Ying, Yang, Yong | Ep 175 | Bad Friends

hey everybody hey we're on tour in the. fall in the fall we're gonna be in. Rochester New York yeah baby then we're. coming to Northfield which is Cleveland. Ohio Homestead peninsulas Homestead. Pennsylvania we're doing two shows. that's basically Pittsburgh the first. one sold out come to The Late Show then. where do we go Boston Mass and we are in. Boston Massachusetts D.C Washington DC. Denver Denver Colorado. Milwaukee Wisconsin then Chicago my. hometown Minnesota Minneapolis Minnesota. the Twin Cities and we end it all in.

Madison Wisconsin. we're adding dates as we go. badfriendsbad.com. who are these two idiots. [Music]. or something we're bad friends yeah it's. funny I'm not I'm like I've always been. I've never looked at a cop in the ice. you can't when they pull me over I'm. always you know what you do is you look. at their ear what yeah I always look at.

their right ear look at me I'm looking. at your ear right now so you're the cop. yeah right so this is what I do go ahead. you know why I pulled you over. no. whoa see I gotta tell you I don't know. if it's your eyes but it's work I can't. tell what you're looking at exactly this. is amazing it's amazing maybe it's your. eyes let me do it to you let me see yeah. I don't know. what do they say cops say stuff like. okay yeah um.

do you know why I pulled you over. um. I've never seen a little Korean cop. before I'm out of here oh wow gone you'd. be gone yeah I'm gone in a heartbeat. you're not getting me I've been pulled. over by mostly Asian cops in Southern. California we got a lot a lot look up. look at look it up I think actually the. majority of cops in Southern California. are Mexican I think it's like 54 Latino. well it says the majority of California.

is Mexican well no [ __ ] fancy. and you whenever an Asian couples move. her I'm I mock them look it's like. they're chasing you Asians only Asians. only make up 10 of police officers so. when they go you know why I pulled you. over I go do you know. I always do that and I always get a. ticket. he goes dude he stutters dude. you know why I pulled you over yeah give. me the ticket yeah and in the back I'm. in the back seat I come in I go.

21 okay 61 of federal law enforcement. officers were white you got to do. California you got to do California what. percentage of cops are Mexican in. California I guarantee you the whites. are the scariest cops no no no no oh. yeah dude oh yeah for me growing up. whites were always the scariest cops. because what you were in San Diego in. Poway there's a [ __ ] saying what is. it I don't know it. I know there is but generally what the.

saying is is that they pull you over. more than off more often than not. is that the same you know those white. cops they're gonna they pull you all up. well often a lot although I haven't been. pulled over in LA in 12 years what I've. not been pulled over in 12 years. what is last time you got pulled over. it was a couple years ago in Arkansas. here in in L.A I said never you've never. been pulled over in L.A.

listen to me don't know either yeah. what's going on with you I don't know. because since I've been here you've been. acting aloof and I feel like another. Doc's happening wait a minute oh do you. have beef with him yeah is there a dog. beef going on because it's like I need. to know he knows what he's doing oh what. do I know what I'm doing I have a theory. what's a theory I think over the tour. Bobby and I became very close and I.

think I don't I you know I'm longer than. me but I think he's scared of how close. we got and I think now he's actively. trying to push me away. and you do that do you think you do that. do you think you push people away they. get too close. is that a pattern with it I think I do. yeah yeah is that the comedy we've gone. through huge waves of being close not. talking being close yeah well it's. happening to me now and I hate it what.

can I say this welcome to the club kid. when I'm coming to the club who am I. with. sometimes no one and is that am I the. rudest then. you lately I feel like I'm more rude. when I'm with somebody. that's I will say that but okay you're. always rude lately. in what way though. you make it like uh don't look at me oh. no like like you don't want me looking. at you and do I say to you don't look at. me sometimes I do yeah yeah.

I'll walk up to you and go hey man just. for the tonight don't look at me or you. look really fake and you smile really. vague no that's real and you go you. don't have to [ __ ] tell people. telling me that my [ __ ] Smiles are. [ __ ] fabricated and not real let's go. through yeah this is the smile I give. her. that's real. that looks pretty real to me yeah look I. won the lottery. oh he won yeah I won you were also.

holding a knife up to my neck I would. never do that all right say hi to me and. I'll say hi in with a smile tell me if. this is fake or real. hey Andrew hey. was that real that's real for me that's. just about as real as yeah yeah when I. see you that's what I do then I. apologize I'm misreading the situation. and uh you know what you're right I. should I should check my behavior I've. been at the club twice about the Improv. and the story and I see you either in. the corner of my eye or on the lineup. and I just don't say hi to you anymore. whoa you this is weird I didn't know.

this was going on I was out and about I. haven't I haven't been around in a while. so I don't know what's going I didn't. know that there was a little bit of his. undercurrents. are you Danny Zuko in her yeah oh [ __ ]. you mean from the movie The Grace Psalm. 11. that's my favorite lyric yeah yeah. having some buns having some fun dude. bon bons look Danny zuke by the way yeah. what a babe that's what you're doing. you're Zuko in here yeah yeah well I. mean because we're no longer in the. summer we had a great no we're back at.

school and we're back at school Danny. Zuko is you know you realize we're in. the middle of summer right now yeah but. when I say summer I mean the tour okay. the tour was summer like like in Greece. and now we're inside and now we're in. school and we're back in classical going. to The Comedy Store it's like a school. yeah right. and so I'm too cool for school for you. yeah so funny this feels like Mean Girls. where you're like you're like talking. [ __ ] about her at right after you hang. out because I don't want a cone to. happen yeah but I'm getting rest in.

peace by the way Macon he died he sure. did. [Laughter]. so I apologize and I'm going to be more. mindful about how I treat you wow and I. will you know those fake Smiles I'm. gonna keep doing them because that's how. I feel you don't have to fake smile to. me. okay in fact I love you so much if it is. a status thing for you for me to. socialize with you amongst your friends. I'll hide in the corner I think he's.

just being Ultra sensitive. yeah I'm being an appropriate I think. she think it's appropriate reaction yeah. what do you think we are I think we're. friends. what do you think it is I don't think. it's friends are you talking about. YouTube no just in general Jewel Jesse. well I guess that says it all yeah yeah. surrogate I think Jesse is um. a viewer like a daughter I thought. you're gonna say a dog a dog daughter. kind of like a dog yeah a dog daughter.

right also you're an employee that's it. you're an employee yeah right so I'm. Connor your boss no you're literally her. boss I'm literally her boss so it's like. how do you treat your employees how do. you treat your your your employee who's. also like your daughter. like [ __ ] oh [ __ ] dude wait wait wait. wait stop family business you think I. treat you like [ __ ] you think I treat. you like [ __ ] no I wasn't talking about. her okay good good it's so funny to have. you yell at him in a clip going you. think I treat you like [ __ ].

