Amanda Seales Fires Off On Issa Rae, Insecure, Emmanuel Acho vs Angel Reese & Black Media Spaces

No, she is a young person. Do you know. how disgusting that is? And that. cornball who loves to make himself look. like he's the white people's savior. Who's that? Emmanuel a lot. Come talk to me, white people. I'm the. black guy that that's nice. Man, I know these people, man. I'm going. to have to have. Well, you're not saying that I am. All my life been grinding all my life. Sacrifice, hustle, paid the price, want. a slice, got to roll the dice. That's. why all my life I've been grinding all. my life. All my life. Been grinding all.

my life. Sacrifice. Hustle. Paid the. price. Want a slice. Got to roll the. dice. That's why all my life I've been. grinding all my life. [Music]. Hello. Welcome to another episode of. Club Shay. I am your host Shannon Sharp. I'm also the proprietor of Club Shay. The lady that's stopping by for. conversation on the drink today is a. multi-talented prolific comedian, actress, writer, producer, director, TV. host, syndicated radio host, author, podcaster, DJ, rapper, singer, poet,

media personality, performer, cultural. commentator, content creator, an. industry veteran, social media star, NAACP Image Award nominee, hip hop. scholar, entrepreneur, C CEO, a. philanthropist, an activist, a. renaissance woman. She calls herself a. common sense specialist, the people's. favorite truth teller, or truth test. translator as she prefers to call. herself. She says what folks are. actually thinking. Welcome to the show, Miss Amanda Seals. You ran it down. How was that?

I mean, so how was the intro? Did I. leave out anything? That was the best intro I've ever had in. my life. You like that? That was fabulous. Because you was a little worried. I. mean, when you came in, you was like, maybe I wasn't worried. You was like, uh, oh, you don't know. You like you're so you're so you're so. formal. Why you being. don't worry. That's me trying to welcome. you. That's that's not me saying that's. not me. How you welcome me in my own house? No, because I know that I have a lot of. energy when I come into a space and. people will be like, "Oh, you know, it's. a lot of So, I have been trained over.

the years to try to make people feel. comfortable.". Okay. So, that's what I'd be trying to do. Well, I like Well, I'm trying to make. you feel comfortable. Are you. comfortable? Yes. You know, normally when we when. people when guests come on the show, we. like to have a toast. So, it's bad luck. to toast a uh spirit and water. Okay. So, a toast. All the best. Thanks for stopping by. But I had to jump on this right quick. Go on with it. Real good folks. Go ahead and get your. get your bottle shave by Laortier.

So, how are you? How am I? I am. um that's a loaded question. how I'm evolving. That's how I am. I'm. evolving. I've had a lot of uh. information and a lot of slander at the. same time. Okay. And. um in the past. month, um. it's just been a very like difficult.

time, but there's been really beautiful. things that have come out of it that I. will speak to, you know, in this. conversation. Well, since we started. there, uh, we'll start there and we can. pick up go to another another direction. a little later. What started this evolution? What caused. Amanda to to all of a sudden see things. or. not see things differently, but maybe. see things as they actually are? um because so many people.

were seeing what I was experiencing and. they shared with me that they had had. similar experiences. Okay. And so I recently was diagnosed as. someone who has autism spectrum. disorder. Okay. Which is very difficult to identify in. black women because of racism. Uh. so what what exactly is autism spectrum? cuz I hear people say you're on the. spectrum. It used to be called Asberers, but that. is no longer what it's called because to.

my knowledge, Asperger was a Nazi. Okay. Um, but what it typically what it simply. means is that your brain functions in a. different way. So, you're neurode. divergent and you also have uh certain. tendencies that are considered outside. of what the neurotypical way of things. is. Okay? And a lot of times that can. have you present in a manner that people. misrepresent. Okay. Okay. Which is the story of my life. Okay.

And so when all of this started. ballooning out of nowhere and people. were saying, you know, you're unlikable. and you're a bully. Um no, not not. you're a bully, but you're being. bullied. And these were things these. were tropes that have been associated. with me before, but I'm in a new level. of visibility at this at this juncture. And you get people saying things like, "You are difficult. You are mean. You. are nasty." And you know that you're. none of these things,

right? But they're attributing it to things. that are not actually action-based. Like, I don't cheat people. I don't lie. to people. I don't stab people in the. back. I don't I don't operate in macity. I am not duplicitous. I don't do none of. this [ __ ] But I have a certain tone. about how I speak and that makes people. feel like, "Oh, I mean because something. about the tone that I speak in doesn't. make them feel a certain way.". And so, can I ask you this? Not to cut you off,

but were they people that you had. relationships with? Were this in the. workplace that you became difficult? Or. this people that you just have general. interactions with? These aren't people I've met. So is. people the people who are saying these. things about me have never met me. And that's impacting you. Yes. Why? For a number of reasons. One, I am not a.

sociopath. Um two, it is actually a part. of being autistic that you are very very. very sensitive to what people think. about you because you are always keenly. aware that you are an alien. You are. keenly aware that you are different. You. are keenly aware that. something is very. odd about you and you're always always. trying to make the room feel good. We. literally just talked about it.

Cuz it's my habit, right? It's my habit to try I'm gonna cry. already. I've only been here for like. five damn minutes. It is my habit because I've always been. labeled as this. You think you know. everything. It's not that I think I know. everything, but I really did know the. answer. And I'm thinking I'm helping the. room out by having the answer. Oh, but they like. make you a knowit-all. You're a lot. You're a showoff. You're. extra. In my fresh my sophomore year of. college, I was put in a suite with seven.

other women. And the day I got there, my name had. been ripped off the door and thrown on. the ground. I didn't I didn't even know. these women. And two weeks in of them. not talking to me, I said, "Listen, I'd. like to have a Friday night where I buy. a bottle of tequila and we all just sit. around and y'all can take shots and tell. me why you don't like me.". And everybody's reason was. I don't like you cuz you think you all. laugh. I don't like you because you. extra. I don't like you cuz you a. showoff.

None of that [ __ ] is anything having. like I'm not harming them. Like I'm not. I'm literally just trying to. But they formed this opinion of you. prior to meeting you. Like I'm just trying to exist. I'm. literally just existing in the world and. it's a [ __ ] problem. And so. when you are also I'm also an only. child, you know, like I also so I didn't. have like built-in support systems. outside of my mom, you know, I didn't. have like that sis that brother sister. support system. And so I've always felt. like the outsider. I've always been an.

outlier. You know, it's it's always. interesting when people call me the mean. girl. I said, "I must have turned into a. bad bitch." Cuz I was flatchested and. loud for a really long time. Like I was. always the bullied one. I've been. bullied for all type of [ __ ] But when. you ask like why does that bother you? It's because. no one wants to be invalidated. I don't. think anyone is really okay with that. And I think that also as a black woman, we are always kind of put in this. position of appeasement. And how do you not disrupt the space?

How do you not disrupt the space? And if. you're going to not like me, I would at. least like it to be for a legit reason. Okay. And I'm so happy to be in this space. with you because to be honest, like I. spent so much time trying to convince. people, Shannon, trying to convince. people of like, no, no, that's not what. it is. That's not what it is. And it's. like I'm I'm off it. Yeah. I'm off it. There is the truth. There is my truth. And a lot of times, baby, it's the same. Mhm. And one of the reasons why you can see.

that is because when you when I recount. a story, I want you to notice this. When. I recount stories, I don't I very rarely. include my feelings. It's never I felt. that this person did this. I thought. that this person did this. It's like. reading Game of Thrones. He's the He's. just giving you the sequence of events. You don't see the feelings of Catelyn. Stark at the [ __ ] Red Wedding until. you watch the show because in the. writing, it is just a series of events. That is part of my autism. I speak in. directs. I speak in linear spaces. I.

speak in literals. That's part of the. reason why people don't like me neither. because I'm literal and I take things. literally. So if you say to me I'm going. to be there at 5. I'm like why you went. here at 5? They're like, "Well, I'm at. 5ish." Well, you should have said 5ish. cuz I was waiting for you at 5. [Music]. So can I ask let me ask you this. How. old were you when you got diagnosed? And. did you always feel that you was. different and you felt something was. wrong? Well, what's today?

Today is Thursday the 18th. So, 42 and however many days until I I. was just recently diagnosed. Okay. And this came out of this situation. because so many black women who are. autistic said to me, "I see you. You. need to." And I've always thought that. I've always thought, you can look at. other interviews. I have mentioned. before like I think I'm on the spectrum. because I'm an 80s baby. This was not. really a part of the narrative,

right? And as we started seeing more about. autism and you start seeing shows about. different characters and I start. learning more like from people like. Holly Robinson Pete, I'm like. this feels really like me. Um, but then, you know, I think sometimes. we're afraid to learn certain things. Yeah. So, 60s and 70s babies just got whooped and. put to bed. And to be honest, it's true. And to be.

honest, I just want to say like. so my mom so in this revelation. my mother started looking up like. symptoms of autistic children and was. like, "Oh, you exhibited all of this.". But I didn't know what to do with this. She's a single parent. She's trying to. figure it out. But I really just thank. my mom because what my mom couldn't show. up for me emotionally, I realized that. she was able to at the very least.

That's not even fair to say. She was. able to. still let me be who I am. instead of beating it out of me, right? Which happens to so many kids who are. misunderstood, you know, like and she's. West Indian. And so like I'm over here being this. precocious, you know, um, little. quacious child that's always talking to. me, telling her like, "Why you letting. her just do all this talking and all of. that? Why she she's too fresh? She too. fresh. Why you doing all why you letting. her just run shimoto?" And my mom is.

like, "That's Amanda. Like, let her live, right?". And most, let's be real, most parents. No, shut it up. Mhm. If my father had lived with me, I would. never have been the person I am now. because he wouldn't he wouldn't have. been able to handle it. And I believe. that he is autistic, too. He's a. brilliant. He's just he was never seen the way he. needed to be seen. And so it it it. turned into narcissism. But you can be brilliant without being. autistic though, right? Hell yeah. 1,000%.

Absolutely. But. because I'm both gifted and autistic. Yes. But Amanda, sometimes, you know, just because you have a special gift, that doesn't mean that, you know, you. have a spectrum or you have a uh just. because you see things differently, it. doesn't mean that you're on the spectrum. or you. this isn't related to simply how I see. things. This is related to how my brain. functions. Yes. But just because your brain just. because your brain functions differently. from say mine. Yes. So you feel just because your brain.

functions differently that that's what. caused it or there's a clinical. diagnosis that. there are clinical diagnosis. for you? Yes, there are clinical diagnoses for. autism. Yes. Yeah. When you when you take the tests you see. when you take the test you're like. hold up the like this is I've been. thinking my whole life. that this was a problem. Like the way the fact that when I the. fact that I have to I have to doodle. I. have to draw all the time. I have to be. doing things all the time to be.

stimulated. It's literally called. stmming. Like the fact that when I'm a. baby, I I have to rock like in a child. pose. Like literally rock and my mom. would be like, "What? Why is she doing. that?" We find out later this is. stmming. This is her literally dealing. with her anxiety in a self soothing way. The fact that even little things like if. there was a bowl of peanuts right here, I would be lining them up in a row. I'd. be lining them up in a row like this. These are these are small things that. are indicative of like your brain. functions in a very particular way, right? And that functionality also.

displays itself in your behavior, right? So it and it's also atypical to the way. that our society functions. So for. instance, like this society is very keen. on um people performing. There's all this phoniness all the time, right? Yes. And when you are autistic, you. literally are unable to even catch these. certain social cues. There have been. twice in my life where I was in a fight. and I didn't know I was about to be in a. fight cuz I.

cuz I just didn't understand the social. cues, right? I literally didn't understand what was. happening. Okay. You know, I'm thinking like they said. come outside and I'm like what's up? And. then I get punched in the [ __ ] face. For the record, I won the fight. Um. you let her get up. She got up first and. you still won. Yes, sir. Damn, you got you got squabble skills. like that. I have rage. Ah, I have rage. I'm very strong. Like. freakishly.

You single? Yes. You want to talk about it? No. No. No. We going to talk about We're. going to talk about it later. So, let me. ask you this. So, there were a lot of parent teacher. conferences with you, huh? Yes. But not for what I Well, what do. you think they were about? Uh, your excessive talking, maybe the. doodling. Um, funnily enough, no. You know what the. parent teacher conferences were about? What? Amanda is sticking up for other kids in.

the class. Amanda is correcting me. Like. I had a teacher, Miss Schwank, who had. who called a conference because she was. talking about Aboriginal art. and she said that the she stood in front. of the class and said, you know, that. the aboriges are a stone age people. And. I was like, ma'am, there are Aboriginals. alive right now. Like they are a part of. civilization. Like what are you talking. about? out and she's like, "Well, no, you know what I mean is that they've. never advanced.

and we in a classroom in Orlando, Florida, so like if we don't check this. type of stuff, it's going to just. continue." So, I was that student like I. was the kid who was always raising my. hand and um just wasn't easily appeased. by simply just someone being in. authority, right? And my was I always I love this. because when when she called my mom. and said, you know, I I'd like to set a. conference up because I have some. complaints about Amanda. My mom said,

well, you know, that's interesting. because Amanda has some complaints about. you. And so they came to the meeting. It was. my mom and Mr. Wright and Miss Cersei is. all black people at Dr. Phillips High. School in Orlando, Florida. And this. lady sat there and she and actually you. and Mr. Wright have the same bill. And. Mr. Wright was like, "All right, so um. you know, are we here to discuss Amanda. disrupting the class with her talking?". And she was like, "No, Amanda doesn't.

disrupt the class. They're talking. She. actually helps the other students out.". He's like, "Oh, okay. So, is it about. her grades?" And she's like, "Actually, no. One of her art pieces is featured in. our exhibit at the library." And he's. like, "So, what are we here for?" And. she's like, "Well, you know, she. corrects me in front of the class." And. these three black people are like, "Here. we go with this racist bullshit." You. know, cuz that's really what it is. We're in Florida in the 80s and the 90s. And um. But let me ask you this. Let me ask you. this. Okay. If you do you think she would have felt.

equally as offended if a white kid cuz. I'm assuming this teacher was white, right? If a white widow a white child would. have corrected her? I think most. teachers would feel some type of way if. a child corrects them. That's not for me. to surmise. I'm just saying that my. experience was this lady giving wrong. information. Yeah. And I'm allowed to correct her. Now, this is the same lady who tried to. accuse me of stealing. And when a white. girl said, "No, Amanda didn't steal it. I did." She was like, "Well, I think. both of you need to go to the. principal.".

Right. I am in Orlando, Florida, which is a. notoriously racist state, Florida, in. the '9s. And I'm talking to you about a. white woman who is speaking about black. people, indigenous people in a country. where those same indigenous people have. had all of their land taken from them by. former criminals that were sent there. from England. And she is calling them. stone age people. And I, as a black. girl, the only black girl in her class, am correcting her. But I I I my thing is, you're right. She.

possibly misspoke or she didn't know. My. question to you, Liz, why do you even. feel compelled at this juncture in this. interview? Why would you even fe feel. compelled to try to. Because I don't want Because I'm not. defending, but my thing is is that what. I'm trying to say most adults when kids. correct them or speak feel some type of. way. This is not unique to a black white. or white black. That's all I'm saying. Okay. I'm sorry that you took it that.

way, but I remember when I was growing. up, my grandparents and parents says, "Hey, kids, stay in your place. Adults. are speaking." That's all. I don't Maybe. that didn't happen where you were. forming in Orlando, Florida, but where I. grew up in and when I grew up, kids did. not correct adults. So, I apologize if you thought thought. it came off as combative. No problem. Let's get into your acting. You've been.

at this game for a long time. You. started in 1993 as a child actor. Was. that something that you always wanted to. do? Um, not that I always wanted to do. I mean, I started dance. Very, very young. Um, in 1989, I was on. Disney. Well, not I was on on Sorry. In 1989, I. went to an audition for Disney. Okay. uh. because they had something called the. Sparkling Christmas Spectacular at uh. Disney World in Orlando and my mom was.

like, "I think you should go and. audition." So, I went and auditioned and. I made it, which I was not expecting to. do. It was like 1500 kids dancing and I. made it and I'm like, "Okay." And even. though you're going to probably have an. issue with this, they were racist. So, when I was at Disney Yes. and I was in the situation at Disney, I. was there as the only black girl and. there was a whole crew. It's like 12 of. us. 12 of us. Um, and so I was called an. n-word right there while I was there.

And uh, I was also bullied while I was. there because I was told that you're. only here because you're black. You. can't really dance. You're just here cuz. you're black, so don't get any ideas. So. that's what I'm being told by the other. children. Does that suffice as racist to. you or would you want to call it. something else? Is that just kids being. mean? That's Yeah, they're kids. So let me ask. you a question. As a child, do you never. said anything derogatory? you was just. this model citizen of the child. I mean children. Now we're talking. children, not functioning adults. Now if.

you told me adults parents were telling. you this or the execs or people that are. in charge of Disney are telling you. this, I could agree with it. But at 89, I'm I'm you're probably 8 n years of. age, maybe younger. So you have no problem with the children. that were cursing out Ruby Bridges and. the Little Rock N. You think that was. just Do you think that was just them. being kids? Kids can two things can be true. Kids. can be kids and not function as an adult.

and things can be wrong. And sometimes. when kids say things, they're repeating. what they heard their parents say. They. don't know it's wrong. So what about the children who are. receiving it that know it's wrong? Is. that doesn't does that not matter? Yes. Yes. So if I'm So if I'm if I'm 10. and I'm receiving that treatment and I. know it's wrong, does it make my. experience of it less? It doesn't make it any less valid. No. So that's what we're here to talk about, my experience. Yes. So my experience is that I experienced.

that and it was difficult. So that's the. valid part of this. I'm not here to. protect those people because it's. irrelevant to the conversation. So when. I'm talking about me being on this dance. show, I was there and it was um there. was other kids there who were actually. really kind and they had been in like. the business. And so for instance, shout. out to Melissa Salamone. Her grandmother. um they were well they were not uh rich. and a lot of other kids were really rich.

and so they got they got pushed to the. side because they wasn't rich. So my her. mom, her grandma and my mom like really. like they kind of found each other and. that's where I learned about head shot. and resumes and agents etc. and I was. able to get an agent from that. Okay. So then I start auditioning and um. I'm like booking stuff and it's like oh. all this precociousness is actually.

being put to good use. And then I booked. like my first big job was cop and a. half. Okay. Um. I was Katie. And uh I remember being at my fifth. grade trip to Wakiva Riverwalk and my. mom pulling up and was like, "We got to. go to this audition." I'm like, "Come. on, we're about to go on a nature hike.". And she's just like, "No, we have to go.

