Madison Beer: Blackmailed With My Nudes (Full Episode)

What is up, daddy gang? It is your. founding father, Alex Cooper, with Call. Her Daddy. >> Madison Beer, welcome to Caller Daddy. >> Thank you. >> I am so happy that we're finally doing. this. I know you and I have like kind of. talked before. We were like, we need to. make it happen and now we're here. >> We're here. >> It feels right. Thank you for coming. today. >> Thank you for having me. I'm going to. get into it and explain just like a. little little recap of things that have.

happened. Okay. >> At 13 years old, you got your first. record deal after Justin Bieber posted a. video on the internet from YouTube of. you singing a cover and it went viral. And ever since then, you have been in. the public eye. You have over 35 plus. million followers on Instagram, millions. on Tik Tok, millions all over every. platform. [laughter]. Crazy. Um, and you're constantly a topic. of conversation on the internet, >> unfortunately.

>> I was gonna say, which I don't know. Like, do you love it? Do you hate it? >> Definitely don't love it. It's not fun. always. Sometimes it's fun. Sometimes. when when people are nice, it's fun, >> but people are not usually nice to you. >> No, the internet is a dark, scary place. >> You just released your memoir, The Half. of It. >> Yeah. And I am so happy for you because. again I feel like. >> the internet has a way to like. dehumanize people to come up with. narratives and storylines and like it.

really was powerful reading your book. I. read the whole thing. It's you talk. about a lot of personal moments and. events in your life that I think give us. a better insight into who you are. sitting here today and how you got here. So we're going to get into it. >> Thank you. >> Here we go. Let's go back to the. beginning to kind of just like start. from start from scratch. Okay. >> You grew up in Long Island. >> I did. >> What is like a core childhood memory of. yours that's happy and you like smile.

when you think back on it? >> I always think about summer camp in a. really positive way, which wasn't in. Long Island. It was like in upstate New. York, but it was always just sort of. yeah like an escape obviously from. school all the time and like my parents. were going through a divorce. It was. nice to just have a summer to myself. essentially. Like my parents used to. always joke and say that like I was the. first kid on the bus and the last kid. off and at visiting day kids were like. wrapped around their parents' ankles. begging them not to leave and I was just. like is it over yet? Can you guys go? And I don't know. It was just sort of. like my escape place. I lived for camp.

So that's definitely my happy place when. I think back to my childhood. >> That's a very cute memory. When you say. it was your escape place, I know you. mentioned your parents got divorced when. you were seven. >> Yeah. I think sometimes like divorce is. so common, but I feel like people forget. that like it can really shape who you. are. >> How did your parents divorce affect you. growing up? >> I feel like for me, I spent a lot of. time trying to protect my little brother. cuz he was really really young at the.

time. He was like four or five. Um, and. I remember just wanting to make sure he. was okay. And obviously the change of. like bouncing back and forth every 2 3. days was weird and hard, but I don't. know, my main focus was him at the time. Um, so I don't feel like I really dealt. with it. And then I actually quickly. sort of became. like a mediator in not even their. relationship, like in my dad's. relationships with new women or my mom. and my dad. I was really lucky that my. parents were able to sort of still have.

a relationship and be on good terms in. the same room. I have friends I grew up. with whose parents couldn't even speak. So, I was very grateful for that. But I. think that that was sort of the. beginning of aging me really quickly and. growing up really fast. Um because I was. just put in sort of adult positions. really young. When you talked about also. like being a mediator, I'm also thinking. like I think every time a kid's worst. nightmare is like who the [ __ ] is going. to be my stepmom or my stepdad? Like.

>> multiple. >> Okay, there you go. Like was it hard for. you to see like your father dating new. women and like was that like a weird. dynamic for you? My dad's going to kill. me for talking about this. Love you, dad. Um it was really really weird and. really really hard and I think it was um. hard in ways that my dad. It's I think. okay to contextualize growing up I think. we all have that moment of like whoa our. parents are people weird. >> Okay so that's like a moment that I. think you have at some point. Now when I.

talk about this, I do look back as a man. going through a divorce who was going. through a difficult time and I empathize. with him in those ways, but at the same. time I look at myself and I'm like I did. have to see sort of this like he's going. to kill me this like revolving door of. women and there was a lot of people and. you know there was things that I just. sort of like had to see whether it was. like him kissing someone or even having. his arm around someone that was weird. and of course I was very protective of. my mom and didn't want her to be hurt of. course. >> and it was hard for sure. And my dad got.

remarried um once but kind of twice. Like he he had a very serious like six, seven year long relationship after his. second wife. But it was hard. It. definitely also instilled abandonment. issues in me very very young because I. would develop this relationship with. this woman who I sort of was like, "Oh, you you were like kind of my second. mom." And I was actually into it because. I enjoyed having these relationships. with these like new women. It was fun. And then they would I would just never. see them again. And it was really hard.

And I do look back and think that that. is like a lot of why I have maybe these. like attachment abandonment issues. Yeah. >> I also appreciate you saying like my dad. is going to kill me. I think it's a. really weird it's [ __ ] weird. Like. trust me I sit here and I've talked. about family members and I'm like what. the [ __ ] And I but weirdly on the other. end and I'm sure you felt this through. your music and writing like I can. imagine the amount of young women. listening being like I'm in it right now. Madison. Like one of my parents is going. through it. And it's not even to judge.

the parent again because we're almost. now going to get to the age where we're. the parent and our kids are like, "You. [ __ ] me up." But you can never get. over what you saw at a young age. We're. so impressionable. Anything we see that. doesn't fully make sense to us and isn't. like cut and dry, it can affect you and. you absorb it and it becomes who you. are. I literally have a song about my. dad on my album and it was sort of. uncomfortable cuz I the first time I. played it for him, we were in like a big. label meeting with like 30 people and I. wanted everyone to know that it was. about my dad because it's quite a.

beautiful song. I kind of am at a place. where I'm like it's okay to write a song. that maybe is like negative cuz this is. like a sliver of my experience with my. dad and he actually took it well. He he. liked it. He was like it's beautiful. >> Wait, what is the song? >> Um it's a song on my album. >> Can you tell us the song name or no? M. It starts with an A. That's all I'll. say. >> Okay. Okay, that's [laughter] enough. That's enough. >> That's all I'll say. >> Call Her Daddy is brought to you by. [music] Tinder. All right, let's talk. about Tinder. Or better yet, let's talk. about the early days euphoria that comes.

with having a new crush. [music] The. kind of crush where you've been maybe. down bad, but in the best way. Okay, you. cannot stop thinking about them. Every. single song reminds you of them, and you. are making up scenarios about them in. your head. There's kind of nothing. better, right? Well, amazing news. That. crush feeling is waiting for you on. Tinder. Like literally right now, you. have no idea what is out there unless. you start looking. And Daddy Gang, the. possibilities are endless. Once you have.

