Kate Hudson: A Year Without Men (Full Episode)

What is up, Daddy Gang? It is your. founding father, Alex Cooper, with Call. Her Daddy. Hi. Hi. Kate Hudson. Excuse me if I have like these like. disgusting cough episodes. Oh, are you sick? Because I am No, I am I have that. lingering like 3-week Uh-huh. You came. here to get me sick. If you get sick, it. wasn't me. It was you. I am not contagious. [ __ ] this [ __ ] I'm going to get her.

really sick and leave and give her no. tea. No, it's going to be great. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Uber. Eats. Okay, Daddy Gang, we all know Uber. Eats has the best selection of local. restaurants, but did you know they also. eat when it comes to a whole range of. delivery services. Now, that might be a. lot to take in, so let's break it down, okay? Uber Eats isn't just for locked-in. salad bowl lunches or pre-gaming with.

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grocery, alcohol, and everyday. essentials in addition to the restaurant. food you love. So, in other words, get. almost almost anything with Uber Eats. Order now. For alcohol, you must be. legal drinking age. Please enjoy. responsibly. Product availability varies. by region. See app for details. Okay, so. you're kind of like in an entire new. phase of your life right now with this. new venture of music. Congratulations. Well, only in public. Right. You know what I mean? Like so, I mean, music's been in my life my whole life.

Um whether it was me or whether it was. with like my exes, partners. Um. but yeah, I know I finally was like, you. know what? If I don't share it, I'll. just regret it and. That's what I think is interesting when. you think of like Kate Hudson, everyone's like, "Actress." Is it. terrifying to come out with music or are. you like excited? Are you nervous? I. think it was terrifying, which is why I. didn't do it. And.

I'm an Aries. Like I'm supposed to be. fearless. And I was like, "Why am I so. terrified to share. my writing, really? You know? And I I. think I think it's because when I grew. up. and and and sort of was young and became. well-known and you know, I got I I got. famous young. So, I was 20 years old and. um at that time, like you don't switch. careers. There's no like.

there was no, "Oh, you're going to be a. movie star and then you're going to be. and then you can be a rock star." It's. like, "No. Stay in one lane." Everyone. tells you to stay in one lane. Don't break what's not broken. So, I kind of had this thing was like, "The one thing I loved the most. was going to take a was just going to. take a backseat.". And so, my dream was like, okay, well, I. can do musicals and then maybe that's. how I. incorporate music into my life and.

then I, you know, it just time gets away. from you and, you know, kids and things. and. COVID happened and I'm like, I'm sitting. on hundreds and hundreds of songs that. I've never like. I'm so. scared to put that out, but but why? Yeah. And so I had to kind of tackle. that and then I was just like, [ __ ] it. If I don't do it, then I will be on my. deathbed and it will be a great regret. of mine. So Well, I think it's. incredible you're doing it also because.

you have a really good voice. Oh, thanks. Like, no, but I think. sometimes like to be honest, I think. people are always like, oh god, another. [ __ ] actress is going to now try to. do a singing career or vice versa. Like. the singer Yeah, the singer goes to try. to act. I'm listening to it and I'm like. oh, you have a [ __ ] great voice. It's funny cuz I'm not like I don't I. don't. that's been part of my hesitation is I. don't see my the instrument as like a. technician. I think there's certain. technicians of the instrument that are. [ __ ] brilliant and.

you listen to them and you're like, whoa, they can do runs for days and they. can hit certain notes and things and. like. I never saw myself as a technician of. the instrument. So like when I'm writing. music, I write I write for my voice or I. write what I'm feeling. So that always. for me was like, you know, if I can't hit that note, then. then what does that mean, you know? And. so I kind of also had to just let it go. let that go and just Well, I also think.

what you were saying is your lyrics. Like as I was like going through your. music, I'm like, oh, so much of your. lyrics are about love and your. relationships and heartbreak and moving. on and knowing when to move on and like. Romeo I feel like is like a great summer. bop. You Romeo? Yeah, I love Oh my god, I love I think. it's a I think it's a vibe. Romeo so much. It's a good vibe. Romeo it makes me. happy. It That song just is like I just. want to like put it on in the car in the.

summer. Yes, I love that that's the one. you mentioned. I also love that you go to the complete. opposite side and it's like love ain't. easy and I'm like. you're just like flexing your vocals. I'm like holy [ __ ] [ __ ] it's like a. beautiful I guess ballad or like and. it's gorgeous. But so much of listening. to it I felt like I got to know you a. little bit more and I want to talk a. little bit about that today. Okay. because I'm like okay. Uh-oh. When you were growing up, how was. sex and dating discussed in your.

household? house? Yeah. Oh, I mean I have very open, you. know. progressive parents-ish. Progressive-ish. parents. Um those were things that were always. very open. Okay. And I think part of why. we were never super rebellious was. because there was no mystery around. those things. So, you know, even even like partying. like my parents loved to have a good. time and.

we grew up seeing them enjoy their life. laugh with friends be, you know, talk. about naughty things sometimes, overhear. things that were like, "Hmm, what are. they talking about?". Right. Um. but this mystery of like connection and. and why we connect with people was never. something that was like hidden that we. didn't talk about, you know. that's a good point cuz I feel like not. to [ __ ] on the kids that's parents were. so strict, but I had a similar. upbringing where like my parents were.

like very open about things so I was. never like, "I want to go experiment and. do all the [ __ ] behind their back. because [ __ ] you, you're making me stay. home." I felt like I was lucky to have. that, but I can see a lot of kids where. you can go the opposite way because if. your parent tells you not to do. something you naturally want to do it. sometimes. Yeah. So, if you have people. that are talking openly about, especially I think for women, about like. not actual sex. Like, your mom's not. like, "Kate, let me tell you about. this." But when you're Well, did she? No. I mean, not when I was young.

