Urban Bobby & The Gucci Gang | Ep 80 | Bad Friends ft. Doc Willis

ladies and gentlemen welcome to the bad. friends podcast with bobby lee and my. boy andrew santino. damn that's good you two are bad friends. who are these two idiots. white dude i'm an asian dude. you two are disgusting. well you two or something we're bad. friends. so if everyone's list are you you're. recording we're recording. [Laughter]. that's what it sounds like.

so um he's from a different land you. know that oh yeah yeah yeah. so um andrew is uh shooting dave right. now he's gonna be a little late. jules is in hawaii surfing or something. with kalila so she couldn't make it so. we asked. my man right here doc to fill in jules. but now. andrew's not here so we're just going to. start without him see what happens yeah. see what happens oh yeah yeah do you get. [ __ ]. [Laughter].

you struggle to get the [ __ ] no no i. never struggle that's the problem with. you. you always always yeah you're always. here's something yeah yeah you you have. this you live in bobby's world right now. bobby's world yeah whatever he believes. that's what's real and it's like no yeah. yeah but you're me one time yeah go. ahead you looked at me and you was like. doc you're a nerd not go what did you. know anything yeah yeah like if you said. that to anybody else who knew me they'll. be like yeah bro where you who are you.

talking to i okay stop all right i'm. just i want to get to know you better. that's all you do. all right i wanted to get you that's why. you're here i want to get to know you. better. so um you get a lot of [ __ ] then yeah i. get what i get. yeah yeah which is what like. like in a year in a year dude dude. here's here's mine be honest. i'm telling you because i've never seen. you with a girl but it don't matter what. you see you know what i'm saying that's. right right it doesn't matter what i see. yeah what if you live in your world in.

your world right you think that you have. all this stuff. yeah if it's all in your head so that's. what you went that's good. yeah i get women and it's not it's not. hard it's never and that's the thing. about california i never even understood. when dudes say they don't get women. how's that possible how do you not get. women coming like it's easy out here all. day yeah you see. you didn't even know you got famous. right what you just don't get until you. start getting famous right.

say that again you didn't start getting. women until you got like thank you. that's that. right there dude it was rude what you're. saying well you know i got kind of a. little rude at me. yeah yeah so what you're saying to me is. that. before. i could get a name for myself. i couldn't get any girls. right is that what you're saying yeah. that's 100 what i'm saying that's that's. nice i don't even think you got to read. between yeah. i know i said that's so perfect let me. just even honestly let me tell you. that's something let me challenge you on. that then okay. how long have i known you.

shoot he says i probably pronounced him. about 2001 so when i first started going. to the conference right so 20 years 20. years yeah right. not one time. not one time okay have i seen you with a. woman oh wow. 20 years but working at the store. you've only seen me at the store working. we're not arguing don't get emotional. you're getting emotional here's your. problem.

don't tell me what i have problems yeah. go ahead and tell me what my problem is. okay one problem problem is you're crazy. to the [ __ ]. yeah that's one right there yeah yeah. yeah and like i said you live in this. little bubble yeah and for some reason. yeah you actually believe the [ __ ] that. you have in your hand and it's not real. i'll tell you why i'll tell you why. though okay. you know i i i i find you cute as a. button you know kind of. awkward. yeah okay. when i when i tell you that right how do. you feel.

like nothing like okay thank you. like i literally like want to like. grab you oh [ __ ] i see. you in my pocket. and walk around i i think that you are. just cute and number two i always. thought that like how tall are you about. three. there's no way. what. how tall are you who's taller than your. eye. that's a good question. i never even painted this okay let's do. this.

you can't take away no because i we. already measured myself who did. we here at bad friends we already did.

the measurements. no no no. no no i'm not we could hey did we come. here we can do it again we can do it. again do it again no no we're not doing. it again that's what i'm talking about. all right so you're five five two. you're not five two because i'm five. three so i'm five four yes if at the end. of all that one maybe five three and a. half at the most you're i'm an inch. taller than you for sure i just. i just did it i just think you uh. your shoulders is big. no one's ever said that i've had big. shoulders like michael phelps.

yeah little traps absolutely what i'm. saying. yeah so that this feels good this feels. good so um you're five. two. five i'll just say five two. i'm five three well let's just do let's. go one inch lower okay okay. and um i have to apologize for a couple. of things all right let's hear it all. right in our history yeah. yeah you owe me some goddamn. i follow you i will reduce you to come. out yeah. number one.