I really think we should go." I'm just. like h so I was never. like the child actor like the typical. child actor like and my mom was never. like a she was never a mamaager. She was. more so just like. you know it's like if you don't want to. practice piano but your parents know. that practicing piano is good for you. Like that's really what it was. It was. like you don't want to go but I know. this is good for you and I'm the parent. so we going to go. So you So you said you were like a. normal so you did normal things like a. normal child. You didn't have like you.

didn't get homeschooled because you was. on this show and you did this you were. shooting three or four times, you know, four or five times a week. You had a. normal life as a child. Yeah. And my mom was very about that. So. like on my brother and me when I was on. my brother and me on Nickelodeon, right, I was only supposed to be on two. episodes, but they really liked my work. and so they said, "Okay, we're going to. write her into the whole show." So my. mom was like, "Well, what does that. mean?" And they were like, "Well, that. means we're going to do uh 15 episodes.". Uh, no. It was 12 episodes. Okay. But. I'm only in 10 because my mom was like,

"Well, she has a trip with her aunt.". So, how did you feel about that? Fine. Cuz I was never about like this. This was a hobby. It was a hobby for me. at that age. I was a gymnast. That was. what I was more interested in. I'm like, I got to make. Well, Bella Coroli wasn't coming to your. school to get you to sign you out of. school, Amanda. No, but my coach was picking me up from. school to take me to the gym. I went to Orlando Metro. Shout out to. Jeff and Christie. Yeah. I mean, I was a. gymnast for real. For real.

So, but I'm I'm not sure I understand. No, but I'm saying I'm saying like. Nickelodeon this this was a paying job. I'm assuming. doesn't matter. I'm a child. Remember. how children have, you know, different. things about how we understand things. So, it didn't matter to me. I cared. about gymnastics. Okay. So, literally. like when I was going into the audition. for for Nickelodeon, you got to do you. had to do this long walk from the. parking lot to the audition. And I just. remember crying that whole walk because. I was mad because the coach had said. that day that I could work out with the. level eights and my mom said no we got. to go to this audition and I was just.

like I want to work out with the level. eight but I booked the show. So at the time the Nickelodeon was going. on Britney Spear, Amanda Binds, Emma. Roberts. Did you did you meet any of. these? No. Did you did you know any did you know. anything about did you know any other. child actors? Well, the ones that were. on the show with me, but I wasn't I. mean, I was very insol. Remember, I. wasn't out here either. This was in. Orlando. Okay. So, like we shot on the same soundstage. as all that for a little bit, but we.

never met any of them. Like, literally, it was just like in passing. Then they. left and Galaga Island took over. But. you're very insulated. I mean, you're. not really like. I mean, also like it's not like I'm the. star of the show, you know? know. So, I'm not going to I don't even think they. had like Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards. or things at that time, but. uh we only did one season, okay? I mean, they played the season for seven. years, right? You know, but it wasn't like and again. like I didn't have a mama. I didn't have. like a publicist and you know, there's. like.

a lot of kids in those situations, their. parents are seeing them as, you know, you the meal ticket. Yes. You the meal ticket. Where. your mom never viewed you as that? My mom is dropping me off at work so she. can go to work. Okay. you know, so I'd be on set, you. know, by myself, but I was just super. duper duper duper fortunate that, you. know, we were taken care of. We were. protected. You know, when you see this. documentary quiet on the set, you just. feel so so. you feel so sad is is is such a generous. is such a not accurate word, but you.

just feel so bad that these children. were not protected and they should have. been protected by the adults that were. around them. And I was I was protected and the. creators of the show, Calvin Brown Jr. and Alonga Adele like they were really. not playing around with the blackness. like everybody was black on this damn. show and um that was essentially why the. show actually did not go forward because. they wanted them to [ __ ] it up and you. know there was this kind of trend. remember with JJ and I don't like they. wanted them to go that route and they. was like nah we're not doing that like. this is about a black family like let.

them just be a black family. right. um and so for me it was very uh. it was a dope experience but I I'm very. proud though that at one point they had. called parent conferences with the de. with the director. What did you do? And so no with everybody they had they. were like the kids is acting up so we. going to have parent conferences. And so. everybody's looking at their moms like. you know what's going to happen. And I. just you know I was like I don't know. what this is about. And I'm very proud.

that I was sitting outside and my mom. was in and out. And I was like why was. it so short? She said because when I. went in there the man said Amanda's. great. So this whole Amanda's difficult to work. with narrative is is fascinating to me. It's fascinating truly. So as you said you only did this for a. year. You were big into gymnastics. You. really like gymnastics and and like.

child acting was kind of like a hobby. But do you look back on it at or if you. ever have did you like ever want your. own show when you were a child or did. you look back on it say man maybe I. could have. never. never I never wanted my own show. I had a really fulfilling life. Yeah. You know like I'm in gymnastics. I'm. doing the child acting. I'm also you. know I'm thriving in academics. You know. my mom's got me in like extracurricular. programs. I get to travel with my aunt.

you know, uh, just do other She married. a white man, so we started doing white. white people activities. So, now I'm. doing scuba diving and skiing and [ __ ]. I'm in Colorado, you know, I'm just. getting a whole other experience. Um, and you know, for all intents and. purposes, and I just want to also just. bring this to light for you because this. is going to be a theme throughout this. interview, okay? I am a scholar of race, okay? I'm not just someone who experiences it. I'm a scholar. I'm an academic of race. So I see the world through a particular.

lens because I am skilled at doing so. and because I'm an expert at doing so. Like my masters isn't just in. African-American studies. It's the fact. that I was taught by some of the. greatest thought leaders of our time. So. when you hear me say these things, I. would just like to ask that because you. have someone who is an expert sitting in. front of you to just consider versus be. combative because there may be an. opportunity here to see something. differently because you have someone. with you who is not just experiencing. race but is also uh examining and.

there's a different there's a different. intellectualism about that. You know. what I mean? Different intellectualism. about that. And and I say that also. because that's why I went and got my. masters. Okay? I went and got my masters because I know. that we live in a world that loves to. try and find ways to undermine black. people's minds. They love to find ways. to undermine black people's intellect. Look at this DEI [ __ ] This DEI. [ __ ] is trying to is trying to state. that in order to include black people, we have to lower the standard, which is. unconscionable because if black people. with no schooling were able to build the.

White House, if black people with no. schooling were able to create all of. these beautiful uh spirituals that we. that we still see to this day, if black. people with no schooling were able to. till these fields and know the ways of. agriculture enough to create the actual. uh the the actual bread basket of this. nation then you telling me that their. their descendants are not smart enough. to get into Harvard without you lowering. a standard that's. right. because DEI and affirmative action is.

not about lowering the standard it's. about expanding the opportunity so I. went and got my masters so that when I. am in spaces and I do bring up race and. I talk about these things it's not just. based on experience it's based on actual. study. okay I'll also ask that because if I. don't see things exactly as as you see. them. I don't expect you to. don't take it as being combative. Combative. You see things one way. I. might see it a different way. That. doesn't mean I'm being combative.

I would say it's combative when there's. a undermining of what how someone sees. something. But why are you trying to undermine how. I see it? Cuz it's my experience. Okay. Well, I'm telling you I don't know. my experience. But I'm saying see you take it as if I. don't agree with you, I'm being. combative. No, I don't. I take it as if I have an. experience and you're telling me that my. experience isn't what it is. No, I. You're telling me that my thinking. somebody is racist who I was in a. classroom with for a year that you have. never met. You are you are you are emitting doubt.

upon that because you because of your. own experiences. No, I said I was. talking about the teacher and you. and I said I could have believe I. believe based on my. experience. experience and a lot of people is that. kids correct an adult no matter what. society it is is frowned upon. That's. what I was saying. You took it as that. I'm trying to minimize your experience. and say well I'm defending her when I.

wasn't. Okay. I think there's something worth. saying that that could come off that way. and it should be something to consider. Well, well, see, again, you're going to. consider it your way because you see. things, like you said, you see things. through your prism. Okay. Uh. I think it's fascinating to watch you. accuse me of doing the thing that you're. doing. No, I fascinating. I think it's I. it's fascinating. This is your This is your interview, so. I won't interject what I thought. But. anyway, your mom is white. Dad.

My mother is not white. Is your mom People keep saying my mother. is white. She's West Indian. So. she is a black woman from Grenada, which. is a black island. She married a white man. No, she did not. You say you started doing white things? My aunt married a white man. That's what. I said. I said my aunt married a white. man trip with my aunt. I have no My. mother is a black woman. I. misunderstood. Well, listen. I get attacked for this. and people try to undermine the validity. of my voice and and my my even my access.

to blackness on a regular basis by. trying to make up this thing that my. mother is a white woman. Okay. My mother is a black woman from Grenada. Grenada is so black. that Maurice Bishop said in a speech. that the FBI was worried about Grenada. more than they were about Cuba because. if Grenada really did become communists, they could influence black Americans. because we are black and speak English. That's how black Grenada is.

Well, that that's on me. And your father is black from Roxbury, Boston. That's on me because I I when I. heard married, I I didn't I didn't hear. the part that you said it was it was. your aunt that married. So, okay, we. good. We good there now. We good. So So. what made you um after you did you. receded from the spotlight after you did. My Brother and Me? Well, I didn't recede. I just was a kid. I just was. I didn't even think I was in the. spotlight when I did My Brother and Me. I mean, you have to understand it was. really like First of all, it was five. minutes from my house.

Yeah. It's lit. The universe was five minutes. from my house. I literally would just. drive over. It's lit. You It was across. the street from my high school. So, you really could have walked. Yeah. Like I could I mean it was So, it wasn't. as. I mean the other kids on there that were. from LA I mean they had to travel from. LA like so there's a much bigger. experience attached to it for them. whereas I'm just like going down the. block. to do a TV show for a few months. But that's a pretty big deal Amanda. I. mean the did kids treat you differently. knowing that you were like like okay. that's a pretty big deal. Look at.

Amanda. Yes. But I think I didn't make it a big. deal. So, you know, that's kind of how I've. always operated. Like if I like it's. like I don't think like even when people. tell me I'm a celebrity, I'm just like I. don't consider myself a celebrity. Like. I don't move that way. Like people will. people see me by myself and be like you. by yourself? It's like that's just kind. of like I just don't do the hullaloop, right? But um no, so I just I mean I did the. show. I went back to and I went to. eighth grade.

and and you know there wasn't like it's. not like Orlando was like a big. industry, right? So after that I went to eighth grade and. then I really got into gymnastics and I. just really that was my passion. I mean. to this day I I'm obsessed with. gymnastics. I I mean people know that I. love me some gymnastics. We just saw our. first uh gymnast from a H.B.CU win the. nationals which I just think is. incredible. And um shout out to Fisk. And I so I just went it wasn't that I.

receded from the spotlight. It was more. so that I just went on with my. You graduated. Yeah. I just went on with my life, you. know, and then I went to performing arts. high school. Okay. Dr. Phillips is one of the greatest high. schools of all time. So we were clear. Um I mean our alumni are like Wayne. Brady and Joey Fetone and Luis Fony and. Eddie Wong. I mean we've got, you know, my homeboy Michael Scott who is the. genie in Aladdin on Broadway. like we. just have a really beautiful legacy. Uh. and so that's where I went to high. school. And so I was really shaped I.

would say by my gymnastics coach, my. teacher and like the head of the. director of the theater program in high. school, Karen Reggerio, and my mother. Like these three people really shaped. me. And these were people that yelled a. lot. You are being yelled at. You are. being you expected to be perfect. Um, I. had to exhibit a high level of. professionalism from like a very young. age. Which is also why when people say a. man is difficult to work with, I just. laugh because like I've always been I.

mean I've been paying taxes since I was. eight. I've been in this business for so. long and then even when I was in spaces. that weren't professional spaces, you. were expected to carry yourself. I mean. you've played highle sports. So you're. expected to be obedient, you know, you're expected to show up. ready to work. Yeah. You know, you're expected to be self. motivated. You know, it's not enough for. your coach to cheer you on. No, you better be able to do it whether. they're there or not. Are self motivated. Yes. So, that is gymnastics and that was. theater. And theater at my school was. like football at FSU. I mean, it's.

topnotch and and at UF. Um, and. so like that's what I come from. I come. from people expecting you to be at your. best when they're not looking. That's. where I come from. And that's how I have. always operated. But you know, you go. through life and you realize that's not. how everybody operate. Yeah. I think that's the biggest mistake. that we make because we we want to see.

in others as we see oursel. I show up on. time. Why can't you show up on time? I. did this assignment. Why can't you do. this assignment? I did this. Why can't. you do that? It takes time to get grace. It takes. time to to learn grace. It takes time to. understand the. the beauty indifference. versus the frustration. We also don't live in a tolerant. society. No, we're very taught we're very much taught. individualism and this idea that. what I say goes, which you keep accusing.

me of, which is not true. Um, but. there's really something so great that. you learn in maturity, which is how to. identify people who have like. differences from you and people who are. harmful to you. Mhm. Right. Okay. And like that's the dance I. think for a lot of us. But I really just. thank those people. because. they gave me discipline. and they they gave me my own discipline. Like I didn't have to be disciplined by. them. You know what I'm saying? Like.

they taught me regimen. They taught me. discipline. And when you are somebody. who is an independent thinker, when. you're somebody who's an outlier who. goes against the grain, you better have. [ __ ] discipline because you. going to be by yourself a lot. But you said in, you know, say you say. this society teaches you individualism, but I thought it would I thought you. were supposed to be an individual, stand. out while being able to blend in. Am I. wrong? Um, so you know, colonial society.

teaches individualism over community. It's basically when I say individualism. in this context, I'm referring to like. the quest for self. Mhm. Like as long as I'm winning, it don't. matter about anybody else, right? That idea. Okay. You know, it's like. people who will say like racism doesn't. exist because I succeeded. And like. there's so many factors that had to come. into play for me to succeed, right? So. there's I come from a middle-ass home. I. was very fortunate to be very smart. I'm. light-kinned. Um, I'm well behaved.

Uh, I had really, really, really good. educators that cared about me, right? I. could have been born 10 miles away and. had educators that saw me as a nuisance, right? And then they put me in [ __ ]. disciplinary classes, etc., etc., right? Um, I was somebody who was very able to. very quickly pick up on like, oh, I if I. I can't get in trouble. I can't have a. low credit score. Like, I have to be.

perfect perfect. So, like, in order for me to succeed, every I had. to be and we all know this. I mean, we. listen to Papa Pope on Scand Scandal. You have to be 10 You have to be 10. steps perfect than everybody else. So, you know, irregardless of the racism, you it's indicative of the fact that, you know, you've had to be so flawless. to get there, right? And it shouldn't be that way. So, the. individualism is more so this idea that.

um if one person makes it, then it's an. indicator that the system or the. institution doesn't exist. But if you. know, I tell people this, you can be good at. any game if you understand the rules. If. you know that you have to be 10 steps. better, isn't it easier because you know. this going in without having to find it. out exposfacto like after the fact. So. you knew that Amanda has to be 10 times. better than her counterpart. So, you.

prepared yourself to be 10 times better, to be more prepared, to be more. disciplined, to be more dedicated, to be. more informed. I don't know if I would say it's easier, though. I mean, I think easier I don't. know that that's the word I would use. I. mean, I think it's. I mean, I guess there's something to be. said for like when you have a guide, right? There's you know, you're you're given a. bit more to the game, but I don't know. I think it's easier to take a test if. it's an open book test than.

1,000%. But if you still don't know. where to find it in the book, you still ass out cuz you never read the. book in the first place. So I think the other thing was having. people around me that knew how to find. it in the book of me that knew like if. it says that I got to be that much. smarter, I still have to learn how to. access my intellect, right? If it says I need to be more regimented, more more regimened, more disciplined, I. still have to know the tools on how to. do that. It's like when you have to. learn like, you know, like when you'd. have to take like notes taking. you like I got to take a class on how to. take notes. Yeah. Yeah. Because if you don't know how to.

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Shannon only on DraftKings. The crown is. yours. You go to college. Why did you go. so far away? Um, I was always a New Yorker. I. I just feel like what I that was my. tribe. Like I feel like I was born in a. different place than I felt comfortable. when I got to New York. When I went to.

New York for the first time when I was. 12, I was like, I've been here my whole life. Yes. My people. And also there was a cultural difference. in New York. So my directness that I had. always been vilified for that people. would tell me from a young age like. you're you're rude, you're mean just. because I'm direct. in New York. That. was the culture. So, I just felt also a certain level of. acceptance immediately because I'm. hearing people talk how I talk and.

they're not being vilified for it. They're not being put in a corner for. it. You fit in, huh? You fit in. But, no, you fit in. No, I'm saying I fit in because I felt. normal. Mhm. And I had not felt normal. And as a. child, not feeling normal feels. terrible, right? Um, and even with hip-hop, like. my fascination, I feel like with hip-hop. was that I'm hearing people spit and. talk in a way that I exist. Like when. you hear interviews with MC Light and.

Queen Latifah, they talking like this. You know what I'm saying? This is how. New Yorkers talk. And I'm like, that's. how I talk. I talk just like that. But. I'm from a place in Orlando where they. want me to talk like this. And if I. don't talk like this, then I'm not. feminine. If I don't talk like this, I'm. not sweet. I'm not kind and I can't it's. like. the amount of effort it takes for me to. talk like this. It also is just not who. it's just not who I am, right? So, um.

I really loved New York and also so at. the time uh the top three schools for. theater were NYU uh well in order. Giuliard, Sunni Purchase and NYU. and uh. I was again I was at Dr. Phillips and we. were a theater school and it was this. legacy that people, you know, was a big. deal on where's everybody going to. school? Where's everybody going to. school? And so I got into purchase. Um I.

got a call back to Jiuliard, but I got. into purchase, I got into NYU, I got. into like um the other schools that I. auditioned for, Depal and SMU. And going. to purchase was my dream. I mean, that. was really like where I really really. really wanted to go. And uh. I talk about this in my new book, Body. Waving Through the [ __ ] uh which is. coming out in 2025. But I talk about. just how like going to purchase was like.

this culmination of like all the work. that I'd been doing getting in here was. was it. And then I got there and I was. like, "Oo, I don't know about this. I don't know." Because ultimately. what we were doing in high school was. actually low-key more advanced. Wow. Than what we were doing at Purchase. I. mean at at Dr. Phyllis we doing five. shows a year. We're not just doing the. Music Man and calling it a rap. Um. so we were in a conservatory in high.

school. So when I got to purchase um it. was a wild time because one also like I. went through my growth spurt the summer. before I went to purchase. Okay. So I had been like this little loud. little person like well small person I. should say for a long time and then it. was like all of a sudden like I I had. you know some height and some womanness. about me you know and now I'm going to. this school and I'm like these are men.