you don't you don't treat her like [ __ ]. either no no you don't there's nobody. gets treated like [ __ ] in here except. for when Carlos yeah yeah because he's a. [ __ ] human well I know he's a good guy. but Jess can I say this yeah yeah. if you came up to me. in life. and whatever you needed I would provide. for you even like a hello no not that no. but if you're like you mean something. real my toes fell off. why are your toes falling off where are.

you I'm just trying to create some sort. of like physical thing that could I get. it but I like it no but like you know. you got black towels. careful I don't know what I'm saying is. is that careful I'm not like James. Baldwin black toes you know I mean his. black feet like black face if you put on. black is that bad I can dance now. yeah when white people go to Antarctica. and they're if and they get black feet. from the [ __ ] you don't mean snow. Yeah they should get canceled those. aren't your toes man that's [ __ ].

black though if you have black hands. look up look up frostbite hands yeah. yeah when they have that and they come. back we should publicly cancel that yeah. yeah it's insane wow it's insane that. this happens by the way I know that. you're out there long enough to lose. your fingers I know why would you ever. do that well maybe you're stranded. that's look at how many times it's on. the internet these people aren't all. stranded so why do people do get why do. they get black toes though in anyway if. you were in The Comedy Store what why do. you get black toes from frostbite yeah. what is it what's that about it's dead.

it died you're like the nurse like. there's no blood circulating and then do. you have to chop them off or does it. fall off automatically I mean if they're. they're usually not fixable when it's at. that degree they just they have to cut. them off it's a gangrene. I guess yeah that's this yeah it's got. to go hey yeah that's what they say they. walk in they go Gotta Go is it green. gangrene or is it just an arbitrary it's. like a it's like a shade of green. because if it's purple we're making no. sense purple green yeah no like game. purple go ahead did you watch it did you.

watch Indy new Indiana Jones are you not. going to go see it I've never I honestly. can I say something you've never seen. the original I've never seen any Indiana. Jones not what in my life I know what it. is he's a professor or something right. wait a minute oh I've never seen Raiders. the Lost Stars I don't know why but as a. kid I thought it was more of a um. historical kind of movie of all people. like [ __ ] I don't believe it I've. never seen Indiana Jones I know what it. is he's real I know what it is he's real.

ask me questions I know what it is. there's a boulder because it's in pop. culture like you and it's like you know. he knows a Harry Potter I know Boulders. I know that he has a whip from the. posters what does he do that with. slaves. there's really I know it's not about. slaves he owns slaves that's what the. whip is for an Indiana Jones whoa yeah. that's why Indiana the Midwest. South Indiana no I stopped because I. know that Short Round is a character. right which is like the guy that was in.

uh yeah right um and he's in that new. movie my point is is that no he owns. slaves and I still think I saw a clip of. them. I don't know well tell me about is it. good though it's [ __ ] amazing how. many of there's like 20 movies though. right or so there's like 20 of them. there's like five four or five yeah um. can I watch this one and not watch the. other ones yes I'm sure they're not. watch it I'm sure many people they've. done this because this is so long ago. now I'm sure they making it where you.

can see anything but Sean Connery is in. in the other one he's in the third one. he plays his father. are you [ __ ] kidding me. he does not believe him but yes he does. what do you think the Temple of Doom is. about. holy [ __ ] that's a movie what do you. think it's about. well I mean just based on the word right. there's a temple no that's what people. would think really no Temple it's this. Temple oh the body's a temple it's your. brain right and inside your body is bad. things going on Doom yeah Doom and Gloom.

dude right right so it's a guy oh Temple. of Dune is the enemy in the movie and in. the enemy is who. oh so Indiana Jones is the Temple of. Dune. Dune is a different movie it is yeah. yeah no I don't do it I like to I like. anything sci-fi my point is that so the. Temple of Dune is really a reflection of. Indiana Jones own body so it's happening. within himself it's a very introspective. film whoa there's no Adventure I thought.

it was Adventure no low action high high. introspective weird visuals there's like. a 10 minute scenery whips himself but. no way does it sound like it's a hit it. doesn't sound like a real thing first of. all yeah he's hitting himself he's being. forced to do this like from outside. voices he's hearing voices he's. schizophrenic he's short round his son. because I just seen is he how many. movies is he in Short Round is literally. in the first two seconds in the film. he's the cab driver.

each movie starts with him not coming in. off a Plane off a military plane and. short round picks him up from the thing. every movie picks him up yes. really yes great to see you Indy Indy. Indy and then he drops him off but he. knows who he is because he's famous he's. a famous slave owner Indiana Jones. oh he had Asians too yes when he was the. best wait what slaves do you think he. had the black guy ones no Asians it was. all Asian slaves there's Asian slaves in.

Indiana back in the day where do you. think you guys got your start here in. the United States of the railroads where. do you think that went to oh yeah so. which one did I start with. the first one I think mix it up I think. go to see this one right now I feel like. it's too late you know because I haven't. seen Back to the Future either. okay. it's too late now this we can't play out. on the [ __ ] Show No One's Gonna. believe it I really haven't seen back in. the future that you have how do you know.

because because it's impossible. no it is impossible it's not impossible. it is impossible to not have seen Back. to the Future it's almost like one of. those things it was like it chipped in. our brain somehow yeah it's almost as. impossible that's not seeing Indiana. Jones. really hey yeah you're close to getting. fired you're getting fired yeah yeah. yeah so um but I want to see the dial. Destiny I do want to see it oh you. haven't seen it yet no why'd you bring. it up I saw it because I was asking if. you've seen it no wait you said it was.

amazing earlier no Indiana Jones was. amazing style of Destiny that's the new. one oh I'd say I really want to see it. but I'm also hesitant because I like the. original so much. that I'm like is this gonna be yucky it. is see he I know that's why I'm it was. bad wasn't it let me connect the magic. is gone the magic is I have a trivia. question damn it who is the uh you. probably already know this I'm going to. ask you know you've seen the Indiana. Jones who is the original person they. wanted but he couldn't do it because he. was on another TV show do you know I do. know yeah yeah oh.

um I yeah it was um Will Smith yep. you haven't seen it so how do you know. if I'm wrong no she's right because he. was shooting wild wild west when he got. asked no that was way too younger I'm. not done buddy yeah Wild Wild West came. out the exact same time. yeah imagine he'd be just as good Tom. Selleck's the [ __ ] man yeah but it. took me still baseball that was one of. my favorite movies of all time Mr. Baseball Misa baseball what is it he's.

