Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (Full Episode)

[Music]. what is up daddy gang it is your. Founding Father Alex Cooper with call. her. daddy are we ready when is the last time. you did an interview oh my God not ever. face to face I don't think I've ever. done an interview face to face okay well. let's start Emma Chamberlain hi Alex. koopy welcome to call her daddy koopy oh. my God we're on like um nickname terms. Emma welcome to call her Daddy thank you. so much so my first question for you is.

you don't do interviews yeah why are you. here okay well number one Alex yes I'm a. big fan like I've I've been a big fan of. you forever I don't know how like I wish. I knew my Discovery story of you the. clock clock honestly you're like don't. don't drag me like that I did let me. tell you like I I found you and things. were very sexual and I learned a lot wow. that makes me so happy yeah so like. that's how I found you I think I I was.

really just like looking. for advice on how to be crazy but then. like in turn I fell in love with you oh. my God so we're just this is a big Love. Fest talk about how we're in love with. each other I know call her Dy is brought. to you by Tinder dating app culture has. gotten so complicated I feel like every. week I hear about a new app with new. rules it's time to just go back to Our. Roots you guys Tinder is back and it's. easier than ever to put yourself out.

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show on by myself and I was starting to. have guests on and I remember my agent. was like do you want to meet with Emma. Chamberlain and I'm like absolutely sure. we get on Zoom and we zoomed for like an. hour and a half and we wouldn't shut the. [ __ ] up and we won't talk about what we. were talking about because it was like. our publicist just kept being like this. is off the record this is off the record. this is off the Record Emma don't tell. her that I'm like I'm not going to go. say anything but so we just start. talking but it was a weird moment cuz I. think my brand was still very sexual so.

we said we were going to potentially. have like a collaboration you were going. to come on it never ended up happening. it just wasn't the right time then the. next time we saw each other was New York. Fashion Week I I think that that's what. really like I was like I don't even care. what we talk about like I need to do. this because we just clicked so well and. we just like talked about so much random. [ __ ] and like we just clicked so well. yeah we were it it was kind of funny. because we were to give people again. context it was like a 10p person dinner.

party and Emma and I are in the corner. while I was eating bread you weren't cuz. you're about to go to the Met Gala I'm. like getting a facial done and getting. my toes done while I'm at the table and. we just were talking by ourselves the. entire time just about like life and the. industry and how it's affected us and it. was like I think that was when we were. like maybe we are eventually now ready. to sit down and just Converse because. both of our brands have evolved. absolutely and it's time well I think it. was one of those things where you know.

I have been on the internet for so long. that people know me as a teenager yes. and I'm 20 I'm about to be 21 which is. still literally like a child like I. still am like pre pubescent like I know. I'm 21 but whatever or almost 21 but. I've been really trying to. grow like in the public eye in a way. because I'm I I. can't stay a teenager in everybody's. mind forever but I think I needed to do. some of that work on my own before I.

came on here and was like let's talk. about big girl stuff you're like so the. Gluck luck and I'm like first time I. tried the glockl a year ago and you guys. won't believe what happened impeccable. result true impecable I almost got. married six times no that is helpful to. hear you say and we're going to get into. that like the evolution of you and then. the evolution also of your brand cuz. those are two different things and I. think as creators like in a great way I. think people have started to kind of.

peel back the layer and show people on. the internet like what it is like to. have an online Persona versus like what. is actually who you are vers that. Persona. absolutely here we go just like I. usually do in every callor daddy episode. we're going all the way back okay all. the way back where did you grow up so I. grew up in San Bruno California which is. actually where YouTube headquarters is. which is ironic a little bit of. foreshadowing I grew up with my parents. I was an only child.

and when I was five we're like already. getting into my trauma no um when I was. five my parents got divorced and my mom. moved like 20 minutes away from my dad. and that was actually not a super bad. experience cuz I was so young that I. just didn't really know any better I was. definitely a really bored kid cuz I was. an only child and like my parents were. both like fully working parents and so I. had a lot of time by myself and I was. very bored a lot of the time which I. think is.

good in retrospect I think it was good. because it made me a lot more Curious I. would say because I didn't have a lot of. distractions you know it's the Silicon. Valley it's a big Tech area and a lot of. kids there are super smart and there's. this crazy pressure to go to a really. good college especially Stanford is like. you know the big school there that. everybody tries to go to and there's. also a lot of wealthy families too and. like so a lot of people assume that if.

you live there you're wealthy but that. was not the case for me and my family at. all but a lot of people there are very. wealthy there's like a very big gap I. would say between it's like very very. very wealthy and then like very like. lower middle class and like definitely. an in between for sure but not as much. an in between it felt like there was a. very Stark. difference but I I you know my dad's an. artist so like I felt more on the you. know lower middle class of it which was.

