Stop Idolizing the "Cool Girl"

Hello Daddy Gang. Welcome back to. another Sunday session of Call Her. Daddy. Um. my life right now is all about finding. pants that fit. And you know, as pregnancy is going. along, I don't I refuse to just wear the. same stretchy pants. Like I don't want. to be that girl that's like same outfit. every single time. So we're trying to. make the bump look cute and wear the. occasional cute outfit. Obviously, that.

does not pertain to today. Today I could. barely get it together. Um but when I. tell you I am searching for cute. pregnancy outfits because the minute. Here's the thing, the minute I find. pants, I buy two sizes up. Um a lot of. cute pants though do have a button and. so I can wear them for about 2 weeks and. then I sadly just outgrow them. And so. the strategy is constantly shifting, but.

I will say I think I'm starting to get a. hang of how to dress for the bump. I am. taking pride in some of my outfits, but. it is you know, it's wild changes, guys, but I am having fun with it and I am. enjoying myself. What else is going on. in my life right now? I Oh, I was at my. brother-in-law's house the other night. with our whole family for his birthday. and all of my nieces and nephews were. there and it was so cute explaining to. them that there is a baby in my belly.

and that they're going to have a cousin, aka a new friend coming soon. And my. little nephew is like staring at my. stomach incessantly with just like pure. curiosity and excitement and asking. like, "What's the name going to be?" and. asking if um like if he is allowed to. touch my belly. It's all very cute. Um. and so yeah, I anyways, life is life-ing.

and all is pretty good. Call Her Daddy. is brought to you by Häagen-Dazs. Daddy. gang, I think we all deserve a little. more me-time. Whether it's work, school, or whatever is bringing you down, it's. so important to take a second to slow. down and treat yourself. And lately, my. favorite way to do this is with some. rich, smooth, creamy ice cream, and none. better than Häagen-Dazs. You guys, you have to try their cherry dark. chocolate bar. Let me just tell you. something, okay? Picture rich cherry ice.

cream with some tart cherry ribbons all. covered in a thick layer of dark. chocolate. Yes, it's the kind of thing. you don't want to just eat, but you like. literally experience, okay? Usually, I'm. the type to just like crush a dessert in. 2 seconds, but this Oh girls, I'm taking. my time. I'm like savoring every bite. Häagen-Dazs is just one of those things. that's meant to be savored. I've. literally been eating Häagen-Dazs since. I came out of the womb. My entire family. has always had it stocked in our fridge. It'd be like movie night, boom, sit.

down, get our Häagen-Dazs. And now the. cherry dark chocolate bar, it's always. in my hand, okay? It is just a perfect. sweet treat that I just can't get enough. of. It's my go-to treat at the end of a. long work day. So, take your sweet time. That's Dazs, available at retailers. nationwide. But enough about me. So, I was thinking about something the. other day when I was. driving home from work. I feel like. sometimes when I come home from work, it's either like I just fully listen to. music or a podcast or I drive in.

silence. And I don't know why, but. recently, you guys, I have nothing I. want to listen to, so I'm just driving. in silence. And that silence has allowed. me to really think a lot. um with my thoughts in my commute home. That is one of the positives, I would. say, of like not working from home. It's. like I do kind of like my commute, cuz. I'm like, let's get inside this dome, Alex. Like, what's going on, sweetie? Let's have a little therapy session. together. And then, what ended up happening was I.

kind of came up with a topic that I. wanted to just quickly address with the. daddy gang. Um something I was thinking. about is like, why is it so cool to act. like you don't care? Why is it so cool to act like you didn't. even try? It just happened. Like, I. think there is this huge lie I feel like. we are all collectively participating in. right now, which is essentially the myth. of. effortlessness. Like, why the [ __ ] is it suddenly, I.

guess, and maybe it's not suddenly, but. like it it feels like people think it's. cool to act like you don't care. When did trying become embarrassing or, you know, too try hard? Like, if you go. on social media, everything is curated. to look like it just happened. Like, you. look at the cooking videos and, you know, these creators throw like. three random ingredients into a pan, they snap their fingers, and then it's. like a Michelin star meal. And also, their kitchen looks pristine and so.

clean. Easy, breezy, beautiful, delicious. And what's obvious, and what they do not. show you, is the 3 hours of prep that. went into that food, and the camera. angles, and the sink that is full of. crusty dishes, and the fact that, you. know, they probably burned the first. batch. You know, we didn't get to see. that part. Um or maybe it actually ended. up tasting like [ __ ] But, we just see the super quick, easy. couple step meal to make after work. Um.

and that is annoying. Even the fitness. videos, they look perfect, they're. sucking in, the lighting is hitting. perfectly. They don't show the gasping. for air in between takes. I just. I know this isn't a new concept, I just. feel like it's like shouting in my face. recently. Like we're just constantly. consuming content that says, "Look how amazing my life is. And oh, by. the way, I barely even tried.". Like, "Look how I barely even Like I. barely put effort into this. Look how.

