Summer Flings vs. Situationships

Daddy gang, welcome back to another. Sunday session here on Call Her Daddy. It is your father. Okay, we are. currently entering the peak of summer, right? And I was recently having a. little wine night with one of my friends. and I was having a really productive and. honest conversation with her. She's. currently single and I want to share. with you some of the wisdom that came. out of that conversation. So for any of. my girls who need to hear this, my.

single girls who need to hear this, listen the [ __ ] up. Sunday morning. every Sunday's father this day. What the [ __ ] That was pretty good, right? I'm going to set the scene for. you. Okay, picture this. The sun is very hot. You're hot. You're tan, maybe you're. three margaritas deep, okay? And you're.

scanning the beach for someone to make. absolutely terrible decisions with. I. see you. I support you. I honestly love. that for you. Okay. But before we dive. in head first into a summer romance, we need to lay some of the ground rules. Okay. I was thinking about it and it's. like there is a really fine line between. a vacation romance, a summer fling, and then a full-blown.

situationship. And it is so [ __ ]. vital to your mental health and my. mental health so you don't write into me. freaking out that you know what you're. getting yourself into and which one. you're getting into. So, I want to kind. of break down the vacation romance. Back when I was single, which feels like. ages ago, I personally loved a vacation. hookup. Okay, maybe they're a local who. knows all the good spots, or they're a.

foreigner with some like sexy accent. Maybe they're like a surf instructor. with a [ __ ] six-pack. Or maybe it's. just like a [ __ ] random guy that you. match with on Tinder who's staying at. your same hotel. Regardless, I feel like. these whirlwind vacation flings can feel. so special and hot and magical. But here. is what I want you all to understand. They are only hot and special and. magical because they're temporary. Okay,

I want you guys to think about it like. when you're meeting a guy on a trip, you. are on vacation mode. You're not getting. Slack notifications. You're not getting. emails. You don't have a to-do list. You're just focused on your tan lines. and maybe who you're going to skinny dip. with. Okay. So, of course, no [ __ ] That. feels really euphoric. That's. incredible. But that rush of excitement. that you're feeling doesn't mean, now. lean in and listen closely, doesn't mean.

that that person is your soulmate. Listen, maybe they are. I feel like that. has happened to someone obviously. before, but it's very far and few in. between. So, I want to be realistic. today. You need to know what you're. getting into that if you try to extend a. vacation fling into the real deal, into. the real world, you're at your happiest state when you. are on a trip. That's just a fact, right? So, it is so easy to get confused.

and think that this person is like what. is making you happy? It's not the pinina. coladas. It's not the like people that. are being nice at the hotel. It's not. the palm trees. Like, it must be him. It. must be love. No, it's not. Okay? Cuz. think about it. When you get back to. your normal life, could you really. actually imagine being with them in your. normal life? Because the sexy surfer guy. that you met on the tropical beach. somewhere, maybe he's not so sexy when. he's freeloading at your apartment with.

no job, no friends, and his only real. connection is to you. You know what I'm. saying? Do you get where I'm going here? Like my advice today for navigating. vacation romances as we kick off summer. is just let it be a beautiful memory, Daddy Gang. And don't try to ruin it by. trying to force your vacation world into. your actual normal world. Sure, sure, you [ __ ] [ __ ] You can. toss them an Instagram follow. Totally.

fine. But what we don't need to do is. start having a FaceTime relationship the. second that your flight lands and. pretending like you guys are in a full. relationship. The last thing you want to. do is have this really like fun weekend. or week-long experience turn into a. stretched out long distance thing. No. No, daddy gang. We don't need this. Not. every single guy that you meet or girl. you meet, it doesn't have to always end. in a notebook romance. Do you get what.

I'm saying? So, that is a vacation. situation. So, to all of my [ __ ] that. have, you know, Miami or the Jersey. Shore or California or whatever, wherever you're going this summer for. vacation, keep that in mind. Okay? It's. fun. It's fun. It's fun. And then leave. the fun there and go back to your. reality. Okay? Now, I want to talk about summer. flings or summer hookups. Okay? because. these are an entirely different game.

than a vacation hookup. This is probably. going to be someone that is in your. city, right? Someone that you could be. seeing like semi-regularly. And the most important part is this is. someone that you know isn't longterm. material. Let's. let's really let that sink in. Let's let. that think sink in. Okay, a summer fling. is not long-term material. They have an.

expiration date. And that in my opinion, when I look back on any summer fling I. ever had, like that's part of the. appeal, right? Because you don't get. bothered, per se, by parts of this. person that would actually annoy you in. an actual relationship, right? Like. maybe you find all of their [ __ ]. friends annoying. That's fine. You won't. see them after August. You're just. having really good [ __ ] sex. Maybe. you hate their [ __ ] shitty car. Who. cares? You only need it for a backseat. hookup. Even if they're unemployed, even.

better. Like actually really [ __ ]. hot. You have more time to day drink in. the sun together. It's like your dates. with a summer fling should be so light. Beach days, ice cream dates, spontaneous. hookups on the beach. Like you're not. even trying to go to like white. tablecloth dinners or have long. emotional conversations and talks about. your [ __ ] childhood. June, July, August, that's fine. That's it. So fun. But once.

we hit the end of August, my biggest advice is you need to be. really careful if this person is still. around. You're all like, "Okay, Alex, this is like, what the fuck?" But I'm. being dead serious. If you want to keep. seeing this person past that 3mon summer. mark, this is what I realized having drinks. with my girlfriend because it's happened. to me and I know it could happen to you. and so I don't want it to happen to you.

If you keep seeing this person past. summer, you're going to enter. into situationship territory. And who the [ __ ] wants that? No, seriously. Like. because also when I say that the rules. for a situationship are so [ __ ]. different from the rules of a summer. fling. And I'm saying rules when I'm. saying this. I'm just actually trying to. make you not get hurt or not get strung. along or not string someone along. Like.

