We Are Firing Fancy | Ep 278 | Bad Friends

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Who are these two idiots? A white dude and an Asian dude. You two. are disgusting. You two are something. We're bad friends. I tell you something. I was sitting. there, you know what I mean? And um this. fool Andreas goes 2:30. And I go, "That's my heart out." Right. You said that. No, he said 2:30. Yesterday I said I. need to get out of here 2:30. But the. way he was saying it, you I said we're. not equal. It outside of this facility,

we're completely equal. No, I don't think that's true either. I I don't either. I don't know why I. just said that, but I think you're. right. I think you're right. But we'll. pretend out in public that we're equals, but here you don't touch. You don't tell. me what to do. Okay. Okay. What about farting on on me? They never did that. Did you see that? What? She go, "What about farting on me?" I. didn't fart on him. Who farted on you? Did I fart on you? No. Yes. Hypothetically. Okay.

Oh, is that something you want him to. do? Yeah. No. All right. I did. I did. Why? Why did I do it? No. Why call yourself out? I know. I felt guilty at that point. Okay. Yeah. I don't know if like in in a in a. court of law if I was in trial. We're not in court. I would have lost. Yeah. Yeah. Because it was thunderous, my. friend. How are you? Why do you keep asking me that? I need a. water. Yeah. You sound like you sound your. mouth is dry. I just woke up. Are you. being real? Yeah. You sound weird. Really?

Yeah. You're like You're like. People think he's drunk in these early. episodes. And I've had to comment so. much on the Patreon. I promise you Bobby. did not relapse. What early episodes? Like when we record before. 5:00 p.m. Yeah. Yeah. That I'm borderline drunk when I I wake. up early. Great. But not drunk from from the night. before. Ladies and gentlemen, this is. just. from four years ago. Four years ago. You don't understand. I reserve alcohol. in my body. Right. Where do you hide? Times like this. Right. A little bit in my heart. You know what. I mean? A little bit of my liver.

and for for some reason. my right toe. Oh yeah. Yeah. It's like a little a flask. I like your hat. Thank you. What's wrong with you? I'm good. I feel I feel great. You feel good? I feel great because I got to tell Fancy. today that I might not do his movie. Oh, that's so funny because just. yesterday you said this morning or last. Yesterday go hey Bobby um Andrew doing. the movie. Um are you doing it now? Right. I was like. I am doing. there's no way Andrew said yes to what.

you did. You said yes. I did. Are you going to do it? Yeah. But he knows there might be. something else that I get to do and if I. get to do that I can't do that. Okay. What's the other thing you need to. do? Oh, is it private? Yeah. I'll tell you off camera. But if I. if it happens I told him if it happens. it'd be amazing. It's not a guarantee. like everything. Is it golf oriented? No. No. It's a movie. Congratulations. Well, brother, I don't have it. It's a. It's being talked about. The idea would. be nice if I get it. You're in the mix. Yeah. Who knows? Maybe. Yeah. May I mean, it's is just as likely it'll.

happen that it won't happen. That's how. I feel about everything. Are there big stars in it? Uh, upcoming for sure. Okay. Like young. This is the thing nowadays. Like, what. is a star? I don't know. Who's the star. now? Who is the star now? Tim, but he's okay. outside of and first. of all everyone. I love Timote. Timote. yeah he's my favorite Timote. yeah he was in. very good. if they. what is that. Willy Wonka.

oh Willy. you don't know how I can interpret. they heard it. yeah they heard it. Timote. yeah Timote. he keeps trying that in interviews I've. seen that clip he's like it's Timote and. they're like right Timothy do you feel. like that guy claims his name is. different. his name is Timote. no it's not go on YouTube and show the. compilation of him saying Timothy the. right way. It's pronounced Timothy. It's whatever you'd like. I always thought I don't know if you. guys I thought it was Timote because of. the double e at the end. It's supposed to be but it but you could.

say Doug, Alex, Rick, whatever. I like guests like this. Remembering names is. So he's being sweet there. And then as. he gets more famous, he gets angry. Well, he gets more honest. He goes, "It's it's Timote." I think he gets sick. of people doing it and he goes, "Listen, dude. Look, do the first do the first white. one there. See what he says there. There. it is. It's supposed to be. Can you say your name in French?".

Timote. Yeah, you're right. So, why are we calling him. I apologize. Timote. No, I'm going to call him Timothy. His. name is [ __ ] Tim. It's a little ridiculous. Timbo. Like when Prince did the symbol, I I. still suck with Prince. You're incorrect. That's one of the greatest musicians of. all time. I'll call him whatever the. [ __ ] he wants. You know your attitude right now. Let me. Yeah, bro. Prince. Prince. I'm just say if you one day you call me.

and go, "Hey yo, I changed my name." I. go, "What is it?" And you're like, I'm going to be like, "I'm not calling. that.". First of all, you would love that. Yeah. You'd go that's. yo yo what's. Bobby? Bobby call. And then if I and then I'm going to do. this and you're going to go I'm mom. This is not what you're going to be. called. This you. Oh, here we go. Oh, I changed my name to Oh, why would I have to do that then? Oh, okay. Oh, there it is. Okay.

Yeah, you accentuate it. What's your name then if there's a. symbol? Okay. Okay. Good. Yeah. Very good. If we. were emojis. Okay. No, you'd be the sleepy emoji and I'd be. the. the angry with the [ __ ]. with the smoke. What I'm saying is is that maybe cuz in. the old days, you know, like Richie. Valins. No. Who is he? I love Richie Valins. Yeah. So, you see Rich, you know who. Richie Valins is? La Bomba. La.

That song. I love the movie Laamba. He's going to correct us. Go ahead and. say it. What? We know, dude. Oh my god. We've done this before. He was forced to change his name because. he's Hispanic, dude. Right. Good. Back in the good old days. That. was that. What's his real name? Richie Valins. Rich. Richard Steven Valenuela. That's not. that big of a difference. That's not a drastic change. Oh yeah. Yeah. Richard to Richie and Valenuela to. Valins. They just shortened it so it's. easier.

I think that's true. Yeah. That's not. what I'm saying is Timothy Kim. Tim Kim, right? Just stick stick with Timothy. It's easier. for us. Yeah. For us. Yeah. But I liked when Zach from an act didn't. change his last name. Can't. Yeah. It's too memorable. Yeah. Even if people [ __ ] it up. Yeah. I You know what I hate? When. you're going on a date with a girl and. she has a really complex name. So I I've. done this several times where I'm. driving to their house and I'm like, "Golama, Golakama, go whatever their. name is." You know what I mean? And.

just, you know, keep repeating it. so that you don't [ __ ] up during the. day. You got to stop dating island. girls. Is that what it is? That's all island people. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You're on the mainland. It's just it's. it's like Mary Sarah. Yeah. Or if you're dating like a woman. from Africa. That's a difficult one. What's her name? I mean, you're in the car, right? You. match with Rya, right? And then you go, "Hey, you want to go?" You go on date. You're in a car in Africa? No, she lives here now. Oh,

what if it's there? That'd be cool. Oh, so I'm on a um. camel. You're riding on a camel? Yeah. North. Africa. Do they have camel still? Sure they do. Yeah. Okay. Egypt, dog. So if I was driving and I was going, okay. So you get the right. Hi ma'am. I'm here to pick up. It's nice to meet you, Bobby. Come downstairs. Yeah. Yeah. But you know what? They have. it right. Why can't we use sound.

effects? Dude, that's so funny. You know when you. call out when you're with someone, you. call out their name in the house and. they can't hear you. Yeah. You know, if if you're like, "Babe, babe.". Yeah. Yeah. In African, they're like, [Laughter]. "How can you not hear me?". That loud. You don't hear me? I've been clicking. all morning. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How can you not hear me? Yeah. Or you sometimes you say their. name in sex. Oh god. Yeah. Oh. Oh.

