Mischa Barton: Life Before & After The OC (Full Video)

What is up, Daddy gang? It is your. founding father, Alex Cooper, with Call. Her Daddy. >> Misha Barton, welcome to Caller Daddy. >> Thank you. Thanks for having me. >> I'm so happy we're finally doing this. >> I know. >> We've like wanted to do this for so long. and our schedules have been [ __ ] and. we're finally here. We're on the couch. We're cozy. We're ready to go. >> We're doing it. So, Daddy Gang, we're. currently in New York, which is where. you grew up and kind of like where you.

really, I feel like, got your start. Do. you plan on staying here long term? Like, is New York it for you? >> I love New York. I mean, I just feel. more at home here. I've actually I mean. this last year like since we first. started talking like I've been spending. a lot of time in London and Europe. again. But like I get that kind of those. kind of vibes when I'm in New York and I. get the culture and I you know I started. in the theater. I love being able to. like go to the theater all the time and. like hang out in the cute little.

bookshops and I love like the village. where I live. It's romantic and cute. >> It is. It's magical. I used to live here. and like every time I come back I'm like. >> yeah you're an east coast girl right. >> not Pennsylvania but you were born in. London or. >> yes no I was born in London and then we. moved to New York when I was 5 and a. half so I uh I actually had like a. little British accent and the whole. thing when I was a kid and had to lose. it I got teased mercilessly in school. >> Was that actually a good thing sometimes.

for like work could they be like do a. British accent and you could or do an. American and you could? >> Yeah, I still do. I mean, I'm very. grateful for it cuz when I went to like. they had to send me to a speech coach to. like get a proper transatlantic accent. So, [laughter]. >> they're like, "Be a valley girl, bitch.". You're like, "Oh, god.". >> Well, that was that's really hard for, believe it or not, that's more. complicated. It took living in LA for. years to be able to understand what that. even was. Cuz I only moved to LA for the.

OC. So, like they were like they would. always be like, "Can you sound more like. you know you're from the valley or more. Orange County?" And I was like, "I don't. actually like I've never been to Orange. County. I don't actually like know what. that is." You know what's weird though? Listening to you talk, you're so right. You have this like eloquent tiny twang. underneath and it is clearly from that. like English background. You got a great. voice. >> Going back to the beginning, what were. you like as a kid? I was I pretty. serious and very shy at first. So like I.

was like painfully shy and um kind of. awkward I guess like not very um but. very serious. When we think of actors. and actresses, I feel like people that. can't relate are always like, "Oh my. gosh, they're like the most outgoing and. the" and then I feel like every time I. speak to an actor, they're like, "No, I'm insecure. I was like trying to find. my voice, so like acting helped." like. how did you then find yourself like. putting yourself in these situations? I. got into it by um I didn't want to do.

any of like the outdoor activities at. camp and so I wrote this like monologue. and then that was what you all had to. perform something or show what you'd. been doing all summer at camp and so. like my big sister had been like. horseback riding and doing all this. stuff and I was just like sitting there. writing and um I performed the monologue. and then like the I guess someone's. parent in the audience was an agent at a. literary agency here in New York and was. like oh well she should definitely. get into acting and so like I tried it.

and yeah the rest is history. >> When I think about child actors I always. am like okay I can't imagine your social. life in school but was your experience. like you were the cool kid in school or. were you getting bullied or was you were. just kind of like fitting in? >> I was always a bit like on the outside. I only had like one best friend and I. was friends with a lot of the boys, but. it was always like me and this girl. Laura Catsman and like it was just the. two of us and we were kind of like. outsiders and like we were considered a.

bit like, you know, Yeah. Gothic, a bit. weird, a bit like off the bean. So, we. weren't popular. No. Yeah, >> that definitely wasn't the case. And I. got teased once The Six Sense and stuff. came out and the kids realized that I. was like, you know, in movies, then I. got teased. And I did not want to be. homeschooled. They tried and I fought. that tooth and nail. I just acted up. until they sent me back to school. I. just didn't want to be stuck at home. with my sister and like taken away from.

like that social like it was so. important to me to like have some. semblance of a normal kind of. >> I I enjoyed school. Like I really. genuinely enjoyed learning and like I. didn't want to become that like weirdo. kid who was isolated who had no like. social kind of interaction, >> right? You're like, "Let me be like. Gothic with my one friend in the. cafeteria, mom. Like, let me live.". Okay. Like, >> that was important to me. >> So, after high school, you had plans to. go to Yale.

>> There was an early acceptance to the. drama program, which I wanted to do. >> That's like a huge deal. And then you. decided not to go. >> I got cast in the OC when I was, you. know, it was right at that kind of. pivotal moment where it was going to. like kind of Yeah. affect the rest of. your life. And I fought it originally. I. didn't really want to do it, but I flew. out and I kind of did an episode on. another series, like a different series. that McGee was doing. And basically, everyone was like, "You have to take.

this opportunity. You have to because. it's like it's a big role and it's a. lifechanging thing.". >> Do you ever look back at that decision. and like question like h. >> I mean, yeah, but like I'm still like. that. Like I live near NYU. I' like. every day I walk by them like h I used. to sit in in the back of like some of my. friends lectures and classes that were. going to Colombia and NYU and stuff and. I would just like I mean I was obsessed. with school culture and learning. I. really enjoyed it. >> I'm going to walk past NYU like tomorrow.

and I'm like is that Misha? You're like. sitting in the classes. >> Yeah. But I do I find it fascinating. I. mean like you know my big sister she's. so smart. I mean, she studied law, politics, economics, and like was always. like she went to the University of. Edinburgh in the end. But like, yeah, I. don't know. I was always very jealous of. of that. But yeah, it always kind of. didn't sit well with me that I didn't. get to do university, that I didn't get. to go to college. So, we talk about the. OC. We got to get into it. You mentioned.

