How To Handle The Holidays (Full Episode)

Hello, Daddy Gang. Welcome back to. another cozy cozy Sunday session with. your father. Um, I hope you guys are all. having a lovely Sunday, relaxing, maybe. getting ahead on some stuff. If not, no. worries. You're just hanging out with. me. And, um, yeah, I'm just going to. jump right into it because here's the. thing. We are heading into the time of. year where everything is supposed to be. magical. Oh my god, the holidays, you.

guys. Literally so excited. Can't wait, right? Oh my god. Oh my god. It's going. to be amazing. Like, we have. Thanksgiving coming up and then right. around the corner is Hanukkah and then. Christmas and then New Year's. It is. quote unquote supposed to be the best. time of the year. Emphasis on the. supposed to be, which is why I kind of. like to do a yearly PSA episode around. the holiday season. Um, if you have been. with me for many years, you know, I kind. of do this often because I think it can. be very, very not only helpful for you, but also for me. This could also just be.

like a full episode where I'm just. really doing this for myself and talking. to myself and my family members, but. hopefully this is relatable to you. I. think it's important to do a little. reality check around this time of year. because we are kind of weeks out from. all of the amazing sometimes chaos. beginning. And I feel like we can. picture what our holiday is going to. look like and we can easily get our. hopes up. We think it's going to be like. the Hallmark movies. We're going to have.

matching pajamas with our family. Although that may be a nightmare to some. people. Some people would like that. You. know, big meals, presents, family time, laughter around the fireplace, hot. cocoa, carolers. Like it's you're like, "Okay, this is the time of year that. I've been literally waiting for." like. this is my Pinterest board. Like this is. it, Alex. Like I couldn't be more. excited. And then we get to the moment. that we've built up in our head and. we're like, "Wait, why do I feel like low-key kind of.

disappointed, like a little let down, like this is literally not what I was. envisioning?" It's because the truth is. is that this time of year can be so. disorienting and it can be a letown. On. paper, it's supposed to be the most. joyful holiday season, but for a lot of. us, it can be one of the hardest times. of the year. And I promise you're not. alone in feeling that way. I also want. to make sure everyone knows, I don't. think that I'm saying anything. revolutionary, but I'm making sure that.

for the majority of people who are a. little bit [ __ ] sad and depressed. during this time of year, you're not. alone. If you are someone who has a. perfect family and you're like, "What. are you literally talking about? I do. have the picture perfect life around the. holidays, this may not be for you. I. have a [ __ ] seed stuck in my tooth. and no one's in the room with me. So, like, if there's a kernel in my tooth, no, it's not. And just pretend that you. never saw that. Let's just pretend. Imagine I get through the whole [ __ ]. episode and I have a bunch of black [ __ ].

in my teeth. Okay. Um, but yeah, you may. be someone that this doesn't apply to, and that's completely fine. Anyways, for. the other side of us that, you know, have struggled sometimes during the. holidays, I want you to keep in mind, and this is just like a cozy reminder, every single advertisement, every. Christmas song, every cozy movie, it is. all designed to make you feel like the. holidays are a time of just pure. excitement and that everything is going. to be magical and perfect. But trust me, most people's holidays do not look like.

that. If you're the person sitting here. being like, "Why can't my family be like. the rest?" Babe, you're actually you're. actually the norm, okay? You're actually. not the outlier in this situation. You. are 100% the majority because the. holidays can bring a lot of financial. stress. It can bring loneliness. It can. bring grief or highlight grief, right? Whether you're missing someone, maybe. you're feeling left out, or also just. the more like common one like you are so. stretched thin with work and you're.

trying to keep up and then it's the. holidays and it's like, "Oh my god, I. feel like I am underwater." You could be. dealing with family dynamics, travel. plans, work deadlines, the list goes on, right? And somehow we are still expected. to feel rested and joyful after all of. the chaos. I just want to remind everyone, no one. has a perfect family. No matter how good. they may make it look, everyone has. something. Maybe your family is the loud.

and chaotic family. Maybe they are cold. and disconnected. Maybe there is. addiction going on in your household. Like everything going on in your family. just gets extremely elevated during the. holiday season. And it can be so so hard. to, you know, go from building this up. in your head of how excited you are to. have a few days off of work and, you. know, you think you're gonna get to. relax and then your uncle says something. offensive before dinner even [ __ ]. starts and you're like, "Oh, cool. Cool.

Okay, love that for me. God [ __ ] damn. it." Like, you haven't even been able to. catch a break for a second and then it. just all starts getting [ __ ] thrown. at you and you're like, "Oh, I forgot. this is what the holidays is actually. like." Like when it comes to family, I. think my advice, and I don't know if. this is me being like pessimistic, but. it's the honest truth, is like I've seen. it enough. I've done this show for long. enough, and I have so many people that. always write in just being like, I was. so let down. I think when it comes to.

family, it can be healthy to slightly, I'm just saying slightly, not. completely, but slightly lower your. expectations, right? Cuz like how. amazing if you go in be like, "This is. about to be shit." And then it's like, "Oh my god, my grandma didn't make a. racist comment. My dad didn't get. hammered. My mom wasn't a narcissist. My. [ __ ] cousin didn't like smack me in. the head." Like, there's so much beauty. happening right now. It's almost better. to go in like that than rather expect.

the world and literally just get [ __ ]. [ __ ] on. Um, but I think also something. as I've reflected with my therapist is. like something about the holidays. obviously is just so nostalgia. corecoded, right? And I think a lot of. times when we think about the holidays, we feel like they should feel like they. did when we were kids. And. obviously that's not going to happen. So. I think it can end up highlighting how.

