I Called Off My Engagement ft. Laren (Full Episode)

[Music]. What is up, Daddy Gang? It is your. founding father, Alex Cooper, with Call. Her Daddy. Daddy gang, welcome back to another. episode of Call Her Daddy. Lauren and I. are sitting. We kind of feel like we. look like the parents from Willy Wonka. We are sitting on the couch, but we. really wanted to like be comfortable and. not have our feet fall asleep on the.

couch. And so we're in a little bit of a. relaxed situation, but we're happy. I. could like doze off right here. Like I. could take like a nap in this position. I'm really cozy. Same. Okay. Wait. Oh, so just for context, Lauren and I are on. kind of like a girls weekend in Los. Angeles. Matt is taking his brother to. go golf because um my brother-in-law and. my sister-in-law. No. Yeah. Your. brother-in-law and sister-in-law. Sister-in-law. Yeah. But does that make.

it sound like they're brother and. sister? No. They're both He's your. brother-in-law. She's your. sister-in-law. Okay. It is. Yeah. Yeah. My. brother-in-law and sister-in-law are. having a baby. And so Matt is taking his. brother to go golf and like on a little. golf trip before they like have a kid, whatever. And so Lauren's in town and we. were like, "Oh my god, why don't we. stay, relax, go have like a nice pool. spa weekend, girls weekend, and we're. going to drink a little bit. We're going. to chill and it's going to be a good.

time. We're going to order these green. margaritas that when it's the two of us, we like to order them for delivery and. get a little weird together." Well, they're just like those kind of sneaky. margaritas that like you get really. [ __ ] up from them. And the last time, well, the first time first time we. didn't know how strong they were. When I. moved to Los Angeles with Lauren, we. were staying at Matt's house and he was. away on a business trip and Lauren and. I, he was like, "You guys should order. from this place." And we got these. margaritas and they're so [ __ ] good.

They're these like cucumber green. margaritas. So Lauren and I start. downing them and we're in the hot tub. with floats, which was weird in itself. And we're in the hot tub and we're with. our floaties and slowly we're like. blasting music and we found out how to. do the strobe lights in the pool and we. were DJing and then we like passed out. in the living room and like didn't turn. the music off, didn't turn the pool. strobe lights off. Matt's neighbor. called him and gave him a noise. complaint. And so Matt looks at his.

security cameras and it looks like we. actually threw a rager at his house and. he's like calling you like you guys. aren't like really like official. official yet. He's like calling you and. he's like like I just have to say like. this is so disrespectful. Like I let you. guys like use my house and my pool like. throw a party and we were like. well you see. actually there was no party. Well it was. a party but just two people. It was just.

Lauren and I and he's like, "I'm having. a hard time believing that, Alex. Like, look at my backyard. It looks like there. was like a [ __ ] brothel back there.". And I was like, and like the neighbor. called and gave me a noise complaint. Like, I've never had that happen since. I've lived here. And I was. like, "It's just the two of us." And so. Lauren and I now always have a joke with. Matt where we're like, "We're hitting. the green marks again." And he's like, "Jesus [ __ ] Christ, the two of you. together." But to be fair, I feel like. whenever it's just the two of us. together and we're not like interacting. with other people, we have a pretty like. straight and narrow path that we always.

go on. What's our straight and narrow. path? We love either alcohol or. marijuana to like have a little fun. together. Not in that way. Like that. sounds weird, but you know what I mean. Like we like our little like thing, but. then we're like usually passing out. pretty early. And like we're not we're. not we we're not night people. We thrive. in the daytime and we love like a 1000. p.m. bedtime. And I feel like the older. I'm getting, I'm like, I can have these. like fun rager moments, which I feel.

like I've been having lately, but it has. to be spread out. And a lot of times. like I'm going to go to bed at least by. midnight. I'm not the type of person. just to like stay up for the hell of it. Like if if there's something worthwhile. staying up for, like Miami, we had late. nights and it was so fun. Like after we. would be at the party or we would go to. the strip club. We need to talk about. the strip club. I just thought about. that as I'm staring at your face. We. would go out, but then we would always. come back to me and Matt's room and we. would all sit there and like have like a. night cap and talk and she moves and do.

the thing. That was enjoyable to me. But. if it's me and Matt or it's just me and. you and there's no part I don't need to. ruin my tomorrow. Like we're going to. get we're going to hit the hay like we. can still drink a bottle of wine and go. to bed and wake up the next day. Yep. Um. speaking of this Miami strip club. Yes. Can we tell the daddy gang? Yes. Yes. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Uber. Eats. Okay, Daddy Gang, we all know Uber. Eats has the best selection of local. restaurants, but did you know they also.