i remember. when gary coleman died. i i saw you at the comedy store and i. walked up to you you were with a bunch. of friends and stuff right and i i said. to you. i thought you had died. yeah. and. but you had a faith and never apologized. for that. right so uh i don't think i was hurt bad.

huh yeah. somewhere there was a baby that died. somewhere when you say that that was. you know what. i don't know. my bad america no baby died yeah yeah um. number two my second apology. is you open for me.

okay. did you not host it for your never. that's opening. i thought the feature was though no. they're both opening oh okay yeah what. do you think the host is opening for the. future no i just thought the host was. like the warm-up dude not that no no no. you you you open right right right. and i made you do some things. on stage. you don't remember. like i said. when you go up on stage you have to say. yabba-dabba-doo oh yeah ten times and.

not tell the audience why you're saying. it but yeah so man now y'all know what. the the comic this is the equivalent to. frat hazing this is this. yeah yeah yeah but then you'd have to go. up yeah yeah and say yabba-dabba-doo. in between jokes. and not explain to the audience why you. said it or that was the first yeah that. was like the first thing. i forgot all about. man. i told you to do another thing where i. go just randomly when you're opening.

you have to just without explaining. yourself you have to do a little. hopscotch. right like you know like they're doing. hopscotch right yeah and you have to do. it across the stage and not tell the. audience why you did that. man you know it's funny because it's for. me yeah i know but it's for my interview. because. between you and steve byrd and other. like the. the. the crazy things that go on in these. shows this is so much fun and you forget. about all of that i forgot like. especially you you are like yeah.

did i ever do this to you where i. like what they would say your name and i. would block the door so you wouldn't go. up on stage no you didn't do that yeah i. used to do that too yeah and like the. open would be like let me up i gotta. just wait a minute. i mean so there's like no one on stage. they already said your name it always. gave me a lot of pleasure but is that. bullying you think. yeah it is that's how you are though you. just do you think i'm a bully yeah. do you you really think i'm a bully yeah. that's how you are. really it makes you feel good in your.

heart. i'll tell you why i was bullied so hard. not only growing up but. in comedy that it's like when i finally. could do it you know i didn't. you know i didn't snip the behavior you. know i mean i kept it going okay right. within myself so it's like yes i did. some bullying things do i regret it i do. i'm sorry. but it's not that man get out of here. i'm sorry it's not that type of bullying. it's not something that you got to be. sitting up here grieving about like nah.

it's it's it's fun and games it's. practical jokes. that's not bullying i'll say practical. jokes cause that's what you are you kind. of all right okay. i have a third opponent bobby lee is a. goddamn prankster i'm a prankster. i have a third apology okay what's the. third. did i. did i do. did i hug you for too long. [Laughter]. man i don't know if you want to consider.

the. you know why because i think you knew. that it embarrassed me and it [ __ ]. like irritated me and you would do it. and i would just try to laugh it off you. know i would go [ __ ] bobby that's how. long. how long do you think i would hug you. for. like if you would count the seconds. longer than a big red commercial yeah.

like a minute yeah hot hot dog man so. it's hot so fun to do to hug people for. like a minute or two a minute man. and then after about 45 seconds i could. feel you. trying to get out i was like. so now those are the three things that i. wanted to apologize and do you accept my. apology. uh.

let me think about it bro cause uh. hey there's a tear right okay yeah now. you know what bobby i'm gonna let that. go i'm gonna go ahead and forgive you. now let me ask you this then what's. there um. are there things that. you're you have resentments toward. you do you have resentments toward me. and i want i'd like to hear them. resentment towards you yes so we can. resolve anything is there anything. hidden. that i'm not aware of or privy to that. you. the only thing that i've ever here we go.

i'm trying to think like the only thing. that i've ever but this is something. that. i i did it's not even like anger it's. just it was more of like disappointment. uh you know what i'm saying. and it's like you know because it's a. comedy story so when you're a comic. you're like i want to get out and do as. much time so i was always thought that. for some reason i had this belief that i. said man bobby gonna start taking me out. more i'm gonna do more i'm gonna do more. show blah blah blah and it never. happened like that and i was like [ __ ]. so it was like oh [ __ ] i but i did that. with a lot of people it's not just you i.

