Holly & Bridget: Controlling Men 101

What is up, daddy gang? It is your. founding father, Alex Cooper, with Call. Her Daddy. >> Bridget and Holly, welcome to Caller. Daddy. Thanks for having us. >> Yeah, thanks so much. >> You guys, I was sitting I think it was. like the other week and I was like, I. need a Girls girl episode. I just need. to like talk to girls that get it and I. immediately thought of the two of you. and I'm like, you guys have to come on. So, thank you for being here. >> Oh, I love that. Yeah. >> So, first of all, it's crazy, Holly,

because I have a lot of new listeners, and I'm thinking back to when we. recorded our first episode together. There may be some people that like. haven't heard it. So, guys, if you. haven't listened, go listen because it. was amazing. But, how long ago was that? It was like two years ago. And it was. the first interview I'd done in like 5. years cuz I was totally anti-doing PR, but I was a fan of your show. And I. thought, well, this will be fun. And. then you inspired me to start my own. podcast. You're totally my inspo cuz I. had so much fun on that one too. A. >> it was such a good experience and like I.

agree. I think we were like oh my god. let's have a combo. We were like getting. so deep. We were both like emotional. We. were like [ __ ] that was amazing. So. thank you for getting so deep with me on. that. And anyone again go watch it. because it's incredible. But now I have. you two lovely ladies here and I want to. kind of like maybe people that are new. can you explain Holly like how do you. guys know each other? How are you guys. friends? How did you guys meet? Well, we. were living together at the Playboy. Mansion for like seven years and we were. on a show, a reality show called The. Girls Next Door that was on from like.

2005 to 2009 and that's how we know each. other. So, it was complicated. >> Yes. >> To people that maybe are listening that. are like, I don't even know what the. Playboy Mansion is. I don't understand. any of this. Please, can you kind of. like explain what the Playboy Mansion. was like during that time? >> The Playboy Mansion was the place to be. at that time. Um, in the early 2000s, everybody wanted to be there. Every. celebrity, every girl that I knew of. wanted to be a part of it, wanted to be.

a playmate, wanted to go to the parties. They had the best parties in the world. there. >> Um, it was just the place that you. wanted to go, you wanted to be seen, and. you wanted to be a part of that whole. lifestyle. >> Yeah. It's like a fairy tale, it looks. like, from the outside with all these. beautiful women. And so it's like what. girl wouldn't want to just like pop in. and get like a living space to be around. all these people. When you talk about. these parties like can you like who was. the most famous person you ever saw at a. party? Like give some context like the.

caliber of people were that were at. these places. Well at the time it was. like the biggest movie stars like. Leonardo DiCaprio and Jim Carrey and. Cameron Diaz and people like that. >> Clooney. >> Yeah. Uh, and the crazy thing is like. nobody had like smartphones back then. and you were not allowed to bring. cameras in. If you got caught with a. camera, you'd be immediately kicked out. So people felt comfortable going there. and partying and like Hef had his. personal cameras there and personal. videographers, but people felt. comfortable that they weren't going to. be exposed. So big celebrities felt.

comfortable going and you would just see. all kinds of people there. I don't think. anyone ever in generations moving. forward will ever experience that type. of like anonymity when they walk into a. room at a party. No. like the concept. and I I can imagine like it maybe was. more freeing for a lot of people to know. like you're not going to I literally. wake up the next day sometimes after. parties and I see like I'm tagged in a. video and I'm like oh my god like I. smile like that like or I'm like. breathing that way like what's you can. wake up and in and that kind of world.

it's just so different to think back. like not having cameras like were you. guys at parties did you feel that same. way like very free or were you still. stressed because you were kind of. working in a way? Well, when I was at. just a guest there, it felt very free. and like you were kind of a fly on the. wall and just watching everybody. >> But once we moved in and we're half. friends, you were kind of required to. sit at the table the whole time unless. you had to like run to go to the. bathroom and you could get up and dance. a little bit, but you were kind of like. greeting everybody that came to say hi. to him. So, it wasn't like we definitely.

didn't feel free. I don't think but we. had to get trashed. But. >> we had to stay with an eye shot of Hef. and the area like we couldn't just go. walking around and be like, "Let's go. check this out. Let's go enjoy this. party.". >> Also, like I wonder like did you guys. ever want to not get too drunk cuz like. then would you like do something that. you would be like in the morning like, "Oh, are you going to get in trouble?". Like did you guys ever have to watch. yourselves cuz I'm sure people are doing. drugs and drinking and all the things. Like what was that dynamic?

>> I wasted all the time. But I feel like. for me too, it was part of like a way to. disassociate a little bit just because a. lot of the things that were going on at. the house I wasn't really comfortable. with and that was just kind of like my. escape. But I was trashed all the time. >> Like I was hammered actually. So thank. you. Absolutely not. Was I ever sober? >> Obviously back then like. >> there was such a beauty standard I think. that was like very specific to the. mansion in the Playboy world. Can you. guys talk about that and like what were. you expected to look like?

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is risky. 100% loss can occur. There was. such a beauty standard I think that was. like very specific to the mansion in the. Playboy world. Can you guys talk about. that and like what were you expected to. look like? Well, I think the most. harmful thing was just the thinness. because like eating disorders were. really rampant. Like there was a lot of. bulimia at the mansion to the point. where people would end up in the. hospital sometimes to the point where. like bathroom pipes had to be replaced, which. >> I didn't believe that rumor for a while. because I was like, "No, that's too over. the top. You don't have to replace a.

bathroom pipe because of somebody's. stomach acid." But then somebody. confirmed that that was true. >> Did you guys both experience problems. with like and struggles with eating? I've never had like really an eating. disorder per se, but I used to count. every single calorie and I was really. obsessed with being very very thin and I. definitely experienced body dysmorphia. where I would see footage of myself and. think, "Oh my god, I let myself really. get out of control. This is so. embarrassing." And I look back on that. footage now and I'm like, "Wait, what. was I thinking?". >> Tiny.