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details. So, we throw our unwell Miami. weekend and it was truly so fun. and. Lauren comes and we end up after a night. at the Unwell Club. We do a late night. and we go to 11 in Miami which is a. club/strip club. So we get to the club. and we are we get a table. We are all. standing there and I remember I'm like.

talking to Matt and he's whispering my. ear and then all of a sudden I look and. Lauren is standing with this tall man. and at our table and I know who this man. is because he's a reality star and he's. been to a couple of our events before. But I know my best friend is barely has. social media and doesn't watch reality. TV and she has no idea who this person. is. No idea. You just think he's like a. hot guy. Yeah. And then the next morning. I asked Lauren like wait what h No, we. get in the van to leave because we end.

up leaving cuz we were like it was too. crowded and like none of the strippers. could even come to our table which was. like I was ready for like a lap dance. some Yes. I want I I brought [ __ ] a. bunch of cash. I was like ready to. [ __ ] pay the strippers and then they. never ended up being being able to get. to our table. So we were like uh this. isn't even as much as fun. We leave. We. get into the van and tell the daddy gang. what happened with your night. So, I had. before we ended up at 11, I had maybe. shared five words with this guy, okay?

Like quite literally five words. And. when we're standing at the table, it's. like really crowded. So, like we're just. like touching because it's so crowded. And at this point, we've maybe hit a. higher word count of like we've shared a. few sentences. Okay. Like not much has. been happening. Yeah. And maybe sentence. number five is he looks at me and holds. out all of his money and goes, "Do you.

want to go to the back room right now. and get a private lap dance?" It's the. two of us. And like it's like 2:30 in. the morning and like I'm like kind of. drunk, but I'm not like hammered. And so. you don't even have I think at that. point cuz we had left the club and hung. out for a minute before we went to 11. kind of a mission to get into 11. So. like I kind of like sobered up a little. bit in the process of like getting into. 11. Yeah. So like we none of us had a. buzz. No, we were sober at 11, which was. fine. Fine. But to get a sober lap dance.

with a man that you've barely ever met. I've been around the block. Yes. A few. times. No. Well, I've been to this is. like my third time at like 11. So like I. know what goes down in the private rooms. in the back. Yes. It would not just be. us getting a lap dance. it would be us. having a threesome with a stripper. And. I was like, you know, at this current. intoxication level, I don't really have. it in me to go from just like not having.

a vibe to having a threesome with a. stripper. But you were just like, I'm. literally like fresh sober basically. I'm like sober and like there's not like. sexual tension here. Yeah. Like we've. had like we're like we're cracking the. small talk. Yeah. We're trying to like. gauge like like what's your name? What's. your occupation? Who are you? Exactly. I. remember in real time when this was. happening. I turn and I clearly hit you.

right in that middle of that. conversation cuz all I remember hearing. you say is, "Uh, let me have one more. drink and think about it." That was. literally your response. And I'm looking. at you and I'm looking up at him being. like, "What did he just ask her for. Lauren and be like, "Let me have one. more drink and think about it cuz you're. a down ass bitch." So I was like, "What. is Lauren postponing in order to like. liquor herself up?" And then I find out. that he basically asked you to go into. the private room. And then we left and. he stayed. But for now, um, Lauren's. still on the hunt. I'm just out there.

living my life. But I feel like you're. in a really good headsp space of. like you. are really really in a good way single. now cuz like how long has it been since. your breakup? Like 5 months now. Okay. Wow. Wow. Something I was saying that I. was really proud of myself. I was. telling you this this morning. I went no. contact after my breakup, which is like. anyone I meet who's going through a. breakup and they're like, "What's your. best piece of advice?" Truly, like go no.

contact. Like you have to like I have no. better advice than go no contact and. like you have to stick by it. I have not. talked to my ex once in any capacity. since October since we broke up. And it. was like I remember I had said to you I. was nervous for you because you guys. obviously lived together. So once the. breakup happened you had to like figure. out like all the logistics logistics to. sort out. But then once that happened. and the last day that you guys saw each. other of like you got to take things.

