The Situationship Survival Guide

Hello everyone. Welcome back to another. Sunday session. I realize there is an. epidemic that we kind of need to. address, okay? And it's affecting our. nation. It's affecting our friends. It's. affecting our family, our co-workers. It's affecting the girls at your Pilates. sculpt classes. It is. It's always been. prevalent in our society, but I fear it.

is becoming more popular than ever. What. am I talking about? [laughter]. I am of course talking about the good. old situationship. Okay, do not get me. wrong. I am sure situationships have. been around since the beginning of time. There was absolutely someone caveman. days being like, "Hey, I I would really. like to hang out with you, you know, in. this cave, but I'm not looking for. anything serious right now." And I'm not.

judging anyone for getting caught in a. situationship. I actually would say you. probably haven't even lived until you've. tiptoed around the what are we. conversation for about 3 months, right? But I will say I think it is time to. face this epidemic head on. daddy gang. Which is why today I wanted to present. to you the Call Her Daddy situationship. detox plan. Here we go. Everyone's like, "Nope, I'm.

clicking out." I totally get if you're. in a situationship and you don't want to. hear from me right now. Live with your. head in the sand, right? Like, I get it, girl. Some of you are like, "No, no, no, no, no." But I do think a lot of you. want to hear about this because I've. gotten a lot of DMs of like how to. survive a situationship. So, let's just. get into it. What exactly even is a. situationship? I am so glad that you. asked. I was talking to my friend about. this the other day and she's recently. single. She's not ready to start.

seriously dating again. But she did say. to me, she's like, "But I don't know, like maybe I would love a. situationship." I literally like grabbed. her wrist and I was like, "Listen to me. Listen to me, Becky." Okay, that's not. her name. But I said we do not want a. situationship. Okay, because because. because because for so many reasons. Because the very foundation of a. situationship is built upon the idea. that one person wants a relationship and.

the other wants the attention without. the commitment. And so, sure, Becky, you can seek one. out and find someone willing to come. over and snuggle and watch Grey's. Anatomy with you, but then are you down. for days of wondering if he's going to. text you? Is that really worth that one. couch snuggle or that one really good. like, h, but he's so good in bed? I know. what you're thinking cuz I've been there.

before. You're like, you know what? Maybe maybe it's the woman who would be. the one in the situationship. Okay. And. I I guys I completely agree. Girls can. want casual too. Women can want casual. too. That's not what I'm saying. I am. just saying that you have to be honest. with yourself about it. And with love to. me, myself and I when I was in college. and high school and out of college and. to all my girls watching and to my. friends that I was having brunch with. I.

just know the second the guy is going to. tell my friend at least in this current. situation in her mental state like uh. you look so cute in sweatpants. I know. she's cooked. I know she's cooked cuz I. know she actually likes this guy. And as. much as she's like oh my god a. situationship would be like kind of. major with him. No, no, no. A. relationship would be major with him. You're just saying the beginning days of. this could be major with him. But then. you're also kind of fantasizing. you're. not actually thinking about crying on. the bathroom floor when he doesn't. answer you at 2 a.m. As I was talking to.

her about this, I did realize, and I. think it's important to break this down, situationships come in all shapes and. sizes, and I think it's important to. identify. them, especially if you are someone that. could be getting caught up in these, right? So, I want to walk through a few. today. Again, all of the queens calling. the shots in a situationship, I salute. you. I love you. But to make it easier. today, I am going to just kind of talk. to the girls, which is primarily my. audience who are in a situationship with.

a man and they want more. Okay, again, I. know I know that we can be the players. too, guys. But you guys, if you are in. that situation, you don't need my help. We need the girls who are currently. crying on the bathroom floor. This is. for you. Call Her Daddy is brought to. you by Hidden Valley Ranch. Daddy gang, it is almost Halloween, which means most. of you are probably, I don't know, scouring the internet trying to find the. perfect costume right about now. But me, I am scouring the grocery aisles looking.