>> Yeah. Because back then the beauty. standard was just like, "You had to be. so thin.". >> What about you, Bridgetette? I did not. have an eating disorder, but I look back. at all of the footage from Girls Next. Door and I was really um they tried to. fat shame me basically and they tried to. make me I'm the big girl, the heavy girl. of the group and they tried to shame me. for eating in every way they could. And. I remember noticing it at the time and. and talking to the producer about it and. telling him it really upset me that he.

did that because I felt like I had a. really healthy relationship with food. and exercise and um and was not heavier. than the other girls. But still to this. day, people think that I am the fat one. from the show. >> It's so interesting you say that because. I remember watching the show and I. didn't remember that until you're saying. it. like, "Oh, yeah. I do remember like. the concept of like if you weren't. actually to the point where you looked. sickly, then you were like fat.". Considered fat. We So producers said. that to you to your face.

>> Well, I told him that I didn't. appreciate it and he he just said it's. funny. >> and he thinks it's funny. He thinks it's. a funny gag that he keeps doing to me. >> But you never ended up like succumbing. to that pressure and you like never had. then issues with eating. never had. issues with eating, but I'm always. worried about it. And especially after. that now, now I'm always and people will. come up to me and still be like, oh, you've lost a lot of weight. And I'm. just like, what are you talking about? >> Right? Like, first of all, shut the [ __ ].

up. Don't comment on people's bodies. How about that? And second of all, shut. the [ __ ] up. It's so sad because I think. a lot of what I wanted to talk about. today is like how maybe we have. progressed a little bit in society with. like, but then I'm sitting here and I'm. like, not really. Like I feel like even. especially with like the thinness and. the body dysmorphia for women, it's just. >> social media has made it worse. Like. sure, back then, Playboy, it was like if. you see this magazine, this is what you. should look like. And all the women of. like dye your hair bleach blonde and.

have fake boobs and blah blah blah. And. it was all just to look a certain way. But now I'm like I feel like it's the. same thing with like whether it's like. look like the Kardashians or look like. now like the models. It's like as women, we can never just be like happy with the. way that we look. >> and it's really sad and it's. unfortunate. >> I guess I'm curious since you guys had. such a fixation on the way that you. looked for so long. Like is it still. lingering that when you guys look in the. mirror, you still have those like.

twitches of like making sure you look. perfect? >> 100%. To the point where on the way over. here, I was talking about how cool it. was that Pamela Anderson went to fashion. week in no makeup. And I'm like, I will. never be brave enough to do that, but. I'm glad somebody is like, "Thank God.". >> Right. No, you're so right. >> What about you, Bridget? Like, when. you're just like alone with yourself, looking in the mirror, like, are you. still finding yourself being like almost. like regressing to those days of like. look this way, feel this way? >> Absolutely. Yeah, >> dude. It's something I think about every.

day and multiple times a day. I mean, multiple times on the way over here. >> Yeah. I feel like it's so hard to. deprogram from. Like I would love to say. I've evolved past that, but it would. take a lot longer. >> But I don't even think like I agree with. you guys, but I also don't even think. like of course you guys were in a. situation where it was so overthe-top. and like to the absolute extreme. But I. feel like so many women that are going. to listen to this are going to be like. me too. Like I don't know one woman that.

doesn't have some type of insecurity. because of the way they look. Not. because they actually felt it about. themselves, but because either society. or someone said something to their face. and was like, "You should look this way. or or I don't like that about you.". Like, "Oh, you're fat." Or, "Oh, you're. this." And then it stays with you. It's. like [ __ ] exhausting. >> It really is exhausting. That's the. perfect word for it. >> And if it's not weight, it's age, too. >> Like, >> talk about that. >> Like, you shouldn't be dressing like. that or you should, you know, look your. age or whatever. And I I feel like I am.

looking my age. I'm looking how I want. to look. like this is how I want to. look. >> I did something recently where people. were like, "You're getting too old to. party. Like, this is not cute." And I'm. like, "I want to be [ __ ] 80 in the. nursing home, like ripping shots, like. going out on a bang.". >> And you should like, who cares? If. that's what you want to do, that's what. you should do. >> As we get older, and it's something that. I've thought about a lot of is like I. started the show when I was pretty young. and like it's sad to say this, but I'm. realizing like it is such a privilege to. get older. Like we're all so fortunate.

if we make it to 35, make it to 40, make. it to 50. Like that's a [ __ ]. privilege. And to even see like signs of. life on your body of like wrinkles, like. oh my god, you've lived, you've gone. through [ __ ] But for women. specifically, that's just like once it's. almost like when you hit 30, 35, it's. like, well, you're you're you're out of. your prime, it's over. Like, can you. talk to me about how you guys handle. that? >> Yeah. I mean, that was definitely a. thing at Playboy. feel like the unspoken. cut off age for like a playmate was 28.