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traumatic experiences that you. experienced in your rise of fame and. your career. When you were only 15 years. old, you had a nude video leaked and. spread across the internet. Yep. Can you take us back to that moment, Madison, of like when do you remember. finding out that this got leaked and was. spreading? Um, it's unfortunately a. memory I'll never be able to shake. It's.

remained so vividly to the point where. like I still to this day if I get a call. in the middle of the night, it's I'm. back. I'm 15 again and I'm in my room. and I'm finding out that this video is. out there and it's really scary. Um, so yeah. So I, yeah, I was 15. I probably was even. maybe 14, 13 in some of the videos that. exist. And I will get to the where I'm. going with, you know, the multiples. But. so, of course, as a young girl,

there was a boy that I liked from back. home. And when I was sort of already. like in LA a bit going back and forth, I. started sending videos of myself to him. as I think a lot of people do. And I. also won't like ever convince myself. that a lot of people don't do that. because I've seen tweets of people being. like maybe you shouldn't have been dumb. enough to send that to this person. And. why would you do that? And I'm like cuz. I was a young girl with also an app. called Snapchat that literally deletes. the video after you send it. What could.

what what's the harm in that? I. [clears throat] remember hearing of this. thing called Snapsave and I was like. what the [ __ ] is that? And someone told. me it was an app that you can download. that basically whenever you open a. Snapchat, it saves to your camera roll. automatically. And I was like, "That. can't be real." Cuz you know how you get. a notification when someone screen. records or takes a screenshot? I was. like that something has to notify you. >> Yeah. >> So. I found out that existed, but I just. didn't think that the person I was. sending this stuff to would remotely.

ever think to do something like that. because this was someone I'd known my. whole life. So, I was wrong obviously. when I first first first found out that. it was going around. I don't I think I. was like in bed or something and someone. had sent it to me and was like, "Yo, this is going I just got this." No, it. was like I just got this sent to me and. I was like, "Who sent it to you? Where. did you get this from? What the fuck?". Full just like I I just couldn't believe. what was going on. So, I'm in crisis.

mode just trying to trace it and do. damage control and be like, where did it. come from? Cuz maybe if I find the. source, I can stop this. And I knew in. my bones that the second it was texted. to me, it would end up on the internet, unfortunately. And I couldn't run from. that fact. So, it went from that to then my friend in. Florida the next day, and this was. someone from New York that originally. texted me. My friend in Florida the next. day calls me and immediately, of course, I answer. And I'm like, "What? What's. going on?" And she's like, "I just saw.

this video of you." And she sent me a. different video. So now there's two. And I'm like, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa." And I just knew at that point it. was spiraling. And I knew it was a. matter of time until it got online. And. it was so. it was so hard to just not tell my mom. And like I just didn't know what I did. not know what to do. And then that night. um was sort of when I got the like no. that wasn't even that night. It was that. day actually. I literally went to dance.

rehearsals and I remember I was like. with my choreographer and I was just. working on like dance movement or. something for a show and it was on. Twitter and it was just there and I was. just looking at it and I remember just. dropping to the floor and being like, "Oh my god, what do I do?" and I reached. out to the person who posted it and. begged them to delete it and they just. blocked me straight up. Just blocked me. immediately. And then now I'm staring at. this gray screen with a dull username. and I'm like I just feel powerless in.

the moment. And then I'm just sitting. and typing my name in quotation marks on. Twitter to see everything people are. saying about me and just refreshing in. real time. And it was just everywhere. And then it was on Vine and it was just. it was just on every social media. platform possible so quickly. And uh I didn't. realize until like years later that I I. was the victim in the situation. >> And um I don't know, there's just so.

many there's so many things I can say. about it. And I think that some people. who maybe haven't gone through it or men. don't understand how truly like. traumatizing something like this can be, especially for a minor. So when I talk. about it, like I've had people of course. sympathize and be like, "That's. horrible." But I've also had people be. like, "Who cares?". >> Okay. Yeah. I'm so sorry. First of all, it's okay. >> like disgusting that. >> Did you reach out to the kid that you.

were sending this [ __ ] to? >> Yeah, I did. And I was just really. disappointed. And. >> what did he say? >> He just denied that he did anything. And. I was like, "Well, you're the only. person that I sent these things to." So, and then, so it also then just continued. to get worse. So, then other videos. would be uploaded that, you know, would. be girls that I could sort of see a. resemblance of. They maybe looked like. me a bit and people would think it was. me. And then, and then I was put in this. position that I couldn't admit to one. video and deny the rest. And again, being 15 years old, I just denied at all.

being me. I was like, "This isn't me. It's full stop, just not me." Cuz I was. also at the time, the adults around me. were telling me that it was bad and it. was going to ruin my career. And oh my. goodness, this is just horrible. And I. remember like, >> you know, when we were younger, like. Miley Cyrus had that video of her. smoking a bong going viral. And I. remember thinking to myself, something. like that at the time was really. negative. that if I'm like naked in. something, that's that's a million times. worse. And I just remember I kept.

thinking about that and just being like, I'm done. I'm finished. And it was so so. hard for so long. And I felt like the. whole world had seen this video. And I I. also had this this is also the beginning. of having like real. triggerable PTSD. from the situation because right when I. sort of started a couple weeks later. >> being able to breathe again and being. like, "Okay, it's dying down. The. internet's finding something else to. like fixate on." I got an anonymous text. message like literally like I was in.

[ __ ] Pretty Little Liars that was a. picture of a computer screen with like. 50 videos on it that were all like. little and I'm looking at this and I and. it's blurry but I can see exactly what. it is. And again for anyone out there. who's like that's a lot of videos. I was. a young horny kid that like sent videos. to a guy that I liked. Like I'm not. going to let anyone shame me for it cuz. it is what it is. But like it was a it. was a lot. And I just like was staring. at this and I couldn't believe that they.

had everything I'd ever sent. And I know. that in some of these videos again I'm. like 13, 14, 15. These are like year I'm. not talking about a day. Like these are. years worth of like nudes I'm sending to. this kid. So that just instilled a whole. other level of paranoia. Am I being. watched? Does someone have my Snapchat. hacked? Like what is going on right now? And I think what was the most like. difficult part was knowing in my bones. that I wasn't the one who was at fault. That the boy who betrayed my trust was. the one who should be at fault. But that.

was also me learning very quickly that. like men and women get treated very. differently. I [clears throat]. appreciate you saying that because as. you were saying like I love that you. said like I'm not ashamed. Like it's so. sick and sad. There's so many people. that may listen to this and be like. >> it's her fault. Like why would you send. that [ __ ] You said you could fill one. [ __ ] computer. I could have filled. 20. Madison, >> it's like and like we're all young women. that are like we get Snapchat, social. media, we're like exploring our bodies. We feel good. We're going to take a. picture. A lot of us are going to take a.

picture. >> And there is something to be said also. of like I remember there are moments of. like kind of peer pressure of like the. guy you're talking to is asking for it. and you're like I feel uncomfortable. like I want to like impress him. So like. >> and if I don't do it another girl will. like all that. Then you start sending it. and then it opens up the floodgates and. it's like it doesn't stop. And I. appreciate you clarifying though and. like we will get to that in a little bit. of like you are the victim here. >> Could you not have pressed charges on. this kid?

