The Reality of Outgrowing Friendships

Hello, hello, hello. Welcome back to. another Sunday session of Call Her. Daddy. Guys, I. I feel like a different person, okay? Because I have been so consumed. I have. been so. just not focused on anything in my life. other than reading this one goddamn book. series. And I have turned into a. monster. Matt at night is like, "I know. I'm like still working, but like. like you to put your books down. Like.

pretend you're paying attention to me.". And I'm like, "But you're working." He's. like, "I know, but like you never look. at me anymore. This book is consuming. your life." And I'm like, "It's amazing. It's everything I need right now." Let. me just tell you, it's called Fourth. Wing. I am so late to the party for all the. Fourth Wingers that are like, "Babe, like this has been out for so long." I. know, but to anyone that is has not read. this book, I just want you to know that like it has. changed my life. And I was Okay, I love. ACOTAR. I had Sarah J. Maas on the. podcast. You guys know that, but I had.

never read Fourth Wing for some reason. And Lauren had told me like you need to. read it, you need to read it. It's one. of my favorite series. And dumbly, I. could not sleep one night. It's like. 12:30. Matt's dead asleep, annoying as. [ __ ] snoring in my ear. I'm like, "I. will ruin your life." And I'm trying to. not scroll on social media. And I'm. like, "Maybe I just need to open a. book." And so I'm going through to look. at downloading like what can I download? And I see Fourth Wing on the list. I'm. like, "You know what? That's probably.

like a really long book. It's like. romantasy, but it probably will take a. while to get into. It'll probably bore. me to sleep. Perfect." Guys, eight. chapters, 3:00 a.m., eyes wide open. I. literally went into work the next day. Like, "Hello everyone." I looked so. tired. I was obsessed. The first. sentence had me hooked. And that has. been consuming my life. So, um it just. ended. I read the third book, and now. the next one doesn't come out for like a. year. So, I'm kind of like tweaking out. I'm going through withdrawals. I feel a.

little bit like unsure of myself. I'm. weary. I don't know who I am. But let me. just say, having a good book in your. life, I am someone who goes through. spurts of reading, and then I will stop. reading, and I will just go through like. a couple months where I just don't read. anything. But when you have a good book. in your life, your mood is up. Your vibe. is up. You're glowing. You look more. gorgeous. You sound more gorgeous. Everything in life is less annoying. No. one's annoying me that much cuz I'm.

like, "I'm just like I'm barely. listening to you cuz I'm just focused on. when is the next time I'm going to go. pick up my book and read." And so. there's just this happiness that I find. whenever I have a really good book. So, this is your sign if you've been in a. book rut, if you want to get back to it, pick up Fourth Wing. Or if you're not. into like romantasy, although let me. tell you, girl, it's steamy. It'll It'll impact your sex life. It'll. impact your life. Like, you'll be good.

to go if you read it. So, enjoy. Violet. and Xaden are the main characters, and. I'm obsessed with them. And I don't care. if I'm coming off like a dork right now. I don't care. I need a new book. Guys, comment down below what romantasy book. should I read next? And it needs to be. romantasy. I don't want something that. has like human beings that are don't. have any type of like power. I want. dragons. I want fairies. I want smut, [ __ ] Okay? So, comment down below what. is the next book I need to read. I love.

that you guys are loving the Sunday. sessions lately. And a lot of the times. I open with kind of just a topic, but I. felt like today was important to just. fully pour me. into you. And just give you guys as much. wisdom as I can, good advice, maybe bad. advice. I don't know. I just want to. talk through what you guys are going. through, and do a full episode of. question of the [ __ ] week. So, let's get into it. Call Her Daddy is. brought to you by Starbucks. Last week I.

had one of those days where everything. was stacked back-to-back, [music] an. early morning interview, then a photo. shoot, and then meetings all afternoon. And by the time it was 3:00 p.m., I was. crashing so hard. But thankfully, [music]. there's a Starbucks right down the. street from the office. Getting in a. little coffee walk to Starbucks has. really It just helps me reset my. afternoons. Maybe if you need a. recharge, you know, great. Maybe you. need a minute just to like stop. scrolling your inbox. Whatever it is, your favorite handmade Starbucks drink.

is right there giving you an excuse to. escape just for a second. Whether it's. work, school, or literally whatever. you're getting bugged out with, I think. we deserve to all make a little. afternoon Starbucks break part of the. daily routine. Personally, I have been. loving going to get their iced brown. sugar oat milk shaken espresso. Hello. It's a little espresso, some sweet brown. sugar and cinnamon, and then creamy oat. milk to top it off. It has truly become. the thing I look forward to every single. afternoon. My office knows now that my.

Starbucks walk is It's a bit of me time, okay? I have my routine now. Hit my. slump, work, zoom out of the office, walk to Starbucks, call my mom, text my. group chat, and I'm ready to go for the. back half of the day. Daddy gang, we all. deserve a little pause. Turn your. afternoon into a reset moment with. Starbucks. Question number one. I feel like this is. so relatable to probably everyone. watching depending on the side you're. on, but here we go. Hi Alex, I feel like.