Like there would be a few outliers here. and there, but usually like 28 was kind. of like she's 28, you know? And it's. just like I never I never want to put a. limit on myself like that for anything. And I just feel like even being a mom. too, like I have to be really careful. about what I put out there cuz there's. always going to be somebody who's going. to say like I don't want to do anything. to embarrass my kids, but I could just. put out like a bikini picture that I. think is cute and isn't even really. sexy. And there's going to be people I. know weighing in like you need to take.

that down. Like that's inappropriate. And it's also like why are really young. women the only ones who are allowed to. be sexy. Like that's kind of like. >> so true. >> A big eye roll. No, it's actually when. you say that it's so interesting to me. to be like if anything the young women. should like refrain a little bit because. you're getting to know yourself like you. want to like understand yourself before. you're actually just like putting it out. there to the world. Once we hit a. certain age, I'm like I know how to. handle the criticism. I know that like. men aren't [ __ ] that are objectifying. me. It's like we should continue to.

celebrate at every age. It's not just. like our worth stops at a certain age, but it's. >> I could sit here forever and talk about. it. I'm sure it's hard for you and I don't. know if you can talk about this like. obviously we're sitting here talking. about these like prime years. but. >> I'm sure you guys probably would beg to. differ of like that those weren't your. prime years in terms of how you felt. about yourself. >> Not at all. I feel like life just keeps. getting better and that I want it to.

keep getting better and I think that's. the way it should be for everybody. >> Yeah. Wasn't there something about like. people would take Polaroids of you and. then they would grade your Polaroid and. that would like determine what parties. you were allowed to get invited to? >> Yes. >> Can you explain that? >> Well, when you would arrive to a party, if you were a female, they would take a. Polaroid of you and then Heft would go. through all of them after the party and. grade them like A, B, C, or D. D, you're. not invited back. C, you're maybe on the. big party list. B, you're like on all.

the party list like big or small. And. then a you'd get invited to like the. pool parties and stuff like that. >> Dude, was there anyone at the time. between the women that was like, "Guys, this is like kind of [ __ ] up or no?". >> I don't think so because I feel like we. were so engrained in it that that seemed. like like it sounds crazy talking about. it now, but I feel like the graded. polaroids seemed like the least of the. issues to me at the time. Well, I. remember I knew about the Polaroids cuz. obviously I've had them taken of me. before, but I didn't realize the grading.

on them until later. And I remember. being kind of shocked by that and like. oh, they're great. Oh, that's how these. work. >> Bridget's like taking the photo like how. do I look? And then later you're like, "Oh, [ __ ] That was for a grading. system.". >> Yeah. Totally. Totally. Um, when you. just said that, Holly, it made me think. like, okay, if that was like the least. of your worries, can you guys talk to me. about as a woman looking back now with. like hindsight, like what was the. hardest moments that you're like, damn, like that was so [ __ ] up of how.

objectified we were being as women for. our bodies and our looks, and no one. gave a [ __ ] about like what we had in. the inside. >> I mean, I think I mean, there's so many. layers to that. I think for me. personally, when I think about the worst. thing, I just think about like anything. in the bedroom and just the fact that. like anybody would be invited in there. and like we didn't get to agree on who. got to come in and who got to watch and. who got to do whatever and it was just. >> traumatizing. >> Yeah. Oh, I didn't realize. So, he could. invite people in to watch you guys.

>> Well, I mean, I think he wanted. everybody to participate, but sometimes. people wouldn't. And you would get the. feeling with some people they were just. >> look. Yeah, totally. And then some. people would go like blog about it and. I'm like, okay, that's kind of like. revenge porn a little bit. You know what. I mean? >> Not even a little bit, like full [ __ ]. blown. >> Totally. >> What about you, Bridget? Like, what. comes to mind? >> I mean, it definitely has to be the. bedroom. It can't get any worse than. that. But it it also was like this the. Mean Girls era that we like to refer to.

because. >> I just feel like we had no voice during. that whole time. >> It was really hard. >> How did you find your voice when you. left the mansion? I felt like I went. through a couple years of like. deprogramming kind of because when I. left there like obviously I knew it was. [ __ ] up enough that I didn't want to. stay. But after being there for seven. years and being in like the kind of this. cultlike environment where everybody. worships this one person for the longest. time if anybody like press or otherwise. would ask me about it I'd be like, "Oh, everything's great. He's great. Everybody's great." Cuz I mean a I just.

didn't want to like get into it. publicly. I just wasn't ready for that. yet. And I thought that was the nice. thing to do. But looking back, I'm like, I it really took me a couple years to. like deprogram and realize that a lot of. [ __ ] that happened was like [ __ ] up. Like obviously I knew I didn't like it. at the time and I knew I had to leave. after a certain point. But also even you. just saying that like. >> it makes me think about how there's so. many people online that and not even. about you, just like anyone that does.

something that they regret. Even like. women that did porn that they're like, I. look back now and I wish I didn't do. that. People are like, "But you did it.". Like, "You benefited from it. You're. there. Like, you're famous because of. that." Like, >> and mostly it's men saying this of being. like, "Oh, well, you did it." Like, why. are you so upset? Like, it made you who. you are today. Can you talk about how. you also deal with like. that juxtaposition of like, of course, how you felt in that moment. How are you. going to speak up about a man that was. one of the most like highest men in.

power at the time in the world? Everyone. knew this man. Everyone loved this man. everyone wanted to be this man and like. who were you like little Holly Madison. to be like actually this is abuse like. it just wasn't you couldn't have done. that at the time. Um so can you talk to. me a little bit about that of like. seeing those comments about that. situation? >> Yeah, when people say that I mean I just. don't really know what their point is. like. Am I because I have two choices at. this point. I can either lie and say.

everything was great. I got to be on a. TV show because of it. So cool. But I'm. really, if I were to do that, it'd be. perpetuating a lifestyle that didn't. make me happy and a relationship that. didn't make me happy and something I. would never recommend for anybody else. Like, who cares if I was on a reality. show because of it. Like, anything I've. got to do since then, it's cuz I know. how to [ __ ] make lemonade out of. lemons. And everybody just wants to act. like he handed me every little thing. I've done since. And that's just not the. case. >> True. Bridget, what about you when you. left? Like, what was that like repairing.

