Yellow Peril & Cave Butter | Ep 291 | Bad Friends

Hey, what's up, Bad Friends? I am on. tour. I'm back out on the road. Uh, first up, I do San Francisco. Sadly, that's sold out. I think there's a wait. list now. Brea, Southern California, Brea Improv. Come out and see me, Brea. Then I'm going to be at the Tempe Improv. out there in my old stomping grounds of. ASU. I'm going to be in Hammond, Indiana, right before Thanksgiving. I'm. going to be at Caesar's Windsor in. Ontario, Canada. Then I'm going to. Bethlehem, PA, Hanover, Maryland. Atlantic City at the Borgata that's. getting close to being sold out. Valley. Center, Harris Casino down in Valley. Center, which is near San Diego,

Canyonville, Oregon over there during uh. Valentine's Day. And then I'm gonna be. at the Wind Casino in Las Vegas in March. of the new year. So get your ticket to. andrewantino.com. Andrewsantino.com. >> You two are bad friends. >> Who are these two idiots? A. >> white dude and an Asian dude. You two. are disgusting. >> Oh, you two are something. >> We're bad friends. >> What a man. What a man. What a man. What. a mighty good man. Yes, he is.

>> I went for a hike today and I had to. carry my dog up half of the hill. She's. getting old. Oh. >> Oh, no. >> My heart break. It is so funny. She's. getting to the point now where she just. lays down when she's over it. >> You know when dogs like sit and they. just won't get up cuz you could like, "Come on. Come She just lay down in the. dirt. I was like, "Please get up and go. Please, can we go?" And then she just. looked up. I was like, "I'll pick you.". >> How old is.

>> 36. >> Wow, that's good. That's really good. >> She's going to be nine, I think. >> So, I made the decision. >> She's a She's an old dog. >> We have a dog named Remy. >> Mhm. >> Eyes completely white. >> You're going to do it, aren't you? And. you're going to put her down. >> Okay. Spine crooked. >> Dude, bro, what? No, but when a dog's. eyes significantly stress or fear when. they have uh. >> he's completely blind. Remy is deaf, crooked spine, right? Won't leave his.

bed, right? So the vet said, um you guys. might want to start thinking about. >> don't put him down. >> And I go, we're doing Christmas. >> We're doing Christmas. >> I go, we're doing Christmas in January. Maybe in January. >> Put him down on Christmas. >> Yeah. When I told Jules um that. information two days ago, we all just. started crying. I know sitting. >> I don't want to hear it. >> What? >> You want to You don't want to hear the. cry. >> I don't want to hear how you cry.

[Music]. >> And then you know what? And then you. start thinking about your other animals. cuz I have seven of them. >> They're all going to go. >> Yeah. And it's just it's just. devastating. >> But we're all going to go. >> Yeah. >> I want to do that full body scan thing. you were talking about. The. >> Yeah, I got to do it, too. Yeah, >> because we know a comic that had that. done. >> and they found a little something. >> They found a little something in our. friend. I want to do a full body scan. Carlos, you should do a full body scan. >> Yeah. >> I just got health insurance this summer. >> I'm excited.

>> Is that the first time you've ever had. it? >> No, not since I got dropped off my. parents like 11 years ago. >> Are your parents disappointed in you? That's what it feels like. >> No, I think. >> How could they look back at their lives. and you and they go, "Oh, we're proud.". >> Yeah. Because I'm not like I'm not dead. >> Yeah. You didn't die. >> Yeah. >> I don't work like a. >> I'm I'm proud of you. >> You are. >> Oh yeah. The glory holes. You know what. I mean? The That. >> stuff's cool. Yeah. Very quick of times. you've almost died and survived. I kept. this job. >> Yeah. That's true. Is this the longest.

job you've ever had? >> 100,000%. >> Yeah, dude. >> Have you thought about quitting ever? >> No. Never. I love this job. >> You do? >> Yeah. I love it. >> You got like the fame. >> That's not why. >> That's why. >> That's projecting. That is projecting. I. DON'T LIKE THE FAME. >> OH, you don't? >> I don't have get any fame. >> I do, but you know what I mean? >> I don't I I I don't bask in it. >> Here's how much Bobby hates the fame. When I said, "Where'd you go see the. movie that we're talking about?" He. goes, "The Grove." The most look at me, look at me, look at me location. The.

Grove of all places to go see a movie. That That's like being like I went to. Universal Studios. >> It's been too. >> I know. It's the busiest. You love that. Yeah. I go to the little quiet as far. away. >> No, you go to the hipster one where all. the hipsters say, "What's up, man?" with. their fancy mustaches. >> I go to Burbank. >> No, you don't. >> I I do. I go I shouldn't say that, but. >> you went to Echo Park or something. >> No, I go to Burbank. >> Where did I go to see this movie? Yeah, Lemily on Sunset 8,000 Sunset. >> Yeah,

>> that's because I had dinner down there. >> And it's dude already, dude. Can I just. say something? >> And it's the only one that had. >> When your lips tighten up, dude, you're. starting a fight. >> You know what it is? What? >> It's because I'm my lips are sunburnt. >> Oh, okay. >> I went to I I usually go to Burbank cuz. I like it. It's quiet and there's four. theaters up there. >> Have you noticed that they they've cut. down the Nicole Kidman video? >> Yeah. I'm tired of it. >> I'm tired of it. It's too long of a. walk. >> It's too long of a walk. Too much. talking. >> Too much. >> Right. The audience goes a little too.

haywire for me. But then the Friday. night when I saw one battle after the. next, it was just one thing she said and. I was like, "That was perfect." That is. good. the editing. >> You know the the scene where they're. like, "Put away your cell phone." And do. that thing. >> I went down to watch a movie in. Englewood. >> Yeah. >> They run a different pre-roll down. there. >> What is it? >> Different pre-roll. >> What is it? >> Like take out your cell phone, turn that. [ __ ] on, text, and FaceTime the whole. time the movie going. >> Talk as loud as you can. >> Talk as loud as you can. >> The vital moment.

>> Walk out to P4 five more times. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. It was different. >> Start a right. Start a right. Start a. right. You know what else I'm tired of? >> Actually, wait. This reminds me of the. first time I went to go see Belly in the. movie theater. Remember Belly? >> Bring up Belly. He probably doesn't even. remember Belly. Look at how Look at this. movie. >> I went to go see this in a tough. neighborhood. >> Yeah. >> And DM, Spoiler alert, DMX gets killed. pretty early on and a d a black dude in. front of us stands up. HE GOES, "OH,

HELL NO." AND THEY WALKED OUT. They They. wanted DMX in the whole [ __ ] movie. That's what I That's what I do when. Michelle Yao dies early. >> OH, HELL NO. >> I GO, "OH, [ __ ] NO.". >> NO. SO, I I'm tired of. >> God, Belly was such a good movie. >> The Coca-Cola commercials with the two. people got Yeah. >> Right. And then all of a sudden they're. race car driving. >> and then all of a sudden they're. dancing. >> Yeah. >> Right. And then all of a sudden they're. basically just in love on the middle of. a New York street and they hit the Cokes. together. I hate that one. And it has.

nothing to do with cuz they're black. >> Okay, good. It has nothing to do with. it. If they were white, it would annoy. me, too. >> I don't know. Maybe it wouldn't. No. No. >> Well, I met this girl at the comedy. store. It was Thursday. >> Okay. >> Pretty. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And then she was like, then she just. kind of made out with me in the hallway. >> Just started making out with you. >> Well, we talked a little bit. Had. cigarette, right? I bought her a drink. >> like a Coke commercial. >> Just like the Coke commercial. >> And then we we raced cars. We started.

dancing. It was crazy. It's pretty cool. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> One battle after another, though. >> It's one of the best movies I've seen. >> Best movies I've ever seen. >> Also underrated as far as comedy goes. It won't be considered a comedy, but it. absolutely is a comedy. It's an action. movie, but it's a comedy for sure. >> Yeah. I I I find Leo because of Once. Upon a Time in Hollywood, too. I think. he was very funny in that at times, you. know. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That I. just think that it's because he plays it. real as well. It's it's interesting. They're funny situations, but he's such. a good actor. And when you play it real,

when it's funny. >> That's when it's super funny. >> He's not like It's not like a. >> It's not like, you know, like a Will. Ferrell character. He's supposed to be. He is just being funny cuz this one the. situations are very honest, but the. reaction is funny. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. And Benio was great in it. >> So good. The best. >> How old is Benio Del Toro at this point? Let's take a guess. >> Okay. >> 50 something. >> I thought maybe almost 60 by now. 60 got. to be. >> 62 is my guess. Do you want to guess,

