Mariska Hargitay: Love, Loss and Law & Order (Full Episode)

What is up, Daddy Gang? It is your. founding father, Alex Cooper, with Call. Her Daddy. Mariska Hargitay, welcome to Call Her. Daddy. Thank you. I'm so excited to be here. You don't even know. Okay, you just. walked in here saying everyone's so. excited for you to come on. Everyone is texting me saying you should. be on it. I said, "Sweetheart, that's. why I'm here.". Okay, everyone in my life I feel like a. lot of my friends and family have gotten. used to my job by now. When they found.

out you were coming on, everyone's being a little nicer to me. this week. Everyone's like, "Do you. think you could get a selfie?" I'm like, "Leave me alone." You have literally put. me into a different stratosphere of. cool. giving you street cred? Without a doubt. I've never been cooler in my life. Everyone's like, "Holy [ __ ] you got. her." I'm like, "I got her.". Guess what? What? I. now I'm cool with the kids. Okay, cool. I'm cool with the kids. Yeah, we're both giving each other a. little street cred. I like it. What are you up to this. summer? Like, are you Do you have plans?

Are you working? What's your life going. to be like? first of all, I'm here. Today's a very. exciting day because my trailer dropped. for my film. Congratulations. Thank you. So, today I'm sort of buzzy. and so exciting. and it feels um newly real to me, right? When the trailer drops and the poster's. out. So, I'm here doing that. Um I'm. getting ready for my Tribeca premiere on. the 13th. You're going to be at Tribeca, too? Yes. Wait, I'm going to be at Tribeca. I told you. We need our own shows. We're.

just warming up. Sweetie. Lovey. Honey. Sweet cheeks. Oh my god. Babe. Honey pie. Holy [ __ ]. Pumpkin. Oh my god. Congratulations. I know, isn't it weird? a documentary about you and you're 12. No. And I'm so proud of you. You know what you are? You're the young. Olivia Benson. You are so badass. I am obsessed with you. No, but seriously. No, it's so But isn't. it scary? It's a little scary. Oh, it's a lot scary. Right? But, can I tell you something?

Yeah. Being vulnerable and putting yourself. out there, that's the most badass thing you can do. It is. And it's the truth. But, I'm curious for you with this. documentary. Obviously, you get into. your childhood, which I love to talk. about on Call Her Daddy. Is it weird for. you to have been playing Olivia Benson. for so many years and now you're about. to be on screen as yourself? No. No. No, because I feel like and this is. something I've thought about a lot.

Yeah. I feel that I have been preparing for. this. moment, for this project. my entire life. It took me 2 years to make this movie. I. started 2 years ago in June. I did the. first interview. I think It was the end of May or June. I. can't remember exactly the date right. now, but I decided to do it in the. pandemic. During COVID. And once I decided. you know, it was off to the races. And.

so, for me, I mean, it's such a loaded. question, right? Because, yes, I play. Olivia Benson on TV. And I ask people to come forward to tell. their stories. So, I wanted to do what I preach and to. come forward and tell my story. And I. believe that telling our story and being. vulnerable is the thing that makes us. the most. authentic, the most badass, the most. human. And it only brings people toward.

us because it levels the playing field. of our humanity. That makes me feel. really good because I feel like with a. documentary, it is so vulnerable. And you are prepared, obviously. Like, but a documentary is a piece of work, so. you're ready for the critics, but you're. also like, this is my life, go easy on. me. And so, it's a little It's weird. I feel like. this is this is my life. This is my. story. Everyone is. obviously a welcome to have their. reaction and their opinion and to sort.

of metabolize it and assimilate it in. their own way, but I find that there's. such. universality. in the specific, right? So you're. telling your story and is it about how. you got here and the sort of genesis of. Yes, it's just I had a big part of my. the end of my first episode I talk about. the sexual harassment I endured from my. college soccer coach. Ugh. And I had never really talked about. it and I felt guilty because a part of.

me was like I I'm similar in that way. where I'm like I'm having people sit in. this chair and tell me their stories. Why have I been holding on to this for. so long? And so I kind of go through the. process of. telling it in a way that it was nice to. have a director do it for me. I know you. directed your piece, but for me I almost. needed someone to take it from me a. little bit cuz I was like I'm going to I. I don't even know how to say this. Just. interview me and I'll tell you what. happened to me. So it was very freeing. Um but you. beautiful and so brave and you know.

what? Don't ever question why, seriously, why you didn't tell your. story because you tell your story when. you're ready and not a moment before and. I tell that to everyone. And I I mean you know I disclosed my. story of abuse and and and I told it. when I was ready. So I don't you don't I. don't fault anyone. They need to come. forward when they are ready and they. have the infrastructure and they have. the scaffolding. and the support after to be able to.

integrate into the world and so I just. think it's amazing that you're doing. that and so young. Thank you. No, and. I think I could be your mom like three. times over. I'm going to be 87 on Friday. You're get. out of here. You're perfect in your. Chanel. Shut up. Um, can we talk about. this documentary though? It It really. focuses obviously on your mom, who you. lost when you were three. Yes. What was it like revisiting this. time in your life?

It was so many things, and I allowed it. to be so many things. And, you know, it. was like a archaeological dig for me. It. was like the ultimate detective work, right? And I didn't know what I was. going to find, but my It was just such a. a beautiful journey, a painful journey, a bumpy ride. It was E, all of the. above. It was so many things. Okay, my. I'm wondering though, you're 3 years old.

when you lose your mom. Did you have any. memories at all of her? I have a couple. of memories that. I don't know if they're memories or. they're photographs or they're something. that I wish happened or. a fragment of a memory. And I I don't know, but it's been a life. of trying to. um. re- of longing for her and trying to,

you know, reconstruct. connection, which was um. so painful for me. You know, I I say in the movie, losing. my mother felt like um having a. a hole in your heart. That's what it. felt like to me. And. And so, it's been a life of. navigating that and trying to figure out.

how to do it. So, this movie, being. ready to make this movie and go on this, you know, expedition and go on this. journey of finding her has been. one of, you know, besides my husband and. children and SVU has been one of the. most rewarding. um profound. experiences of my life. And because there was so much archival. footage on my mom,

it was the gift that just kept on. giving. It was just it kept on giving. It was. magnificent. When you just said that though, it made. me think I feel like a lot of people we. have these memories from childhood that. either come back up or are so specific. and then you do start to as you get. older be like, "Did that [ __ ]. happen?" Like what? And do you have any. advice for people going through that? Like have you just leaned in and. accepted that maybe they're not real, maybe they are, but they're what I.

remember, so I'm going to live in them. or are you Is it unsettling to not know. if it's real? It's not unsettling. And I. think that was part of the journey of of. making the film is that. I missed my mother. What's true about memories. doesn't really matter. What matters is I. missed her and I love her and we are. forever connected and I'm finding new.

sort of avenues of connection. as I live forward. And I remember, you. know, one of the things was when your. mom dies when you're so young, um you. know, in pre-verbal really, it's. hard to remember anything and you. certainly can't express what you felt, right? Because it was pre-verbal and. that goes with That goes for my trauma. as well about living through the. accident of of her dying. And I remember. when I got a um my star in 2011 on on.

the Hollywood Walk of Fame, and I remember thinking like, oh, you. know, it's nice, it's a thing that. people do. Oh, yeah, it's nice. I didn't really know how to. uh take it in, I guess, and I thought. like, "Oh, yeah." I mean, I kind of. dismissed it. I'll be honest with you. And then I got through that day, and when I saw my star. on the ground next to her star, I was so overcome with emotion.