like a hot shot look up Mr Baseball so. you can see what it is look at me he's a. hot shot MLB player who done is on the. end end of his ropes of his career and. he sent he goes to play baseball in. Japan falls in love with the base. commissioner baseball's daughter almost. like a baseball oh it's an Asian movie. yeah he plays okay he wanted nobby's in. it yes dude it's such a good movie Mr. Baseball I love it you guys have never. heard of this nobody Getty won a Nabi. was in a movie called long uh 16 Candles. he played Long duk Dong that's right.

there's another movie called gung-ho and. so when I was on Magnum once I asked um. can we get getting one not be for this. one part and they got him so I got to. work with them whoa and I sat with um. getting one Nabi for a week and I had. peppermint with a question but it was. really interesting I go you know because. you know Long duk Dong that character. you know it's kind of had there's a. backlash on that character because. Asians are like well that was so. stereotypical this and that and then. some actors even say like why would he. do listen he's an actor every Asian.

actor right in America. vibe to get that part because it was the. only one available sure right yeah I. would have been what's happening. I would have been like. right. yeah I would [ __ ] the executive you know. just to get that part what the [ __ ] you. know so you know I look again I go get. it you know I get it you get it and.

congratulations for doing that role and. you killed it he did he took what was. given and he [ __ ] killed it he did. kill it yeah anyway would Japan should. do a movie about sending shohei Otani. here no like a Sumo wrestle going to. like Louisiana. with fat white people oh that would be. insanely that'd be great yeah I mean Mr. sumo. well look at this here Sumo dude that's. what they should do to get revenge just.

send a sumo wrestler to Louisiana yeah. come on down come on down yeah and they. could have like you know some fun times. but the sumo guy then he would slowly. transition into being like a southern. boy because he started falls in love. with Japan really yeah he falls in love. with Japan he falls in love with a woman. a sumo guy a white girl would go out. with him or not would that believable. it'd be so funny that'd be so funny well. could I be him yeah no you'd have to. gain like 500 I'll do it for the [ __ ]. movie well then let's do it I want to. punch you if it's a good if it's a 24. movie I would do it what would you.

willing to do anything say it okay so I. would do a24 yes hey man hey and you. know we don't we you know we're an. organic company oh that I know yeah and. that's method yeah yeah and um you know. we're doing a movie about one eye man. about one eye man yeah one eye man oh. wow it's based on one punch man but this. yeah it's one punch man is a very funny. yeah a great animation movie right yeah. there's a one eye man he has one eye. cool the white guy but he lives in.

post-apocalyptic Japan whoa what you. have to lose an eye. you don't think we could CGI. organic right we're natural let me just. pitch this yeah we put an eye patch over. the eye that you want gone and we CGI. no I okay let me think about it yeah. yeah yeah no no okay all right. would you lose an eye it depends on how. much money it is. 2 million no 10. if it's like 25 million.

I would lose an eye okay that's weird. because I just when I said 10 to you I. thought you'd say yes because I said yes. to 10 in my mind I'd lose an eye for 10. 10 million come on. 25. because you're not gonna what. because after you hear that a24 I'll do. it for Less. auditions does it have to have to 24. yeah it has to be a 24. but wait a. minute well you're the audition now. you're the guy with one eye that's what. I'm saying every audition you're like. I'm not gonna get this no that's a good.

thing what diversity. Korean guy yeah oh they're out of here. Jordan y'all you know I I never go out. anymore I only get delivery yeah and I. go to doordash because it's the best. guys they have the best options they're. precise the the drivers are the best. it's the best and by the way back to. school shopping is coming and all the. cast that comes along with it with. doordash you can be first day ready with. Pantry Staples and classroom supplies to. make a good first impression without all.

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terms apply bespoke post you know what. my favorite thing in the whole world is. bespoke box of awesome look at Fancy's. bringing me one right now I just got. another one in the mail not too long ago. the box of awesome is incredible people. that don't know what it is it is a. beautiful box filled with goodies. knickknacks Essentials uh fun things. whether it's gifts for yourself for. others if there's so much in here it's. so easy to get started take the quiz at. boxer awesome.com your answers will help. them pick the right box of awesome for.

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code bad friends. right get me the one-eyed Korean guy. that's what they say and I could do like. if they do a Korean Cyclops movie. who else I could just do this you're a. Marvel Superhero they can move a tear. you go from a24 cool Indie right to. superhero Marvel movies yeah overnight. overnight yep right but can they move. the eye to here. yeah I think we'll have to right thank. you overnight you become a star that'd. be great I saw a clip the other day that. said Edward Norton said that he's never. made a dime doing Wes Anderson movies.

never once what are you talking you can. Google it he said I think he's from. Moonrise Kingdom he made forty two. hundred dollars total because if you. know if you look at the asteroid City. you look at their past yeah I know every. single one of their casts is a gigantic. star who usually gets Millions for a. part right and I and you look at Wes. Anderson movies what it does in the box. office I love I've seen all of them but. they're not like you know what I mean. they don't they're not they're not. they're not much yeah they're not. smashes so I I 100 agree but that's.

crazy the 4200 for a whole or a whole. film for a guy like that that's like a. Woody Allen movies in the past and all. that yeah yeah now would be a lot. cheaper to do Woody Allen I bet you he'd. have to pay a lot of money. what he calls Bobby do you want would. you like to be in one of my films if I. can play soon Yi. only about two years. I don't feel that way about it yeah it. is an interesting interesting question.

it's like I'm asking you as an actor. right too you know um and you too is um. would you prefer to do a you know a. critically acclaimed movie that's gonna. get Awards but you're only gonna make a. couple of thousand dollars or some. trashy Blockbuster thing where you make. 5 million 10 million and it doesn't get. any awards or Prestige see it's hard for. that's hard for me because I don't care. about the awards and the prestige I just. care that it's good I wanted I wish it.

could be good yeah but if you're telling. me on the table is a [ __ ] Marvel. franchise that everyone's gonna laugh at. me for the rest of my [ __ ] life are. they well let's. no I don't think they will no I'm saying. in this scenario let's just say it's a. Marvel franchise and I'm not taking a. shot it's okay but like Ant-Man is kind. of a bummer for Paul Rudd is such a. [ __ ] cool dude and not that ant-man's. bad wasn't bad the last one was bad yeah. but I mean the franchising and of itself. is kind of like yeah.

yeah ah yeah yeah no one's making fun of. [ __ ] Paulo because he's the [ __ ] he's. the [ __ ] okay but I'm saying but doing. like Ant-Man versus doing like. everything everywhere all at once for. like no money at all literally like. [ __ ] not making any money yeah. I I probably [ __ ] do Ant-Man really. here's why here's why I'll tell you why. I know why because a lot of a lot of. those actors that you read about that do. those beautiful Indie movies they're. [ __ ] they they're broke and they. don't get any more work and people are.