Bob? >> Well, I remember when he first came when. he did um Usual Suspects, I was at the. Mandreon. I was a door man. >> But how old was he then? 30. >> But he seen my age, but he was like on. fire cuz it was him and Michael Raport. were in the Mandreon. And I see them. like. >> dancing with these hot chicks. And I was. and I remember just sitting there by by. myself with a diet coke. >> sipping going, "Oh my god, they that's. the that's the new Hollywood." Oh, I.

want to ask you this. This is. interesting. These newer theaters, these nicer movie. theaters now, >> it's not just the old school snacks. >> Yeah. >> The upgrade is crazy. >> Crazy, >> bro. They had We had uh what's it? >> Raisinets. >> That's old school. >> Oh, [ __ ]. >> Let me guess. Let me guess. >> No, no, no. You're This is just insane. They had those high-end chalk like dark. chocolate bars. >> with mixed in like raspberry flakes and. all that stuff. >> And I was like, I'm not getting at the. [ __ ] movie theater. M. >> And she was like, "Let's just get it.

just with their popcorn." I was, "I. can't go back.". >> Yeah. >> The dark milk, the dark chocolate with. like the raspberry, like the, you know, like the lint chocolate bars. You know. those? They had those on display. They. had 10 different flavors. I was like, "Come on, get three or four.". >> How do you get the butter at the bottom. of the bucket? >> Say it again. >> How do you get the butter at the bottom. of the bucket? >> Well, you're gonna think I'm a. psychopath. >> No, but because I don't know. >> I squirt a cup of butter. I get a a side. cup for a fountain and I put butter in. it and I eat the popcorn and I sip the.

butter. >> Wow. >> Like a shock. Like a chaser. A chaser. A. butter chaser. >> A butter chaser. >> Wow. But how do you do it? Do you do you. move? Sometimes I try to move it. >> Huh? >> Or you put the butter on top and you do. a shake. Like what do you do? How do you. get the butter on the bottom? >> Do you want my secret? >> Yeah. >> So you get the bucket. You can't get the. bag. The bag is an issue, right? You get. the bucket and you go, "Hey, can you. fill that up just below the line? I know. it. Don't overflow it." And they fill it. up just below the line. And you go, "Can. I get a second bucket? I'll pay for just. an empty bucket." And I put the bucket. on top of the bucket. And I shake it.

like a salad. And I mix it all up. And I. just throw You really do that? >> Yeah. I throw away the second bucket. >> Oh, that's ingenious. >> It's that or the bucket or the butter. shot? I'll do a butter shot, too. I'll. take a little cup. Okay. >> Like a little butterback. >> Yeah. >> Little popcorn butterback. >> What kind of butter is it? It seems like. oil. >> It's oil butter. >> It's oil butter. Yeah. >> Well, it's also been sitting in that vat. for about 40 days. There's no way they. clean it. It's not good for you. >> You know, that's how I got sick in. college, right? >> What? Oh, I got. >> butter. >> My buddy, my buddy Colin and I, I could. call him. My buddy Colin and I got food. poisoning during finals week of college.

We went to go see a movie with our buddy. Colorado John. And John was the only guy. that didn't eat popcorn. He's like, "No, I don't want popcorn, man." And we. shared a bucket of popcorn and we got so. [ __ ] sick. >> How do you get food poisoning from. popcorn? >> From the butter. The butter. >> From the butter. The butter. The boiled. butter. >> The butter spoiled. >> Oh my god. >> The doctor was like, "What did you eat?". I went down the list. I was like, "Dude, I had ramen." Which literally doesn't go. bad. Ramen lasts about nine million. years in that packet. Yeah. >> I go, I had ramen for lunch. That's all. I ate until we got to the theater. >> And then Colin had a totally different. meal. We both were sick for two full. days. I lost like nine pounds. It was.

insane. Wow. >> I look good for finals. I wasn't my. shirt off. >> A B C. >> Yeah, >> dude. I was sick. I That's the sickest. I've ever been food poisoning. And the. doctor concluded. He was like, "Well, it. had been the Did you put butter?" I. said, "Yeah, of course we had butter on. the He goes, that dude, brother, that's. >> that's it. >> 100% what it was.". >> You know, it's also a college campus. movie theater. The [ __ ] goons working. there are stoned to the bone like us. They're not paying attention and. cleaning [ __ ] Yeah. Dirty, dirty, dirty. >> So, if you go to Major Domo, there used. to they used to have cave butter and.

there's a cave somewhere in California. where they get the butter. >> What do you What are you talking about? Butter comes from cows. >> No, there's cave butter. >> So, so it just organically grows in the. cave. >> You know, there's like a bat in there. I. don't know what it is, but like. >> Major Domo cave butter refers to caveed. butter from crown finished caves served. at David Chang's restaurant. >> That's what I'm saying. >> Right. Right. So, what I'm saying is. >> crown fish. >> and you can taste the difference. >> because it's from a cave. >> Yeah, it's definitely cave butter. Yes. >> No cave butter when I say. >> it's just they store it in a cave.

That's all it is. >> I know. That's what I'm saying. I just. say it's from the cave. There's not one. cow in there going. >> How funny if there was just a cow in a. cave. >> He's exhausted. They're milking him all. day long. >> Leave me alone. >> Yeah. But what I'm saying is you take. fancy butter like that and you put that. in popcorn somehow. Ah, this is. >> like level it out. No, level out because. the oil butter is [ __ ] bad for you. >> Of course. >> And and cave butter is so flavorful. Why. don't we just take it to the next level? >> Take it to the next level with the cave.

butter, please. >> How do you do it? Do you condense the. cave butter into a liquid form? I don't. know. >> Touch more. >> Of course you have to. >> Well, it can't be that much more. How. much is cake butter very expensive? >> It's like $1,000 a bar. >> Fancy cave butter. >> Yeah. Yeah. Like elevate the popcorn. >> We must at this point it is. >> Yeah. >> Frank's gourmet popcorn butterflavored. coconut oil. Oh. >> yeah. >> It's a substitute. No. These are all. substitutes, my guy. >> But still not elevated enough for me,

Dad. >> Okay. But how about this? When you get a. candy like an M&M's, you sprinkle that. in the popcorn. Yes. >> No. >> Insane. You don't do that. >> Do you do that? >> Everybody does that. You sprinkle them. in there, then you get to grab a couple. handfuls. Then you get some You'll get. one popcorn with with some of the M&M's. cuz M&M's don't go all the way through. They stick halfway in some of the. creasses. >> Okay. I know. I got a good idea. >> You just You make it so it's like a. [ __ ] yogurt chop. >> Oh, yeah. Yeah. So, it's just not just. cave butter, right? But you put graham. like graham from a little bit of graham,

right? >> From uh some toffee. Some sort of toffee. thing. You know what I mean? >> Maybe maybe candied pecans. >> Exactly. >> If you're getting nuts, candied walnuts. if you're getting [ __ ]. >> But you put the butter in first so that. all the other stuff sticks to it. >> I like this. >> Right. What do you think? Maybe a. blueberry. >> You know, it's a stretch, but I like it. >> I like it. >> One blueberry blueberry. >> in the bottom of it. You got You have to. try to find it. >> and your partner goes, "You got the. blueberry?" Yeah. Yeah. There's only one. in there. You know, >> that's good for good luck. >> That's Yeah, >> that's actually a good idea. >> They elevate the popcorn. What else can.

we elevate in there? >> Yeah. >> Well, they do some of like at Lemy's, they have a full bar, which I think is. insane, that you can just get like a. cocktail with it, which I thought was. kind of great. >> No drinking, but still. Yeah, >> Garretts is good. I see that. You got to. elevate the popcorn, man. We got to move. on up. >> Yeah, let's move on with the popcorn. >> We're running thin on that. And also. then the snacks. The snacks though. The. snack game is very What's Sonoma? What's. this? Oop. >> $50 popcorn. >> Bobby's going to love it. >> Yeah, that's it. >> What is that? Williams and Sonoma makes.

Soma popcorn gift set. No, no, that's. the bowl thing. You're paying not for. the popcorn. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Glad I didn't get it. >> This guy was just going to buy it. >> Is there elevated corn? >> Google. Is there elevated corn? >> I'm I'm really getting into this. >> We're trying to get to the next level of. popcorn. >> Yeah. Yeah. We got It starts with the. corn. >> Cave corn. >> Oh, there can be elevated significantly. taller corn. No, that's not what we're. talking about. >> Yeah. >> Is there fancy corn? >> Is there fancy corn? >> Is there Andre corn? >> Yeah, organic fancy corn. >> Is there Yes, there is fancy corn.