different things are now than they were. in your childhood, right? Circumstances. change, people pass away, relationships. end, families break up, parents get. divorced, family dynamics shift. throughout time. And to help us get. through this, I just want to highlight. like on normal days as an adult, you are. not having to confront all of it at. once, right? you are not in a room with. all of these people and all of these. triggers. It's peacemeal throughout the.

year, but then the holidays come and it. kind of just slaps us in the face and. it's like, god damn, my shit's so. [ __ ] Like, no. And I think that is. really when the sadness can creep in. You expect things to either look like. they used to or you expect things to be. different than they were. Like, how have. we not grown as a family? How are we. still fighting over the same thing that. we did when we were 5 years old? Like. how is this happening? The overarching. theme is the holidays most of the time.

do not live up to the expectations that. we built up in our head. Right? Like I. said, I think the first step in. surviving the holidays and actually. having a chance to enjoy them is to stop. trying to make them perfect. We cannot. control what it's all going to be like, but we can control how we react. you already know what your triggers are. with your family or the people you're. going to be spending it with, right? Like maybe it's the way the energy. shifts after your family has had that. third round of drinks and everyone's. always fighting. Or maybe your aunt who.

is always making a comment when you help. yourself to seconds about your body, like you know it's going to come. Or. maybe it's running into your hometown. friends at the bar and like feeling left. out and it's triggering you back to high. school or middle school or whatever it. be. My advice is as we get closer to all. of this coming to a head, try to. anticipate what that trigger is for you. and recognize those things that year. after year keep making you feel upset. and just try to get ahead of it. Like. literally just try to get ahead of it.

Like, okay, I know this is going to. happen. So, one, how will I respond this. year? and how will I respond in a way. that will make my time happier and more. enjoyable, right? And so maybe it's. setting some boundaries, maybe it's. breaking patterns, maybe it's breaking. traditions. Like you have to decide for. yourself. Every family is different. I. could sit here for hours and just go. through scenarios. But you, every single. person listening right now, close your. eyes. Don't do it if you're driving, but.

close your eyes. Even if you're at work, your boss is walking by. Hold on, hold. on, Ron. I need to lock in. Alex is. telling me to locate the family trauma. really quick. Hold on. Hold on. I'll get. you the sales report in one minute. Okay, everyone close your eyes. What is the thing that you know is going. to trigger you for the holidays? Uh, it. came to you're like, "Babe, how do I. pick one?" You're like, "Alex, um, which. one should I pick?" Okay, we all have it. in our head. Now, for the next few. hours, minutes, or days, start to just.

plan the shield around yourself of how. you're going to try to not let that. [ __ ] ruin your holiday this [ __ ]. year. And I know it's really difficult. to do because there's going to be. circumstances that you cannot control. But I think just finding what works for. you, right? It is okay to not have a. perfect holiday and a perfect family. that you know you see on Instagram, but. news flash, like most of the people. probably posting how happy their family. is on [ __ ] holidays on Instagram are.

the most miserable. Cuz if you're really. that happy, are you on your [ __ ]. phone? No. I know some of the best. holidays I've had with my family. I'm. like, you guys, we didn't post. We. didn't take a picture. We did nothing. because we were playing board games and. cards and whatever. And it's like that's. being present is a privilege during the. holidays. Being able to be present and. actually not wanting to be on your phone. is a privilege because there's so much. going on and so much trauma and so much.

baggage and history that it's really. really hard to just enjoy yourself. So. just a little reminder, you know, and. even if the people that are posting on. [ __ ] Instagram are actually happy, don't don't DM me. I'm trying to make. everyone else feel good. Okay. Um, try. to just enjoy yourself, I think, is what. I'm going to try to just instill within. myself and for you guys. And try not to. let the romanticizing of this time of. year let you down. I had you guys write. in specific questions about how to. navigate the holidays because that's.

literally what's about to consume our. [ __ ] lives. So, if you're ready, cuz. I'm ready, let's answer some questions. of the [ __ ] week. Um, okay. Let. let me get my let me get the questions. Hold on. Call Her Daddy is brought to. you by Uber Eats. Okay, Daddy Gang, we. all know Uber Eats has the best. selection of local restaurants, but did. you know they also eat when it comes to. a whole range of delivery services? Now,

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Okay. Question one. Hi, Father Cooper. My boyfriend invited me to spend. Thanksgiving at his house and I'm. meeting his entire family for the first. time. I'm freaking out and want to be. sure that I make a good impression. What. should I do? What should I wear? Please. help me. Oh my god. Okay. I mean, before we get into it, I think. it's just like important to acknowledge. that spending the holidays with a. partner is a big deal and a big step in.

the relationship. Typically, that I. would assume that means you guys are. getting more serious and you can see a. legitimate future together, which is. very exciting. I'm happy for you. My. advice is just to also go into this like. this is a good trial run to see how you. would fit in with his family and whether. or not you could picture being a part of. each other's lives, right? like you get. to experience their traditions up close. and you can really learn a lot about. their family dynamic. And so something. to keep in mind though is like I just.

talked about the holidays are a high. stress, high tension time, right? So I'm. not saying that they should be like the. most insane family and like give them a. break for it, but like their behavior, just keep in mind, may not represent. what they actually are like around the. dayto-day, right? Especially at the. holidays. Not every single interaction. is going to be perfect. There will. probably be some awkward or tough. moments. There could be a family fight. And so, just remember to give both.

yourself and their family a little bit. of grace. Okay. So, now let's talk about. the very basic steps of like how to make. a good first impression. And um we can. also get into actual conversations and. interactions that you should be having. while you're there. My first piece of. advice, very simple, very basic, but. like absolutely necessary. You need to. bring a gift. Okay? This does not have. to be an elaborate, expensive situation, but you should never ever ever show up. to someone's Thanksgiving dinner or.

someone's home, in my opinion, completely empty-handed when they are. hosting you. Some safe and foolproof. gifts are things like a cute scented. candle, a fruit basket, a bottle of wine. if the family drinks, or since it is. Thanksgiving, you could ask your. boyfriend like, "Hey, do they need me to. cook anything?" If you're a cook, um, sweetie, if you don't cook, I wouldn't. use this as an opportunity to try to. make a pumpkin pie for the first time.

