Janelle Monáe: We Should Thank Our Exes

What is up, daddy gang? It is your. founding father, Alex Cooper, with Call. Her Daddy. >> Janelle Monae, welcome to Call Her. Daddy. >> Thank you so much for having me. >> I'm First of all, I'm just so excited to. meet you. I'm a huge fan of all your. work. I was listening to your music on. my way here and I'm like, okay, you are. giving sexual, sensual, fun, party. vibes. It's It gives all the vibes. Your. album is amazing. I'm so happy to have. you here. Oh, thank you so much for.

having me on this course. I'm I'm a big. fan of your show of your experience. rather. So, uh I was really happy when I. found out we were going to do this. So, thank you. >> Thank you. Okay, tell me how your. summer's going. You were on vacation. Where were you? Let us pretend we were. there with you. >> Please. [laughter] I'm like, can we all. just go on vacation for the whole. summer? Come on, everybody. Everybody, let's do this. Let's all agree that. summers are for vacations.

paid for by the government. >> I love this energy. >> Paid for by the government. >> Let's We're going to like manifest it. here now [laughter]. because it's like when you were younger, I feel like summers were always vacation. cuz off of school, but when you become. an adult, nothing is fun anymore. We're. like, how? We need to go on vacation. Okay. So, where were you? >> Okay. So, I was in Abbya. >> Aa. >> Spain. Okay. >> Um, and then I stayed there for probably. like five or six days, which was like an.

experience. Like it is a party place. So, we did not go to sleep. I went with. like 10 of my other friends and we. didn't go to sleep till like 7 in the. morning every morning. I can't even say. night, >> right? >> But it was so fun. It was that. that ooch oo music. I kind of like ooch. ooch, but I need like some hip-hop, some. something mixed in with it. But but it. was so fun. The sunsets are beautiful. And then the second portion of the vacay.

was Jamaica. >> I've never been. >> Oo rios. Beautiful people, the food, the. chicken patties, the beef patties, the. shrimp curry. Oh, the plantins. I had at. least 152 plantins. >> What? >> One by one. Oh. >> yeah. Saying that I'm like I feel like. I'm there with you. >> H it was like it was heaven. >> So I will say I'm sort of mentally still. there. >> It's okay. We can like keep it chill.

We're on vacation. This is summer. Like. we're just going to relax today. Okay. >> Let's relax. And it's so interesting. that you say like as kids growing up. It. just reminded me like I didn't take. vacations as a kid. >> Okay. >> I think that's why I'm so adamant about. it now. I didn't, you know, my parents. worked a lot and and we uh didn't get. the opportunity to go outside of Kansas. Um so I didn't take my first vacation. until. >> really my first album came out. >> and now you're like, I deserve this.

>> I'm making up for lost time. >> As you should. That's phenomenal. I feel. like when I go on trips with my friends, there's someone in the friend group. that's like the planner that's like the. reservations and the itinerary person, and then there's people that are more. like chill and just going with the flow. Who are you in the friend group? >> Oh my god. I'm the one actually sending. out the group texts. Like dinner, I. could be at the club. It could be 4 in. the morning. I'm like, is going to be. served at 2:00 p.m. Breakfast for. anybody between 9 and noon. Um, dinner's.

gonna be at eight. Like, I love making. the itineraries. I'm that friend. >> You're the dream though. >> I'm I'm Yeah. And people are like, "Janelle, why are you doing?" And I just. I don't know. I just love curating. experiences. Yeah. >> I grew up actually. >> um. >> throwing parties with my best friends, middle school, >> sixth grade, seventh grade. We would. rent out this location in one of our. friends neighborhoods, this little white. building, and we would charge people a.

dollar to get in. And I would hide in. the bathroom cuz I didn't know who was. going to come. I had so much anxiety. around it. And then once it would get. packed, my friends would come underneath. the stall because I locked myself in the. bathroom. They'd be like, "It's packed. Come out. Come out, [ __ ] Get out. Get. out. Get out." And so I've just always. loved curating experiences for people. I. I mean I think that's a like a great. trait [laughter] and quality to have. Like I feel like that makes a lot of. sense of like what what I wanted to talk.

to you about today is obviously your new. album, The Age of Pleasure is out. And I. was while I was listening to it, I'm. like you have such a specific great vibe. that's like very infectious, which I. love. And I'm curious like are you. currently in your age of pleasure? Have. you always been like and what is age of. pleasure to you? >> Ooh, that's a great question. Um, I. wasn't always in my age of pleasure. I've been in an age of fear, >> age of anxiety, age of [sighs].

just. um worry, uh, a fight, you know, fighting back against systems that seek. to oppress folks like myself and the. people that I love and centering that. Um, and with this album, which I. actually don't even call an album. I say. that it is a soundtrack to a lifestyle. It's a lifestyle. You know, we live. this. Um, I wrote this this this project.

for my friends and for me. And I was. just like, if we [ __ ] with it, >> that's all I care about. >> So, I would throw parties at at my house. with my friends who own this um party. collective called Everyday People. And. if I knew we were going to be having and. hosting them on a Saturday, that Monday. or Tuesday, we would go into the studio. and we would write like two to three. songs that would work in the DJ's. playlist. >> I wouldn't tell anybody it was me. >> I would not like make a big thing about.

it and I would be very nervous like, "Oh. my god, oh my god, oh my god, are people. going to sit down?" Because if people. sat down, it was not going to go on the. album. If people were not Shazam, it. wasn't going on the album. And so every. song that you hear, all of my friends, all of the people who were with us. celebrating in this safe space, um, they. are responsible for the songs making the. album. >> That takes a lot of confidence, but also.

just like self-awareness [laughter]. to be like, I'm going to play my friends. my songs. They're going to have no. [ __ ] idea it's me [laughter] and. watch. Let's see if they vibe with it. So like every sing cuz I was thinking I. when I was listening to Champagne [ __ ] I. was like okay like this is a vibe like I. would listen to this like getting ready. with my friends like getting ready to go. out like but then I'm all I'm wondering. like so you're sitting there being like. do they like it? Do they like it? And. then you're like check that's going on. the soundtrack. >> Yep. I'm like how do people move? Okay.