>> Yeah, >> it referred to cornmeal multi Indian. corn. Oh, yeah. Indian corn is. >> We need Indian corn. We need Indian. popcorn cuz they're different colors. >> They're going to be mad at us for. appropriating that as well. Look at. that. That there's Indian corn. >> Yeah, you use Indian corn, cave butter. >> I Indian corn with butter, >> right? Imagine. >> I just sounded like John F. Kennedy. >> Imagine. >> Imagine. >> Imagine. >> Imagine. I mean, >> Indian popcorn with cave butter. >> With cave butter and also all the.

fixings. >> and sea salt. >> And sea salt. Dude, that's what I'm. saying. Elevate this [ __ ]. >> Kosher sea salt. >> Yeah, dude. Imagine. >> Wow. I I think we should. Imagine. >> we can elevate the menu at a at a movie. theater. >> I think we can I don't know, dude. It's. time. >> It's time, dude. >> I will say those Coke machines they have. now have every flavor of everything on. earth and it's [ __ ] amazing. >> I refuse to do the flavors. >> You're out of your [ __ ] mind. >> I refuse. >> Cherry Coke is phenomenal. >> If you get a diet [ __ ] Coke and you. put a sugary cherry thing, it defeats. the purpose of the diet part of it.

You're still getting sugar. >> What do you mean? They do fake They do. fake sugar. Yeah, they do fake sugar. now. They do aspartame versions of all. of it. Oh, really? So, it's not real. sugar. >> No, it's fake. >> Okay. Well, then I'll do lime. >> You have them both? >> Yeah. >> Yeah, they have both. Look at all the. options. I want one of those at my. house. >> Yeah, that's a great thing. >> That's one of those things like like I. had a friend in high school who was like. a who was a super rich kid and we go. over to his house in his basement. He. had a Coke bottle machine. We could get. Coke by the bottle. >> You hit it by a dispense. We drink like. nine Cokes a day. >> My colleague Kulkin movie where he gets. a million dollars.

>> Brewster's Millions. >> Puts the McDonald's. >> Yeah. The McDonald's in your house. >> Yeah. I was hankering this morning, by. the way, for a sausage egg McMuffin. I. almost went to Mac's for one. Sausage. egg McMuffin is the best thing in the. [ __ ] world. >> I think so, too. It's It's so [ __ ]. good. You slide that hash brown inside. >> I don't do that. >> No. No. >> You don't put the hash brown inside the. sausage. >> It won't change my life. >> I'm telling you, why eat it separately? >> Yeah. >> Why eat it out of it? >> So, if I do that, the light like it'll. turn completely bright.

>> Imagine, >> right? And I'll have a spiritual. awakening. What the [ __ ] are you talking. about? You'll see in color for the first. time. >> Yeah. No, I don't think so. But I think. it'll be good. >> It's phenomenal. >> Okay. >> Here's here's what you do. You want a. You want a real little secret topper? They sell Taco Bell hot sauce now in the. grocery store, which my fridge has five. of them in there right now. >> Honestly, of all the hot sauce, >> they sell they sell the fire. You can. get hot fire. Look, there they are. >> Yeah. >> Taco Bell hot sauce sold sold in the. store in the bottle. We buy that [ __ ] I. put that on everything. It's that on.

breakfast. Do you not like Taco Bell hot. sauce? It's a packet. I don't really. think about it. >> Oh, brother. >> When you go to Taco Taco Bell, you don't. use it. >> I use Diablo fire. Yeah. But I don't. think, "Oh, this is amazing hot sauce.". >> Oh, no, no, no. It's not that it's. amazing. It's the flavor is just good. >> Well, the flavor is okay. >> But I put that on my breakfast. sandwiches. >> Oh, you do? >> And you know what? >> Yeah, I bet. I bet it is. Yeah. >> It's a kiss on the mouth. >> Yeah. Do you ever do the taco? >> This guy selling 50 hot sauce packets. That's so funny. >> That's funny. >> I bet you people buy it. >> Do you do the breakfast burrito at. McDonald's, too, or No, >> I've never done the breakfast burrito.

Yeah. I'm too scared. It's a tube. >> A tube of fear. I don't like it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I call it a tube of fear. I. don't like it. >> But this is the thing. McDonald's has. been switching up their menu a little. bit with introducing new items. They're. risky and some of the new ones I'm not. Their chicken menu is getting too big. Slow down with all the chicken. >> Amen. >> Give me McDonald's new menu. >> Yeah. >> I went we went the other week and I. thought, >> you guys need to slow down. Go back to. the basics, dude. >> They got new [ __ ] on there that I'm just. not like chicken strips. Get the [ __ ]. out of here. It's nuggets or nothing, dude. It's nuggets or nothing. What's a.

new What's new on there? New edition. Boo buckets. >> Oh, boo buckets. >> Wait, wait. Tiny tan happy meal. That's. for the Philippines only, isn't it? Tiny. tan. >> Wow. >> There's a meet up in Los Angeles. >> for Tiny Tan. >> Yeah, for parents, I guess. >> Can we go back to the movie um popcorn. real quick? >> Look at this special edition. Special. edition gold sauce. >> Yeah. >> All right. What's What do you want to do. with the popcorn? We. >> No, no. I'm just saying. So, I went to. see that movie um with a date. We got a. large popcorn.

>> Mhm. >> A small bottle of Smart Water. >> Not needed, but go ahead. >> Why? >> Waste of money. >> Okay. Anyway, um that's what we got. >> Yeah. >> And a Diet Coke. 30 bucks. >> Oh, yeah. Well, it's a [ __ ]. >> How much are they making off of that? >> Can you imagine how much our our fancy. Indian corn cave butter is going to be? >> 80 bucks a bucket. >> We're never going to be able to source. it. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. That's. >> We're going to be We're going to be. ripping people off. >> Yeah. But the movie we can make cheaper. because we won't what we'll do is we'll. run a bunch of you know previews will be. an hour and a half to pay for the Indian.

corn. >> Okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. >> So you'll have an hour of previews. >> Movie theaters make almost no money with. the movie. They make all their money. with. >> concessions. But they also make money. using the previews, right? Don't they. have to pay to have those previews put. in front of those films? Is that not. true? >> Yes. Yes. With. >> But have you smuggled in stuff? I have. And they don't give a [ __ ]. >> What do you mean? That was my whole. life. >> Yeah. Yeah. The only reason I The only. reason I do it now is because I'm just. timing wise I don't feel like bringing. [ __ ] in. Yeah. >> But mo I would say the majority of. people still sneak in food. And you.

shouldn't sneak because it's a teenager. ripping tickets. He doesn't give a [ __ ]. You think a 16-year-old is going to be. like, "Sir, what's in your pockets?". >> Yeah. They don't do that. >> He doesn't [ __ ] care. It's a It's a. It's. >> It's mostly coffee. >> You sneak in coffee? >> Yeah. Like an iced You know what I mean? Venti something. Right. And I I What? >> Put it in your. >> No, I cup I do this. This. Right. Right. And I do one of these and I hand the. ticket like this. >> Yeah. They'll never see that when you. walk around. >> No. Can you see it now? >> Well, I'm just on this angle now. >> I know. You think you can spin AROUND TO.

THIS SIDE? >> He can hear the ice jingle jangling in. that cup. >> It's It's basically on the walk, dude. Limp, dude. >> You. >> Yeah. And I go, "Here you go." Right. >> Smart. >> And then when there I I always keep You. always have to keep eye contact. >> Got it. >> Right. There you go. >> What if there's an employee behind you, sir? >> Yeah. You got to cup it. >> You sneak in coffin. >> Yeah, cuz in high school you smoke those. cigarettes. I was good at cupping the. cigarette. >> Oh, >> yeah. You're just walking down the. hallway, right? >> Oh, yeah. Cupping cupping the cigarette. >> I I know how to cup that. I know there's.

smoke, but they thought I was Asian. I. was doing some sort of you you know what. I mean? Like Street Fighter thing. >> Oh, you can whatever. You know what I. mean? Yeah. Yeah. >> But that's smart. >> Yeah. I'm very smart with my hands. >> My friend Sarah and I used to sneak in. 40s. You just bring in a big purse in. college and sneak in 40s. >> That's college days, dude. The good old. days. Yeah. sneak a 40 in the movie. theater. Actually, the fans down below, comment the the craziest thing you've. snuck into the movie theater cuz I'm. actually curious to know who snuck in. some wild. >> like what do you think the biggest thing. you could put something down your pants. if it's long? >> Yeah.