These are like full grown men. Like. these are not boys. they're men. Um, and. again, social cues and awkwardness and. I'm trying to figure it out and I'm, you. know, I'm in this city, but the first. night that I was at Purchase, everybody would like gather on the mall. and ciphers would start the first night. every year. And I just remember watching. people just stand in ciphers and and. rap. And I was like, "Oh my god, I am in. the right place." Now, what it turned.

out to be was that um I ended up getting. kicked out of the conservatory. Tell me why. So, part of the. I guess the way that these schools. retain their um. like their status is by who they by how. many people they cut every year. And so, because of that, like there's. certain people that would do things to. try to avoid from getting cut. And so. one of the guys in my class.

felt like he was going to get cut. So he. decided to try to sacrifice me so that. he wouldn't get cut. So he created a. story and he told the teacher a lie. He. told her that I was listening to my. headphones in class. Um which I was not, but she was already a baddie lady. anyway. And again, I'm the only black. girl in my class, so like you're just a. very easy target. And I've been writing. about this. So, I've been talking to my. classmates and just we just thinking. back on like the type of [ __ ] that used.

to get said and um she just lost I mean. she lost it. She was like I can't. believe this. I can't believe you would. be here listening to your headphones. You have this the the attention span of. a three-year-old. You are never going to. make it. Mind you, I've already been on. shows. Um but. but can she see you in the class? Like I. mean you could just look I mean what. what would you have 100 students in your. class? She could have just looked out. and like, "Well, no, I had 20.". Well, damn. It ain't that hard to see. who has headphones or who. I mean, they.

were big back then. They don't have the. little the little pods that you and I. have now. So, what would you deduce? Why would she just flip out? That would lead me to speculation, conjecture, and innuendo. So, you were. there. I mean, had you had any run-ins. with this teacher prior to this? So, you were a model student in class? Straight A's.

Straight A's. Every class, straight A's. And. that one incident. possibly led to you. So, then she goes on a mission to get me. kicked out of the conservatory. And you can I mean you can look at the. transcript and it's just like so all of. her reviews up until this point stellar. stellar amazing amazing amazing and then. all of a sudden there's no excuse. I. don't know. I don't know. That's why I'm. asking you. I don't know. But she.

definitely went the distance and she got. me kicked out and I appealed. Um the two. heads of the conservatory at the time. were two brothers, Dean Herby and uh the. late Israel Hicks. And uh I appealed and. I had I asked everyone in my class if. they would be willing to write a letter. in my defense. Even the [ __ ] who. lied wrote a letter in my defense cuz. now he felt bad. Mhm. And the uh. the the head of the appeals process said.

we can't take the word of 25 students. over a tenure professor. So, what we're going to do is we will. reduce your uh sentence from an. expulsion to a suspension. So, you can. take a year off and then come back. What? So, because this is a conservatory. within a liberal arts school, you have. like what's called your core classes. that you got to take, you know? Right. So, basically, I was allowed to go take my.

core classes and then come back to the. conservatory the next year. Um, but. during that year where I was taking my. core classes, I realized I didn't want. to go back to their dusty ass. conservatory. They could keep that. And uh, so then I. was like, I'm going to drop out of. school. I'm going to quit school. I. don't want to be here. I'm going to drop. out of school. Cuz like everyone was. just majoring in [ __ ] that I just had no. interest in. People majoring in like,

you know, psychology or sociology. And I. worked at the Gap and all of my bosses. had all these degrees. And I'm like, well, you telling me about. how to fold jeans, but you got a. sociology degree. Clearly that [ __ ] ain't working for you, right? So I'm like, and also this is going to. cost me a bunch of money. So I'm like, I just can't see myself. spending all this damn money to get a. degree just to say I got a degree. right. now. My mom is losing it. You know, everybody's just like, oh my god, what's. going to happen to Amanda? So, you.

called your mom and told her that you. had what what transpired or did you hold. Yeah. Yeah. No, no, no. I don't I can't. hold water. Okay. Yeah, I can't hold water. Um, yeah, I. can't I can't I can hold other people's. secrets, not my own. Um, yeah, I told. her everything. How did she take it? I mean, she was livid because she knows. it's not factual. Like, if one thing one. thing about Amanda, she going to give. you a red lip, a a winged liner, and. straight A's, right? Okay. One thing I'm good at is school, baby. Right. I do school.

So, for me to get kicked out of school, [ __ ] out of here. Also, I'm a brilliant. actress. So, there's also like no. version of this that's related to my. skills. Like, I didn't get here by. accident. This is the number two. conservatory in the nation. I am one of. only 20 students and I won like national. scholarships. I won the arts. scholarship, the NFAA art scholarship. I. won the Donna Reed scholarship. They're. picking two students out of 1500. auditiones. Like, so I'm I'm proof I'm.

proof positive here. So, there's nothing legitimate. And you. know, for all for all it's worth, y'all, like I'm saying y'all to the people, but. like I I am very self-aware about like, okay, I could have done that better, you. know, but in this situation, it's like, no, I really showed up. So, but. nonetheless, my um my mom was panicking. because, you know, that meant like I'm. coming into the real world. Like, so. what is this going to be? Like, I'm. going to quit school and be a waitress. and try and make it in New York City.

Like, her just trying to imagine that. was just like, oh my god. And then I had a professor. who was like, you know, you're too smart to quit school. We're. gonna figure this out. And I told her. like, I'm not going to stay here on some. [ __ ] And she found out that I could. create my own major. And so in order to. create your own major, you had to. connect two schools of studies. So. there's like the school of natural. sciences, the school of social sciences, the school of theater, arts, and film. And so I had already had 32 credits from.

my freshman year in acting. Mhm. But all I cared about was learning about. black history because I had never been. taught it. Okay. like, you know, I mean, you hear you. learn about the basics. Yeah. Basic. Yeah. But within my core classes, I got to. take Harlem Renaissance. I got to take, you know, uh, African-American women. writers. I got to take, you know, African-American history 101. And you're. just like, you feel like you have. you're doing a deep dive.

Yeah. But you feel like you've been. betrayed. Yes. Yes. Absolutely. So, at that point, I was like, this is. all I care about. This is all I'm. interested in. And so I was able to. create a own my own major because they. didn't have black studies at my school. So I made up the major, right? Black studies with a concentration in. the visual and performing arts. So I. combined the school of social sciences. with the school of theater arts and. film. That meant I had to go back to. Dean Herby. and have him sign off. in order for me to get this major. And.

he was my advisor. So he's the one who. watched me go from straight A's to then. some random [ __ ] And I'm looking at. Dean like, "What? what you gonna do. about this? He's like, you know, I don't really know. what to tell you. I'm like, god damn it, brother. Um, but I came back to him with. that piece of paper and I remember him. looking at it and pausing and I said, I. need you to sign this because you tried. to ruin my life. You told a man that. I need you to sign this. Yeah. When. people tell you that you have to take a. year off of school for no reason because. they want to keep a quota for their.

little college. Yes. You tried to ruin. my life. I need you to sign this. So, what did he say? He signed that. And then I ended up graduating on time. and I was the commencement speaker. and I got to say what I needed to say. and you can watch the speech on YouTube. You got a master's degree in. African-American studies with a. concentration on hiphop from Colombia. Yeah. What made you. what made you need an advanced degree?

Well, that's what I mentioned earlier. It was that I felt like I want to. I want to be a voice of liberation and I. want to use my art to do it. And I know. that in this nation they need you to. have certain, you know, for for whatever reason they. they need you to have certain. credentials to legitimize you. And I. also knew that they would need it from a. predominantly white institution. So Ivy. League, even better. even better. The.

other reason though was um again like I. knew that I'm an artist, but I also and. I also knew that I I had a purpose here. I've always known that. I've always. known that I have a purpose. Even if I. don't know what the purpose is, I've. always known that I have a purpose. And the hardest times have been the. hardest times in my life have been when. I wasn't sure of what that purpose is. And um. at that point in time and I I still have.

the essay like I said I need to come to. Colombia. I I I need to go I need to get this. advanced degree because I want to speak. for my people. I want to speak with my. people. I want to speak like in the ef. in the efforts of my people and I'm. going to need as much information as. possible to do so to the best of my. abilities. You have a concentration in hip-hop. Yeah. What made was it being in New York. and and seeing all this and the battles.

and the going on you like Yeah. Okay. So, what made you do the concentration. in hip-hop? So, in order for. black culture to continue to thrive and. grow, it has to also be protected. Mhm. One of the ways uh that culture gets. protected is it becomes uhized. And you know, we saw that happen with. jazz. We saw jazz go from this like.

music of sex to an actual part of. academia, right? Um hiphop as well was happening at that. time. Like you see like Ninth Wonder. teaching classes and Chuck D and KRS1. and Bun B. And so you started to see. theizing of hip-hop as not just an art. form, but as a culture that has more to. it than just music, right? You got. breaking, you got graffiti, you got. DJing, you got style. You know, it. becomes something that is now a part of. black history versus just like a thing.

that's being done. And so at the time I. was also working at Sirius Satellite. Radio and I would be in my studio and. over there is Dana Dayne. Behind me is. Grandmaster Flash. To the right of me is. MC Light. over there is red alert. I'm. surrounded by the history, right? So I'm like, well, this is an. opportunity for me to put this on record. and have archival study that is growing, you know, with these people. So what I. would do is all of my papers, onethird.

of them would include some interview. with somebody within hiphop. So, no. matter what class I was in, whether it. was within the African-American studies. uh with whether it was in the. African-American studies department or. not, I would find a way to tie whatever. the thesis was of that paper for the. final paper. I would tie that thesis to. hiphop in some way and I would involve. uh interview with, you know, anybody. that made sense. So, like my my graduate. thesis is um about how the hip-hop album.

is a continuation of the. African-American narrative. And so, in. that paper, I do that first part where I. just explain my thesis. The second part. was a comparative analysis between. Richard Wright's Native Son and Biggie's. Ready to Die and showing with the album. when the and the lyrics of Ready to Die. how this is a novel on wax. And then the. third section was interview about the. importance of storytelling to hiphop.

And in that interview it was like. everybody kept saying Nas kept saying. Nas kept saying Nas. Then finally I was. able to interview Nas. And so that's the. third part of it is interview with you. know a lot of people and finally Nas. about the necessity for storytelling in. hiphop and that proved my thesis. You know what? Since you're a hip-hop. scholar, okay, you see all the beefs going on. Are they. good for hip-hop? Are they good for hip-hop? I mean, it's.

a different kind of beefs than the one I. grew up with. Yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, I think anything is good for. hip-hop that elevates skill. Um, I think. anything is good for hip-hop that brings. attention. to hiphop as an art form versus as a. gossip thing. Yeah. I feel like so much. of what we hear about hip-hop ain't even. about the music, right? You know, it's like this [ __ ] and his. baby mama, you know, and this [ __ ] got arrested.

for this [ __ ] you know? So, when. it's something that's really more. focused on the music, I think that is. good for hip-hop. I think it's also. interesting how it went because I think. what's also good for hip-hop is just the. the the maturation of hip-hop, you know, and it is very mature for J.Cole cold to. say, you know, I did this, but then it. didn't feel right. So, I'm stopping. It is. Yeah. But here's the thing. I. grew up the first beef uh uh beef or. this was uh Kumo DNL. Okay. And then, you know, obviously you came.

on, you had uh uh Ice Cube with NWA, no. Vaseline. You had Big Tupac. I mean, you. know, Big and Tupac hit I hit The Him. Up. And then you have Jay-Z and N. That. That's still the hardest one, right? Hit. them up is the hardest. What? Right. Well, come on. Come on. We going to We. going to have to edit this out. Have to. edit this. I That's the hard work. No. Vaseline. coming quickly. You claim to be a [ __ ].

who for life. What? Whoa. Whoa. But so it is normally a. one-on-one. What we see now with the Okay. We see. Ross coming at Drake. We see Kendra. Lamar. We see this. We see future in. Metro. It seemed like they all like. Drake is Thanos and everybody coming at. him. Did I miss something? That's a different I hadn't I hadn't. seen it like that, but that's not too. far off. Um,

but you know, why not? You know, things. are things ch changes. We need we need. different [ __ ] So, okay. I mean, when. Hoveve came, remember Hoveve didn't just. come at. Nas. He came in Mob Deep as well. Rest in. peace to. Pete. Yeah. He put a lot of He was on that that. screen. Yeah. That that that Summer Jam. screen. I came in Moby also. I know. I know. I know. Um it being it.

um. So, what's up with the women beef? You. okay with the women beefing? Beef is a part of hip-hop. Okay. I just want it to stay on the wax, you know? That's that's really the goal. is that for it to stay on wax, but it it. challenges you. It forces you to get. your lyrics up. And that's what as long. I just want to see people rap, right? I want to see people like rap. Well, that's really it. Like to me, and I know. people gonna fight me for this, but.

y'all already want to fight me anyway. I. feel like Nas won the Jay-Z beef because. Jay-Z's skill in my opinion dep like. diminished on that last rap when he's. talking about I left a condom on your. Yeah. I was like now see that that's not. even. I got to hit you I got to hit you low. No, I got to hit you low. You don't talk. to No, you ain't going to get me. I'mma go low. I'm going low. But he started it. I keep telling you you'll get the best. of me. When they go high, I go low. I'm. not saying that you can't go low, but I.

just felt like his rhyme quality, like normally Hoveve would have done. that in a very metaphorical clever way. But that's the old I mean now I don't. Hov is above that now. He wouldn't even. he wouldn't even dignify any response. somebody talking about then. Yeah, but I I but you got I got to get. you. You think Ho won that beef? That's what No, no, no. But that's what I'm talking about. But it's just like just like when Park. said he said I hit your wife. I thought. wife was off limit. Shannon, I'm not I'm not talking about.

what they said. I'm talking about how. they said it. Yeah. Like Pac delivered that [ __ ] in the way. Pac delivers [ __ ]. Yeah. He didn't change up. the Hoveve. I know. The Hoveve who says. things like, "Can't stop by from. drinking my ties with tata. Haha. Papa. life.". Yeah. That seemed like a diminishment of his. skill set. That's all I'm saying. A toast. You shouldn't have to worry when you buy. tickets to your next big event. Game. time is the fast and easy way to buy.

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Game Time. Download the Game Time app. Create an account. Use the code Shay for. $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply. again. Create an app. Redeem the code. shay for $20 off. Download Game Time. today. Last minute ticket, lowest price. guaranteed. You're a poet and uh this. you were in a group called Floyer, right? Is that And you replaced one of I. guess one of the founding members, Natalie. Yeah. Natalie. And.

read a lot. that you weren't wellreceived. Do you. know. who? I mean, if they're turning the back, they're booing. I mean, I guess the. people that you trying to read the. poetry to. Incorrect. Okay. Correct me. I will write about this extensively. Um, I was asked to join Flowetry after. Natalie to I was told that Natalie left.

Apparently, that was not the case. Okay. But that's what I was told. Okay. And then uh we prepared to go on tour. and they did not tell the fans that. Natalie would not be joining Marca on. the tour. Okay. So when I come on stage, I do not. resemble Natalie in any shape, way or. form. Right. Right. Um, so immediately our first show in. Boston, people are like, "Well, who the. [ __ ] is this bitch?". But I can sing and I know the songs. So. the first show, great time. Good job.

But now the word is out. Natalie ain't. on the tour, right? It's Amanda. Whoever this broad is, it's. Amanda Seals. Well, actually, no, I had. a name by then because I had done MTV, right? So, uh, we now. went from Boston. The next show that we. were doing was. somewhere else. I can't remember, but. maybe Philly. Okay. Um, and so I guess to just correct the. scenario, it's not that people were mad. at me because of how I was delivering.

the work. It was that they felt duped. by the ticket sales because they had. bought tickets to see the flowry. knew. and they were protesting that this was. not the flowry they knew. Nonetheless, every time I won them over because I am. talented. Okay. So, every time I won them over and uh I. remember, you know, being at Club Love. in DC and they had their backs turned to. the stage and it was like I had to it.

was like I was on the voice, you know, I. had to get them to turn them to spin. them chairs around. but I sang my I sang my song. That really happened. So, they really. My [ __ ] Yes. Yes. What are you talking. about? Yes. Do you mind if I call you my. [ __ ]. You call me whatever you like. I mean I. mean I mean that's a that's a proof. I'm talking about literally like And. then I'm over here. All you got to do is. say yes. And they like. what you feel. Let me undress you. Baby,

maybe this little skinny light-kinned. [ __ ] got something with her. Yeah, that. really happened. But I wasn't doing. poetry. I was singing. Okay. So Okay. And you went like, "Okay, they like this. They like Amanda." Okay. Yeah. But. Marsha. never made it any easier. Why? Why? Yes. Why? Why did Okay, now. I think I think I think I think this is.

now. See what I'm saying? I think I. don't know. Okay. This is your point of view. This. is your POV. I think that they wanted me. to quit. Why? Because then she could proceed on the. tour by herself and she was in the. process of going into her solo career. And the way that I was treated was so. just shitty that I think they were. really trying to force me to quit. And. they almost did. They almost got me out. of that. And you said, honestly, it wasn't even me who said it.

It was our drummer at the time, Daryl. And me and Daryl didn't even rock with. each other, but he spoke into me and he. was like, cuz I was really like these. people. I'm out of here. I'm out of. here. This because every show we would. come on the stage and she would not even. say my name. And every night she would. say to me, "Okay, so this is how we're. going to start the show tonight." So I. never got a rhythm. Can you imagine you. on the football field and every night. the quarterback come with a play you. ain't never ran before? You ain't never. seen this [ __ ] And he like, "All right,

we're going to do we're going to do a 52. banana split with a cherry on top.". You're like, "Nigga, we ain't never done. that before. I thought we was doing the. banana parfait, right? So that's what every single night and it. would get more and more egregious. I. just never forget we was in North. Carolina and she was like, "All right, so how we're going to do this is I'm. going to come on stage. I'm going to. start singing um butterflies and then. you're going to come on stage, but. you're going to like dap up the the the. other m the musicians, but I'm already. going to be singing. I'm already going. to be singing. You're going to dap up. the musicians and you're going to come.

on stage. after you dap up the musician, you'll just like start singing and then. we'll just do the show. And I was like, so at no point you're gonna say like. this is Amanda Seals. And she was like, I just don't want to I just don't want. to disrupt the audience. Now, if I'm. being generous, maybe she was just. trying to mitigate the. I don't know, maybe she was just trying. to mitigate the the nastiness from the. audience. But like, if that was the. case, she wasn't communicating that to. me. So, I felt very very very very. isolated in the situation and like. nobody was communicating this to me. So, at no point in time after Natalie left.

the group, okay, you do the first show. in Boston and then you go to Philly or. you go to Baltimore or whatever, did she. say Natalie is no longer in the group. We have a lovely other lady named Amanda. and she's unbelievable. No. No. And we didn't do press and I. remember Wendy Williams. So, we get to Atlanta. Okay. Now, um, what people didn't know was that. even before any of this had started, I. was music director. So,

oh, God, come on. You a. months before. You ain't supposed to do that. I didn't even know he was the music. director. I was already this [ __ ]. before. But then once you find out, you like, I. can't do this. Well, no. My point is that I had an. insider. Oh. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. So, you. had you had some good intel. Okay. That's all I'm saying. Yeah. So, you know, so he going to tell. you everything. All you got to do is say. what you feel. Let me undress you, baby.