Maybe lay off. Maybe this is where. self-awareness kicks in and it's like. maybe don't try to make the stuffing. Um, just bring a [ __ ] candle. But if. you do, maybe bake a pie. Maybe that's. something you're really good at and you. could show off, right? Like bring a. dessert, bring something extra. Literally anything that you walk in with. is thoughtful, right? Like I said, it's. a big deal to be included in someone's. holiday. So, I think just making sure. you're constantly being like thankful. I. know that sounds literally like you're.

like, I don't need to suck up to these. people. Saying thank you a good amount. of times gets you some high regard, sweetie. Now, don't be a [ __ ] over. the top [ __ ] where they're like, "Jesus. Christ, we get it. You're [ __ ]. thankful." Like, although that is what. this holiday is about. So, keep that in. mind. I'm just so thankful to be with. Marty's family today. And they're like, "Shut up, Christine." You're like, "Well, fuck." Don't be annoying. Like, too try hard. You got to You got to. That's the beauty of self-awareness is. like find that middle ground, sweetie. And it ain't easy to find. So, you got. to feel it. You got to really be in your.

body this Thanksgiving with your. partner. Um, can we talk about outfits? Dressing for Thanksgiving can be a. little bit tricky. I know personally, you know, I love to stuff my face. I'm. going in for seconds, thirds, and many. more rounds for Thanksgiving dinner. So, I personally would like to wear a pant. that is elastic, right? There's no. buttons or if there's buttons, I'm. unbuttoning them off the [ __ ] table. Um, but you know, I feel like a lot of. families aren't casual for Thanksgiving. It is kind of fun to dress up anyways.

Although I'm like, "Let's just do. sweats." And my whole family's always. like, "No, Alex, like put on a skirt.". I'm like, "Oh." Um, but I do think you. can kind of never go wrong with like a. pant, a loafer, and a little cute. sweater or like a skirt sweater combo. But overall, you do not want to feel. uncomfortable. And a lot of families. have a lot of traditions around this. type of dress code situation. So, if I. were you, ask your boyfriend like, "Can. you tell me what your mom or your sister. or any of like the women like usually.

wear?" Or how about actually this could. be a great conversation starter. depending on how close you are. Do you. know his sister? Does he have a sister? That would be maybe a good time to text. her and be like, "Hey, like just. wondering what you're wearing." Um, but. do not wear a crop top. Do not probably. don't have your tits out, right? Like. it's just it's just the things that you. want his grandma to see. And you know, to each his own. If you want to go. clubbing outfit, uh do your thing. I. just wouldn't personally recommend it.

This is a family gathering. Okay. Um. keep it together. Janice, you and your. boyfriend. I also would say to set. yourself up for success, talk to him. about all the people that you're going. to be meeting before you walk into this. house. Right. We got we got a lot of. weird people. We got a we got a lot of. freaks in families and we love the. freaks, but you got to know the freaks. You got to have you got to you got to. get your bearings. And I would think.

it's nice of your boyfriend to not let. you get your initial bearings while. you're just out there raw dogging it. alone, right? Your boyfriend should kind. of be giving you that like the mean. girls moment where it's like the these. people at this table are like this and. this group is like this. Like, give me. the lay of the land, John. Like, I want. to know what I'm getting myself into. Like, oh, Aunt Betty isn't invited this. year. And, oh yeah, Uncle [ __ ] Jerry, he's probably going to make an. inappropriate comment about your boobs. And just stay strong, you know? And, oh. yeah, my dad will absolutely be tanked,

but like, just keep it moving. Oh yeah, and by the way, my aunt Gertrude, she's. definitely going to [ __ ] hit on you. And you're like, wait, your Aunt. Gertrude. He's like, oh yeah, a finger. under the table may come. You got to. just boundary that [ __ ] up. Cross the. legs. And you can you can say something. You can say, "Gertude. Gertrude. Yep. Keep the fingers to yourself." Like, he's gonna tell you because he's been. there since day one with these freaks. He's been there. He's been there when.

one of them got the [ __ ] you know, DUI. He's been there when the medics. came because [ __ ] Franny thought it. would be fun to jump off the [ __ ]. roof into the snow and then broke her. bones. This is this is your worst case. And imagine if he's like, "Oh yeah, like. my mom can just be a little talkative.". Oh, marry him. Okay. Um, but most of the. time there is an Aunt Betty, there is an. Uncle Jerry. I don't know if there's an.

alkude, but you get what I'm [ __ ]. saying. Okay, so really try to get your. boyfriend to give you the down low. before you're in and around because. that's the beauty. Then you can be like. watching for all these dynamics, but you. can be on guard. You can be on. [ __ ] guard and you can kind of. show up cuz you're like, "Oh, this one's. trigger this. I'm going to absolutely be. good with this woman." Do you know what. I'm saying? like have a little bit of. your repertoire stacked ready to go. Um,

but yeah, I feel like it also is just. like makes such a bad impression if you. are not talking a lot. I get you can be. shy, but you don't want to go in there. and like barely engage with his family. cuz you're trying not to [ __ ] up and. then they're going to be like, "Okay, like you literally brought a girl that's. just like being [ __ ] mute all night.". Like you want to let them get to know. you to a certain degree. So yes, share. some things about yourself. Don't. overshare because then they're like,