And somehow in that moment. of seeing her, this visual of these two. stars with her name on it and my name on. it, was one of the most. emotionally connected. moments that I've ever had with her. And. I'll tell you this, it took me by. surprise. To be connected with her in the stars. because it was on such a.

uh primal level, and it was in my cells, it was in my cellular DNA. And I was so Again, I was so surprised. by it, but I just took it as a gift. So, there's been these moments and during. the making of this film and on this. journey, I've had so many moments where. I got to see. our similarity or. what I came from and what I. admire and revere and respect or the. things about her that I'm in awe of, and.

the things about her that. that are so similar to how I am. So, in. that way, it has been this gift. It's beautiful. It's so It's so magnificent. And it's beautiful, too, cuz anyone. that's lost a parent or a loved one or. whoever, like, there's such pain when. you think about it, but the more you're. able to slowly allow yourself. to be open to those moments where you're. looking at the star and then you feel. connected to your mom or you're going. through this archival footage.

what you said is the truth. Is allowing. ourselves to be open. That is so exactly. right and and this kind of like broke me. open, right? Because it was a struggle. for me and there were things and. decisions that. and choices that my mother made that. were so. painful for me or I didn't understand. I. was like, why would you do that? Or. I think you could have done it a. different way and maybe me not. understanding and grokking. the time, the '50s, all that stuff. And.

now. the making of this film has. reframed. all of that for me. Even like as simple. as someone not being able to, you know, whether you're not doing a documentary, one if you have photos or you have film. or even journaling about your memories. and your experiences, anything that can. allow you to feel a little bit closer to. your memory of and and have that intact. because you don't want it to feel like. this scary void that you can't remember. this person, so then you just feel shut.

down. The more you're open to it, I feel. like you almost come back to feeling. whole and full. Completely. Your dad, your mom. after she passes, you're raised by your. dad, Mickey. And my stepmother. Yes. Can you talk to me about your. relationship with him growing up? Like. what was it like? Amazing. He was. everything to me. He was. my. mentor,

my inspiration. I revered him. I modeled. myself after him. I He made me feel safe and seen. and he was such a great parent because. he was reasonable. And what I mean by that is, you know, I. like do something wrong and then back in. my day we used to talk on the phone. That not not the cell phone, but we used. to like that's what you would do. You. talk to your boyfriend or you talk to. your friends every night on the phone.

Rotary phone. And um so, I'd do. something wrong and then he's like, "No. phone 1 month." And I would go, "Okay, Dad. Okay, you're out of control. That. feels unadjusted for um what I did and I. think you need to think about that. because it's not fair." And he would go, "Okay, fine. Do you know what you did. wrong?" "Yeah." "Okay, you can use your. phone." And it was stuff like that and. and he also raised me when I did. something wrong to go, "You know what you did." "You know what. you did.".

And then not punish me. And then I had. to sit with it. So, he really nurtured. my own sense of. uh. my conscience, my sense of. responsibility, my sense of wrong and. right. And he was just so true blue, you know, he showed up to every one of my. athletic events, you know, I was a. swimmer in high school and did cross. country and when I was, you know, middle. school, volleyball and cheerleading and, you know, all all the activities, whatever I did. And he was so supportive.

and it was like I was his life. Meanwhile, you know, working his ass off. and providing for our family and. teaching me gymnastics and the fact that. he was his mentality was that of. uh champion athlete. He. you know, was a speed skater, he played. soccer, he came to America and wanted to. be a weightlifter and a bodybuilder and. they said, um "How old are you?" He. said, "I'm 26." They said, "You're too. old to do that." And he said, "You're.

too old.". And then he went on to become Mr. Universe. And so, everything that he set. out to do, he did. So, he taught me. if there's a will, there's a way. And if. they there's one avenue uh gets shut. down or foiled, then what is plan B? So, I modeled myself and I wanted to be. like him and. I just. felt like I knew what love was because.

of his commitment to me. That's why I. found like that's why I could recognize. it in my husband. Do you know what I. mean? Well, I was going to say cuz even. someone listening to this it's like wow, what an incredible father you had and. then obviously there's this big reveal. in the documentary of like you find out. that he's not. your biological father. How did you find this out? Oh my gosh, it was so rough. So I had.

been invited to this guy named Sabin. Grey's house and he was. head of the Jayne Mansfield fan club and. he was this lovely guy and you know, just obsessed with Jane and loved her so. much and was a huge collector. of. you know, memorabilia and movie posters. and anything related to her. So he. invited to his house once and I. went over there. and then he walked me around and you.

know, it was a little overwhelming for. me because there were life-size cutouts. and it was truly like a museum or a. shrine to her and I that was hard for me. at that age to sort of. understand. I was like. And can just for anyone that doesn't. know about your mom and like what like. can you explain what. her background was when people when. you're talking about this? Oh, so my mom. was a. case. Oh yes, no please. So my mom was. an actress and. sort of a iconic sex symbol in the 50s.

like Marilyn Monroe. So she. was one of the most photographed women. ever. and. a big you know, movie star and you know, legendary really. And so I went to his. house and again I'm seeing all this. stuff. Stuff that I had never seen and. kind of grew up away from all of that. and didn't have a very sort of Hollywood. childhood. My. dad was a builder, my um stepmother was. a flight attendant, so we traveled a lot.

and just had a really normal, I would. say, uh life. And. so, I went to his house and then he's. showing me around, he's showing me all. these photos, he's showing me, you know, whatever it is, dresses that she had. that he'd collected, you know, earrings. that she wore, things from movies, from. the movie set, you know, props or. whatever. And then he says to me, "Do you want to see a picture of. Nelson?". And I just looked at him.

And this jolt went through my body. And I said, "Who's Nelson?". And then. I knew. In one second. You did? Uh-huh. How? I don't know. I think my whole life, all the just like. millions of like. milla moments, I don't even know if.

that's a word, little fragments of a. memory of a moment of a thing, things I. caught that might sort of subcon- that. went into my subconscious moments. And then I said, "Who's Nelson?" And. then he. you know, I saw the drain blood out. drain out of his face and he sort of. panicked and turned white. And then he. said, you know, he panicked. And he said, "Oh, it's probably not true. It's. probably not true.".

And that's when I knew. And I think that he couldn't believe. that I didn't know. I I 25. How could I not know? And. I understand that. And then. he said it's not true. I'm sure it's not. true. And then he showed me his picture. And you're like it's true. On a cellular. level, it was just like a DNA talking to.

