He Exploited Pr*stitutes, Now He's F*cked | Financial Audit

We know that you have paid women and. still do for the I don't pay for. nothing. They pay for me. In quote from. you, Chase lately. When these women meet. me and they talk to me and they get to. know me, the love me the right. You. think Jeff Bezos with his pretty wife. didn't have to pay her a little bit be. like, "Hey, come on date with me while I. get some.". Download my budgeting app today and take. control of your money once and for all. And for a limited time only, sign up for. the annual version of Premium and get my.

cookbook and notebook signed and mailed. directly to you. Link in the description. and pin comment. below. Hi, I'm Rico Suave. I'm 23 years. old and I live in Austin, Texas. This is. Financial. Audit. Thanks for coming on, buddy. Uh, thanks for coming in. I know you're. pretty close to the studio. So, what do. you do here for a living in Austin? We. haven't had like local in a while. Yeah, that's true. You know, actually I work. in uh real estate right now. It's kind. of my thing. Um, pretty much just making. cold calls and taking names is what I. do.

Does that make money? Um, not really to. be honest. I mean, right now I'm just. trying to get by. I mean, really it's. all about are you getting by? Uh, you. know, that's a good question, Caleb. But, I mean, I think getting by just. comes down to if you can make the. monthly rent payment. Are you making the. monthly rent payment? Most of the time. Most of the time I am. You know, I mean, there's not probably really when you. know, I'm out of money. That's when I'm. not making rent payment. I got that. That's a given. I'm asking like when.

timeline are you typically not when I'm. not uh I'm trying to think probably by. the end of this month. That's going to. be by the end of this month. It's a time. that's a chop. Why the are you doing. this bull call real estate cra? What are. you trying to be an agent? I'm I'm. switching gears a little bit. Tell me. what you're doing. Tell me what you're. doing cuz we need to position yourself. in a place where you can make money to. pay your rent. What are you doing with. your 40 hours allocated to work on a. weekly basis? What are you doing? Yeah,

what I'm doing I'm trying to think. I. mean, staying by the pool quite often, you know. I think pondering my thoughts. has been like in your job. This cold. calling [ __ ] Oh, job wise. I'm. trying to think. Um, most of the time. I'm just kind of sitting there and they. give me like a huge list. Who? What is. the job? Oh, the job. Oh, yes. What is. the job? So, it's Oh my gosh, dude. Bad. start, my friend. It's not like technically like a real.

job by any means. So, then why aren't. you working a real job? What's You know, I'm going to look for it. But you know. what? I actually have a When's the last. time you've had a real job? Maybe a few. weeks ago. A few weeks ago. Oh, okay. What were you doing? I was a luxury. short-term house manager. Okay. I don't. know exactly what that entails, but what. were you making? I was making like 20. bucks an hour. Yeah. Okay. Not bad. Yeah. 40 hours a week. Yeah. Okay. You. can pay rent probably maybe with that. depending on your rent situation. Okay.

Okay. Why'd you leave? I know. I got. fired actually. Yeah. Yeah. Why? Well, I got fired. So, uh they have. a company card which you use for the the. guests. Oh, you know, if you want to get. him like a little gift or something, but. in my case, the gift was to me and it. was chicken. Chicken nuggets. What the. are you doing? You're nuggying it up. McNuggets. You tell me nuggets are the. You got to have nuggets. I mean, telling.

you what, I can't go by without little. nuggies. Yeah, use your own money. I. mean, that's what you would do. That's. what I do. I use my own money for my. nuggies. Did I tell you about the hack, though? There's a hack. There's one. thing. Did I tell you about the hack? We've been talking for 3 minutes and no, you've not used the word hack. You. There's a good hack out there. It's. called the Door Dash hack. What you say? Is this the hack that got you fired? It. might have. I mean, there's um some. Doesn't sound like much like much of a. hack. There's some There's some lenency. involved. I mean, what happened was No,

you got fired. Doesn't sound very. lenient. It depends how you look at it. Tell me. So, what happened pretty much, you know, I was just hungry one day and. you know, company credit cards right. there. You know, I opened up the Door. Dash app and, you know, I just typed in. my information, told him I want some. raisin canes, came right on over and. accidentally use the company card. Accidentally. Accidentally. Yes. I like. to use the word accidentally quite. often. Um, so was it accidentally? It It. definitely was. Um, no. Was it. accidentally? If you like to use that.

word quite often. They accidentally. forgot to include some sausage, which. actually made the meal free, which was. good. So, it ended up going back to the. company. Got my free my free chicken. Something tells me you probably were in. the job and they used this as the final. straw and you were How long were you in. this job? I was there for about like 5. months, I think. Yeah. Yeah. Five. months. Five good months. Five solid. months. I don't think so. Are you sure. about that? I mean, I I would love to. show you my skills and actually bring it.

to your company, Caleb. And if I give me. a chance, I won't use a company credit. card for chicken. I wouldn't let you. near a company credit card. Are you being serious or are you joking? I know. I'm being serious. I mean, I'm. telling you, I got the great. personality. I got the look. I know how. to cook. Okay, you're handsome. I don't. know what cooking would have to do with. I mean, what we're doing. Think about. it. I mean, you're like I'm like, was. this like Breaking Bad? I'm like the. Jesse. You're like financial a The this.

is what financial audit. I mean, I'm. thinking about like a comparison like. the Batman and the Robin. I mean, you. could be like one. Yeah. Yeah, he's such. a good worker. I promise not to use the. company credit card yet, but if you give. me some time, put in some effort, you'll. see. You'll I Are you being genuine? I'm. being honest. I'm doing this being. honest as I can. You actually want a. job? We have like 50 job openings right. now. Really? What is You don't even. know. I mean, I looked I saw one of.

them. Oh, buddy. I think you might. You know, I get that quite often. You. know, I think confidence makes up for. the fact that I'm a little slow, but. it's okay. I don't know if I would want. the slowest among us to be the most. confident. Well, I'll tell you what. What job do you want? I want to be the. guy who just got fired for using the. company credit card. I want Do you still. have that credit card? Did you give it. back? Allegedly, the company card is. still on my iPhone still. Allegedly.

In pursuit of buying more chicken. potentially. Are you actually using it? I'm not using. it currently. Have you used it since being fired? Um, buddy off. If you off, you're a piece of. That's not funny. I'm telling you, man. I mean, you're not funny. They were. supposed to reimburse me for gas. I. mean, I'm just reimbursing the gas in. terms of food, you know? You kind of get. what I'm saying? They told me you used.

it to buy I did buy with. this. I actually did do that. I did do. that. It was good. What the am I talking. to right now? Um, you're not even close. to being considered for a job. I mean, think about it, though. I mean, mistakes. are made. Why would I hire you if you're. actually being serious, would you? You. have a weird personality. I interacted. with him in the lobby earlier. This is. him. Uh, well, I'll tell you what. Let me let.

me tell you something important, Caleb. Like Jacob Wink, you know that Navy Seal. guy? He said one time that if he had to. bring one person to war, he would bring. the guy with the sharpest sword. He. would bring the guy with the smartest. the smartest head. He would bring the. luckiest guy. And the luckiest guy tends. to be the slowest guy in my opinion. Buddy, you got fired a couple weeks ago. Lucky you got fired. Lucky is being. better than You got fired a couple weeks. ago. That's not luck. You got to be It's. It's all luck. It comes down to luck. Where is your luck? You got fired a.

couple weeks ago. I mean, I'm telling. you, man. That was there. That was on. But yes, it was on them, but it's. impacting your life. Where's your luck? What the [ __ ] are you talking about? Why. would I bring someone with a sharp sword. anyway to a war where they got a sharp. sword? I got luck. No, I know. Why would. I bring either of those? It doesn't. really make any sense, man. Yeah, I. would prefer to bring the smartest one. I'm telling you. I'm telling you, the. luckiest guy is the best guy. You have. no luck. You just got fired, you dumb. That's I mean think about how long I was.

there for. You even said you five. months. That's not really good. Five. months is great. Oh boy. So what's your. work history, dude? All right. Well, we'll have to get into that. Okay. Briefly then. I you know I've I actually. have gone five briefly. Oh, are you proud of this? I'm not. necessarily not proud of it. I mean, wouldn't you consider I need to. interject again. I interacted with this. dude outside before we started filming. This is like a real human that exists on. the streets of Austin, Texas. You know,

it's funny you bring that up cuz um I am. actually a twin. So, you know, people. might confuse me. I'm the more handsome. one obviously, but that's okay. That's. okay if anyone cares. Obviously, ladies, anyways, you said you got 50 job. openings. Which ones are we are we. looking at for myself? I think I'd be a. great sales guy. Would be you. Okay, we. have a sales one. I like sales. Sales is. great. I'm a cold caller. I'm a great. guy. I can approach anyone on the. streets, not even speaking the language. It doesn't sound like you've closed.

many, though. I mean, calling the number. doesn't seem like you push him over the. finish line. I mean, I could tell you I. I worked in uh sales before. I actually. did a little bit of uh your longest job. I actually worked there for a week doing. cold calling. But I tell you what, I was. like a phone monkey, dude. I was pushing. the buttons. I was taking names. I was. getting deals done, man. One week. Yeah. one week. But that one week was probably. the greatest of my career. I'm not going. to lie. Some people brag about 10. seconds. I brag about one week. So, let.

that be. said. Who's bragging about 10 seconds or. what the [ __ ] What are you talking. about? I don't I don't know anything. about 10 seconds, Caleb. I'll tell you. that. You know anything about 10. seconds? What are you talking about? We. could change the topic. It's fine. Why are you here, man? You know, I I know. You know, I came. here one for a job, man. You know, actually, yeah, obviously. I mean, what.

else? I mean, this is the best financial. YouTube channel. You think Dave Ramsey. would take a guy like me? Hell no. No. You think I would take a guy like you? Absolutely. You need a We need a little. person. Have I presented myself. online to suggest that I would even come. close to interacting with you in a. professional manner? I'm sure I'm Dude, I'm telling you, I consulted my magician. on this. He said to me that if I come in. with the swank, the dank, nothing but no. stank, I'd come when I get a Are you.

talking about? I'm going to get the job, man. What? What is a mag What do you. mean magician? It's like a a palm reader. essentially. Essentially, someone that. consults you and is telling you the. future. He just said to be confident, look good, be happy. Listen, I'm a. college dropout, so it is not the. indication of everything, but I have to. ask your highest level of education. Um, I did high school. High school. And I. did. Did you complete it? Mostly. I got. a pretty okay GPA. Did you graduate? Um, I took three gym classes at the end of. my Did you graduate? I did. Yes.

