You Are Always With You | Ep 8 | Bad Friends with Andrew Santino and Bobby Lee

I just think that and this is just my. humble opinion yeah that you just maybe. need a little bit more spirituality in. your life first of all I grew up a. Catholic so you don't [ __ ] I know the. spiritual yeah well that [ __ ] you up it. makes you not want to be spiritual more. namaste spirituality now mistakes hard. to get to when you're when you're what. you in your Catholicism as your youth. but what I'm saying is is that can you. at least be open to it or no disability. no because as a young Catholic you learn. to not be open if you're open that's. when you get caught you're gonna change. man change asking you inch and Barry.

that's Mary because clinched Barry. because people like me bury your. emotions because people like me are. gonna get affected right by me you're. gonna snap right and then I'm gonna be. the one that shot friends Jules are you. ready to start yeah she doesn't want to.

be here isn't it crazy that you brought. a 14 year old girl to the studio yeah. well um like what I don't know if it's. crazy it's not my [ __ ] daughter what. do you mean it's not your daughter. you think that [ __ ] you think that. person right there is my [ __ ]. daughter that's not your kid no it's. [ __ ] Julia Julianna that's wait. you're male dude that's Rudy Guiliani. you look good Rudy Guiliani yeah Rudy.

Rudy so uh my sister's older sister. honey honey I mean she's a Filipino lady. and she lives in the Philippines and she. had her oldest daughter is Giuliana. you're the oldest daughter of all the. girls how old are you 18. 14 no real are you really 18 yeah she's. 18 god they look so that that's why. people go over there cuz you can't tell. how old they are right that's why white.

weirdos go over there they go over there. I can't a holiday yeah here's my wife. and she thinks she's eight so you're 18. yeah are you in school. forty days what do you now as a senior. year of high school what is it what. junior year is there a mic over there or. no no because well George had it but we. don't I can't you want her to have the. [ __ ] mic that George had no we set it. on fire I burned it outside oh you did. yeah we had a [ __ ] ritual when I'm.

asked what I want to say though is that. I feel like you're breaking down I'm. having a breakdown I'm out an emotional. a mental breakdown is even talking like. even today you act like a little. beeyotch on the phone no I didn't act. like a [ __ ] I wanted to set this up I. know but what I'm saying is that you you. know what you opened with huh usually. when you call somebody open with hey. how's it going whatever you want. how can you how could you ever been. calling me back yeah well my texts like. you're my little [ __ ] side [ __ ] no. first of all what I am is don't get. angry in your organisation up but save.

in a adult type way okay all right we. have an adult relationship we're friends. okay here we go all right so say it in a. very mature way first of all I'm not. your [ __ ] okay I'm not your [ __ ]. uh-huh okay I am trying to organize this. podcast because you didn't want to do it. via satellite we tried twice to try to. do that right it didn't work so we're in. the studio together four people at home. were six feet apart six foot plus feet. apart okay we've all been quarantined so. we're doing this as safe as we can. no one's coughing no one has fever and I.

was trying to set this up this was hard. the new Dina why don't you just rub your. little coochie you know what I want to. hear when you cry - hello Andrew I wanna. hear your little [ __ ] cool coochie. you little [ __ ] so stop acting like. that you're acting you know what you're. acting like a friend of ours all right. that's what you're acting like and I. want to see this take it back but no. take it the [ __ ] - I'm serious take it. back or I'll get mad. well I'll kick this [ __ ] thing over.

and walk it I want to say this you're. not like him or this person that we know. but today you acted just like him okay. well okay take it back I'm not gonna. take it back all right. I'll throw this on you if you threw [ __ ]. you don't do that why you what I brought. my [ __ ] air gun do you have the gun. for real I don't hey put the stuff back. when I came in hot because we needed to. do this look for people at home let's. inform the audience reach. tried to do this via satellite it was. [ __ ] a [ __ ] record you know what.

let's what we'll give you a piece of it. right now. I tell me you have lots of those pears. pears or is that just the same one I. just have the same one that's just the. same that's not like you you don't have. like ten of those colors you just have. that one pair of that one that I always. see I have one pair of underwear. okay no don't look. no yeah this is hard to do I [ __ ]. hate this I hate it too.

it's just it's just not efficient I. can't feel you I can't feel a vibe from. you yeah I feel your negative energy not. being in the room so we just cut to a. clip of how how awful our interaction. was on that it was [ __ ] terrible is. the worst here's why I was the worst me. and you are great when we're together I. I don't if I'm separate we couldn't it. wasn't working it just there was no. rhythm I couldn't really feel you you. look like you were far away. kalila kept popping in in the background.

yeah and trying to figure out I was. going oh my [ __ ] people know yeah. right if there's a phone or like well if. I have to go on the road and back in the. day and they go well can you do it. because you're not gonna be in town but. they want you to do this radio show I. can't do it because I need to go in the. room and I need to make fun of people. yeah the only way that I'm that you're. gonna get any good rhythm comedic ly in. those regards especially something like. this is if I can feel you I can't do you. know and I stopped doing TV I can't do.

TV anymore either I won't do morning. shows I can't I I you probably really. weird on them I'm I'm so uncomfortable. you [ __ ] with the hosts I've seen what. you do our job I can't do that why. because I don't want to be that I'm so. annoyed that I have to be there. I get look it's so funny because I go. back to a city right and when I show up. I go where's what's-his-name and then. they were everywhere every time I go. back they always go yeah that person. didn't want to do it again. yeah they quit because of you nobody. that you were you you weird them out.

yeah yes yeah yeah you will that's my. [ __ ] goal I like weird them out. enough so that they one day go we don't. want him well a bunch of comics it like. Sakura had a run of stuff that he did so. everyone did that but then when I would. go I would just feel so it's so. disingenuous to begin with I just felt. like here you be the morning host and. I'll be me okay hey welcome back to. Philadelphia in the morning thank God Oh. a very funny comedian from the Joe Rogan. podcast and from his his mixology what a.

view great after he is on that. Andrew Santino how are you Andrew I'm. great you know that shows not on the air. anymore I do have another show that's on. right now and I have my own podcast so. thanks for having me on. [Laughter]. very good very good. tell me about yourself uh I'm from. Chicago Illinois and I'm on the road. right now. great okay are you are you like Jerry. sighs do you know Jerry Seinfeld that's.

I I lose my I can't do it III it that's. you know some people say they have. social anxiety when they get out around. crowds they get uncomfortable. polar-opposite when I'm in a room with. someone like doing that thing yeah I. crumble on the inside right I can't. handle the anxiety goes through the roof. when somebody's like so uh do you do any. relationship material I don't know how. to get away from it I don't know how to. because I can't be mean cuz then I look. like an [ __ ] because you know even. when I'm not being mean I sound mean. yeah right like ask me ask me what kind.

of jokes I do here so um I love the. comedy i watch it on Netflix I love the. comedy wonderful what kind of jokes do. you do do you talk about relationships. it's not most of it is just me I'm. almost no but I love it when you love it. when you comedians do your impressions. Oh why'd you a very good Christopher. Walken or or or uh God you do a Donald.

