Make Dating Fun Again

Daddy gang, welcome back to another. Sunday session. I am feeling really, really reflective heading into today's. episode because, fun fact, tomorrow is. Matt and I's 2year wedding anniversary, which means we will have been together. for a total of six years going on seven. That is like insane to say out loud. In. some ways, I feel like we've been. together our whole lives, but then. another part of me is like still shocked. that I'm married and I have a husband.

and I'm a wife. But as we're entering. into this third year of marriage, I have. been thinking a lot about the time. before Matt and I ever met. Obviously, I. feel so grateful and lucky to be in this. phase of my life with him, but I'm also. really grateful for the time that I gave. myself to just be single and on my own. before we ended up together. Because. even though being single can of course. be extremely stressful and disappointing.

at times, it can also be one of the most. transformative and empowering phases of. your life. And I am so happy now to be. building this life with Matt. But I was. really happy when I was single, too. And. yes, I know like being singled and being. married are two wildly different. experiences. But what I really want to emphasize. today is that one phase is not more. meaningful or important than the other.

When Matt came into my life, I was. really enjoying dating. I was meeting. new people. I was figuring out what I. liked, getting to know myself better, was building my career. And because of. that, I think Matt and I were able to. take our time and not rush into. anything. And I think now looking back, that was such a huge part of why our. relationship worked so well. Like, I. didn't need Matt. Matt didn't need me. We were both so centered and working on.

ourselves that it kind of was like, if. this works out, great, but like don't. really need you. And like I'm a very. independent person and if our lives. naturally come together, great. But like. kind of doesn't matter if it doesn't. work out because I'm good on my own. And. I think that was such a beautiful place. to be in when I met Matt. And because of. that, I do think that those early dating. stages between us, they got to just be. really fun. Like they were low stakes. and we just both got to kind of be along.

for the ride and just enjoy ourselves. Why I'm bringing this up is because. lately when I talk to my single friends. or when I'm reading um DMs that you guys. are sending me for questions of the. week, I feel like the experience that I. got to have when I was single is very. different from the experience of dating. and trying to find your person in 2026. And weirdly, like I know it wasn't that. long ago that I was single, like. sevenish years ago, but a lot continues. to change with social media. And listen,

I know it's like not exactly a hot take. to say that dating apps have completely. changed the way that we meet people, but. for better or worse, they have taken a. lot of the curiosity and the spontaneity. out of the process of meeting someone. new. There's obviously so many positives. of dating apps, but that is one of the. cons, right? And I can totally see how. people might feel like the only option. in today's dating culture is to meet. your person on an app. But I also know.

that. when you're single. and your mentality is in that headsp. space where you're like, "Ugh, I don't. really want to be single anymore. Like, I just want to find a partner. Like, I. don't want to be going out to clubs and. drinking and going to the bars and all. of that." Like it's almost like you go. on that drinks and you're like really. hoping it's going to be amazing and then. it's like h and then like you go on the. second date cuz you're like come on like. maybe there's like something I missed. like maybe he is better on the second. date than the first and then you're like. oh my god this is worse than the first.

date and then you end up ghosting each. other and like then the worst part. you're like I have to start all over. again. because I just spent so much time in the. apps and then I got out of the apps and. we started texting and then I met him on. the date and it was horrible and now I'm. back to the apps. That whole process, I do want to. acknowledge, can make you feel a little. numb. It's just the truth. You start to. become numb to dating. And if you're. anything like a lot of my single. friends, then you're probably also at a. place where like you know exactly what.

you're looking for. Your standards are. probably really high. You've done a lot. of work on yourself, but every date you. go on just feels like another. disappointing job interview, another. waste of time. And I think when dates. start to feel like this chore that you. have to check off your list, I think. that we really then start to strip. ourselves from the potential to actually. have a lot of fun in the process of. getting to know someone and being single. and dating. And so I am here today, Daddy Gang, to try to bring a little fun.

back for you. Okay? We're going to try. to make dating feel fun again. And that. is my mission for today's episode. If. you have been feeling hopeless or. overwhelmed with your dating life, then. this episode is for you. I have not. forgotten my single girls, let's get. into it. The whole point of any romantic. experience, whether it's a first date or. a 50-year marriage, is that it's. supposed to make us feel good, right? Like, why do any of us want a partner at.

all? Why do we deal with the ups and the. downs of relationships? It's because at. their core, they're supposed to make our. lives more enjoyable than they would be. just being on our own, right? And if. you're single today, that means that all. of the best relationship milestones are. still ahead of you. The first sleepover, the big first I love yous, the first. trips together, like all of it. meeting. the parents, meeting the friends. Like, there are so many firsts ahead of you.

that I promise you your friends and. long-term relationships are probably. jealous that you still get to look. forward to. Like, if I could rewind and. relive some of the early dates that Matt. and I went on and some of those early. moments, like, I would because you can't. recreate that feeling, right? The early. dating stages can be truly the best time. of your life if you do them right. And yes, I obviously know that dating. intentionally means you probably feel. the pressure and the timelines and.

expectations that I am not ignorant to. But I also know that like anything in. life, when you get so fixated on the. outcome, it can completely negate the. enjoyment that we get to feel along the. way. We're putting too much pressure on. ourselves. And so I think it's time to. lean back into those, you know, the. warm, easy middle school feelings when. all it took to make your entire day was.

just like your crush complimenting your. ugly gauchos and being like, "Damn, Becca, you looking good in those." And. you're like rolling your windows down. blasting. What is the song like? Suddenly I see. and you're like, "Hey, oh, things are turning around." Like, you're so happy. I think that's the. energy we need to start to channel being. in this year. If you are single, we are. going to that is what we're going to do. So, I want to start at the very.

beginning. You're like, "What do you. mean we're starting at the beginning?". I'm not abandoning you guys. Like, we're. getting into the weeds here today. Okay? So, we are going to start with flirting. I'm not going to teach you how to. [ __ ] flirt today. You all know how to. flirt. But I think in my opinion as a. society we are losing the art of. flirting and I refuse to let that. happen. Okay. Flirting has turned into. story likes, fire emojis, swiping right, maybe a DM if we're getting a little.

crazy. No. Okay. In person somehow. flirting has become a rare art form. I. literally was reading, please guys, let. me read this to you. A recent study at. Date Psychology found that 45% of men. ages 18 to 25 have never approached a. woman in person for a date. >> [sighs and gasps]. >> I just like I don't [laughter].

understand. what what like I remember stories like. my mom being like, "Oh my god, your dad. would like call my home phone and like. my parents would pick up being like, "Hi, who are you calling for?" Like you. like you had to call home phones, okay, to like get your date and like the like. this is like people would be there and. listening and like the you have to like. go to their house like knock on the. door, bring the boom box. Meanwhile, it's like double winky face. Sexy.

