We Don't Need Men (Full Josie Canseco Interview)

daddy gang i am here with josie consecos. and i i i'm gonna be honest i never. thought that i would. have you on the podcast one because we. didn't know each other really like i. feel like i've like. seen you on instagram i'm sure you've. seen me on instagram or you're gonna be. like nope i've never seen you in my life. no we have. obviously crossed paths yeah i'm seeing. each other i definitely knew who you. were when yeah i was like. [ __ ] yeah right so random though and so. i think. i was thinking about it and i'm like. just to get right into it daddy gang. the first real connection we had on the.

internet. was that your dad dm'd me oh my god i. i completely forgot that that happened. and i remember did you. tweet me about it or no i think someone. else. did they were just like yeah get your. dad so my dad does this. yeah and i think he does and i'm like. please do not do that to friends people. i know. younger girls like well and i wanted to. first almost. actually this is going to probably throw. you off i actually wanted to apologize. to you. because i feel like i've had time to.

think about it and i feel like in the. moment. i knew he was beefing with bar stool and. like i work with barstool so. i when i saw that i my initial reaction. was to post it because i'm like oh. there's creepy dudes in my dm's like. what the [ __ ] and then now. he's yelling at like barstool and all. these people about the fights and stuff. like. he kind of you know himself right right. so then i think in that moment. my initial reaction was like oh like um. protect bar stool. and like put like post it but as i've. now.

not i haven't really gotten to know you. yet but like now knowing. who you are also i wanted to say i'm. sorry because i can't imagine. being in your position and then like. having like we're. the similar age and then having to see. that like that [ __ ] sucks so now i. i'm i wish i could take that back so i. would say i'm sorry sweet i love that. you actually like afterwards you like. obviously thought about it in depth and. you're like wow like maybe like i don't. know how she felt about it could have. hurt her. yeah it makes you feel any better it's. okay it didn't. i honestly like my dad does whatever he.

wants to do whenever he wants to do it. he's a public figure he tweets and does. a [ __ ] and i don't really have a say in. it so at this point i've just kind of. been like. i take it as it comes like it is what it. is and i don't really get affected by it. but but also like this has been a thing. that he's like he doesn't really know. um who's my friend exactly who isn't. because he's not like that well verse. with like social media on instagram. but he dms he's like dm'd a lot of my. friends and sent that exact same thing. come to vegas here's my number blah blah. i'm just like father. that is my friend like we're he's just. not around like he's not super close so.

he doesn't know the people i hang out. all the time and so this is like a thing. that a lot of my friends have been like. yo your dad's yummy and i'm like. i'm sorry and it puts you in such a hard. position because you're like dad what. the [ __ ] that's my father he's like 55. 86 now i'm just like dad these are. my girls are like 20 21. i will i think. i was thinking about it because i'm like. people may be like wait who what the. [ __ ] what's going. on like if they don't know you if they. don't know your dad i think it's good. for us to kind of just like go all the. way back to the beginning. and kind of just start with like where. you're from who you are.

and obviously like your dad is a part of. your. life and like why at first you were like. quote unquote known and obviously now. you're so much more than just. jose canseco's daughter way more than. that but. kind of can you bring us through like. your childhood and like. i have talked so much on this podcast. about dating professional athletes josie. and it has been like i've seen but i. actually sucked so i've obviously did my. homework yeah watch my tapes yeah um you. have nicknames for them yes which i'm.

obsessed with like refer to anyone. like we can give like little nicknames. we can come up with nicknames for you. today because josie doesn't want to talk. like the straight names which i totally. respect we're just talking about josie. we're talking about josie today. but um so i've i've talked about dating. professional athletes and i was sitting. here and i'm like wow like this is going. to be such an interesting. interview because i'm sitting with. someone right now that is not isn't. dating professional athletes but is the. daughter of one. and i've seen his dating life and how. athletes perceive. girlfriends relationships and yes. doesn't seem great right. it's not it's not okay so can you kind.

of explain like growing up. as the in that position like walk us. through what that was like. so my parents split very young okay um i. don't know how far back you're going to. go i guess. they just like so my parents split super. young my mom they uh. met at a hooters it was my mom's first. day working at hooters and she like just. got a little poop job and she was so. excited and. the first day at work she met my dad. pretty much fell in love instantly and. he like took her up out of cleveland. ohio. got it um but yeah they met and they.

were together fell in love. got pregnant got married and then they. were only together for a couple years. because. i think there was a certain level of. like toxicity. and unfaithfulness between both of them. i think my dad kind of initially i mean. he was an athlete he was on the road. like back in the day. uh that era of baseball and like his. level success was like. massive it was like really put baseball. on the map as a sport. and and yeah and they just like kind of. split and then i was raised in l.a with. my mom. okay single mom just kind of raised me. your whole life me and her that's like. my rock my mom's like my best friend. on the planet she's like the best person.

ever and my dad. um just kind of always like. so he retired or not retired he got kind. of like black bald because i don't for. anyone who doesn't know. took steroids and like got uh got. cut out for i got kicked out of baseball. and then wrote a book and kind of like. snitched on people but it was actually. like the truth. and so my whole childhood with him he. was just kind of always since he stopped. playing baseball like kind of abruptly. he just always kind of had to chase the. next opportunity for money and success. because.

he went from being the highest paid. athlete in the world to having nothing. like i've seen my dad at a point having. like you know 20. to his name not knowing like his next. meal and stuff and like he's really been. through a journey. um that's already interesting too. because i feel like naturally just to be. honest i think. anyone would perceive you as being. not like. [Applause].

