What Happened In Vegas w/ Dax Flame | Ep 218 | Bad Friends

pressure on it like we got to start out. strong we let's let's start off weak. okay let's start off very we then can I. say something oh God you want to open. the show oh yeah no I just want to ask. you a question okay I love question go. ahead yeah I didn't know you were on the. same list as OJ. Simpson you made a list this past. weekend you and OJ Simpson share I know. but we can't talk about leg legally they. told me oh what do you mean well we. start a. week okay all right so.

you two are bad friends who are these. two idiots a white dude and an Asian. dude you two are. disgusting you two are something we're. bad friends I'm sorry let's move on to. something else oh it's. Bullit it brings up so much bull oh just. bring up all my trauma I mean yeah let's. talk about how my dad beat me again god. well let's talk about let's talk about. what who's in the studio today it's John.

Stone John Stony John Stony John and. he's here uh joint John John the joint. man he's here because Carlos and mcon. both got the flu in Vegas and when. Asians get high they their eyes are. completely closed it's unbelievable you. know how do you drive like how do you do. that oh my God a stone stone AG driving. better more focused WID screen a stoned. Asian driving no. thanks yeah that's a pass for me I love. Stony Asians you drive better but dude. have you ever seen a meth. Asian they clip the out of bonsai trees.

do they oh my God better than Mr Miyagi. way better really yeah you don't know. that is that fact I'm not around a lot. of meth AG yeah yeah oh dude imagine if. you had meth back in the samurai days. wow one Samurai just gone crazy he make. a sword in like five minutes you know it. used to take them forever to like five. minutes yeah five yeah a sword yeah he. would cut himself right it would turn a. scab and then he would just pull it out. and eat it because meth people okay and.

meth people also can I say something. about uh any was there a meth back then. I don't know when was crystal meth. invented well I mean look we had to have. some form of this there had to been some. form floating around right yeah Chris. well there methamphetamine has probably. been around for a long time that that. chemical makeup of methamphetamine it's. all science isn't that it's all science. yeah I you know if I had a time machine. I would take fentanyl h no just hear me. out loads of it what era are you going.

back to the 17th century you're gonna go. back to the 17th century when is that is. that far is that far that's us what do. you mean how far when is it I mean there. was America was still around right no. there wasn't Declaration of Independence. that's 1800s right no 1776 1776 I come I. go 1776 what what wait an as Korean guy. with a bag of fentanyl but what from a. Time mag what what century is 1776 the. 17th century.

did you go no it's not is it 20th. century 18th century it's just one more. up 20th 19th century it's the 18 you. already said it 18th oh 1876 18th. century am I bad in 1776 you're going. back to you said 1776 that's 17th. century no no okay my bad CU Z to 99 is. one history man let me that's not. history that's math anyway I show up. whatever I I time no shut up time. machines have a button yeah so I go 1 7.

7 six right I'm sorry your fingers are. too fat for the machine no and I go go. get the um you know what I mean flux. capacitor right to Marty yeah Marty runs. up okay okay boss okay boss right stick. it in there get the electric electricity. is it is it raining yet right it's got. to rain right got to rain right I got to. bring it to 80 right put the fennel in. the fennel is in now I'm right 1776 and. I'm in.

Bakersfield doesn't exist yet I know but. I'm there well it's okay it's you and. natives then exactly I get them hooked. first oh dude you're doing what we did. last time yeah doing it again but I'll. hook am I going to get in trouble for. saying this hook does repeat itself it. does yeah I'm not giving them small pox. something way worse yeah yeah yeah F no. oh that's true no I should go east coast. Boston Boston okay stay in okay Boston. the Tea Party the tea part dude tea and.

fentel we don't even know what that. combo. does that's a great they should be a. [ __ ] little shop in France that shows. that has Fentanyl and tea anyway my. point is you like a tea with your. fentanyl yeah have green tea with your. Fentanyl and then you would make a. killing because they've never heard of. opiates yeah but money is worthless then. it's worth less than yeah but you get. like gold teeth oh you could get gold. they trade right gold tee The Wooden Leg. uh-huh I'll take you want some fentel. give me your gold tooth wooden leg and.

one of those feathery pens you can get. those anywhere I know but from if you if. you went to a bank back then did their. pens attached chains have feathers on. them. still that'd be so funny if you stole. one of the feathery pens yeah yeah so. that's not your feathery pen be. interesting that belongs to the bank. yeah yeah yeah you know what I thought. about I would go back in time with. heavily Heavy Artillery like real guns. real guns before they had it back to the. Gold Rush days and just Rob everybody. they had guns there yeah not like I'm we.

have I we have [ __ ] I could have an. AR-15 I could have a. bazooka yeah give us your gold give us. your. gold load. it right think about it dude if we if we. could go back and Rob anything or. anywhere I mean obviously you'd want to. Rob Fort Knox right that's the ultimate. goal do you know what that is of course. I know what Fort Knox is what century is. that one in we still have it that's. right what is it it's where they put the. money that's where they put the gold the.

gold bars and we know that's not true. it's not true but that's in folklore. that's where they keep alien bodies in. my opinion I think Fork KNX is filled. with uh top secret [ __ ] we're not. supposed to get to yeah because they. everyone thinks it's an Area 51 no thank. you I think it's Studio 76 Studio Studio. City Studio 76 stud 54 no Studio 54. Studio. 54 is it Studio 54 where they have the. [ __ ] aliens yeah no is it is it was. it no what is. it oh I always oh my god I've told I've.

used Studio 54 4 in reference to aliens. before in conversations thinking it's. the same thing and people have been. looking I remember go people going what. what what are you talking about I I'm. telling you it's in Arizona they go in. New York they should have opened up a. Studio 51 in Area. 51 a coked out nightclub to see aliens. dude look at this guy look at this guy's. arms. yeah you know I saw the other day on Tik. Tok too by the way someone was dis in.

how we think dinosaurs look a certain. way and she was like I'm a biologist and. she was like this doesn't even make. sense the way that they've thought. dinosaurs look or the way we draw them. it's basically skin on bone she's like. that's not that you have there's tons of. cartilage and fat and all sorts of stuff. and muscle she was like a dinosaur is. basically the shape of the bone. structure with a little bit of um you. know outlining she goes but look at your. nose if you remove your nose from your. face it's a [ __ ] hole so this is just.

all cartilage but they didn't account. for like random pieces of things. sticking off of the dinosaur so she's. like they didn't look anything like that. oh what you're saying is like we've just. guessed what we think that she they have. B nooses is that what what did you just. say do they have big noses there's. Jewish dinosaurs there. was there was you know we'll be extinct. someday and how do they hold the. money little hands.

can we get in trouble can we get in. trouble you can yeah we get got cut out. yes no Stacy's Jewish do you approve are. you Jewish Stacy I am you approve she. approves she approves see yeah it's all. in good fun it's all in good fun yeah. look if there was Asian dinosaurs let's. do that then if you want to go down the. line oh what do you mean. Aurora yeah dude by the way an Asian. just asan dinosaur is so funny to me.

that's such a funny and their and their. nails are immaculate yeah so. nice the Vietnamese did this all for me. when they swipe the prey and they're in. their hands they're like wow yeah. beautiful nails wow Asian dinosaurs we. lost a couple of our employees over the. weekend in Vegas getting too sick these. guys stayed all all night you should see. we got them pass us to the chain smokers. Mone was up next to the stage he was. wearing a mechanics uniform by the way.

they let him into a nightclub he's. wearing a mechanics onesie like a one. zip up M was yeah you know I didn't even. know that and Carlos was a good boy I. didn't know that was even a chain smoker. thing the chain smokers in Vegas you did. know we were going to see the chains. smokers we literally said it 50 times no. everyone in the room has proof I was in. my hotel room no dude you were in the. room with sheam matash and what's uh. what's the other gentleman's name that. you brought oh my go that was a n okay. so I'm going to just say something I. apologize for May I apologize for. something [ __ ].

please so first of all Vegas great. show in fact I mean I don't think the. MGM liked me but we can we can't wait to. go back to the MGM you can't you can't. wait I can't wait yeah yeah I can't go. you have to wait I have to wait so um so. you know afterwards it's our last us. show you know what I mean we may do more. in the future 59 cities is what I think. they tallied up 59 CI is crazy great.