Oh, you're so [ __ ] done. You're so. [ __ ] done. I think this is what we're. going to have to do. Listen, we could do. a whole episode on how depressing it is. and how men have just like shriveled up. to like almost nothingness, right? That. can be another episode, but that's not. for today. We're trying to stay [ __ ]. positive here. So, if the men are going. to be annoying losers, we need to take. matters into our own hands. Okay? I. remember back when I was single, I used. to go up to seriously like any guy that.

my friends or I thought was hot at the. bar and I would just start flirting with. him. And listen, yes, sometimes it. didn't go exactly as I planned, but like. there were so many instances where I. immediately walked right back to my. friend group and I was like, "Okay, that. that he's not the vibe. He looked hot, but he's actually a [ __ ] loser. On to. the next." But like, who cares? If you. go up and you got rejected, who cares? Like, I Let me just tell you this story, okay? Take me back to Brahman. Oh my.

god. I wonder if it's still open. Okay, we're in like 2016. The year is 2016. I am in college and I. am at a bar in the peak of winter with a. bunch of my girlfriends on the soccer. team and we are in tiny little bodycon. dresses with thick heels and we have. like shaws on. Like we don't even have. [ __ ] coats cuz we're like I can't. afford to lose my [ __ ] coat cuz like. I can't pay for another coat. So, you.

just freeze your ass off in line. Okay, we get inside of Brahman and it is just. heaven. There's men everywhere and all. of us are like giddy. We're like, who. should we go up to? Like, who should we. like try to like make friends with and. make out with and guys should buy us. drinks? And all of a sudden, this is. like kind of never happened to me in my. life, but all of my friends and I see. this man across the bar and it literally. felt like there was like a shimmering. light above his head. It was like a. movie moment. We were all like genuinely. that is one of the hottest men I've ever.

seen. He had like kind of longish hair. with like a beard and he had like big. muscles, but he was like wearing like a. beanie and like he had a suit on and I. was like he's either like a surgeon or. an athlete. Like I can't tell which one. Like he either just like finished a game. or like finished open heart surgery. Either one. Let's bang. And so all my. friends are like that's literally the. hottest guy. And everyone's like who's. going to go up to him? Who's going to go. up to him? Like someone has to go up to. him. like what if he has friends? What. if it's a connection? And we're all. sitting there and all of my friends are.

like, "No, like we're too young. Like. we're just like [ __ ] losers in. college. Like don't I'm not even wor". And I just leave my friends because we. don't have time to worry what people are. going to think about us. I go up to the. bartender. I say, "Do you have a pen?". She's like, "Bitch, do you want a. tequila shot?" I'm like, "A pen, honey.". I get a pen. I take this napkin. I write. my number and my a fake name because at. the time I was thinking that every. single person was an underage cop. That. was like a little trigger of mine cuz I. was obviously underage. I was like oo.

like don't want to like fully give my. name cuz if they asked for my ID. My. name was Catherine. I had my sister's um. ID. It's a whole thing. Whatever. So my. name was Catherine. I'm at the bar. I. write Catherine. I write my number. I go. up to this man. I just beline it. He's. under his glimmering light looking sexy. Oh so gorgeous. Let's [ __ ] And I say to. him hi. And he looks at me like, "Who is. this girl?" And I go, "I just want to. let you know." And I just like would. kick myself if I didn't say this. I just. saw you from across the bar and you're. so [ __ ] hot and I need to introduce.

myself. No pressure. Here you go. Call. me. I start walking away. He grabs my. arm. Yeah. If you haven't had a hookup, just. close your eyes, sit back, relax, and. just let this one pretend it's you. Okay. He grabs my arm. I turn around. This man is looking at me. He goes, "What are you doing? You can't open with. that and then just walk away from me.". I'm like, "Oh, oh my god." Like, "Oh.".

So excited. It's working. He's like, "What's your name?" I'm like, "Catherine." I'm like, "Oh, I'm going to. have to fix that later if this ends up. going anywhere." We start flirting. Oh. my god. Are you here with friends? Yeah. My five girls over there in the corner. We turn. They're all like pretending to. not be staring at us, slurping their. drinks. I'm like, "Are you here with any. friends?" He's like, "Yeah, my two. boys." I'm like, "Oh, what do you do?". He's like, "We just got back from our. game." I'm like, I was like an athlete hunter back then.