how okay so you're getting you're raised. by your mother what was your. relationship then with like your dad. like. was he in your life so. he tried to be here and there like he. lived in la for i'd say. maybe like four or five years total. throughout my entire life today. ever since then he's lived elsewhere. he's been uh playing softball like. playing baseball like little league kind. of. like whatever he can get his hands on to.

play and make money he would do that and. a lot of the time that meant not being. around me unfortunately but i you know i. mean he had to. he had to make money and to do something. so i kind of you know i have to give him. a little bit of respect for like. hustling totally but he wasn't around. really ever. so basically for everyone listening i'm. gonna. you can explain now like your most vivid. memory of your father. is probably when this book came out of. understand so basically because that was. the most controversial that was like. yeah i got a lot of heat for it and like. i didn't know what the [ __ ] was going on. yeah it was just like the time where he.

was probably the most uh controversial. he had this was like. the year after uh playing so we still. had money he was out in l.a he was. getting into acting he was always like. the playboy mansion writing. and he was like very um controversial. controversial but like still successful. and so as soon as he wrote the book and. the book came out i. got a lot of um heat for it i guess. his daughter and like heard a lot of. weird terms and like very derogatory. like. well let's first explain yeah the book.

was basically and correct me if i'm. wrong but he essentially came. out and exploited the mlb for. saying like a bunch of these guys are on. steroids and at first he got blackballed. because. everyone was like what are you talking. about that's not true that's not true. meanwhile ends up coming out that he was. slowly but surely. really true this is true right you know. yeah all of them. no but but all of them yeah and so at. first it was like oh you're a [ __ ]. snitch. because you're coming out and but what. you're revealing the truth and the dark. side of what at that time the mlb. was and the guys were testifying in.

court being like i have not i never have. this and that like mark maguire these. people were just like i swear to god. i've never done it and it's like. but you are then my dad was so bitter. because he was the only one who. my dad was obviously like not to like. yeah go forward. smoke up his ass right but yeah he was. like incredible at what he did he was. very talented. and you know either the steroid era was. like uh. controversial in the sense of like did. they really work that hard like. did it was it just steroids or whatever. but he was great and he lost. just like that his his passion and it.

was unfair that all these other players. kept making money and kept getting to. play. um and he didn't when they were all. doing the same thing when did he like. why did he stop playing why did he. retire. so so he got blackballed in the sense. that like no one offered him. a deal like everyone um just kind of. congregated and talked about the idea of. like do we want to play with jose do we. want jose to go on any of our teams he. went from being like highly paid and. like entertaining. one of the best players not a single. offer no one would speak to him no would. talk to him mark maguire his like bash. brother boy like cut him off like.

everyone completely. like blacklisted him from the mlb as a. whole and i think it was obviously the. organization. right that was like no we're done with. this. josie can you walk me through your life. when that book comes out and you're. now the daughter of a man that everyone. in america. is calling a snitch and can you walk me. through that like was there bullying etc. yeah uh i just like always so obviously. being josie canseco and having the name.

tied to me like i just always heard. about my dad. but he was never really around like he. tried to be and he tried to be there he. tried to be there for me and like this. is when he was in la and he was you know. local he lived in the valley i think in. like encino or something. and i see him here and there but like um. success and fame and money was always. before me and so therefore like like i. was. like for example like for i was like so. i cheerleaded for a while i can put up. cheering and and he would like. not show up to my competitions and have. it and everyone was like oh can seiko's. daughter could say get started i'd be. like.

where is he yeah yeah um i know he tried. his best but like he just had a lot on. his plate and maybe. you know i think sometimes people have. kids when they're not ready. ready or you know appropriate timing so. maybe that's part of it um. do you remember anyone like specifically. saying anything to you. about those like what would people say. to you they would just be like. i mean anything that they could shoot at. me for like. your your dad's a [ __ ] snitch blah. blah [ __ ] you and your family. at the time my mom had also like maybe. like a year after done playboy.

which was like back in its prime like. the cover full nude like. hot as [ __ ] like but for so many reasons. i know i'm like go mom go home. um but for so many reasons people were. like yeah your [ __ ] family [ __ ] this. [ __ ] you like your dad's a snitch like. your dad's like worthless it's like. and we'd i'd like be out in in public. with my dad and people would like yell. at him. like people had the audacity when we'd. be like walking in like a movie theater. or whatever i specifically remember a. time we were walking into a movie. theater like him and i together because. we'd had like daddy daughter like. whatever and walking out and someone's.

like you [ __ ] snitch. and i'm like i literally just like at. this time my dad wouldn't really educate. me on much because i was so young. but i knew like something was bad and i. knew something wasn't wrong. but i just like didn't know what so i. was like why do these people. hate my dad why is my dad like one of. the most. sought after spoken about kind of people. right now but i just. i was just young i didn't get it and i. didn't get why i was getting hateful. either and then. the older i got i just kind of like. learned that is. that's not a normal situation to have as.

a child that like you're walking into a. movie theater and people are screaming. at your dad. like i i can't even imagine what. mentally that. did to you and like psychologically. because you were an only child right. yeah. only child no no siblings just might. josie. okay so like i was like just dealing. with some family [ __ ] the other. we or have been dealing with it and i. have not publicly talked about right now. but like. i was thinking to i was saying to my. brother i was like i have no [ __ ]. idea what i would do if i didn't have my. siblings. because i look back at really hard times.

in my childhood when like my dad works. for the nhl. and when i was younger the nhl like went. on a big strike until my dad lost his. job. and i remember like all my friends. growing up were. really wealthy and when my dad lost his. job like i couldn't go to my parents and. be like hey can i have that extra 20. so i'd go to the mall and like there was. there was a really hard time in my life. where i was like. watching my parents struggle but i would. turn to my siblings and like. talk about it with them because all you. have right basically is like people like. family is like. unconditional right it's trusting and.