So, he's telling you. So, we're in Atlanta and I had a solo. song that I would sing. It was one of my. songs. So, we're in Atlanta and um after. rehearsal, he pulls my coat. He's like, "Hey, um she trying to she trying to cut. your song." But she didn't tell me this. He's like, "She literally cut your song. from the set list.". Yeah. Which would mean that we would be in the. middle of the show and I would realize. that my song is not happening. And you going to be out there like,

"Damn, where my song?". So, uhoh. I said I said, "For show, for show, for. show." Okay. But now we got to get in. the car together. Me and Marca, we got. to get in the car together to go back to. the hotel. On the way to the car, my boy Dwight. Willisy texts me and says, "Hey, you. listen to Wendy Williams?" Also, like, why am I just casually listening to. William Williams? But he's like, "Turn. on Wendy Williams." Natley is on Wendy. Williams. Natley is on Wendy Williams talking.

about the real Flowetry. I don't know. who Viv Samanda is. I'm not sure how she. got involved, but I am the real. Flowetry. Or I am the real flowry. I'm. working on my accent. I'm the real. Flowetry. And so if you're going to. these shows, just know you don't support. any real flowry. We're sitting in the. car. and I just found out you're trying to. cut my song. And I said, "Did you try to. cut my song from the show?" I don't know. what you're talking about. I said, "I. was told that you trying to cut my song. from the show." And she's like, "Who told you that?". She actually didn't ask. She actually. didn't ask. Um to my recollection, she.

didn't ask. But nonetheless, it was just. like, "I want my song on the show.". And so she's like, "All right, whatever." But now I'm text I'm seeing. from Dwight that like Natalie is on. Wendy Williams talking crazy. So I run. up to the So now I'm like yo apparently. Natalie's on Wendy Williams. So now we. turn this [ __ ] on in the car. We sitting. in the car listen to this. She ain't. saying nothing. We get to the hotel. I. go to the room. I'm still listening. Natalie is burning me up. She's like I'm.

still no real. She's fake. This is all. fake. Fake fake. Fake. So now Marsha calls me like, "Did you. listen?" I said, "Yeah, what you gonna. do about it?". Nothing. I said, "Oh, okay." And this is this is. a trend of me not being protected, right? Okay. Did you actually think she was going to. protect you considering that she had. never given you the proper recognition, the proper identification? She'd never.

given you the proper. I shouldn't have, but I did. Okay. I shouldn't have but I did because I. always expect and this is also a flaw. but I always hope for the best in people. because Shannon. you hop in people what you have what you. do yourself. we talked about this earlier we got to. stop that. I know but it feels so defeated to do it. but it's it's true but it feels like. you're giving into.

the it just feels like you're giving. giving into the worst parts of existence. to do it. That's what it feels like. It. feels very. um nei. But it is the only way that you can. really protect yourself. And my my co-host Supreme on my radio. show always he be like, "Amanda, most people are full of [ __ ] If you. would just accept this, you would have. such less heartache." And I'm like, "I.

know, but So you. I just want them to not be. So now Okay. So now she didn't do nothing. Yeah. Well, she didn't do anything. You. feeling some type of way too now. I can. see it. I see it right now. Well, um, what most people think is. feeling some type of way for me is. actually just me being hurt. It's. really, it's just it just reads because. of the type of human I am and the way. that my my my self is set up, it reads. as anger, but it really is deep hurt. That's what you're reading. And I.

and betrayal and I'm giving so much of. myself to this and to your point ain't. [ __ ] been right up to this point. So it. is a straw on a camel, you know. So I'm like, okay. man, I'm out now. I I call the the music. director like, "Yo, this [ __ ] just got. ridiculous." He's like, "Yo, I'm about. to come to your room. Let's talk." I'm. like, "Okay." This [ __ ] never comes to. the room. I come downstairs. He's.

talking to a white chick at the bar. I'm. like, "God, the one that you used to I thought he. came up there for one last suaree." That. what I was thinking. cuz that would have made sense. Yeah, for sure. The pain away, you know. But no. So, I. then called my home girl to take me to. the airport. Okay. So, I call my mom and. I'm like, "Buck me a ticket. I'm out of. here. I'm out of here cuz I've reached. my wit's end." And again, I have no. allies here. I I had I had a manager who. was none of the above. Okay, this [ __ ].

sent me on the road with no contract. talking about, "Well, you should just be. happy they asked you. what." So, I want you to follow the. themes in this interview. I want you to. follow two themes, misunderstood and not. protected. I want you to follow those. themes, okay? Because you've noticed. it's themes. You followed the theme of. racism, but I want you to follow those. other themes because they're important. They're important to understanding. someone like me. And when you have not.

been protected and you are. misunderstood, what are you going to. naturally develop? Defense mechanisms. For sure. You. have to protect yourself. Yes. There's no other way. No. They will tear you up. They will eat you alive. Right. And if you're if you're creating. these things also within the context of. autism, within the context of already. speaking a certain way, thinking a. certain way, you are setting yourself up. for a very hard road. But you're not. even the one setting yourself up. I take. that back. You are set up for a hard.

road. In the midst of all of this. though, you are brilliant. You have talent. and you are in a field. that that's the only way that those. things really work in. You know, it's. not like I can go be the theatrical. seals like at the hospital, you feel me? Like this is where I have. to be. So, so I was about to leave. I. was about to leave and um. the drummer who we used to we used to.

clash cuz we both had these like really. big personalities that we hadn't matured. into yet, you know. Um. he hit me and he said, "You can't leave. You cannot leave because if you leave, they'll win. and they want you to leave and you. cannot let them win." And he said, "Because later in life, you will look. back on this and you will say, I I. stayed and I was strong and it's going. to matter. It's going to matter." And he was right. And so that night,

um, I ended up saying, I came back and. we had a show that night and we had a. conversation before the show. And you. know the 48 laws of power, it can be. used in a very duplicitous fashion, but. sometimes it is useful when you're. dealing with folks. that just can't see you because of their. own blind spots. And I'm a very very emotionally. intelligent person. And so a lot of. times I end up having to do the. emotional labor for other people to get.

us through. Right. It's exhausting. It's exhausting. Can I ask you this? In your life, how many people do you feel. that have protected you and understood. you? Like you want a number? Yeah. Yeah. Because you say on one hand, I mean at this point I've I've I've. amassed an incredible amount and it's.

been a beautiful evolution. Okay. Um but up until youth Yeah. in my youth. I mean, my mom, that was your rock. And. you know, it's like it's just there's. different processes, right? Like I will. say like my gymnastics coach, you speak very high. You know what? You. speak very highly of your gymnastics. coach and there are a couple of teachers. at John Phillips High School, Dr. Phillips, Dr. Phillips High School that you speak. in glowing terms about and then when you.

speak of them, you radiate. You don't speak, you don't radiate when. you mention anybody else's name, but. when you mention those people's names, your mother, your gymnastics coach, the. people at the uh the instructors at Dr. Phillips High School, you radiate. What was it about them that caused them. to not only understand Amanda, but was. willing to protect Amanda?

Your mom, I get that's your mom. she's. supposed to. because they because they they they saw. what some people consider as flaws. They. saw as strengths. You know, I remember when I started. going to therapy, I started going to. therapy cuz I was like, you know, people. keep telling me that no one likes me and. I do not understand. Did you believe it? That no one likes me. Yeah. Yeah. Because I have low self-esteem. Okay. So, I'm just like, I don't I don't but I.

don't understand. And she I remember her asking me, "Well, what are the reasons why people say they. don't like you?". And I told her, I said, "My tone. Um I'm. they feel that I'm uh like too detail. oriented, like it's annoying.". um you know they tell me like like they. like me being detail oriented they take. it as nitpicky. right. um that I am too demanding whereas like.

for me it's like well no it's like it's. more so just me holding you accountable. um they say that I am. mean but in my version of it it's like. well no I'm just being honest and so we. started working on me being better at. understanding like the neurotypical like. the normal way that things are read so. that I could better. protect myself like that may be the. truth but you don't got to tell it right. now.

you know it and good for you. right. hold that. right. hold that you don't got to tell it right. now. um. it may have been a yes or no question. but people need extra words. I lost a job because I was answering a. yes or no questions. How you lose a job if you answer yes or. no? Cuz you added. because he they were emailing me. Yeah. Asking me yes or no questions. And my. responses were yes. Yes.

And. no. And then finally I got an email that. said, "You know what? We decided to go. with somebody else because by your by. your responses it seems like you're not. interested.". Well, you say answer yes or no. So now you understand me. It took us a. little bit, but you here. So I'm. So they wanted you to say yes, I would. love to have the job because I think. this is amazing opportunity for me and I. just love this company. I think you.

but. get out there and dance, [ __ ]. But Amanda, and black people do it to each other. Amanda, we had the conversation earlier. and what did we say? If you understand. the rules. No, I didn't understand the rules. I'm. just talking then. And I didn't. understand the rules. I didn't understand the rules. We. learned. So I was saying that the. therapy helped you. Yes. But even still, it's like. understanding the rules and like, you. know, then you are who you are. Like. that ends up being in conflict with each. other so often. You know what I'm.

saying? Like you understand the rules, but you're like, in order for me to to. like play this game, I got to like do a. whole renovation of self that's not. going to be an upgrade. It's just me. really just trying to mask to become um. palatable to you. But don't you think realistically there. are a lot more people that dress in. Halloween costumes year round as opposed. to just on that day? I do not want to be those people and. those are not the people that change the. world and that's what I'm here to do.

And I literally went and got my masters. because Rich Bova on the campus of. Purchase College stopped me and held my. hand because he was a psychic and he. would always do readings for people and. he just held my hand and was like, "Well, you got to go get your masters.". And I was like, "God, I thought I was. done with this." And he was like, "No, you got to go get your masters because. you're going to change the world and. you're going to need it to do it.". You believe in psychics? I believe in a lot. Oh my goodness. How can you not believe in psychics and. believe in God? No. No. You're no psychic.

What do you Wait, let's take. No, we're not. No. No. Let's take a moment. Let's take a. moment. Let's take a moment. Yes. If you believe in God, then you believe in a spiritual power. that is greater than all of us. You also believe that there are people. who are able to access that in ways that. others cannot. Do you not? That's what. our pastors do. That's what people who. are Catholics believe priests are doing. And for all intents and purposes, when. we pray, we are attempting to contact. that power. We are attempting to just.

let me finish. We are attempting to tap. in to that power, to tap into that. energy and bring it to us. as we are continuing to bring it to. them. Now, when we vilify the idea of psychics. or witches, etc., a lot of times what's. mixed into that is [ __ ] that ain't got. nothing to do with actual connection to. spirit. Okay? There are people who are operating in. dark spaces and dark places, but there. are people who are tapped in that just. have different names. And so, the idea. of a psychic, like I'm not calling him a.

psychic, a medium, a medium, or somebody who is literally. just more connected. I am very connected. to like I'm empathic. I can feel I'm. very connected to just nature to the the. the vibration of things because I want. to be, but also because I'm an artist, right? Like I can make something from. nothing. Like there's something that is. really unique in that ability to do so. So when I'm talking about someone who is. able to read you, it's not like there. are it's not that they're dealing with.

dark magic. It's that they are able to. see. There are prophets. So, it's just language, but as long as. it's done in love, it's all coming from. the same place. Pastors seem to have been accessing. people's bank accounts a lot lately. That is very true. And that is why we. have to always be careful about who is. at the pulpit. So, you're. one of your first jobs in New York was a. radio host. How'd you get you you know. what? I feel like I didn't finish that.

previous story. Go ahead. Tell it for tell it. Oh, flowry. Yes. Let me finish it. Okay, tell it cuz I thought you was done. with uh. because Well, no. Well, I just feel like. it's important to note that with the 48. laws of power, I realized in that. moment, oh, I have to win the I have to. let her win the battle to win the war. Okay. And my ego has to be removed in order to. do that. And I that's something I had to. learn in that moment. Like ego is not. serving you here. And I really don't. have an ego in that way. Like I can. really often see like.

there's a bigger picture here. And so I. had to let her know that I was not a. threat to her and I realized that for. some reason she was like see treating me. that way. I don't know if that was her. So you actually had a conversation with. Yeah. Right before the show and I had to. tell her like I just want you to like. me. I just want you to feel safe with me. here. I just want you to see me as. someone who is not trying to step on. your toes cuz that's what it feels like. And if that's not what it is, so be it. But if that's what it is, I just want. you to know that that's not what I'm.

trying to do. So, I had to make myself. small. so that she could not feel like I was. trying to take her place. And after. that, we had no problems. I don't know that, Amanda. You don't know much, Amanda. Yeah. I I mean, I'm I'm the man that made. herself shrink down. I mean, it went. down to honey, I shrunk the kid, baby, I know what to do. That's the part. that people don't understand is that I. It's not even that you necessarily are. shrinking. It's that you understand. It's like if.

you're on a field and you know that in. this play I'm not the star. Yes. In this play all I need to do is block. this so that this ball can get to this. point. Yes. That's the point. And I am that person. I know what role I'm playing on the. field. Yes. You can be good at any game if you. understand the rules. There you go. From an hour ago. And you. don't talk to me like that.

Dab it up. No. Can I call you my sister? Time out. Can I call you my sister to dab it up? No. Come on. You You I I want I You playing. with me. because what you're saying is not. accurate to the situation. Yes, it is. No, because the game We're talking about. two different games. No. In that moment, you realize you. I'm not arguing that point. I'm not. arguing that point. You were saying that. it's easier if you understand the game. And all I was saying was that I don't. know that it's easier, but it definitely.

is important. cuz it wasn't necessarily easy, let me. tell you. But it was necessary and I. didn't and if I'm if I'm being honest, I. don't know that I would call it the game. as much as I would call I mean I use. that as a metaphor, but it's like you. could use that example in a in an. operating room like if you're the nurse, you're not with the scalpel, but you are. important and you know your role in this. situation and that is fine. It's the. lieutenant and the and the captain, right? Like you just have to understand. that. And when you do, your ego doesn't.

matter. because you your ego is not based on. being at the top. Your ego is based on. not your ego is based on being useful. Yes. And that that really is what I feel like. a lot of people in this society are not. realizing. We have this main character. energy that a lot of people are just. really built into. And it's like. everybody needs to feel like they're the. star, they're at the top, their name is. on this, etc. Yeah. And there's so many other ways to be of. value. And a lot of people are not cut. for being the leader. They not cut for.

being the star. And they in these. positions and they don't know how to. [ __ ] act. And they're actually. really being. You stay on the tour. You work at uh you. and uh. Marsha. Marsha. Y'all hash out your diff. You. hash them out or you just y'all make. peace to get through the tour. No, after that it was fine because I had. I let her know that I wasn't a threat to. her. So then it's not a problem. How were you? It was her It was her. show, right? So how.

I can't, you know, all I can do is my. best. So you did end up leaving the show. No, I did the whole tour. You did the whole tour. did the whole. tour and then after we were going to be. a group called Floor Tree Remix and so. um. her manager kept playing around with my. manager around it and then she had me. make a MySpace page for us and then she. didn't accept the friend request. Oh,

yep. And that was the end of it. And then I. just did my own music and I put out my. album Life Experience. Have you talked to her since? I actually saw her at Usher's show. recently and she went to hug me and I. was like, "No, I'm good.". Come on, you didn't do that. Come on. now. Don't be Don't be Don't be petty. Leel, how was that petty? God, she was she really after all them. years. Yeah, after all them years. What What am.

I hugging her for? That's not my. peoples. I don't First of all, I'm not a. hugger in general, but that's not Yeah. See, I'm not petty. I'm not phony. I'm. not gonna hug people that are not my. people. If you treat me like [ __ ] in. real life, don't try to hug me at a. party. When you. cuz I won't hug you back. It's a song. If you treat me like [ __ ] in real life, don't try to hug me at a party. cuz I won't hug you back. That's not a song you made. But here's. the thing. I can't believe you. I can't.

believe you would do that. That was That. was. I am who I am. People know who I am. And. that's a beautiful thing. The person I. am is beautiful because you don't never. have to guess. People like me are a. blessing. You don't ever have to guess. And so much of this life is people not. wanting to deal with the real and just. hiding in the shadows. And instead of. honoring, honor is a strong word, but. instead of, you know, regarding and. respecting people who are straight. ahead, we treat them like they are a. nuisance. We treat them like they are um.

a disruption when really they are a gift. because it really removes the guesswork. of subtext. It removes the guesswork of. um ulterior motives. I am what I am. What you see is what you get. Whatever. you hear me saying is what I'm saying. It and and to me that is such an easier. route, you know. and and I found people. in my life over time that really see. that that is such a a dope way to exist. and it's been a blessing. So when you.

asked me earlier about like people who. have protected me and like people who. understand me like it's those people. people who see that as a gift not as an. attack. Have you ever hugged anybody that you. didn't like or shake shook their hands? I mean, I'm sure I did when I was less. um sure of myself and when I felt like I. needed to play the game. You know, I've. had an I had, you know, I've had. self-esteem and inferior to complex. issues for a long time and I've had to.

learn how to love myself as who I am and. be okay with that and also understand. the repercussions of that. Okay, that's okay. We can move on now. We we. good with we good with Marsha? Oh, yeah. Cuz I want to talk about the radio. I. want to talk about you because you at. the intro you've done a lot of things. Yes. Your your resume is extensive. No, seriously. No. No. No. No. No. bulldog. No real talk. Mhm. And.

I don't know if you really know or maybe. people haven't told you. Maybe you just. And we we're all wired like this. We. kind of hear more hear the negativity. than the positive because being the next. professional athlete, the losses haunt. me more than the wins, right? I remember a loss way more than I. Doesn't that suck? It's like so. irritating that our brains are wired. that way. It's like how this is not. helpful. Yeah. Yeah. The parades don't bring me. the joy that the hurt and the losses.