"Jesus Christ, she's obsessed with. herself." There is no winning. But this. is what I will tell you. Talk, right? Talk. Share a couple things about. yourself. But this is the silver. This. is that little this is this is the. actual sweet spot. When you go to. someone's Thanksgiving, all you have to do to be a winner is ask. people about themselves. Tell me about. you. Wait. Okay, so how Okay, wait. And. you and Kyle are obviously cousins, right? Okay. Yeah. So, wait. And wait, so you guys grew up together? Wait, tell.

me. Oh my god, he I think he mentioned. that. Wait, and so you guys went to the. same Oh, you went to different schools? Wait, so did you have sleepover? Stop. Did you guys like do this? Have you guys. been together for every Thanksg Oh my. gosh. What's your favorite memory? No. way. Wait. And so Kyle obviously um. decided not to go to college. Are you. in? Oh, you're in college. Okay, cool. Like, does he ever visit you? You just. you just you ask people about themselves. and the narcissist everyone is. Oh, they're going to be like, I am so.

obsessed with your girlfriend, Kyle. She. is a delight. Now, if Kyle was like, "Tell me one thing about her." They'd be. like, "Oh, now in hindsight, I can't. really think about much because well,". and then it's like, "Oh, they talk about. themselves the whole time, and you were. just there to help them go through all. of this Freudian stuff. They start. trauma dumping on you. Oh, lean in, Christine. Christine, when that family. starts trauma dumping now, don't add to. it and don't gossip, but just, oh, tell. me more. Oh, God, that must have been.

hard. How are you feeling?" Blah, blah, blah. That's it. That's it. Okay. And. then also, if you want to really be. like, "Oh, you're getting a ring at the. end of this." Offer to help out in. cleanup crew. Oh, cleanup crew aisle 10. Boom. You start scrubbing a dish for. this family. You're literally, you have. now the choice if you want to marry Kyle. or not, cuz his whole family is going to. be like, "Christine, through and through. Top tier, topnotch,

gradea [ __ ] Way to go, Kyle." cuz you. never pick them right. So you I mean. that was a long one, but you know what. I'm saying is like you are going to be. fine and you just have to stick to. You got this. You're going to be fine. Um okay, next question. Hi Daddy, I need. your help. My husband and I always spend. Christmas with my family and. Thanksgiving with his. Christmas is. extremely important to my parents and we. have tons of traditions we do together.

But this year, my mother-in-law has. decided she wants us to spend Christmas. with them instead, and it's causing a. ton of drama. My side of the family is. upset. His side of the family is upset. And I feel totally stuck in the middle. What should I do? Oh, wow. Okay, this is. really difficult because I feel like. this is one of the biggest things in. families that can obviously cause. conflict is deciding who's hosting who's.

going. And I think as we get older, there's so many sides to each family. Like it's like first it's your immediate. and then one person gets married and. then another and there's all these. different in-laws and all these extended. families and it gets really confusing. I. guess my question back to you would be. like what has changed that his family. now randomly wants to start hosting. Christmas. Clearly this it seems like. there's been no drama and it's kind of. been like this like perfect balance of. like him Thanksgiving with them, Christmas with yours. And I guess I.

would just ask like did something happen. that made them want Christmas? I also. would say not to be a dick cuz I think. this is fair. like, "Okay, well then if. they get Christmas, then you should get. Thanksgiving, right?" Because it's like. now you're not going to take both huge. holidays and they his family just own. them, right? Like there needs to be a. trade-off. My biggest suggestion though. when it comes to this kind of stuff is. you need to just get on the same page. with your husband. And I think what you. can do is open it up to him of like,

"Hey, I know that we've done Thank. every single year. Um, and I know your. mom is pushing for this or your dad is. pushing for this, but like what do what. do you feel about it? Because maybe. he'll come to me and been like, honestly, like I've been really. struggling because I know how much we. are already ingrained in this part of. the family with your family and like. this tradition, but I would like to like. have one of the Christmases with my. family, which I think is so fair. You. just have to talk about it. But then.

there also needs to be again a give and. take. So if you if he came to you and. was like this is something that like now. in hindsight like I do want to spend a. Christmas with my mom or my dad or all. those things and my siblings whatever. that is not only is that fair that is so. normal right cuz it clearly you guys. aren't merging. So I do then think that. it's like okay then this is a. conversation to be had about how can we. then do something with my family for. Christmas. I know that this sounds like. a lot you guys, but as you continue to.

grow your family outside of just your. immediate and people are getting married. and there's all these different in-laws. There needs to be sometimes two of. things, right? Like maybe you're doing. Christmas Eve and you're celebrating. Christmas and then on Christmas you're. going to his family. Like it almost is. kind of like how divorce works a little. bit, right? It's like my family, your. family. And it's lovely obviously if. people can all come together, but. realistically if you have more than one. sibling or in all these dynamics,

everyone then like my brother has. in-laws now, right? Like Matt has. siblings who have in-laws. So that all. of a sudden there's all these different. families. The immediate families coming. together is not really a thing as much. anymore. At least like I know in my. dynamic we have so many [ __ ] people. that you kind of have to pick and choose. like where you're going per you just you. and your couple. Um because all your. siblings and everyone are doing a bunch. of different things with also their. in-laws and you kind of have to see can.