tough but yeah did you feel like your. family like didn't fit in for sure we're. living in a one bedroom apartment and. all my friends at school are living in. these massive Mansions it was tough. socially I would say I didn't want to. have people over that's for sure so your. parents are in some of your content they. seem very chill how do you describe your. parents so we'll start with my dad my. dad is. very open-minded. and creative but also very wise Dad this.

is you know this boy is the love of my. life and he's like Emma that dude's a. the that's the worst dude I've ever met. like he's like really I'm like Dad what. the [ __ ] know like he's incredible dad. I'm like but he's so hot dad what are. you talking about no but he like he's. very open-minded and very sweet and very. like creative and you know not super. controlling or super pushy or anything. like that but he also is opinionated. because he has a lot of knowledge and.

wisdom about things so. he's not sweet and in Creative in the. way that makes him a pushover he'll tell. me what he thinks but he also gives me. the freedom to like make the mistakes. and he's always done that so and he. never judges me but a very very cool man. the coolest person I know I mean he like. paints paintings and surfs every day and. like that's his job is painting. paintings and selling them and like. started making YouTube videos before I.

did like he's very cool right my mom. is how do I describe my mom she's like. one of the girls you know what I mean. she's. very lovable I tell her everything like. everything and I have no hesitation like. she knows everything I've ever done in. my whole life got it um so I'm very very. close with her but we're we're more like. sisters I would say like you know we. used to butt heads a lot when I was. growing up and you know because she's.

picky she's very like likes to keep the. house clean and likes to have things. folded a certain way and she's very. particular about things like that very. meticulous woman about everything that. she does which is a very admirable. quality but when you're growing up and. you know you don't know how to fold a. blanket properly like it can cause some. problems absolutely but no we at the end. of the day we're very close and even. when we do fight like literal sisters. like she's always there yeah I I'm. really lucky that you know my parents.

have always been. very not like traditional parents like. they're very sibling likee okay and I. think it's because they didn't even. consider themselves to be the type to be. parents ever and so they had me because. they wanted to but they were like we. don't fit the parent mold so we're just. going to do it in our own way and it's. been great I know you said like it you. didn't know any different but do you now. looking back like how did your parents.

divorce affect you well you know I think. in one in one way and this is no one's. fault right like I'm grateful for their. divorce and I'll say that before I like. go in and you know it was number one. what was best for them and for their. happiness number two like I never saw. them fight I never saw them. argue they divorced before it could ever. become traumatizing in that way for me. and that that's really mature and also.

they're still friends and they talk all. the time I mean I'm really lucky in that. way too like they get along great like. they talk all the time and and they're. so supportive of one another so it it's. not been a negative thing in that way. but I will say that for one not having a. relationship to look up to when you're. growing. up does become a little bit jarring when. you're older and you're like okay I'm in. my first relationship what is this.

supposed to look like I don't know I've. never seen it did you wish you had had. siblings you know no because again like. my relationship with my parents was so. close because it wasn't there was. nothing in the way of it right like each. parent was not in the way of my. relationship with the other parent and. also I didn't have a sibling in the way. of my relationship with my parents and. listen I think it could have been really. fun to have a sibling I don't know I'll. never know right but I liked the.

friendship I was able to develop with my. parents in the closeness and I don't. think I would have had that if I had a. sibling what do you remember about. signing up for your first social media. account I had two older cousins well I. have two older cousins they're three. years older than me and they were like. my Idols you know growing up and they. got Snapchat and they're like Emma babe. it's time to download Snapchat on the. iPod touch and and I was like you got it.

girls let's go and so I downloaded. Snapchat and you know we would just send. each other silly stuff back and forth um. pretty soon after that Instagram came. out and I was like all right here we go. so I downloaded that too I think my. cousins told me to download that too and. my first post was a picture of a mini. bag of Cheez itss with like some crazy. ass filter on top of it and I think my. caption was something like crunchy yum. like what the [ __ ] back to like the.

first like couple like the first year of. Instagram we would have like borders on. our photos and like disgusting filters. and yes you would take a picture of like. your shoe or like an extension cord and. be like life's long and then you're like. what am I saying dumb [ __ ] so weird like. I would I would do anything to be able. to find my old Instagram I don't know if. I would no I would I'm like traumatized. I'm like what the [ __ ] was I posting cuz. I was like a little old and I was like. trying to be cool like with the cute.