>> What or I saw some people shazaming and. then some people would be like wait is. this but I never would confirm. I would. go hide and be like, you know, having. somebody else tell me what's going on. Um, but yeah, like it's it's as an. artist presenting anything before the. world gets it. Like for that first time, >> I talked to a lot of my artist friends. and we're all like it is one of the most. like scary things ever, scary feelings. to have because it comes from such a. pure place when we create and for it not. to be accepted, you don't know. You you.

know, you you take it. But for me, I got. I I was like, I'm ready. I'm okay. I had. to heal some [ __ ] you know, cuz cuz. some of that is attached to to just. rejection issues, abandonment issues, like people don't like my stuff that. could go down to the root of an issue. that you just need to fix. And I. definitely used um a portion of this. pandemic to. >> to sort of work on that and to get to to. my own, you know, traumas that I had to. heal and to get to a place to where I.

was like, wait, >> I've been really centering fighting so. much that I don't even know what my life. is like outside of that. Who am I? You. know, I talk I I I like who am I outside. of the fight? >> You know, who am I? And so I had to sit. with myself and ask myself and you know. when I think about the word pleasure. there is no pleasure without feeling. safe. >> I didn't always feel safe. >> That's so I appreciate you sharing that. because I one can relate in terms of.

like putting something creatively out. there and being [clears throat]. extremely nervous to see obviously like. are people going to like it? On top of. that, obviously you infusing parts of. you with your sexuality and race and. growing up and your experiences. Like. that's like a really vulnerable moment. to be infusing something into a work of. art and then like fingers crossed hoping. people like it. You kind of have to. slowly be really good with yourself to.

be able to know like sure I can like. perfect my craft a little bit more, but. down to the core like if people don't. like it, I'm still going to be okay with. myself. And that must take time though. >> Exactly. It does. It takes a lot of. unlearning. Yeah. >> It takes a lot of um. >> [ __ ] with yourself, >> you know, and and and like I have to say. like you have to be like I [ __ ] with me, >> you know? Yeah. Okay, somebody doesn't.

like a song that I made, but that. doesn't make me a bad songwriter. >> Yeah. >> That doesn't make me a bad artist. That. doesn't mean that I should just throw. away my whole career, you know. And you. have to just understand that sometimes. we're not always in the same space that. we can take in. >> Yeah. >> You know, take in the message or the. energy that an artist is trying to put. out. >> And um there's nothing wrong with that. It's just like, okay, this didn't. resonate with you. Okay, >> but I don't give you that power over me.

You're not more powerful. Your thoughts about my art are not more. powerful than my thoughts about my art. >> Yeah. It's so real what you're saying. too because even when I was listening to. you say like I was fighting for so much. of my life like and when am I going to. get out of this stage? That's also the. beauty of art is like it will come to it. when you're ready. Like your music would. have sounded so different in your. fighting stages versus now when you're. like I [ __ ] love myself. I'm more.

clear on who I am. I'm more secure in. certain things that were like eating me. alive maybe when I was younger and going. through it. And you can tell like this. album I like it makes you smile. It. makes you feel yourself. It makes you. just like want to live. And I I don't. know if that sounds corny but like. >> it's fact. No, it's really beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing. >> Yeah. Every moment of your soundtrack. felt very. >> thoughtful and and put together and it.

is a story. So, I just I'm a creative. person, so I just want to let you know I. really respect you and it's great. >> Thank you. You know, I I wanted to focus. on feeling, too. You know, I think. feeling is what music uh gives us. It. makes us feel. It makes us want to. dance. It makes us want to party. It. makes us want to cry. Makes us want to. feel ourselves and feel sexy, have sex, all those things is such a powerful. energy. And the fact that it a feeling. that I had that I felt like man this is. this makes me feel good knowing that.

that makes you feel and we are just. meeting each other. >> That's such I think that's such a. beautiful exchange. So thank you so. much. >> Of course it's interesting you kind of. mentioned this earlier and I want to. talk about it. I know you've talked. about going to therapy and working on. yourself and I know you're at a great. place in your life and you know the age. of pleasure but let's go back a little. bit. Mhm. >> What is the biggest part of yourself you. had to heal in order to be who you are. sitting here today?

[snorts]. >> Oh wow. You know, one of the things that. I had to do. was. again deal with my rejection and aband. abandonment sort of trauma. >> Um where did that start from? You know, my dad and I, who we're like this now, were super. close. But my dad struggled with. addiction growing up. And so, he was in. and out of my life. And so, there were.

just times where I didn't know if he was. really going to come and pick me up. You. know, I I just I did the trust wasn't. there. I felt let down. There were, you. know, moments um that that that happened. all the way up until, you know, high. school and and and other things that. happened. So, I had to go back to those. times that were painful that those times. that I I just had to forgive my dad. >> I was like, I have to forgive you. You. were struggling with drug addiction. You. were not um the best version of.

yourself. And now that you are, we get. to make up for that. We get to make up. for that time. And as I healed that and. I talked to him about it, a lot changed. for me. as I forgave him, I forgave my. own self for spending so many years, you. know, um, in that dark space and. connecting that to my art, you know, if. if if I thought that I had done. something wrong, >> you know, why wasn't he showing up for. me? And so when you go and you in in the.

back of your head are thinking that. you're doing something wrong that your. own dad isn't around. If in your art you. feel like people are not liking what it. is that you're doing or they're judging. you or whatever. It's so all it's. intertwined. >> You know the feeling of like them. leaving you like your dad left you. You. never want to feel that. And so I had to. get to a place where I was uh I. understood what that was and I had to. let go and I had to be okay with knowing. that there's nothing wrong with me if if. if folks don't want to come to my party.

>> You know, even me hiding in the. bathroom, they don't they didn't want to. come to my party. Okay, that doesn't. mean there's anything wrong with me. My. dad, it wasn't nothing wrong with me. while my dad wasn't around. He was. struggling. He was battling. And people. are battling so many things. people are. into different things that perhaps what. you're you're doing doesn't necessarily. align with it or they just plain might. not like it and that's okay. But do you. like you? >> I think it's so interesting when you.

start to connect to your childhood and. how your parents raised you and you know. what trauma did you go through? when you don't deal with it, there's. just like this anger in you or there's. this like resentment and there's just a. part of you even if you don't want to. label it that like there's just. something in you that you feel like you. haven't resolved. >> And a lot of times we don't have the. perspective of kids of like oh like this. wasn't intentional that my dad was doing. this to like neglect me and make me feel.

abandoned but it happened. And so two. things can be true, right? Like he. wasn't trying to like inflict pain on. you. but it affected you and until you go. through all of that, it's going to. influence the way that you move in life. >> that you see life. >> But even you saying it's interesting. like it affected your art. I'm. interested to know how did it affect. your personal relationships with this. theme of abandonment within you? >> It affected them for sure. Yeah. It was.

just like trust issues. >> Um. >> you know, breakups were intense. Y. >> cuz it just mirrored that. But now like. there were moments where you know I was. dating someone and you know we broke up. and and and I just was like I will never. talk to this person again. >> The way they made me feel. >> I will never talk to them again. And. after I started to um go through therapy. and I have an emotional support coach. that I talked to um after which by the.

way therapy like we're we're we're. benefiting from therapy. I just really. wish that it was free for every person. around the world. I really, really, really do wish that there was a fund. that everybody could access to where. they could have therapy. They could have. somebody to talk to and work through. I. do believe that we will be in a much. better shape as a community, as a. nation, as a world. Um, so I just wanted. to say that because I feel like, damn, I. wish everybody could go could experience. these things.

