When the Plane Goes Down | Ep 75 | Bad Friends

yo what up bad friends guess what we got. new merch baby yes the rudy university. series. this is the rudy university shirt in. black we also got. the gym shorts we got gym shorts for you. the rudy university gym shorts and. the rudy university shirt in maroon. maroon so go to badfriendsmerch.com to. snag those right now badfriendsmerch.com. it's right down below you know how to. get it snag this stuff before it all.

goes and sells out also i'm on tour. andrew santino.com for those tickets i'm. going to be. in denver i'm going to be in nashville. i'm going to boston and we're adding. 22 cities in two weeks we'll be adding. all of the cities i'm going to uh but. come see me denver nashville boston. uh and many many more at. andrewssantino.com andrewsantino.com. you two are bad friends who are these. two idiots. [Music].

or something we're bad friends i just. got off an airplane i just got in from. houston. yeah pretty good dude sold out. sold out four shows did you meet raymond. yet. do you meet raymond who's raymond he's. the general manager all of them over. there. uh no i didn't meet a gm so when we're. driving here this is what jules goes. she looks good we had a really nice. moment because we're driving and she. goes um. to the puppy i got what can you play. american pie. can you play american pie oh the song of.

the song. really so i i'm driving and i'm like you. know me trying to find it. yeah we park i finally have it on. right and i go the music starts playing. ah you know i don't want to sing it. because i want to get flagged but like. now you can sing it if it's original go. ahead do your version. bye bye missed american pie. yep right trophy and i'm kind of like. dancing a little bit mm-hmm because and. i and she's sitting there and i'm like. this could be a moment between you guys.

yeah like a cool. summer moment yeah you know and we're. we're listening to a [ __ ] song that. she requested. and her uncle you know and my niece. we're just having a moment. yeah and she goes let's go inside. andrew's waiting and i go. let's have a moment no i don't want to. right and that and i go. we're finishing the song right so we sit. there and i'm trying to get the song. and she does not want to have a moment. with me why don't you want to have a. moment with tito. because we're late no you weren't well.

you were already late it didn't matter. so at that point just. just enjoy it do you not like having. moments with him is that what it is are. you scared of having like a. a really nice sweet moment no i'm okay. with it all right well let's have one. right now i want you to look them in the. face right now and say. tito bobby i i love and respect you you. mean the world to me and then we're. gonna. play american part you can't play it. right we can play it you sing your own. version. okay ready right guys turn on the radio. so say. tell me to play the song bobby can you. play american pie.

excuse me sweetheart which what i would. not say my lovely sweetheart. excuse me can you play american pie. oh sweetheart my love. i'll play it play. bye bye miss american pie. drove my shirt toodle-levy but the levy. was dry. ham good old boys and drinks that's. whiskey she's hanging a migraine. don't do that with your face. this will be the day.

okay good that yeah [ __ ] it it's not. working. why don't you why don't you want to. participate and have a moment with him. you know he's getting older and he. thinks. about this stuff my parents do this too. they're getting older and they want to. soak up these moments because they're. fleeting. you you only got seriously think about. this you have 30 summers left. that's it maybe even less probably 20. summers isn't that crazy it's crazy. 20 something when i look in the mirror. now yeah i go i literally think. oh you're dying you're dying like i. could see my.

my the bags on my eyes and the wrinkles. and the and the liver spots forming yeah. right yep and i can just see when i get. up i go oh i have to make a noise ah. my knees you know my back right so it's. like i'm dying. she's dying and you you don't want to. have a [ __ ] moment with me why not. rude. i don't know yeah tired she's tired. she's tired. you're tired a lot yeah she's you know. she's tired i get to why she's tired. because. she um which she had a busy day today. she she saw a black widow.

oh and that's it. that's it oh my god that's it that's. so tiring that was your day yeah oh cool. i flew from houston. okay then i got home had to make dinner. clean up the house and do my laundry and. then i got here got here on time. so shut up yeah black widow black widow. how did you like it that was good wasn't. it i heard it was good was it it topped. the bot it was the biggest box at the. bottom. top to the bottom of the box office you. know what i also saw this since last. night which i didn't want to like.

i finished manifest by the way. [Laughter]. did you see the whole season i did not i. didn't i just couldn't get through what. i. i couldn't how many episodes you get in. five yeah. six i don't you know yeah i know look at. me let him go. no yeah i can't break it you know what i. mean i had there was a moment where i. was like. is he is this a bit no make me watch. this as a bit i'm on the plane watching. manifest i'm not. it's it's good in a bad way it's like. what lost was. but last one last was pretty that was.

kind of good lost had good map. you know what's weird when you're. watching a plane crash on the airplane. because people look over at you watching. people. oh that's on a plane or like a plane. moment yeah yeah like i tried. when the turbulence and the lights go. out and the guy looked next to me i. looked him and i was like. no you know i always thought because we. fly a lot. and i always think to myself this is the. one this is the one and then. like i've had turbulence where it was. really bad me too and. um i'm always thinking like if you know. we were really soaring down.

mm-hmm and they lost complete control. like the engine is out. right and the lights are going off and. people are screaming. what i would do what would i do. what would you do i don't think i would. scream. i've asked this before i said if you can. only yell out if you could yell out. two words yeah what would your two words. be. suck on suck on yeah yeah. because i'd probably see a hot chick. right right we're going down and i think. they're cheating at that point i'm dying.

right you and you think she's gonna undo. her seatbelt okay. maybe i don't know but i think i would. probably eye out. yeah i always eye out the hottest. chicken thing right so if she's like. five. rows be up behind me right i would. probably try and go suck on. right suck on and she goes okay. right we would like it would be. difficult yeah. it would be difficult and i would pull. it down right. and we're like trying to chuckle we're. trying to balance right. like you have to i mean i'm not trying.

to be aggressive mm-hmm. but i would have to grab her head i mean. i guess because the plane is moving but. yeah. shifting all the way hold myself you. know right oh. right and then as she's doing it. the plane would level out right and i'd. just be like sorry about that folks that. was just a little bit of turbulence. there but then. would you i hope nobody has their dick. out and they yelled stuck on in the. middle of that crash but would you tell. your girlfriend. yeah you'd have to i don't think so you. because you almost died. because i didn't come oh right okay then. yeah then yeah i didn't come yeah.

i think if i came that's the rules. that's the rule right that's the rules. yeah yeah if you're in a dying situation. but then other people probably two or. three people on the plane. maybe recognize me do you think yes. for a couple of people i think it's. right yeah so i think they would say. something. right that's kind of like those people. that are you know there might be people. trapped in that building in florida you. know they. had to go look it's a nightmare but can. you imagine this is sad and weird and. gross. but imagine you're trapped for like two. days nightmare and you know you're gonna. die. yeah you don't know if they're gonna.

save you do you ever just. you think somebody just rubs one out is. his last go. don't you want one last nut you're like. okay. look i'm trapped underneath rocks yeah. and i'm just bro i've been willing to. help for two days. even if my hands were pinned yeah right. you would just right i would. still i'd find like a [ __ ] pipe. sticking out. and i would try to get my dick in the. pipe right and i would just do like. 15 pumps i would definitely yeah and. they would find my body with my dick. when you're [ __ ] a pipe in a pipe.

but with a smile yeah i think you'd want. to go you'd want one more nut. yeah but what like i thought about that. when frank was in that 127 hours or. whatever. i would have [ __ ] the crack you're the. [ __ ] the crack you would [ __ ] the crowd. yeah. yeah that's interesting to me like if. you're if you're trapped. and you know you're gonna die yeah. because the chances of getting out are. are almost non-existent yeah maybe you. want one more. let's see you're pinned under the thing. yeah right yeah pinned. and you have your left hand right yeah. and there's a girl next to you.