I'm just trying to help you guys here. Obviously do whatever the [ __ ] you want. In my opinion, no matter who the person. you're talking to is during summer, by I. think that threemon mark, someone. always is going to start to have. feelings. Most of the time it's not. both. It's usually one. And all of a. sudden, you find yourself like maybe. we're checking his follower list, right? And you're spiraling about like whether. he's still on dating apps or not, right?

like you're starting to become a little. creep. Like the minute you feel like a. creep, you've taken it too far. Okay, don't be a creep. Okay, get it together. Like this is not the fun fling that you. were going for all summer. Carefree. A. so fun. So fun. And now all of a sudden. you're a creep. How did that happen? All of a sudden you're like, "Oh my. god." Like I know who he thought. Like. if you know at least five girls by their.

profile picture that he follows, creep. I've been there. Creep. Like if like. that's not what we want. Okay. And if. you find yourself in this accidental. situationship with someone, in my. opinion, again, my opinion, it's okay if. you want me to [ __ ] off, but in my. opinion, here are the rules. Number one, I think you need to be real about what. you want for yourself outside of this. person. Do you want to stay single? Are.

you ready for a real relationship? What. dating goals do you have for yourself? And do they align with the person that. you're seeing? And if they don't, okay, thank him for his service, but let's. keep it [ __ ] moving and move the [ __ ]. on. So that's number one. We're clear. about what we want. Number two, you need. to clarify exclusivity. Honey, are you one of the 10 girls on. their roster? And are you okay with him.

dating other people? Like, what happens. if he starts to get serious with someone. else? I know obviously the exclusivity. conversation is the actual [ __ ]. worst, but and you obviously like you. don't need to ask like what are we just. try to get a sense of clarity on how. many we. how many we this person has cuz the more. we. you're just still a creep. Um truly though, like you need to be.

real with yourself cuz I know you. [ __ ] cuz I've done it too. H I'm the. only one. Or even if you find out he has. a couple others, you're like, "Uh, but. I'm his favorite." Excuse me. No. Again, if you're okay with that, that's what. I'm saying. If you're okay with that, if. you're okay of being one of many, if. you're okay with kind of like sharing. the [ __ ] right? Like, ooh, you hop on. that thing on Monday and I'll swirl. around and sit on it on Wednesday. Like, oh my god, amazing. As long as you're. okay with that. But for the most part,

[ __ ] don't [ __ ] lie to me. We. convince ourselves we're okay with it. and we're [ __ ] rattled. We can't. sleep. We're having weird dreams. We're. getting heat sweats. Like, we're not. okay with it. If you run into him at the. bar and he's with another [ __ ] girl, are you going to just like take a shot. and brush it off and be totally fine? Or. are you going to have a full-blown menty. bee in the bathroom and drunk text him. 30 [ __ ] six times later that night, I. thought you loved me. No, you creep. He.

never loved you and he let you know. that, but you got so in your [ __ ]. head and you were like making up this. romance novel that never existed. It. never existed. So, these are the things. you unfortunately. do need to think about or else you're. going to get hurt, right? And if you are. looking to keep someone around on your. fall lineup, you need to be thinking. about these things because when you. start a relationship as chill and then.

you potentially want to progress it to. more serious, there needs to be a. [ __ ] conversation. No one is just. knowing that all of a sudden our [ __ ]. orgies now you want to be monogamous. with me. Like you got to say it out loud. or he's not going to know. Okay? It's not going to get easier. This is like so depressing. You're all. like, "Okay, when does it like get fun?". No, but I'm being honest. I think you. need this pep talk, you guys, because if. I was single, I would want to hear this, too. We throw ourselves into summer. We.

have so much [ __ ] fun, and then all. of a sudden, we think we're getting a. ring, and instead you you don't even get. a call, you know? You don't even get a. call back. It's not going to get easier. if you don't have honest conversations. with yourself. And then to kind of tie. this all up, I want to talk just about. finally the situationship rule number. three in my head. And it's kind of what. I've been saying and it's kind of a. culmination of everything, but keep your. expectations low.

This man is not your boyfriend. He does not owe you emotional support. This is a [ __ ] buddy with a penis and. occasional nonsexual hangout privileges. But really, if we're honest with. ourselves, the only reason that you guys. are hanging out, it's almost like the. hangout is foreplay to the casual sex. You know what I mean? So when you catch. that your.

emotional state is starting to depend on. where you are at with this guy, it is time to be real with yourself. That is the immediate red flag in your. head. Wait, I'm checking his Instagram. too much. I somehow know his aunt's. name. I know all of his ex-girlfriend's. names by heart. I actually can memorize. the weddings they went to together and. all of their friend group and his. favorite food and you you know too much. You know too much. The summer fling to.

situationship to relationship pipeline. is rare and it's not one that I. recommend. It's really [ __ ] rare that. it works out. Um also on Call Her Daddy. I've always said we don't believe in. cuffing season over here just because it. gets [ __ ] cold outside. Like we're. not like I guess we'll just date now. because No, no, no. That's how you end. up dating a guy you never even saw a. future with in the first place, but it. was just like it's cold. I want to drink. hot cocoa and decorate a [ __ ] tree. with him. Yeah, [ __ ] Call your [ __ ].

mom. So, you know, daddy gang, have fun this summer. You're all like, "How how the [ __ ] am I supposed to have. fun, Alex? You literally just made me. want to be [ __ ] celibate." No, no, no. You're going to have fun this summer. and make some memories. you know, scrapbook it up. But when summer ends, my biggest advice is. you're going to let the fling end, too. I promise you will thank me in the fall.