>> You know what I mean? Well, I mean, if. you have like a [ __ ] if if it's like a. big thing, you just put it in your. pants. They're not they don't care. Jackets, by the way, Midwest, we don't. have that out here. When winter comes, you can sneak in a [ __ ] entire. kitchen into a movie theater. >> Yeah. Have you ever peed in the movie? [Laughter]. >> Into what? the bucket. >> No, on the ground. >> You just pissed on the ground. >> one time. I did. >> Well, it goes that way. >> What? >> It just goes away from me. >> Cuz it was back in the um early 80s. >> Yeah. Back when it was normal. >> Yeah, it was normal back in the 80s. Yeah. >> You do you remember the movie?

>> Evil Dead. >> Evil Dead. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> That was not the '8s. >> Yeah, it was like late '7s. >> You didn't want to miss a minute. >> That was a kid. I remember. And my. friend, my cousin Jennifer. >> cuz here's what we went to the movie. There was Empire Strikes Back playing. >> and Evil Dead. And I was like, "Can we. do Empire Strikes Back?" And she was. like older. She said, "No, we're doing. evil." You already saw Empire Strikes. Back. >> See a double feature, dude. >> Yeah. So, I was No, we our parents, we. only had two hours. >> Okay. >> So, anyway, we went in there, right? And. just to make her mad, I peed on the. ground. And I remember it ruined the. movie for her. He [ __ ] hated it. But.

anyway, I did it that time. >> You never done that? >> No. Okay. >> Never peed in a theater. >> Bluetooth into the room. Dick first. >> Get in there. Dick first. Bluetooth. It's not just a tablet. It's a cheat. code for your crotch. Uh, stronger, harder, longerlasting. like someone gave. your downstairs a pep talk and a gym. membership that Bobby is finally. getting. >> Bluetooth um has saved my sex life. because when you get older sometimes. papa's not awake. >> That's right. >> And you know me, Bluetooth goes it's. like it's owned coffee almost. It's like.

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responsible gaming resources, see. dkg.co. the CEO/audio limited time. offer. Also, I saw a sign that today. yesterday that bugged me to no end. They. had a me Okay, it's one of these like. progressive places, but they're trying. way too hard. It had a men's bathroom. and a women's bathroom, right? So, it. literally said MN Women. Then below that. on each door had an image of, and you've. seen this before, it's like half man, half a dress, and then it says and then. a disabled icon and it says whatever,

just wash your hands. So I was like, "So. what is it?". >> You know that that's that's the symbol. That one right there, gender neutral. It. was a gender neutral. So it had that. below the other sign that already said. man or woman. So it's like just say. [ __ ] bathroom. >> This is what. >> say bathroom then. >> It's It's the guy that's doing the. signs. >> So it's the guy that's doing. >> just listen to the guy. No, just listen. >> [ __ ] the guy that made these signs. >> Yeah. Yeah. No. No. It's not that sign. It's this. Okay. that the original one.

is the men's one, right? And then. somebody at the at the meeting, right, said, >> "Hey, we need new signs.". >> I don't think that's what they said, >> bro. You know, it's 2025, bro. We need. [ __ ] new signs, right? >> Well, Pedro, I don't think we're trust. You're aligned. >> But let me tell you something. I bought. the new signs on, you know, Amazon, right? >> But you know what? I'm going to keep the. old sign on. >> just in case. >> Yeah. Yeah. No, because he's lazy. >> Ah, >> right. Not because not because the. character is Mexican. See, I think that.

>> I'm just saying he's like, I'm just. going to put this side underneath the. old sign. Right. >> Right. >> Yeah. >> You know, but you know, they'll they'll. get it. >> They'll get it. >> But then Santino comes along and goes, I. don't like that. >> I don't just say bathroom. By the way, they should all just say bathroom then. That's the deal. If you're going to keep. doing this game, just say [ __ ]. bathroom. And it should, you know what. the sign should say? If you're a guy, lift the [ __ ] seat up and piss and. put it down when you're done. That's. what the sign should actually say. Don't. piss on the seat. Don't be an [ __ ]. And then it's just a place to pee and.

poop. But but you. >> they should have ones. >> This is big signage at its side. >> See the little white head on it? >> Yeah. What if they have race specific. ones? >> Oh, that's funny. Race neutral bathroom. >> No, just no spec. Why don't we just go. the reverse way? >> Oh, just white and black bathrooms. >> No. And diff different ones. >> Oh, you like water fountains like that, too? >> What else do you want to do? You want. schools to be only one color? >> No, because can I say something for. Asians, right? We like Carlos. We like. lower, you know,

>> toilets. >> You need lower sinks. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And lower things. You. know what I mean? We like, you know. >> Yeah. We'll make the Asian only. >> Yeah. >> I get that. >> What would the What would the black one. have in it? >> Well, it'd be taller. That's for sure. On average. Go back to that picture. >> There'd be graffiti. >> So, >> it's an art. >> Oh my god, dude. Did you see that video. of that girl that [ __ ] had a panic. attack parasailing and then unclipped. her [ __ ]. >> and she died? >> Oh, big time. >> Oh.

>> Oh, [ __ ] big time. >> Big time died. >> Look at the. >> her. >> What the [ __ ] That's not it. Oh, there. it is. There's the footage. So, she's. like she's freaking out. She's freaking out and then she uncips. the [ __ ] harness. >> Why? >> Cuz she's having a panic attack. You. don't see anything gruesome here. You. just She just disappears. But look, she. gets out of she takes off the jacket. She must be having a severe Look at how. high she is. >> This poor girl. She gets out of the. harness and is like, "No, I don't want.

to be here anymore." And then. >> gone. >> Say Tom Cruz. >> Yeah. Well, that that turns out that. mission was possible. I mean, mission complete. That's insane. I don't know why she would do that. She. must have had a crazy panic attack. >> By the way, these things are all These. things are [ __ ] atrocious. How many. times a year do you hear these. accidents? They go down. Kids go down to. Mexico and these things some [ __ ]. wild [ __ ] happens with parasailing. It's. It's a terrible They're so dumb. >> Can you see if she died? >> She did die, dude. It just said that in.

the article. >> Oh my god. But did she know she was. going to die? >> I think if you're 200 feet up, you'd. know you're going to die. >> Then why would she do that? >> I think she had a panic attack. 60. accidents, injuries, and fatalities. >> over. >> one death per 100,000 trips. Let me tell. you something. If one in one that that's. not worth no. >> one in 100,000 is worth it. >> There's no exact number of parasailing. deaths per year. You know why? Because. they all happen in Mexico. Yeah. And. they don't [ __ ] report it. >> If there was a roller coaster and they. go one in every 100,000 people die on.

this. Would you go? >> I'm not interested. That's why I do. roller coasters because it's not one in. roller coasters is probably like one in. every [ __ ] hundred million. >> Yeah. >> They never It never happens. >> But it puts more fear into the roller. coaster. That's what makes it funner, right, Carlos? Come on. >> That's not what makes it more funner. I. mean, two to four, that's not enough to. get my blood going. >> That's not even fatalities half the. time. It's just accidents. Health. The. fatalities from these accidents are. often guest health issues, right? Like. heart attack. People have heart attack. or stroke. >> You should drive fast on the freeway and. turn your lights off for two seconds.

>> Yeah. >> Exciting. >> Okay. >> Yeah, I do that sometimes. >> cuz I I've always. >> like these girls, they have all this. dash footage of these girls texting and. flipping their cars. >> That is some of the funniest [ __ ] dude. cuz I have a morbid morbid fantasy of. creating a a water park, but it's. everyone dies on each ride. >> Oh, >> like I have a a water slide. >> Wait till word gets out about it. >> I have a water slide where you go in a. tube, but it gets smaller and smaller. >> Oh my god, that's like my nightmare. >> And then you get stuck, right, but the. water's still flowing. >> Oh, Bob. >> Other people, you know what I mean? Hop, right?