Yeah, but why can't we go to like if I. have a kid? I'm I'm going to go sound. effects. What's your kid going to be called? Oh, well, let's all guess what that was. Go ahead. Fancy. Hispanic. It looks like a lawn mower. A lawn mower? Yeah. If that's Hispanic, girl. Mone. What is that? Revving an ATV. ATV. So, the kid's name is ATV. Yeah, it's either mower or ATV. What about you? Look what I'm doing, though. What about you? Oh, it's a biker. It's motorcycle all.

wrong. Let me see it again. Do it again. Waveunner. No. Jet ski. That is a jet ski. You're never going to guess it. I can. give you $300. Give us another give us another thing. It does. Oh, nothing. You don't Something different. All right. All right. Wow. So, it goes and at this it does both of. these things.

What does. it does? It sure does. You It's not even funny by explanation. What is it? What? What is it? It's like you're rubbing a dragon's. horn. Oh my god. Oh, and it's flying. Yeah, I saw that. But like when you when you rub its. orange, it goes. right. And then it. Yeah. Yeah. So you got close. Yeah, we were close. Yeah, you're very close. We're very very close. Yeah. What would you name your son if. it's a sound effect or my daughter?

That's it. Yeah, but they're going to turn out to be. lazy, I think. No [ __ ]. Yeah. Like, is there anything like their uncle Bob? Yeah. Tell the to clean his her room. Let me tell you something. You got to get in there. If I catch you. Are you high? Are you. high? Are you stoned, young man? Yeah. That's amazing. I remember feeling. that that feeling I had in my bones when. my mom would say that to me when I come. home. Are you stoned?

Oh, yeah. And I was like, "Fuck.". Yeah. No. You can't do it when you're Asian. They. can't tell. Are you tired? Yeah. I'm tired, too. The whole family tired. Yeah. Yeah. Everybody tired. Everybody tired. Yeah. Everybody is tired. Yeah. I don't know if we already talked. about why they're like that. The eyes. Have we talked about that? Yeah. Probably. they're not. It's all an illusion. You don't think my eyes are squintier. than yours? No, I think it's I think it's actually. illusion. Oh, it's You think it's an optical.

illusion? I think it's an optical illusion. Absolutely. Right. It's I see it. No, look at me right now. Right. Right. Nope. Looks Yeah. No, I think it's an. optical illusion. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Was it supposed to be like a magic eye? Can you guys even do magic eyes? Well, you do one first. When you get close and you pull away, you know those. Or do you guys need even You don't need. to do You just look at it and see the. sailboat. No, dude. We don't have to do. that. We just see it. That's what I just said. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you're right. You're. right. Okay, go. My mom had one. She has still has in her.

house. It's a New York one. And it's. like one of those ones where it's. gigantic and you literally No one in the. house has ever gotten it except me. It's like on the wall. Yeah, it's on the wall. Yeah, I've seen those. Yeah. I used to love Magic Eye. Yeah. Yeah. Magic is the best. And wasn't it cool to go see these at. somebody's house and someone couldn't do. it in the group and they were like, "What do you guys see?" And you're like, "Dude, you got It's awesome.". Right. But you need for me it works. better if it's in glass. Really? Yeah. See, I like it in the book. I can easy. in the book. Yeah. Because I'll tell you why glass is.

easier is you look at you don't look at. the [ __ ] painting or the the photo, right? You look at the image behind you. Ah. And it appears then it automatically. appears. like this. I can't do. Well, we're too far. I have to If I'm I. can't do it from this far. I can't cross. my eyes. When I cross my I can do it. when I'm up close. Hold on. Hold on. I can't do it. I can do it only when it's too far away. It's too far away.

That's way too far away. Let's move on from optical. What's an. optical? Oh my. My eyes are. You've been missing me. I've been gone. I know. You butt dialed me and I texted. I. called him three times. I said, "What's up?" And he goes, "Buttile, but I've been thinking of. you.". Yeah. So, I have been thinking about. No, that made me that made me feel. but not not really. Okay. Yeah. I mean, because I know when I'm. going to see you again. You don't know when you're going to see. I know. Well, cuz I went to Hawaii. Oh, let me say something. I went to Hawaii. It was the best Hawaiian trip I've ever.

had. Why is that? In my life. Everything just worked out. perfectly. in terms of. everything. So, you want me specifics? Well, that would help the story. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I don't know much about. storytelling. I was worried about the shows because in. Hawaii they're like mate, you know, it's. Hawaii. They went mate. Yeah, that's my agent. Oh, yeah. He says B a lot. Yeah. No, but they say that um the tickets are. bad. No, no, no, no. They first of all, I. know you're lying. They didn't say that. and the tickets weren't bad. So,

months in No, months in advance, they're. like, "It's not moving." And then slowly. through time it got there. Yeah. Months in advance it's not moving. All right. So, go ahead. What are you doing right there, dude? Nothing. and I was trying to look up. your numbers. Okay. Well, no, don't do that. I can. tell you what they are. Okay. So, the first show sold out and the. second show was almost and it's Hawaii. theater. It's a Hawaii. It's a hard. market. But like all my openers had a blast. You went with Ramsay. Ramsey, Ariana, and that big white guy. Mikey.

Mhm. At the store. Yeah. And then um here's the And this is not. funny, but um. I had never met the baby before. you met. Kalila's baby. and you know I hung out with the u her. boyfriend. and the baby we went to a beach. and I brought I had I'm seeing somebody. so I brought her and then all the. openers came and then her mom and the. whole family was there. like a big happy family. she it's like two worlds. in just on the beach you know what I.

mean and it was just like it was just. perfect that day. why you spotting. it's Nice. Go ahead. Rip me apart. No. Do Bobby's mom. Whatever you need to. know. No. No. I think that's really nice that. you had that kind of I think that's. really nice. Yeah. Because remember the time before. that, right? Not good. Yeah. A lady said you're too fat. I. almost jumped off the balcony. Right. That was bad. It's like it's like you know if you. weigh. the justosition is good. Yeah. Just position. Yeah. Yeah. So that's why. No, I these are nice moments. I told you.

this. These are nice moments. I had a. nice moment. I drove I was in the car. driving from Philly to the Hamptons. Wow. Wow. Stayed at Timmy's house. Big Tim Dylan's. house. Wow. By myself in the car all day listening. to music. Was he there? No, he was out here. Okay. At the house by myself. It was. And then what'd you do there? Uh I went and did a episode of the golf. podcast and then I went out and played. golf with someone out there and just. kind of like took it easy. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Really nice. Yeah. Yeah. And I I had the same moment you. did where I was, you know, you were. surrounded by family and friends and.

lovers and I was alone and I was like, "This is amazing." You know that's the. true test. Being alone. Yeah. Cuz last two before I went to. Hawaii. No. Yeah. No. Yes. Before I went. to Hawaii. Sorry. Clip it. No. No. Yes. No. Yeah. Yes. Tuesday night. I literally was sitting I didn't have a. spot. You sat at home. So I sat there and I went, "God, I'm so. bored.". And then um I just got in the car. I.

went to I went roller skating by myself. Roller skating. at a roller skating rink. in Glendale. Wow. Literally by myself. Cruising. Just cruising by myself and never done. anything like that before. But then I. was astounded and very surprised about. how comfortable I was being by myself. People coming up to you the whole time. No one. There's a couple of places. roller skating rings and spas. They. don't do it. Well, spas out of respect. Everybody's. naked. Or is everybody naked at the. roller skating rink as well? No. Oh, Glendale. Yes, I know.