I feel you. So your first job and one of the first. jobs you had, you were a radio host. Did. you how did you get into radio? Um I was a spoken word poet. Okay. So I did like deaf poetry jam when I was. in college and. um I would do slams and you know all of. that. And I ended up performing at a. Jesse Jackson rainbow push benefit.

and I just remember it being like. pouring rain and I still was like no I'm. going to rainbow push to get there. Right. And there was a brother there, uh, Ken Spellelman, who. gave me his card and was like, you know, we should talk about you doing radio. But like, listen, brothers give you a. car, give you that card. You think it's so seen? You be like, all right, all right. So, I went back to purchase. and the card was sitting on my desk and. um I hadn't called him, it was like a.

week and my home girl was sitting at my. desk cuz she was like using my computer. and she was looking at the card. She was. like, "Oh, wow. this office is at. Rockefeller Center. And I was like, whose office is at Rockefeller Center? She was like, the the card that you have. on your desk from Who's this card from? And I was like, oh, that's that's the. guy I met at the um at the rate at the. the benefit. She was like, I think this. is legit. And I was like, huh? And I. looked at I was like, "Oh [ __ ] I didn't. even realize this. I thought it was like. Homeboy LLC.". So I called him and he was like, "I'd.

love for you to come to the radio and. like, you know, I want to interview you. as a poet, etc." I didn't realize that. when I went to the radio and he was. interviewing me about poetry, he was. actually interviewing. you for a job, me for the job. So, I ended up getting a. job as a radio host at Sirius and I was. hosting like these two stations that. were kind of like just esoteric and all. over the place and eclectic. And then I. graduated. So, that was in March of. 2020. O. no, baby, that was in March of 2003.

Three. Yeah. Wow. Cuz I started at Sirius in 2004. I did. radio for Sirius. Okay. So I I started there in 2003 and. then nine months later. So I've. graduated now. I'm sitting in. actually no the these two guys that were. on the hip-hop station uh I they were. standing in their boss's office, but the. office had two sections and they were in. the front section. I had just peaked my. head in to say hi and they're like, "Oh, what's up?" And they had like the. Outcast album in front of them. Uh. Speaker Box Love Below was in front of. them and I was like, "Oh man, I love.

that album." They were like, "Yeah, we're supposed to interview them um. later today. You know, we're really. excited, but we really don't know a lot. about Outcast." So, I start going in cuz. I'm an Outcast fan, right? So, I start. going in, and while we're talking, their. boss, who's on the other side of the the. cubicle, gets a call that they have to. move the interview to the next day. So, he's like, "Hey guys, they got to move. the interview to tomorrow." And they're. like, "Oh [ __ ] we can't do it. We won't. even be in town." And he's like, "Well,". and he like knew of me cuz I was on this. I was at Sirius. He was like, "Hey, um, you sound like you know a lot about.

Outcast. Do you want to do the. interview?". Yes. So, that was my first interview. My. very first interview was with Outcast. Wow. And um. Yeah. Like I I love me some Outcast. And then and so then I was at Sirius for. a few years. Um, and uh, yeah, I don't want to tell another. negative story. So, no,

then I wasn't that serious, right? What happened? How you how you I. mean, you you a magician because you. magically appear at a job and then you. just disappear. What other version of that is there? I'm just saying. that's the only job I got fired from. This is the only job I've ever. How you get fired? So, my boss was this brother who's who I. will not even honor by naming him. Okay. Um, he had a little ass chain and a high. booty.

Okay. And he had a poster of Condisa Rice and. uh he would send us memos. with um intros from different generals. Like there would be like a memo with. like a paragraph from General McCarthy. and Norman Schwarzoff. I'm like, "This. is hip-hop, [ __ ] What do we wh why why. am I being just why am I having to deal. with this?" And he uh came into my. studio. Well, the first time we ever.

met, I went to dap him and he said, "Keep it corporate.". Whoa. So, that the f that was our very first. interaction. I went to and he said, "Keep it corporate." I said, "Okay.". Remember, I'm 21, right? Okay. Uh then a week later he came into. my studio and he said, "So, you know, I. just wanted you to know that um. I know that you're spoiled and I'm going. to expose you.". Huh? And I'm 21.

and I'm in New York, right? Yeah. So, my instinct my instinctual response to. that is I have to prove him wrong. And. my way to prove him wrong is I have to. pull him in, you know? I have to show. him. No, like. I'm Amanda. Like I'm not spoiled. I've. worked really hard for all of this [ __ ]. Like get out of here. So I spent the. next two years really doing my best to. um. to to make shorty swing my way, so to.

speak. Uh not in a romantic way, but in. a professional way. So I'm showing up. early. I'm staying late. You know, I'm. doing all the interviews. Um, everybody. knew me at at Sirius because I am a true. full-fledged hiphop head, you know what. I'm saying? So, they knew that when they. brought their artists there, like it's. going to be a real interview. It's not. just going to be some canned that they. get everywhere else. So, I got really. cool with the radio um, execs, etc. So, you know, and then at one point in time, um, so once I went on tour with. Flowetry, he flipped. He flipped because.

he wanted to be a star and I was be I. was like in his mind, I guess, getting. stardom. So once I went on flow with. tour with flowry I was like oh I could. be I could record on tour and he just. was not let it happen. Once I came back. from the flowy tour it was never cool. again right. never cool again. And he started doing. weird stuff like lying about people. coming to the show you know to the. station. And so I remember at the time I. was seeing Lupe and um Lupe hit me and.

was like uh why am I coming to the radio. station? I'm not going to interview with. you. And you know he don't know that. So now I'm like why is Lupe Fiasco. coming to the radio station but he's not. interviewing with me? He's like well how. did you even know he was coming? You. don't need to know how I know that. The question is why are you. keeping me Yeah. Like why are you. keeping me out? He said you needed to. give other people a chance. Mind you, I'm not stopping anybody else. Right. Um. but if they want to interview with you, they want to interview with you. But.

also the way Sirius is set up, as you. know, they're going to interview with a. myriad of people, right? So I am not in any way, you're not the only one they're. interviewing with. Yeah. He's just trying to keep them from. interviewing with me, right? Um I remember Ho came and he was just. like sitting in the lobby and I had come. in to work and I was like, "What are you. doing? You just sitting here?" He was. like, "Yeah." I was like, "You want to. do an interview real quick? I got a. studio." He's like, "Yeah, no problem.". So we go do the interview. They tried to. fire me cuz they said I interviewed.

Jay-Z without clearance. Now, you know, they should have been applauding you. and it was pre-recorded. So, like if you didn't want to use the. interview, you didn't have to use the. interview. But they tried to say that I. was like stepping outside of, you know, the the protocol. But it aired on their station. It wasn't. like you you aired it somewhere like it. was like I got this interview. I'mma put. it on my IG page. I'll put it on my my. Facebook page. It aired on there.

So. So there's a book called The Gifted. Adult. Yeah. And in this book, within the first two. pages, they give two examples of adults. who are gifted and it shows up in their. overachievement. It shows up in their um. type A, you know, assessment of. personality, right? It shows up in their. ability to show up. And this becomes a. problem at their jobs. Because people start to feel like. they're outworking them. People start to feel like they're.

outdoing them, right? And then it becomes you think you're. better than me. Yes. So this is the dynamic I have. experienced in many places. So whereas. you said, "Oh, they should be applauding. you." I texted Hoveve on my T-Mobile. sidekick um cuz that was the time and. that just lets you know how old we are. And I was like, "Hey, they're trying to. fire me for interviewing you." And he. said verbatim what you said. He said, "Well, not verbatim, but he said they.

should be promoting you." But notice who. are the overachievers in this. conversation. See how all the. overachievers had the same response, right? No, I'm in the way. I'm in the way. I'm. doing too much. And I'm a girl. I'm a. woman. I'm doing too much. Shut the. Okay. Um, that's what the That's what they think. That's what a lot That's what a lot of. the energy is. A lot of the energy is. shut up and even if I if you won't let. me at least make me think.

I got a chance. Let's just let me just just let me. think. I remember Green Lantern telling. me you know what your reputation is that. you are hard to over and even harder to. And I was like my mother I'm sure is. very proud. But that was so you know at Sirius I um. so what ended up happening was. I went to. um HR. Mhm. And shared with them. This is before I. knew that HR see the game that you be. talking about that I didn't know that. the HR ain't for you. It's for them.

So I went to HR like, listen, I'm having. trouble with my superior. You know, he's. not very kind. And I'm thinking that. they going to set me up to like a. solution. Baby, they said from now on. you will not speak to him. you will. speak to this other person who will. relay to him. Wow. So I'm like I mean I that's not like a. solution but I I I guess you know. So now I do this for a year.

I do this for a year. Um. now I'm dating Push A T. As you can see. that rappers I have dated are very great. MC's because I have high quality. High. quality. You be you got. that was two. I mean say I mean I you. know I mean I'm glad you shared that. information but. well I think it's I think it's valid and. shout to Virginia his beautiful wife and. their beautiful son. right. because we grow up. Yeah. You know we grow up and I think it's. important that we acknowledge that. people have like full lifespans.

Yeah. People have passed. People have. dated other people that that people. might know. You know and I just feel like if I'm who. came before you, you know, I'm a good. I'm a good I'm a good track record. play. So, I remember. I got invited to the uh. MTV Music Awards, right, by Push's manager. They were like, "We're going to be out here. Let us know. if you want to come.".

Now you if you have a someone who's on. radio and they have a hip-hop show and. they can go to the MTV Music Awards, wouldn't you say. you send them. head on out there, bring a DAT machine. and a mic, see how many interviews you. can get. Right? So I tell the person that I have to talk. to to talk to the boss. I'm going to I I. want to go. Can we find someone to cover. my shift? He says yes. He finds someone. to cover my shift. She says your shift. is covered. You can go. I head out. there. While I'm out there, I get a. call. I get a call from my boss saying,

um, you going to the MTV Music Awards is. a example of, um, severe insubordination. and so we will be terminating your. contract. I said, but I followed the protocol. Got someone to cover my shield. I spoke to this other person. He said, well, you were supposed to speak to me. Well, not according to human resource, lol. The person in the back who said, yeah. So I said, "Well, not according to. human resources." He said, "Well,

according to me." So I then um went back. to. You ain't get no interviews. At least. get the interviews and keep them for. yourself. I didn't even have I didn't get I didn't. even have a DAT machine. Oh, okay. Okay. Um but I went back to New York and they. fired me. And then I went on MySpace and. I said, you know, I I did like an. announcement like, you know, you won't. be able to hear my show anymore. I'm. really it's really unfortunate that my. boss, you know, who is a black man, just. didn't feel like it was his necess like. it wasn't necessary for him to protect.

me in this situation. But nonetheless, it is what it is. And I hope that I can. create other ways, you know, to reach. y'all. He saw that post, used it, um, and had me banned from Syria for seven. years. He said that that post was an indication. of my like wanting to come back and like. harm him. That little chain high booty. get you every time get you every time. But you know what? That that that.

situation speaks to a number of. situations where people. hold them people holding me. to a standard they don't hold. So it was like I'mma treat you any old. way and you just going to take you just. need to take it. You just need to accept. it. And I don't know when this happens, Shannon, but even within the zeitgeist. now, it's like I am expected to just. take whatever is given to me and shut. the up. And I will not I don't understand that. No matter what jobs I've had,

if I speak on it, it becomes she's. complaining. It's like, well, I'm I'm. expressing my experience. And if you haven't noticed, remember I. told you I'm just giving you. this happened, then this happened, then. this happened. I'm not speaking to what. they thought. I'm not speaking to how. they made me feel. I'm just telling you. these are the series of events and you. can judge for yourself but ultimately. this idea that like I am somehow not. allowed to have struggle like I'm not. allowed to have a bad experience without. there being this doubt painted on me.

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I remember my really good friend, my. really like my ace boonkun. She. she used to hear me tell stories. and she would be like and she she. revealed this later. She was like, you. know, I would say to myself, no, she. must be leaving something out. There's. no way this could have happened this. way, right? She must be leaving something out. Until. I got kicked out that Emmyy's party. What'd you do to get kicked out the. Emmys party? Damn, we can't take you. nowhere.

What'd you do? I go to a lot of places cuz I'm lovable. and people like me and I'm delightful. Um, I am delightful. What did you do? I arrived. Okay, you arrived. Okay, you're inside. No. So, here's how it went. So, because. Hollywood is just so inundated with. whiteness, there was this conglomeration. of folks that came together to say, "You. know what? We're going to have a black. Emmys party." Cuz you know, have you. been to the Emmys parties? I've never been to an Emmy party. So, like they're just, you know, they're.

just very blah. Like, it's just a bunch. of people sitting around like, am I right? Am I right? Oh my god. Kirsten, Kirsten, Kirsten. Like, that's. the vibe. Um, but you know, when we party, we want. to have a little bit more fun to it. You. know, Cali nice. Um, so what up Derek? So, the in 201. 18 was the first one where they had a. black emmy party. Mh. So basically it's like everybody who. done been to all them other parties.

come in this one. Yes. And I went to that party with Jill. Scott. And one of the people that. planned that party was Issa Ray's. publicist um Vanessa Anderson. So she. was one of the planners of the party. But there's a bunch of people. involved in planning this party. Correct. So I show up with Jill and um Jill's. manager was like, "Hey, you know, can. we" And I remember hearing Vanessa go. like, "Oh, come on, Amanda." Mind you, I'm like, "I don't know what I'm doing. wrong right here. like I'm just standing. with Joe Scott. Uh but nonetheless, we. came in the party. We had a great time.

So, but it and I said to Issa like, "I. don't know what's going on with your. publicist, but like she she got. something wrong. She got a problem with. me." And she was like, "That's between. y'all.". Okay. I said, "Well, it's not really between. y'all cuz I don't have a problem with. her, right? But she seems to have a. problem with me." And she was like, "That's none of my business.". Okay. Okay. So, now next year is 2019. And it was. interesting because in 2018 it was. packed like a dick in front of that. place. In 2019 there was like nobody. there. But I was at the HBO party and.

every black person I saw I would tell. them make sure you go to the Black Emmys. party cuz I am about creating community. and I want us to be together. Right. So I pull up with my home girl Cathy and. Kendrick Samson who's on Insecure. You know the show where I don't have any. friends. Yeah. Um so I pull up with. Kendrick Samson. So, we get to the door. and I learned later that she just is. white passing, but this is a Mexican. girl, but like she looked like a white. girl. Okay. So, she at the at the door. for the for the.

Emmy for what kind of party? Emy's black party. There you go. So, she tells us, "You can. go in. You can go in. You can't go in.". Now, I'm think she's talking to my. friend because my friend is a realtor, right? Um, and she says, "No, you can't go in.". And I said, "Well, why can't I go in?". She says, "You're just on the list to. not be able to go in." Now, I had also. been invited to this party directly by. Jesse Williams. Right. So, Jesse Williams had texted me and.

said, "Please come to the Black Emmys. party.". Right. Okay. So, I'm like, "All right, I'mma. come. I'mma come to the Black Emmys. party." Yeah, of course. Like, that's. what I am about. So, I come to the party. and I'm like, "Okay, uh, why am I not being let in?" H. Kendrick says, "I'm going to go look. I'm going to go look around and see why. you're not being let in.". Well, baby, I'm not standing outside no. party, right? So, I head out, but then I'm stopped by.

just by this brother, Joey Harris, who. works with Janet Jackson. Joey's like. And Joey's like one of these people. who's just always. he's his disposition is just always like. glowing. It's kind of like Jordan, right? So he's like, "Um, where are you going?". I'm like, "Oh, they said I can't they. won't let me in the party." He's like, "Absolutely. not. Come on back. We going to get you. in this party." Okay. So we come back. and so this is an example of someone. trying to protect and look out, right? So he brings me back and he's like, "Why. are you not letting her in the party?".

By the way, at this time I'm hosting. Bring the Funny on NBC, right? There is a billboard the size of. a hotel two blocks away with me and my. co-stars on the show, Chrissy Tegan, Jeff Foxworthy, and um Kenan Thompson. And can I just put a pin in this really. quick to give them their props? I had a real hard time on Insecure and. I'll get to that, but. being on this show was so affirming.

because everyone there was so just happy. to be happy and I hadn't experienced. that on that set. Like from the. showrunner to the writers to my my stage. manager Roger to my co-stars like I just. got to be myself, right? And it really let me know it's. not you, it's the environment. And I don't get to talk enough about. like the positive [ __ ] because people. are always so attracted to the negative.

But I remember day one Chrissy Tegan I. we had to do rehearsals for the first. day and they had me in these stilettos, Shannon. Oh my god. Like I would have. had you in the work pool. Yes. The feet. were crying and it was I had an injury. from these [ __ ] stilettos. And the. next day, Chrissy Tegan brought a foot a. foot massage from um Sharper Image and. left it in my dressing room for the. duration of the shoot. Like that's the kind of people, you. know, just generous for no reason, right? And we just had a blast. We had. such a good time. And I remember Jeff. Foxworthy one time.

they wanted us to do this ad where we. had to pass around a drink. And I don't. drink, so it's like I don't mind drinks. being around, but like me pretending. like I drink ain't ain't my job, right? So, I was like, I just don't feel. comfortable doing this. Now, it becomes. a thing. This is how I get labeled. difficult. cuz I didn't get we didn't get any prep. for this. But you need to go along with. whatever they give you. Didn't you know. that? Whatever they give you, you. supposed to do. No. Well, when you're a woman, it's even. more [ __ ]. stirring up trouble. So Jeff Foxworthy.

saw [ __ ] going left and he stepped in. and he said, "Yeah, I don't feel. comfortable with it either.". Wow. He used his fame, his white manness, you. know, he used his disposition to just. take the heat off me. He said, "I got. you.". To this day, I really want to do a show. with Jeff Foxy where we just like fish. and talk [ __ ] Like that's a goal I want. to do. Let me know if you want to. You been fishing?

I've been present while someone is. fishing, but I have not been given a. rod. So, you hadn't had a rod or a pole in. your hand. So, but I have I have dated men from the. south. I have been present and had. crappy cooked for me. Yes. Oh, okay. So, yes. So, I think you' be more of a a shore. fisherman, you know, on the land cast. Can't be in the boat. Oh, Lord. I'm I'm generally. Yeah. Yeah. But I'm saying we go we go. we go baby step. Yeah. We go baby step. Yeah. It's harder in the boat than on the. land. Yeah, probably. So, really. cuz you're not as now it all.

I thought because I thought there were. more fish in the center. There more fish out. Yeah, but when they. go way out there, they're they're. normally fishing for a particular type. of fish. Like when you on when you're on. the shore, you fish for anything to. bite. Catfish, crappy, you know. Uhhuh. Perch, bass. But normally when you go. out, you fish for, you know, maybe. you're trying to catch tuna, you. branzino, something like that. Tuna. snapper. Yes. Okay. I'm into it.