It sense obviously past, but back then, oh, I could get a rush. I could get a. rush. It didn't matter really what you. did. If you threw the ball, if you. caught the ball, if you hit the ball, anything with the ball, I was in. And. this happened to be a puck. Okay. Ooh, you guys know what I felt for hockey. players back in the day? those butts. And so I then I'm like, "Oh my god, do. you want to come meet my friends?". Great. Boom. Done. His professional. hockey player friends come over by all. of my friends drinks at Brahman. We hang.

out. I get his number. He gets my. number. We exchange. We text. We're good. to go. And then I have a date with him. Then I obviously can spare you the. details of then when I showed up and he. was like continued to call me Catherine. And I awkwardly had to tell him like I'm. not 21 years old. He still was. interested in me. Is that weird? Maybe. But we'll get into that later. Anyways, the point is, okay, shots, drinks, athletes, fun, men, dicks, vaginas, everyone was happy that night because I.

was like, if this man rejects me, who. cares? Who [ __ ] cares if this man. rejects me? Because I went up to a. couple other guys at the bar, realized. they were freaks, and kept it [ __ ]. moving. But this man ended up giving my. friends and I plans. And although it. didn't work out with him, we only had a. couple dates, still was so fun, still. made me feel alive, still got me a. little oof down there. So, I think the. moral of the story is I could have given. a napkin to 15 guys that night and been.

rejected by 14, but that is okay. It. just takes one. Oh my god, what is that. [ __ ] quote from Cinderella Story? Like something of like, don't let the. shot keep you from playing the game or. so. I don't That's not the quote, but. you guys know what I'm talking about. Don't stop yourselves from believing in. yourselves that who cares if you. embarrass yourself. It's embarrassing. for them to be so socially awkward that. they can't like engage in a conversation. with you and not be a [ __ ] dick, right? You know what I mean? I know. you're all looking good. You're feeling. good. Go for it, daddy gang. And when it.

does click with someone and you go up. and you flirt with a guy, let me just. tell you, and he flirts back and you. just like allow like that chemistry to. flow and the banter is bantering. You're. touching his arm. He's touching your. arm. Buying you drinks. You're getting. his number. It is so much [ __ ] fun. Like that thrill in your body. You're. like, I am on fire. I'm on fire. Like. even if nothing comes after that night, it's also just so much for you, right? Like that energy of like giving yourself.

confidence of like, oh my god, I can. totally do this. And the only thing. between you and having that moment with. a hot guy at the bar is just one getting. over the fear of rejection. two, getting. the [ __ ] out of your house. And three, getting off your your phone and actually. being down to like go up to someone and. be like, "If they reject me, it's fine, but I'm gonna just go for it." Okay. Okay. Are you with me? Are you going to. think about me and Brahmen with the man. under the sun? Okay, guys. I also know. it's like a lot easier said than done. And also, like, weirdly, why did I have.

so much confidence in college? But like, I get it. Like, now when you're out of. college, it's like you overthink things. I get it. Um, but I do think we need to. start just like if you have wherever you. were your highest peak in confidence, get back to that stage. I found an. article. Okay, guys, we are we're not. only talking about dicks over here. We. are educating the masses here on Call. Her Daddy. And don't you ever [ __ ]. forget it. I found an article on NPR. called The Key of Flirting, It's Not.

About You by Andrew, Andrew Limbbong, and Andy Taggle. I want. to share their advice. Okay, let's read. this. One way to ease the fear of. rejection is to view flirting as being. more about the other person than about. you. We get a much better result if. instead of trying to get others to make. us feel good, we actually concentrate on. making them feel good. This takes care. of lingering self-doubt that actually.

presents itself as questions such as, "What if they don't like me?" A lot of. flirting is driven by a focus on the. endgame, maybe trying to get someone's. number or buying someone a drink. This. goal-oriented way of viewing flirting. isn't that helpful. But we're so used to. flirting as a means to an end to the. relationship escalator, which is the. idea that you date someone, enter into a. relationship, get married, have kids, live happily ever after, etc. But if you. remove that goal, you'll hopefully. instead just be looking to create a.

mutually pleasant experience. Instead of. any preconceived goals, aim for a few. minutes of pleasant conversation. that's. much more manageable and can help ease. the pressure of any possible rejection. If all you're hoping to do is make. someone else feel special for a bit, you. really realize you actually can't lose. Open with a question, then test and. assess how they're reacting to you. Remember that flirting isn't about. hitting any preconceived target other. than helping someone else have a good.

time. Okay, I agree and disagree with this article. Like I don't want you guys going in. there being like, [clears throat]. "Todd, tell me everything. Oh my god, Todd, that's amazing." Okay, wait, Todd, tell me more. Like, and you're like, "Okay, I literally just had the worst. [ __ ] date of my life." But I I agree. in the sense of like stop getting in. your own head. Like, just try to connect. with the person. And what I love about. that advice is that it completely takes. the pressure off of this big moment with. someone. Like maybe they flirt with you.

or maybe they don't, but it doesn't. actually matter if you reframe the. interaction as just being about having a. nice conversation. Like shift the. flirting mentality from worrying like do. they like me? Do they think I'm hot? Are. they having a good time? Like that is. going to be such a game changer for your. headsp space when you are approaching. someone. Rejection is going to happen. It is inevitable. It comes with the. territory. But like everything in. dating, that's just a numbers game. Okay. You also never know what's going.

on in a person's head and rejection. usually isn't even about you. Like you. have to keep in mind maybe this guy is. out drinking because his [ __ ] dog. just died and he's really sad. So you. hitting on him being like come here. often. He's going to be like no but my. [ __ ] dog said in his head but he's. not going to say that. Then he's just. going to be a dick to you. Okay. That's. the reason he was dick but you would. never know that. Like if the person you. go talk to isn't into it, then just move. along to the next. Like all you're.

looking for here is just like a fun. chat. And if someone can't provide that, then goodbye to them. We're moving on to. the next. Okay? Let's just have fun. No. stakes, no nothing. Like enjoy yourself. What a const. Let's start there because. clearly we are we are bare [ __ ]. minimum right now, guys. These men are. giving us nothing. And if you're like, Alex, no. That is it's just too scary. like I just, you know, I want to sit in. the corner and like wait for a man to. come up to me. Then maybe let's start. with a lower stakes situation. Okay, I.

want you to just start by engaging with. other normal human beings everywhere you. go. I understand. Again, this is like, what do you [ __ ] mean, Alex? Like, of. course I interact with human beings on a. daily basis. Do you though? Like, I'm. not saying I want you guys out there. flirting with everyone in the world. I. just mean truly practicing being more. open in the mundane daily moments of. your life. When's the last time you.