Yeah, Glendale. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bro, bro, bro, skate, bro. Welcome to skate, bro. Take. off your pants. Put on roller skates. Yeah, bro, bro. Bro, bro, you have to skate. with your dick out, bro. Bro, what if. you fall? It's going to hurt. Yeah, but you know what's great? Blacks. and Mexicans. Slow down. Blacks. There it is. And Mexicans. Yeah. You understand? I love it. Yeah. Yeah. It's not just about It's a It's a. lifestyle. Roller skating.

Yeah, it is. It is. It's just the way, you know, it's just it's it's as if they have a. little bit more rhythm, [Laughter]. you know? I mean, it's like, you know. what I mean? And I'm like like a deer on. ice, you know? I couldn't get into the. rhythm, you know what I mean? But. they're just like And also the couples, they do. Oh, yeah. insane, right, dude? I love it. I watch guy, there's a guy on TikTok I. watch that. He like goes and skates to. him and a crew of guys go and skate.

Yeah. Yeah, black dudes in roller rings. Oh my god, forget about it. That's That's our Pilates. M. That's white Pilates. Yeah. And then here's a rule I didn't. know about. I slammed on my left side of. my body and some guy, you know, there's. always that that white guy. And then I. He goes, "You okay?" I go, "Yeah, I'm. fine." And he goes, "Well, then give me. a thumbs up then." I guess in roller. skating run, you just got you have to. you have to thumbs up if you're okay. Your arm's broken and you have to go. Yeah. I mean, it's Is that a thing? I.

don't know. I don't know. I've never even heard that. before in my entire life. This is in St. Louis. Uh where it's going ham. They're going off. Yeah. See? Yeah. That's it. Hey. Hey. He's like And he's like, "What I like. about it is there's no white people. there.". Yeah. There isn't. Cuz they don't get in the. way of these guys. They're having a. [ __ ] great time. See that with their. female? Oh my god. That's the That's it. Woo. Yeah.

Hey. Hey. Yeah. I think this is going to be a my. new activity. Does Does the person you're seeing does. she into this? Better start to be. Yeah. Here's another thing we did last. night. I've never You know, I've been very. spontaneous lately. I have to tell you. that. I like this. Right. Yeah. Um we were at Boa Restaurant, right? Someone's doing well. Yeah. Yeah. Getting some of that snow. beef. Snow beef. Snow beef in the house. All right. And. so this is over there by the beach.

Oh, in Melbourne. Like Manhattan Beachy area. Oh, down south. Yeah. And after dinner, we were we went to. Urban Outfitters. Yeah. As you would right after Boa. Thank you. You go to Boa and then you need some. quick silver slip-ons. For the beach. Yeah. You want to go get some board shorts. after Boa? [ __ ] Yeah, dude. Very funny. You. Thanks. Um, it's kind of what we're doing here, Dennis. walk outside and across the street was. an escape room.

Oh, dude. I just Hold on before you. finish this. Yeah. I just talked to the king in comedy of. escape rooms last night. The king of the comedies of escape. rooms. No, the king. The king in comedy of. escape rooms. Like a comedian who's the. king of escape rooms. Guess who it is. But is he popular in comedy? Let's just tell me. Just guess who it. is. Who do you think would be good at those? Bill. Burr. No. Good. That's a good guess. I think you'd be good. Mosha Casher.

That's a very good guess. And by the. way, you're on the right line of. thinking. His initials are BW. Brad Williams. Let me tell you. I don't know how he got to some of the. drawings that you need to do. He's stuck. everywhere he goes. Yeah. Yeah. Um, I'll tell you what, Brent Weinbach. Of course, brother. Last night, I'm not kidding. He. says to me, Ryan Sickler goes, "Hey yo, because of you, I got into escape rooms. Now I go with my daughter and it's a. great activity." And Winebach goes, "Well, I enjoy them very much." In fact,

dude, he's the best. And you know what he said? He goes, "This is what he does." How clever of. Brent Weinbach. He he liked going so. much he would call the escape rooms and. go, "Hey, if you guys are testing out. new rooms, you should test them out on. me for free." So now they call Brett. Weinbach. Yeah. Amazing. And he tests out new. rooms all over LA County. Yeah. When the company makes them, they. consult Brent Weinbach on how to get. out. And Sickler goes, "But you don't go. by yourself." He's like, "I achieved.

that most of the time by myself.". Whoa. He probably You know what? Brent. probably doesn't even do hints. No, he doesn't do [ __ ]. Have you been to an escape room? Yes. Yeah. He doesn't. He just figures it out. We did five hints. Did this guy Brent Weinbach. He's amazing. One of the funniest comics. Yeah. So, he's the king in LA comedy right now. of escape rooms. No one can beat. I had no idea about that. He's the best, dude. All right. So, I went last night and. that's it. You took the Did you take the girl? Yeah, we took We went in there and um.

I'll tell you, I solved four on my own. Well, you're here, aren't you? Wait a minute. No, you got out, obviously. No, that's not what I'm saying. You cuz. I I did them in Budapest and I I was no. help to the group. Well, was it Yeah. I mean, cuz you you you get those like. actresses, you know what I mean? Hollywood actresses, they want to take. the lead. Is that demeaning or No, that's a good. thing. Incentive. It's a fact. It's a fact. Yeah. Like, no, we got it. Now, if you said those if you said those. Hollywood actresses, you know, they're.

terrible people, I'd be like, well, that's a little. Yeah, but they are. Yeah. Yeah. So, um but I was surprised that I. got four of them. Four? Like on my own where I didn't have to. Pretty good. And then she got like five or six. Oh. wow. But then there was still three or four. or five that we couldn't get out. It was. impossible. So you didn't get out. [Laughter]. I wasn't laughing. I was coughing. When do you When do you leave for Spain? We got to get him out of here.

Let's get you out of here. Speaking of. which, good transition. We at Bad Friends here are going to be. looking for a new Spaniard because our. friend. is leaving for four months, three. months, four months. Um shooting a movie. shooting a movie. Yeah. And so, and he's got other stuff to do. He wants to go see family and stuff. So, he's going to be gone. We're going to. lose a Spaniard in the booth. So, we'd. like to get a new Spaniard. If you were. in the Los Angeles area and you want to. be the Spaniard in the booth, we're. taking submissions. You got to send a. video over why you'd be good in the. booth. We'll review it on the show. Send. it to Carlos in the booth@gmail.com or.

DM our uh Instagram. Uh DM the. Instagram. But you got to be a Spaniard. These are the rules. You must be. not of Spanish descent. You have to be. from Spain. Yeah. Not Mexico. No, Spain. Not Chile. And it can't be your parents. You have. to be from Spain. So, it's going to limit the options, but. we need real Spaniards in the booth. Male or female, by the way. Yeah, we love it. And female, just so you know, they're the best. We'll go over some stuff with you and. Carlos before you get in the booth with. them. But yes, we will. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We We'll take all submissions.