And again, there's going to be the 1% of. you. Isn't it so nice to be a part of. the 1%? If you're one of those [ __ ]. [ __ ] that meets this tanned god and. he's a lifeguard or something and he's. saving you and then you hook up later. that night and then you go to a party. and his friends are normal and a and. then you're hooking up and then it's. good and then it's good and all of a. sudden it's September and then it's. October and you're going to [ __ ] um. festivals where you get what the [ __ ]. are the Halloween things called where.

you get on the thing and you go to the. haunted house and you're doing all these. fun little things and you're making. cookies together and then he asked you. to be his girlfriend. Good for you, you. [ __ ] [ __ ] Okay, but that's not most. of our experiences. It's a wham bam [ __ ]. me in the back of your truck. You. accidentally put in my [ __ ] and now. I'm in love with you and oh my god, little did I know you have a wife. That's the reality. Men are liars. That's what this whole episode is. actually about. Men are disgusting and. men will make you think, "Oh yeah, baby,

it was just his Monday, baby." And then. his next Tuesday he's [ __ ] your. sister and you're like, "Wait, I thought. we were in love." You were in love with. the idea of him cuz you met him in the. summer and I met you in the summer. That's why that song was created. Who. sings that? Calvin Harris. Don't care. The point is don't let yourself be a. victim of thinking it's going to be more. than a [ __ ] vacation little romance,

a summer fling. Situationships are the. [ __ ] worst. Unless you're just like. horny as [ __ ] and you just want to have. so much sex. Yeah, go for it, you. [ __ ] [ __ ] Love you. Um, okay. I. hope that was helpful to kick off this. glorious summer. And, you know, no one. should be feeling depressed. It's. actually really quite helpful. We avoid. feelings and we acknowledge when things. are sexual and fun. And if you want to. dip into your feelings, then you need to. be straight up with someone. That's all. That's all it is. This is my favorite. time of a Sunday session obviously is to.

take a trip. We are going to slurp down. our throats a little esargo. We're going to look at the skinny men's. smoking cigarettes and we're going to. [ __ ] them till the sun comes up because. we are taking a first class flight. Yes. On me. First class flight. We're flying. first, last. up in the sky because we are going to a.

little place I like to go. Little place I'd like to go. [Music]. Questions. of the mother. The mother. The. [ __ ] week.

Questions of the mother [ __ ] week. Questions of the [ __ ] week. Okay. Um, do you guys want to answer. some questions? Let's get into it. [Music]. [Music].

Call Her Daddy is brought to you by. Neutrogena. Summer is here and the sun. is shining. You need powerful sun. protection that feels light on your. skin. Meet Neutrogena Ultra Sheer. Sunscreen. This SPF 70 lotion absorbs. fast with a smooth, dry touch finish, so. you'll forget you're even wearing it. It. blocks 97% of burning UV rays and is. water resistant for up to 80 minutes.

Lightweight, effective, and perfect for. sunny days. It's just what your summer. needs. Neutrogena Ultra Sheer Sunscreen. You can't feel. Shop now at Target. Call. Her Daddy is brought to you by. WhiteClaw. I don't know who needs to. hear this, but you're way too hot to be. spending the summer sitting inside. scrolling on your phone. What are you. doing? What are you doing? Stop letting. plans die out in the group chat. Grab a. White Claw and go make some memories. Okay? Whether you're yapping poolside,

hitting a barbecue, or just kicking back. around a fire, a cold white claw goes. perfectly with your summer plants. That's right, Daddy Gang. It is White. Claw summer. 100 calories in 12 glorious. ounces, gluten-free, and the taste you. know and love. I like to pick up a. variety pack so that I can guarantee. everyone can get their favorite flavors. I am personally through and through. always a black cherry girl, but Matt. loves the mango and Lauren's favorite is. lime. So, there's truly something for.

everyone. It's time to come out of. hibernation and stop leaving everyone on. red. We're finding a guy with a boat and. we're having a damn drink. My friends. and I strictly drank White Claw for an. entire girls trip last year. And now I. can't even smell sunscreen without being. reminded of that trip. It was honestly. the best time ever. There is nothing. better than warm sun, a tiny bikini, tiny tiny bikini, and an ice cold claw. in your hand. That is peak life. Pick up. a pack from your favorite local spa and.

grab life by the claw with your favorite. flavor this summer. Please drink. responsibly. Hard selter with flavors. Whiteclaw seltzer works. Chicago, Illinois. Question one. How do I tell my boyfriend. that his mom can't stay with us when she. comes to town? She lives out of state. and frequently visits. She always stays. for a week minimum. I don't want to be. that girlfriend who [ __ ] about this, but I just love my own space and hate. constantly hosting. I also feel like I'm. being judged for every little thing in.

the house when she's here. Is it rude to. ask if he can get her a hotel the next. time? Oh my gosh. Okay, first of all, I. so feel for you because. this was like a thing Matt and I dealt. with in the beginning of our. relationship where Matt could host every. night, every day, everywhere. And when. I'm in my house, I feel like such an. introvert. And I had to explain to him. like I do, it's not that I don't want to. host. I just need to have a better. cadence with it and not be doing it so.

frequently because I recharge in my. house and I feel like I can't be my full. self when obviously people are here and. I'm hosting. And so the fact that this. is your mother-in-law, I can imagine how. difficult of a dynamic it is to bring. this up to your boyfriend. My first bit. of advice is like you need to tread. really carefully because some guys with. their moms are such [ __ ] freaks and. they act actually like they're still. sucking from their mom's titty. So just. be weary. You know what I mean? Also,

that's like a good sign like if he's. like actually crazy um about it, he. probably wants to [ __ ] his mom, but. that's for another time. It doesn't feel. like he wants to [ __ ] his mom. It more. feels like he's treating it like this is. his mom and he's comfortable with his. mom being there and this is your. mother-in-law, so this is your space. It's weird to have a woman or anyone. staying in your home for a week all like. multiple times during the year. That's a. lot. So, I'm validating you. That's a.

