Willing To Go Bankrupt For Transition | Financial Audit

Everyone, my name is Jessie. I'm 36. I'm. based out of Dallas Fort Worth, and this. is Financial Audit. Well, thanks for coming down for coming. down from Dallas. What do you do for a. living up there? I'm a For lack of a. better term, I'm a stockbroker. Stockbroker out of Dallas. Okay, cool. Very cool. How much do we make in doing. that? Uh before the bonus, I'm probably. making about 75. Okay, well, that's. incredible. 75. And then after the. bonus? Uh it fluctuates, but let's round it up. to about 86. Are you married? I am.

married. Okay, yes, cuz I saw some. potential combining the finances. So, what's the total household income here? Total household income, again, it. fluctuates every year, but I think last. year we netted about. 135. that's incredible. How are we doing? How. are we feeling? I mean, you know, yeah, one of the things that they say is like. if you're not prepared to make the. money, you're going to waste the money. So That's where you are? I would think. so, honestly. Why do you waste the. money? Where's the money? A lot has. changed in the last 3 years for us. But,

a whole lot. So, yeah, a bunch of things. have like a lot of new money has come. in, you know, we both have new jobs. about 3 years into it each on our. career. Um but then a lot of other. things like medical expenses and new. debts like acquired a house and stuff. like that. Yeah. It ended up being a fixer-upper. and stuff like that. So, we've had to. sink in like. over the years. That's why you have a bunch of like debt. cuz the mortgage is pretty okay, but we. have a lot of like. like not great debt. Oh, yeah. No, that's that's exactly. right there. Is this all the debt for.

the household or is this just you? Some. of it's the debt for the household. Some. of it's from me, but. Okay. Is there more debt outside of this. for the household? I did go looking for. it. My wife actually runs the finances. in the house. We uh. I didn't find anything else. Why isn't. she here? Why isn't she here? Because. she's working. Uh yeah, got to pay the. bills. Mhm. That's fair. Uh okay. Yeah, if you had to give. yourself a household, you know, household finances all together across. everything, a score zero to 10, what.

would you give the household score? 10. being a good thing or 10 being great? 10 being great. Like insanely best of. the best, zero being the worst of the. worst. Well, I'm always prone to. negatively evaluate myself, so I'm going. to give myself a four. Okay. Well, I. understand negatively evaluating. Well, first of all, five would be average, right? If we're thinking zero to 10. And. if we're negatively evaluating self, first of all, you know, four being. interesting because we immediately come. here with a missed payment, past due. amount on a debt, $140. We make a. ton of money. Okay, we're well above the.

average median median household income. in Dallas, in Texas, and in the United. States. Why are we missing a hundred. forty dollar payment? What is this? Enter Bank USA. What is this? What is. this debt? Interbank is our foundation. We had to get our foundation fixed. When did you buy this house? 2019. And you got it inspected? We got. it inspected twice. And foundation? Foundation problems popped up very. shortly after. Not in the in inspection. Not in the inspection. Oh, man. Got an.

inspection done, didn't like the. inspection, didn't didn't feel right. with it. We had a second inspection done. by an independent person, and they. confirmed the results of the first one. So, we bought the house. Damn, so a lot of these are going to be. house related. I mean. But why are we missing a payment? To be. honest with you, I don't know. We've got the payments on uh. repeat. They're just monthly scheduled. Did we not have enough in the checking. account when I hit? That has happened a few times. It's. No, why? We make too much money. I know. you're not the finance person of the.

household, but why? Honestly, it's cuz the amount of money. that I've sunk into like other things. that are going on in my life. What? Uh a lot of it has gone to. medical. Oh, can I ask what's going on? Sure. I'm in the middle of a gender. transition. Okay. Yep. And that's actually really pricey. Uh how much are we talking? Uh luckily, my insurance is pretty good, so I have. not had to pay it all out of pocket, but. Okay. the total cost that I've incurred. to myself is probably about five, ten. thousand dollars this year alone, and at.

least double that last year. Okay, so. it's been a 2-year progress so far? Yes. How much more are we expecting through. until, you know, you're done, I guess? Uh I would actually consider myself. pretty much done at this point, yeah. So. Okay. So, we're done then. We're done. The expenses are done. The expenses are. done. Yeah, like those hospital visits. and stuff like that. Yeah. So, 10,000 this year, 10,000 last year? Uh maybe that 15, 20 last year, closer. to like 7.5 to 10 this year. Okay. The thing is.

Dallas isn't a. cheap city, but it's also not one of the. most expensive cities, either. Right. especially for Texas, for a median household income with this, with a pretty decent, you know, pretty. decent mortgage. If we're managing. everything else, that in a year shouldn't be a. everything else is all of a sudden. failing to make payment kind of number. 10 to 15 isn't a make or break kind of. number when it comes to our total.

household income. Right. So again, you. sunk some money into there. Why are we. possibly not having enough money to pay. a loan that we took out? So, that's the. number one thing I think that impacted. us this year. A number two thing is that. uh. I can't assume anybody is going through. gender transition like I am, but when. you do something that dramatic, it also. tends to bring out every other personal. problem you've ever had or failed to. deal with, right? So, I've developed a.

few mental health concerns over the last. like four, five years as well. Uh I have. major depressive disorder, uh gender. anxiety disorder, not gender generalized. anxiety disorder. Uh and PTSD. And I went into a period of manic. depression for a little while this. earlier this year. Um and I made some. bad financial decisions at that time. therapy? I am in therapy, yes. Good. Were you in therapy? Yes, I was. Okay. I mean, mental health is very.

real. It's a thing. It impacts us all. It impacts me. It impacts everyone. I. mean, as everyone knows who's watched. this show, it pretty much impacts. everyone. There's not like a barely a. single guest that comes on this show. that doesn't have. mental health and, you know, a lot of. finance things surrounding that. Okay, so we enter those periods. Mhm. Tell me. how that impacted your finances then. because okay, cool. It existed. I mean, that you know, is reality. So, I'm going. to say the number one thing that. impacted me is like uh. I made two impulse purchases. Uh we my my wife has always wanted a.

car, a new car. Okay. Always. Well, I mean, that that can mean a lot. of things. There's a big range there. Right. Right. So she's always had a. hand-me-down car or used car or. something like that, and I would do. anything for her, especially dealing. with like having to go through all the. things that she's gone through. supporting. the car and the price? a Kia um Sportage. 2022. Okay, and the price? The price was after everything was said. and done, 35, I think. Okay.