Preferred female. Sorry. Preferred female. Yeah. I'm sure they don't prefer it. Carlos, you're not allowed. to do what? If somebody's working here, you're not. allowed. Not allowed. Oh, I see what you're. not allowed. Yeah, I know. Penetration. Yeah, I know. Any penetration? Any sort of traction? Yeah. No concentration, no masturbation, no traction at all. Is Bobby allowed? Arbitration. Yeah, he's. maybe celebration. You can do. celebration. Thank you. I love those. Yeah, we'll give him that. I love celebration. Bluetooth,

you guys. 53 years old. Sometimes I get. ED. Sometimes I need a miracle. And the. miracle is Bluetooth. That's exactly right. Bluetooth is. incredible. It's not just a tablet. It's. a cheat code for your crotch. Stronger, harder, longer lasting. It's like. someone gave your downstairs a pep talk. in a gym membership. You want to get. jacked in the basement. Yeah. I've had girls say, "What are you, 22? I'm 53." They go, "You you have sex. with like a 22-year-old.". Really? Girls say that to you? Yeah. And I go, "Thank you." When I'm on. Bluetooth, when you're on the Bluetooth, when. you're on blue, they go, "What are you, a thousand years old?". Okay. Yeah.

Last time I took Blue Chu, my penis got. sponsored by an energy drink compus. to do missionary, saying it was bad for. the brand. That's right. This isn't a supplement. It's a erection resurrection. Mhm. Bobby tried Bluetooth and now his hog. has a zip code and voting rights. Guys, this isn't just about performance. This is about legacy or third legacy. Get her group chat something to talk.

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today. That's rocketmoneyy.com/badfriends. Rocketmoney.com/bad. friends. I can't wait to see what Andreas is like. giving us notes. I got a couple of guesses. Okay. So, I'm doing a scene. I'm And. then you give me You be Andreas, right? Say action first. Action. Yeah. Filippo. It's his god-given right. Zombie all. day, every day. Okay. Cut. Cut. Cut. Bobby. Bobby. If you if you're going to. be in this scenario to pretend that you.

are uh with uh Okay, good. Go. Okay. Really? Cuz he's not going to be able to do. He doesn't know how to do it. Well, he also knows we're not going to. listen. We're not going to listen. No. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like we're all we're going to be looking. somewhere else. He's going to be. talking. If he said if Andrew, you play with me. Here you go. Yeah. You. be you be him. Okay. Action. Action. I action. Action I say. Action I say. I'm boss. Action I say. I'll take my own queue. I'll take my own. queue.

Don't talk to me like that. Who the [ __ ] do you think you are? I'm directing the movie. I quit. Okay. Anyway, action. I don't know where they're coming from, but I do know we need to stay here. If. we leave, they're going to get us. Okay. Okay. Cut. Cut. Andrew. Right. Stick to the lines. Who wrote them? I did. get [ __ ]. And I have Chris Pine waiting. Hello. Yeah, I'm on set of this shitty.

movie. Yeah, send send the chopper. Yeah. Wow. Goodbye. He gets a chopper. Yeah. Yeah. They're flying by helicopter. from Los Angeles to Spain. It's going to. take a while. Yeah. It was a pretty bad deal I made in my. contract. Here. Okay. Let's let's let's let's. write down our what we need on I gota. write down what we can type it up on the. screen for us. Let him type it. cuz we have a waiver. Not waiver. What's. it called? A contract. No, not contract. We need. rider. We need a rider. Here's our rider for the movie. Okay.

We'd like to make our writer. Give us. our request. Bobby Lee's Ryder starts. with what? And. well, no, we can we do combo or. Yeah. Bobby Lee and Andrew Ryder. This. is our rider. You go back and forth. Go ahead. What's your first thing that. you need for the movie? I need 87 sugar-free Red Bulls stocked. in into a trailer. Seems pretty reasonable. and chilled. Not frozen, but almost. getting there. What's yours? I want 87 Diet Cokes, please. And a slice of lime fresh with every. Diet Coke. And I don't want lime that's.

been there. I need new lime. New lime. And also, I'd like an ice. maker in that in case. him and I would like some ice with it. because I know it gets hot in Spain in. the summer. Exactly. Okay. Uh my next one is um when I'm in my. trailer and I want to put my feet up, I. don't want an ottoman. I wanna Brad. little a little person. Brad. a little Spanish specifically. Brad. Williams. Brad Williams. Okay, great. So, I can just kind of relax. And he's also very funny. We can play. Uno. He's good at Uno. Yeah. What's yours? Okay. I would like a back washer. I want.

someone hired to simply wash my back. Very. Brad can do it. I need a I'm pretty tall. Yep. Can't you wash? How about this? I need a back washer and. I need a sixoot ladder. Please. just give me a sixoot ladder and a lofah. and we'll be fine. Yeah. Yeah. And cuz Brad can use a lot. of ladder. Very very very good. Very good. It's a lot of jumping otherwise. Yeah. What else do you need? What I need is a um Okay. What I'm I. need I need to watch How to Train Your. Dragon part two.

Be you know, right when before editing. That's not a good one. Erase that. Don't. erase it. That's not a good one. I don't know what you're saying. I was I. was following you. I followed you. because once you said the [ __ ] bag. thing and then I'm like I think that's. about it for me. No, but um All right. So I I do know what I want. Okay. What kind of food do you have any food. request? Exactly. Thank Yeah. I need um. crudeo. Hamachi crudeo. Yeah. Hamachi crudeo but like. a garbage can full.

A garbage can. Yeah. A new garbage can. garbage can hamachi crudeo in it. Right. And also. and a straw for some reason. Okay. And I want fresh caught fish every. day from the sea cuz we're right there. Yeah. But I want the fisherman to stay with. us. Exactly. All day and all night. I actually want. him to sleep over. Yeah. I want a fish an in-house live-in. fisherman, please. Yeah. So, he talks to us about the fish. He. informs us. He cooks it. He cleans it. Also, I mean, Madrid is in the center of the country.

Wait, this is in Madrid? Oh, we can't do it. Wait, is it inland? It's in the center of Spain. I didn't. know it was in Madrid. Did you tell me. it was going to be? Forget the crude, though. Erase the. crude. Yeah, I can't do that. I can do the crudeau, right? You know, I. I don't want a trailer anymore. Got it. He can't afford that anyway. Yeah, but I want Oh, listen to what I. want. By the way, you thought you were getting. a trailer. It's just somebody's car. I know. I know. His mom and dad's house. If you turn the AC up, you can sit in. the car till we're ready. Yeah. For you.

I just want like a um in the cement. I. want a John Wick weapons cabinet. Oo. Yeah. With the coins and the You know. what I mean? and the um the markers and. all that stuff. Like a packet. Okay. I want a John Wick packet. Go ahead. And genuinely, I want a set dog. On the. heels of John Wick, I want a set dog. We want a dog for the set. Dead or alive? Doesn't matter. Okay. It doesn't matter. But when it's over, if it's alive, when. it's over, we do have to kill it. We. have to sacrifice it for. um that list thing was bad. We didn't I. I didn't come up with a good one. What did you think? You like your list?

I think it's good. I think good. Let's move on from it, then. So anyway, so you're going to. you're going to be together for three. months, Spain. You're It's all cast. Really? Every part is cast. Wow. Including the leads. Including the leads, which we are not. Yeah. Um. I think we're number like 18 on the call. sheet. What number would we be on your. call sheet. that day? You guys are number one. No, no, no, no. That's not how it works. Yeah. I don't I don't think you know how. Hollywood works. You're always the same. number on the call sheet regardless of. the day. What number are we? You guys.

are. What number are we? 10 and 11. Who's 10? You. Who's 10? It's 10 and 10. Sorry. 10 A and 10 B. No. 10 A. Andrew. 10B. Bobby. Yes. Interesting. Interesting. Very, very interesting. So, you're saying I'm above him? Is that. what you're trying to say? Alphabetical. No. No. Alphabetical. I'm okay with that. Okay. It's only one day at work. Three.

