Yabba Dabba Dr. Phil | Ep 199 ft. Adam Ray | Bad Friends

happy New Year Thanksgiving no dude it's. just the New Year all right and welcome. to the we got tour dates welcome to the. we've got tour dates welcome to it we're. going to be in Atlantic City New Jersey. Salt Lake City Utah Tula California Reno. Nevada Sacramento Long Beach California. wi Ontario Canada Niagara Falls Canada. Tucson Ariz and we finished the tour 420. in Las Vegas I can't wait for that Las. go to badri pod.com for tickets badri. pod.com YouTube are bad friends who are.

these two idiots a white dude and an. Asian dude you two are. disgusting you two are something we're. bad. friends happy New Year year happy New. Year it's 2024 Happy New Year to all the. bad friends what a year we've had what a. year we've had a new year take that out. of your mouth why what did we learn over. the weekend we learned that Bobby and I. are both year of the pig if we want to. talk about our birth years yep he's a.

I'm gold Pig Golden Pig and I'm a water. Pig you're a water Pig yeah yeah I don't. know what a pig what does a pig sound. like in water huh hypot hypop hypop. that's actually very smart Rosia. Donald's a water pick too okay her birth. year oh okay yeah that makes sense no. she's a little water oh. yeah what rest rest in peace she's not. dead oh I know is she no but I saw her. they she was cool we're going to kill.

her you know on the show we say somebody. name oh sorry no no no I want her to. live you guys Happy New Year U. congratulations to everyone for. surviving over the year and let me say. something right now man what a beautiful. 2024 we got ahead of us we got some. stuff lined up yeah what are your. resolutions my resolutions. are to get off of um cholesterol. medication I want to get in good enough. heart health shape so I don't have to. take cholesterol medication that would. include not doing this podcast.

[Laughter]. anymore happy New Year guys uh what I. have no idea sorry excuse me can I help. you yeah oh this isn't the intervention. for uh the the [ __ ] the [ __ ] that guy. part I'm sorry my agent my agent told me. that uh I was doing a pod today and she.

said improvise as much as possible yeah. so I wanted to come in hot you know no. pun intended brought a nice coffee you. sure did but I also brought a a mindset. you Jeremiah Watkins the beginning what. that you came in too hot came in too hot. oh is he known for doing that yes well. way too hot is that what he's known for. Dr Phil do you want to put on your head. headphones that way you can hear us. always I want to hear and feel. everything you guys are doing because. I've been watching from afar and it's. nice to see it up close us headphones. there before Dr Phil Dr Phil can.

somebody help Dr Phil please well I do. think it's important for us to celebrate. what we've uh. created oh Bobby you can go first oh. yeah yeah we're 2024 is around the. corner what did 2023 bring to you and. then I'll get to you Andrew oh okay oh. well I just you know I you know my enemy. I said no to my enemy and I I put him on. in his tracks and that eneme is called. ice cream you're not going to stop. eating ice cream it's called My eneme is. called ice I thought you were going to.

say like Jackie Chan no not Jackie Chan. no man he's a good guy I'm a good guy. for sure but I still would love to see a. fight to the death yeah yeah Jackie Me. and Jackie yeah over a bowl of mint. chocolate chip uh well that's cool. congrats are you a are you really trying. to quit ice cream for real yeah you are. yeah because you know all my you know. what I'm going to do now uh oh I'm. sending gallons of McConnell's ice cream. to your front door for the next month. straight me yeah okay it's going to be. out there baby yeah he's it's just going. to melt out there cre a sticky River for.

sticky a little sticky River he he's. going to want to slide down in that. steep driveway and at the bottom of that. I'm going to put up one of those little. like Kitty pools it's just going to. slowly fill up with melted ice cream so. every time you back out of your car how. are you going to resist get out what. flavor if you get the flavor right then. maybe it's going to be bad buddy I'm. going to do all of them you're not going. to get one flavor it's going to be like. suicide from a fountain drink but let me. say something yeah I I've questioned our. friendship and I don't think you know me. a I don't think you know me so I want to.

ask you what kind of ice cream would I. be tempted to eat good question thank. you so so much doctor and if you get. that right dude we're besties if you get. it wrong we have a long way to go my. friend well no there should be a real. bet here if he gets it wrong something. have to happen to him like what I don't. know maybe gets punched in the taint Dr. Phil Dr Phil you're aggressive how you. solve [ __ ] on your show yeah no but I'm. not on my show any right you're on my. show correct so shut the [ __ ] up W how. does that feel Dr you know what it feels. can I be honest it feels.

good he likes to be talked to like that. I do some I I make my wife wear a mask. of me just to know what it's like to go. [ __ ]. myself wow wow wow so you were saying. about your favorite creamy what you tell. what your favorite kind of ice cream is. yeah do you know what it is yeah oh give. me okay go. ahead I bet I know well here is it well. here's the hard part that's why because. you're not no I know you well but you're.

not shy when it comes to Indulgence it's. not like one is your ultimate I know if. you I five that I like if you can name. one of the five well rocky road for sure. is one that's not my number one I know. that's it I know well then why did you. even I was going to say sugar-free Red. Bull they don't make make ice like that. attitude oh you're right we want that to. happen that's actually true yeah yeah we. want it to happen you're manifesting it. he is let me ask you something when you. moved out your house how come you. machine guns on the [ __ ] wall you see. that yeah yeah I mean you know do you.

see that his house was that his house. yeah look at Dr Phil's house online. what's the deal dude when you moved out. what was this about you just you just. load up AK what is that all about D well. to be fair I've never seen this picture. before but I will tell you this much I. have so many rooms in my house I've got. an arcade I've got a I've got a room. that's just filled with Beday so you. have one of those you have one of those. shitty days literally okay and you just. want to pop around to each [ __ ] hose. and let them just you know take you to. town but the Gun Room came into play.

when I saw um the new Grand Theft Auto. came out and then I had also seen a. mission impossible movie and had a. couple run-ins at the local Ride Aid. where I was like I wish I was packing so. um built a room hung up some memorabilia. uhhuh can you zoom in on that I mean. that's an Aston it's also in your dining. room look at the toys too yeah to the. left the my favorite part is all the uh. added on are you a big mirami fan oh. mirami miraoui. uh I uh what is it ter what terasu.

terasu no the origami origami so you've. got on wall from what we can see there's. a hand about five or six assault rifles. yeah imagine being an Uber eat driver. and getting my order wrong and still. having the nerve to show up imagine me. walking you into that room and going. maybe next time you don't forget the mac. salad you honestly would invite a new. bit guy into your house hey I'm trying. to play a cool in 20 no I didn't know. you were that kind of guy I'm realizing. how humble and cool you are yeah I mean. I try to relate it's you get to a. certain level and you guys are are are.

are in it right now you know where the. where the tide is changing you're. jumping out into the ocean with not just. a surfboard but a game plan uh what the. [ __ ] are you talking about I have no. idea what he's talking about Jess you. know you tell yeah he's saying you're. you're guys is famous Dr Phil level Fame. oh oh wow what's this relationship about. how do you know Dr pH I just watch a lot. Facebook yeah well I follow you on. Facebook you do you do I follow about 16. people on Facebook Dave koler yeah Jess. uhhuh.

um [ __ ] Tony robbins's uh course agent. let me guess um Tac Chopra Tac chra [ __ ]. yeah Gary ve Gary V Canon uh the. situation the situation yeah it got to. be the situation Um Papa John just. because I love a good racist rant from. time to time all right right I know I. know Mike Lindell boom what a funny guy. yeah he is hilarious hilarious yeah good. yeah and then is that all the people. that's there's three or four more in. there what about what about Marlo Cyrus.

the other Miley Cyrus's unknown sister. yep and then uh there's a guy that looks. like Billy Alish that works at Trader. Joe's oh William ish yep I know him and. then um uh Billy Billy Billy as we call. him and then um Billy Jo Armstrong from. Green Day there's a yep I follow him and. Billy Joel yep and then Billy Joel Billy. Joel the actual Billy Joel no there's a. an actor who plays Billy Joel yep he's a. stunt guy I guess sometimes Billy Joel. falls off stage from playing piano so. there's a guy that comes out and then.