you obviously did took that instead of. going to college. Obviously, the OC was. this phenomenon that I don't know if. anyone expected it, but like it is still. iconic to this day. People still talk. about it co everyone's re-watching it. Like new people are finding the show. I'm curious like did you have any idea. that it was going to be as big as it. was? >> Not really. No. I think the first time. that we realized was when we went to the. first premiere episode of it and like we. literally thought that whole crowd was.

there for something else and we were all. [laughter] like I remember we were all. riding in the same van together and like. we looked over and we were like what's. that and they were like no that's like. the premiere for your show that's where. you're going. You were obviously the. youngest of everyone basically on that. cast. You were 17 at the time and. everyone was in their 20s, 30s, 40s. What was the dynamic initially like with. you and your castmates, you being 17? Um, well, I think it was a bit tricky. for everyone because like, you know,

just having like I was experiencing all. of my firsts and like I was so young and. like, you know, my mom would be on set. and um, yeah, I just needed a lot more. like attention in that sense because I. had my mom there and there was stuff. going on and I was just finishing up. school and so, you know, they like it. was a lot of my firsts, let's put it. like that. And I um that kind of really. like separated me a little bit from them. in the sense that like I wasn't out.

there living on my own in LA like yet. You know, >> I didn't realize that the romantic. partner that you had on your on-screen. relationship with the character Ryan. Atwood with Marissa, you being 17 at the. time, I didn't realize he was 25. And. so, like, again, as a 17-year-old. playing across a 25-year-old, like. that's a pretty big age gap. How did you. feel about that like romantic on-screen. relationship? >> Yeah, it wasn't just on screen either. I.

mean, it was kind of complicated for me. because like I said, like I went into. that like a virgin, like a kid, like. really feeling like I needed to grow up. quickly to portray like, you know, acting with people older than me was a. bit like, oh wow, like they know what. they're doing and like there's going to. be like relationships on this show and. you're going to need to like play that. part. And I didn't feel really ready for. that because I was always like a really. late bloomer in school and I hadn't.

really dated and I had Yeah. I just had. like no idea what I was doing really. So. I felt like I needed to catch up I think. a lot of the time. >> So you had a relationship with your. cast. >> Yeah. I mean, that was my first like and. I had no idea like what I was doing, you. know, and I think that kind of set. things off on the wrong foot, too, because it was like, you know, people. hook up on these shows and whatever and. like these things happen, but it was um. it we threw ourselves all into it very.

fast and like then, you know, when you. break up and like things don't work and. they see you dating other people and you. know, like notoriously there was a lot. of like intra dating on that show and. different people um getting together, but I yeah, it was um it definitely was. tricky that it happened like right out. of the gate. >> and that like I felt overwhelmed and not. ready for any of that and kind of like. you know they were also like I remember. they were like Misha's disappeared with.

Ben and like she's only 17 and a half 18. like and the producers like went to my. parents and were like you know it was. like a very it was kind of a whole. ordeal and so like that's in the very. beginning of the show before or even. like halfway through a season. So, there. was a lot going on there. That show uh. it just so much happened in three. seasons. It really feels like it was. over the course of like seven years or. something, but it wasn't. It was like. all crammed into this tiny little space.

>> I didn't understand how much, and I'm. not saying this happened in your case, but like I didn't understand how much. directors like are really like promoting. Yes. like hang out together and be. together like it works for chemistry. But was that your case where they. supported it? >> Yeah. I mean it kind of felt like a. double-edged sword because like you know. exactly what you said. They're like, "Oh, we want it to seem like you guys. are all friends and that you have. chemistry and we need this to really. work and make it look like you guys have. this chemistry and then you sort of get.

punished for it on the flip side and. they're like, "Oh, but not so much that. it like affects our production or like. what's going on here?" And there's. nothing you can really do about that. because it's too late. Like and you know. I feel like when I I was that young. So. like in first relationships like you. just kind of know what you don't want. You don't know what you do want. And so. you kind of like panic and and try to. like Yeah. So it was it was definitely a. tricky balance to strike. How did you.

emotionally and mentally handle a. dynamic where you still have to see. someone every day and like be cordial, but. >> Well, I mean, yeah, we just had to like. suck it up and get on with it. And there. was but there was a lot of like jabs. behind the scenes and off camera and. kind of like you know um yeah I felt I. felt like that kind of ostracized me as. well because like you know there was a. market difference in like um maturity. level there and so like [snorts] it it.

was um yeah I don't know what to say. about it. We got through it. A lot of. jokes, a lot of like, you know, I really. loved our crew and I did feel that they. were really there for us and that it was. like a family and that part was. positive. And like I remember Rachel was. saying to me recently like she looks. back at the scene where we're all. playing like chicken in the pool and. stuff and it's like those were genuinely. happy moments where we could forget. about like all the pressure that was on. us and like and it was really hard.

because you know you would be out. getting photographed with different. people and like I did start dating and. then you know you try not to bring that. on set when people are you know you just. try to let it go at the door and kind of. get on with it and Keep working. >> Support for Caller Daddy comes from. Google Pixel. All right, Daddy gang. Let. me set the scene. You are on a girls. trip. Everyone's dressed up. It's the. perfect golden hour lighting. And.