DNA. I knew it was true and I just. really thought my life was over. I mean, I remember leaving and uh. driving to my brother's house and. I thought I was going to crash my car. cuz I was so not present. I was totally. like dissociated and out of my body and. I got to my brother's house. I didn't. even know how I got there, but I knew. that I shouldn't be driving. Yeah, I was in that It was crazy. 25. years. thinking.

you know your story and your narrative. And. your mom also, you're trying to process. like not having your mom and you're at. this man's house and you're seeing like, "Oh my god, everyone was obsessed with. my mom and loved my mom and I don't get. to have her." And then it's like you're. hit in the face again. It's like, "Oh by. the way, Mickey. I did have, the one thing that I was. rooted in, the one thing that was my. constant. was no longer mine. And my identity was.

It was just smashed. It was like it. broke into. It's like I had. thousand. pellets of hard truths going, "My. brothers aren't my brothers. My. Hungarians, I'm not related to I'm not. Hungarian. I'm not related to all my. family that I grew up with in Hungary. What about this? What about this? I'm. not related to my sister who's my dad's. my dad's first daughter. I'm not related. to Oh my gosh, all the times when, you.

know, I spent so much time as a kid in. Italy. And every time I was there, and you can. see I'm a big gesticulator, and I talk. with my hands. I can't I get in trouble. on SVU cuz they're like, Mariska, sit on. your hands. And I can't. I just can't. It's just like a cellular genetic thing. But my whole childhood, everyone asked. me if I was Italian. My entire childhood. And it was like that, being barraged by.

it was just like a million missiles of. these mini micro moments going. Get it. And you're not allowed to I mean, not. allowed you can't talk to your mom. So, when you obviously at some point go to. Mickey, do you immediately go to him? I did. I drove from I went to my. brother's house first and asked him if. he knew. And he said he didn't. And um I'm very. very very very close with my brother. And he he didn't. So, then that was also.

confusing. And then I went up. to my dad's house, and I was, you know, hysterically crying and in a state, and. he was And here's here's How about this. metaphor? My dad was building me, physically. building me, a house. So, I drive up to the house that he is. building me. And confront him, and he was like, What? What are you talking about? Are you. crazy? That's so not true. He kept.

saying, You look like my father. You. look exactly like my father. You're a. Hargitay to the end. And you know, the. irony is that I'm more like my dad. than anyone in our whole family. Like I. am. Mickey mini Mickey. Right? And so, it was just a very. extraordinarily. painful moment. And I I always like and I say I say that. this is the moment that I became an. adult. And it I it's so visceral for me.

because. I was in so much pain. I was so. overwhelmed and I was in the you know, me me me me I oh my gosh, my life is. over. And then looking at this man. who's been nothing. but loving to me and nothing but this. amazing father to me. And I saw his pain. And I said. it doesn't matter what I feel. I love. him.

And I'm not. we're done here. We're done here. And so I said, "Okay, thank you for telling me." And uh. I pretended that I believed him. And. we never spoke of it again. And then he used to say even before he. died, "Remember when you thought that. crazy thing?" And I go, "I know, wasn't. that nuts?" Stop. Yeah. Oh, and you just went with it cuz you're. like. I went with it and then I felt like I.

became the parent in a way. And I was grateful to be that. But there. was no way that he genuinely thought. know. I'll never know. Right. I think. that he. integrated it and Mhm. this is my new. reality. He made a choice. And that was his new truth. And whether. it's true or not emotionally, it was his. truth. And I'll tell you something. I understand it because.

I have two adopted kids. And they are no different no different. than my biological son. No different. And so to me I go. I get it. It didn't matter. It doesn't matter. Right, cuz when he even when that moment. he's speaking to you, which is so. beautiful. It's like I've talked a lot. about on the show that obviously there's. so many people who don't have the. privilege of family. And but you can. then make your own family. Blood family.

is one thing. Family is family, the. family that you choose. And so it's like. I think there's a lot of people that. maybe would look at that and it's. actually so beautiful that he's like, "No, you are mine. Like you've been my. daughter. I love you so much.". Talk about being claimed. Right. Right, he's like But the irony. is, Alex, I know that now, right? In hindsight. But when I found out at 25, that was where the injury was. Is why. wasn't I claimed? He must have known. He.

didn't care. He didn't care. He didn't. love me. I wasn't worth it. I was. nothing to him. He knew. He had to know that I was his. daughter. Nelson, I'm talking about. And I wasn't worth it. I wasn't valuable. enough. And that's what I lived with. Is that I wasn't enough. My mother left. me. And when you're a kid, you know, listen, mother's everything, we know. Mother's everything until, you know, at.

least you're three, right? It's your. survival. And so having that feeling of. my mother left me, and then again, my father abandoned me, was so hard. integrate or make sense out of. And the. irony, this is the irony, is that I. lived with these. I mean, they were my truths and they.

were real to me at the time, but I go. back now and I go, I was claimed like nobody's business. And that's why. I think I love so hard and can love so. hard because I was so loved. Time also. just gives you such different. perspective and you can you can never. fault yourself when you're younger for. the reactions you have cuz you just. that's who you are in that moment and. that's all you're capable of seeing. figure it out.

Yes. So, all. And with limited information. Exactly. why it's hard cuz young people, and I. when I say young people, I'm talking. about myself, I couldn't I didn't have the whole. picture. So, you think, you know, when. people say to you, "Feelings aren't. facts.". And I remember when people would say. that to me and I'd go, "But yes, they. are because that's what happened." And I. would argue it and I did not understand. I could not comprehend what that meant, that feelings aren't facts. I was like, "This is my facts. These are my. reality." And now, you know, this is.

what wisdom is. This is what age is. This is what perspective is. And I'm. just I'm so grateful for this life to. grow into. the miracle of my story. And and and. having this comprehensive. understanding and getting the full. perspective. And now seeing that I had. such a limited, like a teeny, teeny, teeny sliver of the truth. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Uber. Eats. Okay, Daddy Gang, we all know Uber.

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shopping list, okay? I am so excited to. have friends over for summer on pool. days. And you know what the last thing I. want to do is when the UV is a 10. outside, go to the grocery store, okay? That's not on my to do list, okay? I. love that on Uber Eats I can get tequila. for the margaritas, I can get meat for. the barbecue, and sunscreen when I. realize that my tan is unfortunately. turning into a burn, okay? And when it. gets too hot in LA to be running outside. doing errands, I'm just like, oh, I need.

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always want to be an actress? So, no. Um when I was young, as I said, um we. traveled a lot. I spent a lot of time in. Italy, I spent a lot of time in Hungary, um you know, a lot of time in Colorado, and and Dallas, Texas to visit my. grandmother. I spent a lot of time My. parents, you know, would take us around. the world, and we I was very privileged. in terms of traveling. And I loved it, and I still love it. And so, I. loved connecting with different cultures.

and languages, and took French in high. school, and I was like, I think I want. to be um either a translator or like a. French diplomat, but something where I. could bring people together. Um and my favorite teacher, who was a. nun, and Sister Margaret, pulled me aside and said, "Marushka, you know, I used to get in trouble for. talking all of the time. I'm sure you. All the time. You know that one. all the time. Um and she said, "I think.

that you should try out for a play.". And I was like, "What?" She said, "You're an extrovert, and I wonder if. you. would like to try acting. And I went. and I never had thought about it. It was. a matter of fact, I was like, "No, I. don't want to do that. It's not mhm.". And then I tried out for the play. and it was a comedy. and I had the best time.

