We Rented Out Six Flags | Ep 109 | Bad Friends

uh today we are at where are we bob. we're at magic mountain we're a magic. mountain and six flags because rudy. wanted to go right right rooney rudy. yeah. are you excited no. why not. once you're locked in you're just. nowhere you're gonna be fine. you're gonna be totally fine and guess. what only what do we say like four or. five people a year fall out of the rides. or they die before that but they also. said that it's the deaths are over for. this year they've already all the people.

that died on roller coasters already. died this year also because you're on a. roller coaster you get to get heavy. faster so if you have a heart attack you. get to heaven faster yeah so when you. show up to heaven you're like one here. you're gonna throw up all over this ride. what does this say. don't eat cheese rolls before going on. the right. [Music]. [Music].

if you want to pay. so. [Music].

[Music]. [Music]. [Music].

what do you think gills. it's so scary but i thought it was gonna. fall. yeah it was fun though right. it was kind of fun. yeah yeah i told you. i don't like when you're doing it i know. but you still look fine. dude my beanie fell off and i caught it. in the air yeah. i caught my benny beanie in the air so. then i had to do a one-arm thing.

i heard the loudest scream from your. cart was it you. yeah. when it goes upside down and you go. you didn't love that. oh my god it was so fun that was so much. fun that was fun though. where did we go now which one do we go. through. [Applause].

you two are bad friends who are these. two idiots. white dude i'm an asian.

[Music]. we're bad friends look at this i have to. [ __ ] hold it look at we paid what do. we pay 90 grand for this thing look at. it dude look at this watch. great yeah i know what the [ __ ]. this is what do we pay these guys a. bunch of money and i was like hey it's. not their [ __ ] fault man yes it is. ultima is the worst uh in the in terms. of products it's like ghetto stuff can't. taste this is great. this is great it was carlos's revenge.

yeah did carlos do this. revenge no i mean look at this thing. that looks great. watch watch this will fall like the mics. it'll just start to go if your attitude. right now is like no i'm in a good mood. um what a day we had i won a big tiger. today i'm so excited at six flags and. all it took was for me to ride. five roller coasters back to back to. back to back to back well i like to talk. about they gave me a tiger right there. next to rudy jewels and i'd like to name. it because it's my tiger and i want to.

name it. noodles noodles the bengal tiger all. right. i'm really into truthisms. and i'm oh trythms. and for me i have proof. we have right proof right that i. won that tiger i'll tell you what. happened. we're at matching mountain today we'll. talk about it but um. and you know how they have those. games that you can play is that what. they call them carnival carnival games.

let's see it right here kearney games. carnegie games let's take a look at this. out. that's why you have to throw me first. try i've never done this before right. this was unreal unreal look at this [ __ ]. look at this [ __ ] right here. la dodgers here i come look at how. excited i am. you have no idea what you just did no. because i think i have to do it again. look at me. here's the thing yeah bob had no idea.

bob thought you have to hit it you must. have to hit it twice right did you think. that rudy or do you think if you hit it. down once you get a prize. hit once you get a prize okay because. bobby was like not impressed he thought. you got a this must be a fluke well no. because thing i've never won anything. ever what do you mean you won my heart. in terms of like carnival games well. i've been to del mar fair i've been. doing so many different carnivals dude. i'm a carnival guy you're a carnie yeah. yeah yeah i'm a carny without the meth. and sometimes with them yeah sometimes. with them and then yeah and um i never.

wanted anything and and also the cameras. are on and i'm with. matt mr man. the man man. you no oh because during the rides we're. like my dick's too big for these rides. we'll get into later time out we'll get. into later we'll get into later that. your dick is too big for these rides. some of them yeah there was a couple of. black dudes i saw they were fine. but both of them came off the ride like. this oh man. so um. it was incredible what you did i was and.

i was like but the guy was stunned yeah. actually he looked right at me he was. like i have to go to the warehouse now. and get the [ __ ] thing there's an old. guy named michael there he is right. there let's show let's show him so. michael we said. he couldn't believe it. oh didn't get it down sad did not get it. done. yeah but michael. michael uh. this dude he he was so confused. that wang came up and did something you.

you know in his mind whose way i'm. speaking as michael oh all right right. old man white guy michael was like that. you know what look at him he's like. you ain't gonna do nothing over here. no check this out our connection he was. a prospector. okay and back in the day right he worked. with chinese people for the railroads. that's right right so that's we have. that connection going so he's like i'll. build you i'll build you some railroads. chinese man yeah you got dynamite detail.

go ahead i know mine. did you like him rudy look at how. entertaining rudy is right there in the. background let's pinch and zoom out just. out of it yeah. get me the [ __ ] out of here but timeout. let's let's get away from this let me. say first of all congrats that was. amazing and we won and what's the name. of the tiger. i don't know um. noodles it is. no noodles it is. dumpling. does it have to be asian well you're. asian and it's a bangle type. okay because i'm korean bibimbap.

so that's bb bop all right. you've had that before haven't you yeah. it's like rice in a bowl with oh so i'm. gonna tell people how magical today was. now let's cut two a couple of years ago. three years ago right. jules and her um. family. fancy what what fancy. you don't know her mom you don't yeah. her mom is um you can fart on her face. and it's fine and she likes i've done it. before and she likes it okay so we take.

these you know to um to disneyland right. and. they're too scared to go on. space mountain. oh my god it's not even a real it's not. even a ride does it go upside down pete. would know no it doesn't go upside down. it just goes straight. and and sometimes it goes. a little bit yeah a little a little it's. like walking down the hill going up a. hill yeah you could do that hiking it's. barely hiking right. and then we went to a california dream. and is that what it's called. california california adventures. all right [ __ ] you're an american.

citizen i'm gonna let you talk to me. that way okay. yeah so um. they refused to go on the guardians of. the galaxy ride. it's too scary for them is it. i don't like the drop so i was really. scared boy oh boy did you get drops. today kiddo so then two days ago i just. decided you know because it was a poo. scandal. so at our house there was a piece of poo. in the living room i looked at jules and. i said clean it she goes you clean it. and we did a stalemate and it was there. for days and whose poo was it mine.