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didn't know I needed. So yeah, get. outside of your comfort phone and try. the Google Pixel 10 Pro. Check it out at. googletore.com. Camera Coach. Results may vary. >> Did you end the relationship? >> Yeah, I mean I Yeah, I drew I think you. know like one of those things you're so. young and you realize like I'm not ready. for this. Like I have no idea what I'm. doing. >> Yeah, >> it's overwhelming. >> Yeah, overwhelming and just like too. close to home. like you can't that it.

would be a very very tricky thing to. keep going on set and I think you know. Adam and Rachel like we all kind of. experienced that in some form or another. but again I just felt like. >> not mature enough like younger than them. in that sense I'd not dated before and I. was not aware of and I think he was like. really angry with me to begin with and. like kind of like and I felt the. punishment of that like I felt that from. the producers as well that they were not. um like happy about that. But like.

that's where the che like there was such. great chemistry between the characters. and I think like people did fall in love. with them because there was like genuine. friendship and love there on some level. You know, >> such a good point. Like I remember when. I was I had Rachel on my show and we. talked about her and Adam and like the. chemistry between the cast the core four. it was like overwhelming for people and. we romanticized it so much and I could. imagine you're right like ending. relationships like Adam and Rachel at. one point like it was so heightened.

>> but that sexual tension was there and it. really like it reads like even when. you're looking at the scenes on like the. ferris wheel and stuff and like you know. I think we like kind of hated each other. at that. But like there was still this like. intense kind of like tension there and. so it really worked for for the show. >> Can I ask if you lost your virginity. when you were filming DOC? Is that kind. of what. >> Yeah. Yeah. Like that's what I'm saying. Like I was just such a like I had no. idea about relationships at all or sex.

And so like it was kind of just like a. whole learning curve for me. You had. mentioned there was bullying on set in. like an interview and I'm curious if. like you can talk about that a little. bit as like being in that position like. how do you deal with that? >> There was just kind of like back talk. between people and like there was it's I. think I heard you say this at one of. your interviews. It's typical that in. these sets where like everybody that not. everybody is going to get along and even.

with like the secondary characters and. like guest stars and people who came in, you know, there are going to be clashes. there are going to people who are going. to create rumors and make stuff up and. like. >> and um. >> I think I was just very sensitive to. that. >> because I was so young and like finding. out that like maybe people were talking. about you behind your back cuz I was. particularly like sensitive to that. It. felt like high school but in the real. world and very elevated and very. magnified. So.

>> totally. >> Yeah. >> Marissa, [clears throat] the character. you played, was like the it girl. Like. she's partying. She can get all the. boys. She's got like the family drama. She's getting into trouble. I'm curious. like did you relate to anything that she. was going through? >> I found those places in her, I guess. I. mean, like I Yeah, I I started to more. and more. I think that's why they wrote. so much drama for her in there, like the. relationship with her parents and stuff. because that was the stuff that I could.

I felt that, you know, emotional turmoil. and angst in my life going on outside of. the show. And so it was easier for me to. to play into that. And so I did start, you can't help but start to relate to. your character when you're playing. somebody day in and day out. There is. this bizarre kind of like emergence of. the two. And even like my social life. outside of the show took on a very weird. turn with me dating like you know like a. typical like rich LA kid and like some.

of that kind of like and because of the. fame and the paparazzi and stuff it kind. of like all took on a weird turmoil. around so the character ended up like. that's what we played up in her as well. because I really was going through a lot. of growing pains and kind of coming into. my own and so the things I related to. most was like her her inner turmoil. >> You leave at the end of season 3. It. still to this day is like one of I feel. like the most heartbreaking moments on.

TV. Your character dies. How did you. decide? >> Spoiler alert. >> Okay. [laughter] By the way, if you're. watching on TikTok, turn this off. I'm. like, so Marissa dies. How did you. decide to leave the show? >> Was it your decision? >> That's complicated. you know, things had. not been going like they really needed. like a huge um cliffhanger. Something. had to give. Something had to change. And I'm like, to be really honest, like, you know, I think as Josh and Stephanie.

were writing it, they they knew they. needed something huge. And the obvious. thing was like, how much more can we. really do with Marissa? Like really, what more can she do? she's like. experienced like with drugs, her. sexuality, with like and they'd written. so many things and they were such quick. succession of arcs like that she was. kind of like a character that was. spiraling out of control and at the same. time in my life like you know I was. getting so much attention and there were.

other things going on like people trying. to write other roles for me and I would. not be released from the show. I could. not go do anything else. So, like, you. know, even like Stan Lee was writing. like a comic book character for me. Like, there was no way that they were. going to let me out to go do anything. outside of the show because that's just. how it is. You're like, and so I think. it was the obvious choice. Um, the. friction just between my team at the. time and them and like how I did seem to. be the most alienated one and a bit a.

fish out of water. Like I think that was. like it was an obvious choice and we. like I don't know. I mean, Josh and. Stephanie have their own ideas of how. they ended it, and they say that they. regret like a lot of like how it they. did handle it, but I thought it made the. most sense for her to go out with a. bang. She wasn't really a character that. I thought, you know, should just like. fade off into oblivion or like, you. know, ride off into the sunset. Like,

she had to go somewhere and I felt like. that was the right thing for her. Do you. remember the feeling of when the world. saw that scene? Like did you pay. attention to how many people were so. devastated? Were you overwhelmed? >> It was crazy. I had people crying in. airports to be like people would come up. to me on the street and be like, "Can I. hug you?" Like I mean people wanted to. like physically touch me. They was just. very like concerned about what had. happened with the character. >> because they're like you're alive. >> Really upset people and especially upset. young girls and rightfully so. I mean it.

should like you know she had taken it. too far and like but all the best. characters do and like all the best. characters kind of like. >> you know have some huge tragedy. Hers is. a bit final but just a bit. Um when you. went on the OC Rewatch podcast with the. girls I remember watching you like you. looked upset when you were watching that. final scene. You were like oh my god. >> Well I haven't watched it maybe ever. actually. Is there a reason?

