YOUR VOICEMAILS ARE OUT OF CONTROL | #25 | Bangin’ Out w/ Kayla Malec & Jacob Sartorius

Who do you think our new enemy would be? Who would be guilty in like a few. months? Who's Who's our enemy? >> Who do you think we're gonna have beef. with? >> I don't know. I think maybe. >> I think we're gonna have beef with the. >> BANGING OUT. >> GUYS, WE GOT NEW MERCH. >> This is legit. >> Banging out university. >> No, that's sick. >> This one. This one. This one. This one. This one. >> Yeah, that's fire. I love the yellow. >> Wow, this is sick. >> The purple is really cute. >> Yeah, this looks so fire. Like you go to. Banging Out University.

>> It says Los Angeles, California. Banging. since 2025. >> That's going to feel old one day. >> Yeah, that's crazy. >> So if you guys get these, that's like a. collector's piece. And all those are out. now on bangingout.com. Welcome to the. court today. I am Judge Jacob. >> And I am Judge Jayla. >> Judge. >> Ow, my forehead itches. >> Judge Jayla. Judge. And that's both of. us. >> Oh, no. I want to be Judge Judy. >> Okay. And I'm Judge Jacob. >> Judge Jacob. and Judge Judy here at the. court and we have some really important.

things to go over today. >> Oh my gosh, it's very important. >> I have a question for you, sir. Are you. hung over right now? >> No. >> Guilty. You would go. That's actually. You cannot lie on this courtroom. You. need to put your hand to the. >> I'm a professional judge. >> Oh my god. That's why my forehead was. itching. There was a bug on me. I was. like, why is my forehead? >> Literally flew. >> so [ __ ] bad. >> Oh my god. I think it bit me. I think it. bit me. >> I don't I think it bit me. >> Damn. >> I think that What was that? I don't know. what that was. >> That might have been one of those um.

German roaches, >> dude. I feel like they're all What. happened? That was actually a lot to. deal with right there. >> Damn. Last night was a crazy night. I. was actually attacked. Um should I give. my What do we call this? My testimony. >> Your testimony. >> Oh, yeah. Let's hear your testimony. So, go from Okay, if I want to prosecute. this, right, I need to know how the. night started and how the night ended. >> All right. You have to hold the If. you're Okay, if I'm Okay, right now. you're the judge. Okay, this is like a. fun little role play. >> Go to the exclusive. >> No.

>> Um, so last night I was just enjoying. myself with my friends and we were just. hanging out and I was sitting in the. back of the car and I was attacked by um. a friend named Emma and she struck me. across the face. >> Where were you guys on the way to? >> On the way to laser tag and go-karting. >> Okay. >> Guilty, right? Like I mean, >> well, how did she strike you? How how. did this take place? You're not being. very vague. >> Oh, sorry. I can explain as much as you. would need. >> Yeah. So, I was in the back right seat.

and um Gavin was in the middle, her. boyfriend, and she was on the left. >> Who was driving this vehicle? >> Um. uh Saturn. >> Okay. Okay. And um and so all of a. sudden I well this was also after she. got very intoxicated. >> Okay. >> So she was not forming real sentences at. this time. >> She's going to be pissed. >> She's going to be pissed. >> And all of a sudden I'm like you're good.

twin. We're like 10 minutes from the. crib. You know I'm trying to help out a. friend and I'm like looking forward and. all of a sudden I just get struck across. the face for no reason. >> How hard were you struck across the. face? Um, >> one to 10 rate your pain like you're the. hospital. >> It was severe. >> No. No. >> Was there any abrasions left behind? >> No. Oh, that's not good. Good. That's. not me. Like that's not good for me uh. to say, right? If I want to get her. >> Well, I'm telling you, >> no. I was very severely hurt, bleeding.

>> You could tell that this was happening. >> In the state of. >> my client also had severe emotional. damage from the situation. >> Yes. in the state of California. Um, assault charges you can get locked up. That is a is do you were you fearing for. your life in this moment? This is an. attempted murder case and that is a. felony charge in the state of California. and you are facing up to five years. >> Should we call her? We need to hear she. have to defend. >> This is a serious case. >> Should we call? >> This is a attempted murder charge. This.

is a [ __ ] felony and it doesn't help. her case that she's not here today. because she was so intoxicated. >> She's avoiding COURT. THAT'S AVOIDING. COURT. SHE IS A WARRANT OUT FOR HER. ARREST. IF SHE DOESN'T answer this phone. call, we're putting a warrant out. >> All right. Ready? >> That's 5 years. in prison. >> That should be maximum maximum sentence. >> That's actually [ __ ] up. How are you. going to skip out on your court? We sent. a letter in the mail. She was served. >> No, she's been served. >> Wow. >> And so if she calls back, she can defend. herself. But as of now, I think she's.

good. >> As of now, there's a warrant out for her. arrest. That'sing insane. That did. happen last night, though. And that was. >> Yeah. You guys have no idea. >> what the [ __ ] happened last night. >> All of a sudden, I'm not going to say. who pulled up, but then I was making out. with somebody in your kitchen. >> Can I explain my point of view? >> Dude, I'm I We got done filming the. episode and we're filming three episodes. back toback. So, we were dumb and we. decided, let's go like crazy. We go to. Taco Bell and then we're like, let's go.

play laser tag. We drive to this place. called K1. It was like a 45minute drive. We they didn't even have they didn't. have laser tag. And so then we find. another place that does. We walk inside, sign the waivers, and all of a sudden. Emma is unable to walk. And. >> no, that was, you know, we went to two. different places. >> Yes. >> Okay. Okay. Yeah. The second one. M. something. >> We all signed waivers to go play laser. tag. >> Filled out everything. >> and then all of a sudden Emma is unable. So. >> yeah. Objection. Why do you got to fill. out fill flyers to do laser tag?

>> No, it was also go-karting. >> I wasn't going to go-kart that. It's a. laser a laser tag go-karting. >> and go-karting. Yeah. Kind of awesome. >> Yeah. Yeah. You have to fill out. waiverss though and like, you know, make. an account. And we made accounts. We. were ready to pay. And then Emma goes. outside. We go out to get her and she's. laid out on the concrete. >> Yeah. No. She goes, "I'm going to go. take one more shot." And I was like, "Oh." And then I go out there just. stumbling around. She goes, "I'm going. to do it back in spring.". >> And then she just ate [ __ ] Like. >> ate [ __ ] [ __ ].

>> I was like, "That's going to hurt." And. I'm like, "What the [ __ ] is going on?". So then we decide it's best in. everybody's interest if we just head. back home. And so we get back and then. Jacob, well, Jacob's out in the living. room with Saturn. I'm in the bathroom. helping Emma. She is obligerant. She is. in my closet, not throwing up, but just. spitting on my floor of my closet. And. so I grab robes and towels and I make. >> This is painting her to be like a great. >> No, we love him. She hasn't like gone. out in a while, so you know. Um, so I'm.

making a fortress of towels around my. clothes on the floor so she doesn't spit. on it cuz she's just so up. >> She's just like, >> and then I I get out into my kitchen and. Jacob is ordering more fireball and he. looks at me and he goes, >> get out. Yeah. >> He goes, >> don't say the person's name. >> Is it okay if this girl pulls up and I'm. like, "Sure." And then 20 minutes later. they are going at it on my [ __ ]. couch. >> No. Okay. >> GUILTY AS JO. >> AND I know this person. I've known this.

person for like two years. >> Yeah. I Yeah. No. >> So, it was just um a lot, you know. I've. never hung out with this person outside. of parties. So, it was cool that you. know, she was in my living room making. out with my co-host, so you know. >> No, that's always good. >> And then we tried to play cup pong, got. a noise complaint 5 minutes. >> I don't even I was blacked out at that. point. I don't remember that. But I. remember me being on the phone with this. person making sure that she got home. safely after. And then I dropped my keys. into a bush and I'm on the phone with.

her like, "Yeah, yeah, I'm listening.". But I have my flash on. I'm looking. through the bushes. I And I I lost the. fob to get into my apartment. And it was. bad. It was really bad. We also have. Yeah, that all we were just talking. about felt like a week of time, but that. was all last night after leaving. filming. >> I regret it so much because I feel like. [ __ ] [ __ ] And now my apartment's. [ __ ] destroyed. So, >> so we ordered more Fireball. I did. >> Yes. >> Holy [ __ ] I'm scared to look at like my.

bank statements cuz after this Team. Water donation and the donations to the. Fireball. >> the Fireball. >> charity. Uh yeah, I've donated a lot to. that. >> I tried to send my mom $5,000 last night. and her bank account's just not working. >> I remember seeing you like typing in the. routing numbers. I'm like, >> I couldn't even It looked like the. letters were moving. I'm sitting there. locked the [ __ ] in trying to put in this. [ __ ] and it's just not working. So, I. have to send a check. >> That's still lit. >> Guilty. >> Guilty. >> Not guilty.

>> Well, guilty for sending her 5K. >> Guilty for sending my mom $5,000. That. was my donation. >> Hell yeah. >> Sorry, Mr. Beast. >> Honestly, Mr. Beast is canceled. >> I'm going to I'm going to list some. names and I want you to know. >> Let's Let's do the Okay. Yeah. >> Okay. Ready? >> Yeah. >> Mr. Beast. >> just guilty or not? Guilty for what? Being cancelled. like a good or bad. person. >> I think he's a good person. >> Not guilty. >> I would think so. Yeah. Okay. But I. think he's done recently a lot of. questionable things, but overall, I. mean, he's probably done more good than.

bad. >> That's true. Um, PewDiePie. >> I haven't heard that name in a while. Honestly, I'm just going to say guilty. I don't know. He seems like such a nice. guy. >> Yeah. He probably like stole some candy. one time. So, honestly, guilty. >> Yeah. >> Selena Gomez. >> Honestly, not guilty. I think she's a. good person. >> Tara, yummy. >> Um, guilty. >> Jake Weber. >> Wait, what? But like, >> no, you're just. >> Okay, I'm just Can we just make up. crimes we think they did? I think I.

think Tara one time like. >> I don't know. I feel like she stole. makeup from Sephora. >> That's good. I feel like she would have. done that. >> And then Jake I feel like. >> and it was an eyeliner. >> Jake like didn't pay for a tattoo one. time. No, Jake has a parking ticket that. is just like stacking the [ __ ] up over. time. He's not paying that parking. ticket and he's getting summoned to. court soon for it. >> Or like he stole a skateboard and like. hit somebody across the head with it. >> Yeah, he But he didn't mean it though. Like it was an accident. Yeah, >> Tana Mojo.