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plate at all times, so bringing a bottle. is always the answer. Grab a bottle of. Spooky Ranch by Hidden Valley Ranch. today. Only available at Walmart. The. first situationship that I want to. address because there's a bunch of. different ones is just the classic. situationship. Okay, case A, let's call. it. You basically, let's say you start. hooking up with a guy who says he. doesn't want anything serious. He just. got out of a long-term relationship. two whole years ago, probably. But you.

hold on tight in case he changes his. mind. Right. That's case A. That's like. the classic. I would say case B is like. the deadline situationship, right? And. this is kind of more when like he likes. he says he likes you, but he also tells. you immediately like, oh, he's moving. away in usually in an unidentified. amount of time, right? Like maybe it's. for business school or maybe, you know, he's going to surf camp in Costa Rica at. the end of summer. Either way, he.

basically explains to you he can't get. attached before he moves and you know, god forbid he falls in love and you guys. do long distance. That's not an option. Okay, he's moving so we have to keep it. casual. Then I would say the other. option of a situationship case would be. more like the intimacy in the front, avoidance in the back situationship. What does that even mean? Okay, what I. mean is on the second date he introduces. you to his parents. Oh yes, he does. And. on the third date, you know, you're.

driving down the coast, you're going to. Joshua Tree with him for a weekend away. It is all gas. It is no breaks. You are. flying high until he accuses you of. moving too fast. And then he goes radio. silent and he leaves you watching. avoidant attachment Tik Toks and he. completely ghosts you and you have no. idea what you did wrong. You're like, "Wait, I literally met his parents. I. may or may not had my entire Pinterest. board as wedding dresses and engagement. rings. What happened? It's like, babe, you happened thinking that this man who.

you've known for 48 hours was actually. in love with you. Sorry, was that too. harsh? Okay, then case D. I would say this is like the sleeper. situationship. Okay. And this one I do. think may have. kind of gotten a lot of us. It's gotten. me before. It's probably gotten you. before. It's the sneakiest one. It's. maybe the most common one, which is the. situationship that can just be hiding in. plain sight. Case in point, it's called,

or I'm calling it the sleeper. situationship, right? It has been going. on for so long and you look up and you. realize it is 2 years later and he still. thinks it's too soon to bring you to his. college friend's wedding. 2 years. We're. in the camp for 2 years. You know. everyone in his life. You know every. mole on his body. You know every tattoo. You know every craving. You know every.

food he likes. You know everything. You. know everything about him. But still. still there's no permanence to it. Right. I think no matter the case, whichever one you've fallen into, it. basically I think every situationship it. has a few classic benchmarks. So I want. to like talk about basically like the. life of a situationship starting from. the very beginning like how does this. happen right and what are the effects of. it to all my girls. Okay, let's start.

with there is this adrenaline high that. comes with entering into a. situationship, right? Let me set the. scene. Maybe you're at the bar. Maybe. you matched on Tinder, but you meet this. guy and the chemistry is undeniable. It. is electric. It's just immediate, right? And then from there, anytime his name. pops up on your phone, your heart just. drops. And pretty soon you're texting. every single day and you're both going.

back and forth and the speed is. lightning and you're texting and you're. hanging out one or two nights a week and. you're sending pictures of the food you. ate for lunch and all of a sudden you. kind of start to have these inside jokes. and it's, you know, it's not consistent, but it's a high that you start to have. and you're not dumb. you're not fully. planning a wedding in your head yet, but. you're also not not looking at your. wedding schedule for next summer and you. know thinking about like ooh like am I.

allowed to bring a plus one to. Cassandra's wedding cuz he could be the. one. And so it's like in a real. relationship, you're getting constant. reassurance, but in a situationship, one. day you're the sexiest woman he's ever. laid eyes on, and then the next you. don't exist enough to even warrant a. text. Okay? And so this is where. psychology just comes through and hits. us right in the face, you guys. When. this happens, this actually triggers. something called intermittent.

reinforcement, which let me just. explain. It literally means it's. basically the same exact feeling as if. you go to Vegas, okay, and you keep. hitting those slot machines, ladies, and. you're like, "Boom, boom, hit it again. Boom, the slot machines." That high, that feeling is the same thing in a. situationship. When you don't know when. the next hit is coming, whether it's a. kiss or a text, your brain starts. chasing after it. And because it's so.