You know about this. You just never. actually had a rod in your hand and like. brought it in. Oh, so. I am um I hyperfixate. So I know a lot. about a lot of things because I become. immersed. Yes. So like I'm a scuba diver so I know. a lot about fish. And then at one point. it was like I'm going to learn. everything I know about dogs. And now. I'm going to learn everything I need to. know about Game of Thrones. I'm going to. learn everything I need to know about, you know, uh NCAA football. Like I mean. like but I do know a lot about fish. So you say you.

so cuz I'm I'm I'm in the middle of a. story and sometimes I veer off but I. always come back. cuz I want to make sure we get to the. your insecure role. So I just wanted to shout that out. because Bring the Funny was a beautiful. experience and it was super super do. super duper super duper dope. So when. we're here and Joey Harris is trying to. get me in this party. The white girl. says again, um, well, the white passing girl says. again, "Yeah, no, she can't come to the. party.". So Joey's like, "You come inside and.

figure out what's going on again. I'm. not about to stand out here, right?". So I started to walk away again and now. Elijah Kelly comes out. He's like, "Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Where you going?". I said, "They they they not trying to. let me in this party. that I was invited to, right, by Jesse Williams.". Um, did you attempt to call Jesse? Did I attempt to call Jesse? I texted. him. Okay. Um, but he's in a party, right? You know, so I texted him. Uh, so then. Elijah is like, "Well, I'm one of the.

planners. of the party, so they can't stop you. from they can't stop me from bringing. you in, right?". So, he starts to bring me in, and home. girl grabs my arm, but I remember when I told you I've been. a New Yorker since I was 12, so I had to. shake that off. Yeah. Lose me. Yeah, crazy. So, we go in. the party and I go and sit down. No, sorry. I go in the party, I go by the. bar. My home girl goes to the bathroom. I'm standing by the bar and a security. guard approaches me. A security guard your size approaches me.

and says, "Hey, um, I'm going to have to. ask you to leave.". And I said, "Well, why do why why why do. I need to leave?" And he said, "Because. um you're you're being asked to leave.". I said, "Well, who's asking me to. leave?" He said, "Well, let me go find. out.". Well, why did he ask? Well, I mean, you. came and say something. They're asking. you to leave and you don't know who's. asking me to leave. You got to go find. out. He was given an order. Yes. So, now he comes back and uh he says,

"Vanessa Anderson is asking you to. leave." I said, "Well, you need to find. Vanessa and have her come tell me. herself.". Is that Easter Race Public? Yes. I said, "Well, you need to have Vanessa. come and find me and tell me herself.". So he then leaves again and comes back. with three other men. And one of the men now is a brother and. he's walking towards me cursing. So he's. literally walking towards me saying, "You need to get the out of here. You. need to leave." And I'm like, mind you,

I'm I'm dressed down, honey. Okay. And. he's like, "You need to leave." Now. Cathia was in the bathroom. She's now. just come up. And I'm looking around and. I can see people seeing the. right. So I'm like, why do I have to. leave? Cuz we said so. So there's like. violent energy and language coming. towards you, right? Um. I ain't no sucker. Okay. Mhm. And. but I'm also not stupid. I can't fight.

for men. So like I mean, right? So. I. the the first one who was kind, he had. come up right here, but then the other. three were right here. So I have to. realize I've lost this fight. Mhm. So I pivot to leave, but I pivot really. fast cuz I'mma still save my mother. peace. So when I pivot and I say I I pivot to. go you I guess they thought I was about. to do something. So the white guy steps. in between me and the two the and the.

brother and chest bumps me and throws me. back. Right. So now this is an assault cuz I hadn't. raised my hand to do anything to. anybody. So luckily I'm nimble in a. heel. So I I but now it's like you know now. I've been assaulted. So your natural. response So I'm about to go Super Saiyan. on these mother this Goku over here. I'm. like, "Ah.". Yeah. And I hear in one ear I hear the.

security guard saying, "Please, Amanda, don't do it." And it be it feels like, "Please, Miss Silly, don't do it. Don't. be like me, Miss Silly. Don't be like. Miss Sophia." And then in the other ear, I have my home girl who's from the Bronx. like, "What the is going on? This is. some bullshit." And all I'm hearing is. beep. But I look around and I see nobody. coming to my aid. all these agents and people that I see. around now. None of them are insecure. None of them are the actors from. Insecure. Um, but there's people whose faces I. still remember. and they will not get a hug in a party.

either. I just refused somebody a hug. the other day for this. Um, and. I realized like you you got to go. So, we walk outside and the security guard. says to me, you know, I'm so sorry. Like, I'm just doing my job. And I said, 'I I I feel you, but you have to ask. yourself, is it worth doing a job that makes you. go against your moral compass? And he was like, damn. So, I hope he. left that job cuz he could tell that he.

was in he was mixed up in some bull. So, we're in a back alley. like waiting for a car and I'm crying. cuz this feels like, you know, I've been. humiliated. and I didn't do nothing. And that was. the night that me and my home girl. became super like that became my sister. because she was like when you would tell. me that [ __ ] would happen to you, I. would think she must be keeping. something out, right? But I literally. just watched you do nothing. You. literally just came somewhere you were. invited, right?

And even though you tried to leave, multiple people said, "No, you belong. here.". Multiple people. Another person on this. team said, "You belong here, so I'm. bringing you in here." And then when I. tell the story on my Instagram and on my. my podcast, it ends up getting turned. into this whole other thing of you don't. belong here. Amanda Seals doesn't belong. here. And that's the thing that's a. narrative that that has come about like. I don't perpetuated. Yes. I don't belong in these places. And.

what ended up happening two days later. is that I got a call from Issa. and she called me and said, "Um, hey, I. heard what happened this weekend. And um. I just want you to know I have nothing. to do with it. Um would you be willing. to talk to Vanessa? No. I tried to talk to Vanessa at the. party. She two days too late. So, I've never talked about this. publicly. because it has always been incredibly.

important to me to protect Issa. because I know that Issa is doing. something within this business that so. few people get to do and it's not. something I desire to do. Like, I'm I'm. not interested in getting a $100 million. production deal. Like, that's not a life. that I want for myself, but I know that. her role is very important. And so, I've always protected Issa. Um, however, there's just been enough. instances at this point where I should. have been protected by Issa and I. wasn't. And one of my biggest problems. that we have discussed several times in. this interview is that I I think people.

are going to show up for me the way I. show up for them. And now it's at a point where my. protecting of Issa has become turned on. to me and something that people are. using against me. There's a whole. narrative that is completely false that. people keep spinning. They keep saying, you know, that I'm this mean girl on. this set, that I that I uh that I harmed. these people on this set. I just want to. point out something very basic. How can. I be a mean girl on a set that ain't my. set? H how? It's your show. You are my boss.

I don't even have the capacity to be the. mean girl here cuz you can fire me. So, there's no way for me to be a mean. girl in this situation. And I know some. people that may buck up against like the. the confirmation bias that they've. created, but it simply is the truth. Um, you know, when I got to that show, I had. had a show on Issa's website on YouTube. I had my show Get Your Life. And when it. came out on her in on her YouTube, unfortunately,

the the the press picked it up as Issa. Ray's new show, right? But I'm but she hadn't she didn't do. anything except put it on her site. Like, I put all my money into it. I. wrote it. I starred in it, etc. And so I. said, "Hey, you know, would you mind, you know, tweeting to correct this?" And. she just wouldn't. Um, she wouldn't. promote any of the shows, you know, and. I just felt like that was unfortunate, but it didn't make me it didn't change. my my view of her character. Like, it. just let me know like, okay, this how. she do business. But in that time, her. publicist was interacting with me and.

was from just day one just so asserbic, like just vitroic for no reason to the. point where Isa's business manager had. to say to the publicist like, "Can you. please try and be kinder to Amanda? She's like a talent on our channel.". Do you And you have no reason why she. would. treat you behave. So, Issa says, "Would you talk to Vanessa?".

No. I say, "Sure." You know why? Why? Who's my boss? Who's my boss in this situation? Well, Asa is the boss. And where do I have to go back to work? Insecure. So, what's the game you talked about? You had to play the game. But hold on. But there was a situation. earlier, Amanda, where she That ain't my. business. Y'all need to handle that. Now. she want you to talk to her. You're good at math.

You good at math. Sharpton. Shannon Sharpton. I'm just I'm just saying because you. like. you can't spell Sharpton without sharp. now, man. So, okay. You have. So, I take the call. You should have said I want to meet face. to face. I want to look a woman. I like. to look a person. My feelings were hurt. My feelings were hurt. I just got assaulted in a party for. black people in Hollywood. Mhm. And I've been in Hollywood longer than. majority of the people in this [ __ ].

party, right? My feelings are hurt. Okay, you take the call. Hello. Hi, Amanda. This is Vanessa. Um, I just. want you to know that um, so none of. this has anything to do with Issa. That's the first thing she says. None of. this has anything to do with Issa. So, I. just want you to know that. But I do. want you to understand that it was me. who kicked you out the party. Okay. So, um I just want you to know. that the reason I kicked you at the. party is because I don't like you.

Okay. Well, that's all I need to know. There's nothing else for us to talk. about. And I hang up. She calls me back. immediately. Why'd you hang up? I said, "Because there's nothing else for us to. talk about." She says, "Don't you want. to know why I don't like you?". No, not actually. Actually, I don't. No, I don't. Cuz it's none of my. business. I've never done anything to. you. And for you to put me in harm's way. off of literally nothing means that I. don't need to talk to you about why you. don't like me. You need to talk to your. therapist about why you don't like me. And I hung up the phone. She called back. No, she called around. She starts a.

smear campaign. Oh. So this whole time your boss and I don't. like I I I don't do the gossip thing. So. have you ever had a conversation with. Issa. about this situ? about her publicist. You're saying since the situation. at any point? Well, I mean, I had that one time where. I said to you, "Yeah, and she said, "Well, that y'all. need to work that out. That ain't got. nothing to do with me.". So, now after this conversation with the. publicist and I and I get off the phone,

um I start getting word that she is. going around to the different. publications and different people cuz it. starts coming back to me. and she's. going around saying that I was um in. danger of getting fired from Insecure, which I honestly I don't even know if. that was true or not, but I had never. that had never been brought to my. attention. She starts going around. saying that I got in a fight at the. party. She starts going around saying. that I peed on the floor. at the party. What are you a puppy?

I mean, I got to move it to the side. Like, what are we talking about? So, let me ask you this. So, well, now. I feel like I'm going to answer your. question. Okay. So, Issa then calls me again and says, "Hey, I just want to know if this is going to. be a problem on set cuz now this is. going on for two weeks.". And this. going viral. in earlier in the conversation, you were. like, "Why do you care if people don't.

who don't know you like are saying mean. things about you?". And it's like, "I wish I had that." And. I I I'm at a point in my life where I'm. there, but. it's really up when the pylon happens. and it has nothing to do with reality. Like I don't even mind a pylon if it's. something I really did, right? This situation, I'm like, how am I the. villain in this situation? Well, you. shouldn't have gone to her party because. it was her party. Well, it's not just.

her party. There's several people at the. party. It's not like I crashed her baby. shower, right? Um, but also I'm looking at Issa. because it's like this is your. responsibility. We are both your. employees. and this is a part of leadership. This. is the important part of leadership and. it's that's what makes leadership so. annoying is you got to manage people. Yes, you do. And personalities and it's it's a. it's a very difficult task. but it is part for the course. Yes. But that's why you got the hundred. million or whatever you got is to. manage your employees. So I said, you.

know, listen, I am not saying that it's. going to be a problem on set, but I do. think it is a problem that you don't. feel that you need to step in. And she. was like, well, then we just have a. difference in opinion. Like I just this. is this is between y'all. This is. between y'all. Well, if it was between us, why'd you. intervene and say I need to that that. she wanted to call her? I needed to talk. to her. If you felt it was just between. us because you interjected yourself into. that. If it's between two people, I shouldn't. have interference from someone else to. say, "We need to get together." The two.

people, either she reaches out to me or. I reach out to her. I don't need you to. intervene. But you felt the need to. intervene in that, but now you don't. feel the intervene to go any further. The intervention to go any further. Oh, sorry. So, I'm also promoting my book, right? So, this hits me because now the press. is cancelling. So, this is now affecting. me professionally. and I didn't do [ __ ]. right? And I don't like you in my opinion is. not a sufficient reason to sick four.

security guards on me and remove me from. a black space, right? Which also begs the question, what the. is a black space? Cuz we we we we like to claim that. they're safe spaces and, you know, that. they're for us, but at this point, black. spaces are literally it's just black. faces, right? And that even is, you know, something to do with this pressure that. I've been going through. But to stay on. course. So. now we have to go back to shooting.

uncomfortable. I'm uncomfortable and I. ain't even on set. and nobody's saying nothing to me. Everybody knows cuz at this time it's. just the women shooting. Everybody knows. what's going on. They don't say nothing. to me. And that's justing mean. It's mean. They. don't say nothing to me. And let me tell. you, from the beginning, I've been. trying with these ladies because I want. to make community everywhere I go. I. didn't invited them to my house. They. didn't come. I brought them gifts. They.

said thanks. I tried to plan a retreat. They said, "We don't want to go." You. know, I I put I created our group chat. for the show. I created game nights for. the show. Um, nobody participated. I mean, eventually, but like. reluctantly, but I'm trying to do this, you know. Um. because I think that this is it's like. when I walked in and I was like I feel. like it's my role to make you feel. comfortable. Like I feel like that's my. way of of of getting around. this thing this stigma that people like.

to put on me that ain't got to do with. how I really exist. Okay. Um. and. in this situation now I'm publicly now. being like excoriated. You got this. earthworm gym looking [ __ ] Serunis out. here talking about well you don't no one. likes you so that's why you weren't. invited. The what's hilarious about that. is that we were only in two scenes. together so this is not somebody that. really knows me. But you know what the. other thing is Shannon Sharpton.

What happened? This is a brother who ended up having a. child with someone on the show. And when. he had the child there was rumors that. were going around that he was not um. claiming the child. Mhm. And so these people have started talking. about it. But the people that are talking about AI. people, I'm not involved in it, but I. hear it because we on set, right? And then he come around and it's, hey,

I don't like that. I don't like that. It's not honest. So even though that's not my boy, I pull. him to the side. I said, "Pete, people out here are talking about you. behind your back about this situation. These streets talking.". And I said, "Listen, this is a small. business." So, at the end of the day, if. you are this child's father, I think you. should exclaim it to the rooftops. If. you are not claim, if you are and you.

don't want to claim this child, I would. like for you to just consider rethinking. that because as somebody with a father. that did not show up for me, I really. feel like she would really benefit from. having a father in her life. Mhm. And he was like, "Well, why ain't. nobody coming to me?" I said, "I'm. literally coming to you right now, and. you ain't even my peoples, but I don't think it's fair that you're. being talked about behind your back by. people that you think are your peoples.". He said, "Well, you know, thank you for. that." That's the same [ __ ] that fixed. his mouth to jump on the bandwagon of We.

Hate Amanda. because it was a bandwagon and he want. to be seen. He thought maybe he thought. he was going to get an extra, right? He. thought he was going to get an extra. scene or something. So now we're on set. and I I finally say to Esa, "So were we. just not going to talk about this. because it's now going on for 3 weeks. and my mental health is suffering.". Okay. And. I just I just it was a tough time.

And um she's like, "Well, you know, like. what what do you want to talk about?" I. said, "Listen, like the this was a. terrible experience." Okay, this was terrible. And I like literally. cried like face to face with her like. this is terrible. And she's like, this. is the first time she finally says like, well, I'm I'm sorry that happened to. you. It took three conversations. Mhm. And I said, "Well, you know, I'd like to. talk to you further because I need you. to speak to Vanessa. She is trying to. ruin my career.".

She's like, "I don't think so.". Like, she's trying to ruin my like I So, I bring her into the room. I bring her. into my trailer and I had to do another. 48 laws of power. I sat her on a higher. plane than myself. so that she can feel as the queen and in. this setting she is the queen. right. and I say you know. I don't need nothing from you so I don't. have a reason to lie to you but the. people that work for you like in close.

quarters that's whose names are really. attached to you they will lie to you. and I had to convince her that like this. is really happening like I'm not making. this up and even if it's turns out to be. not happening, I still need you to speak. to her to deduce what it is, what is or. isn't, right? So then she she finally went and spoke. to her. Um, but the damage is done, right? Because now you see how every few. years this becomes a thing and it was. started from a lie,

right? It was started from a lie. And you know, it's not about convincing people because. I don't need to convince nobody of. nothing. But I just don't ever feel. comfortable with people forming opinions. not based on truth. Sh. I got in trouble. for saying [ __ ] unsecure. I got in trouble for telling a brother. he was a revolutionary [ __ ]. In trouble. Like literally got pulled. aside and was told you need we need to. talk about the incident that you had. I.

guess when you in corporate, you got to. keep it corporate, man. We say [ __ ] on the show. We say [ __ ] all day on this mothering. show. And it was a black woman who. pulled me to the side. And this brother. is tatted from the neck down wearing. eating edibles on set from Detroit. I. mean, that's [ __ ] I. But I had said to him, I had said cuz. someone there was like a Malcolm X quote. in my trailer and he sets my trailer, my. clothes in my trailer. So I came to him,

I was like, "Hey, did you leave that. Malcolm X in my trailer?" And he was. like, "Nah." I was like, "Damn, you the. only revolutionary [ __ ] around here.". He was like, "I'm not a nigga." And I. said, "Okay, I get it. Um hm, who said. that?" And I kept it moving. Yeah. This was the incident. So she's like, "We need to talk about. the incident." And I said, "Well, what incident? What incident?" "Well, when you just. referred to him as a nigga.". And so actually re I referred to him as. a revolutionary [ __ ] It was a. compliment. Um, yeah. But when he said.

he's not a [ __ ] you didn't take it. back. I said, like, you mean like take. back seats? I mean, what where where we at? And she. was like, well, I said, but we literally. say [ __ ] go on this show. Like, literally. She was like, well, you're. going to need to apologize to him. But this is the action of like I need to. you need to bow down. People are always. trying to get me to like apologize for. some [ __ ] I didn't do wrong because they. because they feel like I'm too haughty. They feel I'm too sure of myself. They.

feel like I need to be cut down to size. all the time. And the unfortunate part. of that is that it's not a reflection of. me. It's a reflection of them, right? Because what is it about me that makes. you feel small and you want me to get. down to your level? Why do you feel. small? What's going on with you? Who. made you feel that way? That's not fair. to you. Come on, rise up. It's in you. You know what I'm saying? Like that's. that's really what that is. So she. brings him into my trailer.

