One Year On… To My Friend Charlie Kirk.

All right, you guys. Today marks the. one-year anniversary of Charlie's death. Uh, obviously, a lot has changed since. September 10th. Our world and certainly. my world is never going to be the same. I had been thinking of what to share. with you guys on this day, what message. to share with you, more memories of. Charlie, of course, but I also thought. it would be a good idea to take you guys. through some journaling that I did. throughout this year. Obviously, not all. of it. Uh, but I found that it did help. me emotionally throughout the year to.

write uh to write to Charlie. And. obviously I wish I also wasn't eight. months pregnant doing this when I'm. already in a heightened emotional state, but there's not really much I can do. about that. Uh, so here goes nothing. This first bit I wrote in mid October. when we were out in Wyoming. Okay, it reads, "Dear Charlie, um, I'm really mad at you. for being dead. I don't really know how. else to open it or how else to say it. I'm sure there are softer or kinder.

things that I I could have gone with, but you know, I'm just so upset with you. for not listening to me. You never. really listened to me. I'm in Wyoming. right now, which is one of our favorite. states. We both loved the mountains, and. it's reminding me of another time that. you didn't listen to me. When I told you. that running 10 miles every single day. was too much on your body, that you were. going to get injured. And then you did. You injured your back. You were always. that way, Charlie. like you just. couldn't do anything halfway. That's why. you hated fishing. I really love that. picture of us in British Columbia.

holding the big salmon because I can. hear you and I remember so clearly as. soon as the photo was taken, you said, "Gh, disgusting. You never appreciated. fishing because you weren't really made. for slowing down. You always were doing. 10 things at once.". Anyway, I'm out here because your death. almost drove me insane. You won't. believe it, but I actually did the. thing. It was oddly clinical. I started. Making my way through the quote unquote. stages of grief, I wept for weeks. And I.

now realize why we don't use that verb. very often to weep because it's. different from crying. It just comes. from a different place. It's distinctly. guttural, almost animalistic sounding. And I want you to know that I I weep for. you, Charlie. I also have to say that I don't need you. haunting me in my sleep. I can feel your. presence in a way that feels haunting. it. The dreams are too vivid and I know. deep down that they're not just dreams. I think I know how you felt back in. 2018.

My priest tells me that you're likely in. purgatory and that I need to pray for. your soul. I don't really know how it. works when you become disincarnate, but. I want you to know that I already know, so you don't need to keep insisting. You know, before we even found out that. you didn't make it, I knew you were. betrayed. I told George that as we. prayed in his office, I said, "They. betrayed him." He replied, "We don't. know anything yet." And I said, "No, I. do know because I did know." Instantly, Charlie, like an old memory, had just.

been triggered. I also know that they're not going to. get away with it. They made a mistake. The devil overplayed his hand this time. I have this deep sense that uh they. wanted me to see you die. The manner in. which it was broadcast globally all. across social media doesn't make any. sense. It defied algorithmic norms. Facebook, Tik Tok X. Suddenly, all of. their preventative measures that are. designed to catch and remove violence. from their platforms immediately. malfunctioned that day. They wanted.

everyone to watch you die. For what. reason, I'm not sure. I had to come get out to the mountains. just to take a breath because I couldn't. sleep. I couldn't eat. I had not had a. spell of anorexia since my early 20s. But the very first thing I did was I. just stopped eating. And I'm not proud. of that, but it was the only thing that. I felt like I could immediately control. It was for me Wyoming or a sanitarium. And I'll never forget the moment and the.

way that George looked at me across the. table as I sat there. moving somewhere between the grief. stages of bargaining and denial. And I. was trying to convince him, but mostly I. was trying to convince myself that maybe. there was a chance that you were alive. I said to him, "Maybe he's in witness. protection." And George looked at me. with all of the strength and the. paradoxical gentleness that it takes to. break reality to someone that you love. And he said, "I think he's dead, honey.

I think Charlie's dead.". I think at that time he knew that it was. time for me to get away. I was then made to suffer through. watching so many people in the political. sphere act like flesh flies and maggots. invading your corpse. People who hated. you, selling t-shirts and mugs in your. name. Charlie, you're not going to. believe me, but Ben Shapiro of all. people slid into your studio within. days. 1 million.

in hand. He told the world he was going. to pick up your bloody mic. We'll see about that one. On a similar note, I have to tell you. that your memorial was really weird. It. was like an RNC rally. There was just no. personality. There was no heart. There. was a bunch of suits that were up there. telling us how much you loved politics. It was like no one knew who you were. outside of this conservative whiz kid. with a vision to build a student. organization.