that's why she didn't want to clean it. it was my pool no it was one of my dog's. poos i think stubbo could it be stubborn. probably stubbo. and i picked it up eventually it was. hard as a rock it was stunk like a. [ __ ]. and um how many days how many days had. passed before the poop probably three. days yeah that pretty seems yeah yeah. and i thought i'm gonna. punish her. so i go we're going to magic mountain. and and when i said that it was almost. as if you said i said to her pick up. this machine gun you're going to ukraine.

and it was that her face she was in i. couldn't sleep last night. yeah i slept like at 4 00 a.m. wait why because you were so excited. you're scared scared and so we made a we. made an agreement we said um. you have to go at least three rides. right not only did jules go on three. rides. she went on four rides four rides we all. went only on four rides and we got the. [ __ ] out of there did we do four or five. we did x2 tatsu.

viper riddler riddler that's it right. that's it four rides we did four [ __ ]. rides but we did but by the way because. we had the fast pass we did four rides. in like what three hours yeah three. hours unbelievable timing not only did. you do that you did it like. a brave of a pro. absolute professional and i am so proud. of you i really am let's give it up for. rudy jules let me ask you something. jules. would you go back again yeah i'd go back. again you had fun. yeah i had fun after the first one okay. the first one we did to be fair bobby.

bobby and i did put her on the what is. that scariest most intense ride you go. upside down and backwards yeah and and. it swings it's swinging so it rotates. over itself yeah. it's called x2 x2 x2. sponsored by mountain dew mountain jews. x2 yeah and you did that are you a jew. jump on x2 yeah and then i thought the. scary was tatsuya. yeah and this is one of my favorites.

look at her little legs are shaking look. at her. oh look at that i love panic. they hang you up like a piece of. clothing yeah yeah they put you away. away like a shirt in a closet. and look at that dude look at that. you go. unnatural honestly yeah. that was the ride bobby said this when. we got off you'll agree i bet. it was the one where if an accident. didn't happen did happen. it would happen on that ride like it.

felt like the the thing that was holding. you in was just just your shoulders well. you're you're facing planet earth yeah. you're facing planet earth beautiful. it's beautiful that's beautiful right. but not when you're way above it i mean. you know i love that because i'm a. weirdo i know but so. when you you think. if this just detaches your life is over. imagine if this just click. especially this skinny one my sister my. little sister said to me yeah my sister.

and her best friend came with us and my. sister turned to me and she said this is. this is not going to come undone right. right. she got real nervous and i and i said no. i promise you it won't yeah but then. there was a moment in my mind that i. thought. that's gonna be so shitty if she dies. and i promised her yeah it wouldn't if i. said i promise you i love you you're my. sister and then it does and she dies. would that do i tell my parents would i. say something i'm going to tell your. parents that he promised her you. promised that she wasn't going to die. she died so you have a really bad son. but if she would have died.

i would have to face her family but you. said this and we talked about this at. the park imagine the rudy bad friend's. funeral would be so fun we throw a party. are you gonna go to the philippines. we would have it here i'm not going to. that's not going to the philippines. why why. what what i was born in the philippines. yeah but you live here now this is the. real life this is real this is that's. your pre life. you know that's no that's that's before. you start to get to live yeah you're not. living there i want my ashes to be.

thrown on the ocean no we have an ocean. right here we have a lake in the. philippines let me tell you something we. throw it hard enough in the pacific. ocean it'll get to the philippines. eventually or a river right that will. eventually get into the ocean i got it. what we'll spread some of your ashes. here in california for us we'll put the. rest in a little bottle or something and. put it on a boat to the philippines. it'll get there. they'll get to do whatever they want. with it but we won't be a part of it. so you'll get there i also will probably. relapse. i'll relapse and do a keith richards.

i'll mix your ashes with some cocaine. and snort it and snort it. what okay so you're inside me and that's. not weird is that weird. no i feel like that's not i'll brush my. teeth with you i'll i'll mix you into. some toothpaste yeah yeah i'll shine up. my roots oh i know what i'll do you know. what i'll do i'll play i'll go i'll i'll. play pool and i'll i'll use your ashes. as a little cube. as the chocolate chocolate right what. else would we do oh you know what i'll. take out gymnastics and i'll use it as a. powder. i'll use it as a powder and sweet uneven.

bars yeah what else you know what i'll. do i'm gonna i'll i'll work at tortillas. the bakery and i'll mix in your ashes. with the flour the dough dough and then. we'll have a delicious disgusting. disgusting pie okay yeah yeah are you. happy are you happy with that okay good. what would you do with my ashes. well we wouldn't burn you. oh you could be a lot we would keep you. in fully intact yeah and i would sit you. in that chair yeah i would sit you in. the chair just like that and i would. stuff you like a [ __ ] stuffed animal.

yeah just so i could look at you and i. would still podcast with that. i would just have your body there and. i'd podcast right but underneath the. table you would have kenjung. yeah yeah mouth yeah yeah i would have i. have well any of the koreans i know. they wouldn't know the difference just. [ __ ] my body just use any other queen to. say it's me oh we're gonna [ __ ] your. body oh good good. because there was a doctor not a doctor. it was a doctor back in the 1900s and he. had a patient who was a young girl and. she died from some sort of like.

flu or spanish flu or something like. that right. and spanish yeah and he quit. being a doctor. and they. they never found her corpse. oh no yeah and then like 30 years down. the road. the sister found out where he was living. and they went upstairs and there was her. sister still and he had like. what. what do you want what reaction do you. want from me. i think you'd be hearty. yeah but he did some things you know.

what i mean don't do that. i don't want that to happen no it's. gross i would never do that to you yeah. and i'll take good care of your body. when you're gone. i'll take better care of your body when. you're gone than you do while you're. alive. oh really yeah think about it yeah. although although i want to say. something what i want to say something. and i've said it to you multiple times. this is a fact and you'll you'll agree. you'll attest i've said bob you're. looking healthier you're looking better. than ever didn't i say at the comedy. store and you were thought i was talking. [ __ ] in the main room and you were like. shut up and i was being serious and what.

happened today at the park i posted on. instagram a picture of me and you and. the green lantern and every single. comment yeah i read them bobby looks. amazing bobby you look so good it was. drug weight. and only about four of these were girls. but still. but can i say this girls have been. looking at me again are you getting. looked at yeah before they were like. it was almost as if no. no it's not like that. no it's more like you know. you know.