from the apartment and all that said. like a final like very nice like. goodbye. I was so proud of you because I. was so scared of that like you guys also. shared each other's locations and stuff. and I was like is she going to is she. going to and then I remember I talked to. you like a week after and you were like. unshared location haven't talked it's. over and the fact that it's gone no. contact for 5 months. I feel like it's. really allowed you to focus on yourself. and not feel like you're lightly getting.

pulled back into it. Even if you had any. questions that you've been kind of like. going through in reflecting on the. relationship, I feel like you've been. just taking full accountability of like. I don't need to ask him. I'm going to do. the work in therapy about like why did I. put up with this or why did I do this or. why did I act this way? like whatever it. is, you're finding the answers within. yourself. And I think a lot of times, daddy gang, we can use questions we have. and think, well, it's just closure. I.

just want to have one more conversation. cuz I want to kind of like figure out. why we both did this. And it's like. that's just prolonging you being able to. move on. I agree. Right. So, talk to me. now though about like five months out of. a breakup, what have you realized about. yourself? because I don't think the daddy gang. knows how close how like serious it was. our my relationship because I think in a. beautiful way I found my boundary of.

like privacy that I feel like I needed. to instill in with this show and and. with the internet and I'm so happy I did. that and I feel like you with Call Her. Daddy in a completely understandable way. like he was a private person and you and. I aren't that private people like we. don't really care. So, but the people. we've are with and you were with wanted. privacy and so like you were respecting. that. So, you didn't really talk about. your relationship a lot. So, I think a. lot of people online I even saw still to.

this day are like wait Lauren broke up. with the boyfriend and like so she's. single and like what's happening? Like. do you mind explaining how. close you were to like this being the. person you were about to spend the rest. of your life with? Yeah, it was really. serious. Um, we dated for almost 3. years. For the last 6 months of our. relationship, we were living together. and it got to the point where he had a. full plan to propose.

He talked to my mom and her fiance like. and had like a dinner with them and told. him he was going to propose. He talked. to me and Matt. He talked to Kristen. Kristen's our other best friend from. childhood. at our me and Matt's wedding, he went to. Kristen and was like, "Oh my gosh, I. obviously like can't I don't want to. bring it up to Alex and Matt right now. because they're literally getting. married, but I'm want to propose to. Lauren um during the like holiday New. Year time and can you just like make. sure you put us all on chat cuz I want. to make sure that they can be there cuz.

they want he wanted us to like surprise. you like how you guys did for me." Him. and I came to your engagement. So, it. was like very concrete. Oh, like there. was a date. you knew a date when he was. gonna like you knew the date he was. going to propose and you guys had talked. about the ring, right? We were going to. like do something with like a family. like diamond and um you knew like where. it was going to be like it it was it was. planned. Yes, that was happening. And I. think as your friend I remember when I. heard that I was so torn. Torn. Yeah,

that's a good word. cuz I was like, "Fuck, that could one day make sense.". But from the stuff that I had heard from. you, I wasn't sure you guys were like. ready for that, but I'm not in your. relationship obviously. So, I was like, I need to just like catch up with. Lauren. And obviously, I didn't want to. tell you uh he's going to propose to. you. Can Can I say Yes. So, like you. ended up like we had we had one of those.

dinners where. You're like, you were just like, I can. tell that like you're holding a lot in. right now. Like, can you like just let. it all out? Zero judgement. Zero. judgment. You can tell me everything and. if you want to stay, you can still stay, but like I can feel you're not telling. me everything and you're just holding a. lot in. Like, let it out. So, we had one. of those three-hour dinners where I was. just like, we're vomiting everything. Everything. And then after I told you.

that you're like I am really feeling. conflicted right now because like if it. does work out like I obviously don't. want to like ruin your engagement but. like I don't know if you know how close. it is to actually happening and I want. you to be able to have the tools to feel. in control of your life and not have it. sneak up on you and you have and you. feel like you're kind of backed into a. corner and saying yes because you're. like ah [ __ ] like how like what we're.

here. Okay, let's go through it. So, like you you ended up telling me he's. going to propose on this day to kind of. be like you kind of do have a window of. like you got to figure some things out. cuz I was like Lauren that was like one. of the harder things I think I've I was. going back and forth with and I think. again in the best way. I feel like our. relationship is so beautiful because I. feel like we both talk about we have so. many friends that you communicate with.