like wait didn't you make didn't you and. they're like no after I got off that. movie nobody gave me any [ __ ] money. the point of what's going on in our. [ __ ] car in our business right now is. because nobody's getting paid anymore. yeah and the [ __ ] big cats up top are. keeping all the money so yeah I'm gonna. steal the [ __ ] money from these. scumbags oh they're robbing us our whole. career also I just did four independent. comedy movies right you made 30 bucks. not just the 30 bucks yeah when you're. shooting you can feel it yeah there's 15. guys in a little room no air.

conditioning right and you have [ __ ]. corn nuts as that's the only thing you. get for your craft service right make no. money you're there forever all day two. years ago I did Borderlands with all. those Stars right I'm at the Four. Seasons eating nice food the catering is. amazing I mean everything's amazing you. feel right like oh my God you know I. mean I'm a part of it even if you're. underpaid for that movie for Borderlands. it's still all the perks are nice okay. so I'm 50 50 because I agree sometimes. like I did curb you don't make any money. on curb it was a dream of mine so it's.

like there's things that you want to do. that are a dream but I don't want to. make a big career move for a dream. because they're who knows if it'll pay. off but that's why actors do both yeah. if you're lucky if you're lucky that's. my point most people aren't lucky enough. Tom Hanks can dip down and go I'll do. asteroid City no he's one of the only. ones yeah he can do that when he's. already like at the top it's like when. we've talked about this but like it's. like when Jim and Carrie is like you. know everything is fake and money means. nothing and life is fake and you're like.

yeah because. you don't you haven't been to the. grocery store in 20 years. go to go to I went to the hardware store. today yeah when you don't have to do. those things you lose reality fast yeah. when you I was on my roof today blowing. off the [ __ ] [ __ ] from my roof so I. didn't ruin the the roof because it. stains from the tree I was. up there in my neighbor was smoking pot. and I'm that's me yeah Jim Carrey's not. on his roof blowing [ __ ] off I was at.

the coffee being earlier right I was. sitting there waiting for my Vietnamese. iced coffee and a guy came up to me and. he goes wait no Entourage I go who the. [ __ ] do you think I am. yeah by the way yeah can we start. bringing entourages somewhere yeah I. will but like people that don't look. like they should be our Entourage no I. wanna bring I know exactly who my crew. is you have Carlos no I'm going to use. Dan Ramos yeah I don't know who that is. yeah yeah yeah Dan Ramos is a Dan Ramos. yeah he looks like a Filipino insect.

get Ramos comedy. this dude is has looks like he hasn't. taken a shower. oh I know that guy yeah that guy I've. seen him before the the second phone. order to the left or left the second. photo to all far left far left far left. down second row there you go down no no. not that one the one right next to that. one the obvious one that we want to see. that's great that's who he is I gotta. have him in my Entourage oh yeah who. else do you need because people walk.

away you say a Filipino insect yeah. interesting why no it's accurate I don't. even know what they look like but I. imagine it looks like that yeah yeah I. love the Filipinos some yeah all so. except for him yeah yeah I love him but. I'm just saying. Who Would I bring along for the ride. well I I'm pretty sure there's a couple. of shirt talkers. shirt talkers okay what's that mean he. means white people shirt cockers shirt. Tuckers and I didn't mean that white.

people yeah he does he's always. derogatory toward the white community no. I'm not. sure Tucker let me tell you something. Brothers we can't let this guy keep. talking to us like this I'm not saying. that next thing you know he's going to. want to cut off our kids penises so let. me tell you something my brothers your. friends I've seen some of them have golf. shirts on and they tuck it into their. khaki pants never in a million years you. couldn't even name one unless we were. golfing yeah when have you ever seen me. golfing you've never seen me go I've. seen you go in and out like from either.

you see me go to the golf course exactly. yeah in the attire and then after the. attire sure but no friends you've never. if you've seen your friends I promise. you I have where your your cousin my. cousin yeah yeah he sometimes wears that. kind of clothes when we're golfing yeah. I've never seen he's been to three of. our shows on so I've never seen a shirt. tucked in but never because he needed to. make it psyche though no it's not real. you're making it up when we're golfing. you tuck your shirt yeah yeah when. you're a golf I don't like it I know I. get that you don't like order this guy.

never touched his shirt in no he doesn't. have a shirt he shouldn't be wearing a. shirt in my Entourage would probably be. um. I keep looking at that picture of you as. an Indian AI that guy. honestly that guy I want Indian little. people uh Indian little only Indian. Little People in my own oh you have seen. wise yes a nobleman a nobleman passing. through it would gracefully slowly right. and they're all they for some reason. have candles of course they have two. candles yeah but one of them only one of.

them's lit oh one of them why some. people question yep why why is only like. a yin yang thing I love that you liking. Yang yeah yeah are you more yingle yeah. I'm young. yeah I'm more young too yeah yeah yeah. more layouts yeah we're outside the hall. yeah by the way have you guys seen. Indian slap uh slap boxing no oh my god. really I've seen the slap being no no no. no no no Indian slap boxing is all over. the internet again. look at this this is amazing go to the.

first one look at this [ __ ] this is so. [ __ ] wonderful this makes me want to. go to him look at these look at these so. what's happened is they're they're. politely they're politely battling. slap slap slap oh it's great so if you. make a fist they're out you can't punch. it's slapping. hmm and it's in the sand look at a. beautiful sand and there's one guy just. chilling in the ring. who's meditating yeah he's thinking. about all the pain that they're enduring. he's trying to wish their pain away.

oh you can throw I almost posted today. and was like this me and Bobby on tour. yeah. yeah you can toss you can toss but the. slapping is fine you just can't punch. okay genius that guy won for sure yeah I. mean beautiful I would love to see a. woman is a good females fight that's. just how women always fight that's right. oh that's right have you guys ever. actually slapped somebody no punch just. only punch slap yeah slaps that's weird.

asses no no she needs like out of. aggression yeah aggressive. trust me it's aggressive I I lick my. palm and everything. do it right now what let me see yeah. yeah oh yeah oh no do it again it's. actually like this. come on Bobby. yeah baby yeah that's what I like come. on yeah I want to learn how to fight. little get up let's do it well Bobby.

taught me some moves on the road some. defense moves yeah just get a gun yeah. that would be easy let's just get you a. guy can we get her a gun but I'd rather. learn something because what if I forget. my gun or it's not loaded or not that. thing on you baby you want to learn how. to fight let's do it you want to take. Krav Maga what's the best one to take. Krav Maga I mean that's the Israeli. defense uh the Israeli defense [ __ ]. let's let's rank them jiu jitsues either. you got Jew Jitsu or Krav Maga I know. it's a little shaky yeah in terms of.