Obama's fan page I follow oh good so cuz. if you didn't say that cuz all they were. all pretty much white they were all. white except for Indian. deepo yeah oh no he's white oh he is. pretty white very T very tan very that's. a Scooby-Doo. situation really you'll pull back did. you read his books Scooby-Doo No de. chra yeah yeah Scooby-Doo has a couple. what was it what's it R daa oh my God. wrong dog wrong dog oh what it the wrong. dog wrong dog.

wait what was I even doing I didn't know. see I started doing a Scooby-Doo but. then I forgot what you did Fred. Flint Fred Flint I forgot what he so. I oh my God there's not enough space in. my heart that is so bad that's my bit to. do what Raba daa Doo that's my bit I. stole your bit you don't rabaa Doo dude. that's. me you know what you sound like that's. not Scooby-Doo that's like Scooby-Doo's. is uh Nemesis raw dog oh oh a less.

popular cartoon for some reason yeah raw. dog can you imagine a true animated. series called raw dog oh my God it's. like a it's like a crime fighting Crim. solving dog and his arch nemesis is a. condom oh yeah just a big like a just a. big Dr condom just a Dr condom King. Koopa for Mario Brothers Dr condom yeah. yeah I'm going to cover you up. no yeah and raw dog's like I got to I'm. trying to I'm trying to [ __ ] [ __ ] up in.

this city wait wait Rod dog's not a dog. oh he is but he talks oh I didn't know. okay clearly yeah okay you just talked. yourself out of an EP. credit oh I'm sorry we were producing. this thing my bad hey you always got to. be thinking of [ __ ] I just F to excuse. me okay classic. coming scarier than that needed to be do. you know what that was Dr pH ghost. genuinely yeah we have a ghost yeah so.

there was a young small gentleman who. used to be on the show and he passed. away live in the studio he used to drink. wine often on here and he passed away in. the studio and that was a little ghost. of him trying to rest his little head on. one of those and popped it how big is. his [ __ ] head it's pretty tiny okay. you want to say anything to the. afterlife he's in the room right now. well I've read a bunch of things on how. to get rid of ghosts and I've they. actually say You're supposed to ask the. ghost if they know they're dead or not. which to me feels counterproductive hey. hey you guys are [ __ ] dead you know.

that and then they're like yeah but they. can't talk back cuz they are dead do you. get what I'm getting it no no absolutely. not I honestly don't okay well let me. let me just hey little boy uh your. balloon uh uh charade scared the [ __ ]. out of. me but I but I get it and I get what. you're doing and I get why you're doing. it but I I want to know if you could. come back here and and uh be back on the. show bad friends what would you do what. would you.

add my email is at Phil fill itup. aol.com yeah hey Phil fill it. up did I stutter you said at Phil oh at. Phil fill it up fill it up you talking. to like a gas station attendant it's hey. Phil fill it up Phil fill it up I got it. f i l l for fill it up or Phi Phi okay. okay so hold on one second one of my. first jobs was a let's be quiet and. let's see if he'll answer your question. love that ready be quiet go.

ahead why'd you look at me I thought I. had to do something no I thought I. thought I thought it was like your look. was like callback Loop no it was it was. it was perfect yes okay fancy would just. add in Doc's voice being like yeah Tino. oh in the background yeah yeah yeah yeah. that's good the rabaab is even better. RAB I'd love to be uh just a a fly on. the wall inside your brain is that. phrase was getting conu. yeah as you go I'm saying [ __ ] again or.

whatever the [ __ ] you said Jessie what. are your New Year's. resolutions honestly or funny no. honestly I sto smoking cigarettes okay. and then funny um probably smoke more. cigarettes smoke heroin oh I've never. done it but I'm a trumpet player and I. think it would Elevate me to the next. level now do is a trumpet known for. being like conducive for drug abuse hell. yeah you ever heard miles David come on. dude onth a. yeah but what was he sucking on sipping.

on sucking he's probably sucking too. he's on heroin he he did hookers yeah. this might be a good segue into the my. Hook movie I that's right I A Hook movie. it's pretty woman me [ __ ] nights oh I I. like to talk about my real addictions. no well can we get hold on do you really. think this is a very interesting. question do you think that the influence. of drugs.

elevated artists more than they would. have ever been without it the reason I. asked is because I saw a video an hour. ago of Bradley no's son performing and. he sounds exactly like him and I. literally was eating thinking I wonder. if this. kid sober is as talented as his dad was. I don't know Bradley noes uh Sublime. Sublime oh yeah yeah yeah well let me. ask you this could he imitate his dad if. his dad never did Drugs That's what I'm. saying so it is the drugs isn't it it is.

the drugs that's that's my point as I. kept eating being like it's got to be. the drugs yeah we should do some drugs. right now I am down I told you that I'm. down dude Jacob null is that his name. yeah there was a video that was viral on. the internet of him singing at a bar. somewhere and uh it sounded exactly like. dude it was like shocking how close it. was well weren't The Beatles All on. crystal myth no no you're thinking of. something I'm thinking of someone you're. thinking Twisted Sister there it is. yeah also a great band yeah yeah Twisted.

what was what was the Twisted Sister. song he had one good song right he he. sung uh Twisted Sister what's a big head. Twisted Sister All You Need Is Love no. no that's the beetle what the [ __ ] sorry. no no it was uh hold your hold my hand. no no um it was um what was it it was a. safety dance or no not saf what was the. Twisted Sister main song uh their number. one s girls rock the boys yeah girl come. on feel the. noise. Rock we get. wow why you do it like my mom where you.

guess you know it phonetically but. you're guessing yeah I don't know the. lyrics [ __ ]. us yeah you you are like what an Asian. kid does when a band comes to their you. know what I love is like Afghan I saw. this one Afghanistan guy or some some. guy that you know Middle Eastern guy no. and he was like singing a song an song. but he was just making up the lyrics But. he sounded oh I saw that guy on the. internet yeah I've SE I like when that. happens yeah because phonetically they. phonetically I don't know who said that. maybe I think I remember watching an. interview with uh what's the kid's name.

Brandon from Incubus he said it was wild. we would go to like Japan and they would. phonetically know word for word let me. make up a song with gibberish English. okay well what's you have to have a root. song and then do no I just make up a. song too okay great do. [Music]. it sit it down rolling around and G down. in the you sound like a deaf person. it's like a Jeff girl.

imitating try there's no way that singer. can hear properly well I tried I [ __ ]. it up turning up in my headphones that's. what that sound you try one you try one. that's hard um okay no English but it's. got to sound like English. G don't get. it got to. no good that was also de sounding I know.

they all sound I would love to hear a. hoodie in the Blowfish cover of that a. lot of hoody the Bulet songs kind of. sound like that yeah scar it almost. hoody sounds like hoodie hoodie hoodie. and um Red Hot Chili pebes no stone tble. Pilots could be kind of Spin Doctors. right in the. same all right Jess let's hear you do a. song that has no English on it no rhythm.

we've heard before no rhythm you've. heard before well we just did two songs. that you've never heard before you. didn't hear those Rhythm but I lock to. say yeah to. be oh I like that yeah very Pearl. Jammy very Pearl Jammy all right Dil. you're up. [Music]. chck.

Chicken Fun Fun Fun chicken whels are. fun Michael McDonald yeah oh I love me. Michel taking it to the streets taking. it to the streets that guy what was he. taking by the way I have no idea. probably some hookers who that was one. of my one of my audition one of my test. auditions for SNL was uh on the original. tape I Didn't Do It live was uh Michael. McDonald ordering at McDonald's very. funny do the BET can we hear it I'll.

have a number one without cheese please. didn't end up doing it. live but I put it on the original tape. because I thought it was ridiculously. stupid Michael McDonald ordering. McDonald's hold the pickles please hold. the pickles please hold the pickles. please that's a great bit Yeah well it. it did not they were like don't do that. live now did you did you purposely want. to sing because there's always a singer. on the show yeah no I just I just. thought it was a really I was high and I. thought. can I tell you a character I did for my.

my TV audition please I didn't know how. to do Impressions still don't I know. yeah we saw we saw your Scooby you. didn't though then too yeah do your. Scooby-Doo again Scooby Doo what that's. deaf de Scooby that's de Scooby hearing. impaired. scoobydoo. still Jo. scoob wait that de Shaggy yeah de Shaggy. yeah de Shaggy pretty good great R so so. they go they go we need three. Impressions from you and I was like I. don't know how to do it in my mind right.

so I I thought number one this is how. clever I am right I go I want to do. impressions of people that they don't. know what they sound like they're famous. smart yeah so I so I saw this interview. with Chia Yan fat he was on E and every. and I explained this to the producers. when I audition I go every three lines. he would change his position so he go. how you know how they over pronunciate. Chinese hello my name is chaon fat you. know what I mean and I would start like. this right and every every three lines I. would change but by the end of the. auditions I was on my head in the corner.

of the room backwards oh my God you mean. I did the interview like that and it. crushed but I I so I decided to just you. know figure out what the sketch was. right yeah and let that be the thing. that's going to be funny rather than the. impression smart thank you z z you guys. Zach is my favorite thing in the whole. world because you know I'm getting older. and I get little aches and pains you get. a lot of aches and and I go to Zach do. the app and I try to find the right. doctor. and it's the best they have reviews yeah.

you can find patient reviews real people. have reviewed these doctors I used doc. do for the first time when I moved to. the new neighborhood because I didn't. know where to get a doctor or who to. turn to and I asked a couple of friends. and to be quite honest I was like I'd. rather just do my own research on Zach. do you can find a book doctors and make. you feel comfortable and actually going. to listen to you and we're not talking. about a few talking tens of thousands of. doctors all with verified patient. reviews you can make sure that uh it's. all good before you go see your brand. new Doc yeah once you find a doc that. you want you can book them immediately.