Trump impression I actually do an. impression of you I've done I've. actually like an [ __ ] every time I. talk this is what I want say ask me okay. welcome to New Jersey's finest wkq am. here in the morning today with me is mr. Bob Lee Bobby Lee is a comedian a dirt. we love this guy we love this guy now it. might hit a mad TV's finest you've seen. this guy Matt TV's finest Bob you're.

doing how many shows you how many shows. you doing here no you and me Toki the. dum-dum I would love to me who's Toki. and I want to pull my dick out and do a. little [ __ ] and then they have to go. oh my gosh. that's what I want to do when you pull. out your penis you want to follow your. penises talk you fought I would love to. pull out my penis on him borning Abbi I. would probably get cancelled No. yeah but if I pulled out my dick in a. morning news show yeah he would stay on.

the internet for life but they would. blur it they wouldn't first of all they. wouldn't put it out oh it's live it's. live yeah but there's a delay there's. like a five-second delay oh there is. yeah but how about this I think it'd be. okay it'd be appropriate to do if it was. all men in the room don't you think if. it's all guys don't you think it's okay. no no why it's just a bunch of buds no. have you ever pulled your penis out in. front of a bunch of friends oh yeah yeah. so it's just a bunch of buds yeah that's. true. can I ask you a real question side note. yeah did you ever masturbate with other. guys when you were a young boy did you.

ever do that did you ever jerk off with. other boys so you did. white people do this thing white boys do. sleepovers and they'll boys will jerk. off together something I had to learn I. didn't know i-i've done I can't talk. about it no Bob I've done weirder things. than that yeah I know you have yeah at. sleepovers without do you ever have a. sleepover little boys oh yeah what did. you do come on Bob Bob its pointee.

people need to hear this stuff yeah well. you know I did more than masturbate I'll. just say that you have sex with other. boys no no not in the course did you. kiss other boys peepees honestly did you. have another boy kiss your peepee on us. a bar let's just put it this way I had a. dude I can't say his name yeah but no. there's no way he's got a family. probably now say it's first initial and.

then say is that never never and don't. [ __ ] do this his first name in his. last initial no I'm not gonna do that. but like eff Tony Tony. let's just call it Tony Tony okay Tony. Tony Tony Tony Tony Tony uh we did it be. a we'd be at a party mm-hmm anyway just. go come here how old Oh fourteen okay. happy drunk okay yeah I mean come here. and you just go behind a tree and make. him you make me blow him he would just. grab your head and make you glow yeah. yeah just a body thing yeah yeah just a. bio just that would do it what do you. say when it's over.

nothing that's the great thing about it. you walk away you pretend it didn't. happen. does he does he come no so he just say. hey check out my penis yeah and then. he's like get out here what is he so no. there's no get out of here it's just. here because I'm not a [ __ ] right right. right I have dignity or not a [ __ ] he. described you're Hannity and I have. ethics right right so he's got a treat. me like a [ __ ] garbage. yeah I'm not some garbage do it and then. you just kind of stand up you don't you. you don't really lock eyes you kinda I.

look at the tree oh you don't look at. him into the sky with a smile like he'll. just like do this yeah I look at the. tree with like like well why did I just. do that and then we just go in and. they'll just don't go to the party and. start dancing well pretend like it. didn't have it my mouth is still wet but. how many other years how many other men. made you kiss their penis. three or four Wow Tony Tony Tony was. Tony Tony but he was the worst. perpetrator huh he's not a perpetrator.

it's not like he forced me to do he just. goes you just need a suggestion and I. and I did it that's not okay he said he. made a suggestion he said he didn't ask. he said he didn't say will you sucked my. [ __ ] he just said come here and he made. you do it come here and just grab the. back of my head and come here that's not. a ciggy that's a force that's what he. said yeah but I could just pull I have. neck muscles I could pull it back and go. no and I could speak English papi. what you were forced that was real I'm. not going there I with you I just went. there we're there we're inside we're.

right now we're inside the room I closed. all the doors ever had a gay experience. I think I I was thinking about that the. gayest experience I've had was like well. as you were talking I was like dude I. have had anything gay like that kind of. stuff nothing like that no but like at. sleepovers yeah boys will watch a porno. and jerk off together you've done oh. yeah but you don't you know you're not. looking at each other you like your dick. is under a blanket everyone's pretending. like they're not jerking off but they're. all jerking off yeah yeah yeah white.

white boys do like white blue yeah white. boys do that but they don't you don't. see other guys penises. yeah and you don't know that it's. everyone's pretending they're not. jerking off I forget to I asked you you. were never molested right I was never. molested no you've asked me that before. I've never. lissa but but one time I got an offer. from a distant family member how much. money it was a good muddy 60 65 bucks. yeah no I was never I was never molested. yeah I know a kid I kid.

obviously I know a kid and he revealed. something to me he goes growing up. somebody I know. I'm not even gonna go there come on Bob. bro we're not this is not we're not. gonna sit why we're not recording any of. this stuff we're not gonna out people. here it's just a private thing that. somebody had once told me about it is. somebody that you know yeah that he grew. up and his he knew this. multi-multi-millionaire in this town. they lived it yeah and he would like.

text not tax but call him and go I'll. give you 200 bucks if you just truck me. off what right and he would do it cuz he. was a poor he had a poor family oh man I. know but that's like if he's a. millionaire ask for more money to order. bugs is not a grand start with grand. start with one gram yeah if I was poor. in a town and and cuz you know I was. molested for free yeah nothing well. you're good stories but no yeah you got.

nothing but if I were to get paid for it. I think it wouldn't have been at that as. traumatic what do you mean you think it. wouldn't have affected you probably how. do you feel about I feel better but look. at my new car or whatever yeah yeah yeah. 200 bucks and how many times did he do. this I think he said about five or six. times and I and I when he told me so I'm. a good judge you should ask from you. know I got really good you want to. charge someone off like that for money. Jeff and look him in the how do you just. look away while you do it.

oh that's what I would do you were you. oh you would I would look right um in. the eyes oh you'd stare min the eyes it. would it would cause the I'm a kid I'm a. kid he's an adult. yeah and if you're jerking him off and. looking him in the eyes. yeah you know the guilt will set in Oh. big time right if you're just like how. old was he by the way when this happened. he must have been twelve fifty like her. age twelve thirteen well yeah twelve to. fourteen yeah you know what's the lookin. thing if I was 12. yeah just to [ __ ] with them I'd make. voices the whole tango just to [ __ ] with.

them just because I know he's a piece of. [ __ ] yeah so if I needed the money that. bad when I jerk him off and I would sing. that song I go baby the whole time yeah. just to get it so every time he heard. that it would be because he's a dude I. said that today yeah do you know this is. a real statistic this is this gonna blow. your mind and make you sad yeah I'm not. gonna say who I got the information from. because I don't want to out them but you. can look this up if you have access to. it since the quarantine since all this.

is going on there was a projection that. child trafficking was going to start to. decline decline Yeah right it almost. doubled 1.8 times dude how are these. perverts finding their I swear to god it. almost doubled the statistics you can. find online I haven't seen a kid in. three weeks I know what are they I don't. know I mean look at you look online I've. been touring around the neighborhood. with an ice-cream truck yeah with my van.

yeah and I said as I said yesterday I. said I where do perverts find how do. they find the time during this thing to. get even worse but then it made me think. they're shipping kids from yeah yeah. stuff like that where there's no way. they need out you know I mean yeah was. she was she yeah no I don't know I don't. know if she was one of those but she. what you hey when I send you back yeah. when you don't when I send you back.