lot. If it was a weekend. like twice a year, totally fine. a week, every few months, I would be like, I'm I. got to move out. If anything, get me a. [ __ ] hotel room. Let me go for a. [ __ ] little spa trip while you and. your mom bang it up. Um, but no, I think. this would be my advice to you. I think. you could sit your boyfriend down and be. like, "Hey, I was just thinking about it. because I love your mom so much and I. always think about it like, wow, she's.

so lovely and respectful when she comes. and I do love spending time with her, but I feel like a week when she's here. is just a lot and it almost has nothing. to do with her. It has to do with me of. like having someone in our space for a. week." Um, I feel like I can't be my. true self. Like, if I want to just go. sit and relax after a long day of work. and be in silence, like obviously I'm. not going to ignore your mom while she's. sitting in the living room and stuff or. we don't get as much alone time or we.

don't get to decompress after going to. dinners with her. Like, it's hard for me. to find a balance and it's impacting me. in a way that I don't like how I'm. feeling. So, I was wondering if we could. compromise and either have her stay on. weekends, but then if she's going to. stay the full week, maybe we get her a. hotel, so like during the work week, we. can just have our normal life and then. we can obviously go to dinners or. whatever with her. But I just need a. little help with boundary setting here. because I don't want this to come off. like I don't love your mom. I'm just.

feeling like I don't love people in my. space for that amount of time because. girlfriend, who the [ __ ] wants their. mother-in-law living with them for a. [ __ ] week? I'm sorry, Lisa. I love. you. If you're listening to this, [ __ ]. [ __ ] knows. I'm like, my. mother-in-law would know. She literally. will be here and she'll be like, "Okay, you want me to leave?" I'm like, "Yes, love you. Bye." Like, I also don't love. the lack of awareness from your. mother-in-law. That's why I'm saying you. have to tread lightly because from my. experience with my mom and Matt's mom,

like they know we love them and we also. like our alone time to the point where. I'm like I'm surprised she hasn't been. like, "Oh my gosh, you guys, I feel like. I'm like too in your space. I'm going to. give you guys time." That's where I'm. like, "Ooh, this could be tricky." So. maybe compromise on starting with more. of like a maybe she stays for the. weekend or overall let's just get her a. hotel super close by. And if your. boyfriend reacts like a crazy person and. defends his mom and acts like you're. crazy, I'm here to tell you, you're not.

crazy. Mother-in-laws in your space, that is a recipe for a mental break, honestly. And we don't need that. You. know what I mean? Um, so guard your. boundaries and but have a calm. conversation with him. Also, last point, and this is really how you'll probably. even know if you want to marry this man. When he brings this up to his mother, if. he is down for what you're presenting, in no [ __ ] world should this man.

present it to his mom like, "Oh, it was. Casey's idea." No, no, no. We're. presenting this as a united front. If. anything, you take the [ __ ] hit, [ __ ] cuz you came out of her, okay? It's your mother. She'll love you. forever. but it's too dicey. So, make. sure that he is presenting it in a way. that's not making you look in a bad. light because then it's just going to be. a whole new spew of problems and you. don't need that. Okay, next question. I'm getting married this fall and made a. mistake. I sent a save the date to a.

co-orker I no longer want at the. wedding. No one at my office likes her, but I always gave her a chance until she. [ __ ] me over in front of my boss last. week. I know it's my wedding and I can. invite who I want, but I'm worried it. will come off in a bad way if I don't. follow through. Will I look like the. mean girl? How do I handle this at work? And what do I even say to her? Okay, first of all, that is really [ __ ]. shitty. But my first note to you is your.

wedding is not a charity event and your. wedding is also not a um co-workers. mingling happy hour event. This is your. wedding and it is a day to be completely. about you. And so if you're having. regret and also it's one thing if you're. having regret, it's another thing if. this person literally just [ __ ] you. over at work. You I get are in a weird. position, but I would rather you be in a. weird position to end this. rather than get to your wedding and have.

someone there that you don't like. So, yes, it's going to be a little. uncomfortable, but let's also make sure. that you're not compromising just to. make someone feel good. So, this would. be my advice. It's tough cuz since it's a work dynamic. and you're going to see her obviously. when you come back from your wedding, I. don't think you need to tell her. Obviously, it's up to you, but like you. have to see this woman every day. It's. one thing if it's a friendship breakup, but like this is someone you work with, right? So, my advice would be you send a.

text or you say it in person. And you. said you only sent a save the date. You. didn't send them like the official now. new invite of like details and. everything of the wedding. So I think. you could text her and say, "Hey, um, I. wanted to let you know that over the. past month or two, my husband and I have. been going through our wedding list and. due to a bunch of different. circumstances, we are pulling back on. the number of guests. And I don't think. you're going to be able to come now. and.

I just wanted to let you know no hard. feelings and appreciate your support. Um, and leave it at that. And. I think that if she comes at you and is. anything other than totally understand. [ __ ] that [ __ ] because oh now you Oh, you're going to come at me for a second. First of all, why would you? You. shouldn't even be at my wedding. You. should have the [ __ ] self-awareness. to not even think you should come. Hopefully, she was never even going to. come, right? Cuz she just [ __ ] you. over in front of your boss. But if she.

gets nasty with it, like, "Wow, other. co-workers are going and I'm not. coming." Like, "Got it." Like, "Macy, like you're a [ __ ] cunt." I think you. just leave it. I don't think in the wake. of your wedding, I don't think that you. need drama. And sending this text is. going to give you temporary anxiety, but. then it's going to alleviate so much. anxiety on the day that actually. matters. So, be straight up, but not. fully. Unless you want to and you can be. like, "Hey, I don't really appreciate. everything that went down the other week.