[Music]. that's all i'm gonna add i'm gonna end. there no that's not what i was gonna say. what were you gonna say are you okay yo. you're just happy to see she was fine. yeah. are you okay you're alive and she'd be. dead yeah yeah yeah. what are your last two words on a plane. jules it's going down. going down and it's oh no everyone's. freaking out then jules you get to yell. out i. when i yell i usually say mama mama. and then she just killed a man. [Laughter].

you yell mama some guy in the back goes. [Laughter]. that would be so cool what a cool way to. go out that's a cool way to go out. as it's crashing well that's cool you. would start a song. you would start a song that's amazing i. love that what song else could you start. on a plane like that well you know that. like it's gonna be a song that everyone.

knows you know like the song they play. at the. stupid red sox games is uh sweet. caroline. yeah you know yeah. sweet caroline would you be embarrassing. if you're flying. you're thinking i'm gonna start a song. we're dying and you try you go sweet. and no one says anything and you're just. kind of like. oh it's a bummer you go sweet caroline. and everyone's like. it's so dark dude you know what but. every time i fly every time i fly into.

burbank yeah. it's so sketchy the runways are this big. yeah and they have to barrel down. and this time we landed on the left. wheel and then the right wheel went down. and everyone went like this. yeah like you feel it dude let me let me. ask you this when you're sitting you. know how. when you sit down in the emergency exit. row and the i'm not doing a hacky joke. but i'm just like a stewardess comes up. to you and he says. in the case of emergency are you going. to be able to help yeah and you you. always go. yes yes of course but you know deep down. inside you're not never going to help. because i don't know how it works no. first of all i don't know how any of the.

levers work or anything like that i'm. pulling it up and i'm. running out by myself but is that all. you do is pull it up yep i'm leaving. everybody behind me i feel like there's. three or four things you have to do with. that door. yeah yeah i think yeah there's no way no. it's that big lever. cracks open and the door the door swings. sideways and pushes out and it's off. yeah. i would just run well it will if i was. in this emergency exit road. i would be passed out and i'd just be a. blockage i think. sir yeah they'd have to hop over my body. and be a whole like a you know i mean. it's an extra thing that's an extra.

thing they have to deal with on the way. out. yeah but you don't sit by the exit row. anymore you're a rich guy you sit in. first class baby. i only but that only started in the last. couple of years. because before it's like i don't i want. to say but my manager is like. cheap yeah they booked the flights for. you my manager books the flights. oh still to this sweetie it's just it's. a three-hour flight so just do middle. seat. southwest and i'd be always like all. right. yeah yeah the worst was when you never.

chose your own. flights and [ __ ] dude that's like my. nightmare here's where it ended so i. this is a true story mm-hmm so i did. the oddball fest comedy from san. francisco. no wasn't in san francisco we i did the. texas run oh. so it was me sebastian miles galco. ali wong tom sugar a bunch of people. right gang cook. wow and um big names we're all supposed. to book our own flights. so i have the manager who i have so we. all are flying out. in burbank to texas but we're all at the.

airport. yeah all the managers got their clients. first class. except for you wow so they get in first. and now i'm sitting there like i'm also. zone three or four you're the back of. the play on the back of the plane right. you're not even getting and i'm just. like. like literally thinking should i fire my. manager. right and then as i walk through [ __ ]. first class. these guys are throwing [ __ ] [ __ ] on. my face that's so funny it's so funny. on those guys oh yeah they start pillows.

and they're like boo. you scare me get back you're they're. like yelling get back. on the bus you little immigrant you know. and like just. acting a fool and so i'm back there and. each one of them. through the flight would go back there. and throw me like. peanuts or stuff that they got in the. first class. that's so good it's so mean but it was. so funny but that's big props because i. you would you. bobby lee would do that absolutely to. somebody else if we were on the same. flight and i went past you. you would totally [ __ ] with me yes yeah. it was so fun yes you would it'd be so.

fun but. um you'd [ __ ] with so then after that i. got back in town i said. to abby i go i just i think we can do. sometimes first class yeah especially in. that situation it's like. if you're flying as much as as much as. we fly yeah i get that by the way when. we go to cancun. yeah when we do bad friends cancun what. does does she get first class. that's a big thing they're paying for it. i know but they they're asking us what. flights we want yeah. and where we want to sit so do we put.

her in the first have you flown first. class. um i think when you know bob. no we went to seattle and it was first. class oh yeah i put you in first class. yeah you did yeah that's very nice of. you man you keep doing nice stuff for. this chick i know she doesn't have. moments with me it's crazy you don't. want to have a moment in the car where. he wants to sing once. no you know what that that right there. you're not getting a first class on the. way to cancun. cancun is not a close flight by the way. yeah that's a nice little trip and in. fact when we land in the airport yeah. you're going to find your own white ride.

home that's right that's all. i mean yeah so start learning spanish. right now yeah yeah yeah how do you say. uh how do you say take me to the resort. in spanish you know how oh. well you better learn it kiddo because. you're gonna be on your own since the. that tuesday she performed. she's got a little oh she's getting. cocky i knew it dude i could feel that. she was getting a little bit because she. walked in here and she kind of sluffed. her way in. and she goes same studio huh yeah that's. what she said. yeah yeah like it's like it's old news. to her and like one of the dogs is her. dogs. yeah one of the dogs is her dog she's. like the primary yeah.

and this [ __ ] duck's [ __ ] all. over the house and she doesn't choose. and now she used to but now. i have to clean it really she's like. with her. and then you know what she also did. which. literally was the most horrifying thing. i've ever seen in my life in terms of. like my body reacting to it. yeah i got goosebumps i'm not kidding.

you. from the top of my head to my toes i. cringed and i almost kind of yelped so. i'm in the backyard smoking. you know what i'm talking about and so i. put the cigarette out and there's a. gigantic not gigantic but a mid-sized. metallic trash bin with a lid on it. right. so i put out the cigarette and i always. put the butts in there so i lifted it up. and there was probably oh my god there. was probably. 200 000 maggots.

oh i know crawling up. this thing what did you just i don't. and then dog vomit. oh my god dog vomit who threw dog vomit. and. you did yeah yeah and the maggots were. all over that oh dude you got to hose. that out kid. we already sprayed it with um. insecticide spray so okay that probably. does work.

i guess water that you're going to water. hose it out whenever. whenever the dog pukes i just hose out. there oh yeah no yeah but when you have. maggots what do you do. i've never had that situation ever yeah. yeah but like when the dog throws up in. the yard i just break out the hose and. hose it out. she clumps it together leaves it open it. puts it in the hot summer sun. if you find if you find maggots in food. or trash you can boil them. and the eggs together to kill them boil. them. who's taking the maggots inside another.

option is to thoroughly sprinkle them. with salt or spray them with insecticide. you did it. boil you can boil them and and the eggs. well that's for the filipinos because. they eat them after is that how you guys. want it do you guys eat maggots. no i don't know. funky overseas stuff oh dude look at. this yeah this is this i got this sent. to me. this is real cheetos that tastes like. steak. from where this is this is all japanese. open it up. let's see if it i'll i'll see if i can. try one have you eaten one of these yet.