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you're not gonna get this deal anywhere. else could just go to a video vision. comm / bad friends do it you know did. you grow up around a lot of lady boys. yeah yeah yeah what why that's such a. it's I'm so fascinated by lady boys I. think it's why it's such a what a fun. culture you know I know you know what a. fun and it's so accepted and promoted. when I was in Thailand and I was. shooting a movie in Thailand and I had. sex with a couple of prostitutes regular. ones mm-hmm but one night I was just in.

the mood you know how you get in the. mood sometimes well for what that's an. ice cream I just woke up with a tingling. sensation for dick no just in the mood. in a mood it um yes ah moods up that is. dollar yeah I never felt like that. before. okay since you know but I woke up and. I'm like you know what I'm in a mood. you're in a mood and I am gonna go down. to the [ __ ] town right and I walked. around and what happens is it's I don't.

know if you've been to Tijuana I'm in it. too you wanna multiple times yeah where. the kids come out of nowhere and check. this you would never I mean right but. you're in [ __ ] Thailand right they. were like nice there I'll suck your dick. Meester and they were coming out of. nowhere right and I had to like you know. I mean I miss your dick but though I for. some reason I was just like I can't I.

can't do it. what do you couldn't take that you can. go through as a [ __ ] thing I can't. take that extra step the [ __ ] thing. I'm okay with as long as they're of age. if you want to go have sex with a. prostitute that's over 18 I'm fine with. it. yeah the problem is a lot of those lady. boys are underage right aren't they yeah. see that's my beef that's gross. [ __ ] kids is gross you felt like. [ __ ] a [ __ ] because you wanted a. party cuz it was a nice Tuesday yeah I'm. down as long as it's a grown up you are. so if I don't want to do if I told you.

yeah that that's my thing lady boys you. wouldn't look down on me or Bay. fun of me in that way no I've supported. you our entire friendship with a lot of. weird [ __ ] I wouldn't look down on you. at all. yeah the feels not even a little bit if. it was of age I got a big problem with. the kid thing that's a weird why do you. keep pointing at missing kids I've never. [ __ ] a kid before I'm just saying she. keeps nodding off that yeah there's a. lot of lady boys that are little kids. there's a lot of kids yeah no kids yeah. I don't care about the adult stuff adult.

can do whatever they want as long as. they're ADD grown adults if adults are. like you know I saw a guy on the. internet yesterday somebody sent me a. meme there is like a whole this. masochistic porn where guys will hang. upside down from the ceiling on their. penises yeah and get and get hit you. know they people hit them and stuff yeah. and the woman spits on them dominatrix. dominatrix stuff but hanging by their. penis that's a new thing I've never seen. it I'm okay with all this stuff let me. ask you something as to adults right and.

I don't want to get in trouble out there. but I just want to propose an idea okay. propose she is why 18 why is that number. yeah because you know a thousand years. ago whenever it happened yeah right. there was some sort of meeting mm-hmm. right and a bunch of dudes got together. and go all right let's make them what. kind of dude just Christian white dude. what do I see why make that the legal. age 18 and you know there was one guy in. the back my wife is nine could we maybe.

skew it lower in some places yeah well. you know there's some states is not it. some states it's not it's not 18 at 17. there are certain states that it's not. the legal but why there is it because of. why it is 18 and 21 why are these. numbers arbitrary okay. is that the right word arbitrary. arbitrary is right yeah they do they are. arbitrary but they and I could be wrong. I'm not sure Rogan I'm not gonna I don't.

know that I don't know how to delve into. these things but like right what I think. is I want to know your thought on what I. have truth well what I've heard is I I. think it's because they say your your. growth of your brain activity and the. development of your brain when it hits. 18 yeah you kind of have developed your. brain in full so you're no longer an. adolescent you don't. adolescence still but what if somebody. that could let me propose this idea yeah. are there fifteen-year-old yes I'm not. saying that are said but I'll develop.

yeah their brains to come flu is there. any way to check that yeah and what. you're actually saying is you know they. say women mature faster than men so I. bet you an eighteen year old boys like a. fourteen-year-old girl so then you're. good theories also proposed that maybe. there was a 21 year old women mm-hmm. that their brains are not fully. developed I've met those as well most of. them no I think I think what you're. saying is right though why are those the. numbers I don't I don't know but also. like liquor is 21 here everywhere else. that's 18 right yeah because the rest of.

the world thinks if you could fight and. go shoot a gun at for your country for. war I don't know why you wouldn't be. able to drink alcohol we do it I think. because we binge more than other. countries because look at back in the. day like in the like early 1900s kids. ninth annual kids used to work in. factories what you also had a child at. 15 years old right people behind these. laws and these rules come up as we. progress a society but we live longer.

that's all I'm thinking we live longer. we live much longer use a diet 35 right. you would be a [ __ ] in it you had to. knock it out at 7 or 8 right yeah yeah. go to work in the morning as an. eight-year-old in the factory get home. you pump your six-year-old wife you. hopefully have a kid and you know and. then you die by 30 machen those days. when like in that if you see dad warden. before the 1950s people just do cocaine. because it wasn't illegal Yeah right I. imagined it was like a twenty thirty. year period where you can do heroin. opiate and it was completely legal oh.

[ __ ] it was just kind of uh people. looked at it like as if I said like how. people smoke pot yeah it's legal now but. you know if somebody doesn't like pot. and they see some of the smoked pot and. they're like I'm not really a fan yeah. that's what a heroin was like a hundred. years ago be like whenever if you see. old western movies and TV shows yeah the. Asian dude there's three jobs Asian. people have opium den opium den real. ornery laundry laundry a railroad right. those trial would be opium den you would. come this way mr. Jones right and they.

would sit there on the bed yes. and you know what I would do I would. smoke the opium and then it'd make you. suck my dick is amazing you forced him. to do it he doesn't even say no yeah. because I would I would do is I would. get people hi I would go through their. [ __ ] mmm right yeah I would wear I would. steal some [ __ ] right and then I would. probably smoke some of my own [ __ ].

no you wouldn't you no you wouldn't. because you would see the effect that it. has on those people all right and you'd. know that it would [ __ ] you up in fact I. think a lot of those opium dens were. weren't they controlled by the Mafia. wasn't it weren't they controlled by. like the what's that what's that wasn't. around back then I don't know man but. what's the new the who the Yakuza. isn't that the Japanese mafia yeah yeah. but there were Chinese I know I know I. know but I'm saying yeah yeah whatever. the Yakuza was for China were they they. don't like the triad that to try it. didn't they own all those drug dens was. another show if the Chinese mafia was.

around in the old way had to been what. do you mean. because mafia said because I'll tell you. why yeah is because the worst job you. could have as an Asian person back in. that day right is railroad is one thing. right but there was a division that had. dynamite duty yeah it was always the. Chinese yeah right so if they had mafia. or some sort of a union there would have. been somebody that stepped on Gus oh no. we're not gonna do that anymore right. right right right yes I don't think.

there was any enough talking for us or. there was any kind of you know mafia. debt help it just depends on how. protected you are right yeah you can't. protect everybody I want to ask you that. this is a very serious moment. dead serious do you think do you think. the statistics that they're kind of. skewing online and not really opening up. about about Asian people specifically. Chinese people getting attacked in. public is do you think is a real thing. you think it's becoming a real problem. I'm being serious. I read a news article that said people. are spitting on Chinese people now when.