with our boss. I felt like you were. undermining me and it made me look in a. really bad light and I just I know I. sent you a save the date. Um, and I. don't even have like ill will towards. you, but because it is my wedding, I. don't want to have anyone there that I'm. not on like perfect great terms with, and I don't feel that way with you right. now. And so, respectfully, I'm going to. decline the offer. And maybe when I'm. back, we can look to like repair things. But for right now, I want to have a. clear head for my wedding, and I don't. want drama. Either one being more direct or a little.

less direct, do it. You will feel so. much [ __ ] better. I remember Matt and. I had. a couple people, but one person kind of. like more specifically that we just. like we knew they would think they were. going to be invited to our wedding. And. at the same time, we were like, I don't. want to invite them. And we almost were. having like over dinner conversations. when we would talk about our wedding. leading up to, we would find ourselves.

getting anxiety about this one person. And it was someone more in Matt's life. And then finally, I remember just being. like, "Babe, pause. Listen to us. We're not even. focusing anymore on like how this is a. day about us and our love and our. marriage and our family. Like this. we. have our answer. And it was so [ __ ]. hard, but I'm so happy we didn't invite them. And I look back and we still say we made. the right decision. Um, so trust your.

gut on this one. And I'm really [ __ ]. sorry. That's so [ __ ] You don't want. drama around your wedding. But to make. you feel better, everyone has drama. around their wedding. And if this is. this is the peak of it for you, girl, you got out [ __ ] easy. Okay, next. question. Um, okay. Hi, father. How do I. stop comparing my boyfriend to my. friend's partners? I'm 29 and most of my. friends are in their early 30s with. partners in their mid-30s. My boyfriend.

is 26, so he's kind of a decade behind. when it comes to career and finances. I. get insecure sometimes because he still. is starting out and we don't really have. the same financial stability as my. friends and their partners. I know it's. not his fault. He has a good job and is. working hard, but I can't help feeling a. little jealous when I see my friends, partners, and what they bring to the. table. Okay. Oh my god,

I have a lot of thoughts and I'm going. to just be really honest and obviously. you know your situation better than. anyone. So, and I don't have all the. details, but I'm just going to kind of. rattle off some of my thoughts. Number. one, for me, I. think I would have a hard time. dating a younger man. Um, more in that like 2030 range. Obviously, if you were like in your 50s, 60s, redating, like, sure. But it's like that.

pivotal time where I feel like maturity. is a big obvious glaring thing. Like. it's like you can almost tell like when. someone's in their 20s first their 30s, right? And my worry for you is when. you're writing this, if you felt really. secure with your relationship, what. you're saying, I guess you're saying. you're you don't you're saying you get. insecure sometimes. My worry is this is. something that is highlighting a bigger. issue in your relationship. If you were.

madly in love with this person and you. thought they were so talented and smart. and all the things, I don't know if you. would be saying this. Again, I think. it's normal to compare. That's literally. all we do in life, right? You're. comparing how you look compared to. someone. You're comparing your job, your. house, your finances, your looks, your. outfits, your family dynamics, your. status, like all of it. That's normal. But the fact that you're feeling. insecure about your partner, I've had. that in a different way. And like it. doesn't go away. It doesn't go away. because.

if you really are in love with someone. and you feel good about them, you would. find holes in your friends partners and. be like, "Yeah, but they have that, but. like he has this." You know what I mean? And I worry for you that him being. younger and not where you want him to. technically be could potentially be. something that keeps eating at you. throughout your relationship. I could be. completely wrong and I may be projecting. because I have a friend that was in this. situation a few years ago where it was.

just like eventually she was like I feel. like I'm dating a kid and I didn't think. that the four or five year age gap was. going to impact me. But I guess men. naturally are more immature than women. and it takes them longer to mature. So. there's a lot of factors that are up. against you. Um, so I think you need to. sit with yourself and recognize is this. literally just because of a money thing. That is so [ __ ] normal to feel. insecure financially at stages in your. life when other people have not that.

burden. Totally fair. But look. underneath the hood and is it like or. are you also kind of like I feel like. you're I'm insecure because I'm dating. him and he's not this and he's not that. and he's not this and we're all in our. 30s at this stage and he's like a baby. and just graduated college and is trying. to figure his [ __ ] out. Um but I'm sorry. that I'm sure that's weighing on you. But you'll know the answer. Like you. will know. Would it solve everything if. he had all the money in the world? I. don't know. you have you will know that.

within yourself. And last thing I'll. leave you with, and this is something. that I talk about with my friends and. Matt all the time, is like please keep. in mind when you're looking at your. friends and their relationships, it doesn't mean that they have it all. too, right? Like you are looking at. something that is clearly an insecurity. of yours. They have more financial. stability. Therefore, they are able to. do more things. They can go to more. concerts. They can go out for more. dinners. They can go to nicer places. whatever it be, that's your insecurity.

in your relationship. So, it's you're. projecting and you're looking at them. being like they have it all, but they. all may be going through their own [ __ ]. Maybe there's some of your friends that. like haven't had sex in months and their. romantic physical connection isn't. there. Maybe there's people that are. actually overspending and it looks like. they're enjoying themselves, but they're. also in financial situation that they're. not feeling like we don't know. Maybe. they're fighting. Maybe they're or. they're great. Regardless, we always. look at people and when they have. something that we don't have, we can get.

insecure and feel like, damn, I I want. that. But really, you don't want that. cuz that's not your relationship. You. know that you don't have the same type. as your friend. You know that that guy. wouldn't be as good for you because you. know what I mean? So, everything is. relative, but it's tough. I completely. acknowledge that. I have definitely been. victim of it. Okay. Oh my god, I chose this one for all the. girls. Daddy, I need help. I have a.

serious shopping problem. I spend way. too much money on shoes, clothes, jewelry, purses, everything. Fashion's. always been how I express myself, and. buying new stuff makes me feel like I'm. keeping up. But I'm supposed to be. saving for a wedding and a house later. this year, and I cannot stop spending. I. went through my closet the other day and. have a full-blown had a full-blown panic. attack when I realized how much I've. spent on stuff I've worn maybe once. I. don't know how to stop. Please help me. get it together. Girl, you came to the. right place. Um,