Okay. Okay. And we have a do we. three? But we can get it done in one. We turn into zombies. You guys die by zombie attacks, but we never turn into one. That's a flaw in the script. I I No, no. When you die and attack by zombies, you. turn into a zombie. Exactly. Also, I asked you if I The. whole reason why I wanted to do it is. because I wanted to play a zombie. I know, but the time commitment to do. makeup and all that. No, no, it's not time. You know what it. is. He doesn't want to pay for the makeup. makeup in here. or you I mean he's going to cut us out.

of the movie. Oh, 100%. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Never. Could you imagine him flying us to Spain. just to cut us out of his movie? We. What's it called again? Do we know what. it's called? We can cut all this out. We. can cut whatever you want out. Jabberwocki. Oh, yeah. We can't do it. Yeah, we can't do it. Can we be lovers in it? Yes, that'd be fun. Hi. Good morning. I have. a headache. Just don't talk to me right. now. I was just doing the. I don't know if I buy you. my ganas. I think we'd really have to. get in character. Oh, still don't. I know. No. No.

I think we should spend a couple of. weeks living together before we do the. movie. We should do some pre- foot. You know. what? Let's rent a house here in LA. Yeah. For a week and let's live together and. we'll film it and let's see how close we. can really get. I would even without the movie. Mhm. I would if you really needed it. I do. I would suck you off. We don't have to go through these. elaborate things that you want. No,

it's for the fans. We could just go right to the tap if you. really needed me to do it. Maybe I do. Oh, then I'll do it. Thank you, God. That's real friendship, by the way. And you know who didn't set that up? The. director. He has no influence on these. characters whatsoever. Mhm. I got to tell you something right now. If we go out and do this movie for you, you're gonna owe us big time. Oh yeah. For a long, long, long time. Can you imagine? You'll be under our. thumb forever. Indeed to us forever, forever and ever in perpetuity. How would be different than now?

How would that be different than now? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Well, well, I mean, now we need you. around for the show. We could fire you. In fact, if we find the Spanish. replacement, that's it. Yeah. I don't think like, you know, I. mean, the way you talked to me over. there before, didn't like it. Didn't like it. And I don't think that. we're that's in play right now. Okay. What we're saying is is that like eat. the mud. Eat the mud. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that kind of a thing. Pete the mud. Yeah, I met his mones. You met McCone's what? Oh, his family.

was in town while I was gone. Hold on. I like your I like the middle one. Yeah. Yeah. Your younger one. does not like me. Does not. The younger brother. Yeah. His vibe toward me was weird. Dog, what is his problem with me? He's more of an Andrew fan. He was. pretty disappointed that he wasn't. around. You guys are pushing those buttons. today, buddy. No, no, no. I mean, it's not even me. He. just likes that style of stand up more.

Like more more written, rehearsed, kind of fresher. The notebook reference. didn't really hit for him. Did I do a notebook reference on on. stage that night? No, I didn't. We didn't see you. They wanted to see Neil in the O. Mone, dude. No, no, hold on, M. Right.

I wasn't ripping on your brother, right? I was giving you just an observation. I know. So was I. No, you weren't. You were turning it. into a [ __ ] death slam. I mean, like, it was a slam. It was a slam, dude. Big slam. Top rope. Top rope. I was just saying I don't think he likes. me. And you're like, yeah, well, your. comedy is terrible. You don't have a. right. You don't have a right. take an. acting class. I mean, you just What the. [ __ ] bro? No, he was just a little too high. Okay. Yeah. Oh. Oh, that takes away all the That. takes That removes all the weight from. all this. Yeah, it does.

If he was stoned, he's probably. But does he believe that stuff? No, of course not. It doesn't sound like. It doesn't sound like it. I don't know about. Are you being real? No, I don't care. I'm not that sensitive, bro. Yeah. Yeah. What is going on? What's going on? I took you to the [ __ ] movies, bro. I. that was really fun. I take him to dinner, the movies when. you're gone. You picked up picked up my tab for a. little while, right? This guy. And this is what he does to me.

Well, you this is the thanks he gets. I loved our movie day, Bob. Okay. I saw I saw it when I was in Philly. What? Mission and by yourself. I'll say this. Okay. The beginning was terrible. Jumpy, crazy, convoluted. It looked like. they did that, you know, they shot the. movie and then they're like, "Fuck, we. need to do something with the. beginning." That's really what it was. Like all the throwback footage, you were. You didn't feel that? Yeah, totally. Thank you. Did you feel that? 100%. Yeah. I said the beginning was jumble, but once they got into his groove, it. was. Oh, yes. But once they found their feet, which they should have just started.

with. Yeah. It's fine. But just start there. Yeah. Uh I love the relationship. uh with him and um uh Ving. Ving Reigns. Yeah, that was emotional. It was awesome. Yeah. And Ving Reigns is just good. He's great. He's just good. Yeah. Um, I I think my only hiccup was. because I tested this on my own. You. know, I you know, I go diving and uh the. submarine scene. Okay,

I did it. I'm serious. I went and dove. I tried to. get out of a submarine's the suction. from an engine. Yeah. You're gone. You're gone. You're ab and it just that that part. didn't play real. Right. Outside of that, everything else was. fine. him droing uh 600 feet underneath. and being able to surface with that. Yeah, totally believable. Yeah. In in negative degree water. Believed. it. Uh. he would literally have imploded down. there. within seconds. It would have been like.

it had been like the Titanic submarine. Yeah. Or that submarine that pop. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then outside of that and the. airplane scene, the airplane chase with. each other. Totally believable. Uh loved. it. very. that's the part that he actually did. Yeah, some of it. Let's be honest. Yeah. Yeah, he did some of that. Yeah, he did. He flew. Yeah, he flew the plane. I. loved I actually really enjoyed the. movie as a whole. Yeah. Um I did want for some reason him to die. at the end. Yeah, I really wanted that opus moment of like.

this is it. Yeah, I'm done. And by the way, they could. have left it where he may have been. dead, but we don't know. Would have. loved that. Yeah. Sexy. Here's another thing I hate about it. They're saying this is the last one. It's not. But at the end when you do a thing where. everyone meets at a courtyard or. whatever in Paris, we learned this from what? And. Fast and Furious. Fast and Furious. Really? They do that in every. meet at the house in East LA in every. movie to let you know another one's. coming. We'll be back. We'll be back. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So that I didn't like. I was like, "Fuck. off.". Paris meet up. I did not like. Yeah. Did not like that. I. And also, you don't say anything. Why. would you all meet in a courtyard, right, just to look at each other? Yeah, I got I have I I understand that's. that's Tommy. I bet my banking out that. was a Tom pitch. Really? I bet you my life he went and then we're. all going to meet. Yeah. Yeah. But but we won't say a word. Yeah. And the director. So our characters fly all around the. world. to get to Paris. To get to Paris, right? And then check.

this out. We don't even say anything. Imagine Simon Peg just shows up. He's. like, "My luggage is I lost my luggage. I'm sorry. So I'm late to the meet up.". like one guy's flight was delayed. Yeah. And then um. that's the part that bothers me the most. about these kind of movies. Yeah. Is there's no real world moments which. is correct. Which is why Brad Pitt eats. the entire time in Oceans. You know that, right? In Oceans. 11. Oh, 11. Brad. Oh, okay. I thought he was. really a deep dead sea diver. He will be. All right. Okay. in Oceans. I guess the.