we have a visitor from a different. planet. so we have to you know. we're scared we're a little nervous but. now it's like. i penetrate that are you getting [ __ ]. you getting those they wouldn't. penetrate me yeah they would yeah they. would yeah you'd be a little peg yeah. yeah. maybe their clits can go in my butthole. that's kind of cool actually yeah new. world it's a new world yeah yeah there. was a lot of mexicans there huh yeah. we're in [ __ ] valencia bro i know i. love them though i [ __ ] love magic i. love mexicans mexicans are the best but. there's also a lot of.

what's a nice way to say white trash. what is a nice way to say white trash. what do you call white people that are. white trash do you know what that is no. i don't i don't i don't know what to. call them. white trash are like uh filipinos for. the asian community. stop i just killed you. no. one guy remember he goes bobby lee and. he you know when you pound somebody it's. just a handshake he hit you his hardest. right but he said it was like thor and. hulk are punching each other and that.

fist it was terrible so look at this for. white trash uh no there's really nothing. at hillbilly ooh. lay woman. peasant urinated oh untrained eye. i don't know there was a look. white trash is an interesting thing it's. a mean thing to say but um. you you know who you are no no no let's. describe to me what a white trash person. is. if i have a mullet okay let's uh let me.

tell you what makes white trucks and by. the way i like white trash people i'm. not [ __ ] on them i'm saying they're. present when you have. when you have a poorly drawn tattoo. that's a pretty big giveaway like a. really poorly where it's like it was. done by a buddy in a garage with a bic. pen yeah and the motor from a [ __ ]. like an rc car or something. yeah yeah that's like a white trash. tattoo yeah and that tattoo is probably. of that person it's the girl that has it. yeah it's not her daughter yeah so bad.

tattoo um teeth bad teeth really bad. right really bad now in terms of what. they clothing clothing yeah for sure. clothing is always like really really. long basketball shorts it's always the. basketball shorts that go down to their. shoes basically they look like pants but. they just didn't make it they'll go to. the mall and go to like they don't go to. the journeys and get their shoes they. don't go to the mall oh they don't they. go to wherever they got it i mean okay. yeah right yeah and now in terms of. education does that have anything to do. with it what'd you what is that.

education. what is that. they don't have anything they don't have. no no no so they have no interest of. like you know i'm gonna read um. read no i'm just saying i'm going to. read the invisible man because i want to. know about you know the black people. they'll read an invisible book. [Laughter]. so here's the deal. white trash. are solid good. dope people yeah. the fabric of the fabric of america i'm. just saying you you know when you know. him when you see him yeah who else is.

gonna work at the jiffy lube who else is. gonna get you that big plush style when. you knock over a few blocks with a right. you can't you're not going to do that. right i mean pete might actually be the. guy that does something like that. yeah don't you think pete in an. alternative life would have been a guy. that worked at six flags. i'll tell you why not because this is. the first time when i would because he. picked us up so i had to listen to these. two talk in the front. she was asleep on the way back we were. tired yeah we were exhausted and um emmy. i literally pete just kind of peaked my.

interest because he was talking about. like. sergio leone films and like you know i. mean and he was always recommending me. good movies and why movies are great and. then he was like i went to film school. which i did not know did you they that's. how they all these all these guys met. right didn't you guys all meet didn't. you meet in film school did you meet. george in film school no i met george uh. previous job like oh oh maker a maker. maker yeah but maker was a. collection of guys that all went to. similar film schools into the same kind.

of network of people right would you go. to film school so i went to uh uc santa. barbara but they went uh fancy george. went yeah they went to the real one. you went to a [ __ ] ass one yeah up. in fantasy what directors came from uc. santa barbara. i couldn't name you one okay polanski i. think didn't roman polanski. fancy did anybody super famous come out. of your school catherine bigelow. catherine bigelow yes who else uh james. magnull. wow. that's that's actually like are you.

making this up or do you know this to be. true i know this to be true and who else. is from there. andres rosende of course who will. unequivocally become one of the best. directors of our generation i put my. [ __ ] name on it right now i hope so. ship station oh my god i love online. shopping buddy you do you and we have an. online shopping business here at bedford. right here we got merch on bad friends. and we got to put out some new merch. soon and when we do we use ship station. with ship station you'll never worry. about shipping again andrew never make. the switch to a solution that handles.

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love better help it's wonderful look. relationships take work a lot of us are. going to drop anything go out of our way. to help someone we care about but how do. you treat yourself do you care about. yourself bob because. it's important do you know why i love. myself i hated myself but during the. pandemic i accessed better help yeah and. it changed my life dude therapy did. change your life and that's why we we're. advocates for it on this show we're big. mental health advocates for taking care. of you you take care of yourself we hit. the gym you have time for a haircut. you're trying to eat healthy go to magic. mountain you go to magic mountain with. your friends but you need to take care. of your of your head up here better help.

is online therapy that offers video. phone and even live chat sessions with. your therapist you don't have to leave. the comfort of your own home it is more. affordable andrew than in-person therapy. and you can be matched with a therapist. in under 48 hours how many days is that. i think that's two two days i'm not good. with time yeah give it a try and see why. over two million people have used better. help online therapy this podcast is. sponsored by better help and bad friends. listeners get ten percent off their. first month at betterhelp.com. bad friends that's b e t t e r h e l p.

dot com slash bad friends. i'm white rubbish which is fancy trash. cause you said something at magic. mountain that kind of triggered me it. triggered what did i say. you go keep up guys. and we're like only like 50 feet behind. you i wanted to go i wanted to get i. know but it's just like and i and i turn. to someone i go. this fool wants kids imagine that's how. i and you know what my kids would be in. front of me they'd walk in front of me. like good kids you're just miserable. well you're slogging along behind with.

your [ __ ] jeans on your leather shirt. and you're making someone else carry. your prize because you were so lazy you. couldn't do it for like 10 feet. 10 minutes. what the [ __ ] it took us six minutes to. listen your sister who i love by the way. is the opposite of you and she's here in. the studio give her a round of applause. your sister's here and uh she's great. they came with me. quite a day she volunteered to. carry my. prize yeah everybody enables your. [ __ ] behavior that's the problem.