Do you think I didn't graduate? What the. heck? I'm asking you. I It was hard to. get an answer, surprisingly. Oh, really? I did two community college. courses, though. That was the highlight. of my career and became Spanish club. president. The highlight of your career. You know what's funny is that actually I. just realized this that when I was. Spanish club class president I don't. care. Shut the I actually really do not. care. Shut up. I actually had I do not. care. Shut up. I'm being honest. Shut. the [ __ ] up. I don't give a [ __ ] about.

your Spanish club president. I mean, this is not an interview, isn't it? I. mean, I want you to know my skills and. where I come from, right? That a Spanish. club president won't even be considered. remotely a skill. We got a couple. We. got shut the up Spanish speaking people. here. Buddy, you have a lot of high. interest debt. Oh, some family debt. Oh, yeah. We're going to talk about your. money. Okay. What's going on? Your. income's a joke. I see your last payroll. that hit. So, you're not getting paid. for this job that you're in now. No, because I have to make a deal first.

Yeah. What's the deal you have to make? I got to make someone meet with the real. estate agent and make them buy a house. Oh, wait. They have to buy the house for. Yeah. So, it's not them just meeting. with the real estate agent. Yeah, it's. essentially me calling them and if they. buy a house, you're an assistant. Essentially assistant. I mean, it's a. Why are you doing this instead of going. working at the McD's, dude? McD's. Who. wants to work at McD's, dude? Nobody. specifically. But do you want to be able. to pay rent, don't you? What are you. entitled? I've been doing I've been. doing good so far. Have you not seen You.

just told me at the beginning I told you. luck is on my side. You actual dumb. [ __ ] You just told me at the. beginning of this conversation that. you're not going to be able to pay rent. at the end of the month or beginning of. next month. I God will figure out a way, man. I'm telling you what, this brain is. filled with ideas and but even in the. most religious perspectives, it is you. putting in the effort to get there. Yeah. I mean, God takes care of it. I. mean, no, it is you putting in the. effort to get there. Even in that. religion. Are you sure? I mean, yes. It's like faith without actions is. [ __ ] [ __ ] I don't know about.

that. I'll tell you what, man. that. that's your own religion. I could close. my eyes and I get this done. I tell you. what. Okay, tell me how you're getting. it done. Um I'm going to find someone to. um get a house and once they get the. house No, no one's going to buy a house. in a couple weeks. Are you sure? Yes. There's people like that everywhere, buddy. What about you? Actually, actually, are you looking for a house? No. Why not? I thought you were in. investment properties. I am. You are? Cool. The the market's down right now in.

the stock market, so I'm investing as. much money there as possible. So, let me. ask you, if the market was not down in. terms of price, is that what's stopping. you? Is that's what's stopping? I'm not. buying in Austin. You're not in Austin. We go as far as I'm not buying. investment properties in Austin that. doesn't cash flow in Austin. Hey, you. know where the good cash flow market is. right now? San Anton. It's the number. one city people are moving to in 2025. That's where the money's at. So, Caleb, if you give me a couple minutes, I'd. love to propose you. Oh, you're such an. obnoxious Oh, you're so obnoxious. Shut.

the up. You're not going to sell a house. in a couple weeks. One, people want to. look for a little bit. It's going to. take minimum a month, and that's if they. move quick. Two, if they're taking out a. loan for the house. Well, then they got. to negotiate the purchase price of the. house. Let's call that a few weeks. Okay, cool. Cuz no one if they're. getting an investment, they want to go. and get an actual good deal, which means. they're probably going to lowball and. they're going to have to, you know, fight to get to a reasonable number that. they're going to accept. And then if. they're taking out a loan, you got to. take about another month to, you know, go through that entire process,

underwriting, and then you're going to. close the house. So, you're looking at 3. months minimum, and that's moving kind. of quick. So, how are you paying rent. again? Um, I'm paying rent by uh using. the company credit card for chicken. And. I exchanged that chicken for um dollars. and I go on the street, sell the. chicken. You know how like those people. walk down the street? I've done a couple. things I'm not too proud of to be honest. with you. I mean, I just get these. ideas. What I mean I saw these people. that sounds more interesting than. anything you've said so far. I mean. these people are selling fruit in the.

street and I was like what are you dude. that you're not so proud of? Oh, you. don't want to know about that. I do. That's why I asked. You don't want to. know that. I I literally do. That sounds. more interesting than any of the you've. been on this conversation so far. Look, I'll tell you the networking. opportunities in Austin are quite high, but the problem is is that you got to. make something happen when it comes down. to that. So tell me um you're saying all. these broad words leading to nothing. I. don't know how I'm going to bring this. up. The justing say it, you actual. obnoxious human. Oh my. Okay. Oh, I'm.

not going to make it through this. Okay, here's what here's what I like to do. So, um when you're showing up to the. ball, you know, you got to look. presentable. You can't show up solo, man. This ain'ting high school. So, what. you got to do you got to have a dime. piece to say the least. So, you know, I. just go to some of these expensive. restaurants and uh I invite um some. pretty girls to come with me and uh I. asked them just to show their face, look. pretty, look nice and let daddy do the. rest, you know. And while I'm doing.

that, I'm just getting more numbers and. uh increasing my networking opportunity. and dating opportunity. It's kind of. Wait, wait, wait. What? Wait, no. What. are you talking about? Are you Are you. serious? Are you not heard about this. before? Have you not like heard about. what before? Going to the ball and like. getting some networking done. You know. what I mean? No. What? The dime piece. The dime piece. Yeah. Like girls, you. know what I mean? Like you know, just. going out and uh getting some pretty. dates and going and uh How are you. getting the pretty dates? Well, I mean I.

tax return and uh Huh. Buddy, everything. you say makes no. sense. Honestly, it sounds to me like. you're paying women. I'm not necessarily. paying women, but I'm more taking them. on fancy dates to help me network. How. are you meeting them? I'm meeting them. through Tinder. I met one of them when I. was at the club. Um, some of them. actually live in my apartment building. Me? I mean, they they they told me you.

told them you're literally getting. hooked hooked. I don't know if I call. themers by any means, but No, but you're. literally paying women. They're telling. me right now that's okay. Hooker hot big. Is that Do you like. Kayla? I've never had. Are you sure? I've never dabbled. Are you sure? Cuz. you seem to know a lot about this. I'm. just curious, you know, because this is. the first I've heard about process. Telling me that you told them beforehand. that you have paid women for sex and.

showing up to meets. Oh, showing up to. meets. The only meets I go to, baby, is. at the club. Okay. Yeah. No, the the No, no. the networking things and for sex. I. mean, this ain't like some sex party. Hey, they're telling me you have told. them that you. pay women Uhhuh. for intercourse. I. don't pay for nothing. They pay for me. So, you're talk you're backtracking now. that you're on camera. I don't. necessarily think the word applies to.

the situation at hand here. I mean, maybe you might know a little bit more. about than I do. Have you ever heard. about taking out a girl at the ball? Have you ever done that before, Caleb? At the ball. At the ball. You know what. I'm talking about. The bell. The ball. The bell. The bell. The ball. You know. what I'm talking about there, Caleb? I. don't. I The bell of the ball. The bell. The ball. You know what I'm saying? You. know what I mean? Look at Jeff Bezos. You think that guy You think Jeff Bezos. with his pretty wife, you think he. didn't have to pay her a little bit? Be.

like, "Hey, come on a date with me while. I get some I don't think so. He's a. millionaire, famous, and well known. I. don't think he had to give money. I'm. telling you, they might hope that they. get money in the lifestyle, but you. don't have money. No, no, no, no. I want. to hammer this down. Hey, shut the up. I. want to shut the I want to hammer this. down. You're not even close to rich. You. use a magician for your advice. You don't believe in magic, Caleb? Oh my. god. I'll tell you, magic is in sales, baby. And if you hire me right now, I. promise you, I'll get every person in.

the Here's the thing. We know that you have paid women and. still do for intercourse. I wish. No, we. know that cuz you've told us that. I. mean, and you're backtracking that on. camera. And not only that, your weird. rebuttal to it cuz you don't know what. to say is that women pay you for sex. Meaning that you just said you're a. pro. I mean, if you think about it, I am. a If you think about it, you want to. know why, Caleb? You know why, Caleb?

Because I exchanged my time for money. just like any. [Music]. prostiting sense. It does. You actual. [ __ ] I like to bring the past, the. present, and the future. And I like to.

like bring them together just to get. like a even spread of life. Okay, I'm. just going to use the notes from the. conversation you had with. them because you're incapable of. sticking on a like conversational. path. They said that you moved to Texas. into a factory. Yes. and you quote said, "I was expecting to do the job on day. one, but you were grouped together with. a bunch of. trainee. and I don't know, took a bunch of sick.

sick days immediately and then you got. fired after a couple months or. something." Yeah. No, I I don't like to. use the word. fired. Yeah. I don't like the word. fired. Fired is a bad word. I I never. got fired actually. You know what. happened? I did take some sick days. because I needed a little excursion trip. to uh Cabo St. Lucas. I'm not sure if. you've heard about this. You could use a. vacation, Caleb. I don't know what. you're talking about. I mean, don't you. have some sick days to build up? I mean, this is your company after all. I would. have unlimited PTO if I was you. I mean,

we could talk about that when we get. hired. When I get hired, obviously, you. would never you will never be allowed to. step foot in this building after. We'll. see about that. A great salesman knows. how to change my Someone please let Matt. the security guard know. All right, don't worry. I already paid Matt off. It. was really easy. You're. Let's be real. If your private student. loans have you eye in a third job at the. local taco. stand, maybe it's time for a better. plan. Why refi is your lifesaver in a.