no these are this just came into me. today. this is from a guy who sent them to make. cheetos this is a guy named this is a. guy named. sunny hill exotics and he sent me all. this stuff look at this. yeah yeah oreo thins vanilla moose. that sounds good right you've had these. pink kitkats from japan right. these are the best these are the best. does it taste like steak. let me see. we got to give some commentary people. don't want to hear you chew for three. minutes hold on.

well give me the give me the bag can i. have the bag so we can like jewels can. have some and i can. can i be honest with you yeah here's my. commentary give it it tastes like. doritos if they just put some salt on it. it doesn't have a steak taste. at all not to me no not even a little. bit no. i had steak for dinner maybe that's what. it is be honest. steak no but they're good they're very. good. it's not steak it's not steak but it's. good what is it though it kind of tastes. like let's try another one this one is.

let's see. this one is what is that that's. who can read that that's um it's what's. a symbol what's a symbol you can't. really tell. i'll be able to you oh you're asian you. should be able to know what it is that's. simple. do you like it that symbol is pork no it. looks like pork that's what i thought it. was i think it's pork. you do yeah yeah try that one open that. one. and this one is this one is um. see it says made with real beef these. these are made with beef. is that one good oh my god.

it's terrible it's bad but kind of good. uh honestly yeah these will [ __ ] you up. why. because because you don't know what it. is i know because i don't know what that. symbol is right that could be. freaking me out to be dog testicles that. you're eating right now. let's see this is pork. that's good i like it you do. no i hate it it's gross but it's good no. it's not good. let the flavor hit yeah no it's the. basket yeah yeah i don't like it maybe.

that went bad it went bad. give me um this is jolly rancher misfits. and look at this yeah oreo wafer roll. sticks. okay what do you want you want this one. this is real beef this says it's made. with real beef. made with real beef dude give me the. [ __ ] um made with real beef. just because it says it doesn't mean. it's true of course it does everything. is true if it's printed. everything is true if it's printed no. but you could all it could be soaked in. like. some sort of you know pork broth. no it says made with real beef grant.

cranberry ginger ale. okay give me the um sweet stuff which. one this is that jolly ranchers. misfits gummies yeah this guy sent me. this stuff. when we were in japan oh did you like. these it's okay did you like the first. one. i like the second one you like this one. better you can keep here keep them. no i have a kitkat yeah you want a. kitkat. these are [ __ ] dude these are [ __ ]. amazing bob. i'll eat one later liquid iv oh. dear god i hate water but you know what.

when it's mixed with liquid iv. it's heaven on earth because i'm getting. nutrients and vitamins and different. things. the hot summer months are here man yeah. you know you need to be proactive and. keep your body. fueled up and hydrated one stick of. liquid iv in 16 ounces of water hydrates. faster and more efficiently than water. alone because boo water. throw in some flavors like watermelon. strawberry lemon lime it sounds and. tastes. delicious yeah and how do you use liquid. iv. yeah i take it first thing in the. morning i usually take it when i wake up. i chug a big glass of water.

because i read that that's good for you. but i like to put stuff in it let me ask. you this. yeah what do you love most about liquid. iv i like to be honest with you i do. like the. the flavoring is good because i'm like. i'm trying not to drink soda anymore so. liquid iv helps. and uh it does taste delicious i think. the apple pie is my that's my favorite. yeah yeah that's my favorite we asked. the question yeah which hydration. flavors. or products do you like the most jewels. which one do you like jewels of all the. liquid ivs. i like the lemon lime oh lemon that's. good old school that's very old school. love you. you know it contains five essential.

vitamins more vitamin c than an orange. and as much potassium as a banana that's. really good it hydrates you faster more. efficiently than water alone. and uh also they're giving out a bunch. of stuff they give they've donated four. million servings and response to cobia. 19. so they're doing. a good thing so grab your liquid iv and. bulk it nationwide at costco. or you can get 25 off when you go to. liquidive.com and use the code bad. friends at checkout. hey hey jules read the last one that's. 25 off anything you order when you get. better hydration today.

using promo code bad friends. liquidity.com. me undies hi friends what are you. wearing right now bob oh my undies it's. my favorite underwear underwear of all. time. and it's um not only do i like um the. sustainable breathable. quality of the fabric and stuff but i. love the designs. yeah so cute and the colors and i have. panda ones i have ones with giraffes on. them i have pizza. pizza and they're so cool yeah they are. cool they're they got classic colors. they got the regular stuff if you're. boring or you can have fun.

and they go from sizes uh extra small. all the way up to 4xl so rudy to bobby. and uh we both love me undies we wear. them all the time they have great offer. for our listeners if you're if you've. never had me undies. you don't know what's going on because. it's so comfortable and they don't. they don't bunch up and all that stuff. andrew i have you know what i just. thought of this okay what i have a great. off. offer for our listeners i'll give it to. them okay for any first-time purchasers. you'll get fifty percent off and free. shipping me. undies also has their problem-free. philosophy. if you're not satisfied with any product.

for any reason. they'll refund or exchange it no. no question yeah yeah to get your 50 ops. yeah to get 15 off your first order and. free shipping go to meundies.com. bad friends that's me undies.com bad. friends. cavitz but that condo collapsed. look let me just talk about homework let. me get this out of my mouth. i wasn't making a joke about the condo.

collapse that's sad okay that's very sad. it's it's a nightmarish it's sad but. also i have thought about because. sometimes when i go skiing. and i go off by myself if i do a couple. of runs solo i genuinely get scared that. i'm like what if. i got an avalanche and then what am i. going to do yeah what did you what do. you do. they can't find you for days and days. you're sitting there. what do you do but the condo thing is i. just want to ask you this. i don't think that isn't there any way. to get that [ __ ]. like because you know they did a search.

and rescue for what. over a week yeah right and if i was. literally if. if my brother or you or anybody. was in that rubble i'd just be like get. the cranes in there let's go. yeah but i think it's not as easy as. that because if you move one piece. another piece falls it's like jenga. you're playing like django best jango. [ __ ] players. in the world who's the best jenga player. in the world look at him get him out. get the best jenga kid out there it's. kind of like how the japanese kids are. with the with the um rubik's cube you.

know these guys can do it like yeah. may 13th at his home in pima county. arizona thai star valentino officially. bested his own world record for most. django blocks so get thai so we call up. thai star valencia condo collapse call. tai that's what i'd say as a please. yeah shows up right yeah and goes all. right remove. that piece first and he labels them he. goes a6 b7. right right right they can go are you. sure it's like. the probability is ninety to eight. percent that that that's supporting he's. he's he's like a beautiful mind he's.

doing the math on he's. got to be people out there like that. this guy ty ty ty star valentiani this. brings me up to uh the most embarrassing. that happened to me two days ago i. wasn't even gonna bring it up i'm gonna. bring it up okay. okay is that um i don't know if you guys. know but i'm obsessed with magic. yeah all right i love magic and i love. my favorite magician. nowadays is a kid by the name of shin. lim. shin lim yeah he's the best where is he. from. he won not just america's got talent but. he also won.

the um oh i just know this guy right. yeah so i'm with howie mandel two days. ago. yeah and i'm like you know if i have a. wedding i want. if you know my dream would have shin lim. help me with. the proposal do like a magic proposal. magic proposal oh that's cool. right and kylie goes oh he's a good. friend of mine. oh that's cool he's like and you guys. are like he's asian. he definitely knows who you are you guys. are like asian you guys are asian so. he'll definitely who you are. yeah and in my head i just assumed he.