loving so but i'm like. but you didn't have siblings so like who. the [ __ ] did you go to in those moments. where you're like. in california your dad's nowhere to be. found and like your mom is your mom but. it's your mom like you didn't have. siblings like who did you go. to in dark times um. you don't no one no not really i just. kind of like i i think that. kind of translates into why i have this. like tough shell where i just like. kind of don't give a [ __ ] and i know. when to like shut off and detach and. [ __ ]. it's because like i didn't really have.

anyone to go to and resort to and like. my mom's upbringing with me is also a. different story she was around but she. was also kind of like. my dad okay so i'm gonna kind of put him. on blast i'd feel bad. um he just he never took care of us. never paid child support never nothing. my mom. had no job no nothing and had to raise. me single mom with like. nothing so she was kind of um. you know she was hustling too she had to. she had to work she did playboy she. ended up doing a reality show that was. like successful as well. um and she hustled but that means that.

she had to be absent as well a lot of. the time it's like you're just. alone so just she just just little. jersey. just be now i like i love it i. appreciate it because that's obviously. probably what i'm used to. totally i just i mean i just i don't. know i just. i couldn't even tell you i just did you. ever friends maybe. yeah i was gonna say like do you look at. your friends like with. greater value like they're like your. sisters i'm such a i'm such a loyal. uh ride or die for my friends like if i.

if i love you. and that's reciprocated and the. respective loyalties reciprocated i'll. like die for you. like when i connect with someone because. that's so important to me and it's so. rare and because i don't have. brothers and sisters like that is. priorities being an incredible people. i'm an incredible person right people. who are there for you and love you and. like now i have so many good. i mean actually not so many that's yeah. but i have a couple of really close. people that i can go to for. anything anytime anywhere and they're. there for me yeah and. i would like literally kill for them. type [ __ ] my other question.

was because this is we're going to get. into the dating [ __ ] but i wanted to. know. steroids are obviously a drug and i was. wondering like. were you able when you were younger and. in your life to separate. like your dad on when when that was the. case versus like. who basically like who he was like when. he was on drugs versus not like. or was it all one for you because like i. feel like it must have been hard to. differentiate at such a young age of. like why he was acting all from me.

but i did so he had obviously steroids. comes with like you know. mood swings and i definitely. um excuse me um i definitely. i definitely saw it and like i knew he's. on steroids because obviously he was. like public knowledge like. he's still his daughter i still know. what's going on i just don't know like. to what extent exactly yeah. um yeah i was tough he was he was he was. moody and he was uh. he was always in his head and he was. bitter from you know he was already had. a reason to be upset and be bitter and. much less right. uh yeah he was just kind of like i just.

didn't know what the [ __ ] steroids was. like i didn't know exactly how much he. was taking. like finding out that he was taking like. way above the appropriate dose to get to. a certain point of a certain build you. know right. you obviously also on top of that being. public it was public that. some of your dad's relationships were. like volatile and intense. yeah how did that affect. you at a young age and like how has it. affected you. with men i guess like it's very that's a.

very public topic i know it's probably. very sensitive and we don't have to talk. about it. no i'm just trying to make sure the way. i um uh obviously articulate it is is. the way i mean and. i'm getting my brain across properly. because no one's ever asking that. question. yeah and this is my second podcast um. take your time. i think that having the kind of dad i. did. whether it was watching him with. girlfriends with the cheating or the the. you know i i don't know if he's ever you. know laid a hand or done anything like.

these are things that i kind of like out. of sight out of mine. don't i don't really talk about those. kinds of things i just don't know what i. mean. but um i think just seeing how he was. as a partner made me have this bitter. taste. to men being like i will never be that. girl that gets like played and like. i just kind of i i move with a more of a. masculine energy. i think and i'm just like i don't know. i'm just not going to like stress about. a [ __ ] boy and like. be like just the way i treat them like i.

i'll have a thing with a guy and i'll. like be talking to them dating i won't. even sleep with them and i'll just like. you know we'll like talk and this and. that we'll hang out and then done boom. you can just move on over it like all of. a sudden one day things will just change. i'll just be like on to the next. type [ __ ] but maybe that's from seeing. my dad be like that and be. such like a [ __ ] boy because you saw. like the inner. workings from your bad and how men i. mean granted my dad's probably not a. great example. no but like guys but yeah that was my. example right i mean that was that was. my father figure growing up so it.

definitely made me move in a more like. cold kind of like. when i find that person it's different. but do you think that do you get. feedback from guys that you're like. intimidating and. kind of standoffish uh. yeah you do but no i don't know if stand. office is the right word i've definitely. gotten intimidating before and i've uh. a lot of guys have been like wow you're. the girl version of me like a lot of. guys i've like hung out with their data. they'll be like wow you're like. literally me and girlfriend and i'm like. i know. i know well because you're going about. it i kind of i that's.

i not that it's i don't know if it's. healthy or not but i say i'm not. even telling you right. yeah i think like i've said at times to. women that are looking for advice on. like there's so many guys. that are playing me and i don't know. what i'm doing wrong guys are like that. guys move the way like i kind of move. now they just like. talk to a girl get her hopes up the girl. gets feelings and then they bail like. i'm on the other end of that yeah and. i'm like if you get feelings for me. please. please escort yourself out please yes. don't call me like don't text me like i.

don't know i just. also when i fall for someone or if i. like really start liking someone has to. be reciprocated because i'll never be. the first one. okay like i'm never the needy one i'm. never the one that's like. oh like calling you every day let's hang. out blah blah like i know and it's not. even a game it's just kind of like how i. am with dating like i love. boys i love dating i think it's fun but. i'm never that girl that. is gonna chase one or like go out of my. way to like really be with one or. have you ever told a guy you loved him. first. yes yes really yes.