>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, that's one of. them. >> Death trap water slide. >> Yeah. >> Welcome to death trap. >> You don't have thoughts like that? >> Absolutely not. >> What? What's wrong with me? >> I don't know. >> Yeah. Well, you know, Nate Barati's. making a theme park. Maybe you can pitch. this to theme park. >> Yeah. >> At Natland, you could die in the water. park. Uh, exactly. Numbers aren't. There are. specifically a few fatalities annual in. the US water parks. Drowning is a. significant risk, by the way. No, this. has got to be [ __ ] up, too. Every year. a kid dies at those wave pools. Every. year a kid dies at one of these wave.

pools cuz they get stuck in the thing. They can't swim. >> Wave pools are sick, though. >> They're sick. >> They're so fun. >> Yeah. >> You know what you and I got to go to at. least one time? Look at Yeah. Look at. that. The wave pool. >> Would you go in that? I don't think you. would go in there. I've been to pools. with you. If there's one person in. sometimes you're like, I'm not going in. there. >> That's true. I don't want to go in if. there's one person in the pool. I want. it to be quiet. >> Yeah. >> That that for that's that is a this is. genuinely. >> that's an anxiety attack. That's where. you pull out the shoot. >> I can't do that. Also, rest in peace to. that girl. I wasn't making fun of her. I. was saying that's crazy. The poor girl.

had a panic attack and jumped. >> How much SARS is in that water? That's where. >> there's got to be SARS in there. >> That's where CO really started at a wave. poolool. >> Oh man, I saw a funny meme online of the. kid of of uh. >> Ron Weasley. I don't know. I can't. remember the actor's name. >> Yeah. >> Of yelling uh it was like he was holding. gasoline in the air. Yeah. What did he. say? >> Expensive petroleum. >> Expens Yeah. What does he say? This is a. great.

[Music]. [Laughter]. Dude, >> dude, he's Ron Weasley 24/7, that guy. Dude, that's amazing. >> That's killer. That's so funny. >> But that's almost almost like a wand he. pulled up there. You know what I mean? >> That's why he did it. >> Wow. >> That's so funny. Expensive petroleum. >> God, he's so good. >> What a brilliant thing to do. Play into. the bit, though.

>> So good, man. >> So funny. Oh, I got bad news for you, too. Your boy Diddy just got 50 months. >> I know. Does he go to your meetings at. Ron Weasley or No, >> he hasn't been in years. He doesn't. >> Who's been showing up to your meetings. lately? >> Kathy Griffin's there. She leaves it. >> Yeah. >> Keratop. Look at the Look at the picture. that they put up of Diddy bending over. on the stool. Did you see that? They're. like, "Man, they did Diddy wrong." They. drew him like bent over the stool. crying. 50 months. Yeah, that one. That. second one. Yeah. Yeah. They're like, they did him wrong in the court drawing.

Isn't that a good time though? I mean, he was going to get way worse, right? >> He should have gotten worse. >> He should have got like 40 years. I. think four years he got off. >> Did you sayif 50 months? Is that the. truth? Is that what it was? Four. Four. months. >> And cut that in half. He'll get out. earlier. >> Yes. Time served and all that stuff. Yeah. >> Yeah. Probably get out in [ __ ] two. and a half years. >> Yeah. And then would you go to the next. diddy party when he gets out? >> Oh yeah. >> How good it's going to be. >> How do you get invited to those? I I've. never been to one. >> How do you get invited to those? I don't. know. >> Yeah. I don't Yeah. You know, let me who. who would get invited first, you or me?

>> Oh, brother. >> You. >> Carlos. >> Oh, Carlos first. >> Buddy, you and I don't get invited to. any parties. >> I know. But I wonder what I would wear. >> to a diddy party. >> Yeah. Get a suit. >> Easy. You want easy access to your tush? Maybe one of those assless chaps. >> Yeah. >> You know, with a little flap. >> I would be nervous. >> to a diddy party. >> Yeah. >> Imagine he is going to throw a party. when he gets out. You do know that. >> It's going to be sick. >> It's going to be. >> Carlos. >> It's going to be sick. Sick. It's going. to be. >> Would you rather go to a diddy party or. a Cosby party?

>> Oh, >> well, diddy cuz I want to remember it. >> Cosby party and no recollection of the. party. >> Yeah, I just woke up in my car the next. day. >> I didn't like it when he made those kids. walk to [ __ ] Brooklyn for cheesecake. >> That's like the first time I actually. hated him. You don't even know the. reference I'm making. >> No, I don't. >> Did he did a show called uh was it. Making the Band or whatever the what was. the name of his show? >> Making the Band. >> Making the Band. And he would he would. make them go on these missions, right? Right. And they had to go do [ __ ] for. him and he had to make one time he made. them walk I want to say it was across.

Brooklyn Bridge for cheesecake making. that's not a like that's not a proof of. that you're loyal cheesecake though. >> It was phenomenal cheesecake. Yeah I. did. >> It depends on what kind of cheesecake it. is. No. >> There's no cheesecake that good. Now if. it was tiramisu we have a totally. different conversation. Yeah. >> But tiramisu is undoubtedly the best. >> Are they being televised? >> Yeah it was on MTV. >> Well then yeah do it. >> Don't do it. >> I knew you would agree with I know. See. TV guy. I knew you'd agree with this. method of. >> Well, no. It's basically like this. It's. like when when Leo was on the Revenant,

right? He was out there in the cold. >> Yeah. >> That's so different than this. >> It's not. It's not that. It's not. >> Leo was. >> YOU DO THE JOB. >> Leo was in character. >> Yeah. And these kids aren't in the. character. >> They're not in character. They're. >> I'm playing the [ __ ] cheesecake guy. >> You're the cheesecake guy. >> Okay. >> You are the. >> You're the cheesecake guy, dude. >> No, you are. >> Okay. What What do you mean by that? >> What do you want on it? >> Yeah. I don't like cheesecake. >> Well, then [ __ ]. >> Why would I be the cheesecake guy? Well, exactly. >> What I'm saying though is if the cameras. are rolling and they're playing a role, right? You're a reality show studio show. guy. >> If the cameras are rolling,

>> you know what I mean? It's like get the. cheesecake. >> Haven't you done this with someone where. you made him get you breakfast burritos. at like 5 in the morning? >> Yeah, but I pay them good. >> Okay. >> Yeah. >> Who got you breakfast? >> Still slightly demeaning. >> Like Alex and stuff. I I'll get I'll. call Alex and go because um there's some. breakfast burritos that don't deliver. >> So you say go get it for me? >> Yeah. >> And they get it. >> Yeah. >> Crazy. What do you got? 100 bucks. Lucky. Boys in Pasadena. >> Oh, >> you've been there. >> Lucky Boys Pasadena has the best. breakfast burritos in LA. >> Look it up. I want to see what. >> And they don't they don't deliver. So.

times sometimes I'll call somebody and. go, "Yo, I'll give you $100. Go down to. Pastina. Give me Lucky Boys [ __ ]. breakfast burrito.". >> Do you get cheese fries with it? >> Yeah, I get the whole thing. >> That looks good. >> The best thing about See, that's the. key. >> You get You have the breakfast burrito. right to your right. It's the perfect. amount of everything dispersed equally. >> Eggs, cheese, bacon, sausage, hash. browns, and that's it. >> Yes. And look at to the left. The best. ranch sauce.

>> with the best hot sauce. >> and. >> and you duck them together. >> I know you don't get the cheese chili. cheese fries. That's. >> No, I don't get that. I I I can only eat. one Lucky Boy [ __ ]. >> one Lucky Boy burrito. >> Burrito. Yeah. Yeah. >> And that's 900 calories. >> My second favorite. >> That's a big burrito. >> Yeah. is the um Corner Cottage. >> Where the [ __ ] is that. >> in Burbank? They deliver. Get the Corner. Cottage breakfast burrito. That's my. second second favorite. My third. favorite is Kofax.

>> Kofax is good. They've been good for. years. >> Yeah. And if you don't have an opinion. about breakfast burrito, don't be my. friend. All right. >> Do you have an opinion about it? >> I tell you who's got a pretty good ass. [ __ ] breakfast burrito is uh right. here um up at Sportsman's Lodge. It's. called uh. >> Airwin has a good one. >> No, no, [ __ ] that. What's the What's the. spot? That's Civil Coffee. They have a. good [ __ ] breakfast burrito. I like. their You know why? I like that they. have chunky potatoes. I like those big. cube potatoes. >> I don't know, man. >> Oh, look at that thing. Give me Yeah.