complimented someone in line at the. coffee shop? When's the last time you. stried up a conversation with your. co-worker in the kitchen? Okay, while. they're toasting their bagel. Chat with. the person sitting next to you on the. airplane. Okay, I already regret. skipping that example. Not for too long, okay? Read the [ __ ] room. chat to. them before takeoff and then shut the. [ __ ] up because it's my worst nightmare. Someone's trying to talk to me while I'm. on a plane. I'm like, "Oh, you're going. to be chatty today. Headphones on, shut. the [ __ ] up." But do you know what I. mean? Like, I'm saying that you need to.

build up that social muscle when you're. in situations with zero stakes so that. when you meet someone you're actually. interested in, it's not as intimidating. to get the ball rolling. And let me be. so clear. I know this sounds maybe so. [ __ ] stupid and simple, but I promise. you it's not at this point because. social skills have become something that. we do need to practice at this day and. age. Okay? Social media has completely. taken over all of our brains, all of our. world. We literally sit there and scroll. and we feel like we know people and we.

feel like we understand people and we're. like, "Oh, I know her. Oh, I follow. her." You don't know any of these. people, even if it's your friend. No. Did you call her? Have you texted her in. a while? If not, you don't know any of. these people and you're just like. playing a video game. Okay. I feel like. we used to be able to actually talk to a. wall. I guess I am still sitting here. alone talking to a wall right now. But. do you guys know what I mean? Like I. feel like I could back in the day make. small talk with anyone, but even now I. realize like I'm out in the world. sometimes and I'm like, "Oh my god, am I.

being awkward?" Like I'm having like. weird like is that a weird interaction? Cuz I'm on my [ __ ] phone all the. time. Like even just with a barista or. something like I find myself being so in. moments awkward and I'm like Alex I need. to put my phone away. I need to stop. being obsessed with social media and. watching everyone's lives like touch. grass or I don't know go talk to someone. face to face, okay? Like close enough. that you can see the pores in their. face. I just think technology has.

changed the way that we interact with. the world around us. And it's it's not. our fault cuz that's just what's. happening around us. But it is then. truly on us to retrain our brains of how. to engage with someone face to face, especially. when it comes to dating. And I know it. sucks, trust me. Like, I'm so jealous of. my parents. I'm like, the way that your. generation had it, like the romance and. the build and the in-person meetings and. the Oh, oh, oh, yeah. Take me back to. the notebook days. Like, their biggest.

problem was like they couldn't get in. touch with each other. Oh. [screaming]. Oh. Little mystery. A little Ooh. Like. it's not even ghosting. It's just. distance. Oh. Like Yeah. Yeah. And now. it's like we're on Snapchat talking to. each other. We're on Snapchat, but we'll. never meet up. We're just going to. Snapchat until this whole thing [ __ ]. lingers and then dies out. No. If you. are messaging a man on Snapchat, knock. it off. We're done. We're [ __ ] done.

Okay. I think it's just helpful to work. on that social muscle so that you're. ready when there is someone that you're. actually interested in. You're like, "Oh. my god, here we [ __ ] go." So, let's. say you do meet someone in person. Let's. let's start there, okay? What a concept. We meet someone that we actually like. and they're not a complete loser and. they're not a complete psychopath. Then. you're able to strike up conversation. with them and it feels like things are. going well from there, right? Classic. flirting. Boom. Like, we're ready. But. remember, if someone cannot hold a fun.

conversation, that is not a reflection. of you as a person. And when it clicks. and the vibes are there, try not to. worry so much if you're being funny. enough or if you're being cute enough, if you're being hot enough, like the fun. of it is just being just be present in. the moment. Be your [ __ ] self. Okay, so now we're leaving our cages. We're. leaving our dungeons. We're seeing the. sunlight. We're meeting men. We're out. there. Okay, the next stage that I want. us to discuss is the one that is. inevitable. It is important is something.

that I know a lot of you may absolutely. dread, but I promise it has the. potential to be a night you will never. forget. Let's get into a first date. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by. Tinder. Ladies, we all have the group. chat that goes into high alert when. someone has a date. You're sending. outfit options, maybe the restaurant. menu to strategically plan your order, and you're dropping his profile one last. time for final group chat approval. Then. the second that date is over, you're.

basically hosting your very own podcast. in the car home, sending a 12minute. voice memo recap of literally everything. that went down. So, it's like your best. friends were right there with you. That's the exact energy behind the new. Tinder double date. You don't have to. wait for the postdate debrief because. you're already sitting next to your best. friend reacting in real time. Instead of. going into a first date alone, you and. your best friend match with another pair. to meet up together. So now you're. there, you're observing, taking mental.

notes, you know, making eye contact. across the table, maybe kicking each. other underneath the table, just like. feeling things out. You know what I. mean? the pressure is way lower and the. whole thing feels way less like an. interview and more like another fun. night out. Double date is about getting. to experience dating side by side from. your first impressions to the immediate. recap. Maybe it turns into a second date. or maybe it's just a chaotic night that. you'll be laughing about for years. Either way, you are in it together. Dating is just better when your best.

friend is a part of it. Try the new. Tinder Double Date. It starts with a. swipe. Download Tinder today. I get why. first dates might be so hard to look. forward to. It's a whole thing. You're. like, "I got to get ready. I have to. leave my house again." To all of us. trolls, no, no, no. This is a good thing. that we're being forced to leave our. house, but you don't know if you're. going to click with this person, right? It could be awkward. Like, you're just. like, "Oh my god, I'm kind of like. meeting a stranger and like I don't want. this to be a total waste of time. Great. Okay." But if you're going into a first. date with the energy of uh here we go.

again, ju like, "I just got to get. through this." then that headsp space is. going to completely affect the entire. date experience. So, fake it, okay? It's. probably going to be a lot harder to. vibe with someone when you're. approaching meeting them where you're. like, "This is a task that I have to get. through and I'm already thinking that. you're going to be worse than the last. So, let's just get this over with so I. can tell my friends, I went on a [ __ ]. date." No. Instead, ladies and. gentlemen, I want to reintroduce like. romanticizing your [ __ ] life. Okay? You need to be romanticizing and.