I totally get it. Like I have been. someone that on Sundays to not get the. Sunday scaries, it relaxes me to watch. Grey's Anatomy and scroll on and shop. and maybe I'm not even buying some of. the [ __ ] but it's nice and fun to. scroll. I think that's like a normal. thing for girls to shop. It does sound. like you obviously have a little bit. more of a problem where you can't stop. yourself. You're even saying that. there's some stuff in your closet that. you have not even like worn. Here would. be my advice. I don't know if this is a little too.

extreme, but maybe try it. It could. help. I think maybe you should go on a. 30-day. fashion shopping fast. And I think you. should. even if you want to like go and shop. online but don't buy anything even just. like put links into your notes app and. be like once the 30 days is over I want. to buy this and then if you still want. to buy it well that's on you but 30 days. without shopping and instead what I. would do and I've actually been annoyed.

with myself and I think everyone does. this. You buy something and you barely. wear it. I would urge you in these 30. days of your shopping fast to go into. your closet and do a couple things. Number one, put outfits together with. things that you haven't worn and force. yourself to wear it that day. Like I. think we all get into a habit of kind of. having a closet of stuff, but you wear. pretty similar stuff. You have your. go-to shirt, you have your go-to jacket, pants, all the things. And if you. haven't worn it in a while, force.

yourself to wear it. And if you are. like, I actually don't want to wear it, why don't you go and sell it? Go on. Poshmark, go on eBay, go on the Real. Real. Like, go and sell the [ __ ] and. make your money back of the stuff that. you're actually not buying and you just. bought on a shopping whim. But overall, I think you need to look at yourself and. if you can't make it the 30 days, you. may actually need to get into therapy. and get some help because this does. sound a little bit like an addiction. and you don't want to continue your life. where you are blowing all of your.

finances on clothes that you're also. barely [ __ ] wearing. Um, but yeah, let's do a fast. Maybe I'll do it with. you. Who knows? Okay, this one's [ __ ]. heavy. [Music]. [Music].

Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Zip. Recruiter. Back in my dating app days, there was truly nothing worse than. swiping on a cute guy, setting up a. date, and then meeting him in person, and finding out that he wasn't what he. appeared to be. Okay? Sometimes he would. be 5 in shorter than he said on his. profile. Sometimes the photos were 10. years old or sometimes he'd be in a. whole secret relationship already that I. didn't even know about. You know what I. mean? There is nothing worse than. wasting time on something because you. didn't have all the info about what you.

were getting into. But if you're looking. for a job, that situation will not. happen on Zip Recruiter. Boom. Did you. like that transition? Yes. We all know. how important salary and benefits are. That's why most jobs on Zip Recruiter. include that info so you can make an. informed decision before you hit apply. Daddy gang. A hidden lowball salary is. basically the equivalent of a guy lying. about his height. And daddy gang, you. don't need to be dealing with this, okay? You can start finding real quality. jobs right away when you go to.

zipcruiter.com/chd. Zip Recruiter finds and sends you great. job matches in minutes. And you can. apply to most with just one click. Most. applications on Zip Recruiter are viewed. right away within 48 hours based on. their recent data, so you know where you. stand sooner. Okay, Zip Recruiter is the. number one rated job site based on G2. Over 172 million job seekers have used. Zip Recruiter in their job search. Go to.

Zip Recruiter and get all the info you. need to land an amazing job. Just go to. this exclusive web address, ziprecruiter.com/chd. right now to get started. Again, that's. ziprecruiter.comd. Daddy, I don't know what to do. My best. friend just told me that she's been. having an affair with a married man with. kids. She recently broke up with her. boyfriend of 3 years and apparently this. has been going on ever since. I told her.

straight up I don't think it's okay, but. she said she didn't care and she's still. doing it. I'm honestly sick over it. I. don't agree with it at all and it's. making me question who she even is. But. she's been my best friend for 15 years. I feel stuck. I can't talk to anyone. about it and I just don't know what to. do. Dude, that is. [ __ ] behavior. Um, damn. I'm really. sorry because when you added in the.

15-year friendship, I was like, "Fuck. that." I was going to be like, "Fuck. this bitch." And then I'm like, "Oh my. god, I get it. it's your friend of 15. years and she basically told you [ __ ]. off. I'm not going to listen to you. Where does that leave you? My opinion, if I'm putting myself in your shoes, that leaves you to realize all you can. do is control yourself in this moment. There is no reason for you to try to. convince her, stop having this affair. It's only going to rupture your. relationship even more. And if she.

doesn't want to listen to you, she's not. going to listen to you. We're all adults. here, you know? So, if anything, the. only reason for you to keep going at her. and trying to get her to stop would be. to fulfill something in yourself, to. make you feel better, like you tried to. get her away from this person and you're. trying to save this family. I think you. need to just let it go. And I think the. hard thing about friendships is. especially long-term friendships is. sometimes we have such an image of our. friends from when we met them and our.

early days of our relationship that we. don't actually look at ourselves and be. like how has my friendship with this. person progressed and do I like who they. are as a person and do I like how I feel. around them and this is a perfect. example of someone like yes there is. history there But this is like a pretty. [ __ ] up thing for a person to do. So I. think you need to pull back. And the. hope is you pull back. You focus on. yourself. You don't let this take up. space in your brain cuz it's icky and.

it's like foul behavior. Like I I agree. I couldn't be around a friend that's. having a [ __ ] affair with a married. man with kids. Like it is gross. But the. more you focus on yourself, the one hope. would be she eventually comes to you in. a month, 6 months, a year, and is like, I am so [ __ ] sorry. I don't know what. the [ __ ] I was going through. And I. don't know what that was feeding in me. And I look back and I was a shell of a. human being of myself. After my breakup, I threw myself into this. I thought it.