>> Honestly guilty cuz she won't. She's. ducking this podcast. >> No, she's not. >> Yeah, she is. >> No, she's not. Well, by the time you. guys by the time this comes out. >> Oh, then this might come out after that. So, >> so you're just. >> at at this point in time, she's kind of. ducking. We had a date, but. >> not guilty. Not guilty. She's filming. the last episode. >> She's guilty as hell, guys. >> I'm just kidding. No, she's cool. >> I think she would crash a car. That. would be her. >> Tana would like somehow get tied up with. like the mafia. >> That is She would definitely like be.

hooking up with. >> be seen in like the back of a hookah. bar, hookah lounge. >> She would make a story time about a guy. and it does end up to be like the mafia. boss and she gets like. >> 100%. >> wrapped in it. Yeah, she would probably. spend a day with them just doing crimes. and [ __ ] She's probably somebody. >> I'm just joking. >> Jake Paul, >> I don't really know his character. >> I would say he'd be an accomplice to. what happened in Japan. >> Yeah, >> I think he would he would have been. recording as well. >> If he was there, he definitely would.

have vlogged it, too. >> He was a little upset, I think, about. not being there. That's that's that's an amazing. commentary. Um I think he was that's. >> I think he was a little upset that he. didn't get his moment, too. >> Yeah, cuz I think he would have been. more like I don't give a [ __ ]. >> Yeah, >> like Logan was like on camera crying. like you know, rightfully so. I think. Jake would have been like. >> um Jake would have just been like you. can't cancel me. >> I think he would have.

>> What about Andrew? >> Andrew Tate's actually a felon. I'm going to say guilty as [ __ ]. >> Yeah, >> I would say. >> I think he's like Yeah, I think he was. in jail for a long time. So, I think. they've already figured that one out. >> Um, who's another one? Who's a Who's. >> I don't know why Jake Paul reminded me. of Andrew Tate. Like that's. >> See, that's a good thing. That's not a. good thing at all. >> But he I don't know. I've met him like. once or twice. He seemed not Andrew. Tate. Hell no. >> Apparently Andrew Tate has been like. going into people's DMs and just sending.

like the hand emoji with like a pen in. it. like the writing. I don't know why. >> said that. Um, >> who was the influencer that. >> Emma Nort? I know she posted it, >> but also I think it was like uh who's. the gymnast? Livy Dunn. >> Oh my god. Wait, yes. Yes. >> Didn't they have a DM convo? And he was. and she leaked the whole thing. >> Yeah, probably. >> My go-to. I uh I just say their name. now. >> So like I did it to this girl. >> and I was just like. >> and then she responded Jacob.

>> Oh, wait. That's actually just straight. up just say their name. >> cuz they're scared. That's scary. Like. >> what? >> No, but if somebody DMs you just being. like Jacob. >> Oh, no. >> Like, yeah, I'd be scared. >> No. Yeah, I guess. >> And then I just said, "What's your. number?" And then now I'm texting her. >> Really? >> I was texting her before the podcast. >> Oh my god. Is she a baddie? >> Fine. [ __ ]. >> Nah. Um, >> yeah. Who else? >> Who? Um um I'm trying to think of who's.

>> What about Trisha? >> Trisha PZ. >> She would probably just the the names of. her babies are just so bad THEY PROBABLY. WOULD JUST. >> NO. >> THAT SHE COULD GET ARRESTED. >> NO, I think if she were to. >> Damn near like child hatred. >> No, I don't. >> Damn near bullying child. >> I do not stand by this. I do not stand. by this. >> Setting a child. That's not providing. your kid with the resources to live a. good life. >> I think she would get arrested for like. >> stealing a police car. >> Yeah. Like she would she would. definitely like take a police. >> where do you think she would take the.

police car. >> to Arby's? >> She would be like I don't want to walk. anymore or something. You can't just. like get in the police car. >> and then go to She just did a brand deal. for them. And then but then she'd be. like what? I'm returning it. >> Oh yeah. And then she would be like what. did I do wrong? >> I literally don't. >> steal a police car, get it wrapped pink. and just drop it off. >> Or I could see her like having a police. car as one of her cars just to have one. >> Yeah. Like literally buy a old police. car. Don't people do that? Like they buy. old ambulances and turn them into cars?

>> Totally. My buddy did that. >> Really? >> Wow. >> Oh yeah, that's badass actually. >> That's actually cool. >> Uncommon goods. Dude, I'm actually. panicking. Okay. Why? >> I have anxiety because I have to start. planning what gifts I'm going to get for. my family for the holidays. And I don't. know where to look, what to get. I don't. know. Okay. >> You should have asked like months ago. Have you heard of uncommon goods? No. >> Uncommon Goods makes holiday shopping. stressfree and joyful with thousands of. one of a kind gifts that you can't find.

anywhere else. >> Oh my gosh. Is that the spot that has a. ton of stuff made by independent artists. and small businesses? >> Yes, it is. >> Wow. >> Yeah. I actually just ordered the. weighted hug calming heart pillow. because I've been like having a lot of. hard time sleeping. So, I feel like. that'll help. >> Wait, do you think they have a like. personal pizza maker on there? >> Yeah, they literally have a grilled. personal pizza maker right here. Like I. found it earlier. >> Nah. >> Yes. You know, that's actually perfect. because I love pizza and all my friends. do and we don't have to go out anymore. We can just make it at home and I could. throw a pizza party. How cool will I be?

>> I better get an invite. >> He'll be there. >> Uncommon Goods has something for. everybody. From Jacob and his friends. wanting to make pizza to me, my family. just wanting to get some heart pillows. to cuddle with. It really has something. for everybody. >> Many of their items are handcrafted and. made in small batches. So, I got to go. and shop now before this holiday season. >> Better hurry up. And my favorite part. about Uncommon Goods is that they give. back $1 to a nonprofit partner of your. choice. And so far, they've donated $3. million to date. So, if you're feeling. that holiday anxiety like me, shop.

early, have fun, and cross some names. off your list today. To get 15% off your. next gift, go to uncommongoods.com/bang. >> That's uncommons.com/bang. for 15% off. Don't miss out on this. limited time offer. Uncommon goods. We're all out of the ordinary. You ever. wondered what the [ __ ] gets cut from. these episodes, MAN? [ __ ]. NAH, you're tweeting. Nah, nah, nah. Chill the out. >> Everybody's favorite influencer is But. y'all want to know what I saw him doing?

>> Yo, dead ass, chill the out. >> You know who I found out that's dating? >> Nah, you're [ __ ] Tweaking. YO, DEAD ASS, CHILL. CHILL. >> STOP. STOP BANGING OUT. COM. >> My number one question, and I'm going to. be putting Jacob on trial cuz everyone. has this question. Everyone wants to. know. The people want to know. >> What is your immortality secret? >> Oh, like how do I look so young? >> How the hell do you look so young? Drop. the skincare routine. Drop something, dude. Cuz.

>> you know what I think it is? I think I. stunted my growth. from just being traumatized as a kid. I'm being dead ass. That's the secret is. to be. >> yo like like I genuinely think I like. started drinking coffee at a really. young age. I also went through like a. lot of like stress at a very young age. and I genuinely used to always be like I. don't want to get older like all the. time. Like when I would lay in bed I'd. be like my biggest fear is becoming. older. So I wonder if I'd like.

manifested this [ __ ]. >> You manifested. >> it was like one of my wishes. Like I. want to look. >> what do you think you're going to look. like at 40? probably very similar to the. way I. >> which is actually insane. >> I look younger than I did when I was 16. Like when I was like getting high all. the time. Yeah. I look uh I look younger. now. Like there's pictures of me from 5. years ago where you'd be like damn you. actually were you were on this. trajectory of like actually growing up. and then something happened. >> My mom was asking about it on the phone. the other day. She was like she was like. does he like.

>> get IDed a lot? And I was like, he has. actually never been accused of like. being a minor with his ID, which I find. it so surprising. >> I'm 23. Like, >> can I be honest? If you came to my bar. and you pulled out that goddamn ID, >> you wouldn't take it. >> You're out. You're out. You're out. >> Really? >> But you know how messed up that is? There's other people like me out there. Isn't there like a This could be like a. real syndrome. >> We looked it up and it was not what we. thought it was. >> I thought it was Benjamin Buttons or. something. But that's the other way. That's where you age super fast. Like.

you're like 20 and you have gray hair. because. >> No, you become younger as you get older. You're born a baby. Benjamin Button. >> I mean, you're Sorry. Everyone's an old. man. Every. born a baby. >> You're born an old baby. Like an elderly. baby and then you like the old you turn. into a baby. You're born an old man. Sorry. That's. >> Oh, that's an actual Whoa. >> It's not a real thing. It's a movie. But. do you think it's LIKE.

>> I DON'T KNOW, >> GUYS. WHAT? >> IT SUCKS that like I do think about that. sometimes. I'm like, damn, bro. If I. just looked like a little bit more like. Faze Banks or something. >> I don't like him, >> but like I don't know. He just looks. cool and old and like that like big big. brother that. >> Jacob, you look way better than Faze. Banks. Don't do that. >> Like I don't get hoes like Faze Banks, though. You just had a hoe over at my. apartment and now you're texting this. girl named. >> Objection. >> Yeah. No, I I I'm going to I'm going to.

invoke my fifth amendment right and. >> you're taking away. >> what's the I plead the fifth or what's. the fifth amendment? >> Yeah. >> Okay. Okay. Yeah. >> The right to remain. >> Uh yeah, I'm going to do that. >> That's what Evan should have done. >> He's guilty as [ __ ]. Do you think he watches this podcast in. jail? >> I don't think they have that. opportunity. >> No, I think they can get phones. >> I don't think he will have one. I.