would know me i don't know why. because it's asian yeah right you would. think right if another redheaded guy. that he knows me. he knows me no doubt no doubt if he's a. comedian he knows me. exactly yeah he's we're both performing. entertainment yeah he knows me he knows. you. and so how he hands me the phone first. oh your face is he doesn't have howie's. number. they got his number from somebody else. so it's like it's not as if when he. called it says how he says howie mendel. right. right he face he picks up the facetime. and i'm like hey and he's like.

no who are you he had no idea yeah and i. go. oh i'm a comedian he's like no don't. know. is he flipping cards the whole thing no. he's doing his own vegas show and. the mirage he has right he's a resident. he's a residency right right he's like a. big stone that's huge so how he takes. the phone. me it's me howie but i'm now blushing. yeah you feel like [ __ ] i feel like [ __ ]. right you look like me i know right. orange. yeah yeah now i don't even want to now. you don't want to go see him. no let's go see him in vegas he said.

he'd give you backstage. of course he would now that that. embarrassing moment happened now he has. to make up for. i know but have you seen this guy. perform i saw him on agt. i saw this this guy is so good yeah i. mean it's. it's listen you can see like because i. know penn gillette. and it's like you go to youtube and you. see like you know. um magic revealing videos. yeah like they crack the code they. correct the code but a lot of the [ __ ]. that he does they can't even they don't. know how he does it well that was like. penn teller had a show called uh. fool us or something like that no that's.

and shin did that oh he did that show he. did that show and they. he filled them twice two times yeah and. then. penn just called me a week and goes he. wants me on the show. he wants you like a guest judge or. something on the fool us or what is the. show called is it called it's called. fool i think it's called. yeah but um so let's link up with shin. let's get shin. let's get let's go to vegas and go watch. the show and then we should be. like i've been figuring i've been. itching to go to vegas me too. i want to go it's open you know what she. said too huh.

her dream is to go to vegas and go to. clubs. it's not a dream i just want to do it. it's a reality. let's go we can do it 21. next year nick yeah next one what what. what month do you again. november right what if shin lim is the. door guy in vegas. and we walk up he's like i don't i don't. know yeah. let's be embarrassing door guys know who. we are no they're listening. even today yeah if i go on the road. right even before the pandemic right and.

i'll be out of you know at a restaurant. or something. after a show like a late night and some. guy will go. hey there's a club man it's like you. want to go. right because i'm going to meet a bunch. of people there i strictly. i don't want to go because i might i the. biggest my biggest fear in. the world is not being recognized no not. be able to get in. but they'll set it up so you get in and. that happens like we went to that. uh that remember that ramen place right. called jinya. yeah i love ginger right one the other. right the.

last week we try to go and they're like. no. you thought they were gonna notice you. and be like oh yeah yeah but we're like. they're like no. yeah but but that but with vegas you. just pay for it in advance so it's all. that no it it rings in my head. i know okay all night long here's what i. say i just hear her. no no no no no let's get the palm let's. get the hotel let's get the um room at. the palm where has the pool. you know that goes out over the let's do. it let's do it let's take a private jet. and you know who will pay for it what. george their company that's right.

their company but you know what i love. today they produce you guys we can go we. can get shin limit we can get. tickets we can see penn and teller. because they're my friends now vip right. vip pen and television sarah top. you know carrot you should must we all. know each other okay good so you and. carrot yeah right. is it can you say can you call him. carrot or i can't i can you can't i have. to call him carrot top you say ct or. california. i can call him carrot right so um do you. really play. because whenever i see him i've seen him. five times in my life i always say. carrot top you you have to.

it's weird to see the whole thing what's. up carrot top have to. yeah yeah you can't say carrot what's. his first name louise's real name i have. no idea. i've never known his real name because i. love it when you see a famous person. that has a different name. but they're like call me by scott yeah. call me by my real name it is where when. he's. when he's like hey i'm scott and you're. like you're a character. yeah that is funny that i assume you. assume that. that other person their real name it.

doesn't exist anymore. yeah it's like that guy that did our. show chad yeah chad this is really nice. i know it's not yeah tom. yeah chad and jt and he goes when i. first met him a couple weeks ago he was. like. just call me tom i don't know it's chad. now for life it has to be it has to be. but i'm not calling edge anything else. no it's the edge. it's it's right sting is sting for life. bono is bono for life what is sting's. real name. i don't even know no one cares that's. insane isn't that funny yeah at some. point you who's. what's sting's real name yeah let's take. a guess hold on let's do before you. what's sting's real name.

yes leonard yeah that's such a good. guess what. adam adam i'm going to say it's. robert british maybe yeah british think. what's. yeah let's think of a [ __ ] game. because i don't know these names. gordon matthew thomas sumner. yeah it's gordon what's cbe that's when. you get. can't cr uh um you know is that when. that you get. knighted by the queen no he has like a. probably like a cbd company. that right marijuana what is cbe.

is that that's when you get knighted. right you put c you're allowed to put. cbe at the end of your. so what's prince's real name do you know. prince's real name was um. marcus or something like marcus what was. it i don't know i what do you think. i want to go for. dude this is really marlon marlon okay. marcus marlin what's prince's real name. michael michael michael marlon what's. prince's real name. his real name is prince prince rogers. nelson.

you know how dope that is his real name. is prince that's pretty dude it's cool. that's why that guy was so cool his. parents birthed him into being cool. and he was so androgynously cool like he. wasn't gay he wasn't straight he wasn't. he wasn't a guy he wasn't a girl bro he. wasn't black he wasn't white. i went to some nbc. state i was like maybe the up front or. something like that where it was like at. a bar. he wasn't he and the bar was attached to. another. bar so the only way to get to this other.

bar is through the shitty brother that i. was. so annoying right yeah so he walked. through with his entourage and i'm like. sitting there with. there's a bunch of celebrities in the. room right like big tv stars and whatnot. right. as soon as he walked in the the music. stopped. you could hear no sound in the bar. silence and people just went. like silence somebody had died and he's. just kind of. walking through and everyone's just kind. of looking on the ground how smooth did.

he walk. oh my god it was just like he didn't. have the legs he floated he was floating. he was like shifting yeah. through the room he was going ah yeah. yeah. like that's that's how we breathe. that's how he breathed right and he just. kind of floated it. it felt like ten minutes yeah like it. wasn't slow i remember just. like i was crying he started you started. crying oh my god i was like my. lips were trembling it's prince dude i. was crying my lips. trembling yeah yeah yeah and he was. floating by. and as soon as he left people just.

started touching music. back on i feel like that's held guys. like him. can stop anything everything. everything i mean yeah and i don't think. you can have no one has that kind of. power anymore. like the beatles back in the day well. that's different we could stop. the world the world they could tell. everyone to kill themselves they could. be like. we're all going to commit suicide on the. 14th everybody would yeah. there could be like wow it could be the. first day of like some sort of marine. training. and people are like climbing the thing.

as soon as the beetle showed up they. just would. freeze freeze on the [ __ ] thing on. the cargo on the cargo thing. and if you know they would walk by and. then they would keep going afterwards i. mean they just have that kind of like. oh essence power you know sometimes you. do meet celebrities and they have that. when i. first was a pa yeah i met bradley cooper. before he was bradley cooper yeah. he was kind of still like on the come up. yeah and i was a pa and i had to walk. him to. one of the executive's offices and we. get to the office and. he was really really handsome and i. walked him there and like he was really.