And then I doubled it up, and I got my. dream car. What was your dream car? My dream car is parked outside. It's a. blue Subaru Crosstrek, 2024. Also about. 30? 36. Okay, and how did we purchase these? Uh. I have good credit. So, loan? Yes. Okay. So, how much did you put down? I put. down on my car, sold the old car that I. had, I put down probably about 3,000. Okay, and the other one? I honestly.

don't think we put anything down on her. Okay, so obviously there's been a. monthly payment that started accruing, but $3,000 again, making or breaking $135,000 a year, still math isn't mathing for me. Uh. yeah, and it's honestly it's been. about two, maybe three months since. we've done like the math ourself and. like running the bills and be like, "Hey, where. How? How are we existing for 3 months. without looking at bills? So, when I'm. setting aside money to save for a new. purchase like a car or a home or taxes. or whatever I'm saving money for like an. emergency fund, I'm using SoFi. It's a.

4.6% yield on my money, and this is. absolutely incredible. Why not take. advantage of that free return on the. money that's just sitting there. And. there's great bonuses for signing up all. the way up to $250 if you sign up using. the link in the description below. It's. literally free money. I use it. You. should, too. Honestly, I mean, honestly, those two things that I just mentioned. have been at the forefront. So I think. you've entered and you kind of mentioned. this at the beginning. I think you've. entered a point where you guys make.

enough money where you feel like you. don't have to look at the bills. potentially. Yeah, I. Or else why would you not have looked. for the last 3 or 4 months, right? Yes, and so like it's for example, it's. worked extremely well the last couple. years like between 2019 and 2022, it. worked fine. But. Well, what's her retirement account at? Do you know? Across the board? account is at. 401k, she's maybe like 15,000, I think. Okay, and I assume similar age. Similar. age, yes.

So dramatically behind. Okay, and you? Uh mine is 4,000, I Beyond dramatically. behind. Okay, so what's about what's. this we've done well these last 3 years. then? We we were doing really well until. this year. Uh But if we were doing well, our retire unless you're telling me. you've pulled from retirement. Oh, I definitely have. Oh, why? What. have you pulled? It happened from my. manic depressive phase. I don't even. remember doing it. do? I pulled that money out to pay for.

uh other bills that we had been working. on. What bills? So, we had like um. we've had to fix the foundation twice, right? Part of it's paid off. I pulled. out a lot of the money to pay that off. How much so? Uh what did I pull out? I. pulled out 8,000 the first time. Again, okay. Well, it's starting to stack up, but at this point we're at a total of. like 28,000 across all the three things. that you said. Still not make or break. for our income. Getting a little more nervous, but still. that's not a we have to pull from.

retirement order to make this bill. work type thing unless we're just out of. control when it comes to where the money. is going with the rest of our income. that's coming in. Yeah, and that's the. last part, honestly. So, you pulled eight from retirement? If. I remember correctly, yes. So, you were. at 10? I was at 20. Where did the other 10 go? So, eight came out and that went to. various things. 10 came out, it went to. a couple of small bills, but honestly, I've had extremely bad spending habits.

20 is still for mid-30s. Not great for retirement. Very much not great, but getting down to. two I mean with the penalties and. whatever potential taxes depending on. how it's grown. Uh preaching to the. choir. I know, that sucks. I'm not going. to I'm not going to beat you up for it. cuz I mean it already happened. It's not. like you're doing it right now. But what. I will beat you up for right now is is. that number. That scares me. 2,000 and. then you said she was at 10-ish. Ish. That's scary. 12,000 in retirement for.

the household? That's like dying on the. Walmart floor type numbers, you know? It's like you're working you're both. working at Walmart in your mid-80s cuz. there's not enough to survive. Right. Excuse me. That scares me. Then again, we're missing a payment. So, I mean we. just gloss over the first debt. We're. sitting at 11,021. dollars. 145 minute monthly payment, but. we have to owe 285 right now because. we're missing payments. And it's a 7%. interest. It's not an insignificant. loan. Nope. Interest rate. It's not good. I mean, the market barely.

beats it on average. So, what? Oh, no, it's just like it's. interesting to hear it out loud, but I. have these conversations in my head a. lot of the time. I'm like, oh my god, what did I do? Okay, why have we not. tried to make progress? We have. Um it. was I know it's a financial show, but I. was at a point where it was um. the mental health that I was dealing. with was leading me to suicide. So, we've been really focusing on staying. alive. Staying alive is certainly more. important. Yeah. Okay.