>> Well, I never sat down and watched the. show as it was airing. It was not. something so like a lot of it I hadn't. seen and that one in particular I hadn't. seen it since we shot it and I forgot so. much about it. like the fact that. there's no music there is a really a. choice because the show was so. musicdriven and that whole thing is just. kind of like silent and then you know. the flames in the car like I didn't. remember it being quite that dramatic.

the way the car is actually on fire and. like. >> oh girl it was dramatic you had me in. tears and then allelujah starts playing. and then you're like. >> but um when you watched it and you were. like okay let's turn this off it's going. to get emotional like did what Did it. bring up for you seeing that scene? Because it felt like you were like. upset. >> We were upset on set that day. A lot of. the crew were really sorry to see me go. and they were pretty upset and it was a. lot of goodbyes and like you know. putting on a brave face about the whole.

thing, but basically like I mean I would. always make make light of everything and. we were like more blood, more drama like. you know and but it was um it was a sad. time because we were we were sorry to. leave each other you know. They really. were like a family to me. A lot of the. guys and, you know, the heads of. department on that show were really. there for me. >> through tough times, you know. >> How would you describe that time of your. life? Like after the OC? >> It was an intense time. I It was cuz I. think the thing that um I hadn't really.

wrapped my head around was like the. amount of worldwide fame that show. actually got. And so there wasn't. anywhere to really hide. And I think. what overwhelmed me was like I was doing. all these campaigns and like there were. times when I only had a few days off in. the year. There was a lot of friction at. home. There was like really no place for. me to go that felt calm and there was. just a lot of pressure being put on me. by um by people who expected the most.

out of me constantly. And so like I. never really like there were some years. there where like there was only like. maybe two days off in the year like and. I didn't so I and like what really got. me would be going to somewhere like. Australia or the wherever you would. think would be like the middle of. nowhere to like and then still having. you know pictures surface of you and. like you I just it felt like I could. never really get away from anything and. I had no privacy. The paparazzi were.

absolutely obsessed with you. It was. like insane. Can you talk about some of. like the like details of like the way. that they would try to get to you to. like really embody what you were going. through? It was dangerous most of the. time and also just extremely invasive. I. mean, the lengths that they would go to. to like tap phones and conversations and. like find out where you were going and. track your car and stuff. I mean, the. lengths they went to were were pretty.

absurd. >> I like think I read somewhere you said. something like they would like give. homeless people phones. >> No, they really did. They would give. people like in the Malibu like Country. Mart and stuff and people on Rodeo, they. would give like random people like. phones and they would say like if you. ever see a celebrity show up, I'm the. first person you should call. like I'll. give you 50 bucks, hundred bucks, whatever it is if you tip me off that. you see like Misha or Nicole or any of. these girls coming down here to like go. shopping or go to lunch. That way they.

wouldn't have to like sit there all day. and wait themselves in the car. >> Lazy [ __ ] [laughter]. Like lazy piece of [ __ ] Okay. You. couldn't just wait there yourself. I. mean that's just insane. And you're. right, like it was a different time. And. I think maybe with social media now like. there's just more access so it's less. intense. you can't get away with the. same level of invasion of privacy. And. you're right, like it's better. I think. people have lived and learned like the. nice thing about social media is like. and the way it is now, you can give.

access to what you want to give access. to. And so if you share more, then. there's less of this kind of insane wall. to try to get behind. So they're not. literally scaling the walls to. celebrities homes anymore because you're. in there like posting about your life. and you're sharing more about your. personal life and so it doesn't have. that kind of in intense the stakes. aren't so high. >> You I think had said at one point you're. some someone on your team around you. started to give you like prescription.

drugs. When did that start happening and. like how did how did that happen? >> It was happening even towards the end of. the OC. Call Her Daddy is brought to you. by Airbnb. So, no one tells you as a kid that you. need to literally cherish your family. vacations. Back then, it's just it's. another trip and you all pack into the. car and you argue over the music and who. gets to sit where and you honestly yell. about like, "What did I forget to pack. and what's going on?" It's chaos. But. now that we're all adults with jobs and.

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like it was put into the contract that I. had to have a sober coach with me and so. then like I was being watched 24/7 but. like it was still very popular in those. days like to still be prescribing like. Xanax and things for like you know like. whatever like if you were under a lot of. duress or stress they'd be like this is. what you need to do to like kind of get. through it and it was just um being. constantly told what to do by people. every second and micromanaged in in.

every single way. And I think that that. just became I don't think it did become. overwhelming for me and it wasn't like. there never really was a proper break. There was never really a moment. And. like I remember coming back home like. they were very concerned. Like I walked. into my house and there was like you. know like 10 guys in suits all sitting. around like talking to my I was like. what is this? And they were like well. you have to go do a project in like two. weeks like are you going to be ready? So.

it just kind of all started compounding. Like you're saying the men in suits were. there to like. >> it was just people from like all over. like the agency like producers like like. people really wanted to know that I was. going to be performing and and doing. like the schedule that they expected me. to stick to and and like I mean I don't. think that would even like I don't think. you could really do that with actors. now. Now, if you say to somebody like, "I'm I'm not doing well," or like there.

are like trigger words that you can like. where they're like, "Okay, well, we have. to leave this person alone." Like, "She. needs like a few days off or she needs. some time to herself." Like, that wasn't. the case then. And I've listened to. other actors talk about that, too, where. they were kind of like, >> I mean, it's a big deal when you're. helming a whole show and everybody's. jobs are relying on you and and. situations like that. So. >> that's an interesting point like mental. health-wise like no one was having. conversations the way that they were.

now. So like cuz all I'm thinking about. is anyone like asking you like Misha are. you okay? Like do you need a break? And. instead everyone's like how are we going. to get you out the door the next day? Like take this pill like everybody's. here like we need to you're making us. all money so let's go out the door. That's a lot of responsibility and a lot. of weight to put on a young girl that's. been doing this for so long. like the. beginning of this interview I'm like. you're 10 when you get your first movie. um your mom your relationship with your. mother at one point you did fire her as.