I'm in a weird stage with my friends. right now. I don't know if I'm the. problem. I'm 25 and honestly still. having my fun era. I like going out, traveling, meeting new people, and not. taking myself too seriously. But a lot. of my friends have started to move to a. more serious phase of life. They're. settling down with long-term partners, focusing heavily on their careers, talking about buying houses, getting. engaged, all of that. And lately when we. hang out, I can feel this subtle. judgment from them about the way that. I'm living my life. I love my friends, and we've been close for years, but. lately we've been in completely.

different wavelengths. Is it just a. normal phase that will pass, or are. these friendships at the end of their. course? Um this is such a huge topic. that I feel like you could do a million. different episodes on just because it is. the most. I just feel like honest and um. relatable topic to probably everyone in. their 30s and their 20s and even their. 40s. So, I don't think that you are.

insane for feeling this way. I do think. my first bit of advice is like, when friends start to all go in. different directions because someone's. like, "Yes, getting married and buying a. house." And they're doing that part. doesn't mean they're ahead in life. That's just where they're at. And then. you're still like enjoying your single. life and you're partying. And that is. going to obviously cause a little bit of. division within a friendship just. because you guys are on such different. pages that the relatability of like. topical conversation when you see each.

other, it's just not there. And so if. anything, it's more just like listening. and under trying to understand and be. supportive rather than being able to. relate, which friendship most of our. friendships are built on being able to. relate. Oh my god, we're in high school. together, we're going through this. Or. oh my god, we're in college together, we're going through this. Or we're at. the same job. I think sometimes people. even experience it. If you meet a friend. that you're at a job with and they leave. or you leave, it kind of can disrupt the. friendship because so much of your.

relationship was built on being at work. together. And then when that is not the. case anymore, you're like, "What is our. friendship based off of if not what it. was originally. started off of, right?" And so I think. you saying that these friends are. phasing into this, clearly you guys were. at one point on the same page. And so I. want to validate you that like this is a. huge separation to some capacity of your. genuine, honest start to the.

relationship of what you guys related. on, and now it has completely diverted. What I will say is. to give my personal um little anecdote, I am relating to this because I have two. friend groups essentially. And in one of. my friend groups, I am the kind of like. oldest-ish. and in terms of like life, I'm the more. like serious, settled down, I guess you. would call it like you just referred to. Like, I got the house, I got married, I.

am very serious about my career. Matt. and I have been talking about kids. Like, these are all things that we're. working towards. And then I All my other. friends in that kind of friend group are. a little bit on different pages, whether. they're not married yet, but some of. them have boyfriends, or some of them. are fully single enjoying clubbing life, all the good things. Or some of them are. kind of getting more serious thinking. about marriage. But like I'm the one. that has kind of gotten all of those um. pieces of my life that I I don't even I.

don't even want to call it more. established cuz it's just not. Like, it's all subjective, right? But in that. category, I'm there. Then in my other. friend group, I am the youngest. I am. the person that is like, every one of my friends in this group. has kids, and I'm just constantly. sitting there where they're talking. about, "Oh my god, and I have to bring. him here, and I have to get my daughter. here, and this, and this was a disaster, and this, and oh my god, and the. babysitter." And I constantly am like. trying to remind myself that my problems. do matter. I'm like,

whenever I'm around them, sometimes I'm. like, "Oh my god, I don't even want to. complain because they have so much going. on with these kids." And I don't have. kids. So, I'm like, "Uh yeah." They're. like, "What's going on in your life?". I'm like, "Oh yeah, Bruce and Henry were. really stressing me out last night.". Like, no. It's not even comparable. But. I recognize that I still can exist as me. and still share things with that group. of people. And I do But I do get it. Like, I'm a. little bit like, "Uh like you guys are. so much more ahead of me in that. department and I kind of like it's not.

that I don't matter, but it's just a. thing that we go through, right? My. advice to you is with that group of. friends who is more like established and. has kids around me, they have never made me feel like I am. less than because I don't have kids yet. or because I'm not in that preschool. phase of life. If anything, what I love about them is. they're so not threatened and in their. life and they're happy with their life. that they always ask me like, "Okay, wait, what's going on? What's happening? Like tell me the hot gossip. Like tell.

us everything." And they enjoy almost. like sinking their teeth into my part of. life because they're not jealous, they. are excited to find out about what's. going on in my life. And I feel for you. that you can differentiate pretty. quickly. Are your friends making subtle. jabs or are you insecure that you feel. distance from them, so you're taking. them talking about their situation as. them being insensitive, which is so fair. cuz you're internalizing it, but maybe. they're not being actually [ __ ]. you're just getting insecure. Or are.

they actually making comments like God, Krista, like you got to get it together. Like how many more club floors can you. like throw up on? And you're like, I. plan a couple more, I think. Like. [laughter]. I'm having a good time. Um that I think. you have to decipher and really try to. get objective. But the overall, I guess advice in this. situation is. I think sometimes with friendships we. have this really intense need to hold on. to.

the best parts of the friendship that. sometimes evolve and change and we want. to get back to that place that it. started and it's sometimes just not. possible. Sometimes people grow, people. change, circumstances change and it's. okay if you are not as close to someone. as you were and maybe it will swing back. around. Like I've had so many friends. where we started so close, then we had a. little bit of distance because similar. to what you're going through, she ended. up getting married, I was still on the.

streets in New York doing my thing. Like. we kind of didn't have much in common. anymore. We'd catch up lightly, but it. wasn't the same. And then when I met. Matt and I got married, like we had so. much more to bond over and then we got. closer again. Not that we weren't. friends, but just the actual closeness. and the relatability was there. I also think we have to remember that in. your 20s and your 30s, everyone is like. having to be a little selfish, right? Everyone has to be focused on their own.