unpredictable, like a Vegas slot machine, your brain. releases a way bigger spike of dopamine. when it actually finally arrives cuz. you're waiting. You're waiting. You're. waiting. Oh my god, it happened. So, in a normal consistent relationship, you can just be level-headed and you can. ask yourself like, "Oh, do I actually. like this guy?" Like but in a. situationship you literally become. addicted to the highs that this very. very very emphasis on very average man's.

attention is giving you. So like I think it's like really. important to also recognize like guys. like he's actually not that special. It's literally just the up and down. feels so good to our bodies even though. it's not good for our bodies that it's. like masking that he's actually an. interesting standup man that you're like. h so good in my family. And so that's. why all the red flags I think go out the.

freaking window, right? He still brings. up his ex, but like isn't it just so. great? like he's been in a serious. relationship before. It's like I will. know. [gasps] But this is guys, this is. what we do ourselves. I'm like, "Okay, fine." Like, you know, he's never once. mentioned like any future plan, but you. know, he we're taking things day by day. Like we're good like that. Like we. communicate like when it's time, it's. time. We don't want to rush anything. Like,

and then all of a sudden, right as you. start to get comfortable and you keep. telling yourself all these lies, right. as you stop analyzing every text and. hookup and you kind of like start to get. a little bit more comfortable, the sky, it's like a movie. The sky just like. randomly turns dark and all the crows. start to circle and you feel a little. chill down your spine. You're like, "What's [laughter]. going on?". >> [snorts]. >> And maybe he doesn't, you know, respond. to a text for a day. Maybe you talked.

about hanging out after his work thing. and he never followed up with you. Maybe. he stopped Snapchatting you. Good. morning. Even though you can see he's. active and his snap score keeps going up. and you tell yourself, [clears throat]. "Oh, yeah. Um, he's just busy. He's busy. with work. He's such a working man." But. you know the truth. You know the truth, guys. Something has shifted.

So that is like phase one of our. situationships. Lightning. Boom. I'm in. love. This is amazing. He didn't text. me. Oh my god. I got the dopamine hit. Boom. He's back. Oh, this feels good. And then you enter phase two. And phase two is basically trying to be. chill while having absolutely. no chill. And this is the phase where. maybe you kind of lightly bring up. somehow some way without coming off like.

a full psycho the idea of being. exclusive, right? And and maybe you. don't verbatim say the word exclusive, but you kind of start to like test the. waters a little bit cuz you're a little. bit like, okay, all of this. inconsistency is starting to make me. feel like I need a little bit more. consistency and I like him, so like. let's try to lock something down here a. little bit. And when you try to bring. this up, [sighs and gasps] you're met. with the classic, I really like hanging out with you. I'm. just like not ready for something.

serious. And then you tell yourself, cuz you just. got rejected. You tell yourself, "Oh my. god, it's totally valid." Totally. Totally. Right. Like, babe, don't be. crazy. Like, Rome wasn't built in a day. I can't expect too much. Maybe you even. remember that story that your girlfriend. told you about how her dad wasn't sure. about her mom and now they've been. married for 40 years and they have four. kids and they're you know their marriage. is so successful and it's like see.

Tim Tim and Tim Tim and Teresa. they didn't have an immediate bond but. now they live on the culde-sac and. they've got four kids and that is so. going to be me and him right and you. think, okay, okay, Tim and Teresa, Tim. and Teresa, what's the harm in me and. Bobby taking our time, right? And then. you start to really just say like, I am. that I'm that cool girl. I'm not some.

crazy girl who needs commitment. I know. all my friends are kind of like, girl, he doesn't really like you, but like I'm. better than that. Like, I don't need. commitment. I trust him. You're chill. You're zen. You're [gasps] almost like, let me just tell you, you're lying to. yourself, but we we're not going to. acknowledge that yet. Oh, we're so zen. Okay? And you're lying to yourself. because in the process you are slowly.

day by day, text by text, casual hang by. casual hang compromising on what you. want, which is a relationship, which is to clarify, not that I should. have to a totally valid want because you. are a human being, right? And so that's. why each passing day the anxiety just. starts to get a little worse. Okay. Hurts a little bit more. Every stupid. thumbs up text with no response and they.

just double tap it and give you a little. liked. It kind of starts to feel like a dagger. to your soul. At first you were like, "Oh, he's just busy." And now you're. starting to be like, "What does that. mean? Oh my god, what what does that. mean?" And you start to spiral more and. more because you feel more invested. and. he hasn't even moved off the line of. when you guys first met at the bar. He. still looks at you the exact same way. and you have progressed in your mind. [sighs and gasps].