show afterwards everyone came out I had. some friends from Vegas sha TSH who's a. comedian who I used to room with in La. 30 years ago you know what I mean she. came by she was rad so nice yeah she. opens for katop she's a great. impressionist my point being is is this. okay you have your family there we have. also you know who I love the the [ __ ]. watchmakers family Christine I talked to. her for like 20 minutes well she's not a. watchmaker she sells them just call her. a watch maker it it makes it it makes it. better watch maker watch make her make.

me a watch I feel like she has one of. those little things and she's in there. well they definitely have one of those. things okay okay what are those little. things like that they you know what. they're called what drop glops so was a. drop glop yeah mhm anyway families kids. running around it beautiful right yeah. but then a week before Paul was like. d my friend wants to go Paulie hit you. up yeah and I go all right who's your. friend I can't right beautiful woman. so I got I'll get her backstage right no.

you got her backstage I got her. backstage so as soon as I I she's a nice. lady she was very nice very nice lady. but she did something where she was like. I'm I'm going to get a k from I'm going. to I know I'm she has a number I'm going. to hear well let's hear it now she was. just like who does. this cocaine anyone well that's actually. really polite oh that's true I mean it's. but off of your finger fingernail or. finger was it her fingernail or finger. it was almost her finger was so sweaty.

it was like blotched on oh wow like it. was surrounded her pinky she wait a. couple of minutes she's like crack. anybody solidifies yeah yeah and people. are like oh no thanks like I've never I. don't know have you been offered cocaine. before yeah what the [ __ ] I've never. been offered cocaine I because maybe I'm. Sober Sober oh that's right I mean I. don't do cocaine everyone who knows me. knows that but I wouldn't I've been. offered it still from people when's the. last time you did cocaine I've never. done cocaine do you not know this my. father went to prison because he into. into cocaine addiction one time you I.

mean known me for 15 years you have to. be curious I've never done cocaine well. my dad liked this though maybe I like it. you know I met him he's a great guy you. did when did you oh in Chicago Chicago. yeah great guy no no he loved cocaine he. loved the he loved it you've never done. anything white in your nose except for. women oh uh in my nose in my nose yeah I. don't think I've ever snorted. anything I think I mean I've eaten I. mean pills and all that [ __ ] would. you you never smoke crack.

that's not snorting I don't think I've. smoked crack no I'm thinking about it. well do you. think I'll tell you what I did one time. like a [ __ ] [ __ ] what you know uh. the hookas you know uh smok and hookah. you know how they put like the charcoal. thing on there what one time I smoked. some of that like the dumbest I was like. 17 years old I think I smoke I think I. smoked the charcoal. nugget so bad we didn't know how to use. it what I'm not a desert. dude so I I just want to say I had to. try to get her it was very polite of her.

to offer cocaine I do think if you're at. a party and you have cocaine you should. offer it you do you're supposed to it's. a party it's a party drug yeah it's not. a solo drug I think but you know being a. sober guy I just can't hook up with KY. Coke people heroin feels like a a solo. drug also she was said if she went. anybody want to tie off I've never that. yeah that would be crazy that' be out of. pocket would you hold the Rope if she. was like you hold this if she was hot. like super hot hold the rope and I knew. I was going to get some action Hold the. Line I'd hold the Rope I don't think you. should hook up with anybody who is.

currently using no clearly to me I don't. you're saying that to me yes who else am. I talking to what why don't I think you. should hook up with someone who's. currently using drugs no why not it's a. it's detrimental to your to you in the. program well people drink on me I don't. care people barely drink around you in. fact we don't drink around you much I. don't almost ever drink around you ever. well you should because I it doesn't. affect me yeah but I do it out of. respect because I don't and I also don't. need to enough to do it in front of you. I don't care dude I dated a girl a month. ago she goes can I smoke weed in your go. smoke yeah I don't know why you I don't.

give a [ __ ] no you should not yeah yeah. you're hot go smoke my friend Joey no. don't smoke I'm sober hot chick SM do do. whatever you want you know what I mean I. don't care so funny if you pulled over. made her smoke weed outside then get. back. in get out then get in I don't think you. should dated people that are using drugs. actively okay that's just my opinion I. might be wrong what would the program. say the program doesn't there's nothing. in the program that says that is there. something in the program that says in. the first year or so to not date someone. in the program isn't that a whole thing. in the program well it's not in the book.

but it's it's kind of like one of those. they say do not get in a. relationship within the first year of. sobriety any relationship well that. makes sense yeah yeah you know I mean so. it's like you wait 12 months and then. you can dabble you can dabble and um. like if I was a um if I had a spony. who's sober new sober and I said um he. goes can I date I go yeah and then at 12. months I would probably go but no no one. in the progr program probably that's a.

healthy thing I think no you see a lot. of it work but it's like the worst is. when you're dating somebody and you fall. in love in the program and the next. thing you know you find that they. relapsed oh right what do you do you. relap no no you party time no you it's. hard man you have to first because it's. a disease so you can't just go I'm out. you got to go can we figure this out do. you need to go somewhere you want to. help them because I can't live you know. what I mean like this I can't cuz then.

you become an enabler yeah and that's a. completely different program you know so. it's like I think you would do like a. little intervention and then uh I think. a lot of people I've known in my life. who have gone through that have had that. predicament where they have to they're. put in a position where someone that. they're in love with or friends with her. family that they're using and they used. to use and then they have to walk them. slowly back to not using but then you. compromise your own Safety and Security. but that's a that is a cool thing to do. yeah but it's also very dangerous for. you yeah Ergo I don't don't think you.

should be dating anybody who's currently. using. Ergo what go AO you shouldn't I'm making. a good point you're H what AO AO it's. the new airbud movie it's with uh no. what is it I've never literally never. heard of that you have seen The Matrix. Argo Argo okay what does it mean though. do you know what Argo means there four. it means therefore four it's like be and. and and and to rap and to summarize wow. wow I know I was an English minor you.

were yeah you're good with. words no I'm l i i I'm. literally honestly dude I really got. stuck on arago yeah I saw your face yeah. I once you said that it put me into a. completely different panic I think you. thought it was from Star Trek Deep Space. yeah I was thinking where have I heard. that before but then like in the context. of what you said I'm trying to figure. out why that you're like what episode. did Argo pop in yeah yeah he on there go.

yeah exactly okay you learn something. new every day. Hospitality you know what that is I feel. like I two weeks I found out you just. learned what Hospitality means it has to. do with hospitals you know what I mean. no it doesn't have to do with hos I know. I KN I know that I know that now I know. that now but I never bothered to. memorize the word Hospitality because of. the fact that like I 52 years. old can I how about so when I say the. phrase hospo what what do you think I. was talking about like whenever I I it's.

like Argo I just kind of let it go you. let it go all these years it's like if. someone says base balio you know what I. mean like I was being basbo right and. you're and your mind you're like has. something to do with baseball so I'm not. going to memorize that but it's not at. all to be. bispo seems to be rude to someone below. you right right I I know that now do not. bispo someone I will not be SPO you know. what I mean but like Hospitality was one. of those where I just you know because. the word hospitals in it oh I'm not a. nurse I don't need to memorize that word.

but then when I once I figure it out. right I'm like oh it's it's it's a part. of you mean my you know what I mean. wheelhouse words now I can use it's so. funny that that he goes on a date with a. nurse and he's like so you work in. hospitality and she's I know that's what. I would kind of not really but kind of I. know that's what I honestly that's what. I but but a nurse does work in. Hospitality in a way right like Andreas. is his wife Works kind of and I by the. way I ran into them having lunch yeah.

cutest [ __ ] on Earth who him and his. wife yeah his wife is [ __ ] beautiful. smart and sweet and cool and she [ __ ]. that guy yeah I know it shocks my soul. yeah when I see her it almost makes me. mad well actually makes me believe in. God cuz something else has to be going. on well no I think here's what it is and. and I don't know much about their. relationship but this is what happened. your wife beautiful woman you know he. asked you know asked her to be in his. movie in Spain too by the way I know he.

won't let it go okay yeah we're not. doing it but my point. is your wife let me just guess. mhm through her years she dated hot. dudes there she just let me finish I'm. sure she had are you projecting whoa. he's starting a war be careful. buddy let me ask you something do you. want me in your. movie for I didn't say anything what say. my my wife dat did hot dudes yeah okay.

and these hot dudes [ __ ] her over I. mean she went under their messages you. mean there's [ __ ] messages from. [ __ ] a lot of pro. athletes right right you mean there's a. you a lot going on her heart's broken. year after year probably 80 dudes yeah. you I mean over the years thepp broken. the entire Clipper team the Clipper team. and Clipper girls right and then she she. goes to therapy or something and the. therapist well why don't you just go. low Go real low yeah go real low she she.

like how low and they go did you see the. new um JJ Abrams Star Wars what so funny. mhm you know I mean and she's like I. guess I should I ran it and she no no. I'm just going to tell there is an. animal in there called the pork and. they're these flying birds and Chewbacca. eats one yeah right there are some. humans with that body and scientifically. they don't get you know mean they don't. [ __ ] people over right so because Maria. por Maria por that she did she.

finds what are you doing what are you. doing what are you doing dude I'm I'm. doing a show right now I'm looking for. the TV's off anyway the TV's off you. guys yeah yeah anyway is that what. happened shop when I started podcasting. the doing an online store was the. furthest thing from my mind is. impossible but guess what it's our bread. and butter now with Shopify yeah come on. man we love it Shopify is the global. Commerce platform that helps you sell at.