they see them in public I'm dead serious. yeah I mean I don't think there's any. plate it or this is real listen all I. can talk about is my own experience and. online and. and a little bit I've been out I have. not experienced any cuts since the virus. if you're out in public. have you ever heard a racial slur now I. know we live in a very insular place. here we have you Jules. have you ever had no no but nothing have.

you felt any negativity from other. people when you go out in public or no. because I think that I'm sure it's real. but here's the thing I've come with I. come with my experiences with racism. before this event yeah and I do have. feelings about that but those feelings. haven't changed I still believe there. are massive amounts of people in America. that are racist sure right in the middle. some in the middle some in the south no. you're not no no I know yeah so um so.

that I come with so I think those people. are maybe extra racist now during this. time right but it's like I don't know if. racism has clicked up so right yeah. because that's what's a lot of this. stuff says they say like Trump's. rhetoric is making people more racist. you know they're saying because they. called it the Chinese virus which we. joked about before and the Kong flu it's. like is he making people more racist and. I think you're not gonna be more racist. than you already were a [ __ ] racist. yeah and I don't think this is like.

imploring people to go do more racist. [ __ ] if you're a dumb jaggoff that's a. racist you were gonna do whatever you. were gonna do because you're I don't. think this I don't think this changes. things that's my point I just don't I. don't think so but I do think that maybe. people are more it gives them power to. be more vocal about the racist sure yeah. I think that that could be the case it. they could they could post on their. Facebook to all their creepy friends. like [ __ ] goddamn [ __ ] chinks. again and they get away with it because. now you know because I'm now what's. going on and no one no one no one gets.

on them about it because people around. them that think like they do go yeah. [ __ ] you're [ __ ] Chinese so it. loops so maybe I do believe that for. some reason or another because of who's. in charge it's given it's given power. right to the one you like before you. were able to hide the [ __ ] yeah I mean. yeah hey our presence is number one on. Facebook number one number one on. Facebook when he's number are you on. Facebook.

I don't care we're in a pandemic listen. I'm not on Facebook I know but when he. said that I laughed I'll tell you why. when he said I'm number one a face yeah. when he said that right Trump yeah I. imagined right some guy hooked up to a. respirator right in a hospital going I. don't know why would that one paralyzed. guy being excited here's the thing is is. that regardless of music I don't know if.

he's a good president or a bad president. but it's like hey man um there's just a. time to say something yeah and there's a. time not to that's the thing it's like. yeah instinctually you know I want to. post certain things but I pass it I call. other people well you ask kalila before. you post I'll go cloud do you think this. is weird and she'll go no dude that's. just so [ __ ] narcissistic why would. you post that you go you're right who's. the comic that you call before you tweet. something is there someone that you go. for for black stuff it's Ian Edwards.

yeah. he's my guy yeah you know I'm not. kidding I'm either Ian Edwards is my guy. if I have a tweet that might be racist. yeah I always go is this racist and he. will genuinely go yeah no that's [ __ ]. up one night I was at The Improv I was. at The Improv and I'm not gonna say. whose I'm not gonna say who it was but. there was a buddy a comic-con friends. with black comic who was on stage and. you know look it's a typical thing in. our culture that we joke about that. black guys run the light on stand-up.

shows it's just a joke it's a joke. no but it's a it's a scientific it's a. fact but it's a joke it's a joke with us. right we always joke about it yeah black. comics usually run the light I don't. care that that's it's not racist that's. a fact if you're a comic it's something. we joke about right Mexicans do it too. yeah but they deserve it though I think. I'm a little time okay yeah no but. anyway so he was running a light a night. and I put something in my Twitter drafts. and I asked Ian about it and I said is. this bad it's not a mean joke I just. said every time a black every time a.

black comic smacks the mic on his leg. another one runs the light that's funny. and he was like he was like no no that's. not that's not that bad but I ended up. not doing it cuz I was afraid I would. just didn't want the thing yeah cuz. Twitter. so volatile at the time yeah remember. with anything that anybody would say. people look and they would jump on you. about it yes I just I was like now. that's another thing that you just. brought up though my pet peeve is is. that and I'm not saying why comics do it. as well yeah but it's like when a joke.

with a tell a joke and they laugh at it. themselves and then they you know mean. smack the mic on the mic I hate it I it. it drives me. well Chappelle does it a lot and I think. a lot of comics yeah but I think a lot. of comics stole it from him that's what. it is it's as he started it and yeah. fine when he does it because what he's. saying is a very very funny horse would. make him laugh yes now comics do it when. it's not funny yes. it drives me nuts smack in the mic on. your leg it's not your thing so don't do. it and then the audience gets fooled.

into it alright there's so many like. little tricks like that on stage that. people do that I I know about yeah we. know I mean there's a plane well you. guys are thinking you're thinking you. know when they say when they start you. don't mean pointing out what the. audience is what they're in and then the. audience laughs as it well they give. them that so they give them the thing. that they're supposed to laugh about. yeah so they go and I know what you. think I know what you're saying yeah. right so they just gave it to them trick. right it's a great trick there's so many. little tricks little part little parlor. tricks yeah I'm gonna ask you a real.

question at a conversation with a friend. the other day about this you talk real. fast do you think I know I'm on coke do. you think that do you think you have to. have a little bit of fucked-up-ness to. be a good comic it's a never-ending. debate no because um I think before when. I started doing stand-up that was the. case but I think comedy has changed do. you think everybody that's at the top. has [ __ ] up a little bit no I think. that I mean give me a list of common. I'll tell you who's not funky I'll give.

you a list right now Sebastian. Maniscalco yep he kills kids. he kills kids I know he goes to a. private island to shoot children who. else who else is high on the list they. all the Sebastian doesn't have any. issues I don't think I think it I know. his sister I've met his parents before. he's the nicest guy good work ethic you. know he's not even Italian you know that. right yeah yes he's Argentinean. no he's tough. here's another one yeah al Madrigal what.

do you mean good dude Al's insane al has. massive anger issues I know al very well. yells crazy has anger issues okay I will. kill I will kill somebody al is a. murderer yeah I know dude that will kill. somebody that aren't [ __ ] comics as. well what I'm saying is is that al is. volatile al can be volatile and he's a. crazy person I love al he's crazy okay. let's go let me call al let me see if he. thinks he's got watch this let's see if. yeah let's see if he's got any wait.

what's going on how do I do this why. wouldn't you pick up you don't think. he's gonna pick up the phone if I ask. him I think he'd pick up for me oh you. want to call him at the exact same time. yeah let's see well I can't I can't. connect to that oh now I'm connected oh. don't do it ya know I'm calling no let's. do it at the same time see who he picks. up first well no because I'm connected. to the Mike and you're not I'm connected. Hey look at how fast that was one ring. magical on the bank wearing a mask at.

the bank are you robbing the bad man I'm. in the bank wearing a full mask and. luckily all the tellers are wearing. masks so we're in good are you guys can. I ask you one quick question in the bank. before you robbing everybody do you. think do you think that you do you think. that you're a little [ __ ] up and you. have the capability of snapping and. killing someone if need be. if it came down to it and I needed to. kill someone I could say somebody was.

trying to attack one of the kids I'd. break somebody's neck or kill somebody -. you know it do you know how some comics. have issues and they had fucked-up. childhood and that's what drove them to. doing stand-up and we're talking about. healthy comics that I don't think that. had that kind of history and I mentioned. your name I don't I just feel like that. you're typically just a normal regular. kind of a nice guy yeah but al don't you. have an undertone of anger yeah yeah.