>> They like smuggle phones. >> I wonder how he's going to I wonder like. cuz when he gets out probably be on. episode like 300 or something. >> Hopefully we're just on episode a. thousand. You. >> by then we're going to be. >> Hopefully he never gets out. >> Yeah, he might keep having bad behavior. >> Who knows what's going to happen. November 7th, 2020. going to just be. binge watching this [ __ ] like, "Damn, I'm really I really suck.". >> I wonder if people call him and let him. know what's going on out here. >> They probably do. >> You think? >> Oh, yeah. I'm sure one of like his.

friends or people I don't even know if. you would still have friends in his. situation, but I'm sure there are people. >> who call him and they're like, "Bro, they're saying this about you.". >> You know what's crazy is whoever is. running his account is once again. posting pictures of him in my bed and I. just please stop. Like, it's weird. Like, I don't know who's running his. Snapchat account right now. God damn. >> But he's not at my house. >> Could be James. >> And that's a good one. And he's making. like a little. >> Oh, James Charles. >> Guilty as [ __ ]. >> What would he do? >> What has he done?

>> That's I set you up. Oh, man. There's so. many jokes I can make and I'm really. >> Guys, I'm [ __ ] sorry that we keep. glazing. Okay, but like when we. >> I have like I there are some slam dunk. jokes that I can make, but I'm not going. to do it. It's because we. >> cuz I'm going to think about it after. >> when we get a new enemy on the show, we're going to transfer that attention. over to somebody else. But right now, that is enemy number one. >> Yeah. And I think Yeah. >> Who do you think our new enemy would be? Who would be guilty in like a few. months? Who's who's our enemy? >> H.

>> who do you think we're going to have. beef with? >> I don't know. I think maybe. >> I think we're going to have beef with. the BFF's podcast. >> Yeah, >> I think that would happen. And I You. know what? I'm scared. But I think that. would happen. you and Brianna Chicken. from And then like Dave Portoy hops in. and he's like. >> Dave loves me by the way. >> I think he would [ __ ] on me. He'd be. like, "You ugly [ __ ] match your. [ __ ] foundation.". >> He he's a probably a fan of this show. He wishes we did it with Bartool. I. swear. No, I know that back in the day. he was actually one of the people who. like he's randomly like a fan of certain.

people and he was a huge fan of Taylor. Swift and he is. And then he was. genuinely I sent him a box of merch and. he would wear the you can wear my. sweatshirt. >> What? >> On on air. Yeah. He He It was like. almost like just a joke, but he's just. tapped into internet culture. He loves. it. And he would be like, "I love that. kid." Like. >> I think he loves you, but I don't know. about me. >> In a parallel universe, I was supposed. to be Josh on the BFF's podcast. >> Oh my god. And. >> but I was irrelevant at the time. I was. uh. >> washed up on the shore.

>> Imagine if that was you. >> Oh, I'd be miserable. >> Well, I mean, not like that. Like he. seems he probably lives a great life. I'm just saying I on that show like I. like Banging Out better personally. >> Banging Out is a better show than. >> See, we're starting beef. Do it. Start. the beef. Come on, girl. >> Well, it in my opinion. >> Okay. >> I think it's a better show. >> What do you think most people think is a. better show? >> BFFs. >> Damn. >> In my opinion.

>> Damn. Really? >> But you know, everyone's entire Exactly. >> opinion. >> Um, yeah. No, most people definitely. >> I think that'll be our op though. And I don't want that, but I think. that's most likely to happen. >> I don't want Don't poke the bear, guys. Don't poke the bear because I'm really. scary, >> dude. Yeah, you don't want to see me. mad. >> I'm on my Kaya [ __ ]. >> Oops. I'm on my uh Wait, [ __ ] I had a. good one for James, but I'm not going to. do it. Okay, we also have a bunch of. people who have sent in stuff, right?

>> Oh, we have so so so so many cases from. our fans. We sent out a little request. saying, "Send us anything that you guys. want us to judge." Judge Jacob and Judge. Kayla will rule the verdict. >> Thank you so much. >> We have uh 16 anonymous cases here that. we run through. >> and it's either just guilty or. >> guilty. Okay. Yeah. >> Okay. Okay. >> Let's start with case number one. Wait, one more one more thing. >> One more thing. I'm I'm going to I'll. shut up here. I actually My biggest fear.

being pulled over is that I have a. warrant I don't know about and that. they'll arrest me on site. So next. >> what. >> I I think that I there I'm scared to get. pulled over cuz maybe I have a warrant. that I don't have. >> and your license plates are two years. >> Two years. Well, that's besides and I. still have an Indiana license and it. expires in like 4 months. I don't. [ __ ]. >> You just love the thrill. >> WELL, HOW ABOUT THESE? If I get [ __ ]. pulled over, I'm going to tell that. goddamn cop, go to the DMV with me and. wait 7 hours in [ __ ] line. Okay, you. [ __ ]. >> We all have TO DO IT. >> I DON'T want to wait in line for seven.

I don't have a birth certificate. How am. I going to get [ __ ] Do you have a. social security number? >> Card? Yes. >> Card limit? >> Maybe. >> So you there's a way for you to. >> I'm not waiting in line seven hours. >> Well, you could do it online, but. honestly, if you go online, your. computer might start going beep beep. >> Someone is currently on the way to your. location. >> Even Indiana license. >> She tries to like renew the license, get. new plates. They're like, "Oh my. goodness.". On their radar. >> That's my That would be crazy. >> and guilty for that. Anyways,

>> so how many more years do you plan to. just kind of. >> Until I get my new car next month? Honestly, I'm not getting. >> Yeah, I saw you were at the dealership. >> Yeah. >> Looking at Porsche Porsches. Porsches. >> Porsche. >> Porsches. Porsche. >> That's what the rich people say. They're. like Porsches. >> Okay. Well, let's get into these cases. >> I slept with these two people back to. back in one night and then the next. night I ended up getting chlamydia. And. I didn't tell anyone that I got it. So, none of them have gotten treated. And to. my knowledge, I don't plan on calling. them because their penises can roll off.

for all I care. Guilty as [ __ ] Are you kidding me? >> So, >> is everyone. >> I think you know where this about to go? >> Okay. Wait, wait, wait. If she got. chlamydia from one of them. >> Wait, doesn't it go away if you take. medicine? But not if you don't treat it. >> But not if you don't treat it. >> Whoever gave it to her is guilty. She is. also you. I'm sorry, mama's dad. You. cannot. I would be so [ __ ] pissed. >> That's rule one of being a hoe.

>> All right, I'm just kidding. >> Honestly, I that's I actually don't know what to. say. Was it good? Was it worth it? >> It sounds like the first one wasn't. enough and so she had to do it again. Oops. Oops. I hit again. >> Two in one night. Have you ever done. that? >> No. >> Neither have I. >> I've never done one in one night. >> I'm still trying to focus on that part. Wait, what the [ __ ] That. >> I If you're listening, I love you. Please go go to Planned Parenthood. Get.

get checked out. >> Planned Parenthood. >> That's where they do testing and stuff. >> Oh, I thought it was like, damn, she's. having a baby. >> Imagine that. Imagine that phone call. So, I'm not sure what's I'm going to put. you guys on a conference call. >> We're going to do a full It's an. Instagram story. >> I'm not sure who it is, but it was a. really fun night with both of you. >> It's illegal to like not tell. Yeah, mama. >> It's fully illegal. You have to. >> That's biological warfare. >> But did she know that she had it? >> She knows now.

>> And she's just. >> she she supposedly I I think it's that. she got it from one of the guys, but. she's not telling the other guy. >> cuz. >> which is like you have to do that. >> You do have to do that. But why did the. guy not tell her? >> And especially if you're going to hook. up with somebody, I know it's actually. illegal if you don't say it beforehand. You can't just be giving around STDs. >> I don't think she knew beforehand, though. I think she found out after. Now. she just doesn't want to tell him that. she has it. You know what? [ __ ] the guy. who gave it to you. >> And didn't you know, [ __ ] him. Um, >> and he didn't say anything. So, is he at.

fault? >> Both of them are guilty. >> Yeah, she committed the same crime. >> Yeah, she just passed it on. >> Don't care. >> Uh, she said, uh, I'll I'll double it. >> Double. Give it to the next one. >> Double it and give it to the next one. >> All right. Yeah. Guilty. >> Both of them. >> Sorry. Guilty. Guilty. >> I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Sounds like a fun. night though. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Hope it was fun. >> Yeah. I hope it was fun. I wonder which. one was your favorite. One or two. >> Probably. Probably two. >> I think it was two. >> One probably wasn't enough.

>> And gave her the clap. >> Damn. >> Let us know down below. One or two. Thank you. >> Wow. Thank you for calling. Yo, if this. is you, they're watching this like, "Holy [ __ ] they're talking.". >> They're mad. They're mad, though. You. think I'm. >> not at all. That was hilarious. All. right. Case number two. My older brother. was a senior um Yeah. in high school and. he had prom and then he came back with. one of his friends, soon to be. girlfriend. They get back to the house. and I like to stalk him and see what. he's doing. So, I would always like go. up to the door and try and listen and it.

was maybe like 12:30 at night and I go. to the door and it's cracked open and I. slightly open the door and then just. open it fully and they were having sex. >> He heard applause. >> They're having sex right there under the. blanket and I walked in and didn't even. think about it. I just walked in and. stood there and then my brother ran out. from underneath the covers and goes, "I'm sorry." And then ran away. >> Wait, wait, wait, wait. I'm so confused. >> What's the like he just walked in on. >> Who's having sex? >> their older brother. >> So, she walked in on her older brother. having sex on prom night.