we coordinate and if not great. Um sorry. this is getting so into the weeds. I. know this is really difficult but yeah. my advice would be you need to have a. trade-off. You can't now just give his. family every [ __ ] holiday. That's not. fair. So, I get why your family would be. upset, but I do think you don't now need. to just leave your family high and dry. if this is something that would be fair. to give your husband's family. Um, then. how are you guys going to make it up on. your side of the family? again whether. you do something with your family on a.

different day or whether you end up. doing Thanksgiving with your family um. it's really difficult and I think it's. going to be an ever evolving process. because then it's like which family. member has kids first and then there's. like the grandchildren and it's like it. is never ending. So yeah, that is why it. is kind of nice to be married to a man. who is Jewish because I have all of the. Catholic holidays and then Matt's family. gets all of the Jewish holidays and it's. like boom and then there's Thanksgiving.

which is always then now rotating which. is very fun. Um, okay. Next, Caller Daddy is brought to you by. Airbnb. Okay, so as you guys may know, when Lauren comes to California, we. usually grind at work and then we just. end up hanging out at my house. And. lately, work has been insane and so. busy. And by the time that we close our. laptops, we are beyond exhausted. So. recently, we decided on Lauren's last. trip that it was time to make her trip.

to California a little bit more fun. And. so we drove up to Napa for a weekend and. we found the cutest farmhouse on Airbnb. to stay in. The location could not have. been more perfect. It was right by a. vineyard and it overlooked this. beautiful golf course which, yes, made. Matt extremely jealous. Um, during the. day we went for wine tastings and then. we brought our favorite bottles back to. the house at night for cozy long talks. on the couch. We even fully leaned in.

and went to the farmers market one. morning to pick up bread and cheese for. a little chuterie board. Booking a stay. on Airbnb really made our time so much. more memorable because it became more. than just a trip to Napa. We got to go. back to our roommate era and just live. like we were actually living together. back in the day for a minute, which was. incredible. Daddy gang, a girls trip is. never a bad idea. And before you start. booking flights and dinner reservations,

take a second to find the right place to. stay. Airbnb has options for all kinds. of travelers. From extended families to. couples looking for an endofear getaway, it's always the first thing I lock in. I. am the oldest in my fan family and I. feel like I'm the least ahead in life. I. don't have anything close to my dream. job. I still live with my roommates and. even though all of my siblings are in. long-term relationships, I'm still. single. I'm really dreading Thanksgiving. because I know everyone is going to ask.

me a million questions and make me feel. like I'm a failure. I also am stressed. because I'm going to be watching. everyone in these dynamics and I'm just. going to be alone. What should I do? It's so hard. It's so hard because again. like. what you're saying in this which I have. such empathy for is like you're. basically saying I am aware that in. comparison to my siblings and their.

lives I'm at a very different point. I. wouldn't even say you're behind. Okay, don't say you're behind. You're just at. a very different point. Right? And so. you're probably not thinking about this. Monday through Friday, Saturday and. Sunday even. You may not think about. this a lot. But a lot of times, obviously, like I said at the beginning. of this episode, when you are. experiencing the holidays in a way that. is. all-encompassing, which is most of us, you can't help but go down every rabbit.

hole of, "Oh my god, okay, so this one. is in a relationship and they've been. together and now they're going to be. talking about wedding dresses and I. don't want to be there." And so, like, you're being faced with the comparison. and the um you're also with your. siblings who you've literally known. since birth. So, you're like, "Oh my. god." Then there's also the added. element of like you being the oldest but. feeling like you're behind. Like there. are so many things that are triggering. you understandably because of the um. dynamic of it being family. I think that. it's really really hard not to regress.

to how we grew up with our siblings when. you're with your siblings in these type. of environments. Like you have been. together for Christmases. I've been with. my siblings for Christmases for 31. years. Okay. And I still will find. myself with my sister and with my. brother and with my parents and we we. can try not to laugh about it, but. inevitably there are moments with my. family where I catch myself and I'm. like, "Oh my god, I'm acting like Alex, the 12-year-old who was annoyed at my. brother for this." And we are regressing.

because that is like how we see each. other sometimes with our siblings is. still as children like you and your. dayto-day. And again, I could be wrong, but it it seems like you're so stressed. because of the comparison, but probably. in your day-to-day, you feel really good. about yourself, right? Like there's a. reason you're not with someone right. now. There's a reason, right, where. you're focusing, whether it's on your. career or your hobbies or your friends, you are living your own individual life. And the time that you're feeling the. most insecure about it is when you're.

comparing it to your siblings. That is. so normal. Like validating you, you're. going to have a pit in your stomach. I. get that. But if you can try to retrain. your brain going into this being like. this is the most heightened cuz it's not. friends. These are your siblings. You. guys have said the worst things to each. other in the world. You've gotten. probably in the worst fights ever. And. you also love them more than anything. Sibling dynamics are so [ __ ]. complicated. And so a lot of times when. you grow up, and I know I was like this. with my siblings, and we've talked about.

it, you can get competitive with your. siblings. Not in a way that you even. want them to fail, but like your whole. life you're living with these people. You're watching their accolades. You're. having dinners. You're like listening to. what they did at school or how they did. at whatever. And so you're all gauging. for your whole childhood. Oh, this one's. doing this right and this one's in. trouble or this one's grounded. You're. all in this ecosystem that's so on top. of each other. And then you go out into. the world and you live your own life. And when you're put back into that, you.

go right back into that ecosystem and. you regress and you feel like a child. again. And I also think again, I don't. know your family, but something that I. would give you as advice to leave you. with this is yes, you can try all the. things of don't compare yourself to your. siblings. Easier said than done, but. don't don't allow this one week or. whatever it be to derail what you've. been working for for yourself. individually. However, you could also. say that to your siblings, guys. I know. like sometimes you have to use humor.