i didn't go can you help me i was just. struggling with it i understand that's. your that's what it is you put this on. other people. make it obvious that it's heavy by the. way it's not heavy pick it up rudy with. one hand go ahead pick it up with one. hand there you go not heavy she's. [ __ ] jacked by the way what do you. mean wrong look at her arm dude flex. your [ __ ] muscle i'm not. it's like a. toothpick so let's say this not only did. rudy kill it on the challenges of going.

on three she wanted to go on more if we. stayed longer you would have gone on. goliath you said you would have gone on. it. no. no not superman i wasn't gonna make you. go on superman although i'm [ __ ]. pissed you didn't go on that with me so. that's the one i don't think i'd ever. want to go on why it's so funny because. i don't like. going all the way off no no it doesn't. do that. it goes to the top and it clicks no it. doesn't it goes up and then gravity. pulls it right back down so you don't. you you don't slowly go up and then get.

dropped it well you go super fast and. then it goes until it can't go anymore. yeah and then you drop back down and. then how many times does it do it. twice i think it's only two times at. once is it only one time even better. oh you know what i promise you the next. time i'm there we go together again i'll. do it again tomorrow morning can we go. no but she wants to go back right. would you go back yeah but not this week. maybe next year all right next this week. let's go later this week.

next year the only reason rudy could go. is because she had she was on spring. break yeah while other kids are out. doing bumps. partying at lake havasu you know what i. mean motorboating tits doing backflips. off of rocks you were with your uncles. your what do you call those guys to them. um acquaintances what do you call them. well she calls them you call us tito's. and what are they they can be quiet yes. is that is that ants no they're brothers. like older brother. oh okay we were uncles yeah.

and i don't like being called tito so i. said call me mr lee from now on because. she won't do it no we're tito's. you want to be a tea dog i love it i. think it's such a term of endearment. that she's given us but check i know. what we can do though one time i went to. magic mountain. and david cho's friend. had bought it out. ugh right i would do that how much does. that cost i don't know but i would love. to do one with a bunch of comedy. comedians that honestly. well you probably have to do it at night.

right you have to do like it was at. night yes all the rides were open what. does it cost to rent out six flags magic. mountain i would 100 do that yeah it but. it seems like it's a hundred grand. no way yeah really the employees getting. all the machines to be working i think. so man every ride was open. a hundred grand an hour. a hundred grand for an hour yeah. so if. holy [ __ ] we do three hours. 300 grand. do you want to start a gofundme to see.

if we could do it this is what we do we. do a gofundme right and we do a bad. friends party. and then okay check this out yeah we do. a gofundme yeah and anyone that. contributes more than a hundred dollars. is obviously invited. really yeah two hundred fifty dollars. five hundred dollars five hundred. dollars five hundred dollars you donated. okay you heard it here if you donate a. thousand dollars. yeah per person three hundred thousand. dollars play paid to the pay for the. whole thing let me tell you something. yeah if we have a rich. saudi uh.

like prince that watches the show. wherever you are i know you're out there. please do this for us. and we'll do anything for you and i mean. anything yeah we'll do a show we'll do. anything. if a saudi prince said uh i'll give you. the money but you have to come and be my. [ __ ] slave yeah would you do it i would. say what was that actually your mom your. mom can [ __ ] [ __ ] me with her [ __ ]. that's saudi cliff buckets yeah what if. okay what if this saudi prince.

bumped into you somewhere. and was like come back to saudi with me. and be my princess. i give you a hundred million dollars he. seems cute there you go that's all it. takes right but once they heard the. number you're not allowed to drive. women can't drive inside our river can. they still not drive no i think they. just were allowed to a couple years ago. they did just got changed you can only. drive like a scooter or something but if. you if you like stutter or misstep. anything verbally they're allowed to. stone you to death in the streets.

yeah if you make one mistake they can. give you two gum and you're not i. thought i was gonna be a princess yeah. but even princesses have to pay yeah you. know what i mean can i sleep all day oh. yeah that's a good thing yeah she would. probably i guess that's kind of what. that thing is he would probably forget. about her yeah i have other girls yeah. he's all the girls you're not my only. princess and he might like walk in the. room 10 years later and go oh you're. still here oh good still here yeah yeah. and she's just sleeping yeah did you. know the kim jong-il's dad. okay sick kim jong-sik so not kim.

jong-un ill sick yeah kim jong-sik he. was watching some korean movie. right and he goes i. i want to. i want her. so he just captured her and his favorite. director and then just because he wanted. to start his own film business because. you know the ooms and hills and they all. love. film yeah right and she just had to do. his movies out there. for like years. that's all it takes huh he just captured. her she was just like you know at her.

course is she free is she free now she's. free now this is in the early 70s or. whatever oh right it's oon's father yeah. yeah so it was a while back but. it's just unbelievable these people. would that see i could see you doing. that if you were a dictator oh i would. do all kinds of [ __ ] dude you would be a. bad boy oh yeah i would have like julia. child and tom hardy and i'd just be like. just [ __ ]. just watch them yeah yeah and i would. like just um i just have mayonnaise just. put it on my body while they're doing it.

and i would just slip like you know i. have a slip with mayonnaise like a slips. and slices slip and slide yeah. [ __ ] slip slips hey. just go right back. yeah. my. my mansion would be made out of vicodin. oh should you pick a wall off or just. lick it. yeah. what else would i do i would i would. have like. i would have like x2. x2 inside the house in the house the. roller coaster inside that i would never. use it what would be in your water. fountain what liquid would be in your. water fountain blood.

blood what would be in your water. fountain your fancy palace. um. i want. can it be nutella. oh a nutella water fountain very cool. nutella not practical but i like it yeah. you're gonna have to clean those lines. constantly but that's not your [ __ ]. problem you're a princess yeah what else. would you like in your castle that this. saudi prince is gonna give you harry. styles where just he has to be there at. all times yeah he needs to perform. every day. every day what time what time does harry. need to perform i wake up at 12 so maybe.

at 2pm because i have to get ready you. want to get ready okay so if you were a. princess okay. you capture harry styles right and now. you you know that you capture he can't. leave he's really bummed to be there by. the way because he wants to go on tour. yeah yeah i mean and he has i can pay. him. he has enough money man he's got so much. money he's that poor then why is he sad. that that's the point of you. know one thing she's right why is he sad. why are you sad money doesn't make you. happy yeah look at bob.