What were you like with guys growing up? Like, were you confident? boy crazy. Really? I'm still boy crazy. You are. Yeah. Yeah. Boys are fun. I have a good boy right now. I have a really awesome boy, but I mean, I I, you know, I'm doing this show right. now where I play the president of a. basketball team. So, I'm basically. surrounded by men all day. And you're. just happy. to Danny. I was like, "Honey, I I'm. having the time of my life.". I love you.

And and I and I am very committed, but. oh, I I feel so lucky. It's like I was. born for this job. Stop. Um. but uh I was very boy crazy. Okay. And. um but I was also a very pretty. Like, like like love to have fun, love to be. flirty, super pretty. Really? Yeah. What was your personality in high. school? I didn't want to be there. Why? Uh cuz I was like ready to like I was. like ready to have my own apartment.

somewhere in the world. Like, I was like in ninth grade like, "Ah, just someone give me like a martini and. a cigarette and a and like some book on. a balcony in Paris." Like, I don't know. I can see it a little bit in my. daughter. It's just like I wasn't into. the high school party scene. I wanted to. be in theater. I wanted to be singing. I. wanted to be like. traveling the world. I was like ready. Got it. I To me, high school felt like it was.

holding me back. I get that. And and I was like, "Ah, you're just. you're just holding me back, you know.". Now I look back at high school and I. feel like um. it was like one of the great experiences. of my life, you know? Right. Right. But I was definitely like. the mom of the bunch. Oh, okay. Yeah, like when all my friends were. partying, like I was designated driver. Like I would take care of everybody. I. didn't expect that. Yeah, total. Everybody thinks I'm a total party girl. I was the opposite, you know? So you're. always DDing, still to this day?

Always. Well, I mean, you know, not now, but like back then I was very straight. Were you bullied at all? Like were you octo- Totally. Really? Totally. Yeah, because. look, when you're young, if you're. confident in something, it's hard like. people don't really like it, you know? So like I remember I was like I knew. exactly what I wanted to do. I was very focused. I wanted to be in theater. I wanted to. be like working and doing things and.

there's a lot of girls who just rolled. their eyes at that. Yeah. And so yeah, I wouldn't say. bullied, but there was a lot of gossipy, like Yeah. talk behind back type stuff. That makes sense. Where girls are just. like, she's [ __ ] annoying, and then. you're like, what, because I know what I. want to do? And like, you know, I guess. like because I wasn't I think girls who. don't party, you know, I. can sometimes get that, too. It's like, oh, you're. too good to like get drunk with us. And. it's like, no, I I actually just don't.

want to like do a keg stand like on. with you right now. Like I don't want to. get wasted. But I'm happy to like hold. your hair. when you're throwing up. I I don't So I. was like that girl, and it would I think. sometimes bother girls. I get that, too. bother me. Right, you're not judging. them for doing the keg stand. You've. like got the hair tie ready. Yeah, and I. just didn't I just wasn't I wasn't like. that. But I think when you're at a place in. your life where you're like. don't feel like you're in the same.

position as people, like mentality-wise, it's hard to fit in anywhere. Like if. you're like ready to move on and. everyone's like, "We're loving this. Like we're going to the tailgate. tonight." and you're like, "Stab me.". Yeah. I think that I think these like so. young like social. structure clicky like Lord of the Flies. type like. things that happen are actually really. important. Um how you deal with them at. school and then how you deal with them.

at home with your family and like how. they're supported. Yeah. I think are so important. Like I feel. like it's good to kind of have a little. bit of friction when you're growing up. and. people saying mean things sometimes it's. like, "Oh, you know, you kind of need a little. bit of that to like. power through it and to realize like. in in in retrospect. to to be able to reflect, look back and. go, "Wow, like I'm so happy that.

that wasn't who I am and that I had a. little bit of that scarring.". It's a good point. Get me get get you through certain. things cuz it doesn't get better. Right? It does not get The world is a. I mean human nature is quite brutal. Mhm. So so like how do we. you know, when those small communities. like. you're going to have friction in high. school. I mean what was your friction? Mine was I definitely like I had a.

similar experience where like I was. ready to get out. Like I knew I wanted. to do all of this. Like I was like the. video production nerd, but I was also at. the same time the jock. So like I hid. from everyone that I liked video. production and I would like lie to. everyone. They're like, "Why are you. doing that for your elective every. year?" I'm like, "I don't know. They. said like I'm good at so annoying, but. whatever. It's easy." Like I would lie. cuz I was embarrassed because everyone. would make fun of me for like liking. that [ __ ]. And I was the jock. So they're like, "You're the soccer girl. Like you can't. be both.".

And kind of what we talked about at the. beginning of this episode, it's like you. can never be both. And I think. especially for women, it's like you. definitely can't be both. That can't be. possible. And I was insecure. Like I was. super awkward and gawky. Aren't we all? And like it wasn't great, but I do look. back and in the moment I was like, "Fuck. my [ __ ] life. I need to get to. college." Then when I got to college, I. was like, "I'm ready to go to New York. City. Get me the [ __ ] out of here." Like. I feel like at every stage of my life in. those like scholastic moments, I was. like "I'm ready to leave. I'm not meant. to be here." But then I look back and.

I'm like, "I learned so much about. myself." I know, and then you kind of. look back, too, and you're like, "Oh, and then you had these great, like big, fun, awesome moments." And then. sometimes I look there's certain people. too that were just like always. wonderful. Like I I like you know, you. you kind of. I I this girl Hillary and Jessica. And. like I look at these girls, I'm like, "God, they were I wonder what they're. doing now." Like they they must be like. the greatest mother. of all time cuz they were so like even. and they had kind everybody and like.

helping you organize your own thoughts. Like "Did you get your homework done?". And you're like "Oh, yeah. Oh, [ __ ] I. you know, there's So, it's like I don't. know. You look back at that little mic. like it's like a microcosm of what. you know, the sort of bigger. right. It's like sometimes I think we. have a hard time. pinpointing like the positives in. situations. Yeah. I found an old laptop from college. and I had some like [ __ ] up [ __ ]. happen to me in college and I looked. back at like this really specific time. in my life as like negative. And I.