talk about it's well-documented. all right thank you soon I have a lot of. moments I regret good he's the [ __ ]. best. see he's killing it right now yeah I. know he's just a movie what was it. called water girl basketball time. basketball time welcome back I'm like. even if you he's you know he's second on. the he's second on the thing on the. billing or whatever when I saw his I. know it went Ben Affleck and how magical. it's a and he isn't another movie coming.

out - yeah he's got it he's got more. [ __ ] coming yeah what of killing the. game Ben Affleck by the way saw him at. the Clipper game yeah do when they were. doing the premiere of that movie a month. ago yeah distel I should I just him. heart you dissed him dissed him heart. Ben Affleck yabba nefeli he turned. around to go Santino and I go yeah man. what's up and I looked away why he. didn't do that he doesn't know yeah no. he does we got old beef dude Ben and I. have old-school beef what happened we. went out and a group of us went out to.

dinner one time yeah you know and. everyone's like no beefs new beefs with. I can they III don't it. I'm not gonna name me an ass licker out. at a nice dinner but you I'm telling. everyone listening right now all right. no but I'm making up the Ben Affleck. story you know but I know you're not I. know you're making that up. yeah but I just want a new look how. anger you're getting but don't name any. word I'm not but he's called me before. this guy and goes I have to [ __ ] that. guy [ __ ] that guy and it's usually a big. movie star or a TV star yeah what.

happened oh man I was out man and I said. hi to him and he was like acting all. weird the only reason I say [ __ ] is if. they deserve it if they deserve it I. only [ __ ] you if you deserve it yeah if. you're a dick to me I'm gonna be a dick. to you you're too nice you let people be. mean to you and you're still nicer than. bad no I do you don't think that I have. beefs with big celebrity personal beefs. with I know but they have to cross a big. line with a cross lines with Papa and. when Papa gets like I don't you know I'm.

at a point now in my career let's have a. war you're ready I am ready to have a. war because I'm 48 now I don't give a. [ __ ] you know ken John got pissed off. about what we said about him and him and. Joe Biden starting a podcast no Jon. McHale. got pissed off why would he pissed off. and John went public about it he said I. can't believe these two pieces of [ __ ]. are talking about me no they know I. talked to him he said Bobby's talented. Santino texted me and we talked I know. you lie again telling you you redheaded. freak a full of Chicago love you really.

did you talk to him yes What did he say. nothing we didn't talk I didn't even. remember even saying his thing about bad. runs what's their show called the. greatest good buds I don't know I didn't. talk to him I'm a good liar ray look. around you it's a wireless world and. everyone needs a great pair of wireless. buds but before you go dropping hundreds. of dollars on a pair you need to check. out the wireless earbuds from Ray Khan.

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rake on.com slash at fred friends that's. right baby hey let me ask you one more. real question are you finding time to go. to meetings how are you doing it do you. zoom in a meeting I did a meeting Monday. night it's a men's meeting it was. eighty-six men and everyone shared wait. wait wait. online yeah unzoom you do eighty-six. people in a zoom it took four hours how. can that be it was great you know I. shouldn't I [ __ ] say yeah so I had a. friend I have a friend that you know. he's a comic yeah oh I know who it is.

yeah but don't say its name yeah and he. was also in the meeting yeah. and it's what's great about zoom. meetings now is is that you could have. my phone to my left they have the. computer in front of me yeah and we. could text each other about what people. are wearing are like boohoo or I mean or. II had positive things but like I think. that's what made what didn't good just. sometimes when people share do. occasionally people share and people. like roll their eyes yeah and sometimes. I get angry like you know one time about.

a month ago somebody shared something. because in the meeting that I go to. there's a two minute time limit you can. only say for talk for two minutes only. two minutes and then as soon as the bell. goes off you have to shut up so is there. any black people in the meeting oh. there's a lot of uh people did they run. the limit no they don't even [ __ ] you. but there was a I swear to God there was. a guy that shared whose head is guys um. the cancer came back oh [ __ ] he's like. the cancer came back. and um it's spread he's crying.

how if it's spreading and they're saying. that the chemo might not even be enough. and yet is sit down yeah he stopped. talking you a still oh my god and the. people are like alright so in the next. guy shared and that's it like I wanted. to go give him another minute yeah give. him one more yeah is when it what this. is what I know this is a very hacky. concept but I mean this if it's. anonymous. why do you announce your name because I. can say do you use does anybody use a.

pseudonym. no I can say that I'm in a if I want to. but I can't call anyone else out that's. in the program I know but if I feel like. if I was in a program. I would not say my real name but because. it's anonymous no one's gonna talk about. I know but I don't know no one says your. last name no one you know I'll go well. they know who the [ __ ] you are. yeah I'll go hey my name is Bobby Lee. live that's my Twitter handle and you. know I mean cuz I don't give a [ __ ]. right a alcoholic and drug addict there. are some guys that are speak celebrities.

yeah who had changed their name as a. celebrity but they go by the real name. in the room all right right so a I'm. Tony you know man. but you know them as like you know mean. Marcus somebody else yes that was GTX. you know me the rapper otx whatever but. they'll go you have any rappers in your. program do we have everything. Wow we got like moguls we got you know I. mean plumbers we got all kinds of stuff. man plumbers and moguls that is cool see. it's kind of like ice in LA I feel like.

meetings are more of a [ __ ] cultural. meetup than anything else. no but it's men's and it's like it's. really real it's like what I like about. no women at all it's a men's meeting yes. is that no what why is that a normal. thing to separate sexist this is a stack. my stag meetings are better for me is. because the mixed meetings is there's a. lot of distractions going on number one. when you share you keep in mind because. there are women there as well. you get conscious of that you get. conscious of that and I can't really be.

that vulnerable but in front of men. right and when men are being vulnerable. and say whatever the [ __ ] you want it. feels better and also um what I like. about it is is that when I see people. that are doing in perceptional a better. than me or bigger than me famous wise. and yeah and we in just in terms of the. history books you know and they're going. through trauma and daily life things. that I go through and they still. struggle with issues it makes me I don't.

know it just gives me like you're I'm. not and I'm I'm not the only one on this. boat right you're not a lot yeah I'm not. alone yeah it feels really nice it feels. good that no matter where you are in. life no matter how much money that you. have no matter how much success you have. that you're always gonna number one take. you with you you're always gonna be the. same it doesn't fix you right everyone. knows that what. you get that's why you know when now. when people are when friends of mine get.

successfulness and that I just know that. you know whatever they get it does not. it's not fixing whatever issues that. they have they're the same guy sure and. that it doesn't really [ __ ] matter. you know man so all right I need to be. reminded that you take you with you is. very cool you're always taking yourself. with you so it's like um the it feeling. happy is an inside job yeah it is. Noah trust me I learned this I went to. what is it called al-anon is that. families of yeah yeah yeah yeah I don't. know if you went to it but anyway no I.

did I just remember I I didn't really I. went with my dad one time and I didn't. enjoy I remember not enjoying it it was. really hard to get me to go to go mmm. I really struggled because there are. comics that are heavily ended left no no. this was and by the way this wasn't. al-anon this was some other thing yeah I. I had been to that but this was a real. it was a conference like a national. media oh yeah yeah yeah an international. a copper oh yeah and I went to one of. those and he was there and it was really. ty was really tell your dad recovering.