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what we're talking about. You actual Oh, you're pathetic. Are you proud of yourself? I actually. quite am. You know how in what world are. you possibly proud of yourself? I would. be so beyond embarrassed to exist in. your skin. I don't know what to do with you. Are. you sure? Well, we'll get let's get down. to business, Caleb. You know, I'm a. businessman at heart. I've been trying. I'm talking about a job that you lost. We're going through your history. I need.

to get you into a job so you can pay. rent. So, one of the the reason I'm. talking about your past work and where. your money is going because it's. important to land you in a position. where you might stay more than a couple. months without getting fired from every. damn job you've ever been in in the. history of your life because you are a. joke of a human being and have not. progressed past the age of five. I you. know I progressed past the age of four. according to my CS. Not everything is a. little joke. You I you would never even.

be considered for a job here. Are you. sure about that Kayla? cuz I think I got. I got the resume ready for you. I got. the. resume. I do. It's a great resume. Give. it to me. I mean, we'll have to send it. to you on Gmail. Give it to me. You have. a phone, you actual dumb human. You. could All right, I'll send you this. Pull out your phone, you buddy. Look how far we're going. I. don't know how you exist. I don't know. how you exist. They don't call me Rico. Sw for nothing. They don't call you that.

at all. We assigned you that name when. you walked in. You're a [ __ ]. I'm going to put the subject as your. best hire and then we're going to look. back at this as a fond memory. I'm. looking on your phone. You are not. sending me an email cuz I'm not giving. you my email address. Just we we'll use. it for other purposes. You know, we'll. give me your phone. Pull it up. You No, your resume. I would just want to see my. resume. Yes, you don't. What are we. talking about? I will send it to you. You know, shut up. You're never getting. my contacts. I never I never want to.

interact with you again after this. We'll talk about it. Don't worry. We. will not We will not This will not be. discussed. You don't know that. You. don't know that. I do. I have control of. my life. Let's look at my resume. Here we go. You're going to like this one. Ready for. that? Look how good that looks. The No. Do you have like an actual like. PDF? Let me look. A PDF. Yes. That's a. word document or something. He He showed. me. He's He just gave me his Indeed.

profile. There we go. How's that look? Wait, I got two different resumes, so. that's one of them. Give me your. preferred one. Um, this one probably is. the real one, but let me see. [Music]. here. Yeah, this one works. Let's do. this one. All right, there you go. Feast. your eyes and fantasize, Caleb. That's. my resume. immediately with the page and. the half just like everyone on financial.

a. history. The rest of it's shut the up. It's not the worst template. It's basic. It's easy. I like that. Um says that. you're still working in your last job. We know you're not. Um that's a work in. progress. I like to refer that as a. template in the business I work in, aka. life. People like this actually exist in the. world. people. This is what we're. dealing with. This is the collapse of.

our civilization before our eyes. Oh, it. was at Tesla. Tesla. Yes. You got fired. from Tesla. Um, I prefer the term let. go. Let go. Utilizing effective communication skills. to coordinate the timely delivery and. organization of materials supporting. Oh, this is such fluff. Such word. My. goodness, people. You're going to be my boss. I. don't even know what you did there. I. mean, I was doing material handling. I. was moving stuff, flexing around,

looking good. Well, I don't think you. utilized effective communication skills. to coordinate the timely delivery and. organization of materials supporting. efficient production of Tesla's vehicles. and energy. products. That is one bullet of three. bullets on this, buddy. This is it's. such bullit. I would immediately click. off and be like, what the am I dealing. with? Press operator February 2024 to. October 2024. Full Scaramucci here. What. were you doing? I was working uh I was. like making like pharmaceutical tablets.

Uh why is it press? Oh, you were Okay. Pressing. Yes. And I don't mean to press. you through, Caleb. We were making like testosterone. gel and stuff. They were making some. pretty cool stuff. there. Explains why I got all these. muscles. Buddy, you look like a [ __ ]. twink. You're just a little tall. Maybe you could use a little. testosterone gel or something. I don't. know. Maybe.

lead machine. operator. You were at that one for a. while. How many of these did you get let. go from? Um, well, those are just part. Honestly, there's another resume I have. and I've gotten fired for probably like. three or four jobs in Austin already, but I'm telling you, I know that would. not get you uh hired from a job. Yeah. You know what's funny, Lindsay? Uh, you. all know Lindsay in the post show for. those who are subscribed. One of the. producers here. Uh, I had a nice long. conversation with this guy before. She. came to me before we filmed as he was.

like spreading clami all over my. bathroom walls and he she told me this. guy legitimately thinks he is going to. impress you and get a job here before he. leaves. He actually thinks this this. human. being, light use of that. term, actually thinks he was going to. walk away with a job here. And he's. talking about all these firing things. You're a pharmacy tech at some point. That scares the out of me. I mean, I was. counting as much as I could over there.

I I I don't know how you survived this. far in life. I I think the job just. comes down to looks is what it comes. down to. No one would see you when you. were here. Imagine other than the. coworkers. Imagine people saw my face. and I had a sign that said our sales. job. No one will see your face. Why not? They got to see the face. No, they. wouldn't. If you don't see the face, I. mean, what the what are we doing? No, buddy. Oh, you're you're actually I got. to teach you some things. I mean, this. should be called financial. Yes. Let's. go over the Let's compete between the. person with the one with um uh 500 in.

his 401k. 500 bucks. You know, after 30. years, that's going to be like what is. like 2 million bucks or something? I mean that that money is there to stay. Almost got a spit take out of me. That's. money to stay. Oh my. Okay. Okay. Oh my gosh. Let's. move on. Please, for sake. I'm just reading the notes because it's. impossible to stay on track with you.

But they're telling me they're telling. me from the conversation. Yes. But who's. they? Literally the producers right next. to you. You are you stupid? Oh, I see. Okay. I was like, who's talking to you? I mean, like, this is the first time we. met. And I was like, hey, what's my. magician? He knows you. Hey, Pooky. Our Memorial Day sale is. happening right now, and it's your shot. to grab some of the tools you need to. own your financial future. Yeah. And for.

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smarter money moves today. And this deal. disappears the moment the clock hits. midnight on June 2nd. Click the link in. the description below. Lock in those. Memorial Day savings before they're. gone. Take control of your financial. future today. See you in the. classes. They said that you're. interested in enjoying Scientology or. Mormonism. I thought about it actually. Um so if you look at Tom Cruz for. example and all the crazy stuff he done, I think that's the way you get in. You. have to be you have to be adrenaline. You got to be you got to be after and.

that you're also but you stopped and you. abandoned that instead to in quote from. you chase mils lately. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. That's it right there. Mamaas vavasitas. That's what I like to say. That's my. favorite word these days. That was. multiple words, wasn't it? It was. multiple words, but I like to conjoin. it. It's called a compound word, Caleb. I know you dropped out of college, but. that's something that they like to say. Compound word. Okay. Yeah.

Okay. Now, before we move on, before we. move. on, I do want to press one more time. before we get into these documents. because what the Let's see it. I want. you to admit what we already know. What's that? That you spend money to. women. You buy women's vaginas. I'll. tell you this, Caleb. I'll tell you. this. Can you admit to it? Cuz you. admitted to it before and you're nervous. about being on camera now. I'll tell you. this, Caleb. Don't. Why don't you just. admit that you buy sex? I'll tell you.

this, Caleb. I'll tell you. this. When these women meet me and they. talk to me and they get to know me, they. love me. The pro, they get to see who I. am as a person. It's perspective. process. They don't judge me on my. resume. Hey, can you confirm their. prospective project? Let's just call. them like potential. I would call them. potential. I'm not even saying they're. not but the potential. You could call. them that's where their mind is. originally and you're saying you convert.

them. Why do you like to call them pro. so much? Are you are you sex workers? Sex workers. What term do you want to. use? Mamaas. suaveitas again with a compound word. Lindsay, how how much does he spend on? Cuz I'm not going to get an answer from. him. What do we have from our knowledge? How many does he get? Uh that's the Jake. question. That's a Jacob. What? What? What are we spending on prostitution? It. looks like he wants to find out. Shut. the up. You're incapable of answering a.

question. You're no longer involved in. this conversation. It's hard to tell, but let's guess probably minimum 400. Okay, so we're getting at least in the. last month that you spent 400 for sex. once. I mean, I'm taking them in a. month. Yeah, we know you're paying for. sex. Escortters. Escorts. Escortters. That's the word. Okay. Those are the You. use the escort services. I would like. Correct. We'll find out. Can you. confirm? I can't confirm nor deny that. information, but I can say we had a.

great time. And she walked away with. money. Oh, that laugh. Okay. Oh, boy. Buddy, where do you I'm. not going to ask your hammer financial. score. If you want the the quiz to. assess where your finances are, go to. caleb.com. And you can come on this show. by going to caleb.com/apply. All the. links are in the description. And if you. don't want to end up like a guest on. this show, all you have to do is. download my budgeting app. And remember, those who sign up for the annual.

version, get my budget friendly cookbook. signed by me, mailed directly to you. Check it out. All the links in the. description below. Oh, you're a chef. now. We made a budget friendly cookbook. cuz people asked how to stick to a. budget on $300 a month for food, so we. put it together. What's your favorite. recipe from the cookbook? Yeah. I like. the overnight oats personally. That is. my breakfast in the morning. It's very. simple and it's cost effective. It is. nice and that is what I eat every. morning. You put a little protein powder. in there. I Well, no. Why not? You got. to get the muscles. The muscles. How's.

Arms Forzing your skin? But you don't. you you're fit, but you don't look. muscular. I mean, you I haven't taken. off the jacket yet. Please don't. Let's talk about your Delta uh Sky Miles. gold card. All right, let's take a look. what's going on there. I don't know. By. the way, even with the month we're. looking at your last month where you. made your full income. Yeah. Yeah. You. still spent more than you made. I did. Oh my gosh. Well, it has to be. But it. has to be like uh the sign. It's math. It has to be what? You got to you got to.

spend money to make money. Yeah, but. you're spending more than you make. You. got to spend money to make money. And. now this month you're making zero. Don't. you spend money to make money? Yeah. I. properly invest correctly into employees. that generate good returns to the. business and I invest money into the. market or into real estate and it makes. money and it's you know I've been very. successful and blessed. Great. Wonderful. I've been smart about it. You're a [ __ ] I mean going back to. that you have $50 I think. So $50. Yes.

$50 and your sorry $500 your 401k and. your your negative your net worth is. $14,000. $14,000 that's not bad 14 is actually my. lucky number you know I think $14,000 is. really not that bad Caleb I mean if you. look at it but it's negative negative. what in terms of what net worth your. worth why does that matter you're. talking about being rich and successful. and your net worth is what you calculate. for wealth success I I mean you could.

calculate worth by multiple two things I. count I look at myself we're talking. financial worth not like self worth or. like no you're talking about being rich. and. successful yeah that your net worth is. how you calculate that oh okay your net. worth is 14 did you not know this no are. we starting from scratch here a little. bit basic bare middle school minimum. yeah I mean I'm always look in the. mirror first you know I never look down. I always look at the mirror always look. ahead is what they Okay, I think you.

should try. that. Oh, for sake. $8,55. Do you know your parents? I think. so. Yeah, I know them. What kind of. answer is that? Can you just answer the. question? Do you know your parents? Yes. Are they embarrassed by your existence? Do they talk to you? They do briefly. Um, it's it's it's a quick conversation. Yeah. How does it usually go, guy? It's.

usually like, "Hey, where's the monthly. payment?" And I'll tell them monthly. payments. Why would they be asking for I. Oh, buddy. Oh my What a joke. I'm the. What a joke. What's happening? Being the. youngest is not the easiest sometimes. You're the youngest. Don't you got. siblings? I'm the oldest. And yes, I do. You definitely look like the oldest. Yes, because I'm 30. You're 30? Oh, yes. Okay. Okay. All right. That's fine. Okay. I just just just wanted to know. All right. Well, being the youngest is.

not the easiest, Caleb. I'll tell you. that, man. Like, is it considered. objectively the easiest? What? You've. been watching Instagram? No, man. Being. the youngest is the hardest. I'm the I'm. the man of the family there, Caleb. I. got I got all this pressure on me to be. the best. I got the worry about this. I. got to worry about making payments. I. got to worry about all this. But you. also have an identical twin. So, I don't. know what this youngest thing you're. talking about is. I I'm better. I'm the. better. What that does you it negates. this whole little w crybaby.