like. um what really works in real time real. life yeah you can look at the MMA and go. okay so it's like you never see some guy. that's like he's a black Belkin. Taekwondo Taekwondo isn't probably not. gonna do it right you never see Tai Chi. Tai Chi is moving energy I know but it's. still a martial art it is oh yeah and. it's for fighting right or not yeah yeah. yeah right. but I think Jiu Jitsu is probably the. number one. yeah Jujitsu that's a practical karate.

that's a crazy one to start with though. right it's so popular right now but. you're like so up and kung fu. do you mean karate. Kung Fu Bruce Lee. never heard of it Kung Fu what is that. is that a dish Kung Fu Bistro yeah I've. been in conference yeah that's delicious. so Taekwondo Kung Fu Judo yeah judos. fine good what's the difference between. them though well Mai Tai is a lot of. Kicking and you know what I like the the. Muay Thai.

kickboxing when you grab the back of the. neck and you might tie the knee the face. of the knee yeah the Anderson Silva did. that a lot yeah he would grab the Hat. yeah grab the head kundu from China whoa. that's just a guy that's yeah you just. talked to him for a while yeah that. sounds nice yeah it's just a. conversation what else is with swords. good yeah isn't that with a samurais. yeah look at Japan's [ __ ] dominating. by the way non-aggressive oh keto's not. aggressive never mind bro I've been. watching.

Ken Burns World War II documentary and. the Japanese brutal they will cray-cray. I know they were not everyone. invading China. they went to China that's why I like. them though yeah balls on those guys. right but it's like they went to the. Philippines they went everywhere and. they did so many crazy things there's a. lot of bad ships and scraping people and. cutting pretty gross it's gross and then. we got them back did we go.

all right bye bye bye bye yeah no it was. really what's so funny is that bad no it. is true it is true yeah it's it's you. know and they were nuts in a good way. though they were fun Imagine crashing a. plane with you inside of it the balls. the [ __ ] balls to be like you gotta. stay in it they're like no jump out. they're like. you stay in it oh yeah okay inside it. I'm literally inside or just.

metaphorically inside no no your spirit. and your body are inside oh so my body. yeah you're in it no no yeah no no okay. take this what is this just take it okay. go ahead. take it. how about now yes. you know they were jacked up on uh on on. methamphetamine you know that right oh. they were you don't know about this you. never heard this same thing with the. Nazis exact same [ __ ] death huh yeah. they were on [ __ ] methane that's. amazing so they would get them jacked up. out of their [ __ ] mind kamikaze.

pilots and then they would just they'd. be like we gotta do it yeah. I would say I would do it but you know. what I would do if I could tuck it. behind your ear and use it for later no. well not no in terms of like the Bonsai. thing the Kamikaze [ __ ] I mean yeah. right I would at jacked you would shoot. out right before I hit I would they. would see just a random Japanese guys. waiting in the water but they'd also see. your parachute and be like what did you. pack a shoot. no I lost weight I lost weight in the.

ocean this is my swimsuit okay yeah okay. but could I say another thing huh is. that in this documentary so there were. some islands that had Japanese. civilians living their towns and stuff. right and once the Americans or the. Allies took over the island the Japanese. um citizens they just jumped off the. cliff because they're the emperor. hiryito said you can't surrender so you. have to kill yourself no surrender. nowhere so people just jumped off cliffs. so they they would find like civilians.

just in the water with babies and like. that's how crazy they were they were so. indoctrinated into you know I mean this. dude nationalism nationalism they. believed well they believed yeah you. know yeah sometimes you got to believe. Viator I'm telling you right now I'm. going to Hawaii and I'm gonna use Viator. is over 300 000 bookable travel. experiences in over 190 countries you do. it right I love it everything they offer. everything from simple tours to Extreme. Adventures that's the thing did I go in. a little volcano hike yes I did thanks.

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use code bad friends manscape the. perfect way to get your patties sizzling. hot this summer. look like watch this play a cricket who. lives in Alabama. wait. a second you'd have to tell us what you. are just oh [ __ ] yeah just read the. lines all right just read the lines you. know it's a dinner date. yeah my name is Bob Hoskins.

is it what is that a real person it says. Bob Hodgkins lymphoma he has cancer. is that the cricket noise yeah yeah yeah. cricket. my name is Bob and I I'm. hey you know what. I think it's safe to date this girl I'm. not good right give me another shot give. me something else uh you you go ahead. juice you got one what character can you. play okay you are a dragon.

and you just relax you don't even know. the [ __ ] scene no but I gotta get. into Dragon mode you just woke up uh. from 300 years of Slumber. that part he'll kill. I'm kind of giving him a softball here. yeah. who just woke up for 300 years of sleep. and you're at the championship game and. you're at the plate yeah and the and the. catcher is talking [ __ ] or wait what's.

that wake up. where's my bat. where's my bag hey man just step up and. hit the ball. that's it that's really good thank you. well you do one then. [ __ ] make a character I'll do it. right now all right. high energy. easy right high energy almost meth like. right. speedy speedy sloth.

a sloth yeah yeah yeah yeah. yeah there's lines excuse me. yeah yeah. there's lines sir. read the lines. [Laughter]. doing me a favor. very good yeah that's good right yep a.

little slower probably the language. dialogue but okay yeah yeah thank you so. much do it again. yeah you got it you got it I've been. watching a lot of that [ __ ] not. planet Earth but it's like the our. planet too and basically I've seen our. planets our planet the second one oh. yeah and this and this one's got a lot. more killing you know the other one kind. of they look away when the kill is about. to happen not this one did yeah they.

showed little baby sea turtles trying to. get to the water oh dude dude it's. awesome just a [ __ ] bird just coming. down just smoking it dude and one guy. got flipped over by a bird and a little. turtle couldn't get back over and a crab. just came. and went away it was so dope there was a. one I saw where there was like iguanas. in Mid Island of their babies yes and. the snakes yes are just chilling like. look at these idiots right and they. would just get them and I'm like you. know I mean how about do it closer to.

the [ __ ] water [ __ ]. show me how they get them show me I like. when you animate it look at the snake. children you know there he is. again another year. stupid idiots yes so check this out look. at the one right there the little uh the. one with the uh the juicy one well I was. gonna say it's something else what I. think it was born okay no no say it I. know you don't want to get canceled no. look at that little one with the I think. it's missing of little hand.

and it's fine it's twisty oh no yeah. look at that one well. wrap you up and take you down baby I. feel bad for the Iguana but happy for. the snakes I know hold on a second.