And it was a crazy French farce, so I. got to be nuts, which was very. comfortable for me. And I always thought that my career. would be in comedy, by the way. I mean, I started in comedy. You're funny. I know. NO ONE KNOWS THAT. EXCEPT YOU. YOU WALKED IN HERE and like, understandably, I didn't know what to. expect because it's like, "Dun dun." And. I'm ready. And then you walk in. AND YOU'RE LIKE, "GIRL!" I'M LIKE, "OH. [ __ ] I love you." It's different. It's. so funny. I know. I got cast You know. what's funny? I always get cast as cops.

I'm like, "What is the deal? I'm a. comedian." But anyway, um not a. comedian. Not a not a real comedian. I. I'll take that back. I have serious. respect for real comedians. Believe me. In another life, you're a comedian in. another life. Okay. But anyway, the. point is um. So then, I had so much fun and then my. senior year I tried out for uh the lead. in the in the play, which was a drama. And I. got it and fell in love and I was like, "This is the end of it." And then I. applied to USC and UCLA and I decided to.

be a theater major and that was the end. of it. How long into you going for. auditions did you get SPN? My 20s was. really hard and then I did a couple. guest star things, but then it dried up. for me. And I just went to acting class and then. it was when I turned 30. that I started working in a consistent. way. I mean, even that Yeah. is such just.

like a nice thing to hear because I feel. like obviously people are going to watch. this and be like, "Ugh, you have the. best [ __ ] life. Like, look at you. You're so successful.". you something. My 20s were not cute. Not only were they not cute work-wise, but I found out this when I was 20, which by the way, I think that also. really. took me apart. So, I didn't work, you. know, I worked in my early 20s, and then. I don't remember working so much 25 to. 30. Like, it was a dark time for me.

And I really wasn't confident. I had an. identity crisis, which I'm. you know, I like telling people that. I'm not It's. true. It's what happened. We all have. our demons. We all have our skeletons. Life is hard. It's hard navigating it. It's hard figuring it out. There's so. much to figure out. And so, um then at. 30. is when I started working in a more. consistent way. And then it was.

at 34, it I'll tell you a fun story. This is a great story. You'll appreciate. it. So, I used to go, um to New York twice a. year, and just see theater. So, I went on one of my trips. It was I. was 30, I think it was in like January. I was 34, and I come to New York, and a. friend of mine said, "Oh my gosh, Mariska, you have to go to the psychic. You have to go to the psychic on Long. Island." I didn't even know where Long. Island was. I mean, I was, you know,

I'm like, I'll go to Long Island. So, I. drive out to this guy's house on Long. Island, and uh. he gives me a psychic reading. And I'm, because my mom was famous, I always was. like, "Mhm, you are just probably going to Google. me, and you know, from Jayne Mansfield's. daughter, and then come up with some. bullshit.". So, I sit down with this guy, and we're. talking, we're talking, we're talking. He says some things. And then he says to me, and I was. listening to him, and I'm like this. And he goes, "I swear to God." he says,

"You see that face? I have this on uh a. You see that face right now?". I said, "Yeah." He goes, "You're going. to be famous for that face. That face, that serious face." And I said, uh "No, I am uh. funny. funny and I'm pretty. Deadly. combination. I'm going to be a. comedian." I say. And he says, this is. my favorite thing I think anyone's ever. said to me. He goes like this, "I don't give a rat's ass what you.

think. You're going to be famous for that. face.". And then he says to me, "And you're moving to New York." And I. said, uh. "No, I have this gorgeous house my. father built. I was living in a house. with like 32 roommates because I had. this house and it had five rooms. Obviously couldn't afford it. So I. rented out rooms. So I'm like actually. living out an episode of Friends. Not an. episode, but the whole season because I. had so many roommates. And I was like,

"I live in LA. I This is my town. I have. my roommates. I have my house. What am I. going to do with my house?" Swear to. God, 6 months later, I got SVU. I swear this is true on my. children. This happened. He said, "I don't give a rat's ass. First of all, how great is rat's ass? in everything. better expression. I'm taking it all in cuz I'm also just. like this [ __ ] psychic in Long.

Island. I'm like, holy [ __ ]. He also said that there was going to be. an issue with a cocktail ring. And then there was. I'm not going to get into that story. Okay, wait. But I just want you to know that this. happened. This is good stuff. I need to. write a book and put it in. You heard it. here, people. Okay, wait. You get the script finally. for SVU. What is your first impression. of your character? So I read it. and I said and I never had this. experience.

I've never loved anything more. This is my show. This is the most. progressive show I've ever seen. I love it. I need it. I have to do the. show. And then I had the audition. and then I got a callback and on the. second callback. Dick Wolf was there. and. I see. another girl. in the waiting room.

And I'm like, oh no, this is not. happening. So, I walked in there and I. said, listen to me. I didn't know that. Dick Wolf was like the king of. television and I go, I don't know who. that is out there, but let me tell you. something. This is my part. He's like, oh, is it? And I said, yeah. So, you. tell her to go home. So, I do I do my audition and then he. gives me notes. He gave me notes. And then I go, those are good notes. Thank you. And he's like, oh, are they. are they good notes?

It was so funny. I I had like lost. myself. I didn't even know what overtook. me, but I was so clear about it. And. then it turns out that the beautiful, talented actress that was in the waiting. room was there for another part. Oh my god. And she was in the pilot and. she's a fantastic actress. this [ __ ] Get her out of here. I was like, get her out of here. And. then of course, you know, We're friends. now for life, but Oh. Um she was so magnificent and she was in. it and so they all told me this after.

and then the next audition was for the. network. And. That's when I met Chris Meloni and that. was uh the rest is history. What do you think is the biggest. similarity between you and Olivia? Compassion, empathy. and feel the fear and do it anyway. What do you think is the biggest. difference? You're funny. Comedy. YOU'RE [ __ ] FUNNY.

SHE'S NOT AS FUNNY AS I AM and she. doesn't have this much. joy and balance. But she's awesome. So we give her a pass. on all her flaws. Not only do we give. her a pass. We love her. Taylor Swift. named her cat after Olivia Benson. Can. we just Can we just for a second. But I I will say as epic as that is, I did name my cat Karma.

Okay? Before. So. So payback's a [ __ ] ISN'T IT? SO I I leveled the playing field there. And my cat's name is Karma cuz Karma is. a cat. And she and Karma vibe like that. That happened. Did you name your cat. Karma before or after the song came out? Right after. It was the only thing it. seemed fair. So you went and got a cat?

Yeah, and I named it Karma. Did you go get a cat just to name a cat. Karma or did you want a cat? Well, actually, there's two things. That's a great question. I didn't want a. cat. I wasn't planning on getting a cat. and I was walking to Starbucks with my. daughter and well, all my kids. And uh. there was a pet store there. So. embarrassed about this. cuz I don't like buying animals from pet. stores and I really don't cuz my dog is. a rescue and I'm all about a rescue.