>> Um, so I was like, I would never talk to. this person again. And after I went. through, you know, understanding and and. getting to the root of like my my. rejection, abandonment, um, trauma, >> you know what I did? >> I thanked the person. >> who I was in a relationship with and and. it did not work out for us. I thanked. them. I said, "You know what?". >> And my emotional support coach said that. I was going to do that. It's like you. are going to thank this person because.

you know what this person did for you? They forced you to deal with something. that you were not going to deal with. >> They pushed you to go back to the root. of the problem. You were not going to do. it. You were moving. You were too busy. moving. You didn't have time. But that. relationship, the ending of that. specific relationship forced that. And I. literally called that person and I. thanked them. I said, "Thank you so. much. You have no idea. Like I was.

really walking around here hurt and you. forced me to like, >> you know, and so they started sharing. things with me." They were just like, "I. just wasn't ready. I was confused. myself. I did not trust. It was going so. well for for us. I'm so used to chaos. >> that I didn't I felt like this was not. going to end how I wanted it to end. I. I'm also dealing with rejection issues.". So, we just kind of healed through each. other [snorts]. >> and and that and and and it helped me in.

my other relationships. I was like, here. are the here are the things that I was. doing because of my trauma. When I'm. free from that trauma, I'm like a really. really really like beautiful partner to. have and it just helped me to understand. how I want to show up for for my future. partners. >> Call Her Daddy is brought to you by. Bright by Scotchbrite. We all know how good it feels to reset. our space. Whether it's actually messy. or you're just overwhelmed and you need. something in your life to feel under.

control. Sometimes a quick clean is the. best way to get back on track or you. know what, just boost your mood. Okay? And for me that starts with Bright. Bright's line of sponges. Let me tell. you something, they are next level and. honestly they make cleaning just they. just make it a little bit more fun. Okay? They have three different options. depending on what you're tackling. The. palm scrubber has a super comfortable. grip for tougher jobs. Then there's the. dish wand. Ooh, I love a dishw it.

basically keeps your hands out of the. mess. It's easy to fill, leakproof, which hello, we love. And lastly, the. scrub and wipe sponge. Has one side for. scrubbing and one side for soap. It is. genius. Thank you very much, Daddy Gang. These aren't just boring sponges, okay? They come in fun colors, cute shapes, and even have little compact stands that. actually look good sitting next to your. sink. Plus, they stay fresh, and are. tough enough to handle serious scrubbing. without scratching your dishes. Thank.

you again very much. Boost it with. Bright Shop. Now, isn't that so interesting when you meet. people in life that obviously again like. you needed to work on yourself to be. able to have that hindsight and be like, "Wait, that was so helpful.". in partnersh. incredible and if you can get past that.

hurt initially. >> we really should be thanking all of our. exes cuz it's like even if you cheated. on me like I have partners in the past. that I had so much resentment and anger. and I look back and I'm like there's so. much I learned about myself and my. resilience and my worth and it's like. had that not happened of course there's. moments in life where like I wish no. harm on anyone but like certain themes. that you can take find the good part of. it rather than feeling so negative and. angry cuz that gets us nowhere.

>> Yeah. >> So it's interesting to hear you talk. about like how you connected with that. person. >> at first being like I'll never talk to. you again and then you're like wait a. second thank you. >> Thank you. Like [ __ ] thank you. And I. will say though, I mean, I know it's. like sometimes with exes because I also. had an ex that was just like, man, I. wish I really had this new version of. you. >> like when we were dating. I wish that I. >> was around that was the person you. showed me. And I was just like, yeah, I. I agree, but listen,

>> what do you want me to say? Like, I. wasn't I wasn't ready. I was growing. I. needed to grow. And. >> you know, >> um I'm sorry. You know, >> true. And you know what's interesting. but I've had I remember an ex I had kind. of similar to that. But you also wonder. like. >> but if I was this new version of myself, we probably wouldn't have been together. cuz you were attracted to me then we. ended up for some reason, right? >> Cuz we were both toxic as hell. >> as hell. >> We both were toxic and.

>> so like you can wish. >> Yeah. It wouldn't you would we I would. definitely would not this new version. would have not dated you know that that. that that person. I love you. >> Yes. >> I love you but there's just no way that. I could put myself back. >> uh into that sort of like cha chaos. >> Yeah. >> And it's like again it's like you're. both growing. So for him to be even able. to see your growth phenomenal. Love it. Amazing. But we probably needed to go on.

our own ways to actually get whole and. good and feel healthy within ourselves. And maybe that's just not the right fit. But at the time it was. Yeah. >> And so we can appreciate each other's. growth, but we're not going to grow. together. >> Yep. We we we grew together. And and. that's a beautiful thing. I always want. the best for people. Like even if we're. not together. >> as a human, that also helped. contextualize breakups. It's like even. though we're not together, I don't want. anything negative to happen to you. I. don't want you to I don't want anything. bad to happen to you as a human. I want. the best for you. And if that means that.

it's not with me at that time or at that. season, then so be it. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> If someone's listening to this and is. like, "Wow, I really relate to you.". Maybe they had someone in their life. that didn't show up for them and was. constantly, you know, neglecting to be. there and show up. Mhm. >> What did actually working through. that childhood trauma like look like for. you? Because I can see some people like. Janelle, how do I even begin to like.

repair this? Like where do I start? >> Um. I mean like I said, I just wish. everybody could afford therapy. So, if. but if you can. >> try to get you a good therapist that you. can just talk freely to that can help. you like and don't lie to them, >> you know, don't lie. >> Be transparent. Tell the truth. Have. make sure that they they're pushing you. >> Um and.

you need to not be afraid to do the. work. It's going to be painful. It's. going be a lot of tears, a lot of. crying, a lot of just like confusion, but just know that you're growing. Like you know better, right? You're know. you're you're understanding you a lot. more. And sometimes that that feels. confusing to your body, to your cells, because you're literally being like. rerouted. Like the way that your mind is.

is is being re rewired. M. >> So, it's going to feel uncomfortable, but just stay the course. >> cuz I promise you that if you do the. work, there is going to be you're going. to be like, I never thought I would see. the day. I literally never thought that. I would be this person. It's like I. planned I sort of planned it out, but to. live it out and to be living what I. dreamt about doing and and the freedom. in which I move because it's not that. like you're not going to deal with. issues and problems and things like. that, but the way that I'm so solid with.