friends differently, but you and I have. always had this thing where it's. like we're so honest with each other. And I think we both have found our way. to be even when it's hard what we're. going to talk about, we are so like. graceful in the way that we approach. things with each other and respectful. We very very much have I feel like a. policy of like it is your life and I. don't know your life and like it's your. life but it's also as your best friend I. have to share this about the things I'm.

seeing and then I'm once that's out I'm. here to game plan everything that you. need like I'll support you. Yes, whatever. And I think that was like a. thing that I would give daddy gang is. like I I forgot that. I remember. multiple times in that conversation cuz. I had literally talked about it with my. therapist and she had said like you have. to continue to reassure Lauren. I'm so. happy you told me. Okay, that makes me. feel good. No, but and and I and you. were great in the moment and I think I. ag I stand by it too. But again, Daddy. Gang, if you are in this position where. you're seeing your friend not in the.

best relationship and you're like, "How. do I do it?" You have to come from the. place of like you have to remind them. that you're not judging them, that you. will be there no matter what, and you're. there to listen and but you also have. like some information that you want to. give them, but you're not putting it on. them to like now deal with alone. And I. feel like when I told you it was going. to happen over New Year's, you were. like, "Whoa, okay." And we really, for. context, like this past New Year, yes, this past New Year's, Lauren was going. to get engaged. And I think you were so.

um like, "Wo, this is a another big red. flag of like how does he think that can. even happen when all of these problems. are happening?" And I think that was. kind of when it all started to unravel a. little bit more for you because you. really were just seeing like, huh, it. was kind of like a like a like a like. a date that was like being put on like, oh, I have to like figure this out. Like. it put like this like rush and urgency. to like figure my [ __ ] out. Like before. I was like, I'll keep working on it.

Keep figuring out. I was like, oh [ __ ]. Like I have to like figure this out now. And so once you guys ended the. relationship, what do you feel like. you in now being single, like what do. you feel like you've now realized like. you really want and need in a partner. moving forward? In our hectic, fast-paced lives, we could use some. slowing down. Hogand is made to be.

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forward? I want to feel. like they got me and that like I can. have like a bad day or go through. something difficult and. like they'll pick me up and like kind of. like help me get through it and like. carry me through it. But like when I was. talking to my therapist about it, she. was like, "Oh, like do you feel like. that's something lacking in your life. right now? like do you feel like.

unsupported and unable to like get. yourself through hard moments? And I was. like literally the opposite. Like I. feel like I have very deep fulfilling. friendships I can lean on if I need to. I end my days and I feel strong and. confident and like secure in what I need. to work through and get through and like. that I can handle it and I'm not like. overwhelmed and like I'm not lonely. which I.

think I'm really happy that something. that I want isn't like a need I'm trying. to fill. Like it's not like a deficit in. my life that like I'm trying to like. find a person to fill. It's just. like I just like want like partnership. You said that to me the other day when. we were in the car and I thought it was. so profound and I want to keep talking. about this a little bit for the daddy. because you were like every time my. therapist was challenging me like, "Oh, are you wanting that because of X?".

Like, I feel like you've gotten so good. being alone. And I feel like you've. always been a relationship girl. So, I'm. so proud of you right now. Like I've. never really really really seen you just. like single Lauren like for this long in. a strong way where you're like oh I'm a. little like ooh she'll I wonder what. she's going to do. You're like you've. never been I feel like happier and you. don't have a partner. I was joking. I.

was like I've never been happier and. I've never been hotter. No l No, it's so. true. You've never been happier. You've. never been hotter. You just turned 30. you're thriving. And I feel like. something that it's obvious is like for. the Daddy Gang, like we have both been. at points in our life where we're both. single and we aren't that good at being. alone. And so we're like chasing after. something. Um, like te tell me if I'm if.

you're okay with me saying this, but I. think something that you had talked to. me about that was like I think very. relatable was like this was the first. relationship that you were like I. actually felt like I was like this. person like genuinely loved me and like. I was genuinely in love. So it's hard to. walk away from that. I was like I've I. had a relationship before but it was. like coming it was like a college. relationship that became post college. and like that was the first time I was. like I was deeply in love like I was in. love with this person. Yes. And I.