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book a top rated doctor today that's. Zach do.com zocdoc.com badri zach.com. rocket. money you guys you know I have so many. subscriptions too many that I don't even. I'm not even aware of right from games. to to to streaming services like but my. point is is that you have so much so um. if I asked you how many subscriptions. you have would would you be able to list. them all and how much you paid no chance.

if you asked me this question before I. started using rocket money I would have. have to say yes but let me tell you I. would have been so wrong I can't believe. how many I had all that money I was. wasting all that money you were wasting. and here's the here's the deal finally. through rocket money is able to save a. pretty fair amount of money their. average they save is $720 a year that's. remarkable how many people are wasting. money on stuff that they'll never need. or never use and I've signed up for many. many apps that thankfully rocket money. said are you still using this and I was.

like I don't even know what that is it. was like a sneak it was like a sneaker. club that I no idea confusing rocket. money is a personal finance app that. finds and cancels your unwanted. subscriptions monitors your spending and. helps lower your bills rocket money has. over 5 million users and has helped save. its members an average of $720 a year. with over 500 million and canceled. subscriptions that's amazing stop. wasting money on things you don't use. cancel your own wanted subscription by. going to Rocket money.com bfri that's.

rocket money.com bfri rocket. money.com then you did Connie Chung I. didn't audition with they made me did. you ever meet her in real life Dr Phil. oh I've met uh Connie Chung and Michael. Chang the tennis player yeah yeah every. sort of Chun chain combination I've met. maybe all the Chinese people you've met. okay okay boy what are we 20 minutes in. I thought you were going to ask me that. from the. GetGo uh Michael changen check Jackie. Chan check yeah Jet Lee.

chck um who was the other one I said. Connie Chung yeah yeah and then Connie. had a whole family with her so met all. them mild ch ch ch yeah yeah one of the. most underestimated of the CH family. yeah um boy Ariana y Ariana Chong Ariana. Grande no Chong her last name is Chong. yeah oh it is yeah oh I did yep you got. you don't spend a lot of time online do. you uh there's also [ __ ] help me out. Andrew uh won't do it okay do it fair.

enough and then I well oh no then the. guy from um from Teenage Mutant Ninja. Turtles to secret of the used Splinter. he played Kino Splinter Lee remember the. guy well Splinter Lee yeah but then Kino. remember the pizza delivery guy oh yeah. Kino yeah Kino I think he was in three. ninjas he was in three ninjas how about. the guy that how about the guy Rufio. Rufio oh yeah yeah James C and Lee from. Heroes what about what about few what. about the guy in L Liu Kang in the in.

the action series Mortal Kombat yeah Liu. Kang you met him that might be the one. that I've yet to get a face to face with. Chung Lee you know Chung Lee from The. Street Fighter yeah oh yeah and I [ __ ]. a couple Chung Le in my day H really. well this is college preol you know. where' you go to school tlane you went. to two lane University I'm pretty sure. yeah okay well what' you study there uh. biochemistry really minor let's go to go. to your Wikipedia page to find out how.

much you know about well it's not up to. date but but the um I did uh well let's. click let's hold on one second let's. let's get this uh and by biochemist I. meant like you know radio and television. uh no Communications there you are dude. what a nice photo so zoom in please on. college career go to college Bor old go. I think it was Missouri State I tried to. get into but they you know the program. there the Mississippi State Midwestern. is where I end going that you went to. shaie Mission North High in Overland. Park then you played linebacker high. school that's correct you went to.

University of Tulsa you were in a. football scholarship you you failed to. mention that Tulsa two lane you know. tomato tomato R off not even close then. say you transfer to Midwestern State. University in witw Falls Texas that I. remember you do look when you do so much. cool [ __ ] yeah right you just forget. what did Jay-Z say like some you know I. got two for my pimps and six for my hose. or something didn't say that well Andrew. you get it I mean like you probably. don't even think about uh when you were. on the office because you've done so. much cool [ __ ] S no I think about it I. [ __ ] that up pretty bad well that was.

one of my favorite episodes really Dr. Phil well just cuz I've always wanted to. get on a boat and travel the world and. I've never done it and that episode if. we can cut to it was there was we can't. I'll explain it there was you on a boat. Ed Helms was taking off for Florida I. believe and you were giving them the. boat and you had a sweater a boat. sweater that's right and uh and I just. got real jealous because I've always. want to hop on a boat Dr Phil you can. afford to be on a boat I think you're. very well off yeah but not the type that. like that Ed Helms was in the office. like a little Fisherman's Boat oh I.

can't afford that well look at this that. the internet says your net worth is $460. million a lot of boats it's a bit low. yeah if I buy you a boat is that weird. literally a boatload of money let's go. we'll let it in some. laughter pH you've accumulated an absurd. amount of money what have you what are. you doing for your. community I was told there'd be no. charitable uh question inquiries but. I'll tell you there's an orphanage.

called Loving Hands that I just donated. uh some some funds to really is that the. Catholic priesthood what is that no it's. a you know kids that are uh tossed to. the side or babies that are born but you. know the parents are like you know we. got to go to Denny's we can't be a dad. so they drop the kid off and then Loving. Hands picks him up okay I want I. actually want to approach something real. fast with this guy we there's some. controversy that we want to go over. right now if you don't mind Dr Phil sure. in February of last year dozen current. Informer employees of your show alleged.

that they had experienced verbal abuse. in a workplace that Fosters fear. intimidation and racism seven employees. currently still claim that the show. guests often manipulated and were. treated unethically attorneys for for. you Dr Phil and your co-producer Carla. pingon they categorically denied every. allegation however I feel like you've. had some hush money paid out well I. prepared a statement oh thank. you uh in response to the recent. allegations uh i' just like to say.

uh and you sound like a bunch of [ __ ]. ass losers wow wow you wrote that down. well I tped it okay yeah uh now can I. also ask you in 2016 you and your wife. filed a $250 million defamation lost. they lost you yeah yeah so and what. ended up happening with that I mean you. know you've been to court no you ever. seen a mirase traffic court bit yeah. such a good bit one of my favorite bits. about. traffic I think that that that day was. just see Amir k no I said Circle K the.

gas station what are you doing your deaf. comic bit again oh my god dude this. guy's ripping you you need to take a. time out I apologize hey can I be honest. I drink a Four Loco in the. car wow that was like that really pissed. me off real dude you know you know what. I feel like I feel like trying to come. hard in the pain at a diner and you're. just not having it cuz you're buying. we're going to blank that name out by. way yeah.

yeah um can't be just okay let's move on. so so court but Amir K the court bit I. love the court bit but what I hate about. court is that you're there for something. important and I didn't want to be so. Andrew that sorry dude that lawsuit was. a real pain in my too okay so you know. what I don't want to bring that up. anymore I apologize but I will say you. you made bad baby famous right that's. like on not on purpose either but it was. inevitable certain people have Stark. quality jety let's yeah let's talk about. it to my right there's a there's a star.

shining and you can see it and you. understand it and you want it to shine. bad baby no one had any intention of. seeing her fly uh up into the sky and I. apologize for rhyming so quickly but I. just I think that what she's doing is uh. impressive and it's uh I stand by the. choices she made yeah she came on my. show and I'll be honest with you Andrew. and Bobby when she first opened her. mouth all I could think in my head was. shut your [ __ ] dumb mouth you stinky. [ __ ] who but then that's a little.

aggressive Dr Phil oh but then she spoke. and I go I get it you knew right away I. could tell you could tell cuz the the. attitude was real and the character was. relatable kind of like Theo. Von we'll blink we'll blur that name no. no we don't have to blur. that we'll just how about we blank off. the Theo and see if people can guess. what V we're talking about I bet they. will can we switch a little bit I want. to ask about your show real quick please. may I yeah please you guys were a guest. and and phenomenal appreciate you okay.

anyway. um a lot of times I see on your show you. have people with phobias what's the. craziest phobia you saw in your show. very good well Arachnophobia is a big. one fear of spiders spiders that's not. that's not really a big one yeah yeah. I've seen like cucumbers people are. afraid of cucumbers well let me finish. in the Jewish Community yeah careful Dr. Phil when you say spiders wait when you. say spiders do you mean. Hamas is that what you're talking about. well now that we're here yeah oh wow so.

so let me just back that up okay and put. it in reverse you could keep that in. because it's I'm not saying okay yeah oh. yeah no we're keeping it in my lawyers. already drafted up a whole thing about. this yeah yeah yeah I the the the. biggest phobia I saw was the fear of. public speaking okay I get that but the. biggest fear yeah was fear of sexual. intimacy okay and and and still not. weird but well I've seen other shows. seen people okay okay let me finish with.

hermaphrodites oh so hermafrodit. intimacy who's playing Coachella I think. next year no no second night this year. second night second night they're doing. the hologram thing t with Tupac uh fear. of fear of just sexual touching and then. fear of um gas stations you ever seen. Strange Addiction on A&E yeah where like. a girl be like I can't start my day. unless I eat a bar of soap and you're. like well I feel bad for you but also. gross gross yeah so we just try to deal.

with it as it comes but phobias are uh. everyone's got a phobia of something. what's your phobia. Phil. well ghosts who pop balloons unexpected. big fear um I heard you say black people. yeah but that was a. joke okay okay yeah I mean you know. what's your real fear Dr Phil I want to. break you down what is genuinely the. thing that that that shakes you really. gets under your skin you ever playing a.