enjoying every element of a first date. experience. Starting before you even. leave the house when you are getting. ready. Let's turn on one of our favorite. songs. Let's catch up on some shows we. haven't watched. FaceTime a friend. Okay. Take that long everything shower. that makes you feel oh so amazing that. you had to do regardless of the date. Okay. Blow out your hair. Put in an. outfit you haven't had a chance to wear. yet. Try on your new lip combo. Do. everything you need to do to feel your.

absolute best. A first date is an. important opportunity to like take a. boring normal week night. Turn it into. something to actually look forward to. Okay. A random Tuesday in your cubicle. is a lot less terrible when you know. that the night is going to end with you. potentially just looking so well, you're. going to look there's no potential. You're going to look gorgeous and you're. going to potentially meet someone new. Okay? It's good to have a different. experience than you usually would just. like sitting at home. We're watching. Hulu or Netflix again. And here we go. Episode 457 of Grey's Anatomy. Trust me,

girls, I love a good Grae, but we can. pause. We can pause for one night of the. week. I also know it can often feel. like, okay, [ __ ] I'm getting ready for. nothing. Okay, I don't want to spend I. don't want to put my expensive. foundation on this gorgeous skin for a. man that isn't [ __ ] I don't want to. waste it, okay? I don't want to end up. crying in the bathroom and crying all my. gorgeous makeup off because what the. [ __ ] I don't want to waste a night. I. don't want to waste a night. Is it worth.

it? Because Nicholas last week talked to. me about his obsession with toenails and. I was like, I'm never going another date. again. And then the guy before. Frankquad, he literally was talking. about he like likes like mommy daughter. porn. Like I'm not I'm not feeling it. And I so get that Nicholas and Farquad. like Farquad Frockad whatever. Frogger. and Nicholas they don't exist. They were. losers. But there could be a good one. tonight. And so you have to just go in. with that mentality. Even if you're.

lying, lie to yourself. You can lie to. yourself and just get yourself through. it because here's what I will say. When. you put makeup on and you put your. outfit on, you feel good. You're not. going to just waste it on a date, okay? Because we're going to we're going to. build a shield around that. When I used. to go on first dates, I'd be like, I've. never been more gorgeous. Okay, this. outfit slay. [gasps] I am worthy of. someone noticing me tonight. Even if. it's not the [ __ ] date I'm going. with. And so what I would do is I would.

always plan a drinks before my drinks. with the person I was going to meet up. with. I would go meet a friend. So I'm. like even if I just went out with a. girlfriend and then have a [ __ ] date. later, doesn't matter. I got to see my. friend. So plan something. Or if like. you know your friends are going out. later, you're not wasting your outfit. Try to have things around. Also get a. [ __ ] selfie. Okay. Do a little. pregame. Okay. Get a ketchup drink with. a friend over your FaceTime. Like, I. don't care. Don't just be like, "I'm. just going on a date and if it doesn't. work out, I'm gonna rip my extensions.

out in the [ __ ] cab on my way home. I'm gonna cry. I'm going to rip my. eyelashes off. I'm going to put them on. the cab door and I'm going to go. upstairs and I'm going to watch the. notebook and cry my eyes out being like, "Why don't I have a Noah." No. We have a. full calendar when we have nights of a. date. Do you understand what I'm saying? You're setting yourself up for success. So, when it comes to a first date, I've. obviously been out of the first date. game for a little bit. So, I when I was. preparing for this episode, I did a deep. dive on TikTok to see what advice people. were sharing for first dates. And you.

guys, I was horrified. I was absolutely. horrified. I was shocked. I was. disgusted. I was like, I no wonder. people hate [ __ ] dating right now. Like I came across video after video of. rules of what you should do and you. should not be doing on a first date. And. I fear we have completely lost the plot. on what it actually means to be seeking. a connection with someone. Because look, I know these rules are coming from a. good place. Like people don't want to be. wasting their time and everyone is.

looking for ways to optimize the. experience of meeting someone. But in my. opinion, the rules are where the fun. parts of the first date go to absolutely. die. We have to find some nuance and. balance here. I am going to tell you the. top four rules that I kept seeing over. and over and over and then I need to. discuss and tell you why I disagree with. almost every single one of them. Okay, number one they said was to go to the. same place for every first date so you. can eliminate any external variables.

Okay, we'll get to that. Number two is. to never get any food on a first date. Only get drinks. Okay, we'll get to. that. Number three is to set a twohour. time limit for a first date. [clears throat]. And number four is to never kiss them at. the end of a first date. Okay. Well, um here's. here's here's what I have to say to. that. No wonder dating feels like a. [ __ ] chore. We're stripping out all.

the excitement and the joy when we start. overanalyzing and strategizing to that. extent. Let's start with the first rule, which is go to the same place every time. you go on a date. Okay, I understand the. idea of being like, I know the place and. like I know the lighting and I I know. where the bathroom is and I know the. parking situation and like I know. exactly what to order. Like you're just. trying to be fully comfortable. I get. that. But doing this, I think that. completely eliminates the opportunity to. use a first date as one trying something.

new. Think about it. you have a whole. night blocked off with someone who is. potentially willing to do whatever you. suggest, right? Or also potentially a. horrible [ __ ] first date, so you. might as well get something out of it. and like at least go try the new [ __ ]. Thai place down the street. Okay, you're. like, "This guy is so this, oh my god, he's so [ __ ] boring, but like, god. damn, this tie [ __ ] is good." Or like. mini golfing and then you can whack him. in the [ __ ] face with the ball. Like. there's options for mobility here. If.