he had to get his Vape off the charger. dude you that's so funny you made it out. to be like you forgot you had to do. something important yeah right like [ __ ]. I had to call my mom no it just it. turned green I was like oh it's my time. my time I thought we're gonna put away. Vapes I know I just Carlos's fault. there's no way those things it's not. good those things it's not good you know. what can I be honest with you my right. arm is tingly. all the time it tingles and the other. night dude something [ __ ] happened I.

literally thought I was having a stroke. so at 4 30 in the morning I had a pinch. in my back where I went oh I would like. verbally sit out and I had to stand up. and I had to bang my back against the. wall to where it was hurting but it was. so excruciatingly hurtful and painful. The Elms went to the hospital with the. pinch in your back where how high. mid back in the middle of my back maybe. off to the right a little bit it [ __ ].

hurt like you're right it sounds like. you might be talking about your heart. you're left. okay never mind yeah making sure the. back hard part. the back Heart part yeah yeah is the. back hard part important it's the whole. your whole back is your back hard part. yeah but it's an important very it's. probably the most important they say. that's why they tell you to sleep on. your side not on your back yeah I. slammed it and then eventually I did. some breathing exercises and it went. away what were they. and I held my breath in and I calmed my.

nerves and it just slowly went away. really yeah I also did downward dog. yeah I love downward dog I did downward. dog you know I did some yoga stuff that. I've learned you know downward syndrome. dog yours yeah yeah yeah. I was doing downward syndrome drug talk. and I and it eventually you know. and doing those positions you know. eventually I had my own Olympics yeah. you know what I saw when you when you. said to me it reminded me when you said. about him not being able to look you and. you not being able to look him in the.

eye I saw the image of you like looking. down when he looks at you and it made me. really sad really yeah because I want to. just bring this back to the beginning I. love you so much I love you too that's. all I wanted we moved past it no. honestly but then you brought it back I. love you so much and I talk about you. all the time to people and I always go. like who's like creep staring at me over. there no I always say like who do you. think is the next thing up I think she. is well you deserve you you deserve the. continuation you call you texted me the. other day about bad news but it ended up.

being really goodness because what was. the bad news I didn't get jfo and but it. but it. yeah I know I love you so much what what. um she didn't get that's insane well I. was thought about it for a few hours but. I got over it because what happened was. I know trust me no no no you no don't. get over it it's a war it's a war well.

it's so no no no it's a dis on us it's a. dis they think that agents about the. power by getting they do for it I met I. actually brought the power back into to. what I want to do and what I want to. create I started bringing the trumpet. back into my act and really just like. feeling Fearless of what I'm doing. because I'm tired of like auditioning. for a while yeah I'm tired of like. showing off for these people I want to. like me it's like maybe it's just not. the time you know but I don't know it is. the time.

but I have so many people supporting me. now from Bad friends from you guys like. going on the road stop being positive. but here let's go negative. let's stay in the dark place for a. second okay there is a dark sliver to. this where I'm like I'm done doing this. stuff right I'm gonna focus on the. support I have. but I'm so sorry to hear that but I did. find out after the fact that there. already are agents scouting me hell yeah. oh yeah they are yeah I've been asked.

from my people about you they're out. there baby they're out there things are. happening you're on the map I'm. headlining I I'm going I'm doing my own. thing while we're at but on break from. the tools. yeah can I tell you no say it right now. she's in Irvine Irvine next Wednesday. that oh well I should say oh this is. already out but I can plug the two uh. I'm doing the Wise Guys one that you. took me to yeah Keith it has is having. me back doing one night at Salt Lake. City and two nights in Vegas the 27th in. uh Salt Lake City and the 28th and 29th. in Vegas where wait of this month of.

July of July July so Salt Lake City go. see her and Vegas go see her Wise Guys I. went there with Polly and I went to Salt. Lake City with you and that's where I. met Keith as a feature and now I'm. coming back to Headlands awesome amazing. that's that's the kind of [ __ ] that I. love to hear see that's the positive. spin I like and I just want to be the. Best comedian I can be that's all I'm. looking at there it seems like they're. going after people who've already made a. following and no they're not really a. new they're kicking boxes. ticking boxes yes ticking bombs are you.

saying boxes checking check your. checking boxes. [Laughter]. you're right they're checking boxes. they're just no they're going oh we. there we have this I we have the you. know the Puerto Rican blind guy how is. that guy he's crying I've heard he does. really well you can't make it to the. stage half the time yeah he keeps. falling yeah yeah he does stand up. sometimes from the side of the room. and sometimes he doesn't show up to the. venue because he has to like a lot of. times I see he hits his eyes and goes is.

this thing on right which is a funny. joke it's a funny bit yeah yeah yeah. it's a funny bit that's a good one and. then um you know the nine foot three. Nigerian female who happens to be you. know I mean oh yeah like the girl from. the girl from the WNBA yeah is she a. stand-up she's awesome I look up to her. somebody yeah so she you know I mean. they have you know they check boxes like. do we have and you're who else are they. checking yeah just tell me some of the. other people that they're checking yeah. the Irish black guy who also has to be a. dwarf but he also has bilingualishes. bilingual issues yeah he's talking about.

laquan Murphy yes laquan Murphy is. really good he mixes the two language. like he sometimes will one word to be. Korean right the next word would be. [ __ ] you know I mean they said Irish. black guy that's what's crazy but he. speaks Korean and Portuguese which is. what's crazy about it what a hook what. what a hook I actually kind of guess I'm. always on board for our games yeah I. don't think I can do that what I was. gonna try to do Portuguese. out of all the things I think you've.

stopped me I know I'm giving you a. challenge it's so hard will you try. Korean Korean Black Irish Portuguese guy. yeah no but the language is one word is. in Korean the other one's in Portuguese. give it a go. [Laughter]. [Applause]. say it again I don't even quite. understand it so he's. um a black Irishman right who happens to.

be a dwarf no what he's a little person. that doesn't mean it's just the voice is. different I didn't know. you need the voice but it's in the. language right so you need to do you. know one word in Korean you can make. that up if you don't even know. is that that's right. but it's got to be higher yeah. that ever famous that's it he's good. he'll get a deal from HBO right now who.

do you think who else got got but their. box ticked. you know I don't keep asking because you. know all the comics. your fingers on the pulse. I do one wait go ahead oh yeah. um. they're half and half half and half what. cream and milk gender oh. oh half and half so they're gender. non-specific but it's like I know what. it is I know I've seen that person you.

know who I'm talking yeah it's like. Harvey Two-Face yeah right so literally. it's half a half yeah half man half. women from the down the line this way. right so the the thick on this side of. the mouth that I've seen her yeah but. she's great yeah wait she's great. they're great yeah oh my bad they are. they're great. so it's half a dick and one ball well. yeah. yeah. I shouldn't even know yeah I mean you. know what that could happen and I'm just. throwing it out there science wise and.