yeah look at me look at me yeah yeah i'm. so sad i'm gonna cry right now so he's. like doesn't want to be there right so. he's in a separate room. and then one night you're just like. what do you what are you gonna do. to have make love to him. um does he have to have sex with you. every day. yeah but he can also have sex with other. people i want a mold of. harry's dick. i think we can make that happen. happen now just in case just in case he.

escapes see if we can buy a mold of. harry styles penis online and get this. by the way you don't even know if he has. not he could have a [ __ ] horrific. penis yeah you know nothing about harry. styles penis they said the fan said that. he has a seven inch penis who what fan. knows this crazy obsessed fast how would. they know they've never seen his dick. yeah oh there's his penis. see it's long. it's long but it's it's skinny. but i don't like the color but it's fine. you don't like it because it's white.

yeah yeah what color penis would you. like harry styles to have he's a white. guy maybe a little bit brown. matte black like you know i mean rap on. it like a car yeah do a map. like a matte black car like a small. rapid brown matt brown get his [ __ ]. tinted you can there's a tent guy that. did windows they'll do 10 tints i'm sure. on his dick for 150 bucks or just take. him to the philippines and just get you. know all you guys are brown right. just eventually get a beach and go to a. new beach and make him tana's penis yeah. is that really his penis. is this a bit yeah yeah no see that's a.

bit this is who's that guy that's not. him that's not how he's done see none of. these are him yeah this is all fake. that's a really good penis though. that's not that nice of a penis it's a. sitcom penis by the way when we peed. today in the urinals bobby went to the. little one that was low to the ground. yeah and it was so cute it was like such. a sweet little moment because i said you. were making fun of me there we are right. there look at us look at me and my. little prince. look at how cute that is and that's a. perfect height for your little penis. i don't look human huh.

i need to do i look like a fake orange. leprechaun in my little [ __ ] asian. troll that i brought along yeah this is. we're cartoon people we're not even a. never-ending story like you know some. sort of creature it ended trust me it. ended a couple years ago what your story. i have a question please. in six flags people. likes to take pictures of tito bobby. even though they don't know him why. because they know who we are. and then they just know that he's a.

comic that's famous but they don't. remember his name that happens a lot. that's. yeah like these guys don't know they. know but they don't know yeah but the. worst is they go like one guy will know. and then he'll they'll go why are you. doing this and he's a famous comedian. and then they'll get in but then it. feels weird but it's always like really. young guys young guys because they've. seen us maybe on something like on. instagram or tick tock or a clip on. youtube or even a tv show yeah and they. just don't remember where. but they wanna they they know you're.

famous they're not real fans necessarily. they're not well they're fans but. they're not like going to go buy a. ticket to see you live but they like you. but i could not but if i go what have i. done they wouldn't be able to tell you. no you're right do you not like that. when someone comes up and does that does. it bother you no it's just weird because. they keep asking what's your name um. bobby's name but they want to take a. picture of it. it's weird. and normally i honestly normally if they. don't know who i am and they go who are. you i know you're somebody and they want.

a photo i usually don't do it i never do. that but i've been doing it lately. because i'm just trying to be nice to. people no but if they don't know who i. am they usually don't ask for a photo of. it but they know who you they know who i. am but they don't know who i am they. usually don't get to the photo part like. once we were in boston my sister was. with us and some guy is crossing the. street and he goes hey. what are you in. i hate that oh my god and then i'm just. asking me that same thing hey what are. you in i was just in your mother. mike.

he knows who you are immediately. no i just don't think you're allowed to. do you don't you're not like and i've. had fans come and say this to me before. people like oh i know you don't like. when pete fans go i've never said i. don't like when fans don't come up to me. i've never said that all i've said is. don't be mean or rude and i would love. to take a pho i just don't like when. someone comes up and is like. put like when somebody grabs you oh i. get grabbed a lot i don't like it yeah i. don't like it either don't grab me. that's so [ __ ] i get weird a lot. people pick me up you know what the. coolest one is yeah when somebody comes.

up to you and just goes hey man i love. your stuff i love it and then they like. disappear into the night i love that and. i think it's so cool but i don't i love. taking pictures i just think like. just don't be mean just don't be like. i don't like when someone's get drunk. drunk or tough cause then they think you. owe them something. take a photo and you're like hold on one. second you're having a conversation with. this store it happens all the time yeah. i'm always like i'm almost hold on one. second yeah and they're like come on man. you're like dude. i'm talking to somebody that's so. [ __ ] rude especially there because. it's kind of like our home in a sense it.

is our home and we see friends and. family you know that's what it feels. like. and some people can be intrusive yeah. yeah just be cool about it have you been. have you had fans come up to you at six. flags no they were yelling at us. but she doesn't. like for instance she's been on some. dates. with some guys. from college and whatnot right excuse me. and yeah excuse she knows how weird i am. i don't like that and i gotta clear me. her last date he shows up in this. green bluish car right.

yeah yeah is it a nice car it was it's. like a 19 year old kid it's nice right. yeah and i was on the balcony and i was. just watching him and she's getting. ready. i'm just staring at him and he looks up. and he goes. he just looks at me and i go and he goes. we had no idea you know i mean but what. i'm wondering is when they ask you what. you do you you never say bad friends you. never say. nobody knows that she's on a podcast. that's not true i bet you some of those.

guys do know that you're on bad friends. but they ask me and i just say my uncle. does. some kind of finance and they say oh. okay. yeah well i'm a financer imagine pulling. up to their house everyone at home yeah. and seeing this guy. on the balcony and being like that guy. does finance. holy [ __ ] yeah there's no way yeah what. bank is hiring yeah. he he has a human trafficking business.

yeah no there's finance you got to make. up a new job for tito bobby like what. like i'm an artist you say. no i'll just i'll be here so hey so what. do you do for fun you have any hobbies. um i like to free dive oh you're free. dad that's cool um that really weird. looking guy that's your uncle yeah he's. my uncle yeah what's he do. um. he's a. he's an artist he paints stuff.

cool cool valid i believe every second. can i look look at some of those. why just don't. just don't weird okay you gotta sell. this a little bit better yeah. but why would they want to see though. because what if they want to see art. what if they love it if you say art. they're going to always ask the next. question is what does he have a website. can i look at his [ __ ] of course always. because does he have an instagram you. need me to give a picture of your art. then i don't i'm not an artist you're. [ __ ] lying. sorry my point is is this given give me.