And they had Susie Wilds speaking. I. mean, does anyone believe that you had a. vision for Susie Wilds to speak at your. funeral one day? I've done my best to correct the record. Arena and John Mappen attended that. memorial, and Arena felt that there was. something off immediately. For one, she. told me that she had never seen so many. people speaking her native language, Russian, in Arizona. And I want you to.

know that when I was drowning, demanding. answers to what really happened, on. September 10th, she and John tossed me a. lifesaver. They were your real friends. And they wrote me the most beautiful. open letter uh in your honor, a letter. to the world, and it gave me the. strength to fight another day. They. wrote in part, "Charlie's execution is an assassination. with potentially far-reaching political. consequences for America and the world. What we have seen so far beggars belief.

A crime scene apparently completely. destroyed in days and plenty of evidence. that simply does not add up. This. investigation and the truthful answer as. to who was really responsible for. deciding that Charlie would be executed. in front of the world will affect. America's future, its collective soul, and its conscience forever. The truth, when known, and we believe. that it will be known, will have. farreaching international consequences. The very idea that someone could be. convicted and could receive the death. penalty when there remains even the.

slightest shadow of doubt or a shred of. uncertainty that they may be guilty of. that crime and that Christian souls. would tolerate that possibility is. anathema to all teachings of Christ. We. are growing rather sick and ashamed of. seeing people criticize Candace for. doing her level best to get to the. bottom of and to the truth of what. happened to Charlie on that day. You don't have to agree with Kenneth on. every subject that she addresses on her. shows to acknowledge that much of what. she is presenting on the subject of. Charlie's death is extremely concerning. to America and to the world, completely.

valid and very relevant to the. investigation. She has an army of truth. seekers worldwide who are helping her in. her search and research. This is truly. new and modern and has never happened. before. This is not 1963 and boomers. should get used to it. No one would. question how bright Candace is or that. she may indeed be able to help her. country get to the truth. She is highly. motivated to do so. In our view, the. official investigation should be. immediately ordered by the appropriate. legal authority to proactively share.

everything they know with Candace and. her selected team. That is, if truth and. real understanding of who decided to. assassinate Charlie and why is their. sincere objective that would go some way. towards restoring public trust in the. system. It is our view that her actions. are not just the actions that any real. friend would take for their friend. They. are the actions of the highest order of. patriotism. Candace's actions are a service to the. whole country and to the world. Beyond. that, they are truly providential, divinely inspired, and metaphysical.

There is a relationship between truth. and all living things. There is a. relationship between truth and God. I'll stop there. But their words were. penetrating Charlie. And. you were sentenced to a public. execution. Everybody can see that. And I. intend to find out why. Until then, I. hope you enjoy your homecoming up in. heaven.

Basically, the very beginning Gil and. Jonathan Lusk and uh it's it's been. amazing. So, I I started this. organization when I was 18 years old. Uh, born and raised from Chicago, Illinois. >> This is the place that changed Western. >> You really recording again? >> Civilization. >> right there. That's the escalator. >> Here it is, guys. He came down the. escalator. >> right here. >> And it's Charlie Kirk. >> Hey, what's the one thing that no one. wants?

>> It's such a big day for this guy. Charlie is going to be interviewing the. president of the United States and I. will be sitting there watching trying. not to cry like a proud black mom on. graduation day. >> Hey Charlie, sorry that I've not written. you in a while. A lot has been happening. since Wyoming. I mean, I broke my foot. I found out that I'm pregnant again. I'm. also public enemy number one for.

investigating your wife. I really wanted the world to be wrong. about her, but they they were not. They. were right. And it about broke me in. half to come to terms with it because no. one knew how badly you wanted love more. than I did. We talked about it so much. You had the biggest heart, Charlie. I. remember even back when you just had a. crush on somebody. How much the idea of. aspiring toward love and marriage. motivated you in every aspect of your. life and career. I look back on messages. and they're just so beautiful. Like this.

one. you wrote, she has no freaking clue how. paralyzing she is to me and she is the. ideal and then the reality clashes with. it and it's a freaking primal motivator. unlike anything I've ever experienced. In a funny way, her putting me in this. weird cage and box actually has given to. TPUSA the most successful few months. ever, lol. And it's all an effort to. appease Venus. Like the Tom Sawyer. story, try to impress the girl across. the street.