would make me feel better. It didn't. And like, I'm so [ __ ] sorry for. pushing you away. And I am disgusted. with myself. like I really I'm going to. get into therapy and I don't know what. the [ __ ] happened. That would be the. hope and the dream. Unfortunately, I. think as adults we have to start to. recognize. people are going to make weird [ __ ]. decisions, right? We've all been there. Your friend marries a guy that you're. like he's like literally emotionally or. verbally or hopefully not, but like. physically abusive. And we all can't sit.

here and watch this happen and feel. good. So, you probably stop going over. for dinners as much. And you have. friends who become so angry about their. situation, whether it's their job or. their relationship, that they start to. be an angry drunk when you guys go out. to dinners, right? And you're like, I. can't keep wasting my Fridays on the one. time of the week that I get to go out. and have you like yelling at me. Like, everyone has that thing that you're kind. of like, I don't want to be a part of. this anymore. News flash, you don't have. to be a part of it anymore. And I know. it feels weird cuz when you're the.

person that's not being the aggressor or. doing the wrong thing, you almost feel. this sense of like, but I can't give up. on them. But I would be weird to pull. away. No, no, no. At some point, yes, after you have said something to your. friend, after you've actively tried to. help them, and they actively look you in. the face and say, "Fuck off." Basically, you do then have to take some. accountability to pull away and. recognize you can only fully control. yourself. And if they want to come back, they will come back. But maybe.

maybe this is kind of the end of a. beautiful friendship for what it was for. a while. And maybe you can start to look. at has it actually been that good the. past year or two? Has she been in tune. with you? And has she been a good. friend? I don't know. And if she has, then we can hope that she comes back and. she [ __ ]. hopefully the wife walks in on them. [ __ ] she runs down the street. She. breaks her [ __ ] leg. Well, no, but.

you know what I mean. And she's a wakeup. call. She almost gets hit by a car. She's in the hospital. She calls you and. she says, "I'm never going to [ __ ] a. married man again." You never know. Something could fall out of the sky, hit. her in the head, she's concussed, she. wakes up. H she's a better woman. We can. hope, but we can't expect. Okay, next. This is [ __ ] tough. Are we ready? All. right, Daddy. This might be a weird one, but I need help. How do I tell my best. friend that she needs to chill on the. filler? It started with a little Botox,

then some lip filler, and now it's every. month she's getting something else put. in her face. She's already so beautiful, and now she's starting to look kind of. unrecognizable. Is it my job as her best. friend to tell her to stop or is this. just a canon event I can't interfere. with? Damn, that's really [ __ ] tough because. I'm trying to think like what I would do. because a part of me feels.

I feel for you, right? because it's like. bringing up your friend's looks in. general. is tough and. I think. someone that's going to get an excessive. amount of work done and then like it's. one thing to be like Botox, yay, a. little bit of filler, woo, and then once. they get to the point where it's like. girl like your face is looking like a. [ __ ] cinder block, you. clearly there's something going on with. her, right? Like there is an insecurity.

in her. there's something going on and. she's taking it too far and she doesn't. see it. It's like [ __ ] eyebrow. blindness that everyone talks about on. TikTok or it's filler blindness. Like I. get that. Or it's blonde blindness where. it's like I'm not blonde enough and it's. like you have three strands of hair left. on your head and they are platinum. [ __ ] blonde. Um number one, my piece. of advice, you have to kind of assess. what is your relationship with this. person. cuz I'm thinking about like my. best friends and I if any of us are ever. going to get something done we FaceTime.

and call that person and it's like okay. wait I was thinking about doing this. like do you think I need it or am I. being [ __ ] insane? So if my friend I. feel like I would have a gauge to be. like no no no wait cuz last time you did. this don't do that. If you don't have. that relationship this is how I would. approach it. I think you sit her down, not actually like schedule a meeting, but like whether you're having drinks or. you're at a dinner or you're just. hanging and I think you say, "Hey, I. wanted to bring something up that I like.

hate that I'm bringing this up, but I. know that if the roles were reversed, I. would want you to say something to me. And I want you to know I love you so. [ __ ] much. And I think you're so. beautiful and you're my best friend. And. I'm only saying this because I would. want you to do the same for me. I have. obviously noticed that you've been. getting more stuff done lately and I. just wanted to check in with you and see.

like how you're doing and make sure. you're okay. I think you have to make. sure. Did you kind of like notice my. wording here where I'm not like So, I've. noticed that you've been getting a lot. done to your face and you look so. different and it is starting to look. botched. So, I'm just wondering like why. you're doing that cuz like it's not. looking good. No, don't use the word. botched. Don't even use the words like. you're looking different. Like obviously. she can't see it. If she knew like wow,

I look [ __ ] crazy. But it takes a. while to get to the point where you. recognize that, right? And so I think. it's being very loving and it's just. saying as a friend, I would want you to. do the same for me. And then again, like. I feel like the theme of this is like. you can only go so far. If she's like, "What are you talking about?" and blows. up on you, she's eventually going to. realize it, right? Because one day a. doctor is going to be like, "I can't put. another syringe in your [ __ ] face.". or she's gonna take it so far that then.

all of a sudden she'll have her own. recognition because her [ __ ] mom's. gonna send her a picture of herself when. she was a child and she'll be like that. wasn't me. And they're like, "No, Rebecca, it's literally you." But post. nose job, chin implant, jaw implant, you. do look a little different. And she'll. be like, "Oh my god, I was so cute. Why. do I look like that?" Like something. will break for her, but maybe you can. get in there and just make her not feel. insecure is the biggest [ __ ] thing. You have been there. We've all been. there. If a friend brings something up. to you and they do it in a way that you.