remember opening my laptop and like. almost getting so emotional cuz I'm like. "I had the best time. Like I [ __ ]. loved these girls and I loved these. people and I loved So, like when there's. something like negative that happens, it's hard to remember all the positive, but most of it. brain does sort of lean, you know, Yeah. more to the unfortunately to the. negative. Yeah. True. You know. Tell me about your. first love. My first love? Yeah. My first I mean my first real love was. my ex-husband. You know, I was young I. met him at when I was 20 Actually met.

him when I was 18. Okay. 19 19 uh and he was just a. like you know, not a very nice rockstar. type like. I remember thinking, "God, he was so. mean.". And then I met him again at 20 and he. wasn't that mean. I must have caught him. on a bad a bad night or something. Um. and yeah, I mean first real love of my. life. He was. How soon did you date to then get. married? Oh gosh, it was a whirlwind. It was we.

were engaged in 4 months and married at. at at 9 months and then you know, and. then like 3 years had then I wanted to. have a baby and we had Ryder and. and then and then it kind of started to. do that downward spiral. classic the classic we all know it. How. did you know you were ready for marriage. at 21? There wasn't an ounce of me that wasn't. like I didn't question it for a second. Really? Yeah, we were we were so connected and.

and. and Chris taught me so much about love. and connection and you know, it was just. a wonderfully passionate relationship. Did anyone around you be like, "Kate, please don't get married right now?". No, like my the people. I. live in let people make mistakes, you. know? Okay. So, your mom didn't care. She's. like. Yeah, and by the way, not a mistake. I. look back at my entire. you know, life at this point.

And I'm like, I actually feel like I. might have gotten it right, you know? Like Love. There's this sort of construct that that. we're supposed to do it a certain way, which I understand cuz I really believe. in the unit and I think it's what's. missing right now. Mhm. But I I I do believe that a unit. can exist differently than this sort of. like. very kind of religious. um. concept of like marriage and male-female.

relationship. Like I really believe that. a unit can be. even if someone is alone in their life. and hasn't met the love of their life. that they could have a best friend that. they live close together and they have. they can raise their children together. and like have values inside of that that. can be really important for children. So like, you know, for me. having the means and the. ability to choose to be more healthy in. relationships. means that it's easy it's kind of been.

easier for me to exit unhealthy. relationships. Interesting. Right. So. whereas if I probably didn't have the. means it would be a much more. challenging thing. But inside of that. just because you're not supposed to be. with someone doesn't mean that you can't. create a big beautiful. experience which. Totally. I don't know how I've been able to do. it, but it's like we just do it, all of. us. would you say cuz like I think you're. right and I love how you described that.

I think so many people can be judgmental. if you don't follow like the traditional. route. Like it's like 21 is too young, but then like 30 is too old. It's like. you can't [ __ ] win as a woman. Yeah. What do you What was like the best. and then the hardest parts of like being. married in your early 20s? I just like. jump in the deep end of everything. So. it's sort of like. I mean, the best thing was that I in a. time that could have been probably not. very grounded. I've always sought. home. I've always sought a there I I.

like my. cozy. you know, I'm a homebody. Mhm. And. I've always wanted a big family. I've. always wanted to work hard and have a. big, fun, crazy life, but like. you know, I am a I am a I like to be home. And so, even when I was young, I longed for that. family connect family connection. I grew. up like that. So, um.

and. so, when I met Chris, it's like when my. career was taking off, it was also a time that. you know, could have been. a whirlwind, and instead, I was in this. very grounding, loving relationship. Right. Like you had that stability, even. though like externally it looked all. chaos, cuz your life is like you're. thriving, you're a movie star, you get. to go home to this guy, and you're like, this is what I prefer. Like a cozy, great. vibe. Vibe, yeah, life.

I think something I was reading about. you that I think is really relatable is. like you talk about how when your. marriage ended, you still had like so. much love for this person, and I'm. wondering if you have any advice for. women listening of like, maybe someone. just went through a breakup, and they're. still so in love with their ex, but they. know they need to move on. Like, how the. [ __ ] do you do that? Let's be very clear. Like, if I didn't. have children, I probably would never. speak to this. Stop. I'm kidding. No, you know, the thing is like I I I.

don't know if it has something It's just. I guess it's just a. It's an attachment thing, I guess. It's. like how we attach to. pain, or why something isn't working, or. what the expectation is of what you. wanted from the relationship, and then. that expectation letting you down, um and then people suffer because. they've sort of. put such an expectation on what. something's supposed to look like.

Versus. my choice through life is just like. opening being more open. And like and that doesn't mean that it's. without pain and sadness and working. through stuff and reflecting and taking. accountability, but like. and I'll come back to the accountability. part cuz I think that's the most. important thing, but. the end of the day, you know, you I. believe you love. you know, someone if you love them once, you really love them in some way.

forever. Um. even if you can't stand them. There. if you really did if you really loved. them, if it was pure, it wasn't like. coming from some place unhealthy. You'll love them. through anything, you know, maybe not. romantically, but that will always. always be there. And I I and I do. believe that like it shifts just like. friendships shift, you know, my best. friendships have gone through times.

where we are like don't. times a day to not seeing each other for. a year, but there's a but there's always. that kind of foundation. I I believe. that with great loves of your life and I. I. will always even in the in the hardest. times be able to see. the people that I've been with and that. I've shared intimacy with like. in a loving way. I I also I also believe. that that's a choice. Like I choose to. do that, you know, I.