um my my last relationship wow. was that hard for you to say that it was. hard because the first time i said it he. didn't say it back. yeah but he said it ended like a week. later right right but um. what was that like it was i so it wasn't. a point where i was comfortable enough. to say it because i knew that we loved. each other. we were getting so close to a point. where i was just like i know he like. loves me and has love for me we're just. it's just a scary thing to say. especially i think for him it was just. like you know a moment.

to get over it of course um and. you took the no so when i said it and it. didn't say it back i was just like ah. that is a [ __ ] feeling and i don't want. to feel it ever again. but i'm i'm honestly like the older i. get the more i'm just like happy i'm. just like down to express myself if i. feel the same way about you i'm gonna. let you know. i'd rather be an open book yeah than. play games and like not. you know what i mean like if i feel yeah. i'll tell you i'm not right i actually. agree with you in the sense of like i. would never. say that i love someone first unless. i knew it was going like i knew it we.

had like a joke about it. yeah okay so you weren't like out of. nowhere the crazy girl that's like i. love you and it's like read the room. [ __ ] like what is going on. awareness don't say okay so here we go. you're a scorpio. i am i was like literally reading up on. scorpios you have to tell me if this is. true. um i'm a very cliche scorpio so we. really i think so yeah. okay they said scorpio women are. universally known as the sex. goddesses of zodiac josie oh my god.

renowned for their passion their strong. libidos and their exceptional. prows as lovers sex is extremely. important to these women and. sharing a sexual connection with their. deeply bonded lover is necessary for. them to feel. completely fulfilled in life that being. said scorpios don't really. love to sleep around nor do they take. sex casually so until they find their. soul match a scorpio. can feel a little adrift without a. partner is that true. uh yes the first half a little bit. also like in the sleeping around sense.

as well like it takes i. so i have a rule minimum rule so minimum. a month. of of knowing someone getting to know. them and like if i'm seeing someone. talking some minimum a month to two. months depending on like how close we. get how quickly. before i end up sleeping with them or. doing anything with them like the last. couple of guys i've been talking to i. just like. maybe kiss a couple times never even. like saw their penises or anything i was. like. um okay what i posted on my instagram. the other day which. i was dying because so many women were. like relating to it so i've heard that. before.

have you yeah so i've heard it so. typically i think i saw a tick talk. about it was like someone like. public speaker just like a ted talk type. thing being like your first love. is so do you want to say okay yeah so. yeah okay so i came up because i was. looking for books i'm like i think it. would be fascinating to. start reading books and then relating it. into the podcast because. we love to be educated yeah yeah so the. book is called you only fall in love. three times. and apparently the three people is. number one is the soul mate and the. soulmate introduces us to.

the first love yes the first love it. introduces us to the dream of love. but somehow what seemed like it would be. happily ever after wasn't meant to last. forever and it's like your soulmate and. they showed you what love. right and isn't it crazy like pop. thinking of the person. yes and they just showed you like what. love was then the next is we're so. consumed with making the karmic love. work that we often fail to question. whether it even should work. as painful as it is to accept this love. that felt so right in the beginning is. actually all wrong for you and so.

a lot of girls like right crazy i'm just. like i'm applying it to my life because. i've had two. people that i've been like in love. really head over heels in love with like. would marry them type [ __ ] wow. and so i'm like my third's next and like. thinking about that i'm just like. nervous yeah because the third one. you're like where is he. the third one guys is the twin flame. comes into our lives and often we don't. even know it's love because. da da da it's too easy this is the love. who helps us to accept ourselves just as. we are because this is precisely what.

they do everyone's like alex this is. [ __ ] caller daddy what are you doing. right now. no but i read this and i was like oh my. god and then josie dm to me and was like. oh my god i can already think of the two. of them so. can you walk us through again we're not. naming names but i think. you kind of walking us through a. relationship that you. knew oh my god this person is like my. soul mate i love this person and it. didn't work. out and how you walk away can you walk. us through that like first. love and kind of dissect just like some. of the. pros and cons and all the things because.

i think a lot of girls are like wait but. if it's your soul mate what the [ __ ]. i know that's what you think and you. work you works i promise to talk over. there i just hit the puff last night. stupid thing. you're um yeah so my first relationship. my first love like my first like real. love was four years and he was with this. musician who was like always on the road. always traveling i was in the studio. working touring whatever like kind of. that that the musician life of like you. know. girls on the bus getting [ __ ] up every. night this and that um. but we were so in love and so obsessed. um. and it was i think it just kind of like.

it started off a little rocky i think. the trust wasn't always there because. both of our jobs and what we did we were. young i was 18 he was like 25. 26 um okay and we just like we're so in. love but like in a controlling way like. i just knew like we started off we like. formed bad habits that we didn't know. how to break. as the as we progressed more and more. like years and years down the road. um and we would just like fight all the. time and what i learned also was like so. we would party a lot because he was like. kind of like a party boy and that was. like his brand or whatever. and and we travel the world together and.

party but we would argue when we partied. and i think because the alcohol. um intensifies the emotions and the. environment the girls and throwing. themselves at him whatever it was like. it was just it was hard because we were. so in love but we were in. one of the most like toxic environments. for what our love was and for what it. needed. and we were also like young i was. learning i was growing up like i had you. know my coping mechanisms back there for. like back then for heartbreak were a lot. different like. if we were super on and off so whenever. we'd break up i'd be like well i'm gonna. go out and lay. like do this and go to this guy's after.

party and be around these people and. blah blah like [ __ ] you. right type [ __ ] like more spiteful and. like toxic behavior. absolutely because you're younger and. like that's what i like. and then we just kind of so so my. process with it was that we were. together for four years. um and we fought so much and just kind. of couldn't. we try to make it work so many times. we're just like let's try this let's do. this let's make it work i love you. enough like let's just [ __ ] do it. eventually i fell out of love like. eventually i just kind of was like. it's not there from anymore like i kind.