your self-image and and who you were. independent of the mansion? I think I'm. still working on that. I don't think. I've done that yet. >> Um I did I kind of left and still did. beaches, my beaches show for the Travel. Channel and um still kind of hosted and. I just sort of put it all behind me. I. didn't really like um look back into it. much at all or anything like that. I. felt like I didn't for a second either. because when you leave the mansion, you. realize, [ __ ] okay, I have had a. platform from being on a reality show,

so I need to hit the ground running now. if I'm going to like survive. So, you're. in survival mode. You're not thinking. about going back. Like, it wasn't until. a good couple years after I left, I was. looking through that Girls Next Door. coffee table book we did that had all. these candid shots of us because I was. trying to find a certain picture and I. looked at myself and I'm like, "Holy. [ __ ] I'm fake smiling in all these. pictures." Like maybe not everybody else. could recognize that, >> but I did and I was like, >> "Wow.". >> I noticed, Bridget, like you got a. little emotional when you just said.

that. >> Well, I think doing this, not this. podcast, but our Holly and I's podcast. um is helping me like look back on some. of the things and some of the things. that I forgotten about. >> and um and then I also started writing a. book, too. And that's kind of opened. some things up. And I'm so I feel like. I'm just now in that area, >> but I don't think I did it before. Yeah. >> Can you talk to me a little about that? Like how does it make you feel? >> It's it's a it's a roller coaster ride. cuz like there's when we first started. it was it was emotional and it was bad.

And I told Holly when she first asked me. if I wanted to do this podcast of. recapping the show. I was like, "Oh. yeah, like I have great memories. Like. everything's good. I have nothing bad to. say. Like we're going to be like the the. you're going to be like all Yeah, that. was an awful time." And I'll be like, "It was great. It was amazing." And it. is. That is sort of how it is still. My. my recollection of everything is um or. my experience that I had with things was. a little bit more positive than what. Holly had. Not that there wasn't. negative things, but like generally more.

positive. Um but we started watching the. episodes and I told her, "I can't do. this.". >> Yeah. We were ready to quit after like. episode two. I was like, "Oh my god, I. totally put this completely out of my. head that they they did this to us to me. in a particular episode and I don't even. know how I can address this." Like the I. have there's nothing I can even say to. try and redeem myself out of this.

>> What was the situation? >> It was episode two. So, season one, episode two. It was supposedly our um. our episodes. Holly was supposedly. episode one. when I was episode two and. Kendra's episode 3 and um episode two. and it has me trying to get the. playmates drunk and talking about how. jealous I am that they get to get it and. I don't and I'm sabotaging them and. stuff which was not. >> never happened. >> true but they show it they cut it like. I'm ordering them shots and making all. these girls that are just there testing.

do all these shots to ruin their their. test the next day and I'm just like how. am I even supposed to like defend myself. on this when it looks like that's what. I'm doing and that's how I feel. >> I'm so sorry. And I that's something. that's so weird about podcasting which. I'm like happy sad for you guys because. like you said you're doing a rewatch. podcast and it's it almost makes you. have therapy sessions every week, right? Where you're like I think so. Yeah.

>> Like [ __ ] Holly. Like we went through. that. We did that. And again, you guys. knowing, which must be kind of. cathartic, but also kind of [ __ ] up to. be like, "Wait, pause. That's not how it. went down. That's not what happened.". Let's talk about sexuality a little bit. When did you guys ever first start. masturbating? >> Call Her Daddy is brought to you by. Ashley. If you went through my camera. roll right now, you would find about a. thousand photos of Henry and Bruce and. about a thousand screenshots every time. I'm scrolling and see a gorgeous living.

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orders, and see what you guys are loving. from literally anywhere I am. So, ready. to add entrepreneur to your list of. accomplishments? Head to shopify.com/daddy. That's shopify.com/daddy. >> When did you guys ever first start. masturbating? Or even if you do or. don't, I don't know. >> Oh, like when I was young. Like I always. functioned I feel in a healthy way. sexually like from high school onward.

>> Yeah. >> But I just I don't know if it was like I. wasn't emotionally ready to deal with a. relationship or the possibility of. getting feeling attached to somebody. through sex. It's such a weird time when. you're younger cuz you're like that. didn't feel good when I had sex with. him. And then you're like, if you start. masturbating, you're like, "Oh, I think. this is nice." But also like, "Oh my. god, don't let anyone know or else I'm. going to [ __ ] hell." And then it's. like, when you start having sex at that. age, like it's really not about finding. pleasure for yourself. Like it is still.

about the man. It's like, did he get. off? And there's like just so many weird. things that come with that that it's. just like it [ __ ] with your head. >> Can I say one more thing about the. masturbation before you move? >> Please come back. Come back. I will say. that that is one positive thing for me. that came out of the mansion in the. upstairs bedroom thing is that um that. became very normalized. >> Oh, >> with the Mr. Hitachi. >> Yeah. Just like people would just like. usually like roll over with their. vibrator. >> Wait, stop. >> Yes. >> There was a bunch of vibrators who were.

like. >> Sorry, let me let me explain the scene. really quick. >> I'm like, wait, Bridget, what's the Mr. Hitachi with the. >> Okay, there's there's a vibrator called. Mr. Hitachi. >> Okay. Is it called Mr. Hitachi? I don't. know what it was. >> Hitachi. Oh, maybe I call him Mr. Hitachi. >> This was the man in my life for seven. years while I was at the mansion. Okay, this is what got me off. >> But I'm just like um so we have those at. the mansion. >> Dying. >> And um I'm just going to say that was.

like amazing and that opened my eyes to. what could happen. And um I still have. Mr. Hatachi today. I think we like asked. for them for stocking stuffers one year. >> We did cuz they're incredible. If you. don't have one, get on Amazon right now. Wait, what kind? >> But you have to order it from the. Hitachi site because Amazon sells. knockoffs that break. >> Oh, no. What is it? Fireware. >> It's a giant thing. It's like a. jackhammer and it's quite. >> Oh, that big thing on the end.