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their fee is free unless they win for. more information go toe.com bfri pound. law pound 529 from your cell phone. that's for the people f o rth. people.com friends or dial pound law. pound 529 from yourself this the. advertisement I'll tell you speaking of. going and low yeah today I saw a bassed. Hound must have been how old was that. bassed Hound do we think what do we say. maybe 15 how old do they live I don't. even know but it was so old but he kept.

his balls in the Basset Hound cuz you. know how they're low to the ground. they're long but low his balls were. literally dragging on like Joey. Diaz they were dragging yeah [ __ ]. shcker [ __ ] shcker goad they were. dragging on the ground I'm not even. kidding they swayed back and forth and. they were hitting the concrete you like. that I thought it was cool Co I think. it's cool that he kept the balls of the. dog because I will say this a biggest. one of the biggest regrets in my life. I'm not kidding. is that we um we we we uh oh no we.

nipped up our dog I wish that she could. have puppies and I'm bummed that we did. I wish we let her have puppies you can. reverse it no you can't they can do it. with men mhm it's not the oh that's dog. it's not aice sectomy oh it's a woman. yeah man okay my bad you know it's a. woman a little tiny strong black woman. yeah black woman that's right I in my. house I have a little tiny hairy strong. black woman so she can't have babies. mm-m. that's what I say when I ask her all.

right I say cubby can you have baby she. goes not after what you did yeah yeah. but if you can reverse it what do you do. you better get you better get away from. me with that [ __ ] that's what she said. you go to a dog park and and just go go. go go no here's some a beautiful like. little well first all I put her in a. little dress yeah yeah I I I give her a. little bit of smell good perum and she. walks on little doggy heels yeah yeah. yeah and then I I set her up we find. someone we do we find another dog that's. applicable yeah no I wish we did be able. to get her puppies it kind of bums me.

out I I like to this day I'm like why. did we [ __ ] do that well let me say. something why didn't want her to get her. doggy period I get one thing better than. you h both for you I mean I mean you get. so Chinese in these moment ARO ARO ARO. ARO Hospitality. Hospitality um guess what guy what don't. do this well speed it up I will. clone you know the Clone how much does. the Clone cost cuz we talked about this. you can do it now I can clone my dog for. like what how much is it5 15 grand now. wow clone dude should we do it I mean I.

honestly let's let's do an experiment to. see if it works to clone one of our dogs. yeah I would 100% be into it what do you. guys think let's clone a dog it costs. $50,000 5 dude what happened to your. voice Barry White what the [ __ ] it cost. 50,000 why is your voice like that I. just had flame in my throat okay okay. clear your throat right now all right. now say how much it cost $50,000. yeah yeah will you say it like an Asian.

guy though please. $50,000 no they wouldn't say dollars. would they what would they say dollar. yeah yeah dollar $50,000 thank you 50. Grand that's still that's a lot of. [ __ ] money dude 50 Grand that's a. [ __ ] car I know but this is what I. would do what what and 35 Grand it says. uh cat for cats this is what we're going. to do we do one spe this is a couple. months down the road we do one special. night at the Irvine Improv mhm we do two.

shows on a Sunday you and I and is. Charity all for our dogs to to clone one. dog okay I think we can make it up then. I mean and then we we clone it so we. have people donate during the show not. the ticket sales but donate no the. ticket sales goes toward it okay so we. ask the club for all the ticket sales. because it's going to go towards the dog. dog the clothing of a dog good idea yeah. I think it's a great idea are you being. sarcastic cuz sometimes I feel like. you're not I am yeah yeah yeah very much. very much not no very much so very much. don't do there go [ __ ] you Hospitality.

[ __ ]. you even if you didn't get it out it. still was funny Hospitality [ __ ] you so. anyway yeah so uh we were talking. something before all this rant but let. me say this I tried to make Matchmaker. the other night at The Comedy Store you. could you go from to my mind is I'm. brilliant you are brilliant thanks I. tried to be I tried to play matchmaker. at The Comedy Store the other night and. dude I thought it was wasn't it didn't. it seem like it was going good so I had. all I had cash in my pocket I offered. them all the cash in my pocket what's.

Matchmaker [ __ ] what's Hospitality. what's Matchmaker Matchmaker you you try. to match two people together God Bless. yeah who though give me that information. people in the audience I'm getting there. oh so you're in so anyone listening they. get it already I guarantee they get it. go ahead two people in the front row of. the store and and and he was like a. young handsome kid she was a good-look. chick and I T just looked at him he was. wearing like a weird shirt and then I. said uh who is this to you and he's like.

we don't know each other they sat us. together we're singles and I was like. well let's I mean let's make love let's. like find love tonight let's she. attractive they both were fantastic he. was in the military. good that face was really funny no I. just you went like this good no don't. get it wrong and you're reading it wrong. and am I well then play the tape back no. I'm play the tape back and you'll see. this what. branch that's what that face was that's. not what you yes yeah yeah say it again. he was in the military what.

branch I get it curious Marine could be. a Navy site Marine Corps beautiful yeah. and I said to her I said where do you. live she says Orange County he lives in. San Diego I said this is right near each. other yeah and I said I'll give you the. money in my pocket to go on a date. didn't I say this I had a bunch of money. in my pocket I was ready to do it and I. said I'm going to do this if you're. really genuinely going to go on a date. and she went like. this oh and then they sat next to each. other for the rest of the show oh dude.

but then you read him wrong no no no no. no he would okay he was into it no she. didn't seem like she wasn't I know. you're not on can I just one quickly our. friend is not on camera and she's thumbs. me up yeah so Stacy could I just ask one. question go ahead was he. hot it was hard to see but he pulled up. his shirt and he did he had a great body. great good enough but he was handsome he. wasn't hot he was a handsome kid and she. was good-look by the way they were in. the same league oh you know B leagues.

they were both yeah you know they both. were in what league am I in uh League of. his own yeah. Le yeah with you there is crying in. baseball yeah yeah you kind of look like. Rosie Odell now that I about it well. don't lead me to water you don't want me. to drink it you're the kid from The. Sandlot which one the fat one oh [ __ ]. you with red hair s kind of weird he's a. lawyer now I think he's he's married to. my ex-girlfriend oh that's right jine.

Patrick Rena right yeah he's killing it. no that's you that looks just like you. okay I'm Madonna if we did this again. that'd be you and I'd be Madonna oh oh. if you're a if okay yeah oh they do oh. oh they should do an Oceans 11 but like. reverse and do that with that movie and. the all all men we they did Oceans 11 it. was all men no but they did a women. version of that yeah they did oceans uh. what was it 13 or something eight Oceans. Eight have to be a little less yeah but. they do. a remake A 2024 remake of a league of.

its own but like switch it to men okay. yeah but make a make a different period. 1700s 1734 whatever we said you know. what you could play some fentel a new. movie yeah you could be you could play. sh. otani's little illegal gambling friend. that just got in trouble shotani plays. with the Dodgers he got in trouble his. buddy got in trouble for gambling with. his money you could play him in the. movie You' that would be if they ever. make a movie about that I hope you do.

and do we have any big Asian friends. that are like 6'4 who could play sh who. do we know that's like a tall Asian oh I. I know who Yao Ming not our our friend. our friend I know Yao Ming you don't. [ __ ] know Yao Ming you do not look at. this that's him and his buddy got in. trouble that's you 100% on the right. that is [ __ ] that's not me dude yeah. it is that's you if you were in Japan. that is literally what you would look. like if you were Japanese how did he get. in trouble he was gambling a fuckload of. his money what was the total it was like.