easy this was for me." And I don't know. I just feel. exhausted from it. It's toxic and it's. just a filtered lie. And this isn't just, obviously, social. media. It's definitely heightened there, but I feel like this goes back It. actually reminded me. it's almost like going back to. childhood. Stay with me, okay? You're. like, "Alex, we don't always have to. take it back to childhood." Yeah, we do. Hold on. Do you guys remember the kid in school.

who would sit down for an exam, ace it, and be like, "Oh my god, I didn't even. study." For me, the kid was Connor. And. I was like, "Connor." And then meanwhile, you're up, you stayed up till like 2:00 a.m., flashcards everywhere, sweating through. your t-shirt on your way to the test. And maybe, maybe by the grace of God, you got a B plus. Maybe. Honestly, probably a B. Maybe even a C, okay? And. I I was reflecting back. on my drive home, thinking about like, "Whoa, why did we grow up feeling.

embarrassed for being the person who. studied? Why did we validate the person who. bragged about doing the bare minimum and. still had some success or the same level. of success as the person who actually. tried? I feel like to some degree, we have. carried that exact same energy straight. into our adult lives. And yes, most. visibly, onto social media. And then, I couldn't help but think, "We've also carried it into modern.

dating." For all my single girlies out. there, this one's for you. I want to take accountability. Trust me, I was the number one culprit. I would say don't call her daddy and I. it's not that I actually don't agree. with it cuz it does work, but it was. like pretend you don't care. It looks so. much cooler. I've literally said it. before, the person who cares least in. the relationship holds all of the power. And it sucks because that shouldn't be. the case, but somehow it is.

In dating, we can get so caught up in. playing these psychological games where. whoever, you know, takes longer to text. back wins. And if you show excitement, you're desperate. And if you plan a nice. date, oh my god, well. you should just end it all. You're just. doing way too much. So everyone then walks around wearing. this like armor of like, "Yeah, we're. just hanging out, but like whatever. I. don't really care." And it's a complete. defense mechanism because if you act.

like you don't care, then if it fails, you don't have to face the humiliation. of the rejection. You can end up just. saying like, "Well, I I wasn't even. trying anyways.". But as I've gotten older, I've realized. it is a very miserable way to live your. life. Like, yes, without a doubt in dating, it. does work temporarily. The guy may find. you more interesting and elusive and. confusing and distant, so it makes him. want you more cuz the chase is so fun. Who doesn't love the [ __ ] chase? But. then in the end, you just played a game.

pretending to be something that you're. not all to win the guy that now. doesn't even really know who you are. And then to some degree, you have to. keep up this facade that is by no means. enjoyable or fulfilling. And I listen, I have always always said. when it comes to dating, it is so. important that you know your audience. and you know what your end goal is. If I. was watching this podcast and I was in. college, I would be like, "All I'm. taking from this Alex is like play the.

game, ignore him, make him want me.". Because that is so applicable and. relatable to your life in that moment. And like if you were just trying to get. your friends invited by the hot athlete. to the party, oh my god, without a. doubt, honey, you should act away. You. should be so cool. You should so act. like you don't care. Get in there. It. definitely works every time. But I do. and think it's important to know because. I do think as the daddy gang, we are. all, you know, evolving and we're. growing and I have some daddy gang that.

are older with me, okay? It's not all. just high school and college people. watching this even though I know you're. here, so that's why I'm also saying like. girl, if you want to get invited to the. party, oh, leave them on red, then text them. back the next day. Like make it so. confusing, for sure. But it is a very temporary solve. And. when you are at a young point in your. life, a temporary solve is the perfect. solve because nothing really is actually.

you want it to last. Like I don't. actually [ __ ] like the frat boy, but. I want to go to Kai Phi tonight. Hello. And so this temporary solve, I. just think you need to be like aware of. because eventually you do need to live. your life. And most of us care about our life and. our happiness, obviously. And the. short-term wins, depending where you're. at in your life and the circumstances, when it does become all encompassing and. it becomes a part of your life in this. like really major way, that's in my. opinion when you actually start to lose.