selfies and those were not cute selfies. those were scary and spooky what did. your did your parents have any rules or. guidelines when you like first started. on Snapchat and Instagram or did they. just kind of let you do whatever you. wanted. honestly they didn't care okay like. really just never brought it up like. they didn't care cuz were you getting in. trouble as a kid like were you a good. kid or I was a really good kid kid I had.

because of my anxiety as a kid I think I. had a really strong. conscience which is good you know what I. mean I. never did anything bad without my. parents finding out about it 24 hours. later got it so they knew that I would. tell them like if I did something wrong. my conscience would force me to report. it back to them it I don't know what. that stems from I don't know why that is. but I was very transparent with them and.

so when it came to things like social. media they were like she's not going to. do she's not she she's just not a bad. kid like she's just not going to do bad. [ __ ] on there and and I didn't because I. just didn't even know how to do bad. stuff I'm like I I like didn't know what. bad stuff was right um I did have a kick. that just reminded me I had a kick that. I used. for like just kids at school messaging.

kids at school I forgot and then I would. get like dickpics and kick and then I. got super scared like so [ __ ] was that. the first time you saw a penis yeah. terrifying oh I was so [ __ ] I was. like I don't actually think I am. sexually attracted to anything you're. like I do I do not know what I like but. I don't like that I don't like that and. so like who knows what's next isn't that. so sad that like when you if you get a. dickpick and that's the first penis you. see like you're like not attracted to it. like I was terrified it makes you scared. I was scared of. penises until probably like I was 16.

okay like seriously like I was like not. scared of them but I was like that is. such a forign like it was so alien to me. yeah cuz I didn't have siblings so it's. not like I had a little brother where. like I like saw I'm growing up and like. I saw a boy like exist I didn't have a. lot of guy friends like so to me like a. pen I was like I I can't I don't know. what that is like it scared me call her. daddy is brought to you by ba East Dry. shampoo you guys I am always running.

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changer for me so Daddy gang go buy. batist light dry shampoo online or in. store at your nearest retailer everybody. that listens to my show knows that I was. obsessed with Hannah Montana growing up. same okay because I was going to ask you. I'm like who were you idolizing and. watching when you were growing up that. you were obsessed with well I have to. give a few from the years okay my first. YouTube Obsession was Fred do you. remember Fred oh my iconic iconic I.

completely forgot about that well I like. got on YouTube super young too cuz like. you know my dad was into YouTube he was. posting singing covers on YouTube when. it first came out and so he found out. about it and was like Emma this is great. and we didn't have cable so he's like. here you go little one you know you. don't get cable but you do get this babe. enjoy it's a pretty good trade no it was. great I loved it so I got super into. YouTube super young loved Fred then as I. grew a little bit older it was Jonas. Brothers for me in Hannah Montana which.

one was your favorite it kind of. teetered between Nick and Joe sorry. Kevin honestly Kevin's Kevin K's coming. back no Kevin he's a [ __ ] angel he. deserved he deserved more he did he did. have you ever met them I met I've met. Joe I went to the Hannah Montana concert. where it was like half Hannah Montana. half the Miley show and I remember the. Jonas Brothers open for them and I. remember my dad being like I promise you.

in like a year everyone's going to be. obsessed with these guys and I was like. No And then I was obsessed in a year I. was like I love them and then when like. Nick had the diabetes thing we were all. like devastated and everyone was. obsessed and it was like like we do. anything to save him everything like it. was so dramatic no I know okay so you. had Jonas Brothers you liked Miley I. loved Hannah Montana Miley all of that. um oh what okay I have to bring this up. cuz it's so [ __ ] funny um but like. when I was like 12 13 and Vine came out.

I was a huge Magcon girl okay that's. okay no it hurts wait why explain to why. does it hurt yeah well you know let's. let's explain this for people who don't. know what Magcon is. basically there was a group of really. hot well okay it's creepy to say that. they're hot now that I'm 20 no it's okay. but but like at the time I thought there. were the hottest guys I'd ever seen they. were on Vine doing absolutely nothing of. substance right which is fine you know. like that's not their fault um for them.

it's exactly like Tik Tok it's basic it. was like a group of like really. good-looking kids that were on Vine that. were famous and they would like go on. tours and do meet and greets and like. meet all their young girl fans and like. you know do weird [ __ ] on stage that. made no sense because they really if you. think about it didn't necessarily have. some sort of talent except for actually. Shawn Mendes was in mcon and he is like. now Shawn Mendes so like it worked out. for some of them it was like camer. Dallas and like Nash GRE you know what I.

mean I remember that yes I was. obsessed with them like I and they had. YouTube channels and I would rewatch. their videos like every night before bed. and I was like one day like I'll meet a. Madcon boy and I'll be able to just date. one of them they'll fall in love with me. and like I was I that's how a lot of. people felt though oh for sure yeah but. I will say that it like my crushes as a. young person were all consuming like. they were not like cute little mini.