I've read this on you know I mean. theories but when you open up her vagina. there's a penis inside it. so that is their opening yeah yeah but. how do you feel about not ever being on. a list of anything. um I mean this was all my heart yeah I. couldn't [ __ ] care less yeah I care. so [ __ ] little about that it's I. maybe sometimes I think I should care. and then I go no I don't [ __ ] give a. [ __ ] yeah but like when a friend gets it. stoked yeah I couldn't be happier when.

someone I know because I don't care. about it but I don't know I no I don't. [ __ ] give a [ __ ] at all rejection can. be a positive thing though well you deal. with it your whole life your whole. career is [ __ ] yeah get out of here. you stink it doesn't motivate you though. to like it's get rid of any expectations. or pressure yeah because it was like. okay if someone's [ __ ] with me anyway. then and that's how you get in your head. when you feel even though many people. are yeah many people do even you just. kind of uh feel free to create and you. should feel like that all the time. totally.

they're Dave our TV show Dave got one. Emmy nomination oh congratulations about. this yeah congratulations this is so. funny soundtrack yeah no really yeah. shoes we got but we're both of best. shoes what is it what is it it's uh Brad. Pitt Brad Pitt got nominee for best. guest star in a comedy series. wow yeah I mean he's not gonna win yeah. but that's still good I'm Gonna Come. Close. uh because Ted lasso is gonna [ __ ]. sweep it again like every like it does. every time Brad Pitt best comedy guest. actor for Dave they do he's never won an.

Emmy I don't think oh and so this is. like their shot I guess but it's not. gonna [ __ ] happen but it won't be SNL. and if it's not her Leslie Odom Jr it'll. be Nathan Lane or only murders because. he's [ __ ] have you seen that show I. heard it's great it's [ __ ] non-stop. good to me did you guys watch the idol. no I've heard that oh I'm gonna watch it. let's go back to the uh. what tell me about it what the one that. only murders yeah Steve Martin Martin. Short I know what it is is it great it's.

phenomenal it's so good I think it's so. good because they're so low I love them. it's kitchy it's a little old-fashioned. it's kitschy yeah it's but it's aware of. itself like it's very self-aware it. knows it's kitchy but it's wonderful and. Steve Martin and Martin sure might be. one of the [ __ ] funniest humans to. ever walk the earth the way he's like. this he's so like he's so theatrical his. manner is so good man but yeah Brad Pitt. got a name for Dave I think that was the. only nominee I knew I took a photo with. the other day I tell you about this he. was so nice is Chevy Chase oh yeah I.

really love Charlie I also got to meet. him once yeah he was so nice was he at. the club yeah well his daughter works at. the club yeah and I walked off stage and. then he goes bro Robert do you want a. photo let's take a photo Well he kind of. volunteered it and I took a photo with. him I was just like oh my God this is. amazing that's because I've been so like. intimidated because yep dude. Fletch [ __ ] caddish I mean you name. it yeah vacation I mean Legend yeah it's. insane yeah so nice and you'd heard.

things too that maybe he's a little. weird but I didn't see that all I ever. heard was that then they had been public. about it that he was tough to work with. yeah but no do you think people say that. about you. tough to work with sometimes. well I mean you know Aries Spears just. did uh my other podcast I know you know. me right we don't say the word by the. way we surpassed them in subscribers. last week. we surpassed and bad friends good yeah. it should be that's right because you. and I are Wham we're Wham yeah and.

you're am yeah but I remember Aries. going. um yeah you pooed you know I mean in my. dressing room or something I was like oh. I'm sorry. tough to work with not in the toilet on. the ground yeah yeah well that's because. back home they just have a hole in the. ground no there's on a TV show. but I mean where you're from don't you. guys poop in holes you mean from San. Diego. what the [ __ ] you're talking about man. is San San Diego San Diego South Korea. yes oh we say it like San Diego yeah San. Diego Oh you mean San Diego California.

no no I've been having the best sleep in. my entire life you have I gotta tell you. I've got the remedy I texted Taylor. Tomlinson two nights ago that's it. that's a that's a solution if you text. Taylor Tomlinson right before you go to. bed she gives you like a little. Soliloquy oh I didn't know I'll text her. tonight then she goes rest your head you. you'll soon be dead it's unfortunate. that your hair is red and I went to bed. I'll do that tonight no seriously I text. her because I saw her post something on. Instagram about. um not being able to sleep after coming. back from Australia she just got back.

and I said. I swear to God I thought this was so. stupid but I cut out coffee for a little. bit when I got back because a buddy was. like cut out coffee for a couple days so. your body's not like humming on as much. caffeine as usually do and then right. before you go to bed drink a warm glass. of milk and I thought yeah right and I. did I swear to God I passed out and I've. been doing it now if I have a little bit. of trouble sleeping a warm glass of milk. and I'm I'm lactose. they get a lactose free warm glass of. [ __ ] milk I don't know you new age. [ __ ] no but I don't like diarrhea in.

the middle of night that's even funnier. you sleep like a baby just [ __ ]. yourself. thank you. let me ask you just get a bed and ask. your plastic sheets. if you're are you really lactose. intolerant I am I never knew that about. you oh yeah we eat cheese and [ __ ] all. the time together and ice cream yeah we. eat ice cream together and you're not. there for the aftermath that's true send. us a video. it's a disaster you just have to take. lactate is that what you do last night I. had to I was a Big Bob's Big Boy. and the person I was with he gave me my.

lacked head who was that some girl I've. been hanging out with is this a new. intro love interest. well I was going to ask you something. yeah. is it okay to date a girl who's also. thinking about she had one open mic. this is really dangerous. anchor and the older I go. listen you know you know it I've been in. these situations before it generally. doesn't work out you know man because.

we're just in two different places she's. like what do you mean you know I mean. and it's like I want to support her. because I think she can do it you know. sure yeah but it's like I don't know if. I want but it's tough to be the biggest. career that's tough yeah that's a tough. place to be and you know how do you set. boundaries you know what I mean well. that's going to be harder because I've. done it before and this is what always. happens. can I you know ask me to open yeah and. then you do. and then you're dealing sucks and then. it sucks no I'll tell you what sucks. about it is you start taking on their.

nervousness oh like one time yeah I took. a girl that was a comic that was dating. up to open for me and she wasn't. featuring she had a five minute guest. spot yeah and she was pacing back and. forth backstage I gotta kill man I gotta. kill like and I was taking on her. nervousness and in my mind I'm like this. doesn't feel right yeah it's not yeah. because I had to focus on my um. headlining you could date a girl who's a. comic who's established yeah I think. it'd be harder to date someone that's. starting out yeah do you really like.