45 million of wait he was gambling the. baseball players money sh's money yeah. wow now here's the real story was sh. drunk no no no go ahead I don't care. yeah here's the real. story who knows whether or not Shi knew. if he was gambling or if he was with. gambling with him and then this guy took. the fall wow oh I see roughly uh. $160,000 per bet that's so that's insane. you know who was going off the r you. know who was betting like a crazy what. did I talk about this already with um.

the at Vegas Brian bomgardner from the. office who played. Kevin him and a bunch of guys were at. the High Roller table he can gamble that. [ __ ] had Stacks and stacks and. Stacks and stacks of chips he can play. multiple hands you know doing the quick. thing it was impressive to watch and. then I saw that and then they were like. hey come sit down I was like I'll go. find the $20 table I wouldn't I'm not. going to yeah what the [ __ ] yeah I. $3,000 so like dude guys around them.

were betting 3 to 5,000 a hand no yeah. did he make that much money on the. office yeah Blake Griffin Goes those. residuals must have been real yeah I. mean yeah he must have I mean if he was. a showrunner I think maybe but it's like. that's a lot of [ __ ] money dude yeah. five grand a hand is W but also maybe. he's that's his [ __ ] gambling might be. his thing but if he's good at it and he. can make a profit then okay well then. that's the his thing he was killing it I. guess if I go 250 300 I'm out I go to. bed $300 yeah I've seen you I saw you.

win one time you won $100 on a on a slot. yeah and that made your whole weekend I. know I'm I'm out you know I mean you're. going to lose in the longest get a Jolly. ranch or whatever go to sleep you. know charie yeah yeah look at his head. so you saw him yeah he played in the. golf tournament that we played was he. nice great guy yeah yeah great guy great. guy great Gambler everybody was nice. I've met a couple of people from that. show I've never met Steve Carell have. you.

like I've been introduced to him one. time to say hello but you know what I. mean one of those like hey Steve this is. I've never even seen him in the flesh. that's CU I've never SE I've never seen. will frell In the Flesh I've seen him in. the flesh I used to coach uh kids soccer. and his kids would come to the I. remember you told me that and he would. come and I was so on my little Squad was. Ryan Philip's kid with. um what's her name what's wrong with me. yeah ree Witherspoon wow their kid used. to be in that too you see R go hey Mr. Philip Philip no I didn't say a [ __ ].

word oh you quiet stared at my shoes oh. I know don't I've been I've been there I. just didn't want that cuz I was a young. nobody actor and I didn't want to be. like hey I'm trying to be I didn't want. especially cuz he's hot as [ __ ] what do. you know about soccer though they're. [ __ ] children kick it run go go no no. no no there's like tactics not when. there're you're defensive midfielder. they're five what they're five they. throw the ball right back help out me. attack but then you fall back left what.

what do you do the goalie you don't know. [ __ ] the goalie would be the goalie. would be. eating she would just be put down the. sandwich I all right oh women girls. mixed it was boy boys and girls doesn't. make no sense what the [ __ ] are you. talking about makes no sense have you. ever seen kids play. sports no 5-year-old kids they throw. them all together they let them go I. used to be a lifeguard was just kids in. the pool did a few of them die why yeah. big [ __ ] deal why kids that's not why.

it's because you like. anal I told you you can't make kids in. the pooper I've told you that like 100. times you have too much sex with girls. in the butt I've never. airgo you don't have kids okay wow. you're using it in a sentence see thank. you so keep doing it do it three more. times throughout the rest of the podcast. and then I'll learn it's a beautiful. thing but but what but what I'm saying. is is that how. Hell Oh I thought they were saying hi. when I'm asking you is if I have a child.

okay little you know what I'm going to. be the best dad. imaginable okay will you quit doing that. what I'm just I didn't know what that. means like like you're praying that he's. going to be alive or what is this I just. have an itch I'm itching my I hope he's. not nervous tick okay if I have a child. and my my son goes and my goes my son. goes. Papa I go don't call me that. already why already weird why are you.

being mean to the kid he's just saying. Papa I want papy I'm the kid Papa yes. little. Gilroy why did you name me. Gilroy well I don't know Shane Gillis. half right and Troy Duffy he's a. director love yeah so and where's Mama. oh Mama she's in Hawaii let's me leave. it at. [Applause]. that she's somewhere in Hawaii let's. leave it at that son yeah guil Troy are. you ever going to get me another mama no.

yes cuz some of the [ __ ] you bring. over are grow Carlos is not a [ __ ] and. they off Carlos and they offer me. Herrera is cocaine and I'm seven Carlos. offers you cocaine that's why you I. could never have him as a babysitter. okay but I would look at you guil Troy. and say ask me if you want to play. soccer can I if you can play soccer Papa. papy but Papa's fine. puppy okay may I play soccer son let me. tell you something. yes he's such a PO yeah he's such a.

sweetheart he's too sweet no he's he's. too sweet make him a little bit more. [ __ ] up no be nice to him it's his kid. oh it's your kid it's my kid my kid. wouldn't go yes sir all right ready yeah. I'll be your kid ready all right Papa. yeah guil try I'm playing soccer this. weekend okay you you may I know I may. you have to take me son relax calm down. no shut up I want fruit rollups I want. sliced up fruit and you know what I want. want Swedish fish only the red one okay.

first of all look at the cabinet look at. the storage cabinet in the kitchen right. we got every flavor of fish fry fish. right all the things you mentioned are. there roll off all of it you know what. Papa what Gil no Hospitality in this. home yeah you don't even know that wor. we're not doctors ARG go [ __ ] you Dad. yeah we're not in Star Trek all right. all right so you're right maybe I. shouldn't have one no not after that. experience holy [ __ ] you know what you. could have I'm your son you are my.

little son no let me do it hey. buddy yeah what's going on it. burns what burns little. guy my heart your heart burns why does. it burn and in the left lung area oh wow. that's pretty specific yeah and it's. like a. pinching oh it hurts are you having a. heart. attack oh you just had some gas yeah I. got you daddy H you're. funny right you're funny I'm good huh.

and then I go in the other room yeah to. my wife yeah we got to return that that. Chinese kid be adopted we got to get rid. of that guy it's not working out he. feels like he's Bobby's kid yeah yeah. blue y y y y I'm an old man you are. really old but I still want a boink if. you want a Boer you know what you got to. eat but it doesn't work as good anymore. here open your mouth Bo.

hey blue wants to help you have better. sex discover your options at blue.com. chew it and do it you know what it is. all right yeah bluechew is incredible. look a lot of us needs a little bit of. help a lot of us need a little bit of. help bluechew is unique online service. that delivers the same active. ingredients as Viagra seis and Levitra. but in chewable tablets and at a. fraction of the cost can you take them. anytime you can take them anytime. anytime day or oh can I also I'll tell. you another thing that I know discret. packaging oh yeah nobody knows what. you're getting when they ship it. it could be you know um like those those.

balls that you the metal balls whatever. Chinese stress balls whatever and if you. want your Chinese stress balls to be. less stressed out you got to use. bluechew bluechew tablets are made in. the USA and prepared and Ship Direct to. your door and a discreet package because. it's nobody else's business you should. try it why are you waiting you guys I. honestly this is from Bob Lee Dude I do. use it it works it's so great it's a. blessing straight from the Lord go ahead. sometimes he takes them before the show. I don't really like that but blue wants. to help you have better sex discover.

your options at blue.com chew it and do. it we've got a special deal for our. listeners try blue for free when you use. our promo code bad friends at checkout. just pay $5 for shipping that's blu.com. promo code b a d f r i e n DS to receive. your first month free visit blue.com for. more details important and safety. information we thank blue for sponsoring. the podcast don't would you would what's. wrong with the kid soccer thing that you. were hung up on they yeah they play mult. Unis here's what I'm hung up about okay. okay so it's like my son would know. right my my son is raised knowing the. Arsenal code gooner code Yeah the gonner.

code okay he would know about the. Emirates he would know about artetta he. would know about the players formations. what are what first of all arsenals like. Barcelona were. tiac tiac football pass pass pass pass. pass pass what does it have to do with. kids playing with other kids what I'm. saying is my son if he's going to play. anything he's we're going to bring him. to he's got to be good but at 5 years. old he's just going to be thrown on the. field he's not he could be a prodigy. because let me say something um Bayo.