crushes like I was obsessed feing for. that I was feing I don't it was weird. like in retrospect I don't it's so out. of character right like people would not. assume that of me but I've always been. somebody that like when I have a crush. on so I'm not creepy I don't like stalk. anybody but it is all consuming for me I. get that cuz then you go spiral down. like you watch every YouTube video and. you watch every single possible thing. that you consume of them like interviews. and everything and then you're invested. in their life they don't even know who. you are n well now they probably do um.

let's talk High School yeah you go to a. private school yes I've seen the videos. you're you're wearing a plaid skirt sort. of plaid it was it was I don't even. [ __ ] want to think about it yeah. describe your high school so I had an. interesting experience uh with high. school. because basically I was a. really academically driven student okay. and so I was obsessed with the idea of. going to a super prestigious college and.

I was willing to do anything to get. there and so when it came time to choose. what high school I was going to go to. the public schools in my area were not. great and I wanted to go to that I. wanted to go to a. braggy you know. super prestigious like you know. impressive school and I was like I can't. get that if I go to these Public Schools. so I was like Mom and Dad I want to go. to a private school and I went and I.

toured this all girls catholic school. that had a really great education and I. was like you know this could actually be. good I really. liked the environment when I toured the. school and I was able to get financial. aid so that I could financially go there. because I would not have been able to. afford it otherwise and so there I went. I went to all girls catholic school um. and I hated it after the first year and. I was like I made a big [ __ ] mistake.

and I haven't seen a boy in a long time. and I now those dickpics on Kick are. suddenly I'm trying to [ __ ] hack back. into my kick to see those dickpics I'm. like guys anything um when you so when. you started high school that's. interesting to know you did have college. goals oh yeah where did you want to go I. my dream school was columia which was. like not going to [ __ ] happen but. like you know actually I mean I was a. good student like I don't know how I was. a good student okay why I like just knew.

how to do school for whatever reason and. so um I got really good grades like. always above a 4.0 every year I listen I. don't [ __ ] know how it's possible. okay was Flex I was like really just I. and I don't think that school is a great. measure of intelligence I'll be the. first one to say it um because I'm a. [ __ ] idiot in a lot of areas so like. whatever but I was good at school so I. was like I'm going to use this and you. know I wanted to go into the medical.

field like I wanted to be an. anesthesiologist wow but like on what. basis one time I had anesthesia when I. had a surgery and the anesthesiologist I. see I can't even [ __ ] pronounce the. word of that it's okay no it sounds good. sounds good enough I dropped out of high. school so it's fine that I don't know. how to pronounce it okay like I didn't. finish my education so you can't expect. too much from me like I got a surgery. once and was like oh this job seems. chill and then I looked up how much they. make year and I was like oh this job's. super chill this is a good this is a.

good chill you have to go to school for. like 11 years but like f eventually. you'll get that check F why not when did. you have your first kiss like if you're. not with boys like when did you have. your first kiss I had my first kiss. freshman year on New Year's Eve that's. kind of cute no oh it was not cute no. actually you know in. retrospect it was fine like it could. have been a lot worse okay but it was. pretty bad and how did you meet the guy. then if you were at an all girl school.

basically the all girl school had a. corresponding all boy School y right. classic and so we would kind of party. with the boys from the all boys school. and they had friends that they knew from. middle school that were at other like. co-ed schools and then we knew other. girls that went to other co-ed schools. so it kind of all like congealed but I. think that the thing that made it. possible for the boys and girls to be. together was the fact that both boy and. girl schools were desperate for each.

other you know what I mean so and and. you know there was like a distinct like. okay this is the corresponding boy. school so it was like we didn't see each. other every day but at football games. we'd see each other and prom and things. like that. anyway I actually ended up kissing a guy. from like a school that was probably 30. minutes away um that like came to a New. Year's party that we were throwing the. two schools and it was extremely set up. m those are the worst you know it was. like oh he's outside waiting.

now okay but you also have to like can. we paint a picture like I was a super. late bloomer I mean I had like no boobs. like I looked really young like it was. like I looked super young yeah I always. have I even now look kind of young a lot. of people think I look young now so I. felt super also I never felt. like mature enough for like this type of.

behavior you know what I mean because. mentally I felt mature enough but. physically I didn't I felt like I didn't. fit the super feminine mold right where. you like have like boobs and like you. know you wear like a low top and like. whatever I could not participate in that. so I felt so. uncomfortable when it was time to do. anything with boys cuz I was like I want. to and like I mentally feel ready but I. outwardly I don't feel like I look ready.

and I. feel insecure of my. appearance even though I know that in my. brain like I'm ready and that I like. love boys and in fact am like quite. obsessed with boys like but I didn't. feel like I looked that way what were. you most insecure about appearance-wise. I was super insecure about my boobs okay. because which now I'm like I love having. small boobs like it's the best thing. ever like I don't care but you know when.