And that is where we enter good old. phase three. Call Her Daddy is brought. to you by Airbnb. Okay, I am well into. my third trimester now, so I haven't. really been able to travel because I. need to stay close to my doctor. But. spending all this time at home has made. me start thinking about all the places. that I want to go once the baby is here. I have literally been sitting on my. couch with a TV on, scrolling through. Airbnb and planning trips I am nowhere. ready to take yet. But suddenly my.

vacation priorities I will say are. completely different. Like does the. house have enough bedrooms? Is there a. big kitchen? Does the furniture look. baby safe? Or is every table covered in, you know, sharp corners? And obviously. we need an extra room for my mom who has. already made it very clear that she will. not be leaving my side. She's like, "I. got you. I'm the babysitter." Okay. And. now that it is October, I'm picturing cooler weather, cozy. sweaters. Oh my god. Maybe a little.

cottage where we can escape for a little. weekend. That's what I love about. booking a home on Airbnb. Whether you're. traveling with family, friends, or your. partner, everyone has space to relax. while still being together. Even if. you're traveling for a concert or a. game, you have one place where everyone. can get together and convene after. Before the holiday season gets busy, treat yourself to one more fall getaway. and check out Airbnb while you're. planning it. This is where you become a detective.

You become a detective. So the opposite. of anxiety is action, right? And so. that's what you do to. distinguish this all-consuming feeling. of complete lack of control. You start. to get real creepy. [laughter]. We've all been there. Um my friend who. shall not be named, I remember in. college she once made a burner account.

for just some fake brand at the time. And she bought followers, she bought. likes, she bought engagement, all so. that she could follow all of the random. blondes that her situationship followed. on Instagram. And you guys, it was so. convincing. Okay. She was so good at. being a detective that one of these. women actually DM'd her to do a brand. collab. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. And even though our stalking. powers,

they run deep and they are impressive. and we deserve an award. Honestly, this isn't healthy. [laughter]. I will say though, when I look back at. some of the days of me like sleuththing. and just like looking at my. situationships, I would be like, I am. literally. Inspector Gadget on a level that like I. I need someone to know this. like I need. to I need to brag about the work that. [laughter] I've done today. Like I.

remember sometimes my roommate would. come home and I would be like, "Alex, shout out Alex." Um I'd be like, "Alex, come sit down and let me just like walk. you through what I did today." And she'd. like get she'd like make herself a. cocktail and she'd just be like, "Tell. me what you did." You're like, "How did. I even come up with that?" But when. you're that desperate to understand. where your situationship is, oh my god, you will go above and beyond. Like it is. so not healthy. It puts our bodies truly.

when we get to this detective mode, you. guys. It puts our bodies into a further. state of anxiety and it makes the man. just the pure focus of your life of all. of your attention. And he then becomes even more of a. prize, something that we just want to. win. It's like this game we start. playing with ourselves. Which is why. it's actually a good thing. And I know. this doesn't feel like a good thing in. the moment, but it's actually a good. thing when you do enter phase 4, which.

is the ending. [laughter]. EVERYONE'S LIKE, "NO, [gasps] I THOUGHT. YOU WERE GOING TO TELL US how to keep a. situationship and make him fall in love. and marry us." No. No. [gasps and sighs]. Okay. So, the ending, maybe you get a text. Maybe maybe you run into him at a bar. with another girl. Oh, it's happened to. me. It stings. Maybe he says he just.

needs to focus on his career right now. We've all gotten that one at some point. That one is like, well, you could still. be delusional when he does that, too. You're like, "Oh my god, he's such a. career man." And he's like, "No, but I'm. going to be so focused on my career. I. can never see you again." And you're. like, "Okay, but like what about like. maybe if you catch a break, he's like, "I'm never going to stop focusing. [laughter] on my career." And then. you're like, "Okay, I see what you're. saying." Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a punch to the face, right? Um or. maybe he just ghosts you. I don't know.