>> I could have. Um I think but I feel like. maybe this is a downfall of to me but I. look at it as a I guess good thing. Even. though maybe there are people in my life. who should be held accountable for. things. I just feel like we were so. young and he was a young boy and he was. 14 15 years old himself. I just as much. as I was hurt, I don't I don't know. I. don't hold it against him and maybe. that's wrong, but I just don't think I. don't think that he's evil. I think that. the people who are evil are the people. who he didn't post it on the internet. I.

think he saved it to show his guys and. look and act cool, which is wrong. I'm. not saying that that's okay at all, but. he was so young. I think he was just. like, "Look, like hot girl sending me. nudes." I really just don't think it was. malicious. And that's been something. that I've had to come to that place. because I have seen people do evil [ __ ]. I've had people in the last So on my. 21st birthday was when I like posted on. International Women's Day saying sort of. like I take back the anxiety and the. shame that I felt all these years and I. don't let I'm not letting anyone control.

me because I had someone threatening me. at that time being like I'm going to. leak this. You're a [ __ ] Everyone's. going to know all this stuff. And that. was to me like that is a malicious. person that is trying to use like. revenge porn. I don't think that the guy. who did this was doing that to me and I. know people are going to be like that's. >> I to back you up there. At first I will. say my jaw dropped a little bit. I'm. like [ __ ] that [ __ ] He should. be in jail. I get what you're saying. Again, we're having a conversation about.

minors. So, I think it's like I get what. you're saying where there is also a bro. culture that has been instilled of him. being able to puff his chest around the. kids in elementary school, middle. school, high school to be like, "Look, I. got these nudes." But it wasn't his. intent to then be like, "I want the. world to see this." There was no, again, this is though a [ __ ] PSA to any men. or young boys listening. Like, this can. ruin someone's [ __ ] life. >> Many girls have committed suicide over. this. I attempted to over this. This was.

something that was like weighing on me. for years and years of just like it just. also was like I felt so betrayed and. like not even by Yes. by him but also by. like a girl was the person who first. uploaded it. I know for a fact cuz we. like traced I had to hire so also I. discussed this in my book. I had to hire. a web sheriff is something that I didn't. even know existed. out of my own money, every dollar I'd earned up until that. point in my career, I then spent on. clearing this and scrubbing it from the. internet. And something that I want to.

like bring this conversation back to is. that I am hopeful that now the internet. would protect a 14, 15year-old girl who. had something like this happen. I think. it would be removed on Tik Tok. instantaneously, removed on Twitter. instantaneously. I didn't get that. privilege and I think it was just a. different time in 2014 and. >> people had little to no compassion for. me specifically. >> and um yeah I sort of just got the sharp. end of the stick that was like really. difficult and.

>> it was spreading on I remember. specifically Twitter and Vine like. wildfire and just people not one person. was like isn't this girl a minor isn't. she really young like no one said that. it was horrible okay also So just people. that. weren't obviously there had to read this. like can you remember like what was. being said on the internet about you at. that time? Well. first of all of course so much endless.

like sexualization of just even grown. men participating in the conversation of. like oh I want to [ __ ] her and she looks. so hot and this and that. And it's it's. funny when you obviously when you're. young you don't realize how young you. really are. And so I didn't at the time. I knew it was inappropriate but I wasn't. as shocked and disgusted as I am now. But I do remember warning for the. graphicness. I remember there was a. video that I saw and it's one of those. things that like once you click it like.

it you're like sort of in this trance of. like oh my god. This guy had a had the. video, one of them, on his TV in his. room and had like a sex doll and he was. just like having aggressive sex with. this sex doll while watching this video. of me of a 14-year-old little girl and. it was a grown man, like visibly a grown. adult. And I remember. just like first of all being reminded of. being sexually abused as a child. And I. was like I just could I couldn't like.

take my eyes off of it because of how. shocking it was. That was also like the. day I discovered what like being. triggered was. Um and I was just it was. I had so many feelings and emotions of. like just like that image will never. leave my head. I was so disturbed by it. and so afraid. I felt so unsafe and just. like scared. And. there was so many layers of like peeling. the onion of that of how that made me. feel. And again, like just no no one.

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You talk about. in your memoir kind of how like all of. these people are online. They're calling you a [ __ ] They're. [ __ ] shaming you. They're talking about. you. You're a minor. >> Yeah. >> I also vividly remember the scene. It. like made me want to vomit of it could. have been like a 45year-old man or like. a full grown man getting off to you. again as a [ __ ] minor. >> Yep. >> And Henry, sit down. >> Come here, Henry.

>> Oh, he goes back. Um, you mentioned in the book that you were. abused as a child, >> and I thought it was really. sad, but like insightful to hear you. talk about like these comments that were. being said to you, of course, they were. so hurtful, but what people didn't. understand was how [ __ ] painful they. were for you to be called a [ __ ] and a. [ __ ]. >> Yeah. And yet you are looking at yourself.

barely have ever been in a sexual. relationship at this point in your life. >> Yeah. >> Can you go back a little to your. childhood and and as much as you're. comfortable sharing like. >> how how did you like handle what. happened to you and like how old were. you? >> Yeah. I think that I never have spoken. about anything like this up until now. because I just didn't feel like there. was a platform or a place to do it that. felt appropriate and that's why I felt. like the book was a great place to do.

it. >> And I didn't want to go too much in. detail because you can't really put a. trigger warning on a book. So I just. wanted to sort of like allude to that. >> Um well, okay. So firstly, yeah, there. was, you know, someone in in my. childhood that was around me frequently. that sort of would that I had an. inappropriate relationship with very. early on. Um, I would say like. pro probably I don't even know. I would. say maybe six, seven, I I'm not sure it. sort of began. And. >> [snorts]. >> um.

I've also like I want to say like I've. come to peace with this because I feel. like in talking in person with some. people about this I've been able to. create I've been able to like join this. community of women specifically that I. feel really proud to like stand amongst. genuinely. So, I remember feeling really. dirty um after like all of anything I. would endure, whether it was like. whatever it was. And I just remember. like feeling like I had done something. wrong, not being able to fully. articulate what um I don't know. I feel.

like I just look back. and being. someone who had gone through all of this. so privately, whereas like my own family. didn't even know about this until I mean. this might be news to like some people. in my family, but my like my mom, I. didn't even tell my mom till years. later. Who was the first person you. told? Man, um, my ex-boyfriend was the first.

person I told, I think, like ever. Um, I sort of also blocked it out for a. really long time and I didn't want to. accept that it had happened. dating that. person and having like everyone on the. online, you know, call me names like a. [ __ ] or a [ __ ] and stuff when in. reality um he was the first person who. ever laid a finger on me consensually. for a fact. And it was really difficult. to have people, especially like people. who would speculate about, you know, all.

the other guys that I had in theory. hooked up with when they were actually. just my friends. I never um hooked up. with any of them. I might have like. kissed one or two of them, but that was. like the extent of it. And people were. just like, "Oh, she slept with all of. them and she did this." And I'm like, >> "Whoa, you guys don't even know. It took. me so long to like have sex with my. first boyfriend because I was so afraid. and like traumatized." So, it just it. just goes to show that people really. have no idea what the [ __ ] they're. talking about. >> No, I [laughter] I agree. It's like.

there was such like this like. sexualization of you on the internet. Like I remember doing research for this. like looking up that first kind of. public relationship that you had and. this kid had a following and you had a. following. Again, how old were you? Like. >> 15. We started. >> 15. Okay. And so it's like we have this. incident which I do want to go back to. cuz I do think sadly so many women. actually experience revenge porn and. blackmail. But then you have this. multiple moments where you're then.

dating this kid and there's people on. the internet [ __ ] shaming you being like. she's a [ __ ] she's [ __ ] his friends. again as a child having been abused then. having the most violating experience. with your nudes and then having people. look at your like romantic relationship. None of this is any accountability to. any man in any of these situations. It's. you and your body and like the fixation. on you. It's so [ __ ] sick. And it. like it makes me so upset because again.

it's like and I not back to the kid that. released your nudes, but it is kind of. like. >> where is any accountability for any men. in this situation? >> Well, in this society, we don't hold men. accountable. It's like even have you. been seeing this like. >> what what whenever there's like a girl. who posts sexual things online, they're. like fatherless behavior. I'm like why. are you blaming the girl if she doesn't. have a father? Why are we not blaming a. father who walked out on their child. potentially? question marks. >> It's full question marks. >> It's just always like it's how I think. it's it's just and I think there's.