pickup game at 24-Hour. Fitness basketball yeah oh yeah and. someone's uh you know talking a little. bit too much [ __ ] and they can't back it. up so you dig deep right you stretch a. little bit extra and you uh you throw a. couple bows you drop a little Charles. Oakley on them mhm but sometimes that. doesn't go your way and they ban you. from that 24-Hour Fitness that's your. fear well I'm getting to it my fear is. not being able to control my anger oh. okay against certain kinds of people. that's not what I'm saying well it did.

sound like it well okay look most of the. pickup games are uh featuring list and. wide characters yeah Dr Phil you can. just say I'm racist say that I won't say. it you won't okay I won't say it because. Oprah will be mad oh I've been with. everybody and I think once you. experience everybody you get to know. truly that this country is made up of a. of a cool species of. people what I'm listening actively let. me ask. I want to see if you're were the real Dr. Phil um there was a comedian that taught.

you how to play tennis yeah who was that. comedian's name taught him is that true. oh Kirk Fox yeah want to see my Kirk Fox. impression. yeah that's really good you do know him. very good very good you do know well. we're all just doing. it e took us took it again very good. what Mitch he wanted so you know but I. don't do. Impressions actively seems like you do. yeah we I taught Kirk tennis he's got a. good good forehand backhand could use.

some work you taught him tennis oh yeah. I thought he taught you know he was like. a professional going around telling. everybody that he taught me let's okay. and I don't want to say I write a lot of. his material because I don't but I have. influenced some punch lines wow you guys. know what it's like when you're hanging. out busting balls someone says something. funny and they go you going to use that. you do that with him I don't have to but. I do it what's Dr Phil's favorite meal. swimming M after breakfast cuz it.

challenges my body to step up uh right. breakfast you don't have a great body Dr. F it's not where I want it to be but. 2024 is coming up and I'm looking to I. don't know get a stair stepper or a a. trainer OIC oh you're going to get on. the Oz is that what the kids are calling. it it's yeah and you should know that. for your show yeah I'd suck on Dorothy's. titties CU your friend your friend well. I I can take you down that yellow brick. road your friend Oprah revealed. she was on toic yeah what now is this.

why you got influenced to do it because. the Big O did it well I prepared a. statement. [Laughter]. oh so Oprah as you said recently on the. uh on the Oz is that all written on one. paper or is this a yeah I prepared a lot. of statements all right uh it's a size. eight Courier. new you're a courier new guy yeah I look. at you I think I think wingdings all day. now which one is that again cuz it's. been a minute since I've paper it's all. the simple that's great that's wingdings.

that's a Dr Phil get it together bud. right. so a lot of heat is coming towards my. pal Oprah they go hey you were bigger. and now you're not what' you do well in. her defense you know food has been an. issue for quite some time as it has been. for me as well one night in particular I. think it was 1996 and I just uh gotten. some sort of an award and we were. getting little Stony blone and dipping. gushers into Cool Whip I digress but I.

think that that night told us a lot. about ourselves that we we have a sugar. addiction so leave her leave leave her. the [ __ ]. alone wow I'm glad you write this stuff. down yeah there we are toasting I think. that's when I I think I just I don't. know dyed my pubes or something what we. no she was to oh that was when the the. book came out I will say that's a very. relatable thing to drink cryistal I. think most Americans oh that picture was. not staged I would say most Americans.

want to see you in a in lubaton shoes. cheers and chrisal you want to get back. to your roots you want to relate to the. people you got to wear $5,000 shoes. drinking drinking $2,000 champ we're of. the people Dr Phil we're people people. it's a good Oprah we're people people. yeah she says that a lot we're people're. people people well I love the Big O. because she's Chicago she represents my. city I love that now was she going to. taping seems like almost like a Mad TV. taping from the 90s energy I was on that.

show I know that's why I brought it up I. know yeah let's not go back to it yeah. yeah not bring enough big fan I went to. Jerry Springer when I was in high school. did you really yeah that's awesome on. senior ditch day are you [ __ ] kidding. me I swear to God on senior that's where. we went that's we went to Jerry Springer. downtown um a he was a legend and B the. audience must have been banana City. we'll be right. back keep her right here no yeah I went. to Jerry Springer I just I don't know. why we haven't talked about this from my. senior ditch day I didn't know that it.

was [ __ ] the most fun I think I've. ever had was there violence that day you. I bet you can guess the category of what. it was that day baby's mama baby's mama. was the first one what do you think the. second one was animal attack videos no. but that's very good I wish we got an. animal so baby's mama and then um who's. the daddy who's the daddy oh who the. daddy that's the category was called the. baby mama that was the first one what's. the second one called um was it. rebellious kid no not rebellious teen. those are my those are great when they.

get scared straight you see the one. where the guy's like you [ __ ] you and. then the kids's like he's like what. where's your dad and he's. like and he's like you want me to be. your dad and then the kid's. like I've never seen that one oh it's. [ __ ]. sad I like it when the kids though. double down I love that you mean [ __ ]. you [ __ ] yeah I love that you you got. to go you don't tell me what to do and. then they never get out of the house. they win and I love it then sometimes. they send him to Scared Straight.

remember that TV show where they put him. in a prison they I did went to one you. went to scared straight no mine was in. the forest are you serious scared gay. what was that no no mine was um come. here behind this tree no mine was you. have to walk from. Mammoth to Yus and back you did not do. that I did you did not do no way you. completed that task I did walk from it. was 12 rebellious kids I did it my I did. it my junior sophomore year in high. school you walked from man. it not in a day like it took weeks and.

weeks where did you stay at night in a. tent you did this yes how the [ __ ] have. we never talked about this why is that. something I want to talk about I want to. talk about it I was always the last guy. I remember go catch up Lee dude that. entire walk would take how long did it. say 14 hours 14 [ __ ] hours you it. took weeks how what did you guys go. they're in back or something would you. do a mile a day no we would camp and he. was talk talk to us about rocks okay. this sounds made up did you did you. learn did you learn anything no but I.

remember sound but I did but I won the. talent show what was the talent I sang a. song called Ed Ain sing it right now I. don't remember the song but I made up a. song I go. Ed do you know what I mean something. like that are you serious yeah and all. the guys were like yeah no one knew who. I didn't know who he was that one it w. it did no one else do anything yeah hey. [ __ ] you dude no I mean that's [ __ ] you. very talented that's not it yes it is it.

no that's not good I performed it. somebody must have done something mean I. went out there I did it dude did you. give a pube shot no back then you. couldn't do that why it was against the. rules but you walk from your and I. remember jumping in a lake through on a. cliff what lake I don't remember well. zoom in there's one right there I mean. I'm and I I'm going to say this too I. have photos to prove it at home next. week you're bringing them in I will have. photos to prove it Lake Grant Lake would. have been the one Grant L jumped in yeah. how was it I remember being cold but I.

remember doing it and I remember being. proud of myself did nobody else do it. everyone did it we were all meth kids. right wow so so the great meth hike from. y yeah by the way a real meth head would. have done it in a day but it was like a. Scared Straight kind of a program like. and I came back I remember going yeah. I'm going to do more. meth it didn't work yeah it's almost. like when the DARE officer tells the. kids about drugs and he just gets them. fired up to taste them yeah they bring. in bongs I thought that was so funny.

they were like blow the smoke in your. face use these and you would absolutely. want to use that they show how fun it is. to take a bong rip you're like Dr you. smoke pot oh all the time all day every. day Snoop style blue hey guys I'm a. 50-year-old man 52y old man and I like. to go out and I like to smash and guys I. have some problems down below and I. guess guess what I've been using I've. been using blueo it's been the saving my. life Blu is a unique online service that. delivers the same active ingredients as. Viagra Calis and VRA but in chewable. tablets and at a fraction of theost.

delici it's pretty impressive tell them. about what you do when you get yourself. some blue chew I Chew Chew Chew Chew. right and I wait a wait a little couple. seconds and theno choo and then it's. Cho a train to Pound Town my friend you. think squirt squirt squirt it works it. works it works it's so simple sign up at. blue.com consult with one of their. licensed medical providers once you're. approved you're going to receive a. prescription within days it's all done. online okay don't got to go to the. doctor's office don't got to see that. guy from work waiting in there being. like what are you here for none of your. business Mark okay blue wants to help.

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important safety information and we. thank blue for sponsoring the podcast I. think that there is uh something about. your journey though that I I dig what. well I went to another rehab in. Oceanside I met this. girl right and this is why I relapsed I. tell you how no I relapsed so I met this. girl at rehab and remember she lived in. Vista right and we were like going we're. about to go to a a meeting and she goes. let me try something on you and I go. okay and she put her my body in between.

her legs and she squeezed what came out. of you nothing not toothpaste no nothing. dude yeah yeah you like red bean paste. red bean paste oh W uh no nothing and no. that's not what it was then I go let me. cuz I was on the wrestling team so I go. let me try she goes okay and I locked it. in and I squeezed and she almost died. you almost killed she couldn't breathe. so then you did heroin again no and then. she would I remember her crying go why. could you do it so hard she had done it.

to me and then I went on. [Music]. relapse do you. [Music]. know [ __ ] winner of all talent shows. my friend yeah you are there had to be. somebody else competing against you in. that talent show like did anybody do. like a Michael Clark Duncan or a Terry. shab that wasn't around in the 80s [ __ ]. face right Impressions Wen no Michael. Clark Duncan oh right I did a movie with. him my very first movie what was it. called it was called um um um.

underground. comedy movie [ __ ] yeah so underground so. underground dude put Bobby Lee. underground comedy movie right there oh. the Shamwell guy was in it no he was the. main guy so put Bobby Lee in there. you'll see what I did I play the most. racist [ __ ] part watch am I in there. no they cut you out of the poster yeah. they probably cut me out anyway I was in. that Dr Phil there's a lot of non Ians. that are going to be in this year's. Netflix as a joke Festival I've been. seeing online are you going to make an.

appearance byy chance um I think so I. think we locked in a show for May the 6. wow are you in one no I wasn't am either. no I'm not in one I did see Tom Brady is. doing it which uh of course that makes a. lot of makes perfect sense because when. I think of Comedy especially Sushi mama. your name was Sushi mama oh my God. that's incredible we're buying that. shirt yeah yeah look at that shirt dude. it's in stock that's awesomei it's in. stock no [ __ ]. [Laughter].