another one hey so. what does your uncle do. my uncle does. um spear fishings. whoa. and that i believe there's no way to. prove that yeah there's no way to prove. that where does he go spear fishing in. hawaii oh sick so he makes a living he. lives in this nice house and just makes. a living off of just spear fishing fish. yeah he just goes there for like. weekends that's what he does for a. living yeah how does he make how do you. make money spearfishing because he's not. a commercial like i could see if he had.

like a commercial fishing business but. spearfishing's one at a time yeah so how. is he making [ __ ] money killing one. fish at a time because he gets five fish. a day and he's making [ __ ] money like. how is this working he has a group. there's like tiny people oh so they're. like kind of like an army of spear. fishers okay so then it's 100 fish a day. it doesn't seem like you're making. enough money yeah yeah but they catch. like really big fish. with a spear by hand by hand i see. like somebody's really good how many.

pounds he's really good like 150. that's 1500 you're saying. andrew yeah what would you do if you. didn't have high interest loans or. credit card debt life would be a little. bit easier i'll tell you that. i'll upstart my friend you can pay off. your existing debt quickly and easily. and start living your life buddy get out. of town if you're carrying a credit card. balance well at month after month it can. feel like you're never and a never. ending cycle of debt with no end in.

sight upstart can help you make the. final payment so you can get ahead. andrew financial freedom is what i'm. looking for and upstart is the fast and. easy way to pay for your credit card. debt with a personal loan all done. online bob and i have both been in. credit card debt him severely than mine. i use upstart but upstart it helps. rather than looking at credit score. alone upstart considers other factors. like your income current employment and. credit history to find you a smarter. rate for your loan you can check your. rate without impacting your credit score. in minutes for loans between one. thousand and fifty thousand dollars let. me tell you something if you're fifty. thousand dollars in debt you should. probably use this and make some. lifestyle changes finally.

find out how upstart can lower your. monthly payments today when you go to. upstart.com bad friends that's. upstart.com don't forget to use our url. to let them know we sent you loan. amounts will be determined based on. credit card income and certain other. information provided on your loan. application upstart.com bad friends. buffy the nicest thing you've ever done. for me god bless god bless you said you. gotta check out this comforter remember. a couple years ago i gave it to you i. said you got to use this right and. that's the only comforter we have to. keep washing it because it's the only.

comforter we love and it's from buffy. buffy it's the most comfortable thing. it's like. you're putting a cloud on top of it well. hey coincidentally enough the cloud. comforter is what it's called it's. covered in super soft eucalyptus fabric. and filled with fluffy fiber made from. 100. recycled bottles you know when you drink. a bottle you throw it away they took it. made it a bed it's softer than cotton. and naturally soothes the skin that's. what i my skin is so soothing let me see. yeah touch it oh it's sustainable. eucalyptus uses 10 times less water than. cotton to grow and its fiber is produced.

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friends. i like it and you know what i believe it. yeah. interesting you started somewhere good. with a thing that nobody could trace yes. but not a not a lucrative thing yeah so. let's try to find something lucrative. that people would die it's okay if you. fail it's fine. what does your uncle do. um. my uncle died.

i don't know anything about crypto let's. find out let's find out. what does your uncle do. he does kryptos oh so sick that's cool. by the way were the two dudes in the car. yeah yeah yeah yeah. [Laughter]. you just want to know if you're cool the. double date yeah yeah yeah cool cool. yeah. so um. yo so what i mean how does. so he has his own crypto. financing what does he do. yeah he sells he minds it he minds it.

by mine mine. yeah. he minds it oh he minds it yeah oh so do. you guys have a bunch of like those six. servers like in your house. yeah yeah can i see it can we see it. yeah if you want. what the [ __ ] are you gonna do when they. get in there and they don't have it have. servers in the house okay let's do it. again. [Music]. what does your uncle do. [Laughter]. my uncle this is crypto. oh wow did you just invest i mean yeah.

what is he. he minds it he minds crypto yeah he. minds it so wait do you guys have one of. those like crypto farms here at the. house no it's in another place that oh. you can't tell us because it's yeah yeah. yeah it's totally cool yeah i'll be late. yeah should we just go yeah where are we. going. movies and then we're banging afterwards. no. good [ __ ] answers good answer that's. what i like to hear and say no. when it when a guy says hey we're gonna. hook up afterwards what do you say no. we're not good say [ __ ] no [ __ ] and.

i've always told you what say it to me. if he says say we're gonna bang and say. we're gonna you think we're gonna bang. later [ __ ] no [ __ ] hell yeah that's. what i want to hear check that [ __ ] and. i've always said to all right it's just. you never give it away. what i've always said that to her what. do you mean. you got to sell it no no no don't give. it away you got to sell that's what i'm. saying pj bobby's saying and i agree i'm. sweating now. i don't get what i'm doing i agree you. got to get money in exchange for sex. that's what we're saying.

possession don't give it away for free. right so that's what we're saying you. gotta sell it let them work for it. right make it a job. that's not what i'm saying i can't i. don't understand what you're saying what. i'm saying is is that just a virgin. huh. but don't they have. uh born again perversions you could be. born again christian and you can't like. reverse you've heard of born-again.

virgins right you can't reverse. virginity i know but it's guys that says. i did [ __ ] but now i'm not doing it so. i'm born what's in your [ __ ] head i. guess yeah born of convergence a person. who is having and who who after having. engaged in sexual intercourse make some. type of commitment to be sexually not to. be sexually active again again yeah but. they're just it's just a thought. it's not physical they can't change the. idea that once you've had sex you've had. sex. right but if that's right because and. you haven't i know you're a virgin for. people at home yeah yeah you would never. and you're gonna wait till marriage. isn't that what we said.

yeah good. that way to sell that [ __ ] lie that. was almost what my tito does for a. living. yeah yeah but do you understand what i'm. saying to you is that i. you know i love you right and i want you. know i just don't want. anyone to take advantage of you or. anything like that well yeah of course. we that's why i taught her to say when. somebody says are we gonna hook up you. say [ __ ] no [ __ ]. so also she did something growing up. today that was really grown up. so. she broke my purists.