things like that that we've become so. accustomed to that we don't even realize. these these are men who will comment. like fatherless behavior and I'm like do. you not realize that you're like. >> you're saying something horrible? Like. the call is coming from within the. [ __ ] house. >> What are we talking about? Why are you. blaming a girl? Well, you're saying, okay, so you're you're saying that this. girl turned out this way, which you're. again portraying as negative, yet you're. also addicted to [ __ ] porn. And like, let's not even get into that. So, you're. going to you're going to then blame and. shame a girl who's posting with like her.

boobs looking whatever and say. fatherless behavior, but we're not going. to talk about the fact that you're not. discussing that maybe a parent actually. did walk out on this little girl and. that's horrible, right? >> Like, what the [ __ ] are you saying? I'm. sorry. >> No, no, no. No, I get upset too cuz it's. like back to this whole exploitation of. your life. I guess I didn't ask you like how how. did you tell your family when all this. was going down? >> It's like another really [ __ ] up story. that like you actually won't even.

believe sometimes. And I have to laugh. at this point because I'm like my. ex-boyfriend's Snapchat got hacked and. I'm on FaceTime with him and I'm like, "Hey babe, why are you typing to me on. Snapchat?" cuz it sends you a. notification when you're typing and he's. like I'm not and he goes and open. Snapchat he's logged out. >> our conversation about a week prior that. we used to save all of our conversations. like even if they were ones that we. wanted to delete we would save them. whatever [snorts]. >> so he types to me a message that says.

basically I hacked this person's. Snapchat and I know that you were. rworded and I'm going to tell the entire. internet if you don't follow me on. Instagram and like do x y and z and I. was like. what the [ __ ] And I had only told him. this in person like a couple months. prior, but we were talking about it on. Snapchat cuz something had happened. I. forget what obviously that upset me. And. I was just talking to him about like, you know, because this happened, I feel. really upset and da da da. And I was now.

being threatened to release basically to. to do things to shout this person out on. Instagram and to do things online to. benefit this guy or else he was going to. leak this information to the public. So, in that moment, I was like, "Well, this. isn't how I want my mom to find out.". So, I had to call my mom and be like, "Hey, something might end up on the. internet that I think you should know.". [snorts] Yeah. It's why I just laugh cuz. I'm like, >> Madison, >> it's just crazy. I know. >> Wait. And And that Sorry, did confirm. that was over the nudes or the sexual. abuse when you were younger? >> No, that was Yeah, that was over the.

sexual abuse when I was younger was. literally someone threatening to leak it. online. And my my mother had no idea. that I ever endured any of that. That's. why I literally had to call her on the. phone like, "What the fuck?" I just. >> No, I get what you mean, though. You. almost have to like laugh through it cuz. I obviously know. >> I've cried enough. >> Yes, I've cried enough. my whole like. past 10 years have been not even my past. 24 years have been filled with tears. that I'm like I'm at the point where. I've just accepted things and I'm just. like I feel like I've made lemonade out.

of lemons and I feel like I'm a good. person and I feel like in a [ __ ] up. way all of these experiences have shaped. me to be better that I'm like I also. want to say that like there's there's I. think that because I'm coming across. like lighthearted about this I obviously. want to say that this is something with. like extensive therapy that I've been. able to have the perspective of like I. do believe I don't want to say. everything happens for a reason because. the biggest thing I say in my book is. that just because I endured these things. and turned out okay and I was able to.

turn these things into a in the most. [ __ ] up way a positive. >> it doesn't mean I should have had to go. through them. And that's been the. biggest thing with therapy that I've. learned is being able to tell myself. like you didn't deserve these things. And just because you've done just. because you've shouldered them. gracefully and you've been able to like. survive doesn't mean you should have. gone through them. Just because you're. able to talk about it and hopefully help. other people does not [ __ ] mean that. anyone nor myself should have gone. through these things. So that's. something that I've been able to just. like give myself. So I want anyone. watching or listening to know that I'm.

at peace with these things. But I still. like literally two nights ago I was so. triggered and so upset about something. that happened that I like was. dissociating and didn't know where I was. and was like very afraid and felt like a. little girl again. Like I have a lot of. issues still that I'm very much so. working through. So, I don't want people. to think I'm just like, haha, okay, about it. I just can't um Yeah, I just I. just can't like break down and cry about. it every time because I'm just at a. place where I'm like, >> you know, it Yeah, it is. It sort of is. what it is. >> What You don't have to tell me. You can.

be like next, but like can you do you. mind sharing like what is it that would. trigger you like the other day? Like. what makes you dissociate and go into a. different place? >> Yeah, there's a few things. Um, I'm really petrified of the dark, which. I have a hard time saying publicly. because I feel like the paranoia I have. also horrible paranoia, which as you can. see why. Um, >> the paranoia in me thinks someone's. going to purposely do that to me and put. me in a dark room or a dark place and.

just like want to see me suffer. Um, so. that's like why I've never really talked. about it. But I also discussed in the. book like on tour we'll have the. obviously we have blackouts after every. song. I had to do like submersion. therapy almost where I was like I had to. like work myself up to going from like a. 0.5 second blackout to a 3se secondond. blackout and being able to sort of be. okay in those moments. And I had to. literally like submerse myself in it and. like get through that. And that was. something I worked on with my therapist. before I went on tour. Um, and now I.

have this like simple yet effective. thing where like I just I like sort of. do this and it helps like ground me. It's weird. Um, and I also people don't. really see, but when I do have a. blackout, there will be people on both. sides of the stage with some sort of. form of light that just helps remind me. where I am because I can just get like. lost in it and sometimes I'll feel like. I'm in, you know, the place that I was. abused and whatnot. So, I just need. something to kind of ground me whether. it's like, okay, I'm here. I'm at my.

show. I hear my fans screaming I'm okay. or like looking to the side of the stage. and seeing like there's a there's one. song I have called Sour Times that has. like quite a long blackout at the. beginning at my concert and if you like. look at videos you'll sort of always see. me looking off to the left or right at. my dancers cuz if I know people are. there I'm okay. >> Yeah. Um, but I have such an amazing. what's helped me so much is I have such. amazing friends and family and. relationships with people that like, for. example, when I go to like Universal, if. I'm in a dark ride, someone will just.

hold my hand and be like, I'm here with. you and it's okay. And it's so nice. And. to have people that just sort of don't. make it like, oh, she's so dramatic or. she doesn't. Cuz I'm not going to also. go into depth and explain to everyone. what happened or, hey, just let letting. everyone know I'm really scared of the. dark and don't ask why. It's just not. something I care to really make public. or talk about. So, it's really nice when. I have someone who's able to just. >> Yeah. >> be like, "Hey, I'm here and you're. good." One, I appreciate and like we are. like talking like in bits like people. have to go read your book because like.

you did such an incredible job. bringing us through everything you've. been through. But the amount of women. that have had some type of sexual. violence or sexual abuse, like is there. anything that has specifically helped. you cope that you could share with. people that are also kind of in this. like really deep healing journey right. now and trying to find a way to keep. going? >> I mean there's so many things I can say.