myself now. I didn't know, you know, I I. I was free, but but there are levels to. it. >> Yeah, >> there are levels to it. So, just stay. the course and you'll reach the next. level. I love that advice because even. hearing you talk, it's like we all reach. a point in life when we haven't dealt. with our [ __ ] where it just starts. coming up more and more. Relationships. are failing, friendships are having. issues, there's things at work like it. just starts to creep up and those are.

usually the moments where in a good way. like you cannot deny you need to address. it. And I love that you said it's so. [ __ ] uncomfortable, >> but you got to do the work cuz then you. won't be uncomfortable. But you're going. against something that you literally. have been living this way your whole. life. So you're going like against the. grain. >> You're going against yourself. Your. future self is fighting your. >> past version, old version of yourself. >> Damn. >> It's like Looper. >> in a sense, but different, right? Right. Anyway, >> um you mentioned now that you have a.

good relationship with your father and I. can imagine there are people really. relating to you today also of like how. did you know it was time for that you. were going to be able to forgive and. have an actual relationship with your. dad. >> I wanted it. You got to want it too. Sometimes you're just like. I don't really want a relationship just. because you birthe or helped bring me. into this world. Like as a person, you. can be like, I don't really want this.

And that's totally fine. I think I. wanted it because my dad is cool. Like. my dad also had a music career, but. drugs got in the way of that. And so me. and him can talk music. He understands. like all my favorite artists or his. favorite artists. When I put out. Lipstick Lover, all of the art that that. I'm doing, my dad supports it. Like he's. like, I want you to know as your dad, I. think what you're doing is brave, is. sick as [ __ ] I love you. I want you to. know I got your back. Like as a black. man in this in living in this country,

I'm supporting you, my queer, non-binary. um you know, artistic daughter. Like I'm. here for you. >> And I knew he always had that sort of. that's sort of where I get both my. parents are like shows like they could. each have their own TV show and people. they would not care about me. they'd be. like, "Your mom and your dad, like, you. know, they're not together because. they're very much so alike in in many. ways. You know, they're they're super.

like flamboyant and their personalities. can take up a room." Um, but good, sweet. people. Um, so with my dad, I always. knew that like when it was time to take. risks, that was going to be the person. that was going to. >> affirm me. And I and I and I wanted that. and I needed that. And also for him, I. wanted to give him another opportunity. post like being sober to know me, >> you know, to know me. I think I think.

that that for both of us, we needed. that. Like I needed to have the support. >> of of of my dad. >> And I felt like for him to have been. because he had also gone to prison. So. he had been locked away for years. And I. was like, I want him to come out sober. and to know what it's like to receive. love from me. >> Was that. >> not guilt? >> How old were you when your dad went to. prison?

>> I'm timeless. So. >> yeah, you're like doesn't matter. I was. I was alive at some point. >> Yeah, I know. No, but I was uh this it. was on and off, you know, middle school, elementary school, >> high school, like always. you're so. successful in so many different areas. Like you're an author, you're an actor, you're a singer. It's insane how. talented you are. And I'm thinking. again, it's always like we never know. what someone goes through. Like you. rising to fame, >> having your father, you know, having.

these struggles like. >> were you ever just was was he still. struggling when you first came up and. started to get famous? >> Yeah. Yeah. Well, no, he was that's when. he sort of got got clean. So, that was. great. That was good. I needed that. right at that time. >> Uhhuh. Because I was going to say like. damn like. >> everyone probably seeing you in the. tabloids and everything like having all. this success and yet. >> you want to repair a relationship with. your father because.

>> there's nothing everyone can relate when. you do something so good at work or in. school or you want to call your parents. >> and you cuz you know there's no one. that's going to be more proud of you and. so I appreciate you sharing that little. bit because it's like yes you have all. this success and but family. And again, when I say family, I always make sure to. clarify like I don't care if they're. blood. Like, you don't have to be with. people that abuse you or whatever, whatever you consider who your family. is. To be able to repair relationships. if you want it.

>> It is kind of beautiful cuz you get to. share your life with people that love. you and support you and there's no. jealousy. It's just like we [ __ ] love. you. Like your mom outside the talent. shows being like that's [laughter]. like mom stop. >> No, it's really cute. Call Her Daddy is. brought to you by Ross Daddy Gang. I. don't even want to say it, but summer is. almost over. I know, I know, I know. Which means back to school season is. officially here, which is exciting. Okay. I always remember walking into. school on the first day feeling like.

summer had somehow turned into like I. don't know. I was just like a different. person after summer, you know? I'm like. after summer I'm like new me, right? You. had new stories to tell. Hopefully a. little bit new confidence. And of. course, you got a new outfit to boot and. you're hoping everyone is going to. notice. Every year, my mom and I would. hit the mall and make an entire day out. of the back to school shopping, which. was so fun. And that's really when you. start figuring out your own style, right? For all the school year has in. store, Ross has your style for it at 20.

or 60% off other retailers prices. Whether you guys are shopping for. clothes, you could be shopping for your. dorm room decor, you could be shopping. for school supplies, or you're just like. looking to refresh your wardrobe, Ross. has something for literally everyone. And for kids, it is the perfect place to. explore styles before a new year of new. classes, new friends, new experiences. It's so important to get started on the. right foot. I think we can all agree. So, for every kid searching for their. own style, Ross makes it easy to find.

it. Find your nearest Ross at. rosstores.com. >> You are very private about your dating. life. >> Yeah. >> How have you decided to make that. decision in this crazy Hollywood world. that we live in? >> I just did. I was like, hm, just. watching, observing. I was like, you. know, the people that actually are more. private. >> seem more happy to me. Mhm. >> They just seemed more happy, you know, because it's like you don't have to.

worry about, >> you know, anybody seeing your partner. over here and being like, "Oh, they're. not they're they they assume that if. you're not with them and they're seen. with somebody else that you broke up and. now you got to go answer that question, you have to go do that." And perhaps. maybe later on in life I'll open up a. little more, but for now I love having I. love protect and it really is for the. protection of of of them.

>> Yeah. >> Um I I don't want them to, >> you know, cuz I can handle sort of like. paparazzi or whatever. It's annoying. sometimes. Sometimes it's fun. I love. messing with them, whatever. But I never. want anybody that I'm dating to ever. feel pressure um because they didn't ask. for it. You know, they didn't ask for. it. So, I just like to keep. >> peace. Yeah. >> And and harmony and no expectation from. the public to know our every move.