Because then you are just being. disingenuous to a degree that is beyond. unfulfilling. I feel like my college self would like. slap me in the face right now. I'm like, "Shut up. I don't want to hear that." So. fair, Alex. Keep doing what you're. doing. Lock in those extensions. Put the. self-tanner on. Put the fake eyelashes. on. And do your [ __ ] thing, girl. But. I'm just at a different place in my. life, right? So that is not as. applicable to me anymore. Me being cool. and elusive and like doing all that, it.

does it's not helping me at all. I'm. just getting I would just get annoyed. and be like, "Why why am I doing this? Like I don't need to go to Kai fight. tonight. I don't want to go hook up with. the frat bro." Like, "Huh?" Like he's my. husband and I want him to understand. what I'm directly [ __ ] saying to him. So it's circumstantial. >> Also, let's say you are that person who. actually does just have things fall in. their lap. Like you win the game, you. get the guy, you get the job, and you. don't really have to lift a finger for. certain things in your life. Totally.

great. To some degree. But what skills did you. build? What resilience do you have? To some capacity, someone could argue. nothing, zero. The person who tries, who. sometimes fails, who gets their. heartbroken, who burns the dinner, who has to rewrite the resume five. times, that person is inevitably. building character. And I'm not saying again, if you are. someone where like something comes easy.

to you, like a [ __ ] slay, go. But if. everything in life is just like, "I. didn't really try. Just have a saying. and then like like who. okay.". That's well that's also no [ __ ] fun. Right? I don't know. I I think when you. focus entirely on making the outcome. look effortless, cuz most of the time it. is, you are essentially completely. bypassing the actual point of life, which is the messy, uncomfortable, beautiful process of learning and. growing. And so I think we need to stop.

glamorizing these people online and in. life who are pretending it was just so. easy. And great if it actually was for them, but life isn't easy. So maybe the one. thing that they're showing online, maybe. it was actually easy for them. But you aren't seeing the other 10. things that they really struggled with. And I think it's important to talk about. the psychological toll of all of this. [ __ ]. Because. it is one thing to look at an effortless. video and think, "Okay, that is.

objectively fake." It's a whole other. thing when you are lying in bed at 11:00. p.m. You are scrolling and you see. someone launching a business or meal. prepping for the entire month or doing a. 5:00 a.m. workout routine and they look. flawless. Not a drop of sweat, no eye. bags, just pure productivity. What does that do to our brains? It. makes us feel like absolute [ __ ]. garbage. We look at them and we think,

"Wait, why am I struggling so hard just. to just do the bare minimum?" You feel. like a failure because your real life. has friction. Your house is messy when. you cook. You look like a drowned rat. after you worked out. You actually have. to cry sometimes when you are stressed. about your career. You're not just girl. bossing so [ __ ] close to the sun. 24/7. And so when other people make. productivity look easy, not just, you. know, possible, but legit like easy.

work, it weaponizes their success against your. self-esteem. It makes you feel like you. missed the memo on how to be a human. being who can just do it all and then. some. Little sprinkle, boom. And so inevitably we start thinking that. because it's hard for us, we must be. doing something wrong or we're just lazy. pieces of [ __ ] Why can't I get it. together? How are they doing that? And I'll tell you why.

Because you were at work all day. and you had a hard day and then you came. home or you were at home working hard. all day and then work stopped and work. could have been being a mother or work. could have been a full-time job. And. then you had to feed yourself or you had. to feed your family and the last thing. you want to do is cook an aesthetic. meal. You just want something to. literally feed your body and you're. hungry. You don't have time to put on. the aesthetic cute workout outfit, okay? You're throwing on your ripped college. old t-shirt and some shorts with a. couple holes in them, and you are just.

proud that you made it to the goddamn. gym. And a lot of times, maybe you're not making it to the gym. because of the real day you had, the. emphasis on the real day. And yeah, it needs to end with maybe. decompression on the couch and not the. perfect meal and the workout and the. matching [ __ ] set that goes with it. You want to eat your snacks, you want to. watch your favorite TV show, and you.

want to black out the hard day that you. just had. That is closer to real life. than almost anything. I also think and. I don't know. This could be a stretch, but I do think that this topic kind of. ties. into the mythical exhausting archetype. of the cool girl. The cool girl is just. like the ultimate embodiment of. effortlessness, right? She's hot, but. she obviously doesn't try that hard to. wear too much makeup. She's successful,

but she never talks about working, and. if she does, like, uh, just happened. easily. And by making it all look so. effortless, she's never been busier. She. is grinding it out. And again, like, cool, great, but. please, can we not forget how much. effort is going into the effortless. image we are all consuming? Guys, I'm telling you, it was a really. productive drive. Like, I was like, boom! Cuz I was like, I need to hear. this, and then I was like, I think the. daddy gang needs to hear this.

So, here's my opinion. Cuz now it's. like, okay, wait, so what do we do? My. opinion, what is actually cool, what is. genuinely attractive, is trying and is. evolving. And that can be so messy and. unsexy and unglamorous and really hard. and really exhausting, but it is so much. cooler to meet someone who says, "I. "Yeah, I am trying this new thing and. honestly, I kind of suck at it right now. or like it's really hard and I'm working. through it, but I'm figuring it out.". That takes a secure ego. That is someone.