I think that there's. >> yeah there's like endless things I can. talk about. I think everyone's also. situation is very specific to them. So, it's hard to give like a marginalized. like this helped me. >> I know that like setting boundaries, it. sounds vague, but that's been super huge. for me is just being able to be like, "Hey, I'm uncomfortable with the topic. of discussion here or like I don't want. to be in this room or that person makes. me uncomfortable." Like just little. things like that and being able to I. always say be your own best friend and. look out for yourself the same way you. would look out for your best friend um.

is really helpful. And I think just. being patient. Yeah, >> it took me years and years to be able to. even discuss this. Like, I think that. anyone who's a fan of mine is going to. be like, "What? We had no idea." And. I've been very open and candid about a. lot of things that I've gone through. Um, but this has never been something. that I've been ready to talk about. >> And. yeah, it's just I don't know. It's all. it's all a journey. There's no right. answer. >> There's nothing that anyone could say to. like make it okay or go away. And I.

think just. >> Yeah. I don't know. Hopefully like. wishing anyone who's listening to find. peace someday. It's it's really hard and. it's I don't know. There's there's no. there's literally nothing I can say. It's like very difficult. Yeah. >> You mentioned while you were talking. about everything with what happened with. the nudes, which I think is like very. [ __ ] important to talk about is. >> people behind computer screens have. [ __ ] forgotten on their little fake. accounts or even their main accounts if. they are like shameless. Literally, they.

have like we have forgotten even if. you're posting something that's like. funny and then you're like was that. insensitive? We have forgotten because. social media has completely desensitized. us how hurtful things can be and. >> it there is not even like enough hours. in the day for us to have this. conversation. But you. >> just said casually, you were like, "And. that also led me to attempting to take.

my own life." And like, >> and I I just want to talk about that for. a minute because it's like it's so. [ __ ] real. You [ __ ] lived it and. you can talk about it, but it's like we. have to talk about it because like. people need to [ __ ] realize what. their words can do. And so you sitting. there by yourself as a minor going. through this [ __ ] like it's so sick. Like. >> can you try to. >> articulate and it's not your job to like. write the wrongs of people, but maybe. there's someone listening that will like.

never write a negative comment again. because like you're someone sitting here. that has endured so much online. bullying. Like. >> where do where do you go when those type. of comments come on your feed and come. on your posts? I think that it's something that I still. unfortunately struggle with, which. should speak volumes to anyone out there. who, you know, I don't want to say is a. hater, but is a hater. Um, not only to. me, to anyone. Um, it's been over 10. years and I still have not gotten used. to it. I.

recently like walked a carpet and people. just had like a million negative things. to say about like my body and like how I. looked and it was like really hurtful. and I had a panic attack about it and so. um I think again it's something that you. never get used to. I was raised because. I was raised in the industry to be told. and to tell people it doesn't affect you. and you're strong and it was sort of and. it was it was done with the right. intention I believe of. you want to be a good role model for. your fans and let them like think that. you're this strong individual that.

doesn't let things get to them which is. what I want my fans to think and people. who look up to me whatever um but it. felt so. disingenuous to me and I was like it. does get to me though and I spend every. night crying my eyes out because people. are so vicious that I don't feel right. when an interviewer is like, "How do you. deal with hate?" I'm like, "It doesn't. affect me. I It's fine." I was like, "This needs to be something that I'm. honest about." So, I just stopped with. that nonsense cuz I felt like it was.

really silly and I felt like I owed it. to people to know that their words hurt. and even if that's honestly what they. wanted to hear because some of them. probably got satisfaction hearing that I. was affected by their words. But it's. important and I think it's never going. to end. I think people should know that. your words have power. I think that. people's digital footprints should be. more serious that say things like kill. yourself to people and you know there's. also people who I've spoken to who. haven't ever dealt with it who are like. just turn your phone off. Why do you. even read it? I'm like it's not that. simple. And especially someone like me.

who has been unfortunately scrolling and. scrolling through hate comments since I. was 12 years old. It's become like part. of my nature to seek out what people. have to say about me. >> And it's been something because I'm also. just like being completely genuine. I'm. someone who does care about what people. think about me. Like I pride myself on. being a kind individual who has a good. heart that like wants to make people. feel good. I I I think that that's what. life is about. And I want people to be. happy when they're around me and I. whatever the [ __ ] it is. Like that's. something that's really important to me.

and has been deeply ingrained in me as a. human being. So, when I read tens of. thousands of comments of people saying. things that I know are so far from the. truth about me and my character, it. bothers me and I can't help but look and. I can't help but be upset by it and and. it sucks and I wish I didn't care, but I. do. >> Yeah. That was something in your book. that I was like, "Fuck, this is dark.". Because it was like you were like at. that age at 15 14 when those were. released you were like I was using all.

of my money to have this person try to. get them off the internet but you were. personally going through each website. each forum getting and sending them to. this guy. So you are having to watch the. man jerking off [ __ ] the doll. you. were seeing everything and to have that. level of. >> violation to then paranoia and then to. have to read every [ __ ] comment like. and looking like what did they say? What. did they say? I don't think under people. understand like I understand it's like.

oh wo is you you choose this life. If. there was a [ __ ] forum I want. everyone to pause for a minute. If there. was a forum that you knew, you're. sitting at home right now. If you knew. someone was writing things about you, 10. out of 10en times you're [ __ ]. clicking. >> Well, it's funny because I'll have like. friends of mine who will say like. similar things of like, well, you know, you sort of like chose this and if you. can't handle it, you shouldn't be in. your your position. I'm like, well, why. does being in my position mean I have to. endure abuse? You talked about this red. carpet moment and I feel like there's so.

many people that are so [ __ ]. fascinated by your looks and your body. and what you are doing and people have. so much to say about it. It's like [ __ ]. you. You look perfect. [ __ ] you. You're. setting an unrealistic beauty standard. There's all these people. >> But I'm like, okay, let's pause for 5. seconds about like what anyone else. [ __ ] thinks. How do you feel about. your body image and your sexuality? Now, >> I think that it's it's very hard. I.

mean, it was something that was. scrutinized publicly for so long. But. it's again, it goes into I think being a. woman and people objectifying you and. looking at you as just a pretty face and. nothing more. And if you ask a man to. name three women who inspire him, like. he probably is going to have a very. difficult time doing so. And obviously. there are some men who can. There are a. lot of men who can't. And I think that. society in general objectifies women and. makes them to be not talented enough, not smart enough, not good enough, not. articulate enough. And I just I don't.

know. I feel like it does sort of like. feed into all of it. I feel like it's. interlocked in this weird misogynistic. way. And I don't know. >> No, I I completely agree. I think like. listening to everything that you've. said, reading your memoir, like it feels. really disheartening of like the lack of. protection you had as a young girl, the. exploitation, the violation, and there's this like sense of.

entitlement that men have over women and. our bodies. And we essentially come into. this world and it almost feels like we. have no autonomy over our bodies. >> Look at the [ __ ] abortion issue we. just dealt with. Like. >> it is really. >> sad. And I think and you don't have to. comment on this, but like it's the. truth. >> Then there's a different level also for. like a very attractive woman. Like we. just watched the Pamela Anderson doc and. it's like the world also believes listen.

the world believes that if you're a. pretty woman like they're entitled to. look and and get off to and stare at. your body and it's so dehumanizing and. it is also completely stripping you of. your ability to feel like you're going. to be seen and heard for what you've. been through. And it is like I [ __ ]. hate [laughter] everyone. >> It's really difficult. >> It's like I want to like scream when I.

have this conversation. >> Scream all the time, all hours of the. day. >> It's it's it's awful. I just don't think. that men ever get that same level of. like objectification of like you're just. something pretty to look at. And I'm. like, but I feel like I have a lot to. show that isn't just that. It's always. the. >> like I have a platinum single, right? The [ __ ]. >> Thank you. It's like, oh god, she seems. angry. I am. I am angry. >> Literally generational. We're two white. women sitting here. So, it's like the. [ __ ] layers that go underneath it of. like women, minorities, underprivileged,

like never ending. >> It's never ending. So, everyone that has. a penis listening to this, just [ __ ]. hear us a little bit today. >> Seriously. >> Call Her Daddy is brought to you by. T-Mobile. Okay. Tell me why the holidays. are so much better when you don't even. have to leave the house. [music] Like, a. blanket, wine, and something to watch. I'm in always. And as soon as November. 1st hits, I'm turning on my favorite. holiday movie without a doubt. Daddy. Gang, you already know the one. She.