Um I'm just I'm It It makes more sense. to fully focus on. that. You think trying to survive. financially would have taken from that? The answer's yes, and the answer's yes, but Yeah, honestly, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Car. One of the cars. This is the Kia. That's the Kia. What? Yours is a what. again? Mine? Yeah. Mine's a 24. Also a. Kia? Subaru. So, it's a 72 months. That's a long time. So, it's not done.

until the end of this decade. Decade. Decade. Yeah, how does that feel? Yeah, feels like a long time. Yeah. And it's. sitting at 37,245. dollars and 44 cents. Lovely. Uh what I. can't see on here is the interest rate. What's the interest rate? This minimum. monthly payment now certainly if we. can't, you know, if we're missing. payments on other things, this minimum. monthly payment of 697. dollars. is not giving us any favors. Oh, god, no. Her interest is at 9.5, I think. I'm.

actually surprised they didn't say the. interest rate on there. Yeah, it. doesn't. Okay. This must be the Subaru. Okay. 34,903. dollars 83 cents. What's the term length. on this at 8.75%? And it's also 72. So, all at the same time minimum monthly. payment. So, we've we've gotten to the. point where we're like uh 1,300 1,400. dollars a month in minimum monthly car. payments. Then we have car insurance and.

gas on top of that. I will say the. saving grace on that is we do work from. home. What doesn't make sense then? What. saving grace? What grace have you just. been saved from? But a smaller gas bill. Oh. Well, I just. what I saw was I just got an expensive. car payments and never use it. Oh, no, we use it. We use her car more often. Kids got to drive them everywhere. You. guys have kids? We got kids. We got two. Well, we Ages? One is 12 and one is. four. The four-year-old is ours. outright. The uh 12-year-old I had with.

a previous wife. And she just moved just far enough out. of town to where like that is like we. can't see him the same amount of time, but we're still constantly having to. pick him up and Okay. drive him around. and stuff like that. Lowe's. I assume. this is for the house. Yes. We're. currently sitting at 9,000. Geez. 903 dollars. So, yes, your income it. starts becoming much weaker when we. start adding these again 164 dollar. minimum monthly payment. This is when we. just rack up that, rack up that, rack up.

that. Mhm. Okay. So, Lowe's is for a fence. And truth be told, truth be told, it's. an old house, 1950s house. Would not have got the fence except that. we were being harassed in our backyard. because I'm transgender. So, all the neighbors are throwing our yard, hollering at us, calling us names to the. kids. Kids can't roll over fences. though. Oh, of course they can, but as. soon as they don't see me, it doesn't. seem to bother them as much. I don't couldn't tell you, but at the. end of the day it's just like you kind. of do whatever you can to like live a.

normal life. Yeah, and it's hard for me. to be like, "Oh, safety. Safety bad.". This is This is so expensive. That does. not change the fact that it's really. expensive. Yeah, and that it's on a card. that's growing 65 dollars 64 cents of. interest on a monthly basis. Mhm. 483. dollars of interest this year so far and. 30 dollars of fees. You probably missed. a payment. Wouldn't be surprised based. on the first one we looked at. We're. lucky it's an 8% interest. Not great, but it's better than like 20 to 30% we. see on cards. Right.

So, I think we have two student loans. One for you, one for her? No student. loans for her, just for me. You say you. have two different student loans? I did. To my knowledge, I do not. Um Oh, wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. I think I may have. confused it with something else. We'll. see. I do have student loans, but it. should. Yeah, well, uh uh and. uh Nelnet. I always forget how to say. that. Nelnet. We're sitting at. What did you graduate in? Uh my degrees? Got two of them. One in history, one in.

sociology. And now we're a stock broker. And now we're a stock. do anything. I did not want to go to. college. My father is a lawyer. He. coerced me, basically. Classic American. Yep. Yeah. Yep. So, I didn't want to. incur the debt. He. you know, one of those like. spend 18 years being told something. you're going to eventually believe it. kind of a thing. So, like I went even. though I didn't want to go and ended up. with that. This is why I talk about tech. certifications through course careers. and trade schools and all the other.

options. College is great. If you didn't want to go, Yeah. I would not have pushed you to go. But he's a lawyer. He doesn't need my. opinion. What is this? What is this? Past due amount? Why the is there a. past due amount again? Why are we not. paying? So, that I don't understand. I'm. actually working that out with them cuz. you know, the payment stuff just. restarted. Yeah, and did you turn it on? I was paying We were originally with. Great Lakes student loans. They got sold. back to Nelnet recently. Same. Oh, see. So, you get that. But. yeah, no, what I.

I was paying off through all of the. COVID situation every month like 145. Through Great Lakes or Through Great. Lakes. Okay. it switched to Nelnet, they're like, "Oh, yeah, you owe this and this and. this." And. Yeah, why didn't you set up a payment? It was easy. I did it in like two. seconds. And that's where my name change. comes in. They refused to change my. name. So, they wouldn't let me in. Even though my name was legally changed. Why didn't you just log in with your old. name though? Oh, for one reason or another didn't work. But then I contacted them. They're like, "Yeah, you got to email for this. particular situation cuz we don't do.

that over the phone." Legal name is. Jessie? Legal name was not Jessie. No, it is Jessie. Yes. Yes. Okay, cuz it. has Jessie. So, you were able to change. it actually. to change it, yes. But it's been with Nelnet for like four. or five months right now and and that's. Why haven't you caught up on the. payment? Well, the other bills. At this. point, it's the other bills. Uh you're. on something interesting. Must be on. some kind of repayment thing cuz this. this this this is not This wouldn't be. the standard repayment. No, I I mean I. believe it should be higher based on the. income, but that hasn't been addressed.

yet. Income. So, it's income based. You're on. income based? yes. So, we're at 128 a month. Yeah, dude, you make. a lot of money. So, interesting. Okay. Yeah, and what I do not like and what. scares me about this being on income. base is allowing the interest to accrue. at 7% rounded. This isn't like one of. those federal student loans that's at 5%. or 4%. We're sitting at 6.875%. Yeah. Been there for years. You seem no You seem.

Well, it's either nonchalant about it or. you've just accepted it all and you're. just like, "Ah, it's all over here.". So, the only two things that I can do. right now are accept it and then fix it. And where's the fix it? I'm working on. that right now. How? Uh honestly, a lot of overtime at. work. Drastic. am I not seeing anything extra go. towards it? Unless this is like you just. started overtime like a week ago. Uh two. months max, I believe. Mhm, that doesn't make any sense cuz. we're behind on two payments. If we were. If we started two months ago, we would. not be behind on two payments. Right.