You fake apologize. Cuz she there and I was like, "Are you. good?" She's like, "No, I need to stay. in case something happens." What's going. to happen? I look at him. What do you. think is going to happen? He's like, "I. don't know." I was like, "Oh my god." I. said, "You know what? I apologize for. calling you [ __ ] I did not intend to. offend you. Of course, in my head, what. I said was I should have called you a. but I didn't say that. I didn't say that. I didn't say that. But it felt like,

right? It felt like. So, now we got to shoot. the car scene where we're driving in. Malibu, right? So, we in the car and I'm. telling them about what happened and I. started crying because I'm a sensitive. soul and because this felt like another. instance where I was being like bullied. and Issa laughed in my mother face as I. was crying and said, "Well, you know, you do have a tone.". At the end of season 1, I pulled Issa. aside at the after this. I I said, "Can. we go to dinner? I want to I want to. take you to dinner." I took her to.

dinner. I said, you know, I said, I feel. like you think I have something against. you, and I just I don't know why you. feel that way. Cuz we had been cool from. even before this, right? She was like, well, no, I said, I feel. like you have something against me. And. she said, well, I think you I feel like. you have something against me. And I was. like, based on what. because again, Shannon, I'm on your. show, right? I can't. do like I'm. I I'm only get scenes added if you add. them. I'm in pocket, baby. I can't do nothing. Mhm. So I said, "Well, why?" She said,

"Well, I. I guess I was looking at you like your. character. Am I that good of an actress?". She wrote the character, bro. What? And so I I said, "You know what? So. let's clean this slate because that's. just not. I have nothing against you. I re I. really don't. And if that came off,

that was not my intention. But by the end of the show, um, you. know, there were just certain scenarios. where I had to really always be the. bigger person and be be the bomb to the. situation. And then in season five, she. came out of her face one, she just came. out of her face at me one time too many. And I just chose to stop being the bomb. because the show was rapping. It was the. end of the season. It was the end of the. series. And I'm just not going to keep. doing this. So what did you do? Nothing. I just stopped communicating. Oh, I mean I had a little rail and and he.

says that Issa is is uh like most of her. set is with women, camera people, etc., etc. And that she's very empowering to. women. Oh, I disagree. She wasn't empowering to. me. She didn't feel like I needed she. didn't feel like I deserve to be. protected. I'm only giving a a mod I'm. only giving a portion of the Yeah. So, but that was my experience and. nonetheless, I have still always. protected her because I felt like it was. my responsibility to do so. But it is. not. Can I ask you this? When you received. the backlash for the the sorority, the.

aka. Mhm. Do they understand that this is a. I don't know. Like I don't I never. understood that. Do you feel now that everybody just. nitpicks? They just find like a Okay, Amanda got on red today. Why she wearing. red? What you think? I mean, don't it sound like that? Is that how you feel? Absolutely. They are always looking for. something. Even the these hack writers. who were probably paid by Apac, they.

wrote articles based on tweets. tweets. They wrote articles based on not. only my tweets but on other people's. tweets. Like this random person said. Amanda needs to change her energy. Black. Enterprise wrote an entire article that. said Amanda Seals complains that she's. not invited into black spaces. Mind you, these are all spaces that I have worked. in. And there and said and and the. follow-up line was um but the internet. so they anthropomorphized the entire.

internet. The internet says Amanda needs. to change her energy. I do not need to. change my energy. I don't. And all of. those spaces uh aside from Black Girls. Rock have contacted me. I don't need to. change my energy. What needs to change. is how we look at energy and how we. understand energies that aren't. necessarily our own. Right? So even as we sat here and we have. talked, I have had to understand your. energy and you have asked me to do that.

And even though it may not be my own, we live in this space together. We live. on this earth together. So we have to. gain. certain abilities to do that. And that. requires a lesser ego. That requires. curiosity, which I consider to be an. indicative of love. It requires. humanity. Like, we live in a world that is. continuously creating borders to keep. people out because we feel like they. don't deserve to be here because they're. different or because they love some a.

different kind of person or they believe. in something different, etc. And I just. I I am not that kind of person. I've. never been that kind of person. And it. is so it is so uh liberating for me to. understand that. the reasons that people have been. telling me. So. you're talking about the nitpicking. It's not just nitpicking. They assign. something to what they're nitpicking. Amanda has a tone because she's mean. Amanda think Amanda said this because. she thinks she's better than other black. people. Amanda um said what she said because.

she's nasty. None of these things are. true. Mhm. But it feels terrible for people to. assign things to you that are not true. And you start to think to yourself, if this is. what it's like for me to be myself, then. maybe I shouldn't be here. And as somebody who has had a full-on. nervous breakdown and been suicidal, it. is not to be taken lightly when people.

attack character without legitimate. reasons why, credibility, etc. And I was told that one of these. publications, it was told to them, you. know, this is the type of thing that can. drive someone to take their own life. And they said, don't go there. This is not a game. It this whole this whole last month has. been such a journey of self by fire,

right? Like I was forced to have this. journey of self by fire simply because I. wanted to be embraced in spaces that I. embrace. Like there's no scandal. I was. supposed to go to Howard to do an event. and I was told that Howard rescended my. invitation because of these stories. these stories that have no validity to. them and that I have not, you know, been. a catalyst to, but they are now pro. they're proving to be dilitterious to. like my advancement. Oh, Amanda Seals,

she was she was um attacking Samaria. Rice. What? I asked a valid question. that ended up being proven. By the way, I asked a valid question. Don't we think. that there's something worth questioning. and why this this woman whose son was. 100% unjustly killed by the police, don't we think there's something to be. said for like why are all these media. outlets like giving her a platform to. accuse all of these people that are the. leaders of movements. to fraud? And you know, my problem is.

also that I think that people understand. what I'm saying when I say something. And like when I wrote my first book, my. uncle who's a judge in Grenada, he was. like, "Make sure you edit that book like. a deposition. because it's on paper and people cannot. read your mind. So say it how you want. it to be understood.". Yep. Which is difficult in 140 characters. It is. But what I was saying with that. statement was,

why are all of these black media outlets. giving a platform without any level of. journalism behind it? That is dangerous, right? And they're putting these people, mind you, I don't even Sean King, but. again, what am I about justice? This is. Maat, the goddess of truth and justice. This is unjustified. He was asked by her. brother to raise money. when he got the. money and found out that she didn't. know, she was given the money. These. types of turning this space into a.

gossip space is dangerous. Shannon, we're trying to make movements and. change. But you do realize that's how social. media works. I don't have I don't have to be. qualified. I could be a doctor. I could. be. No, I'm not talking about qual I'm not. talking about social media. This is. black voices and Brio and Narude, etc. Right. They were just running with this story. because that's how journalism works now. It's just clicks. So, in their minds, it seems like, well, if we put this story out, we going to.

get the clicks. Mhm. And then there were going to be. follow-ups and we'll get clicks for. that, right? And then there's going to be follow-ups. So, let's not tell the whole story now, right? Let's string this along with the soap. opera, people's lives. So, I was justified in that. People mad. at me because I said, you know, if you. got Nikes and Jordans, if you got money. for Nikes and Jordans, you got a. passport, you're losing. Amanda Seals is. a member of the petty bgeoisi. She is making fun of the disenfranchised. passport black folks. What are youing. talking about? Do you understand? These. people don't want us here. They don't.

want us here. We need to be able to get. out of here, right? When you go all over this world, white. people are everywhere. Did you know. that? They everywhere having a great. time. And we be thinking that we are. only allowed to be here. This world is. for us. We are the bottom line. We are. the creators. So why would we not make. sure that we have access to everything. instead of limiting ourselves to. consumerism? We can do both. Yes, we can do both. And one thing I've had. to learn is just like sometimes I just.

be talking. right. now. By the way, the reason I sent that. text is because I was sitting in the. Paris Charles airport and the [ __ ] I. was seeing I had texted him and said I. got to Paris. I can't wait for you to. get your passport and travel with me. And he had said I don't need a passport. I travel in my mind. That sound like somebody said it. That's what made me say that tweet. But again, no further context, but. um people do nitpick and it it sucks. because you start to believe the lies.

that people tell you about yourself and. then you start to turn into the person. that they are accusing you of being. They want you to be somebody who doesn't. give a they want you to be somebody who. doesn't care if you hurt people. And I. will say that most people don't get the. opportunity to do a blanket apology. But. since I have it, I'll take it. I. apologize to anybody that I have. unwillingly. caused any level of discomfort. That's. never my goal. Never my goal. And. anyone who was taking that apology and. knowing that it's not for you because it.

wasn't for you. considering what's been port the way. you've been portrayed and you said Issa. said well your character I was I believe. that you were your character considering. she wrote the character do you ever get. afraid of being typ cast? Um no because. I think everybody gets afraid of being. typ cast. I mean, especially like if you. light-kinned, like there's in black.

spaces often times it's like, okay, you're going to play like the bougie. light-skinned girl, you know? Um, I think that there's something to be. said for like I get accused of being. colorist based on stuff like that, you. know, like uh which I am 10,000% not uh. by any means. I think in the past there. were things that were like. misinterpreted that have it's not even. that they've typ cast me like on camera, it's like I'm typ cast in life. Right. Right. So like people like I remember on. on a Breakfast Club interview they asked.

me like what are reasons people don't. like you? This is always the. conversation. What are reasons people. don't like you? So I went down the list. of reasons that people have told me that. they don't like me. And one of the reasons was someone had I. have been told several times I don't. like you cuz you're light-skinned. And I said that and that offended people. because they thought that I was somehow. in saying that saying that it was. something. as a negative. as a like it was something positive, you. know. And ultimately um.

there is no way in the. there is no way in the dissemination the. effective dissemination of white. supremacy that we would not have. dark-kinned women who don't like you. because you light-kinned and. light-skinned women who don't like you. cuz you darkkinned. They have been very. effective at that division. Yeah. So I was just stating a fact uh. but not stating. a. like I wasn't trying to legitimize it.

It was just like this is something that. has been said to me, right? Um. you know and I am. and it took me also a little bit to. understand that colorism only works one. way, right? Uh I don't know if bullying is the right. word for what happens to light-kinned. black folks who feel like they don't. belong, right? Cuz that's the thing, like I get. told like, "Oh, you light-kinned, you're. not really black.". But like I'm light-kinned because. my great great great-grandmother was. raped,

right, by James O in Virginia. or in Maryland, I should say, who then. subsequently had children every month. after that for 12 months with other. slaves that he owned and he put his name. on their birth certificates. And this means that I'm also possibly. related to Robert Elite. Um, I am light-skinned because my. great-grandmother on my mother's side. was raped by her boss when she was a.

maid in Grenada. So. I just feel like we we oversimplify in a. way that feeds this white supremacist. ideology. instead of looking to each other to say. how do we starve it with love and loving. each other. So you know I am not. colorist. There are many times where I. have had to consciously remove myself. from spaces because these people don't. know what the they're talking about and. they're like well you're black you know. like this this designer in Russia wanted. me to be the face of her Africa.

campaign. I said, "Ma'am, the only way I can do that is if I am. partnered in equal level with a. dark-skinned person from the continent, right?". And they were like, "H, you're just. doing too much now. We don't even see. race.". Don't you just love that one? Okay. Currently, you're on Kevin Hart's. uh LOL Network. No, you done that. That ended uh like two years ago. Kevin, people's taking shots at Kev. I.

know Kev a little bit. I don't but I. think he's I think he's great at what he. does. I know he is an extremely hard. worker. He puts a lot of time into his. craft. Uh and he's built a platform that. that tries to elevate people. Oh lord. I think that's his goal, but I don't. know that his staff has the same fervor. for that that he does. Okay. And I don't know that he's nec I don't. I'm saying this literally like I don't. know if he's if he's necessarily. empowered them to do that. I literally.

don't know. I know that he voiced his. intentions to me, but they were unable to be carried out, right? And I have no hard feelings. Kev um Kev. looked out for me in a situation. that uh. was, you know, Live Nation tried to like. cancel my whole tour. and. I had to call people I know that, you. know, got the juice, right? And Kev answered the call. That's unbelievable.

And it was a time where I didn't have. other jobs. So if I didn't do them. shows, there was no money, right? Because my man made no money and he. wasn't trying to make no money. So I was. the only one making the money, right? And I remember sitting in my living. rooms like staring off into space and he. came in cuz I was quiet. And if a man is. quiet, Yeah. we in a problem. And my man came, my ex, he came in and was like, "Was you you good?" And I was like, "No, because if I don't do these shows, we.

will not have money. right. for the bills." And so I really. appreciate Kev um because he didn't have. to do that and he did. Right. Bring the funny. You spoke highly. of that. Chrissy Tegan, Jeff Foxworthy, uh Keenan Thompson. I do have a radio show now though. You tell us about it. What do you get to. talk? What What do What do you like. about the radio show now? Because you. obviously you're very opinionated. you. have I mean you have a lot to say and. when you're on the radio you get to take. your time and go.

tell us about your radio show people. that listening Amanda for the first time. what can they expect. to listen laugh and learn they going to. laugh and they going to learn all day. long um I love my radio show. radio one reach media they've just been. such great partners. uh it really showed me what it's like to. work in a place that sees you. um you know that came correct direct. from day one. I never I never have to. convince them of anything. You know, they respect my my wisdom about things.

They respect my my awareness about. things. So, I don't have to, you know, try to win over and and I. always thought that my own show would be. a TV show, but it's a radio show and it. ends up being so much better because I. have so much freedom and I get to speak. to people. We're we're right now we're. syndicated in a number of cities. including DC. We're on Magic in DC. We're on uh uh 103 in um in Philly. We're in Houston on the box. You know, we're in major markets. And I just.

didn't realize that people really be. listening to TV. I mean to radio. People. really be listening to radio, Shannon. Me, too. And so, it's just been really great to. see how many people like I remember so. we do a word of the day where I teach a. vocabulary word and um this bus driver I. went to Selma for the commemoration of. Bloody Sunday. This bus driver in. Alabama cuz we're on in muscle shows. She was like, "I just want you to know. that I play your radio show in the bus. for my kids.". Wow. And she was like, "Our favorite segment. is the is the the vocab segment." So, I. have my co-host, Supreme. And uh I just.

make it my business. I I take it very. seriously that a lot of people are only. getting this news from me. So, I just make it my business to be. very fact-based. and then opinion, right? You know, because I think we've gotten. in a world where we can't really tell. when it's facts and when it's opinion. Yeah. And that's dangerous. Very. Making progress with your money starts. today. With the right checking account, this year can feel easier. Chime online. checking account has tons of benefits. that millionaire members love. Like feef.

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Joining just takes minutes. Get started. today at chime.com/shes. That's chime.com/shes. Banking services and debit card provided. by Bangor Bank NA or Stride Bank NA. member FDIC. Spot me. Eligible. requirements. Overdraft limits apply. Early access to direct deposit funds. depends on payer. Out of network ATM. withdrawal fees may apply. You talked. about your time on the reel and you. talked about the bad. Did you have any. good times on the on the reel? Was there.

anything that you liked about your time. there? I liked my my my team in my dressing. room. You're listen your glam squad in those. situations be your family because you. there so early in the morning every day. right. um. you know let me just be clear though. like people like to say that I have. issues with my co-host on the real and I. I have never voiced that and none of. them have ever voiced that. and my issue with the real was about the. the the executive leadership of the real.

and the fact that we couldn't talk about. like they would say things like I. remember Tamar wanted to talk about wine. and they were like well black people. don't drink wine. so we're not going to talk about wine. wow. just like how's that a thing um but. I don't want to say that I didn't have a. good time at the real it's just that I. walked into it and I got blindsided. that's really what happened Shannon I. got blindsided I thought that this was.

going to be a space where I could like. really be myself because when I would. guest host they were so embracing and it. just ended up not being that. But the. you know what really happened at the. real I taught I reminded those women of. their voices. That's what they always. tell me cuz they had gotten so used to. the bull that they had just laid down. their swords. And so I get there and. they would be happening and I'd be like, "Oh, hell no.". Right. And they'd be like, "Well, we didn't. even know we could say no.". I'm reading and I read this and I was.

like when I was doing my for you about. the black publications. No, that that. that. that spoke out against you. I mean because you speak so pro black. and just because you're pro black. doesn't mean you're anti- this that. means you just I want my people to do. really well and I want my people to. understand and be informed and. understand the power that they have. Mhm. It had to have hurt to have these black. publications. I had a nervous breakdown.

Mhm. Talk to me. It's just the willingness of folks to. sell their souls for so little. And um I feel like that's what you have. to do to like put your gift of being a. writer to work in such a nefarious way. Mhm. I ain't met none of these people. I. ain't done none of these people.

I'd like to think that they were paid by. Apac because if you didn't get a check. for this and you just did this just to. do it, I'm just like damn. that that's unfortunate for you. But. that's a place that I've arrived at, right? Initially, it just. it's crazy to be excoriated in the. public in general by like, you know, just people. Yeah. But like. publication where they're supposed to.

have people that are journalists that. have integrity. These ain't blogs, right? Yeah. Like that's crazy. Like the last time. this happened was with this my roll. situation years ago where I was put in a. very up situation. I had to make a. judgment call. Okay? And people have based my entire. character off of this judgment call. People who have never been in this. situation, but I did the best that I. could with that situation. And um and I. have been affirmed in that choice. But I. think that what people fail to. understand is that you be in scenarios.

where you got to make a judgment call. instantaneous. You don't have. you and you just doing the best that you. got with something that doesn't have a. blueprint, right? And so now there's this whole. narrative of Manda Steels hates black. men that it has no literally no water. If I hate black men, I want a refund. I want a refund. Shannon, you know how. many brothers I have lifted up? I want a. refund. I done paid probation fees because the.

[ __ ] could rap and I want them to be. able to live in their talent and their. truth. I done talked to a damn PO. to vouch Baldi James and you owe me. money. But like there's just something. very wrong about these places feeling. compelled to just speak about somebody. with no facts. At least quote somebody. I've worked with if you going to say I'm. difficult to work with. I mean it's. burning bridges in Hollywood. Baby, there ain't no bridges in Hollywood. This Hollywood is a sharkinfested pool.

The only bridge I built was to get me. out of it so I would stop getting bit. So, please stop telling me about burning. bridges and and uh then there's they're. in there talking about oh, she's hubris. Do do y'all even know what hubris means? Hubris is a mythological character from. Greek mythology. who was told by the gods, don't look in. that pool. Don't look in that pool. And.