of just fell out of love um. loved him to this day like i love him to. death will always like want the best for. him. um but passion wise and like for me to. like continue to be with someone. it just wasn't there anymore and even. then i tried to stay a little bit longer. i think we both did and. because you know loyalty and love. totally that unconditional the idea of. unconditional love and marriage is like. you go through hard times like how. how are people married for like 50 60. years yeah and it's hard when you like. because i'm sure every i feel like every. couple does like you talked about. probably marriage and babies and all the.

things. like you go there i think there was a. point where he was like about to like. propose to me like we talked about like. we were like we had promise rings and. this and that like we were just like so. in love but so young and. um and yeah and so we just kind of like. eventually one day like something popped. off and like i. remember like going on his phone and. finding something that like really. bothered me and i was already like i was. already ready to go i was like one more. thing happens and like i just see myself. like having that switch and it's. flipping and it's done. right and um and then yeah then that.

happened and i just kind of was like. i gotta go one of us has to go right. this is bad one of us has to go and if. one of us doesn't go. we're going to end up hating each other. and like this can't i have to think. about myself and be selfish. selfish finally so when you. talk about leaving because that topic is. there's so many [ __ ] layers to that. the amount of people. women men i don't give a [ __ ] who it is. when you make the decision to leave. something that. you were so in love with someone there's.

history there there's years there. and that i think is a lot like people. are well i just those four years of my. life i can't leave them. it's so hard to see like what life is. gonna be like without that person. did you were you the type of person that. then went. like did you guys keep texting a little. after the breakup like how did you. handle moving on because a lot of people. write in being like. it's so [ __ ] hard to go from being in. bed with someone every day they're your. best friend you love them. and then what you're just not supposed. to talk it's literally like morning to. death like how did you go.

how did you go about it so obviously i. was a bit younger my breakup i went as. soon as we broke up i was just like. i tried to replace him i tried to. replace it i was just kind of like. dating i started seeing someone like i. even got to a place where we were like. exclusive kind of. um oh right right away right away wow i. mean not right away but like right away. like pretty much but also like keep in. mind i was already had been checked out. of this relationship for like maybe like. five six months like at least it was. just kind of like. waiting to like us to finally separate. um. and also when i was younger and maybe.

this stems back to like you know not. having a father figure. always like my my one figure my one. sense of stability within a man. had just collapsed after four years. someone i thought was gonna spend my. life with it all collapsed so i was like. i need maybe it was another sense of. like love from a from a guy or a man or. just someone to like make me. feel yes like a male presence just to. make me feel happy and good and complete. and like when i was younger. stemming back to like dad [ __ ] maybe i. thought that that's what i needed and.

i've learned now that it's like so. not so it's so within you need to be on. your own for me exactly and go through. that healing process. um and we we definitely talked a bit we. would. it was more toxic and we would argue. because he would hear like oh you're. with this guy or you're with that guy. blah blah like. what are you doing you [ __ ] oh you. thought that's not you know what i mean. like the [ __ ]. jealous emotional yeah so we fought a. lot but then there were times like. you know where we would try and hang out. a little bit but as much as we like even. like you know. um not recently but like we all.

up until my last relationship we kind of. were just like dabbling with the idea of. making it work again maybe or hanging. out but every time we did it just wasn't. there for me. yeah it just wasn't it it wasn't like. that fire wasn't there anymore it's like. the soul mate that taught you. what love is but it's not right yeah i. think that's. i do think that's fascinating josie. because like now as you've gotten older. it's interesting because now you're. almost like you. were now in a relationship and now. you're single and instead of running to. a new guy you're. i mean you're like please i'm not i'm. not. like alex wait until you see tmz this.

week i've got a new boyfriend i'm like. [ __ ]. no i am i'm being better about it like. i'm not out here like sleeping with. anyone i'm not. you know i'm making it very clear that. i'm pretty emotionally unavailable. in the sense of just like really wanting. the best for myself and i want to focus. and so this is the way i look at it it. just none of these people that i've been. with. are my person you know what i mean like. it's just like long like when you think. about all the details of it and you. think about. uh how it went down and you know. the the whatever it was just he's not my.

person he's not he's not he's not the. guy that i meant to be with and i and i. find. closure in that in itself yeah. acceptance and i'm just like. that's cool like so my dad taught me. growing up because whenever i'd like be. sad about a boy like i had like a high. school love that i was like thought i. was in love but it was like right. we were like 14 15. it wasn't real and i. was like distraught about it i was just. so upset my dad's like josie you're. going to fall in love so many times. you're going to have so many. like romances and boyfriends and. relationships like do not do this and. like to this day that sticks with me so. when i when. any any time anything falls apart i'm.

just like. i'm good i'm good we're good whether i. have someone or have myself like i love. myself so much right now and i'm so. proud of myself for getting to this. point of. you know just completely supporting. myself being strong mentally like you. know being very independent. and you know getting through those uh. you know unhealthy coping mechanisms. that i used to have. i think that's like good no that's. interesting what your dad told you. because it is so. true and i think it's so hard to tell. people that until you experience it like. i have been in love before and i have a.

boyfriend right now and like. those people that i was in love with i. at times. right after maybe i would be like oh i. regret that but like. you go through the motions right you're. bitter yeah you miss them and then. you're like [ __ ] them and then you're. like you're neutral. and then you're like holy [ __ ] thank god. that happened did you. feel that like a pressure when you were. younger because of the name that you had. oh yeah i just yeah because i feel like. a lot of the celebrity kids. are um you know well off they have a.