this person I do but look at me in the. eyes I do you do yeah but were you. looking at my ear or my eyes your ears. okay. wait a minute you really do like her. though yeah man she's cool I like her a. lot I'm just saying it's it's an it's an. issue that's dangerous it's so dangerous. it sucks how many girls have slept over. at the house since you've been single. have sleep sleepover. through the night into the morning. sleepover one one. girl and in the morning how does that go.

because you're interesting in the. morning. I don't sleep right so you just stay up. all night staring no I'm just staring at. the ceiling yeah. sometimes I do this though sometimes. I'll like I'll be like this. and I'll look over at my PlayStation and. I'll look back on the sky because that's. what I want to be why don't you just put. a screen on the ceiling oh why wouldn't. you do that on your back then you just. play on your back amazing let's do it. you can afford it I'm gonna do it I'm. gonna buy that really for Christmas I'm. gonna install that's one really cool. yeah yeah because then you don't have to. wake her up you don't have to get up so. one girl slept over in the morning I'm.

seeing one girl that goes do I'm seeing. this other girl right now how many. people are on your roster you got a. football team or a basketball team. I'm only physically seeing one person no. no I know that I'm not trying to call. you I'm saying how many people are you. talking to. football team football team yeah nice. but I'm seeing this one girl and she. goes. this is the best up front she's like. first of all. we're never gonna sleep together on the. same bed I can't sleep next to somebody. cool and in my mind I went yes right and.

she goes. um also if we hypothetically ever live. together. she goes I need to sleep in either a. different house or a different room this. is even better yeah I like this. yeah and then I asked her a question I. go so if I said to you I want to play 12. hours of video games right what do you. would she goes I don't give a [ __ ] it's. your life. ding right and the only negative she has. a penis. okay.

no no only there's no negative but my. point is is that and then like so she's. been you know at my house and she's. always like. right after we have you know hook up. she's like. are you gonna call me an Uber. she's ready to go yeah it's really cool. hey. yeah it's a lot of dings yeah you've. been dating anybody no you're keeping a. celibate I've bought new pedals for my. trumpet holy [ __ ] [ __ ]. full into my stand up. uh you're diving deep into you yeah I.

really like that good for you new pedals. for your trumpet yeah I have this amp. and you can I have the MU I showed you. guys it's like an electronic mute and. you can plug it into guitar pedals and. switch the sound up. you're really using the money wisely oh. yeah it's all going back into the art. she really is too but why is that. because I will make it back I know but. no my point is why are you um cutting. off a very important aspect of The Human. Experience.

which is you know obviously [ __ ] and. sucking yeah love will come I have to uh. hey but I have to slow down slow down. Bud because you don't always get to come. yeah yeah hey hey come on go but I have. and I'm also headlining in Austin we did. the pitching I have five hours to go. through eventually I'm gonna have to do. more tapings if I want like I really. have to focus right now yeah and I. really want to deliver a good product. for people but that never goes away. though yeah you do have to have a.

balance of life and love and happiness. and work and all because all that stuff. will crash down otherwise you'll just be. focused on one thing and then it'll all. I just feel really hungry right now for. like well that's good if it's if it's. servicing you then you should but don't. deny the other stuff no I won't and I. also don't go out in LA. yeah. at the store tonight no no my my best. friend's coming to town so I'm the next. couple days well we might tomorrow do we. go out no I don't go [ __ ] go out I. went out with my parents this weekend. because they're here for the fourth we.

went out and had a [ __ ] Blast how. come I didn't see your parents. honestly be real you don't want to. introduce me I know I took them I we. every single day we went out to do a. thing and it was. it's a lot but I want to meet them I. know dude but it was so much I've never. met your mother. I know Carlos met them. fancy Carlos why would you bring that up. Carlos Carlos met them because he was he. so funny we were getting we were getting. breakfast and I said hey we're near the.

studio. you know actually I didn't even offer it. someone else did and then my mom was. like can I see this and I said yeah I. guess so we walk over here. and I opened the door and it stinks like. [ __ ] weed and I mean reeks like. someone was ripping [ __ ] so he smokes. does drugs in your [ __ ] you smoke. weed Carlos oh Carlos I said that's. Carlos I opened the door I opened the. door and Carlos is a shit-faced Stoned. on the couch like this and he goes hey.

Andrew what's up man it closes his. laptop I go what are you doing here man. and he was like I'm waiting for packages. for fan stuff and I was like okay. and you met your parents I was like. here's my parents and they were like. yeah they were like who's that like mini. me Larry David guy that we met and then. my mom goes who is that man and I said. he we kind of taken him in like a stray. yeah yeah and I let him sleep in the. studio because he doesn't really have a.

place to live did they State your parent. your house yeah oh that's cool yeah you. spent a lot of time with you we sat by. the pool and talked oh that's nice we. talked about uh all the controversial. stuff that you want to get into with. your parents Bud Light right yeah good. good goodbye. we spent four days talking about Bud. Light if I'm going to be honest with you. no but then we took them to go watch the. fireworks because we get to we I get to. go see a special firework show because. I'm not special yeah I've never seen. that if I what I've never at the Fourth. of July I remember sitting by myself I.

was playing Elden ring again and in the. distance here. and I realize I go I've never seen that. you've never gone to watch fireworks. I've seen it in the movies where I'm. like oh that's what fireworks look like. so I've never seen it in real life I. don't believe you well he's walked. outside and seen him he's not he's means. he's never like been near a shot in the. distance no like in the distance like. from far away I'll go oh what's that a. nuclear bomb oh no it's fireworks. fireworks right because sometimes it. could be nuclear it's in your DNA to. feel that way yeah yeah but it's like.

I've never like been no one's ever. caught hey let's go to the beach and. watch I don't know what they do at the. beach I'm sure they do it like that like. up close I've never seen that it's so. dope I will invite me next time somebody. okay I'm being real yeah we do we we do. it right here and they see uh they put. it right over our heads I don't get. invited with anything I would have no no. no no no don't do that you wouldn't have. come to the thing I yeah you don't you. don't want to go to things that you get. invited I think that's a um well then. start to change it change what I'm. saying right now I'm willing to go. anywhere with anybody so everyone and.

everyone anyone that's listening yeah. ask him ask me you have to say yes for a. week whatever. well it's not like Easter egg hunting I. don't want to do that well why see this. is interesting no I don't want to do. that well why it's dumb why because I. have eggs in my fridge yeah but these. are colored and sometimes you have white. eggs oh yeah yeah thank you thank you. for being a bad friend. [Music].