However, and parents understand this, there are. moments as a parent when your kids lose. their [ __ ]. They lost their [ __ ] and then my husband. who is the kind of guy that would go, "We're not buying a cat. We're not guys, no, we're not buying a cat. And then I. said Peter just get in here for one. second and we're in the little room like. you know, they have little sections in. the in the pet store and and then Peter. gets in with the cat and Peter's like.

this is he picks the cat. No. And then. the kids are like we want this one and. Peter goes no, we're getting this one. and it was so hilarious and then Peter. picked the cat. So I guess Peter and Karma vibe like. that. I don't know. It was saying. So we. went home with the cat. The kitty, the. cutest little kitty who now we call it. Kittis. That's your cat voice? Kittis. Kittis. I. can't believe And you know what? The sad. part is the cat ignores me. The cat is. so [ __ ] If I didn't have my dog, I'd.

be the most insecure person on the. planet cuz I come home and our dog, right? She goes crazy. She jumps on. Peter. She's like like. SHE CAN'T COME DOWN for half hour. She. loves us so much. She can't see. straight. Like I have to send her to the. shrink when we're gone because she's so. upset if the whole five of us are not. together and I come home my cat's like. what? Karma's like I don't give she. walks by me and goes whatever. How was. your trip? Okay. That's so She's so. [ __ ] but I love her and the whole. heart to get thing I play it right back.

I play it. it? Yeah. I love it. Okay, you don't strike me well, maybe as. a music video girly. Oh, I'm so music video? You are so. tell you something. I did a music video. before Teyana Taylor. What did you do? Sweetheart, I did. Ronnie Milsap she loves my car. What? Because I was on a car in a bathing suit. throwing a beach ball. What? Oh, yes. Guys Someone pull this up. This. video is going to make Hold on. Hold on.

Ronnie Carmack? No. No. Sorry. I forget. See this is when you're 12 and. you're showing your age. Ronnie Milsap. Ronnie Ronnie Milsap? Say it Ronnie. Ronnie. Ronnie. Ronnie I mean you just made my voice. crack. Ronnie Millsap Okay. She loves my. car. She loves my car. I'm in it with X. Xene. There's a lot of cool stuff. You're going. need the audio. We just need the video. you're going to lose that's Hold please.

Where are you? just hold please. Guys we're watching the music video one. sec. HOLD PLEASE. OH! IS THAT YOU? YES! WELL I'M GOING to tell you a funny story. about this. This is the night I got arrested. Okay. pause. Excuse me? Olivia Benson? What? I was arrested and thrown in the. slammer. Why? I was thrown in the clink. Why? Is it. called the clink? Yeah. Okay here's what happened. This is an. excellent story. Okay. So in that video. we were shooting and.

I think it was a two-day shoot but on. the last day we were losing the light. As you can see it's was shot in the day. and we were shooting in um. in Santa Monica. So at as we were losing the light I had. to go back into two outfits. One was. like a pink. situation and the other was blue and I. had pink and blue lipstick on. So we. were losing the light we didn't have. time to switch the makeup palette. So. she started adding. a a lot of makeup on me a lot. And at.

that night my parents were leaving. for Africa. So as the sun set at I don't know 8:00 I. jumped in my car full face of makeup. hair out to here no shoes like in. fishnets and. a questionable outfit let's just say. I've always been known to have a bit of. a lead foot. Um. and stop signs well you know I always. saw them as optional. Um I've changed. and I've changed my ways since then but.

I would I wouldn't not stop. It was just. about like rolling through the red. light. I'm not proud of it. I'm not. proud of it. And don't don't do this at. home. But um so I was trying to race. home to see my parents. All of a sudden. No. Pull me over and they're like, "Ma'am, you just ran a stop sign." I was like, "I wasn't, but like I just I'm going. home to see my parents. I please please. da da da. "Can I have your driver's license?".

They pull up my driver's license and he. says, "Ma'am, please get out of the. car.". I go, "What? For a stop sign? What?" He. says, "Ma'am, please get out of the. car.". I had. $3. I can't say this. People won't look at. me the same way. Say it. I had $3,000. in. outstanding in parking tickets. Because at UCLA I didn't I was late to.

class and I didn't always use my parking. pass because the garage where my classes. were was so far away. I was like, "I'll. just be fine here. I'll just really. quick I'll just really quick go to class. and come back out." And I would get. tickets every day and I was in like a. fantasy denial world. And so I had. $3,000. and when this guy told me to get out of. the car and of course I don't have shoes. on and he's like thinking making a lot. of judgments about me. And he puts me in his car, locks me in.

the back, and throws me in the clink. He throws me in the clink. I can't call my parents what after I've. just said, "Hey guys, I'm coming home. I. want to see you before you go to. Africa. Africa." And so I was like, "Hey, um the. video the shoot has gone over. I don't. know that we can." So I called Also, I. never I'm a girl that never Not anymore, but during my 20s I never have cash. I. never had cash on me. Never. That night. I had $160.

sixty dollars in twenties and I think. bail was like 180. I was 120 short of. making bail. Oh. They throwed me in the They threw me in. the slammer. The clink. The clink. It's so good. It's so good. They threw me in the clink and I'm. standing there and everyone's like, "What are you in for?". And I asked everybody what they were in. for. Are you not supposed to do that? know, but I make friends with everyone. Okay. And then they all gave me phone numbers. when I got out cuz at the time a friend.

came and picked me up. And I got. everyone's phone number and they said, "Will you call this person? Will you. call this person?" So I had four phone. numbers when I left and I was calling. going, "Hey, just want to let you know. your friend is in the Santa Monica jail. house.". And it was so funny. People were like, "What are you in for?" And I was like, "I got a speeding ticket." But the point. is um. it was. You got arrested after your first music. video. Yep. Thank god that didn't happen after. bad blood.

Can you imagine after bad blood? They. threw me in the clink again and I said, "Sweetheart, I've been here before. You. can't scare me." That is. I just realized that that is so funny. So. Okay, so you are a music video girl. Would you ever do another one again? If. Tayte asked me. Oh. I'm hoping I'm standing by for Taylor. I. only do Taylor Swift videos now. I I hit the big time. I've hit the big. time. The fact that you can say that is such a. flex. Like, "Oh, I only do Taylor. Swift.". I only do Taylor Swift videos.

Okay, you need to give me a little. behind the scenes of the music video. with her. Like, give us anything. You. know the world is all Swifties. She It was so fun. It's the best music. video. It's the best music video and I'd. already Wait, I think I'd already gone. to the music the music. the video awards. Look, I can't even. think of what it's called. What's it. called? The music awards? When I got to. go with the squad. No, it was after, right? After we made the video. That was. the most fun. But being in the squad. with all the. Swifties. cool girls and supermodels and.

all of it. It was like the most fun. ever. Um it was just so great and she was just. warm and smart and kind and such a boss. lady and. and it it was so amazing cuz what what. year was that? And I learned so I learned so much from. her. That's what I love about her is. she's so young but she shows us. so in such beautiful ways how to be. fearless and a boss lady. I literally. was trying to fall asleep last night and.

I turned on the air list tour to like. put me to bed and then I I watched the. entire thing and I was up till 3:00 a.m. That's right. My daughter watches the. same thing. We have it on repeat. It's. the best. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by. Shopify. I am one of those people who just wants. to curl up and be cozy all winter, but. the second summer weather starts to hit, I'm ready to grind, okay? And not like. the seventh grade grind chain at the. dance. I'm talking grind as in work. Usually summer is a slower pace, so I.