Saka was from the um the Arsenal Youth. Academy he was 11 when they found him so. but he started at 5 so at 5 you can see. he was a miracle you're a miracle all. right I'm sorry thank you you're welcome. I mean that's a but my say my but like I. want my kid to be the best at whatever. he does but you don't want him to play. soccer with other people I would call. around also DNA has something to do with. that too yeah it's got to come from you. God it's it's you you know you know it's. it's funny it's funny you know by you.

saying DNA is basically saying you're. fat poppy no that's that's what you're. saying you you're fat sloth-like lazy. creature you I mean who barely you don't. even walk you Slither holy [ __ ] St in my. mind oh my God yeah you Slither like a. snail you [ __ ] Abomination and let me. say something I come from everyone. listen here now corre stock real good. stock my dad was very athletic my.

brother's. athletic was ranked number three in the. four in the nation as a wrestler my. brother was in high school Google that. no don't Google it I just made that up. don't do this well don't do that don't. do facts don't do not facts we're comedy. this I make [ __ ] up all the time yeah. but you're taking a stance as if you're. being serious that's true all right so. what I'm saying is that I want my kid. just to I would call around LA County. you what's the best young male soccer. league and You' get him in that a and.

and I would see if he was If he if he. doesn't have the skills or the ability. then I would go like oh let's just go to. the local place what if your dad let's. say what say let's say your kid says to. you. papa. Gilroy I don't want to play soccer okay. well what do you want to do I want to be. a. cheerleader I want to I want to be a. male cheer ler okay um Gilroy put your. room for a second okay okay and then.

what I and then I'm on my couch and I I. put. my [ __ ]. SAR okay [ __ ] anyway knock knock knock. knock hey Papa can I come in Gilroy come. on in all right I come oh my God what's. all with the glitter you want some ow my. eyes again. anyway anyway there's guys there so many. unicorns in this in this room look at.

all the pictures of the boys on my wall. those are all cheerleader. boys okay you want to be a cheerleader. mhm okay um I make some phone calls. thanks Papa and I called Justin marale I. don't know where to. go I would call a gay friend that I. don't know I don't know who to go I. would call Fortune fster yeah yeah. Fortune you know anything about. cheerleading. no she's like hell no h yeah yeah. doesn't know yeah what would you like. what if Daddy yes yes son yes.

Marcus thank you for nameing me mar you. got it kiddo what do you want Marcus I'm. not done talking why you always. interrupt me Marcus speed it. up Daddy I just want to be able to. express myself and get it out what do. you want to do anyway Daddy yeah Marcus. you know I just I really like um killing. small. things like I go on the for and I see a. little squirrel and it takes scissors I. like to chop his head off while it's.

alive because so I can see it wiggle in. my hand you know what I mean and then I. just like squeeze it and I drink the. blood out of it I love it so much and I. like the B the bones I like the bones of. these little creatures Daddy and I like. to make little skelet toid creatures out. of them myself rather I destroy them. myself you. know hell Satan daddy H. Satan go to your room okay Dad you mean. my coven go to your coven I'll go to my.

coven all right and I'm going to go. inside my little. [ __ ] and then you go to your room and. then I go lay in bed with our my wife. your mom yeah and I turn oh you're going. to go lay in bed with again hey hey hey. hey hey hey hey. [Music]. hey what would you do she's reading a. book yeah yeah I turn to her and I. say I think we got a winner on our. really wow sometimes sometimes you have. can't control it I've seen it on Tik Tok.

you can't control what your kids do yeah. you can't control no matter how good you. are as a person no matter what values. and ethics that you relay to them right. sometimes God gives you cray cray. sometimes God makes a serial killer. right someone had it had to come from. something well speaking of which we have. somebody here who who we'll introduce. Our Guest here one second we just had. our guest walk in the room put on your. head if you want a head headphones you. can have them do you want headphones or.

no they're right there on them recommend. them yeah usually yeah okay introduce. yourself to uh our audience if you don't. mind I'm Dax flame and um I'm a YouTuber. and um and I'm happy to be here and yeah. I think you guys are you're uh very. funny and you're very funny and I think. you'll have awesome chemistry and thanks. forting me I love this guy Dax I [ __ ]. love you I've never had I saw you on the. internet and I was like I got we have to. have that guy on the show okay cool. where are you from Texas what part yeah.

um a a suburb of Dallas do you miss. Texas no okay is everything bigger um. no yeah so let me can I ask you some are. you seeing somebody no So you you're an. actor too right um yes I haven't acted. anything for a bit well actually I uh my. friend makes movies on YouTube and stuff. Joel Haver and so I've been in those um. but haven't done any Hollywood movies. for a bit I was in Project X which was. filmed right down the street from here a. long time ago so I was passing that as I.

came up I don't want to dock did that. give you trauma no no that wasn't a bad. experience for you no you say like you. went by it like it was a negative thing. it was a good thing right oh I went by. where they shot it yeah but it didn't. make you feel some did it make you feel. something um no nothing at all were you. the star of the movie uh uh I'm the. cameraman like so it's like a found. footage movie oh right right so yeah I'm. like the guy who's filming everything so. you see me some some people say that I'm. like oh there you are yeah yeah yeah oh.

you were young then yeah that was when I. was 18 18 you came out here from Texas. to act yeah yes you always wanted to be. an actor your whole life no no what was. the what was the impetus uh doing. YouTube videos um yeah doing YouTube. videos that made you go I want to be an. actor yes and then you did that then you. did 21 jum Street and 22 yes yes how was. that awesome does anybody on those. movies that you didn't like that you. didn't get along with. not one person on there you didn't get. along with but what happens you do 21 22.

right you do you know mean the X right. and then you did you stop going on. audition did you not want to do it. anymore what like what uh just it slowed. down um it slowed down for a while and. then I just didn't get any more movies. um and so then I was working at an ice. cream shop in a sushi place for a bit. yeah then uh have just been doing. YouTube since the pandemic yeah and then. now I've been doing some like Tik Tok. and Instagram real to where I I kind of. stopped talking about those movies.

online oh my bad oh no uh just on my own. Tik Tok oh I see yeah okay the rumor is. you called Channing Tatum a. [ __ ] that's not. true or uh no that's not true um no I. don't know who spread that around but. man yeah that's a bad rumor well you. call Tanning a [ __ ] Channing Tatum. Channing Channing. um a [ __ ] ass hoe you call [ __ ] ass. hoe um no he didn't do any of the any.

where was the ice cream shop you worked. at uh it was called ample Hills they're. closed down now ample Hill if I walked. in there like and I came up to you at. the you were the register guy yes uh or. I would scoop and then ring people okay. let's let's play that I come in okay wow. cool little ice cream store would you. like any samples I I'm not up to the. counter yet but. okay hi um this ice cream store yes oh. cool. hey were you in 21 jum Street yeah nice.

to meet you nice to meet you wow you're. working at a ice cream store this crazy. y yeah yeah what's wrong nothing. okay anyway hi are you going to order a. I I know there's a line I'm so sorry I'm. so sorry I just would like to order is. there way I can get a maybe a selfie. with you uh yeah of course but let's. order what what do you recommend um oh. my God it's ice cream [ __ ] get. something there's a l ma' ma'am I've. never been at this ice cream store and I.

don't know I don't want to just get. vanilla and he's also a [ __ ]. celebrity so I heard he's in a project. Tri xx movie or something gross just. take the photo get the ice what flavor. do you recommend I'm sorry this lady. behind me I'll recommend you know these. car ooy gooey buttercake and you know. what I'll give y'all both a free that. was my nickname in high. school Ooey oey. buttercake I'll take one of those okay. and it's on me today really thank you um. what are you doing after work sorry. ma'am hold on just going home oh you. want to hang out smoke some weed uh I.

don't smoke but sure I'll hang out with. you are you Bobby Lee. yeah I am you know my work yeah yeah. yeah cool I so what time you get off uh. s seven s it's [ __ ] 3 I'll wait okay. 4 hours can I order please yeah go ahead. [ __ ] God God hi. hello I want to try one of everything. so I'm I'm curious because I'm.

fascinated by you we saw you on the. internet we were all talking about you. Carlos was saying how much he loves. you you you you you did you did you did. have like a a run of film and this is. like a real thing in Hollywood do you. think work slowed down because you. didn't really want to keep going as much. or did it just kind of the organic I. definitely wanted to you did yeah well I. want it to happen so we need to we need. to work with him oh I want to work with. you I I want I want to work with you on.

something cuz I think you're [ __ ]. great good good actor nice nice guy I. just don't like the way that the thing. happens all the time because for us. we've all had you know it goes up and. down and up and down but it's. fascinating how like you've done much. larger movies than either of us have had. have done that's true 100% 21 Jump stre. [ __ ] massive now did you see. residuals that were good from that for a. long time yeah that's what I lived off. of until I was working at the ice cream. shop m. wow does it hurt though but like like in. your mind you're like I was in movies.

and I'm I mean I don't know oh does that. does that go through your mind or uh. well first I did a a food delivery job. and then I I was kind of like I was kind. of feeling like okay yeah I was I used. to be in movies and now I'm doing a food. delivery job is does that like mean. anything and then I was once I was. working at the ice cream shop I know. longer had that mindset yeah that that. went right by you yeah yeah and then I I. I had an awesome uh assistant manager. there Stacy shout out to Stacy where at.