life, be focused on their careers and. their romantic relationships and if they. want kids or don't they want kids or if. they're struggling to have kids, like. there's so much and family [ __ ] don't. even get me started. So I think the. weight of life really comes at us in our. 20s and 30s and I think friendship is. something that has to kind of ebb and. flow because it is inevitable that so. many people are going to be on different. pages and if you are not willing to just. like lightly adjust as it hurts, it.

sucks if you're not as close with. someone, but if you're not willing to. recognize like, "Oh, we're just not as. close right now cuz like we're on. different pages." It stings a little. bit, but it's worse when you try to like. fit the peg in the round hole or. whatever the [ __ ] it's called and you. keep trying to force something that just. right now maybe it needs a little bit of. space. So, I'm sorry you're going through that, but. just know I feel like that's literally. every one of my friends and I talk about. this and we have so many different. friend groups that you can kind of put.

yourself into a different scenario for. Like the fact that I'm you in one of my. friend groups and then I'm the woman. you're talking about in another friend. group, it's all. it's life. Like that's what's going to. happen and you just have to not be too. hard on yourself and maybe find some. more friends who are in that phase of. life with you and how beautiful like. that will be a fun new group that you. can hang out with. Doesn't mean you have. to get rid of your old friends. Okay, next. Hi Alex, I'm a 42-year-old. woman living in North Carolina. The.

dating scene is pretty bad here, but I. was at the gym last weekend and this guy. was checking me out. I didn't think. anything of it until he asked for my. number when I was leaving. Okay, just pausing there. Like so proud. of a man actually [ __ ] approaching a. woman. Don't love that it's at the gym, but I love that you specified that it's. when you're leaving, not when you're. like mid-rep and he's like, "Hi Janice, want to want to bang in the bathroom?". Um maybe that would have been hot, I. don't know. Um you said as we were. texting to set a date, I found out he is. only 25 years old. I don't get hit on by.

hot guys often anymore, so I don't want. to pass up the opportunity, but is it. insane to still go on a date with this. guy? Girl, no. Are you kidding me? This is what. this is what life is about. I mean, listen, I don't know if I'm 42 and. single like what I'll be looking for, but I'm sure it would be like a hot. [ __ ] Like if Matt and I got divorced. and I was 42 and single, like maybe. you're looking for something like that. You just said you haven't been hit on. Like you want to explore. You're not.

making this man your husband. Please for. the love of God, don't make this man. your husband. But have fun. I think that. sometimes when you are single, no matter. the age, we sometimes need to get. outside of our comfort zone. Like you. probably go for the same man, you. probably always go for the same type and. this will make you. maybe this will make you come alive. Like maybe you can teach this boy. something, right? I also just think like. men do it all the time. Like why can't. women? He's of age. This is not creepy.

Um it's a hookup. He approached you. You. were looking hot at the gym. Imagine how. hot you're going to look on a date. I. think we bang him. And I yeah, I mean. we. I think we bang him and you let us. know how it goes. And you're in your. milf era. Like there could be a world. where this reignites something in you. Like maybe you squirted on his face. I. don't know. You never know until you. try. So, Janice, that's not your name, but you know what I mean. Get out there. I love that for you. Guys, remember the other Sunday session I did.

where I was like nobody is approaching. anyone in person anymore? I used to say a man approaching a woman. at the gym was a cardinal sin and it is, but you were leaving and there's. something that we are going to take men. approaching women. We're going to take. it. We're going to take it if you're not. creepy and you did it in a right way. I. am going to say go on a date with a man. if he ever approaches you and you're not. repulsed by him and he doesn't come off. as creepy and you're like, "Huh." Go on. the date. Next question.

Hi Daddy, I have been dating someone for. about 3 years and he is obsessed with. his morning routine. He has a 5:00 a.m. alarm every morning followed by a. meditation app, cold shower, 30 minutes. of journaling and a green juice. There. are no off days. When we first started. dating, I pretended I was into it. I'd. wake up early, drink the juice, do the. meditating. Oh girl, you're strong. But. now that we're actually in a. relationship, I'm exhausted. It makes me. dread sleeping over at his place. How do. I admit I'm not into this without.

disappointing him? Oh my god. Oh my god. [laughter]. This is my [ __ ] nightmare. Oh my god. Okay. Um you should never dread sleeping. over your boyfriend's house. This should. be a fun activity. This should be a oh, I'm taking an everything shower kind of. night. You know, I'm going to shave my. legs for this man. I'm going to shave my. underarms for this man and the bush. canush. Like this is supposed to be. fairytales, rainbows, butterflies, and.

sex. And instead, you are like sleeping. at night [laughter]. literally so stiff praying to God. You're like, "Is it 5:00 a.m. yet?". You're like tweaking out cuz you're so. anxious about his 10 alarms that he. [ __ ] set. And then he literally wakes. up at 5:00 and he's like, "Let's get. after it, baby." And you want to cry, but you've committed to the lie. Oh my. god, that's the worst. It's like when I. lied about like liking EDM to this one. guy in college and I was like, "Oh my. god, me EDM.".