>> I think that's really healthy. And I. think in a weird way, I do always talk. about on my show now, like I feel like. people now more than ever can kind of. relate to a lack of privacy. Even if you. have 500 followers, like we have. accessibility now to post as much as we. want. And I think there are people that. feel societal pressure to like post my. partner with me because it's like. there's almost like social currency that. comes with like being this it couple and. having whether you're in college or high.

school like this is everywhere now where. people are feeling pressured to prove. something on the internet. Yeah. >> And when you can actually step back for. a minute, I'm not saying don't post on. the internet, but like try to find a. balance within yourself of like why are. you actually doing this? Why are you. doing certain things? Is it just to get. the photo to prove something to people? >> Right? >> It's just it's not as healthy like you. know like live some type of privacy is. really good for yourself because then. you can also be with yourself like do I. like this person or do I like how I'm.

doing this or do I even want to do this? You kind of have to like make sure. you're not just doing it for the gram. >> Yeah. No, seriously. I think because. it's the norm to people to be like, well, you must post your kids and who. you're dating and you know, it's sort of. like that's the norm these days. Um, definitely I don't feel like anybody. should feel pressure. >> And I think that if you are in a. relationship where they're like, if you. don't post me, we're done. I've had like. people, we were just talking about this. when we were on vacay and there was a.

question like are would you be upset if. your partner did not post you on social. media. >> and there were a lot of mixed questions. I mean answers but I was just like we. have to talk about that first and. foremost and if we agree that we want to. keep things private then no but also. like if my love is defined by a post you. don't post me enough on social media. Like I really need to understand my own.

damn like. priorities in life. Is that really. necessary for me? So I just think it's. like for me it's not. >> Um. >> I do think people should have. conversations around it prior so that. there are no expectations and you know. cuz it could hurt somebody's feeling too. though if they feel like you're trying. to hide them. >> But that's deeper. That's like y'all. need to really [laughter]. >> literally. >> y'all need to really work through some. things. Yeah. >> No, that's true. Cuz I'm thinking about. it like I feel like there are some.

people that also now because social. media has been like very you know. prevalent for the past I guess like 10. something years. People may have been in. relationships where someone was. extremely adamant about posting them and. they almost found like when we're good. he posts me. When we're not he doesn't. post me. So when you go to your next. relationship, I bet there are some. people that have like lingering feelings. about like, well, why aren't you posting. me? And someone could literally be like, cuz I don't think we need to. I love. you. We're sitting here together. Like,

isn't this better than us taking a. selfie? So, also check in with yourself. of like, are you comparing yourself to. your friends or your past relationships? Get on the same page as your current. partner cuz they may not be being shady. at all. They're actually like, "No, I. [ __ ] love you and I don't feel like. we need. >> and I want or I want to protect you. from, >> you know, all of the scrutiny or the, you know, just just things like that. online world. It's its own matrix and. >> yeah, >> you know, it's it's tough. >> It's wild. What are you like in a.

relationship? Are you romantic? [laughter]. Are you dominant? Like what's the vibe. over there?". Um, that was also we played this game. called Oh god, I'm going to um. I got to get the get the name of it. >> Actually, it's a a black guy who made. the game card game. So, it's not a lot. of us in that space. So, I really really. have to get the name of it. Oh my god, it's so Anyway, one of the cards. >> I can link it in the description when. you if you can have your team send it.

out. You're so sweet. I got it. I got. it. Of course. Okay. But the one of the. questions was like, "What would your ex. say about you?". And we were just like, everybody was. like, "Oh, wow. That's a good one." Um, I feel like now. I am, let me think. I mean, cuz you. know, it's like, and so the qu the. question made me be like, well, this is. what I think about myself, but what if. >> that isn't what they thought about me?

like, okay, of course I'm going to say. glowing reviews about me, you know, or. maybe like a couple things that I need. to work on, but you know, it could have. been some other things. So, for me, if I. was being honest in a relationship, I. mean, I think I used to be a very like. hard to know if I really loved them sort. of person. like it was hard to get to my. heart. >> because I had just been hurt and I. hadn't really again dealt with sort of. that trauma or of of someone what it. would feel like of somebody leaving me.

>> I never wanted anybody to leave. um me. And if they did, I didn't want. them to ever feel like. I really loved you, you know? cuz like. if you if I really told you that that I. really loved you and you we still didn't. work then like wow what a stab in the. heart right. >> um but now having gone to this new space. um I'm a big communicator. >> I you know believe in evolution even in.

your partnerships. >> and even if you started out one way I'm. always open to us growing. >> and I want to make sure that as we grow. individually and as you you know, together. Um. um I've also been in polyamorous. relationships as well and I, you know, know what it's like to be with multiple. partners. So it's very important that. you know we're communicating in real. time about our feelings and if things.

are coming up like if if one person. feels like okay um. I'm having feelings of jealousy or I. need some more time with both of you or. you know uh how do we you know if we if. we need to like work on some things. >> I like to know that And I always. welcome, you know, feedback. Um I'm that. type of person. Like I I don't I don't.

ever want to be in a relationship where. uh I'm thinking we're good and we're. not. >> Yeah. Like you're wondering like. >> like just let me know because I. >> I could probably adjust. We could. adjust. Perhaps it was a. misunderstanding or perhaps like oh you. know maybe you thought you knew me or. you knew how you you don't know how much. I love you. Yeah, >> I need to be more expressive in in those. things. And. >> um so I think I'm averse, [laughter]. >> I love it.

>> So I I can be dominant, >> sub. >> like, you know, I'm non-binary as well. So I can go with the. >> I can go with the flow. >> about things. Meaning like I don't I. don't just consider myself. >> like to be boxed in as like this type of. partner. Like sometimes you need me to. be more like water. Okay. Okay. >> I need to be more like water. You need. me to be more like a rock for us. Okay. I'll be more like a rock for us. [laughter]. >> How did you know? Was there like a.

conversation or did you just know the. moment when you first had your first. polyamorous relationship? Like how did. you know that you were comfortable with. that dynamic? Well, I was already in a. relationship and and the person who was. attracted um to me was also attracted to. my partner. >> and so they made it very clear and we. just made it work. >> Okay. Would you would you continue to. have those type of relationships again? Like are you still interested in that or. has anything changed?