With the wife running the finances, it. goes towards something. I don't ask. that works anymore. No, maybe not, but. it's what happens. I think we have a conversation. We sit. down on a monthly basis. We figure out. where money was going, where money needs. to go, addressing the budget. And it's. funny, we actually had that. conversation. I was on the way down here. yesterday driving down and I was talking. to her. I'm like, "Hey, we now that like. a couple things like aside from money. got taken care of." I was like, "Hey, can we like run the numbers, run the. bills, etc. etc." Why Yeah, sorry. Go ahead.

What I actually found I was going to say. it was It's not that she runs the money. and the finances and checks all these. bills because like I won't or something. like that. It's because I couldn't like. mentally handle it for a while. So, I'm getting back to that point very. recently where I'm like, "Yeah, I can. actually like I think I've got the. mental fortitude to actually start. being an adult and handling this. Mhm. So, that actually happened like. yesterday, too. And hopefully you guys. start getting out of that. So, the. mortgage. This I kind of like the. mortgage. $166,000 not a massive balance.

for a house in a major city. And at 4%, which is a pretty good rate. Yeah, no. So, I like this. 1,407 dollar minimum monthly payment. should be pretty easy within your. income. It is. Never missed a payment on. that as It better not. What I believe. I have not. Yeah. And. it's actually fluctuated. It's been a. little lower. It's actually been a. little higher, you know, with taxes and. all that stuff, but never missed a. payment. Costco card. So, this isn't a 0% period, it seems.

On the Costco card? Uh-huh. No. That's. uh You don't fully pay it off, though. That we don't. We used to up until a. about two, maybe three months ago. So, I. mean, we put some money towards it, but. not enough to fully pay off where we're. sitting. Then we purchased $5,000. $5,000. What the. What are we doing? $5,000. $5,000 is. insane. Random useless expenditures. A lot of it.

is also a a lot of our bills, like uh. electricity and I saw some electricity. Yeah, and stuff like that. We'll go to. that as well, but there's an inordinate. amount that goes Sometimes utilities add. an extra fees, you know, credit card. I'm not 100% sure, but why are you doing. it? If I remember correctly, we had. trouble getting it set up to our bank. account originally, so we just said, "Screw it. Let's just do it to the. credit card. Get that taken care of.". That's not an adult decision. Screw is. not an adult decision. Well, maybe not, but it's what we did. Did. Okay, cool. Well, why don't are you open to undoing?

Oh, yeah, 100%. Okay. $41 minimum. monthly payment cuz they want that to. just. And suck from you, yeah. Mhm. Yeah, no, because what we're having is. taquitos, which okay, I know you don't. watch this channel, so taquitos. essentially means you're going into a. gas station, you're getting some some. money. Stuff that doesn't exist. Like unnecessary to exist. Sorry. You're. fine. So, taquitos. Victoria's Secret. Got to get all got to.

get that woo nice looking stuff to wear. because that's necessary to live. And cos simply to go Carnation Auto Spa. pops up quite a bit, by the way. Mhm. On. both of y'alls. This one's you. Chili's. Adobe. You're paying for something. Adobe. Crunchyroll membership. Spotify. We can listen to ads if we're trying to. get out of debt. Styles of India. Parking. And Sprouts Farmers Market. Expensive way to go about some. groceries.

The Sprouts Farmers Market purchases are. for very specific supplements that my. gastrointestinal doctor has told me to. buy on a consistent basis cuz I have. IBS. And they said get that exactly? Mhm. Okay. So, that's something you have to. get 37 bucks a month? Yeah. So, No, I. mean, I could get it from other stores. or something like that, but it's going. to be one of those more high priced. stores where they're going to charge you. like. an arm and a leg to get it. Okay. The Victoria's Secret, by the way, was. because. uh I had breast augmentation not long.

ago and I didn't have any bras. Okay. 37. bucks for supplements. Just preemptively. putting that in your budget. Cuz I'm not. going to let you get IBSt. Uh something that doesn't go well with. IBS. McDonald's. And Blue's Burgers. Chili's. Cha Donuts. Cha Cha Donuts. And Apple. Bell. Amazon. By the way, this is all. Oh, wait. Oh, we're back to you again. So, that was through your wife. Now. we're back to you. We got Chili's, Apple, Apple, taquitos, Apple,

Starbucks, parking, IKEA. Some taquitos. Amazon. Spirit Halloween. Apple. Walmart. Mexican Inn. Barnes & Noble. Love. reading, but like listen to some free. audiobooks on YouTube while we're trying. to get out of debt. BJ's Restaurant. Victoria's Secret again. Uh Panda Express. Ice at the Parks. Chick-fil-A via DoorDash. $22 for. Chick-fil-A. Apple Bell. McDonald's. Squeezed. Big. Lots.

I don't remember going to Big Lots. Oh, you did. And you spent 31 bucks. there. Okay. And it all adds up when. we're trying to get out of debt, so it. doesn't make sense. Hello Donuts. Panda. Express. Ice at the Parks. Carnation. Auto Spa again. And CiCi's Pizza. I get. it for the 4-year-old. It's fun for them, I guess, right? 12-year-old. That's for the 12-year-old. Also fun for them, probably. High. functioning autistic. It's his favorite. favorite meal of the ever. Yeah. I'm. literally pizza. I mean, come on, as a. kid dream, right? Pizza and dessert. Like those brownies that you choke on. the powder. Yeah.

Vending. Vending. Vending. Fees charges. here so far, 71 bucks. It's a lot of spending. Yeah. We have a. lot of debt. It's a lot of spending on. things that really just are not. necessities. Nope. And a lot of it's my fault, too. Yeah. Yep. So, what are your thoughts on this? I mean, you're just like, "Yeah." No, it. sucks. No, it sucks, but I've had this. conversation with myself a hundred. times. Okay. And why has nothing changed. then? Why have we not decided we're. going to mature and adult and we got to. take care of our things so that we have. a chance to retire so our kids are not. morally responsible to take care of us. by the time we're retired?