I I do that because I think it's. more peaceful for me, um which makes it. more peaceful for my children. But I think that the the biggest thing. about relationships and you know, when. they when they. when they end. um is is like how you're being. accountable. And I think most people hold on to all. the [ __ ] when they're not taking. accountability for their own. own thing, you know, it's like.

it doesn't matter. there's it's always there's always two. people in the relationship. So you can't. just point a finger out. That's you. always have to look back and you know. the old one finger and three pointed. back at you thing. a great. point. I love everything you just said. because I think I had a conversation I. think it was with um Camila Cabello and. she was like yeah, like it's tough like.

where does the love go? Like when you. break up with someone that you loved so. much, it's a strange thing to know like. they're alive and they're out there and. I'm here. Well, that's why that Gotye song was so. huge it was so like it hit a nerve for. everybody. Yes. Somebody that I used to know you're. like had why didn't I write that? You. know, but like yeah, I mean it's it's. tough. But what did she is that that was. No, she basically just said like. it hurts but it's like you know, it's.

not supposed to be anymore. It was we. change constantly as people like I'm the. same person but a different version of. myself when I was 21. Oh my god, I was. madly in love. I'm not in love with him. anymore but I still yes, I think you're. right. I choose to know that I still. have love for all of these people that I. loved. I think when it ends really badly. if someone like did you [ __ ] dirty. and cheated on you and you find out and. you're like oh my god, I think you never. respected me. [ __ ] That can hurt but. again, it's like how did it get to that.

point? I you can always look back at. yourself and be like could I have done. this or could I have done that? And. sometimes they're just a piece of [ __ ]. and you're like you couldn't have done. any better. I had a friend I who said something. really really great which is like. you know, when you're in something and. you're going through a wave, you know, he was also talking about it kind of. like a DNA strand like. you know, people say it's like a roller. coaster but it's more like when you're. with someone for a long time, it's like. it it's like it circulates, you know, it.

moves and. I thought that was a very. kind of a beautiful image for a. long-term intimate relationship. And as. it's shifting, when you start to feel yourself off. balance, like. it's much easier for us. to go out, to externalize it and go, "I'm not getting this or I I'm not. receiving that. I'm. Uh this is what that would look like. over here. And what if I had this over. there?" And and and And what I believe.

happens as you get older or healthier, maybe not an age thing, but like. is when you inter- you go internal, that issue or that wave or that cycle, it it starts to move differently. Yeah. seeking anything externally, you're only. really looking at it internally, which. can only in turn really make the. relationship more intimate. Yeah. And.

honestly more, you know, um I would say connect- connective. because. you're not seeking it from somewhere. else. And then if you get to that place. where you're like, "I don't know if I. can do this anymore." It's not coming. from anything you need from the outside. world. think that the concept of accountability. in relationships is like not talked. about enough, and I love that you. brought up cuz it also gives you so much. more autonomy over your own life when. you actually take accountability as. opposed to being like, "He did this to.

me." And he's like, Yeah. No. No one can. do anything to you other than like. I mean, unless you're unless you're in. like a very, very scary. gosh, yes. Abusive. Yeah. of that aside. Yeah. if someone's making you feel a certain. way, like you have the ability to. control your own emotions and your. actions and what you're doing and how. you're reacting. Yeah. And like And like. look, you know, everybody holds their. own wild card, right? And like sometimes. that wild card works for some people and.

it really doesn't for others. And if. you're holding two completely different. wild cards, it can get [ __ ] really. tumultuous and wild. But if you're. holding the same wild card, you know, if someone is like, "Hey, here's the deal. I want an open. relationship. I could never be faithful. to you." I'd be like, "Oh my god, thank. you for saying that. I can't be with. you.". Right. But like. I have so much respect for your. honesty. But if you're like, "This person told me he couldn't be. faithful to me, but I decided to be with.

this person anyway, and now we're in. this tumultuous relationship and I'm. miserable." I'd be like, if I was if I. was my own girlfriend, I'd be like, "Babe, you need This is more about you. than it is about. he told you. He was honest. He was. honest. And you still rode the wave. And. yeah, you're holding different wild. cards. Like if you were like, "Great, then I'm going to do the same." And then. you guys would have a I mean, you'd be, you know, No, it's a great point. It's. like sometimes we also I think people. and it depends on where you're at I.

think health-wise. It's like I when I. was younger, oh, blinders on and like he. told me that I'm like, "No, he didn't. No, he didn't. He didn't say that to. me." And like pretending to I'm like. short-term memory. And it was because I. wanted what I wanted and I wasn't. listening to what was being said. directly to my face. Right. It's like, "Oh, you're an idiot." Like. He literally told you he's cheated on. his last 17 girlfriends. What do you. think was going to happen now?". Right. "I'm going to change him." No, you're. not. And also, you know, a lot of people I. think find themselves in relationships.

where. people feel insecure and they want to. put people down and. and you take it. And at some point, I. think a lot of women I know have been in. this situation. At some point, you know, you can point. your finger out at them, but you can. Some of you are like, why am I. accepting this? Right. Like, why am I here? Yeah. And. and it kind of feeds that like. Mhm. you know, push-pull thing that a lot of. people get very like toxically into.

Love. But No, I used to love it. I was. like, oh my god, I'm alive. I was like, Kate, I'm alive. And now, if I like would meet someone at. that point in my life, I think when I. got to like. later in my 20s, I was like, I'm. exhausted. Like, absolutely get the [ __ ]. away from me if you're like playing. games. But in my early 20s, like it kept. my heart beating. I was like. This is a thrill. And it was just all. because like I didn't want stability at. that point. Yeah, you got to learn. Yeah. got You got to go Right. Yeah. Um I have.

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listeners get 10% off their first month. at betterhelp.com/daddy. That's betterhelp.com/daddy. I'm going to give you a scenario, and I. want to know if you would keep seeing. the guy or if this would be a deal. breaker. Okay. Okay. You catch him going through your phone, and he says it's because he's been. you've been distant. How long have I. been with him? You've been together for. 8 months. Oh, done. Out. See you later.

Weird. So weird. What about 2 years? Then maybe I'd be like, okay, what am I. doing that's making you feel insecure? And by the way, you can go into my phone. anytime. You don't need to look at that. Like if I'm with someone for 2 years, I'm not one of those people that's like. why are you looking in my phone? It's. like, wait, what's my like. here's my phone. I don't. I wouldn't live with secrecy or feel. like I need, you know. Yeah. Have you ever caught someone going. through your phone? Oh, yeah. Emails.