>> Why did she say she likes to watch him? >> That's weird. >> I think it's kind of guilty on her part. cuz basically says that she likes to. stalk her older brother and always goes. into his room. And then one time she. walked in 12:30 at night after prom. night. after prom night. >> I mean, I would be living. [Applause]. >> Yeah. >> I also don't like that she says she just. stood there. >> just like what the [ __ ]. >> Like the brother had to run out, bro. Like, >> oh my Yeah. Take a picture,

>> honestly. Yeah, that's weird. >> That's And one time my sister had sex on. my bed and I've never forgiven her for. it. So, I couldn't imagine my sister. knowing, you know, what could possibly. be happening and just standing there and. watching. I'd be [ __ ] pissed. >> Yeah, thinking about that is weird. Holy. [ __ ]. >> I I'm sorry. I'm. >> Well, guilty. >> Maybe she was just bored. Maybe she was. just wanted to play. >> No. No. At 12:30 anytime. Nothing good. happens after 10:00 p.m. That's what my. mom said. >> That's facts. That's actually every.

>> You just mind your damn business after. 10 p.m. E. >> guilty. >> Guilty. I think or or just curious. >> Curious. >> But when you stand there, >> you're just watching them. I think you. know what. >> until you know what's happening. They're. not wrestling like this is they were. they on the wrestling team. Were they. clapping for her? Did Did they do. something good? No, they were [ __ ]. >> I think you I I think that you need to. maybe give your brother some some space,

you know? >> Yeah. How does that go the next day when. you just see him like, "Hey, >> nice cock.". Have you guys ever walked in on someone. before? >> I've been walked in on by a friend. >> You told me that. >> Just butt cheeks out. >> I don't think I have. >> My boy goes, "Yo.". And I literally look back and he's with. a girl, too. And I go, "Hey guys." And. then they close my door. >> One time I went camping, uh, it was.

>> But they were probably trying to [ __ ] in. my room. >> That's probably why they were walking. in. But they knew we were somewhere. I. was on a twoman, actually. Once I went camping and uh we were. sharing a tent was me, my boyfriend, and. my best friend, and her boyfriend. And. for some reason, I decided to have sex. while they were literally next to us on. another air mattress. And that's. something I regret to this day. >> while camping. >> Yes. >> So, >> we had like air mattresses in there and. a tent. We're. >> sure like bugs and flies. >> Well, what ended up happening is the. tent collapsed on itself midnight and it.

flooded and um so the whole thing. flooded. >> flooded with come. >> with well, one would wish. And then my. car battery died and then uh it was it. was a bad night. >> Damn. You know that must be fun. I. haven't done that. I want to go like. have sex on like campgrounds. >> I do it on a beach. >> I'm on the beach. I. >> I take that back. That's actually. illegal. >> Yeah, I was going to say. >> No, no, no, no. I'm sorry. >> The beach is crazy. But like in the tent. while camping, >> it's fun. That's you sleep in the tent.

Like I don't know. >> Guilty. >> Yeah. Guilty. All right, case number three. >> I'm waiting for like a murder or. something. >> I think we might have. >> Can somebody kill somebody and then call. >> Yo. Yeah. Can you guys confess to your. murder, please? >> Yo, I mean, we're we're pretty legit. >> Yeah. >> Like we're like. >> we'll give you an easy case. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We'll let you go. >> We'll hear you out. >> You just slide us a little money on the. side. >> Bribery. We like that [ __ ].

>> Oh yeah. We're all about that here. >> We're all about the bribery. We're just the most corrupt court ever. >> I am corrupt judge Judy. And. >> I am corrupt judge Jacob. Welcome. >> You can do anything you want as long as. you pay us off. >> Yeah. Almost anything. >> Almost. Yeah. No, no, no. That sounds. terrible. But next one. >> Case number three. My ex cheated on me. last year and I slashed his tires. because the person that he cheated on me.

with was literally one of my best. friends and she lied to me about it. I. found out through one of our mutual. friends. She told me everything and then. I slashed the [ __ ] out of his tires. >> You should have slashed his [ __ ]. neck. This should have been a murder. call. This should have been a murder. call. Just the tire. >> So, no. >> They cheated with their friend. >> Yeah. >> Their best friend. >> Yeah. >> I feel like that's always how it goes, though. >> Like, why is it always the It's always. with the friend. Where do you get off. at? >> What do you mean? >> Like what are they getting off with. doing that? Like [ __ ] their best.

friend. Like. >> what do you mean getting off? >> Like I mean that's never heard that. Like where do you get off? >> Has anybody heard that? >> I have heard the term getting off. >> Like Yeah. No, but not that getting off. Like where do you get off? >> I don't know what that means. Like what. what's the thrill in it? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> That's the whole thing. It's the thrill. >> probably. It's like the one person. you're not supposed to do it. >> I think not guilty. You should have. actually put a bomb in that car and blew. it the up. That's what I would have. done. If that was I would have that car. up. I would have that house up.

>> I would have their life up. I would have. I 25 years in jail is what I would have. done. >> That's valid. Yeah, I agree. Guilty. That's. >> You know what? >> Are they saying they did it or they. they're. >> they are the tire slasher. >> They're Yeah. Oh, >> they got cheated on. >> Oh, no. They're not guilty. I think. that's a valid response. Go [ __ ] his. best friend and then send him a video of. it in his room. >> Yeah, >> in his room. >> Yeah, >> that's what the [ __ ] I would do. >> Dead ass. >> Oh, I'm pissed. >> I I think this one's not guilty. I think.

that's valid. >> You should have done worse. I'm almost. going to say guilty cuz. just the tires. >> I have. >> should have cut his penis off. >> Dead ass or like dipped it in acid or. like vinegar. >> Remember that trend where people were. dipping their balls in like oil saying. you could taste it? What? >> Jacob, I'm not on that algorithm. >> Where did that come from? Where did you. hear that? >> No, it was this famous trend and it. apparently. >> I don't think that.

>> guilty. >> Yeah. WAIT, WHAT? >> WHAT DO YOU MEAN? >> NO, like you got to look this up. All. right. >> I don't like a ball dipping friend. >> No, it was like you dip your balls. >> oils actually. >> Yeah. Essential oils. No, no, it was. like um Yeah, like olive oil and then. you're supposed to taste it. >> and then people were really trying it. and I. >> I'll look it up. >> I definitely wasn't one of those people. >> Did it work? >> No, that's the whole thing. >> Soy sauce. >> It was soy sauce. Oh, you remember it.

>> What the guilty? SATURN'S GUILTY AS. [ __ ]. >> Saturn goes, "It was soy sauce.". >> Wait, what else have you dipped your. balls in? >> I've never done it. I just heard it. >> Oh, I've heard that one. >> There's no line on the court, but I. could just pass the blame to him. Yeah, dude. People that do that [ __ ] That's. hella weird, dude. Like, >> I want to dip my balls in like a bowl of. cereal. >> Just like some good. >> Oh my god. >> You see it? >> What kind? >> I'll read it off. Uh, male testicles.

have taste receptors. >> That's. >> People are dipping their. >> It says, "Dip your balls in something. It's for science. I must know. That was. the original caption. And then people. just were dipping their balls in [ __ ]. and saying I can taste. >> But that's cir lime. >> You cannot. >> That's [ __ ]. >> And I don't know how I know that. But. you you don't. >> Yeah. Subscribe to bangout.com and we'll. dip our balls. >> Well, what do what do I get to do? Like. >> you could dip dip your tits.

>> Dip your tits. >> Maybe maybe there's taste receptors on. there. Dr. Barrett added some taste. receptor. You know, some taste buds. Um, all right. Next one. >> That's guilty as [ __ ] We're on to case. four. And um I'm having a feeling it's. somebody who committed the crime is. going to do the time. >> Case four. >> Case four. >> I'm dating a 40-year-old and I'm 26. Actually, we're engaged and getting. married in two months. I. >> should have started with that. Actually, I'm engaged. I am dating somebody.

Actually, we're married and have. children. >> Okay. Wait. 26 and 40. At 26, I feel. like you know who you're dating. Yeah. If I thought it was going to be like and. I'm 20. >> Yeah. Yeah. If it was like 20, that's. freaky. But 26, you're about to be. >> Yeah. But it's still like, you know, I. don't know. >> But maybe he's like really. >> like he could drive before she was born. >> I. >> You feel what I'm saying? But I respect. it. >> You know, I think at 26. When did you.

meet though? That's what I wanted. When. did they meet? >> Like was he like her school teacher? >> That's a good question. >> Was she like 23 when they met? And he's. he was what? 37. >> Oh, okay. So, it's a 14-year age gap, >> right? Wait. Yeah. >> Yeah. That's still kind of. >> 14 year. >> It's pretty crazy. Like, bro was smoking. weed while the other one was being. formed as a human. >> Oh. >> In the womb. When you think about it. like that, it's crazy. But also now that. they're adults, if they met and she was. like over the age of 23,

24, then I feel like. >> like 50 and 64, like that doesn't sound. crazy. >> That doesn't sound crazy. >> 40 and 56, >> but they're getting married in 2 months. So I imagine they've been dating for a. couple years now. Like hypothetically, they might have got together when say. she was 22 and he was 30 something. >> 22 and like 37 is kind of crazy. I could. not actually imagine dating somebody. that old. >> Yeah. No,

>> I you know what? >> Unless it's Megan Fox, I probably. wouldn't. >> But that's the thing. What if he was. Megan Fox level? Like. >> Well, see, I would do that 100%. Like I. like I would like if it was Makunis or. Megan Fox or um. >> who's the other one? Um. >> any anyone. >> any anyone like that? >> Halfway. >> Oh yeah, I'm folding Portman. Oh yeah, I'm folding. >> Okay. You know what? I actually. >> 100%. But I don't even think. >> I don't know what to do with this. >> Could you imagine what it would look.

like for them with me? >> It would be like, yo, are you is this. kid okay? >> Is he over? >> Where did you Is this your son? God. >> Oh, what do we What do we call this one? >> I'm looking for a cougar out there. >> You want a cougar? >> Mhm. But that would be weird for them. >> That would be. >> because it's like, bro, I look hella. young. I usually. >> hate dating guys that are even a day. younger than me. Like I've always hated. that. >> Yeah. Yeah. What about your boyfriend? >> Nine months younger than me.