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And that, ladies and gentlemen, calls. for bringing a White Claw variety pack. to every party this holiday season. My. personal favorite is black cherry. But. I've learned you got to have something. for everybody, right? My brother loves. the raspberry. My sister is obsessed. with the natural lime. So, whatever. celebrations you've got on the calendar. this year, just grab a White Claw. variety pack and make it a moment. everyone is going to enjoy. My absolute. favorite part of the holiday season is. always the night before Thanksgiving. when it's just me and my siblings and.

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think it's important to read this. because. a lot of what we've talked about, this. is an interesting summation of how you. wrote this. You said, "It feels like my. entire life's journey thus far has been. a perfectly crafted cocktail of. situations that landed me at this. borderline personality diagnosis." As if. my biography could be written and. titled, "How to give someone BPD, a. step-by-step guide.".

>> What do you want people to understand. from you writing that? I think that when. I read, you know, when you read. something about like your astrological. sign, you're like, that's so me. I feel. like when I first discovered not only. what BPD was, but how one can become. diagnosed with it or what the things. that have to sort of happen to a young. developing mind in order to whatever. Um, I literally was like, this this is. feels scripted. It felt it felt humorous. to me cuz I was like, this is just such. a recipe for disaster, honestly. And I.

just I knew I knew that it was the right. diagnosis for me when I when I was. diagnosed with it because of course it. just felt so right. But I just yeah I. couldn't it it just felt like I was like. was this the goal in my life was for. people to like give me this disorder? I. don't understand it. So. >> yeah, I don't I don't know. It's it's. very it's very strange. I mean, there's. so many different stigmas around so many. different um mental health disorders or. um you know, things people are going.

through, but like specifically with BPD, I think there's such a lack of education. around this topic. And I do appreciate. you saying like how to give someone BPD. Like not that any mental health disorder. is anyone's fault, but this is not. something you were born with. Like this. happened to you. >> Yeah. It develops. >> and it develops through trauma and. childhood. And so, like, I appreciate. you writing this because it's like, let's have a little [ __ ] empathy and. compassion when someone says that they. are struggling or they have BPD. Like,

that's actually such a great way to. start a conversation with someone of. like, I'm here for you. Like, I want to. listen to you. I want to understand you. I want to understand what you've been. through. Like, you're not a bad [ __ ]. person. you're a wonderful person with a. great heart and you had a lot of [ __ ]. [ __ ] happen to you, but like I just felt. like the way that you wrote it, people. don't understand it and I really. appreciated the way that you said that. of like how to give someone it like this. [ __ ] happened to you, >> but you're alive and you're here and. you've like powered through.

>> thankfully. Yeah. And it's it's I really. appreciate you saying that. It's just. hard to. >> it's hard to like think about my younger. self sometimes. I get really emotional. about it because I just feel like I of. course I'm really grateful for the place. that I'm in and I'm really grateful for. like the insight that I've been given. and all of that stuff, but I just I. think about my younger self who. it just I I don't Yeah, there was so. many times where it felt like the only. way out was to end it. And.

I just I don't know. I just feel like I. am grateful for sure. for everything because I feel like I. wouldn't be the person I am today if. literally everything didn't happen. But it's hard to come to terms with a. lot of these things. And I it's hard to. not feel bitter, I think, towards people. because and and that's the biggest thing. that like my therapist who's amazing. always says to me and she's like, "I'm. so glad that you've never turned cold to. people and you're still like warm and. fuzzy and friendly and you want to be.

friends with everyone and you still have. like faith in people, but it's it's a. lot. It's hard. It's a hard journey.". >> I'm happy I read the book because. >> I am too. Again, you there's so many. good things in your life and there's. really hard moments and you write about. a lot of heavy stuff in here about like. multiple times thinking about or trying. to take your life. >> Yeah. >> And in the summer of 2019, you wrote. about how it was like the best part of. your career. You were at a career high,

but like personally, you had never been. lower. >> Yeah. >> What were you going through? That was the year that I started to. really face everything that had happened. to me in my younger years. Whether it's. like coming to terms that so many people. have the wrong idea of me or the sexual. abuse or people have naked pictures of. me. There were so many things that I. felt like were just like really catching. up with me. I also that was the age that. I started to feel a lot of guilt around. my little brother. >> Um because I feel like I sort of.

uprooted and changed his life without. him having any say over it. And I still. feel guilt surrounding that to this day. cuz I know how it was to get my. childhood sort of taken from me in ways. that he didn't even have a choice. It. was like you're just along for the ride. And I feel so sorry for that to this. day. Um so that was a lot. And I had a. lot of things just like really really. weighing on me heavily for so long. And. I just felt like I was I just felt like. also nothing would ever change. I felt. like I would live in this sort of like.

begging to be seen place for the rest of. my life. if I was like, I'm never no. one's ever going to know me and I'm. never going to have a real friendship. and I'm always going to be like betrayed. or like blackmailed and just so many. endless things. I'm also I'm never going. to be a successful artist. There was so. many things weighing on me that I really. I started selfharming again which I had. been clean for a while and so that was. again something that was like oh you're. weak and you did the wrong thing and. whatever. So, I just felt like it was.

something I'd been thinking about for a. really long time. I also always said to. people, and this is like horrible and. dark, but probably from like starting at. like 15, I would always tell people cuz. you know, we have those conversations. people like, "Do you have any idea like. how you think you're going to die?" I. would always say, "I know I'm going to. die from suicide. I know.". And now that makes me so sad because I. just think about that like child who was. just hurting and felt like she was. screaming into a void all the time and. no one cared to listen and that just. makes me really sad and I wish I can hug.

her. I thought that everyone on the. [ __ ] face of this earth would have. rathered me dead. And so I just I I did. attempt um. twice. Um, and yeah, I'm really grateful. that I was obviously unsuccessful, but I. think people need to understand that. like it's really serious and not. something to joke about. And I just like. my life was almost over. Like I almost. died. I almost was dead because of all of.

this. And it's a lot to comprehend. It's. a lot for me to think about. It's a lot. for me to accept that people made me. feel that way. People kicked me while I. was down and just like did not give a. [ __ ] did not look at me as human at. all. I would think about the tweets that. would be posted the next day, people. like laughing and making fun of the fact. that I was dead. And I knew it would. happen. That was the sickest part was. like I I I still know to this day that. if it happened, people would joke about. it because I've seen people joke about. the most horrible things ever online. Um, and I think it all just ties back. into the fact of like I just hope for a.