$220 buy it please no [ __ ] go buy it I'm. I'm buy I'm buying one in fact I'll I'll. if you want I'll buy one for you give Dr. Dr Phil give him your credit card he's. gonna buy it right now yep we'll do it. later we could do it later we could do. it later we you know the first time I've. taken my wallet out I just figured 460. million he can that's not a big deal for. him dude that is [ __ ] wild to that. doc Sushi mama is definitely a band you. think it is sushi Mama yeah yeah we. should start a band called surf Rock yes.

yeah D was that like a hidden gem. character you know what I'm saying like. like a fan favorite no they what they. did was I remember I was character I was. in I was at the L uh La Hoya comedy. storees in the open mic shout out and. [ __ ] sham W guy comes up to me Vince. yep and what'd he say he goes you I'm. the Sham W guy Jesus and it was like the. first celebr I ever met y so I froze. yeah I missed that spiky hair that's. when I first got wind of you really in. the day oh yeah that's you got those. head shot with the spiky air in the. Hawaiian shirt yeah yeah dog I bought.

that same shirt just cuz I loved that. head shot so much okay good I'm a big. fan of a big fan of yours too well my. head shots are boring though I just I'm. just you I'm just KK foxing up ph's head. shots I want to see if some of your good. head shots are they're all normal you. know. you're look I'll go through the faces. ready yeah this is me being like okay. what's that face who touched. you oh that's it yeah what's his face. what's this one I touch I touched you I. I touched.

that's you can make my mustache fall off. Bobby all right let's all let's take. turns so then Jess you do the next one a. fun game this a fun game what the next. one I just farted yes it is very good. yep let's see no for real I did just. fart yeah now now my question is where. do you think I farted it oh oh like what. room oh Oh I thought you meant guess the. fart I know this one I know this one I. farted too much no [ __ ] I farted too. much there's a little p go to that's a. face of a guy who's about to [ __ ] his. pants on the 405 yeah yeah yeah no and.

this one oh what's this one oh that. one's I'm about to fart I'm about to. fart about to fart they're all pre- and. post. fart and that one is you know what I did. oh you know what I did that's what my. dog looks. like you know what that is that's when. that's when I'm I'm driving to the Laker. game yeah and you're in shotgun and I. get out first after I've let one rip and. I get out and I look at the valet guy. and I go. keep that photo keep can you do that.

what that. face well now seeing it from your. Vantage Point this is terrifying let me. see I. again somehow you always go crosseyed it. is a little what I am a little [ __ ] ey. if it's your eyes but you go cross-eyed. when you do faces like that that's so. [ __ ] racist it's not it's do it big. you go crossy yeah you do yeah the right. one's in I have that head shot. too whoa dude I don't think you guys. were made to IM. itate like the machine M let me see if I.

can't can't let me see if I can keep. them straight I'll do the noise I'll do. the noise of your you're doing it again. it's better though that's better creepy. though oh hurts so bad though but. they're moving so much yeah I'm. controlling it Asian eyes are not. supposed to do facial expr yeah yeah. right because like look at this like. like your mom like this if I say to your. mom somebody died her facial expression. would be. what okay. okay I don't know what camera play I. don't know what going on she would have. no expression oh she would she go okay.

okay ready somebody. died uh I just got a big. promotion that's what you're saying Mom. I'm. gay uh that's great do you think when. the two bombs dropped there was facial. expens probably no they were. just oh my. God atomic bomb yep yeah can you imagine. that's right in Godzilla minus one I saw. them running they're like wait a minute.

Godzilla what do you think's scarier. Godzilla or a. bomb Godzilla with a bomb Godzilla is a. bomb because in about watching Godzilla. bomb at the haha wow he's his new [ __ ]. is pretty good it's but yeah can you. imagine we got earthquake what if a. comedian came out and was like my name's. Godzilla could you do that well more. elements would be if we had another. comedian that was like tornado well we. had China man oh yeah who's that Mark. Brittain his name was was [ __ ] yeah. so years ago I was in Texas does this.

story get better yeah it. does it does so I was in so Mark Britton. what was his name chinan oh I remember. this guy yeah yeah yeah his name was. chinan yeah that's him he's half asian. his name was Mark Britain can we get. this guy on the show can I say something. let me say something about Mark please. okay he taught Pablo Francisco how to do. Impressions no way yes this guy is the. best Impressions you'll ever seen the. movie trailer voice is probably from him. right number two right he's a he would. sell out every [ __ ] show in Texas.

sure I don't doubt it and number three. he came up to me once and he goes um. yeah man I don't know I can't make you. know get anything going in Hollywood and. I go maybe because your name is. [ __ ] what is the name of his album. cuz you know he now he changed his name. to guess what his name is kidwalk. kidwalk wait look at his website no. you're kidding I. www.of funny.com is where you find his. work that's a very funny website miso. miso funny very good kid walk yeah kid.

walk funny but China man was and he. would sell it so you know but he wasn't. even full Asian that was what's crazy. well but half he used to get the hottest. chicks too back in the 90s do you think. it was the goatee or one of them at. least but he's so funny this guy I once. uh I once two girls in San Jose that had. been with poly Shore they had nothing. but great things to say yeah and I got. to be honest I was a little jealous of. the girls or ply maybe a little bit of. both yeah cuz I've never hooked up with. a celebrity you are a celebrity have you.

ever jerked off today have you jerked. off I mean I don't like to say it's a. problem but it's not an issue do you. need to tell us. something all right I jerk off a lot I. don't know what's it what do you jerk. off too music oh oh can we guess wow can. we guess the band sure I got no shank. it's classical no sometimes but not. usually Mega Death yep that's what you.

jerk off to okay don't act so surprised. no we're not it's fine it's cool yeah. it's I don't know it's it's the contrast. some people like a little bit of lotion. I'm more of a soap guy I thought you. were Bruce. Hornsby that's just the way it is yes. where's that guy love that song though. love it just the way it what was the. lyrics in the beginning staying in town. time right in for the mar yeah some sad. [ __ ] like working class work [ __ ] and. then just the way it is I think it was. like yeah wait like 9 to5 abortion time.

or something like 9 to5 abortion time. but he played the piano with such uh. your dad just died just died it got dark. real quick yeah it got real quick that's. just and then that's just the way the. way it is and then you you're listening. going guess it is the way it is it is. the way it is I guess I have to suck it. up yeah and then the sweet piano would. make you forget about your. shitty life is the way it. is I guess I can get a job right you. can't you know another song that Fast. Car by [ __ ] what's her name Tupac.

then used that song by the way and made. it amazing What fast car no that's the. way it is oh it is yeah fast car is. another depressing song from Tracy you. got a fast car oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] that was. oh [ __ ] bro bro you just hit my [ __ ]. heart this night you you know what. jacking off to tonight yeah wow yo. you're two for two and I might be going. on tour or so what's that song about. fascar about it's it's about her dad dad. something right it's uh her dad has. diabetes or something yeah he's uh.

legless legless yeah where's she going. to in that fast car she wants to go. somewhere with her man a combination KFC. Taco Bell whoa yeah you got a fast car. we got to go to KFC and you want Taco. Bell yeah I want my BH potatoes and. a see. [Music]. go there it is okay I once stayed at the. Taco Bell hotel that's not something I. tell everybody but how was the Taco Bell.

Hotel diarrhea City really everyone was. [ __ ] themselves yeah I had so my. stand I had a standup joke about Taco. Bell KFC okay you just did the punch. line though what was it it's hard to. decide when you go to those things like. how bad do I want my diarrhea oh funny. you can have it NOP I already did it. well you know I've been doing that was. in the '90s well I shot a special on. Vimeo you know did you really yeah yeah. yeah but it's you know I'll send you the. link but it ain't it's not worth. watching twice.

anyway yeah KFC and Taco Bell what a. combination what other combinations do. you wish were out there oh really that's. nice what do you wish what what how. about just like two okay so about this. yeah Tommy burger okay Jamba Juice yikes. that's really good why why would I say. that because I Tom always [ __ ] up your. stomach yeah with the chili yeah you. know what I mean but then you're like oh. I'll have some weak grass. level you up level me like a little. ginger shot yeah yeah like ginger shot.

empty everything. for yeah yeah what is another good. combination what's a good combination. In-N-Out and orange julius pretty good. well the In-N-Out Burgers you know going. to treat you right Dairy Queen style but. also you know hot eats cool treats are. coming up inside you drop down a nice. little Julius on top okay good very good. circle gets Square I get I get it Circle. get but I think that yeah it's a sweet. it's a sweet on sweet that I like J I'd. probably do like a Jack In The Box with.

a CVS ooh very smart just cuz I get like. so much from Jack In The Box I can't I. can't help myself cuz I'll get the tacos. the jalapeno poppers the souro Jack. anegg roll sometimes an egg R too maybe. a chicken teriyaki bull if you're. getting frisky I've never got they have. that at Jack they have everything at. they and they have everything at CVS to. cure everything that you get and more. beverages too you can get a gatorade. zero to C. yeah and you guys ever like on your. period and then you have to get fast. food and then you have to like go to the.