D place and good co-workers oh wow I. love your soul I love your soul and then. one day it just closed and you were. bombed probably huh no I I hated it I. hated the shop oh wait wait that makes. sense wait wait wait you loved everyone. you worked with yes yeah you love the. customers yes yeah I didn't get a. promotion I had a lot of frustration by. the time it closed they're cut my. hours sorry. to ample Hills if that's still a place.

like because they started in New York. don't be don't say sorry don't be sorry. to them you they [ __ ] say what you feel. about ample Hills they're very delicious. they have very delicious ice cream check. it out but go go GL let's go at. corporate go ahead but I didn't enjoy. working there and get get your [ __ ] [ __ ]. you go ahead yeah yeah no I I I hated it. yeah uh and um yeah get into it I'm I'm. the CEO when well hello my name is Bill. Gilbert uh Gilroy screw you Bill an yeah.

Bill oh he just screwed you yeah yeah he. just said it do it again to him hit him. hard screw you oh wow you screwed me I. employed you and by the way 21 Jump. Street. sucks you're going to let him say that. stuff to you I'm you little you little. punk I'm a CEO don't ever talk to me. like that what are you going to do about. it you little punk your ice your shop. went out of business you were bad bad. business person La uh maybe you're. succeeding in New York but you failed.

here oh o look at this [ __ ] guy [ __ ]. you you little white Punk little [ __ ]. Punk um you're never going to work again. what do you what else you got to say. uh no. nothing wow you got to fight okay okay. um you got to [ __ ] fight man screw. you I hate you and. oo uh let's see you're a [ __ ] dude. in the middle of a fight to to say let's. see is maybe the funniest thing on I.

know you nice [ __ ] you you're a nice guy. let's see thank you you're are such a. sweet Soul what do you do on your. channel on YouTube I am trying to figure. out what to do so I've just been trying. to make new show ideas and um and on Tik. Tok I've been doing lots of I've been. doing I actually tried meet stand up. comedy for the first time or you stand. up for the second time I did one other. Open Mic before. oh this is great push just push push. pause on this real quick John John so.

high he's just looping it while we're. [ __ ] chatting all right so here we go. we got to get our old guys here we go. okay you introduce him you're the host. of a comic. Club hey got that's my time this next. comic unbelievable such a funny dude. you've seen him in such movies is 21. Jump 2 jump Sho 22 Jump Street Project X. so [ __ ] funny Texas own Dax. [Applause]. flame hello thanks for having me um so. do you want me to do some jokes. um let's see.

I this is the this is these are the. jokes I did at the comedy. Place let's we're doing the audience. thanks for thanks for having me I hope. you're doing great so do you ever have a. social inter a social interaction you. wish you wish you went diff that went. that you wish went differently so for. example the other day I was in line at a. grocery store and a guy said I could. like go ahead. um basically I was in this line the guy. said go ahead and I said like something.

to him that he didn't realize like that. was a joke so I was like okay that just. happened um and then if I had a. genie uh uh if I had a genie all my. wishes would have been used on things. like that long ago um speaking of Genies. uh how do those lamps work is there like. a giant room in there is it just asleep. until it's rubbed or whatever. um this is good this is so good um keep.

going and then um uh my exgirlfriend uh. okay U my ex-girlfriend used to get. headaches a lot uh not my fault I. promise um and um that the whenever she. would get them she would get really mad. at me because I'd be like. uh let's see oh I'd say don't worry it's. only in your head and she'd be like no I. really have a headache and I'd be like. no literally it's just in your head.

uh and then um I had this joke kind of. let's not let's not give away all the. gold okay I I want I because we are. going to have you on a show yeah we're g. to have got come show come on a show. stand stand up show yeah yeah yeah can I. can I do an experiment with Mr flame. here real quick yeah do yeah may I all. right so look so this is what we're. going to do it's like we're going to do. stand up on the spot okay so I'm going. to give you a topic you're just going to. riff don't even think about it yeah you. just riff about it right okay my mind. goes blank when I try to do that but I. will try you're going you know what in.

in improv it's only yes there's no no. that's right you know that right all. right so here we go beef brisket go. ahead beef brisket is one of the most. popular things about like barbecue. dishes and I'm from Texas so uh people. like to eat that but I never liked. barbecue. so. um. um it's good it's good. okay really good dude really good we. we're what do you.

do I'm a uh I'm a financial. analyst what do you think about. that okay. um I don't. know but my wife my wife works in a uh. she works at a cemeter right babe she I. do she does embalming she does embalming. what do you think about that there's got. to be a lot of Mr comedian Dolores. Cemetery my grandfather's buried there. what's the funniest thing you've seen.

there huh what's the funniest thing. you've seen at a on the audience but. everything I've seen at the C day is way. funnier than your act I'll tell you that. right now says the crowd you suck. whoa burn how do you own a Heckler oo o. are you asking us or yeah. oh how many followers do you have half a. million yeah 500 thousand now because. the past two months have been really. good I hope it keeps [ __ ] growing. hope it grows too yeah I really like you.

man I don't know what about your eyes. you catch me good thank you no I mean. not a good thing oh okay yeah yeah it's. not a good thing what do you mean it's a. great thing no there's something going. on with your I'm I'm sorry can I may I. say some stuff yes there's a sadness. okay no I'm so sorry may I go here or no. you can do whatever you want but I I. like our guest I no I like it dude let. me just say this before I ever say what. I'm going to say I like it a lot Dax and. I think that you're a talented guy and. I'm just happy to be a pleasure as all.

mine okay so then well it's a pleasure. to meet you a pleasure to be here okay D. how old are you 32 what's your. biological name what's your what's your. birth name um well I don't most people. don't know my first name and I've always. just been reluctant to say it because. like what if people like find my address. or whatever ah but people know my middle. name uh which is Madison oh I like. Madison thanks but your eyes oh yes may. I go back to the eyes yeah yeah I mean. God I want to know your first name so.

[ __ ] I me too I think maybe we'll guess. if we're if we guess it we would you say. can I show you my ID and then you don't. yeah we won't reveal it on the show yeah. we would never do that that's [ __ ]. awesome yeah you not you don't have a. wallet just throw it to me there's no. cam cameras will not up there's no. there's no wallet those guys won't do. anything bad you don't okay we should. buy him a wallet maybe yeah can we get. him a wallet we got your wallet oh wow. what that's not what I thought let me. see that's that's wild. what are. your yeah I mean it's like it's almost.

like a puzzle so is your what's your. middle name James Young Young yeah yeah. cool what's where how did you get this. name um I think it his last name might. have been like a great grandpa or. something I'm not sure are you Italian. uh I don't know well I I took a DNA test. uh what did it say then a lot of things. yeah okay are you black uh no Korean are. you Korean uh no no Asian uh no Jewish. uh that was on there yeah yeah yeah are.

you proud of that uh yeah happy Passover. Happy Passover I I no one I know. celebrates I mean uh like friends do but. like no one no I didn't grow up with any. celebrating of that or anything so. you're against uh Jewish holidays no no. uh no I just don't have never done that. you don't like them you don't want. participate even though it's your. heritage I think they're awesome you. sure yes okay what's your favorite one. Passover that's your favorite one and. you didn't celebrate it even though it's. your favorite no or Hanukkah yeah that.