day of like people having empathy and. people not judging each other and being. able to be kind and loving. Um, but I. still like I I I definitely don't feel. like I have this like suicidal ideiation. thing in me anymore, but I still have. really really horrible dark days like to. this [ __ ] day that I just feel. defeated and I just there's so much. grieving I do for my younger self and. there's so much like I I am a bit angry. a little towards the internet in some.

ways. I feel like I never got an apology. from a lot of people. >> I don't know. I feel like I'm still also. like made fun of all the time. I'll talk. in a video and people be like, "She's so. cringey and embarrassing.". >> Does it make you Does it make you. nervous? >> I never want to talk ever again. >> No, but I'm I'm wondering like will you. have anxiety before this comes out? >> Oh, 100. I'm like already like can we. restart? Like literally like it's I'm. like I'm like no, it's how I am. >> But that is why I do appreciate. podcasting cuz I'm like I wish people.

were just nice. It's like so it's so. crazy that's like a huge ask of people. Can you just be nice and like not. >> like we're going through it. Like listen. to what you're going through. >> I'm in pain. [laughter]. >> Please stop. >> It's just too much. >> You are currently in a relationship. >> Mhm. >> We don't need to talk about your. relationship, but I do want to know. about you in relationships dealing with. everything that you're going through and. it seems like again you said 2019 was. how when you kind of really started to. break in to everything that happened to. you. And I also want to say like people. that are going to start therapy like it.

is a [ __ ] at first to open up. Pandora's box and be like. >> whoo. >> But. >> when you finally even get a little bit. on that other side of like. >> it's the best. >> It's the best. And you find a reason to. live and you find like a perspective. that you could have never had. Mhm. >> When you're in a relationship and you're. going through all this, like how does. having a partner and having to.

have someone in your life and be, you. know, in this dynamic where you have to. be not selfish all the time and not. focus on yourself? Like how does that. affect your mental health of being in a. relationship while you're going through. this mental health journey? >> I think there's two sides of the coin. I. think on side A, I recognize that I've. become definitely very codependent. I've. had three now long-term relationships in. my life back to back. I've like really. never been single. I've just been like. in very serious relationships. I think. that is because of my deeprooted.

abandonment issues and attachment style. and whatever. And I am working through. that. Um, but I [snorts] think on the. other side, it's been amazing. And I. feel like I've been able to obviously. breakups are really hard, but I think in. all three of my relationships, I look. back and I feel, you know, a lot of. support at times from those people. And. especially in my current one, like I. feel um yeah, supported and I feel like. taken care of in in a way that I can. break down and like I have someone to. lean on and I I I think it's important. What's a red flag in dating that you.

used to ignore that you would now if you. saw it, you would like run the other. direction? like you used to put up with. but you're like, "Nope, not now, bitch.". >> Um, there's a lot. >> Okay. First being when guys I know this. is so basic, but when guys say like, "My. ex-girlfriend is so crazy." I'm like, "Oh, so you were horrible and you don't. want to be accountable." Is what you're. trying to say? Cool. >> So, that I don't like at all. I feel. like also. >> it's just it's just like you can't. convince me that your ex-girlfriend was.

just like crazy for no reason. like you. definitely caused her to be that way. So, I don't really give a [ __ ] what you. have to say about yourself. >> It's your fault. >> It just drives me insane. And I've heard. people say it and it won't even be like. forget red flag and dating. Like if if. I'm in a room of boys and they're like. talking about even a girl they like. slept with in a negative way, I'm like. twitching. I'm sitting there like, "Are. you [ __ ] joking right now? Who raised. you?" But yeah, I hate I especially. can't handle it in a guy who's like my. my crazy ex-girlfriend. I'm like, "Sir.".

Um, but other than that, I think that. someone who like o I don't know. There's. so many things I can say. I think. hygiene is like huge. Brush your teeth. Please. I'm begging you. What? Please. brush your teeth. We just went from like. crazy. I probably like hygiene, Alex. Like it is through. >> Brush your hair. It's been 3 weeks. Please. [clears throat] Like I'm begging you. [laughter]. I literally begging. [gasps] I'm dead.

How would that I That's the last thing I. thought you would say. Hygiene. Please. >> Okay. Hygiene. And when someone says. their [laughter] hygiene and when. someone says their ex-girlfriend is. crazy, I don't believe you for a [ __ ]. second. >> Something that I love to do on Call Her. Daddy is like if there are rumors or if. there have been like anything kind of. out there that people are like. speculating, I'm like, let's just get to. the bottom of it. Sure. >> People are so [ __ ] confused. Like.

>> this video came out that Justin posted. of you and there's so much controversy. on the internet of like. >> you may have had connections to him and. people before and I'm like who cares if. that's the case? Like. >> in any way, shape or form did you have. or anyone in your family or anyone know. anyone in Justin's camp and it wasn't. like a random thing that he stumbled. upon you on YouTube? >> Definitely no correlation to Justin. I. was Justin's biggest biggest fan. Let me. make that very abundantly clear. He was.

my lock screen when I met Scooter. I was. like crying my eyes out screaming when. Scooter played me boyfriend the day that. he signed me. Like I there's a lot of. things but all I like at this point like. the truth is all that I really care to. talk about cuz I think that it just. doesn't matter at this point. It's 10. years ago. So literally to break it down. quite simply, my mom and dad have no. music industry correlation. My mom was. an interior designer. My dad was a. builder. Like it just was not part of. our life. Um the only person that my mom.

knew as I was younger that sort of had. an inn with those people was a guy who. owns Catch like the restaurants. >> Got it. >> Which for those of you who don't know. her, like LA, New York hotspot. restaurants. And she sort of knew him. And she being a proud mom posted my. YouTube video to her Facebook and was. texting all her friends like, you know, who who could get my daughter like a. audition somewhere? Like she my dream. was to be on Broadway. That was like my. number one dream. So she was like, "Who. can help my daughter?" Whatever. So she. messaged this guy Mark and was like, "Do. you know anyone who maybe would want to.

like I don't even know like we didn't. even know at the time like what the. verbiage was or what the goal was." It. was more so just like clearly I was a. kid who loved to sing and what can we do. with this? People also have this idea. that my mom knew Scooter personally cuz. there's a picture that this is also I. have to again contextualize peak of me. being like hated online when I was like. 16 years old. this rumor began to spread. and there's a picture of some woman with. Scooter when the in like college and. people are like this is Madison's mom.

and Scooter Braun in college. My mom's. like 15 years older than Scooter mind. you and also like we it's just that. that's just not true. And at this point. I would just say yeah that he she did. People have this idea that like you can. buy your way like I my dad like wrote. him a check and was like sign my. daughter. Do you know how many kids. would be. >> famous missing? >> Yeah. Like I just it's just not it's. just not true and it's it's quite silly. And I think that obviously also what. Scooter Braun who had Justin Bieber as. his artist you think he really like. needed to sign little Madison Beer from. Long Island like it also didn't work.

out. So like it wasn't like you know so. I just um yeah so basically to make a. long story short Mark ended up. connecting us with Scooter who then. showed to Justin and that's how it all. happened and it was just quite simple. and it was all very cool for me and very. exciting. 12-year-old me. I was just. excited that Justin Bieber watched one. of my videos, >> right? Also, it's not like anyone was. like, "Justin, you have to post this.". Like, clearly, he had to have liked it. to post it. And. >> he I think felt passionate about me when. I was younger because that's how he was.

discovered. So, I think that I don't. know. I wasn't in the room, but. potentially when Scooter showed it to. him, he was like, "I want to get. involved with this.". >> I feel like I remember also back in the. day seeing Justin post like. a lot of people. He would do stuff like. that all the time. >> because that's how he was getting. discovered. And I appreciate you. clarifying and I know there are some. people watching that are like, "What the. [ __ ] is going on?" The point is is there. was a conspiracy. >> There was literally a. >> It's crazy the amount of rumors about. you on the internet. >> Why do you think that is? >> Firstly, I think I got.