remember it was so sad because I. remember you saying to me Lauren you. were like I just. like I feel like I've just like lost so. many people in my life that like I love. So like I don't want to what do you I. would I my innate feeling is to hold on. to this person because how am I going to. just like oh I was yeah I was so like. this is it like I I've never I had never. been in love before and I had never felt. that and I was like oh like this is it. like this is the feeling that like you.

fight for and like you go to like the. end of like the earth for and like I. know that's not the case. Well, now you. know once you really have that like. first like adult relationship of love, I'm not talking about like we've all. been in love hopefully before, but when. you were talking about like love love of. like, oh, I could see a future with this. person, then you really start to realize. which I think I'm so happy. I feel like. we were able to have a lot of. conversations with like me, you, and. Matt cuz I've learned so much being in. my first year of marriage that I felt.

like you started to kind of like ask. Matt and I questions throughout this. past. has a lot of good experiences and. advice. He does. And I feel like his. advice a lot was like you there's so. much more to a marriage than love. Like. if anything that's like the easiest part. of it. Yes. I like I was talking about. that in therapy too of like I think I. like thought that like love was so hard. to like come by and it was so rare. But. like what is more rare is be having that.

love and then like the compatibility. aspect of like yes just like what you. want and need out of life is also going. to match up cuz like yes that's the hard. part morals values compatibility. um what you want as a family what like. literally career-wise like how career. money socioeconomic uh where you're. going to live how you interact with your. in-laws um what you want to how you want. to raise your kids, like where you want. them to go to school. All of that is.

like [ __ ] that I. think people don't talk about it maybe. enough where it's like you have to have. these [ __ ] conversations, I genuinely. believe before you get married and. before you get engaged. And I think a. lot of times it's like people are. feeling in love and then they're excited. and they're moving in and then you think. once you get married then like you. become you like start to do all this. It's like, "No, no, no. Daddy gang, you. need to figure it out before because I. think again you watched it with.

yourself." Is like you were in love that. was down, but then I think you've in you. have a lot of friends around you who are. going through like whether they just got. married or their first year of marriage. or their second year of marriage. And so. you're watching all of us kind of like. do this dance. my like clo all of my. like clo I have like like say like my. like five closest girlfriends like now. they are all married and engaged. Yep. And do you to anyone that is the single.

friend in a dynamic like that like can. you talk about how you don't feel. pressured by people just by seeing your. friends at one stage of their life? Like. how are you maintaining just like. confidence to not feel like oh well I'm. the only one so I have to hurry up and. do it like how are you feeling like. you're managing that cuz I you could I. don't know if I'm saying that right like. I feel like you're doing such a good job. of just being like and I'm so happy for. all of you and I'm happy for myself and. I'm good on my like what I'm doing.

um the easy answer and then like I'll. give like the deeper answer like I do. like I have I have a few like newer. friendships that like I'm investing more. time into because they are single and I. do think it's important to like it's. just helpful to like have people who. were like oh like everyone's going on a. date night tonight like let's do this or. like everyone's kind of tired but like I. like I don't want to sit home alone like. all weekend like let's at least like go. out and like get a drink and like be.

social for like a minute I think it is. like really helpful to like have single. friends. Have single friends when you're. single. And then something else we were. talking about recently kind of related. to like how am I not feeling pressure. and comparison and like left behind when. all of my friends are very much in like. a different life stage than me. Like. being single like is the minority like. of my close friends right now. Um. because like I truly truly feel like. very zen at this current moment and not. pressured and not rushed. But when I. first got out of my relationship, like.

the first This is kind of like a new. This Zenness is kind of like really. within like the past like month and a. halfish. That's nice to hear cuz I'm. sure girls are like going out of a. breakup being like, "Bitch, I'm on my. fourth month and I'm still struggling.". Yeah. It's like a very new like this. level of like calmness. Calmness is like. kind of new. When I first got out of the. relationship, I knew for a fact like I. absolutely need to be single. I need to. like reflect on stuff. I need to not.

rush into anything. Like I need to have. me time. Like I knew that, but I didn't. feel that, right? I was like I would be. like, I need to be single, but like in. the back of my mind I'd be like, h [ __ ]. like time's the clock's kind of ticking. Like am I dragging my feet? I was doing. like the numbers game where I was like, "Oh, so I'm 30 now. If I like take a. year to be single, I'll start dating. someone maybe at 31. I don't want to. rush into an engagement." So like maybe.