He's like, "Have you ever been to. Firefly Festival?" I was like, "Obviously." And he's like, "Wait, who's. your favorite performer?" And I was. literally like, >> [laughter and gasps]. >> "Everyone. How could I pick? Who was. yours?" And then he names some EDM-er. that I don't even know and I was like, "No, wait, that was 100% my favorite. You're so right." And I kept on this lie. to the point where he invited me to a. concert and I was like, "Hey, hey, hey.". I didn't know a thing about EDM. Okay, I. didn't even I don't even know what EDM. sounds [laughter] like.

And I went so far so far down this. I. changed my Facebook settings to be like. EDM girl music. I was like stalking him, putting some of the songs that he had. that he liked on his Facebook into my. likes. Like I was deep in the trenches. Thankfully, um I never made this man my. boyfriend, so I wasn't like in that car. listening to EDM on our way to church in. the morning. I never went to church in. college, but you know what I'm saying. But this is your boyfriend. Like you.

committed to this man. You're sleeping. at this man's house and you are green. juicing it up, wellness hitting hard, left, right, smacking it harder than. ever in the morning. You want to die. You literally want to die. You want. Cheetos and a bagel and you want to be. hungover in bed watching Sex and the. City on your Sunday and instead, you're. doing burpees. >> [laughter]. >> This is my This is my personal hell. Here's my advice. Ooh, what would I do?

What would I do because to his credit, he is thinking. you're. you're you're one with him. Like he's. thinking like we're both getting swole. together, bro. So, the problem is how. far you've taken the lie. What I do. think you can just say is like, "Hey, babe.". "Hey, babe." Um I am so always the. sandwich, right? I'm so inspired by how. serious you.

commit to and take your morning routine. and I love how healthy you are, but I. think I got on that flow with you and I. really have enjoyed a lot of the. moments. You start [laughter] crying. You're like, "No, I really have enjoyed. it.". I was like, "It stop." Um, you're like, "I really enjoyed it." But I think I'm. realizing that I have just like a. different need and want for my mornings. and for the way that I approach my.

wellness journey, let's say. And I think. sometimes it's getting to the point. where like there are some mornings where. I want to lay in bed and relax and enjoy. myself after like a long week of work. and I feel like I have to get up and go. go go with you and I was wondering if it. would be No, don't even ask this man for. permission. So, I think I'm going to do. some mornings where I don't participate. and if you don't mind just like being a. little quiet in the morning and just. like sneaking out and going and do your. thing. Of course, I don't want to tell. you not to do it, but I think I'm going. to like think I'm going to chill a.

little bit here. I'm getting a little. burnt out. If this man is like. "Wait, so you're not coming to the gym. with me at 5:00? What do you mean? What. do you mean? We just went to Lululemon. together. We bought new We bought new. Spanx. Like, we got matching outfits. Like, what do you mean, babe? What do. you [ __ ] mean?" As he's like doing. another ginger shot. This may be not your guy, but I do. believe that like because you've gone. along with it for so long, maybe you. just need to break the [ __ ] and and. start eating like a bagel in front of. his face and be like, "I'm not going,

okay? Okay? [ __ ] off." I think you can. do that. I don't imagine a world where. this man would be like, "What the [ __ ]. is wrong with you?" I think if anything, like I said, girl, I've been there. Uh, you just built the lie out a little too. long and a little too hard. You. committed so hard to the lie. You're now reaping the repercussions. This man's kind of done nothing to you. And thank god he's not the opposite end.

where it's like. big belly beer Bob who's just like 18. cases deep watching the [ __ ] sporting. event, never gets off the couch, literally is pounding beers his whole. body is just like desiccating before. your eyes and you're like, "Oh my god, this man is so unhealthy." And he like. never does anything. Like, at least this. man's like taking care of his body. Like, this is someone that will have. longevity potentially in life and cares. about Well, let's make sure he doesn't.

care about his his appearance too much. Like, are there like mirror selfies that. are going along with these 5:00 a.m. jaunts? Because if there are, oh, oh, Sarah, I fear mm, I fear this for you. Maybe let's reel it in. Look at him, look at the actions, and look if you. just ended up basically getting involved. with like a SoulCycle instructor and. you're literally like, "I think I got a. little too carried away. I think I got a. little too carried away. I got hooked. I. feel like I'm I'm living with Goop and I.

got to go." Um, that's for you to. decide, but damn. Like, guys, there's. nothing better than like hitting them. with like a little one-two punch of like. a little white lie, a little white lie. in the beginning and you're just like, "Oh my god, that white lie just made us. actually go to the next level and like. it's so white lie like it doesn't. matter." And then they like fully commit. and they're like, "Oh my god, you do. like that." And you're like. Mhm. Yeah, I love that. And they're like. "Oh my god, do I have plans for us?" And.

you're like. Oh my god. >> [gasps]. >> "No way." And then you actually are 4. years in and you're doing something you. [ __ ] hate, but then it's like you. can't blame them because you're the. liar. Oh man, I'm actually crying. This. is so funny. Oh my god, I used to do. that all the time. >> [laughter]. >> It's such an easy thing. Like, men are. so stupid, too. So, like, you can like. white lie to pretend like you like. something with them. And like there's. obviously like the innocent one like,