Oh my god, right? No, it's uh honestly, I've looked at that looked at myself in. the mirror and been like, "Why am I not. changing?" Okay. Well, now I'm looking. at you and what's the answer? There's. not a good one. Okay. I'm just not doing it. Well, do it. Maybe you need to talk to your therapist. about this. Maybe maybe this is a mental. health thing. Maybe it's just a lack of. discipline thing. Maybe it's just you. don't give a. Maybe it's I don't I mean, it could be. anything. You need to figure out why. you're having these issues cuz all I can. do here is lay out, "Okay, here's the. numbers." And if you won't give me. anything for why you're having the.

struggles, then there's nothing I can do. personally in terms of tell you to do. this, tell you to do that. What I can do. is lay out a household budget of what to. do, but if you decide we're not an adult. and we're not following it, if we're not. acting like we're 35 or what was it, 36? Yeah, 36. Then nothing's going to. change. Nope. It's on you to change. There's nothing I can do. I can lay out. the numbers. But it's on you after that. You're. right. Yep. And your wife and keeping. each other accountable and meeting on. this a monthly basis. Yes, mental health. things are going to happen. Absolutely.

happen. I have a panic disorder. It's. terrible. It sucks. But I also set up. barriers knowing the things that I have. in life. to make sure that if I go in a bad. state, that I don't do something that is. regrettable, you know? Yep. So, it's a a. part of the maturity of an adult is. making sure you're preemptively setting. yourself up for those situations as. well. When they happen, they happen. It. sucks. But we. don't we preemptively make sure we have. safeguards in place to make sure you. don't financially yourself.

Like you did. Oh, yeah. Now we have two. car payments, 1,400 bucks a month to. deal with because of a manic depressive. episode. We need to make this sure. there's safeguards either. through the wife or through friends or. through family, whatever it might be, to. make sure that it's not next time we. have an episode like that, which, you. know, hopefully we're working on coping. mechanisms and everything to make sure. that we can deal with it better and we. can prevent it from happening in the. future, but if and when it happens in. the future, we want to make sure we're not getting. two more new cars. Right.

And also don't bring ourselves to what? Um $31,000, $32,000 a month or $3,200 a. month in car payments. We don't need to. do that. Nope. It's on you. Okay, here's the card that we spent. We. had a balance of 552. Made a 30 dollar. payment. Zero interest has accrued. because of the remaining interest free. period, it seems. Mhm. On BrandSource. Is this also for. the house? Uh it's for. the Subaru. For the car. What? It was a.

camera system. Why? For one reason or. another, our our neighborhood is not the. safest. Well, it seems you moved into a. neighborhood from everything you said so. far. Well, I did. Well, so what happened with. that was. buy a house in a neighborhood? was a lot of changes. We had a lot of. old folks living in our neighborhood. when we moved in. How many years ago? Four. Okay, it's a quick I know. It was a. quick turnaround. A few people a few. neighbors actually died from COVID. A. few people came in and had sold out the. houses just coincidentally. Like COVID. seemed to do that to people in our area. So, now we have a bunch of like.

it feels like hillbillies for neighbors. and stuff like that. Anyways, there's a. lot of breaking and entering that. happens if you leave your car outside. Our garage is typically full of things. like cuz we're doing. uh cleaning or letting kids play in the. garage or projects or what have you. So, yeah. My car stays outside. Well, maybe we do those in the backyard. now and we put the cars in the garage. Yeah, now that we have the fence. I. mean, the camera's not going to. not Well, I guess. It might discourage it and it doesn't. Like grow others. At the end of the day,

was it a necessary expense? Absolutely. not. No way around that. I'm just thinking people got camera. systems all over their stuff in San. Francisco and the break-ins have not. gone lower. In cars. So, I'm just trying to think. Uh did you have a car get broken into? I. have. Uh twice. Okay. Since then? Hm? Since. this, have you? No. That's good. Yeah, it's good, but. like at the end of the night, you're. just like, "Did Should I Should I have. not?" Probably could have gotten away. with not. Uh it's hard to say. I would. be like, "Okay." Like we spent $10,000.

on a fence at a not great interest rate. Do all the stuff that was in the garage. in the backyard now. Put up a little, you know, uh. $50 canopy if we need to if it's a rain. thing. Cars go in the garage. I don't. know. Fair. Just alternatives. That's a. good alternative, though. Was this. impulsive? Are you impulsive? Well, I. know you're impulsive when we're in the. bad mental state, but. Generally, I'm not impulsive. I'm. extremely restrictive. Very restrictive. So, that would be why I think when I.

entered the poor mental state, everything went the other way. What about this? Oh, no, that was done. while I was manic depressed. Okay. We. can't see We can't just Not an excuse. in the future. Yeah, exactly. Oh, no, it doesn't excuse. it. It's a reason. It happened already. Yeah. We need to say in the future we. need to figure out, we need to make sure. that we're putting up safe cards. Yeah, see that's my point. Like my my. thought process is like, you know, I'm. out of the issues right now. I'm coming. back to a better spot mentally. Like, did all this happen? Yeah. Can I reverse. it? No. So, what can I do? Well, you can.

work harder to fix it and we're missing. two payments on issues. So, Okay. 1,299. on a Best Buy card, 43 cents. Also an. interest-free period. When does the. interest-free period for the last one. end? When does it end for the Best Buy? Uh BrandSource? That one ends next. August. Okay. Best Buy ends, if I. believe correctly, June. of '25. '25? So, this is the fun one. Uh the That is.