hanukkah's. better I don't know actually so you. don't you're making mockery of it it. sounds like you're mocking it. unintentionally if so if I am I'm sorry. fine well she's Jewish I would apologize. to her if anything yeah is that. offensive what I. said sorry I mean I feel like you're Mak. I mean you spit on her. drele it's verbally spitting on the is. what you did I see I. see do do do you think all people are.

equal uh yeah I don't feel I don't buy. that when you said that um insane let me. throw you this back here let me see. ready let's do a. little nobody thought that was going to. happen by the way nobody in here thought. we were going to make that work and we. [ __ ] did we connect on a different. level thank you let's get into your. dating life so when's the last time. you've uh been with somebody uh that's a. forward oh okay let me rephrase it yeah. please he's new you're a friend oh you.

know what excuse me and you know let me. say this I'm so sorry when you're in. this room you're a bad friend family we. you're a friend of ours really we don't. want so just relax and also if you want. anything cut out we'll cut it out so. feel free seriously anything we don't. we're not a gotcha podcast okay okay so. if you came up to us and says hey guys U. I don't like that I don't want that part. in there like the Jewish part for. instance just you know then we would cut. it out do you want us to cut that out. was that uncomfortable if you think it. was bad I do you think it's bad I didn't. either I don't know no there is no don't. look at the jew yeah don't look at the.

jew that's cut that out that's even. worse don't cut that out yeah okay just. cuz she said it was all right so um. when's when's the last time you had a. girlfriend no can I've had one. girlfriend in your whole life and. whenever I did that standup joke about. my ex-girlfriend that a hypothetical I'm. going to say this to our fans if there. is a a nice woman here in Los Angeles. who's interested in our boy uh please H. up the Pod cuz we'd love to set you up. on a date I think I really your energy I. think you're smart and you're sweet and. you're cool and for some reason. something in my world wants to know you.

help you work with you I don't know what. it is but I like you a lot you know him. and I have some projects okay awesome. are you excited about them not really no. not for all of them no some of I mean. this one is great cool yeah this one's. fun but you know we will um keep an open. mind and have you in our thoughts I'll. put you we'll put you in something I'll. just say that's what I meant to say well. you're saying it like a you know CEO. well I'm saying it like with what you. know I mean we'll put a pin on pin in. you oh like a studio ex a studio EXO.

we'll put a pin in you did you ever get. close for a rle and you didn't get it. that you really wanted yes what was it. we are the Millers oh to be that kid huh. yes and then this Ryan Gosling movie his. directorial debut uh and then you got. close on both of these and the watch. those I was the runner up for all of. those oh [ __ ] yeah that's the story of. Our Lives huh yeah runner runner up yes. yeah are you going out on auditions now. no no do you have someone that's going. to send you out or no uh not I I don't I.

haven't gotten an audition offer in like. four years or so why why I need to fix I. want to fix this I don't believe in this. fix it I want to fix I want to fix I. need to fix I want to fix I need to fix. you I need to fix what is broken with. you I need to fix what is broken with. you I need to fix what is broken with. you with you what do you think that was. good thank you you want to get involved.

in the song I need to fix I need to fix. what is broken with you I need to fix I. need to fix what is broken with you I. need to fix what is wrong with you. melodically I need to fix I need to fix. what is broken with you I need F. yeah very good dude very good I mean a. musical Thing could be something that we. could now let me together I know I have. an inkling you don't like to hug uh like. if I came up and gave you a hug you.

wouldn't like. it no yeah no why well it's I it's fine. actually if I yeah it's it's fine but. maybe like I'm telling you I'm going to. give you a hug when you leave well in. fine yeah well I also in the Italian. culture right when you when you meet. somebody for the first time it's got to. be a 10-second hug or it doesn't mean. anything okay we're supposed to kiss on. the cheeks if I'm honest honest in Korea. we kiss on the lips sometimes with. tongue but that's you know depending to. stranger yeah yeah on 100% South Korean. kisses on the mouth North Korean does.

tongue yeah you're lucky he's from South. yeah if you have a tongue do they chop. it off if you kiss the wrong way you. know you know anything about North Korea. um just not. much it's a fair answer it is a fair. answer are you on the apps which ones. dating apps uh I yeah hinge hinge is it. working I I don't use it enough um like. I don't me message or swipe uh but I. that's how it works you know yeah you. have to do that to like when you turn on.

the car you got the Eng banned from any. apps have you been banned from a dating. app no he has why did you get banned. three of them why lied about his age why. lied about his. age how old am I Dax do you. think uh 45 40 45 okay. hey if. yeah okay 52 52 okay awesome how tall do. you think he is because he lied like 36.

I watched something yesterday where you. said 53 and a half that's. right one of your episodes that is right. okay so before you came here you kind of. looked at familiarized with yourself had. you ever seen the show prior uh not the. show but I have seen y'all clip yeah yes. did you know of us outside of this show. yeah um my friend Lisa Nova well I. haven't talked her in a long time I love. her she was on TV with you I know I know. Lisa very well uh I knew her from back.

in the day wow have you talk she's she's. disappeared almost yeah I haven't kept. she in New York but I ran into she made. she made much much money yeah and left. she was on a you she was a YouTuber. right she started maker and then solded. to Disney for like 500 $600 million. that's good that's a lot of money it's a. lot of money when you ran into her you. think maybe Lisa Donovan yes yes yeah so. uh so yeah I had seen I had seen you. familiar with me you don't know who I am. uh yes I do know who you are give me a. couple of things he's done um this is.

weird uh it's fine we can cut it out if. it's weird but I want him to answer what. that Ricky stini yeah yeah yeah would. say it again he said Santini oh I love. it Ricky sanini Rick Ricky sanini I'll. have't give me give me something else. but. then. um like just lots of awesome Clips yeah. well I love you you know what you just. endeared me yourself to me do you all.

have a rivalry no we don't have it's. great Bob cre a fake. fantasy bobb's riding off of Mad TV for. a long time it's an a awesome credit it. was yeah God bless you I knew there was. something about you dude and you and I. dude we're back in it aren't we we're on. that wagon okay and we're we're going to. the sunset dude it's amazing I'd like to. think and. right yeah is it good I think yeah yeah.

do you like Matt TV no. okay I was more of like an SNL guy SNL. is a great significantly better quality. than Matt TV. um when did mad is Mad TV is not on. that's right no yeah one of them is. still on yeah what you just did there. now because you wanted to combat him cuz. I knew how you felt but what you did is. you went you went you went you know what. I'm going to diffuse the situation I'm. going to go this way and I liked what. you did but at the end of the day I know. how you feel okay thank you and thank. you so much Dax for being here and I'm.

going to say something I'm going to do. something for you man something deep. provocative maybe some [ __ ] we'll see. you're going to give him some [ __ ]. we're going to help him okay what what. if he doesn't want it if you don't want. it it's fine what about a hug one of. your hugs one of his Good Hugs. no I might be wrong but I think maybe. you could be. a reoccurring guest on this show uh I'll. I'll come back anytime did you drive.

here yes okay good you have a bike uh I. do do you bike often not anymore for. some reason so you rode a bike here no. okay have you ever fallen off the bike. uh I do have a scar on my chest from. biking into the back of a. car you know I would like to hear that. story Mo on I know before we move but. can I Al well I don't want to talk about. your I'd like to hear that story uh it's. pretty much just that I just. car the the car was parked and no one. was in it and there was a gas tank on.

the back that popped open too it was. leaking gas but I just went down to the. beach and asked a lifeguard for. something to put on my how old were you. 17 or 18 here here in Southern. California and you did this to the. Lifeguard uh well I just told him that I. had a well no what just you did this so. how did you lose focus and hit a car did. yeah um well I didn't lose focus I think. my foot slipped or my hands spped and. then I by the time I got it back I. slammed on the brakes and then skid it.

and and it was I was going too fast or. something you know so I just say I want. to say. something you ever watch porn with dudes. like this you're saying about his penis. size is big gigantic yeah it's got to be. yeah and guys that have a little bit of. um the same body structure everything. about it yeah the vibe Vibe do you like. trains um I like being okay I like I. they are very peaceful to go they're. nice yeah am tr but you're not going to.

go to a train station to look at them. yeah yeah yeah you look like you like. trains that was interesting that's so. good well because I feel like he has. interesting hobbies yeah yeah yeah yeah. what is. that know do you like. marbles what do you no dude I feel like. you have marbles in your pocket right. now no I like I I do like TR going on. trains but I have no nothing to say. about do you know why you like train so. much yeah they're very peaceful yeah. they [ __ ] are aren't they the last.