Mhm. How did you find out? I could tell. where there was like logins, you know. It was like stupid, you know. It was. like. Stupid. Yeah, which also is like, bye. Oh. Like you got to be smarter than. that. you almost get like the ick cuz you're. like, wait, like I it would have been. like cooler if you were like so sly. Yeah, but you're but you're so. yeah. It's like, what are you doing? No. Clearly someone's on my yeah. On my iPad.

or my computer, whatever. It's like on. my phone. It's like, ding, someone just. logged into your MacBook under Your. boyfriend is all on your yeah. Stop. And. did you confront? Did you end it? It was. already on the way out. It was like It's. good to know. Yeah. Have you ever gone. through a phone? Oh, yeah. You kidding? Especially with shady guys. Like full. on. How do you get in? Oh, girls any. girl who says I would never is a liar. Oh my god, that was my favorite hobby.

back in the day. I mean at some point in. your life a girl's been like. No, I'm going to No. Yeah. Something's. up. Mhm. It's one thing if something's. not up, then you should feel. Right. It's just a random Saturday. Okay, you have trust issues. You got to. figure that out. Yeah. It's one thing if like the guy is. being fully shady and not telling you. the truth and you're like no, I need. some concrete evidence. Don't CIA. I'm going to figure this out. Then you. get it and then. [ __ ] Yeah.

I've had I mean please, yes. I It's a. It's It was a fabulous game. Okay, but. when you play the game and you find. things, how do you handle it? Because. most of the time they're like oh, it's. Nolan Void, you went through my [ __ ]. phone, you crazy [ __ ] Yeah, okay. It. doesn't matter, but I'm you're out of my. life. Like so what are we talking about? Yeah, thank god because now I'm never. going to see you again. Like that's great. But I'm really like I. I'm. Like it you would have to be doing. something.

Crazy. Really shitty. Huh? what I mean? Like oh, no. Like you wouldn't care If you're telling. me one thing and doing another and I'm. not going to do that. So I'm going to. find out and then. I also did do the thing too, which was. fun where. You just lie. Yeah, where you're just like no, I read. it. Right. I I I read it. I read this. Or I know you were here. How do you know. that? Cuz I have a friend that's the. bartender and she was there and she saw. you. Oh, it's so fun.

all of it. And then that's the best is. when you know they've [ __ ] you over. And then you come up with the best lie. of all time and it's like, "Oh my god, I'm an Olympian." This is a sport. they're like sweating. God. And you're. like, "You know what's really sad?" I. used to do this is like, "I know. everything." And then they'd go like. pale white. And they're like, "So, I. told you like I know everyone in New. York. So, when you go to. the Great White and you're there and. you're having drinks with her like what. do you think I was going to Do you think. I wasn't going to know?" And he's like.

[ __ ] his pants. Meanwhile, didn't. have any friends at the Great White. Just saw on his phone that he was like, "Meet me at the Great White." But you. make it up and then you get out of it. unscathed. But people wonder why women. should rule the world because we're. incredibly resourceful. Period. It's like guys. No. we're going to strategize this and by. the end of it you're going to be. sweating bullets and I'm going to leave. you. So. Wait, the difference is we get. notifications that you're hacking into. our computers. We come up with lies you. didn't even know we went into your.

[ __ ] iPhone. Guys are so funny. I I I I love guys so. much because they're just they're quite. They're very simple. I mean, not that. they're not like complex and you know, but like the. the foundation of how men work. Right. isn't that challenging. They're super straightforward. True. I think we expect them to be more. complicated. them more credit for sure. it actually is. You know? Half the time. if they're giving you like if you get a.

weird vibe, the weird vibe is right. Like they're cheating or they're doing. like sometimes women will be like, "Well, maybe it's because his. grandmother was not feeling well. So, maybe he's been acting weird." No, no, no. It's what you think it is. He's. cheating. Yeah. Or yeah. Or like if there's like. three burner phones, like that's there's. a problem. You know what I mean? It's. going to get weird at some point. Like. if you see a burner phone and a dog kit, just run. It's not going to be a good ending. Right. And even. happened to a couple of friends of mine.

where I'm like, "No.". What do you do if you see this in the. I'm like, "Oh my god, babe." Run. Well, first look on the on it cuz it's I I. I would love to know. thrill. You got to know. You got to have. something to talk about over dinner. Right. Or like take it. Just steal it. Just like take the phone and then never. talk to him again. And then you call the number, you meet. up with the girl, you get a cocktail. You laugh about it. No, you have to look. at it though, you're right. It's comedy.

because men are sometimes men are so. dense. I also love men and sometimes men. are so simple and they're really just. showing you their cards immediately. How old are you? 29. Okay, so you're like See, I'm in the age. where everyone's married. Okay. And we. live vicariously through our late 20s. like or early 30s friends. Yeah. Where we're like, "Oh, let me tell. you the story when I. Now we're all like, you know, like It's. like. We're in the. Okay, are you are you is is is your husband.

going to go to the. four-year-old's birthday party or you. are the girls going to this birthday? How many [ __ ] birthday parties are. there this weekend? What are we doing? Are we just staying. home? Like it's just very normal. Now. we're in like this. in the normal. We're in the we're in the. raising kids phase, which is just like. soccer games, baseball games, birthday. parties. There's no like There's no burner phone. No. No, and that's No, the Yeah, it's. like the problem is like someone I have. a friend who has someone with a burner.

phone. But sometimes you want a little burner. phone action. So no, I think that's such. a good point though. It's like ladies, stop ignoring the [ __ ] signs. If it's. right in front of you, it's probably. what it looks like. hard and you know, you have friends who. are more dramatic than others and we all. have to like let each other go through. it. True. I just don't like when people like. we know when it turns and it's unhealthy. that we need to like rally around our. friends. Like if something is. not right and. they're kind of stuck in a really.