mm-hmm. yes yeah he's been he's been clean for. years now but did he go to a meetings. yeah. oh he's active he said he's my brother. then yes he goes to NA meetings yeah but. he's my brother sure oh yeah yeah that's. cool yeah he's also much older now so I. don't he doesn't go as much as he used. to but but he I got you top with him you. duck well yeah I mean you live two very. different lives but yes yeah why because. his was more crime induce his landed him.

in jail a lot yeah but you know the. yours is more yours was more sanitary. they always say look for the. similarities not the differences okay. yeah yeah no well no yeah you are yes so. I went to one of those but it was really. hard for me yeah I still never come to. grips with the idea of like being in and. out of prison for drugs I never. understood that it made me mad he never. robbed anybody never killed anybody. never he never like imposed violence so. I don't want to do therapy yeah okay. yeah I just you know I just last time I.

went was oh wait oh hey I know I just. think that and this is just my humble. opinion. yeah that you just maybe need a little. bit more spirituality in your life first. of all I was first of all I grew up a. Catholic so you don't [ __ ] know that. spiritual yeah well it [ __ ] you up it. makes you not want to be spiritual yeah. so grow up a Catholic and see what would. go through those schools it's for more. namaste spiritual' nama states hard to. get to when you're when you're what you. and your Catholicism is your youth.

anybody who's a fan that knows about. Catholicism it'll [ __ ] you up as a kid. mmm it's crazy yeah but what I'm saying. is is that can you at least be open to. it or now do submit it no because as a. young Catholic you learn to not be open. if you're open that's when you get. caught you're gonna change. Barry and Barry that's Mary because. clinch Barry because people like me bury. your emotions because people like me are. gonna get affected right by me you're. gonna snap right and then I'm gonna be. the one that's shot mm-hmm no I don't.

want to die and I love you I don't I. would never shoot you and kill you. that's another thing that you do what. are our phone calls even though you do. answer with the [ __ ] like a [ __ ]. dude's ass a [ __ ] like a baby [ __ ]. stop saying because I will fight you I. will [ __ ] fight you and I don't want. to hear [ __ ] anymore stop saying that. all right say [ __ ] that's what you. how about this yeah you act like a very. loose [ __ ] is that better and you act. like you act like I know Luther I don't.

want to say don't worry I don't I want. to say the word does it why can't I say. that word that I'm thinking of [ __ ] no. you act like an aloof mentally. challenged person I get what you're. saying but look look. yes we all probably need a little bit. more therapy can I tell you a moment in. therapy that really made me but don't. just say everything that you're doing. though then I've noticed yeah is at the. end of our conversations I love you I do.

I say I love you do you know why I say. that [ __ ] you Bob do you know what I say. I love you do you know why I say all. right because it's my way of saying. I know I'm heavy I know I'm a lot yeah. you know I love you ah you said really. it's more of a it's not a real thing.

then no no it's saying like you see that. everybody I say it to people up to my. some only to my closest friends I won't. say too I would ever say to her Kalin. if Brian called Callen called you would. you say like he probably picks up the. phone and goes hey buddy no he goes hey. loose [ __ ] no no I'm counting the phone. and he picks up you're you're you're you. and you're calling me I'm Brian here you. go ready yeah. well Who am I you're you know you're. calling me hello just turn off my oxygen.

tank know if-- I said when bride want to. hang with Briah. I say I don't know if I say I love you. brother Tim but maybe a lot of guys I do. that I'm that I really do love all right. let me ask you this I only say to my. eyes do you really do love me I do I.

love you very my love you too she smiled. Jules Jules don't say anything but. because here's the thing with what I. just got to get this off my chest I like. that you're yelling at her and tell her. not to say anything this is like back. home for her she doesn't want to talk. she you can talk yeah she doesn't want. to do you have to pull put up number two. yeah she's shy but um you know I don't. know how she feels about me what do you.

mean I'd okay I I think I don't know I. don't know if she's like I have to live. in this house with this [ __ ] crazy. person right but isn't she living. rent-free yeah she is yeah well she's. fine if she's living rent-free then. she's fine pal all right well I think. that it it's it's difficult for her. because she's from the Philippines she. grew up in the Philippines she's out. here for school and we did a lot of. things to get her out here I'm she's. getting straight A's. she's acclimated into herself to. American society but she doesn't know.

the language I mean I think she'll is. she's fine but she does she. she you know she doesn't really talk to. me that much what do you mean she. doesn't talk to you that much she'll go. good morning Tita Bobby which is. I guess Uncle Bobby and I keep telling. her call me Tito Tito. what did Tito means uncle right yeah so. she'll go ahead and eat the Bobby how. are you fine and then that's look that. that's the conversation for the rest of.

the day so you she doesn't you think. she's like you cuz she doesn't talk to. you I think that she I don't know I just. for every once in a while would like her. to go hi how are you beings how you. feelings today maybe she's not in touch. with that side yeah she is young maybe. she's something maybe she's someone. who's just not in touch with that side. yeah do you think about that maybe but. one time of it was great because kalila. and I yeah when we were in Seattle we. took Jules to Seattle remember that and. then we were in the movie theater to.

watch hereditary yeah movie right and so. so it's me Jules and kalila and there's. this couple in front of us and there was. a point in the movie where it scared me. cuz it's a whole [ __ ] movie yeah. sorry about ah like that and then the. couple turns right will you shut up they. shut the [ __ ] up to me you'd be quiet if. you're gonna do that. skate home watch it at home [ __ ] you. lady right so kalila and I would. remember that. so kalila and I we stopped watching the.

movie and we just started staring at the. back of their heads right so this is. what happened start and then we so I had. to watch the movie twice because now at. this point now you want to kill these. the whole time and then jewel did you. feel what was going on then yeah so she. felt it yeah so then the movie ends the. credits starts rolling and everyone gets. up to leave not kalila die oh you said. we sat there and just stared at the back. of their heads and now they're sitting.

there like this like leaving they're not. [ __ ] leaving right they can feel you. guys oh yeah as soon as the lights go on. Kyle and I stand up and just start. [ __ ] right [ __ ] you. you. what the [ __ ] and we and Jules is and. then we follow them outside the [ __ ]. movie theater you know for state if four. levels yeah they're on the escalator. we're on the escalator kalila I just.

[ __ ] was she embarrassed was Julie. embarrassed. we're angry you ain't were you upset at. them for doing that or did you like it. she was upset too yeah yeah but it was a. crazy she seems too nice to do anything. like that though no but apparently she. is edgy she's got a dark side in that. Filipino language so I guess it was your. in Cebu yeah sometimes she is like. [ __ ] Sarah Silverman you know I mean. like oh but here in America she's like. [ __ ] librarian tt-to means uncle what.

is is there a word for red-headed people. like what's the word for weirdo or gross. or for glory augury what's the word for. augury but think now. yeah that's me yeah yeah I think now. it's a beautiful island thank you yeah. oh yeah that's what I want to do is. let's call Andreas cuz I know you want. to hear from your fancy B and let's see. what he's he's got for us in the chamber. cuz we could do video with him do you. want to see his face or you don't care I. love with the face so you do want to see.

him yeah by the way he called me to. their na he's named the other day he's. getting he got kicked out of his place. really they can't afford it and he asked. me to he's like could you loan me a. little bit of money yeah no we don't we. don't need help I said you'll figure it. out grow up I said be a man dude grow up. don't be a dick in this [ __ ] I sent. him monster calm there's a ton of jobs. you can get I said there's a whole hola.

hola que pasa hey do you want to do do. you wanna do you want to um come on do. your video stand up right now and you. have the ability to or no yeah we want. you to make the jokes that you prepared. no but I want to do let's do a different. exercise what do you want let's do some. improv which with him you so I want him. to stand there right right and he's. gonna improvise the bits okay hey. undress I need to put him up against the. wall because because the challenge isn't. strong. alright today I'm gonna get on Google.