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daddy. That's shopify.com/daddy. Can we talk about your time on SVU? Obviously, I know that you've talked a. lot about how people will come up to you. and feel comfortable to disclose their. Yeah, disclose their stories, and. sometimes they're telling it for the. first time to you. Like, how does it. feel to know people trust you like that? It's such a privilege. It's such an.

honor. Yeah. It's insane, you know, I live a very um. unique. existence that way with such a deep. connection, like soul connection to. uh. my you know. people, um. survivors, and fans, and it's. so different than I think.

maybe other. artists have because. they share with me the deepest, most. sacred, most tender, intimate parts of. themselves with me, and there's such a. beautiful. you know, understanding or a feeling of. safety. And that's been um. It's hard really to put into words to. have such a. connection with a person that almost. requires no words because it's an.

understanding. And I am. so grateful and I think it's part of the. reason. of SVU I. obviously it's been a marathon and I and. I love it and I'm so not done with it. But there are times and there have been. years where I am. you know, I've been running a marathon. and I'm exhausted. I'm exhausted, but. there's so much um.

there's so much. healing and so much beauty and we know. that bearing witness. to someone's story is healing. And. I'm just profoundly grateful that I get. to be. whatever part of somebody's healing. journey. So it's um magnificent. It is. Last year then you shared in an. op-ed that you are also a survivor and. you were assaulted in your 30s.

What made you want to speak about it. publicly? It was very interesting. I was doing the People magazine cover. And it was a feature on. you know, milestones. Right? It was I turned 60, Joyful Heart was 20 years old, I was. married for 20 years, um you know, 20-year anniversary and my oldest son. going to college and there was just. milestone after milestone after. milestone. And.

what's so beautiful about that is. um this the woman the journalist came. over. and I wasn't planning on talking about. that and I had so much to talk about. And. it just came up organically. And so, the. way I see that is. it was about me being present. And I was ready. I was just ready. And that felt.

also like a gift, that it just came up. And. there was no shame, there was no stigma, there was no fear. I was unencumbered. because of the work that I had done on. it. And. I had some work to do. Yeah. To process. it. And again. I was so. happy to. I was so.

happy to, cuz it just came up, and. that's where it was, and that was real, and I was ready to talk about it. Cuz I. was thinking like, I noticed, obviously, there's like a parallel in. this character that you've been playing. is investigating these types of crimes, right? But then, behind the scenes, you're processing trauma. Like, what was that like for you? Being on SVU. and and having these heavy-hitting.

topics every single week, did it ever. impact you emotionally with what you've. gone through? So much, and I think that's the. um. deep uh. compassion and. empathy and understanding and connection. of really understanding it on, you know, um. a visceral level. And that's why I. wanted to talk about it, because so many. people blame themselves, myself.

included. And I couldn't. process. that I couldn't get out of it. I. couldn't. I have gotten out of so many things. through. my intellect, through. comedy, through just outsmarting, through. uh. you know, physically, um. and I couldn't get out of this. And I. couldn't metabolize it. I couldn't. understand that I.

couldn't. And that just lived in me, and so I. I blamed myself. And then it got to the point where I. went. it just became so clear. what happened, and I was ready to. I was also in denial about it, and I. remember I told my husband, and he said. he looked at me like. Mariska. you said that you were never. sexually assaulted.

You were. He said that. And I remember going like. And that's why I understand about denial. and dissociating. And I have so much room for that in. people because now I look at it and I. say I'm grateful for that part of myself. that kept me safe. For that part of. myself that said, "You're not ready to.

deal with it.". So, there's no blame. There's only. integration. And. and you know, we have to. scaffold ourselves. We have to support. ourselves. We have to be ready. We have. to build an infrastructure. within ourselves and external support. that we know that we'll be heard and. that we'll be understood and timing is. right. And so, I was.

very excited to share that because I. know that know, as Olivia Benson, I know. that people like project on me and. think, "Oh, she's so this, she's so. that. It could never happen to her.". Well, guess what? It did. And there was nothing I could do about. it. And even if I could, fight or flight is real and people. freeze and that is. the neurobiology. of trauma.

That is what happens. We freeze. And so, understanding that and studying that and. I think that in all my, you know, research and all the studying that I've. done and, you know, really learning about trauma and, you. know, understanding, you know, the body. keeps the score and how we hold trauma. in our body on a cellular level. And, you know, fracturing and memory. fracturing and all the things that.

happened to us. I had to fully understand that. to be able to talk about it. because I couldn't understand and so. many people couldn't understand and my. favorite thing was after I shared that. story, so many women came forward and. said, "That happened to me." And they couldn't. believe that they couldn't they didn't. understand what happened to them. physically.

It is like incredible. the way you talk about it and that. you're doing this publicly though, not. that it is like for you to have to do, but it I it does help hearing someone. really put it in perspective because. there are so many people that are like, "Well, why did it take so long?" And. I've had it. I know it's going to. happen. Like, "Well, why didn't you come. out with this? Why does it take a decade. later?" And it's like. normalizing. that there is no timeline of when it is.

correct for someone to speak up about. what happened to them that was. traumatic. Trauma is not linear. It you. could come out with it the day of, you. could come out with it never, or it. could be 50 years. We don't know, but I. think that question is such a question. of privilege. You're like, "Well, why. didn't you?" Well, then you probably. haven't experienced something like that. cuz then you wouldn't be asking that. question or you're projecting. Or, but. also, Alex, or. they're also in denial. Yeah. And they're also not ready to deal.

with it because I've had so many people. that I've heard them talk about that. And certainly, you know, I mean, in my. movie, I am evidence, you know, about. the backlog of the untested rape kits. You know, I we have an expert talk about. the neurobiology of trauma. And And. listen, when law enforcement said she. was gang-raped, well, she just lied. there and she must have wanted it. They. don't understand. So, part of it is. truly a lack of education and.

understanding. And also, for example, one out of, you know, three. women is sexually assaulted in their. life and one out of six men. It has been my experience. that the men who have disclosed to me. that were assaulted many times in their. teens, all the men that have disclosed to me, and there's been a few, were all in their 50s. And that's just not an accident. It took. them that long to process it. So, I.

think that the people that are. judging. either. are a little. disconnected. or they don't are not educated in. trauma. Something that you wrote in your op-ed. that I thought was really. beautiful is you really talk about how. your mission is to take the shame off of.

survivors and put it on who it belongs. to, which is the abusers. What do you think though is the first. step to doing that? Women say, "I was raped.". Where's the perpetrator in that? There's no perpetrator. So, there's a a weird ownership, right? I think. the blame, it has to be named. He.

raped me. Name it. One of the greatest. um. pieces of advice. that I've ever received, and I'll tell you two. Well, there's three. One is slowing down. everything. The second is. noticing things. Just notice it. Don't.

need to change it, but notice it. And the third is. naming things, right? We push through our emotions to not feel. because it's too painful. So, for me, um. being able to slow down, notice a feeling, and honor it. Not have to do anything. You take the pressure off. Just sitting with yourself and noticing.

that. You go, and it's like. right? And then you name it. And once you name it, things get put in the right piles. So, for me, this person. raped me. I was not raped. He raped me.