>> Sure. I'm open to love. you know, I'm like I think, you know, I. love going to weddings and, you know, there are certain traditions that I love. and congratulations. I know you're. engaged. >> Thank you. >> So, congrat. So, I honor love. >> and I think though love comes in. different. >> different variations and that is what I. love about polyamory is it just shows us. like just in the same way like I don't. have just one best friend. >> I have multiple best friends and I love.

y'all. you know, we love each other and. we can all hang out. I don't just love. one parent. >> I don't just love one aunt. Like I love. all of you and and um in relationships, you know, I think when uh intimate. relationships, partnerships, I think. that if we can talk about um what we. need and what works for all of us, and. I'll tell you like. >> it takes a lot of unlearning. Yeah. because we're conditioned, especially in.

this society, that this is what a union. looks like. This is what um you know, it's two people in a relationship, you. know. Um. it it it's like so you're you're you're. fighting against or not fighting against. but you're you're constantly have having. to unlearn uh uh the traditional way of. of what love looks like. And so I love. to by being my authentic self and us. being our authenticelves challenge that.

notion. >> Yeah. I love that because what is very. frustrating and I love having. conversations like this on my show. because you're right, we were all raised. with something that was like this is the. norm and it's like I'm so happy finally. I mean there's still so much work to be. done but like even with sexuality and. you know fluidity it's just like why. like it's very frustrating I think for. people that see it so clearly like let. everyone do what they want to do and. then people that are still so stuck in.

the way that they want things to have. been done for thousands of years prior. when you speak about polyamory like I. can imagine there are people that are so. judgmental of even that word like how. how do you even do that and like it's so. small minded and it's also like half the. people that are saying that are speaking. from a place of insecurity because I've. seen people do it and be like isn't he. cheating on his wife and like it's like. there's so much judgment when when it. something really frustrates someone I. always believe like there's something.

internally that like is getting you. going cuz why do you care so much but. how did you I'm assuming at some point. you have dealt with judgment and to. anyone listening that's also maybe like. going against the norm which [ __ ] the. norm let's just make everything normal. >> how Did you deal with that? >> Yeah, always, always, always. People are. intrigued. People think, you know, um I. think all sorts of things, but I think. education is important. I mean, we have. the internet, people can look things up. And I mean, my close friends are super.

supportive. Um, you know, certain family. members have been like, hm. But for the. most part, my my circle of people that I. have around have been supportive, even. if they have questions and they wonder. like, okay, all right. Cuz also people. are trying to figure out, well, hm, >> is that what I need or what we need? Or. >> cuz I definitely been cheating on my. significant other for a very long time. But what if after all we just.

>> needed a third? We needed somebody else, you know, that that loved us and we. loved them um. >> to to to to be a part of our union. You. know, people are trying and people are. scared. I understand that too. Some. people are scared to go against. tradition and. >> you know, some people come from. conservative environments. I came from, you know, a conservative Baptist. background where I was taught to fear. everything. you know, even getting into. the music industry, I was taught. to just fear, you know, don't be like.

this artist or don't be like that or, you know, it was just been a lot of. unlearning. And and I get that. And and. I think I think though for me, >> I I have to know that this is my life. here on Earth. I wasn't put here to um. um to follow every rule. I was I was put. here to help rewrite them. >> Yeah. I really appreciate you talking. about that because it's just such a. prevalent topic that still like is we.

again we have so much movement that we. need to keep doing but I think having. conversations like this help. I'm. curious to know like how did you decide. obviously being a public figure to speak. openly about your sexuality? >> How did I decide? It's sort of like. decided for me because my art is a. direct reflection of who I am. >> You know, I I have Metropolis, which is. my first EP. I have a lot of independent. work I put out before that, and then I.

did the Arc Android, my first fulllength. album, Sweets. Then I did The Electric. Lady, Dirty Computer, and all the way. now to the Age of Pleasure. And and all. those projects that have come out. Um, I discovered that I mean I knew when I. was a child that I was attracted um to. not just boys but to women uh into. energies. I knew that and and because of. my sort of conservative Baptist um. upbringing, it wasn't welcomed. I I.

suppressed my sexuality. I suppressed my. sensuality. I suppressed so much of me. because I didn't feel safe. And so once. I got to a place where okay, I know for sure for sure uh that um you. know I I am I I am attracted to to to. you know these energies um. I I'm going to honor that. >> And with each project you could you can.

hear me and feel me getting more brave. you know, I created um the android Cindy. Mayweather who is representative of in. my work who's representative of the. other, you know, the queer person, the. the um black person, the non-binary. person, trans, all of all of us who are. pushed to the margins of society. And so. I used that as a form of like. a form of coping, a coping me mechanism.

until I was brave enough to actually say. it. >> And I think I was always dropping hints. and I was getting more brave and you. know less afraid. Um and then finally, um because also I was in a relationship. >> in in what some would say, you know, it. was a lot of things like, you know, understanding, you know, polyamory is. was something that I wanted to explore. >> Well, if you're already in a. relationship, you have to go have. conversations with that person's family.

Well, what does that mean for you guys? and D. So, I could not talk publicly. about certain things because they. impacted my real everyday life. >> You know what I'm saying? Like when I. got off the stage, I would also have to. go see. these communities that I was a part of. and like. >> if they heard about it through, you. know, any other thing outside of like me. saying it, then what does that mean? And. I just wasn't ready to have those sorts. of conversations. And so I guess to.

answer your question like you know I. just got brave over time and once I also. felt like I had community because the. albums and the art and music what it. also does is it signals like hey I'm out. here I'm out here. >> and then you meet people who come to. your shows and you meet other artists. and people other humans who like are. like ah I identify with that or I [ __ ]. with that and then we become friends and. you have a community. >> now that supports you that sees you that.

even if your family you were born into. doesn't support you or see you, you have. support. >> And so once I felt supported and I felt. safe enough, that's when I started to. become even more brave and I um I. started to be courageous in the way that. I started to live my life. And I think. right now what I am doing, I've done. this privately, is that I'm honoring all. of me. >> I'm not closing off, you know, my. sensuality anymore. I'm not closing off. my sexuality, my polyamory. If you.

listen to Only Have Eyes 42, you know, that's honoring that sort of union. Um, if you're listening to H Hot from the. Age of Pleasure or Champagne [ __ ] or. even Float, Yeah. >> You know, you know, I I I'm feeling much. lighter now. I float. I had to let some. things go um to get to this place. And. fear of not being accepted was one of. them. And once I got over that hump, everything started to change for me.

>> Community, when you were saying that, I'm like, I hope everyone listening, if. you're sitting listening to this or. watching this in your room and you. haven't been able to fully embrace your. sexuality, whether it's people around. you, you're afraid how they're going to. accept you. Like, there are so many. people out there that will love you and. like are so having the same feelings as. you. And so just don't limit yourself to. just the people that you've been. assigned as family. >> Absolutely. Absolutely. It gets better. >> It does. >> Yep. As you start walking, whenever. you're ready, don't feel pressured, too.

Yeah. >> Cuz I mean, there were moments where um. I felt the pressure to talk. Like. interviewers would they would just. speculate based on my appearance because. I was wearing a suit. They were like, "hm, >> you're a lesbian." Like that's what I. would get. >> You're a lesbian. And so inappropriate. you know, as I was trying to discover. who I was, and I didn't identify with. being a lesbian. I I I you know, and and. I had lesbian friends. I love my lesbian. family, but like people would say. certain things and try to force me to.

out. >> what I was. Well, if you're not a. lesbian, then what are you? >> Yeah. >> And so, I wasn't ready. So, don't feel. also feel pressured to talk about your. sexuality. It is a private it can be as. private or as public as you want it to. be. Um, for me it was seeping out into. my art so much that like I'm like, "Yeah, >> this is this is me. >> This is who I am.". >> And I wanted to also free a lot of. people who were in their rooms who could. be in their rooms right now listening.