It's like a copy and paste laugh. Copy. and paste laugh. You're laughing like. look to the side. Is there you laugh? When when do you laugh? Maybe if you say. something funny. When do you laugh? When. someone says something funny like your. Tinder profile. I don't have a Tinder. profile. That makes sense. Do you get banned? No. Well, temporarily actually. You got. banned temporarily. It got reversed. It. was some dumb was like just, you know, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. But I'm not on them anymore because I'm.

banned. Not banned. That was reversed. Okay, that's right. But because I have a. more long-term thing. Long-term thing. Long-term thing that I'm not paying for. Oh, okay. I see. Oh, but you're probably. still using like, you know, those like. Christian Mango. What are you farmers. only? I just said I have a long-term. thing. Are you What did you mean by. long-term thing? I'm seeing someone. Oh, really? Yes. Like a therapist?

$8,5549 on Delta Sky Miles Gold card. with $270 a month and 61 for your. minimum monthly payment. I don't know. how the you're even going to come close. to paying for that. New charge is. $795.66. Probably because you just don't. have money. You don't have money. So, you have to charge to the credit card. It's above the credit card limit. You. don't care about the credit card limit. You only care about the interest limit. That's what I care about. Interest. limit. Interest limits. That's not a. term. It's market research. Look it up.

What? You're telling me you don't know. nothing about this? I thought you were. the financial guru. Okay. Please educate. me. I I want to hear this. Educate me on. the the market research. The market. research says I'm listening. You get a. credit card that has a 0% APR and um you. know once that baby gets maxed out or. did get maxed out um you find ways to. pay it off or you do a transfer balance. Uh you know in the business we call that. a balance transfer. It's okay for this. to be maxed out as long as there's zero.

interest. I think it expired. Yes. I was. going to say interest is acrewing. Yeah. I mean when did that happen? Pathetic. excuse of a man. When did that happen? I. don't know. You should know. These are. your accounts. $19021 of interest is occurring. So. you're. That's a. lot. I better get this job. What job? Your job. The job you're hiring me for. I. mean, I like your shirt, by the way.

Shut up. You know what's funny is that I. feel like you look at me like that. [Music]. cactus. You think so? I mean, I could. use a little little hair and makeup, but. I mean, that's that's okay. Um, your entire market research, as you. said, suggest that this is okay as long. as it's a 0%, but it's not, and you're. above the credit card limit, which means. when fees start acrewing, how long does. this take to pay off if you do not.

purchase on it and you only put your. minimum payment towards it? Oh, god. Which you're incapable of not purchasing. on it. I mean, if we're using Dodge, how. long in human years? human years. Well, that guy is still trying to live. forever. I'm trying to think uh two. days, 3 days tops because once I get. that job, you're going to see how well. he No, you're not listening to my. question. My question was if you only. put minimum monthly payments towards it. and you did not purchase on it, how long. does it take to pay off? Not if you get. a job and put a lump sum down, which by.

the way, you don't all of a sudden get. $8,000. 60 years. Six years. Six years. I mean, okay. It takes 20 years. So, you'll be. 43. You'll be 43. Damn. And still a. joke. You are good-looking though, at. least. I mean, I don't. Can you say the. same thing about yourself? I don't know. I'm okay. Okay. That's all right. I'm just asking, you know, I mean, sometimes people have a little. confidence issue and, you know, sometimes you're okay. Again, I I do. personal training on the side. So, if. you know, you need somebody I.

can I could I could be the in office. trainer, Caleb. I get I get a little. Pilates studio in here. Oh, I get like. everyone arms up. Let's go. Let's go. Prostitutes and our back. Three, four, five. And she actually says the same. thing, too. 1 2 3 4 five. And you the. pro. Moving on. Um I could be that uh. personal trainer for the team. The best. team. We would be winning. Like winning. Yeah, I'm here already. We. keep A players, we get rid of B players.

We win. Yeah. You're an E player. E. player. E for everybody. sake, man. The fact that the the fact that you. are this is you as a genuine human. You. are never going to make it anywhere in. life. You are not you are an actual I. need you to know that you are a joke. Not as an insult, but as a hopeful. revelation to you're not cute in terms. of your personality. You are not. successful. You are not respected. No.

one looks upon you and says, "Wow, that. is someone I aspire to be." Listen, the. comments are probably tearing you apart. And typically, I would say, "Don't.". Yeah. And typically, I would tell you. not to look at the comments. I think you. should look at the comments and use them. as a work wakeup call. That you are an. actual joke and you put yourself up here. and I need you to realize that you are. rock bottom of humanity so that you can. hopefully wake yourself up. I'll tell. you what, the comment section, people. are going want to laugh at you first.

before they laugh at themselves. And. what I say to you, Caleb, is that I hope. that conver that comic section tears you. up as well, cuz we're going down. together, baby. We're in this together. Batman tearing me down for Batman and. Robin. What are they tearing me down. for? I don't know. I mean, we're Batman. and Robin. We're on this together, aren't we? Not. No, not at all. Are we. not in this together, Kayla? No, not at. all. For Titanic here, man. I thought. you were there. I thought you're gonna. be like the, you know, the you're gonna. be like the also the Rico SW. I'm happy. to support you and give you the.

resources and give you a budget and give. you what I would personally do to get. out of this situation, but I think. you're so far gone as an ex existing. human on this planet that I don't know. what to do. Your personality is Are you. serious? You're going to want to see me. work at McDonald's handing French fries. I want to see you pay bills. Why do you. look down upon them? What? Who the are. you to look upon people? Mickey D. No. one. You were making ends meet. N's meat. for for what? The French fry bag. I mean. the from the fries to the bag is the end.

of the meat. You to look down upon them. What a disgusting human you are. I mean, what about you? What do you you look. like you probably go thereing every day. I mean, I love McDonald's. I'm a fat. I. don't look down upon workers. I don't. look down upon someone who's going out. and grinding to put food on the table. for the comment section. Does he look up. down upon workers when here comes in. like all the all the little frames and. stuff? You know what I mean? Navigating. insurance feels like trying to read. ancient texts except the stakes are your. health and your wallet. All that.

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shipping on your first Factor box. That. is code 50M at factor75.com to get 50%. off plus free shipping on your first. box. Click the link below. Treat. yourself to food that doesn't taste like. sadness. And now that I'm all fed, let's. get back to the video. I have no idea what you're talking. about. No, I don't. I don't look down. upon people going out to put food on. their table for their family to keep a. roof over their head. I just don't want. that type of job, Caleb. I mean, that's. a might not be a choice. I got other.

though, man. Yeah. And you're converting. it into $0 fries in the bag. That's that. we'll wait till 40 if I get there and. then I'll start saying that. I don't. think you will. You're going to be. [ __ ] overdosed under a bridge. I. mean, at least I'll have you there with. me, right? No. Do you do drugs? No, I. don't do Well, we know you do that on. your old company's credit card. Um, medicinal. Uh, you went in, you got some. BS from the gas station. Went in and got. some BS. Oh my. Went in. What are you. stopping in and getting the gas station.

for a few bucks? What are you getting? I. mean, I get get some booze, you know? I. just I I drink a six-pack, but I booze. booze. Uh, car wash, which we live in. Austin, there's really no need. Locos. Sports. Locos Sports. Locos. Oh my god. That's the besting place on the planet, dude. It's like Hooters but like. Mexican. It is the besting place on the. planet. That's where the mamasittas are. If you go there, oh my god, dude. Hooters should have just rebranded to to. Hooters de Loa because this is the.

beautiful place to go. All right. Shingalan new something. Shri uh Shang. Shangri Shangrew man a restaurant head. shop on wheels. Halal zone. Halal zone. That's right. That's right. And. firehouse lounge. Firehouse lounge. The. Austin Shaker. Friends Bar. Kung Fu. Salon. Kung Fu Saloon. That's what I. remember. I remember that place. Beautiful place. Okay. Lot of karate.

going on. Booze and booze. Perries. This. is This is on a credit card. Yeah. I. think you like Pete Terry. You like. Peter's? Peter's is fine. You like it? What's better? Peter's McDonald's. What's your choice? Best hamburger in. the world. 3 2 1. Well, Peter's probably. has a better hamburger, but I do like. the taste of McDonald's. McDonald's is. okay. I mean, I don't I mean, it's like. a creation. It's like a science, right? Yeah. The Cavalier. Cavalier. They got some good beef tallow. fries. That's only why I go there. Lift. Door Dash Hawaiian. I thought credit card lift. Lift. Was.

that not supposed to be in the company. credit card? The Hawaiian booze booze. and Vietnamese restaurant halal shop. firehouse lounge ros pizzeria Taco Bell. la shop Axon mobile Uber trip tacos. regos el vapor. uh dama. botanicals symposium industries I don't. even know botanicals oh yum t hc.

medicinal medicinal Amazon vending. Amazon, Sunco G. Well, that's booze and. liquor. Uh, vendetting machine, vending, and prime video channels. Very good. At. least Prime Video channels, Caleb. Prime. Video channel. Shut the [ __ ] up. Interest $190 charge. And that's happened twice this year so. far. So, interest probably ended a. couple months ago. And it's at 29%. interest. 29%. Man, I'm getting I'm kind of.

getting reams in the back end there, if. you know what I mean. Do I pay for that too? Uh, no. You do. Actually, I I like how. everything I say to him, it's that no. you. That's that's your mental capacity. is to just they I'm rubber, you're glue. Everything bounces off to me and sticks. to you. You know what they say, Caleb? You point one finger at me is five back. at yourself. That's what they say, Caleb. Uhhuh. That doesn't mean I don't.

want a job. What they say? They say you're looking. to move to Mexico maybe. Yeah. Can you. can you even speak Spanish? I don't I. don't mind my way my way around. I know. a little bit. I know a little mama. suavasita unosa. A little you know I got. enough looks as it is. You don't need to. speak Spanish. Don't they say ruen to lo. pumas? I don't know what you said but. where's something? I don't know where to. tell you. Left. You're going to need.

that one there. What's that? I mean, I'll tell you. Where do all the cougars. congregate? Oh, seriously? I'm going to. keep that one. That's good to know. I. know that one, too. Do you know Spanish, Caleb? You look like you're Hispanic, you know? Nope. 25% native. You don't. 25% native. What tribe? I don't know. That's why I couldn't be free. Is it the. Is it the angry tribe? I might struggle with this one, but no. Tango Doro par Aquil. Shut up. I already.

know what that means. Elbo elimo me. Oh yeah, I already know. what that means. Yeah. What does it. mean? You're going to have to say it a. lot. Yeah, it mean. Yeah, cuz you've said it many times in. your life, right? It mean it means uh. hey um where are the beautiful girls to. hook up with? I don't know word for. word, but I know exactly. Using your. fake name and no, it's I don't have. money for rent. Can I pay you double. next month instead? Oh, that's what it. meant. Oh, that's good. I thought it. meant something else to be.

honest. Well, Spanish comes with time. Caleb, you need to know this. You mean. first grade wasn't taught in a year. It. took two years. Okay. Due d. I don't know what that means. Do you. know any Spanish? And you're actually. going to move to Mexico? I know a bit of. Spanish. I mean, I'm That's where I can. find the payday loan. Where can I find a. P?