unhealthy Yeah. and it's like not funny anymore. Yes, when it's not funny anymore. Yeah, then you're like okay, you know. what's going on and It's almost like. when the girl dinners because every all. of girlfriends talk about each other and. it's not even like behind your back. It's like, oh god, she's with him again. Like we know he's going to cheat again. and we love her to death. From that when. it gets to like I don't even want to. [ __ ] hear about it. Like you've. literally exhausted all of us. That's. when it gets scary cuz you're like now. you've alienated yourself and we feel. bad as opposed to be like, "Jessica,

what are you doing with him again?". help you. You know, it's like or or like. support it. That that's when it gets. hard. It's hard. Yeah. Okay, he's really close friends with his. ex. Oh, interesting. How like how close. is close? Like they. get lunch, I would say. every. month, every other month and they. Do they have a kid? Nope. Oh, problematic. For me, personally.

me too. If they had a kid, I'd be like, oh this is family and we have to like. bring her all in, you know? And. my other thing is like if I'm going to. have dinner with her and then you're. going to go have lunch with her, we're. good. If we're all besties, like my best. friend was my ex's. ex-girlfriend. Hold on. we Well, it's it's just it's not as. complicated as it sounds. Basically, I met my best friend through. my ex-husband. Okay. Who used to date her. Oh, fascinating.

I was married to him, I met her. We. became best friends. Got it. And that was his ex. And that. was his ex. But I but but we were. we were a loved each other. Right. There. was no like I'm going to go have dinner. with or lunch with my ex-girlfriend and. You were included. Oh, yeah, and and she'd rather be with. me than Right. hang out with him. So, like I that makes sense to me. I agree. I think it does depend sometimes on like.

did you meet. the like did you know the ex? This is [ __ ] confusing me. Like did. you know the person before or after? Like if my best friend became best. friends with my ex, I'd be like why the. where's the [ __ ] loyalty? Like you. didn't know him before me. I think it. You know what I mean? wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Okay, here we. go. You mean if your bestie. I'm dating a guy. Right. And my best friend meets him, likes him. Woo! We break up and she stays friends.

with him. Odd. It depends I guess it depends how. it ended. How it ended. It depends. my life. He cheated on me. I mean. It's tough. That's a tough one because I. think it would be like. you know, it it also depends on if you. like is she kind of into him? Right, that's fair. kind of feel when it's real or when it. isn't. No, I think I think it's also. just about like respect. Like.

communicate with your [ __ ] friends. If you're staying friends with your. girl's ex and you guys are like in love. Well. Okay, I'm going to give you a scenario. Okay? You're not friends with this girl. You're you've you have mutual friend. groups. Okay. Okay? Mutual friend groups, they. you know, run into each other here and. there at a party. Oh, hey, nice to see. you. Like, oh, good. Oh, that's great. She breaks up with her boyfriend. Okay. I don't know. Whatever. 6 months, year later. You end up with the boyfriend.

Boyfriend. Does she have a right to be. mad at you? Okay, you said the only moment I hang. out with her is like in big friend. groups. Yeah. She's She's around. like like like maybe you share a friend. but you don't. gone to a long lunch. don't have a No. Oh my god, she can't be. mad. Yeah. Okay. Absolutely not. Well, there's a. lot of people who would say otherwise. And I'm like, that's crazy. That's networking. How are we supposed. to meet anyone? I don't know you. Right. Like, if. You can't be mad at me. That's crazy.

That's [ __ ] crazy. It's It's If it's. your best friend. it. I'm That's it. It's all that. matters. Yeah. Well, if it's like even even a. like a close friend. friend, of course. Yeah. And you can have a conversation of. like, this is also tough where it's. like, it's awkward if like then you go. on. throw shade to girls that like are. dating them but they don't know them, I. I think that's I think that's weird. No, you got to move on. And I also think. if you don't have their phone number, you owe them literally nothing. I agree. Okay. Okay. I like that. We're We're moving on. He has an.

extremely high sex drive and is trying. to go every day, twice a day. I mean, I'm not mad at it. First of all, twice a day I mean. It'd be one thing if it's like. four times a day, you'd be like, this is. Like, we're exhausted. Well, and like this is like kind of. weird because like what happens when I'm. have to like. leave for a week. True. Like, is this Is.

this like. Like, is this something you need every. day regardless of whether I'm here or. not? And it also depends on I mean, his age. Uh-huh. Cuz it would sort of determine whether. or not he was Just going through it. Yeah, or like if he was young, like that. would make sense. Mhm. If he's like 40-something, like. men's libidos kind of go down at late. 20s. Right. So, he's like a sex addict. So, like if his libido's that high, it's. like, what are you on? Literally. It's like I always I always say it's. about women, especially as women get.

older, there's sort of this concept. around women that. they should become less sexual as they. get older. But the reality is is that women as we. get older are our libidos get more. intensified to a certain age. than men's. So it's sort of like this. made up thing. Right. that women as we get older are supposed. to be Right, like died out. Like we're. not even. Yeah, like we're not sexual. Yeah, when. it's it's it's literally the the.

opposite. Yeah. So somewhere down the line men. didn't really want women to be very sexy. as they got older. Right. I think. So. they kind of made it so like oh no, like. you if you're no longer. you know. mating for us, then you should just go. over here. So true. When in reality it's like women into. their forties, sometimes fifties are. like very much. Sexual. Call Her Daddy is brought to you.