>> Oh, look at the big chunky I like big. chunky [ __ ] potatoes, baby. >> Okay, >> give me chunky potatoes. >> Look at that thing. >> Stop making that [ __ ] noise, man. >> Look. Wait. And look at but zoom in and. look at and look at look at the fry oil. cuz you can still see through the. burrito. [Music]. >> M. >> by the way as soon as I eat that. >> lucky boy [ __ ] burrito. >> As soon as I eat that my stomach. >> lucky boy is lucky me lucky boy. Me with.

lucky boyum. >> Okay. That's me and with lucky boy. >> I'll kiss the burrito. >> I'll [ __ ] the burrito now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You want me to [ __ ] a burrito, dude? >> I don't. >> Okay. >> That's your. >> Sorry. My bad to YouTube. But I get it. >> I get it. >> All right. Yeah, >> we get it. >> If there are places in LA where you can. the best of something, you know what I. mean? >> That's why the city is still why it's. still holding up. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> What should we be for Halloween this. year? >> The girl from Silent Hill F. >> Oh, >> that looks like you. Yeah. >> Yeah. I've been playing that game.

>> No, I haven't started yet. >> I I have I've been playing it. The [ __ ]. >> I'm going to give up. I've died 15 times. already. >> I was going to say it looks really hard. I don't want to deal with that right. now. >> I'll tell you. Can I tell you what is. hard? Mhm. There's only two modes. Story and hard. >> So story is like too easy. >> No, story is too hard. >> I I don't even know what hard's like. >> [ __ ] that then. >> All right. In the beginning of the game, you're stuck in this small little. Japanese town. Yeah.

>> Okay. >> And all of a sudden, there's these. creatures that come out with a kn. It's. [ __ ] scary as [ __ ]. >> What's the name of the game? >> Silent Hill F. And um. >> I'm ready for some [ __ ] Halloween. [ __ ] Are we going to go to a haunted. house? >> Oh, yeah. Let's do it. You see that. creature? Yeah. They're like, >> "Is that Ali Wong?". >> Yeah. Ali Wong's You play Ali Wong and. you're the first 20 minutes of the game, you're just dodging like running from. them and you can hear them chase you. It's so petrifying scary. And there's no.

It's all melee weapons. So you. eventually you pick up a pole. >> like that. >> Yeah. Or Yeah. or something like that or. like a pipe and you're fighting these. creatures with a pipe. It's so hard. >> That's too hard. >> It's so [ __ ] hard, but it is. beautiful and it's pretty scary. >> Bad friends Halloween. What are we going. to be for Halloween? >> Yeah, I was just writing on my notes. >> Okay, >> Bad Bunny. Oh yeah, people are mad at. Bad Bunny for doing the Super Bowl. Is. that what it is? >> He was so good on SNL. >> Yeah, dude. He's the man. I What's the. issue? Go ahead. You're a Spaniard.

What's the issue with Bad Bunny playing. the Super Bowl? >> I think people don't like that he speaks. Spanish. Only Spanish. What percentage. of America speaks Spanish? He speaks. English. Yeah, like me. You're right. Bad English. Doesn't matter. 15% of the 14% of the 45 million people. speak Spanish. There a lot of people. will get it. >> Me and. >> I think I think Bad Bunny is the [ __ ]. >> Yeah. >> We should do a Bad Friends Spanish.

edition. >> and try to speak only in Spanish. Good. luck. >> Well, how do you say bad friends in. Spanish? Malos Manos Maros amigos. >> Maralos amigos. Hey, welcome to Marlo. amigos. >> Dude, that was one thing that Leo did. right in that movie was he got his he. got the Spanish right when he when he. was like vibing with those dudes. You. could tell he they loved him. >> Shia can do that too with the Mexicans. He vibes with them. >> Oh yeah, dude. Look at that. >> Yeah, because Shia But Shia's from from. where in LA. He's from Echo Park, right? >> Yeah, he can do that.

>> Leo, didn't Leo grow up a little bit. nicer? Los Fela's area. A. >> little bit nicer. Yeah, >> I I wish that we grew up like in LA. >> Not me. >> Why? >> I'd like being from Chicago. >> It would have been easier, I think, though. >> Well, for the business, >> I don't think so. >> But you watch a Charlie Sheen, right, documentary in Malibu when Sean Penn and. all those guys neighborhood kids were. making films. It they it started then. >> But that's a fantasy moment in time. In. the same way that like what are the. chances that. >> like the Will Ferrell class of SNL, it's.

like these are fantasy moments in time. These are in a fantasy moment. I didn't. have a fantasy moment. >> We're living in it right now. >> Oh, now. Yeah. >> We made bad friends together. This is. This is our This is our little fantasy. moment. >> Yeah. But you know, it'd be cool that. you're in an avocado field with young. Kiano Reeves. You know what I mean? >> What are you doing out there? >> What? Throwing avocados at each other. You mean. >> cut it out. >> Yeah. You like, "Cut it out, dude. >> Cut it out, bro.". >> Yeah. And uh Well, it was [ __ ] great. That was what a great throw, Bobby. >> You I mean, thank you, Keanu. I talk.

like that, too. He's I would probably. talk like that too, dude. >> Because Keano Ree would influence me. >> It's like, bro, dude, [ __ ] fantastic. You got an A in geometry, dude. >> Now you just sound like your brother. >> I know. That sounds like Stevie. >> Yeah, >> I think it influences you, right? So, it's like, you know, you you grew up. with Diero, right? >> Right. >> Diero. Hey, you're doing a little. >> Yeah. Yeah. Hey, you know, if you want. me to help you tutor in that biology. class, I think I I'll help you. >> I think you would have been in good.

fellas. Don't you think. >> that's really good? >> Yeah. >> I don't want to grow up in LA. You're. Don't you have to grow up in San Diego? >> I'm two time Nicki Bob. >> Two time Nicki Bob. >> Yeah. >> Two time Nicki Bob. >> I said Nikki Bob twice. Every time. Nikki Bob. That's why they call me two. time. >> Okay. >> What do you mean? >> No, I like it. Nikki Bob. >> Yeah. Nikki Bang. Nick Bob. >> Nick Bob. Nicki Bob. >> That's right. >> It's two times Nikki Bobs. You always. say everything twice. >> Yes. It's everything twice. Yeah. What's.

your name? >> Say it again. >> What's your name? What's your name? >> I'm Slippery Santines. >> Yeah. Do the slides. Do the slide. >> Cops never caught me. Slippery Santines. >> Yeah. >> As I sneak through. >> As he sneaks through. As he sneaks. through. >> It's actually pretty good. >> It's pretty good. Pretty good. Pretty good. >> You would have grown up in LA. Okay. You. would have grown up in Korea Town. Here's your life. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> You're working. You're [ __ ] busing at. at uh at Soul at Soul Park.

>> Yeah. >> You're busing tables. You're you're. still going to take your same route. You're going to get Mad TV. Like. nothing's going to change. >> Oh, you think that no matter where I. was, >> you were going to be always going to end. up here. >> Or you're going to be on a roof during. the riots. >> Yeah. I'm a rooftop Korean for sure. >> For 100%. And I'm at that Carl Jr. drive-thru. Like, what is going on? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> You would have been Bobby Lee no matter. where you were placed in the world. You. were born to be Bobby Lee. >> Yeah. you were going to be you. And. that's what we love about you. >> I said those fantas fantasies aren't. real. >> They're [ __ ] You're living a.

fantasy. You live a dream. We get to. talk to our fans and do stand up and. like this is the best dream. It's the. best dream we've ever lived. >> Yeah. >> I don't ever want to wake up. >> But it would be great. Like you're in. Echo Park. Like Shia is like, "Hey, let's go duck hunting.". >> He's going to be friends with you. >> You think you would have been his click? >> I think Shia would have liked me cuz he. liked me. Okay. >> He likes you now. >> All right. >> Chances of becoming famous are extremely. slim. Said is less than 0.01% of the. global population. >> And he's still not happy. He's still not. happy. The likely. >> I'm so happy and so grateful. >> You just wish you were from LA. >> No, but when you when you watch that. movie Charlie Sheen, it's just like it's.

what an exciting life. >> Yeah. >> You know, I mean, >> he lived under the guise of famous. parents. So, it it it like ushered him. into the world naturally. >> Yeah. >> Right. Like I told you that documentary, I love Better Bastards of Baseball. >> It's great. >> Better bastards of paper. >> There it is. There's Nikki two times. >> Rocket Money. Rocket Money is a personal. finance app that helps find and cancel. your unwanted subscriptions, monitors. your spending, and helps lower your. bills so you can grow your savings.