I mean, I know a bit of Spanish. It's. always been in my heart. I love Spanish. music. I love Spanish women, especially. the mom. Yes. You've said that like 10. times. My goodness. You're a just Mexico. is great. You know how expensive is to. be in America now? It's ridiculous. But. that's also why our incomes are higher. I mean, yeah. I mean, incomes are. higher, but so is the the work time. I. mean, how often are you working? We work. a lot. I work a lot. You do? How many. hours? 60 hours. No, I don't count my. hours. Well, wouldn't it be easier to. have someone take a little load off you, Caleb? We are hiring out our manager.

And the funny thing is, you'll actually. have to pay for that load to be taken. off you, if you know what I mean. We pay. our managers. You'll pay me to come work. for you instead, Caleb. I'm going to. Before you leave this building, buddy. Normally, I'd offer a course. career certification. I just don't think. you'd make it through it. A course. careers? What are we talking. architecture? Are we talking sales? What. are we doing? There is tech sales in. there. Tech sales. I I could sell some. $1,045.93. Damn. On this Blue Cash Everyday card.

with. $41.91 cents for the minimum monthly. payment. $156 purchases. Shocker. Over. the credit card limit. Extra shocker. Who would have thought? Three years to. pay off. Minimum only. Jesus. Uh-huh. What is going on with this card? What? What card? The blue one. Oh, I'm What are you doing to me? Yes, it is. blue cash every day. Oh, the blue the. blue cash every day. I mean, that's like. the the the the booze, the budget, the.

the essentials. No, that was on the last. card. That was also incorporated in the. budget, Caleb. I mean, I'm telling you. guys, you don't have a budget. I mean, you spent more than you made. You don't. know what budget is. You never heard the. word budget in your life. You got to. spend money to make money. Yeah. What. money are you making? You're just. getting booze, liquor, restaurants. I. mean, I got some I got some stuff on the. side. Why don't you tell me? Tell me. Okay. Well, I got a friend that's um you. know, I got fired from my job last week. or whatever. I know. I actually found. someone that does very similar business. or even going to be Airbnb manager.

That's right. You're looking at No one's. going to trust you for that. You don't. You're not going to see me. They're not. going to see my face. They're going to. see the the building. You have a friend. You have a friend. Cool. Call him right. now. I'll call him. I'll call him. Call. him right now and ask ask if he's. seriously considering you for the job. 100% honest. Put him on the speaker. phone. Put the mic to here. Let's do it. I'll call him right now. cuz I wouldn't even come close. Maybe. we'll conduct a formal job interview in. the post show. You'll like me. I promise. you that. This guy likes you. You are. literally the office.

He's from the speaker. Speaker phone. right here. Put the mic here. Oh, the. bottom of the phone. Hey, what's up, dude? Um, yo, you're Yo, so you're going to consider. me actually hiring me for the the job, right? Airbnb job, right? Well, I'mma connect you to the owner. They're looking for somebody because the. current manager lives in College. Station. So, he needs somebody that he. does. Does he need someone this week? Right. I don't know. All I All I'm going.

to be able to do is just connect you. with him and then you speak and whatever. terms. Yeah. Yeah. You tell I get to. Yeah. You tell him. I'm the best. I'm on. the most on time. I'm the most. responsible. Tell them. I'm going to get. everything figured out. Um, can I ask. why why are you considering me by. chance? Why do you want to consider me? Um, you just the only person that I that. that seems interested. So, what's the I. don't I don't want to leave like. anybody. How much are you going to pay. me? By the way, I'm not paying you. again. He's the one that's working with.

you. So, what is Remember how I get. paid? How much percentage of what it is? Do you know how much that if you can. guess? Sorry. That's that's something. that you have to speak to him. negotiate. about and like say 10 tell them hey 10%. or something like 10% how many hours do. you think that 10% gets me dude you. probably won't be working much you know. once you got a system automated and you. know you probably at most 20 hours a. month 20 hours a month will I be able to. pay yeah like I said once you have a.

system in place like you're calling the. the housekeeper you know who to call if. something breaks you really won't be. doing much can I um sorry to cut you off. again. Um, quick question. Do you know. I'm Cuz I'm worried about paying rent. obviously. Do you know like if I'm about. to do this, um, is this also like a side. gig you'd consider? Is this enough to. make money on to live on? So, you make. like off of both houses you'll make like. maybe 500 each, like $4 to $500 each, but that's monthly. So, it's like a.

little side hustle. Like if you had a. job and also this, you'll you'll you'll. make enough. Okay. So, you're saying. there's enough money to made. Okay. I. like 1,000. I like that. I like to sound. that. All right. I'll I'll talk to you. later. Okay. Well, I'll send my phone. number for me and make sure you give him. a a head shot too of me. Okay. I want. him to know I look good. Yeah. I I don't. think he cares about that. He cares more. if you could like, you know, soft B. You. never know some some You never know. You. never know he's gay or not. You know, I'm just know you've been fired from. four jobs. Oh, you know. And then he.

doesn't care though. I got fired from. the last like the last company, right? Cuz I got fired. He doesn't care. couple. above. Yeah, I got fired. Oh, wow. I. bought chicken nuggets the other day and. they like were like fe mad about that on. the company card. On the company card. They were mad about that. I tried to. refund it, but you're messy, dude. I'm. not even joking with you, man. And like. I got I was like, you know, I wanted. some Chick-fil-A and they Dude, they. were mad. I don't know what to say. You've been fired from other jobs, too.

And uh I got fired from a couple other. jobs, too. So, I want to make sure this. is that's this the thing. It's not This. is not a job. You can't see it. as a. job, right? This is more like a side. business, like a like, you know, some. extra money. It's not like a job. There's no application, you know? I. mean, I'm telling you, man. I can make. this work. I can make this. We're going. to conquer Austin. We're going to become. the highrises. We're going to become the. the buildings. We're going to take over. the industry, man. I mean, we're going. to have to do a little name change, but. we're going to become the best. We're. going to conquer. I really hope you.

like, you know, start your own stuff, dude. I'm telling you, man. I'ming ready. for this. We're going to conquer the. Southwest, baby. They're going to call. us the Southwest the whatevers. You. know, we got this. I'll talk to you. later. All right. See you later, homes. Okay. Okay. How long are you going to last in. this job, dude? Dude, I am fierce. I'm. fierce. So, it sounds like you can only. make a,000 hours a month. I mean, a,000. bucks is better than nothing. What's. your rent? 1,200 bucks.

I mean, this is where you come into. play, Caleb, because And what's the name. change going to be? Uh, you know, Oh, Southwest Tweeties. I like the sound of. that. Southwest Tweeties. Southwest. Tweeties. Get Just. getting just getting cleaners. I'm I'm. coordinating, man. I'm I'm telling you, I'm I'm I'm built for this. I coordinate. with the housekeeping. You know, I got. to practice my Spanish. You know, I got. to coordinate with the guests. You know, I'm just going to be honest. They're. going to see my face. They're going to. see everything they love about me. And. I'm going to see myself, too, obviously.

How's that sound, Caleb? Look, I'm. hirable. Sounds like uh you won't last. long. I'm very hireable, Caleb. Yeah. Uber, Uber, Uber. Don't drunk drive. Uh Texas tag, the tolls that I'm not. paying tolls ever again. It's a 0%. interest until you're never paying tolls. again. Never. Never. It's waste of time. I thought this was the free state. It's. going to your credit though. They'll put. it to collections. Free state. It's It's. the you have the freedom to choose if. you get on the toll road state, you I. mean, can't you just cover your license.

plate? I mean, yeah. And get prosecuted. Yes. Oh, prosecuted. I don't like the. sound prosecuted. I like another word. that sounds close to it, but we don't. know that. We know that. We don't have. to talk about that. Yeah. The credit the. the It's literally the interest free. period on this card that is over the. balance. Mhm. Or the limit is ending in. about 4 months. Oh, four months. Yep. Four months. Well, guess how much money. I'm going to have by then? Zero. 4,000. bucks. I'll be able to pay off that credit.

card. How will you have $4,000? Cuz the. Airbnb job, man. You make $1,000 a. month, but you have to pay for rent and. food and utilities and your bills and. your minimum monthly payments. Well, that's if I don't get evicted. If I get. evicted, though. I mean, I don't have. to. What's your living situation going. to be if you're evicted, though? Um, you. going to live in your car? I mean, I. might have to come here to Hammer. Studios. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. I mean, you guys got a huge huge area here, you. know? I mean, don't you know the the. homeless people out here, Caleb? I. thought you were telling me all about.

the workers, saying I don't care about. them. You don't care about the homeless. I mean, I'm not homeless. Yeah, but I. don't think take refuge here. I don't. think that's the best use. I'll clean. up. I'll I'll take a shower. They have a. shower here, by the way. Yes, I know. We. have a shower in my office. Yeah, I got. I got some cologne you can use, too. You. could use a little cologne, but do I. stink? You like Armani? No, I have Tom. Ford on right now. Tom Ford? Yeah, it. smells quite nice. I mean, Tom Ford's. okay, but you got to get like a younger. brand, you know? Tom Ford. Oh, I just I. like the smell of the specific one I've. picked. You did? Where do you go? Scent. Bird or where do you go? Uh, I I don't.

remember where I got it from, but now I. just ordered online. Okay, I see. Well, what happens if you had someone do that. for you, Caleb? Sounds like a waste of. money. Oh my How do I get sucked into. that? How do How have you sucked me into. that conversation? I'm not going down. your rabbit holes. Capital One. Capital. Uno. That's right. See, I'm practicing. I'm learning. Learned one. [Music]. Uh well, okay. Is this usually paid off? Cuz the. balance is like nothing. But Well,

actually, you won't be able to pay it. off. No. So, it's a it's a $29 $25. minimum payment, but you won't be able. to pay this off cuz you don't make money. right now, which typically we do. You. typically that's illegal. We don't we. don't allow people to come on the show. if they don't make money. But you got. fired in between the process of. accepting you on the job and coming out. But you just saw there, Caleb, that I. was I was about I got a job, Caleb, right on the air. I got a job, Caleb. Not only that, but me and you going to. talk. He said it's not a job. You could.

define I like to I like to switch terms. around, Caleb. Okay. I'm I'm I'm. exclusive. $326 on this card. 327. Again, it'sing. booze and. boozeing. bull. Door Dash Prime Video. Popeyes, Peter's, Torches, Bat City Pies, Uber. Trip, Amazon. You're spending all your. money that you do not have. And you. spend money to make money. You don't. invest in anything business related. You. don't invest in anything self-help.