just like maybe this person or maybe. this person so it was like i'll be. brutally honest with you yeah okay. it's um. how do i say this. but. the growth that i saw you as an opener i. mean you're hilarious. there's just something about you up. there that like i've always felt that. too i've always said that about you okay. did i not yeah yeah you've always said. that yeah a lot of you you're being. don't be defensive i'm not gonna hurt. you. no. but what happens is number one um.

i don't i didn't think that you could do. the 30 minutes okay at the time right. right and number two um i just prefer. female openers. you know i used a lot of female features. like jade. and but. other guys too. you used uh i know but anwar. uh. kerrigan you used that i don't even know.

who shawn kerrigan they were the [ __ ]. shot character [ __ ] it if you don't. remember you just yeah yeah i don't know. who sean carragher is yeah well then. probably the names that you use the most. consistent. that i know of no i'll tell you who i. use the most nick youssef. yeah you definitely use nicki minaj. nick a lot okay and it was because his. style here's the problem with you and me. too. we're both little all right and cute. right right and we jump around like. little jelly beans for me though that's. what i got the whole sexiness you know.

you literally right. right but i think you're great. you make it like i'm supposed to. actually keep them yeah. yeah yeah so um. so you were you know you you were just. too close to what i did i think.

okay that's another thing you know um. but is that it. that's all the resentment. yeah i don't know because i don't uh. you do you ain't what what have you done. to me to make me. cause this is the type of dude are you. let me ask you a question if you make me. angry yeah about something that i gotta. resist i wouldn't even talk to you. that's how i am oh yeah victoria bobby's. goofy ass but are you if you and i if. you and i. got charged with a. and you and i were cellmates right and.

we got life in prison okay. and my feeling is this. my feeling is this is that. five years would go by. and i'm like i'd be like. man. i'm not gay but. just listen listen no i'm listening. i'm not gay but. i'm sorry as [ __ ] man and. my best friend is doc i did this crime. together so were you best friends could.

we sell me. i know we did the crime together and. we're also like we're the same size okay. because you know i don't want to be like. you know. big t you know big t's down down the. road right he's six five he's got a big. you know okay. gorilla dick and then i'm like you know. doc has a chimp dick. so it's like you know. so. you know i think we could be good you. know.

lovers or whatever so then i'd be like. no let's say like at night we're. sleeping right right. and we're in bump beds i'll probably be. in the top because i'm older. right i'm a headliner too. yeah you're in the bottom so i slip down. a pole you know whatever the thing is. and i. you're laying i bet you you sleep on. your stomach. no. have you do you ever sleep on your. stomach. no. do you sleep on your side yeah good yeah. everybody's perfect okay here we go. perfect oh [ __ ] you're sleeping on your.

side right you've already got this place. yeah and i and i crawl up behind you. right okay i'm naked sure right i think. i already know where the story is going. and i started. doing like tiny little kiss taps. on your neck. okay yeah yeah you know what man okay. what would you do you know i'll probably. whoop your ass in the sail you need the. guard gonna have to come because you're. gonna do this you're not you're not. putting yourself in the scenario you're. you're i'm in a scenario no you're not. no you're not there. for me five years i can feel five years.

worth no five years five years we've. been in there yeah five [ __ ] ten. years let's make it ten years it don't. matter if it's thirty you don't oh. really. deserted island deserted island no. [ __ ] that's it we'd be just two dudes. looking out at the goddamn sea. you wouldn't touch me once nothing but. for what all right all right it ain't. even [ __ ] like no. i i i i i hope you guys know you got it. i get about a humanitarian. this guy i hope god i never i'm never on.

a deserted island. well i hope not either i don't want to. be on there with you if i'm going to be. sleeping on my side and i have to worry. about this. scenario. all right how about this then this is. that's the supposed memory now i'm like. i don't know homophobic you're so. homophobic it's not even homophobic it's. just what you like. in africa in africa we're in africa. right and we're out of safari okay okay. and we're not holding hands or anything. we're just friends we're just friends. yeah yeah right barbie.

yeah and duck. for some reason my penis is out yeah. it's a snake. snake is out there okay yeah yeah two. snakes are right two snakes yeah snakes. not snakes in the plane but okay. okay and all of a sudden the snake. [ __ ] he bites my dick.