>> And Okay. >> Yeah. >> Me? >> Yeah. >> Right. Or 11 months younger than me. >> I don't know. >> In his head, he's like it's three. >> Okay. I I don't know. I don't know if. this is Gil. I'm stressed out by this. one. But I pleaded the fifth on my. answer. >> Yeah. No, I I support it. >> The age gap is it's a 40-year-old and a. 26-y old. >> Okay. When you say it again, I just felt. weird. >> The word 40 and 20 just doesn't they. don't go. >> I don't think so. I don't [ __ ] with.

that. Actually, I do. They're old. enough. I [ __ ] with it. But when did he. meet her? >> That's what I want to know. >> Like, did he like watch her growing up? >> Maybe we'll bring this one back to. court. We'll wait for a followup. >> Yeah. If you sent this in and you're. watching this right now, write in the. comments when you guys. >> A warrant is getting formed right now. >> Yeah, we're working on this case. Um, we. can't make a final verdict. >> Yeah. Uh, I'll do a similar case that we. can rule a verdict on. Let's talk about. a celebrity who's done something. similar. How do you guys feel about uh.

39year-old Jerry Seinfeld dating a. 17-year-old in high school? >> Is that real? >> That's real. He's not 30. He's older. than that now, but that happened when. Seinfeld was on. Yeah, that's terrible. Guilty. That's disgusting. That is. guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Go to. jail. Why did he not go to jail? >> How is that not illegal? >> Yeah, cuz he's Jerry. >> WHAT THE [ __ ]. >> NO, JERRY. You're up in there. You're. [ __ ] in the head, Jerry. >> Yeah. No, that's guilty.

>> That's guilty. >> Yeah. Oh god. >> That is literally like dating your dad. >> Yeah. It's terrible. >> Oh god. >> How did you get away with that? That is. actually insane. >> Oh god. Okay. Yeah, that guilty. >> Guilty. Yeah. Straight to jail. [ __ ]. you, Seinfeld. >> All right. You're not in jail. Case. number five. >> Uhhuh. >> I didn't know I was supposed to shave my. pubes until college. And the first guy I. hooked up with saw my bush and freaked. the [ __ ] out. I I I dated a guy who was.

like this. He was a senior in high. school and he sent me a dickpick and it. was the hairiest penis I've ever seen. And I go, "Why don't you shave?" And he. goes, "I don't know how.". So, I've seen this case before. >> I don't shave. >> ever. >> I have, but I don't. I don't know why. I'm just too lazy. I know how to do it. Like, >> see, I mean, >> it's not that I don't know how to shave. >> They say not guilty. I mean, I don't. care. >> Some people like bushes. >> Yeah. And other people don't. >> And Right. >> But, you know, >> I don't think you have to shave.

>> I just don't care enough to do that. >> I let my legs get really. >> But that's probably not good. That's. like a poor hygiene thing probably. >> No, but I trim it, you know. That's. crazy. I dead ass take scissors and I. trim it, but I don't like shave it. >> What did you say, Luke? >> I said I said guilty. I shave everything. >> he does. There was one time. >> shave your ass. >> No, >> he [ __ ] uh his first time ever coming. over, he shaved his legs and he had like. bare skin baby legs look like and I. never did it again.

>> I don't Not guilty. >> Guilty. >> No, not guilty. I I I'm going say not. guilty. >> Guilty. >> But you don't shave. >> I know. Can we put the guy also who ran out of. the room on trial? >> Wait, who? >> The person who saw the bush and freaked. the out and it seems like. >> guilty. You're [ __ ] That's [ __ ] up. To run out of room. >> Oh, no. That's respect. >> I WOULD. >> I WOULD respect that if someone had the. balls to do that with me. No pun. intended. >> Wait to but to run out of the room. >> Yeah. To be like I don't that ah I'd be.

like okay cool. That's honestly badass. Good for them. I would be. >> that takes that takes some like like you. got to be like. >> I don't know. >> I would be strong. >> A strong person is stand firm. >> But pussy's [ __ ]. >> Yeah. Know I would never run out of the. room. >> I would never run out of the room if. some guy had a hairy penis. Unless they. want me to give them head. I'm not. >> just not doing that. Nothing worse than. a pube in the mouth. >> God damn. >> Not guilty. Not guilty for her. Guilty.

for him. Let the bush. >> Did he run out? Yes. >> Yeah. I think that is a little [ __ ]. up. That is, >> you know, standing firm in your uh in. your opinions. >> You should put a heart. You should shave. out a heart. Now you have a lot to work. with right there. And I would do I would. start making designs. Diet. >> I kind of want to braid mine. >> French braid it. >> Now I'm going to shave after this. You. guys made me feel like [ __ ]. >> You're You're be dead ass. >> She. >> hearing the stories of people running. out of the room like now I'm going to. like Now I'm just going to you know do.

what I got to do. Jacob, would you ever. get waxed down there? >> Hell no. Hell no. I've gotten my stomach. waxed like for a video and it really. hurt and I was bleeding. >> What? >> Like you know like the ones that you. could just do at home. >> Yeah. >> All my friends just were doing it. >> I did that once on my armpits and it. gave me like chemical burns on my. armpits. The I had to put pads on my. armpits cuz it would hurt so bad. >> That sucks. >> Oh god. Yeah. No. I I've never been. waxed. I would never do it.

>> Yeah. I'd prefer to like shave. >> I like a shave. Sometimes I'll shave my. stomach cuz you look more defined if. you're going to the gym and stuff. And I. also have hairy ass nipples. >> I mean, bro, honesty is the best policy. In the courtroom, we got to be honest, man. >> So, would you be upset if a girl refused. to hook up with you cuz you had hairy. nipples. >> It depends how hot she was. Like, if she. was like super hot, then I'd be like, "Fuck it. I'll shave them.". If not, I'm just going to be like, "Cool. >> Damn. >> You would ch." I'm just kidding. Yeah.

No. Yeah. No, I Yeah. No, I'd probably. get in my head about it. >> I'd get in my head big time. 100%. Like, who wouldn't? I would definitely get in. in my head. >> I've had a guy like run away cuz I said. I wasn't on birth control and he was. really upset. >> Damn. >> I was like, man, there's other things we. could do. >> That would have been a good investment. for him. >> Birth control. >> Like, cuz now you got money. >> Oh, well, I had money then. I had money. I flew him to New York. >> Oh, nice. >> And then he tried to sue me for. defamation. Oh, >> but the lawyer goes, "Well, did she say.

anything that wasn't true?" And he goes, "No, it was all true." And they're like, "You don't have a [ __ ] case, buddy.". >> But, um, yeah. Anyways, guilty. >> Just digging the hole deeper. >> I don't even know what that means. I. just don't know what to say. All right, next one. >> Case six. >> Case six. >> This one girl in my school, she. literally was behind me and started. cutting my hair. So, I slapped her and. then she cut like a decent amount of my. hair off, so I stopped her. But then I. got in trouble and she didn't. And I.

just want to know if I'm in the wrong. She cut like two or three inches out of. my hair. >> I would have randomly just came up and. cut her hair. >> Seems like the girl behind her just. started chopping her [ __ ] hair off. >> So then she hit her. >> and then she slapped the [ __ ] out of her. and then. >> and then cut her hair. >> Yeah. I don't think she cut the other. She didn't cut the other girl's hair. She just got her hair cut and then. slapped her. >> and then got in trouble. >> And then got IN TROUBLE. >> NO. I if somebody's cutting my [ __ ]. hair, I'm beating the [ __ ] out of you. >> I'm getting into my first fight. That's. insane. >> Yeah. No, >> no, that not guilty.

>> That's pretty valid. But like Yeah. No, they're both assault, right? >> But they cut her hair first. >> Yeah, they started it. >> Yeah, that's valid. >> Yeah, I would just slap the [ __ ] out of. her, too. >> Yeah, >> 100%. Not guilty. >> Yeah, >> not guilty. And actually, I think that. was a brave thing to do. >> Really show that you your hair cannot be. cut. >> Yeah. >> Hell yeah. >> I like that. >> Standing on business. >> I like that. Yeah. Not guilty. >> Love that. Not guilty. >> I love violence. >> That's terrible. I don't I like UFC though.

>> Isn't WWE really fake? >> Yeah. No. That's why I watch UFC. >> WWE? Ah, but. >> do you think Jake Paul's fights are. fake, guilty, not guilty? Or do you. think they're rigged? >> No, I think they're real. >> Really? >> I think they're rigged. >> But I think he just puts certain things. in there where he knows he's going to. win. Like like they have to cut a. certain amount of weight. They so. they're really dehydrated when they go. in there. Like he like for them to sign. that contract because they want to make. money. I'm sure he like has ways that he. can subtly have an advantage, but I.

don't think it's like rigged like oh, you're going to like flop. >> I don't know. Did you see the Tyson. fight? >> That was so [ __ ]. >> Yeah, that was [ __ ]. >> Boring fight I've ever seen in my life. >> I think part of that was seeing [ __ ]. Tyson's ass cheeks. >> Yeah, I loved that clip. I watched that. happen live. I was so happy. He was just. wearing a thong in the dressing room. Dude, I was like, where can I get one of. those? Yeah, that Yeah, that went so. far. I was like, there's no way. >> Dude, I saw that. I was like, how the.

[ __ ] did they [ __ ] that one up? Like, >> he has a nice He has a nice ass. >> He does have a nice ass. >> I love a man with a fat ass. That's. something I'll stand on. >> His is kind of saggy, though. >> I thought it was juicy. >> It was juicy. >> It was bouncy. >> Yeah, >> it was like bubble butt. >> Yeah, it was kind of jiggling. >> Yeah. But I love how he was just walking. around the room with all those people in. it just passed out. He don't give a. [ __ ]. >> He doesn't, bro. >> He literally probably doesn't give a. [ __ ] He probably just walks around. naked in there. >> That's the part of it. He's like in the. middle of an interview and then just. turns around and his whole ass is.

>> Thank you for your time. Thank you so. much for the interview. >> Just ass out. >> Didn't even think about putting pants. on, >> dude. Everyone saw the moon, man. >> That was good. I think that was good. though. That like really brought a lot. Sometimes you just got to get mooned in. life. >> I think that was a good PR move. >> It was lowkey genius. >> Yeah. >> Like the brand of the boxing shorts. Imagine that was. >> people were saying Gatorade like. sponsored it on purpose cuz there's a. huge Gatorade sponsor right there. >> It's actually so funny. >> I wonder people the marketing is getting. clever.