>> That's right. Look, we all have way too. many subscriptions. This is an old point. that we've made so many times on this. show. Bobby saved so much money by doing. this. And by the way, Rocket Money's 5. million members have saved a total of. 500 million in cancel subscriptions with. members saving up to $740 a year when. they use all the apps premium features. Get alerts if your bills increase in. price, if there's unusual activity in. your accounts, if you're close to going. over budget. >> Rocket Money will even try to negotiate. to lowers your bills for you. This app. automatically scans your bills to find. opportunities to save and then goes to. work to get you better deals. They even.

talk to customer service. You don't want. to talk to them. They're going to do it. for you. You do not have to. Bobby had. the dashboard. It laid out his total. financial picture. So, they include bill. due dates and paydays and it's easier to. digest that way the way they lay it out. Some of us are visual learners like Bob. and I. You can automatically create. custom budgets based on your past. spending. So, they're trying to help you. save your money. Stop wasting it. >> Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and. reach your financial goals faster with. RocketMoney. Go to. rocketmoney.com/badfriends. today. >> You heard it. That's. rockmoney.com/badfriends.

rocketmoney.com/badfriend. Shopify. Hey, if you're running a small business, you know, there's nothing small about. it. There's a lot going on. And as. business owners, we provide merch for. you guys. And uh the Shopify point of. sales system is unified command center. for your retail businesses. It brings. together instore and online operations. across up to a thousand locations. Imagine being able to guarantee that. shopping is always convenient. Endless. aisle, ship to customer, buy, online, pickup in store. All made simpler so.

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must if you're running a business. Bob, tell them how to get. >> We love Shopify and we've been using it. since our inception and we love it. Get. all the big stuff for your small. businesses right with Shopify. Sign up. for your $1 per month trial and start. selling today at shopify.com/badfriends. >> Go to shopify.com/badfriends. That's. shopify.com/badfriends. >> Oh, that I could be that for Halloween. >> Yes. >> Yeah, that's great. >> Shave my beard like that. Little go. Little uh Fu Manchu. >> Yeah. >> Where did the name Fu Manchu come from?

>> I don't know, man. Asia. >> It's a real guy. Is Fu Manchu a real. guy? >> It's a guy. Yeah. >> Come on. You don't know that to be a. fact. We're just guessing. The name Fu. Fu Manu Manchu was invented by British. author Arthur Wild, writing as sex roach. ror 1913, a series of novels about a. sinister Chinese villain Bobby Lee, becoming the embodiment of the yellow. peril Bobby Lee. Uh, the specific name. likely comes from the generic Chinese. surname Fu, historical ethnic group. Manchu, creating an exotic and threat. and and threatening identity for the.

character. So, is Fu Manu Manchu gonna. be X out of our vernacular now because. it's unpro? >> It's funny because people still call it. Fu Manchu. >> Like, isn't that called a Foo Manchu? What? >> Yeah, right. >> Those guys probably just aren't people. who would change how they talk. >> The character name originated from. Arthur Ward. >> I like yellow peril. >> Yellow peril is a great name for your. special. >> Yeah, >> the yellow peril. >> Yeah, that's good. >> When are you ready to tape? Are you. getting close? >> No. >> Come on. >> I'm not. >> You're not at all close. But when when.

um. what hoola goes it this is the amount of. time we expect. I'm like okay I got it. >> It's an hour right? >> No. >> What do they expect out of you? >> 40 minutes. >> You're doing just 40. >> I'm going to do more. But I mean that's. I mean that's the long I have 40. >> So then I'm like okay. >> You want to do the least possible. >> Yeah I'm doing least possible. >> Oh smart. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Bang for your buck. >> And then the next one is going to be. great cuz I I'll clean slate. I'm going. to walk on. I'm just going to figure it. out. >> I genuinely think you'll never do. another one. And I think one is good. >> No, I'm going to do another one. I have.

to. >> Why? >> Because there's no more personal things. I want to talk about about how I really. feel that I I don't do and I want to go. in. Why are you smirking? >> Because it's all like a pipe dream. because you were trying to show off for. Louis like, "Oh, after this special I. promise I'll really get into the depths. of comedy and you know.". >> Okay. You know, my whole life has been. this. >> I believe in you. >> No, this is what I'm being real. My. whole life has been you can't do it.

It's no no listen. >> My whole life has been this. >> Don't say me. >> You can't do it. It's not gonna happen. This and that. And I always do it and I. always prevail. >> and I can't wait. And then when that. happens, >> I would love that. >> I can look at you and go, "What's up?". >> I would love that. >> And then you're going to be like, "Well, I never said that." Right? And then. we're going to have another conflict. >> It's a you'll see moment. It's actually. just. >> you'll see is my the whole reason why I. am even where I'm at. >> It's a good thing to bring up. You'll. see. Cuz that was my favorite phrase. when we were in Australia. >> Bobby's the first thing out of his.

mouth. I'm going to be jacked. I'm going. to get so jacked. And I go and you'll. see. >> And I go, "No, you won't." You go, "You'll see.". >> Yeah. >> But we're we're past the year. You lost. the. >> It doesn't matter. The sea hasn't. happened. >> Okay. When the sea happens, you'll do it. >> when the tides change. >> All right. So, I I went to that [ __ ]. um um gym next to my house, Planet. Fitness. >> I I swear to God, I walked in there and. I and I go, "Can I join?" And they're. like, "Well, we need your bank account.". >> Why? I don't know why. I go I just have. a credit card and they say we don't do. it that way. We need your bank account. >> No, no, no, no.

>> That's what they said. >> I've never heard of that before in my. life. >> That's I've never heard that before in. my life, too. >> Bank account Equinox. What? >> Go to Equinox. >> So then what? I No, but there's too many. hot people there. >> What's wrong with that? >> Yeah. I don't want to be slothy in front. of those people. You know what I mean? >> Just get a personal trainer then. >> Yeah. So then I brought my friend Alex. over there. You know my friend Alex that. worked for me at Tiger. Yeah. >> And um I didn't know how any of the. machines worked either. >> Right. So once we go, we already went. once. He's gonna teach me how to those. machines you don't even know how to get. in them. It's like a pole away and you don't know.

how to put the stick in and I I don't. know what it works. >> It's like that Japanese game show where. they got to go through those cardboard. cutouts on the thing. >> That's what it's like. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. And then then every machine works. on one thing. Like I don't want this. muscle to be [ __ ] fit. >> This is a good muscle. >> Look at this. >> Yeah, I know. >> You don't want that? >> Yeah. But I don't want that. >> You don't want that? >> Yeah. Yeah. Or like you know my elbows. like gigantic and I'm like I did this. machine too long. All you really need to. do is like push-ups, sit-ups, and then, you know, some squatty stuff. >> No, but I want to learn how to do this. one. The butterfly one.

>> What the [ __ ] is that? >> There's one where there's sticks above. and you do this. >> Wait. >> Well, you do flies. >> Yeah. And then you do this one like. flies like this, right? >> I want to be able to do But even this. machine is different. >> The bench press. >> Yeah. >> Just get on a Just get. >> Go to Plant Fitness. It's evolved. >> Oh, they've changed. >> Yeah. I don't know what the machines do. Look at the machines that are [ __ ] so. complex. I sound like I'm the Kimmy. Schmidt who has like been buried for. like 50 years now. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Is he on all the machines? >> You see that machine right there? I. didn't sit on that. I went reverse and.

my knees were on that thing. Right. I. was staring backwards. >> It would be funny to see a Bobby Lee. workout video trying the machines for. the first time. >> Yeah. >> Like I don't know how to get into that. >> She's in it right now. Just like that. Squat. >> Well, now I know after seeing her. >> Squat and press. >> Yeah. >> So, you're not going to be going to. Planet Fit. Why don't you have someone. come to your house to train you from. your house? >> I don't have weights. >> You don't need much. You can do bands. You can do you can do exercise with so. little today. >> Yeah, maybe tomorrow night this I I just. decided. >> just now. >> No, I just literally decided because I. have I have my pod tomorrow at 4.

>> Mhm. >> And then Alex will be there afterwards. I'm going to give him a little money. >> Go right to the. >> and I'm go right to Planet Fitness. I'm. going to finish the training. >> I thought you couldn't get in without. your bank. >> No, you can do a day pass. So that's. what I'm going to do. >> I'm going to get two day passes. I'm. going to figure out how all the machines. work. >> I'll even video it. >> Okay. No, I'm being real. I want to do. it because I'm just I. >> I think my thinness isn't good. >> What do you What do you mean? >> I still look fat. >> What's the tone? >> You don't look fat. >> No, if you take my shirt off, it's not.

good. >> What do you mean? It's just It's just. lumpy. >> It's Andreas. Like I'm So No offense. >> We don't know what he looks like without. a shirt. >> I do. I do. No offense, dude. And none. taken. >> None taken. It's so much offense. He's. taking it. >> No. What I'm saying is that it's Can I. be honest with you? I'm a pork, too. Yeah. You're more like a FL. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm FL. >> You're like a FL. Yeah. What's dessert. name? If we're all desserts, >> he's Flan. What's What's Carlos?