your manager like what was the dynamic. that led to that and then how did you. get back to a relationship. >> it just wasn't healthy and I mean it's. still like you know I've just in my life. I've really learned to prioritize like. my chosen family and like the people who. have really actually been there for me I. don't rely on um like any one particular. family member anymore. Like I've learned. that for my own happiness and like those.

relationships I think in life to be. honest are the most toxic because you. feel like you can say or do whatever you. want to somebody because you're related. And I've found that those have been the. hardest for me um to really understand. So, I mean, I'm completely independent. now and I do everything for me and you. know, like it's led to my like sobriety. and happiness and like I've had to watch.

other people crumble and it's been hard. to watch, but like you know, I I'm just. grateful that I've been able to kind of. find the the people in my life who have. been there for me consistently and. consistently shown up for me. And so. like that's led to where I am now which. is like healthy and sober and happy and. like you know but unfortunately I've had. to lose a lot of family members along. the way and so like you know there are. people in this industry who understand.

that there are a lot of people it's it's. unfortunate but it's sometimes like the. reality. >> of the world is that. >> I think it's a good point though and I. think I've talked about that on my show. before like family the word family is so. just by the way that you define it like. it doesn't have to be blood and you can. make your own family and like the family. that you're born into it doesn't mean. that it doesn't mean anything. It's like. if you're not getting treated correctly, like then you need to adjust your. relationships and you need to. re-evaluate. And just because it's blood. doesn't mean like you have to stay and.

you have to of course we're going to. fight for things to a certain degree, but when it's so unhealthy. >> Um, seeing things online of like. potentially family members like stealing. money from you, like how do you get to a. place where you can like be in. relationships moving forward and like. trust people from previous things that. have been like so heartbreaking and. happening to you? >> Yeah, it it there has been a lot of. heartbreak. Um I think that like for me.

the thing that's is like I have to like. really concentrate on myself because. it's sounds cliche but like you know. unless you love yourself and love you. and like can spend the time with you. you're the person you have to answer to. you know and like nobody else and I've. had other people I've been yeah stolen. from and lied to in so many different. ways over the course of you know the. last 10 15 years especially and like. it's only in the last like two three.

years even maybe that I feel like I have. really taken responsibility for it and. for myself and like been like you know. what the only thing that I can do is. just be happy healthy and sober and. working out and like that's the only. thing that's really going to like make. make my life worth living cuz I had. given up for a while there like I very I. just felt so. I don't know I don't know it makes me.

emotional because I felt really alone. Yeah. So I mean yeah it really has been. just like cutting people out of my life. truly. Thank you for sharing that. because I can imagine it's so hard when. I'm like you're talking about your. family and you're talking about. literally getting stolen from. You're. like how do you like that's something. that is like you couldn't feel more how.

could you feel not alone? Like the. people that you usually would turn to to. be like. >> Yeah. I mean, I think that, you know, I. have to believe that in life, everybody. does things thinking they're doing it. for the right reason and maybe like with. good intentions, but sometimes like. there isn't always good intentions and. sometimes you can't really explain why. people do what they do. And yeah, that's. a it's a tricky one. And I think, you. know, in family especially, it's a. tricky one. and you can just like.

minimize your contact with those kinds. of people and moving forward be careful. about cuz I can tend to be a very open. and trusting and kind of naive person. for a long time there and I you know I. had it happen kind of repeatedly to me. in both like relationships as well. people using me and so I realized ized. that um yeah I don't know I mean like.

maybe I wasn't the best judge of. character for a while there and to stop. making excuses for other people because. I think for a long time I was making. excuses because you don't want to. believe that somebody would like you. know. >> of course I'm curious Misha like when. you were alone in those moments like. how did you keep going because I'm. trying to put myself in your shoes of. like knowing the closest people to you. are kind of like just completely.

abandoning you. There's no trust. You're. getting stolen from. Like, how did you. keep even going? >> I mean, a lot of therapy and a lot of. just like cutting people out and working. on myself and like strength comes at the. darkest times, you know? I mean, I've. found my strength. And when I was. younger, like I didn't think I was I. thought I was going to like be dead by. 27. I was going to be part of that 27. club. It was like it was like live young. and fast and like you know I was like I. I really didn't give a [ __ ] I was.

reckless. I was over it. I didn't really. um you know want to be doing stuff for. other people anymore. I didn't want to. be like you know the person that. everybody needed to be making the money. and doing the this and the that. And. then like you know I think when I got to. my 30s and I was like [ __ ] I'm still. here. I'm still going and I'm stronger. than I was then, you know, and I've been. through so much and these experiences. haven't killed me and they've made me so. much stronger and I've been to court.

I've fought for my rights. I've fought. for my freedoms and I've, you know, like. when you get past that and out on the. other side, then your whole perspective. on on life and everything changes. because you're like, I am strong, >> right? I'm I'm strong. And I used to get. so upset with people because they'd be. like, you're the strongest person I. know. And that really felt like an. insult after a while because it just. felt like, well, why why do all these. things keep happening to me? But it's. true. I mean, you really do um when the.

chips are down, find that strength in. yourself, you know? >> Yeah. I mean, I'm so sorry because I. can't imagine like being at a place. where you are almost like aware that the. end could be near for yourself because. of what's happening in your life. Like I. >> well I romanticized all of that kind of. like rock and roll just like you know I. was just like I I had kind of made up my. mind that it wasn't going to like yeah. that there was no real kind of longevity.

in it for me that I just didn't want to. I didn't care to like keep going. And. then yeah, like I said, I think just I. can't stand injustices in life and like. I really can't stand when people do take. advantage of people. And I think that's. where the strength is really came from. is just like. >> you know what, like I'm not going to. take this and like yeah, [ __ ] that. Like. I'm not going to. >> sit by and uh. >> and watch these people do that. talking.

about that time in your life where like. it was kind of like I was romanticizing. it. It was like [ __ ] this. Like so in. 2007 you were arrested for a DUI and a. few years later you were held in a. psychiatric hospital behind closed. doors. Like what was happening with you. at that point? >> Well the DUI I mean I don't really know. what to say about that. That was just it. was what it was. It was like it was a. straight up like we were out one night. and yeah, that was it was stupid. Got a.