Hey everyone, we're starting the. holidays off. I just want to acknowledge. that I know all of you are in. relationships. I know all of you are. like whether you're married or your kids. or your whatever and I'm the only single. one. I'm going to say it and I'm going. to be the only one to say it and we're. going to not bring it up because I don't. want I can't handle it. I can't handle. it this holiday, right? So like let's. not talk about my dating life and don't. ask me about it. Honestly, then your. siblings may be like, "Okay, Francis, like, cool. Don't care.". Cuz no one really gives a [ __ ] No one.

cares. No one really [ __ ] cares. No. one cares. But when you're in these. environments, all of a sudden you're. like, "Uh, yeah, Francis, how's the. dating pool going?" Like, cuz people are. just trying to have conversation. And if. you kind of, you could almost do that. and just be like, "I'm not interested.". If my sister or my brother did that to. me, I'd be like, "Okay." And then I. wouldn't bring it up because it's kind. of like, "Cool." So, I'm sorry though. I. know that's Dude, sibling [ __ ] is so.

[ __ ] annoying. It's It's not easy. Um, okay. Next. Every holiday and. birthday, my boyfriend gets me the worst. gift ever. It's honestly really. upsetting. Not because I'm being. materialistic, but because it feels like. he doesn't know me or my personality at. all. How do I talk to him about this? Um, here's what I think. Sometimes with. gifts with partners, it's a really. there's there's kind of two paths and. there's no in between. Either Well, yes,

then there's the people that get you. [ __ ] great gifts. But if someone is. getting you not good gifts, they're. either like really really trying, right? And you're like, "Oh my god, babe." And. he's like, "Look what I made you." And. it's like you guys had gone to Paris for. like your three-year and he ends up like. making this like god awful hideous. Eiffel Tower thing and he like made. these little handcrafted things and it's. like the two of you in the Eiffel Tower. kissing and you're literally like Legos.

But it's like he tried so hard and he's. like, "I spent like almost like an. entire week building this thing for you. that I thought you could put at your. desk in your office or whatever." And. you're literally like, "Oh my god, Steve, that is beyond gorge." You're like, "Oh. my god, Steve. Steve. Steve. Oh my god, I love you so much, Steve. Thank you, Steve. Thank you for the [ __ ] Lego. set." And then he's like, "Whoa, wait. Do you not like it?" And you're like,

and you want to be like, "Of course I. don't like the [ __ ] Lego set, Steve.". But then you like see on his like pure. baby angel face and you're like, "Oh my. god, this poor man actually thought I. was going to like this." Like, but he. and it's a whole misunderstanding and. you're kind of like, "Oh, this poor. man." And he constantly tries to do. these really thoughtful things that just. [ __ ] flop. That's one side. The other. side that I see that I worry about is. like when guys are getting you really. bad gifts, I I can't help but think like.

they're not listening to you. Does he. understand what you like to do, what. where you shop, what you wear, what your. favorite things are to do with your. girlfriends. Like, is he engaged enough. in your life and present enough and. actually focused enough to understand. what you like? Because a gift for a. woman is not that hard. It's really, really, really, really, really not that. hard. And I would go as far to say it's. probably actually one of the easiest. things men can do for a woman is just.

get them a good gift. Clothes, jewelry, um, you know, a bottle of wine and a. [ __ ] romantic card. um flowers and a. little bracelet and a card that is a. love letter. Um love letters. You could. literally give her love. Oh, wait. That. would require him to know how to read. and write. Um no, no. This there is like. endless. Get her a gift card to Sephora. Get her like there's so much. And then.

men it's like do you want a do you want. a [ __ ] fishing rod? You loser. like, "Oh, well, I already got you a fishing. rod. Um, I got you a new golf set. Um, I. got you a new golf polo that I get the. ick every time you wear it. Um, I got. you a golf belt. Um, I got you some Bud. Lights and I got you new khakis, you. [ __ ] loser." Like, then it's like, what else could a man need, right? Like. a watch, I guess, for your 10th.

anniversary. Like, we're really pushing. it with men. There's not much to give. cuz there's not much to them. You know, women, oh, the complexity. we are, we are range to range. We've got. we have literal range. You could go so. many different directions and it ain't. that hard, right? So, if your boyfriend. is like really missing the mark when it. comes to gifts, I guess I would ask you,

does he know your middle name? Like, does he know you? Is he Is he Is. he really in tune? Like, when you go to. date nights, do you find yourself. talking a lot at him and him kind of. like glazed over or is he like, "Wait, but babe, I remember you said 3 months. ago that you didn't like um Veronica. like and you're like, "No, that was. Vicki." And you're like, "Oh, my bad. Okay, wait. Yeah, so it was Vicki. You. got in the fight about this. Does he.

know?" And again, listen, there's. sometimes Matt just glazes right over. when I'm talking about all the reality. shows or the drama. For sure, they can. tune some of it out, but to what extent. is this man tuning you out? Because I. think when it comes to gifts, sometimes. it's like, "Oh my god, I know." Listen, shout out to my brother. I love you so. much. He's really bad at this. And I've. been really helpful to him. I'm like, "What does she like?" And he's like, "Oh. yeah, she always wears do." I'm like, "Well, what color jewelry does she. wear?" And he's like, "Gold." I'm like, "There you go. Now, let's go to the.