rumor goes he wanted he he was like he. made a joke like when are we when are we. taking a [ __ ] like when are these guys. eating or sleeping or whatever and I. guess then he deliberately was like I'm. going to eat the whole [ __ ] movie. So. in every scene in Oceans he's eating. something. Wow. Yeah. And and apparently that was the. impetus. Now this could be internet. lore. Yeah. But it's a great piece of internet lore. But he is eating in every scene in. Oceans something. Snacking, eating, chewing, doing something, drinking. Yeah. pretty pretty pretty cool. And by.

the way, you do notice it. Like the. first time I saw it, I remember. noticing, but actually not caring, which. is kind of wild. You're pulling scenes from other movies. he's not we're not talking about. You know what? I notic he does it in all his movies. Well, he doesn't eat throughout the. whole film, but in Oceans, he eats in. every scene. No, in Moneyball, he eats a lot, too. Eats a lot, but not every scene. You know what Assaf Ali said yesterday. about Brad Pitt? How funny was that phone call with you. and I? That was Dude, you killed it with that. phone call. I was dying laughing. He had Asaf Ali on. the phone cuz he was on the pod. So good. And he goes, "Did you listen to. my audition for the animated show?".

I said, "I sure did.". Yeah. He goes, "What do you think?" I said, "Two words, you stink." And then I hung. up. Yeah. It was amazing. I love him. Yeah. One of our favorite dude. I think. I love He's so talented. Great actor. Love. But he told me that he went to um that. new race car. F1. F1. And he got to go to the afterparty. Oh, [ __ ]. So he left the afterparty. Yeah. And. Brad's there. and him and his you know his brother, the pharmacist. As brother. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So they're just. kind of going toward Brad just to say. congratulations in the movie.

You know what I mean? And you did a. great job. Choke slammed. What? What happened? No. They walk up to Brad and then all of. a sudden a [ __ ] security guy goes in. front of the What do you want? Correct. But in my mind it's like how bold are. you [ __ ] to even approach the man. Yeah. You don't do that. You don't approach the man. That's what I'm saying. They should have. slammed him. They should have bodys. slapped the guys and stepped on their. throat. Yeah. He's like, "Well, it's I'm a part. of He's one of those I'm a part of the. business.". No, you're not. Yeah. You're not. No, you're not. That's a part of the. business that you're not. You're not. Yeah. You're You shouldn't even been in.

the room. Shouldn't even been there. in the building, right? If I'm Okay. If. I see Brad Pit, this is what I do. That's Brad Pit, right? I'll go like that. Brad's here. That's it. Yeah. To my brother. Here's here's what I would do. Here's. I'm talking to you at a party and I'm. like, "Well, and then next week we'll. have to I got to go." And I'd. really. Well, you don't want to be around that. guy. The presence of that man. The presence of. Every woman looks at Brad and look at. you and goes, Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to all of a sudden go. Gemini. Oh my god. I use my credit card.

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friends for 15% off your next order. That's kachava. kacava.com. Code bad friends for 15% off. I don't need to get hard in front of. Brad. In fact, I don't want to be around. Austin Butler either if we're at it. Austin Butler. I'll get harder for him. I'm less threatened by the butler. Oh, really? I'm more threatened by the Brad. I think Butler would have been really. kind of more down to earth. Sure. Be pits way up there. Yeah. Pits. He's a god. You know, if had any brains, he would have acted like staff. Then you. can go up to Brad. Oh, act like staff. Go. Can I get anything? He's the right color, too.

Uhoh. What? No. You Sometimes you say it the true. way. Sometimes it comes. I think it's if I Okay, for instance, right? I've been every Chinese. restaurant when I was a kid, I would literally walk by a table before. I go to the bathroom and every time. people go, "Excuse me, can you can I get. the hot can I get the hot mustard or. whatever?" And I'm like 14. I'm like, "I. don't worry.". You'd go get it, though, wouldn't you? I would get it. Yeah. You know what I mean? I'll go get it. But. when he when he does it, they walk away. and the white people are like, "Look, dude, you can ask anybody. They'll all.

get it for you. They feel guilty about. it." Yeah. They know you don't work. there. They don't care. But I because I just looked the part. I. wasn't being racist again. avive. I just. think that a lot of times. Oh, I was kidding. Okay, good. Yeah, you're totally fine. Okay, thank you. But he goes up to Brad and he sees the. movie. Did he say the movie was good? He was amazing. But I was more stuck on. the nerve of you. Yeah, the nerve of that guy. Right. It's like another thing. It's. like when you see like one of your. openers. Mhm. And then they're like, "Oh, my friend. Billy's from out of town." And then.

Billy tries to hug you. Oh, buddy. Right. Yeah. Billy, what's up, homie? Thanks for helping my. friend out. You know what I mean? They do that all the time. You're like, Bob, bro, what is going on? I don't know you, Billy. Yeah, I Dude, I I was on a flight in my. [ __ ] row. It was Nick Offerman coming. back from Budapest. I love him. Didn't even I didn't even look over. Didn't want to bother. I didn't want to. like [ __ ]. Did you say hi? [ __ ] no. Yeah, I don't know him. And also, what am I. going to say? Hey, I think you're the. [ __ ] Yeah. And he'll go, okay. Yeah. And I'll go, goodbye. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to bug that guy.

Yeah. I've done this where I'm so when I. was in Budapest 2, I was with a couple. of actors from Borderlands anyway. Um. and John Krinski was at the Nou. and yeah. and so I noticed John but I was like I. just kind of looked and I go, "Oh, there's John Krinski." But then one of. my um castmates was like, "Oh, I did a. movie with him." And so she just got up. and then she waved me over. That's the move. And then I walked over and John was. super close. Hey dude, I know you. You. kind of thing. You have to have an. invite.

That's You have to have an in. And guess what? As if Brad Pitt didn't. give you an invite. No, no one did. Yeah. Yeah. He actually snuck into the F1 premiere. Yeah. There's 20 people. Well, give me. 10 people that you don't think you're. allowed to approach them. 10? Yeah. Way more than that. I know, but just you're okay. I Okay. Okay. Let me let me let me give you some. names. We can go back and forth. and see. No, I'm going to give you an. assignment to see if they're. approachable or not. Oh, okay. Okay. Are Tom Hardy? No, not even close. Okay. Let's set up the scenario, though. It's doesn't matter. Not doing it. It's a party of 40 people.

Oh, even less. Oh, really? Yeah. So, Tom Reno, Merl Stre. Nope. Wow. No chance. Yeah. Timothy Shalamé. Timotei. Timotei. Shalame. Only because I know a little French. Yeah. Are you being real? You would approach. him? We. No, I don't. I would never. Tom Holland. Nope. Okay. No way. What? So, nobody. Yeah, you might. Jennifer Lawrence. No. Oh, wow. Keep going. You might find one. Okay, I will. Okay, I'm gonna Let me Let. me look. Um Josh Peek. I don't want to talk to him.