I was younger I like didn't have any. boobs like it wasn't just like. oh they're no they flat and you know. guys in Middle School used to give me a. hard [ __ ] time about that like. calling me you know like a door like. whatever like [ __ ] like that and um. which is fine like whatever I'm friends. with those kids now like I forgive um. but good you know it's good to it's good. to be forgiving but. I also like didn't get my period until I.

was 16 and I felt like I wasn't a woman. without it you know I was like call her. daddy is brought to you by eBay this is. what you do when you have high standards. and fancy all the fancy things like a. Dior saddle bag or that diamond tennis. bracelet you go to eBay there you'll. find new loves that will never. disappoint expertly authenticated. whether it's that Vintage Pearl Necklace. or brand new ruby earrings a brought. across body bag or classic watches like.

that Rolex Oyster or that cardier tank. on eBay there are no limits to your high. standards yeah eBay the place for New. pre-loved Vintage and rare fashion Ebay. things people love you start making. videos at one point in high school yes. and when I was growing up I was familiar. with having a camera in my face cuz my. dad is in the TV industry yes and so. every Christmas or birthday there's. cameras everywhere in my house and so.

naturally I knew I was the star and I. know that's cringe no it's not crazy. back then I was like Dad cue the cam. here I come I'm meant to be right here. what do you remember about your early. performances on a camera well I was. always really obsessed with YouTube. Because as I mentioned earlier I didn't. have cable and so I watched a lot of. YouTube and when I was like in fifth. grade I tried to make a YouTube video on. my iPad.

I wish we could watch it I wish we could. watch it so bad I need to find that iPad. cuz it has so much good [ __ ] on it but. my my cousins and I were constant like. we were constantly making little. videos during family vacations during. you know holidays like whatever. constantly making little videos like. there were these iMovie. trailer templates that you could use so. you could make like a movie trailer but. iMovie provided the template so all you. had to do is like film little things and. then they would plug it in for you and.

so we would do those all the time so I. was familiar and comfortable in that. sense where you know my cousins and I. were always obsessed there is a big. difference between recording something. and then pressing upload on that [ __ ]. like you got to have balls to press. upload for sure what compelled you to. press upload on your first YouTube video. well my first YouTube video ever I was. in fifth grade and I was like I don't. care I I I didn't even want to like be. famous like I never thought I could like.

get any like recognition from it I to. this day I I I've always like looked at. Fame as an impossible thing so I was. like I'm not going to become famous from. this but I was like even just like a few. people commenting will make me feel good. post and then of course like nothing. happened and then I deleted it like a. week later that was my very first one. but then the you know when I was 16 and. I uploaded I. honestly just I was in such a shitty. spot that I was like I have nothing to.

lose like I'm so depressed I'm so. unhappy I like I want to do something. that makes me feel good and YouTube has. always made me feel good so. [Music]. I'm I'm just going to pose on there did. anyone from your high school when they. saw that make fun of you or like say. anything mean behind my back yes but. never to my face and I heard about. people saying [ __ ] behind my back but. it's. like like what were they saying they. were just like does she really think. anything's going to come of that which.

is you know what no listen fair enough. like if I would have. seen someone from my high school posting. on YouTube I number one I would have. said the same thing about them I would. have been like really like what's G to. come on you guys like it's not easy but. on the other hand I was even saying that. to myself it wasn't like people were it. wasn't like I was posting YouTube videos. being like I'm going to make it big one. day you know I was posting videos like. this is just a hobby for me and like. even if I just get 100 subscribers like.

that's fun like I just a little. community and also I enjoy making the. videos I enjoy the process of it so what. happened after I pressed upload was more. just like well at least it lives. somewhere when did you go viral so. about about. like two or three months after I started. that's crazy it was you know in and it. was crazy but I also think that a big. reason reason for that was I was.

uploading every [ __ ] day like I was. uploading every single day during the. summer and by the end of the summer I. had like something like 50 videos and so. I had such. a collection already that it was easy it. didn't take as long because I was. grinding I mean every day I was like I. need to make a video every day and then. I ended up cutting it down and I was. like three days a week and then I cut it. down two days a week and then I cut it. down one day a week but it was like in. the beginning I started and I was like I. just want to get as good at this as I. can as quickly as [ __ ] possible and.