>> Yeah. It almost looks like a microphone. >> Yes. Yes. >> And it's for backs and stuff, too, supposedly, you know. That's what they. they say, but everybody knows what. that's for. >> I actually was gifted one and I remember. trying to use it. It's like that is like. an arm workout. It's like kind of really. heavy. Get used to it. >> Oh, okay. >> It's like, do you see these guns, [ __ ]. >> Show you something. >> Um, okay. So, you're saying. you're saying, which actually I can.

understand, I guess, like at that age, you're clearly not getting off because. of him in the room laying in the bed. He's like [ __ ] about to. >> I'm not allowed to date, >> right? So you're like my best friend is. my vibrator. >> And there was a long period where there. was no bedroom anymore either. So there. was like 3 years or four years or. something like that where there was. we're not allowed to date and there is. no bedroom. So it's like. >> Mr. Hotach. >> Oh my god, I love that. I'm like now. every that's going to go on sale. It's a.

graphic of like a stocking like a. Christmas. >> Nope. Literally, Bridget, get that coin, [ __ ] Let's go. Um, that's so funny. And so, you literally would just be. like, "Okay, [ __ ] this." Like, I'm going. to roll over and like And then you ended. up really leaning into being able to. like, "Okay, I can masturbate and get. myself off. This doesn't have to be full. hell.". >> Yeah. And it didn't make me feel so. embarrassed about it either. Like, I. felt very It. >> It made me feel like this is a natural. thing that we we should be doing. >> Yeah. without getting like too graphic.

because like when whatever you guys are. comfortable with, I have a lot of a lot. of women write in of just like being in. situations that you're not comfortable, but not knowing how to speak up for. yourself and basically being kind of. pressured into doing something that you. almost can't even comprehend until you. have time away from it. Bridget and. Holly, talk to me about just like those. moments that like as a woman, you didn't. know you were expected to have sex with. this man or do all of this like mentally. as young women. Where were you at in.

just this experience with this situation. sexually? I feel like I was just so in. over my head and so drunk that first. night. And like it's not like I didn't. know that sex was going to go on. upstairs, but I thought, well, this is. my first time out with them. Who has sex. on the first date? I'll just go up and. like see what's going on. But I was. super wasted and you know, [ __ ] just. happened. >> for me. I full on knew that that was. going to be expected. But I too thought, well, the first night though, like.

surely I can just be like, "Oh, it's the. first night and like get out of this.". And I didn't even want to go upstairs. the first night. But then I was. pressured by another girl who said, "If. you ever want to be invited out again, you better get your ass upstairs.". >> Wow. >> Yeah. There was another girl who we call. the recruiter and there were different. people who like functioned as the. recruiter over the years. And it's just. interesting how these men who victimize. other women often have like a woman like. a Galileain Maxwell type that will go. out and get the other girls and make. them feel comfortable or pressure them.

Harvey Weinstein had people like that. too. It's like they make you feel like. you actually have no choice and it's. like woman towoman like let's go, let's. do this. and you're kind of like I I I I. guess it's almost like the biggest bully. that like leads the charge that if you. say no, you're completely done and it's. like you don't have a minute to think. for yourself. When you say you knew you. had to do these things, did like girls. say that to you? >> Well, I had been hanging out long enough. that I knew what was going on up there. and I'd heard all kinds of rumors of. what happened in the limo. And when he.

asked me the first time to come out, I. said, "Oh, I've heard what happened. and I don't want to do that." And he was. like, "Oh." and he just like laughed it. off and was not offended by that. >> Yeah. >> So, I knew I knew that that was going to. be expected of me. Um, and I I put a lot. of thought into that because it wasn't. something that. >> like I I wasn't promiscuous. I didn't. have like a lot of people that I had. been with. That wasn't something I was. like excited to be doing. >> Can you talk to me, Bridget, about like. after that first night, what what were.

you going through? torture in my own. head that very next morning. Like I felt. ashamed. I felt disgusting. I felt like. I really let myself down. Um. I felt really lonely and I'm in a house. where there's like a lot of people, but. I'm like, "Oh no, I feel so lonely and. feel so gross and I have to get out of. here. Like I have to get out of here. right now.". >> And then what happened? >> Then I went I still had an apartment.

Like I wasn't living at the mansion yet. And um I went back to my apartment and. then that night that afternoon. the um mansion like the social. secretaries called and said he wants you. to meet tomorrow and go or tonight and. go to um the Craig Kilborn show with him. and all his girlfriends. He's going to. be on it and wants you to do that. And. it's like all of a sudden it's like kind. of exciting again. Wait, he they want me. to go to the Craig Kilborn show? Like. what? And so then I go on the CR and.

then not only are am I going to like sit. in the audience with He and everybody, but they have all of us girls shooting a. skit backstage and and the thing we have. to do is go, "Hi, I'm He's girlfriend.". And the next person says, "Hi, I'm Hef's. girlfriend. Hi, I'm He's girlfriend.". That was the skit. Like not a big deal. or anything, but like all of a sudden. you feel like you're a part of this. >> this thing, you know? >> That's so interesting, too, to be like. leaving in a moment. for women. And I think that's the most. annoying when people are like, "Well, then why did you go back?