>> in this very young. I think that like. it's been 11 12 years of me being on. social media. So, of course, throughout. the years, like as I've grown into the. human form, like I'm sure that I've made. mistakes or said things or done things. like any person would in in my shoes. that maybe I look back and I'm not proud. of. But I don't I can't give you an. answer as to why there's so many people. that literally make things up about me. um or are just specifically mean to me. I feel like I've been a victim of like. just no empathy. People are just mean.

and vicious and will like make fun of me. and not give me any benefit of the doubt. or assume that I'm a liar. It's really. hard. Um, but I don't know the reason. >> and I don't think that I'm at a place. where I blame myself anymore because I. used to be like, "Oh, it has to be. something. It has to be me." And I'm. like, "I didn't I didn't do anything to. these people." And I don't think that's. true. I feel like if I can take a crack. at it, I'm like I feel like one the the. relationship to Justin, we don't need to. get into it, but anyone that has any.

like touching of that man near him, >> if you're a woman and you're not a. certain woman, you're dead. And I think. naturally when you're young and you're. on the internet, people get so fixated. and obsessed with that [ __ ] that it's. like, "We're riding till the grave with. you, Madison. Even if we're bullying. you, like they've just become obsessed. with your life from day one." And then. it's like they feel like they know you. cuz they've watched you quite literally. mature from a girl to a woman and. there's like some weird [ __ ] [ __ ].

>> For sure. >> You're so young. We've said you've been. in the industry for 11 years. What made. you want to write a memoir at 24? >> I know. And I feel like it's very young. and I've seen a lot of people online be. like, "What the hell?" And I'm like, "That's kind of the point, though." And. I feel like it should show people how. much I've been through at 24 to be able. to even write this in the first place. But I don't know. I just think, like I. said earlier, there's so much I wanted. to say for so long that I just didn't. feel was appropriate anywhere but a book. format of some kind.

>> I didn't feel like a teeyed Instagram. post would really do it justice. I. didn't feel like coming on here for the. first time and like being this the first. time I ever really said things was I. just wanted it to be like me telling my. story without anyone else, no strings. attached. And I feel good about it and I. feel like it's definitely peculiar that. someone so young is like writing a. memoir. But I think it's it's bigger. than just a memoir. It's more of like I. guess a tell all and just sort of me and. and the reason it's called the half of. it is because I want people to. understand that obviously just because. you know now this you still only know.

the half of it and we have so much more. to go. like I have so much more life to. live and. >> it's really just also about like. everyone viewing each other as human and. being like wait we're literally all. trying and it's everyone's first time. here. >> that I don't really think that we. deserve to scrutinize each other and be. mean and make fun of each other and. think everyone's a liar and just just. put like people should be in my eyes. innocent until proven guilty not vice. versa and I just I don't know. >> I just hope this book book makes some. people a little more empathetic towards. each other and like not to spoil the.

ending but the last line in the book is. like, "Now that you've read my story, I. hope you realize that everyone has a. story you just haven't read yet." And. that's the truth. And it's just the. reality of life. And I think there's so. many people who don't go through life. with that perspective. And I think. looking at everyone as someone's child, as a probably wounded kid, we've all. been through [ __ ] And I just not to. sound too preachy, but like just be nice. and just love each other. And I don't. know, >> it's not preachy. I [ __ ] love the. last line of the book because again.

going back to the beginning of the. interview when I was like dude like you. look at someone's social media you look. at your social media you're so [ __ ]. beautiful you look like you have your. life together you are on tour like. you're singing you have albums like. you're thriving like people don't know. the half of it and it's like if we sit. down and we take this as to heart of. like now next time you open your phone. and you're someone that's a mean person. No, but you're 100% right and I think. that it's just so important and I think. people really forget that and it's such.

a crucial part of this life and I think. that it's something that like we all can. do better at is and and again I feel. like it as much as I would love to be on. social media like guys this is something. that's happened to me. I don't feel like. all my followers a give a [ __ ] let alone. b would care. So I'm like I just feel. like there's no point in and this is for. me. He is so. >> it's really only for me. Like I think. there's other people who feel. differently and do feel like maybe I can. use my platform and be more open and.

honest, but I just I just don't feel. like that audience. >> it's it's not the appropriate space. sometimes. >> Exactly. And that's that's how I feel. when I like do like my my tour and I. have at the beginning of tour I have. Q&A. I talk to my fans in the most. honest vulnerable way I can and we have. such a deep personal connection that. like to me those are the appropriate. spaces. It's not It's just not for like. my Instagram. >> Yes. In a few weeks, you're going on a. much different tour than you're used to. You're not going to be singing. You're. going on a book tour. >> Yeah. >> What are you looking forward to from. this book tour?

>> I'm I'm excited. I I really like. a lot of my experiences I've had so far. in this crazy time and world has have. been like my I write about this. experience in my book about like holding. hands with a stranger and like you know. that you know you're both going through. something beautiful and emotional when. like the first thing you do is like hold. hands and have this really true human. connection. There's been so many. instances like that that I really look. back on, I'm like, what an amazing life. I've had and what a privileged position.

am I in to be so lucky to like have. these deep connections with utter. strangers through music and through. vulnerability hopefully through this. book. Like that's such a beautiful. awesome thing. And I and I and I do and. I and obviously in the book you'll read. that like it comes to this sort of. ending of like. I definitely made the right choice and. like the answer is yes. And moral of the. whole story of like all these [ __ ] up. things have happened is like I'm still. so grateful for all of it and I wouldn't.

trade my position for the world. I just. hope that me as a singular individual. can make some sort of a positive impact. on people. I hope people listen to this. podcast and say like, "Oo, maybe I. shouldn't comment that this girl looks. ugly in this video because why the [ __ ]. should I?" or like maybe I should hold. the door for someone because I never. know what kind of day they had. Like I. just think I want I just want so cheesy. the world to be a bit of a better place. and I want people to just be nicer to. each other and I think that this book is.

really about that specifically of just. like be empathetic. I can't thank you. enough for coming on because I feel like. there's like again there's so many. [ __ ] things on the internet about you. and rumors and gossip and mean things. It's like it's really [ __ ] nice that. you put this into a book that is like. humanizes you and gives us all a chance. to get to know you better. And I also. really appreciate you sitting down with. me and talking about topics that I know. are very [ __ ] sensitive and personal.

to you, but in a strange way. Like I. know so many people are going to relate. to you and connect with you and feel. like I can go another [ __ ] day. because like look, she's sitting here. still and like there's more to her story. and there's more to come and hopefully. it's going to be positive and there's. going to be things that come from it. But I also agree. I hope people take. from this like let's be more. compassionate cuz we have no [ __ ]. idea what anyone is going through and. they shouldn't have to put their life. out there 24/7 and.

>> to explain why you should be nice to. people. >> Definitely not. Agreed. For sure. >> Thank you for coming on Madison. It was. truly a pleasure. >> Not coming. I'm at your house. Thank you. for having Thanks for coming to my. house. >> Thank you for coming. Alex, next guest, please. Next guest coming. Thank you. Thank you. [music]. >> [music].