Hubris said, I'mma look in the pool. He. defied the gods. He looked in the pool. and he saw his face and he was so. enamored by his face that he drowned in. the pool. So hubris is not someone who. is necessarily enamored by themsel. Hubris is the story of a person who. defied God. Now you tell me in this. whole interview where have I showed you. that I'm somebody who is defying God. I. live by God, right? I am spoken to by God. I speak the.

words. So don't tell me about these. word. So, so journalists using these. words so um gratuitously is dangerous. It's so dangerous. And I am obsessed. with words. I'm obsessed with words, Shannon. I love them so much. And I know. that there's people who have lived by. the word. If you are somebody of a. religion, you live by the word. Whether. it's the word of Allah or the word of. the Bible. You know, if you're somebody. who's a lawyer, you understand that this. constitution and the words that are not. in it are what continue to keep us. oppressed. Words matter. So to have all.

these people using these words that I. love so much against me damn near killed. me. Thank goodness I'm on Lexapro. cuz had I not been on this. anti-depressant, I feel like I would have gone down a. much darker hole. But I have a great. psychiatrist and I have even better. friends. So when you talk about people. protecting you, baby, I am protected. I. am so loved. And that's why it's so wild. to see people saying I'm not likable. You are right. I am not likable. I am.

lovable. I am so loved. And it's like. I'm in a place right now where for the. first time in my life, I feel like. the love for myself and the love people. have for me are at the same level. And. I've never experienced that before. And. it took a long time for me to learn that. I even had the right to love myself. You know, people say these things like, "Oh, don't be full of yourself." You. better be full of yourself. Mhm. You better be full of yourself. because then what are you full of? You. don't want to be hollow. And you also.

don't want to be full of everybody. else's validation of you because who are. they? And baby, they will run away. When. [ __ ] go low and they gone, you're empty. Mhm. You better be full of yourself. And I. have had to learn as somebody who had a. nervous breakdown and was brought to the. bottom and realize that all of my. confidence was built on other people's. thoughts of me, other people's validation, everything. And I had to build myself. back up. And luckily I had a therapist. who taught me to do that. And I had to.

build myself back up. And so I tell. everybody now like, "No, please be full of yourself and love. yourself." And you know, particularly. women, we're not told that we're allowed. to name ourselves, right? I am a genius. I'm a gifted performer. I. am a gifted person. I am a creative. genius. I'm generous. I am giving. I am. kind. I'm funny. I'm delightful. Like. these are not things that um I need to. wait for somebody to say about me. I. know these things about myself. Aren't.

we supposed to be God's children? Yeah. And that's not based in religion. That's. just based in understanding. That's how. I live. I I as a spiritual person, I. believe I am a child that was made of. something other. I don't know what we. were made of, but I know that I feel. like I was made of something. supernatural. And I have a. responsibility in that to live at my. best. And people don't want to let you. grow. People don't want to let you. evolve. People don't want to let you. find better ways to exist. People are. talking to me about from 2005. Some. interaction they had with me for 30.

seconds in 2005. Now you tell me. Are you judging people. based on a 30 secondond interaction? No. Because why? You might say, "We had a. bad 30 secondond interaction, right? That's it. I'm probably going to never see that. person again. So I don't have a. The same one. The same week that people. are telling in these in these articles, Amanda Seals is so terrible. she, you. know, she has boundaries, etc. The same. week they talk about Anthony Mackey. Why. don't let that man have his boundaries? I'm like, I can't call it. I can't call.

it. And I've decided to stop trying to. call it. I put the phone down. You uh the queen came to your defense, though. Yes, she did. Because I'm loved by the. people I love, and that is the biggest. honor. Queen Latifah Dana Owens. Okay. Mhm. Can you help me understand this? I wasn't ready for that. Sometimes, and it's happened before,

people in our community forget that. they're black. The B. And they try to appease a group of. people that's probably never going to. embrace them. And once they realize. that, guess who's the first group to. take them back? We I don't I don't know her. You don't I ain't say nobody names, Manda. You don't even know who I'm. talking about. I don't know. how you know who I talk about. But but but you but we've listen we've. seen this happened before. Rest your. soul. OJ Simpson, you know, he had the. famous quote, "I'm OJ. I ain't black.".

Even Michael Jackson went through what. he went through. Rest your soul, right? Even Kanye had to be reminded. And now Miss Owens, who oh, I don't want. no black pilots. I don't want this. I. don't want that. And now we can't keep. off our black media stations when before. she gave us her butt to kiss. Now, if I'm lying, if I'm speaking out. of turn, people, y'all correct me. But. y'all know I'm telling the truth. Now,

you talking about somebody that's always. uplifted this community. And I was one. of the first guys that had a had a a. viral moment with Cat Williams and they. couldn't wait. Excuse, they couldn't. wait to attack me. But Candace has given. y'all her butt to kiss for two decades. In the moment, what they do? They can't. fire me. They can't fire me. The hell you say? Now look at her. It's not her fault.

Whose fault is it? No, no, no, no, no. Let's not let's not take that blame. Let her back in. Huh? The spaces that let her back in. Oh, okay. Okay. But that's how we are. We're see are very forgiving people. Who taught us to be that? We do. Who taught us what? Who taught us that. version of forgiveness? Do I need to do the lesson? No, I cuz I know. them slave owners taught us that version. of forgiveness. They gave us a Bible. called the slave Bible. And this Bible. had parts of it taken out. It had the.

parts of uprisings taken out. It taught. about forgiveness because they needed to. make it okay in their minds. No matter how bad I treat you, I at some. point in time, I need you to forgive me. for the wrongs I've done against you. Because they had convinced themselves. that it was still okay to keep people. enslaved whose souls were saved. Yeah. Even though they knew that that was. counterproductive to the the teachings. that they had learned. So, you know, we.

are often times forgiving to our own. detriment. We are. And at the And listen, here's the thing. You know what the thing about. forgiveness is? Is that you should. absolutely forgive people who ask for. it. Right. Right. Who ask for it. And I'm okay with that. I'm okay to. forgive. I don't forget. I just move on. But redemption requires action. Mhm. There are restorative justice. practices that have to be implemented in. order for atonement to truly take place.

And when that's not the course of. action, it looks like something else, right? Yeah. It looks like It looks yucky. It looks. like capitalism. It looks like. It looks like clickbait. It looks like naive. It looks dumb and it looks insulting to. anybody who has a mind. And ultimately, again, I will bring it back to what. makes a black space a black space at. this point. Because when I create black.

spaces, Shannon Sharp, like smart, funny, and black, like my podcast, Small. Doses, my radio show, the Amanda Seal. Show, we literally do blackurate news. When I create black spaces, the the the. word black in that context is always. about community. You said it earlier, right? So my problem, like you've. already pointed out, is that I'm. thinking, well, when they make a black. space, it's also the same thing. But. maybe I mean, but baby, I got I got. kicked out of a black. You know what I'm. saying? I got I literally got kicked out. of a black space by a black woman who. sick black people on me, black men on me.

to remove me. So at this point, I. understand that we can't just look at. black people and say, is this skin folk. or kinfolk? We got to look at black. spaces. Is this skin folk or kin folk? All of these black media spaces that. took her back in. All of these black. media spaces that have just excoriated. me for weeks, I look at them and say, "You are simply black by name because. you are white by commerce.". Wow. When I saw people taking shots at Angel.

Reese for crying because for the longest. time, you know, she is a young person. Do you know how. disgusting that is? Isn't that cornball. [ __ ] who loves to make himself look. like he's the white people savior? Who's that? Emmanuel Ao. Oh Lord have mercy. Corny see bad. Oh Lord have mercy. Man, come talk to me white people. I'm the. black guy that that's nice. Cut it out. It's ridiculous. Man, I know these people, man. I'm going. have to have. Well, you're not saying it. I am. You're not saying it. And you don't you. don't and I will let you off the hook.

It you don't need to respond. Don't feel. like you need to defend them. No, no, no, no, no. But, but baby, you can't. I'll let you have your space. This is. your safe space to say your peace. Can I have a hug? No. You would give me no hug early. I. try to get a I try to get a D. I have to get to a hug and now I'm. there. You want to have a hug? Yes, you can have a hug. Thank you.

Dang, that was. that was that was quick. I feel I feel I. feel good. Good. I feel good. Good. You hosted the BET Awards in 2020. in my house. and ain't been back. She ain't Let me tell you, can nobody. say you don't put it together? That's. why you was so successful on the field. Why? Why? Ain't nobody told you why you. ain't been You can't host no more. you.

Well, the internet told me that I. haven't been back because I'm not. likable. Baby, I hosted the awards in my house. Yes. I'm not saying that lightly co. Mhm. was happening. and the stylist uh their assistant. tested positive. Ended up being a false. positive, but it tested positive and two. days before I had to host the BT awards. in my house. Wow. I find this out. Now, at the time, somebody I had been seeing on and off.

We were gonna try to see if we get along. again. So, you gonna let him come? He was going. to stay for an extended period of time. cuz co. So, he was already he was coming to the. house. and we're literally sitting next to each. other when I get this call from Jesse. Collins. Shout out to Jesse Collins and. Deion Harmon. These are two people that. are two of the most beautiful human. beings on the earth. And Jesse Collins. helped break the code for me about me. Jesse Collins, without calling me. autistic, knew I was before I knew I. was. And he literally told the staff, "This is how Amanda works. She needs.

information. That's what she needs.". Lots of it. She just needs the information. And when. she has the information, she's fine, so let's just give her that. It doesn't take anything away from us. But some people feel like giving. information is like some power struggle. type [ __ ] right? But he tells me this, Shannon. So this man, Bodie James, is at my. house. And he's like, "I don't do physical. labor." I'm like, "Lord, child.". So, I get him a check. I get him a check.

to do the the show. to to put up to put this thing together. Um, one thing I'll never take from that. man is he put that he he did hook up. them wires. Okay. Yeah. But now I can't have a stylist, a hair. stylist, or a makeup artist here. So, I. end up having to do my own makeup. with my makeup artist on my phone, my my. hair with my hair stylist on like. they're all on FaceTime telling me what. to do. I did 13 costume changes in my.

house while this man sat in my backyard. on FaceTime telling people, "Yeah, I. saved the BET Awards." And I got him a. credit cuz that's the type of [ __ ] I. am. I got him a credit and I got him his. check. Now, did he I'm not even Let me. stop. But I But you see how I'm. protecting people that don't protect. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You see how I was. about to do that? Cuz he the type of. person that would take things to another. level. He tried to extort me once. You've been having a rough go with me. I know. Because I didn't have a father. that really taught me what to do. And.

because I I I present to people in a way. that they deem masculine. But it's. really just passion. And if they really. were smart, they would understand that. the passion that I speak with is the. passion that I [ __ ] with. So I don't. understand why they can't do that math. Yeah. Sports. I was reading everything. I read I I read that you I read that you. know about what a nickel defense is in. football. I don't even remember anymore. Don't put. me on the spot. But I really um.

You love sports, huh? Or you love. football or you love the. No, I appreciate sports. The sports that. I I mean like I it wouldn't be fair to. say I love football because it's not. even close to my love for gymnastics. Okay. You know, I respect football. I. respect basketball. I mean, I'm I got a. Jay. You know, I got I used to have. handles in my younger days. Now I have. back problems. But. well, that what you what you were saying. about earlier that that's the kind of.

same thing that you was able to do with. back problems. You ain't going to be. able to do that no more, man. So, think. you have to sit there with her. I think it's all about creativity. I'm sorry I brought that up. You talking to a comic like whatever you. say I got something in the chamber. You. know that's the other part. I'm a really. good mother comic. Did you know that? I did know that. I didn't know that. Yeah. I didn't know that. Okay. Well, I mean I have my special. You know I. have my special. I be knowing. But this.

year is when I really realized like. [ __ ] you nice with this. I've been going on stage and I don't. even prepare no more. I just go to see. Right. Baby, I'm killing. You like that, huh? I'm really. Well, how about this here. now? Not to say not to say I haven't had. my L's. Yeah. I There was a particular room in Los. Angeles that I did take an L, but I have a different style of comedy. than that room was expecting. Right.

Dating in 2024. I am single. You ain't try. You ain't. Who's hollering at me, Shannon? Who's. Who is hollering at me? Who? Let me ask you this. How about this here. at this point? What type of man are you? What type of. man would interest Amanda? Does he have. to be. scholarly? Uh, funny. I mean, women like. funny. So, but that needs to be one. Women like funny. He has to have character. Character. And when I say character, I mean he has. to have a very strong value system. Okay.

He has to care about humanity. Okay. He has to like animals. Okay. He has to um like music. Okay. Uh, he has to be curious. He doesn't have to be scholarly, but he. has to be curious. Okay. And and the thing about curiosity is. it's not just about like education, but. you have to be able to be curious about. somebody else's feelings. You know, like that's the thing I feel. like I I run into with a lot of men. Like they they not curious about like if. I say I'm sad or if I'm say I'm annoyed, like they go into defense when really.

the next question should be why? Why? And then there's a conversation. And I. learned in my last relationship, I. really really worked on my toxic traits, you know, because we're all working to. undo the things that shaped us that we. had no control over. Toxic, huh? I was. Yeah, we all are. Anymore, you definitely have toxic. traits. Whoa, whoa, man. This is not about me. Not about me. Okay, thank you. This man said I need to every morning. I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

You didn't say that to Oo Sinko. You. didn't say that to Oo Senko. You didn't. say that to your sinko. I said I don't. know if I'm. Is that toxicity. to get a million in. because because the way you framed it. I'mma just say I'mma just say sh I'mma. just say shank shank the way you had. said it was like whether she likes it or. not this is my expectation and sometime. the [ __ ] ain't prime until prime time. and it's just like damn is that what the. expectation is every morning.

I mean sometimes my pockets ain't prime. but she expect that burger. I can't speak to Yeah, that sounds like. an escort. Yeah, I'm just saying that sounds like. prostitution. So, I'm just saying, you know, sometimes. that sounds I got to do situation. How. about this? So, you be tell ain't no. man. I know they sliding in your DM. They're not. Ain't no man in your DM. No. Have a. There was one person in my DMs, but they. they're not really like into me. They're. just like talking about professional. stuff. Whatever. Ain't nobody slid in the DM. I don't know. I don't know if he has a.

girl. I'll ask you off camera. They slide in your DM. I'll ask you off camera. Hello. [Music]. No, they don't slide in my DMs because. they're like, "She's too intense.". Right. And that's the thing. I feel like a lot. of men holler at me because they want to. tame me. Like they they like it's like a. game for them and they like I had a dude. I was talking to who was like, "Yeah, you know, I like you because you're a. challenge." Don't. I don't want to do none of that. I don't. want discourse. I want intercourse. Like, please.

I want to be home on the couch. Hug a Buddha. That's really what I don't want to. fight. People be like, "A man is. stealing her tone." I'm talking to a. phone, baby. I'm talking to a phone. I'm. not talking to you. I'm talking to a. phone. And if I say these idiots and you. take offense to that, well, that's your fault. Okay. Tell me, correct me if I'm wrong. if I'm out of place. Okay. You don't. want kids, but you had your eggs frozen. Correct. Yeah. Uh because everyone's.

maybe maybe down the you meet the right. you meet the right guy. Meet the right. guy. No, I don't I don't want. the right. Hold on. You hold on. You got. to be willing to compromise. Not with my uterus. Okay. You can have a what they call a. surrogate. I don't want to have kids. Babe, man. Say, babe, you know, babe, who. going to take? He going to say, babe, who going to take care of us when we get. old? Well, that's a really scary uh Have you. seen people in these nursing homes? My. mama worked in a nursing home. That's what I'm saying. That's what the. kids are for. They not the kids is.

visiting them in the nursing home. Nah, they I'm staying my kids better put. me up in the crib. Exactly. I bought them cribs. I. That's not the case. And I want a big bedroom. You know what? You're better off having. You're better off, you know, listen, if. you if you're getting if you're having. kids so they can take care of you. I. think that's unfair. No, I don't think you I don't think I. don't think that's the thought process. for a lot of people, right? Like and I. think it's unfair because it gives them. a job. I have beautiful friends and I. and I and I don't consider age to be the. only reason for be like I have friends. that are in their 30s, right? That are.

in their 20s. Like it's really about. where your heart is at, right? And um I will be fine. I will be fine. I. will be taken care of and I will be. supported because I support people and. you get what you give unless it's black. media. You will. But I froze the eggs because people. force you. People really be on your head. like just in case. JC just in case. Okay. Yeah, JIC. But let me tell you that egg. freezing process is a mother. Mhm. You getting that [ __ ] rammed up in you.

every day and they looking around. Oh, there was 16 yesterday. Now there's only. 10. And you like, god damn eggs. God. damn. Listen to my small doses episode. Side effects of IVF. Yeah, man. I mean, hens are going to. only say lay so many eggs. I mean, how. many think you think you going to get? Just. don't ever call me a hand again. You think you'll get 30 eggs per day for. two months? Sir, I don't know to be honest. I know. the things I know and I know the things. I don't know. And I really don't. You didn't know at the time that it was. Did you Did somebody tell you it was. going to be painful? I mean, what?

It's not painful. It's just It's just. It's just um. different. Yeah. Like it's just so invasive. It's. so invasive. It's so invasive. Like I. like today, my podcast episode about the sexual. assault I experienced comes out today on. small doses. And it's like it's a. similar type of like it's invasive. You. feel invaded, right? And you're like, "This is very medical, but it still feels yucky.". Is there anything you like to promote? Your podcast, your book, you you got a. movie, you're writing a movie?

I'm on tour. I'm on tour. The unlikable tour. Yes. Come out, see me. I'll be telling. jokes. I feel like my shows at this. point are like TED talks that you laugh. at. Um, but I'm hitting the road. I'm very. excited to be back on stage. age. I was. blacklisted all last year. We'll do that. in part two. And um you know, it's just. it's great to get out in the world after. you be on this internet and they beating. you up and you go in the world and folks.

is like, "Amanda, we appreciate you. We. love you." And just making people laugh. is such a superpower. So come on out to. the Unlikable Tour. Go to amanda. seals.com to get your tickets. You can. also listen to my radio show, the Amanda. Seals Show every day. Uh you can go to. uh wherever you get your podcast and. check that out if you're not in a city. that we're on. And Small Doses is my. podcast that we've been doing for six. years. Will you do Will you do an. episode of Small Doses? Yeah, you have to get my people. Yeah, I'm sure I could do that for you. Your people?

Yeah. Do you have to get approval? Uh no, I don't have to get approval, but. I have a busy schedule. I'm shooting. like eight, 10 times a week. So, he said, "I'm a busy man. I'm a busy. man. I will I will commit by heart, but. not by date." Um, I'll take that as a. yes. Um, we got time because I'm not. going to die till I'm 80. Um, but, uh, I'm in the process of writing my next. book on Simon and Schustster. So, very excited about that. But my. previous book, Small Doses, is also. available wherever you get your books.

and audio books. And otherwise, you. know, um, I appreciate this platform. The space. you've created here is very unique and. necessary. Thank you. Um, you know, you had asked me earlier like. what has come out of these last four. weeks and let me tell you something, Shannon. I am a pure soul. I've always. been a pure soul. I always move from pure intentions.

and I've reached a point where I'm just. no longer going to argue. what people think, right, with what I know. Amanda Seals. Ladies. and gentlemen, all my life been grinding all my life. Sacrifice hustle paid the price. Want a. slice. Got to roll a dice. That's why. All my life I've been grinding all my. life. All my life been grinding all my. life. Sacrifice. Hustle. Paid the price.

Want a slice. Got to roll dice. That's. why all my life I've been grinding all. my life. [Music].