>> Yeah. >> It's getting very smart. >> Would you. >> People don't just listen to. advertisements anymore. >> If a brand came up to you and said, "Get. our logo tattooed for $5 million, but. it's like huge on your chest." Would you. do it? >> Yeah. huge on your like right across. your chest and. >> like the whole chest. What brand would. it be? Let's pick a brand. >> Skims. >> No. >> Blue chew. >> Yeah, that would be funny as [ __ ] And I. would just tell and everyone would know. I got 5 mil for it. >> But low key that would kind of suck. >> But then you could pay for the removal. with that 5 mil.

>> But what if it was like you had to keep. it? >> Oh, you're right. You do have to keep it. >> for life. >> You're getting 10 years. You become a. walking advertisement. What about a. million dollars every year you keep it? >> I would keep it for the rest of my life. >> Yeah, I'm Yeah, that's actually good. >> That would that would be worth it. And. if anyone says anything, it's like, bro, >> I like that's actually Yeah, >> look at my cars, bro. >> This is my job. >> Look at my [ __ ] bro. >> Yeah, you could just say it's your job. is to. >> I'm just a walking sponsor. >> Yeah.

>> What if it was something super illegal. like not illegal? >> Like imagine it said heroin or like I. sell drugs. What if it was American Eagle and they. had to have you walk around with your. good jeans? >> Could you imagine that? Then the brand. gets cancelled and then you're stuck. with it. >> I don't know. >> I would get a cover up. >> Yeah, I would do it. >> Or what if it's like Chuck-e-Cheese, but. then like you have to have sex, too. You. got to do other things. >> Yeah, there's going to be times where. I'm [ __ ] What if it's something.

goofy? >> Like across my whole stomach. >> Just don't [ __ ] with your shirt off. >> Yeah, I would keep it on. I'd go. swimming with my shirt on. I'd be one of. those people. >> I'd put foundation over it. >> But what if they wanted you to be. shirtless? Like flex the tattoo all the. time. >> Oh my god. >> I'm still doing that. >> Becomes like my signature move. Just. like always shirtless. Just. >> yo, that's the Chuck E. Cheese guy. >> But you're pulling up in a Lambo. >> No, see that's the thing. It's pretty. badass. It's like being the Papa John's. guy, you know? >> Who's in every advertisement? Doesn't he.

own it? Is that the CEO? >> That's Papa John. >> Yes. Okay. Well, that's badass. Like. he's rich as [ __ ] but like he's in. every commercial. Like he's so iconic. I. didn't know that was actually him. I. thought he was just or oh the State Farm. lady or. >> Flo or No, the. >> Progressive. >> Progressive. >> Flo, right? >> Progressive. >> Does she own the lady? I don't Does she. >> Well, I think she just does a. commercial. I don't. >> Or Jake from State Farm. >> I think he's also just an actor. >> Bro, Jake from State Farm is literally. like set for life, I think. They just.

keep putting him in the commercials. >> Well, the new Jake. >> Oh, there's a new Jake. Oh, boy. caught. it. >> really. >> Well, yeah. I mean, it's been different. for a while. The original commercial, do. you remember it was like Jake in his. khakis or whatever and then they. recasted him. So, the new guy in all the. commercials isn't the original Jake. >> Damn. >> I think original Jake from Safe Farm is. only the one commercial that was like. iconic. It's all the other. >> So, you think he only got paid for that? >> I think so. >> And it was just like a one-off payment. just acting, but imagine the rest of. your life. It's kind of like me being. the sweatshirt kid.

>> Yeah. >> It's like that thing that sticks with. you forever. That'd be cool though. Like, oh, two truths in a lie. My dad is. Jake from State Farm. >> No, that's pretty dope. >> That's badass. >> You go over to the crib and you just see. Jake from State Farm in his regular. >> I don't think Do you think he uses State. Farm? >> No. >> No. >> Hell no. >> He's never used it one time. >> No, he actually hates. >> He probably Yeah. Now he probably. doesn't want to. Like he's making sure. he doesn't. >> He loves Progressive. >> Oh yeah. >> Him and Flo hooked up once for sure. >> Flo. >> Yeah. They have a kid together. >> Flo. >> Yeah. The guy Co Gecko.

>> Ooh. This is ridiculous. >> Yo, the I. >> This is Bro, I used to think that Gecko. really talked. and one time they brought um the gecko. apparently from the commercials and I. was like, "Bro's boring as [ __ ] Bro's. just sitting in here eating leaves.". >> Wait, wait, where did they bring it to? Animated gecko. How do they even bring. it? >> Well, I guess they must have told us. And I was like, "Bro, this [ __ ] is. lame." Like, he's just sitting there.

Like, why is he not walking around? I would be so disappointed. You know. what I used to think when I was growing. up? >> Imagine he comes up to the frame and. he's like, "Fuck you." And it goes back. down. >> Wait, what the [ __ ] That disappoint me. When I was younger, I would think that. like when songs are playing on the radio. that that artist like like if Justin. Bieber sorry is playing, I thought he. was singing it in real time and I was. like, damn, they're working around the. clock. >> God, it's this guy's working overtime. >> Yeah. Like that's always like they're. playing Sorry. >> He doesn't even sleep.

Holy [ __ ] I'm like, how do they do this. all the time? >> I thought that about TV shows. >> Really? >> Cuz I thought it was like theater. I was. like, oh, they're doing it live. >> Ooh, damn. >> Yeah. No, it's fun being young and just. dumb. >> So idiotic. >> Yeah, just thinking like I don't know. Yeah, it's just fun. >> I always wondered how like he had like. two voices going on him at one time. I'm. like he has a background singer going, you know, like. >> Oh, you were like he's got a full. orchestra choir. I used to watch Sex in.

the City in my basement and. >> Yeah. What the [ __ ]. >> And I literally would like. >> Don't say it. Don't say it, Jacob. >> Yeah. Cuz I thought it was going to be. like Sex in the City. And they hardly. have sex in that show. >> Like. very rarely do they actually make their. way. >> They very rarely make it to the bedroom. It's always just them talking. I was. like, "This is not what I'm here for.". >> He brought 10 years old,

>> dude. I would just skim through the. stations and when my parents would come, I'd like flip it to Nickelodeon. They're. like, "What are you watching down here?". Nothing. >> That's actually insane. >> My pants are just off down. >> to [ __ ] like gumball. >> Oh god. >> No. That's crazy. I don't know how I. thought of that. >> Well, that's just thinking of like being. clueless kids. It'd be like thinking. you're watching porn on TV. >> Yeah. Um, Jersey Shore was fun to watch.

as a kid. >> I never watched it. >> Good show. >> What's like the most iconic thing you. guys have never seen? >> Like is there any big movie like haven't. seen Star Wars or something like that? >> I haven't seen all the Star Wars. >> You've never seen? >> Never seen all the Harry Potters. >> Never. Yeah, >> these are all crazy to me. >> I have a really hot take, but I. >> Objection. Guilty. >> I'm guilty. I have a really hot take of. a movie I watched for the first time, but I am scared to say it because I. think a lot of people are going to get. mad. Say it. Say, say it. >> I watched Twilight for the first time a. couple weeks ago.

>> I've never seen it. It's mid. >> Yeah, shit's ass. >> I couldn't finish watching the first one. and I literally started screaming. I was. like, "This is what the hype's been. about." The answer is obvious. Edward's. obviously hotter. Sorry. And then what. the [ __ ] And then. >> wait, isn't there a guy named Jacob? >> Yeah. All right, bro. >> And he's a werewolf. But what the [ __ ]. >> That's pretty badass. >> Apparently, mind you, there's seven. [ __ ] Twilights and it ends with guess. what? She has a baby with a [ __ ]. vampire. Who could have thought?

>> It was [ __ ] It was [ __ ] I. couldn't even finish the first one. But. if you like Twilight, I think if I. watched it when I was 13, I would have. liked it. But. >> Jacob, don't watch it because literally. your character, I say your character, but Jacob uh somehow falls in love with. the main character's daughter that she. has with the B. >> Yeah, he falls in love with the baby. >> She Yeah, he imprints on her. >> Goes a little James Charles. >> God, they should cast him for the. remake. >> Yeah,

>> that would be good. God damn, that's. awesome. >> I'm sorry. And if you like Twilight, I'm. glad you do. I wish I could. I just. >> Percy Jackson. I did like that movie. >> I remember watching that in school. >> Um. >> I remember liking the books a lot and. then the movie came out and thinking it. was med. >> See, I never read the book. >> I I was the type of reader that would. just flip a page every 30 seconds, but. never actually read anything. >> I didn't know how to read until I was. like in fifth grade. >> What? >> Yeah. >> Really? >> I literally would just go to the book. lounge and just flip the page every 2.

minutes. >> That's what I used to do in popcorn. reading. you just pay pretend that. you're going along with it and just flip. the pages and [ __ ] like that. Like I. wasn't a good reader and [ __ ] Like I. used to do CCD when I was little and. they'd make you like read the Bible and. [ __ ] and I used to do it in accents and. stuff cuz I wasn't a good reader. >> Yeah. >> Damn. >> I didn't know how to read. >> I loved reading. >> I would just look at the pages and then. you'd see that one guy who obviously did. know how to read and he was just a book. wizard, you know? And I was so jealous. >> They like it looked. >> just follow along with them.