I'll get engaged at 33, married at 34. Am I going to immediately have a kid. then a year into marriage at 35? And. then like I was like, "Oh my god, like. I'm having a kid at 35." And like so I. started playing that game and like that. was like kind of like suffocating and. like consuming. I was so. close to like locking in like this. timeline that like I was seeing like we. were just saying. I was like about to. get engaged and then I was like, "Okay, I'm going to get engaged at 30. I'm. going to like and I had that kind of. like like it was all laid out in Yeah.

It was kind of like clicking into like. step and it was like although there were. things that weren't right and that I. wasn't sure about and that were causing. me stress kind of seeing my life kind of. start to like unfold and like where it. was going in front of me was comforting. and like the sense of security and. safety. So like it took a moment to like. shed that, right? Cuz I feel like that's. something we should talk about too of. like I've done it before a previous. relationship prior to Matt. Like daddy.

gang, we've all been there or you're. currently in it where you are you see. the path. You see the future and it is. so comforting knowing you you can see. like what your timeline is. I like I I I. at the point where I was like, "Oh, I. can look 5 years ahead and I can see. where my life is going." And sometimes. having the. guy, it makes you feel like even though. I have these.

reservations, I'm okay with looking past. it cuz I can't give all this up. I can't. give this timeline up. Like I'm right. here. I'm like right I'm so close. I was. like, "Oh, I'm on like the last lap. Like I'm so close to the finish line.". Like you don't throw in the towel like. right when before you're about to cross. the finish line. And I remember I said. to Lauren when she was like, "I feel. like I was like right about to hit the. finish line." I was like, "Babe, you. have not you are literally putting on. your [ __ ] outfit and your gear. You're not even in the race yet." Like, I know that sounds cheesy, but it's so. true. It's like, if you feel like you're.

just about to get there, you're about to. get the engagement. You're about to It's. like, "No, no, no. You haven't even. started the [ __ ] marathon yet. You. are literally just putting on the. clothes to see if they [ __ ] fit. Does. the uniform look good? Does it fit? How. does it feel?" Okay. Then when you start. marriage, that's when the [ __ ] race. begins. And I feel like or again, even. if it's not marriage for certain people, whether it's you want to have a kid or. whether you decide to be life partners, but for you, I feel like that's such a. relatable feeling to women listening of. you don't want to disrupt what you feel.

like you've spent so much time building. and you're willing to potentially look. past these problems because. holistically, it's really starting to. shape out. Mh. And the problem is is. what I've always said on this show, you. guys, that my mom had always told me. from a young age was like anything that. bothers you in your relationship will. get 10 times worse when you're married. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by.

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you in your relationship will get 10. times worse when you're. married. And that is disorienting and. hard to hear because I think you and I. had a lot of conversations of like your. ex is a good guy. Like absolutely. It's. just compatibilitywise. We started to. talk about things where it was like it. wasn't the right person for me. Yeah. And we would be like, "No, no, Lauren, like you're saying this and this is how. it's making you feel." But like, which I. think was like another hard layer like.

nothing was like glaring like there was. no moment of like, "Oh [ __ ] like that. was so bad. You have to end it." It was. just like these micro things that you. kept, you know what it was a lot of too, which is people listening, you may have. this where you're just like, am I okay. with this? Yeah. Am I okay with. compromising? And when is it not. compromising and it's like actually kind. of giving up something that's important. to me or something I did think I want in. life. But like is that superficial to.

want that? I think when you really got. to the point of knowing is when you were. laying it out and speaking to your. friends a bunch and it was like you were. literally starting to compromise on. every single thing in your life and. everything. And it wasn't even. compromise. It was just like this isn't. the life I saw for myself. Yeah. you. would say it, but it was like a story. you were telling yourself. And then when. you and this is where daddy gang like. finding friends to make sure that who. won't judge you but can talk with it.

because I've been in the scenario too. where I would go to Lauren when I was. going through a breakup being like I'm. so devastated but you kept me on track. to be like but that that's not what you. want. I feel like when you went through. this, we did the same thing where it was. like, this is hard that you're giving. all of this up, but how about you. reframe it and think, can you imagine if. you went through with it just cuz it. felt like you were so close to the. finish line, then you marry this guy and. you have kids and every problem that you. I was going to like look up and be like, how is this my life, right? Like, I.