I had to buy my own MacBook because we. uh. our office supplies MacBooks, our. company does. My uh daughter and dog broke my work. MacBook and they would not reimburse me. for the replacement. They're like, yeah, no, that's on you. So, it was, you know, either don't get don't get the Maybe you. can just spend all the money on the What. am I going to finance it? I'm okay with. 0% finance, but you guys obviously. cannot manage debt. So, okay. Then medical bills? Uh upcoming medical bills? No, ones I'm.

still paying off. Oh-ho. The good news is with the medical bills, they're supposed to have been covered by. insurance, but insurance is I'm sure. everybody knows how that goes. But like. insurance is trying to find a way out of. it. So, these are tentative medical. bills that I'm dealing with. Okay. So, right now we're at 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10. 10 debts. 10 debts you have to pay off. I feel like, again, with this is the. It's the income. We don't need to look.

at our money these last few weeks. Our. past past few months I would have past. few months. I wish it was just the past. few weeks. Okay. So, we can just do. this. We can take out a debt here. We. can take out a debt here. We can take. out a debt here instead of paying for. it. We can take out a debt here instead. of paying for it. And then boom, we're. 10 debts into it. Yep. Minimum monthly. payments stacking. Let's figure out where our minimum. monthly payments land. And where we need to be in order to pay. off for August for the cameras.

It's going to be like what, 8 months. from now? Yeah, 8 9. So, that used to be. a $66 minimum monthly payment, not 30. I think yeah. Caffeine. Cheers. Okay, 66.77. + 41 +. 1407.22. + 128.7. + 164.75. These are all your minimum monthly.

payments. So, if it sounds like a lot, it's cuz it is. Plus 651. .46 +. 697.7. 4. Okay, this does include our mortgage, which is good. Uh actually, let's let's let's let's not. let's take away our mortgage. Our. mortgage uh is. 1407.22, which obviously we put in the budget. So, house. 14. 07.22.

Supplements 37. Debt minimum monthly. payments for everything else for. everything else is more than our. mortgage. More than our mortgage. Our. minimum monthly payments towards debts, not including medical bills, of. $1,971.78. is our minimum monthly payments. Not including medical debts, not. including our house. Right. The fact. that you're still smiling, but hopefully it's a good thing. Don't. take the smile as like appreciation or. approval or anything like that. I'm just. like, what else can I do? You can work and pay it off, dude. You.

said you started working more. No, we're. missing two payments. And to clarify, I did spend. Just so we. know, I got back to work like 3 months. ago. I was in the hospital mental health. hospital for 4 months. Okay. Which I I. find that. getting better. I find that acceptable. as well, but if we've been working for 3. months, this was just this was just. recent that we're missing two payments. Recent. 3 months is a decent amount of. time to at least get something on a. payment. Mhm. And I'm sorry for the. mental health stuff you've been going. through. I really am. That's terrible.

The the the point for saying that is. it's not exclusively I'm just sitting. there saying, "Hayley, how badly can I. up?" It's like there's actually. going on. Well, no, no, no, I get it. And we have the selves up rules. Right. These are the rules to not. yourself up. Does that fit in the budget? Rule number. one, you broke it immediately. All. right. None of this fits in the budget. that you're doing, the stupid spending, all the extra stuff. Stop buying cars. you can't afford. This one's a hard one. It's rule number four. You really. couldn't afford these cuz we can't, again, pay minimum monthly payments on.

everything. Don't hold credit card. balance while we're doing it. And to help you not be a up, which. is if you fall down these things, it. ends up being a. We're going to put you through our. budgeting program for free. You and your. wife go through it, please. It's the. best one that can be found online. Please just go through it. I swear it'll. change this whole situation. But we're Again, we're making just kind. of a temporary like, what might the. budget look like? So, what are utilities. across the board? Do you know? I don't.

Oh, never mind. I'm not able to help. with this part. Utility, I mean like they're obviously. going to fluctuate, but like. I could attempt if you want. I could. attempt to text my wife and read the. back. Hey, do we know roughly what our. utilities are going for? Go for it, yeah. Sure. Okay. While you're texting. Yeah, medical's expensive, but. food! Food, $816 we spent, or 16% of our. overall spending. Taquitos, $201, or 4% of our overall.

spending. Unknown shopping, usually. Amazon, Walmart. Can't really tell what. it is. That was oh, 30% or $1,511. Over that same time period? Yeah, this is all within the same time. period. Medical, 10%. Makes sense for. what you're talking about. Except for. the mortgage, all going towards that. Only 4%. of your spending. going towards that that wasn't Very. small number. Yeah. When again, reminder, 16% went to. eating out.

Taquitos alone were 4%. And taquitos are the random like like. gas station purchases, yes, yeah. Yes. So, that's not taquitos alone is. not like eating out, right? No, that's on top of eating out. On top of eating out. Yeah. Yeah, no, it's. Like your money's just going to like. instead of growing up, being. responsible, our money's just around. $1,200 in checking, okay. Some of it's. remaining for mortgage. Affirm, we're affirming things. We're affirming things. What are you. affirming? Affirm.

She's affirming? You can You guys are. not on the same page. You guys are not. on the same page and that scares me. You. don't even know she's affirming. I don't know what that is, but. Affirm means uh financing. She's. financing through Affirm or the Affirm. company. Yeah, so I know she's doing. that. I don't know what it is. We need to get on the same page. immediately. Okay, so she brings in. every other week it looks like 1499. Give or take, yeah.

Hits her account. What hits What hits. from you? Oh, I see. It varies. And then. you get uh. uh 2,448 every other week. No, no, no, no, no. That was a bonus? My That will be like overtime or some. kind of bonus payout or something like. that. But normal my normal expenditures, like after like uh I see 2,400 on. another one. That's because I've been. working a lot of time the last month. Well, you'll continue to, right? So, we'll consider that your pay then. 2,000. 2,400.

plus her 1499 times those by two. So, 7,798. should be coming in. Should be coming in. because it's really not an option at. this point. And again, we're affirming, we're affirming, we're affirming, we're. affirming, we're affirming. Then just our payments for other things. Interest? Interest paid on what? Interest paid on what? Oh, no, that was. interest coming in, thank goodness. Okay. Again, strong income. That's That's. That's going to be what carries us over. the line right now. So, Ooh. You have.

kids. Two of them. You need an emergency. fund. Not an option. What happens if you. lose your job? It's so scary. And you're you're the you're you're the. big income of the household. Mhm. I'm the breadwinner. Well, congratulations, by the way. Thank. you. It's great job. And you're working for a cool company. I. appreciate that. Thank you. Uh they. don't get to know who, but it's pretty cool. But we do. Yeah. You like your job? Yeah. Cool. It's uh if I'm going to be. honest with you, it's on the downtrend. But overall, I still like the. The company or the enjoyment of it?