nice he asked me my name and everything. and i said okay you're good in here and. then. nobody was in there his this guy's. assistant was gone and he was you want. me just wait in this empty room i was. like. uh i mean you don't have to you can go. back we can go back to the front and. he's like you have a kitchen. and we go to the kitchen and i'm not. kidding he's like um i just want to make. something to eat real fast. and he opens the fridge and he takes out. deli meat like a piece of deli and he. wraps it in a piece of cheese. and he's just eating it talking to me. but even him eating it was really. sexy i was just like watching him eat a.

hand sandwich yeah brent morin. says the same thing about him sexy dude. brett warren was. work at conan yeah and he's ran into. bradley. cooper and i guess brett moore they were. talking face-to-face. and he had the urge of just going well. yeah he was really you know okay so he. was hot dude. this is when i was shy and i didn't know. what to say but if i had this. opportunity so it's not as big as oh my. god blow that image up. it's not as big as bradley cooper so.

when i was on mad tv. we had a young actor yeah ryan reynolds. oh yeah. right so ryan was sitting there with. dick plusucci. right and who's that the executives are. mad. and dick goes bobby sit here meet ryan. i didn't know who he was really much. right but i just sat next to him right. and i was just like you don't know what. to say like now what are you going to. say. now no different with who i am now yeah. that i would be having that guy's number. in my phone. in five minutes well you'd be making.

jokes yeah yeah i would be able to get. him into my world in five minutes. but back then. yeah it's so awkward what's going on. well what what like i don't know. you know when someone comes up to you. yeah and they say hello to you yeah. right and they don't know what to say. because they're they're a fan yeah it's. the same feeling yeah you know who came. up to me today in the airport. a pilot a pilot is walking you know how. they walk like this you got a flight. attendant. two pilots are walking the flight. attendant all right with two flight. attendants and he literally we. we cross each other and he goes santino.

and i turn like i know him yeah i go hey. yeah and he goes. hey and i was like i don't [ __ ] know. this guy. but he didn't know what to say he just. wanted to say hi yeah he goes what are. you going where are you going where are. you going yeah i love it. where the [ __ ] do you think on a plane. you make them feel comfortable right i. try but it is sometimes the energy is. weird when people say hi and i don't. know what to say. yeah like especially if they go like. this dude in the bar. at the bu this is big this big jack. black dude in the bar he goes. hey are you that dude from dave and i. was like yeah and he goes.

yeah i thought so. i know what do i say you never you don't. know what to say i just go uh yeah. you don't know what to say it's me yeah. don't hurt me i guess. i hope you'll like it yeah because what. if somebody goes hey bobby lee. right you're probably league black. people do that to me you know where they. go yeah. my dog they'll give me a pound right. i'll go oh thank you. like because i want to go opposite right. i don't go yay. no no that would be weird yeah i just. play with. my [ __ ] strengths and go hey what's. up buddy.

right you think of my dog i do a little. pound. that's all i do you want to really put. them in an awkward position and they go. well my dog just bow and see what they. do. oh that's where i like that my dog. what's up don't don't say my buddy. no all right all right dog. not that no perfect no why they would. love it they go this [ __ ] is. hilarious. oh yeah but they call you stupid when. black dudes call you stupid that means. they love you yeah when they go he's. stupid. they love you yeah it's you know i love.

black people yeah well i mean especially. comics. because i just have an angle with all of. them. and it's what do you mean it's hard to. explain i'm gonna try to explain it. you're gonna say like a minority angle. no what it's a different it's a it's. touching me for a little too long angle. what do you mean like they. like no like if like i see ian edwards. or anybody or i saw finesse metro they. are there right right. and they they're happy what's up man and. i hugged right.

and i hug enough until they pull away. oh yeah yeah yeah right but you can tell. like i'm. bringing them in and they have to. physically force their wear out. black guys have a uh time limit on high. limit that's what it is yeah a white guy. you can hug and kiss me on the face and. we'll laugh about it i know i know i. don't know you can't do that to the. black guy. and i love it yeah they got to push you. because they go ah. you're weird yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. yeah i do that like. donnell oh my god like i'll like take my. fingers. like if he's sitting there in the.

mitzi's booth in the or yeah and he. knows he doesn't know i'm coming and he. thinks i'm a girl. and i'll just slightly in the back of. his head do this right. and it'll be like he thinks it's whitney. or something right and he'll be like. goddamn [ __ ]. i feel like really get angry right. because he loved it at first. he thinks that like god is watching and. when he gets to the afterlife he's gonna. be like you had seven gay moments let's. play them back. like they saved all these times when. something but it's so funny like. whenever. i have ever had like gay moments.

you it's you have to laugh them off like. when i go like when i when justin. martindale used to take us out to gay. nightclubs yeah and my. penis would get grabbed the amount of. times i was sexually assaulted in a gay. nightclub. every time i've gone out every time just. like grab my p. like and they pull on it like it's a. yank chain from a toilet in england yeah. they're like. they grab at your [ __ ] dick and you. just have to go. there's nothing you can do i was at the. abbey yeah. with my friend mike who's been there. right we're at a table. and he knows eight of these dudes well.

he's there yeah they all know each other. they all know each other right. and they're having right drinks i'm. having die cuz i don't drink right. and my knee right brushed a up against. another guy's knee. that's across me i don't know right but. you know that i have. what do you call it clubbed feet ocd. what i have to touch things three times. oh yeah ocd yeah so in my head i'm like. i gotta now brush my knee. i swear to god two more times against. his leg right. so i go one two he thinks now.

that's a signal yeah that uh like we're. gonna go [ __ ] in the bathroom yeah it's. tapping under the skull. so that he kind of like puts his hand on. my knee like this. no yeah but what do you do no i pulled. away and he goes. he goes excuse me and i go excuse me and. he goes you go. and i go oh i'm not gay and he goes i. thought you were. oh no no i'm not sorry yeah i'm sorry. but it's like but you did end up i blew. him in the bathroom you have to. yeah because one of the jokes yeah yeah.

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with not without the laughing go ahead. that's coinbase.com. bad friends yeah baby wait i want to. tell you something real fast before. i went there was a long line in the. bathroom at the airport. this image was sent into my brain it was. so hard to not start laughing. there's a long line and everyone's doing. this thing when there's a line in the. men's bathroom. they're like did you check that stall. because people have to pee so bad. they're like. because the stall does are all closed so. i'm not kidding i'm not. i'm not [ __ ] kidding i'm second to go. and the guy in front of me is like.

really antsy. and he goes and he's checking all the. stall doors well they're all red. they all like it green direct right. they're all red they're all red yeah. well one of the locks wasn't locked all. the way. oh i've done that dude i'm not kidding. he opens it wide up. and the dude on the pooper goes down to. grab his penis yeah and he just goes. like this. i'm in here i swear to god. i'm in here and the guy goes oh and he. closes the door and it's like. he did what else could he say he didn't. have to see anything we see. we see i know but what do you say i open.

the door you're pooping there's like 17. dudes staring at you now what do you say. i honestly okay so i'm pooping you're. pooping i swing open the door. huh that's it yeah. what if i then go oh and then i walk in. and just start peeing right between your. legs. you gave me the nod no that'd be weird. that would never happen i'm gonna piss. on your chest i'm gonna cascade right. down. okay okay that would never happen but if. it did happen yeah. then after that every time that happened. i would say hey i'm in here. hey i'm in here yeah but at this point. in my life it's never happened it's.