didn't want any of this. Yeah. I don't. agree with the way that we're doing this. and this and this and this, but I wanted. to just get the ring and get the. marriage. And I think that's a really. really understandably relatable thing. that. women can feel. Like I remember dating a. guy that was so like financially stable. at a time where I really wasn't and it. became and I think also like growing up. and not being like having my parents. have like all this money even though. being around friends that had it. I.

definitely like wanted that like and so. it was attractive to me to have like. financial security. And so I was. completely avoiding a lot of things that. upset me or made me feel not good about. myself because of this main thing that I. thought it's okay. I can look past these. things because I feel safe with him. But. it's like but why do you feel safe with. him? You don't feel like he's actually. being like faithful to you. It's because. of the financial stability. And while. that is a huge thing when you think.

about certain aspects, that doesn't mean. [ __ ] [ __ ] if you don't have an actual. good relationship. Money is [ __ ]. great, but it's not [ __ ] great if. you're getting cheated on or you're. getting [ __ ] emotionally abused or. whatever it be. So, I think a huge. lesson for the Daddy Gang that we can. take from what you're talking about is. like you felt in your. gut compatibility wise you were off in. moments, but you kept going forward.

because you. really also didn't want to give up the. good parts. Yeah. that that there was. love there, that it was all kind of. falling into place and like making. sense. And like I remember saying like. in one of my like therapies I was having. before like ending the relationship, I. was like, I feel like I'm about to blow.

up my life. And she was like, you are, but like that's one portion of your. life. Like you still have all of your. friendships. You still have your career. You're still gonna be you. That's what's. I think so crazy. I remember that. because we talked about that after that. session you had. It was like, yeah, I. guess you could say you're blowing up. your life. Not really. You're just. ending something that was going to bring. you in one direction, but it's a portion. and everything else is going to stay the. same. I remember saying that. Do you. remember I was like, you're going to go. to work on Monday, then you're going to.

go to drinks with your friends that. night. Like everything is kind of the. same, but then a huge chunk will be. missing. And so it's really really. terrifying as women because we don't. have the. flexibility like men do to just keep it. [ __ ] moving. Oh, that didn't that one. didn't work out. I can go over here. Like they just they have a different. level of privilege. And while that is true, I really truly.

believe that like staying in something. just to appease one other aspect of your. life that you're looking for is really. going to come and bite you in the ass. Um, so I also think being easier on. yourselves if things aren't working, Daddy Gang. Recognizing that sometimes. neither of you are bad people. It's just. it literally is like your traumas and. your strong suits and your issues and. your things that you bring to the table. that are good and bad. Sometimes they.

just don't [ __ ] work with someone. And and instead of trying so hard to. force it, while yes, a relationship is. work, at some point you have to look at. yourself. And I genuinely believe for. you, Lauren, like I'm so happy that you. lived with him. I'm so happy that you. went all the way to the point of seeing. yourself in a dress with a ring, all of. it. Because now we talk about this a lot. of like I can't wait to see the person. that you meet next because you are a. better person because of that past.

relationship. Thank God you met him. And. like there's things that my therapist. used to say every person you date gets. you one step closer to the person you're. supposed to marry. And like there's. things that I would have no idea that I. did not like and that I definitely need. and that like trigger me and I feel like. I just like know myself a lot more now. And so technically though, think about. this Daddy Gang if we're doing the. [ __ ] math. Although maybe you would.

be engaged right now and planning a. wedding. We have talked about like now knowing. how much there was breaking down, there's a chance either one you would. have been in a really pretty. unfulfilling unhappy marriage which. could have ended in divorce. Now you're. still so much closer though to just pure. happiness of finding your person. And I. think that should. hold a lot of hope in a lot of people's.

minds. If you're about to end something. or this episode is helping you think. about re-evaluating, do you want to take. that next. step? While yes, the next step seems. super straightforward and easy. If. you're not 100% in knowing that's the. right next step, you're then going to. have to take a lot of back steps once. you go forward because it's going to be. like, well, [ __ ] this isn't working. Don't force something that's not there. Everyone's timelines, while yes, it can. be straightforward, a lot of times with. timelines, they're just going to like.