"Oh my god, you like the Cowboys? I love. the Cowboys." Easy, you buy a [ __ ]. jersey, you shake your tits every. Sunday, and you watch Peyton Manning or. who who's the That's not You whatever. Whatever [ __ ] quarterback. He's. retired. Um, whatever quarterback and. you're fine. You're fine. But when those lies, baby girl, impact. your life to the point where it takes. over your life to the point where you're. trying to run so far in the other. direction. Like, you're like Like, I. wanted to listen to heavy metal by the. time I was done with that man, okay? EDM.

was so taking over my life. I was like, "I want screamo music. How about that? I. want to [ __ ] bash my head into the. wall and I want to go listen to. Metallica.". >> [gasps]. >> It really can drive you somewhere where. you didn't necessarily intend to be, but. you're kind of [ __ ] So, take care of. yourself, girl, and honestly, like, get. a sleep mask, some earplugs, set the. alarm for your normal time, and let's. see if this man can respect your [ __ ]. boundaries. Oh, that was a good one. Please comment. down below. What are some embarrassing.

lies that you said to a man that like. seemed like so innocent at the time? Like, "Oh, this will just make this. easier." And then you were so far down. in the lie train that you're like, "Oh. my god, why did I ever lie to this man? Now I have to pretend to like this for. the rest of my life." Call Her Daddy is. brought to you by Ashley. Ashley Lux is. an all-new collection that's changing. the meaning of luxury and inspires your. everyday spaces with premium furnishings. at a surprisingly practical price. Daddy. gang, these pieces are so well made with. quality materials like wood, stone,

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Call Her Daddy is brought to you by. Depop. I feel like we all have that one. chair in our bedroom that becomes the. I'll deal with it later pile. Well, for. me, >> [laughter]. >> that pile has slowly taken over my. entire chair and the whole floor and the. whole room, okay? And there are pieces. in there that I have been meaning to. sell since my 2020 tie-dye sweats era. Yes, I know. Let's not talk about, you. know, also the barrel jeans phase. You. guys remember that? That trend was just.

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Next. Hey, father. I have been no contact with. my mom for almost a year after realizing. in therapy that my anxiety came from. being her emotional support growing up. My brother is also no contact, but my. sister still has a close relationship. with her. My sister understands why we. stepped away and even acknowledges the. unhealthy dynamics, but she refuses to. set boundaries or be honest with our. mom. It's starting to strain our. relationship because I don't understand. how she can see the issue and still stay.

so close. Do I confront her about it and. try to convince her to go no contact or. just let her have her own relationship. with our mom? Okay. Um, whoa. That is so uh, damn. Going no contact with a parent is. from what I understand, I've never done. it, but I've talked to friends who have. done it and I've talked to therapists. Like, it seems like one of the most. painful decisions that you really have. to make in your life because that means.

that your at one point primary caregiver. or lack thereof should have been um, has. pushed you so far to a point that you. have essentially had to cut them off in. a way that like literally feels like. death. Like, it feel and it's almost. harder than that because you're like, "They're still out there, but I am. actively choosing to not engage in a. relationship with them." And the. strength that it takes to do that, I. commend anyone who has been able to do. it because from what I've talked with. therapists and everything, like, it is.

one of the hardest decisions you'll ever. make in your life. Not because. like it's hard to not give in to a. parent, right? Who raised you, no matter. how toxic they are. What I feel like with your sister and I. had a uh situation in my life recently. that's not fully applicable, but like. when it came to grief, we were talking. about it and like I was watching two. people grieve so. so differently and so it was just such a. significant difference and they were.

just as close to the same person and it. was a whole thing and you're watching. these two people and you're like, "Wow, how can two people grieve so. differently?" But that's life, right? Like their relationship to the person. clearly was different in their eyes and. their reactions are different and their. emotions are different and that's you. and your sister. Like this doesn't mean. that your sister is not so wounded on. the inside and in so much pain and. wanting your mom to get healthy and to. not do what she's doing, but your sister. has not been able to go no contact for a. reason that I almost think you can.

empathize with her while still. maintaining boundaries. Um I think you. going no contact is your decision, but. to try to like pull your sister into. that, I actually think it will only make. you. feel. Like you could feel she will feel. resentment almost towards you if she. decided to do that for you and not for. herself. I also think what's probably. really painful for you is like this is. your mother and in some way you had you.

made the hard decision to go no contact, but your sister is still speaking to her. and so I don't want to speak for you, but I'm I'm trying to put myself in your. shoes like there also could be some. subconscious thing where you're also. feeling guilty. Like she hasn't. abandoned mom even though. we all should abandon this woman, but I. have and like the only tie I still have. to my mother is through my sister and so. you're seeing still the dysfunction. through your sister and that's. understandably so triggering to you and.

so you want your sister to get removed. from it so you are fully removed from. it. And I think the answer to this is. you need to just set boundaries with. your sister. I never want to tell you. what to do with mom. I know we all have. such different situations with her and I. know it is beyond complicated, but I. have made such a painful decision for. myself that I knew I needed to go no. contact and in order to maintain a. relationship with you, I need you to. respect my no contact with mom, which. means I don't want to hear about her.