right. ah. someone's gotta suck the fountain out. would you suck the venom out. yeah damn man i'll just wait no no would. you suck the venom i'm trying to give. you the good answer man without breaking. your goddamn heart and i'm trying to you. you'd let me die i'd definitely be. thinking about your mom and your father. you would let me die yeah that's so. [ __ ] up. let me tell you something right now. right okay what's there if a snake snake. snake if a snake bit you on the penis. right. [Music].

i would suck the venom out right and and. just to make you feel better i'd. probably let you come in my mouth wow. all. right it's getting weird okay you're. getting weird yes yes yeah thick-ass. clown or weird weirdness it's just weak.

yeah you know. let's suppose. we both die. i die first though yeah right. when i die i tell god i go let me be the. doorman of the pearly gates. right i'm good at checking ids and god's. like go ahead. you're dead now you're waiting in line. to get into heaven. right. and then i. you know. [Laughter]. you mean. yo you want to get here.

you want to get it so because there's an. elevator that goes down to hell. you want to get it right would you do it. though. i'm going to tell you like you don't. even have that. before i even get up to the line i'm. going to go on here and start walking to. the elevator right here. i'm going to be like god damn bobby's. the game. [ __ ] straight to the game elevator. [Laughter]. [Music]. [Laughter].

oh [ __ ] this is what you guys are gonna. do. this has always been proof yeah of the. culture that i have that you don't have. what oh this is great we talked about. this before nobody seems great black. people this is wonderful black people.

don't they think you're funny but they. don't it's not the same with me. they love me yeah yeah. yeah you don't even know how to do this. right yes do it dude. no we're not doing [ __ ] yeah yeah we got. it. let. do you get that from me do you think. that you're closer to andrew because. andrew is more in touch of black culture. or. understands the people better i don't.

even feel like it's about closeness i. just feel like he's just exactly what. the [ __ ] he said yeah you have no clue. that's all. we've discussed this before we got here. and for sure. [Applause]. so for the last 20 years right that. we've been [ __ ] with each other right. you've always felt that about me. that you was there's a disconnect. between me and your culture.

not the i mean i don't know i don't know. nothing about the code bobby. statement the statement is wrong. reframe it for me it's like. the way you're saying it the [ __ ] said. see it in your way in an urban way. why don't. see that's what i'm talking about that's. it right there i think that's it this is. that clear. that's right you just said earlier.

that was. you know what's really helped me during. the pandemic um was better help because. i i did a lot of therapy through better. help me too really changed my life. i mean andrew is there anything. interfering with your happiness or. preventing you from achieving your goals. it sure is man a lot of times is there. we need someone to talk to but i hope.

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trust me this is more affordable and. more accessible and easier to use than. anything you've done before uh go to. betterhelp.com bad friends that's better. help help join the over one million. people who have taken charge of their. mental health with the help of an. experienced professional this podcast is. sponsored by betterhelp bad friends. listeners get ten percent off their. first month at betterhelp.com bad. friends that's betterhelp.com bad. you know i go to hawaii a lot all the. time. the only um delivery app i use is. doordash because they're the fastest.

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doordash subject to change terms apply. so i'm so insulted number one doc i miss. you man this is so good to see you [ __ ]. up we're connecting i know but it's like. it's irritating you know what you know. and you know who i was just shooting a. scene with today who did i work with. today who kevin hart. did you know kevin hart blackness. confirmed kevin even said it. and i said you know who i'm doing a. podcast with because because he made a. joke we made a joke do you know what. korean hearts are no but tell me what. did he remember me no look this is. korean hearts yeah you've seen this.

before there's a korean you remember me. there's kevin yeah i said you know i. said because we made a joke about korean. hearts one of the girls on the on the. show she said this and he said that's. funny and she goes you don't know i said. i'm one of my best friends is korean she. goes you have a really you hang out with. koreans i said yeah i'm from here i'm. going to work with my one of my korean. best friends and she goes who i go bobby. lee and i turn to kev i said comedian. bob you know bobby he's a comedian. what do you think he said. i don't know him. no.

he you know each other i know but what. did he say i don't know what he said. because i wasn't there he said that. [ __ ] get naked that's what he. said. maybe no maybe no was it part of the. role no there was nothing in it i was. wearing armor.

