Lavell Crawford Hilariously On Diddy, Drake’s BBL, Katt Williams, Kevin Hart, Jordan & Breaking Bad

you wanted to beat Mike up you remember. that you mad him up I was like damn s. what you going to do to little Mike you. was reaching that level of f see you got. your football Fame you're a Hall of. Famer right yeah I didn't see this level. of Fame com in LEL I won Super Bowls I'm. in the Hall of Fame but I'm 10 times. what I was then I didn't expect that you. had a helmet on nobody. know my grinding on my life sacrifice. hustle P the price want a slice got the.

dice that's why all my life been. grinding all my life all my life been. grinding all my life sacrifice hle price. want a slice got the roll a dice that's. why all my life been grinding all my. life hello welcome to another episode of. Club Shay I am your host Shannon sharp. I'm also the proprietor of Club Shay the. guy that's stopping by for conversation. on a drink today you've seen him on the. win Emmy awardwinning Show Breaking. badge he's won a sag award he's.

nominated for a Grammy best comedy album. one of the country's funniest comedians. he's an accomplished actor writer. producer he's one of the country's best. Touring comedians guess what he's a. scene stealing funny man he's been. making us laugh since 1990 he's your. favorite comedian favorite comedian the. one the only leel Crawford keep on keep. on got keep keep on. introducing say some more nice that was. nice I was like damn I ain't never been. brought up like that how you feeling. today I'm feeling wonderful thank you.

for stopping by I know you're busy. you're on the road all the time I see. you I follow you on social media and. you're on the road all the time so thank. you for stopping by giving us a few. moments of your time brother I thank you. for coming up let me come on I've been. wanting to come on now my name been on. here a few times but yeah I was like. damn shanon Shannon talked about me then. you gave me a compliment and you asked. me Bruce Bruce said we ain't had no beef. we Ain had no beef tell he came on here. CU you said some nice stuff every by my. side now I said no he ain't your side. slow.

downo now now now we got. be now you trying to put me in the world. so let me ask you a question we want to. celebrate your career you want you want. to try something to shade by the pte or. you want to try the water I'm going take. a sip of your shade by the pte but if I. drink all day shiny your stuff going to. get. canceled cuz I don't hold my tongue. anyway so I know that it's going to be. something else with if I get drunk but. it's going to be nice and smooth you. going to love there we it's going to be. a smooth.

SM controversial yeah let me know what. you. think not bad it's what it got is is. it's got it's. smooth but it got that with the left. hook to. hit that hit let you know it's still. Brown I thought you was I thought we. going to S up I know you going to take. it straight to the D lell I'm from St. Louis you don't do nothing but take it. to the do you don't get free liquor like.

this all the damn time see how fancy. this damn bottle is you got to drink. that fast before you move. it you get they get you a little glad. and they go okay thank that's it that's. all they do so I want to thank I want to. thank you for pulling up can I ask you I. want to talk about this cuz I I never. knew if I was going to get an. opportunity to sit down and have a. conversation with you and I wanted to. congratulate you and say how proud I am. of you for your weight loss Journey that. you've gone on okay what made you decide.

to say you know what LV this is enough. you got to do this well sitting on. couches and worried about they going. break get in get in my getting in people. car when you a big brother some go you. hear people car act up they always want. to blame it on you hey man my car was. making that noise that you got in here. you a lie you a lie I mean getting on. planes and they kicking you off because. back in the day Southwest used to kick. you off when they you know when you took. up more than one seat really oh man I.

was on there one time man and I had. bought my chicken and the lady said sir. we going to have to remove you from this. flight and put you on a later flight. because we ain't got no room and and I. was just like but I got to get home and. I was trying to be nice and they said. sir you have to go oh she got real B you. have to go you're taking up space and I. said and I looked at the people and the. people look down like they made like I. was a criminal or something and I walked. off the plane and I heard him applaud. like thank God you you got his fat off.

this PL and I said that that was one of. those defining moments man but you. know I didn't have no problem with being. a big brother cuz I you know I had a lot. of I empowered a lot of Big Brothers. just like cuz like when I was growing up. people empow me was like The Fat Boys. Heavy D and the C like chub Rock and you. know when they guys came on I loved him. because CU like Heavy D was fly he was. smooth and all that so you know i s I.

started embracing my bigness you know. and then when I started embracing it the. girls started liking me a little more. they still like me for what I do for. them not for what I got right but you. know but after a while I didn't even see. no problems with it cuz I was always. healthy and and cool and had no problem. but when I started getting those things. like high blood pressure diabetes and. stuff I was like man I got to do. something cuz I was getting diabetes. where I had sap coming out of my back. you know what I'm saying. said I was recycling.

sugar was I was my own willly Wonka. Factor you know what understand I was I. was getting I was out there bad and then. I wanted to get the weight loss surgery. but I was scared back then it wasn't. ready and then one one of these. entertainers that I knew he had got it. and died I said oh I got to go and walk. up these steps I got to I got to eat a. salad I can't I can't get that [ __ ] but. then later on my baby sister got it. right and she beautiful today Erica.

Crawford Erica roach she her she married. and she lost the weight and she had the. full deal and I mean Erica she been slim. ever since I mean looking wonder she was. never humongous but she's bigger than. what she was but she look like a. supermodel now she she making cake she's. a good person she inspired me to to do. it and I said my baby sister did it she. looking good so that's when I went under. night and by that time they got it. together I had it right up here in La. had the lasers surgery and I was sick of.

getting sick from the diabetes and going. to the hospital with that crap and man. it was the best choice I ever made you. know I feel better and it's wor I went. on a two different Journeys man I was. wor a big brother and I made my fame I. made my salary salary with my calories. then I flipped it on them and I slammed. down people like what you going to do. being you know losing weight you going. to be funny like the fat was telling the. jokes you know what I'm saying I mean. because people you know they ask you. that because.

you know they felt more comfortable. around you but when you lose the weight. they ain't got no they they got they. ain't got no joke they can get off I. know you know what I'm saying it's just. like when you elevate yourself correct. you know what I'm saying when you start. you know like like you like how how you. change you went from you know being with. b and you came and got your own show. people thought you oh man you know a lot. of brothers don't be able to reinvent. theirself and you did you know cuz I. swear I thought you going to be that. white man up I was like oo sh about to. slash out that he took his glasses off.

you look like a black Superman you took. the mother off like really and he said. put your glasses back off and I said s g. me he ain't gonna never get a job again. but you handle that with class and. distinction cuz he knew he knew he was. scared he he look scared I would have. been scared too I mean you over there. mad and you took your glass off can you. see without your glass I can okay I'm. going to make sure you know he dead. after you out but but but but but how. you change and I I'm a fighter so I said.

man I can make my career anyway cuz the. funny comes from here right and and I. take that element away where people just. going to laugh at me being funny that's. how I changed and I felt good about it I. felt better I exercised my had my son I. knew I wanted to play with him I said I. can't be a fat dad and my son over there. he want to go play catch and I had to. throw it outside wait for him to bring. it back have clipping my toenails for me.

like hey boy can you help me out son can. you get that baby toe you know now I can. cut my own toenails I can I can go out I. walk up steps I used to look at steps. and way it up I say yall sure you ain't. got no other route but now I feel good. and you know and I you know you know and. I eat what I want but I I eat right and. I don't eat too you know I don't overeat. no right and food don't hold me balance. cuz I used to get bad service right I. used to get bad service and I was like. man and the people rude as hell in here.

yeah give me the pork. chop and the right even though they. treating me like I'm still in there. eating now I walk out man I don't need. this food here I can find a better place. I would it's reported I don't know if. it's true I think you said it at one. point your weight reached 550 lbs how. much did you have to lose in order to. have the. surgery actually I only had to lose 40. lbs man cuz most my weight was gristle. oh. it was strange I was like you really.

doctor it's all gristle he said man. strange enough it's all gristle it ain't. much fat it's just gristle you know and. I guess because I played football I box. I I was an active dude I did just Su the. whole nine so I was doing I was active I. wasn't that guy so he said if you can. lose 45 PB we can do it and I lost 45 lb. just rolling I just sparred and I lost. 45 lb and I was ready for the surgery. right how did you determine what type of. surgery did you research a lot of.

different type surgeries sure because. you I think you had the band right no I. had the SL I had the gastric sleeve you. had the sleeve yeah where it cut out you. know cuz yeah part of your stomach size. of the stomach now it's like a Twinkie. you got that's why I wear it up I can. eat a box of twink before now one at a. time you know what I'm saying maybe two. but now you know basically cut it down. and I mean cuz your body can grow a. stomach back you know really yeah that's. what they told me they said you can you. can get it back you know but I you know.

I keep it in moderation and you and it's. a good thing to know when you once you. get it in your body you get it in your. mind cuz some people they eating this. order be in their brain right you know. like man I'm going to eat all these and. sometimes you do but you have to realize. man food ain't everything it's good you. know but I didn't had every food in the. world I didn't had everything right it. ain't no big deal and I only ID when I. depressed but now I I can find other. venues like fighting going doing. jiujitsu I pay my son I go on stage and.

talk about it you know so it it I had. the gas stre it's a be it's the best one. to me I don't want to get to the point. where you have to take enzy my baby. sister had that one and it was kind of. hard because he had to get her stomach. real small like a egg and she had to. take inss and it was kind of hard on her. you know and it kind of really make you. sick cuz she don't really want to mess. with God playing right so in another. word so what you do now you could eat. and your body your mind will tell your.

body well I'm full whereas before you. just ate ate ate even if your body say. I'm full even if your mind say la You. full you're like no I'm. not N I can finish this they had this. thing I just seen this thing where they. get like 300 hamburgers and you eat them. all you get a $3,000 check. 300 I said back in the day I could have. did that I i' had my rent money man I'll. be here next month right knock these. burgers out again but yeah back then man.

I could eat man I would go to Wing Stop. and get 50 wings and I got 25 before I. get to the house then 25 just help me. get to the traffic and then then I get. home and I be mad cuz I said damn I. should have got I went got 50 wings and. I only got 25 when I got home I used to. go to McDonald and get riding fries I. would give my fries for my meal cuz see. you know you have get your fries for. your burger and you would ate them up. you get home you ain't got no he need.

that riding fries you need cuz you'll. kill them fries on the way home so you. got to get I said give me two riding. fries and two fries with my meal you. understand hey man you had to get it. again were you all were you were you a. large kid so you were large pretty much. through your entire life as a child. adolescence young man I was a chunky kid. I would I these kids now you you see. these kids now they they that's why they. had to come up with uh the uh what they. call yeah o they got o for kids now you.

laughing you laughing I'm for real man. they say you know you're a fat. [ __ ] man you you got to get a. pill when you're a kid you don't even. want to run and play look I was I had a. gut that's all I had [ __ ] I was active. man I would got be outside running all. day riding my bike you had to be wasn't. because you wanted to be your you want. going inside with Mom hell no I had to. clean up the house I had to clean up my.

mom like and then she locked the door. especially when a man come by I can't. even get in the. house how long Mr Larry going to be. here take your Chunky ass out there and. play play kickb they threw me out I'm. too slow to run the. bases but but I I mean yeah back when I. was growing up kids was chunky but they. wern't like they are now yeah I mean you. know I mean CU they this is they were. athletic they play they play dodgeball.

they play kickball you going out you. from Texas where you from I'm from. Georgia Georgia okay you know about. Georgia kids okay Georgia kid black kid. be big like he play basketball he's slim. as hell but it be kids on that team. weighing about 200 lb in the seventh. grade but they can jump right so could. dribble that ball pass that pill and. they was active and I said but I seen. fat kids like that it wasn't you know. they was chunky but they could play and. run I remember a white boy named Dwayne. Dwayne anley Dwayne Dwayne he was the. only white kid in the black neighborhood.

and every black kid tried to beat him up. for the racism he was like the racism. punch attack dummy we all every time say. we hate white people today come here D. Wayne and D Wayne learn how to run and. when he was a chunky kid but that son of. a [ __ ] run like who same Bo you got. three chunky [ __ ] chasing your ass he. ran his ass off and Dwayne could run he. was the fast white boy in the world I'm. surprised he ain't become a track star. y'all.

chasing because he would have won the. Olympic cuz it's mostly black track. stars so they seen them white black boys. chasing that's all he need He he'll win. the 400 and world record but but uh you. know Chun kids were just a lot healthier. then I think the diets and changes like. my son my wife is stickl on stuff man we. going to get raw foods and everything we. get we eat right cuz I mean I don't know. how your I seen you eating down North. Carolina your ass eating bad I say look.

at this muscle ass out there eating. fried chicken and yams and [ __ ] and he. got them damn muscles I don't eat like. that on the time whatever [ __ ] you. probably do eat like that you just. blessed with that I know [ __ ] like you. man just muscle for no damn reason but. don't help a [ __ ] move. though you can't get Shannon to do [ __ ]. hey man hey you hear me hello hello sh. shn the hung of the phone have you. always been comfortable discussing your. weight was your weight ever a a.

situation where you felt embarrassed you. felt ashamed or you've always been open. and felt comfortable discussing it I'm. black yeah of course I was embarrassing. shame but [ __ ] don't care about your. feeling you got that old lady at church. now you better slow down on that bread. you better slow down right you going to. slow down you going you going to swell. up you're already big now and I like. [ __ ] you old lady why you. die I mean why you up on my weight you. know and it be a first and night as fat. as me trying to be a dietician see if I.

ate like you i' be big as hell I said. would you. close you ever watch the 600 lb life. person be 600 lb but the other person be. like. 420 like girl you need to get yourself. together [ __ ] you do too you know but. but that's that be that hate on fat on. fat crime that's what it be but you know. let me ask you well I'm serious cres. yeah I mean we drinking knac and all and. you got this hot ass fireplace on how.

you how you comfortable in this hot ass. fireplace this [ __ ] I drink one sip of. this [ __ ] I'm like I'm in. Africa you want us to turn it down so. turn that [ __ ]. off I put a hot dog on that. [ __ ] I know it's Ambiance but. then we don't need yeah we get trying. to I was like man that that that thing. on fire thank you sir thank you so much. that that looks. better yeah that that Co warmed my ass.

up I'm let me drink this damn water yeah. we got you some water there. you oh that'll work that'll make it. happy all right thank you sir go ahead. with your question I'm sorry no you. good so let me ask you this you growing. up you heavy set chunky. stocky did kid is that why you became a. comedian is to get get them kids up off.

you because if they laughing at somebody. else they're not laughing at leel well. yeah cuz I think I had to use my words. to launch on their ass cuz I could fight. but I couldn't fight fight cuz they get. me on my back I'm like a. turtle I could get up yeah keep keep on. his back he can't fight when he on his. back and I just like a damn turtle I. can't get off my back they got me they. got me that's why I learned learn just I. learn how to fight on my back you know.

because I could I used to hate being on. it was a nightmare and I wrestled in. high school all the way up to all the. way up to college my first year and but. I hated be on on back that's why I would. win because I didn't want to be on my. back so but but then I but but a lot of. times people would say stuff about me. but I was always clever I was always. always because a lot of people talk. about you they think they had nothing. wrong with him but I I see my boy Jerel. I you know back when we was kids he used. to talk be fat I said but look at you.