Experience. The experience. Okay. Is that okay? I'm not looking to move. Okay. Okay, well, that's good. Utilities, she didn't say. Yeah. She has. not. Okay. Um. groceries. So, the 4-year-old lives at. home. What I'm doing for groceries is I'm. doing. 750. 750 should cover you guys. We spend. um. 150 a week. Sure, but remember you eat out. constantly every single day of your. life. Oh, I never I never mentioned that. We.

eat out so much cuz I'm actually. Oh my goodness. Okay. Yep. You have a lot, don't you? Yeah, okay. Uh. so, that helps you not do that? Wait, are you over this? Wait, is this. in recovery or is this like this is. ongoing? I am right on I would say right into. recovery. Ah! Eating out Mhm. for health? It Yeah, it does. It's the. absolute worst way to find help, but.

yeah. This one's new. This one's Never experienced that. before? Never like Not putting in. Not for a budgetary purpose. No, I mean. you got to. You got to start somewhere. Yeah, it's. interesting. I mean, there's going to be. people that relate to this. So, I do. appreciate that. And the openness and. honesty. I'm sorry that you go through. so much. My goodness. Well, I mean my. perspective on that is like everyone's. going through something. Nobody ever. wants to like talk about it. So, why. should I hide it? Like if it could help. somebody, if it could help me, I should.

How long have you been experiencing. that? What? Uh. 15 years. Wow. Okay. Have you recovered? I don't know the. term. Recovered and then fallen back. before? Oh, yeah. Okay. I'm sorry. That's hard. Okay. So, how much do we. um cuz I if that actually Of course, of. course. Health is number one. So, that's. why I'm actually going to be willing to. put going out to eat in your budget. For. Can I ask how that helps? It is a very.

temporary reprieve from the other. emotional and mental pressures that I. have going on. Like we have no friends, no families. Like so. Why no friends? Uh cuz I came out. Yeah, but there's there's not not. everyone. friends and stuff like that, but like. all my people I would have considered. friends or family even, like no, they're. all gone. So, it's it's my coping. mechanism. I came out in 2020 of like. publicly too. 2022. Oh, okay. So, last year? Yes. How's the. wife?

How is the wife? Doing with all that? Oh, she's fantastic. I don't know how. she I do not understand it. She figured. it out. Like she figured out her. attitude towards it and everything with. her like 2 weeks. We've had a closer. relationship than ever before. Because of that. So, yeah. I'm super. blessed. 12-year-old? 12-year-old's fine. When we came out to him, he was like, "Yeah, okay, cool. Can I go play video. games now?" Call of Duty has its ways. Minecraft is his thing, but yeah, same. same premise. it. I want to I want to dig some holes, put some blocks around.

TNT. TNT. TNT. Hey guys. So, for my. brokerage outside of my traditional. retirement accounts, when I'm doing my. single stock picks and just overall. brokerage moves, I've switched over to. Moomoo. And they're actually upping. their bonus from $400 to up to $5,000. when you transfer over to Moomoo using. my link in the description below. I've. been using them for a few months now. before I recommended them because I just. want to make sure I'm recommending the. best platform possible. And honestly, I've kind of fallen in love with using. it. And the best part is when you. deposit money into your Moomoo account. and you're not ready to invest yet, you.

get 5.1% on your money. So, it's a. pretty incredible platform to try. So, feel free to try it in the link below. Okay. Uh so, how many times a week do we eat. out? It will vary. Like what what gets. you what's Give I I'm just trying to. figure out the budget. Give me your. minimum in order to meet this thing that. helps you combat that. The number of times we eat out? Probably. five times a week. Okay. Does it have to. be specific places? Nope. In fact, we're. actually actively trying to like cut out.

eating out. Well, listen. I mean, I don't want you. to eat out from budgetary reason. If. that literally prevents you from going. into the you know, state, that's something I'm. willing to consider like almost like a. medical necessity. Uh so, if we're. talking about like like, "Hey, like. should we have this in the budget? Should we not?" I'd rather not be in the. budget. My wife's so fantastic. Cool. Yeah, but it might not be a choice. though, right? Uh I mean, technically. no, but I have I have gotten through it. before. Well, if technically no, then it's no. I. mean, technically no is no. I mean,

that's that's where the hard part comes. in where it's like there is willpower. involved and then there are like. neurochemical issues around it too. So, like sometimes I'm able to work through. it, sometimes I'm not. Well, listen. If. it was if you were more like me and you. were just being a fat. Um that's my issue. It was like I'm just. like, "Ooh, fast food, yummy, lazy." And. I can afford it. So, like for some. reason if I can afford it, I'm easier to. say no, but if it's for my health. reason, like I have a hard time saying. no. I just need to be a big boy, shut. the. and cook. That's me. You actually have.

more of a mental health thing. surrounding it. In terms of a true thing. that people go to rehabilitation for. Right. That is different. So, I it's it's less. of a hey, put on put put put your put. your adult pants on and figure this you. know? It's not that. Okay. It's difficult. So, I think it's going to be hard for us. to build a budget just cuz you don't. have eyes on all the numbers. And that's. fine. So, this is what I'm going to prescribe. you, Dr. Hammer over here.