did he really didn't say that you know. what he said no he said i don't say i. don't know who the [ __ ]. no he said i love bobby. i love he said i love bobby lee. he was great but anyways doc doc how has. this been was this abusive yeah yeah a. little bit a little bit yeah. here's the thing though i'm so. comfortable with this guy i was like ah. breeze you know what i mean yeah it's. easy with them yeah it's easy let me. tell you something about. i'll tell you the reason why you're on. this podcast because jules was gone it.

wasn't going to be here right and i. literally this is not a joke okay i was. watching a documentary about black holes. [Laughter]. no i'm being real let me let me can i. just finish what i know i know it's. uncomfortable but no no no that's not. uncomfortable because. black hole is something me and him this. guy would say okay this guy yeah so what. happened with black holes. you know stephen hawking's in it right. and there's also a bunch of scientists. trying to take a photo of a black hole.

which is black hole which is like. 30 25 000 light years away you know i. mean it's very difficult to take a photo. so what they do is they aligned all. these um. satellites from all around the world to. take a photo of the same image right and. maybe they can take all the information. create. right so they finally you know they. finally found they finally have an image. of what a black hole looks like and when. they showed it i i don't know why but it. reminded me if doc's [ __ ] was on fire.

i laughed. [Laughter]. you said it's so fast. when i i said where's rudy you got black. holes coming. so it just kind of i don't know why the. connection there but there's just. something freaky about his sister you. don't remember that's something you. would say to me i want to get in that. little tiny black hole that's that's oh. you're right right right try to sexually. assault doctors no.

it's not sexual assault when both people. are online on this for sure for sure if. he's part of the party it's fine. doc what are you what's been going on i. haven't i want to talk to you did you. guys talk a little bit about what's. going on yeah i'll let me just let me. just. may i be your representative. well. let me just tell you say no. apparently um he's getting a lot of. [ __ ]. why do you say why would you say because.

yeah let me ask you this how long have. you known doc. how many years. well. at least. you came to the store about oh eight. yeah yeah it's got to be that long yeah. yeah so what's that 12 years i don't. know number 20. so um yeah we know okay. so um. out of all the times that he. you saw him yeah do you ever see him. with a woman. what do you mean can you hang out with a. girl yes i did actually yeah multiple. times where i saw doc out to dinner one. time i saw him at a really nice.

steakhouse he was out to dinner with two. females. two. two tall [ __ ] all right well then. that confirms his. his point and he had on a pimp suit he. had another three pieces. but i said to doc the one thing i did. say to him he was in this booth with. these two beautiful tall like model. [ __ ] and he had his arms around both. of them yeah yeah and i said how tall. are these girls yeah. because doc is not a tall guy yeah yeah. and then i come up to him i go what's. going on it's five three five three and.

then he goes like this to me he goes. like this like i don't want to blow up a. spot right so when the girls leave he. goes don't you girls go out i'll meet. you outside. and then he hopped out of the booth yeah. yeah and when he got you know then then. it was like this out of the table. and he said don't blow up my shirt are. you 5'3 that's funny because him and i. stood up. did you uh did you on this show and i'm. an inch taller than him right and i know. but check it out did you flatten the. head no check it out i'm an inch taller. than him. he says he's 5 3 when you think that you. think i'm five two five two you are so.

he's five foot. no. first of all that would be five one if. you're bad at math yeah five one i mean. yeah five one okay. fine i'm not fireball but you know what. he's been measured okay but you know. what. he may be short but i still but he's got. a pipe. you don't think he's got you don't think. he's got a pipe bigger than yours. i. than me he should kill himself. that's why his ego isn't in question.

when you say you're short he doesn't. care because he's packing i don't care. you get sensitive about it because it's. a thing. round belly small penis tiny guy that. gets in your own brain it doesn't god. doesn't give a [ __ ] give a [ __ ]. well then why i give a [ __ ] about what i. look like why are you insulting it that. he doesn't get women why do you think. i'm not insulting because. oh here we go bobby. told me i was a nerd andrew hey he's a. [ __ ] nerd that's what i've been. trying to do. and he just won't take it.