safety net something to fall back onto. if they don't want to like bust their. ass and work. and that was never the case like when i. first started modeling i was uh. had like maybe a hundred dollars a week. to spend in new york and. and i was in model apartments where it's. like six girls shoved into it's like. three girls per bedroom we're all in. twin beds. and it's just like co-existing with all. these other girls that don't even speak. english or they like are smoking in the. apartment. like i had nothing and everyone was like. oh she's consecutive why doesn't she.

have this and that and i'm like because. i don't have because i don't have that. i don't have it at all i have that but i. felt like i had to always make it seem. like i was okay. like i love to like not fake it till you. make it. but like fake it till you make it like. put on your face and make it work and. get a cute style on going to castings. and stuff and. play the part that's so crazy i didn't. even think about that like you. everyone has a per like an image that. they think you are. like you're rich you're beautiful oh my. gosh she's got like the greatest life. and then you're saying like it actually. was kind of the complete opposite in.

terms of having. yeah wait so you were in it with them. and at what age. um 17 18 and then. uh i would say by the time i was 19 i. kind of like had enough of a clientele. was making enough money i was actually. making like pretty good bank like. the reason why i actually like gave up. everything i started modeling is because. i end up being a full-time gig like some. of the first couple jobs i did were. uh massive big deals especially in like. the fashion industry over in new york. um that's amazing yeah no you finally. started making money and you're like i'm. gonna stick with this i saw faith and i.

was just like i just i worked and worked. at work and. i stayed with it and i adjusted to new. york and i just stuck through with the. model apartments and i was just like i. want it. i will be i will admit i wouldn't say. now but like prior to. educating myself more on what models go. through. i feel like a lot of people are probably. like listening and they're like okay. like you are so [ __ ] easy like you. have a. perfect body and you have like no. imperfections can you. explain a little bit though about like. what. really is the truth about a modeling.

career and like what. it does take and and body image and what. you go through on a day-to-day basis of. trying to keep and maintain. a certain image because i think people. think it's so easy. and i'm going to say there's that stigma. that's like oh you model like whatever. but yeah actually like. and also it comes with also like don't. like people like oh you're not then you. have no talent and it's like well. like i think people think because i. think maybe because the instagram model. has. shifted now it's like a blurred line of. like what an actual model is but i came. up in the more traditional way that was. just like the grind to get there.

and not having much uh was hard and it's. definitely. like for i also don't want to give like. a sob story like me no but. um i can't remember the last time i. looked in the mirror and was happy with. how i looked. because of because of the industry and. the competitive nature especially new. york city when all the girls are so. [ __ ] tiny and they go above and. beyond to be that small at least this is. more traditionally back in the day when. that was like what you had to be. like right you walk into an agency they. put a measuring tape around your waist. your bust and your hips and if you don't. have the right numbers you're not. getting it you're not even meeting the.

directors of it whatever. like it was incredibly incredibly strict. and that was hard for me because i was. an athlete and i was a dancer so i had. like. more built naturally i'm just like a. little bit not thicker but like athletic. yeah. yeah exactly um and. yeah it just took like it really was a. lot mentally in the sense of like. what it does to you and you know you you. get told no no. no no no and then eventually it pays off. when you hit that moment where it's like. yes and then i started walking for like.

moschino. and doing like bigger campaigns and. stuff like that um but to get told no so. many times. it i can only imagine the dark place. people yeah yeah. and then it'd be like all the girls are. out doing like drugs and [ __ ] and. partying it's so easy to get dragged. into that life in new york especially. new york because all the guys like. all the models can go wherever whenever. same like in la you know. hot girl you can do whatever the [ __ ]. you want um so when you get told no no. no and you. start going into it and you start. spiraling into that dark place it's like. let me lose more weight let me try to. like figure out how can i bend the next.

thing because you're also so for. castings for shows you're in a room and. there's like 100 girls there and you've. been there for like six hours waiting. just to walk in a line. for a casting director because of how. important that show would be for your. career. it's just a show you're just walking. it's not even a campaign you so shows. also like you they don't pay shows pay. like 500. but shows are so important for the. resume in the fashion world and it's. just like walking for gucci is like they. don't really pay. but it's like you just [ __ ] gucci. right right because then it can get you. a huge. campaign exactly it leads to bigger and. better um.

yeah and you sit there and all you're. just sitting here and like half the. girls don't speak english like you've. never met anyone there's hundreds of. girls in the room. and you're just like and all of them are. just like so perfect. perfect and tiny in their walks and. you're just like i'm. looking at these girls and i'm picking. myself to pieces picking myself apart. looking at all these other girls and. like their thigh gaps and and you know. fat on their stomach they're like they. have none like. right right where'd it. yeah it's just like and what that does. to you mentally because you see the.

girls who get the part. and that's that girl and you're like. [ __ ] is that is that what i need to do. to book this role because you want it so. bad like that feeling of. booking a show or booking a campaign and. getting that thing that you like we're. aiming for she's like a sport when you. finally like totally. bowl it's like totally fine you walk the. video or something but it's. but it's such a dark spiral because it. is because it's all based on what you. look like like nobody gives a [ __ ] about. your personality. you could be the biggest [ __ ] [ __ ]. you could be a sweetheart no one really. cares no one cares if you're educated no. one. and that's where you speak at all you.

don't speak to anyone you have a. conversation if you do they think you're. too friendly so they're like. next yeah someone who's more like just. yeah and i remember that's when we. before we started. um talking daddy gang i was talking to. josie and i was like i. i watched you on youtube and i thought. you were so articulate and she was like. oh my gosh thank you because. i feel like you don't get really an. opportunity to. like use your like it's your brand is. obviously more you're a model like your. pictures are perfect like you're amazing. and then it's like to hear you. speak it's so cool because you have so. much more than you always get nervous.