I personally want to follow and learn. from and be friends with. And so the next time you see someone. making life look so effortless and you. start to feel that wave of shame that we. feel every time we open our phones and. we see the perfect aesthetic and all. that 10-step program I want you to. actually just flip the script. Just remind yourself that you are living. in the real world. You are doing the. heavy lifting. You are experiencing. trial and error and you are actually.

changing and growing. You are not living. to quickly capture something on your. phone for everyone else to give you. validation over. How do you feel about. yourself? If you were never able to open. the internet again, if you were never. able to post a video again, how would. you feel about yourself? Do you feel. good? Are you happy with your life? That's all that [ __ ] matters. So, I also think keeping in mind and maybe. this is just like me getting older. Grandma Cooper coming through, but this.

is not the [ __ ] that at 80 years old we. are going to be showing our. grandchildren or our friends and our. families. Like, "Guys, look at this. picture I took and like look how. aesthetic my shoes were in this photo. and it so gave cool girl. Oh my god, look at that." No. It will be the stories about life and. living and failing and the struggles you. overcame. When you think about the. things you are proudest of achieving in. your life so far, did they come from an. effortless moment or did they come from.

a time where you worked your [ __ ] ass. off or you survived something really. hard? And now you get to look back and. be so proud of yourself for all of the. hard work you put in, because you tried. and you care, and that is the least. embarrassing thing I truly think. You. own it, be proud of it, be proud of who. you are for putting yourself out there, be proud of your life. That is [ __ ]. cool, and I think that makes you way. more [ __ ] interesting. So,

again, this isn't to like just [ __ ] on. the internet, but it is to put in. perspective for ourselves of like what. we are consuming. is potentially causing us more anxiety. and more harm than good. And you need to. be able to differentiate your real life. from just like something that you think. maybe scrolling is going to alleviate. your stress from the day, and it's. actually only going to make you so much. more stressed. And so, I think that we. have to force ourselves to wake up, because like I said, when we're 80, we're going to look back and be like,

"Fuck, I spent so much [ __ ] time on. that thing." And like, what? And so, to make sure we're curating our. pages of like people we actually feel. like we get uplifted from, and and. storytellers, and and creators. If. Again, I get it. We're not going to just. [ __ ] throw our phones into the ocean. And if you are that person, babe, honestly, so much power to you. But, there is a. line that I think we can start to. straddle between being so more aware of.

like calling it what the [ __ ] it is. Social media and all of it creates. addiction. Most of us are living and. breathing with an addiction. And it is not our fault. This has been a the These are billion. trillion dollar. companies and in an industry. that is profiting off of this. And so, I think when you Then, when you. zoom in to your life, and you're sitting.

at home, and you're miserable after. work, and you're just feeling like, "Fuck, my day was so hard. My boss was an. [ __ ] I. like I'm not making the amount that I. want at my job or my coworkers are being. [ __ ] or am I at the right position? And oh, by the way, I have to now go. deal with my family this weekend and I'm. so stressed about that. We feel and I do. believe in the beginning days of social. media this was the truth. We feel like. the internet will actually bring us. reprieve and it will cause.

us to feel so much relief because it. will take us out of our day-to-day just. like sometimes we feel when we watch a. movie or we read a book. But that is so. different. It is endless. It is. comparison and you are watching. essentially a version of your life just. looking 10 times [ __ ] better because. of the curation, because of the people. behind these machines. And so, we have. to try to remember that and that's I. don't know. I know this is such a heavy. frustrating topic because then it feels.

like and then we're going to get in bed. tonight and we're just going to keep. scrolling. But I do think if you are. someone who is struggling with your. mental health, if you are struggling. with comparison, if you are struggling. with jealousy, if you are struggling. with self-worth, if you are struggling. with not feeling great about where. you're at in your career, your personal. life, your financial life, any of it, the internet is only going to make you. feel worse about it. And so, you really need to try to find a. will and a way to. disengage to some degree. Like I will.

say, so I deleted TikTok off of my phone for. almost a month and. I re-uploaded it because I wanted to. post these two videos that I was posting. on Instagram. I wanted to post them. there for work. And I posted them for. work and then I went to my for you page. and I was like, I can handle this. Like. I'm just going to I'm just going to. And then 30 minutes goes by and I was.

like, no, no, no, no, no, can't handle. this." And I'm telling you guys my. dopamine levels like. I was immediately more triggered in a. bad mood. Things I was seeing I was just. like, "Ugh, like I don't like this. I. don't like the way I'm feeling." And. there was such a happiness I realized I. had been feeling from not engaging in. that world. And I will say even Tik Tok. versus Instagram like for me like Tik. Tok I feel like started as this really. positive app and now it's just like.

all these like really um like the. comment sections there are so hateful. I'll see a girl making a video about. food and I'm like, "Really, guys? I'm. like trying to [ __ ] cook, okay?". I like I don't want to talk about it but. I'm like trying to cook. And I've been. trying to cook and I'm like getting into. these so many recipes. I saw this woman. who made this like dumpling thing. Oh my. god, you guys it looks so good. It's. like. it's like an easier way to make. dumplings and I [ __ ] love dumplings. Then I go to the comment section and I'm. appalled. People are commenting on her.