There was nothing I could do about it. And I have clarity about what happened. And I don't blame myself. at all. I'm I survived it. My unconscious and myself and my whole. being did what I had to do to survive. And if that was going into denial about. it, then so be it. I'm grateful for the part.

of me that said, "We're not ready to deal with this. And you'll be ready when you're ready.". Now, what did I do? I started a foundation for victims of. sexual assault and domestic violence. So, I did something about it. And I did. something great about it. And I talked. about it. And I dealt with mine. when I was ready. And I'm grateful for that. And I have. patience for that. And I have empathy.

for the part of myself that wasn't ready. to deal with it. So, that's what I feel like I don't have. judgment. I look at I say, "When you're. ready, when people can't deal with it, when they judge, when they blame, when. they go Mhm. Mhm. Mhm." You go, "Okay, I. understand. That's about them." And you don't take. that on. What you're doing is brave. It's. powerful. You understand the power of. healing. You know, I talked to so many. people since I you invited me to come be.

on this show. And. people have a very um emotional. connection with you. And that's what I found so moving, right? Because you're so funny and you. talked about, you know, fun stuff and. comedy and frivolous things and silly. things and. you go in. Yeah. And you do it all. I. had somebody say to me last week, I. said, "What do you like about it?" I. wanted to understand and they said,

"I grew up in a house where nobody. talked about sex. I grew up in a house. where it was so I didn't know anything. I learned she's like my sister." And. that made me I was like, "Oh my god, I. love her." But you know what I mean? But. what you do I mean, we're not we're. similar, I think, in a way. Yeah. I really do and I I I have I feel. a weird connection to you because. you give people permission. You talk. about things where people don't. What do.

I say tell people in in this field? Talk. about it. Talk about it. Go to your. dinner table and say, "I want to talk. about it." Talk to your sons. Talk to. your boys. Talk to your friends. People. didn't talk about it and now they do and. guess what? Everyone goes, "Me, too." Immediately. Immediately. conversation is such power and it makes. me happy to hear that because. Yes, it's power. It is and it's like people are just. looking to feel connected because we're. so isolated. for community. You give that. I give.

that. We give that. Connection is. everything. It makes us feel less. isolated, less ashamed, less alone. Those were the things when people wrote. to me. Those were the things in the. letters that I got when people started. disclosing their stories of abuse. I'm I'm I'm ashamed. I'm alone. I'm alone. They're so isolated. They. didn't know to tell people and as soon. as you tell people, everyone says, "I have a story. I have this. I have.

that." That's how we change the culture. Such a. is what's so exciting and I'm so happy. um I'm so I don't know if it's not. appropriate, but I'm so proud of you for. what you did. I'm so proud of you for. what you built and what you made and. your fearlessness and your bad-assery. I. feel the same exact way with you. I. think like when you meet women who are. trying to do their best, it's like we're. not. we're just sharing our experiences and. yes, it's uncomfortable, but I've always.

said if me being vulnerable online can. help anyone at home sitting in their. room be like, "Oh my god, Alex, me too.". then I did my job today. You did your. job today and that's why I said people. are like, "Oh, are you Do you feel. vulnerable?" And I go, "Yeah, I feel. really vulnerable." But guess what? When. people are vulnerable to me, you know. what it makes me want to do? Hug them. Yes. Hug them. And get And get. vulnerable again. And get vulnerable. again and tell them everything and go, "Oh my god, me too.". And then you have a connection with. somebody that you may have out of fear. or insecurity, you may have projected on. them and then you don't even see them.

Truly. And they could be awesome and your. bestie. Right. And then you have a. connection forever because if somebody. goes, "I don't know that girl. Then you go, "You know what? Do you know. her story? She's been through a lot.". Right. It changes so much. get curious about somebody and it Even I. say that to my daughter, it's one of my. favorite things. You know, she's in. middle school and it's tough to navigate. and she's like, "This person was mean or. this person was rude and she didn't talk. to me." And I always go, "Why Why Why do. you think? Do you think she was having a. bad day? Do you think she felt Do you.

think she felt insecure, jealous? Do you. think she saw you with somebody else and. did this this?" Because we're all so. tender and like tender and we just want. to feel cozy and connected. I know when. people are acting out a lot of times. you're like, "Oh my god, don't even get. mad. Be like, what is this person going. through?". What's wrong? What's wrong? What Robin. Williams said, we're all carrying What's. that beautiful quote? Everyone is. fighting a battle that you know nothing. about. Be kind always.

Boom. I know we only have so much time, so I have to ask. I have a hard out at. 5:00. No, I you 5:00? No, I am jumping on a plane and I know, I know. So, let me ask some of like the. questions I need to ask because the SVU. Okay, no, no, no. First of all, I could. talk about this with you. We could go on a [ __ ] retreat. together and sit and talk and write nine. books together, but I only have so much. time with you, so I need to ask these. questions, too. Okay, um SVU fans are. obsessed with you and Chris Meloni's. on-screen dynamic. Obviously,

talking about your friendship in real. life. We. are just connected. We are so close. It's like we've been through the battle. together. We know each other so well. We. love each other so much. We respect each. other so much. We connected, obviously, by living these stories and living. and going so deep together for so many. years acting and.

he and I. really bond over comedy. We have a very. similar sense of humor and we just have. You know what it is? It's shared. perspective. It's shorthand. We are so. comfortable with each other. We deeply. trust each other. We know like whatever. he needs, I will always be there for him. And. that's mutual. And we have grown together. We've known. each other 27 years. When he left the.

show, I felt like, obviously, the entire. world was just devastated. Like, how did you handle that? Did you know? Had you guys talked about it? Like, what. was and how did like it affect the cast. and everything? I was devastated. I was devastated. Um. No, it um. It happened very quickly and it was. surprising. It was over a. negotiation. And I tried everything I could to fix it.

and change it. And you know, again, it's. one of these things in life where you. I have these I'm sorry, I don't mean to. have ADD, but I have these chandeliers. You're lying. I swear to God. Sophie, No, we have this. Hold up my um. the sca- the chandeliers in my dressing. room. You're lying. We have the same. taste. at birth? Yes. We look so much alike. When I saw. you, I was like, this is like a mirror. Um No, no, no. I'm going to show you my.