you're a [ __ ] nerd. a [ __ ] nerd yeah i'm a nerd but i'm. not ashamed of it he's not a nerd he. looks like one though no why. what is it tell me what it is that makes. him a nerd i went to a renaissance fair. once. [Laughter]. i went to a renaissance fair once right. no. i naughty kidding i saw a little black. man an lp yeah no no an lpb yeah on a. horse. on a pony it was probably.

but yeah and he had one of those like. miniature like you know a little gravel. a little javelin a little. joust stick. yeah it was one of those things but it. was a toothpick yeah yeah. right. and i go doc. and he turned around and it was like. same glasses same hairdo you told me. this story is this real because you i. thought you told me you seen somebody. that looked just like me that's what i. said i'm not lying oh [ __ ] yeah yeah. yeah. so once i go they're the same type. oh.

yeah this is the same kind of guy right. like berkeley. early yeah. a little early yeah right so i'm like. you know there's you know there are. black oracles out there urkel is black. that's true merkel was black. there'd be white oracles there's white. articles there's all kinds of oracles. out there there are they're probably. billions of asian miracles there's so. many asian articles yeah so many right. but. yeah. yeah. so um you thought that was his so when i. saw him i when i saw the guy at the.

renaissance fair i go. oh there's i just made a. i put him on one box right. and um and i walked up to him the next. time you know after i got back from the. renaissance fair and i go. are you a nerd. and he got so offended he got upset. about it yeah because here's another. thing but you asked him you didn't call. him a nerd. no i asked him gently like are you a. door i whispered in his ear i go you. don't have any nerdish qualities i do i. don't know where he's that's what i'm. trying to do he doesn't have any dork.

[ __ ] bobby's world yeah bobby's world. he's not a nerd dude would you say. jordan peels a nerd. yes compared to me yeah 100 that's not. even a competition okay yeah all right. but jordan would probably say he's nerdy. but here's another fascinating thing. that we didn't even talk about i know. about doc what. and i don't know why it just makes me. laugh and don't be offended by it all. right don't be offended by it it makes. me laugh and i giggled the first time. you told me because i visualized it and. it just. it just made me giggle okay okay his doc.

used to be a gang member. so i don't know why that just makes puts. joy in my heart what get what gang was. it the mashed potato gang uh. the gucci boys. yeah. was he you were you the runner i mean. what happens you give me a lollipop. the bit that you hear me talk about me. uh being a cult holder the first time we.

fought that's that was actually the code. of the culture yeah it was cold holder. in the beginning yeah and then after a. while it probably so did you have to. kill someone did you have to hey man. there's a podcast no i am not an even. i've never was a coat holder yeah code. holder what does that mean coat hanger. he would put his arms up like this and. they'd put their coats on they just. started throwing their coats at me when. they got ready for they ready to fight. yeah hold on and then they just started. fighting i was holding everybody's. jacket. it would be funny though if you just.

stood there like this. yeah so that so when did you move up. like you have jackets on your face so. it's code holder then what's the next. the next level it wasn't even like um i. don't think it wasn't like it was a. designated code holder it was just. automatically they just because you were. small yeah you know what i'm saying okay. but then it was like. there was other small guys but they just. for some reason just hold my jacket hold. my jacket it was just out of nowhere i. was like what the [ __ ] i thought i was. gonna be fighting with you because i. think they they sent some nerdy quality. to you. [ __ ] it.

you know. they might not have seen him they might. just throw in their jacket and he was. down there. and the coach just fell. so dick yeah yeah doc you know what i. really want to know uh about the gang. [ __ ] yeah and you don't have to expose. your personal [ __ ]. but do people get beat in. yeah like okay i didn't you didn't get. beat in no did you watch me did you did. you beat someone in no but you watch. people get beat in yep is that the worst. [ __ ] to see or the most fun. it's uh. it's fun because it's it's it's.

within so they're not really trying to. kill them or nothing right they just. want. how tough they can could you imagine. getting [ __ ] getting the shipping out. of you by your message. they beat your ass and for like two. minutes straight three minutes straight. and then they're cool with you. our gang was kind of detroit gangs are a. little bit different what do you mean. they more. it's more about money and crack. especially back then yeah jumping you in. was just like. only a few i only seen it like maybe. once happened did you sell rock yeah.