I know what that's like I know what. that's like get I would want to. combine. um Firehouse Subs oh good [ __ ] call. you know Firehouse Subs like them yeah. Firehouse Subs and. A Auto Zone why why I've been I have to. change my [ __ ] oil and I just can't. get there but if you put it near in. aomin. I'm going to ech but how often caning to.

Auto to my o that's nuts I need oil in. my car haven't been there it's been. beeping at me for a month and a half put. them together I'll [ __ ] do let me get. a [ __ ] turkey avocado I'll get some. oil then that's a really good idea cuz. AutoZone doesn't have snacks no there's. no snacks there but they have a lot of. things that you need for your vehicle. but not for your vehicle thank you we'll. be right back you yeah oh okay I was I. pointed at you to do it we're going to. keep it right here cuz I do have. something to say about that bless you is.

that chickenpox or monkey pox well I. don't know you're the. doctor I have a statement. [Laughter]. prepared Jess your sarcasm's been an. issue lately sarcasm mhm sharkasm. sharkasm oh sharkasm it's when you're. like I didn't Sho my pants but you did. yeah you did you know what you did and. who you are Bobby what's in that pen oh. no he's gonna have an intervention on. you right now no judgment yeah just.

curious what's in the pen it's um it's. called a jewel and it's. uh it's like a tobacco flavored uh V. Vape all good all good what flavor is it. I just tobacco like a strawberry or a. cheesecake said Tobacco Man okay and. when you suck on it okay where are you. going where we going dude you need it. huh I don't need it okay yeah okay. cuz I don't need.

this interesting approach Dr pH. interesting well every patient's. different yeah yeah oh you're still okay. he's trying to get you off the the pen. go ahead no no and if if anything I'd. like to encourage more of it you want. him to use the vape pen more I think. he's not vaping enough that's not going. to work either listen Dr philm I don't. drink I don't do drugs um I I quit. smoking cigarettes sometime I Vape some. congrats on the um this is my last harah. here right so I think I'm doing pretty.

good man that and. food you know what's so funny when. that's not a shot when my what my mom. said to me yesterday I've been didn't I. share about it at I shared about it at. my a meeting okay I'm not taking a shot. at you and my mom well my mom said you. were there yeah she goes you'd be. handsome if you lost weight she said you. used to look like Elvis I thought she. she said your face doesn't match your. stomach that's what she said that hurt. that's [ __ ] that's deep that's deep d. you have a beautiful face she did she. said what about my body I think your. body's fine she poked your stomach about.

five times yeah what do you think about. my body me as your. employee that was a great [ __ ] answer. be right back very yeah very you never. know our Dynamic yeah I mean do you. think I should lose some weight um I. think you should I think you're perfect. just the way you are like looks wise but. you should. walk way it is. you'll never like how you were after you. Gorge a big meal I want you to sit at.

the piano all sloly and just. go that's just a. word things will never be the fall. asleep I don't think you need to lose. anyway thank you all I think you need to. do is continue being happy and that your. health will follow suit I actually caros. Carlos he looks as healthy and happy as. I've ever seen him he hugged me today. when I came in the studio I was here. early yelling at somebody uh and Carlos. walked in had a big smile didn't you and.

you and you you just you looked very. good you feel good he came to the. meeting today well I was going to let. him share it but do you want to share. this on the show or no yeah I went to an. AA meeting for the first time in like. six years today whoa hey that's a big. deal don't let anyone tell you it's not. no one didn't no one said it wasn't well. they might no they won't there there's. haters out there Phil Phil what the [ __ ]. are you doing what you onv is different. than today yeah I thought you about to. throw a plastic let me tell you. something about you Phil dude get even.

since I've been in here before the even. the cameras went on man you've been. negative and [ __ ] weird swearing up a. [ __ ] storm you're acting like the. opposite of what you're [ __ ]. represent on television I'm [ __ ]. tired of this [ __ ] love this who the. [ __ ] are you dude it's good to see some. emotion coming from. you Doctor are you high right now dude. look at your eyes. dude Dr Phil Dr Phil Stone you're stoned. right now when did you eat a edible. you know that didn't pause it no didn't.

do anything yeah it's been a rough. couple weeks uhhuh what's been going on. Phil my goldfish died okay oh man we'll. get you a new one bud yeah okay step to. replace uh the first fish you buy. oh oh when did you buy it good they live. like three days three days ago. okay well Dr Phil I would like you to. get to the root of what's going on with. Carlos I'm sorry to step you out of your. goldfish quandry but we'll get you a new.

one it doesn't mean anything and and and. Carlos we are proud of you I want to say. how happy I am in you have looked like. you're feeling like a new man your. Clarity the other day was remarkable. thank you Andrew you were intimidating. Bobby a little bit oh yeah I did I yeah. we had some good riffs on the show it. was pretty I was surprised I feel good. at how good you feel it was interesting. like coming in sober to that episode I. felt more like I felt sharper you want.

to show us something shiny yeah I got. this 24-hour chip that's amazing and I. showed it to Andrew and I almost started. crying and I gave him a big hug but are. you serious though he is the hell shut. the [ __ ] up shut the [ __ ] up wait what. the [ __ ] are you talking about he is he. gave me a big hug and almost started. crying I know because I don't know are. you or not I don't I just I I want you. to want it but if you don't want it I'm. fine too I mean. I wouldn't have gone to the meeting if I. didn't if I didn't want to like explore.

that like I tried to stay sober last. night and it didn't work and I was like. and tonight no tonight I'm going to. really I'm going to call let him do I. believe him I believe he's got the co. the the token to prove it it's not real. 24 hours then put talking to the mic. sweetheart it's not been 24 hours then. no no well we need to cut pieces of like. [ __ ] out out of people's lives the Nega. [ __ ] n you mean fancy yeah negative. fancy that's your name negative fancy.

dude I'm just saying he no no no [ __ ]. you you told me yesterday you didn't. drink no no no but then I I did drink. yeah this is what happen so in addiction. fans it goes up and down oh my you. arrogant piece of [ __ ] I was [ __ ] dude. that's span this is a Spanish Mexican. thing that's what that's he's trying to. show can I can I say can I take a stab. at at trying to see what how we got here. yeah go ahead Carlos uh you've been. sober a day now yeah like uh 10 hours.

yeah like 10 hours so like five backtack. episodes of say by the bill of the. College Years exactly that's not a long. time but you spent your time prior to. that enjoying the uh the benefits of. alcohol consumption no yes what were. some of the most fun things you did and. do you miss it right now Phil is this. going to keep him. sober I just I don't know your approach. you're a doctor I we go what are the. negative yeah well that sounds like a. good place to start what what what got.

you what did you hate about. yourself honestly that I would wake up. not remember how I got home that by the. way is something we've all we've all. been there oh my God the nightmare of. Imagine I've never been imagine us. getting the call call me. okay oh hey what's up yeah hey Carlos. what no it's me Bobby oh hey hey Bobby. yeah why you calling from Carlos's phone. uh hold on hold what are the.

numbers what are the numbers of the show. I we're doing really well this week good. good good good we hit all the. checkpoints yeah speaking of hit you got. anything to tell. me oh yeah yeah yeah oh why do I have. Carlos's phone that's right um why. he's he's uh well he's in the back of a. police car what's new yeah well what's. new is um yeah what's the new part about. the new part about this is that um a. family. died hi I'm Officer James uh I'm here to.

tell you about the. family now are you calling me or are you. here with me right now oh I'm here oh. Officer. James I'm so sorry it's good to see. youan of the show oh you got showed up. oh you came we're here together Jessie. what are you doing here what the [ __ ]. have you been with these guys all day no. I thought we were recording yeah we're. supposed to shoot anyway Officer James. wrap this up we have to have to film bad. friends now yeah well I know that and I. realize that this happened close to home. and I and I hate that for you but your.

friend. Carlos uh hit a family and they were on. their way to can I stop you for a second. chuckecheese yeah you look exactly like. Dr Phil yeah I was thinking that I. thought too that are you it was crazy Dr. Phil let me live a normal life huh oh. you're like oh I know you're like Steven. Sagal yeah I'm like under he's a cop and. stuff you ever see Undercover Brother. with Eddie Griffin I'm the white version. of that wow so you cosplay. as a comp you're like Shaq you're like a. should we go to the murderer first.

office so the family it's so there was I. think they were it was all adults yeah. but but the good news Andrew is going. Andrew yeah the good news. raccoons racco it was a family of. raccoons well who ate the bodies of the. family that was real that's true that is. true we opened them up yeah and there. was a Hispanic family inside the body. how many people was this well I mean you. know 30 felt like five but they just. kept coming out yeah yeah yeah just like. they do in like a regular car yep yeah. well what do you.

mean no sorry uh officer I just didn't. get that bit a lot of them no what do. you mean they fit a lot they they like. clowns what's the Mexican. one that's it sorry that was awes let's. get back to the truth oh Carlos is here. what's up let's get back to the truth. thank God you didn't do anything [ __ ]. tragic we know of yeah that's true cuz. that's not okay and hey what's your hand. right now if you drink and drive again I. will [ __ ] you up I will [ __ ] you up Dad.