Like when we're together, I need us to. talk about our relationship and what's. going on in your life and my life and I. do not want to know or talk about mom. because you're the only thing in my life. that's threading me to her and I have. actively made the decision to remove her. from my life. Overall, I just will say like and I I. talk about this all the time with my mom. and my therapist and my friends like. family [ __ ] when it comes to parents who. are dysfunctional and immature, um.

toxic, abusive, it is one of the biggest. mindfucks you will ever experience in. your life and I have so much empathy for. I've watched so many of my friends go. through this and it is. it is fam it it ruins families, it ruins. um. parts of your life until you're able to. be like, "Oh my god, I can't let this. [ __ ] person control my life anymore. Yes, you were my mother or my father. growing up, but like this is my life and.

I need to take ownership of it and get. away from you because you're so [ __ ]. toxic.". But saying that about a parent. it it like it's close to impossible, right? Especially a mother. Like you. came out of this woman. Like. this woman is a part of you. You are a. part of her. Like there's so much. complexity there. If you guys would ever. want me to have like a therapist on to. talk about like the specifics of. dysfunction in families when it is. stemming from one of the parental.

figures, I would be more than happy to. do that. Um and even if you guys write. in like really specific scenarios cuz I. bet a therapist would be so helpful in. breaking that down of how to handle. those situations. I remember back back. in the day one of my episodes I did was. cutting off a parent who is narcissistic. and I had a therapist on and so many of. you. really related and it broke my heart. because I think it's more common to have. a parent like that than to have a. healthy parent and that is so unfair to.

the child who is now an adult and you. know, experiencing the repercussions. Um. But I I believe you can do this and I. really I I think that your sister will. understand. I think it's just going to. take a couple of hard conversations. Okay, next. Um hi Alex, I need some. help. I've been dating my boyfriend for. a little over a year. I love him and. he's my best friend, but I feel like I'm. not sexually fulfilled by him. In the. past, I've been with toxic men and the. sex is really good. I can't tell if I'm. just settling now or maybe I'm not.

recognizing a healthy connection. I feel. like I need a dominant man and I can't. communicate that to my partner without. killing the vibe. Help. Oh. [ __ ]. >> [gasps]. >> It's so hard when you go from like toxic. men to like a healthy man and you're. like, all right. >> [clears throat]. >> You're like cracking your neck. You're. like, "This is good for us." And your. brain is like, "Toxic." And you're like, "No, this is stable." And they're like,

"Let's go back to Johnny." And you're. like, "Shut the [ __ ] up. Johnny was. horrible to us." And it's like, "But the. sex was fun and we were on the edge.". And you're like, "Stop it." Your brain. does such crazy things to you when. you've been in these like toxic push and. pull relationships. They're toxic and. they're toxic for a reason, but when you. get out of them, there's a romantic a. romanticization, I don't know if I just said that right, and a glamorization. that happens in our brains where it's. like we lose all of the negativity and.

then we just like remember the good and. then all of a sudden we're like, "That. was such a thrill. Hey." And then we. turn on like a movie and like the the. bad guy and the girl fall in love and. you're like, "Hey, maybe Johnny wasn't. so bad." And it's like he was just as. bad if not worse than you remember. And. going back to him will only ruin. yourself-worth even more. But we. remember those things and I think sex. when you have a toxic partner, that is. the one thing that becomes really, really [ __ ] up when you get out of a. toxic situation is.

the memory of the push and pull and your. literal brain going from oh my god, I'm. in fight or flight and I think I'm going. to lose this person and we just had a. fight and then we got back together and. then we had crazy good sex. That's not. normal to constantly be going up and. down and up and down in a relationship, but it is then normal for your brain to. get a high when you guys get back. together and have that makeup sex. So. then when you find a normal partner.

that's stable and sweet and kind and is. not going to [ __ ] with your emotions and. scream at you for what you're wearing. and get in a fight and then you don't go. out with your friends and then you make. up and then you have sex and you're all. over the place emotionally, your. dysregulated emotions cause sex to feel. so heightened with a toxic partner that. that just doesn't exist with a normal. partner. And what I know is like you. have to retrain your brain, you guys, because you also can't survive forever. on that toxic partner. You are going to.

literally self just deplete yourself. And then you're going to self-abandon. You're not going to be an individual. anymore. So like you also have to go. through, okay, is this partner actually someone you. love? Pause on sex for a minute because. you you obviously have such a negative. connotation towards it even though you. think it's positive. Do you love this partner? They're. stable. You're saying What did you say? You said like, "I can't tell if the in. like I'm sexually fully fulfilled by. him. I want a dominant man." Do you want. a dominant man or a toxic man?

Don't lie to my face. Do you want a. toxic man? A dominant man? I mean, sure. you could ask him to throw you up. against the wall and like he can still. be a nice man that treats you nicely, right? I think that if you genuinely. have this healthy connection, the first. part is you should feel safe enough to. express. this to your partner. Babe, I love you. I, you know, I was thinking about our. sex life and I'm like, "I want to spice. things up. I want to try some things. new." And like I really want to do XYZ. I think there's more times than not a.

partner's always going to be like, "Oh, okay. I'm down." If you position it. like, "I was thinking about you. I don't. know. I was like at work. I don't know. what the [ __ ] I was doing. I was bored. and I literally just started thinking. about our sex life." And I was like, "I. really want to try this like where. you're more dominant and I'm kind of. submissive and blah blah blah." The guy. he's going to be like, "Whoa, like okay. Like where did this come from?" You're. like, "I don't know. Like I just I want. to try something new together." Great. But if you feel like. you can't tell that to him or do if you. actually think no, he'll do that, it's.