I'm kidding. Okay, I'm kidding. Yeah, probably. Yeah, because I we kind of know him. Yeah. Um I like to think of Oh, I got. one. Um. you were about to say middle famous. You. You were about to say like you weren't. say you I know what you were doing. You're going I've done the A's. Let's. get to the B's. Yeah, I was trying to. I get it. Okay. Because all the A's or No, I'm not going to do any of the A's. unless I've worked with you, right? Or your best friend is someone I. know very well. William Foresight. Don't even know him and I definitely.

would. Right. I'd go Mr. Foresight. Love you to death. Yeah. The kids from Sopranos. Robert Eer. And yeah, I'd probably say. hi to them. Yeah. You know why? They. pod. They pod. So that's your angle in. We have something very in common. Just give me a couple names. Let me see. if I. Let me see if you would go up to um. this dead. Sydney Sweeney. Since I don't know who she is, I would. do it. You know who Sydney Sweeney is? Sydney. Sweeney. You don't You know Sydney Sweeney, but I. I don't know. Yep.

Yeah. What's she in? Euphoria. Euphoria. You never saw her. That's why. I'm going up to her. Oh, yeah. Say what? She's an A star and I'm going right up. to her. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to do what I what should have. done. I'm going to walk right up to her. to party and go, "How are you, ma'am? Can I do anything to eat or drink?". Yeah. As looking like me though. Yeah, she's very pretty. I'm sure she's. very talented. She is. She is very talented. You know what movie I had TV show I. hadn't never seen and I'm just I haven't. been sleeping because I've been binge. walking is Oxnard. The city of Oxnard in California.

Ozark. Ozark. Oh, so good. They could make that show in Oxnard, by. the way. Yeah. Similar. I had never seen it before. How did you not see that? I don't know. It just kind of flew by. me. It's. And one night I was so bored, you know. what I mean? I was like I was on. Netflix. I was like, I heard this is. okay. You know, so I watched the first. one. I didn't sleep for 24 hours. This is crazy. You're just seeing Oh, this is such a good show. Burn through it. She. Yeah. is a star, that girl. Well, she's been because of the show. She has been for a while now.

Wow. Yeah. She gets a lot of work. She was so good in that. Isai Morales. I. mean, I just Laura Lenny, everyone's so. good. But I never Why do you Why don't. you guys ever tell me to watch it? It won Emmys. Everybody talked about. Yeah. I just It was one of those things. that just kind of flew by me. It was one of the most successful shows. in it. I mean, it literally was like a. banger hit. Okay. Let me ask you this. Am I going to. be Cuz sometimes when you watch a show. like Lost, it kind of fades out. It doesn't fade. It doesn't Does it fade? It's good to the last second. Yeah. And the ending, I think the last season. is [ __ ] fantastic.

Yeah. Here's my my argument against it. You I promise you, you don't know what's. coming. But here's my argument against it. Okay. There's no reprieve. once one problem solved. It's it's the. stress of what they as a couple have to. go through. There's never an episode. like. you're about what season are you on? Just the middle of the second season. You're going to see some things start to. change.

Okay. You'll see moments of we know people. that know there's moments of payoff. Yeah. I just cuz I at one point you want. the people that you like in the show to. have some wins. There's some stuff in there. You'll. start to see. I mean because there's no wins right. now. I know. But without any of this drama, how could you get through? I've done. this. I'm not going to lie to you. You've done what? I've watched shows where they've passed. the time of of their of their like. moment in the sun. Yeah. And then I'm like, "Were you aware of these shows or you. just like I'm going to just. I just put it off maybe.". Yeah. Like maybe I just wasn't into it at the. time.

All right. So what? Give me. I waited for The Wire. I didn't watch. The Wire when it came out. Oh wow. Oh, that was a good show. I waited. Wow. I don't know why either. I think that that was a big one. And the. other big one was um. Friends. I've never seen an episode. I've never seen an episode of Friends. either. Never. Not interested. Yeah. I have one that you're going to I. already said it, but people know. I know, but I'm not interested in it. Yeah. Okay. It's a bunch of whites. I don't. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What else is it? That's it. Wire. Well, I've No, the Wire I watched late. Uh the other one I watched late was um. Stranger Things. I was that was late to. that party.

Yeah. I didn't see that when it was coming. out. Yeah, that she was huge. Yeah, I didn't I just did I just didn't give a. [ __ ]. about kids in the suburbs and chasing. ghosts. I was like, I don't know. Good show. It was okay. Yeah, it's okay. Um, did you uh. What's her name? Game of Thrones. You saw Game of. Thrones. Drake's wife is in it. Yeah. I Yeah. So, why haven't you you saw Game of. Thrones? Yeah. Why can't you watch House of the Dragon? Cannot. Will not. It's so good though. I felt the same way. until I started watching it. No, I don't want to. And maybe like. we're talking now, maybe I'll watch it.

in a couple years. Yeah, it's a. different show, but I think at one. point, probably se episode seven, I'm. like, "Okay, here we go. Here we go.". In your mind, seven's a lot. I know. When I watched um Oxnard, here. we go. Was in the first episode. Ozark, but I like Oxnard. You're right. Oxnard. is a city here in California. And you. are right. The Ozarks is. I thought I said Ozark. You did. Okay. I said Octnard. Who cares? You know what I'm talking about. I do now. Okay.

Yeah. Yeah, but it it happened in the. pilot. The first scene, the very first frame is. is butt clenchingly cool. Yeah. Shot in Chicago, Illinois. And Isai Morales, there was a point. where after Isai did La Bomba and some. of his earlier work, Lab Bomba. He was in lab bomba. Richie. Richie Valley. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Where he would hang out at the store a. lot. Really? Yeah. And that's how I know him. And.

then I he disappeared. I like I never. Right. But to see him now. interesting. in huge things. He's such such a nice. guy. Yeah. He's big. Handsome. Handsome. Yeah. Just a nice person. You ever see. Bad Boy with [ __ ] Shawn Penn and Isa. Morales. Oh my god. A violent prison movie. It's. so good. The Shawn Penn of it all bothers me. Go to an image. Look. Yeah. But maybe. that one where they're facing each. other. That's cool, dude. That movie is so good.

Bad boys. Violent. Cuz I like the black one. The black. Why don't you like Sean? Huh? Why don't you like Shan Penn? Oh, he you know. Have you had a real world? No. Okay. No. No. No. What is it then? I just don't like what I see. What do you see? His nose. No. He's just like a constant harp about. everything about politics and a global. perspective. It's like shut the [ __ ] up. Yeah. You going to change the world? Yeah. But when Katrina, he went went to. the Mudra River and tried to save.

people. Sure he did. What? What's [ __ ] You know what. this is like when people when actors get. on these [ __ ] high horses about. saving the [ __ ] world? It's the same. way I feel about yesterday. I saw an. environmental police officer. An. environment. Yeah. Look at that. That's the funniest thing I've ever. seen. He's running. Come this way. And she's barely walking. She's a can. Yeah. Yeah. So annoying. Wow. This, by the way, this is all. performative. performative, dude. This guy, it's the worst.

Give me another one. This is so funny. I'm trying to save black people. The worst. It's such performative. [ __ ]. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, what are you caring? Rice. Rice. Like, what are you doing? Is that like a. part of like a. I like how you question it like you. don't know. You can smell that from a. mile. You know what's in there. Yeah. Well, I thought it was a bag full. of aids. AIDS. Yeah. Coming in with the aids. Heads up. By the way, such performative [ __ ]. If the camera wasn't there, would he do. it? How about this? How about this? Oh my god, this is so funny, dude.