then when that one video did really well. I was like it was this video where I. went to the Dollar Store and I bought a. bunch of like random [ __ ] and did like a. fake haul like I was kind of like. kidding around doing a. haul and I was really proud of the video. and it like after two weeks it had like. half a million views or something or. maybe it was like it had a 100,000 views. after. like yeah and when that was happening. what were you doing like were you. telling your parents what were you my.

parents my dad was like super interested. he was like I think you could really do. something with this actually and I was. like okay I don't but thanks Dad I was. like Dad like that is like one in a. trillion like why are we why are we. let's not go there because I'm just. going to get disappointed you know but. he's like I don't know Emma like I think. if you really get good at this like. something could come of it when all of a. sudden like so many people are watching. you're like I actually. cannot comprehend this number of people.

I can't. comprehend the fact that all of a sudden. now I'm making money you know I can't. comprehend any part of this so I'm just. going to go robot mode and like just. like I you know you stop at a certain. point you stop processing it it's it's a. really weird thing to try to explain too. because it's not like you're a singer. where you're like filling a stadium for. a concert so you're like making these. things and pressing upload and then. going to and like yet it's crazy to see. that number but it still doesn't fully.

register that like who like half a. million people just watched that video. Yeah it feels it's like a different. metric in your brain like it's like. you're looking at it in a different. you're not looking at it as real people. but you're also not looking at it as. just a number there's this like weird in. between way that your brain processes it. yeah but. it's it's kind of I think I knew. subconsciously that if. I looked into it too deeply and I.

thought about it too deeply that I'd. psych myself out [ __ ] myself over and. ruin the whole thing so I was like I'm. not going to think I'm just going to. just tunnel vision keep going and like I. did that up. until probably the last 3 months when. and it has been really uncomfortable. when when you really like wake up and. realize like oh [ __ ] this is the. situation it's. like I finally turned off my tunnel. vision and it felt like everything was.

like that i' had been building for four. years was now right in front of me and I. had never looked at it you know what I. mean yes and we're going to get into. that because yes but first yes why did. you drop out of high school so the. summer of sophomore year I started my. YouTube channel because I was depressed. and I was like my dad was like you need. a hobby I said okay so I started my. channel and by the end of the summer you.

know I was making money and I was like. and I've never made money you know and I. was like oh [ __ ] okay this is actually. pretty serious you know and I was loving. it and people at school were like. respecting me because I had they weren't. being an [ __ ] anymore some people. still were but you know people were like. excited for me and I was excited and. junor year I was like okay I this is the.

year I take hard classes so I was taking. like three AP. classes and long story short it just was. so I couldn't. do schoolwork and YouTube but I was like. obviously school work is more important. so I was like okay I'll just drop some. of my classes and take easier classes. but then YouTube kept building and I was. like I already took all the like I'm. just taking added [ __ ] to help me for. college and I started questioning okay. am I even going to go to college anyway.

now that this YouTube thing is going the. way that it is I'm making an income now. I can support myself now all of a sudden. by the end of the summer I was like I. actually could support myself I don't it. changed everything and I was like I. don't think I need to be working this. hard because I don't think I'm actually. going to college anymore I might try to. ride this out and then when this doesn't. work out anymore then I can go to. college even if I'm like 30 like who. gives a [ __ ] you know and so I took one.

of those standardized tests and just. left school like I kept basically. dropping classes more and more until it. got to a point where I was like I just. don't need to be here because I'm not. I'm number one I'm not learning anything. that is necessary it was all stuff that. was only really necessary for college I. had already taken all of the classes. that I needed to that were like normal. high school level I was just doing added. [ __ ] what's the point of that I was like. this is stupid. so I was out of there how did you tell. your parents and how did they react.

honestly it was kind of their. idea it was kind of like it was not just. my idea I wasn't like Mom and Dad like I. want to leave school they were like. you're so miserable in. school you. know well actually at First we were. thinking about homeschooling me. interesting so actually that was the. first idea they were like. you this is is not this structure is not. working right and so we toyed around.

with the idea of homeschooling me but. then after doing more. research uh we were like okay actually. just let's just cut it cut it because in. and I you know I know that I I don't. recommend people drop out of school and. I think that my situation was very. unique um. because I was fortunate enough to get. all of my like General high school. education out of the way in the first. two years and that's a really like again.

like it would have been irresponsible to. leave if that had not been completed and. I and I always I actually have never. said that out loud I don't think but I I. know it's kind of fun to be Reckless and. be like I dropped out of school like. [ __ ] it but it was it wasn't this super. irrational super irresponsible I could. have gone straight to college from that. point that I was at got it you know so. like I didn't need. to it it wasn't [ __ ] me over I.