because i'm like kind of breaking out of. that shell and being. just being in la now again and being. part of people who are so public with. their lives. and you know being on youtube or. whatever it may be like i'm getting used. to it but it makes me nervous especially. with how accessible information is. right with people and cancel culture. like i get nervous to like and god. forbid if you don't have the. the opinion of the majority then you're. like shunned you know what i mean. it's like even like politically like. it's just it's just hectic and it's so. hectic right now. out of it because i just try and stay in. my own lane yeah and in person i'm like.

i'll definitely. you know what i mean like talk about. topics that i'm passionate about right. into a conversation i'm like pretty. opinionated. but online i just think there's a point. to like i get influencing people but. it's just it's hectic it's it is always. something a response a tweet likes. whatever it was like. have you have you openly talked about. dealing with depression and anxiety. anxiety yes not necessarily depression. because. i mean i've i've hit those points right. i've hit like really because i can be. emotional i'm a little scorpio so like. oh my god.

in my fields um and i've hit those. points but like i really really try so. hard to not get to those points because. i'm. disappointed in myself uh just the. things i'm i do the things i'm capable. of when i. am like in that dark place and i try and. stay incredibly optimistic you know the. glass is. um half full right empty and look at the. bright side of things and. i've learned it took a while to train. your mind to be this way. but i just like don't let [ __ ] get to me. now well i think you even acknowledging. like. you when you go into that dark place at.

least you recognizing like oh [ __ ] i see. where i can be. taking myself and i don't like that. version i notice it when i see it. happening and sometimes it happens and. like. could i ask you and you can say no but. like when you were saying. you you see like you recognize when. you're. like going down that dark path like. could you give us an example for anyone. that may be like oh i do that too. i just like it's hard to say like one. example like one specific. it's just a domino effect of like me. being hard on myself because i'm such a.

[ __ ] critic on myself like i get so. hard on myself like i'm saying like. well i can't remember the last time i. looked in the mirror and was like. satisfied with what i look like that's. not. cool right that's not right so whenever. i see myself having those thoughts i'm. just like. joe's like you're good but it's just. like a domino effect of like oh like. like this is this is wrong and this is. wrong and oh i gained this weight this. week and oh my my skin's dry or whatever. and spiraling in my family and then. financially and what if i you know what. i mean like yeah and then it spirals. everything starts i just think like i. have like a door for the most part i.

have a door. and for the most part the door is closed. to all things that are out of my control. and things that will bring me down but. sometimes the door is cracked. because mentally whatever i'm going. through whether it be a breakup or. family issues like that door opens up. and i'm in a vulnerable place. things [ __ ] pour in naturally and. it's out of my control and that's when. my anxiety kind of like some days it's. like crippling like i. don't want to socialize like i've been. super introverted lately too like really. not i've been too. i feel like i haven't been i'm just like. because the pandemic i'm just like i was. in a relationship but now i'm just like.

yeah i just also like i'm just in a work. mode like yeah. do you like being alone i love it i do. too i love it because i think like i am. like. you know only child alone like not much. family whatever that's true but when i. find that person like i said with like. friends and stuff i'm just like oh. that's right like you're just like. cuddly and more sweet and just. like you're so good at being on your own. but you welcome having a partner or. someone. just cherish having those connections. with people i think. like love and relationships and loyalty. some of the most most beautiful things.

that you can bring to someone and get. out of someone. have you ever been in a situation where. you're hooking. just exclusive like not exclusively. you're hooking up with someone but you. don't know if they're hooking up with. other people or no you're always yeah. of course of course i mean well yeah. yeah. yeah i have and because we don't really. have the conversation and and this is. the thing also like i'm never. it takes a while for me to be the one to. like bring it up yeah because i'm cool. too like i'm cool with us doing our own. thing. but once the feelings grow and it's been. like a couple months of us doing the.

same thing talking every day and like. two three months comes along and like we. haven't done anything about it then i'm. like. do you ever ask yeah no i've asked i've. asked i've asked how do you ask. um i was just like i'm trying to think. exactly what i said because it's like. because. yeah no because it's like i think it can. really turn people off just like i've. had guys ask me and then i'm more turned. off like. it's a weird question yeah it's just. kind of like it's hard because if you're. enjoying yourselves and then someone. asks but like i get why they're asking. and i've asked at some times but it has.

to be. i don't know it's hard when when did you. ask well it was um. it was three months of talking to. someone every single day uh we were. pretty public at the time also. and but we had never had the like. exclusivity conversation and so. eventually i was just like yeah so. um it was actually like valentine's day. the next day and i was like. didn't know if like he had a plan or. what and we were together the night. before and i was like yeah so. um well what are we doing here like i. would just like to know for my sake. because i also like i think sometimes.

it's good to clarify what it is because. god forbid like. one person slips up or if i were to go. do something hook up with someone else. and then he's like well [ __ ] you you did. that bye like yeah let's clarify it so. it's healthy. yeah and not like a messy situation. because always being in that middle area. with like. feelings but no label is always like oh. absolutely. hectic and how did it go not good. he uh he he was like this is all i have. to give right now. this is like this is this is it this is. like i i can't do anymore and i.

disappeared from his life i just like. ghosted full blown. because i'm like that also like if and. the way he uh. he went about it just kind of like. rubbed me the wrong way and i'm also. like it took so much in me to even ask. that question and then to be. rejected and then and then i was just. like [ __ ] this like this is not. what i'm doing i respect that i do think. it's like if you. if you are because i think a lot of. times people get in a situation where. they want to. know but even no matter what the answer. sometimes they're not going to walk.