>> Yeah. I should have. Every time he. flipped a page, I would flip one. >> Exactly. You just got to find the You. just got to find the rhythm. >> Oh my god. You got it down to like the. second of knowing when you flip. >> So, what was Dude, before the book. clubs, did you guys have that where you. have to like everyone read gets a book. and then you meet up and you have to. talk about it? >> I don't think so. I don't think I had. that. >> No. >> No. We just did like pop. They'd make. the whole class read a book, but it. wasn't like book club. That was the. scariest thing in the world cuz they. would ask you questions and you didn't.

even read it. >> I had no idea. >> You just read the. >> I would start they would always start. asking me questions cuz they knew I. didn't know how to read. Like it was. bullying damn near. And everyone else. would be like, "Oh, I love this. character plot." And I'd be like, "Yeah, I loved it, too.". >> Yeah. You would just like literally copy. whatever the [ __ ] they said. >> Yeah, it was bad. Um. >> I never had a spelling bee growing up. I. somehow always got the class that didn't. do spelling bee, so I literally didn't. know how to spell [ __ ] To this day, I. really don't. Yeah, I still don't. >> Yeah, I'm really bad at spelling. >> Good thing like and also did you ever.

have to write like essays? >> Yeah. Yeah, I think every you said that. like it's not a common thing, >> bro. Well, you guys ever been in a book. club? All right. No, I didn't know if. you guys if we were born on the same. earth because you guys didn't have book. clubs. John, did you have a book club? >> Yes. >> Okay, there we go. There we go. There we. go. Okay, >> Jacob, I thought you said you couldn't. read though. What are you reading in. book club? >> I wasn't reading anything. I was just in. it. They loved me.

I had fun. Um, [ __ ] What was I saying? Oh. Oh, essays. Now kids will just use. chat GBT. >> Yeah. No. Isn't that insane? >> And I actually had a. >> We used to do Spark Notes. >> I did use Spark Notes. >> Quizlet was my [ __ ]. >> But yeah, it's the same thing. >> But would that help write the papers? >> No, but it give you all the key. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> [ __ ] and then you just rework. >> But you have to think about what to say. though. Now kids could literally be like. type it with this and mess up a couple. little things on purpose. >> Yeah. No, that's what's insane. They.

actually I I hate AI. I'm. >> I saw a teacher in school be like this. was a viral video. He's like I've been. teaching for 15 years. And he's like the. class average is a 65. Everyone in this. class got a 95 on their paper. He's like. what did you guys use? And some random. girl just stands up and goes we all use. this website. AND EVERYONE GOES, "A!". >> NO [ __ ] WAY. Why was she mad? >> She said, "We used something. They all. used it.".

>> That [ __ ] is guilty. Guilty as [ __ ]. >> Everyone in the class was like, "What. the [ __ ]. >> dude?" That would actually piss me the. [ __ ] off. >> He was like, "Everyone's going to go and. write on paper a new paper." And he was. all. >> That's what I think we need to do. We. need to go back to paper things. >> Mhm. Did you ever learn how to write in. cursive? >> Barely. >> I always just scribbled. >> No, I scribbled now. my signature ass. >> I made my way through this [ __ ] I never. actually had to learn this. >> No, my shit's so bad. >> Yeah. No, I don't know how to read it or. write it. >> I think I know how to read it.

>> I don't know how to read or write. >> Can I give you guys This isn't a court. case, but I'm going to put your. intelligence on trial. Can we do like a. pop quiz? >> Yeah. >> Okay. >> Okay. >> Let me pull up like a Are you smarter. than a fifth grader or something? >> Let's do it. >> The answer is no for me. >> Kayla's Kayla's probably smarter than a. fourth grader. >> I think it's I think so. I had a good. >> fifth graders. Uh, >> I graduated with like a 4 point or no, no, like a 3 point um five or something. >> Damn. >> I had a good I had a good one. >> All right, here we go. >> Yeah. >> How many inches are in 2 yards?

>> Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay, wait. I know this. No, no. I. know this. >> Four feet is a yard. >> 48 inches. 48 inches. Wait. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. >> Am I right? Is 4T 1 yard? >> 3 ft is one yard, right? >> Yeah. >> Three. So then, >> no, you're taking my answer. You're. >> 72. >> for. >> 32 31 31. >> 72 for two yards. >> 31. >> 72 in for two yards. >> It's 72. >> Yeah, >> that was good. One point, Jacob.

>> One point to Jacob. >> Okay. Well, >> well, I didn't even know what I was. saying. >> No, that was good. That was good. You. came up with that. >> All right. >> All right. >> That was good. That was good. >> How many syllables are in each line of a. haiku? I I that sounds like gibberish that. question. >> Wait, what is it? A haiku. >> That sounds like it's a poem. >> A haiku feels like a slur. >> I write haiku. >> Why does that sound like a slur? >> Hi coup feel weird. >> What is a haiku?

>> It's a poem. >> How many syllables? >> How many syllables? It's a poem. So it's. like a threeline poem. So it's like da. da da da da. >> five. >> Well, it's three. It's going to be three. different numbers. So it could be like. >> what? 357 or something. It's like three. different How many syllables are in each. one? >> Seven. >> 67. >> Um, no. >> 369. >> 357. >> 575. >> [ __ ]. >> I was [ __ ] close. Yeah, I was close. >> Let's give it to Kayla. Close.

>> Let's give it to Kayla. One. >> I'm not giving it to either of you guys. >> I'm not giving that. >> [ __ ]. >> I was like, what is that? >> A poem. Why don't they just say poem? >> [ __ ]. >> Like, why do we need to use these crazy. words? God damn. I'm I'm getting angry. >> In the word unnecessary, what is the. prefix? >> Necessary. >> Is it? >> No, it's un. I'm going to kill myself.

I'm going to [ __ ] kill myself. No, >> it's pre is the start. >> Just the confidence in that. You got to. respect that. Holy [ __ ]. >> I'm crying. >> I don't know why that was so [ __ ]. Okay. Okay. Okay. >> All right. What part of speech is the. word quickly? >> What part of speech?

>> Quick. Oh, no. Like a verb, a noun. >> Wait, wait. Quickly. >> Quickly. >> Adjective. Adjective. >> It's an adverb. >> ADJECTIVE, >> BRO. SEE, JACOB just isn't saying [ __ ]. >> So, I look so dumb. You're waiting for me to get it wrong. Just waiting for Kayla's and looking at. Richie and then laughing.

>> Richie looks so funny. Oh god, I'm actually crying. >> You guys are guilty as [ __ ] with this. [ __ ]. >> Wait, I do one more. >> I got a couple more here. Oh my god. >> This is really fun. >> This is fine. >> I can't go down like this. >> Yeah, this is bad. >> I'll try. >> Who is the 16th president of the United. States? >> Thomas Jefferson. >> I don't know. I just. >> Okay. Wait, wait. Thomas Edison. >> Oh, >> Abraham Lincoln. Guys,

>> I was going TO [ __ ] SAY THAT, BUT. THEN I THOUGHT I WOULD SOUND DUMB. >> YEAH, SURE. KAYLA, I was going to say. that. That's what everyone says. >> I was going to say that. >> Somebody just said, "I'm bully you guys. Do you want me to stop or should we. keep?". >> No, let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do. one more. >> Come on. Let's do it. This is fun. >> These are so good. >> Necessary. I'll never know. >> What's the name of the last queen of. France? >> Queen Elizabeth. Wait. No, no, no, no, no, NO. DO NOT.

[ __ ] QUOTE. >> NO, it's. >> Queen. >> I'll give you a hint. It It doesn't. really start with Queen. She was the. last queen, but people know her as like. they'll say the name. >> of France. >> Princess Diana. >> The. um is this a well-known person? >> I mean, in history, yes. She's the queen of. >> what is it? Poutro. >> It's the last queen of France. >> We know who this is.

>> I'll give it to you. What is it? It's. Marie Antoanette. >> Yeah, I would. >> I WOULD HAVE NEVER WAIT, GIVE US. ANOTHER. Give us a. >> No, this this is awesome. >> Oh my god. >> We just need it one more. >> and we'll figure this out. >> Okay, let me go a little easier. >> That was so funny. >> Here, some of these. That was a tougher. question. Let me go a little easier. Um, what year did the United States land on. the moon first? >> 1986. [Laughter].

>> I know this. I know this. >> 200. >> 1999. >> 19 1975. 1985 1965 1961 195 number. >> Huh? >> It's your favorite number. 1969. Boom. >> That's where my dad was born. Really? I. should have guessed that. >> Damn. What if he was born on the moon? >> Yeah. How are you? How is that working? >> Wait, how did they get there? You know,

there's a whole thing going on where. people are saying we never went to the. moon. >> So, actually, that question was. incorrect because. >> we never went You mean what day did they. go to the studio and take the pictures? [Music]. >> You mean what day did they [ __ ] build. the set? I mean, whatever they wanted. >> This is too [ __ ] funny to me. So, we're just going to get going. Yeah, this is really fun. >> Okay. What country is both an island and. a continent? >> Hawaii. All right, >> that was insane. Australia, right? Australia. >> Australia. KAYLA, YOU GOT IT.

>> OH MY GOD, I KNOW MY GEOGRAPHY. >> Hell yeah. Kayla, I don't know what I'm. saying. >> Hawaii. >> I'm glad that didn't become a bigger. thing. I just I'm scared to speak. >> What is the largest internal organ in. the human body? The the heart, the brain. >> Wait, wait. It's inside the body. The. >> largest internal organ. >> The liver. >> The liver. >> Wow. That was good. That was really.

good. That was really good. >> What the [ __ ] I was going to say skin. >> I was guessing. I guessed like three. times before. >> Okay. What? We'll do this. It's the last. one. >> What is the closest planet to the sun? >> Venus. >> Venus. >> What? God. >> No. No. >> Give me another guess. >> Jupiter. >> No. >> LIV. NO. >> WAIT. WAIT. There's a song. Mercury. Mercury. >> How do you know that?

>> That was so honest. Holy [ __ ]. >> There's a song. Yo, you guys just saw me. answer that. I go, there's a song. Mercury is closest to the sun. >> What's the rest of it? >> And then Venus is number two. I'm the. How about you? >> Neptune is number five. I don't know.

what it is. >> Wow. So, I'm dumb is what I've learned. I'm [ __ ] pissed off. >> Damn. >> Wow. >> That was hilarious. I want to go back to. the case. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, this is a banger. episode. Low key, one of my favorite. episodes. I'm going to say guilty that. we never graduated high school. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> No, like we probably didn't learn that. much. >> at all. We were not present. >> But we are judges. >> Judges. We did make it here today. >> We did go to law school. >> We did. >> So, >> uh they went to the law school of. cracking.