Go save the world without cameras. Exactly. Go do it without prop. That's exactly what it is. I think. that's what it is. And also that [ __ ]. little wound he has on his head. Makeup. Makeup. Yeah. You know, he was in the bathroom. Oh god. I make it look. So you're right. When you. performative [ __ ] So when you like. I try to do one. thing nice thing and not brag about it a. day. You should that's that's wonderful. Okay. But once you say yeah I just give. this homeless guy money. It just takes.

it away from. takes it away. You could say it to me. your friend. I would even do that. But he's publicizing it to the world. like look at how much of a [ __ ] hero. I am. And then he goes I heard Bill Mar. he went on Bill Mars and they were going. back and forth about it. You know what I. also don't like when you go on you go on. like um Tik Tok or whatever and you'll. see a guy from the Midwest. LA is a [ __ ]. hole. You know what I mean? Why would. you know it's dying? You know what I. mean? This and that. And it's like bro. number one. Did you see anything on fire when you. live here? Mhm. Right. That's only one little section.

Yeah. One little. of one of the biggest cities in the. world. Yeah. It didn't exist. I didn't see it. Yeah. Yeah. It's like I can make an. argument that I'll give you why LA is. better. Go ahead. Right now. Not right now. Yeah. Yeah. But I can. Yeah. I mean, off the top of my head, the best Korean food better than in. Korea. That's [ __ ] wild. And I know you said. that before, but it's wild. Okay. And I just discovered a new one.

that it blew blew the other ones away. Goblin. Gobin. on on Western. I got to take you guys. there. Another one is uh data a new one. I want to save this on my phone. Oh, you. just text me. I'll text it to you because I want that. Second thing, the other night me and. Andrea Jin bored. It's midnight and we. go, let's go to the spa. Love. Yeah. So, her and I are upstairs in the. um communal one. The um. and we're just laugh in the clay balls. Mhm.

It's like midnight. We're just laughing. You know what I mean? In the clay balls. In the clay ball. You can't do that in. [ __ ] Indianapolis. They don't have a spa there. Yeah. No. Yeah. Another a third one. It's like. when we go ugly, we go ugly. And I like that. Go on. What do you mean? What does that mean? I don't want to go cuz that then I have. to make references to people that we. know and I don't want to do that. All right. And I don't get in trouble. But when we go ugly and But when we go. hot, we go hot. We're hot. Yeah. Right. We're 45 minutes from the beach,

depending on where you live. Yeah. Right. We're a couple hours from. skiing. You're two hours from skiing. Yeah. Yeah. We have desert situations. Joshua Tree. We have every environment. known to man here. That's right. Fourth biggest [ __ ] economy in the. world. And we have the beautiful And we have. the mountains. We have the mountains. You go want to go hike, you can go hike. Yeah. Give me a positive about LA. You're here. Me, too. I I should be the number one. That's my only one that I can even think. of. You're the only reason I'm still. here. Another thing, comedy clubs. comedy.

clubs. from where we live. We're 6 to 10. minutes away from all three of the. biggest comedy clubs in LA. in the in the. in the world probably store is one of. the biggest. Yeah. literally we could just get in the. car 10 minutes later we're I'm on stage. That's right. [ __ ] amazing. That is right. Yeah. There's just so many things. It reminds me that I like this place. when I walk my dog in the morning with. coffee. That's probably it for me. Truly. Really? Yeah. Something about the morning sun. with coffee with the dog and I'm like, "Well, this isn't everywhere." And this.

is like this every day. Every day. Every day. Yeah. And someone's like, "Don't you get tired. of that? Isn't it Groundhog Day?" Like, "Did you watch that movie?" It was. pretty good. Yeah. Pretty good. It's pretty cool. He got to He, you. know, I got to do whatever he wants. Now, if Hawaii had three major comedy. clubs, I might do. That's the only place I would go. I can. live. I'll say this. If Hawaii had even two. major even one major comedy club. and no Hawaiians, I would love it. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No locals. Yeah. I do love Hawaii.

I love it, too, dude. Oh, we Oh, so I. talked We got to do a show there. Please. No, I I'll think about it. I think Here's why I don't want to do a. show there. That's like where we go to. escape. Interesting. There's something about that that I'm. like, I don't want to do that there. Interesting. It's like I I I you know, it's like. it's our our excuse to go though. It can. be, but it's almost like. it's why I don't like [ __ ] in the. shower. I get clean in there. I don't want to. get. There's certain places you've had sex.

in. Like roller coaster. Never [ __ ] on a roller coaster. You. have? Yeah. No chance. I've gotten a [ __ ] on a. ferris wheel. That's good. That's kind of a roller coaster. It's a roller coaster motion, maybe. Yeah. Slow, but. up and down. I don't know. Ferris wheel goes around. Yeah. She That was up and down. That was up and down. Where's the weirdest place you ever. hooked up? I'll tell you why. M. what? Well, tell me why you did it, too. I'll tell you I'll tell you why. What? I. was my first girlfriend. Her name was.

Jennifer. I remember. You do? No. Yeah. And so I was working at a. restaurant called the Brockton Villa. Love the Brockton. It's in La Hoya. I know where it is. And still there. Slammed lunches and breakfast. And I had. a big section that day. I'm talking. about like 12 tables. I was running. around like a little chicken, right? And. then the host comes up to me. She goes, "Your girl's here. Your girlfriend's. here." What? And so I run to the host. and I go, "What are you doing here?" She.

I just bored. I go, "I know, but I'm. slammed." She's like, "You want to [ __ ]. with me?" Like, "Okay." So she met me at. the back bathroom. Like there's an. outside entrance when you go out. There's a bathroom at the back of the. thing, right? Slam. I'm memorizing. Who. needs ketchup? Coffee refills, right? But I'm also going right. How fun. It was so fun. In the bathroom. In the bathroom. That's got to be so fun. When you have you guys waited tables, you have to memorize so much [ __ ] dude. Yeah. I hate it. That's the worst. Yeah. My brother purposely sticks Have.

you seen my brother's thumbs before? That's disgusting. Yeah. Yeah. It's a creature. Put it in the food. He He purposely put it in the omelette. or whatever when he's delivering it to. him. And he says, "I'll tell you why. It. makes the resentment go away." And I get. it, right? You mean. I'm serving you food? Yeah. If you treated me poor, I'm. sticking my thumb in your omelet. Correct. And this thumb was in my butt. Yeah. This thumb was definitely in my butt. I put my thumb in my butt. You don't do. that. Some people suck on their thumb. too long. I've been. I've never f any fingers in my butt.

Shut up. You've never put a finger in. your butt? Someone else. I've tasted my thumb. Yeah, that's that's word. Okay. Yeah, but I never have. It's not. because I I don't want to admit to it. I. just I haven't done that. Why, brother? Don't brother me when you say butt, dude. Don't brother me. You got to come to the dark side, pal. What's the purpose? There's something in there. What? Like a. And you got to get it out.

Get in there. You've. Hey. Yeah. You know how sometimes in Super Mario. there was like that hidden thing that. you had to go find? That's what's in your ass. Really? Go get that star. It's in there. Okay. All right. If you had a. And Mario music kicks in when you're in. there, too. That one. Wow. When I'm jerking off and I put a. finger in my butt, I go.

[Laughter]. and then when I find the spot I'm. talking about, it goes, "Yeah." Yeah. Wow. I'll try tonight. D. I'll I'll try it tonight. You got You. got me. Yeah. I can't wait. I can't. wait. I can't wait. Wow. I take my finger out. I go. Your wife's like, "What are you doing in. there,

honey? I got to go to the bathroom.". That's so funny. Dude, tomorrow music is so funny. It's a good music, guys. Please do that at home. Yeah, do that at home. Wow. Thank you. for being a bad friend, by the way. [Music]. Woo! Yeah! Woo! [Music].