I don't think I really know what Erica. is. I. know that a wife would not partner with. your enemies. I know what she's not. I. know about the scheduled will change. I. know about the house in the suburbs that. you purchased and dreamed about moving. into that she came up with a million. excuses not to. I know now that her entire life she has. been chasing power and I think that's. why she'll never have it. Not the real. kind, at least. I don't think she knows. what real power even is. Hindsight is.

2020 and I can see a lot now much more. clearly. The visions that you were. having, you know, I'm sorry I didn't. believe you when you told me that you. were going to die young. Everything that. happened in those weeks is unbelievable. to reflect on. You know, Catholics, we. don't believe in coincidence, Charlie. We believe in providence. And so April. and May of 2018 were providential. So. many things were set in motion. You and I were listening to Kanye's song.

Power Day in and day out. You start. telling me with absolute certainty that. you have dreamed your death that you and. you knew that your death would be. associated with Turning Point USA and a. wider world awakening. You said that it made you sad knowing. that you wouldn't be able to see this. thing through, that I would be the one. that had to finish this thing. And I. told you I didn't want to die. And you. told me this. You said, "Don't fear. death. Embrace it. Or else you'll lose your. mind. You were sent here to fix things.

They won't let it happen. They won't. kill you. Instead, they'll make stuff. up, and that won't work. They will then. try to attack family, and that won't. work either.". Weeks later, Kanye tweets, "I love the. way Candace Owens thinks." And it rips a. hole in the universe. We fly out to see. him, and just two weeks after that, you. and I are standing in Israel. Your future wife claims that this is the. first time she laid eyes on you at an. airport, but she chose not to go up to.

us. During the same time, I get this. overwhelming urge that I need to be in. the UK. And I tell you for no reason. other than a spiritual pull that I know. that we need to be in London, that you. had to find a reason to get us there. It. was a total anomaly that trip, but I. know that it saved my life, Charlie, or. I would have stayed on your trajectory. Meeting George in an unplanned trip. saved my life. I've been listening to the song Power. daily since you passed. In fact, I act. texted Yay in the immediate days.

following your assassination and I just. asked him why he wrote the song. a. solitary song which spiritually moved me. and moved you. And he wrote back, quote, "It's a battle cry to be yourself.". And yeah, it is actually. I've now come to the realization. that you made it to the third verse of. that song. You remember we were driving. up in Colorado and I took you through. the lyrics for the first time. I. explained to you the meaning. I told you. the first verse is what you think the.

world is when you're young. It's your. early perception. For Kanye, it's his. younger years in Chicago struggling to. make it. His perception uh people. telling you what you can or cannot be. according to where you begin your life. He writes, "Screams from the haters, not. got a nice ring to it. I guess every. superhero needs his theme music." And he. breaks through. By the second verse, he. unlocks another level of understanding. He has fame, he has money, but to his. surprise, he is still restricted. Now it's him against the media. his.

first real cancellation for saying. something that was actually true, that. the award ceremonies were fake, that. it's not a meritocracy. Kanye was the. first to tell us that Hollywood was. fake, and they tried to destroy his. career over it. Then he found Saturday Night Live. mocking him. So he starts the verse, "FNL and the whole cast tell them Yeezy. says they can kiss my whole ass.". He understands that he's going to have. to believe in himself even more if he's. going to win a war against the media. machine. The very same media that can.

either make or break people. Then comes. your favorite part of the song when he. says this. >> My creativity. and honesty is honestly being crowded by. these grown thoughts. Reality is. catching up with me. Taking my inner. child. I'm fighting for. these responsibilities. As I look down at my diamond and crush.

the peace, thinking no one should have. all that power. Yeah. He's at war to stay true to. himself. He the money is tempting. That's why he's looking at his necklace. He's at war to not become a part of the. machine. And he wins that verse, too. the album that he dropped despite his. first cancellation, Swords number one. He took home a Grammy for best rap album. for My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy. But it's the last verse that's the most.

important I told you and it's the. easiest one to misunderstand. Politics. He writes, quote, "They say I was the. abomination, the abomination of Obama's. nation. That's a pretty bad way to start. the conversation. Now the media realizes that Kanye has. become too influential. He's stepping on. the toes of the more powerful people in. the world, the oldest institutions. And. guess what, Charlie? Never believe this, but since you passed and I declared war. on the liars who lie about everything, they're saying I'm the abomination of.