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you to take a break from men for a year? Yeah. Where did you Where did I say that? Yeah. I took like a full year off. You did it? It was I was like, what? Wait. I couldn't flirt. No. Yeah. None of it. But it was great. What How old were you when you did this? 30-something. I I just I was like at that place where. I was like, I don't want to keep. repeating any patterns anymore. I have a great therapist who was like, I'm I can help you, but you have to like.

do it. Right. You got to like get off. the sauce, Kate. He's like, get off the sauce. And Well, my thing is I would get distracted, you. know. Right. You like to flirt. You like boys. You. said you love boys. I just love the I. love the you know, like, "Ooh, this is. fun. I'm going to text this person." But. it was really interesting cuz. it he took me like basically I was like, "Okay, well, I guess I'm I can't even. text guys." You couldn't flirt. If a guy. came up to you, you're like, just not.

interested. Yeah, I mean, I could talk to them, but. I I I I was like, there's no I couldn't. give them my number. So, I'd be like They'd be like, "Can I. have your number?" I'd be like, "You. know, No. No. Like, I'm not I'm not in I'm not. there right now. But it was. strangely empowering because. it got very uncomfortable for me in the. beginning like the first couple months. I was like, you know, my my mojo was like, I was just like, uh God. I was like, I.

might have I was like, you know, you know, just felt like I hadn't I. I was like, what What am I. doing? Like, what I I I. I'm not like Not me. Yeah, it just was a. It's not fun. You know, and so I was. like, well, and then because we were going through. very specific type of therapy, it was. really about like. figuring out. certain things that were happening to. me. Yeah. And then I had this one.

sort of breakthrough. um. that was very emotional that I don't. think I would have been able to access. if I had any distraction. So, like, it allowed me to see things much more. clearly. And then, within 6 months, I was like, I didn't care about my phone. I didn't. care about like if I was going to go out. with me and my girlfriends. I wasn't. like. that thing where I'm like, oh, I wonder. if so-and-so would be there or like, oh,

we should maybe call up so-and-so and. then do that, you know. There was no desire for me to be. doing anything that had anything to do. with. potential. you know, flirtation. Right. So, um. then when I was in with, you know, doing. that, and I remember my therapist a year. later was like, Okay, you can I think you can flirt. again. I was like, What? I can flirt? And he's like, yeah. I was.

like, What does that mean? I was like, how do I flirt? I like forgot. And then, I remember like all these guys. would start texting, and I'd be like, I didn't have the same attachment to it. anymore. It just It just went away. That's fascinating. get that like, ooh, you know? I I was. just like, oh. No, I No, it it just. didn't have the same like pull. Interesting. It sort of became and then the guys that. I would normally have been like, "Ooh.".

was like, "Nope.". That's That's pretty amazing. So you lasted the year. Oh, yeah, I'm. very disciplined. Damn. Yeah, yeah. It was good. One year. One year and. Yeah. It's pretty incredible. I was on longer cuz I was I would then I. was so happy single. I was single for. like 3 and 1/2 years. Being single is. incredible if you're like in the right. place and like you're mentally focused. on yourself. You feel like, "I am. [ __ ] great. I don't need anyone." And. that's where you want to get to when.

you're single. Like I. it. I have empathy for women that when you. get through out of a relationship, you. almost have those withdrawal symptoms of. like, "Oh my god, I'm used to having a. partner. I'm used to having them here.". Then you get good at being alone, you're. like And I don't think if I would have. done that, if I would have if I didn't. do that, I would never have ended up. with Danny, you know? Let's talk about. Danny. Yeah, because Danny like. he's just he's just such a good man and. I I'm not so sure I was like attracted. to the good man.

I mean, I was attracted to good men. But. like, you know, that the the the. uncomplicated. kind of. Um I like the feisty wild type and. whereas Danny has that in him, it it he. his values are very sturdy and. he's. such a. lovely person and. I would have never I think allowed that. in if I didn't take those 3 years of. just.

being so happy in my life alone. But I think that's a great thing for. like all the women listening to think. about. It's like. when you're single, you get anxious of. like, "Okay, like I need to find who's. my next person." Like, "Oh my gosh, like. my clock. Like what am I going to do?". And it's like if you just chill, half. the time when you get to the end you're. like, "Oh, I don't need anyone. Like. they got to be [ __ ] great if I find. someone.". There's this really funny like I I'm I'm. I see I I of course get fed all these. like Aries memes.

Um and there's this one where they're. like, "I'm an Aries, of course I did it. a Like and there was one person goes, I was it like, "I'm an Aries, like of. course I love to be in relationships.". And then he's like, "You like me back?". Like and just ran runs in the other. direction. And I think there's a little. bit of like the Aries thing which is. like we like newness. Yeah. Adventure. You know, like excitement. So like. the sort of. good man like solid relationship is like.

Aries I think a little bit in our head. of like a little like. Mm, is this going to like. is there going to be something that's. going to keep this interesting or is. this the rest of my life? And I I think. a lot of like fire signs would relate to. this and uh-huh. So I So for me that those three years. was like, "Oh, I'm actually like really. love. I loved being. without um.

because I was so happy alone. Mm. Like I the ex- that that sort of. like. excitement thing was like, "I don't. That's actually not really what's going. to You're like, "I'm exciting." Yeah, I. excite myself. That's right. It's like I. can I can create my own [ __ ]. new newness. You and Danny had known. each other for 15 years. before you guys got together? I met. Danny when I was 23 pregnant with Ryder. And Danny was in high school, yeah.

Who made the first move? Danny. Yeah, he was very very slow slow. burn. So slow I was like. I was like, "This is getting This is. weird. Like is this Is Is this like a. thing or is this like not a thing, you. know? He's really cute and he's really great. That's so cute. I know. He's the best. I I honestly, like, I'm. I'm just. It's like I'm so happy. Good for you. Cuz I I think it's like incredible when. you find I I love when you find people.

in your life that you Like, I can tell. you're like you're glowing when you talk. about him. I could just like, you know, I I really. believe that there's a lot of different. people in your life that you could have, right? It's like there The options are. endless. When people are like. "I can't find anybody." I'm like, "You're not looking in the right. places." Like, there's somebody for. everybody. You have to just be. open to it. It has to And you have to. let the expectation go. Like he's not.

going to look the way you want him to. look. And he's might not You know, all. this like, "This is my vision board.". Like, be comfortable if the person on. your vision board is the opposite Right. of who the guy you want to fall in love. with is. Because I really believe that like part. of what stops us from Yeah. experiencing like great love is. that we. are. shrinking the idea down to something. really small. So, we're not open to. Right. Like, you may be with someone. that's right in front of you, but you're. like, "But that's not what I wanted.".