which is worse, right? Um or honestly, I. think worst case scenario could be um. and this has actually happened to me. back in college. O, I still get a chill. down my spine when I think about it. because I will say I didn't do this. often, but I slipped up one big time. You have one too many tequila sodas and. you just blurt out your feelings at 3:00. a.m. after the bar. you're hammered and. you send a paragraph and you just tell. him everything that you've been feeling.

and just building up in the. situationship and literally he either. one ghosts you or he responds with like. I hey like I told you like I didn't want. anything serious from the beginning like. so sorry. [gasps] Oh my god. And then you wake up. and you're like that's when you just. like literally have to delete the thread. and you're like that never happened. I'm. one with God. The birds are chirping. the sky is blue. When you send that text. and you're like, I sent a paragraph. Oh my god. Or you.

called them a million times and they. weren't answering you and then you're. like, oh my god, like you see that you. called him 14 times. or you pretended like you really needed. him. Like not in danger, but you're. like, "Oh my god, like I like I need a. place to stay or I'm right around the. corner." Like and then they just ghost. go and they're like literally like leave. me alone. [laughter]. Whichever way you get there, it's over, right? Some which way or whatever, whether it was so embarrassing and. catastrophic or just like a light.

embarrassment, something happens and. it's over. and all that time obsessing. all those plans that didn't happen, all. those things that weren't said. and you start to go through total. withdrawal and it feels awful and it. sucks because to emphasize guys in a. normal breakup, everyone's checking in on you. Oh, you. and Marty broke up. We're coming over. We're bringing a six-pack. We're coming.

over. Don't you worry. We're bringing. the pizza. They're taking you out for. dinners. They're giving you comfort. food. Your friends are buying you [ __ ]. okay? And they're telling you how. amazing you are and how this glow up, this post breakup glow up, oh my god, you're going to just be better than. ever. And you're like, "Thanks, guys.". And they're just so there for you and. they're just constantly telling you how. you're going to get through this. And. they're picking you up and you're. allowed to get drunk and cry and you're. allowed to eat pints of ice cream. because you're healing, queen. You are.

you're healing. But when a situationship. ends, well, there's no pictures to delete off. of social media cuz again, you never. dated. Um, you probably, if anything, have like pictures in your camera roll. of like his back that you like would. send to your friends cuz like he also. probably has never really like wanted to. take a formal pick of you. So, you've. got like the arm pick that like you. quickly took when he was looking away.

that you posted on your Instagram story. and you like, you know, muted him so he. couldn't see it. And then like you've. got like these like random. oneoff photos that you're like scrolling. and looking at that you have to delete, but there's like probably not one photo. of the two of you actually formally. together. So, you don't really have to. delete that many photos. Um, but. regardless, you go through this and your. pain is minimized. It's it's going to be. minimized, right? It's like you're kind. of not allowed to be sad. um or like a little messy because babe,

this was never real. [laughter]. Your friends are like, "We've literally. told you that he hates you and we saw. him having intercourse in Jack's bar in. the bathroom and you told us that we saw. that wrong and it was a different man. with curly black hair and we you ignored. us." Like, "This never was real." And. you're literally like, "Oh my god, I.

can't even cry cuz they're right. It. never existed. It never happened. There's no evidence. There's no. evidence. Which makes you even more sad and. lonely. It's even more devastating. You're like, "Oh my god. Oh my god, I'm so alone." I remember I. had a friend and she broke up with her. boyfriend of 2 years and she actually. barely cried. [laughter]. I had a friend that broke up with her. boyfriend of like 6 years and she barely. cried. But when her situationship of two.

months imploded, she was a freaking mess. It was Defcon. 5. Okay, guys. The amount of just we are. we are open that bottle of chilled red. We are downing it. We are talking about. it. And I literally was like, "Guys, I. will be the friend that understands the. situationship issue, but there are a lot. of friends that will not give you any. grace, any grace when your situationship. ends." But I was like, "Oh my god." I. did take account. I'm like, "Damn, you. didn't cry when you and Tommy broke up.

like this." What I did tell her though, I remember, is it is so hard to get over. a situationship because there is no. closure, right? There's no big we need. to talk. There's no threehour crying sit. down where you go to their apartment or. they come to yours. It just honestly. kind of fizzles out and then you're left. holding the bag wondering what's wrong. with you that this person couldn't fall. in love with you.