the date is going horribly, at least. they're you're trying the cool new bar. down the place that you can fine, scout. out for your next date and then go there. one more time. But like, use the first. date as a way to try something you. normally wouldn't do on your own. And. then how about it? Oh my god, so cool if. he ends up actually being [ __ ] normal. and not a miserable [ __ ] That way, yes, the date can go horrible and you never. can see that person again, but you're. like, got it. I actually just had a good. time. In my opinion, the unknown. elements of a first date are part of the. fun, guys. It's like you need to.

stimulate all of your senses to get that. sense of excitement. You're seeing new. things. You're smelling new foods. You're trying new drinks. Do not go to. the same [ __ ] place every time you're. going on a date. It is going to feel. like you're back in your cubicle and. you're like, "Bring the next one in, Marty." And it's like, "Oh my god, oh my. god, no." Then you're like not even. You're not even having to get anxious. for it. You're like, "Barb, bring me to. the back table. Bring them in." It's. like, "What do you mean? What do you. mean?" No, you can you can go to the.

same place twice. Maybe if you're if you. got a roster, like fine, go twice. But. other than that, switch it up for your. own sanity, babe. Okay. Also, I think. that like new spots can just like help. you get out of your head a bit. Like, get get the [ __ ] out. Like, we're not. going to [ __ ] Frank's Diner every. single [ __ ] time. Like, I get it. You. like to go to Denny's. Go to Denny's. with your [ __ ] family every Sunday. Don't do it every [ __ ] time you're. going on a date. Number two, which is. just get drinks. Never dinner. Um, let me just say something and I have.

to reiterate again. The whole point is. to have fun on a date, okay? Eating is. fun. Don't let the internet tell you. otherwise. Trying new foods, going to. new restaurants is fun. Why are we. denying ourselves one of the best parts. of the experience? If some of you going. to say, "Cuz I don't want to get stuck. there." Like, I like I don't want to. like, you know, I don't want to eat in. front of this person. What if I got. stuff in my teeth? Well, if he doesn't. like you with a little bit of [ __ ]. spinach in your upper right tooth, babe, he's not gonna [ __ ] like you when he. splooes all over your [laughter] face.

Ignore me. You know what I mean? They. need to see you in your best and your. worst. Okay? So, eat in front of this. man if you're [ __ ] hungry. Now, if it. just happens to be drinks, it happens to. be drinks. But don't be like gunning for. the drinks. He's like, "Do you want to. order some appetizers?" You're like, "No, Tik Tok told me that I can only. drink on a date." Like, no. No. Is this. man going to never see you eat in the. entire course of your relationship? No. Why are we not letting ourselves do it. when the stakes are the absolute [ __ ]. lowest? Now, I think people could assume.

like you just don't want to be trapped. on the date. You know, food makes you. like linger a little bit longer. Then. again, why are we going on a first date. with the mentality of just getting in. and out? That's not the mindset of. someone looking to having an amazing. night. And also, I have up and left at. appetizers, babe. Okay, I have I have up. and left. If you are having that. calamari and he is saying ruthless [ __ ]. you get up, you slurp your Shirley. Temple down and you get the [ __ ] out of. there. You don't need to stay. Food. doesn't mean, "Babe, you're locked in.

Handcuffs on, seated, 3 hours full. course. Let's make it to the Sunday.". You don't have to do that. You can. leave. Free will. Free [ __ ] will. Um, which leads me to number three. Okay. Setting a 2hour time limit for the date. Uh, literally, why? Especially if you're. having a good time with someone, you're. like, "Clocked it. Got to go." He's. like, "Wait, why? I thought we were. having fun." You're like, "It hit that. 2hour limit. Got a buggy." Like, no. One. of my best friends just became official. with her boyfriend. And their first date.

was supposed to be just like grabbing. drinks and then it turned into a full. night bar crawl. They literally hit a. ton of different spots all around the. town. They were like, "Boom, boom, boom." Now they're dating. Oh my god, guess how long that date was? Basically. [ __ ] 5 hours. Oh my god. Look, it. worked out. Tik Tok. Good things come. when you let yourself enjoy them. Allow. yourself to just be a little bit more. open and not be these strict guidelines. Boom, boom, boom. I get it if you're. like wanting to keep a little bit of. like the mystery and you're just sitting. at dinner and you're like, "All right, we need to like wrap this up just cuz.

it's like we shouldn't go on hour 4. We. shouldn't go on hour three." Like having. the 2-hour window of like feeling. comfortable to leave after a normal. amount of time. Yes, but don't don't be. like setting your alarm [laughter]. and the alarm goes off and you're like, "That's time, Jim. I'll I'll be in. touch." Like, I swear to God. I swear to. God, Daddy gang, do not set a [ __ ]. alarm on your date. Um, this takes me to. rule. number four. I think it was number four. And this makes me the most annoyed. The.

most annoyed. [gasps and sighs] And. maybe I was just a little [ __ ] you. know, but I do believe I had it right on. this one. When people on TikTok are. saying no kissing, no kissing on a first. date. No, I completely disagree with you. I. complete How about this? Also, no no. kissing on a first date. Well, sometimes. I [ __ ] them on the first date. How. about that one, Tik Tok? Um, how about I let him eat me out on. the first date and I married him. No, I'm just kidding. He didn't eat me out. That was like the second time. But, okay, listen.