man your head crooked I mean you know. you look you look like a preey baby you. know what I'm saying I said I said I. said he was a crack baby for crack you. know what I'm saying I mean I used to. find joke I used to because you didn't. know they could talk about my weight and. I would make jokes about my own weight. so that take the power from them and. then I would launch on them man I mean I. you know I was good to talk about people. I talk about people ready I had police. wanting to arrest me cuz I'll be at the. show talking about they ass over bad was.

like say another thing [ __ ] you going. down in the squad car I said what you. going to file though you going to file. he said something about said something. about my outfit I just said you know I. said you hiding a gun in your pants cuz. your nutsack bigger than your gun you. know you look weird [ __ ] you why you. got your tight ass pants on being a cop. you can't stop nobody GNA think you. trying to rape him you know and he got. mad at me man I kept going I said you be. drinking kavier and a cop you need to. call an AP on yourself and he said one.

more joke one more damn joke and I'm. taking your ass down and he really he. had me outside ready to rest me damn the. security Cat come and get him man I was. killing that [ __ ] if you look at it now. celebrities seem to be okay with the uh. the weight loss drug madna oepic you see. they having surgeries are you this [ __ ]. I ain't never heard of though really I. heard of O Zen i' just heard about this. D this D pill is making people lose. weight like that yeah it's it's supposed. to be like for like a it's a shot it's a.

diabetes D yes yes so it's supposed to. control your your sugar level so it burn. the sugar out of you well what it does. it keep you it curves your. appetite yeah but they say [ __ ] to curve. your appetite man I can I can eat. through a diet. pill I get out of here deck some. trim I'm still kind of hungry right you. know I may had to take little bite right. but I mean it don't like but it look.

like Hollywood slimming. down I mean they swear by it but yeah. but they look weird though I seen them. those in they look they got that like. that Ethiopian head and that body look. no offence in Ethiopian I don't want. nobody ethiop what we look like you know. what you look like you know it ain't no. big you look some beautiful women in. ethiop but but uh but they look weird. they don't look healthy like you know. like they they the weight loss don't. look normal you got to you know I think. a lot of people don't know you lose.

weight you got to work out to look Tone. It Up or going look bad yeah yeah you it. ain't going to look good you got to. figure it out right you know you don't. want to look weird and that cuz like I. told people I said I look good my chest. and arms look good you know but you my. underwear over my belly but they pulled. down look like melted caramel you know. what I'm. saying I still got to do a few situps I. got to get some situps and some getups. right so when you you said you became. depressed so was food always when you.

became depressed was that your drug hell. yeah that that that was the drug we but. you never did like alcohol or any hard. drugs it was when you became depressed. you ate well I used to put cocaine on my. chicken I know crack in my meatloaf but. you know but you know the flavor got to. crack out yeah I I mean I smoke weed and. everything but I mean weed was too. depress all weed did was make me make.

you more hungry yeah I go right back in. I smoke weed and get my food and I'm. looking up I'm back in the drive through. again they said sir did we did we leave. something I said yes you forgot to put. another bag in the car and two more. riding. fry but but uh but the uh the uh the. depression thing yeah I ate the food but. I ate food cuz [ __ ] it was good I mean. you girl my mama my mama cook you know. she cook for Army you know I mean and I.

mean and I felt bad if you was eating. you know and black folks make you feel. bad when you don't finish your meal you. know what I'm saying be many children in. other countries that would love to have. this food you wasting like yes ma'am and. I go and eat the food I eaten it for. them children but sometimes though I was. over my other Grandmama house she. couldn't cook and he said you know there. other kids in the other country that. sure would love to have that food I said. well Mell it to him cuz this [ __ ].

I said you ain't got no flavor you cook. like a white woman no offense to any. white people in. [Laughter]. here it's something white people can. cook it's a rarity but you know but. white people don't believe in season. like we do man you see this rap you see. this rap beef going on they say Dre got. a. BBL no he don't cuz I'm not attracted to.

him I don't I don't know if we got BBL I. you like BBL uh B no not at all I I hate. it I thought you I thought you would be. old C you're old natural I'm very. natural I'm very I'm joking okay I would. cuz it don't look right I mean just like. OIC diet the girls get the booty done. the titty done they don't have no money. for the. legs looking like a candy apple they. look bad. stupid they look bad look like a candy.

they look bad and they can't even stand. right you ever see a girl with a BBL. booty hi girl how you doing they got to. keep leaning and rocking cuz the booty. too heavy you know the medicine ain't. settled you know it it don't look right. I mean you know ain't nobody I'mma tell. you women right now nobody looking at. you like that with you can have your old. titties hanging down in your belly butt. not and a man will be all over you I. mean sag of titty you can throw a titty. in the trash can [ __ ] man I found a good. titty stuck in the trash I washed it off.

been sucking on since morning man ain't. nobody throwing away you know and women. think that men really you could have a. flat booty your man will leave you with. a BBL for a girl on a 600 lound life cuz. she's. stationary she always at home she ain't. never leaving so let me ask you a. question so you obviously you a fast. food guy so you like something quick or. did you cook did you cook you C actually. actually let me get you let me get you.

get this straight you don't know [ __ ]. about me sh you don't talking about a. fast food guy [ __ ] [ __ ] I'm quisine. [ __ ] I'm a Cuisine [ __ ] man [ __ ] I. didn't get fat till I started making. money I was chunky before I started. making when I started making real money. when I was doing [ __ ] I was in Ru Chris. [ __ ] when that steak sizzled with that. bullet on itot plate that 40° plate oh. my God that hear. that like I save my grap before the food. come to the table man look at I don't.

even know if I got enough money to pay. for the food but that's where I ate when. I start they putting butter on steak. that's when I got fat you know Matt. Donald and Burger King didn't do it but. when I was at the r Chris R Chris Morton. Sullivans all those fancy steak houses. when they had like steak and lob you get. a surf and turf I get a lobster an and. you know and then when you get your Fame. you ain't got to pay for nothing all the. time you walk in Mr GR would you like to. try hell yeah I try [ __ ] I'm EA a whole.

I'm whole bull back you understand me. and Adam Santa andam Sant he have his. restaurant when I first did his first. moov he took me we at this restaurant. right up off of uh. lanica I forgot the name it they. probably ain't there no more but they. had a Time first time I had a tomahawk. tomahawk oh that's big yes sir 32 hour. yes sir we cook it on this fire R it it. was delicious man and it was a big ass. thing that long bone oh that long bone. and I said man I love to eat quality.

food I love I love good I don't like. restaurants where they go we had some. vious SW and they give you this little. bitty ass square with some sace around. it I smack [ __ ] out you bringing. something like that I'mma still be. hungry after I leader but now when they. had the steak and the sezon they had. seasoning and they brought fried rice. with it I was like oh my God this is. great and once I get that kind of food I. like quality food fast food it didn't. kind of went down because it's a rush. you know what I'm saying and a lot of.

places that that are new like the mom. and pop fast food nah I mess with them. but you know I'm too grown now you know. back in when I was a kid it was. McDonald's every day I used to go and I. used to this what I do with McDonald's. and this is a fat tip for any young fat. brother out there starting you know I. used to go I used to get two double. cheese and then a double a Big Mac right. and I take the take the middle bu off. the Big Mac and replace with the two. double Che cheeseburgers and basically. it was called the real Mac it was called.

the macalicious you know what I'm saying. and I would knock that mug out man it. was delicious man I walk in and then I. was getting it so much that people have. drive to the usual Mr Crawford and I. feel fat as hell and then then I seen. his fat brother behind me right what you. getting at what you stacking at cuz he. cuz when I you know that back in the day. when they put the Big Mac and that. little. styrr you can switch you put your fries. over here but I had Burger over there. and Fries over and I would stack the. fries in between the different burgers.

and I was sitting up there eating my. burger like that one time see I'm a. genius okay when it come down to food. and these big brother was looking at me. like man how you do that and the manager. put one of them he put one them on the. menu one time and they said some lady. came in and demanded to take it down cuz. her husband was eating them and he wind. up going to the hospital with heart. problems I said he a [ __ ] that's why he. he can't this man food he can't his food.

hell no this man food but yeah but I I I. like fine I like quality food but you. know we eat we had a lot of comfort food. I had to. learn to enjoy it cuz I like good salads. and stuff and quality stuff I'll go to a. vegan restaurant and enjoy it and do. what huh eat [ __ ] I eat you you eat vegan. no you don't eat a vegan I don't you. never had one I've had it I don't I. don't I don't agree with you I ain't. saying I'm going to turn you into a.

vegan cuz I hate [ __ ] play with. me with that [ __ ] I I you I go to vegan. restaurant I eat a salad all right and. don't don't trick me with uh mock. chicken tenders and make it they made. out of tofu or or jack fruit don't play. me this lady I watched this video this. lady. made vegan Ox taals right what oh my God. I was I bet they were good and terrible. I I can't I can't I I was trying to. count on my Instagram uh page because I.

said this this is demonic right here cuz. most vegans don't believe in God I'm. going just tell you right now you can't. pray over. lettuce lettuce is grass cows don't even. look happy eating it I ate a hamburger. in front of a cow one time and you know. what that cow did he licked his lips. like he wanted. something I said [ __ ] that's cism he. kept looking at me like bring my cousin. over here I will eat them in a minute I. said I know you're delicious as you got.

older did the fat jokes bother me. because it seemed like you told the joke. like I take a shower my back still dry. mhm so it's kind of like you're trying. to take some of the toxicity out of the. joke yeah and but did it did it ever. bother you cuz you're on stage and you. you're a comedian and so when you're on. stage and you know you going in and. people like man LEL Sito you know what. your fat ass down you a did that bother. you well if somebody say that to me I. roast a [ __ ] out of sit your funky ass.

down your nasty ass mama sucking dick. for a living that's how I go at you some. [ __ ] called me one time called me The. Nutty Professor I said you damn right. I'm Nutty Professor and I gave your mama. this dick in clumps the other. night hey that that was that hey and see. I mean they run up on stage and I huh. they'll run up on stage monkey ass up. there if you want to you going to go. back in a box look here [ __ ] I bring my. mm on page I I I I don't always bring it.

I'm from Texas I live in Texas we got. hot ones down there for you but I don't. worry about it you know they run on. stage on people who they think they can. run on stage if they can get some Fame. off of me off you they'll run on stage. if they if they if they think they can. take you they'll run on stage but you. don't want to do that I got a mic I got. a stool I got a I got a got M man I put. dude don't do it if you that mad take. your ass outside and cool off now I had. cat catch me off the stage and want to.

holl at me I remember one of them time I. was. joking I was in Oakland California and I. had said a joke about this. cat he was in the up in the balcony and. I said and I went it was even a bad joke. I said this brother up there strong arm. in the booty he got this girl so scared. she said can you rape me later you know. and I did a joke like cu the way she was. looking and she he don't rap me she you. know a woman to get your ass who he what. you say that about my friend he don't do.

I said I was just joking so after the. show the brother going to say he he he. go I didn't know he was mad next thing I. walk down what's your joke now [ __ ] and. I ain't know this [ __ ] was tall as the. building right I looked up and I said I. have nothing to say sir I have nothing. to say but at that time I was like dude. I said you big I ain't scared of you. being big I'm just scared that I'm going. get some charger cuz I had a four in my. hand I know how to eat with it I know.

how to [ __ ] a [ __ ] up with it you. understand that he'll sue me for. fighting him you know what I'm saying. and see and that's the thing about it. you know I don't I don't put people in a. position all the time to jump me but if. you say something to me I have every. right to say something back right but I. I I don't people people they enamored by. me I I'm I'm I don't really have nobody. I come up here and I make you laugh and. I I don't pick you on you too much you. know if you say something to me I might. mess with you but I see if you going. through something I can tell I got a.

good empathy on people if I see them. going through I'll leave them alone cuz. it ain't worth it I say brother you know. I love you man go because it ain't that. I'm scared of you I said I ain't come. here to start a fight right you. understand I ain't got and I'll be. telling some young comments you ain't. got to push it you already won you got. the microphone you don't have to do that. the people paid to see you and a lot of. the people have insecurities now. nowadays Shannon you know like you you. know you you sensor you want to be Mike. Up's ass you remember that you mad.

[ __ ] I was like damn sh what you. going to do to little Mike you a't had. to be that damn mad you take got to take. a joke because see you that's you. reaching that level of Fame see you got. your football Fame you're a Hall of. Famer right but but but but see this. Fame is totally different cuz you you. out there but you wanted it though I I. didn't I didn't I didn't see this level. of Fame come in LEL and I thought that. thing what the [ __ ] you talking about n. not like hold on hold on hold on hold on. man what the [ __ ] why you do it then no. but here's the thing like you said you.

look at my career in the NFL right and I. won Super Bowls I'm in the Hall of Fame. but I'm 10 times right now and I've been. retired two decades what I was then I. didn't expect that well [ __ ] you had a. helmet on nobody know the. [ __ ] what you. think [ __ ] what the fu ain't nobody see. your ass they see your name on the back. of your journey you make a touchdown. good job [ __ ] not go over there and do. another. time this is different it your face out.

there your muscles out there your outfit. out there [ __ ] going to make jokes. about and the in you in the worst time. to be famous though cuz [ __ ] do skits. about [ __ ] did so many skits on your. out man they need to cut me a check hey. hey you sure but you but the thing about. what it does for you you know what it. does for you you you you getting your. [ __ ] is hot everybody want to be on. there yeah and you you have to find the. you you you had coaches cuss you out you.

went up against some of the biggest. linebackers right this this this the. same [ __ ] it's just that you don't it. it's it's different now it's words and. some little punk joking about you [ __ ]. look at my head [ __ ] these [ __ ] kill. my head and I can't even I got to put a. hat on and do a video on Instagram cuz. the [ __ ] it would hurt my feelings I. was like damn my head [ __ ] up and and. I know my head [ __ ] up CU my son got. my same head when I cut his hair that. [ __ ] wore a hat for 2 years till this.

hair grew back I said this [ __ ] do not. like his head right but I I gra I. gradually I'm a man you know I ain't. going none of these clowns could reach. the level that you you metamorphosize. your career in so many different levels. it ain't even a joke they joke about. yeah [ __ ] but look what I got [ __ ] you. walk around you so rich you got a little. dog you carry with you [ __ ] you that's. that's white rich but see here's the. thing it wasn't so much the joke that he.

said is who said it like a lot of people. say stuff I ignore them but see Mike and. see Mike ain't [ __ ] Mike a regular [ __ ]. mik I knew Mike when he had just got out. of pay attention man Mike Mike turn his. life around he the same [ __ ] as you. yeah he the same [ __ ] and we had that. conversation when we were the Indie and. I was glad we had a conversation but you. know what Lille i i a look I ain't no. luck of said it I understand what I know. understand your feelings yes no I hey.

man to man head you know hot head to Hot. Head it it goes without saying I mean. you've been fighting all your life [ __ ]. say something that you hey [ __ ] what. you jumping on me all the money you got. but the thing about it with Mike ever. said it more [ __ ] watch you it. ain't they watch Cat Williams go off on. everybody and you sat there and ate all. that [ __ ] up but they talking about say. when they got mad at me yeah of course. [ __ ] cuz you out there letting them say. earthquake can't read what I mean what I. supposed to say I ain't gave him a.

script so I don't know if he can or. not he just said interview over I'm. getting out here you just did like that. but you was sitting back say oo [ __ ] we. about to get this [ __ ] Quake Quake first. of all Quake my guy like I said I some. guys I know like I know quake quake and. I have conversation I talk to quake. quake and I have gone to dinner together. but a lot of the people that he. mentioned I felt that he was retorting. what they said Ricky said that he had. the role of Money Mike and he was. setting that straight I asked said did. he steal the joke because that was.

reported s said he didn't and and well. the [ __ ] had. receips they showed the same joke and. this a thing this a thing man this what. this in the defense of said he from my. hometown I love s and uh I mean dude you. know sometimes you do a joke and you. feel it I ain't never sto no I don't. have to get joke cuz my life is is. hilarious I I can write [ __ ] I go up and.

talk about I elaborate on the comedian's. joke that he did on stage like Chris. Tucker was on stage last night at the SB. show and I said boy he did talking about. he had to ride and Coach cuz he ain't. got the money no more he said he had his. son P pull out a knife keep her safe. back here you know cuz he was scared and. I said oh I wish I could have went up. behind her cuz I would have Road off. that joke I said yeah I was on that same. plane with Chris Tucker I was sitting in. first class I got a lot of miles and I. and I look behind the curtain I say hey.