DUI. The psychiatric stuff like that was. just like having a full-blown breakdown. and like I mean that time it was really. I was um I I was drugged. Somebody had. slipped me roofies and I was it was GHB. and I'm lucky to be alive. Like I mean I. just happened to be like I overdosed and. so there was so many things that other. people did to me that felt like so. aggressively. like wrong and you know I don't think. that I realized how dangerous that Sidi.

side of LA can be and like I had been. kind of really protected and sheltered. for a long time and when I kind of got. out there in the like you know and I was. like I want to live my life I want to be. a normal person whatever that means and. like go to like go to these parties, go. do this stuff, and then it's like, you. know, you end up in a situation like. that. It's so yeah, I mean, you really. do, you live and you learn. And um that. was uh yeah, that was I mean, it was I.

just had a fullblown breakdown from. that. >> When I heard you say like it was so. annoying hearing people say like, "You're so strong. You're so strong.". You're like, "But why does this all have. to keep [ __ ] happening to me?". >> It was just hard people saying that. I. mean like you know even like my. boyfriends and all my friends around me. would constantly say that but I didn't. feel as strong as I think I was coming. across you know I do have this like kind. of like British thing of like suck it up. just move on like kind of don't show.

your feelings like just kind of try to. keep like a good exterior to you know. it's only in the last few years that I. really feel that like from the inside. out. >> for a long time I didn't really feel. that strength to the degree that I do. now. >> I was thinking about like of all the. when you're saying, you know, like. people basically taking advantage of you. in 2017, one of your ex-boyfriends you. found out had filmed you when you were.

having sex and was going and trying to. shop the sex tape. >> Yeah. >> Can you take me back to the moment where. you realized that even like existed and. what you were going through? >> It was a disaster. It was an absolute. [ __ ] nightmare. But I mean, yeah, I. don't like to go back there. But I will. tell you, I mean, it was. it Yeah, shady. Don't boys who live. together in a house. Probably red flag. [laughter] Too many computers. Red flag. [snorts]. I mean, like the whole thing was just.

like in hindsight, red flags everywhere. But like I mean in the bathroom, in the. living room, like the whole like just. constant. So yeah, it was bad. >> No idea. >> No idea. Absolutely no idea. Somebody. actually showed it to me and I was like. one of his friends came to me and warned. me and I didn't think it was possible. that some of that was real. And it was. I mean, and apparently he was even. caught saying to somebody like he knew. that um Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton.

and all these people had had sex tapes. and that like I was one of the only um. girls who wouldn't like and I mean if. you know me, I'm like quite I'm very. private and really prudish when it comes. to like sexual relationships and what I. share. And so that was just like I mean. I thought my world was ending. It was. literally like the worst thing that. anybody could do to me. I mean, forget. all the like other things that people. have done to me. That for me was like,

"No, I I I cannot go on if this person. manages to do this to me." And so, like, I was at a friend's house in the. Hollywood Hills, I remember, and she. woke me up and she was like, "Oh my god, there's a rumor going around that um. that there is like footage." And I was. like, "Of what? like what can it. possibly be? I that was a whole crazy. experience. I became my own detective. and I went and um went to the LAPD and I.

was constantly contacting like the sex. crimes like I did my own surveillance of. him and his friends found him like Yeah. So I I had to turn into like a. full-blown vigilante there for a minute. >> And did you. >> glad I did? >> Abs fuckingutely. when you found also. out like did you have a conversation. with him? Did you not speak to him. again? >> God, no. No. I mean like he disappeared. He up like I mean the it was already. over the like it was just a like a two.

week thing and it was so he'd already. gotten what he wanted. He was long gone. I had to like track him and his friends. down. And I mean, yeah, it was like a. nightmare get like going into court, getting all these restraining orders, constantly showing up for over a year, like a year and a half, over a long. period of time. And if I hadn't had the. support I'd had from lawyers and from. [snorts] other women who were more aware. of it, and there was no real laws at the.

time, like the LAPD were like, "Oh, we. deal with stuff like, yeah, we have we. we know this stuff goes on." But I'll. never forget walking into the police. station and like giving them the address. of the house where I thought most of it. happened and they brought it up on the. and the cop turns the computer around. and he goes, "Is that him?" And he was. actually there on Google Maps in front. of the apartment building with his dog. And I was like, I mean, like when I say. the detective in me like came out,

>> you have no idea. >> You're like, let's go get this. [ __ ]. >> You have no idea. >> So, did you date this guy for two weeks? >> Yeah. It was just like a like two week. fling. >> Shocking what goes through people's. minds like where they see opportunity, isn't it? >> It's just so sick how how it happens. any woman listening like if they are. going through this like it is not your. fault. It is illegal and it's a crime. I'm curious when of everything like. that's just. >> you've been through in your life. >> Are you resentful at all?