time I was on one uh it hit someone also. like speaking of yeah hit a person it. got delayed I didn't see anything but I. got delayed and there was a jumper well. I looked at an article the next day or. two day or two later and uh they yeah it. just said that someone got hit in the. arm and I think they were fine oh they. were alive usually somebody jumps okay. my mom used to take the train every day. when we moved from Chicago to the. suburbs and maybe once a month someone. would jump in front of the train so it. would delay her work day okay real. frustrating when someone takes her own. life and and inconveniences everybody.

else's kill yourself on your own time or. yet. don't what I agree with you don't kill. yourself true true but also if you're. going to do it don't make it hard on. other people true do you know what I. mean what's your favorite meal to eat. what's your death row meal you ever play. that you know when someone say you're on. death row what your last oh this is a. good question maybe uh well smoothies. are like the thing I have most um but in. terms of like if there's no money limit. then I'll get like good it's your last.

meal bro Sushi or steak sushi sushi or. steak you do both yeah both what kind of. meat are we talking what kind of steak. I've usually just get sirloin well I was. vegetarian for a while and now I've just. been eating everything again now you're. back on the beef I bet you have what's. the best steak R Steakhouse you've been. to. uh Damons I think it's called is that. talking about the one in in in uh in. Glendale yeah that's a really good one. that's the one I told you to go about.

it's like the it's like the the tiki. theme talk oh my God I love that place. it's a good place I love it who you're a. you're a foodie huh uh D Damon is so. [ __ ] cool I've told you to go there. I'm going to go you're a foodie um yeah. I guess I I I don't really know many. steak places no but do you like you you. you do like to go out and eat at fun. places uh yes but it but the restriction. you said the Smoothie thing is it that's. a is that a health thing or a financial. thing I just love smoothies right heyy.

yeah we do too I what's up dude we we we. do them pretty often what kind is it. it's called none of your [ __ ]. business no it's a fair question it's. called chocolate I didn't know that's. why I said chocolate lover yeah we like. it's chocolate and peanut butter um I. would like to go to we Spa with you okay. would you would you that is I would not. get naked no something told me that that. wait. stop stop I'm very offended by that by. the way why because it's like you looked.

at me and you go I will not get naked. but it's almost as if you said I will. not get naked with you no with. specifically with anyone so except for. someone you're interested in. romantically this is the border that. he's I know but what I'm saying is is. that we're not the we spell is it's it's. um there's a communal place where men. and women congregate okay. hospitality there go there go right and. then but in the in the we have to first.

get naked and put on the we St clothing. so you wouldn't get naked with me. putting on clothes I would go into like. a bathroom stall if that's possible yeah. that seems pretty fair oh that's insane. did you ever play sports as a young lad. but I wouldn't be offended if you wanted. to. undress and would you look at my panis. uh no okay even though I said. look uh uh if go hey dck look accient if. I know what you're doing then no yeah. okay you're giving him the keys to the.

castle you're letting him know what's. going you may come in yeah yeah the mo. whatever come in come on in do you ever. Chew. Tobacco have I tried smoking a cigarette. how was that uh interesting I guess yeah. do you have any interest in chewing. tobacco want to try something uh I don't. think I'm interested in in that. smart are have you tried it chewing. tobacco yeah yeah yeah yeah he's tried. everything you've tried everything once. except for guys you've that's the thing. I think okay that's fine I I was a kid. but let's not bring that up again it's.

weird well I mean you you bring it up. more than once in episode well youve. tried guys and I haven't and you said. everything once it's making our guests. feel uncomfortable because obviously he. doesn't like it no I I don't feel. uncomfortable of all this guy said he. was a Democrat he's open for all this. stuff you're you're cool with a marriage. yes I think that's great open borders. right yes yeah free healthcare for. everybody MH and what's the last thing. we always say trans women and Sports and. Men Sports there it is yes yep very. good I want to know what you don't like.

what are things that bother. Dax um traffic. um yeah that's it oh there's been a lot. of construction on the apartment unit. next to mine for the past like two weeks. and it's like just waking up to like. banging and grinding and stuff yeah you. live in Hollywood uh no uh in uh 2 miles. east of Hollywood so in your mind when. you seeing hearing that what are the.

thoughts that go through your head you. want to kill. them no no be honest we're all Pals. here right right right and your mind is. like I take a [ __ ] of my Shir you know. what do what do you think uh uh no no I. I don't think that okay what do you. think that. um this sucks yeah this. sucks is right it does. that sucks you don't have Revenge. fantasies am I the only guy in this. building that has revenge fantasies yes.

mhm yeah yeah the way yes yeah John no. he's Korean hey back me up Revenge. fantasies sometimes I picture myself. going back to my bullies and beating. them up yeah dude that's what I'm saying. and I picture I have fantasies like that. you don't have fantasies people that. harmed you you know what I mean like I. should have done this you know I mean I. should have take a bear trap and chop. their [ __ ] leg did anybody bully you. um as a young person anytime anytime oh. sure there's like internet hate comments.

but I'm just immune to them at this. point there was recently um this isn't. bullying but like two days ago I was. getting out of my car and someone uh. like honked at me well I got out of my. car and then I went back into it to. scoot forward to give them more space to. park that's and they honked at me as I. was getting back in like BEC they didn't. uh that was annoying. that was not bullying though no no.

yeah. yeah yeah yeah I mean think about I want. I want I want a day I want a day with. you yeah days I want days with you. okay can we do this I think we should do. a camping thing would you go camping. with us. yeah have you ever camped uh. no and have you ever lived up the.

land lived off the land like in what. like forging for berries killing. something and eating itach I can teach. you about that stuff okay like fish have. you ever gone fishing uh yes oh but have. you ever done it without a rod do it. naturally with a spear I can teach you. about that too y y'all are big campers. well no we do it every weekend every. weekend yeah pretty much without fail. huh where well Big Bear last last. weekend that was fun and then sometimes. we'll go just to we'll just go to. Riverside and just Camp right in. downtown Riverside yeah yeah sometimes.

we'll do that I could hand trap. squirrels now with my eyes closed to be. honest with you you should see what this. guy do squirrel it's unbelievable he can. follow a squirrel just like in sonar. like a like a dolphin yeah just the. sound yeah oh dude yep 450 km away du. West up the tree that's the thing when. he squirrel hunts he does turn Canadian. but for the most part yeah and I can. also just I can get on my hands and. knees and I can tap with my finger right. and I communicate with.

earthworms is that pretty cool like that. is awesome yeah did you all get into it. together well when we were in the war um. Desert Storm We Were Young you know I. mean I was in the Army he was in the. Marines and you know I was a Tracker you. know I mean I tracked them those. bastards those [ __ ] dirty bastards. man they're disgusting. disgusting they're the Real Enemy. they're the Real Enemy dude worms worms. you not see what they're doing to this. [ __ ] planet you see Dune yes yeah. they're going to rip us to Pieces rip us. to Pieces man we're done yeah we're done.

for and if you think that that's not. what's really going on that's the. government that's the government finally. telling us the truth the truth and it's. like tap tap tap tap you know what I. mean I'm saying please please don't I. just bought this house do not because. when they come out of the earth destroys. buildings you know what I. mean yeah but my point is is this so. what else we go comping so we every you. know the our fun trip though when we. went to the rainforest in Brazil God. that was so fun oh my we spent a month. in the rain fls in Brazil and we observe. the birds of paradise wow mating rituals.

do you know much about it we lived with. a tribe half of the time yep and then. every weekend yall go camping pretty. much yeah if we can do if we can do uh. and we you know we do it alone. style oh I've seen that show yeah so we. do it with really nothing okay awesome. yeah yeah so we're going to go out there. with maybe uh no tent youan we can build. you me our own Lodge I'll say this again. you're inside these walls you're a bad. friend for life you're a friend of ours.

thank you yeah yeah yeah don't be scared. of us okay no because in here we want to. protect you there's nothing about this. place that wants to you must have to. have to pee real bad right now huh no I. did think about that and no no luckily. uhhuh you know last I want to share. something with you last night last night. I did made a. mistake so that you know that blue thing. that vibrator I have that wrap it on my. dick the vibrating thing thank you for. being a bad friend. yeah.

wo. wo. woo. woo yeah.