never happened before what would you say. if a girl opened the door and you were. in there. if a woman opened the door in the stall. and you're in the stall what do you say. i wouldn't say. anything you just stare right at him i. just shut the door back no you can't. it's too far away from you it's you're. not it's not that close. he was in an airport it's pushed back i. just stare. stare at him okay okay how about this. how weird. i was in germany mm-hmm maybe taking a. shot 20 years ago. yeah i was doing a commercial there. which one it's an ibm commercial that. they flew me all over the place yeah the. one with uh what's with the space one.

yeah yeah right uh uh yeah so i um. was in germany at a steam room um and i. was the only one in there. so i there's like two levels and at the. korean small where i'm. at where i go right now i always go to. the last level. because there's no one ever in there and. i'll just stand there. you stand on top of the third level in. the steam room. and just stand there like this why do. you do that. why would you stand like it's super hot.

yeah i want all the seam to be in every. orifice of my body. yeah so stand there like this right and. then three. in in germany i did this three hot. chicks while completely naked. it's mixed no it's mixed. so i was like huh. were they the smallest dick in the same. room were they cool with it no they were. just like what the [ __ ] is this little. asian guy. lost estas yeah yeah it must have been. like i thought it was a gargoyle. a part of the ambiance yeah yeah jose.

included a gargoyle inside. i don't know if that if that's true now. but back in the day 20 years. it was mixed like you would have old. ladies and everyone would be naked they. would. it wasn't a problem it's kind of. harmonious and it's better have you ever. been to a nude beach. oh yeah once you go to a nude beach one. once you kind of understand. who goes to nude beaches it's never it's. never good looking people yeah it's. never the ones you want but it is always. old dudes with long penises. they're always long they may not be. thick but they're long penises. yeah and gray long and gray yeah great.

penises. because they've got to put zinc on it so. it doesn't get sunburned do you have. that beetle sun the long and. winding road. i'm serious though do you have to put. sunscreen on your penis yeah because. would you ever go to a nude beach. no i feel self-conscious you don't have. to get naked at the beach you know that. right yeah like i went. i went and you don't have to be naked oh. then i can go bro i'd say you want to. see people naked at the beach. she's getting curious like when i go. with the nude i'm wearing armor. yeah yeah battalion now i'm wearing a.

sweater yeah yeah yeah i'm wearing a i'm. wearing a jumpsuit when i go to a nude b. i don't ever like to i also the idea of. your wiener in the sun is weird to me. i why do you want your penis isn't. supposed to have sun all over it well it. makes you but i. who told me this somebody told me that. they tanned their knots. they tan their nuts every day they'll. spend an hour in the sun. but they'll put their nuts in the sun. and it makes it more. virile no way yeah look that. up type in testicles in the sun type in.

testicles in the sun. let me go on like a testy in the sun. testicles in the sun testicle sunning. boosting testosterone. sunbathing your balls that's what i'm. telling you somebody told me that. boosting your testosterone by sunbathing. your balls yeah. yeah that's right testicle sunning or. sun in your balls not to be confused. with the viral trend of butthole sunning. which is what i was talking about yeah. yeah i'm talking about nuts the practice. of exposing your testicles to direct. sunlight. you're gonna be doing it tomorrow i'm.

doing it tomorrow morning i'm going to. send you video can i come with you 100. come back i'm going to sit out by the. pool and do it our nuts are nuts. but how would you do it though what do. you mean like how do i hide my wiener. but tan my nuts yeah because i want to. see your dick i pull i i have my p. my shorts still on i just unzip my. zipper and pull my nuts through my. zip hole go through the fence ah. i see what you're saying to put my nuts. out i'll do that too let's do that. you want ten or nuts nuts out i'm so. into it would you put on sunscreen. you would 30 15 maybe no i'm not gonna. you don't need it you you're.

you can tan a little bit right which. which which which i want to talk about. you know because wait wait hold on now. of course you might need less time under. the sun based on your skin tone. eye yeah it can cause skin damage skin. cancer but apparently. okay so you really can improve your. testosterone levels by sun in your nuts. maybe this is something i need to try. yeah huh. butthole sunning is not butthole. sounding however very different what's. the point of butthole. stunning it's really good for you what.

they get they apparent look there they. are right there look at those fellows. right there. yeah yeah apparently high levels of. vitamin d can enter through your anal. cavity. you know vitamin d is really good for. you so that's like really good to like. sun your butthole. let's see that video i want to see these. fellas full screen that papa. in a mere 30 of course that's what he's. 100 attack guys. he's the one that received more and more. are you from this. electric node see then you would in an. entire day being outside.

with your clothes on so you receive more. energy when you sun your butthole. this is so tight i'm doing it tomorrow i. swear to god i want to do this can we. get a picture of you and i son in our. butthole like this. do it yes i will honestly dude we'll. tape it tomorrow guys. okay should i come to your house come to. my house oh yeah come to my house in the. sun. yeah yeah because i get a ton of. sunlight but because i don't want your. wife to tape it. we'll have uh we'll have one of the guys. one of these guys do it okay. can you come tape us son in our. buttholes he's got kids he's not gonna.

we don't have to bring the kids no but. he's gonna tell his wife i gotta go. [ __ ] tape the guys something in their. butthole it's his job. it's my job you'll you'll check it out. so would you do well for like 30 minutes. we'll sell our butthole i don't think. it's. i think it's at 30 seconds i don't think. you're supposed to sit in the sun it. takes a while for me. you need a lot of buttholes i think so i. don't think it's gonna work right away. from me i think i have a lot of like. layers of. stuff butthole sun in yeah yeah so let's. do like 30 minutes of butthole sunny all. right fine and we'll do 30 minutes of.

nuts. no nut sunny has to be much less no. we'll put stuff on it okay we'll go get. we'll go i'll go to the i'll go to the. pharmacies go to cvs and go get. i'll i'll get the sunscreen okay i'll. get different varieties okay. right it's pretty uh rigid all right. guys. bryce can you do me a favor and get me. another diet coke like this but do the. thing like you did with the lighter to. open it. sounds good thank you would he oh just. do you know how to do that how to crack. it open no. come here i'm going to teach him don't. open i'm going to teach him there's no. way i'm going to leave. i'll break the thing will you learn. please we have plenty of those.

codes we have seven of those in that. thing hey. we got a lot of diet cokes i know but i. don't know how to i'm gonna teach you. dude that's how you do it with the. lighter yeah. i'm gonna show you but i'm gonna i'm. gonna do that that starts fights at the. house right i always go where's the. [ __ ] bottle opener no see i know here. give me the letter so i can i'm not. gonna open it you are but i'm gonna show. you the way okay. see you need to put sunscreen okay hold. on i have this one okay you need to put. sunscreen on your butthole right now. this says uh pose people right you. should be sun and you should be doing it. all right we'll do it so look grab it.

like this and there's one of two ways. you can either brace it here right i. like to brace it right here on this you. it's easier. so you just go like this and you see. you're bracing it with this yeah and all. you do is crack it up it's really easy. very very easy all right let's see it. like this. look using this look using that as a. yeah hold on let me see no no no. no no no there it is yay.

yeah did you like that yeah yeah it. worked great the boys were clapping. downstairs. hey yeah now that you're in die coke. mode what. i want to show you something this will. be good oh my god this is my favorite. stream of videos on the internet right. now go ahead there is a guy. there well there's a group of guys i. don't know the origins so i can't i. don't want to speak out of turn. but they play these pranks on each other. and you've seen this on the i'm sure if. you've seen this if you're on the. internet at all okay. but look what these boys do to each.

other. asian yeah. they put mentos and coke and it explodes. into order. they do this to each other all the time. so it doesn't explode everywhere he puts. his mouth over it to let it stop the. stream yeah these. happen it will never work and it's. funnier when it's the other way. okay here we go.