I don't like it it's not funny I don't. like it not funny to surrender to you. today what is this bring it over uh MDMA. mushrooms and cocaine give it to me now. well and then leave it here first and. then I'll bring it over to Andrew so. you're surrendering some stuff that you. have for me good for you what is it now. do you want to measure this to make sure. that none of okay so what's the white. powder I'm proud of you hey my man. what's the white powder what's the white. powder big [ __ ] de this is Coke yeah. I don't know let's officer doctor I'm. not you your mind Coke yeah cocaine last.

time I did Coke was at third eye concert. Molly Molly from a different dealer. Molly from a different dealer I think I. rented that in high school Molly uh. mushrooms mushrooms mushrooms more. mushrooms and the uh Coke no fentanyl so. it's good to go doctor you've tested it. yeah that's the last of it I've done it. and then I had it as a backup in case I. needed an oomph in the morning and then. Dr Phil I I made him pee on a cup and I. want to make sure you you know you test.

it uh yeah we'll have our my producer. Tina will test it Oh I thought you were. we call her P Tina oh there you go so. you peed in the cup before the show Dr. Phil do you want to make sure that this. is that it's clean yeah cute so he's not. lying is this real American urine yeah. like well. Mexican yeah okay yeah now what's. Mexican American what's the difference. am I you taste it you spicier just to. make sure got a little bite to it yeah. I just want to make sure that it's uh. drug free drug free that's real piss.

yeah give it one small sip doctor that's. how you test it yeah I smell the. pee I don't just eat [ __ ] I smell it to. make sure it's Dr Phil relax she's not a. doctor well I never tested piss before. she doesn't know well you haven't truly. lived then all right here we go oh my. God. [Laughter]. oh my God oh my. God is it.

clean oh my God his pupils are. dilating I really wish I hadn't done. that why cuz now I'm hooked now you're. hooked it's delicious found it dude. found it Dr Phil that's great wow wow. it's the last of my margarita in my. system you okay there's tequila in. there it's not clean right return the. chip I mean it definitely is p but this. guy return the chip such an [ __ ].

return the chip you sound like a a James. Bond villain return the chip there it is. you must return the. chip Dr. Bond Dr Bond Dr Bond I have an idea well. because um fancy has been so negative. lately and Carlos is just getting out of. drugs I think I saw this in a movie if. they switch places so Carlos could raise. uh Fancy's baby beautiful wife and learn. responsibility and fancy could start. doing Caine and kind of show to be up on.

time every Monday do you see what I'm. saying like he could lose a little bit. there was a negative now let let's see. even if you switch places physically. let's see if it dynamically changes how. you guys are this is like that baitman. Reynolds movie The change up it's. exactly like that that's what I'm. thinking of all right let's see if maybe. this helps even a little bit oh I like. this yeah oh wow you're yeah you like. the position oh you looks so good there. thank you hey. fans how are you. feeling I feel like.

drinking. okay wow imagine going on a cruise boat. in here and that in the room across the. hall I I feel like drinking and you go. we must be in the the weird part of the. ship by the way you pass by you pass by. that room you pass by the room thinking. right on man but you see he's just. looking in the mirror by. himself I feel like drinking no one even. in there with him you poke your head and. you go my man you need a sandwich or.

something Dr P I feel like those edes. are kicking in right now aren't they I'm. feeling pretty good can't taste the PE. residue uh Carlos congrats again man. thanks do I want to give you a big shout. out and a good and a quick little Pat me. on the back for yourself appreciate it I. like to do it for myself and then I just. do that to you see now Dr Bill this you. wouldn't mean like brush it away this. means like uh this is kind of dismissive. like language isn't this like [ __ ] off. uh no this is [ __ ] off that's [ __ ] off.

you know Adam Ray right sure yeah can I. can you can I say something I want to. say a fan Oh either well it's but I but. tell I've seen him on YouTube but I did. a video with Andrew and Adam Ray about. Olympic video that's done very well on. the internet my favorites yeah one of my. favorites but I want to say something. just related this to Adam if you may. okay I'm um super proud of him because I. can see him coming up in the comedy. World in terms of like the numbers and. people talking about him okay he's.

working super hard he is yeah and I uh. honestly I I tell him that I'm really. proud of the guy that's so nice well. that means a lot there it is yeah well. you know it's a grind and as you guys. know you know we just try to put one. foot in front of the other that day when. we did that what was my attitude like. miserable was I really yeah you were. being a little [ __ ] wow 11 years ago. 11 years ago look at that and you and. you left early you left the shoot before. I mean look at the look at the the oh. God someone's dealing Coke in a video. game you left the shoot before we were.

done we had access to the gym for a. certain amount of time and ho Tutti was. a great name for unbelievable yeah ho. Tutti how skinny I was well you look. good you look good haven't changed a bit. your mom would like this this was 11. years ago his mom looked like this no. she would like him here you see you. didn't get less negative for some reason. it's like you positive he looks great no. you said your mom would like this it's. like a backhanded compliment no she you.

look great you're a [ __ ] [ __ ] you. look great [ __ ] youe 11 years ago you're. saying a decade ago yeah Bob you know. what I love about hoot's outfit it looks. like a real coach's outfit it does did. you have that jacket or did you buy it. no that was in his trunk yeah it was my. trunk it was in the trunk of his car I. remember you getting it out it was very. funny you know who you know who. complimented me on this about this video. who Alison Jones oh really yeah she goes. I saw that video with Andrew and Adam. she goes so funny you know what was. really funny about this moment that we. were starting to shoot this you didn't.

want to do it and then you asked if you. could smoke in the gym y oh that's right. and I thought of all the places you. probably can't see it's in a [ __ ]. it's a kids gymnasium gy yeah but you. know what but what a fun video You. Killed you're violent uh that what a. funny thing too it's like violence is. only funny if it's done by the right. people yeah right that's true. Schwarzenegger what oh W the way you. said that said I don't like the way you. said that well Arnold yeah but the last. name well now you're making me. self-conscious no say it the last name.

do you know him Arnold yeah you know. we've in passing you know we've been at. premieres together so I mean the Schwarz. was fine yeah Schwarz sounded normal. let's just leave it at that then Arnold. Schwarz yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah we met. at the premiere of um God what was it. that's your old accountant Arnold. Schwarz yeah yeah Arnold Schwarz yeah. don't tell Mom the babysitters dead what. a film wow with Christina Applegate and. a very uh early uh still Getty Love. Christina Applegate dude I had such a. crush on her big Crush Elizabeth Sho in.

that no no no that's that's uh that's. baby that's a bab babysitter movie uh. don't tell adventures and babysitting. Yeah Boy a lot of babysit mov she's um. doing pretty good huh Elizabeth Shu yeah. what is she doing I I'm not privy to. what you're saying she's in the uh the. boys oh the boys the boys who you see. the boys great show very funny I don't. see a lot I watch a lot of Dr pimple. popper a lot oh okay okay of um other. doctors chop Jr boy they're mean to. those kids they're like hey Caleb do you.

know Dr schles oh The Medicine Woman oh. no the uh the. product yeah I also know Dr Pepper. guy is Dr Su guy or not know Dr Pepper. sure you know Dr Pepper I know Justin. guini if that's what you're getting at. guy I can call him right now don't. please no please don't no yeah I'll read. the room. do you know mythological. doctors Dr Doom Dr Doom yeah well Dr. Claw is probably the most famous of the.

fake docs maybe McDreamy who do you. think who do you think gets more [ __ ]. Dr Claw from Inspector Gadget or Patrick. Dempsey I'm gonna go with Dempsey a wild. guest but I think Dempsey does for sure. yeah I mean agree to disagree but yeah. yeah Dempsey he really popped off Jess. who was your like hunk probably Doc O Dr. Octavius oh yeah oh good a man with. eight arms are you kidding me oh oh okay. there we go hey you're three for three. don't his don't his fingers have tongues.

on them they they probably could isn't. that how they thought about it but yeah. can you imagine that they don't but they. they could they could can you imagine. getting fingered and there's a tongue on. the finger these are the things I think. about yeah imagine Dr o what's his name. Octavius Octavius him being a goalkeeper. for a soccer team amazing undefeated. undefeated I mean imagine you're doing a. penalty kick and he's just unsto and. then just tongues everywhere yeah Tong. does he oh my God Ronaldo would be.

scared well everybody would be no. Ronaldo could get him you think so yeah. he's the best FIFA Ronaldo could [ __ ]. yeah man you know much about soccer love. FIFA scored on my own team in the fourth. grade true story what do you mean my. friend's dad called me a [ __ ] idiot. yeah wait on go what's that it's called. an on goal yeah yeah yeah the goalie was. trying to dive out of the way the ball. was going towards the sideline yeah and. I kicked it and this is me telling the. story not Adam Ray yeah yeah cuz i' I've. heard him tell a similar story and he's.

fabricating me this happened to me balls. going towards the sideline tried to kick. it out of bounds it slashed around the. goalie he dove in slow motion yeah and I. went oh [ __ ] my friends dad on the ride. home goes you [ __ ] idiot really fifth. grade yes wow so mean yeah it was. terrifying as a child you learn that you. know even adults are doing their best. but in that moment I you know I wanted. to grab the wheel and crash us into a. Wendy's. Jesus Jesus Christ Dr Phil but I didn't.