>> Why did you go back?" Like, I feel like. that's such a common thing, whether it. was an abusive situation where it's. like, "Why didn't you leave? Why didn't. you go back?" That's so common, not just. even to this situation, which I. appreciate you guys talking about this. cuz it's a larger conversation for women. of like, "Why didn't you leave? Why did. you go back?". Talk to me about that of how like. explaining to people that are [ __ ]. idiots that don't get it. It's like it's. not that simple. Like clearly you had. this like oh my god there's this feeling. of this man is so much there's power and. there's things that come with this but. the sexual aspect of it like did you.

ever become okay with it? Did you just. disassociate? >> Well now it's the point where I've done. it now. >> So like now if I leave and I just throw. this all away now like I did it all for. nothing. >> And you feel like everybody knows right. cuz that's kind of your social circle. too. Like I felt like my two roommates. had like moved away and right before I. moved in like this mansion community. It. was a place I like every Sunday for the. poolies and I felt like oh [ __ ] I just. went upstairs and had sex like they're.

all going to talk like they're all going. to know so I might as well get what I. came here for. >> you know. Can you guys talk to me a. little bit about that of like because I. it is sadly so relatable Bridget of like. what you guys are saying of like I. already did it like it's even I think. when women are in a situation that's. like well now he's hit me twice but like. he's not going to do it again and then. when it happens again you're like but. that's the last time like you. rationalize in your mind cuz you're kind. of trying to survive through this [ __ ]. once you just kind of threw yourself. into that world. Did you guys ever have.

moments by yourself in those rooms to be. like what what is happening? Who am I? Like, am I losing myself? >> We would definitely vent to each other. about certain things, but a lot of it I. feel like was deflected for a couple. years because there were seven. girlfriends. A lot of them we didn't get. along with. There was a lot of bullying. and things like that. And I didn't. recognize it at the time, but looking. back, I feel like he kind of like. encouraged that and kind of It's like. you keep people, >> it's like divide and conquer. Like you. keep like two sides divided. Then we. can't all meet up and be like, "You know.

what? we should see if he'll like give. us extra money for this or else we're. not going into the bedroom. Like he. doesn't want that happening. >> I'm curious to know because obviously. like you guys experienced one of the. biggest. Like what do you guys think. drives controlling men? >> Insecurity. >> Like you would look at someone like him. and think he has no reason to be. insecure. He's so successful. He has so. many women around him. He throws the. best parties. But that man was so. insecure.

It was insane. I think he was really. afraid of dying alone. >> Yeah. So he's like, "I'm going to have. 10 girlfriends at all times so I'm not. alone." Wow. >> Or being a And not even just dying. alone, but just being alone at all. Like. if somebody He didn't even want to let. us to go home for the holidays. >> So, and he at some points he had like. over seven girlfriends, >> right? You're like, "Bro, also like we. barely talk. Like let's keep it like. come on." Like when after you guys got. out of there, like did you find.

yourselves like talk to me about your. dating patterns? Like after that, did. you have like an aversion to like men in. positions of power? Did were you still. attracted to men? Like what was your. what was your type essentially? >> Well, for me, I went straight into. another relationship that mirrored the. Playboy relationship in some ways and. got out of that very quickly. And that. was kind of like a gift in a way that it. showed me that this is a pattern. And. this isn't just anomaly behavior because. this man was in a position. This is.

something that any man can do if he. wants to. So luckily I was shown that. very quickly and realized what I didn't. want. And then I just dated kind of. casually for a couple years and then I. met the man that I married and had kids. with and I'm divorced now but I'm in. another relationship that I've been in. for four years. So. >> amazing. Amazing. Can you talk because. I'm sure a lot of girls are listening. being like wait Holly like what can we. look out for? Like not even just talking. about he like what are some things even. in that next relationship that like when. you look at someone that is controlling.

like that like what are things that. maybe in the moment you're like is that. a red flag but you can kind of sweep. under the rug? Like what's something. that you now are like don't let this. happen, don't let this happen and don't. let this happen. >> I think the first sign is definitely. moving too fast or you know what people. call love bombing. Like I remember after. I went out with Heff and the girls the. first time, he called me to invite me. out the next time and he said, "I love. you." And I remember thinking, "Haha, that's funny, but that's how he. operates." Like he wants people to feel.

like emotionally comfortable and like, "Oh, this is romantic and you're special. and you're so mature for your age and. all that BS." or like if somebody wants. you to move in with them right away or. you know starting to like insert little. controlling behaviors, they might give. excuses for it or they might try and act. like it's in your best interest or. >> don't go do that show. I'll set you up. with a better show. I mean, >> stop. >> Yeah. >> Or make you feel bad for wanting to go. see your family or whatever and wanting. you to spend it with them. But they make. it seem like it's romantic, like, well, I want to spend it with you. I want you.

here with me and stuff, but it's really. they don't want you to go see your. family. That's so interesting, too, which I I know it's probably so hard. again when you're in it, but you're so. right. It's like if you write it down on. a piece of paper, like what are they. telling you that they want to spend the. holiday with you, but what is actually. like physically happening? I'm not. allowed to see my family because of. this. Like, and you're so right, Holly. It's like the way that they twist it. I. feel like I've heard so much of like. when men are controlling of like what. you wear and it's more like I just I. want you to respect yourself. like I I.

I'm looking out for you and it's like. the [ __ ] like you're just you're. actually telling me what I can and. cannot wear, but they pose it as like I. I just want like people to respect you. and like I want you to like not look. like a [ __ ] And you're literally like. huh? Like they twist it so it's like. you're right like they're looking out. for you, but really it's they're looking. out for you to put you more in their. thumb and just shove you down. So it's. like every move you almost question and. keep looking at them. Mhm. >> Bridget, did you end up going and dating. someone similar or did you. >> No, I met somebody right out of the.

gate, out of the mansion. I mean, he I. met him at the mansion, actually. Yeah. And um we've been together for 15 years. ever since. >> Girl, >> oh my god. Call Her Daddy is brought to. you by Tinder. Ladies, you know how it. goes. When your best friend matches with. someone new, you're basically. you're dating them, too. You are. crafting the text before she sends it. You are picking the outfit for the first. date. And obviously, you are getting the. full recap afterwards. And now with.