Chris good to see you [ __ ] I'm watching. Rush shower on the movie up. there yeah don't give movies back there. but you did a real good job with that I. shut the curtain let me eat [ __ ] but. but but but comedy is not yours to own. it's yours to create right andtime I had. a white boy Ste a joke of mine uh I. don't even know who he is and he he. I don't know who he is and he know he. got it from me because white comments.

black comments they see they know me. they I'm I'm on everything so when you. watch my special my first special can. brother get some love I did this joke. about dude supp been my father he was I. found out was my dad he he he was he uh. and when I got to meet him you know I. was like damn he he was a professional. bodybuilder I said we got that in aike. you know he build his body one way I. build mine BL hamburger you know and. then I said but I seen a [ __ ] in that. bikini I said I don't know if me my. daddy though I'm going to do a blood. test cuz that [ __ ] got a lot of dick on.

him I ain't inherit none of that dick I. said [ __ ] I must take dick after my mama. you know so so this white comedian did. it then NFL player did it uh he did it. on the talk show he did the joke and. [ __ ] never gave me no credit for the. joke you know but I you know even Tyler. Perry did a joke that was of mine he he. was at the airport he was it was witness. locate Witness reloc Lo with this. program whatever the movie he did and I.

you know he get mad whatever but I know. he did it because he took the trailer. off because somebody you know and it. ain't he ain't no comedian comedian he's. a actor a writer a Creator he's very. talented I did a movie with him so but. somebody probably wrote the joke cuz he. was up there and they was in the Lin of. the airport and they said ma'am uh for. security reason you got to take your. shoes off we got to check your shoes he. said take my shoes off he said who going. to put them back on that's my joke I did. that on my special and my 30 minute. special on Comedy Central that's one of.

my main joke you know I said I ain't got. no bombs in my shoes I said if I had. bombers shoes as heavy as I am soon as I. put them on the [ __ ] going to explode. you know and that's the joke you know so. but I mean when it comes down to that. you know when CAD was jumping on I said. [ __ ] you make a. $100,000 a [ __ ] show [ __ ] you. worried about the [ __ ] ass joke you did. back from Comic View mhm I love cat cat. is I I I knew cat when he was Cat in the.

Hat and he he we was in stock then he. may have say he Al but he know who I am. I remember back right you know before. way before he was famous we were doing. tours with Rick Sullivan up there in in. uh in uh in Oakland we did all of. uh what What's it called up there we did. we did Stockton we did uh the all the. all the north northern California joints. and uh F know all that and you know C. was very Talent he was funny you know he.

was good dude he was always quiet but he. was funny he did his thing but when he. got on when he blew up on that uh money. mik on Friday I said that [ __ ] about to. be a superstar because that money Mike. he and he embellished every character. that some bit do that some bit he eats. them characters up Money Mike he eat and. he roll he turned and that's why you. know Rudy Ray Moore told me something. way back he said use what you got your. fat tell about your fat use everything.

you got and Cat took that pimp roll and. metamorphosized that some [ __ ] into a. career you remember he had the pimpology. all that [ __ ] he made he P yeah pimpon I. mean he he he made so much out of that. it became he became the hottest the most. one of the most preved comedians in the. world because he used it that's called. milking your career and what he did with. that was powerful and then when he was. on My Wife and Kids and he play he.

played uh D Damon Wayne's Nemesis man. this dude funny he's so talent and I. think you know I and the painful thing I. I think that he think that he not he. doesn't get all that he deserve and he. and I and I understand because how hard. he goes and he is very smart and very. talented but but me him relishing off of.

one little joke cat I mean back then. [ __ ] that you so if somebody steal. you're okay if they steal I'm not okay. with it you're not okay but what if they. gave you credit said man I took this. joke from from from leale yeah that'd be. great and then make the check out the. you know that's that's what you do you. you know especially if you especially if. you are famous right I mean if you. blocking me and you getting all these. opportunities like cuz. you know Prim example uh everybody asked.

me about that Mr Brown [ __ ] right right. okay that Mr Brown [ __ ] that everybody. look that's all man when you went up on. Mr Brown bo bo boom and David man he. he's a nice guy right whatever but David. man he he went he tried to get me with. that thing we wind up going toe to toy I. sure I said [ __ ] I'm fat but I got. these jokes [ __ ] and I told that he. thought he could turn me up I said and I. didn't kill him with some the bruises I. could have got him with I said [ __ ] how. you calling me fat your whole house is.

fat [ __ ] said I said but I didn't do. that I I didn't tear his ass up like. that but I could have really tore him up. but I just lit him up intellectual it. could it could it could have been worse. yeah and it was it was weird CU I didn't. want it to get weird with with Steve. Harvey's uh it was still a show and I. Ain want to make it but I knew where I. was but Steve know I was clown but they. but what where they all came. from we we did I I was I as cuz I did a. clean show people don't know I don't.

have to cuss we did I did a show uh this. weekend here at Netflix called Let There. Be Labs you know and Fred Hammond he. hosted and it was everything with Nephew. Tommy and I went up and did 40 minutes. live without any cussing it was. hilarious the people laugh so hard G. standing no fa but I I be I I could. probably go do the church circuit and. probably be just as famous as I am over. here right so but I just you know I mean. God guide me where he want me to but so.

anyway so I did this Mega fest with uh. TD JS no Diddy. I there you go come on come on L you was. trying to sneak out no no no only reason. I said that Diddy wasn't there. [Laughter]. then theil. B I mean man we going to swallow that. move on okay come on. no d i I got I got to take another you.

might need to P you one to no. that's that's the symptoms of that come. see that slipped out I my brain was like. no don't do it my tongue said [ __ ] that. we going to do. that but we was at the mega Fest yeah. all this was the second time I did it. David man was there you may not admit. this you know black people he did this. joke it was so similar to this joke that.

I did on laugh of. paloa it was just it was pretty much the. same joke right I mean it's a couple. people do it you know I ain't going to. put them out there but they know who. they are and they do the joke and it's. my joke and I did on laoa and got a big. standing over talking about you know I. said I went over my white friend Jeffrey. house and Jeffrey you know is a. different world over at Jeffrey house. cuz we said hey LEL come on in man we. going to go and play with some my toys. you know like that I used to go over his. house cuz he was an only child and he.

used to you know his mama buy him every. to he had a GI Jo with the con Fu Grip. he had a $6 million man you remember. the6 million man you look behind his. head and you had B Vision he had evil. cona he had all the games and I used to. go over there and play with some when he. wasn't looking steal a couple take them. home so so I I went over there and I. went over his house and we was going. upstairs said come on L let's go. upstairs before he can get upstairs you. know you know I said his mother said. wait right there miss you hold it right. there don't you move another muscle you.

don't you go up there St you need to. clean your room you you're not going to. have company you might clean your room. you need to clean your room Pronto and I. was like Oho [ __ ] I said white mama just. like black mama they don't play you know. like that you know but Jeffrey looked at. his mom and looked at me moved me out of. the way and stepped up on his mama like. cleint these was said look here lady I. have company and we're going upstairs. and have a good time playing with some. my toys some of them are missing I think. Lille took some but I'm not going to say. anything and we're going to have a great. time and I'll clean my room when I ready.

and you bring us some cookies and. lemonade Pronto you know like that and I. was like. oo I said I said I'm F to go you you. about to die I said run run run you know. and and all his mother did was go what. and she went and she just ran in the. kitchen didn't do nothing to him and I. said holy [ __ ] I said I said hold on man. I said said hold on Jeffrey how you sit. up here and talk to your momma your mom.

about to kill you you better get the. hell out he said Lille look here one. thing I've learned in the eight years of. of my life on this Earth I've learned. that if you stand your ground you talk. to your mother like a adult she has no. other way but to treat you like a adult. I said I hear you Jeffrey but your mama. right in there loading her clip right. now she about to put put 10 in your ass. right now he said no no I guarantee you. you look your mother in the lie and. stand your ground she has no nothing. else but to respect you and I say Jesse. you lying before I can say another word.

his mother came up there with cookies. and lemonade said you guys have a good. time I said God damn you tried yeah I. said Jeffrey I cannot stay I'm going to. take my cookies and my lemonade and some. of your toys to go cuz I got to get home. and inform my mom of the new room so so. I got home and I I'm ready too I drank. my cook my my lemonator Ain my cooking I. got to that screen door I kicked it open. my mom looked at me and said I don't. know what's wrong with your foot. but you better keep it off my screen. door and I just looked at her like this.

he said boy I don't know what you you. playing too much but you know that trash. been waiting on you to take out to the. dumpster now going to take that trash. out I said oh. [ __ ] here my moment my M and then I said. I said I said you remember everything. Jeffrey said I said look here lady I. said look here lady right now I. said I told her I said I said right now. I'm going upstairs to play with some my. toys that I throw from Jeffrey house and.

I I'm going to have a good time and I. want you to tell you right now lady then. and then I and before I can say another. thing I thought I was still. talking I was in the hospital for like. like like three months had a shoe up my. ass she down there kill me I I got a. hospit I was 19 she came to the hospital. I thought she was feeling bad she said. that trash still waiting on you at the. house. okay so that that was the joke that was. a joke that I ended on on the laugh of.

lucier and everybody ran with that. [ __ ] cuz see I right man right I. I I I I can come up I come up stuff all. the time I can go on stage talk about. this whole interview later on tonight. let me ask you a. question do you write all your stuff or. do you have ghost. writers I I don't believe in only ghost. I believe in is Holy Ghost I Ain know no. no so you had nobody's ever wrote any. material for b no n i mean do have you. rote for other people yes I have rote.

for other people I've gave you know I. mean I've helped comedians uh elaborate. on their jokes and everything I give I. give taglines to all my f mean I don't. charge them I see if I see something. funny you know that's what you do in the. community of Comedy you give somebody. ideas that they can work and they like. like my I got young guy Isaiah Kelly you. met Isaiah cuz he came up in front of. you by by bring not bringing me on the. show he said you said you going to be on. the show Tuesday right yeah. so that's my man and I and when I see.

something that'll work for him I'll add. to you know as material and yeah I write. all the time I write I write jokes all. the time for people and I I mean I would. love to be a comy writer because I come. up with some great ideas but you have to. have see I don't like writing for people. because my mind is is different it's on. another level okay I I don't I don't. write see I ain't afraid to say [ __ ]. about my insecurities anything I talk.

about my dick ain't big I talk about all. these things about myself I said like I. did a joke I said during the lockdown I. ain't had [ __ ] to do and my dog kept. coming around licking his balls and it. was look you know every day he be in. front of me licking his balls it was so. disrespectful but after a while I. started getting entertained by it I was. like man your balls can't taste that. damn good and then I finally snapped her. I said get your gay ass out of here look. at your ball get your ass out of here. get your n ass out here Li your ball the. dog got up slowly and looked at me like.

to say. hater and he was right because if I can. lick my own balls this interview. wouldn't be going on right. now I wouldn't even be married. everything but that's the jokes that I. come up with I I I go there right. because you tell jokes like I don't know. if you saw the Tom Brady roast that's. old school where they nothing is off the. table if you actually were to tell jokes. like that without that situation I don't.

know how you survive because they're. talking about I'm still here [ __ ] no. but I'm I'm still I'm still here you. tell J like that man I go I go where I. go I don't beat up people's sexual press. like that whole I don't have to right. but funny [ __ ] real [ __ ] yes that's. funny ComEd supposed to be taboo it. ain't supposed to it ain't funny it's. supposed to be nice and yeah I mean you. don't go no comedian to just talk about. I was at a birthday party and my kids he.

fell down the steps oh boy boom boom. boom he know I ain't [ __ ] listening. to you right I mean you come up there. and you say some [ __ ] that nobody else. say right I got like I was in Little. Rock and I got on stage and I kept it. real I was like well damn I said we. could did this show in my hotel ticket. Sals is Harbor or something [ __ ] I feel. so unsuccessful nobody came up there and. said that [ __ ] and I said damn I said. could y have told one person you know. and I and the way I said I shared it I. said no don't be leaving early like you.

got to get to your park your car your. park car park right that front ain't. nothing but about five y'all in Arena. why we do this damn show I said let me. keep my eye on the promoter cuz I don't. know if my money here you know and I you. know but I'm the kind of guy I I just. let it fly and sometimes if you. confidence in what you say it's just. like talking to a girl you know talking. to a lady if you say it and you. damn right ain't nobody can jump on it.

you know ain't nobody can say something. to you it's just like it's a that's the. Rhythm that you had to jump on you know. and I I don't I said when they talk oh. you you going to be through I'm like man. you need to get your punk ass out of. here you know you shouldn't come to a. show ready to be offended right you. shouldn't come to a show and worry about. being offended yeah if you go to a. comedy show you should be expect you. should expect I mean the greatest. comedians in the world. that that I Love Like Richard Pride he. told he shared his life but he go hard.