shirt and her hair and her outfit and. telling her that she's a [ __ ]. hypocrite because the last time that she. had said that she didn't really like. using soy sauce and she was more of a. whatever sauce. And I'm like, "Oh my. god, I need to get out of here. I. literally need to get off the internet. Like I'm so scared. I'm so scared by. these comment sections. It's so. terrifying out there." Seeing this poor. girl try to make dumplings and then all. of a sudden she's getting crucified. because like people are saying her hair. looks electrocuted and they're saying. that she is like. what? And I was like, "I need to delete the app again.".

And so I was like, "I'm just going to. re-upload it every time I want to upload. a video and then I'm removing it from my. phone." And I have been reading I've. been re-reading Throne of Glass. Oh my god, there's so many books in the. series which also like. pro tip but like if you're really trying. to get off of social media find a series. because that I'm just like in my series. right right I'm loving it. There's so. many books in that series, and I am like. a kid in a candy store. Every night I.

get in bed, I don't scroll on social. media, and I'm just reading. And I'm not. saying that I'm, you know, 100% healed from all of the. addiction that I too have in my veins, but I am. trying to actively, I said this to my. therapist, like, I would consider myself a smart person. And so, shame on me if I have. a situation in front of me that is.

essentially my own version of a study. When I am on Tik Tok and I am scrolling. for longer than. a minute, my. mental health. is not as positive as it was before I. opened the app. That is a fact. When I spend more than a minute to an. hour reading books, my mental health is.

five times better because I feel. inspired and I feel intellectually. stimulated and I feel like I'm in this. brilliant world-building that this. author created for me and I'm. vocabulary-wise expanding my palette, like, all of this. And so, I would be an. idiot then, right, if I then chose at. night to pick up my phone and do the. thing that makes me feel like [ __ ]. rather than going for the book. Right?

So, why is it so [ __ ] hard? Why is it. so hard then? Because it's not just the. phone. It is the social. pressure that we feel. It is so hard to. feel like you are not in it. It's so. hard to feel like, also, you want to you. have to put way more [ __ ] effort into. reading. You You can be so brain dead. when you are scrolling on social media, but somehow your brain-dead, so you're. getting nothing out of it. And although. we say like, "No, I got some stuff." For.

sure, I've learned like a couple things. off social media, but the negative. outweighs the positives, right? And so. it's like, how are we going to force. ourselves to only engage with things. that make us happy? Damn, it's a cruel. world out there, Daddy Gang. >> Call Her Daddy is brought to you by. Shopify. So, when I am doing some damage. for online shopping, there is nothing I. love more than going to check out. We. can all see it now, and seeing that.

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I don't even know. Let's answer some questions. So, there. has been so much conversation in my DMs. recently and I didn't even know where to. start today. So, I'm we're going to go. all over the place. Okay, first. question. I'm in my 30s and still going. through dating. At this point, a lot of. the dating pool is either divorced or. divorced with kids. I found a really. great guy, I think, but I never pictured. myself dating someone with kids and.

trying to keep an open mind. Advice. Okay, I love this question because I. think that as we continue to progress in. our life, we have these genuine ideas of. what we think we're going to end up. with, right? We have these people in our. heads from a young age sometimes of. like, this is my guy or this is my girl. and this is what they're going to be. like. And then life happens and you. maybe don't get the job you thought or. your life changes and all this and. there's so much that ends up not going.

the way that you planned and then all of. a sudden you're like, should I just try so hard to force what. I thought I wanted when I was younger or. should I look at my life at where it is. now and accept it and embrace it and. enjoy it. And I think for you it's like, if you are finding that all these men. that you end up going out with are. divorced, like. amazing. And and who cares, right? And. so I think there's like a there's a. stigma, right? And maybe that means. though that this person is couldn't be.

more open and knows exactly what they. want. And especially if they have kids, listen, I completely understand there. are going to be some people where. they're like, it just wouldn't be for. me. I I wouldn't want to be a. stepmother. I do think that it seems like you are. open to dipping your toes in and I think. as long as you're open with the person. that you're dating and you say, "Listen, I have never dated someone or it's very. very few that I've dated that have a kid. and I I have to be really up front. Like, I need to just see how this. progresses and goes as I'm sure you also.

need to. I know you're not going to just. you know, introduce me to your child. immediately, but I wanted I want to be. respectful to the dynamic and be up. front and honest that like I don't know. how I fully feel yet, but I want to. explore this, but I I want to put that. on the table immediately." I think. people have so much respect when you're. just like up front from the very. beginning because then you never hid. anything. You were never dishonest and. you were never misleading. So, get after it, girl. Okay. Please ensure this is anonymous. Babe, I.