And the answer, I think you all know. this, but I'm going to say it. The. answer is nothing is wrong with you. I know it is a huge ass hit to the ego, but the best of us, we're going to find. ourselves in situationships. That's just. the reality, right? And it's not a. judgment on your worth. It's an issue of. incompatibility with this one. Honestly, probably subpar human. It has nothing to.

do with your inadequacy. Like, just know you're in great company. Okay? When I think about this, I remember when. I was going through a situationship, and. I think it was my sister that told me. this. She's like, "Babe, look at. Meredith Gray." Okay? Meredith and Derek. from Grey's Anatomy. Pick me, choose me, love me. That sounds like a 3:00 a.m. terrible night when you're texting your. situationship. Okay, that sounds like a. girl in a situationship. with a guy that can't commit. Meanwhile, he had a wife. So, you know, if you're.

doing better if your situationship. doesn't have a wife. I also always take. solace in the fact that even our biggest. pop star in the world got herself caught. in a situationship. My queen, my absolute everything, Miss. Taylor, Allison Swift. Okay, think about. this to make yourself feel better if. you're going through a breakup, but it's. a situationship, so no one actually. cares. Think about this. Okay, Taylor. dated Joe for what we can understand as.

years, right? But all of her songs from. what we can gather on Tortured Poets. were about Maddie Healey. A. situationship, a situationship. We have Joe and then we. have Maddie. And oh my god, those songs. were incredible and they're some of my. favorite of her songs, but it's more. about the situationship than the actual. relationship she was in. So, if Taylor is going through it, so. can we. Okay. And I get it's confusing,

right? Like why can we get over the end. of a relationship. that was legit and it was our boyfriend. but we can get totally destroyed by a. situationship like uh that is annoying. and that doesn't make sense. It it does. make sense you guys. I'm saying the. answer it's it's because there is. unlived potential. That's the answer. That's why situationships ending hurt so. much more than an actual relationship. If you think about it, in a normal. relationship, you break up because you.

probably saw through to the bitter end. or they cheated on you or something, but. you really lived it out. You lived out. the possibility of dating this person. You know that he leaves his gross beard. hair, you know, when he trims it with. his trimmer all in the sink. You know. that his mom is overly attached and. would make insane comments probably when. you got pregnant. She'd make really. really fat shaming comments if you ever. got pregnant about your body. Like you. just know her up and down. You can read. her to her filth, okay? You know her.

ticks and you know that he made a kind. of shitty boyfriend or he was great and. then the ending there was just not. compatibility. Like whatever the story. is, you know by the end with your. boyfriend what the story was. But with a. situationship, it is totally flipped. It's all about the fantasy and. possibility. with none of the reality. You don't know how this person would be. in a relationship. You have never been. able to just show up at their apartment. and leave your stuff so casually and.

comfortably and sleep there and stay. there when he goes to work. Like, this. is not the toothbrush isn't all that. No. And I know it's a hard truth, but I. think I do have to believe it actually. helps when you talk about it like this. Get over a situationship. You have to. acknowledge you are not mourning this. person. Okay? If a situation ends and you feel. like you're actually dying inside and. you're like, why does this hurt? You're. not mourning this person. This person.

didn't want to be with you. This person. probably actually sucks and you're. actually what you're mourning is all the. ways that you have built him up in your. head. And guess what? The fantasy. relationship will always be better than. the real one. Every single damn time. But in order to truly get over the. situationship, you need to stop. fantasizing about this man. You need to.

take him off of the pedestal. Stop. giving him credit for literally just. existing. Let's go back to what I said. I said it in my um right person, wrong. time episode. The fantasy is not real. Don't think about how he, you know, would have gotten along great with your. sister's husband or, you know, how he it. would have been so fun to travel to. Mayorca together. None of that. No. No. He's not your person. And you want to know why I know that is.

because you will never have to convince. your person to want you. You will never. have to act chill and unbothered and. push down all of your feelings to not. scare them away. The games won't matter. The texting won't matter. I mean the. texting like obviously like don't send. insane text just in general, but you. know what I mean. Like I had texted Matt. some crazy text messages in the. beginning if I was like drunk or. whatever. And like we made it, you know, we made it. We made it, Matt. Really?