Like. >> you have family, you have a church. even. outside of the the church that you went. to, if they disown you, like there is a. big church around the world with people. who will affirm you, people who are like. you, >> your identity is not new. >> Like it's been happening. We're here. We're showing up for each other. And I. love you. I love you. >> Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Poly. Market. I feel like this has been the.

summer of sports. First, everyone was. obviously freaking out about the. basketball finals and then we obviously. just had the cup and now people are. already starting to talk about tennis. But here's the thing, soccer. I am. locked in and I know exactly what's. going on in soccer. I played college. sports, you know what I mean? Tennis. though, I Yep. I'm going to admit I need. a little bit of help. So, I opened Poly. Market to see who everyone thinks is.

going to win and pretty quickly figured. out who I should start paying attention. to so I can also be sitting on the couch. next to Matt being like, "Yeah, oh my. god, what about that one?" And Matt's. like, "How did you know that?" I'm like, "Mean meanwhile fully poly market." Poly. market is the world's largest prediction. market where you can trade on what you. think is actually going to happen across. entertainment, culture, sports, politics, literally everything. So. instead of your predictions just living. in the group chat, there's finally a. place where they can actually mean. something. Like right now, you can trade. on the highest grossing movie of 2026 or.

whether the US is actually going to. confirm aliens exist. What a concept. Yes, you can literally trade on aliens. Okay, there's something for everyone. And there are new markets dropping every. single day. So, if you're the friend who. always is calling things early and. you're sharing hot takes with the girls. over drinks, you're just that girl, this. app was basically made for you. Okay. Download Poly Market, P O L Y M A R K E. T. Now available in the US and free to.

sign up. Use code daddy 20 d-ad 20 and. get $20 free upon a $10 deposit. Trading. not available in jurisdictions, restrictions and eligibility. requirements apply. Trading is risky. 100% loss can occur. When I was researching um I I read. somewhere you don't refer to opening up. to others about your sexuality as coming. out, but rather coming in. M.

>> can you explain that? >> I didn't actually come up with that. terminology of coming in. I just thought. it resonated with me more. >> Um, a guy by the name of John, I forgot. his last name, but I heard him say it. and he he's a a queer black man and I. heard him and I was like, that's exactly. what it is. >> It is bringing people bringing people. into our worlds. I'm letting you in on. who I am versus like you guys are the.

norm and I'm just like, "Hi, I'm out. here." Like, no, I'm letting you in to. my world, which is sacred, which should. be respected and appreciated. >> Most certainly not apologetic about it. >> I love that. You're so right. Because. it's like, I'm letting you in on who I. am. I don't You don't deserve me. I. don't have to come out to you. I don't. owe you anything. >> Exactly. >> Like when I feel comfortable, I'll let. you in. >> Like, come clean. Yeah. >> You're.

>> come out of the closet. >> Yeah. >> I'm sorry. >> I've been here. You just. >> must not have seen me. >> Um or not even you must not have seen. me. You must think that you and your or. you know what? Let's not even talk about. that. >> I was going to go down a whole. >> Trust me, I [laughter] could too. I. could too. How about this? Do you have a. mantra you come back to when it comes to. people who actively do not agree with. the way that you live?

>> Yeah, I do. I have so much. I wish I had. my phone with me. Um, but I think it comes down to power, you. know? I think like when you give your. power up to folks, like people's. opinions have more power. >> over you than how you feel about you. That's I think where things take that. turn, where the depression sets in, where the constant need for approval. comes in. And I think I'm a powerful ass. [ __ ]. >> you know, really. >> Yeah.

>> Just as. >> you're powerful. We're all powerful, >> right? We all hold gifts that we have. And I think that, you know, again, how I. think about myself has to. be more powerful than someone who is. trying to take me down through their. negativity, >> who is trying to oppress me through. their fear. >> Yeah. >> My power and my love for myself is. greater than that. >> Mic drop.

>> Yeah. >> Mic drop. What is something when it. comes to dating and love that you know. now that you wish you knew when you were. younger? >> O. sheesh man. Um. I would say. I wish I had discovered vibrators a long. time ago. Like honestly it's so fun to. experience that with your partner. [laughter]. >> It's phenomenal. >> It's so great. It's like what going to. the sex shop? Like I remember when I. first went,

>> see again when you come from those sort. of like conservative backgrounds, a sex. shop, >> I was full sunglasses on like do not. have me in here. Oh my god, what am I Oh. my god, please nobody take photos of me. Like I did not know, >> right? >> I did not know the world of vibrators. I. did not know the clitoral stimulation. that you and your the fun y'all can have. with one. You know, it doesn't. necessarily have to be penetration. >> It's lifechanging,

>> right? How about you? >> I remember I I didn't have one and my. friend bought me one for my birthday in. college and I I remember like the first. time I tried something was the back of. my electric toothbrush and I was like, >> I ain't going to front. The electric. toothbrushes, if if you're if you. forget, just go buy you a brand new one. >> It slaps. >> It's gotten me through. It's gotten me. through. [laughter]. >> It is a lifesaver. And so I I felt the. same way though of. >> I my friend got me my first one and then.

>> I was like, >> "Oh my god, like I never have to have. sex again. Like this is amazing." Like. it just allowed me to recognize that. like I hold the power of like my own. orgasm and like I I don't need someone. else to make me feel amazing. Like I can. do it myself. Because being taught like. we grow up and it's just like the men. will do this for you and like you and. I'm like why am I going to wait for a. [ __ ] to give me an orgasm? Like. this is amazing. exact. >> Don't wait for a man or anyone to give. you. You can do it yourself. So, I.

remember I felt the same way in New. York. I remember the first sex shop I. went to with my friend. I was not. famous, but like I was mortified just. being like, I just can't make eye. contact. And I think that just comes. from like shame of like we're not. normalizing like like exploring your. sexuality and enjoying especially as. women like enjoying sex, loving sex, being connected with your body. And I. think it's so important that we start to. have those conversations at younger. ages. Obviously in a safe way, but like. especially for young girls, you just. start to like feel shame and like you're.

doing something wrong. And that's why so. many women I truly believe like we have. such a hard time in the beginning like. figuring out what works for us and. knowing how to like get off because we. were like it was basically like don't. touch yourself. You're a [ __ ] You're a. [ __ ] And it's like. >> what. >> or you're a deviant or like touching. yourself gross, >> you know? Like if it was not you go get. a boyfriend and y'all wait but don't. have sex actually until you're married. >> So go marry to have sex. Like I have.

cousins who actually married. >> women just to have sex. >> because they were just like God won't. >> It's a lie. It's a lie. And I'm I I I. will always just like, you know, say. like my heart goes out to. >> to those of us who have cli clitorises. and and and and. just not just those of us who are with. with clitoris, even, you know, for for. those of us who have penises or whatever.

it is, the pleasure that we can give. ourselves like how that was stripped. away from us. Um, I just hope that we can reconnect again. with our bodies and reclaim our bodies. That's the space that I'm in. Like, I am. reclaiming my sensuality, my my. sexuality, my pleasure, >> like unapologetically. Like, I'm not. apologizing for talking about it, for. >> taking time to myself.