right i didn't break your eyes well the. priest broke it down on your in your. life because. of you okay. and it's been in the shop right. and it's gonna cost a couple of grand. for the fixings right sure it'll just. come out of her and i said i couldn't. because i have to. it's embarrassing but i still every time. i have to do any purchase over 2000 i. have to talk to my money guy and i just. bought a brand new car so tomorrow i was. gonna go let's just get the car tomorrow.

and she goes no i'll take care of it. should she take took care of. the truck really. that is really [ __ ] i am going to pay. you back. but she took care of it that's really. grown up but you're getting a new car so. is she getting the prius yeah yeah are. you excited yeah are you going to get a. deep cleaned. uh. yeah. wow i think you should get it has it. been cleaned since. no you wanna you can i can i get it to a. guy that can fully detail it for you. that can make it like super super nice. and clean we should steam clean the.

seats. and. i don't know bless it with sage you. should get all that negative [ __ ]. out of there all that old asian people. can still smell poo in there dude. there's definitely smell poop i can get. a guy that can get the poo smell right. out of there okay you really smell poo. in there and be honest yeah i've only. put it one time once is enough. when you [ __ ] in a car yeah yeah but. most people have never [ __ ] in a car. okay but can i say this the majority of. people have never [ __ ] in a car. so one poo is one poo too many bud okay.

bud all right well you don't have any. plastic bags right now am i a dog get. out. no i was on just listen to what i'm. saying get out. you poop outside. i was on the 101. right it was traffic this is. pre-pandemic well even more time to get. out if there's bumper to bumper right. bumper-to-bumper i couldn't it. first of all i don't have one of those. [ __ ] attacks that's like oh well i can. hold it for 18.5 minutes so not me it's. a white guy obviously right or whatever.

yo man i can't hold this for 18.5. minutes is that better spanish guy go. ahead okay so um anyway. i i'm one of those it's like if i have. to go i have to go now right your body. right now poop poop. in that situation i looked around i. pulled over the side of the freeway so. you were pulled over and you still. elected a [ __ ] inside the vehicle where. do you do it in the middle on the side. of the phone you get out you open the. door yeah you get out and you hide. between the door and the car and you. [ __ ] i didn't do that because i don't. want people to see my [ __ ] and.

diarrhea coming out so. you'd rather have strangers you're never. going to see again see you pooping in an. emergency situation or i'm a public. figure or i'm verified. or. poop in the vehicle that you own that's. yours. and then live with it. but. all right stop stranger sees bobby lee. pooping. bobby lee driving home with poop inside. of his own car but let me defend myself. you get my logic it's the only one there. is there isn't because i'm going to say. this okay. do you think. that i can afford something better than.

the car that i had of course right but i. always have told. my people i'm not getting a new car. until i [ __ ] in the water no that's not. what i'm saying i'm just saying get me a. tariff like that. you know a nice car but like cheap right. the cheapest you can get prices so that. i can just bang it up and i can smoke in. it and i can throw [ __ ] around burritos. and whatnot right and so what am i. getting now i'm getting a nice audi tell. yeah. a5 pick up pull up a picture of what.

he's gonna do and we're gonna wrap it. black i'm gonna wrap it black. can i say this yeah i do want to put a. bad friend symbol on the car. okay i want two it's your car but i want. it there's an audi if i bring up black. audi a5 so that's what i'm getting. all right a four-door black audi also. matt blackhead say put matt black on top. right so that's what i'm getting right. so. i'm not gonna [ __ ] in this car look at. that's bobby lee's new car that's my new. car it looks like a batman car it does. what i like that's why i like it. right it's got like a you know see. that's nicer than my car right so i'm.

gonna get that way nicer that's coming. tomorrow or friday i'm so excited i'm so. excited bob i cannot wait for you to get. a new fan but the reason why i'm getting. that car is because i no longer want to. behave that one i don't know a [ __ ] in. my car anymore i don't want to put. sunflower seeds all over the glue you. know i had a glue thing i know the. elmer's glue thing that i had right so. if you look in the prius there's glue. and poo and all kinds of stuff and i'm. changing my behavior. well so five years ago when you see my. audi it's gonna look like [ __ ] yeah. there's gonna be there's gonna be poop.

in it it's gonna be on fire. well you don't you do know that poop. poop. that audi has uh has like an assist. where if you're stuck on the side of the. road and anything goes wrong you can. call them and they'll come oh really so. let's say you did get [ __ ] on your seats. yeah boom. you call audi yeah we are on ave because. the germans. yeah and they get out there and they'll. clean up the poop right there and get. you back on your wow that's wonderful. that's what i need it's good customer. service i love it so that's the car i'm. going to get and i'm very excited about. it but you said that you have a guy i'm. i'm i have the guy that's going to make.

because it doesn't your car comes black. you want a matte finish so we're gonna. yeah we're gonna have to we're gonna. have to take it to my guy to give you a. map yeah i wanna imagine how long does. that take a week no he can get it done. in a couple days oh that'd be you'd move. to the top of the list yeah for sure. yeah. i can't if i said bobby. yeah that's what i want you're gonna. have to give him a photo and all that. [ __ ] now let me ask you this right i was. thinking about doing red rims. i don't know too much are they black. right now i don't know i haven't seen it. yet you bought a car and never saw it.

well i googled it. you didn't physically see it in person. you just said i'll take it whatever they. had. i googled it i looked at what you just. did who got it for you clinton. yeah so clinton said. bobby i've got to. your 8 000 year old [ __ ] business. manager yeah he's like bobby i got you a. new car and you're like great what is it. and he's like audi. okay i want to say something about. clinton and you're like clinton that's. great and he's like it's a it's a 1979.

audi a85 okay i want to say that you're. gonna get it tomorrow. and it's the seats are pre-treated for. poop. let me see i like clinton. very nice guy right he. i i'm just saying there's a lot of r b. huge stars that he does too. what the [ __ ] does that have to do with. anything i'm just saying. you know how doc is like black magic. this is so funny this is bobby's. roundabout way of saying i have a black. business manager because you want to.

brag that he's black no i'm gonna say. that like they just have a way of doing. things who's they. magical blacks. black magics yeah black magics so you. think black people in general have a way. about doing things that's what no not. all black people black magics not. everyone's a black magic magic chunks is. a black magic. that's in this name name a black guy. that isn't black magic then um brian. moses. he is he is a magic little creature he. is yeah i didn't know that i've never. seen his powers okay so show me another. guy um as far as i'm concerned every.