completed my high school credits like I. was done you know what I'm saying so how. did your friends react when you told. them like were you close with a lot of. people in high school did you have a lot. of friends the first uh year and a half. of high school yes but towards the end. no I only really had one friend and even. and she like knew everything. about like she knew about how school was. like affecting me negatively and. how I just was depressed so like I.

couldn't be social you know and I. couldn't deal with the es and flows of. friendship I just didn't have that in. my in me and so she understood that and. she was kind of kept up to date on like. how things were evolving but she you. know she was like she had other friends. like she was so she was just like peace. you know everybody was just kind of like. peace I really just disappeared one day. honestly call her daddy is brought to. you by. T-Mobile when it's time for a big juicy.

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keep posting from the sky that free. inflight Wi-Fi has been key lately. because we are trying to find my best. friend Lauren a man on every flight we. take and I have to keep the daddy gang. updated live with our progress T-Mobile. also has VIP Club magenta lounges that. offer free drinks for T-Mobile customers. and you guys know I can't say no to a. free dirty martini so Daddy gang kick. your old carrier to the curb it is time. to block their number then go and hit up.

T-Mobile when you're ready to really be. taken care of check out the VIP. treatment at. tmobile.com benefits if you could change. one thing about that time in your life. what would it. be. nothing I I really you know I have a lot. of moments in my life that I look back. at and cringe at and I have a lot of. moments that I regret like for. and not regret that's actually. completely the wrong word I have a lot.

of moments that I'm like damn I would do. that so differently now but I refuse to. ever even think about how I would change. things. because every bad experience has just. made me me do you have you ever been had. one of those moments like a little. jealous of that like classic college. experience you see on Tik Tok people are. at the Frat parties do you ever be like. okay yes what so you do is is it more. about like the social aspect that you. kind of wish you could partake in I.

think the thing that I sometimes get a. little bit upset about is like how. quickly I had to grow up and it sounds. so again like just so like Emma shut the. [ __ ] up but I don't think I realized. when I left school and immediately. started working how there's no leeway. for me anymore you know what I mean. there was no. room for being a kid anymore like it was.

like okay no you have to get your. [ __ ] act together because you're. you're saying you know that you can make. a living on your own and that you're. going to make this [ __ ] work and that. you're going to make it last and that. you know moving to La is a good idea and. that being friends with other you know. YouTubers is a good idea and you know. having to do your own laundry and do. your own dishes and cook for yourself. and taxes like there's so many facets of. it that you're like oh [ __ ] you know I.

didn't realize that this came with this. you know by quitting school and by just. going straight into being technically. self-employed I was also saying that I. could handle all those other things my. parents were very. helpful with the technical stuff but. emotionally you know you there's no way. to prepare college is basically four. years of you to be able to fake act like.

an adult you don't really have much. responsibility but you are on your own. and for you it was like oh wait no you. actually do have responsibility cuz if. you don't keep uploading like you don't. have a job and you didn't apply to. college so like where are we going at 16. years old you become famous on the. internet how did people start treating. you. differently I would say at first not. much changed it was really interesting. because yes I had a following on the.

internet that if you look at it you know. like 100,000 subscribers that's a [ __ ]. ton of subscribers right but in the. grand scheme of the world people didn't. really they're like eh we'll see you at. a million like you know this is. whatever my family was very skeptical. like my my outer family they were kind. of like what is going on you know and so. they didn't treat me any different but. they were definitely just like Curious a. lot of people were really curious. but I didn't really have any friends so. I didn't have any friends reacting to.

like what was happening to me when you. say you didn't have any friends did you. feel. lonely yes but I really wanted once I. started to you know turn YouTube into my. job I started to feel like I couldn't. really relate to kids in my high school. as well and so I was like you know I. would still hang out with those kids and. and we would have fun and like that was.

fine but there was a. disconnect and so I started looking to. find people that were in this space that. could be friends with me and and I ended. up finding those friends and that was. really awesome so like and we didn't. live near each other but I made quite a. bit of friends on the internet that were. doing the same thing and it was nice. because there was a mutual understanding. and also there was no weirdness there. was no questions about it there was just. like a un spoken understanding that was. very special at the time there's always.

the moment when you start getting. recognized in public yeah when do you. remember like the first time you got. recognized so I go to Maine every summer. with my family on vacation and I had. like 6,000 subscribers when I went the. summer of sophomore year like 6,000. subscribers okay which to me was like oh. my God [ __ ] all y'all I'm popping off. I'm popping off y' don't know me anymore. I'm different now no but um so I'm I'm.