jewelry store and get her a gold [ __ ]. necklace. So, it's like pretty basic. It's pretty basic. Pretty pretty basic. Um, I guess you could do this is if. you're finding yourself being like, "No, no, no. He really knows me. Um, he just. still sucks at getting gifts." You're. going to make a shared notes app. That's. what you're going to do. You're going to. make a shared notes app and you're going. to say, "Hey, babe. Hey, babe. Hey, baby. Um, I love you, but I'm finding.

that I don't want you spending money on. things that like I'm not going to use. And I love that you try each year to get. me good gifts. But there are also things. throughout the year I realize that like. I never really would get myself, but I. would like as a gift. And so I'm going. to just start a notes app throughout the. year, not just leading up to Christmas. or birthdays or holidays, whatever, throughout the year. And every time you. see something that you like, just throw. it in the notes app. And so then he can. have a plethora of things that wouldn't. let you down as he is going shopping on.

these glorious canon events. Um yeah, that's that's kind of my uh that's my. two cents. Let me know if you guys agree. or disagree. Call Her Daddy is brought. to you by Old Navy. Okay, from everyday denim to full party. looks, Old Navies got presents at. perfect prices for everyone on your. list, including yourself. Okay, Daddy. Gang, I love my comfy clothes. We all.

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they make great gifts. Even if that gift. happens be for you, aka what I'm going. to be doing. I'm like, "Oh my god, this. looks so cute for me." Okay, I just. bought myself a pair of the loose jeans. also and they have the literal perfect. fit. So, shop in store or online at old. navy.com. It is officially the holiday. season which means backtoback parties, hitting up your hometown bar and. squeezing in every second with your. favorite people. And that, ladies and.

gentlemen, calls for bringing a White. Claw variety pack to every party this. holiday season. My personal favorite is. black cherry. But I've learned you got. to have something for everybody, right? My brother loves the raspberry. My. sister is obsessed with the natural. lime. So, whatever celebrations you've. got on the calendar this year, just grab. a White Claw variety pack and make it a. moment everyone is going to enjoy. My. absolute favorite part of the holiday. season is always the night before. Thanksgiving when it's just me and my.

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I have been unhappy in my relationship. for a few months now, and I know it's. time to end things, but it feels so mean. to break up with someone right around. the holidays. Should I hang on until New. Year's or get it over with? Help. Oh, sweetie, this is like gradea. Alex Cooper [ __ ] I have ended. so many relationships around the. holidays. I have helped my siblings and.

relationships around the holidays and. friends and friends have helped me and. relationships around the holidays. Here's the thing. You think in your. brain, oh, just wait through the. holidays like it will just be more. traumatizing to them to break up with. them right before Christmas and we. already actually made plans for New. Year's and so I'll just do it after. No, no, no, no, no. if there's anything. because I don't really believe in. resolutions or the [ __ ] you know Jan.

one let's let's reorg. believe in with the Jan one resolutions. is you are not going into this next year. with bad energy and you are not going. into that next year with someone that. you know for a damn fact you don't want. to be with and I'm also not letting you. bring them in to the new year with a a. relationship that you're aware is over. but they're not aware Cuz guess what's. not fair? You know, you know that around. the holidays, they're going to be like,

"What? Oh my god, for the new year, like. we should go here. What what are we. going to do in the summertime?" They're. planning. You start planning. You know, you start planning for what's the next. year, 2026. It's going to be big. It's. going to be big for us, babe. This is a. big year. And all a sudden, you're. literally like, "I am literally breaking. up with you. on January 1st." And you don't even. know. You didn't even tell Kristoff that. you're going to end it. And you're. [ __ ] sitting there and Kristoff is. dreaming about the world with you and. you're literally like only two more days.

till I can [ __ ] get rid of this. person. Like not fair. Weirdly I think. the holidays are a fabulous time to. break up with someone because the. holidays are depressing anyways. You. know, we have all the like the Hallmark. and the oo and the ah and the romcoms. and the gorgeous and the you know, you. watch all the movies, but in hindsight, you know, shit's dark around the. holidays. So, let them just dig deep. into the darkness and get broken up with. and then be with their family and then.

their family's going to be like, "F her. She's not [ __ ] Like, you were better. than her." And let Kristoff marinate in. his sadness in the warm embrace in the. arms of his family. not in the arms of. you, the traitor who knows you're over. it, but you're still like, "Merry. Christmas, babe. Let's watch Elf." And. he's like, "That reminds me of us." And. you're literally like, you. you know, breaking up with someone.

during the holidays is actually the most. selfless thing you can do. And I know. some people may disagree with me on. that. to hold hands as the carolers come. by. We wish you a merry Christmas. And. Kristoff is looking at you with crystals. in his eyes like, "That's my baby. That's my baby. Can't wait to ring in. the new year with her. Can't wait to. have the most romantic mistletoe kiss. later tonight. Can't wait to Can't wait.

for her Oh, how about this? Can't wait. to give her her gift. I got her a. Tiffany necklace. I got her a I got her. a gorgeous bouquet of whatever. This poor man during the holidays or. this poor woman. When you're in a. relationship, this is the most it can be the most. romantic time for couples. So, when you're privy to the information. that you don't want to be in said couple. anymore, girl, you got to let him go. You got to let him go so his mother or. his father or his friends or his.

siblings or whoever it be can hold him. and can watch movies with him and he can. cry and drink eggnog and you know drink. himself to sleep or eat himself to sleep. or whatever he does to cope. And then. come Jan 1 for someone who was broken up. with during the holidays. I think it's. really nice and a refreshed moment to be. like, "Okay, come gen one, I'm getting. myself up and I'm gonna move on from. that relationship." So, um, yeah, you're. doing it. And anyone that's watching,

Daddy Gang, you will be breaking up with. that person that you know you don't want. to be with, and you will not be [ __ ]. dragging them through Thanksgiving and. Christmas and making them give you gifts. and you getting them a gift. Cuz then. they're going to be like, "Yo, you. literally bought me that and you knew. that you wanted to break up with me, but. you still went to the store and bought. me the gift." It's always better. And if. your excuse to why you can't break up. with someone during the holidays is. because you already have plans and you. already bought the tickets and. everything, no.