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>> Um, I don't know. I guess I don't really. believe in love at first sight or. anything like that, but I definitely. thought he was so hot at first sight. >> Love that. >> It had to be a little bit of a a slow. burn because I wasn't allowed to date, but yet I thought he was really hot and. he was a director. So, I was producing a. horror movie and I was looking for. directors and so it started with like. just some text like actual emails like. business-wise and and working together. like that. And then as soon as I knew my.

foot was like it wasn't even fully out. of the door, but it was like reaching. over the threshold, we were like dating. >> Oh my god. Your relationship to men. I. feel like it's really difficult as women. when you're wronged by so many men and. like treated the way that you were and. spoken to the way that you were. Like is. there like how did how did you like how. do you feel about men in general and. like the world and like obviously it's. not all men but like it's [ __ ] hard.

to like go through what you guys went. through and be like men are amazing. Like how do how did when once you left. the mansion and you actually started to. have hindsight of like what the [ __ ]. happened there? Like how do you feel. about men? >> I mean I feel like I'm lucky I've had. experience with with good men as well. And I think it's just you know I'm 44. now and I kind of like don't give as. much of a [ __ ] about like what other. people think. So I'm able to speak up. for myself more and if somebody's doing. something that I think is based in. sexism, I'll just like say it and like I.

don't care. >> Yeah. Yeah. I [ __ ] love that. Yeah. What about you, Bridget? >> I go through phases. It depends on my. mood, I think. Like, I know I'm with a. really good guy and um. >> but there's some things that happen. sometimes and I can't even think of a. specific example at the moment, but like. something will happen and I'll be like, I I [ __ ] hate men. Like I like Jesus. And then and then my boyfriend will be. or my husband will be like, "Oh, you. know what? >> They're not all that." And I'm like, "Oh, yeah, you're right.". >> Right. He's like, "Uh babe, like love.

you." And you're like, "Oh, wait. Yeah, I think it's important to just. acknowledge and talk about because I. think the hatred can be real and it's. and it's justifiable and it and it. >> it makes me upset where like I know for. so long even with like the feminist. movement people were like, "Oh god, like. you're just a man hater." It's not that. It's like when you've been so wronged by. men who historically white heterero men. in positions of power, like it's just. abuse all [ __ ] day. And of course,

we're not saying that there aren't good. ones, but when you've been at the hands. of someone that is so [ __ ] disturbed. in how they abuse their power, it must. be hard to like trust people of like. what are I definitely have like trust. issues. Like it takes a minute. >> Talk to me about that. >> I mean, I just takes me like a really. long time. Like in my last couple of. relationships, I moved pretty slow just. cuz I really wanted to get to know. people. And I would even talk with my. friends who've also been in toxic. relationships and we came up with a. thing like how long does it take for a.

guy to show his toxicity? Because they. always act real cool in the beginning. We decided like it's usually like three. to six months. >> Uhhuh. >> So I'm real careful the first 6 months. >> They're like should I sleep over? You're. like at the sixmon mark maybe. But until. then keep your [ __ ] distance. That's. so true. It kind of is that 3 to six. >> It really is. And it's crazy looking. back to think that like you could even. get into a relationship where you're. like straight up living with somebody. and feeling dependent on them within 3. months. But it happens all the time. And.

again, like we're still programmed. It's. we're still like all of us are born with. internalized misogyny. Like we're born. into this world and it's like men rule. women like it's still that way. Like. we're having to unlearn it. So, I think. there's those natural things when a man. makes you feel taken care of and when a. man does certain things for you, you. can't help but be like, "Huh?" And it's. like, I do think we're getting better. now where it's like, "No, ladies. Ladies, no." Like, if anything, if. you're feeling too good at the first. like couple dates, just pause. Because.

if it's actually that good and he's. actually that amazing, he can wait and. it will happen. But I think sometimes. that pressure feeling, it's hard to. describe cuz you're like, is it. excitement or do I feel like pressure to. like do these things with him? Um, and. it's hard to discern like what is it. healthy? Is it toxic? Like what's the. situation? Um, but yeah, I I appreciate. you be like saying that, Bridget, of. just like some days I [ __ ]. >> I mean, little things will set me off. like somebody's tone, the way they talk.

to me and stuff or a guy will tell me to. smile, which sends me. >> sends me. >> like give me a pretty smile and you're. like, "Oh, shut the [ __ ] up." Like. literally just shut up. >> Like things like that happening. I'm. just like, I hate men. Can you give. advice to girls that maybe are sitting. there being like, "Am I in one of those. situations right now?" Like, how do you. get out? How do you actually leave. something like that that's so. all-consuming and suffocating? >> I think first like making a plan for.

yourself on what you're going to do. because oftentimes when people are stuck. in these relationships, there's a. financial element. And a lot when people. want to criticize and be like, "Well, why didn't you leave?" Nobody says that. to somebody when it's a job. Like if. somebody has a sucky boss or a toxic. work environment, they might complain. about it for days, but you understand. why they're there cuz they need the. paycheck. But if you're in a. relationship or a living situation where. there's some kind of financial. component, people like, "Well, why don't. you just [ __ ] leave, you know?". >> Such a good point. >> Yeah, it's stupid. >> And I do think that's a good point that. you said of like a lot of the times also. the reason to that's it's hard to get.

out of something is because you can't. you don't tell anyone. >> So like it you can't confide in people. the person that you talk to the most is. the person that's basically abusing you. >> and so you're like where do I go now. >> and they oftentimes want to isolate you. I think the best thing is coming up with. a plan like what are you going to do for. work? Where are you going to go? Who's. your support system? >> Saving money. >> Yeah. What do you guys think is like the. biggest misconception about you as like. former playmates? Like what do you think. is that something that like maybe.

frustrates you? >> That we're one-dimensional. I think. >> unintelligent. >> Yeah. Bimbos. I said that at the start. of the show and I'm still saying that 20. years later. People think we're bimbos. If you're blonde and have big boobs and. we're in Playboy, you're clearly not. very smart. >> What do you say to those people? >> I feel like I'm just tired of defending. it. I feel like I've proved myself. I. have a master's degree. Like, we have a. successful podcast. We've had successful. careers. I mean, what more do you want? >> Yeah. Yeah.