cracked heroin weed i was i thought you. used to sell wheat i didn't know you. sold rocks no i sold everything god damn. did you make good money yeah what was. the most money you made today selling. rock. i'll tell you the fastest i made. on the corner and this is the corner of. about about 10 or 15 of us. i made 500 an hour. 500 an hour. selling crack yeah what the [ __ ] are we. doing in hollywood. that was the 80s the 80s was crazy.

comedy for some reason i feel like it. was the corner where the toys r us. for some reason the toys. well this deal was selling. was your voices deep when you were a. child. yeah kinda you probably always sounded. like that. yeah you're you know you know how. powerful for people that don't. understand and let's give a moment of. respect yeah how influential doc is to. to our home.

the comedy store doc was. can i go first though no because i. started it. that's true. doc. doc forever will have embedded in the. culture of the store whether you like it. or not. will always have the respect because you. you were a. a figurehead of that place and you. couldn't go around that club and not. talk about you being a part of it okay. for the history of the club because for. real that yeah like that everyone was.

like what's up drew everyone knows. everyone's got their doc impression. mine was always like what's up drew and. he was always happy to see me and for. you was hey bobby. down. but you but you really did. forever of the people that will be. cemented there oh yeah whether you like. it or not you were always embedded in. the culture of the club 100. and and. so yeah there we go what's up doc. so that's. it meant a lot that is why i was.

real no what i what i was gonna say. is um. you know there were certain people there. like um. jeff. jeff scott rest in peace. he died he did i'm kidding um. he got shot. no he didn't like 13 times no he didn't. he got shot that's how he died jeff's. got the net shot what did what happened. he they just he died from a heart attack. oh yeah i thought he got shot no another. guy died that way who. some customer last night i do i was.

there. i was off that night i was there that. night i was in the back in the [ __ ]. back by the hallway when that guy got. shot you know what happened to him that. guy got out of his car he went up to his. chest and shot him he got back did you. see the body yeah what do you mean i saw. i heard the gunshots we ran back by. hollow ground then by the time i came. out and cops and amy's were there he was. there on the ground that's so crazy it. was [ __ ] gross it was right on the. front paddy was there blood everywhere i.

mean not as much as you thought isn't. that weird i thought it was going to be. more blood yeah yeah it was enough. was it was it what's so funny oh no i'm. just like it was so funny. it was it was nasty it was wild though. was it a white guy no it's a black guy. okay. here's what it was a lot of white guys. getting shotgun. gang-related shootings the guy. was actually visiting the hondas he had. nothing to do with the store so he came. five minutes after he left the andaz to.

come over there cause trippin's. tuesday's show ended he just came over. there to have a drink on the path he was. having a drink yeah and then five. minutes later a guy ran across the. street and shot him up. and uh so what it is is the guy but he. didn't shoot anybody else which i was i. thought that guy was from new york right. and it was a new york hit on him well. but i'm saying i give give the guy props. yeah they catch the guy spray into a. crowd back in new york it was it started. like a big war and they caught the guys. and they arrested some guys not here in. l.a and it's not in their like. history.

[Applause]. he got away. i know he got back to new york and then. there was some sort of war in new york. they started a gang this was like a gang. hit yeah that's why they didn't shoot. into the crowd he got out of his he went. right up to his chest and shot him in. point-blank. it's wild so it is pretty wild it wasn't. it's not like the krypton blood it was. like drug and you know what i'm saying. like they actually like a hit that was a. hit he was he he he did something he. shouldn't have done can i go back to my. compliment please okay go ahead.

so i really want to hear this bobby i. want to say that you um not only were. you like. a part of the store like you were part. of the building right i also. saw you develop. like in the beginning when i saw you. you weren't that good right right nobody. was that good. it took them a little longer i think. okay would you agree with that yeah. that's because i wasn't hitting the mics. like i should it's fine. you know what i mean it's not a bad. thing. all right so um.

but eventually you started you i feel. like you started finding your voice. right. and i remember one time you were on. stage you were killing right and i just. thought to myself i wish i was in prison. with a guy. always go back to the old bunk bed. upstart oh credit debt hey man if you're. carrying a big credit balance every. month it can feel like you're a. never-ending debt cycle and i can tell. you upstart can help you bobby and i. we're both in heavy amounts of credit. debt when we've started in this business. yeah and so many americans experience.