Trump's nation. Trump actually tweeted. out a photo of me sick in a mockup of. Time magazine calling me the most vile. person of the year. So, I officially. made it to the third verse of Power Two. Anyway, what does Kanye do about it? Well, he Kanye's harder. He knows that. this is the big one. And he's pretending. like he's confident and like he's okay, but he's anything but. He says, "How's Yay doing? I'm. surviving. I was drinking earlier and. now I'm driving. Where the bad ladies, huh? Where y'all hiding? I have the.

power to make your life so exciting.". But it's not what it seems because he's. leaning into his ego. And if you listen. closely, the word exciting actually. turns into suicide. And he echoes that. Suicide. Suicide. Because this fight is. taking everything out of him. the fight. to stay true to himself, but he'd rather accept death than become. someone that he's not because that would. be a death to his soul. And he knows that if he dies being true. to who he is, then it will have been a. beautiful death. And that's the best.

part of the entire song. with a bad. I got the power. Make your life so. exciting. Soideicide.

This will be a beautiful day. Jumping. out the window, letting everything go. Letting everything go. This would be a beautiful day. Jumping. out the window, letting everything go.

Letting everything go. This would be a beautiful death jumping. out the window. Letting everything go. Letting everything go. >> You got the power to let go. I remember when we met with the Ace team. and they told us that the inspiration. behind that beautiful death that he's. talking about, that portion was actually. a scene from the movie 300 when the.

Spartan climbs over the mountaintop and. he sees that there are thousands upon. thousands of their enemies marching. toward them and there's really no way. they can survive. And yet, he's smiling. like a crazy person because all that. matters to him is an honorable ending. Take a look.

>> I saw those ships smashed on the rocks. How can this be? >> We saw but a fraction of the monster. that is Xerxes army. That can mean no victory here. >> Why do you smile, >> Arcadian?

I've fought countless times, yet I've never met an adversary who. could offer me what we Spartans call a. beautiful death. I can only hope with all the world's. warriors gathered against us, there. might be one down there who's up to the. task. That was the inspiration. And I I just. want you to know that I know that you. made it to the third verse and the whole.

world knows that you were under immense. political pressure with Israel and that. they had you surrounded and that your. life became the Truman Show. But you. chose to die with your soul intact. And. that's why the last sentence in the song. is a question. Do you have the power to. let power go? And you certainly did, Charlie. And I'm really proud of you for. that.

>> I'm living in that. 21st century doing. something mean to it. Do it better than. anybody you ever seen. Do it. Screams. from the haters. Got a nice ring to it. I guess any superhero need music. No one. should have all that power. The clock's. ticking. I just count the hours. Stop. tripping. I'm tripping off the power.

Hey, Charlie. We are now coming up on. your oneyear death anniversary, and I. want you to know that I can laugh again. Like, really laugh. I was in Spain when. it happened for the first time. A. girlfriend of mine got really excited. about something that was ridiculous. It. was one of those things that's not worth. explaining because you did have to be. there. But the relevant point is that I. belly laughed. I had tears in my eyes. And I was really joyful. Something about.

Spain was very healing to me in every. way imaginable. And I'm finally able to. think about you and it doesn't make me. angry. And I'm thinking about all the things. that I'm going to miss. And you know. what I'm going to miss the most? The. road trips with you. Singing so many. ridiculous songs like this one. West Philadelphia, born and raised on. the playground where I spent most of my. days out.

>> and also this one which is not in. English. and the 50 Cent classics.

>> And of course, our our favorite thing, the mountain side drives with Yay. >> All right, guys. We're doing another. road trip through the mountains. Literally me and Charlie's favorite. thing to do. We love driving because we. always have to fly. Yeah, >> we're starting with. >> And I'm also going to miss you never. letting me drive and mandating when we. were allowed to stop for restroom. breaks.