just you're missing the toxicity, then. you need to get into therapy. Because. poor Garrett is going to be like, "I. just flung you over my shoulder. I. walked us up the stairs. I threw you. against the bed. I handcuffed your arms. to the headboard. I spread your legs. I. did it all. I brought the toys. I. brought and and and you still were like. thinking about Johnny.". Therapy. Or have the conversation with him and. let him tie you up. Let's see what.

happens. Let's see what happens. Um sex. can always be improved. I genuinely. believe. The last statement though is. there is a chance that you're just not. physically connected to this man and it. has nothing to do with that he's a good. guy. Like he could be toxic for all you. No, I'm not even going to go there. There's a chance there's just no. physical connection and you don't. physically enjoy him. That's fair. You. have to figure that out for yourself. Is. it because you want him to be toxic or. is it cuz you literally don't have a. connection with him?

I unfortunately can't get in bed with. you to answer that for you so you are. going to have to do the hard-hitting. on-the-ground research and then get back. to me. Daddy gang, you guys know I love. a good sweat set, right? But when it. comes to the Met Gala, I am locked. [music] in, okay? I am watching every. single arrival. I'm texting my friends. about which looks I'm obsessed [music]. with, which I love, which I don't love. the style of. Like, I'm clocking every. couple that just like hard launched on. the carpet. Like, I'm in it, okay? Since.

Anna Wintour has stepped down from. Vogue's editor-in-chief, I feel like. there's so much anticipation for this. year in particular. We're like, what is. going to happen? All of us are like, what's going down? And the theme this. year is costume art. So, I personally. can't wait to see how creative everyone. is going to get. Everyone has an opinion. on this night, obviously, and I will be. using Polymarket to see which ones are. actually right. This is my favorite. thing, you guys. Polymarket is the. world's largest prediction market where. you can see what people are thinking and.

what they think is going to happen. before it actually does. With. Polymarket, you'll see real questions. about what's going on in pop culture and. the prices basically show what people. think is most likely. So, example, before the Met Gala, I can go on and. check, okay, who's going to wear Chanel? Who's going to show up together? And who. didn't make the list this year? And. because people actually have a stake in. their predictions, they tend to be more. accurate. It basically gives you a. really clear idea of what people are. noticing before it becomes the obvious.

take all over TikTok. And it's not just. the Met Gala. Maybe you're predicting. who's going to walk the Victoria's. Secret Fashion Show, which Love Island. couple, hello, will actually stay. together after the show, or who's going. to win, or who's headlining Coachella. next year, okay? Basically, anything. that you're already paying attention to. in pop culture, there is now a place to. predict it. So, if you're always calling. things early and sharing hot takes with. your boyfriend on date night or your. best friends, those opinions actually. have somewhere they can now go. It's. free to sign up and just easy to use.

Download Polymarket, now available in. the United States. Have fun. Okay, next. Oh god, okay. Hi, Daddy. I need help. because I think I'm jealous of a dog. Okay, let's listen. I've been in a. situationship for a while where I'm. constantly wanting more attention and. reassurance from this guy and barely. getting it. He's emotionally distant. from me, but with his dog, he's. obsessed. Baby voice, cuddling, Instagram stories, constant affection.

The dog is treated like royalty. So, I. know this guy is capable of what I'm. looking for, but I'm just not getting. it. How do I stop feeling insecure over. a literal terrier? First of all, you. guys know I'm a dog mom. I love Oh, he. takes Instagram stories, constant. affection, cuddling. I love this man. with his dog. Yeah, this isn't about the. dog though. Put the dog aside. Let's. pretend there is no dog. You just sadly. have something to compare it to, and. unfortunately, it's a four-legged. creature, which is even more sad. This.

man, unfortunately, you're watching him. give attention to a dog being like, I. wish I could get that cuddle. That's. really That's really This we're we're. we're bottom of the barrel right now. We. are low. We are low, Britney. We are lower than. The bar is low. It's one thing if you. see him like with his mom and you're. like, oh, that's weird, or the sister, or a friend. We're talking about a. terrier. Okay, a little terrier who has no ill. will towards you, okay? That he shits.

and he pees and he eats his dinner and. he cuddles his dad. What you're upset. about is he's not giving you any. reassurance because there's nothing to. reassure you about. It's a. situationship. He's coming and going as. he pleases, and he doesn't clearly like. you enough to actually give you the. energy that you are looking that his dog. is even getting. I just think you have. to always look at yourself when you're. yearning for more from a man, when. you're like, uh, I want more. I wish he. would give it stop. Don't ever wish a man would give you.

more. If he's not, that's your answer. If you're like, but I just feel like if. he could just I want to la la la la ooh. ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh no. If he wanted to cuddle you and take. Instagram stories with you like he's. doing with his dog, he would. You'd be. right in between The terrier would be. right in between you and him, okay? Frank, terrier, Britney. Boom. A [ __ ]. sandwich. It'd be a It'd be a heavenly. Sunday. You're all just cuddling. together. You're not there.

You're not even getting the invite. Like, I don't think that this is the. dog's problem. I think that this man is. fully showing you where his allegiance. lies, and it's not to his dog. It's just. not to you. >> [sighs]. >> It's not fun. It's not fun. I know. And. I know some people would be like, God, that's so harsh. This is the harsh. reality. We need to when whenever we. write in saying, I feel this and I feel. like I wish he would do this and I wish. he would do that.