[Music]. [Laughter]. i love these guys i know but it's do the. one where they're in the car. i know it's great it didn't used to be. that's what i said when it started out. they used to do it naturally to each. other in a car. yeah they would do it in the car and. then now they do it staged of course.

look at how big that thing is do that. again dude it's so fun to watch. i know it's stage anymore but it's fun. to watch them have fun with each other. [Music]. [Laughter].

i'm gonna be in that house party movie. and uh oh you did it. no i'm gonna do it next week and then i. do it in august again wait wait so. i'm the only white guy in the house. party i swear to god. i mean if every cool black person and. then me tell me who's in the hospital. it's like. it's like they put up the they put up. the breakdown and they were like cool. black guy. cool black girl cool black guy and cool. black girl yeah and. andrew zandino and i'm like i want to. see what's in it dc.

dc young fly erie soleil uh. tosin cole george lindberg jr these are. all like cool young hip. black guys yeah girls wow yeah they're. cool as [ __ ] and we're. really funny and then i'm in it i'm in. it it's a comedy though no it's house. party it's like it's a. kid remake of comedy yeah um i would. play. i don't know are you a cop in it what. are you i'm an ex i'm one of the dorky. next door neighbors like the white like. hey guys turn it down. that's me oh i love it yeah i love it. well like you know did you see the. original john witherspoon rest in peace.

yeah one of the greatest was he in house. parties he was he was in the original he. was one of the neighbors. oh i didn't know yeah dude which is sad. because if he was still around you know. they would have had him play. as like an homage again right i love. that when actors get to come back. to movies that they first did and get to. redo it i'm actually can i be honest. with you. yeah i'm envious that you're in that. movie and house party oh yeah i'm in it. for three tenths of a second. it's not it's not even gonna be real. dude it's not it. i'm not in the movie for what it's worth. i'm like i mean there's a house party. going on.

and i'm the next i'm one of the next. right so it's like there's always that. yeah i'm always in a neighborhood movie. right totally. there's always that annoying neighbor. yeah right so you knock on the door. yeah there'll be a scene of you knocking. on the door like a cop or whatever. and excuse me can you turn it down. please yeah well i'm not gonna give i'm. not gonna give away what the scene is. but yes. but it's that type of scene right yeah. you're gonna be in the movie and it's. gonna be memorable. maybe yeah i could easily see them uh um. they're rooming me you know do they do.

you don't die in it. no but something happens to you yes. something crazy. something cool because you know it's so. funny you are you know how they. yeah yeah they reintroduced me to do. something cool at the end yeah. something crazy though so that happens. to you something that you'll that you. will go i love it. yeah i love it yeah yeah because i love. the ferris but hey. jules you ever see ferris bueller's day. off no way i knew she hasn't no way. one of the best movies in the history of. films john hughes john hughes yo. yeah tim robinson show.

i think you you should leave have you. ever seen it who's tim robertson holy. [ __ ] you know tim robinson is no oh my. god. tim robinson was a writer for saturday. night live he's an amazing comedian yeah. yeah he had a show on netflix called i. think you should i think you should. leave. yeah and the first season was great the. second scene just came out it's. i'm not kidding it's one of the funniest. things i've ever seen in my life. because you've said that before and then. i've knocked out it's knockout hilarious. here's the pro. here's the thing about sketch i'm gonna. preface this and i'll say this to our. audience too.

yeah and i loved him i texted him on the. plane and i said dude yeah incredible. the thing about sketches and my this is. my stupid opinion oh my god i love it. already. you either are hitting a home run yeah. or it's a foul ball. yeah so here's what i like about. sketches uh-huh. sometimes it's a miss yeah sometimes. it's a strikeout. yeah that happens in all of them yeah. but the ones that are home runs. are [ __ ] amazing yeah there's no. doubt i mean he and peel had some cam. people had. the classics and they had a couple of. the funniest things you've ever seen. yeah yeah yeah but this guy tim robinson.

is a [ __ ] genius and i'm telling you. dude yeah this show has some bits in it. that will you will [ __ ] your pants. they're so funny oh i can't wait to. watch it you're gonna love it yeah yeah. you're going to love it i already can. see it in my head you're going to love. it yeah yeah it's he's quirky he's great. no i just from the photo itself oh he's. so good you mean it's like oh i have to. watch that have you guys seen it. i've seen the first season yeah it's. great you like the first season yeah i. haven't seen the second i think this is. better than the first season. i i like the first season but i think. this has more home runs in it because.

what he does and it he goes through this. world of like reintroducing characters. and old bits from other. which i love you know mr show used to do. that remember same thing where you're. like oh that's that guy that's the. character from this other sketch that he. put into this sketch yeah it's a call. back. yeah it's really wonderful you've seen. it on pete yeah. bryce you never watched it you don't. have time um you're gonna watch this. hold on i want someone sent me this. video i want to show i want to show you. this real fast because this guy is my. favorite guy. do you know who kevin samuels is have. you ever heard of him do you know who. that is i don't know anybody. this guy's amazing this guy so he's like.

a. i want to preface this okay this guy is. like a motivational speaker. um and particularly he talks often to. black audiences is only like his. directive is like. helping black men and women talk open. and honestly about relationships and sex. and presentation and he's a little. uh brutally honest okay so watch some of. this. just watch some of this.

you got a big dick huh do you have a big. dick. i mean it's above average i ain't no run. jeremy no no no no i asked you if you. had a big dick i just said it was above. average. i don't know what that is really that a. big. i know i got a big dick you don't know i. mean. you don't have a big dick that's the. point you don't have a big dick you. don't have a big wallet. you're a bit you're a fat dude and you. got a lot of nerve thinking you should.

get choosing signals at 5 foot 10 and. 300 pounds. making less than a thousand dollars a. month at 20 years old. and women should approach you what they. get they don't even get a big dick. dude the other guy and then he hangs up. on people yeah the other guys are like. oh i would shoot myself in the face. people caught bobby people call him for. advice yeah and they let him. [ __ ] on them i got to see more yes he's.

i love this guy he's amazing. kevin samuel who's we a black man who's. that. who's we who who is that who is that. hello yeah check your [ __ ]. for the one person okay [ __ ] you up. kevin. really [ __ ] you up get this big [ __ ]. look at this little thing. you like me look at this little fool. look. that's why i just sat there and let her.

stupid ass talk. this is why you're dying alone guys let. us. ain't nobody rushing to try to make. that was a stray bro yeah it's endless. i've watched this. i'm not kidding i have to watch i'll. watch hours of him hours how do you find. it how do i find it kevin samuels is. just youtube. kevin samuels wait but let me tell you. one before this next one please the. funniest one i think i've ever seen in. my life yeah. he's got a guy and a girl i couldn't.

find it he's got a guy and a girl and. he's doing kind of like a match a. matching thing but he all he's really. doing he's setting them up to tell them. their flaws. to each other yeah like making her go. what don't you like about this guy yeah. and in the middle he's adding stuff. so she'll go well he you know he's bowed. and he'll go yeah he bald and he's fat. and he got big old forehead and he's. just like yeah yeah and they love it. and they take it but but is it is he a. relationship coach. no dude he is a life he is a life coach.