I thank God yeah self discipline you're. still here buddy well I'm clicking and. Ticking I'm I'm feeling. good it wasn't it just your. birthday in September coming up last. September no I guess we're further away. we're further we're in the. mid yeah next six months it'll probably. happen again it's like a golden shower. birthday or something what do you mean. when it's your midpoint birthday yeah. yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah is that you. think it's called I don't know I just. drank some piss and I'm still thinking. about it okay I might have you know what. even though it's going to be my 53rd.

birthday congrats thank you I'm G I. might have a. party really because back in the day I. don't know if you guys do you ever go. Carlos I used to have these big parties. you know where I used to have. them uh Spaghetti Factory yep do you did. you ever go did Adam ever go I believe. he sent me some pictures yeah yeah and. it looked like a blast I used to rent. out half a [ __ ] Spaghetti Factory dad. owned it we knew the kids's dad I it was. a comic whose dad owned the Spaghetti. Factory on Hollywood Boulevard right. yeah it was on sunset sunset I yeah yeah.

yeah there was a kid that his dad owned. that spaghetti fact a comic I don't. remember when we were coming up when. when Adam and I were young yeah we. remember he tells me a lot of your uh. your your up and cominging stories the. Robbie peard bar shows oh yeah Robbie. piard yeah down in uh Orange County. Orange County there's a lot of [ __ ] gigs. you guys do and I really want to say you. know my world it's like you're yeah you. you kind of get thrust into the. Limelight pretty quick but you guys got. to just take it or leave it it doesn't. seem like it was quick for you you. didn't you become famous in your like.

50s yeah but I felt like I was famous in. my 20s but you weren't what did we learn. today well uh we learned that Scooby-Doo. has a a multiple uh is a is a different. way of looking at L yeah yeah y yep we. learned that so that was good we learned. that uh you know I've got all sorts of. uh different looks for the camera we. learned this we learned your dance from. edmed right what do we else do we learn. well what we did learn is that Carlos is. On A New Path to happiness Redemption.

why don't we do this why don't we say. goodbye to Dr Phil and we can wrap up uh. without Dr Phil so we can talk bad about. him behind his back okay a little bit. happy New Year by the way happy New Year. Phil this was a resolution of mine was. to come on this show we really. appreciate you Dr Phil thank you for. being on the show be good to yourself. that's. great all right well thanks for Dr Phil. coming through um that was a little. awkward. Lockwood that was a little shout out. shout out Matt lock Matt Lockwood that.

was a little awkward he he that Dr Phil. he's different he's a little bit Yeah. well he's what's the word I'm looking. for he's a little skinnier he's skinnier. than I thought that is for sure yeah but. also you can tell when it hit yeah you. can tell can't you no be real yeah you. can tell when the Edibles kick in it hit. and then his eyes you could tell like. ripped ripped and then he didn't know. what really what he was talking about he. drank piss. I mean this guy is that's insane that's. it's so gross but did he help solve. anything in the studio I don't think he.

made it worse he tried to get Carlos to. keep using fancy definitely is not in. support of Carlos's sobriety which is. honestly I'm annoyed but it's like well. how do I really dictate that how mad I. am let's talk about the year in general. can we talk about the year in general we. had some great moments on this year but. we've had some dark times we have to go. through those to get to the light yeah. one day sober [ __ ] Yoda now what the. [ __ ] Andre says I'm not even one day hey.

man yeah it works if you work it yeah. but you know it's you know to as a. family we went through a lot of tough. times with some good times but you know. at the end of the day we're still. standing and we will move forward we're. sitting right. now okay we'll be sitting and we'll sit. forward we'll sit forward I am leaning. forward I know you are and we will will. continue I I imagine us doing this for. many good years one more we're done no.

no I be real no I I I I I think I I I. think till 2025 for sure though I'd say. 2030 wow that's a lot that's to well you. won't be you won't be here you won't be. here yeah you'll be directing [ __ ]. commercials or something then oh my God. you know but you know what kind it'll be. like uh it'll be like industrial. commercial yes 100% or you know he'll be. washer dryer it'll be like combo wash or. dryer yeah do you want to wash and also. dry at the same time yeah you know he'll.

be directing [ __ ] like that for sure. I I I think I could predict what we're. going to be in the next couple years I. think Carlos in five years is no longer. to be in La what just hear me out okay. he's going to be one of those guys. that's going to live amongst other. people like him in an island do beads W. you know what I mean uh a lot of smells. I like that like lighting like you know. what I mean powder and stuff okay. where's Mone going to be Mone is going. to go back to Minnesota yeah yeah he'll.

have to I mean that's my prediction. you're going to be back in Minnesota but. you're the big wig you know what I mean. you're going to be in part of some sort. of like a you know a design you're can. to do something with design that's the. name of your design firm is bigwig. bigwig designs big wig designs it's. going to be in Minneapolis you'll have. an office what about fancy fancy I like. industrial commercials thank you oh we. mean that yes okay good he's not working. for us any any more than in 5 years okay. what about jety jet is going to be um. and this is this is where this it turns.

bad oh no this's going to hurt this. one's going to hurt it had to be it's. going to hurt us not you what you're. going to be um a huge. comedian you'll have your own talk show. oh like big like super fat like yeah. yeah she no she will gain weight yeah a. lot yeah yeah yeah I'm a woman and her. new name is going to be roly poly rly. poly yeah and the introduction of the. song rly po. and she's going to roll down this hill. right like you know like you know like a. um pill buug yes and you you'll come out.

like that right yeah and you go you. ready to have some fun right everyone in. the audience arena is wearing roly poly. shirt rly poly bug glasses and then um. you will delete us from your phone. you'll delete us from your phone you. will delete us from you will go oh like. when you we come up let's say say. something to me about us about I'm I'm. Jesse in the future oh Jess it's been so. long how's it been roly poly no we know.

you're roly poly and do you love it. though it's so cool it's through the. scales up in the [ __ ] Heavens so you. lost your ability to talk what do you. mean you got so famous you couldn't. formulat phrases hey guys you know when. I go down that Hill dude that's for real. and I do it every show. so how come you haven't like got in. contact with us again we've been calling. you to come back on the bad friend show. and you excuse me we just would this is. you're not an interviewer from. news it's me it's. Andrew.

oh hey hey Roy this it's. Bobby oh you're the sound guy right yeah. yeah but yeah I've been doing it part. time but I was wondering if what's the. what's the tag you know what you're. going to be doing in 5 years. sound the sound guy now yeah I was. wondering if you wanted to get. dinner like old times we get a get a. here rly poly is fine rly poly is it's a.

therapy thing no like she just goes into. herself oh that's so sad it's so sad all. right what happens to me in 5 years. you're not my. driver do people have drivers I I just. got an Uber x no I'm not you're uber x. no I'm I'm lift oh you're lift yeah okay. well we got to get to the airport I have. to drive you yes where are you. headed well my private. plane you think. you're wait a sound guy has a private.

plane no you're the sound guy I'm Jesse. still you're you oh right now right now. oh I'm. sorry sorry sorry. sorry I got to say this yeah you are. going to be working sound on her on roly. poly live shows yeah and I'm going to be. the driver I'm going to be the local. driver everybody this where we are in 5. years the team is dismantled Carlos Has. Fallen in love he's moved to Texas he's. opened up a business of bead making. you're correct mcon by the way couldn't.

get to Minneapolis he got to duth. instead couldn't get all the way back to. Minneapolis right right right and and. the only thing you got wrong cuz all. this is right because you know I've seen. the future yeah is the fancy part what. is it did not get to Direct One. commercial I know not one I know close. though pretty close pretty close they. were considering he met with the Ad. Agency and they liked him he was in the. they didn't understand it he was in the. mix they didn't understand that they. didn't understand yeah yeah what's your.

vision my vision is to okay we. can't it do someone with more clear. concise um yeah so that's it in five but. the next year we'll be still here next. year will be a great big year for bad. friends we are finally going to announce. our down under tour dates we have 10. cities we're playing we really. appreciate it I mean this we got the. numbers in the tickets that we sold this. year the cities that we played it was. Monumental it was like one of the best. years how sell this year around. 100,000 100,000 people came to go see us.

yeah it's insane thank you so much thank. you for being a bad. [Music]. friend wo.