can recognize it in that moment, but. because they're being so aggressive, you. get defensive and it's like maybe later. that night it will actually sink in and. you'll be able to handle it, but then. you're like, "Well, I'm not going to. talk to her about it cuz she was so. judgy and so rude about how she handled. it." So, it's with grace and it's with. ease. But again, everyone's going to do. what they want to do. So, you don't want. to [ __ ] up your relationship by telling. her that her face is [ __ ] botched, you know? Okay, this is one that I. really feel is good to end with because.

it honestly kind of kind of goes back to. the beginning of this episode. Hi, Daddy. I went out last weekend and. met this really cute guy. We talked. seriously all night and had the best. chemistry. He ended up walking me home. and asking for my number, but didn't try. to kiss me or anything. It's been a week. and he hasn't texted me. I found his. Instagram and I'm thinking about DMing. him, but is that crazy? I want to shoot. my shot, but also I know that if he.

wanted to, he would. I kind of just want. to know whether he's into me or not, so. I can mentally compartmentalize him. So, sweetie, sweetie, sweetie, sweetie, sweetie, sweetie. You have your. answer. You know what I mean? Like, let's use those context clues. He walked. you home. He didn't try to kiss you. He. asked for your number. He asked for your. number. He didn't give you his number.

And when he asked for your number, he. didn't say, "Texting you now, so you. have it." He didn't call you saying, "That's my number. Did that work? Did I. write that down?" He just, "Oh, thanks. for your number. Bye." Walked away. It's. been a week. You haven't heard from him. You haven't heard from him. You haven't. heard from him. He has your number. He. hasn't heard from No. No. No. No. No, no, no. O, he [ __ ] hate you. He doesn't hate. you, but he doesn't like you. You know. what I mean? We got to just We got to.

just [ __ ] take it on the chin and. roll. If a man takes your number and. doesn't [ __ ] text you immediately in. the next 24 hours, 48 hours, it's it's a no for him, dog. You know, and I feel like you going and looking at. his Instagram and then you're going to. try to DM him. Why do you have to DM. him? Let's remember because he didn't. give you his number. You know what I. mean? For all you know, this man has a. full girlfriend. Like, this is something.

that is so hard in the moment to notice. And I so get that, but that's why you. need that fatherly advice to smack it. out of you to be like, "No, no, no, no. Why do you have to DM him?" Because you. don't have his number. He asked for your. number and he has never texted you. again. I know it's hard and I think this. is now to be less of aggressive. Why I. think it's so hard sometimes is. when you have a really [ __ ] fun night. with someone, there's two things that. can happen. Number one, you can be.

misinterpreting the fun night as, "Oh my. god, this is literally the beginning of. the rest of my life." And they're blown. off steam after work and they're just. having a nice time. And if it was you or. [ __ ] Samantha or Caroline or Grandma. [ __ ] a he would have talked to anyone. that night at the bar, you know what I. mean? Like he just was looking for a. little bit of comfort and a good time. talk and then that was it. So you have. to compartmentalize like this was a good. moment, but that doesn't mean [ __ ] It. was a good moment, but how did he act.

after the good moment? It's easy to have. a fun night where you don't know. someone's backstory. You don't know. their baggage. You don't know jack [ __ ]. They're just a [ __ ] pretty girl in a. bar and a hot guy in a bar and you buy a. drink together. You hit it off. He walks. you home and he [ __ ] never talks to. you again. That is the easiest thing to. actually do. And the harder thing to do. is follow up and actually have a date. and now have a conversation and have a. planned situation. And he's not doing. that. Um, it sucks though. I think I've.

been there where I've, you know, met a. guy at a bar and been like, "Oh my god, that was so [ __ ] fun." And then he. just didn't give me the same energy back. the following days. And I was like, "Got. it. This is kind of weird. Clearly, I'm. misreading this. So, I'm going to pull. back." And I think that's all you can. do. Wait in the wings. If he ever text. you, I'm going to I'm going to give you. the cheat code and just give you the. answer now. He's never going to text. you. So, go back out to the bars. Find. another guy. And I actually was going to.

say, "Make sure you get their number. next." I think you now know if a man. ever asks for your number and he doesn't. give you his back or he doesn't text you. immediately, he's kind of trying to awkward exit. We've all done that, Daddy Gang. We have. all done that. And I have done that. I. have done that to um friends of Matts um. that are like periphery friends that. like we run into and they're like, "Oh. my god, well, oh, you're like, "Oh my. god, we should get Oh, totally. Totally. Give me your number. Give me that.

number. give me that number and I am. never gonna [ __ ] text you. Not. because all for different reasons. Sometimes it's like because there's. nothing to say and in the moment. understandably if someone I give credit. there's moments in work settings where. someone's like oh yeah maybe we'll we. know but we're trying to end the. conversation and it's weird to just be. like by sometimes and people word vomit. So they're like let's get a little drink. and it's like we don't need to get a. drink. We just did business. We're all. good. Email me. You know what I mean? So. sometimes it's word vomit. And that's.

what I worry for you. He's standing on. your stoop. Your hair is in the breeze. You're kind of leaning forward like. trying to kiss him. And he's like, "Why. don't you give me your number? Why don't. you give me your number and I'll uh I'll. hit you up." It's almost like a copout. where it's like an easy little like make. them think I'm coming back. He's never. coming back. So. that sucks. But at least you didn't like. date him for a year and he's a. narcissist. There's always a silver.

lining. Daddy gang, thank you so much. for tuning in on this Sunday session. It. feels right to be back. Every Sunday is. Father's Day. You know what I mean? Me, you, and just some really hard truths, but good truths cuz it's important, right? We need to be self-aware and we. need to keep it [ __ ] moving. We don't. have time for pieces of [ __ ] We don't. have time for people that are going to. waste our time and we don't have time. for people that aren't going to treat us. right. So, love you [ __ ] I'll see. you in two Sundays. Love you. Bye. [Music].

[Music].