I'm gonna get on google chat and hit you. okay okay yeah I'll FaceTime you then. how about that how about that okay yeah. piece of [ __ ] thank you to Don he's. gotten a little - ever since we started. you know employing him I gotta tell you. he's been a little much we have to be. careful though because I know I've been. on podcast before yeah and I've had you. know I've seen witnessed people that.

were like an engineer or somebody that. just was in the background get kind of. popular on a podcast and then they they. changed so we got to put them on you. think he's changed I just we just don't. want that right we don't want that to. get to that way I don't want to be need. be Jules can take over all right here we. go let's see if we can see if we can get. here hey there he is.

hey guys hey Harry seem nervous. yeah why do you seem so nervous so um. you know Andreas the last the other day. when you did it you read it off the page. they're still to talk show II jokes for. me yeah so we want we want you to just. improvise a little bit and and not and. just improvise it doesn't have to even.

be funny but I just want you to not. gonna be funny. thank you right you can only you only. see me do you want me to turn it so you. can see Bobby no I don't need to see him. he doesn't need to see that yeah so like. you know I want him to like do more. Seinfeld II jokes like what's up with. airports well you want jokes or improv. yeah yes I talk about airports is riving. how about how about you get up there you. start do one of your one of your regular. jokes and then you're gonna talk to me. and Bob as if we're members of the. audience to try to engage with us okay.

let's see how good you are crowd work is. what we call it you ready okay all right. get up there read read one of your best. jokes and then start doing crowd work. with me and Bobby okay okay right okay. right here we go. we want to do the intro this time yeah. yeah I'm gonna do the intro right go. ahead. hey welcome to the fart Factory laugh. house here in Connecticut I'd love to. bring up this next guy he is incredible. he's a size 37 waist where the [ __ ] did. you go okay get off camera then we'll.

start that way here we go ready hi. welcome back to the fart Hut chuckle. [ __ ] house this is your next comic he. plays clubs and colleges Haeundae what. we were shooting now they're Episode six. of my friends I found a note from Bobby.

in the inlet in the trash can. oh wow yeah Bobby wrote this note. yeah I think I mean Bobby brought this. note it has any like you know some ashes. from his cigarette says you know Bobby. Lee's resolutions in times of corona. exactly okay so let's see what he wrote.

make sure to touch base enough so people. notice I wear gloves and yeah I think. he's doing a great job with that don't. you think. okay Leila's staggie Valley and more my. plaster that's good it's good good good. challenge change one password from two.

two two two two one two three four so. fast can guess it yeah I think that's a. good one because a lot of people have in. common. I stopped using Felton as a chair and. start pedaling more and candless to bear. Christ. in triathlon yeah so he needs to start.

training work and this is I tried the. low-carb Lou Malnati's pizza cuz you sit. in too much of the other you kept. running on so yeah the other side of the. streets on Mondays. yeah name to Bobby exotic to enter the. power high hall of fame we be more woke.

and settle up the alarm before noon and. then the last one says here half and. half an CB right me 15 minutes of jokes. for my special he's crashing it oh thank. you so much yeah. okay do some crowd work to summarize. crowd work do some crowd world like. we're audience member audience members. just ask will you throw them so guys. what do you think are you from from San.

Diego did more more more what do you do. for a living. stay on that audience member David what. do you do oh I work at PF Changs. I'm a waiter yes okay hey man you're.

killing stick to this member of the. audience do it what do you think what do. you make that so what do you mean you. thought so I just like the competition. yeah yeah of course you do yeah go to.

Andy now go to Andrew let's go to. someone else. the ginger one that one out what's your. name. what are you from I'm from Los Angeles. California oh wow so you guys how you. doing through this pandemic I'm good. we're just making it through man how are. you I'm great my one-bedroom house.

you're where the comedy we're at a. [ __ ] comedy club yeah amazing comedy. club. yes performing to this immense in like. public yeah so ask me what it is great. ask me what I do for a living. oh I'm a mechanic I actually fix cars oh. yeah yeah yeah do you speak Spanish si.

oh yeah so me coach it unum problema oh. well do you want me to help you fix it. absolutely okay no like change the tire. I do do you know how to change a tire. I do great this coming the PF Changs guy. does you know how to change a tire PF. Changs the PF chen guys left the club or.

oh he left me. so again unless you did a great job. great job man that was your first crowd. work that was very good job thank you. you remember the rules our crowd work. best rules our crowd work okay because. man it'd be as mean as you possibly can. yeah alienate the audience be rude be. stupid and be monotonous make no sense. and don't align anything up with. whatever they're saying okay okay.

where are you going what happened oh he. sprang he sprang he's getting some love. he's getting some disinfectant Andres. thank you so much we appreciate you we. love you stay safe during the pandemic. okay bud we love you man bye dude bye. dude he's awesome. Wow he should never do it you know what. can I say this though yeah he's better. than George yeah what. yeah Georgia stand up you know that. right no he doesn't you know he does. stand up right he doesn't do stand up. yes he does he does he had an open mic.

he did every week for years he's open. for me for me before at the Irvine. improv wait seriously. yeah and and let me say something right. now how much time can he do he did okay. so this is what happened so I go all. right you can do ten minutes. does he really do stand so he goes to. the Irvine improv and killed my friend. Gilbert was there we taped it he bombed. so bad that two minutes in yeah I. started screaming at that was panicking. I was he was that bad you remember any.

of his jokes no he did a joke about a. futon what led that he said he has one. yeah how about my foot I don't even. understand the joke he was just like he. was [ __ ] terrible and he did it for. years and years is he still do stand-up. yeah he does yeah we're just open mics. around town no way yeah I didn't know. that no oh yeah I mean I thought he had. dabbled in comedy before no he does open. mics now that were separate from.

everybody we need to call everybody we. know what our phone yeah Bert George do. you do you do do you do stand-up what. say I hosted for probably a year every. week okay so undress just murdered with. crowd work by the way yeah murdered he. lit the room on fire Bobby said he Bobby. said you're willing you could be willing. to give us one of your best jokes right.

now okay let's hear it religious and you. know when Jesus Christ is your co-pilot. funny thing is you never let them push. me down what What did he say I can't you. broke up do you break up do the joke. again slow it down I couldn't hear you. must have broken down it's a great one.

so I'll do it again okay. you know I grew up awake yes. and when Jesus Christ is your co-pilot. somehow he never let you set the GPS to. [ __ ] town it's okay George George where. what where do you think [ __ ] town is.

between a lady's legs what this is. pretty rather not be live or he's got. doing this live no no no no let me noted. like anyway great good to see you man I.