>> No. No. I mean there are people that I. look back on and I'm like, you know, I've definitely can't stand them. I'm. glad that they're not in my life. anymore. And um I blame them for some of. the things that kind of went on around. that time period. But no, I mean I don't. think you can be resentful in life. I. think I still have I like to think like. a great sense of humor about things and. like to be I keep things very.

light-hearted and I keep my chosen. family very close and um. and the family that I do choose to speak. to very close and like you can't be. resentful in life. You may as it's all. over if you're going to get like that, you know, you may as well be dead. Like. what's the point? You can't sit around. and hate people for the things that. happen. You have to learn and grow. >> and mature from those situations and. like evolve, you know? I mean, life is.

one big. >> like. >> learning curve and and story. And so. like, you know, you're just all you can. do is like learn and grow. And I'm. actually very grateful for that, you. know, in the bigger picture. Like it's. made me. >> Yeah. >> It's definitely made me who I am today. If you could say something to yourself. when you were at that point where you. had the mentality of like, "Fuck it, I'll be in the 27 club." Like, what do. you wish you could say to Misha now? >> Um, you're going to be here 10 years.

later sitting on a couch talking to Alex. Cooper about [laughter] it. So, get your. [ __ ] together now. >> That you're going to be alive and. thriving and happy and healthy and it's. all going to come together. >> because you don't see it at the time. when you're in it. you just feel so. overwhelmed, you know, and depression is. real. And it takes like a while for like. the serotonin and the like happiness to. like level out and for you to come back. from these situations and it's not like.

an overnight like but then like. strangely one day it will be kind of. like a switch gets flicked and you feel. weird. It is weird. It's like you look. back when you're talking about it like I. have moments in my life too where I was. like going through something or whatever. and then one day you're just like making. coffee or you're and you're like. >> oh my god it all. >> I'm not that person at all anymore. I. don't know because when I was in it I. didn't see like I couldn't barely even. see a pinpoint of a light at the end of. the tunnel and now here I am and it's.

like. >> I'm not even in the tunnel. >> You're not [ __ ] The tunnel is nowhere. to be found. Okay. It gone. It's so. [laughter] gone. It's gone. Um, are you. dating? Are you in a relationship? Are. you single? Call Her Daddy is brought to. you by Old Navy. From everyday active. wear to cozy sweaters, Old Navies got. presents at perfect prices for everyone. on your list, including yourself, sweetheart. Okay, I always say I am. going to be that person who gets my. holiday shopping done early. I make.

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It's great. I mean, I don't have to. answer to any. I just like I feel very. like, you know, like happy and sober and. like clear and like I can be healthy and. cuz I will fall into like it'll all. happen when I fall in love again. Like I. fall hard and fast and then I'm like, you know, kind of almost codependent. with that person. So, I hope like moving. forward if I want anything from my. relationships, it's that they aren't so. intense. Like.

>> I do feel like what I've learned though. is like that's also just we're talking. about all these different stages of your. life. And something I learned about. myself is like I had a similar. experience like I was like god these. relationships are so heavy and so. intense. And then the more I worked on. myself and the more that I became the. best version of myself and it sounds. like you're just in this place of like. clarity and you're like Pilates and yoga. and so Brian [ __ ] like you're you are. those vibes. guys don't feel like they. can control you like that. Yeah,

exactly. Cuz you are you without even. knowing it, you are giving off vibes. that you need to be babyed or you need. to be taken care of in some way. I think. and like totally even though you feel. like you're acting so independent but. like yeah it's different like you will. attract someone completely different in. this new stage of your life just because. you're you also see yourself. differently. I mean, even think about. what you were feeling about yourself. before 27 and then now you're like, "Oh. my god, these are different people.". Like. >> I mean, yeah, that person never would.

have considered settling down, never. would have considered marriage, kids, anything. Like none of that would have. even been like that have been like, "Oh, hell no." But, you know, yeah, things. things change. >> So, you said you kind of would consider. yourself like are you a romantic? Yeah. Valentine's Day. Misha brought me. literally a nice little teddy bear and a. little rose. you're engaged. And I was. like, "Oh, you have to spend Valentine. It's a" And I hate that word, Valentine's. But I was like, "Okay, so. it's such an annoying word, isn't it?".

But anyway, um I was like, "If we're. doing Valentine's Day, you need a teddy. bear and a. >> Let me be so clear. I cannot explain to. you how happy I am that I'm spending. Valentine's Day with you.". >> Like truly, this episode I already know. is one going to help so many women and. two, like, >> we're Misha fans over here, okay? we. [ __ ] love you. Um, if you do start. dating again, what is your approach to. dating and what are you looking for? >> Oh man, I don't know. Like I think I.

again with that I went through phases. where like I really wanted to date. musicians and like be on tour and like. you know like. >> Yeah, exactly. Like those those days are. over. That's not attractive to me. anymore. I don't want to be with like. the guy in a band and I don't like I. mean never say never but it's not really. my thing and I've kind of you know I've. I've moved on from all of that stuff and. I've matured and. >> So you had a type. >> I mean I did date a lot of like kind of.

band guys. I don't think I have a type. per se but. >> what was it about the band guy that you. were loving? Like what was going on? >> I don't know. I was just young and. thought that was cool to be on tour with. like the Cold War kids or Rooney and. stuff like you know like I thought I was. like having a blast. I was in my 20s. I. don't know. >> Like it was Wait, I forgot and Rooney. was on the show. >> Mhm. We had so many cool bands on the. show. It was a great way to meet with. everything. >> Okay. So, you liked the band boys, but.

now maybe we're like veering away. >> Yes. No, we have veered away. Um I'm I. like people who are driven and have. their own stuff going on. It's. incredibly important considering how. like independent and driven I've always. had to be in my life and am in my life. Like I need and that and a sense of. humor are the two main things. >> What is a non-negotiable for you? >> Like if you don't have a sense of humor. and you can't make me laugh. Like if. you're not funny then it's like no. that's not going to work probably.