related, any education, any kind of. resources. You just invest in booze, food. I mean, you do too, right? I can. afford it. I put it in a budget and I. don't get booze or but I do get food. You put put on a credit card though, right? And pay it off every single. month. You have balances on these cards. and you also don't have an income. I do. Okay. Well, look at this this way, Caleb. Credit cards are a way to hold. your money, just like a bank account. No. So, you know, I'm going to allow you. to try to explain this. Sure. Go ahead. If you know, I got to get something to.

eat. For example, the Bad City Pies, you. know, I'm I'm just holding my money into. that credit card. That doesn't make. sense. How are you holding your money on. the card? Just holding it. Explain how. that makes sense. Please explain why. Instead of spending the $32 for pizza, I'm I'm putting you don't have that much. in your checking account. Plastic credit. card. I'm holding it. But you don't even. have that money on your checking. account. But you don't even have that. money in your checking account to spend. Freeze me up. No. You didn't have the. option to spend that in your checking. account because you didn't have the. money there. Why does that matter? Because it's not a hold. You're not.

holding money from from your checking. account by putting on a credit card and. said you didn't have the money in the. checking account. Well, it's holding. something. I'll tell you. No, it's not. holding. There's no money there that's. being held. Held. Oh, the pizza's being. holed. Is that what you're saying? No. Huh? The pizza? Because I ordered the. pizza and I holded it on a credit card. Oh, you are draining my mental energy. way too early in here. Okay, let's see. I mean, I'll tell you what. If I had. other places to hold the pizza, I would. Okay, maybe you could. Wait, I'm reading. a weird note right now. I'm reading a.

weird weird note. Well, they said your. 401k was $16,000, but I see in the notes. it's $500 right now. Oh, did you cash out your 401k? Um, you. know, when there's nothing to show for. it. There's no savings anywhere. There's. no money anywhere. Market downturn. Market downturn and uh tax return. You. sold when it went low. I got my taxes. Big taxes. What? What? Tell me anything. I I uh tell me anything, youing [ __ ]. Please tell me anything that makes.

sense. Okay, let me try to be coherent. for this, Caleb. All right. So, I was. living in Phoenix and uh I wasn't doing. super well in that city. So, I moved. back and when I moved back, tax return. came. I owed 4,000 bucks. It was on a. tax return, but yes. Um, so $4,000 cuz. you were doing a lot of contracting work. and you Yeah, that was And I got fired. from a couple jobs in Phoenix, too. I. mean, I was on a big role here. You. don't think you have to pay taxes? Nobody does. I mean, why do we have to.

anyways? I thought this was a free. country. I mean what anyone else think. like that too? I mean you got to pay. taxes. I know. The Supreme Court in like. the uh I think it was the 30s said that. income or 20 said that the income tax is. constitutional. We got to revisit that. I mean I don't really agree with no one. likes taxes. Yeah. Nobody does. Especially this guy or this guy, you. know, Batman and Raven. Yeah, I'm sure I. pay a lot more in taxes than you, but. Yeah. Well, I cuz I actually pay mine. But either way, $4,000 that's like 30%.

call. I mean, you still barely made any. money probably, but yes, I'm sure you. had just contracting roles just like. you're doing with this job and you. didn't set anything aside for taxes. When you when you're just a standard 9. to5 whatever job in your W2, that stuff. is withheld for you so you don't have to. worry about it. But when it comes to. these contract jobs where you're you're. business, you have to do that for. yourself instead. Really, you know, oh. my gosh, we're really starting from. zero. Like I was under the assumption. that you can just like under the. assumption like just like hold all your. money to yourself and going back to.

holding term. I like that term. You can. but then you have to pay the taxes. I. mean why quarterly or annually? Well. because you owe them. I mean I could. deduct it. I could What would you be. deducting? My drive here. The the That. wasn't for business. It was I'm on a. business mission right now, Caleb. I'm. on business right now. Business. Please. look into this guy. I'm calling right. here. I know you're in the comments. Oh. man. Who do you think is winning right. now? Me or him? I think me. Based on. looks in what? Looks. You know, we both.

winning what? We're not We both have the. same shirt, though. I like the shirt. You got a good color there. The cactus. We're not in a competition for anything. What are you winning? I thought this was. like a I don't know. I don't know. I. thought we were I don't know. I'm just. saying I'm the better looking one. Okay. Yes. You're You're more fit. Thank you. For sure. You're good looking, too. And. you're younger. Thank you. Well, yeah. I. mean, I'm certainly not ugly, but I. definitely could lose weight. That's for. sure. I can help you with that. I just. don't want to interact with you. So, no. I tell you what, imagine me running. behind you telling you all about my.

financial problems. You could probably. run four or five miles a day. They're telling me you you pitch them on. an idea where I. have a competition for who pays off. their debt the best. I don't know what. the best means. And the reward is a. vacation. I assume you want to compete. in that. Yes. Yes. But what does being. paid off the debt the best? Oh my god. Here's the idea. It's like almost like a. game show. Like all of like the people. on financial audit. Whoever like can.

sign up and commit to paying off the. debt. Whoever, you know, they do that on. top gets to go to Cabo. The rest of them. do that on their own because they're. adults. Inclusive. All inclusive. And I. get to select a location, of course, cuz. I'm going to win. Is that where your. favorite prostitutes are? I don't know. I've never been to Cabo. You haven't. been there? You got to check it out. It's It's quite quite fun to be honest. I'm not really a drinker like you. though. That's not my lifestyle. You. don't like that? I mean, I'm telling. you, you gota be free spirited, Caleb. You got to let go. No, it's not my vibe. I have an addictive personality, so I. know not to really get in there. What. does addictive personality mean? I fall.

into habits and addictions very easily. So, you're mid and you're user. No, I. specifically stay away. As soon as I. walked in the building there, I saw your. eyes. You looked out of it. I was like. concerned. Tired? I am tired today. You're tired? Okay. I didn't sleep very. well. I'm I'm just going to jot that. down. Okay. Well, what? To see if I get the job. I. So, I still don't know what paying off. the debt the best is yet. Okay. Get down.

back to business. All right. You wrote a. parable for the application. A parable. for your application. For your job. application. This is my favorite. I'm. allowing you to actually do this. And. yes, I have to say once again, this is. 100%. real. 100% real. All right. And iting. blows my mind. And go ahead. I haven't. heard this, but it just blows my mind. that you are an actual human that exists. like this. And you think it's a good. thing. Okay. Once upon a time in a cozy.

village nestled between whispering woods. in a sugar dusted hills, there lived a. curious little boy named Luigi. Luigi. had a wild imagination, a big heart, and. an even bigger craving for cookies. One. sunny afternoon, Luigi wandered into the. village bakery. The scent of warm simon. melting chocolate and buttery dough. swirled through the area like a spell. His eyes sparkled at the sight of the. golden cookies stacked high behind the. glass. But when he reached into his. pocket, oh no, he did not have enough.

coins to even buy one. He ran his mother. with hopeful eyes and asked gently, "Mama, may I have some coins for the. cookies?" She smiled and said, "Not. today, my love." Just as Luigi turned. away with a heavy heart, a man appeared. in a coat made of patchwork velt and. shoes that twinkled like stars. "I saw. what happened," the man said kindly. "I'll make you a deal, little dreamer. I'll give you all the cookies you your. heart desires. All I ask for is one. small nickel each time you borrow a.

cookie. That's it. Luigi Luigi's eyes. lit up like fireflies. "Deal," he said. And so began the sweetest chapter of. Luigi's life. He He munched on cookies. morning, noon, and night. He learned. everything there was to know about. cookies, the flavors, the bacon, even. the business. He grew around and jo he. he grew round and jolly and and wise in. the ways of sweets. But one day, as he. flipped through the pages of his cookie. ledger, he gasped.

He owed more nickels than there was. stars in the sky. The weight of the. cookie deck grew so heavy he felt like. dunking his head into a giant bowl of. steaming milk and floating away. Understandable. And in the moment, Luigi. learned a lesson that stuck harder than. the caramel on a cold spoon. Magic. cookies are sweet, but borrowed bites. are can lead to bitter crumbs. So, dear. children, never borrow what you can't. repay, especially when cookies are. involved. The end. Okay, great. So, you.

wrote that, but you don't live by it. Not for a single second. I I dream by. it. So, what the are you talking about? That is the most pointless [ __ ]. because you don't do anything. Why? Why. be a inspirational person that preaches. all this stuff and then doesn't do it? I. mean, I'll tell you because dreaming is. better than doing sometimes. No, it's. when because it's the goal. It's the. idea. Yeah. A goal without action is. nothing. If you don't have no north. star, how are you going to walk towards. you don't follow it? The Northstar takes. time to kill. You see the Northstar and.

then you avoid it at all costs. Just. like the the the bear says, the lessons. learned once the cookie debt's too big. in this case. And your cookie debt is. too big and you have noing nickels. I. got a couple bites left. You have no. nickels. You got a couple nickels. No, you have nothing. You literally make. zero nickels a month. Once again, we. have a job offer and kind of they. specifically said it's not a job. You're. going to have to be the one out there. hustling, working 20 hours a month for. $2,000. Good luck. That's good luck.

Look how good that would be in Mexico. That's amazing, dude. I could rent a. villa for that. You could come join me. We could do a financial audit in Mexico. We could actually interview Mexicans. over there. That sick up. That could be. a cool job. Oh, I just got to move. forward, man. I got to get through this. You're a horrendous existence of on this. planet. And the fact that you're like proud of. this existence kills me. Normally, this.

is also when I recommend the Fizz Card. or Sandermind for therapy. But. again, I don't want to put a therapist. through talking with you. And I don't. want you to get anywhere near a fizz. card. You're That's funny. Yeah, it's. kind of funny. You could have the therapist. Is that. okay? [ __ ] off. I already do. Power. play. What is this? Power pay. Power. pay. Oh, that's a that's a good. question, Caleb. Well, I got a little. work done to say the least. A little. work done. A little tweaking, a little. little maintenance. Yeah, a little.

maintenance. What? It was uh called Cool. Sculpting. Have you heard about this. term? No. It's pretty much to make your. um your uh the fat on your body, especially for males cuz we get fat on. our our abs and our love handles. uh. they use like a freeze gun and they like. stick it on your fat and it like. literally melts the fat away from you. using like sub-zero temperatures. So I. got that procedure done and I'm waiting. on my next Yeah, I'm waiting for my next. session at the end of the month. How. much did you lose? Um I actually pretty.

much going to have abs at the end of. this. No. How much did you lose so far. from your session? The fat. The fat. Oh, pretty good. Like I was already in good. shape. How much did you lose? What do. you mean lose? The fat. The fats. You. paid for the procedure to lose the fat. How much did you lose? I don't know. Probably like 5 10 lbs or something. Really? Yeah. Hey guys always ask me, Caleb, what do you invest in? And. honestly, I keep it pretty boring. Take.

a look at this. Take a look at this. This is my investments right here. And. this is why you got to follow me on. Blossom if you want to see just that. A. couple weeks back, I stumbled upon this. social investing app called Blossom and. thought, "All right, let's give it a. try." And it turns out, it's actually. really cool. And to be clear, they're. not a brokerage. Blossom is a completely. free social media platform. They're not. your typical investing app. It's social, meaning you can follow exactly what I'm. investing in, and you can check out my. portfolio in real time and even discuss. strategies with me and other investors.