>> to make up for lost times. I mean, I. think I could have avoided a lot of just. even sexual interactions with people who. >> I didn't really like, but I just was. like, well, >> here we go. >> This is the only way that I can feel. less shame about. >> sex is if I do it with this person. But. like that leads to so much confusion. sometimes if you don't really really. really like this person and they don't. really really like you. And it's a whole. thing. And so I think you actually avoid. >> um.

you have less stress when you take. matters into your own hands. Literally. >> Absolutely. Okay. Everyone listening. today, we are entering our era of the. art of pleasure. Okay. We're taking it. into our own hands. >> Yes, we are. >> Um I know we've been kind of like. essentially. >> talking about it this whole episode. because we're talking about pleasure and. finding our own voices to find that. pleasure. But what has been the most. rewarding part of making this soundtrack. for you? >> Yeah, I mean just like you know we're.

were talking about it's a soundtrack to. a lifestyle and I think so many people. or you know that I'm that I'm hearing. that's why I can't wait to go on tour. I'm on tour. Our first show is in. Seattle the end of August. We're on. tour. So get your tickets. We have some. more a little bit more available. Um but. they're selling out right now and I'll. be on tour in North America through. October 21st. the Age of Pleasure tour. And so to see how people are like. >> making this their album, owning it, and.

like with their friends, I see them just. certain songs they're like, "Oh my god, you're speaking to my heart." Like I I. needed to hear float. I needed to give. myself permission to to let things go. and and to go into my, you know, a stage. of like what hot is talking about like I. look good, I look sexy, I look handsome, like non-binary folks are feeling seen, trans folks are being se seen like the.

community in which I intended for it to. be. And even outside of that, I think. that you don't necessarily have to be a. part of my community to to to. >> to vibe with it. I think that what it. just represents is like even in the. midst of chaos, you got to find your. pleasure. You have to make time for. yourself. >> And I actually brought you something. >> What? >> So here's. >> Oh my god. >> Official Age of Pleasure. I cut mine. >> Well, I was going to say it's so cute.

No, it's so cute. You know I'm going to. do this. Like it's so cute. >> I wanted to bring you. >> Janelle. This is so sweet. a shirt. And. if you need another size, >> no, this is so good. >> I'll give you another one. And you. >> No, I'm Can I cut it like you? >> Cut it like me. >> I'm just copying you. But I've been. staring at it and like it's such a. >> It's yours. >> Thank you. I adore you. >> It's so dope. >> I wanted to bring you a hand.

>> This is so good. >> Hand a handwritten um autographed. That's what I meant to say. I. autographed you a copy of my book that I. released in 2021 called The Memory. Librarian. >> Thank you from Dirty Computer. And um. yes, >> this is bringing the gifts, right? And. girl, I know you just got back from. vacation. Like you're giving us all. you're getting us in our fields. We're. all ready to go have sex with ourselves. We got a book. We got a shirt.

>> Um okay. to anyone that is like, "You. got to tell us what is, if you have to. pick, >> what is your favorite song on the. soundtrack?". >> Shoot. Wow. >> Everyone's gonna go listen to this one. So, I'm like, >> it's so Okay, it varies because all of. them, man, I I I mean, I hate to say it, but it's it's um it's not a long album. I usually put out like, excuse me, like. double albums. And with this one, I.

wanted you to want to replay it over and. over and over again. I didn't want to, excuse me, I didn't want it to be too. long because this one was just on um. President Barack Obama's um song of. summer, only have eyes 42 42. U so. listen to that one. I mean, but I love. every last song on this project. I'm. having a hard time like figuring out. what songs we're going to play on tour. I think I might have to just play all of. them. I don't know. But because I love I.

I also thought about them from a live. perspective and just. >> yeah, >> how fun it's going to be to perform. Champagne [ __ ] and. >> it's going to be insane. >> And I don't know what songs were you. vibing to. What are some of your. favorites? >> Champagne [ __ ] Um is it called. Phenomenal? >> I really like that one. Like. >> featuring Doi. >> Yeah, it's a vibe where like. >> I don't know. I really like that one. Like, but again, I it's it feels like. it's a story that's being told and. you're just like it's almost like an. anthem vibe where you're just like.

vibing the whole time. So, I I agree. I. guess I couldn't like pick one too cuz. it you almost have to like listen to it. all together like start to finish to. like feel it. >> cuz a Dry Red is good. The last song I. love. >> Um I when I was writing this album, I. wrote it with friends. I got to give a. shout out to Nate Rocket Wonder, to. Bueno, to Nana Quabana, and also the. features. >> Like some of my favorite things is just. to look down and be like, "Okay, Grace. Jones is literally on this album." You.

know, Sister Nancy, who is like bomb. bomb, you know, we can't go anywhere at. a at a party without hearing her. Jamaican influence. Patra, her Jamaican. influence. Um when I think about um Nia. Long who is an incredible actress coming. and being a part of it, Amaray Dochi. Um. who else? Uh Faila Couty Sun, Shahun. Couti, uh lots of horns on this project.

Um CK is on this project. Uh I don't. know. It's just so like such a beautiful. love letter to the diaspora and to um to. music that again has gotten us through, you know, um a lot of the influences. come from a lot of my friends who were. in, you know, who are from Nigeria at. our parties, Ghana, uh South Africa, LA, New York, Atlanta, um you know, all of.

us coming together and and feeling safe. safe enough to explore, safe enough to. be. >> Janelle, I can't thank you enough for. coming on Call Her Daddy. This was truly. such a pleasure. I'm so happy I got to. sit in the same room with you and feel. your energy. Thank you. Thank you. Thank. you. >> You are fantastic, Alex. Thank you so. much for having me and all the beautiful. work you do. Like, I don't really love. doing lots of interviews, but you have a. very great way of of connecting human to.

human with folks. And I'm sure people. tell you that a lot, but I'll just say. like I feel your aura and your energy. through the screen. And um just. congratulations on everything. You're. fantastic. You're. >> lovely. Thank you. Woo. [music]. [music].