I'm sending you photos of my dressing. room. This is She has the sconce version. of my chandeliers. Sorry, ADD moment. Come back. What What did you ask me? Oh, contract he left you were sad. I was devastated. And and and. it was awesome. He was ready to go. He did He went on to. do all these other great shows, great. work. I got to meet some of my favorite. humans. Um all the people that all the.

actors that have come on SVU. It's a I. will say this, it's a magical place. It's a magical place to work. Everyone. is deeply deeply invested. And my. favorite thing. of all of it is when guest stars come. and say to me, "Is it always like this here?" And I go, "Yep." What? It's. a team. It's fun. We laugh. And we get.

it. done. Like we are so focused and so Listen, it's shorthand. Everyone knows the. drill. Everyone's so good. And. we know when to play, we know when to. work. We have been together so long. There's a real intimacy. I'm like very. close with my crew. Like we text. yesterday. We.

love each other and we are a team and if. somebody's not invested, they're out. Like we. bring our A game, best idea wins. And it is a joy and I look forward to. going to work every day. and you can't believe how much we laugh. What time do you wake up? Well, now that I've been on the show. since 1926, um my call is 7:00 every. day. I know everyone else gets up like 5:00, but I'm like, "Sweetie,

I'm going to roll in around 7:30. I hope. you're cool with that." There's a little. Mama Mama has Mama sets the Mama's the. boss. Mama's the boss now. I #bosslady. What? I don't wield it around, but they're not. confused. Do you know what I'm saying? I'm obsessed. Yeah, no, it's really good. But I'm the hardest worker of all of. them, too. There you go. play. I set the standard. I say this is. what we're doing and if it's not. working, I go, "We're that's not good. Let's go again." Okay, as for you talk. for the really, really, really crazies,

they need me to ask Olivia and Elliot. had a will they, won't they relationship. for years. Do you think they'll ever end. up together? Maybe on the last episode. I think that's when they should be. together. On the last episode. Yeah. Do you want. them to be at the end? If it's right. We'll see when we get there. We are soulmates in a way. Yes. We are. and I think that. I.

I mean, Chris has had a. profound impact on my life, my artistry. I think we've had a big impact on each. other and so. Olivia and Elliot are, but let's see. where the story takes us, you know? In. our hectic, fast-paced lives, we could. use some slowing down. Häagen-Dazs is. made to be savored and enjoyed slowly. Introducing new Häagen-Dazs Belgian.

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long, stressful day. Ice cream just. always hits the spot for me, and these. Häagen-Dazs cones are truly the perfect. treat. Savor your moment of slow with. new Häagen-Dazs Belgian Waffle Cones. available at retailers nationwide. Okay, quick rapid fire. Who has been your favorite guest star to. work with? Are you Are you [ __ ] kidding me? There's so many good ones for different. reasons. Name a couple quick. Oh, Jesus. WELL, I MEAN, THE FIRST THING COMES OUT.

OF MY MOUTH RIGHT NOW is Bradley. Whitford and Amy Landecker. Boom. Okay. Just cuz it's recent and they're so. funny. Okay, what episode of SVU are the most. proud of? Rapid fire. Um um the one I directed um maybe uh uh. what's it called in the um that that. thing. The one in the sky with Bradley. Whitford. Boom. Okay, what has been. your craziest fan interaction? The. craziest fan interaction? Uh. Hold on, there's a lot.

I like it when like you know, because I. get so much love on the street and I get. I mean I get a lot of love. Somebody's. like, "I don't get SVU.". I don't get it. Somebody comes up to me. and I'm like, "Oh my god, well, I'm so. sorry. Thank you.". I don't know what to say. So, have you. had another fan interaction? good. So, have you had So, HAVE YOU HAD. ANOTHER FAN INTERACTION? BUT YOU LIVE IN. NEW YORK CITY. Is it. like are you getting are you Can you. walk to the bagel shop? It's so awesome, but you have to understand, I walk It's. It's such a joy cuz I walk and they're.

like, "Oh my god, I LOVE YOU." YOU KNOW. WHAT'S THAT? YEAH, AND THEY I HUG IT OUT. I'm a. hugger. It's a It's very intimate um. relationship in New York. So, one time I. was um I was uh well, I was getting in. my car and I uh was. saw a man fall. And so, I went over I jumped out of my. car. I grabbed the man. and I picked him up and I put him in my. car and I uh took him to the hospital. and then I took him home. Like I do like. stuff like that a lot. If I see If I see.

something If you see something, say. something. If I see something, I just. handle it. There's stuff like that. Has. anyone ever mistaken you while you're on. set for being an actual cop? Well, there. was the time when I was shooting a scene. um in a park and uh we were shooting a. scene and the little girl came up to me. crying and said, "Hi." And she was just. crying and she wouldn't talk and I said, "What's the matter, honey?" And she said. and she was crying and I said, "Did you. lose your Did you lose Is your mom? Can. you Where's your mom?" And she was like, "Uh." And so, I just picked her up. I. said, "Can I pick you up?" And I picked.

her up and then I walked around uh the. park until I until I found her mom. So, I think she thought I was a police. officer and but either way she trusted. me. So, that was beautiful. Olivia, we. love it. Have you ever taken anything. from set? Like do you have Do you have. any of like Olivia's memorabilia in your. house? Oh, yeah. I take whatever I want. whenever I want. I don't. I just go can I have this? I always ask. Can I have this? And they're like, "Yeah, go ahead." Or they're like, "No.". And you're like, "Okay, thanks." And you. take it anyway. Yeah. They don't say no, but I don't ask.

for stuff like that, you know. They gave. me like my real badge Yeah. wanted that and I framed it and then. they made a new badge for me. That's really cute. Um okay. With all that you've achieved, how do. you define success at this point in your. life? Peace. Space. Um. balance. I feel so. peaceful.

and present in a new way. I haven't. always. I used to have so lot of anxiety. and be scared. And I'm just not anymore and I trust. I. think that I trust. I think I had a lot. of catastrophic. um. thinking and was waiting for the shoe to. drop, which is understandable, losing my. mother. and then this thing happening with my. father. Um. and now I feel.

steady and grateful and. um loved. I think my family is my biggest. place of success in my life. It's It's. everything that I wanted. My husband is. everything that I wanted. My husband is. my. home, my cheerleader, my.

makes laugh if he can fix anything. and the best dad. I call him Daddy. I'm just kidding. I so don't. Don't do that. It was a stick. That was that. That's. the headline. No, on and then my my my kids like my. our family. I love my kids so much and I just love. our family. I love our family. The fact. that I get to go home right now to my. kids and my family I I'm like what else.

is there? What else is there? An. integration. I say integration. This is. what I was talking about all the parts. I feel success because I'm integration. Everything's in balance. There's no like. highs and lows. Like oh yes, okay, and. the movie is great. But I'm just settled. being with you and being present and. connecting. It's I just feel um. settled and. hopeful and now I go back to SBU and I'm. like oh I wonder what I'll do. I'm not.

as fearful. You know? I think that's incredible. advice. Like even thinking back to the. beginning of this episode when you were. talking about, you know, your 20s you're. like that was the worst era of my life. and I know I have a lot of women in. their 20s listening and I think it's so. beautiful to hear from you how they. should feel so hopeful that it's going. to get better. You're going to know. yourself more. You're going to grow into. yourself more. You're going to learn how. to heal your traumas. You're going to. learn how to love yourself more. It's. all coming. Be patient and be gentle.

with yourself and know that there's. parts of you at work and they're all. trying to figure it out and they're all. parts that want your attention. So be. gentle and listen. Listen to that inner. voice. My inner voice has guided me and when. I'm still enough to listen to it, it has. all the answers. You already have. everything you need. You already have it.

inside. And that's the thing that we. that we need to grow into. This was so lovely. so lovely. I feel like I was just like at coffee. with a girlfriend chatting. Truly, you. are so inspiring, you're so talented, you're so smart, you're all the things. of like a dream guest that I could have. asked for. And my family and friends are. so [ __ ] jealous right now. And I had. the best time. So, thank you so much for. coming on Call Her Daddy. This was a.

dream. I'm honored to be here. Let's do. it again.