Robin Harris he talk about everybody. artist he go hard I I love people that. don't don't that they go past the line. Robert shimel I mean people that that. people don't even look at and be like. incredible I mean this guy Tony hen. Cliff he was on that roast. that and he a gay dude and Tony will go. hard Tony go so hard but what I like. about Tony he got a thick ass skin you. know he and David Lucas he a funny young.

comment coming up he be going at him. with gay Jo and he be going toe for toe. and he don't care but that's how the. world should be man people don't to have. their opinion even if they don't can't. say they gonna still judge you it's just. like I tell you I said you you man you. can do them them people pick on your ass. andtime you should do what you what you. killing with is laughing and some of. that [ __ ] because you like yeah whatever. [ __ ] I look good in my [ __ ] you you. know and and and the funny thing about. it I mean even if uh if these guys like.

like I was going to say what Mike H was. joking about that mean Mike El watching. your [ __ ] that's the cool thing. [ __ ] watching you they ain't. watching you you know cuz you on TV. something has to make them want to watch. you and like everybody said like I even. said I wish that [ __ ] cat would have. said something about me so I could sell. some. tickets I think everybody want cat about. yeah I mean after a while CU people like. oh why ain't nobody retaliating I said. why it's made him famous Michael Black.

ain't never been that damn famous he Ain. wrote a new jok since. 73 see now see now he going to come at. me cuz you said that on my platform I. told him that don't give a [ __ ] if he. say that's my I'm cool with Michael Bo. he don't he don't like because I go I CH. me Jan we talk about I mean dude he but. why they get upset at me. though I don't know do you think they. get you afraid of Michael black no man. stop it come on man you you ain't never.

you no but I'm saying they were upset at. me he afraid he going he afraid he going. to hit you with a blow. dart come in here with a spear and the. bone his no what you say why you let. them talk about my. people that [ __ ] ain't even whole. African what that [ __ ] been in Philly. most of his life that [ __ ]. changed his accent so damn fast he was. working for us a when it was us a Mike. perpetrated that [ __ ] scared of.

elephants he just went back to Africa. they ain't even recognize him they who. is this [ __ ] I mean he he my he my. friend but I joke about it I mean he. been we've been around for years I mean. and Mike one of them guys that he he. take it on the chin you know he he you. look at his his paid people be killing. him and uh but he eat it up you know he. is smart enough to know that's how you. know that's why I respect him because he.

still out here eating right cuz he take. it and go and get it he don't let nobody. hold you back cuz people and some people. don't talk about I don't even like talk. about none of these other community they. don't never say [ __ ] about me and you. know who the [ __ ] I am everybody in this. [ __ ] game know who the [ __ ] I. am but they be trying to play like they. me you can't Den I'm undeniable right. and I ain't talking like Ricky gave you. love Ricky say man they tried to get me. to follow L man [ __ ] Ricky Smiley man. black ass [ __ ] that [ __ ] ain't [ __ ]. all he throwing his life in my.

face yeah you need to come out on my. boat [ __ ] your boat. [ __ ] always throw your little [ __ ] ass. boat in my life you know he always want. to come out there I don't want to be on. a rich [ __ ] boat hold me out there then. I'm working for you hey man get that uh. tie that rope off I'm like I don't work. for you you ate up all the snacks you. out here now I can't get back cuz I. don't swim good I I float good but I. don't swim good you mention that you did. something with Steve Harvey and Steve. told the joke about he can finally. embrace you he can put his arms all the.

way around you what's your working. relationship because a lot of comedians. have had great relationships with Steve. how he's helped them earthquake told me. how he's helped them said Entertainer. told me how he's helped them Ricky. Smiley told me how he's helped them a. lot of guys that Steve has given info to. give given little uh tricks of the trade. of how to become more successful in the. game what's your relationship like with. Steve yeah me and Steve got a KN figh in. the alley about 10 years ago I cut him I. cut him deep what' you do huh I cut him.

deep right around the thigh muscle right. around that thigh muscle I stabbed that. [ __ ] it was over dice game I'm just. playing you got quiet [ __ ] hey no I mean. you let me tell you let me say this you. know I give Steve it flowers flowers for. allowing me he allowed me the maximum he. could give a funny guy right because see. when you. funny [ __ ] don't give you.

opportunities right and you you if you. see I thought see I got the game all. wrong like you catch the ball in. football you make a touchdown you become. a Hall of Famer right you catch you do. all the yards you you play y win. championship you get a ring comedy ain't. that comedy you can be a funny in the. movie you can't get no more movie cuz. you too funny cuz the [ __ ] that. they think the yeah you know you unless. you selling the tickets you going to get. shunned away and see I had to force.

myself in and and start selling some. tickets cuz the people love me but it's. sometime if you don't have the power of. the machine behind. you yeah yeah that they they don't know. you there you know so when Steve gave me. gave me opportunity to come on the. hoodie was and I and see you that one. thing about it if you let me in some. [ __ ] it's over yeah turn that van on. the fire went out is still hot in it's.

got a lot of insulation in it. family but but but but when you. uh when when when uh you know when you. and I get an opportunity I eat it up. right I don't be playing with it I I. tell people I said God when God let you. in you go in like a virus you catch you. catch on like bacteria you you spread. your [ __ ] around and tell it's over. because. you know you don't know when you going. to get it again it's just like my wife a. beautiful woman she liked to me I.

married her ass so no other [ __ ] can. get her I said that I said I'll be all. over I put a baby in the everything so. Ain't No [ __ ] can ever get her she. can't never leave me and I spoil the. [ __ ] out of her so she give it another. [ __ ] he GNA have to step it up he G to. have to do all the [ __ ] like that I. can't I ain't got no bank account money. cuz I'm I'm taking care of my wife I. make sure I bu business I took care of I. I do all I can for cuz I love her first. of all but I mean when people bless you. you take advantage of they blessing. corre that's what Steve he put me on.

that H award and at first they wouldn't. never show all the [ __ ] I do cuz if they. showed all the [ __ ] one time a person. had a video their camera phone and I was. and I they they didn't they cut out all. they'll cut it down because they have to. they be trying to edit they have to fit. it in maybe fit it in well who are you. selling it to you ain't selling it to. nobody why the [ __ ] you don't let it. play right you understand what I'm. saying yes so so but but somebody put it. on video they T it on the jumbo Tri and.

people that M got like about two three. million views of me just going going and. so when I came back and started doing it. I started taking over that m i saw every. time I did it Hood it was I would just. have fun and Steve just allowed me to to. be blessed off that he put me on this. radio show and I got to do it he tried I. was trying to do you know but I do. things my way I I'm I'm a I'm a Problem. Child I I ain't never been it's like.

they love me but I go so hard they don't. know how to take me right you know you. know like you know but when I get. opportunities and he helped me a lot. only time he hurt my feeling is when he. ain't put me in Think Like a Man you. know I was like man I thought I was. going to get in one of this movie I. ain't get in one or two all these. comedians in the mother ain't put me in. there he going to put Bruce Bruce in but. put he could put us in there as brothers. attacking the food store you know what. I'm saying I I was just like I was like. why why why the I didn't get that.

opportunity but I couldn't hold that to. regard because he he let me in but one. time he did let me in one time and. and and I probably [ __ ] up [ __ ] up. the tour cuz I I couldn't do no more. shows cuz we was in Philadelphia at the. L course theater right right. and I went on before him right and I. went up in that [ __ ] and I tore a hole. in that son of [ __ ] I knew he heard the.

crowd because he was getting his. mustache trim he came out the back with. the the napk still tied around his neck. like the [ __ ] that [ __ ] do you know. what I'm saying he wasn't he wasn't. expect it like that but but if you don't. watch your competition you don't. understand that your competition could. be a bad sometimes it's not best to be. go last especially you follow one of. them Heavy Hitters well I mean if you. don't understand that you're a heavy. hitter you know cuz I got they they.

don't let me they don't allow me to go. first I can't even go first I they let. me go first and then I [ __ ] it up I [ __ ]. it up and I blow and then everybody. after me the show go down because I. ain't sitting up there saying I'm the. bad [ __ ] in it but I'm one of them. right and I come up there and I'm I. these opportunities you don't get up. here and play with it right you. understand and then you know I'm I'm. always Reinventing my comedy I write and. write and if it don't work [ __ ] I'm. talking about [ __ ] that I see I'm I make. her stuff on the Fly just to get these.

people going and to Ling me I I don't. comedy is a wonderful OPP it's a. beautiful thing that we don't we try to. put in a box it's not a it's not a box. gift you supposed to exploit it and see. a a lot of these people that do these. skits on on Instagram and stuff they. don't know that the boundaries of being. funny you can [ __ ] talk about you. anybody else I mess with your ass the. whole time I've been here but I ain't. offend you you know I [ __ ] with you and.

I'm going to [ __ ] with you I [ __ ] with. your ass bad I let me tell you something. Michael Jordan I talked about Michael. Jordan playing baseball he was at he was. at Anne Walker's uh thing he have every. year in in Chicago and he was playing. baseball and I was saying y [ __ ] out. here kissing his ass CU he the legend he. a legend in basball he Ain Legend in. softball they kept on rolling the ball. they let him get a home run just because. he was Mich I said man T that [ __ ] out. man he ain't that damn good he got mad.

at me I said I said he can't even hit. the ball I was giving him the business. and after after the game I went up ask. for a picture and I didn't know he took. it hard he he took it hard I said he. said I said Miss geordan can I get a. picture with you he said he grabb me. like [ __ ] let me tell you something. I'll take a picture with you B you. better stop talking about me and and. after that the whole weekend that [ __ ]. made me come over and hang out with him. gave me cigars and everything he just. and Charles Oakley he fell in love Yeah.

Charles Oak said he loved it he said you. talk about his ass kid I don't give a. [ __ ] and it was one of those things. where that's how I am as a person if I. get opportunities I'm having fun with it. and I I. don't I don't I don't get that like I. think I'm a big guy big guys we you know. you know being a big guy we can't always. get in where little Kevin har can get in. cuz he don't look as dangerous as us. right you know big guy like me my voice. is strong they might not let me in. because I'm big guy but I'm a I'm a.

humble guy but but they don't look at me. like that that's why people say I'm. underrated it's not that I'm underrated. they keep me off because sometimes they. don't know how to take me or they fear. me and I mean and that's on you I mean. dude it's okay but let me go back to. Ricky smileing [ __ ] Ricky smile and but. I'mma tell you something let me tell you. something about Ricky. me and Ricky been boys since before you. know before he had his millions and I.

had my. money and uh and I remember one. time uh I was in Oklahoma Oklahoma City. D Mill time got rest his. soul and we he had booked this show it. was me him I don't think hope FL was I. don't sure whatever I forgot who it was. but we doing these. this dude had us running around doing. his club and then wind up saying he a. make no money so.

they the mil time just pissed you know. some comedian you know little guy he man. [ __ ] had us all the time they. can't pay us you know like that I said. oh they ain't paying us that's one thing. back when I was younger I was. [ __ ] man I was something else. and this comedy game I don't even know. cuz I used to be a a bouncer I used to. be a a a niggaer to get it done so I. went there and said hey man so where's. our money because I know I ow you owe me. about $1,500 he said well we Ain got.

your $1,500 this this brother this. brother said this [ __ ] he talking [ __ ]. talking strong and I said I said when. you when you going to get it to me uh. you want to write out a check he said. [ __ ] I ain't got your money he did it. like this we upstairs and there a pool. table there right so the [ __ ] said I. said well what you got he going to throw. like $200 hit me in the face before I. knew it I had to keep H stick back broke. that mug over that nigga's neck and he. was knocked out and I tiptoed out of.

there and I said oh I might have killed. that [ __ ]. right $2 hey hey hey first of all this. is pass the statute of limitations so I. can tell the story yeah I got the money. I took the little $200 but we in our. room and I'm sitting up there kind of. shaking cuz you know right I ain't know. what's going to happen. so all of a sudden later on they called. his boy called us he called looking for. us I said man I ain't going down there.

they Dem they didn't know why when him. go down he said man he need something he. going to talk he probably got the money. he want to take us to lunch he feel bad. so I said okay I know what this [ __ ] is. he trying to you know he really want to. see me but he couldn't do nothing. because they had already came downstairs. so he went down there to be an enforcer. I guess he was his boy you know and he. probably probably wanted to shoot me. whatever you know so we go to Village in. over there and we over there and I'm.

just getting comfortable man and we just. joking and laughing you know I'm you. know I'm me I'm be me all day you know. I'm cracking joke and he G to say you. know you ain't no convenient you just. make up stuff off talking off you know. just make jokes about stuff coming out. the top of your head I said well dumb. ass that's what a comedian is your dumb. [ __ ] so he said what I said. that's what it is he said [ __ ] I want. to [ __ ] your ass up what you did to my. boy he talking all this [ __ ] and I I. wasn't paying no attention and Dem milit.

time just sitting back like what's going. on and I grab n say boom hit his face on. the table and then [ __ ] rolled. over off the table he had chilly on his. face next thing you know I didn't see. the police behind us they were sitting. right there the other booth. damn sir put your hand behind your back. I don't know what's going on N I'm. sitting there in the ho to sell and. that's when my [ __ ] came out you know I. ain't no gangster Niger I just you know.

I just a fighter I ain't going to let. you jump me cuz I when he kind got up I. kind of figured he was going to try to. something yeah so you know I protect. myself and but look I'm sitting old self. crying I was like I was like man just. call don't call my mama but just tell. her I'm all right and I was scared of. death but my phone my cell phone. rain and I would thank God for Sprint. that day cuz usually drop call you know. and uh uh and it was Ricky Smiley and.

they seen Ricky Smiley you know Ricky. Smiley so they you know he had got a. name down there and he said yeah Ricky. smile Ricky Smiley keep calling you and. I was like oh man and he said man we. ain't really see what happened the. police just brought it in cuz they. thought y'all was just disrupting pce we. can let you out of here if you going to. calm down says you know Ricky Smiley I. said and he said he could bouce for me. that I'm good person right he cuz he. didn't know where I was he so so rck. said man if you if I if I buy you a.

ticket to come to Birmingham you can. make this. $1,500 and you know you going come said. [ __ ] hell yeah and Ricky Smiley flew me. down there and it wasn't even a sold out. show Ricky paid me $1500 come down there. do his show and I and I appreciate Ricky. SM because I got my $1,500 that I lost. down there I got it in one night right. one show and and I and I always love. that dude for that I always love that. dude for that. the 82 game preseason is in the books. and it's finally time for the real. season don't miss out on any NBA playoff.

action at DraftKings sports book and. official sports betting partner of the. NBA from the playin tournament through. the finals draftking Sportsbook has you. covered with same game parlays live. betting odds boost and much more. download the draftking Sportsbook app. use code Shannon new customers can bet. $5 and get 200 in bonus bets instantly. Bast the code Shannon only on DraftKings. the crown is yours how did you find your. wife because you're famous you're F. people know your face like you said.

there's a difference between me being a. being a football player wearing a helmet. wearing a uniform and people seeing my. face on digital or linear television. they see your face she question is how. you find your lady all them nasty ass. parties you went to I ain't go to no. party I ain't no party damn lie sh sh. boy come on bro I ain't no party you you. ain't going to no booty party my brother. he played for Falcons for about about. about about about a year and a half and. he told me about the party said he got.

to go to he got a new life and. everything he started talking [ __ ] up. to me with a light skinned. woman so I know you went you ain't got. you ain't got no party no I ain't no. party I'm a. homebody okay I hear you you put. everybody else dirty laundry out here I. ain't put nobody laundry your ass up. here trying to tell you ain't going to. no part I ain't go to no okay all. right but see me this a different you. see up here must bound football player.

you got rings and [ __ ] white girls on. your ankles I know you had about I know. you let ask you a question can I ask you. a question hey hey white dude do you. think he has some white. women see thank you very much you know. you had why people think I only date. white women what I say you only date. white women but white women come and. clutch on to a mus bound [ __ ] with a. career. you and ain't no judgment either they.

they go out they see the gold M but I. ain't always I ain't always have muscles. though well [ __ ] you had athletic. system you you always been a big [ __ ]. you the biggest goddamn tight ass in the. game [ __ ] the [ __ ] you I've always been. I know you you you born like that nigg. [ __ ] [ __ ] in Georgia come right out. the dirt like. that everybody babies come out with. muscles in Georgia how did you know know. your wife was the one when you met. her so weird you ask that question I I.