so like if you're listening and you want. to ask him like. hey what is what are we and he's going. to say. oh i'm just not there right now well. what. know what you want when he gives you. answer a or b. because sometimes girls go into it and. they're like what are we and he's like. oh like i'm just chilling and she's like. okay okay yeah me too i'm just chilling. too yeah and then she's all up so. everyone right yeah all right right yeah. totally then you go home and you're. crying and it's like. if you go into it i that's my one advice. if you're gonna ever ask someone what we.

are. know kind of like josie knew like if he. gives you that answer you knew you were. kind of gonna walk. that is way more healthy eventually. after i mean after three months of time. and. and after like you know if you're like. traveling with this person like we're. like pretty much [ __ ]. like we're doing it we're sleeping. together fully like together and then. when it comes down to him being like i. don't want a relationship i was just. like that's such a fuckboy thing that. i'm not going to put up with yeah. i deserve something different i. completely agree so i was just like yeah. i'm good on all that. and then he came back around because. they always come back they always. [ __ ] especially.

come back around especially all of them. when you act like that when you're like. okay like you don't really care because. i don't. really care i'm not gonna stress over. like josie how. to tell if someone wants a relationship. or just a hookup the amount of. women that write into this podcast and. they're like i cannot tell. if he wants a relationship if he wants a. hookup i feel like that. question in itself gives you the answer. but like let me no you just. it's just being like kind of it's hard.

a little bit you have to this is the. thing you have to know guys you have to. know how to play their game and you have. to know how they move. in order to kind of know when they want. a relationship when they don't but the. thing is that some guys are just like. they'll like lead you into thinking that. that's what they want which i've learned. just being. up front from the beginning if you don't. want it that's not what you're looking. for be honest about it. do you is that what you ask guys like. would you be upfront and ask a guy that. no i'm the one who says it i'll be like. like as of recently like if i'm like. dating or this and that i'm just like i.

am not looking for a relationship. i suggest you don't get feelings. i is that mean i don't know why i'm just. like this is why you're on the show. i love you thank you this is why you're. here josie no i do i did not say that to. their face i'm just like don't i'm. telling you right now i'm not in a place. where like oh you're gonna be safe with. me like did you say that before you. started dating your last ex. boyfriend or no uh. no because i wasn't in that place i'm. i'm in this place because i'm fresh off. a breakup.

and i'm not looking to like replace it. because anyone knew i'm just like on my. own. bad i think before yeah yeah because i. think a lot of girls will say that. but don't mean it and that's a [ __ ]. issue when you're like. i don't want a relationship and like my. friend lauren she recently got out of. breakup. and she's been saying that to guys and. they don't believe her they're like oh. yeah sure haha like you're gonna go fall. in love and she's like. i do not i'm wanna relationship that's. me right now do a tea. tea and you're like how do i make it so. they think it's a game they like want to. go after you even more like oh she's. emotionally unavailable she doesn't care. watch me like make her fall in love i'm.

like i warned you. right i'm really not the one but i think. that's good to be upfront about it but i. do think. like if you're on the other end of it. you can't tell if someone wants to be in. a relationship and i do think that's. kind of the. answer like i feel like guys you'll know. yeah if someone wants to be with you. they will be with you they'll show it. within their actions not just words. um and i think and i think that you'll. know and if also it just has to be like. reciprocated like everything kind of has. to come. together as one right and you'll feel. that connection yeah and typically if. you have a feeling like a red flag in. your gut.

a red flag in your gut there's a red. flag in the gut there's a real flag in. my gut i get i get what you're saying. you know i'm saying there's a red flag. you should just like you know be aware. of those and be aware of what guys are. capable of like emotionally they work. differently than we do and just kind of. um just don't prioritize it like let it. happen organically and don't be like oh. does he want it does he want it like. just play it cool. be that cool girl like don't be too. needy don't be too up his ass. like let him focus on his work and let. him come to you. right you know and you do the same like. go focus on yours be that independent.

boss [ __ ] who like doesn't isn't. looking for a man but if the right if. the cards. you know are played properly and it. happens then because don't. i feel like when when you feel yourself. chasing around someone and being more in. their [ __ ] it's like. pause and be like you need to be so up. your own [ __ ] that you don't have. time to be up someone else's. and like right so we have so much work. to do and so much like. because it feels gross yeah like. internal personal growth yes. like ladies if you're listening to this. like and you find yourself constantly. wondering if what he wants.

then you're not focusing enough on other. [ __ ] why do you have enough time. to make it clear that's probably not the. guy you want to be with regardless if. you want to be with you he's going to be. going to call you and see you and talk. to you he's going to call you like. it's not it's not that hard you know. agree. jose there you have it what is what is. next for you you're going to shoot. um in mexico yes i'm going to mexico on. uh what day is it it's on sunday going. to mexico on sunday for the week to. shoot this cover that i. can't say what it is but i'm very. excited about it yeah i'm excited also. just like little mexico trip. and you're single right now i am single.

very single like really just focus on me. how long do we think that's going to. last a while i think. i mean i think i don't know it's kind of. hard to tell i just don't unless you. find that twin flame. i've had people you know since my last. relationship that i've like really cared. for and really gotten really close with. oh wow. but like i said i'm just like i can't. give myself up to a partner the way i'd. like to right now like i have so much. personal growth to go through and i have. so much i want to accomplish and i find. myself being way more. uh focused and motivated without a. partner like getting my [ __ ] done and.

like sometimes you get comfortable in a. relationship and you. you know kind of like you're like oh i. have this safety net of this love and. this person you don't really crush it as. much as you should be crushing it and. i agree so yeah i'm single i'm single. for a while she's tomorrow. thank you so much for coming on telling. us your story you're amazing. thank you.

[Music]. [Music]. you.