Wish When you wish upon a star. I don't know what the rest of the song. is, and if it's dreams come true, well, cut that, okay? Because dreams don't. come true when you wish for anything. with a man. If he wants you, you will know. Whoa. Let's get a load of this one. Help, all caps. I accidentally hooked up. with my building's doorman after a. holiday party. [laughter].

I'm so obsessed with you. Okay, we haven't addressed it since, but. I have to see him basically every day. and it's so awkward. Knowing I have to. face him when I go down to get my. hungover breakfast burrito delivery and. the is the bane of my existence right. now. I'm attracted to him and down to. hook up again, but the vibe is really. awkward right now and I don't know how. to move forward. Oh my god. First of. all, you lucky dog. I have never in the. history of ever had a hot doorman. There. has never been a doorman in my life that. I was like, Bert, you want to bang?

Like, never. Oh my god. And also, the. best part for you is you didn't wake up. and be like, oh my god, look at Jerry. He's like 65, but when I was hammered, he looked 35, and I thought his cane was. like his baseball bat from baseball. practice. I was so [ __ ] up. I [ __ ] I. [ __ ] this old man. Like, no. You woke up and you said, I would again. And now it's just about finding that.

rhythm. I kind of love this. There's. something really hot that could go down. here because Ooh, what if he goes on his. little break, but his break is to go up. to the sixth floor and go into 602 and. do you? Imagine the things that you. could do. Now, the problem is if this. doesn't work out, then it's just going. to continue to be awkward. So, I think. that this is what you're going to do. Take the risk, you know? Take a risk, take a chance, and break. away. I think you're going to go down. next time you're.

going down. Cuz it's You got to go outside. Um, and. I think if he's there, you could either get your food delivery, so it's a little bit more of like a. pause, so you have a reason to like stay. there for a second. Or if there's like. the mails near him and like make sure. you like wear those yoga pants. Um, but. I think you just be like, hey, how have. you been? I think it's that [ __ ] chill. This. man, think about this from his. perspective. Doorman Manny, let's call him Manny.

Ooh, Manny, you sexy little thing. Doorman Manny is not trying to get. fired, bro. Doorman Manny is like, damn, I [ __ ] that [ __ ] in 602 and she's hot. as [ __ ] And I can't believe that I. [ __ ] that [ __ ] in 602 that's hot as. [ __ ] And Manny's not trying to get his. job whacked from him, okay? So, Manny's. just trying to man the desk. And Manny's. trying to keep his eyes above, you know, the neck level. He's not trying to look. at your cleavage when you're coming. down. He's not trying to make eye. contact with you cuz you got to be the. one to initiate, right? Not that there's.

an HR I wonder if there's HR issues when. it comes to doormen. and residents. Regardless, yeah, he. could make you like feel unsafe in your. home, you know? So, you could like whatever. But you're. not unsafe. You want more from Manny. So, I think you just have to approach. him cuz he's not going to approach you. because that Think about it. He's been. so respectful. Doorman Manny is like, I'll wait for my queen to come back to. me. I'll wait for my princess to get up. from her slumber. She must have had a. hard night last night. And I think you.

have to be the one and I think it's. going to be as easy as a, hey, how have. you been? And it may take a second. He. may be so thrown off. He may be like, not knowing if it's a trap. So, he may. be like, uh. Yeah, I've I've been good. How are you? And then you're like, good. And then you. can like walk by. Or you can have the. balls and you can be like, good, like, what are you doing this weekend? Like, do you have any um like I don't know. what their times are called. Like, do. you have any time off like from. from the building? Do you have any time.

off like want to hang? Literally, go for. it. Manny Man What is that song? Manny. doesn't know. That's not a song. What's not a song? You are so in, it's crazy. It's now just. fully on you. And I think that it's more. awkward to skirt around man dog than to. just get in there and [ __ ] his bones. again. And you can also establish I know. that this is awkward. You're literally. in my building. Like, this could go. wrong, but like let's have fun while it. lasts. And don't they rotate? Like,

doormen rotate, okay? So, like, while. you're [ __ ] him, get his schedule. So, if things do go south, girl, you know his every [ __ ] move, and you will beep bop boop around. Whenever he's down there, you're taking. the south exit, or, you know, you're. crawling on the floor to get past Manny, or you're just not leaving your home for. 4 days so you don't have to see Manny. It's a classic. I love that for you so much. Everyone. Well, the story this week is [ __ ] your. doorman and get in there where you need. to get in there. Um, what else did we.

talk about? Hmm. Really good stuff. today. Really good important stuff. I am. feeling so inspired. I hope you guys. enjoyed this episode. I wanted to just. be a light, fun, bright episode. with a little sprinkle of family trauma. That's a classic on Call Her Daddy. I love you guys so much. I hope you have. a wonderful wonderful upcoming week. I. know you're probably sitting there. thinking, "Oh God, tomorrow's Monday.". No. No, it's not. It's only a Monday if.

you make it. Pretend it's Friday. tomorrow. And then after you realize. it's not Friday, then you can tell. yourself. But don't let yourself get the. anxiety and the stress of the Sunday. scaries. We're not doing it here on Call. Her Daddy today, okay? Love you guys so much. I will see you. [ __ ] on Wednesday. Goodbye. >> [music]. [music].