was in Georgia okay you know and they. had you remember the Browner brother. hair show yes I do yeah I was down there. doing the show for the Browner brother. hair show now I was the feature comedian. they had like Rob man uh you know Rob. man I do know R man uh Pat Brown they. had all these comedians on the show. Damon Williams we was all on the show. but the lady come up to me say I'm. paying you the most money you better. keep it clean and I was just like what.

keep it clean everybody going cuz Ry man. out there talking about washing your. coochie and all this [ __ ] and then she. telling me to keep it clean and I'm like. why this lady being mean to me so I said. okay I can do clean but she had so many. comedians on the show by the time I got. up people were walking out on me right. walking out of and I was just like oh. man I'm eating it I'm eating it you know. it but I didn't know it was when in the. morning being a comedian I ain't give a. [ __ ] I see a crowd out there 1:00 in the. morning I don't care so whatever the.

case may be I got done with the show and. I was like man I'm getting the [ __ ] out. of here you know I'm mad and [ __ ] you. ever seen uh Purple Rain prin perform. and he he he thought he did bad and he. started turning up the room and then. said Prince they loving you you know. like that it was like 200 people wanted. to see me out there so I go back out. there and this one woman she she had on. blue blue jean blue jean jacket that's. why I called her blue jean she had blue. jean pants on she had her hair tied over.

the side and she was just hanging out. and she came up she said I want a. picture with her I and she said I want a. picture with you can I get a picture I. said sure and she whisper in my ear. talking about where you standing at and. I was like slow down. girl I stand the. high yeah hey look I ain't even I said I. told her though I told I told her I said. I'm at the holiday is l i a telling my. room just in case she was a serial. killer you know but the strange enough.

she was standing me and Tony Roberts we. was we went over to eat at the Denny's. at the days in where she was standing at. she wind up lying and saying that she. was my wife and she need to leave me a. message on my hotel phone so you know. speaking things of existence we started. talking and man we would be on the phone. for hours all the time but man we it. wasn't always Topsy Turvy you know but. you know I she was beautiful man when I. saw off man she was gorgeous and I was. just I couldn't believe she really. wanted to be man cuz I was 550 then you.

understand yeah but I was fly though. [ __ ] yeah don't wild we. wild you see that wild [ __ ] that was too. much wild for that. wow wow hold on hold on but I was fly I. had on my leather trench jacket and I. had my hat. on Le yes [ __ ]. a. stop might be just one fat cow but but I.

got it in I got it in uh uh uh. Sacramento okay and it was like the big. and tall you know you go to Big and Tall. the right time in places where it's warm. you can find oh the best leather they. had the best place had a California big. and tall up there I used to come to. California for that only they had all. the [ __ ] but anyway so we just started. talking every day man we had our ups and. down house and all that stuff but she. was just in my life and and you know the.

thing about it was this woman got in my. life she made me better cuz she made me. be accountable for everything she. brought my son into where I had two kids. she had two kids when I met her and they. were great kids they fell in love with. me we had a we had a down point but I. knew once I was on last kind of standing. I thought I going to blow up but I. wasn't feeling I felt empty if I blow up. and don't have nobody to share share. with because you know that's when you. you can be single all the way up to when. you start making it when you start.

making you need to find that right some. share with yeah you need to find it and. uh and and I realized we I made up with. it we worked it out we we we had some we. had some trials trust me marriage ain't. always easy but I ain't easy to get. along with and I sure she ain't but we. worked it out and we we made a beautiful. thing we made some beautiful kids we we. fell in love and man my since I've been. my wife I've Advanced more I slim down.

we own property we own businesses we we. U you know we we we just gradua into. bigger and better things every day she. make me better I make her better so is. that would that have been possible. without her in your life do you think. you could have been where you are now. without her by your side without her. supporting you and giving you offering. you an encouragement because like you. said achieving all these are single is. one thing but once you get to a certain. level you want someone to come home to.

and share that with. right I I think it still might have been. attainable but it would but I I don't. thinky and the thing about it I I don't. think I think I I I messed up a lot with. with the money you know I hustled all I. knew was Hustle Hard right I didn't know. how people get mad at Donald Trump for. knowing how to get out his taxes see all. tax I knew was HR Block and I didn't. even and my mama took one she learned. she took one class and she thought she.

was a Tax Advisor and she was giving me. bad advice that's so I didn't know how. to right put my money right when you. start making real money that one thing. Puff Daddy said that more money more. problem is that you you got to learn how. to put your money to manage it and I. mean God blessed me always to get money. I mean I always have money but it's like. you got to atone for your money in. America and uh uh so with her we started. she told me put everybody on payroll she.

told me we we I put her on payroll we. was able to get houses because when your. credit good but you got IRS problem you. can't get hous and we we buil we built. all this together man and it's just. getting better and better every day I. got my children are good my son went. from regular school to private school we. life is you know life is good with her. it's it's better we eat better you know. I cuz I think I probably be there with a. heart attack right by now cuz I was. going to eat something with cheese on it.

I sure going to stay with some fried. food I gave her pork I gave her all that. you gave her pork I been gave her pork I. been gave her pork me too I gave her. pork I don't eat nothing I you know. nothing with pork in it like pork chop. pork loin okay but you know pepperoni. you eat ham pepperoni ham bacon you. don't start with. pork that's a that's that's a black. answer there because you know b b por I. a know that I'm the only pork chop pork.

LA but you know my my white Grandmama. right we was down there you know she fix. food right and it was like poror chop I. said man' I'm sorry I don't eat pork she. said you don't eat pork yeah H yeah. that's something that's interesting so. y'all don't eat pork do you eat. ham I said no. ma'am and she look she got mad at me. like pork ain't no hand it was say pork. I but that's what it is but what is a.

hamburger what that's beef I'm now. you're confusing me now now we went all. into but it was you know yeah I I gave. it up a long time ago man and uh I once. I found out about I would like to give. up meat but I can't you know I can't I I. go without it I didn't fast being a big. brothers and you ask me about I didn't. fast it 25 days no food just liquid for. 25 days two times three. times I I didn't eat nothing and I you.

know and I felt good. though my head was clear everything it. was different and but now since I had a. weight loss surgery I can't do it like I. used to you know like because it's like. man you know I only have but a third of. my stomach why I got to give up food. give up eat nothing but but but. sometimes if you notice when you're sick. or you're going through something and. you can't eat your body healing so. sometimes you got to let your body heal. and sometimes you don't eat to heal cuz.

sometimes your body over here eating. this trying to break this down and get. this out of you it can't come over here. and fight this over here so that's where. lot of people getting their getting. their problems with yeah I I gave up. pork so like one weekend out the month. and two weeks out the year I don't eat. no pork you don't eat no pork what you. eat. then chicken okay chicken turkey yeah. okay I mean you know it's not what she.

how how you how you cuz meat what never. in the Bible they said your meat would. be nuts and and berries and fruit it. wasn't really supposed to be meat but we. had dominion over every everything so. you know I just pray put it in Jesus. hand I I said I love meat CU it be so. delicious the way you can do it now yeah. and that herir fry pimp oh I got two of. them big D on too. I heard I read what your wife say she. don't want you under 220 say she married. she married she married a bear not a.

buddy well I can't quote her on that but. she said she don't want you she don't. want me too small she said but at one. point in time you look like you were. smaller than I mean man you look you. look really small you like about 195 no. I I got I think the smallest I got down. to is like I I did get down to like uh. about 270 2 two 270 I got close to 260 I. got down because I'm like I'm fluctuate. between 298 right now you know and it's.

cool because that's that you know I look. good in my car I mean from from 550 to. to under three yeah yeah yeah you know. but but when I was wearing 550 I can. bench 450 I was strong as [ __ ] but but. but La how did you get I mean how were. you able to move around at that I mean. normally people that weigh that much I. must have been from Georgia. because you know Midwest boys I mean we. did you know you was that big yeah when. I walk past a mirror and [ __ ].

be looking at you you know you know you. that big when kids keep looking at you. they try not to look at you they looking. at you like this any what you looking. at and some kids don't give a [ __ ] Mama. what's. that you know you be when the lady come. and grab her kid come here come here. before he bites you what the [ __ ] I'm. not going to bite your child but but no. I yeah I always knew uh I I was be. because people let you know you you a. can never all you got to do is know how.

fast you is go to the doctor the doctor. that you know before I can even get in. door I ain't I made the appointment on. the phone well I just know you GNA have. to cut back hold on man you don't even. know what the [ __ ] I look like I I can. tell about your voice that you heavy as. hell but yeah I I always knew I be I I. mean you know and I but I I I I wore I. moved I W well man I dude I mean you. know I never really thought my brother. say this all the time he got a small man.

mentality he don't think he he be moving. he light on his feet you can't hear that. [ __ ] walk in that [ __ ] sneak up on the. sandwich you don't even know he there. right he he like you real quiet man I. mean but you know cuz lot Big Brother. you've been the NFL and what was his. name uh Eric Richards what's his name. Eric Rich that big old Lin that ran down. he ran down the wide receiver remember. that oh you talk about uh uh Larry Allen. ran down the Larry Allen did it and it. was another cat too I remember that big. overline that [ __ ] weigh about 400 lb.

he ran that little L backing down on. that interception I mean he I mean it's. it's it's it's your frame of mind right. because you know when you some big. brother you see big brothers out of them. two fat twins the Mexican twins that can. dance I mean it ain't never if you hold. yourself back that's when you become. heavy you know I don't I don't really. think it stop you from doing anything. you want to do never no I mean cuz you. like you have me f question I mean the. elephant in the room but you know I. think I carry myself you know in a my a.

mind frame that man I'm a bad [ __ ] you. know I matter yeah and on stage I really. carried it like off stage I might come. into this the world of sympathy and like. well I have to be this but you but you. ain't show it no no no you would never. see it I'm you know I you know I always. have on my fighting face when your wife. recorded you snoring and you heard. it what he like man I got to do. something about was that was was that a.

part of the that she didn't record me. snor but she she kept waking me the [ __ ]. up that's what that's what you know and. and I mean you know I didn't you got C. pack now hell no I lost weight I don't. snow as much no more okay I don't snow. as much no more I saw took some weight. off I don't SN you know you still have. your moments but you know I don't snow. like I used to I mean you know you know. I think I snore when I wear if you eat. late right and some of times you eat. late your ass will snore you know cuz.

your body trying to break [ __ ] down let. me ask you this I had a cth but it was. like sleeping in the hurricane that [ __ ]. wasn't cool it was it was loud my my son. was a little kid he thought I was an. astronaut he said oh I want to go to. space too I said here take this in your. room that [ __ ] slept all. night how might need to get me one of. them do they work what the sead yeah. hell no I don't like I hate that [ __ ] I. I too much wind blowing on me I'm not a. I don't like that blowing in my face I'm.

have to get me one dog but you have to. sleep on your back I sleep on my back I. said I can't sleep on my back you can't. I can't why you always like feel. something under you no I like to I have. to sleep on my side don't you just with. the lady on sleep on no no no I need to. sleep on my side you sleep on your side. I do well I sleep on my side but I had. to sleep on my right side cuz I sleep on. my well I sleep yeah I sleep on my left. side cuz my right side always have night. farts Lord have mercy you don't you.

don't fall in your sleep I'm sleep I. would no but I yes you do you. do mying woke me up but I but I I but I. I don't eat late I don't eat after like. 7 o'clock it don't matter night farts. come when they want to sometimes farts. just come out. because it's bored inside you I'm I'm. nutritious okay what you what you think. is healthy did you eat uh [ __ ] I seen. what she eat so let me see no I eat. baked chicken I eat chicken I eat uh. turkey I eat ground beef first of all.

you not one vegetable in that M but I. got ruffies I'm tell you about the Ruff. I'm going tell you about the Ruff I eat. broccoli I eat sweet potatoes I eat. Brussels sprout I a I eat green beans I. eat salad mostly with kale but do you. eat mostly what you eat most of chicken. or uh but I get ruffage I make sure I. get my plenty of ruffage yeah do you do. you eat a whole salad without have you. ever eat salad for a meal. no hell no you Ain never had one of meal. maybe like like maybe a little bit like. slice of chicken and then it's just yeah.

I try to but but see I got to eat an ex. amount I'm trying to eat like every meal. I'm trying to eat like and I try to eat. like five six times a day I'm trying to. get somewhere between 5 and 600 calories. of meal oh yeah okay well I mean you. know that's cool 5 600 calories of meal. yeah so you say about 25 I'm trying to. get like 3,000 3500 so then you work out. how much you work out a day uh uh about. 45 minutes LIF you lift a car like for. 45 minutes no I don't lift no cars I I.

don't I don't live like I used to cuz I. don't need to be that big anymore yeah. yeah what you what you what you what you. uh what you curl what you what you curl. I don't do no curls cuz I'm trying you. know I don't need you know she she she. don't need to be about 125 pound that's. e the Cur you know you. know you you do you do the kettle bell. yeah I used to do kettle bell kettle. bells you do the dumbbells yeah he don't. do no bench I I I haven't done I haven't. done a barbell bench in a long time I. kind of tweaked my pick but I think I. want to get back because my I don't feel.

I don't my muscles don't feel the same. texture yeah is what I'm doing the how. old are you I'll be 56 in June okay we. You Got Me by I'll be 56 in November so. yeah when you get to a certain age it's. like man you you start feeling that you. you grown because I used to put that. boom boom I put that weight up like it. ain't nothing I'm still strong but far. as putting the weight up I had to you. know had to figure it out cuz one day I. was in the gym my brother and he had to. help get this [ __ ]. off like oh my God I'm a grown man right.

but I'm looking at you you said you had. the surgery because of your kids you. didn't want to be a quote dead beat dead. in real life uhhuh you mentioned earlier. that you know you start having kids and. like man I want to play with my kids I. want to be here for them I want to see. my grandkids was that probably one of. the main determining factors of why you. did what you did. with part of it but also I I I said I. love me so why don't I treat me a little.

better okay you know what I'm saying you. know because you. know I I think Le is a good dude right. you know and people come around me the. energy that they get from me is always. oh man that's my man bill you know if. you hate on me it's just because you. hate yourself and I try to you know but. but I love me so I said man you know I. want to do something solid for myself. cuz if I you can't you know you have you. ever had something you you you had to.

you kept living with and you want to get. out of it for a while and you say man. what I what can I do to get out of it. that that's that's how the weight was. you know just kind of trim it down I. didn't want to be skinny or nothing like. that just feel healthy where where like. I get on the plane I can sit in the seat. put the seat Bel on no problem like I do. now I feel better like I I did a video. on Southwest when I was able to do that. again and I said I said a few years ago. it kicked me off the plane with two now. I can put the SE Bel and things like.

that you know just feeling like sitting. in the booth at a restaurant like. sometimes I had to watch what I ate at. the restaurant cuz if I sit in that. Booth I could get in but I might not get. out especially the ones that don't move. right exactly you know what I'm saying. so you know and then like part about. being a dead be. Dad see the guy I was talking about my. dad the dude who I thought was my father. mhm kind of found out we had a big. argument he wrote me a letter told me. that he really was my daddy so he did a.

so he told you that after an argument. yeah yeah we we know cuz he really. wasn't in our life we had just got back. in touch with each other okay and me and. my sister then we all started. celebrating us being together but then. he started acting fun he couldn't find. out you know he was wind up he one of. his things was he was a homosexual you. know he was he he was a biosexual with. my mom but he knew he he always knew he. was gay right and when we got back in. his life we found that he had married a. man and all this [ __ ] and but you know I.