There's no guessing games, just clear. transparency. So, if you're curious. about how I'm investing or just want to. get smarter with your money, download. Blossom right now. And you can follow me. at Caleb Hammer. I'll be sharing my. exact portfolio breakdown, investing. tips, even responding to your questions. It's totally free, super simple, and way. more fun than just guessing stocks. alone. So, hit that link below, join me. on Blossom, and let's grow our money. together. Seriously, right now, you can. actually see what my portfolio looks. like today. I don't believe you. I could.

recommend you. I mean, I got I got If it. was real, I'd use it cuz I got some but. I don't believe you or trust you. Extremely painful. You might want to get. some weed with it cuz like they'll stick. this thing on you and just a you're like. dying there in the chair and like you're. having all this like lube on you and. you're like, "Oh my god." For how long? It's like 4 hours. Okay, never mind. $2,657.665 is what's owed for this. You. borrowed it at a 15% interest rate for. thising freeze. Hey, you know that I I.

did that right though because they asked. me who was in my household. I would have. gotten a better interest rate, but I. said I lived alone. So, I was I was a. good person. I do live alone. So, you just answered you. It just. answered the question. Okay. I said I'm. an honest guy, Caleb. That's why you got. to hire me, baby. Uh, okay. You need to. be honest to yourself about how much of. a joke you are. Oh, it was an ad on. Instagram. Great. Okay. $6562. 65% off, actually. 65% off the. procedure. 65% off. Yes.

$65.62 is your minimum payment. This is. going to be paid off in basically never. with that minimum payment and with the. interest rate attached to it. Gooding. luck, dude. What a joke. I could get. you. You're a joke. You want to meet. with Dr. Nope. No. She would like to. consult with you. Don't give a not. getting you whatever commission you're. going to get for that. I mean, it'd be. good. Truth and lended. Okay. Yeah. Uh, from Lead Bank for what? What is this.

for? Lead Bank. Oh, I think that's the. my real estate license. I'm trying to. get my real estate license. 30% interest. rate. What? Wait, is that 30% interest. rate? Yes, you What is it? How much is. it per month? Uh, 2620. Oh, yeah, that's. the real estate license. Yeah, that's. with a firm though. But fin Oh, you a. This is a You affirmed a real estate. license. Yeah, I did. Okay. Balance uh. 314. I'm going to become the best. apartment locator the cities have seen. I'm going to You're just helping people. find apartments? Yeah, it's apartment. locating, baby. It's working. I don't. think people really do that much in.

Austin. It's not New York or San. Francisco. I am telling you, I use an. apartment locator. Just go on Zillow. You don't need Zillow. You need me. That's what you need. Why would they use. you? Someone that's slower than them. That's a That's a good question because. Oh, here he goes. There's a lot there's. a lot on your plate, Caleb. You know, you know, there's places to live, there's places to see, there's so many. things to go to, but the problem is that. you don't have time to figure out what. you need. And so when you got a guy like. me on your back, a [ __ ] Yeah. No, no, not a [ __ ] And when you got someone.

like me, I'm there taking care of you, Caleb. I'm looking for the deals. I'm. finding you the special places, man. But. you're also dealing with other clients. I'd rather look at my own pace and go on. Zillow and see a thousand apartments in. one day. Are you serious, Caleb? That's. not effective, man. It's not effective. I've been pretty okay with u my housing. situations in my life. Are you sure? It. could be better, though. I mean, I don't. think so. What's the biggest thing. you've looked for in your house? What's. your real estate portfolio worth? Um, $4. off then. I mean, I could help you, Caleb. I'm.

telling you, even finding a house is not. as simple as people think it is. I think. I do pretty okay. How do you find your. house? What's your real estate portfolio. worth? $9. [ __ ] off. Do you see how big it's. We're not comparable. You're not. comparable because you haven't worked. with me yet. I don't play the big dick. contest cuz I don't care about that kind. of. That's not what I do. However, if. you're going to come here and say that. you are the authoritative figure on. this, I'm going to pull the big dick on. it. Okay. Oh, really? It doesn't look. that big.

What? What? I don't What? What? I don't. know what you're talking about, man. You're doing the rubber glue thing. It's. so silly. Yeah, I mean I mean shut the. up. You are an actual elementary. schooler. I did graduate elementary. school. I know the song, too, in my. elementary school. It's pretty cool. I. love that song. Glad you walked away. with that and not any life skills. Except good looks. It's not a life. skill. Personality. Your personality is horrendous. That's. what you need to be a realtor. K. But. you have to pay for sex. I don't need. to. Even I'm fat and I have you know the.

my sex is like I've never struggled with. that. Let me let me guess her name. Right. Angela or Ley? Huh? Oh yeah. That's Is that their name? Just curious. Curious. Very silly guy. Yeah. Okay. I don't know, man. Helping people find. apartments. Like, I could do that, man. I know some people use it. It's just. it's I don't think it's as big of a. thing in Austin. And I like Good luck. I.

mean, I could There's so many services. out there that are just online. You can. browse. And now they have the self. touring for apartment buildings. Self. touring. You haven't even seen this. Look, this is the industry you're trying. to get into and you're not even aware. A. lot of apartment buildings around here. You scan a QR code in front and then it. unlocks a unit that you're able to go. into and just view what the apartment. looks like and see all their amenities. Yeah, well, they don't need you anymore. You're outdated. You're a dying breed. Damn. Didn't like to hear it that way, Caleb. It's true. I'll tell you what, Caleb, in sales, we learn not to quit.

We learn to persuade and ask questions. Yeah, but you also learn to game the. system. And your system's dying. You. need to go to a different system where. you can actually make money. This feels. like that moment when that last Top Gun. movie came out and the sergeant said, "You're a dying breed, Tom Cruz. You're. a dying breed." And he looked at him. being like, "Okay, we you love Tom Cruz. We We know. We've learned." He's a. Scientologist. I That's the reference I. was making. And then we have a note that. you owe your mom and dad $2,000 for a. car loan. Mazda 2 green. Yeah, that's.

the best car on the planet. That was my. dream car when I was 12, dude. I'm. serious. I think it's a man. 25 now. Green's my favorite color. I mean, look. at that. Look at that. Look how nice. What kind of car you have, Caleb? Tesla. Tesla. What kind of Tesla? Model X. Model X. I don't even know what a Model. X is. Okay. It's the premium SUV. Oh, the SUV. Oh, I see. So, like what do you. what are you what are you doing in that. thing? I mean, drive. You drive where, too? Work. Restaurants. I went to San Antonio.

this weekend. Oh, San Antonio. Okay. Well, I'll tell you what, Caleb. I mean, I know you got a lot of sightseeing to. do these houses you want to build or. whatever, but I'll tell you what, if. someone was doing the driving for you, like me, I could find you the best place. to live. I would not trust you behind a. 0 to 60 in 3se secondond car. They. didn't either, but um who who's they? They uh that's that's redacted. information. Um Oh, right. When you. worked for Tesla? Yeah. You don't know. what a Model X is and you worked for.

Tesla? They have five models. I only. know the model and that model was. me. You are such a joke. You are such a. embarrassment. You owe 2,000 to your. parents. It's for a car. What's your. minimum monthly to them? I haven't paid. them yet. Wait, when did you get this? Um, I think it was like uh couple months. ago or four months ago now, I think. I. think it was four month five months ago. Yeah. Okay. Who do you talk to the most?

My my mom. Give her a call. Ask Ask her. how she feels that you haven't made any. payments yet. I'm not sure if she's. available. Give a call. Call them both. Yeah. I'm making you confront some for. what it's worth. It's worth about. $3,000. So, you do have $1,000 equity. position in. it. Let me see if I can reach out to. her. Call. her. Call her. Okay, let me call her.

Hello. Hey, Mom. Um, so remember I was. telling you I was on that uh podcast. Uh, I just want to let ask you about. something separate from all the other. stuff happening. Um, they want me to ask. you how do you feel about me not making. the monthly payments yet? Uh, with the. car that I have uh that I asked I. borrowed money for you and dad from only. that. I'm only we're only asking about. that.

Oh, she hung up. I'd hang up, too. Oh, man. Ask your dad. Call your dad. I don't know if Call your. dad. You don't Don't give him the whole. winded thing. Just ask them how they. feel that you haven't made a payment. Okay. I doubt that's the first time she's hung. up on you. And the other dude hung up on. you, too. No, my dad's working right. now. I don't think he can. What does he. do? He's a software developer. Okay, call him. Oh, they don't do anything. anyway. Hey, Mom. Are can you see my text?

No. Okay. Um, so I'm on a podcast right. now. Okay. Um, just ask the question. What? Okay. So, um, I have to ask you, what do you. what are your thoughts about me not. making the monthly payment on the car. yet? Not making a what? The the the payment. I'm supposed to pay you guys for the. Mazda I. got. What are your thoughts on that? Um, I don't even know. I mean, it's I.

don't know what you do with that. I. mean, I don't even know. Oh, so I just. got to deal with that. Okay, sounds. good. All right, I'll talk to you later. Call Papa. I'm not going to call Papa, dude. Call him. Big Bear is too much for. Little Bear. Okay, call him. We're not. going to call him. I'm telling you to. call him. Call him. I don't think we could call. him, dude. He's He's actually working. right now. Okay. If he doesn't pick up, he doesn't pick up, but call him. Okay.

Okay. [ __ ] sake, man. You owe him 2,000 and you're not paying. them. What's the agreed upon minimum of. the payment? I don't think there's even. been agreed. Call. him speaker to here. Don't open with the longest. Ask the. question. Hey. Hey, Dad. Hey, Dad. What's up, Dad? Um, I was curious. What.

do you think about that monthly payment. I stole you guys on the Mazda 2? Well, you know what, pal? I don't know. I don't know what to. make of it, man. I don't know what to. make of it. Am I in trouble with you. guys? You and mom? We definitely have to talk later about. it. Okay, but I'm your still favorite. I'm still your guys' favorite son. though, right? Of course. Oh, sweet. Yeah. Thanks. Of.

course. Give me this. Give me this. Open. it. Open it now. Open it. Open it. Okay. Open your phone. There it is. [Music]. He didn't call his dad. He called. someone named Tony. Main man. Tony, I knew it. You You are such a little You. are such a joke of a human. You didn't.

believe me. How's my dad, man? This is. your dad. Oh my. god. If he doesn't pick up, it's okay. Hello. Uh, Dad, what what are your. thoughts about me not making the monthly. payment on the on the car yet? Not me. not making the monthly payments. on the car. I'm on a podcast right now. Why? Because I want to I want to find. out. What do you think about me not. making the monthly payments on the car.

yet? Call me more. It doesn't mean anything. I guess I don't I don't understand the. the question. Okay. So, should I make my. monthly payments or should I not make my. monthly payments? Have you never made a. monthly payment? Yeah. The fact I. haven't made monthly payments yet to you. guys. Well, what do you think? think I would. think. Probably not good, honestly. Ask. him how much he wants a month. Look at. there. You didn't even need to call me. for that. How much is it per month? I don't know. How much is it per month?