Go through the budgeting program. Go. through the budgeting program, build out. the template with us as we build it out. with you. Okay. Um. build it out, use it. It helps calculate. the numbers. Rank your wants on it. Everything that you put in your budget, rank your wants. We have that. So, it. helps you prioritize what needs to be in. the budget. What can we lose if it Then. whatever leftover money we have, you're. working now. They're bringing in more money. And. $7,798 is good money. But remember, debt. we have about 2,000 3,500 going to on a.

monthly basis. Ooh, not good. So, that brings a big chunk away. But if. that's all that's going towards that in. terms of needs with car insurance and. utilities and internet and even going. out to eat and groceries and some things. that need to go for the younger child. Now, the child's got to get expensive. I. think that was about It was about a. thousand bucks. For the child care? It was about a thousand is what we had. 960 within the month. So, even with. that, I think we should at least minimum.

have about a thousand left over. I. really think we're going to be closer to. about 2,000, maybe even 2,500 left over. if we're minimizing our needs other than. our debts and the child care, obviously. I really think if you go through the. program, follow the steps there. I know. it's less fun for them cuz they don't. get to see it, but that's also cuz I. just don't have full eyes on the. numbers. So, we're just really doing our. best guess. If we subtract the mortgage, this. mortgage we're going to minimum monthly. payment till it's paid off. But you might want to sell it and move. anyway. I don't know, depending on the.

situation. Sucks the rate. I don't want. you to get into that 7-8% but whatever. All right. Yeah, in terms of bad. or sitting closer to like uh 117,000. That's disgusting in terms of bad kind. of high interest rate debt. It's really. bad. So, we need to attack that that. immediately. Obviously, basic math. If. we only have a thousand dollars left. over, it's going to take 117 months. That's way too long. Right. If we have the 2,000 left over 2,500. left over, which I think we might if we. minimize our wants.

The eating out is not counting in your. scenario, but cancel the subscriptions, cancel, you know, whatever. And we we. sit down with the kids. 4-year-old won't. understand. We sit down with the. 12-year-old and you're like, "Uh. yeah, we're we're in an adult language. way. Um I. would not be able to sit with down with. the 12-year-old cuz I like the naughty. words, but. Okay. Yeah, we're we Oops. Uh-oh. Yikes. I. don't want you to have to pay for me to. survive when I retire cuz we have. nothing in retirement. Oops. We can't. really spend a anymore. Woah. Because we.

need to pay off debt. Sucks. Okay. So, $2,500 goes towards. that on a monthly basis. That's still 47. months to pay off the bad debt before we. can save up a six-month emergency fund. before we can even think about. contributing to retirement, which we. need to catch up on dramatically cuz. we're in a really bad place. Uh. So, that's four years. Call it four four. years three quarters to get a fully. funded emergency fund uh total. And that's bring That's hoping there's. an extra 2,7500 2,500 left over. She.

might have to work overtime. She might. have to upgrade jobs. There might have. to be options. You might Your overtime. might need to be an extra five hours a. week or something. Whatever you can. scrape together, bring that to an extra. $3,000 a month. Either way, what you. guys need to do and it's not really an. option and that's the hard part is I'm. I'm. it's not an option. We need to get rid. of this debt, have a fully funded. emergency fund minimum before you guys. hit 40. Hit 40, 25% minimum on a monthly basis.

from both of you are going into. different retirement accounts. Roth IRA. uh. uh household income should qualify for. Roth IRA, I think. Mm, it's going to be. close. Anyway, Roth IRA, 401Ks if you. have leftover money can do brokerage. I. do. like I it doesn't even matter. I was. going to I was going to say what. programs I use, but whatever. It doesn't. matter cuz that's 4-5 years away. You. need to pay off this debt now. The bad. debt that is not the mortgage now. You. can do smallest charges, you can do. highest interest rates to lowest.

interest rate. Again, go through the. program. It'll help. It doesn't make. sense to do right here right now because. you do not know the numbers. Which is okay because you you you just. haven't been a part of those. conversations. So, that's another big. part of this. Right. It's a group. conversation. This is a group monthly. exercise. We sit down. Where did we. spend money? Where does money need to. go? We need to pay off debt. We need to. stop Now, we're adults now. That's the conversation we have on a. monthly basis. We all get number We all. get eyes on the numbers and we take care. of this once and for all. Once we're out. of bad debt, we don't go back into it.

We probably close the credit cards cuz. we're not credit card people. You can't. manage them. It is clear as day. Go through the program. Sure. Figure out your budget. Maybe you can. get out of it sooner. That's what I. don't know. But I know you can get out. of it by 30. So, do that so you have the. chance to actually retire at some point. cuz we cannot count on social security. Right. Any final thoughts? Any. questions? Uh no, actually. That's all. Just. taking the time to like go over it with. me. Thank you. Yeah, I I'm sorry. I wish. I had a more concrete thing at the end, but. we'll get there. We will get there. behind the scenes. Well, the score that.

I asked for. um. they said four, but I. in the Hammer Financial score, as it is. based off of my name, would say spending. in a budget not even close. You got only. a few percent going to debt. Just as. much went to debt as to Cheetos. It's. going to be a two out of 10. Debt is. really close to as bad as you can get. without collections or IRS debt. So, it's going to be a two out of 10. Emergency fund, there was nothing. So, a. zero out of 10. Retirement, very behind. for age. Very behind for age. Two out of. 10. Real estate, this was the bright.

spot in it. Having to put a lot of money. into it and having debt against it like. the foundation and stuff, that's going. to weigh against it bit, but I'll put it. at an average, just slightly above. average, six out of 10. So, it's going. to be Hammar Financial Score, 2.5 out of. 10. Make sure to check out all the. resources linked in the description. below. They are what I use or would use. in specific situations, including the. best budgeting program in the history of. the internet at the lowest price. Thanks. to all of our Patreon producers for. making this episode possible. If you. want to participate in an episode of. Financial Audit and you're able to make.

it to Austin, Texas, please fill out an. application in the survey linked in the. description below. You can also send a. link to your friends or family who you. think might be good to be on the show. If you have any questions, you can email. casting@calebhammer.com.