didn't give a [ __ ] about that I said man. my dad around I just didn't know if the. gay part was hereditary I said man I got. to get in shape because you know most. gay dudes are really in good shape you. know you know and if I'm GNA be in the. gay world I don't want to get turned. down by them as much as I got turned. down by women but you know but it but. the thing about it was you know I. embraced that but then he stopped coming. around you know I had to step in and be. the man in my house you know I paid for. both my sister's wedding I paid for my. mom's SI wedding I did all this stuff to.

you know become the man and be there for. my sister protect him and I and I took. his job you know this pissed me off. because he you know you know like but. then he stopped coming around we would. go down to Florida where he Liv and he. would he wouldn't come come come around. no more I guess he got a new person or. whatever I don't know what happened but. I wrote him a text message I said man we. just got back in each other's life and. now you want to act [ __ ] funny I mean. you never was around I mean when we come.

down to your city you could at least. come down and you know and I just went. off and then he said well let me share. something with your ass he you know and. he sent me this whole certified letter. telling me that my mama was. pregnant before before when he went off. to college and came back she was. pregnant and he he was still a virgin so. he don't know how she got pregnant. conception and I said you're a damn lie. you trying to call my mama a ho he said. I ain't calling her a ho but I know she.

knows some. people you know so so uh so the long. long short of it I said well we need to. prove it you know I'm going fly down. there we going to go go to a blood test. but he he was like no that [ __ ] big he. he want to whoop my ass I don't want to. see him in person cuz I don't want him. to go down like that cuz he you know so. we did a swab you know and we got to. test back and it was crazy it was like a. movie I'm trying to write the story now. that you know I was Sting up and I get. the results when I'm at the alop with my.

mom she sitting right across me and I. had the phone on speaker I had to turn. it off off speaker cuz the lady was the. fraternity tell I ain't want my mom to. hear this [ __ ] so I said yeah go on tell. me tell me what I need to know and she. going to say Well when it comes down to. D was just like the more post you could. with more y'all about to say that yeah. she said she said he said for d for your. father that you talk was your father. 00000000000000 .1 that he ain't my dad.

and I was like holy [ __ ] and I'm looking. at my mom like what the [ __ ] why you. didn't tell me and I and then then I. finally confront confronted her you know. women always want to cry out of some. [ __ ] the situation like he's lying I. said he ain't lying I got the [ __ ] right. here you know I wasn't mad at her I was. like own up to it I wasn't going I love. my mama she been she was there for me. from the GetGo cuz no matter what she's.

still your mom she mama you know it. ain't that she thought it was going to. change our relationship which I don't. think it did but I know but when I got a. wife of course it was going to change. some kind of substance but I just. couldn't believe that she wasn't trying. to own up to it then she finally owned. up to her it took her forever to ask me. who my father was and I gave she gave me. the a little bit of information and I. took it I had a friend who I my one my. jju uh Professor he was a private eye. one time he took that little information.

that this lady found cuz I was on a. podcast she went on Truth find and found. all stuff so I sent it to him he went. and find out where he live and. everything and he lo and behold he was. still living in St Louis all this time. all the time I was there he was in St. Louis he had three other he had three. other kid had a Chinese daughter half. Chinese daughter he had two other sons. that live right around the corner from. me wow at one time and I said this [ __ ]. been in St Louis all this time he is the. grand champion of hide hide and go.

seat cuz I never saw him right but it. was so weird you know that when I met. him and I wrote him a letter and told. him who I was and I said I don't want. nothing from me I said I'm a Child of. God I and I thank God that I found out. who he is he put to glue it glued my. life together and I just want to say hey. man if you ever want to me let me know. this man I gave him my number this man. called me and he was so excited to find. out who I was find out that he was my.

father and he didn't know who I was as. an Entertainer at that time he just. found just found that out later but he. was so he was so wonderful giving me so. many. inspiring uh words and everything just. like and know but he wasn't the greatest. guy because my other brothers didn't. like him because he wasn't in their life. and all but for some reason he got older. and he can try to change his life cuz he. was a rolling stone right and God gave. him a stroke so he can stay around so I.

can get to know him it was crazy he got. a stroke like like three days after we. talked he got a stroke so he couldn't. leave St Louis so I can meet him cuz if. you never had that stroke that. [ __ ] would have left you know. you never got a chance to meet never got. to meet him but so crazy is man we see. each other and he's he he's always cool. and you know and I be in his life you. know just talking to him everyone I call. and see how he doing and he lived a hell. of a life he was used he used to be a he.

was a chief of police in St Louis he. also was head of security for Camala. Harris at one time and everything so. it's it's you know that's but but when I. went all through that I would never let. my child go through that with me he. gonna know his daddy he if if I ain't. [ __ ] he going he going know you a't he. say my daddy ain't [ __ ] but I know where. he is he on the couch in the K right the. role of Breaking Bad how did you land in. that. role it was it was crazy you know I.

don't know like when you followed your. dream like football what was your. expectations of what was your. expectation me lville I'll be honest the. only thing I ever wanted to do it's the. only thing that I ever ever wanted to do. in life was to play professional. football and get my family my. grandmother mainly out of the. environment that we grew up in okay that. was the tonal Vis I don't I don't. multitask very well okay what I do well. I'm great at but I don't do a whole lot. so I had a tal Focus [ __ ] you you do.

multitask because I'm G tell you why I. think you multitask why you think. because you I us to see you talk right. on on shows and stuff and I was like. that [ __ ] be lisping and spitting and. [ __ ] I that [ __ ] drowning [ __ ] in. that interview but what was powerful. about it was you practice Yeah you you. you focus and a person that go through. something like that you really you know. that's what I do I I I'm I'm not the. smartest man in the world but I I focus. in on what I want and that's what you do.

and that's and I like before we even did. this intervie I see you PR you was doing. that and I was like and I know it's. because you that and you got them new. teeth I got them fancy teeth it's hard. to talk with them damn teeth I won't. give me some of them damn teeth [ __ ]. I'm down I I got to use my my my biters. for chewers so I need I need I need. I need to get my [ __ ]. together but but on that aspect of that.

you are multi you just you can't say. that that ain't you we we all are black. men are that because we have to right. cuz not the say no other race does that. but I'm just saying when you out here we. we we you you on a teetering tight rope. as a black man being in the media cuz. social media became the in information. railroad of everything now it's what our. our our celebrities come to is what our.

presidents and politicians come on the. podcast more than they come on anything. else now so and you have to almost edify. your words yes instead of you can't. always can't always say what you really. want to say you want to really say some. [ __ ] but you can't so you're you're. you're doing something that's very tough. and you know cuz like I I got I'm doing. a podcast I'm going to do [ __ ] that I. like like fishing and I ain't going to. talk about controversial [ __ ] because I. don't want to be on that thing because a.

lot of people say man you we need you. know y'all need to stand up for black. people blah blah blah I say shut the. [ __ ] up cuz a lot of times I said you. can stand up for your people and I love. my black people like like no other. brother but when you stand up for. somebody most the time you stand alone. and ain't nobody there to take you take. you on they don't even remember what you. did they brag on MAR Lu King that he got. killed come on man when we going to get. it together for each other why I got to. always be why I can't be my media and.

have fun meeting great guests that I. respect and Revere and give them a. platform to talk to but I got to step up. and be be the voice of the people I'm. not going to do it right I don't care I. mean I I love y'all but man y'all going. to have to come with me every time I do. something yall got to do I don't care we. get locked up we get locked up together. I Ain no snitch on me I will snitch on. you unless you Ain around then I'm. snitch on your ass but but but on that. aspect of of Breaking Bad every.

opportunity I I would give because I'm. going tell you something when you. talking about how you. practice I I come from Old School where. you read you read and you you understand. stuff I would never I never was a a. dummy but I learned different right and. I learn and I and I found my strengths. off of normal stuff that I didn't think. was something I want to do but I started. reading. because I used to go and do a audition. and I would read the script like I think. it's written and I look like I can't.

talk right I look like I because I mean. I I go through the same thing people. hear my voice how raspy it is and deep. it is I hear people always say I can't. understand everything he say but he's. funny you know I be like why you can't. understand what everything I say I'm. talking to you right now you understand. but but people say that because it's. hard it's just like music when you when. you're in a rhythm every everybody don't. get they get the beat but they don't get. the song right you know understand so. when I landed I got to do these audition.

I kept on I kept I got jaded I didn't. want to I didn't want to do no more. auditions man I said man maybe acting. ain't for me right you know what I'm. saying because they you get turned down. so man it's like and then I don't mind. getting turned down if if I win one but. I wouldn't winning nothing I wasn't. getting nothing commercial I went up for. a hamburger commerci I said who else. could do a Burger King uh cars Jun. commercial of me they put Paris Hills. and eat a damn cars junor Superstar I.

eat the Superstar why I ain't doing a. superstar commercial I I get one I got. one in the car right now right but they. wouldn't do give me the commercial so. when I got called for that I got a new. management agency and they said hey the. they got a audition I had just got out. the road you know comics comics job man. we travel we be on a road you know much. what do you what do you do 100 shows a. year [ __ ] I probably do 150 what so that. mean you only there only 52 weeks in the.

year yeah [ __ ] and so that means you do. if we do three shows on Friday three. shows on Saturday you got to count all. them damn shows you do three sh yeah. when they sell when the veil hot he hot. baby yeah yeah I mean [ __ ] my man say. sometimes four yeah sometimes it's four. it is because I do two on Thursday and. then it be three on Friday and prob a. MAA show a Regular Show then we do the. third show and then we do the late show.

and then we do three shows on Sunday so. you got to count you got to add that. [ __ ] up so you you so you might be doing. you might be doing 200 shows pretty much. pretty much I'm I'm out there getting it. hey I got M. Fe private schools of pay for and a. beautiful wife to keep happy right and a. lifestyle to maintain a lifestyle to. maintain and thing about it is yes yes. and so when you get done with that you. come home dude I mean when I was living. out here that's why I moved to Texas cuz.

when I used to come I fly from let's say. I fly from Birmingham Alabama got to do. a connection and fly 6 hours back across. the country all the way back to LA get. off the plane my wife come pick me up. riding in traffic for three hours got to. get something to eat I lay down for a. little bit had to probably take Junior. to school go take care of stuff from. next day groceries whatever and [ __ ] by. look up it's. Thursday out playing again so it's kind. of like it was it was one of them things.

but I had to do it I understood what I. was doing it became a procedure but then. when I got that audition he called me to. come in I saying man can they just. postpone to tomorrow I said well you got. to go in for this man it's a good road. man we got they they can't do tomorrow I. say [ __ ] I get there there three. brothers sitting there and I was going. for Lucius the tow truck driver right. and I said you know but I got in there. and you know and it was one of them. things cuz I said I always want to do an. audition like when they see.

me where you been all my life you know. what I'm saying that's what I always see. them cartoons and TV shows like that. because they said that's how Evis. Presley got recognized he was at a gas. station he was fill up say I want to win. this. race boy you got a good voice on you get. in the car we're going to go to. Hollywood you know right so I always. thought making it is like that so when I. went in there for Lucy the truck driver. I did this rooll good and everything and. the guy say. Hey you think you mind read another.

script and I was like okay he gave me a. script it had one line on it one. freaking line he said it said weird. cloes he said can you say that in the. camera weird closed weird clothes and. the dude looked at me and said can you. start Wednesday I said what the [ __ ] you. talking about can I start wed for the. truck drive he said no for the for the. security guard and I said security guard.

I got to play a security guard not. knowing that this security guard was a. prolific character in this show right. and I got on probably one of the best. dramas ever to be written to me I know. they say The Sopranos but Breaking Bad. is a a vehicle entity in his own self. and parlay in better call S and the. crazy thing about better call S. what inspired me see cuz like you like I. said being a fighter dude you know. Breaking Bad was so big but dude hit me.

up on Facebook talking about hey man you. was great and Breaking Bad like that he. said but I'mma play when they come out. with the spinoff on better car saw I'mma. play. you better shape I'mma I'mma play you. better shape when you know the younger. here and I said [ __ ] I'mma lose the. weight so I can play said man ain't no. way you going to be able to lose that. much weight to play that role and that's. right why you said I was smaller niggaer. I had that weight loss surgery brother I.

slam the [ __ ] down and I I got lost so. much damn weight that they literally. said man he don't look like the H we we. know in love be still here right we. going to put a fat suit on him but I. said man you ain't got to do that by the. grace of God they already filmed my role. because I want to show I wanted whoever. that son [ __ ] was on Facebook said that. I wanted to see me and say God damn that. [ __ ] did it cuz I remember you know uh. I don't compare myself to robero but.

Robin nuro he gained weight to be uh be. Al uh what's it what his name albertino. not not albertino what Capone yeah. Capone he gained weight to be Capone and. I mean then he lost weight to to play. Rocky mon I was I think yeah but he had. lost weight got he he knew how to do it. so I said I guess to do oh I think he. play Ra you talking about ra. yeah yeah yeah yeah but yeah but see but. but when I did it man I won a sag award. yeah yeah I gotu acting I walked right.

past Oprah just say in your face Oprah I. walked up to uh uh joh Forest Whitaker. and I pointed to his good eyes look here. [ __ ] so how how did how did Breaking. badge how did. that launch you in the in the comedic. space because this is a like a different. audience so when you do jokes when you. tell jokes do you tell jokes according. to the audience or you just like I got. this set I got I wrote this set and I'm.

telling this set tonight no matter who. the audience is oh yeah I just do what I. want to do right I don't I don't it. don't do don't they don't the audience. don't T dictate me you can't see me you. going you in my house right and you. going to laugh right and a lot of people. didn't even know I was a comedian from. breaking bad they didn't know they. thought I was an actor but when they see. me oh my God and then and a lot of. people break bad yeah they'll come to. the show because they Breaking Bad fans. they ain't coming to the show because. cuz I'm cuz I'm uh but it gave you.

crossover yeah oh man man I dude I leave. a show like we've been doing a tour this. the craziest [ __ ] that happened this son. [ __ ] called my wife talking about I'm a. Breaking Bad fan uh Lille Crawford is. coming to New Orleans I I need to get an. autograph picture because you let him. know and first of all I don't know how. some [ __ ] got my number so I had to get. my [ __ ] private and my wife was scared. like like how do he get my number and I. was like Boo I don't know and it was it.

stress me out so I had my brother check. his ass saying he was from Homeland. Security. right but then he came he came he he was. sitting out there after the show and I. said was you the [ __ ] to call my. wife he said uh yes sir I'm s by mistake. I said you're a damn lie [ __ ]. you a do it by mistake you ever call. anybody in my family again trust me I. know what you look like I come down here. and I'll burn your [ __ ] house down I. ain't playing with you now you can love.

my show the show I'm on you could have. called me if I ain't answer you wait. outside if you want autograph you don't. call my family they don't have [ __ ] to. do with this right I said man I blow the. world up for my family dog I said you. don't want to play with me I am not the. one and the thing I Ain I ain't the. baddest [ __ ] in the world but I'm a. Fool though you understand and so but. but it was just crazy that he did that. because people I mean they be at the. airport in bagage CLA I don't be knowing. that how they know that how they do ever.

had that yes I seen one time you snapped. on [ __ ] what you got the camera on. for [ __ ] oh that's when I got the dog. at I'm met International Airport nobody. knows that I'm coming I'm like so it he. might have been looking for someone else. and he was just so Random no no no no no. no no no no no no he knew your ass was. coming he did how you think [ __ ]. TMZ and all them the thing Lille that I. was going to meet the lady because she. was bringing a. dog I didn't I I didn't I didn't I.

wasn't going to catch the flight I was. just showing up how many mustb [ __ ]. with sweaters. on walking in looking like you [ __ ] and. they see you you get out of car you come. out the car you got to get out and. stretch you get out and you then you got. a little ass puppy in your hand what. kind of dog was it Pomeranian oh man. what you get you you like little dog I. do you got big dog I do what kind of dog. you got a borbo oh yeah you got one them. African sou African Master oh man I seen.

one of them I was getting some weed at. the weed house and I mean that some. [ __ ] stood like that I mean oh my God a. year old he about. 175 man I I want one of them Kango okay. you say they they kill wol yeah but but. yeah that's a nice dog they they they. they fight lons you know that oh they. great I love it he got he got great he's. smart too very and it's good you got the. little dog cuz see you want that see. people don't know this about animals you.

get your little dog for the bark you get. your big dog for the bitee yeah you. understand and people don't know that. say they see that little dog there oh. [ __ ] that little dog but they come in. that [ __ ] house the dog that little. dog worn the big dog and he worn you yes. oh the big one I ain't worried about. nobody coming in the big one yeah quick. math the less your business spends on. operations multiple systems and. delivering your product or service the. more Mar you have and the more money you. keep but with higher expenses on. materials employees distribution and. boring everything cost more so to reduce.