And you're like, "But if it's right, it's right. Like, don't run away just. cuz it's not your vision board, [ __ ]. Like, throw out Pinterest.". That's right. That's right. But it's good to have vision boards. I. like it. But like But like be open to. something totally different. What does independence look like for you. in a relationship? Great question. Oh, this question's so important. I. think like. it's so hard because. communication. I think in order to be in.

truly have like independence, you have. to be good communicators. Because. everyone's idea of their needs are so. different, you know? And I am very. independent. The other thing about Danny, he's so. like. he just like lets me. be you. be me. And I it's like. I could you know, I could be like. I really want to go out with my. girlfriends tonight and I really want to.

be with you. He'd be like, "Go, babe, go." And I could like be out till. 4:00 in the morning. end up in some thing and come back and. be like, "Oh my god, I had the craziest. night." And he's like and he's just like. totally Yeah. o- okay with it. Like in. in a in a in a good way. He loves when. I'm happy. And. it was the if it's the other way around, I'm like Yeah. Why were you out? a second. What were you up to? 4:00 in the morning? Who What What could you have been doing? Whose car did you end up in?

No, literally say that. I I I um. but I really did like but like. independence is like what works for. Yeah. you. Like what might work for me. doesn't work for him. So, in order for me to feel independent, I. think you have to communicate what that. is. Like. my thing is. I just want to be told. You know, like just tell me. that you're you know, where you are, like tell me what you need, and then I'm.

good. What I don't I'm I have a hard. time with like not knowing. Right. Right. Some people are fine with. not knowing. They're much more. comfortable with that, secure with it. My thing's like if you tell me. that you're going to call me. at 11:00, but you call me at 2:00, like. that's going to not create independence. for either of us. No, I think it's a. great point. I could talk about this. [ __ ] all day long. I love it. I could talk to you forever because I. love having insightful conversations.

where. we don't have the same background, So, I'm interested to hear like, "Ooh, like. what is your take on this?" And. Yeah, I'm also like a full disclaimer, I. should just wear like I don't know what. I'm talking about. either, but it's fine. Like I's like uh for me I'm also like. I'm saying this, but I also am very. happy to be wrong about all of that. run the world. So, like okay. Um this. album, I think it's incredible because. like I said, you have an incredible. voice, but the songwriting is. phenomenal. And knowing that you said. you have like hundreds of songs just.

like in your house, how did you decide. what you were going to put into this. album? We just started fresh. There was. no like I mean, there's like there's two. songs on there that that I wrote before. I started writing with Linda. And then. after we got out of the studio writing. with Linda Perry, who's a writer on a. lot of it, we went back Dan and I went back and I. we kind of. um. you know, restructured two other songs. that I had written before but they. they're it's all like.

of that time, you know, so Well, that's. why I'm like listening to like the push. and pull and and moving on. Like there's. a lot That's why I wanted to talk to you. about you and I think that's when people. connect the most with lyrics when they. get to know someone more and I can I'm. telling you my fans [ __ ] love music. So, they're going to be like, "Now that. we know Kate Moore, the lyrics will. Honestly, it's like such a it's it's. it's like. because I waited so long to put. something out, it was really important. that there it was a it was reflective.

So, that there was like. for me that it was where I'm at now, but. that there's a that there's a the story. of sort of. you know, a life well loved. And whether. that be with my son or whether it be. in past relationships that didn't work. out or where I'm at now in with my. Romeo, which was which is. you know, and that's just Danny and I. wrote that together and but like you.

know, that kind of. the the freedom in that song, you know, um. and. I have always been a hopeless romantic. And I'm going to take the word hopeless. out of it cuz I actually feel that. there's there's I'm a hopeful romantic, you know, it's like and the hardest songs for me. to write are the hopeful ones and. that was so important for me in this.

because I'm so like. my brain loves a depressing song. Like I. I mean, if you go into my. vault of music, it's just there's so. much depressing [ __ ] in there. It's. crazy. And it will come out at some. point. I really like I have to. I have to. But like for me with this, I wanted it. to feel like what the album title is. Like there's. to to to love fully is a glorious. experience and it it it comes to you in.

so many different ways and like we're. talking about like if you're open to it, then you. you know, you're then you're I think. you're living a really like. well-loved. life as long as you're a good person, treating people respectfully and you're. honest. No, I can't thank you enough for. coming on. Like I had such a fabulous. time getting to know you and I'm so. excited that I got to sit with you for. this long to like talk about all the. girl things, but talk about the music. because it is intertwined like you said. like this is a this album is about love.

and like the experiences that you've had. and I think it's inspiring, honestly. I. think some people feel like constrained. to like that was the one love of my. life. You can have so many loves of your. lives and you can have so many loves and. you can love people in different ways. and you shouldn't look at back at your. past in negative way. Like every chapter. is new chapter and just like lean in and. have a good time. Yeah, and like going to find out is like. a about not wanting a relationship. Right? Single for you. for 3 years. You know, that's kind of like a song. about when you.

just want to like. when you don't that that like. little you know, like spark that you. have with someone where you're just like. is this going to go down, you know? Okay, last question that I know you have. to go. What is your favorite song? to go make out with a guy. I have one. scene to do today. I'm making out with a. total stranger. What? I've been like. really stressing about this. god, and you're coughing. I I have. COVID. [ __ ]. I'm not telling him. have to make out? Like full make out.

tongue? to like make out with this random guy. How long? How many takes? see it on Netflix at some point. Stop. Yeah, I don't I don't know, but I'm I've. been like having anxiety over this cuz I. I've never. for that? You just. know. I've never I What I do is I'm. channeling Emma Stone in. Mhm. in um, you know, Poor Things. Poor Things. Poor Things. You're channeling Emma Stone. Poor. Things. If she could do that, you can do this. I can do this. You know. what I mean? I can make out with some.

random guy. Easy. And I. Yeah. So. Well, thank you so much for coming on. This was truly so fun. You're fabulous. Thank you.