If you are going to say to yourself in. the mirror before you go on that first. date, baby, you will not accept a kiss. You will not even accept a hug. What are. we doing? What are we doing? Like, you're skipping the most fun and. romantic and magical part of having a. great date with someone. Like, like, get. in there. Like, if a first kiss feels. right, it feels right. The first kiss at. the end of the date is seriously what. they write movies about and songs and. books, okay? And what I dream about cuz. it's one of the most exciting romantic. human experiences that you can possibly. have. You do not need to be denying.

yourself pleasure to prove some. arbitrary point to be like, "Did you. kiss him?" You're like, they're like, "Good girl. Good girl." Get your [ __ ]. lips in there. Both. If you want, let me. tell you a story. Um, I've told the. story many times. I'll make it quick. Matt and I, I went in there not knowing. who this man is. I'm like, "Oh, this. Hollywood man, movie producer, what's he. going to be about?" Slowly fell in love. First night, I was like, "Oh my god, I. want to [ __ ] this man." Unfortunately, my sister was staying with me in the. same hotel room. So, like I probably.

would have let him upstairs and in my. legs, but like I didn't because my. sister was up there, but I can't I came. across like I wasn't willing to give it. up on the first date. Whatever. The. point is is I went to the bathroom. We're leaving. We're going to the car. after our full long two plus hour date, may I add. And he texts me to come to. the back of the restaurant to go the. back way. And I walk down the long alley. and I see him under the little light in. the back and he grabs my face and he. pushes me up against the wall in the. back of the parking lot and he starts.

making out with my face and I came in my. pants. I was like, "This is this is what. dreams this is what dreams are made of.". I come to LA, I meet this man, he grabs. me by the back of my neck, puts his. hands on my hips, puts his tongue down. my throat, puts me in his car, and is. like, "Where to next?" Yeah, [ __ ] me. Like that. Even if I never saw Matt. again, I've had so many dates where like. I had great first date kisses and I was. like, "Oh my god, I'm never calling.

you." But oh, who doesn't love a make. out? Like make outs are so fun. Okay. And so kiss them the first date, [ __ ]. sleep with them the first night. Like, I. don't care. You have to go based on what. feels good to your body and what feels. right to you. And so if you have some. [ __ ] friends that are prudes that are. like, "You should never kiss on the. first date. You're going to give them. the wrong impression and they're just. going to think you're a whore." Okay, maybe for you, Cassandra, but I'm about. to let him in my back door on [laughter]. night.

You don't have to do anal on night two, BUT YOU COULD. Whatever feels right. You. have to be at your core centered with. what feels right to you and your body. and what you want to do. And if you want. to [ __ ] or you want to make out or how. about this? If you don't want to kiss on. the first date and that is your mo, great. But don't just be like googling. like what to do on first date. No. kissing. Got it. Check. No. If a man is. going to treat you like a piece of [ __ ].

and isn't going to call you, he's not. going to treat you like a piece of [ __ ]. just cuz you [ __ ] him or made out with. him on the first night, a man knows, okay? And guess what? Stop giving all. the man the power and so should you. Maybe make out with him so you stop. wasting your time. What if little Robbie. has got a [ __ ] tonger that hits the. back of your esophagus and you hate the. way he makes out? Or what if like small. lipped Sammy is like barely gets a. little tongue in there and you're like I. can't even [ __ ] find. We're just.

hitting teeth. You're probably not going. to want to [ __ ] Sammy. But good to know. that you got it done on the first date. We're maximizing our time, people. You. want to not have a 2-hour date. I'd. rather have a 4-hour date, quick make. out, know he's not the one, never see. him again, so I can then optimize my. time to not have a second date with. small lip Sammy. >> [sighs]. >> Is that how we have to be thinking? Okay, we have to be thinking this way. Your friends and long-term. relationships, I would be begging. I.

would be begging to relive that night. with Matt. Oh, push me up against the. wall. Sometimes they do. Let's pretend. it's our first date. Okay, you have the. power. You, as a single woman, have the. power to be completely having these. romantic nights. And guess what? Even if. he's not that romantic, make it [ __ ]. romantic for yourself. Literally believe. that it was romantic. And then don't. call him. Who cares? Get a make out. Get. a make out. Okay. I'm sure you have like six guys on. Hinge right now and that would be. willing to take you out next week. And. so I think that you should embrace it.

and I think you should just start taking. them all down. Not like that, but you. know what I mean. Just start trying. Start trying. So first dates, I think. it's a win. I think it's a try new. places, enjoy the food. And let me say. this, something that I think is so. underrated when it comes to getting. yourself out there and enjoying yourself. and dating is like. I love being married. I love being in a. committed relationship. I love Matt. Put. that aside. That's not fun to talk. about.

When I think back to some of the. biggest, funnest nights of my life, it. was living in New York City. It was. going on crazy dates with men. And it. was like me just being in this like. reckless time in my life. And so I do. think that something you need to think. about when you are in the dating world. is like do it for the plot is not. actually that dumb of a statement. Okay, I know it's overused, but like when I. look back so much of my fun nights, even. if they did end in tears or heartbreak.

or whatever, that's the [ __ ] I remember. now sitting here in my 30s as a married. woman. Like what I would give to like. quickly live one of those nights. Well, I don't know because like my back hurts. and like I don't want to go to the clubs. and sit. But like I like to like relive. them in my head. You know what I mean? Like you're in that stage right now. where you're like going to the club and. you're going to the bar and you're. meeting the guy or you're done with the. clubs and you're like going to the. dinners and you're getting whined and. dine. Even if it's a disaster of a. [ __ ] story, the way that you are. going to look back on these life.

experiences that were so wild, these men. that you met, these women that you met. that are you're just like, "How was this. my life?" I'm telling you guys, don't. hold yourself back from those. opportunities because one day when you. do find your partner and if you want. kids one day and the stories you're. gonna have and the life that you're. going to live, it's so much better than. being like, I was too afraid to take. that guy out of the dating app or to go. up to that guy at the bar and to. actually like make something of it. And. so I just ended up sitting and I watched. nine [ __ ] seasons of Vampire Diaries.

over and over until I could recite all. the lines. That will always be there. All of your shows will always be there. your books will always be there. Your. comforter will always be there, but like. these opportunities won't. And so, like, sacrifice one night if you're tired and. go out and have the [ __ ] date. Go for. it. Because I genuinely believe when I. look back, what made me so confident as. a woman was a lot of these really weird. experiences I went through and some were. not enjoyable. And in the moment, I was.

sleeping in the bathtub crying my eyes. out. I don't know why I was in the. bathtub for dramatic effect, obviously, but think about that. That's how drama I. was back then. I was like, "Oh my god, I'm single and I'm dating and these men, they're breaking my heart." Like, how. fun is that? I wouldn't I'm not going to. cry in the bathroom anymore. Okay. Um, so it's like allowing yourself to also. be present in what part of your life. you're in. Allowing yourself to. recognize that being single is such a. blessing. It's such an opportunity to.