got you. Um I don't know what to do. I'm. in college and I have four roommates and. three of them are in long-term healthy. relationships and the other one is. constantly in and out of situationships. I am the only one who is chronically. single and they never want to go out or. do anything fun and if they do, they. always bring their boyfriend. I just. want my friends back. What do I do? Okay. I have to say, instead of being like, "I. just want my friends back. What do I. do?" I think you have to, number one, accept your friends for where they are.

at in their life. We're not mad that. they have boyfriends, right? But we are. frustrated that it has disrupted the. dynamic that you were used to with your. friends. Totally understandable. What I. would say to you though is I feel like. sometimes when we are the one single. friend in a group dynamic where all of. our friends are in relationships, we. convince ourselves like we are the ones. who are lacking or there's something. wrong with us. And it's like just. because you're single, that doesn't mean. there's anything wrong with you. If.

anything, you could argue you're not. settling. You're not going to put up. with the bare minimum. You are someone. who is like You know what I mean? Like, don't I Not that you're saying that, but. I just want you to remind yourself of. that. So, what I would say is almost. similar to date nights that all of your. friends in relationships are doing, you need to be doing single nights for. yourself with other single women. Your. schedule is just as important and. valuable as your friend schedule with. their romantic partners. The single. friend should not be looked at as.

someone who is like, "Oh, well, your. life is less complicated, and so. therefore you should bend and, you know, to our rules and to our schedules.". Absolutely not. You are a human being. who has needs and who has wants and who. has a life, and so you need to treat. yourself just. the same. Like, when they have date. nights and you're like rolling your. eyes, it's like, "No, no, no. Say they. always do date nights on Thursdays." Who. knows? That's your single night. And you. Or doesn't need to be on Thursdays. It. could be wherever you want. But like, pour into yourself and realize that your.

time is as precious as theirs. So, we need to get you some single. friends. And I think then it will make. you less frustrated by the obvious shift. and the kind of like hole that you're. feeling with your. non-single friends. Because if you were. like out, vibing, dancing all night, you. had some drinks, you met up with people, you and your single friends had a crazy. night, then when the next night. everyone's cuddled up with their boo, and you're like [ __ ] hungover or.

whatever, you're like so happy to be at. peace. You're like, "Hey, Brad, can you. grab Oh, yeah. Grab me the uh Grab me. some popcorn. Yeah." You're like. literally in between all the couples, and you couldn't be happier cuz you're. like, "Great. I can have literally like. my my big pants on, my cozies. I'm. watching the movie with everyone, and I. don't want any of the men that I was. just with last night to be here. It's my. night off." If anything, when you're. hanging out with them, you're like, "Ooh, this is mama's night off, babe.". That's how I think you need to think. about it. Okay, this is a great.

question. And this I think was very um, relatable. A lot of people wrote in to. me just about struggling with the. dynamic after college, moving home. So, let's get into it. Someone wrote in and. said, "I am trying to decide if I want. to move back home with my grandma to. save money to study in London next year. I'm 26 and have lived alone for a long. time and I feel like it's embarrassing. to move in with my family, although it's. a greater although it's for a greater. purpose. Should I do it?". Absolutely. And And here's what I will.

say. Sacrifice is not embarrassing. And. having a goal is not embarrassing. This. is a temporary situation that fits into. a plan that you have for yourself, that. is prioritizing yourself. And so, yes, it's a sacrifice, but it is for the. greater good of a goal that you want for. yourself. And sometimes the plan. includes things that are not going to be. as glamorous. And that is okay. The fact. that you will then get to be in London.

and you're going to put yourself in the. position to go to London and to study. and to experience a new culture and meet. new people. Imagine how incredible when. you go out to dinner with new friends or. you're on a date and you get to say, like, "I sacrificed for a year so I. could come here and experience this.". How much sweeter is that going to taste? So, I understand, listen, the feeling of moving in and back with. your parents, girl, I like I hear you. I.

am so there. I get it. We are all going. to feel insecure. We're going to be. like, "Oh my god, I'm living with family. right now." But you have your plan and. that's all that matters. And you don't. have to. convince people of your plan. Like, anyone listening that's so. frustrated because maybe you're not. where you're at in life right now and it. does pertain to you living at home and. you're saving and you're try You're. trying. And you understandably it [ __ ] sucks. It [ __ ] sucks if you're going on a.

date and you're like, I live with my my. parents. I so hear you, but I also want. you to give yourself more grace to just. realize like. you are someone who is resilient and you. are working your ass off to have a great. life for yourself. And that is going to. be the situation sometimes. And so, be. easier on yourself. Yeah, I think, girl, you're going to. London. But first you're going to. grandma's house. And that's okay. Call. Her Daddy is brought to you by Uber.