>> right. Like I need to be cracking up. >> Yeah. I I I need somebody who feels like. a best friend. Mhm. So, because I think. also if you could talk about because I. as we wind down like I have a lot of I. just sounded like my [ __ ] therapist. you guys. My therapist at like the 50. minute mark is like as we wind down I'm. like oh [ __ ] that's your way of telling. me like it's [laughter] over like you're. going to hang up on me. Um, but as we. wind down, um, I'm curious like of what. of all the themes we did talk about with. men, like how have you, whether it's in.

therapy or just on your own journey, like how have you tried to rebuild. trust? Because I feel like there's so. many women that write into me of like, I. just feel like I've been so [ __ ]. wronged by men and sorry to all the men. in the room, but like it's hard to not. hate them because of the bad. interactions you've had with them. Like, do you have any advice for women that. have gone through? >> I've definitely become more of a girl. over the years, that's for sure. Um, but. what in relationships like how to like. not get. >> Yeah. I mean, you have to you just have.

to I mean you just have to keep your. wits about you, but like you can't go. around with like we said like resenting. or having a chip on your shoulder and. being like that because also you won't. attract like the right people in that in. that phase either. So that's a good. point. >> I love I think you know everybody needs. to keep an open mind. So there are good. people out there even though this. episode [laughter]. >> addressed a lot of you all suck. >> a lot of not so good people but no there.

are you're right and it's like I think. it's it's important to have. conversations with like this of like the. bad can be really [ __ ] bad and really. [ __ ] dark but if you keep pushing. through it like you said like you wish. you could tell yourself then like no. [ __ ] you are going to make it past 27. and it is going to get better and you. you are so strong but you shouldn't have. had to be that strong, but the reason. you're still here is because you're so. strong. And like, keep fighting to. people listening that are going through. it. Like, >> there's a reason to keep fighting. Cuz. it actually most of the time always does.

get [ __ ] better. >> It does. >> What do you think is the biggest. misconception about you? >> Oh, I don't know. I I think like. honestly a lot of people think that I am. Marissa Cooper. Like I think a lot of. people think I'm going to be a really. stuckup [ __ ] Like I do I get that vibe. like that. People think like, "Oh, I've. dated these guys and that like I'm going. to be I I do think that that's a. horrible like it kind of comes with the. territory of when people meet me,

they're always like, "Oh, you're so much. prettier in person and you're so much. nicer than I thought you were going to. be." And I'm like, "Wow, okay. I don't. think I want to know what you thought.". But like I think that seems to have been. like the lasting stigma around things. I. think it's the whole thing we were. talking about of like, you know, like. the story lines of Marissa and like. Misha at the time kind of. [clears throat] crossing and people just. like equating the two with each other. I. think that's been kind of a toxic kind.

of lasting. >> like that some people have stuck in. their heads. >> Yeah. Does that make you at all like. resent the character? >> No. I I still love Marissa as a. character. I think she's a badass [ __ ]. and I think like she was a great. character. I just think um you know like. people are not the roles they play and. like actors are like you know you Yeah. >> Yes. Give give. >> actors are not the roles they play. period. God bless everyone online you. get that Tik Tok. Okay. Um what do you.

hope people take away from this. interview? hopefully like for me girl. girl strength and power because I think. talking about these things and like you. know if you can talk about your dark. times and your depression or anything. that you've been through and like for me. like I said I was walking around the. city with my headphones and listening to. your interviews and I I do find them. really interesting and I think it's. important that you can listen to other. women's perspectives and what they've. been through and if you're having a bad. day it's probably hopefully it's not as. bad as Misha's worst day [laughter].

you're like [ __ ] hopefully this really. brings me up. >> This will brighten you. >> But you're right. It's like sometimes. when you're really everyone goes through. it where you're feeling so alone and it. there is something really nice when. especially people you look up to that. you know online are like oh I have been. through it. It it can give that person. sitting in their room whether it's a. good or bad day to be like damn I'm so. not alone in the it's all the same. themes. It's all we all have ties to. each other. It's just we experience it. or feel it differently. But um no, I.

really appreciate you opening up today. cuz I know you don't do a lot of this. kind of stuff. But I think in the right. environment like it it was such a. >> Well, I wanted to talk to you cuz I. think you're cool. I get good vibes from. you. And when I was when I first spoke. to you, I was like out of everybody that. I could talk to like Yeah, it's true. I. turn down all the podcasts and stuff, but it's been fun talking to you. >> Thank you. I really appreciate that. Last question. Yes. >> What can fans expect from you next? What. are you up to in your life? just like.

give us the tea. >> Oh, you know what's fun is well I was. working quite a bit last year which was. which was fun and so I was traveling a. lot and then so I was working in. Australia and now I think I'm going to. be doing a romcom later this year in. Australia which is a really new. territory for me. >> So she's a really fun character. Yeah, I. know it's not the kind of role, but. she's got this kind of like great sense. of humor to her, the character and. stuff, and I just think it's such a. beautiful backdrop to to film in. And um.

yeah, I really I feel I feel this. character. So, >> I'm freaking out. >> that. And um yeah, I did a little movie. in Ireland last year, which was really. fun for me because I got to be back near. my Irish roots and so. >> yeah, just uh. >> you in a romcom. >> I [laughter] know, >> Misha. I'm like, I'm already gagged. >> I love this one because it's like a. modernday like real take on um you know, she's got a great sense of humor and. she's really grounded and like the.

supporting like he's got a brother in it. and she's got her sister. So, those. dynamics also come into play a lot. So, I think um it's a great script and yeah, >> let me just say this. the Daddy Gang, my. fans and I will be sat ready to watch. with our popcorn, ready to support our. >> coming back too. Like I mean, yeah, it's. a fun genre. We don't always want to be. in like, you know, running scared and. doing these dramatic roles like. >> right in like our emo days. Like we want. sometimes we want to like little laugh. with our popcorn. Misha, I cannot thank.

you enough for coming on, for trusting. me with this conversation and like truly. it has been such a pleasure to get to. know you more and I feel like I mean I. know there's so much more to you, but I. appreciate you sitting down with me. because this was really one of my faves. So, thank you and thank you. Thank you. Thank you for coming and taking time out. of your busy life. >> No, thanks. I'm glad we got to meet up. here in New York. Woo! [music].