>> What is it? >> He's like a churro. >> No, he's like a baguette. >> Oh, yeah. >> Yeah. >> A baguette. Yeah. >> For dessert. Yeah. You Nobody wants it. >> Nobody wants it. >> Um flaky and Yeah. >> You have a great body. >> It's fine. It's up and down. >> Yeah. But it's pretty good. You can see. the muscles. It can be if I. >> where they're supposed to be out with me. and Andreas. >> No, we don't know what muscles what. That's what I'm saying. >> I I. think he's a father now. He has less.

time to work out. >> Yeah. >> Dads have way less time. He's busy. He's. either editing, taking care of his kid, or editing. >> Dad bod. >> Dadbod life. And dude, his dude, the. chicks, especially in our age range, they love dad bods. >> They do. >> Yes, they [ __ ] do. M. >> you ask any girl of of a of an age. that's our range, right? I'm sure girls. in their like 20s don't like dad bods. They want young. But like 30s and up, those girls love dad bots. >> I'm doing it. I'm doing it. Oh, I can't. wait. I'm inspired today, dude. >> You are?

>> Oh, yeah. I'm doing it because you're. right. I did say that by now I would. >> Oh, yeah. >> And I didn't. >> Yeah. >> I did lose the weight. >> Yeah. Five weeks. >> No, I don't. Well, I'm going to start. tomorrow. What can I in five weeks? Do. you think if I start tomorrow in five. weeks, do you think you'll be able to. see see the difference? >> If you have to if you go every every. like other day. Yeah. >> Yeah. You would. >> you have to go like literally three four. days a week? >> Yeah. Yeah. >> You're going to do it? >> Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to do it. >> God, I think it's a great idea. I love. this. >> Yeah. Yeah. And that. >> Who are you doing it for, though? That's. the real question. >> What? >> Who are you doing it for?

>> Spite. >> No, I'm doing it because when I when. >> Cuz women find you attractive. >> Yeah. I get giggles when I walk into the. We spa steam room. >> From who? Little Asians. No. From all. the everybody. >> They give because they know who you are. I. >> I don't know if that's okay. In my mind, I think it's it. But it could be my. porgi Andreas like body. >> No. >> You know, he's going to go home and be. like, I'm going to quit the show. >> Join the gym. >> Yeah. >> You are Are you a member at a gym? >> No.

>> Yeah. >> Your wife is though? >> Yes. >> She's in Your wife's in phenomenal. shape. Mhm. >> She work she works full-time, is a. full-time mom, and still has time to go. work out. >> Damn, dude. >> God, did you get her? >> He's funny. Yeah, you're a funny guy. Sorry. You know what? I love you. You're. right. I see their skill set. >> Not taken. >> Yeah. Yeah. None taken. >> Taken. >> Hopefully not. >> None taken. He has to none taken. He's. building all this up to like shut us. down. >> Are you offended right now? >> No. >> I love you. >> Yeah. >> You know that.

>> Mhm. >> Yeah. Deeply. >> Mhm. >> Okay. >> Fans. >> Fancy. does not does not buy it. >> It's emotional abuse. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Is it emotional abuse? >> Yeah. I think if you were doing this to. like your partner, they could like. record it and like show all their. friends and they'd be mad at you, >> right? Like that like that Mel Gibson, you should just shut up and blow me. >> Andreas is going to have this on loop in. the courtroom. Pork, pork, pork. >> You know, I apologize, dude. >> I'll use a different reference next.

time. >> Okay. >> Yeah. >> I think it's just because he loves you. Yeah, >> we all are mean to each other because we. love each other. >> Thank you. >> That's the only reason we do it. >> That's the only reason. >> Have you ever hooked up in the movie. theater? >> No. Have you? >> Oh, yeah. >> Well, the movie's empty, right? >> No. People were there. >> You have to watch a bad movie, right? >> No. I've got I got a I got a hand tug. over over a coat. Underneath a coat. >> like Gremlins 5. Yeah. No one's in. there. Yeah. >> You couldn't [ __ ] It [ __ ] would be. impossible. >> I don't think so, dude. >> Where are you [ __ ] Unless no one's in. there. Like in Germany there's like on.

Pornhub videos of like Germans [ __ ]. >> that that's a that's a casted porno. It's not hidden camera. >> No, some it's like a real movie playing. in the background. >> Yeah, but Germans are [ __ ] lunatics. >> They're lunatics. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Will you [ __ ] me to see it? >> They created two girls one cup, bud. >> Oh yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. When when are they going to add. another cup? >> Yeah. >> They can't just share that one forever. >> Yeah. No, I got a I got a handy tug in a. movie theater. I thought that was kind. of tight. >> Was there a one girl one cup? I mean, why'd you go to the second movie first? >> Elevated, dude. Jump.

>> It went right to two. Do part one. Anyway, >> you know what that reminds me of? Every. time every time somebody brings up Two. Girls One Cup, I always think about Cake. Farts. Do you remember cake farts? Cake. farts are great. >> One of the best. >> That was when the internet was really. finding itself. >> Now it's just evil and [ __ ] dark and. sad and nasty. >> and you're like, "You want to see a guy. get killed live on Twitter?" Well, look, we're going to create our movie theater. of uh Indian uh corn and uh cave butter, >> native corn. >> and native corn. So, please come to our. new movie theater and it's called.

they're going to be called. >> fancy corn. What. >> the theater? >> What's the name of our theater chain? We're going to make a chain of theaters. >> Oh, yeah. >> You're good at naming things. >> Yeah. >> You've always been good. >> It's got to go. There's got to be a la. >> la. >> There's got to be Make it French. >> You know what I mean? >> La crochet. >> la crochet prefil. Yeah, that's what. it's called. >> The preferred crochet. >> The preferred crochet. Yeah, that's it. >> La prefer crochet. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> So, please come see the la crochet. >> Yeah. We'll have fancy native butter, not Indian. >> Sorry, I said ice. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We'll have cave butter.

cave butter. >> Well, all the fixings, right? No smart. water. You don't like that? >> It's [ __ ]. >> Yeah, it's [ __ ] Okay. And we'll. have filtered water. >> No charge. >> No charge. And you can pee at your seat. There's little toilets. >> Yeah. >> Thank you for being a bad friend. It's called Fire and Ice. >> What's up? >> What is it? >> It's a It's a move called Fire and Ice. >> Go on. >> You get like Mentos or like like some.

sort of like mouthwash. You make it. super like crisp and stuff and you go. down on them like a guy like a girl does. it to a guy. >> and then. >> What is this? Call her daddy now. What. show are we? >> Yeah. Yeah. Where's the fire part? >> The ice. It's like It's like. >> Oh, so it's ice and ice. >> It's ice and ice. >> The name is more just. >> Where's the fire come from? >> Yeah. Where's the fire? Super minty. >> The menthol the the menthol and mint. makes it hot. You. >> hot. Yeah, I got that wrong. But the ice.

is like just super intense and you go. back and forth between the two. >> one time in high school. This girl I was. >> wait Okay, >> go ahead. >> No, I mean just it doesn't make any. sense. >> Hit him. Go ahead. Hit him. >> Yeah. Yeah. I could be remembering the. escort ad. >> I think it's just called Ice. >> Sounds like ice and ice. >> Yeah. Yeah. The door [ __ ] flips open, right? There's guys with guns and stuff. >> Is that what it is? >> SHOW ME YOUR PAPERS. >> YAY. >> YEAH. >> You're just going down on ice agents. Ice and ice. >> Yeah. >> No, I promise. >> Have you ever had a bump blumpkin?

>> Oh, wait. What's that again? >> I don't know. >> It's where you get ahead when you're. taking a poop. >> That's right. >> Yeah. >> It's not That's not a good one. >> That's not a good one. >> It's not a good one at all. Yeah. >> I mean, >> what do you mean? What do you mean? >> No, it' be fun. >> Have you. >> I've never had it. That would be. >> kind of fun. >> Yeah. I I've never had one. >> A blunk? No. Not even close. [Music].