>> People are always going to say that. The. fact that I like pink, the fact that I. like Barbies, the fact that I love. Halloween, all of that is like belittled. and like you can't be intelligent and. like those things too. >> It's so true. It's like if you are just. like a beautiful woman that people like. to look to like look at, sometimes. you're just reduced to your looks and. it's like there's no way that she's. smart. There's no way that they have. brains. Like there's no way. And it's. like you got to where you are today for. a reason and you guys have such a. successful business that you like you.

said Holly like you've created something. of yourself and it has nothing to do. with him. Like he's [ __ ] dead and. you're like you're still cranking and. you've got your businesses and you're. going and like that was so long ago. I. do understand why people are fascinated. by it and I'm sure you guys do at this. point too just because it's such like a. world people can't fathom. But I do. think there's a lot of themes today that. we've been talking about that's like it. is kind of relatable. It is women. feeling like well maybe if I just do it. and get my foot in the door then maybe.

I'll get taken seriously and and okay. maybe that made me feel uncomfortable. but like next time I'm going to I'm. going to do it a little bit differently. and then you get in the situation and. you forget how powerful these people are. and it just makes you feel like okay but. next time like even you said Bridget. you're like I went home I felt like [ __ ]. I felt disgusting but then I got the. call and it's like it's hard to explain. when you're in it. What would you tell. your younger self now where you're at. just through life? Like we know as women. we go through a lot. You guys have been. through relationships and experiences.

like young Holly, young Bridget, like. now where you're at in your life. What. would you guys tell yourselves at that. young age? >> Don't be so hard on yourself. I mean, it's easy for me to say now because I. know like everything turned out fine, but I would go back and be like, don't. be so miserable. Don't be so hard on. yourself. It's not the end of the world, you know? >> Love it. Yeah, things do work out. >> Like because there were times where I. didn't think it was going to. Yeah, >> there was times where I was like, I have. to have a plan B now. >> I don't think there I don't think I'm.

going to be here tomorrow kind of a. thing. It it's we're all our own worst. enemies. Um, but I can't thank you guys. enough for coming because I feel like. there's so many themes that now and I'm. sure you guys are talking about on your. show that like it's relatable what you. guys have been through and it's taking a. different form in every generation, but. like it's still happening. >> Yeah, I think so too, >> right? Definitely still happening. Like. I don't know if you guys thought for a. while did you guys feel like you were. just like in this own bubble of like we. no one can relate and now do you guys.

kind of feel like you're like seeing. like [ __ ] this is like kind of what a. lot of women go through? >> Absolutely. I remember when we were at. the mansion I didn't feel like I was. necessarily setting a bad example by. being there being on TV cuz I'm like. well this couldn't happen anywhere else. Like I know this situation sucks for me. in a lot of ways but it doesn't happen. anywhere else. But it does happen a lot. of other places. Like there were even. other places in LA they would call them. like mini mansions where like there. would be guys that kind of like behaved. in the same way he did and had women.

there and stuff and I we heard a lot of. crazy bad stories about those places too. >> and every time we watch an episode for a. podcast I think of some kind of issue. that's relatable to people. >> Yeah. Even you saying that I'm like. promoters. I remember in college like I. didn't want to hook up with this one guy. but like he was getting all of my. friends and I into this place and I'm. just like in his car and I'm like okay. and like he's like kind of pressuring me. and I'm like I don't know what to say. and it's like it's difficult but it's.

see like you see it everywhere. It's. like. >> when you don't have independence and. financial stability, like it is such a. [ __ ] privilege to be financially. stable because when you're not, it is. [ __ ] hard to look at someone and turn. something down. That is although again, you get that weird gut feeling of like I. don't want to do this. The the reward of. like what you could get to cuz we're not. thinking about the moment. We're like, well, will I meet the people in the. room? Could I get the job from this? Like it's like you said, it's the Harvey. Weinstein [ __ ].

threatening my whole [ __ ] career, so. I guess I have to sleep with this man or. Hollywood is never going to give me. another job. Like, it's never in the. moment that you're actually having. you're thinking past it. And that's what. I think is lost on people is like. >> we as women aren't just making these. decisions of like, >> okay, this seems cool in the moment. No, it's like there's a plan that you have. to think of of like surviving in your. head. And I and I don't appreciate that. people can't be that. like they just are. so dense that they're like, "Well, you. just wanted to have sex with an old. man." It's like,

>> it's so much more complex than that. Like, but there are guys that would say. that in comments of like, "Oh, like. what? You're complaining now." And it's. like that's just not the case. So, I. appreciate you guys coming on. you both. are like you're you're so inspirational. and I I'm just like excited to continue. to see what you guys do because although. you're like. >> what you popped off originally on, it's. so cool to see you guys continue to. build your brands and like talk about. things that are really important. And. everyone, please go listen to the.

podcast because it is so [ __ ] good. >> Thank you. >> Thank you, ladies. Thank you.