You you you. dealt with a lot and we made it. Okay. And see, a situationship would have just. run cuz they're like, I don't need all. this headache. GH. And Matt was like, okay, that's that's a lot, but all. right, let's talk about it. Let's I'll. take you to brunch and let me hear it. So, just know that even if your. situationship gets in a relationship, also maybe the next week. [laughter and gasps] Wouldn't that hurt? No. It's you two weren't meant to be because.

guess what? He will probably be. emotionally unavailable to that person. too. And if he's not, then they were. meant to be and you weren't. Okay. So, I. will say the final kind of phase of the. situationship detox plan is stop making. it about him and make it about you. In. the situationship, you made all these little concessions. along the way, right? But ask yourself, this is what I ask of you today is like, do I want to be with someone who leaves.

me unread for days? Do I want to be with. someone who makes me feel anxious, who. makes me feel insecure, who sometimes I. even feel embarrassed around? The answer. is no. You all know the answer. You have. to basically take the spotlight that you. are shining on this person and you need. to swing it back around to yourself and. you need to tell the part of your brain. that is saying, "Oh my god, something is. wrong with me because this one person of. all these billion people on the planet.

didn't want you." Like you need to just. realize. what is the first thing he told you. Okay? A lot of times when you get into a. situationship, they actually told you. they didn't want to be in a. relationship. They weren't looking for. anything serious. And you not being able. to change his mind, it's not a failure. on you or your character, but you also. need to be like, "Okay, why am I trying. so hard to change this man? He told me. He told me, right? And if anything, this.

guy has probably learned either. subconsciously or consciously that girls. get hooked when he's inconsistent, right? And if he were to start being. consistent, they'd see him for who he. really is and he would lose all of them. Like there's such power that men I think. find where they're like, "Oh my god, if. I never fully show her who I am and I. kind of ghost her and then I kind of. show up and I kind of like maybe take. her on a date once a week like or once. every couple weeks." A woman is going to. be like, "Wow, this guy's amazing." But. if he's consistent, then all of a sudden. you start to really understand who he is. and then all of a sudden you're like, "Oh, he's not actually that great." So.

maybe they've also figured it out. situation work really well for men cuz. they get to kind of hide all their flaws. and then we just like fill in all the. blanks with all the roses and the fun. stuff and we're like he's so amazing and. it's like give me an example what has he. done. and you can't also I will say if you're. still fantasizing about this person. there is literally no room to look ahead. and what I mean by that is like you're. comparing every new guy you meet to a.

fictionalized version of this guy that. doesn't exist. Like, you can't have this guy in your. head and try to actually move forward. What if Taylor was still hung up on. Maddie Healey? She would have never met. Travis. Okay, look at our girl go now. They have a dog together, it seems. And. the dog is adorable. Okay, she got. everything she wanted because she. finally moved on from her situationship. and because none of us ever know what's.

right around the corner. But girl, I. guarant [ __ ] tee you. Just listen to. me. Letting go of your situationship is. so much better than hanging on for dear. life hoping he will one day decide to. change his mind. I am telling you. Okay, you know what changes minds? losing you. and realizing it was a huge mistake. But. by that time, you'll be off of the. situationship addiction train, and. you'll actually be able to see him with. clear eyes, full heart, can't lose. Oh,

you're a loser. He It's so fun when a. situationship comes back around and. you're like, I actually just got the. ick. I can't believe I ever had sex with. you. Oh my god, what was I thinking? I. was in a vortex. I was in an actual. lovebombed haze. And I had no idea. You. deserve so much better. Call Her Daddy. is brought to you by Shopify. Daddy. Gang, you know, I'm a little skeptical. of the internet at times. Aren't we all? But one thing I absolutely love is how.