>> We went to the law school of heroin uh. with a master's degree in [ __ ] being. a bozo. >> Master's degree in baiting. >> Masturbating. Yeah, >> I have a master's degree in masturbating. >> and gooning. Um, [ __ ] All right, the next case here. Anonymous reader asks, "Is it crazy that. when me and my man are getting down and. dirty, he goes down on me and licks my.

ass?". >> No, man. That's cool. That's freaky. >> Yeah, I think that's I've heard of that. >> I I know somebody who eats her. boyfriend's ass. Oh, >> that that's what. >> But he eats her ass. He No, he eats her. ass. >> That's normal. >> Yeah, I I've never eaten ass. But. >> I've never had any ass [ __ ] But um. >> but um but respect. Everyone's got their. own things, you know. >> I Yeah, what the [ __ ] That's not. guilty. >> Yeah, I've heard of that before. >> Come on, that's normal. I respect that. >> Just self-conscious about it. But what.

not guilty? If you like it if you like. it, not guilty if you don't like it. And. she's saying he eats her ass. >> No, I think Yeah. Yeah, he eats He eats. her ass. >> Well, if you don't like it, that's how. somebody's ass is getting. >> honestly. Good for you guys. >> You know what? Thank you for calling in. and letting us know. I feel like that. shows that. >> you're getting better with the idea of. your ass being eaten. >> It sounds like it's like a guilty. pleasure cuz why would they call in and. say that? Like it sounds like they're a. little bit. >> They want reassurance. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. You're good. >> You're good. That's okay. I've never.

>> No, that's actually hella weird. No, I'm. >> neverate. So, >> I have not either. Yeah. Don't let. anyone yuck your yums, do your thing. >> Right. Get that ass, girl. Maybe eat his. ass tomorrow. >> No, that's what I was going to say. Now. you got to try. >> Yeah. Now you got to eat his ass. >> Do it. >> You got to try those turds, man. >> Oh my god. Eating a dude's ass. Oh my. god. I actually never would. >> Oh my god, >> that sounds awful. >> We We have an ass eating this. I wasn't.

going to include this, but we have a a. fan in the voicemails that does call in. and say that she wants to specifically. eat mine and Jacob's ass like all the. time. There was someone that calls in. and says that they want to eat her ass. >> I mean, [ __ ] I try all the time. >> I mean, why not, right? >> Wait, what? >> Richie, should we just Should we just be. like, "Yeah.". >> Hey, I mean, hey, that's the number. >> YOU KNOW WHO TO CALL. >> DAMN. >> NO, that's crazy. They just call and Can.

you find any of the calls? >> I can try to find one. >> THEY'LL LIKE CALL MULTIPLE TIMES. IT'S. LIKE ONCE every like this is like since. we started and like maybe like. >> once every month or so there's like the. same phone and they say it's like mine. or Jacob's or both of us. >> Wow. >> You know what? I appreciate that. >> Wow. That's kind of like a compliment. though. >> Yeah. It's kind of like a. >> I'm flattered. That's the way to say it. Yeah. >> A That's sweet. Very sweet of you. >> That's really nice. I'm glad they spend. their free time like that. Every night. before they go to bed, it's like routine.

to call in and say. >> they have like pillows with our faces on. it. >> I'm practicing. I'm practicing. >> Oh, I love that. >> God damn. >> All right, that's enough ass eating for. now. Let's go into the next case. >> Yeah. What's up? >> My cheating ex-boyfriend fingered a girl. on his couch in front of everyone and. then proceeded to show up to my house. the next day with flowers, begging me to. take him back. >> Guilty. Literally. Oh my god. Finger his. best friend. >> Finger his best friend's ass.

>> His ass. >> On his couch. >> Yeah. Guilty. That's weird as [ __ ]. >> What the Why is he fingering somebody in. front of a a lot of people? >> Yeah. I don't even like normal PDA. That's like. >> That's insane. What kind of [ __ ]. diddy [ __ ]. >> What the Who? No. Guilty. Your boyfriend. is not only a cheater but a pervert. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> That's kind of crazy. No, your boyfriend. like is weird. Do not take him back. That's [ __ ] insane.

>> You can find a guy. >> he shows up with flowers but just like. come on his fingers. >> You can find a man who doesn't finger. girls on a couch in front of everybody. and that will love you and not do. >> you can do it. I believe it. >> And we'll get you flowers. >> Yeah. >> Without that dozen roses. >> That's guilty. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Boyfriend guilty. >> Girlfriend not guilty. Not guilty. Go. [ __ ] his friend. Going his friend, gangger his friend. >> Finger his friend. >> Finger the friend. >> Maybe just even just. >> have a party and on on the couch just.

finger his friend in front of everybody. so he hears it through like everybody. else being like, "Damn, your ex-girl. fingering Tony on the couch last night. was crazy." That's good. >> It's awful. And for our last case here, >> oh god, this fan has asked me to put Jacob. Sartorius ON TRY. OH, >> JACOB, you're on trial for posting too. many thirst straps. >> Damn.

>> What the [ __ ]. >> Those headphones was. >> I'd like to defend my client and say. he's just got that dog in him. >> Oh, >> wait. Where do I do thirst traps? >> I'd like to present some evidence on. your Instagram. Um, it seems like you. don't even know how to wear your pants. upright because your boxers are out all. the time. >> That's not thirst trap. And that's just. >> No, it's it's plenty cuz I don't need to. see that Vline. >> Ooh. Oh, hey. At least there Hey, she. noted to be lined up. You know what I'm. saying? I'll take it as a compliment, man. No, but I don't like thirst traps, man. I uh but not intentionally, but I.

do actually. Sometimes I think sometimes. I'll take a little mirror picture for. the stories. >> Um. >> and yeah, I don't know, man. Sometimes, you know, just like just like girls like. to feel pretty, you know, and they like. to post up when they're wearing their. favorite outfit or they feel sexy or. whatever it is, guys like to do that. [ __ ] too. >> I rest my. >> say guilty. >> Right. >> Guilty. Guilty. >> That's crazy. But if but if but if we. were talking about a girl, you would be.

like, "Not guilty. She's just one of the. girls.". >> Like, bro, this [ __ ] is double. standards. Am I right? >> Look behind you. Can I be your puppy? >> Okay, Kay, look. I don't even want to. see your Snapchats from when you were. 13. Like, I'm sure there was something. on there, man. You know, can I be your. puppy? Dude, that was a nice question. But no, I did. No, like that's why I was. like, I don't really post that type of. stuff anymore because I used to. That. was like the whole thing. Yeah, >> that my all my musically, all that. I.

get that. >> But yeah, I still maybe casually. >> I think it's okay. And that, you know, that is I love a thirst drop and I like. I like making them. I like posting them. I like it. >> Yeah. >> You know, >> but you don't get put on trial for it. >> Like me. >> That's the thing. I. >> Whoever sent this. >> We actually had three people send this. >> What? All about thirst traps. >> Jacob's about to like the least. >> Bro, I'm deleting my Instagram. >> Wait, three people said this?

>> Three people wanted me to put Tacum's. thirst traps on trial. Wow. >> I didn't even think I did that. >> Wow. >> That's crazy. >> I don't I think you did. >> So then Justin Bieber thirst traps too. >> Damn. >> Cuz like. >> But it's Justin Bieber, >> but I'm Jacob Sartori. >> Like. >> damn. >> Wait, but that's the thing. Justin. Bieber's married. So is he. >> like I'm dressing like him? Like. literally that's the blueprint. >> Are thirst drops bad? >> No.

>> I I don't think so. Only when I not. guilty. You're not. Oh, damn. It's a. problem. >> Only when I do it. It's It's a problem. when I do it, but it's cool when they do. it. >> [ __ ] them. >> [ __ ] them. >> Damn. >> Whoever sent this in, [ __ ] you. >> I rest my case. >> Okay. Not guilty, I'd say. >> Yeah. No, I'm going to say not guilty, man. >> I'm going to walk the streets today. >> Bonk, go to horny jail. >> What? Bot what? >> Bonk. Go to horny jail. >> Go to horny jail. >> Have you never seen that? >> No. >> What is that?

>> See, you're just laughing at [ __ ] I. just liked it. Horny jail was funny. But. that's the thing. >> Up on the TV. >> Bonk, go to horny jail. >> I thought that was I thought. >> bonk go to horny jail. >> Oh, I love that. Yeah. Well, I'm uh. >> I would say moral of our stories is. we're both guilty for being hung over. >> Yeah. No, that's what we can I can. gladly say that I'm like sickened hung. over. >> Well, see you guys on Banging Out.com. >> and we're going to dip balls in soy. sauce. >> I am going to do it. So if you I will do.

a meat reveal for the banging out. So. >> meatballs are. >> meatballs. Jacob's meatballs are going. to be. >> Yo, I should start a meatball company. and call it Jacob's meatballs. That's. actually genius. >> Like everyone has their own product. What if I start making like actually. >> But they have to be good ass meatballs. >> Like create a restaurant that's just. called Jacob's Meatballs. >> This reminds me of like the South Park. bit of like Chef Salty Balls. Do you know what? No. No. But I know.

what you're saying though. Like it's a. Wow. Maybe I just a limited edition at. like a at like a Italian restaurant. >> because it's pickles. You could do like. a meatball collab. >> They just come in like a Oh my gosh. They come inside of like a a penis. and there's just And they're actually. good. >> I think you actually need to look into. this. >> I think this is genius. >> Yeah. No, that's actually insane. >> Or I do pop-ups. But how do you Wouldn't. the meatballs go bad? >> You'd have to make them fresh. >> H Yeah,

>> right. Or keep them frozen. We'll see. >> Anyway, guys, that's enough about balls. >> We'll see you guys. Subscribe, leave a. like, comment down below. We're on our. way to 100. Okay. Oh, actually, by the. time this airs, we might already be. there. >> Yep. We're filming this two months. early, I think, or a month. >> Yeah, about a month and a half. >> Jacob's filming a movie right now. >> Right now, hopefully I'm not doing a bad. job. So, no, we're just stacking up for. you guys because we love you. Goodbye, guys. >> Goodbye, guys. >> You can wear my sweatshirt.

and you can tell your friends we'll be. together till the end. Girl, you can. wear my sweatshirt. Subscribe.