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more on the Uber app. This episode is. brought to you by Polymarket. So, everyone has that one friend. That one friend that's like they knew. the couple was going to break up. They. called the surprise album drop. They. somehow knew who was getting cast on the. reality show before the announcement. even happened. Like we all have that. friend, right? And every time you ask. them how they knew, they're like, "I. don't know. I just Guys, like I just had. a feeling.". Well, let me tell you something, Daddy.

gang. Lately, I have been getting my. feelings. from Polymarket. Okay? Polymarket, my. god, how I love it. Okay, it is the. world's largest prediction market. Basically, a place where you can trade. on what's actually going to happen. across pop culture, entertainment, sports, relationships, and more. Everything in our life, girls, is on Polymarket. So, instead of just. sending these hot takes in your group. chat, you can actually trade on them and. see what other people think is going to.

happen before it does. And the market. moves fast because when people actually. have something on the line, they pay. closer attention. For example, hi Love. Island. So, it could be who's winning. Love Island, whether Kylie and Timothy. are getting engaged this year. What do. you guys think? We'll go to Polymarket. When is Taylor Swift going to drop. another album? Do you have any ideas? Go. to Polymarket. Who's going to take home. the Oscar that year? Go to Polymarket. Do you see what I'm. saying? It gives you real clear idea of. what's going to happen before it becomes. the obvious take all over the internet.

Even if you're not trading, for me. personally, I always tell my friends. like just it's so fun to be on it and. it's a great way to keep up with culture. and to see what people are thinking and. starting conversations. It just starts a. lot of conversations as well. So, Daddy. gang, if you're the friend who's always. calling things early, this is basically. built for you. So, download Polymarket, p o l y m a r k e t, now available in. the United States and free to sign up.

New entertainment and culture markets. are coming to the app every day, so be. the first to trade on them using code. daddy 50, d a d d y 50, to get $50 when. you deposit your first 20. Have fun. Love you guys. Someone said, "My fiance will not sit down and talk to. me about future finances. What do I do? He keeps saying, quote, we'll figure it. out, but will not sit down and discuss.

with me. I have tried so many times.". Girl, okay. Some people may not like this, but this. is my personal advice. You need to go to. your fiance. You need to put the ring, take it off of. your finger, and you need to put it down. on the table. And you need to say, "I cannot with good conscience, no matter how much I love you, no matter. how much I want to move forward and get. married, and I love our relationship, I.

cannot get married if we do not have an. adult mature conversation about our. finances. I can't I can't get married if. you can't have that one conversation. with me. And. I have tried multiple times to do this. I have been denied every single time I. have tried to do this. And if you can't. do that for me, I don't understand how. we have a future here because life is. going to be about a lot of uncomfortable. situations and a lot of uncomfortable.

conversations in a marriage. And if you. can't meet me here, and you can't sit. down and have a face-to-face, eye. contact, honest conversation, then what. foundation have we built? I just am so. I don't know. Like I get so protective, especially for women, when it comes to. finances. Like. it freaks me out because you're not. being dramatic. If someone is actively. avoiding having a conversation with you. in a relationship, that is your.

business. You are trying to plan for. your life. You cannot let this person. essentially gaslight you into thinking. that like, "Oh, you know, we'll figure. it out.". Lori Cooper, my mother, always said this. to me, and I hope people can hear this, and honestly know it's only coming from. a loving place when I say and when she. says, "Something that bothers you in your. relationship will only get 10 times. worse when you get married. If you think. that dating, oh, well, when we get.

married, he won't do that or No, no, no, he'll do it, and it will only get worse. Unless you are actively working to solve. something, unless you are actively in. couples therapy together, or there is an. honest, earnest effort from him, other. than that, like. this this is going to be your life, girl. And so you need to hold strong in. we ain't moving forward. until I get some answers. And if you're. not comfortable with that, then I'm not. comfortable with this.". Don't let that [ __ ] gaslight you.

Okay, this was a topic that sadly was. very common, so I want to touch on this. Someone wrote in and said, "Hi, Daddy. I am currently on the phone with one of. my friends discussing how to go about an. intervention with one of our friends. over drinking because she has become a. full-blown alcoholic. We're in our 20s. and love going out and having fun, but. it has gotten so out of hand, and she is. now drinking every day around the clock. by herself and hiding alcohol in her. closet even though she lives alone.