yes and particularly his whole goal was. like to get away from these. i deserve um uh stigmas of like. a lot of times he would try to coach. women and be like here's why guys don't. want you this is his whole thing. by the way white guy canceled this is if. this is a white guy oh. done they're gonna kill him they're. gonna count they're gonna kill him yeah. yeah yeah but but in the black and the. black community yeah they can take this. fun honesty and they go back and forth. if you said that to a group of white. chicks yeah they'd chew you yeah.

no ma'am marriage is a natural choice. because if marriage was a spiritual. choice god would be responsible for. all the divorces and he is not but god. created marriage. no he did not oh yes no he didn't okay. you're going to argue okay i know i'm. not going to you're 24. you're not going to argue with me. because one i know what i'm talking. about and i can. first of all even if you're a christian. you shouldn't be arguing with me in the. first place. are you correct were adam and eve.

married. yes who performed the ceremony. is jesus dead oh god [ __ ]. seriously i'm saying oh [ __ ] because. you're are you serious. god adam and eve were married there was. only one person on the planet it was. adam. god put him to sleep and he wrote went. inside of him took out a rib and said. flesh of my flesh.

he he made eid he presented eve to adam. they didn't get married who did their. ceremony simba. are you kidding they weren't married let. me see another one that one's okay. let me see another one and how tall are. you. i'm 5'3 how much do you weigh that's. none of your business i told you i was. fat oh okay. we don't play that [ __ ] on my channel. get your big fat ass on somewhere i. don't deal you big. sassy ass broads as an image consultant.

and as a person and a professional. there it is you can be 5'3 and weigh so. much that you don't even want to tell. somebody how much you weigh. and think you don't get a man to marry. you a high value man. so you go ahead and go on back over and. get your two-piece or three-piece or. whatever you got coming from you know. chick-fil-a or pop-eyes. you think she talked to brad that way. hell no oh i love this guy. kevin samuels kevin savage can we find a. way to connect with him to get him on.

this show. wouldn't you love that yeah it's like uh. this guy's great. he's great but it's like um he's so mean. it's wonderful. it's mean but it's not just no big [ __ ]. ass true. what do you mean because it's like this. is his five three items. let me tell you something yeah these. people the people that call into the. show yeah they they know what it is. i know i don't get it so i understand it. but i'm just saying so. i'm just saying it's like all right. there's several ways. to get a man of course all right so.

you're 5'3. right and you weigh what 200 pounds yes. fat right. yeah right but the inner skills. have to be great yeah right so for. instance. he's an imagery i know i know he's. talking about image only. that's his whole thing right but i'm. just saying that these women are calling. i can't find a man i know five three. right but shame on them they're calling. this guy. i know but there's just several i'm just. saying if i wasn't. like a consultant a life consultant yeah. right like there's two ways either lose. the weight look.

look good or become an empire. right right right right right there's. only two ways but that's not. look if no the reason kalila's with you. is not because you're a good-looking. five-foot-four guy. exactly it's because you're talented and. i have other things. i knew you make up for your flaws i. looked in the mirror long ago. yeah and and he's a young man and i went. okay. gotta better be you love beautiful women. yeah. i did i've always liked it right and i'm. not like the other guys my types going.

i'm just gonna go for what i you know i. always aim high in everything that i do. right well because if you if you aim you. know shoot for the moon you'll still end. up in the stars. yeah like for instance i came into this. business think i was gonna be tom cruise. this is where i landed yeah this is fine. by me though your tongo cruise now. right so what i'm saying is is that like. you know. i looked in the mirror and i go what do. i need to do you figured out your. strengths. i had to go i'm funny right i have. interest. you know i mean and maybe doing some.

sort of performance yeah. right i'm not a good musician so yeah i. did that earlier i was like that's not. bad. you were a good musician okay right but. it's like i think that i got to do. something so. i did incredible like. risks at risk taking like i would just. go up i have no experience performing. really right so i walked up to a club. and i just. signed my name and i waited for six. hours they called my name and i ran up. there. and i have no writing you know i mean i. didn't went to a seminar or i'd go to.

college for writing. either i just wrote down whatever i. thought might be funny. and 95 of it was junk but every week i. would just keep going and then i would. go three. four five times a week and eventually i. figured it out. and then eventually i started getting. women that were like above my. pay grade pay grade yeah right so i'm. just saying that. i know what he's saying first of all. what he's doing is entertainment. like he's just doing this just to create. content it is funny he's trolling people. he's trolling people but it's.

wonderful it is wonderful i want him on. the show i want kevin on the show. but you don't feel bad for these women. that are calling in i i didn't say any. of the mean things. i like listening to it because it's. hilarious yeah but he does this to guys. and the first clip we saw he's like you. got a big dick yeah yeah he does it to. everybody. yeah he's trolling you and by the way. that's my point is if you don't like him. or you don't like the behavior of that. that talk don't call in don't watch. don't listen right right that's my whole. point about censorship in our business. at all. howard stern has been the filthiest. mouse like here's a dude who's like i'm.

a vegan and i. we rescue dogs like dude he spent the. first half of his career being like show. me your tits i mean dude what do you. mean he's a shock guy even us. it's like i've i've read comments on bad. friends yeah. sub the worst podcast or whatever i. might say the worst you. they think were the worst somebody had. said that the worst part like. there are so many worse podcasts. unlistenable right every week. they say every week it's unlistenable. right but they listen every week. yeah oh right right so it's like it kind. of was like there's way worse podcasts.

out there good for you. my point is is that like i should stop. reading that [ __ ]. yeah 100 100 it doesn't mean anything. you know what. yeah and let me say this let me say this. because i'm going to close the episode. with something sweet. out of all the questions i got this this. past week in houston a lot about you. which was very annoying. it's very annoying because she's getting. a little bit too big for her britches. and i'm getting a little frustrated yeah. and they all asked about her because. they love you and at the very end. one guy said i don't have a question i.

have a comment i just want to thank you. and thank you guys for giving us content. every week for doing what you do because. it means a lot to us whether or not you. recognize that we know that it's. you know putting in work and time and. effort and all that stuff so to that. dude. i wish i'd give him a big hug i think. that was amazing because i we do. appreciate all the fans. i don't give a [ __ ] about the comments. positive or negative i just want to say. thank you to the fans because it does. mean a lot dude it means a lot when they. come to the shows and they're super. supportive and they're excited about. this. us doing this i mean i'm being jealous.

they're all you know you were you had. left the stage yeah and i. i literally tried to be vulnerable and i. said to and i really meant it i said. i i just i i like you guys. have recreated me that's reinvented you. reinvented me yeah. and i feel like you know i've i've had. fans before. but not this intense and personal and so. it's like when. they come up to me and they go can i get.

a photo. or i i talk to them like regular like. it's regular it's like it is. i think i think that i look them in the. eyes i thank them i say i take every. photo. and i'm and i'm just very like in awe of. it and i i and. you know i know that we do what we do. you mean as a service you know whatever. but well we love. it we get it back though from them oh. yeah dude. it fuels us and it's like it literally. is just the. most amazing life that i could ever.

imagine. we love you guys. you do it i thought you were gonna do it. with me i was doing it. let's do it really softly and quietly. because we mean it thank you.

[Music].