on vacation in Maine and this girl comes. up to me and like asks me for a photo. now I had 6,000 subscribers I thought. that this was a real interaction my. grandma set that up. no you're like oh my God you guys I just. got asked for a picture your grandma I'm. already getting a big [ __ ] head. grandma do not play with me like this. holy [ __ ] no but um it was it was sweet. it was sweet that's actually. so cute it eventually though you did.

start to gain attention how did you. handle initially getting noticed in. public and like the. attention at first I've actually gone. through phases with it like in the very. beginning I was stoked and I was like so. I was like this is so awesome like it. was you know my dream was coming true. right it was so [ __ ] cool and it was. and then you know. I I've gone through abs and flows where. it's made me a little anxious because I.

if I'm not in a good spot like I'll get. anxious about not being in a good spot. mentally and I'm like is this showing. like I don't want I started getting. anxiety about giving these people like. the best experience they could possibly. have meeting me and then that kind of. got into my head but I didn't have that. thought in the very beginning so that. came in into play later it feels like no. one hates you and I'm going to take. notes right well because I'm a little. bit more polarizing why do you think.

you're so. lovable I don't feel that I am and I. think that really I mean I've gone. through the ringer really in what way. well so there was like there's been. chunks of time throughout my experience. on the internet where I've been like. widely disliked you know whether people. thought I was annoying or people like or. like it's interesting like there's just. been periods of time when people have. just not liked me and the general.

conversation around me has been negative. the thing that's really interesting. about it is that I noticed this just. from talking to other people in this. space a lot of people they're so. hyperfocused on themselves as they. should be we're human right um so like I. perceive you and I'm like you're nobody. [ __ ] hates you right but see you. because I'm not seeing people giving you. [ __ ] right whereas like you're not. seeing people giving me [ __ ] everybody. gets [ __ ] and so everybody their own. perception of their own career and like.

General likeness is not right right it's. skewed in a in a negative direction for. everybody individually I look. at any other personality on the internet. and unless they're like. genuinely yeah just a bad [ __ ] person. and everyone knows it unless that's. what's going on generally like I. nobody's going to see it except for you. yeah like it's almost like you everyone.

es and flows with hate and love yeah if. you're putting content out there yeah. and also everyone's memory is so short. on [ __ ] it's like people don't give a. [ __ ] no they act like they do because. it's fun to like get together in a group. and be like let's canel this person but. then in a week they're like oh my God. like you're doing this and then they. love you and it just es and flows but. that is a good point to say like to hear. from you saying like you do get hate. yeah to summarize like what do they hate. you for I mean I would say that like.

when I was a lot younger I edited in. like a really like fast-paced like a. kind of you know flashy way and it was. kind of like and I thought it was like. funny and annoying and that's why I. liked it I was like I think this is just. like funny and entertaining and like. it's not serious like whatever but some. people just found that annoying and were. like why the [ __ ] do people want to. watch this which I totally get because. that's not everybody was going to like. the style of editing and my personality. I was a loud kid I was a you know out.

outgoing kid and people just thought I. was annoying so that was like one thing. but then also I think a big part of it. was just like when you become successful. people just are going to nitpick just. about anything yeah and so and I. understood that I was like I get it like. I'm you know I'm a Target and I. understand that and I think some of it. might have been from jealousy and some. of it just might have been from like. people just simply not enjoying me and. like that's fair. but it doesn't make it not hurt you know. I can't blame people I get the culture.

of the. internet but it still sucks it does suck. you know well it's hard because then you. get all these good comments and then you. see one and you're like it sticks with. you and then it's like wait all these. people are actually like telling you how. great you are and they love the content. and then you see one and then you're. like my whole day sucks it's always that. way yeah you think you can and you might. have a good moment where you're like oh. this [ __ ] doesn't bother me but it. always comes back is there anything that. made you almost. quit I will.

say there has been a lot of times where. I've almost. quit so this is called her daddy yes I. have had sex Alex there's a lot. of room to get [ __ ] over when you're. being friends with people in your. industry and that's something that I. really struggle with this person's like. profiting off of me in some way I don't.

think that they actually care about me. and these like YouTubers who are maybe. more. established they I think that they knew. that they could kind of push you around. push me around a little bit not only on. camera but off like you are using me I. can tell [ __ ] you if I went and. addressed every [ __ ] rumor or every. fake blah blah blah blah blah about me. you know I wouldn't that would be. actually my full-time job like I just. feel so out of control of the public. perception of me I remember my. ex-boyfriend one of his friends was like.

dude like she doesn't actually like you. like she I don't think she actually. likes you like she's I think she likes. girls and the psychological damage is. quite it is crazy.