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37,000 companies have already made the. move so do the math and see how you'll. profit with netw Suite by popular demand. netw has extended its one-of aind. flexible financing program for a few. more weeks head to netsuite.com. sh you did meet the blacks I mean you. got Mike Els Mike Tyson Snoop Dog. Charlie Murphy Paul Mooney what is it. like working on a set with a group of. comedians that's as talented as these. guys do y'all tell jokes or y'all y'all.

like y'all like y'all chill no [ __ ] we. always talking [ __ ] I'm I'm a [ __ ]. talker I I don't play man I I have fun. with my friends Mike my boy I knew Mike. before he had money you understand the d. d little doball threaten to beat me up. and he weigh eight pounds I said what. size you going to beat up [ __ ] I said I. said you you you ain't big as my balls I. put my dick on you talking about you got. a little dick I said it's little on me. if I put it on you you down lack of.

blood. [ __ ] He he'll tell you I told that. thing he he can do nothing left I said. dude you hit me all day I won't even. feel it come on dog I mean that's that. threaten me I'm not scared of you right. he he you know but that's that big man. mentality little man have but big man. you know but but no man we have a ball. man you know I mean Mike Tyson wasn't.

there when I was there you know cuz I. met Mike a long time ago Mike seen me on. stage one night I ain't never seen Mike. Tyson he one of the bad [ __ ] world but. he seen me light a [ __ ] up in the. audience and Mike Tyson literally act. like he was scared of me he was said we. on the elevator and I say hey Mike how. you doing like H LEL and he stepped back. he St back from me he he he he he he. want to be said man I love you dude but.

but it was funny but no I I didn't see. him but Charlie Murphy I met him way. back when he was doing a tour everybody. on there man we just talk [ __ ] Gary. Owens M blackon we was all on there we. was just having fun me and Gary went to. the casino and they dinner you know it's. just you know K comedians are so much on. the road it's always good everyone like. right now we at this Netflix Festival. right it's beautiful to see all my. fellow Comics I don't have a beef with.

nobody I love everybody I let you be. yourself CU I don't have to be around. you all day right when I see you man. it's love if you got a problem with me. you just harboring some [ __ ]. because when I see you it's just love. and it's good to see I mean some people. that I don't know no you know cuz I. ain't never met Dave Chael I heard about. I was 22 23 and I heard about this young. 15 year old kid doing joke doing comedy. they said he's a fine and I never got I. till this day I have never met him wow.

you know I ain't never met him but. everybody else like me and Chris Tucker. I remember when Chris Tucker right right. right when he did Friday he we we doing. an audition and that [ __ ] bumped me on. the audition and after the show I cussed. his ass wait a minute man come on man I. ain't mean it I ain't know you was going. up and it was so strange I seen him. right because Kim Co from Living Single. was hosting and she seen him KN I was. supposed to go up we had the same.

manager she GNA bring Chris duck up he. killed the [ __ ] I went up and I I didn't. have one of my favorable sets that's. back when I was young I just moved to LA. it was kind of like scary right I'm. looking at you you was with Adam Adam. Sandler in the movie you had been still. a Terry Cruz Luke Wilson Rob Snider. David Spade Taylor l or Kevin James. Robin Williams was in the movie with him. with Crazy Ones do you I mean like. obviously Adam Sandler is one of the. great and you look at Robin Williams and. you talk about range stand up movies he.

could play any type of role did you take. what did you did you get an opportunity. to like meet those guys and and like. talk have conversation oh yeah like Adam. Santa is so strange about him I used to. say I want to be a Black Adam Santa cuz. I my goal is to get an opportunity to do. a few movies and bring my friends in so. they could eat because you don't get. that opportunity that's what gets me. angry I think that's one of the things. that c had a problem with because you.

know cat cat's a very communal guy yes. he brings like he he like he brought. Mo'Nique on the show after she talked. about he brought her on brought Kevin. hars wife on he bring all he take care. of people and put them on who might not. get those opportunities that that and. see and that that's what I love about. Adam sander Adam Sanda bring all his SN. friend s and then when he when when I. talked about it it's just like speaking. existance he somebody said yeah Adam s. really like you he wants you to be in.

his next movie I'm like Adam Sant I said. man I've been a fan forever and he said. he want you to come over have lunch and. meet him over in Sony I said what man I. got my car shroomed over there right and. I got over there and he came out hey man. how you doing man watch you on there. YouTube man I think I think you're great. man I really want want to be be a part. of my show man are you are you good with. that you [ __ ] yeah I want to be in I'll. be in every damn movie you got you know.

and the thing about it was I keep my. energy good right and I've been blessed. to be in three of his movies man you. know I mean he a have to call I'm sure. it was other big brother but he called. me I we and I I the last one I did was. home team and he wasn't on it but it was. his production but I love him man cuz. Kevin me and Kevin James we got to sit. down and. you know and everything and like Robin. Williams when I did Crazy Ones me and. him sat down he was a Breaking Bad fan. and you.

know he was you it's so weird that he. you know had he died like he did. because being a comedian uh and being in. this world we always think comedians. always funny right but if you ever. remember Smoky Robins on Tears of a. Clown yes uh a lot of us have the Tears. of a Clown because we give so much of. oursel on that stage a funny comedian. he'll go on that stage when he get it. done he's exhausted yeah because because.

he didn't gave them everything he could. when you get I get kep nothing for him. no nothing to make him laugh and it's. good and I one thing I'm learning about. being a comedian is to come and watch a. show and just be a part of the show be a. spectator last night I got to do that. and I got to go see a tribute to sbad. and I watch all my comedian friends do. they thing and I got to see something. that was funny something that was okay. but it was enjoyable you know because. know like when I was at the laugh factor. I couldn't do that because they put me.

on stage after I did the show over the. YouTube theater and I ain't really want. to go up I was just watching young comic. to see where the energy was but the. young comedies that I I was just trying. to tell cuz I wrote a comedy book I. wrote a book you every want to do. standup at 29.99 on Amazon Gabby one you. think I do stand up sure [ __ ] you. hilarious just get up there and just do. speeches [ __ ] up words [ __ ] [ __ ]. that's your. gift that's your GI you'll be fantastic.

man I can do I but you can't get mad. [ __ ] laugh I Can Do I Can Do I. can do comment I mean what uh uh s s. told me I can do it [ __ ] s s don't know. nothing about no com c told me I could. do it too cat [ __ ]. cat man you right he right you know you. probably could though you know you write. for me sure I write for you [ __ ] I. write for you and teach you how to buy.

socks there you go no [ __ ] I mean I. think you'll be great your person you. got a big personality right and I mean. and people going to love you because who. you are you the pro wrestlers do comedy. you some some [ __ ] I tell you who. would have been a hilarious a Stone Cold. Steve Austin because he looks so serious. and if he you some [ __ ] come up here. with some [ __ ] I'm Steve Austin a I. don't have to tell these joke and the. funny thing about Steve Austin he used. to be a pretty boy and then he got his. bald head and he became he became this. tough guy cuz he would never was a tough.

guy but I think he would be hilarious I. mean but I think he'll be good I think. he' be good you just have to find find. your outline and then you can't you got. to jump over that line you you jump over. that line it's hilar cuz you when you be. talking about you want to be with. glorilla then you say you want n that. you a said no about no glor you li you. was on that damn show you said it was oo. single you said you want to give it no. that was somebody else n n you said no I. had glor on the show I know but you said. you liked it I mean she was nice she was.

great but I'm telling you you better get. right with God he coming back I don't. care your muscles ain't going to get you. in the help cuz you talking about yeah I. don't need no good church girl I want me. a freak you don't can't mess with freaks. too much uh Shan you can't can't keep on. Ming freaks I mean you know ain't nobody. going to [ __ ] with no [ __ ] sick [ __ ]. with muscles now you some of them girls. got bacteria now. some of them sit in the tub. some you you got to slow down sooner or. later why do you think you've been able.

to have such crossover appeal cuz I love. I love everybody and I love myself and. people they they they gravitate toward. me I I think I mean I have just as many. nonblack fans I got white because I just. come up there and I be me and I think. that people and I generally just love. what I you know talk about they got even. said like I said with hom I got gay fans. man that love the [ __ ] out of me because. it's just funny I've seen so many uh gay.

women come to the show and stuff and gay. guys and cuz my cousin act actually he. was he was homosexual right and he he. was one of my first supporters my cousin. lont and you know they you know he was. gay he he played he sang he has her like. Prince and he directed choir church so. you know that's that's just gay formul. [Laughter]. and he used to bring when I used to open. mics he used to bring all the gay. friends with he had two dudes that was.

hellified designers right cuz I see them. [ __ ] all the time still I mean the. dude can make suits you know understand. and uh he was like man I remember you. used to do the open mic when me and my. boys coming to the show I said I. remember y ass but they be back go go. keep it down keep it down then other. like man you know them guys cousin. friends you know but they would come and. support me and you know like I said man. I am Tripp out what you do I mean G. people been around forever I don't got.

no Heaven or Hell to put you in right I. mean you know but I know I ain't gay you. know I I love women all day if I was. married my wife I had to step in I had. to be I had to be. you I would eat eat better then but I'm. glad I ain't in that game no more I feel. sorry for you [ __ ] out there out there. chasing them girl I that's why you got. to go work out all the time yeah you. can't even sit down you got to be out. there Chase and have little dog who you. that you that's your dog yeah Oh I.

thought you got that for something no I. had I actually I had I've had uh three I. got three I had three little dogs I had. to put two of them down just put one. down a week ago okay pom is a cool dog. that pomar cost me $1,800 yeah he my son. ass sitting over there right now when he. was like he was in the in the third. grade we was at the house tell this this. a crazy story We with the house I'm in. my office you know working I was on Tom. join the show so I write my script so. I'm in my office know my son come in is.

a dog in the garage there a dog in the. garage I'm thinking it's a pit bull I'm. trying to keep crying cuz I said get in. this house boy you know I he left the. door open he in the house I was like. [ __ ] I'm like oh God my M my wife was. like boo boo boo you got to go sck this. dog is in the house go see what it is. I'm like God damn now I got to be a man. I got to be I got to be Daddy I don't. want to get bit for my damn family like. God one time a squirrel got in the house.

and a squirrel [ __ ] my day up [ __ ] cuz. squirrel squirrel's move like got. Tourette you know what I'm saying. squirel be doing. this you don't know how to you don't. know how to attack the [ __ ] you don't. know the [ __ ] going to run he going to. snap on you I said all right we just let. the door open he finally left and then. he looking in the window at me like yeah. [ __ ] I'll be back but but but back to. this dog story with this dog he was in. the house and I'm freaking like man it's. a pit bull I'm coming in there with a.

bat whiffle ball bat I a even have a. good bat I'm coming where you at Dog I'm. talking [ __ ] coming around the corner. this little [ __ ] ass Pomeranian Little. P look like a big old house shoe just. walking around how he stupid he just. walk around I'm like what is this little. do come here little puss ass dog I said. Bo I said boy what you running front the. dog all of a sudden full circle they. fell in love with the dog they start. they went got a cage for the damn dog. they didn't even black people get a dog. they don't give a [ __ ] who own it was.

they even look at his license they just. it's my dog now God brought him in the. house he got to be they got a C feed him. my roast bee yeah I mean and they named. him changed his name I said he got a. license I'm sure got he BL somebody so I. put I put it on neighborhood you know. just to say I lost dog I took a picture. of he's a sweet dog uh if somebody lost. their dog we found him you're welcome to. come get him so we put him in the backy. yard and whoever the L B was found came.

over our house took him out the damn. gate didn't even say thank you for. finding the damn dog and he came home. and saw that dog was gone this sucker. cried the biggest damn tears I love him. [ __ ] you just met him you just been. around about 2 hours he was I need him I. was like oh man I'm in up here and me. and my wife was going to this Retreat we. and I had I said we take you get a dog.

on Thursday right we went get a dog I. thought it going to be about $200 [ __ ] we. walk in them dogs like a Gucci store. yeah some [ __ ] some [ __ ] I'm look I. had to start looking at they price I. said come here boy let me see I said. 1,500 get your [ __ ] ass back in there. I like [ __ ] these dog even weigh 30 lb. and they was 18 he picked the laziest. son [ __ ] we got that car dog didn't. cost me more money than he did he ain't. protect us from [ __ ] he almost killed me. twice walking down the steps cuz he be.

under my feet damn dog he's a he's a. he's a lobs Ops l ly [ __ ] that's what. I. call stand up how did you get. discovered [ __ ] I don't even know if I'm. discovered yet you discovered I mean. well I mean you know Comic View thank. God for Comic View was your first Big. Break yeah yeah ComEd view was my first. I mean when I got on comed view that's. why when they they saw that brought it. back I I it was excited when I was.

watching BET they had the old ones going. on I said they don't understand how. prolific that was to the urban community. because people thought Death Jam Death. Jam was great because it it was it was. bigger it was too big because it was HBO. but BT was the Netflix of Comedy for for. for cuz it came on every day every day. and these young comgress men These Guys. these guys becoming stars from BET and I. would when I went on there I tore it up.

I was up for the host twice they never. gave it to me never gave it to me I. don't know what that [ __ ] [ __ ] was I. got a half hour special grand stand I de. hu hos one I remember I did it and DL I. killed the crowd and I felt proud of. myself then then DL on there [ __ ] my. name up he going to say put your hands. together for lav Ward and you can if you. watch me I turn around say [ __ ]. Crawford you know cuz he mess my name.