didn't know he did stand out yeah I. think that's funny because like you know. for some reason everyone around me so I. started tiger belly and all of a sudden. George starts doing it Gilbert does it. yeah yeah because I would have kalila. started when Stan did do it no but I. mean like really got into did 12 times. what yeah. kalila did it 12 she opened for you no. she never did she did open mikes around. town I think the last gig she did was. that flappers did you see that video. they put up.

what about flappers closing down forever. they put up a video online about it. forever I don't know if it's forever but. they put up a video that they're gonna. close up gonna tell you can't stay open. can I say something about that Club sure. you like that Club I've know I've never. done it so the lady calls me the woman. that owns it yeah yeah and you know. she's probably a nice lady but she calls. me and she goes hey yeah just letting. you know I'm opening up a club in. Burbank it's called flappers mm-hmm a. great man I'd love to do it to call um.

my agent says just tell me what weekend. I can do oh no no I'm sorry I you know. I'm having like elevated headliners like. jimmy dore and stuff so you know i was. just calling to see if you could do. maybe a Tuesday or something what yeah. and I go. Oh bye-bye wait she offered you to come. do the club but not to headline. yeah like let then I guess a year later. she calls me back yeah she goes oh I'm.

sorry for that call I just you're at. different place I didn't know what place. you were in now but know that then and. now can you do we can I go no but then. know that you don't call me your job is. to know that if you're a comedy I love. Jimmy Dory he's a great comic yeah yeah. yeah I love him are you saying that you. know he's a headline or two but two you. know that you are I am as well yeah they. should know that you you own a comedy. club to go oh I didn't know what. position you whenever something like. like like a haha cafe on Lankershim. mmm-hmm I would do it more but one day I.

was sitting there and I go can I get a. diet coke or whatever and I was doing. the show and they then they charged me. for the Dyke Hulk shut up yeah and I'm. like oh this is that kind of Club I. can't play here what year was this like. six years ago. they charge you for a diet [ __ ] coke. but about that clubs club that occurs. close down haha sit forever I mean I've. driven by it's boarded up oh really. yeah it's a flappers has gone forever I.

don't know am i close they said am i. close so many businesses are closed you. know that's sad to hear but yeah man. it's a great club for people for people. and no I'm not I don't I was just. reporting what I heard I've never played. the club I don't know I the only time. I've ever even stepped foot in there is. my very first jfl showcase was there oh. really I think so. it said I played it before it's a nice. room yeah no Comedy Store closed. permanently would you be sad are you. [ __ ] kidding me but like what would. you do that I've always thought that. what the [ __ ] would be would we do I.

moved to New York you really would if. all the clubs here closed if it was like. because of the Comedy Store closes the. [ __ ] Improv is gone okay right and if. the Improv and that Comedy Store are. gone and and the factory's not there. either it's like what am I doing here I. don't they would but obviously shows. would pop up hop up it would pop up you. know I wouldn't move to New York I'm. being [ __ ] yeah you bought a house. verbalising yeah but no no but I would. but out but but honestly it's what's. happening right now not being able to go. to the store has been. oh my god I know I [ __ ] hate every the.

night sucks my nights so no I know I. know they're dark day is now dark night. but you know what what makes me get. through it is that we're all going. through it together. ya know yeah and it's like we just has. as a society and let's be real. let's just be real for a while let's be. honest and real Jules stop joking around. stop [ __ ] around all right listen. everyone we're all going through this. we're all like number one I wake up and.

I go what the [ __ ] is going on this is. insane. this is my first Pandi I don't know what. the [ __ ] anyone Andy one man and so. we're all in this together yeah we all. have hardships some more than others and. you know god bless the people that are. helping out in the medical field in the. nurses and the doctors do you know what. I did the other day what you did the. other day can i brag yeah go ahead. no because if you go ahead I'm gonna. brag I'm gonna brag I'm gonna brag a.

little bit whatever to drag a little bit. uh no because Whitney and Josh wolf for. organizing buying ER nurses and doctors. meals yeah I was like I'll buy the meal. so I bought 30 people lunch yeah I'm. doing that I just talked to Whitney this. morning screaming that next week it felt. really good rag2 yeah but you didn't do. it yet yeah we'll see if you do it I you. want to know what I've done I've done. things you don't even nothing capable of. knowing of that done when it when I. submit when it when a Comedy Festival. asks for you to submit people do you. submit them I have to bro.

I've show Kate I've set up showcases for. my agents for people name one comic that. yovan and Eric Griffin I'm the one that. got signed them to see a [ __ ] um. what's his name the black eye from. Trevor Noah. I saw Trevor Noah in South Africa ten. years ago and you said you got to bring. him over here no I cycle when I did a. show with Trevor Noah. I called CAA yeah and Matt Blake and I. go you gotta see this [ __ ] guy and.

one of them that blows I'm not gonna go. to South Africa I thought you know what. Matt Trevor's coming to America. to do a show in Vegas opening for. somebody right. I've sent. Matt over there decide him yeah all. right. so [ __ ] you so Trevor Noah's because of. you Trevor knows because of you. I helped or did it hurt I do want to say. something very important because we did. get real for a hat second you're you.

weren't you I cut you off but yes thank. you to the health workers we are going. through it at different levels. everyone's having a tough time but let's. let's loop something around we never do. this you said something earlier that I. think is very cool I want to take you. take you with you no matter what level. you're at hmm so whether you're in bad. times or good times. it's gonna be exacerbated of who you. really are you take you with you that's. the name of this episode yeah and we and. that's important to remember I'm being. serious yeah and we ever can do we have. to do everything we can I know it's. difficult but to get out of ourselves.

and you help where we can and helping. other people is what I'm trying to I'm. trying to do it more and more online. during this whole thing because this. whole thing sucks it sucks so it's so. much it's so much I'm glad that we're. that we got to the studio so [ __ ] bad. because we don't know what's gonna. happen I think I know as we there's a. lot of questions like no one can tell us. you know they say a month no way. no [ __ ] way what you I think I think.

July will be back up and running. August Wow really yeah Wow I think. August and that's that's when we start. slowly coming out Wow yeah so that. really like scares me a little bit yeah. we're in for a long haul you know I was. talking to Whitney before and it feels. like this is we're entering a new age. yeah you know you know we we you know. people will I think this this will be.

you know mean a real a time like a time. early in the history books yeah a shift. in how people act and how people behave. when it's all over yeah this is gonna be. a definite shift yeah you know they may. they'll call it before coronavirus after. coronavirus you know I mean wow yeah. PCV yeah I usually I do think so because. um here's the thing it's like it's even. even I think it was in Singapore Hong.

Kong where they were they loosened. restrictions and it's come back you know. so even when we do come out in August if. we do come out in August this thing can. rear its ugly head also it could change. right it could become airborne because. it is airborne I know. viruses need to survive am I change it. as something even harsher we don't know. and you know this is also a tale of of. there are other diseases and and viruses.

that can manifest themselves so we have. to now become very very aware of this. this is yeah yeah so arm this is a. different shift you know and we're. witnessing it we're living through it. and that's why we're scared because we. don't know yeah well we got to be safe. right like I want everyone to be be safe. we're doing our best look Bob and I are. wearing gloves and masks we're doing the. podcast limited there's no one in the. room but us and Jules who we keep. quarantined right yep in her little cage. and you feed her you put little little.

peanuts little peanuts through the cave. you know Filipina peanuts yeah Filipina. peanuts yeah okay look at the camera. babe. thank you for being a bad friend. [Music]. you.