Anyways, we've tried to talk to her. about it before, but it turns into a. giant fight every single time, and we. don't know what else to do. We love her. so much, but we genuinely are so worried. that she was going to drink herself to. death. Any advice would be amazing. Oh, that is so hard, and I am really. sorry because. I just feel like there's something so. hard about addressing alcoholism when. you are at that. young age in your life, when you are in. your teens or your 20s, even your 30s,

where like I don't know, I feel like you. hear alcoholics and it's like. the dad or the this, and like addressing. it in your early 20s, it just feels. like, "No, they don't have a problem.". And so, the fact that enough friends. around this person are like, "We are. scared for this person's life." That is. so serious, but also recognizing. [ __ ] being a friend is so hard cuz. you're like, you can't force this person. to do anything. You can't force this. person to get help, and I think. what's so hard about addicts is you.

don't want to completely. abandon them, and and I know the. frustration when it's like, "We've tried. and we've tried and we've tried, and. they don't take your help." And. sometimes it's like just being there and. trying and trying and trying is what is. actually going to save the person's. life, even as exhausting it is is. And. I'm not saying it is your. responsibility. Like, it's such a hard, complicated situation, and I obviously. don't have all the details, but I would. say my advice is I think because you're. in a friend group, it probably is.

really, really tough of like, let's say. it was after a night out, and you guys. then go to her. Like, there is an. element of ganging up on, even though. you're not doing it intentionally. This. is such a wound this person clearly. cannot see and is not able to identify. right now. I think that sometimes. weirdly in these situations, maybe. writing a letter would be the most. effective to start it. And writing a. really heartfelt letter, maybe from all. of you, maybe from one of you. Again,

you know your friend better. I don't. know. You would have to kind of assess. the situation, but I do think you can. set a boundary. And this is where it. obviously gets so complicated with. addicts where it's like you don't want. to leave this person. You don't want to. abandon them. And also, you deserve to. live your life. You're clearly in your. early 20s. You guys are having fun. You're going out. And I can. only imagine as someone who has. experienced someone. in my early 20s who was around me with.

extreme addiction, it was. I don't I don't even know the word. Like. it was one of the hardest things that I. have ever experienced in my life because. you don't know what to do. And when you. were that young, you shouldn't know what. to do. You're in a position right now. where it's like what the. like what? You're seeing things probably. when you're out with this person. And. so, I think. you could eventually say and it feels. like it probably has gotten to this.

point the way that you're writing in. that I'm reading. It's like you guys. have had interventions before. I don't. think you're far off from saying, "Listen, we. are in pain watching you be in pain. It. is hurting us to watch you hurt. yourself. And. we we can't keep doing this cycle. And. so, we want to spend time with you. We love. you as a friend. We would love to. continue to like hang out, but we want. to do it in a way that doesn't involve. alcohol. We would love to do whether we.

do workout classes in the morning or we. go for brunch or we go shopping or we go. to the park or we all go on walks. Like. we want to try to be there with you, but. we can't keep doing it when alcohol's. involved. And we love you and and we're sorry it. has gotten to this point, but like we. can't keep we can't keep doing this. Uh man. I'll end on that one. That's. I just feel like it's so hard and I.

guess that's what life is, right? It's. like everyone is coming from their own. situation and their perspective and and. I feel for her and I feel for you. And that [ __ ] sucks because there's. never kind of a right answer when it. comes to that stuff. So, I mean, I I've had a lot of people I. feel like write in. recently about alcoholism and and even. if it's your partner, right? Like how to. handle and a lot of people. understandably have such a like I just. said a hard time naming it, right? With.

alcohol, it's one thing with drugs. I. think drugs it is so much easier to be. like, oh, you're an addict, you're. using. But with alcohol because it is so. social and it's. a part of culture to a capacity. depending on where you live and and who. you're friends with, it's so much harder to. call it what it is and it is an alcohol. problem most of the time. If you are. going out with someone you're going out. with your partner, if you're going out. with your friend and it constantly turns. into they overdrink,

they have an alcohol problem. If they. are constantly ruining nights because. they cannot control themselves, they. have an alcohol problem. If you are like. you just said catching this person. drinking alone, like that is an alcohol. problem. And so, it then does start to. you know, seep into everyone's lives. that is associating with this person and. that is when relationships get ruined. And so, to live under the same roof, whether it's a you know, a partner or.

something, there are steps you can take. and you can be there for someone, but. then at some point being there for. someone also. does change from being there trying. trying trying to being there from a. distance and being supportive, but also. being supportive of yourself and your. own mental health and recognizing that. sometimes. no matter what you do, it is not going. to help that person. Like what the [ __ ]. is the thing? You can bring the horse to. water, but you can't force the horse to. then drink the water. They've got to do. that on their own. So,

Oh. I didn't mean to end with a negative, but. I've got a I've got a large Sunday, girls. Okay, I got a lot to do today. Um. There's like a lot of like chores and. I've got I'm going to do laundry. I got. to go get some run some errands. Got to. go shopping. I got to keep take my dogs. on a walk. I got to feed this baby. Um. Yeah, there's a lot to do.

There's a lot to do and there's a lot to. do for all of us. So, Daddy gang, I love. you guys so much. I hope that was an. enjoyable Sunday session. And, you know, more. car things brought to Sunday sessions. here for you. Got you. Um. I love you guys so much and I will see. you [ __ ] on Wednesday. Goodbye.