I'm like damn you didn't mess my name up. but but it was just a wonderful time man. cuz that's when all the ComEd some more. uh I mean [ __ ] all Mike f g we all. young jario jario you know uh TB Hearn. you had Tony Rob all these can be Ricky. Smiley you know they everybody got the. host that sucker that hamburger chug. duck yeah and Bruce Bruce Bruce got the. H I said I was mad Bruce got the host I. said well they ain't gonna pick no more.

fat. [ __ ] so Comic View Your Big Break you. go NBC's Last Comic Last Comic s was my. crossover big yeah that's what m now you. household you in everybody's hom oh man. it was so crazy I was in. Beverly Massachusetts and this white F. white lady can stood up look. we love you had a big poster board it. was like six poster boards and just my. name no other comedian that that's when. I knew that I was I was I was a powerful.

comedian I I knew from that I won all. these people's hearts over like that are. there any jokes that you won't say today. that you said maybe 20 years ago are you. afraid of ever slipping up and being. canceled or attempting to be. canceled I he told you I almost got. canceled so-called cancel when I was on. blast right so no I mean cancel my. Netflix. subcription I ain't afraid of being that. that [ __ ] is [ __ ] because I think.

that you I mean a comedian he G like. Dave repel one thing I love about Dave. Dave was pushing the H over people was. getting bored with it but I think he. wasn't doing it because he against. homosexual he was doing it to say man. stop stop we comedians yeah well well. this is a thing that that I I always you. know people people don't want to hear. the truth but I'm going say it the best. way I can in the black community.

homosexuals was loved because they was. in plays being this little gay dude. being girl please girl and they was they. was that they was always funny they even. when they was on shows every movie you. see it homosexual it like I think the. funny one of the funniest movies I've. seen was about gay Roger Moore was in it. uh uh uh uh what's his name. uh no it was called Boat Trip Boat Trip. remember that boat trip with Cuba Gooden. J oh my God the one one of the funn.

movies in the world and it was like they. was on a they they wanted to go on a. boat trip and then they wanted to go on. with girls they want the go got of. switched them put them on this gay. cruise right but it was so funny it was. it was a great it was a great movie but. I was like I said when if you can't. you're not allowing people to laugh at. you and laugh at you and laugh at the. situation how can you love yourself. right because you have to get past any. insecurity you may have yourself if. because but I remember when see this.

world and got weak because when we was. gr up sticks and stones may break my. bones but words can never hurt me I mean. they can't really hurt you if unless you. want them to [ __ ] hurt you I mean. people going to say what they want about. you they talk about Jesus and I love. Jesus they still they try to denounce. that he real they try to say what color. he is they don't people don't even want. to believe in him no more I said man but. when you stop believing him I'm sure he. going to be the only [ __ ] in heaven I'm. I'm sure be enjoying all that [ __ ] but I.

but I I said I think that that no I'm. not worried I I'm not worried like that. because I don't beat up on nobody I mean. you know that ain't my job now if you. say something piss me off trying to mess. me up yes I I'll tear you up that's my. bread and butter let me ask you a. question did you know know that the. comedians you've been in this thing 30. plus years Lille did you know comedians. behind the scene felt this way about. each.

other yeah I mean we human beings I mean. I'm sure I mother got beefs and the more. you know the shameful thing about it is. that bothers me about it like I said. before C made he made he he got he got. he got that real money right I'm going. to tell you something before I move on. with that get some more comfortable. Furniture up in here you look so. uncomfortable comfortable trying to get. up you trying to get on this part of. this [ __ ] you bust your knee on that.

damn no i k no I a hit my knee no no I. know but I I thought you ain't. comfortable you can sco back scool back. and get comfortable like me I was gring. I was going to do the leg yeah do that. right there yeah see oh okay I didn't. know I could do that do whatever you. comfortable all right and we going blame. we going to blame it on. P yeah but look but but yeah but when I. say that it's like when we all in the. soup and just we ain't got no money and. it ain't we ain't got need you see the.

opportunities over here we normal folks. cuz you see when people ain't famous no. more how friendly they is you know what. I'm saying but when they famous they. walk. around yeah and it's like why why why. did have to take that yeah why why you. had to lose it to be be who you was. before just be you I mean I don't give a. [ __ ] when producers talk about movies. just just you just getting that money. cuz I mean I I've been I've been I man I.

hav been in the game I I've been around. the world I didn't seen it all I didn't. had loot all kind of opportunities I. ain't never had the big money but I. always wedged myself in the game. somebody say I'm underr you a lie I've. been kicking it I done a lot of [ __ ] I. it pretty good yeah yeah but then and I. like the way I'm flying I I don't have. to worry worry about [ __ ] and try to. stay on somebody path I'm I'm me and but. I yes comedians always had you know and.

I think the beef comes from this success. over here this success over here that's. when they become beef before they make. it they cool or they'll fighting the. street I mean we you know everybody. ain't going to get along everybody that. but everybody ain't gonna make it either. Le oh for sure I mean that's in anything. right I mean this depends on what you. consider making it well you can you know. my making it well I mean you like I mean. there are some people like okay the. comedy like you said you do 200 shows a.

year you make great money but a lot of. times people look and they see where. they see well prior and they see Cosby. and they see uh prior and they see Kevin. Hart and they see Mike Elson they see so. many of these other comedians not only. do what did standup you see the Adam. sanding and you see uh the ray Romanos. and you see the SCI that had TV shows. they was like well why didn't I get why. didn't I get. that yeah but you can't sit up and ask. why you just got to find your world I I.

don't think I don't think their success. Ain't My Success right but we don't know. what kind of pain come with that. pleasure right you understand cuz I know. I know the backgrounds on some of that. money and I and I know some of some of. them really be working hard than they. making you understand you don't you you. can't you can't always say o i mean when. I you know I remember.

back I see some famous women and they be. with somebody like will J P I said man I. mean that's a lucky dude boy he got J P. he making mov and then we see they life. just implode right you understand what. I'm saying so you don't know yeah what's. really going what's going on behind the. scenes you don't really know you. thinking that he got a this perfect life. and it's not what you think and my and. the thing about it like comedians see my.

life and they they would think they they. love it but I learned to be grateful. right for what God give me and the guy. He blesses me to go to them other. plateaus cuz I mean I ain't done I mean. I'm going to get my real moments in the. sun I'm got got some more opportunities. going to come but right now I don't. stress on it no more I I mean I'm. blessed man I'm blessed because I I can. I can go pretty much anywhere and get. the work right and I and people and my.

Persona and my. personality is so admirable I think. that a person who can't stand me or hate. me that person that know me won't. believe him you know what I'm saying. yeah because like let's say you know. somebody you come to come up to you you. know to say something about one of your. friends man you know that [ __ ]. he [ __ ] hold on man what you mean he. a good dude right man I can't believe oh. you don't know him like I know I said.

[ __ ] I've been knowing him all my life. he a good dude you ain't G to never. believe what they say because you know. him and and the way he carried himself. with you you know and that's how you. should live your life right I read what. you said cat uh when cat said what he. said on on the show that a lot of these. people shouldn't have have responded. because it makes them look guilty you. still St by that or you should yeah yeah. of course you but you don't you have the. right to defend yourself because here. it's a double-edged sword well if you. defend yourself would you defend. yourself against let me ask you a.

question if I don't say anything they. say well he's guilty if I do say. something they say hit dog holler so how. do I win or do I win or should I not. even try to win this situation you win. by going on stage and blowing that. [ __ ] up doing your thing keep on. being successful and keep on moving on. with your life like earthquake did. earthquake on [ __ ] unfrosted. they said he couldn't read that [ __ ] in. the movie some somebody read it to him. there you go back I'm just saying they.

said he couldn't read he got a radio. show that he been on all this time so. when they people say he learned to read. somewhere right I like this [ __ ] was in. the Air Force and know so I mean people. going to say you know but my. thing it like I said I I think like I. said you you look guilty you know. because I mean cuz what it what it does. is right look at the y'all talking about. the kenry Lamar beef and all that [ __ ]. they they keep going back and forth.

saying this most ridiculous and. horrifying things about each other but. my whole thing you saying this [ __ ]. about this [ __ ] so you knew this about. this [ __ ] all this time and you. a report his ass to the police you. understand what I'm saying you was just. as guilty as he is so now you want to. bust him out like it's going to make it. bad no that makes you look as bad as him. you say he a pedopile okay he a pedopile. but you knew this and you let these kids. risk these KS life cuz you you want to. say it in the rap.

battle you know that's all I'm saying. right that's all I'm saying when you but. but but if it ain't true you know you. don't have to regurgitate it and keep on. riding off it but if you say I'm B about. [ __ ] I'm come on say [ __ ] I. ain't never I'm come I'mma walk out [ __ ]. all that [ __ ] we got to go we got to go. to whoa whoa you just told told me that. when Mike C said that about me I should. have just laughed it off you said you. was a pedophile no it's the same thing a. straight man don't want to be called Gay. well you knew you wasn't gay no but well. he knew he not a pedophile so what's the.

difference you know he no no no no no I. said no no no no no no hold on hold on. okay hold on I mean first of all I I. would I would have never thought your. ass was gay cuz it wouldn't look right. on you if I see your ass with a blind. wig on I'mma smack [ __ ] out of you [ __ ]. I don't care how strong you is you get. your Funk ass back over and be a man. [ __ ] yeah you know but that that but. there there was some [ __ ] talking but. that when he said a pedophile that's. different you ain't hurt nobody you.

ain't gay is guess Gay if you was gay. you own up to that [ __ ] is nor but I. don't look I'm a straight man I know you. are and I'm from the south and we and. don't don't try to emasculate me cuz I. don't play them games all I'm going to. say is okay why so only way they canas. he pull your pants down and smack you on. your ass that don't they don't they. don't want that's but that's all I'm. saying though L of all the so all the. things you can say well shanon talk with. a li like you said man I saw him talking.

on TV he spreading everybody all over. the place you go to. that yeah I did no I talking about you. here no no but go to gay okay yeah I. mean it was a it's a stretch cuz I don't. I seen you got kids yeah I got kid and. people look there are a lot of people. there look look and no I don't got no. problem with nobody L whatever whatever. letter you want to use in the alphabet. that's you that's your life I don't. judge nobody I would I I would I would.

just never believe you gay that's the. thing so I when he said it I would just. be laughing only reason he said because. you had the purse on your neck that's it. no he said that before I had the purse. before you had the purse yeah well cuz. that's I'm going wear the purse again I. ain't getting rid of my purse there a. lot of it's a lot of [ __ ] with. man B manab you know how long I had to. wait to get on that list of herb. ass you can't walk in the store and get. no herb ass B please man I waited s. months well you act like white folk I'm.

going to get it you Liv in large like. that I got I ain't got no money like. that you got I ain't got no money like. you got [ __ ] [ __ ] you got a her M I ain't. got [ __ ] I got a t me. wallet hey if I show this [ __ ]. you going to be laughing at me yeah hey. look look look look but all look you you. can pick your balance right okay you. have you have every right to defend it. if you want. to but I think you walk in with a bad.

[ __ ] that stop all that punk ass [ __ ]. you know or do a sex. [Laughter]. tape I ain't going to watch it I mean. they might feel you got the crew you. right they welcome to Club station we. doing a little something different. tonight watch this Mike EPS now you know. but no but it I I I mean I'm sure if you.

if you felt that way you had a right to. say it yeah I can't tell the man not to. do. it but I. know if you do it all going start yeah. yeah it's going to be a wildfire because. it's so weird about like you said hit. dog holler uh uh cry baby cry baby if. you say something and everybody go oh. Mike must been right you know whatever P. you can't really you can't please people.

you and you beat his ass and it's still. gay ass [ __ ] beat the [ __ ] out of me. you understand what I'm saying you like. that's enough you know but you get it's. it's it's it's it just goes in stuff and. I and trust me man I mean trust me I got. M talking about my head call me fat talk. about this talk about that and I and you. know and I'll be just like man I don't. even waste my energy no more okay. sometimes I I get mad about it but I you.

know I talk to Jesus I say Jesus help me. get out get this sh out of my system. because cuz when you do that it really. goes away and so you God just Elevate. you yeah cuz I'm going guarantee. something about me you talk about me but. they say hey LEL craw was on Club sh. Shay [ __ ] what the [ __ ] you doing how. you know what I'm saying. they had C on that [ __ ] you know. [ __ ] on to in might not go viral as. cat [ __ ] I ain't worried about that cuz. I mean I I didn't do it for that I see. Amanda seal came on and she she had her.

moment on here I don't I don't get into. that I'm not I don't even put nobody I. mess with Mike black and I'm joke. because I say that [ __ ] to him right I. I'm not I'm not that guy to to worry. about that if you don't like me I I cuz. I let me tell you something I a't got I. I got shunned by L hurt my damn feeling. you know but I still love [ __ ] oh [ __ ]. I was at the airport got off the plane. booy bad ass on the plane with me and he. got on the plan oh [ __ ] booy bad ass man.

hey man let me get a picture with. you now he GNA probably come back and. say big [ __ ] lying [ __ ] I'm. like okay I I I tell my daughter them. that they laugh at me because cuz I I. was getting a picture for them because. they was more fans than me right and you. know but but I was like oh that is him. he would have no security with him or. nothing and I said Miss Bo better you. think I get a pcty he said yeah man hold. on so so I thought we got go boom take a. quick selfie he said let me go to the.

bathroom so I'm like okay I'm out here I. ain't no I'm not no slou my damn s but. I'm looking like a little eager Ass Fan. sitting out here waiting on him to come. out of toilet I said you ready for the. picture that [ __ ] walks past me. and go sit down and I like like what the. [ __ ] is he doing like I don't want to. push it you know like you know like you. ready for the picture I'm standing. looking goofy as [ __ ] I felt even fatter.

you know what I'm saying I sitt like oh. God let me ask again I said you know I. said you ready for the picture sir like. that you know just like you know and the. [ __ ] pulls his phone out and gets on. his phone I don't even think he dial. nobody when this [ __ ] woring me. about a goddamn picture man and I we for. real oh and I was mad as [ __ ] like man. you know he had a skinny if I was back. in my day I might to grab his little ass. up choke his diabetes out of but I said.

maybe he just want to be B right I. forgave him I still laugh at his video. cuz I I fell I fell in love with the. brother from his video cuz he made me. laugh and then the [ __ ] fish he. fish I said man we you fish and you. acting like that to me but I I didn't. take it like painful right you know but. it but my daughter laugh when she. laughed it pissed me off cuz she laugh. at me cuz she laugh at how how I tell.

the story and I and I can't I keep. forgetting I'm a comedian but it was. like the way he did it it was just like. God D how you do me like that man give. me your M Rushmore comedians my M. Rushmore your M Rushmore LV Crawford's M. Rushmore. H let me let me hold slow down and think. about this I'm put myself up there cuz. ain't nobody ever said. me Robin Harris okay Richard prior okay.

it's for and that need one more right. one more okay Rober Harris Richard Pryor. Murphy Chappelle bir uh you got oh man. you got so many I'm old school okay. Carlin oh yeah Paul Mooney yeah call Red. Fox red fox you know why cuz he's from. St Louis and he he was just he was he. was an incredible entity and he was a. good brother and he helped Our People. Too y That's a red fox that's my M.

Rushmore leel Crawford ladies and. gentlemen appreciate you thank you very. much my. myle price want a slice got the roll of. dice that's why all my life I've been. grinding all my life look. all my life been running all my life. sacrifice hustle P the price want a. slice got the roll a dice why all my. life been gring all my life.

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