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Call Her Daddy is brought to you by. Uncrustables. Daddy gang, let me set the. scene for you. It is six o'clock. You. just got home after a really long day. from work. You are exhausted. You are. starving. And the absolute last thing. that you want to do is cook. All you. want is something easy, delicious, satisfying, like an Uncrustables. sandwich. There's just one problem. Oh. no, it's frozen. Now you're standing in. your kitchen negotiating with a.

sandwich. Do I wait? Absolutely not. Do. I sit on it for a few minutes? I've. thought that before. Okay, maybe. Listen, we have all made questionable. decisions when we are hungry. But Daddy. Gang, we don't have to live like this. anymore. You can now keep Uncrustables. sandwiches in your fridge so they're. ready to eat the second the craving. hits. My mom always kept Uncrustables in. our house growing up and I remember. every day after school, after soccer. practice, I would just grab one. They.

were my go-to snack then and still they. are honestly today still my go-to snack. So next time you're staring into the. fridge wondering what should I eat, make. sure there's an uncrustable sandwich. waiting there for you. Find them in the. freezer aisle today. I know this is not easy and like I have. always said if I was listening to this. when I was in college I either would. have turned it off or been like la and. taken what I wanted and ignored the.

rest. We have to be really honest with. ourselves about where we're at in our. life. And if you keep repeating patterns. and getting into situationships and. ignoring when people are telling you. that they don't want something serious, I do think it's a problem. It's similar. to when I've talked about, you know, like if you're looking for someone with. like marriage material. If a man, I'm. just using a man because what whatever. If a man is telling you like, "Yeah, I. definitely don't want kids." Why are we. trying to change his mind? If a man is.

telling you that, "Yeah, I would never. want to do XYZ." Stop trying to change. people's minds. I think it's so important. Listen to who. someone tells you they are the minute. they show you. In the very beginning, you guys, obviously, there are things. that you can uncover about people as you. get to know them more, but I would say. generally in the beginning, you can. listen and you can observe and you can. kind of get the gist of who someone is. And it's it is at some point on us to. take accountability when people are.

showing us that and we decide to go. blindly in and ignore these obvious. signs. At some point, we have to. recognize, oh, got it. It isn't even. really about the person. You're addicted. to something in the dynamic of the chase. or the win or the dopamine hit or. whatever it is. There's something with. your ego that is getting so filled up. And trust me, you guys, when I was in. college, and I've talked about this. before, when I was younger, I didn't.

feel great. I wasn't like the girl that. every guy was going for. And so, when I. got to college and I felt so confident. in myself and I was like, "Ugh, I had a. glow up. Let's go. I was so. obsessed with getting validation from. men and playing games and the up and the. down and like the chase. And I just got. so addicted to it and it was so fun. because I literally was like, I won. I. won. I won. But then you're like, but. what did you win? Whether you are like. tricking them into liking you because. you're actually not being authentically.

yourself and you're just showing up as a. version because then you get to be like, "Oh my god, I got him." But you're like, "But you literally you you hate soccer. and and you hate the foosball team that. he plays on at the bar downtown every. Thursday that you made matching shirts. for and you go and you're on his. foosball team now and you're like. miserable when you're there and you're. just pretending cuz you want to come off. as the cool girl, but then all of a. sudden you like keep going with him and. you're like, "Why am I here?" Or like. you pretend you like the whatever it is.

You pretend you like the sex, you. pretend you're having an orgasm. the. more that you go along with things that. you don't actually like, all of a sudden. you're so much more invested in it. And. they're just usually just like showing. up as themselves, giving bare minimum. energy, just being like, "Oh yeah, come. on over." And you're putting so much. work into something, but it's not. genuinely making you feel good. And. there's like an ulterior motive in your. subconscious that is again fueling your. ego or your insecurities or something.

from your childhood or whatever it be. And that is I think where we really have. to look at ourselves and be like that's. dangerous. Situationships are not. dangerous, but if the you consistently. see a pattern of yourself putting. yourself in that situation, it's. dangerous. And I did. I was addicted to. the chase and the game and getting the. guy and all of it. And then I got into. therapy. I was like, "What's wrong with. me? Why am I doing this?" And then I. worked through it. And it was really.

hard to unlearn because the high is so. insane. The high is so fun. The high is. the high. Like I said, it's not much. different than being in Vegas. So, be. easy on yourself, but also just. recognize the patterns. And yeah, that's. all I will say for this week. I hope the. situationship detox hit you right where. it needed to hit you. And just know, I've been through it. So, I'm not coming. on here as anyone. No one's judging you,

okay? And we kind of all have to go. through it. And it is fun until it's. not. And it's not anymore. So, end it. Um, okay. I love you guys so much. You. know the [ __ ] drill. I will see. you [ __ ] on Wednesday. Goodbye. [music]. [music].