[ __ ] you into making like more rushed. decisions where it's like, if you didn't. have this in your head and if we didn't. have a time clock, like would you make. that decision? I think that has been. like the timeline and the time clock and. the biological clock and children. Yeah. Has been and like really sitting and. thinking like about that aspect has been. one of the things the most freeing. aspects for me of like I truly feel like. so I've never felt more zen or peaceful.

in my entire life and calm and like not. rushed and like awake and confident and. like sure. And I think it's because I've. been having really honest conversations. with myself about what was really. fueling that like urgency and that rush. and that countdown. And it's children. and motherhood. And I if you would have asked me 6. months ago, a year ago, my whole life, I. would have been like, "No doubt I'm. having children. Like no question I'm.

having. children." And I don't feel that way. anymore. And. it's a little. surprising but not sad if anything. almost. freeing because I think I was really. just operating from that place of a it's. just a what you do like oh yeah like I'm. going to have children like like duh. like I have to like but like when I like. really think about it I'm like loving.

this time period of like feeling like I. am the main focus in my life like truly. just me and like what do I want and what. makes me happy and like everything is. revolving like around you me and like I. get to be selfish and like my entire. life like. I from like seventh grade was like put. in positions that were like pretty crazy. of like taking care of my family. emotionally financially. until like not too too long ago and like.

I'm like it's my time and it's like my. turn and like if a child fits into that. at some point like that's great and. beautiful and like I know I'd be a great. mother. I might have a kid at 40. Yes. I. might not have a kid. And that's and. it's like it was like pretty like wild. to say that out loud cuz. like I just wouldn't have thought it.

thought it and yet here you are. And I. feel like again, had you gone down that. path with that ex-boyfriend, you. wouldn't have probably even had a chance. to recognize that because of just this. timeline. That's what you and Matt me, you and Matt were talking about. when. you're in. something that you're unsure, you or. maybe it was me and you, you and Matt, you chase the next milestone cuz that. like puts like a it gives you something. to look forward to and focus on to. distract from the problems in the.

relationships like but we're going to. get engaged and then everything's going. to get better and we're going to get. married and let's focus on the wedding. And then all the wedding. and then once you got the kid we're like. oh we're going to and then it's all. these distractions and you these. milestones and everything's good for a. little bit and then once you hit that. there's a come down and then you're like. what the [ __ ] is next and you you've. seen those those relationships with. people. I think it's so beautiful when. you said this to me the other day and I. was like emotional for you because I. feel like we have so many things that.

we're just taught from a young age as. women and no one really tells us. But by. the way, you can do it completely. different. You don't have to do that. We. don't have to do what our moms did. And. I feel like this is such a beautiful. place in your life that you're in. like. you're really really in control right. now and in tune with what you want and. thank God you listen to yourself when. you were in something that would have. been easy to move forward with but. difficult in the long run. It's like the.

short terterm reward really you have to. think about the long term. And now the. fact that you're able to realize all. these things about yourself. I'm just so. happy for you. And I really hope people. listening can find their version of what. you and I are both going through right. now cuz I think we're both at a period. where we're really having to look at. ourselves and as women we don't feel. comfortable kind of like silencing like. the noise being like in this moment like. what do I want? And if you don't know,

that's your first step that you need to. spend some more alone time with. yourself. If you're in a relationship, that still means you should be spending. alone time and checking in with. yourself. But you guys, Lauren and I. this summer are aligned. We are I'm on. my I'm doing a huge [ __ ] victory lap. and enjoying my [ __ ] time being a. newlywed. And Lauren is [ __ ] single. and she's going to have a good summer. And so I'm just celebrating myself. Yeah. And so the two of us, I feel like. it's this beautiful going to be a great.

[ __ ] summer of us just like going a. lot of fun plans, you guys. We have so. many fun plans that I I don't want to. fully tell you about because it will be. fun um to roll like for you guys to roll. out our social roll out our social. calendar for you guys. Um, but also more. importantly, I think Lauren and I will. need to come back on this couch soon. because um, there's a couple things that. maybe you'll find out soon that couple. announcements coming. Yeah. That you and. I haven't. really ever ever ever talked about that.

I think will definitely catch people by. surprise. Yeah. I think the daddy gang. is going to be like shocked but also. like like, "Oh, it all makes sense now.". Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, that's. all all good things are coming this. summer. But, um, thank you for sharing. all of this and because I do really. think like so much of what you are going. through right now and always is like so. relatable and I feel like a lot of. people really appreciate whenever you.

come and sit down. So, thank you Lauren. This was this was a [ __ ] wholesome. ass episode. Daddy gang, we love you. Thank you so much for tuning in and I. will see you [ __ ] next Wednesday. Goodbye. [Music].