No. No. Nope. I refuse. I refuse. No. You're not staying with someone just cuz. you booked the tickets to. Abu Dhabi and you've got this big trip. with the group. No, you're staying home. and you're losing money. or they can. stay home once you break up with them if. it was your friends. That kind of sucks. But no, it's better cuz what? Then you. get to Abu Dhabi and your [ __ ] tits. are bouncing around and you're like, "Hey, Abu Dhabi." And then he's sitting.

there Abu Dhabiing with you and [ __ ]. bouncing his [ __ ] around, too. And then. you're going to cut him off by the knees. and be like, "Oh, by the way, I'm. breaking up with you right when you. land." Then he's going to have trust. issues, honey. And this is where I mean. we could do a whole episode on this. because then you were living a lie and. smiling in this person's face during. this time and then they're going to sit. there and be like, "Oh my god, while we.

were caroling, while we were watching. the movie, while we were baking, this. motherfer knew and still was a crazy. [ __ ] and went through with it and. didn't just tell me cuz guess what? They. probably wouldn't want to be with you. marinating the sauces and making the. dips and the appetizers with you if they. knew you didn't want to be with them. So, give them a little bit of [ __ ]. truth and give them the chance to be.

like, "Sanara, I don't want to spend my. Christmas with you, coldhearted bitch.". Um, so yeah, I think it's a little. selfish to stay with someone during the. holidays and. yeah, end it. Boom. Boom, boom, boom. All right. Um, I feel like that's it for. today. I think we accomplished a lot. I. feel like this was good. And I felt like. the honest truth that I said at the. beginning, and I am saying this because. I'm also saying it for myself, is like.

do not let yourself over. romanticize the holidays. That is only going to let you down. And. I hope when I say that I want you all to. know that I am so happy for you if you. are someone who doesn't have strained. dynamics or difficult dynamics or. families with lack of boundaries or you. know addiction or loss or whatever it be. like what a blessing and I hope you.

enjoy your holidays as you should and. you deserve but to the majority when I'm. speaking. this is about to be. up up and down right there. This I'm not. saying that this holiday season there's. not not going to be any happiness. It's. just with the pressure and the weight. It's similar to New Year's Eve. It's. similar to birthdays when you have these. big hallmark moments. There is the. idealized romanticized version and then. there is reality. And I think the more.

that we go into these situations just. prepping ourselves, it will allow us to. alleviate the pain and alleviate. ourselves from feeling such a hole of. like why don't I have that type of. family that can do X. Last note, and I. don't know how many obviously people. listening are going to experience this, but if you're someone who's going to. spend the holidays alone, and maybe it's. by choice, maybe it's not by choice. I. can imagine. that's really difficult because.

or maybe it's not. Again, there may be. some people being like, "No, I'm. literally choosing it. I'm going to pour. myself multiple multiple glasses of wine. and I'm going to order in my favorite. food and have a great time." Love that. for you. But there are some people that. are going to go through it this year. And just know, just know and I hope this. can help. It feels so all-encompassing. And my biggest advice to you, number. one, stay off social media. Because. although on normal days, social media. can maybe come as like this distraction.

to you and kind of like take you out of. your real life, you're going to be. watching such. fakeness on social media of just like. perfectly curated pictures and families. and all of it. It's going to potentially. make you feel more alone. So, what I. would do is lean into things that you've. wanted to do throughout the year, but. you never got to do. Like, maybe you've. wanted to go to one of those like wine. and paint classes, or maybe you've. wanted to go see a movie and go to the.

movie theater alone. Maybe you've wanted. to buy yourself these really cute. pajamas or things and you never did it. Buy yourself the outfit. Take yourself. on a date. Read a book. You know what I. mean? like do things that are self-care. almost that most people that are going. to spend a lot of time with family. during the holidays are not going to. feel rejuvenated. I feel like everyone. always says, "I need a vacation from the. vacation." This is a very. overstimulating time. So, if you are. someone that is going to be alone, use. it to your advantage and pour so much.

time and love into yourself and invest. in yourself. And then when everyone on. January 2nd comes back to work and is. like, "Oh my god, like I'm so tired, blah blah blah." you're like in your you. don't need to be the person saying it. out loud, but in your heart, you know, like I literally pampered myself for the. past few weeks. I've never felt better. And I'm really proud of myself that like. I was able to spend that amount of alone. time and find joy within myself and. didn't have to like, you know, scroll. and watch people and then feel worse.

about myself and then go to bed with an. ache in my like no, just focus on. yourself and that's that. I hope this. made you feel better and I hope I know. it was a lot about like how it's not. going to be the best holiday season. Um, it can be again, right? It's in your. control of how you approach it and being. realistic with yourself. And I hope that. allowed you to maybe do some. self-reflecting before all of the fun. and beautiful, but also crazy chaos. begins. Um, I love you, Daddy Gang. You. are not alone. And just know that.

your father loves you. Okay, I will see. you [ __ ] on Wednesday. Goodbye. [Music].