>> I would like to report to the Instagram. Human Rights Council that uh Charlie is. not letting me stop to go to the. bathroom and I've been holding my. bladder for four hours. >> She She was a dishonest human being. >> So, if you're seeing this, please send. help. And yeah, I'm still pretty mad at you. for being dead, but I know that you were. always headed where you were headed, Charlie, and I would have never listened. to you either. Not in a million years. And I think that's what made us great. together. A couple of weeks ago, someone. said something that I found to be true. They said that in the end, you knew that.

you had accidentally helped create a. monster and you weren't sure if you had. the strength to do what needed to be. done. And I I think about that. I think. about those last days, uh, your last. days on earth and the pressure that you. were under and the final decision that. you made. Like you said, Charlie, we are we're. going to fight and we are going to win. And I have to tell you, it is at least. getting funny now. It's so true. The.

devil, he can't create because he's. always at war. He's at war with creation. itself. He can only steal. He can only. lie. He can only trick. And he hates. being mocked. But he deserves to be. laughed at. The lies they are telling. now. I mean, you have the best sense of. humor. So, I know that you have to be. laughing like I am. I mean, they. reimagined your entire life, your. friendships, what you believed in. I. think you're now friends with Laura. Loomer, Charlie. Me and you, though. No, you just hated. me. And you loved neocons. That might.

surprise you. Each and every one of. them. Bring on the wars. And you didn't. much favor Tucker Carlson, so I'm told. Charlie, there is not a piece of you. that they did not try to sell. I'm. talking personal letters that you wrote, the tent that you died beneath, the. microphone that you were holding. And. I'm finally at the war, at the point. where I can just uh laugh at it all. because the Department of War is sending. out the real crazies now. I went to Yay's concert last week. You're not going to believe it, but. after 6 years, he returned to Chicago.

and he did it during the week of your. anniversary. I had been trying for over a year to get. his song Ghost Town for my podcast. intro, best song on the Yay album. And. you remember when you flew me out to. Wyoming where he recorded that? I arrived at his album release party and. I just kept replaying that track for you. over and over and over again. Kid Cuddy. is featured in the vocals of that, but. Yay. Kid Cuddy then had a massive public.

falling out in 2022. So, you have to imagine my shock and. surprise when he brought him out on. stage to close the show and they sang. that exact song. I honestly could not. believe it. It all came together. The. Wyoming album one year on Ghost Town. I. was losing my mind because it's been a. long year. The lowest lows of my life. without a doubt. I was just surviving. for a little bit for a long time. But. now I'm back and the whole world knows. that you were betrayed. The whole world.

knows that your assassination was. ordered by the most powerful people in. the world. But you should also know that. your name is trending every day. And I keep telling everyone that I feel. you with me in a positive way now. Like. we're reunited on stage again, too. Doing one last tour. You were right, Charlie. Your death came. early and you did nothing to stop that. and that took a tremendous amount of. bravery. You were right when you wrote. that you would have to choose between.

those you love and your mission. Ghost Town, the song is about a choice, too. Trying for a long time to make the. world love you before you realize that. there's no freedom in that and that the. happy ending is in freeing yourself from. that pursuit. freeing yourself from. trying to police a system that's never. going to actually love you back. Shortly after you died, a mutual friend. of ours told me, quote, "A soul in. struggle will eventually free itself,

and I think you freed yourself, Charlie, and I know that I will see you again. Until then, love, Candace.". Charlie really was an amazing person. You know, he was like. >> we were really close and he was he was. my best friend and my brother and I will. never. >> unsee the footage of what I saw. He. didn't deserve that ending. You know, he's really young. But I know that um we.

will carry the torch. I will never allow. the memory of Charlie to be forgotten. obviously because there is no Candace. without Charlie. you know, we came up in. politics together and so. >> I don't know what else to say, guys, other than um. >> a lot of pain right now. >> And I love you, Charlie. And I'll see. you when I when I'll see you. I love you. very much.

>> Our haters better have a lot of stamina. cuz we are just getting started. >> Because if you think you're going to. outwork Candace Owens and Charlie Kirk, you're wrong. cuz we're going to win and. they're going to lose. Thank you guys. >> Thank you guys. >> We're still the kids we used to be. >> Yeah.

>> And nothing hurts anymore. I feel.