Why are you asking me these questions? I'm I'll talk to you, Dad. I I just. texted mom about it. It's a podcast. I'll talk to you later. Okay. Mhm. You're And you deserve it. You deserve. that competition. Exactly. And you. deserve it honestly because you're not. willing to deal with your ever your. ever. You're not able to deal with a. single thing. You're an immature little. brat. You are a joke in this world. Okay. And you call someone else to try.

to get out of it. You you're you're a. joke. You wish I was a joke, Caleb, but. when I when I shut the up. I'm We're. going to send this to your parents. No, you don't. Don't send. Yeah. We're going. to send this to your parents and they're. going to see that you pay for sex. Oh, you deserve it. Normally I'm not like. exposed the guest and this kind of. stuff. You deserve it. You obviously I I. mean I should have exposed you too, Caleb. You know why? Why didn't you. expose me before? Go ahead. When you. walked when I walked in the building, I. I saw you. You were redeyed. You were. like all over the place. And I was like, Caleb, I'm is this Hammer Studios? And.

he's like, "Yeah, it's Hammer Studios.". So you have to make up as surprised as. you were. I was like, "All right, let me. just go and do my thing here tonight." I. didn't see you until you went to pee cli. all over our bathroom walls while I was. trying to get myself a coffee. Only only. you would know what chalam media would. look like. I mean, are you a doctor or. something? I mean, I So, were we doing. the rubber glue situation again? What's. rubber glue? Is this hard? Glue. Everything I You say bounces off me and. sticks to you. Oh my god. That's all you. do, buddy. That's the only You wish. I. wish. You wish. Yeah. Just again. You're. doing it again. That's all. That's your.

only comeback. Yeah. You wish. You wish. It's okay. You have never left the. playground. I haven't because I'm always. having fun, Caleb. Unlike you. Because. you don't exchange your time for money. You need people to take some of the. stuff off your plate. I'm hiring people. right now. We're hiring like a dozen. people. You dumb. You know nothing about. our business. I know a lot because I'm. going to get into it. I'm going to. You're not going to ever be allowed near. this building. If we see you entering. the complex, our security guard will.

pull out his gun. What kind of gun does. he have? It's a pistol of some kind. What kind of pistol? I set up some kind. cuz I do not know. Really? Yes. Okay. Well, I'll tell you what. It's. concealed. Do you know how to how to. disarm someone with a pistol? It's quite. easy and fast. He's trained and I don't. think you're going to be even close. You. won't even be close to him by the time. you know a bullet is left his barrel. Yeah. Well, I'm fast as Okay. You own. medical bills? Yeah, dude. There's actually some some good.

reason for those medical bills. There's What brain injury was it? It was. the the the brain injury. I got like the. Mozart brain. I got like a creative. creative mind. No, I feel like your mind. like is like stalled. I feel like your. brain is like really like like put. together, but like you're like kind of. like like a dim way. Oh, you are just. the most moronic mother. All you do is. just when you don't when you get a. little bit of push back, you just do the. immature little insult things. And I.

love a good immature insult, but you do. it so poorly. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Yes. Okay. Say it one more time. What's the medical bill for you? Oh, well, um, I had ADHD, but I cured. myself. I cured this myself. Moving on. Shut the. [ __ ] heard of magic mushrooms. You ever. heard of what's in your checking account. right now? Uh, it's, let me. check. $329.

It's a new savings. $32. Okay. Okay, so it's all gone down from. here. We're getting Starbucks, Chipotle, even though we're fired. Booze and. liquor. Oh, liquor anding smoke. Whatever. We do that like five times. McDonald's. Booze. Booze. Booze. McDonald's. Booze. Venue. Not out money. Probably. Torches. Smoke shop. McDonald's. Liquor. Liquor. Liquor. Liquor. Door Dash.

Benway. Not money. Liquor. 77° liquor and smokes and liquor and. smokes and liquor smokes. Liquor smokes. Lickor smokes. Lickor smokes. Learning. out money. Lime payoff. Lime payoff. What's that? I don't [ __ ] know. Stop. talking. Galaxy liquor booze. Liquor. booze. Liquor booze. Smoke shop. Lime. ride. Tacos. Tacos. Ricardo. Champs. [ __ ] liquor. Smoke.

Liquor. Smoke. Stop. Stop. You're. annoying. Liquor smokes Domino's. Door. Dash. Door. Dash. So, you pulled for the 40K again. I need to hear about that cuz like what. did you even use the money for? I used. the money to pay off all the credit card. debt I had and then Oh, and then it's. all back up. Great.

Yeah, I it's kind of like a piston. You. know how pistons work? If you put. pressure on one, the other four raise. You know how they they design cars like. that or whatever? I think it's the same. thing that happens. Like I put pressure. on one thing and the rest of it just. raises. So like I think I focus too much. on my finances sometimes where it just. like stresses me out. And being 100%. genuine right now. Yeah. I want to see. exactly what this says. The last uh. escort is the term we agreed on that you. slept with. Uhhuh. Show me her picture.

100% serious. And don't [ __ ] around. I. want it to be the real picture. Your. phone's on the table next to your kids. drink. Sweet. Who doesn't like Kool-Aid? It's Capri. Sun. It's not Kool-Aid. Let me look. I want this to be real. You. better not. All I know you've only. deflected lied even about the people. you're calling like. I'm looking right now. Yeah. How do you. find them? What are you where are you.

looking to get the picture? No, they're. just my contacts. Where? Okay. So, it's. in your contact. Yeah. Okay. So, you. pulled her off this Can you tell me a. genuine answer? Genuine. Where do you. find these escorts? I don't find them. Come on. Give me No, tell me the real. answer. Okay. Okay. So, at my apartment. complex, there's like a a huge like uh. been like bust apparently of like all. these like are over there. And so, when. I found out about it, like they all go. by the pool. And so, when I go by the.

pool, like it's just a casual. conversation because they know what. you're looking for. And so, show me show. me the picture. I'll show you. Give me a. second. I want to see what our looks. like in 2025. I'm not going to get a budget out of you. cuz you're a joke, but at least this was. an entertaining conversation for the. audience. We did it. I I I made it. through for you, but I've reached the. end. We're going to look at a pro. And. then in the post show here in a second, I'm going to bring in my number two in. command who does first round interviews. I do second round interviews and last. round. Uh we're going to bring in we're.

going to conduct a actual formal job. interview with him. And then we're going. to bring in some extra tea that the. producers have as always. So, make sure. you join that. Now, let's take a look at. this. I'm trying to look. Do you. remember her name? Uh, no. You just. stuck it in and gave her money. I think. it was or something. Was it Maria? Wait a second. Well, you know you can. type in that name and find out, right? Oh, know where to find her. Okay. Where. is she?

[Music]. Right. Oh, she's a mil. Oh, she looks like a pro. And we're not going to put the picture. on the screen cuz I don't want people to. reverse image search and find her. But. she's caked and Okay, tell me how much. did it cost? Actually, um, tell me how. much did it cost. No more around. answers. Give me the real answer. 300. bucks. Okay. What did you do for $300?

Um, I got to make out with her and then. she did a little a little something to. my my my special Okay. So, she blew you. Yeah. But you didn't have sex. No. Okay. She's the CEO of a company. Let's It just links to her own. Instagram. Okay. Let's see what her. company is. Salon. Let the salon come to. you. Yeah, I'm sure that's what she does. when the salon gets to her. It must be a. cover. Yep. Oh, no.

Um, you know it's a cover because she. sent you the. link and you said. sweet a sunglasses emoji. Me too. Uh, and then you guys talked about. someone you're going to love your. haircut. I've heard that before. Can't. wait. You. say concier services, book uh messages,

makeup, hair, caterings, chef services, all the things for condos, highrises, hotels, man air entities, and. Airbnb. You may be free tomorrow for the. haircut. What time tomorrow? Can you do. 2:15? Hey, hey, text my work for a haircut. Yes, this is how normal people uh. communicate. Okay. Hey, I left a. message. Oh gosh, I saw.

it. I need a haircut and and he knows. who can do it best. Winky. face. You Wait, did you guys ever. because you've given her a lot of. messages she hasn't responded to. No, that's like um cuz like we were talking. cuz she is at my um my apartment. complex. So, like we went by the pool. and then you deleted her text messages. Okay. Okay. No, that's what I was.

looking for, but I didn't see it. How often do you do it? How often? Like. I don't really think Come on, man. How. often do you do it? How often do you do. it? Like I do like once a month. You. don't Is it because you can't get any? No, that's what people that get pro do. it for cuz they can't get any. Again, I. am seeing someone I do not need that. And even before, I've always at least. luckily been able to, you know, get. people that I'm attracted to. Yeah, me. too. I mean, but sometimes. Yeah, but.

how often do you do the process? Once a. month. Maybe. Once a month. That's. crazy, buddy. You know, that's crazy. Why do you do it? I don't know. No, come. on. Why do you do it? Probably for urges, you know. I don't. really care. I mean, it's it's just one. thing. I mean, what do you think about it? I mean, it's. not even that I think about it. I think. about it that it's illegal. And I think. about it, I would be okay if I know for. a fact that they are not in a situation. where they're being controlled for. someone, where they're in fear for their. life, where they're not being. trafficked. I would only ever be okay.

with it in society if it was like. regulated in a way where they're safe. and they're good. And then I don't care. what consensual adults do. But the fact. is a lot of people in those situations. are usually in a sketchy situation. Listen, you're a piece of you're discussing. You're a joke of a human. We're going to. go to the post show. We're going to. conduct a formal job interview and talk. about some extra tea that the producers. have that I do not know. So, make sure. you guys join that. Hammerly is the. version with thousands of hours of extra. content and a lot of other shows that I. produce behind that. And make sure you.

download the budgeting app if you don't. want to turn out like him. Actually, I. don't think it's going to save this kind. of case. But remember, if you sign up. for the annual version, I'll send you. the cookbook signed and mailed directly. to your door. Join us in the post show. He legitimately 100% 100% wants a job. here. This is real. Okay, I will let. this be a real job interview. We can do. it full real. Sounds good. Robert. usually does the first round. I usually. do the last round. We'll do a cool. little interview thing here. All right, man. Let's start with your name. Exclusive members content. Click the.

link in the description or pin comment. below and watch thousands of hours of. extra and uncensored content.