learn things about yourself, to. experience things with people, even if. they are negative. Like, you're going to. become a stronger, better person. And I. do genuinely believe that there is no. [ __ ] way that I would have been ready. for a Matt Kaplan had I not gone through. the amount of nights in the [ __ ] Acme. Basement and Beiju [clears throat]. Bar and One Oak and like all of these. different places and all the different. bars and clubs that I went to and with.

men and or met men there. What came from. meeting those people and and the dates. and the trips and all of it. I had to go. through all of that to then. mature, learn what I wanted, learn what. I hated, learn what I what I wouldn't. put up with, learn certain things on a. first date that I'm like, "Oh, that's. another flag that that other guy taught. me that I know I don't like. I'm up. I'm. leaving. Bye." Or, "Oh my god, I've. never felt this way on a first date. This is a good sign. I'm going to do a. second date." Like, you learn so much. about yourself. And then when I met.

Matt, I felt like I knew that first. night because I had never met anyone. like him and I had never felt anything. like that before. And I had dated so. many [ __ ] losers. I had gone on so. many bad dates. I've told you guys, I. think the story of like the guy that. like literally used me and he was. engaged and he just wanted to see like. what it was like to go on a date with. the caller daddy girl and I was like. fully there for an experiment and I. thought I really liked this guy and then. it turned into like I was getting fully. conned and I was like, "Oh my god, like. this is so embarrassing." Like I've just.

gone through so many weird things as you. all have where you can close your eyes. and picture all the [ __ ] losers. But I promise you to find the positive. Sometimes those losers are literally the. best thing to continue to build your. backbone and to continue to build your. arsenal of exactly what you want. So. when you find your Matt Kaplan or when. you find your whatever whoever that man. is, it's so glaringly obvious. But had I. met Matt when I was 22, I would have. never been ready for Matt because I. wouldn't have appreciated all the.

amazing things that he brought to me. because I had to go through the [ __ ]. dog [ __ ] I had to be like, "This man. [ __ ] me over and this man did it.". Like, I swear. I swear it makes me. appreciate Matt 10 times more that I had. all these like really horrible dates to. be like, [sighs]. "Thank God I [ __ ] found you." I say. that to that man like at least once a. week. Like, thank God I found you, Matt. And the only reason I'm able to say, "Thank God I found you," is cuz I found. a hell of a lot of [ __ ] trolls. underneath the bridge and thought they.

were princes and then they turned out to. be Gollum. Okay? And I was like, "Oh my. god." And I had to experience that. And. you guys do too. So although dating. sometimes, listen, it's not going to be. 80% positive dates and 20% negatives. I. get it. Sometimes it's 70% negative. But. that's also why finding your partner one. day is that much sweeter. The effort. that you put into dating, the effort you. put into being single, the effort you.

put into working on yourself, not. self-centering around the men in your. life, you're like, "Who am I? What do I. like? What do I deserve? I have high. standards now. I know what I want." That. builds and builds and builds so that the. when you do find that right person, you're ready for them. They're ready for. you. and you're you know what you're. ready to accept and what you're not. willing to put up with. And so get out. there to all my single ladies who maybe. you have been taking a hiatus. That is. so fair and that's so fine. But do not. let yourself continue to get upset over.

oh but I see like turn off also social. media. That's been the best [ __ ]. thing ever. I like posts. I turn it off. Everyone is so [ __ ] negative. I'm. sorry but everyone's so negative on. social media giving their thing pieces. of why dating [ __ ] sucks in 2026. Well, guess what? We're alive in 2026. What are we going to do about it? What. are we going to do about it? Be [ __ ]. victims and have victim mentality. Like, this sucks so much. All right. Well, get. off your [ __ ] phone and just go and. try and try and try and try cuz I I. promise you something good is going to.

come of it. So, change your attitude. I'm always here. I'm I'm literally at. the [ __ ] front lines with you. You. are not alone. You've got this. Sometimes we just need to remind. ourselves that we're letting the. internet soak into us too much and we're. letting ourselves create this negative. narrative around something that guess. what? If it was supposed to be so. [ __ ] easy, everyone would have. perfect relationships and everyone would. be [ __ ] happy and perfect and and. would be a boring [ __ ] life. You need. to do the [ __ ] hard work to actually.

get something that is worth the [ __ ]. hard work. Nothing [ __ ] great is. easy, okay? You got to work for that. [ __ ]. Thank you for coming to my TED talk. And. to all my single girlies. Get that [ __ ] selfie, [ __ ] Cuz I. know you're hitting that cut crease. You're overlining that lip a little bit. You got that highlighter. Boom. Get the. selfie. If all goes to [ __ ] get the. [ __ ] selfie before the first date. And tag me. Going on my first date.

Boom. Hot [ __ ] Love you. All right, Daddy gang. That is it for this week's. episode. Um, I hope to God that. this inspired some of you because I a. lot of times and I always tell you guys. this like a lot of times I just think. from my own perspective of like what. would I have needed? And although I. loved dating and going out, I do. genuinely think that I really remember. some times where I just really struggled. to be like I think I need a break. And.

again, like that's fair, but. it's almost like right when you're done. with it is when you need to just get. back at it. Get back on the [ __ ]. horse. And so, I love you guys. I know. it's not easy out there. I also know. like men [ __ ] suck right now. And. it's just like but I promise you there. are some good ones out there and you. just have to really [ __ ] look. And I. know it sucks that we have to be like. digging in the weeds to like find not. even a diamond just like you know like a. little like copper metal or like just.

like a little something. But you you are. smart and brave enough to weather the. [ __ ] storm ladies. So Daddy gang, I. love you so much and I will see you. [ __ ] on Wednesday. Goodbye. [music]. >> [music].