black guy has black magic yeah the guy. from the green mile. yeah yeah he gets rid of his herpes or. whatever so what i'm saying is i i call. them and i go this is what i want and he. goes premium no what's up platinum. i go what's the highest thing i think. it's the platinum i go that's what i. want two-door one two-door four door i. go four door done you'll be in your. house in two days so it's paid off cash. yeah but let me ask this yeah. that's black magic.

a white guy is like wow we're gonna have. to do lisa and you know but we don't. have to look around what the best deal. is i don't want that you know what i. mean i want to get rid of off yeah. you want to get ripped off. [ __ ] your thousand-year-old manager. called out. we don't care about the. price and they were like sell this. [ __ ] idiot a car over 20 grand over. sticker is it. is it expensive. it's not as expensive for your car it's. your car that's not true. bring up the nissan cube and see how.

much. bring up the nissan cube and we'll show. you how much i have i just want to say. right. how much is a nissan cube because i when. i bought it yeah 2014 is when the last. that's when they discontinued it and. when i bought my cube. i think i paid. oh that's interesting let me see a. picture of a cube i think it doesn't. look like your car looks like a car yeah. maybe you have the upgraded view of the. cube your car is just like 120 000. mercedes first of all yeah yeah this the. windows are black on my cube that's why. it looks different.

you don't have a [ __ ]. and you have also different cars. today you had a different car no i have. a jeep that's my wife's jeep yeah no but. there's i've seen you with other cars. right have you not i've seen you in a. ferrari in a ferrari that's not my car. it's your car dude that's not my car i. don't own a [ __ ] ferrari yeah and i. wish let me tell everyone andrew has a. way. because i listen. thank you for listening to bad friends.

and thank you for supporting us right. but you know andrew's have has had a. couple of good years right. and he's has some nice things. why can't you say that don't be. embarrassed but don't but i got nice. cars before and before this i've always. loved cars that's what i spent my money. on was cars and that's why i wanted the. cube i'm a cute dog. i'm a cube dog for life everybody knows. i am cute guys. yeah. yeah what the [ __ ] does fancy listen to. when he goes home what do you think he. listens to. [Laughter].

tequila. what do you listen to fans as an. american i listen to really like good. american music as an american dude this. guy is really [ __ ] good. it's been good you know he's two weeks. and he's like already [ __ ] an [ __ ]. we made a couple of jokes while we were. walking around six flags yeah yeah and. he go he literally goes you can't do.

that to me i'm in america. he's so cocky now dude it's nuts and we. can revoke your [ __ ] citizenship. trust me pete can get pete can you get. this done yeah i got you good he also. says he also said like he was uh in the. car he was like i am we're still working. on the movie is the our movie so they. have the movie yeah so these [ __ ] are. supposed to write us a movie these guys. went to film school well him we want to. do a bad friends [ __ ] movie right. where is the script where is the script. it's coming coming where who's writing. it carlos and i okay.

even proper english too carlos and i. yeah. see this guy he's really is rudy in it. right it's it's about is it. the island movie is it bottoms of turtle. island it's the making of bottoms the. making of the movie yeah it's the making. of the beginning you put up new art by. the way thank you for all the new great. art it's good to see this i don't know. if we can get a shot of george do you. remember this when we shot him with the. bb gun that was like one of my favorite. [ __ ] bits that we ever did because we. had all these fans names and they were. gonna win something what did they win. like a shirt or uh i don't know what it.

was shirts and then and then rudy's art. behind her by the way that is such a. cool photo and look at me doing exactly. what i do on this show. yesterday this is what my assistant had. to deal with so like you know i am. prescribed a medication right i want to. get into that. and i went to the rite aid viagra you. can say it and they said um. they said yeah this is. all the pharmacists run out of this. it's gonna be thursday until you can get. it right jesus so i had to call my.

assistant and go find me some get in any. pharmacy and she found it in beverly. hills i have a question for bobby. [ __ ] up. yeah what's the question what is it well. if you have an assistant why did you. call us yesterday uh locked out of your. house to open your house for you. did you lock yourself out of the house. don't you guys have a [ __ ] uh. you don't have physical keys do you. oh he's got to think about it i'm. [ __ ] no i'm.

furious unfucking believable bro i'll. let you guys take it thank you spanish. [ __ ]. i'm gonna say something okay. my assistant doesn't have a key to my. house why you know who does. george. he's like your assistant right so. so george. for anything like get me red bull he'll. keep bringing me red bull yeah i know. right yeah he's your [ __ ]. yeah. okay yeah he is but wait a minute your. assistant should have your key that's. someone that's she just started two. weeks ago i haven't gotten around to.

that yet you know who can go make a copy. of your key who you're [ __ ] assistant. all right. she'll do that this weekend but my point. is that. george has my [ __ ] key right yeah and. he sends his minions. over what's the big deal were you there. were you the one that came over would i. [ __ ] keep you spanish [ __ ] but i. seriously want people to we're gonna do. a gofundme to rent out magic mountain. i'm being real of all the problems in. the world do you think we need money to. rent out [ __ ] six five guys [ __ ]. donating. to children's foundations cancer.

uh [ __ ] ukraine can you please donate so. we can rent out six in fact i'm on board. yeah [ __ ] the world no it's already over. can we rent out six flags please with. your help rudy was rudy was i love you. rudy jules you did such a great job. today you were so brave you went on. every [ __ ] shitty ride that we made. you go on and uh i gotta tell you i was. really proud anyway thank you for being. back. [Music]. when white people do here. no no no i want to know this to white.

people is this the japanese. so when a white girl goes like this. they both do. right yeah yeah yeah same thing so what. is so this is like what is this like a. table i'm so sweet. but are you underwater i always imagine. this is water you're drowning no. no no no no but like no this is like a. um it's like it's like an old picture. from like jcpenney ah is that what it is. what about when white girls do this. and that's oh that's a big dick.

that's a big deal so they see chris. spencer's dick oh that's a big dick what. about asian dick. [Laughter].

all right bob you're up first. how are you all right. i'll. [Applause].

oh my god. that's insane. first try first. all right all.

i right it you got to go for the bottom. bobby i can't believe you did that. that's unreal. where's my orange tiger dog don't you. want the colorful ones. [Music]. yes. [Music].