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joinhoney.com bad friends that's. joinhoney.com bad friends no but i i. honestly like and when you left to me. it's like um. number one you never got passed there. right yeah you did get power no no i. never got paid yeah. i think that's the crime. yeah i think that's the crime and i. think that's what made you leave right. there 100 yeah i watched your last set. well also but but i'll be honest with. you be honest with you it's like. i never became.

a hot guy as a stand-up period anyway so. the main reason why i wanted to leave i. said let me just see what i can just. push myself because it's something i'm. not doing for for me to have to do i. don't have to depend on the story look. at all the people that come through. there that never got passed yeah louie. wasn't passed by her louis ck i know i. know so it's like seinfeld right i had. to like be honest with myself so i left. based on that but i was more i left more. so because i just was disappointed in. paulie in them and what happened right. you know because adam everybody think i.

was mad at adam i'm like nah i don't. even got nothing to do with why i left i. just left because of all i had went. through there i said i'm gone yeah yeah. yeah that was me how many years you were. there for how many years twelve. man living in half nobody so what are. you doing are you doing stand-up now. yeah i still do i hit mics and i do. little shows here i got two little shows. tomorrow where uh right here at the. comedy chateau i'm doing a little five. minute spot over there and then i'm. doing a little show with uh kathy lewis. and riverside. oh cool let's kill the grind still. grinding you're still grinding yeah yeah. i'm just hitting it yeah i think we. should we we need to we need to help you.

a little more. hey man i just like i just really want. to do stand-up man i get it. i get it well let's do this but you but. you know bobby's taken from you so much. what can he give to you. what do you mean what do you mean. you've just taken i have so many people. i've helped him so much well to help him. more than. did you know did you ever open for. andrew he's open for me. he's why he wouldn't open for me. i've never asked him he's. yeah everybody.

so i mean i feel like i've done more. than you have maybe 100 100 percent but. it's just different with doc yeah it is. in fact in fact you're here not because. of him well you're not you're here. you're here because of me but you're a. star guy he's he's a store guy but. you're an if you're a rep rep born and. raised store guys that's right so you. have a method that you was taught and. that was inherently given to you to miss. you working with you as a guys like him. most 90 of the guys that come that's.

just regulars like him. he is not organic stuff with deception. of like. i'm real. that's what you're saying right i'm real. stupid i mean you know yeah he's not. really worried of course he's a [ __ ]. real star no you're not he's the one am. i not really. who's more real who's more real andrew. ryan be honest real store what the [ __ ]. is what is this. [ __ ]. honestly no because it's a fake question. real story what the [ __ ] does that mean. no both got passed by missy so you both. real.

that's the only reason because you were. so you slum the phones and i didn't do. that no that's that's the only. difference. i put in the same [ __ ] work. shut the [ __ ] up you don't get to throw. around [ __ ] why are you getting so. because i get to defend myself let me. finish my point though can i finish my. point. all right my point is this right uh. you're like i'll tell you what you're. like you're like spade see.

you're a good paid yeah you got good and. you got a name. then you got into the store that way i. got. did i start at the [ __ ] store he. watched me start at the store are you. out of your mind i was there when me and. [ __ ]. dahlia. saw you for the first time i started at. the store yeah we and we tried to get. good and come to the store just stop. arguing i'm not arguing with you i'm. just throwing facts down man relax. all right. and i remember me and delia looked at.

each other and we saw you perform and we. told you the story before i remember. right and you killed yeah who kills like. that if they're not developed already. think i develop at the club no you. didn't yes you were good already he saw. me how many not you saw me at the club. you weren't there for the late night. spots when i was getting late nights. listen you weren't [ __ ] there. he was there listen. but i was gonna ask you you didn't you. didn't do comedy before that at the at. the club yeah i was doing other [ __ ] but.

the store is where i went every [ __ ]. night but i mean i would go do a show. in. uh [ __ ] santa monica back the old. west side oh so you weren't in the clubs. all over no oh so the store the first. club that passed me was the improv but. back then. no but you didn't it wasn't the same you. would get passed and then they'd give. you a spot once a [ __ ] month yeah so. you weren't there with the club i could. go every night fine thank you all right. it's like you're like a guy.

i am a [ __ ] guy i know you're like a. guy like if i was born in this country. and you moved here when you were 10. immigrant not an immigrant but you're. kind of still american kinda you know. you're gonna tell me to go back to my. country. go back to the [ __ ] improv. go back to the improv because we don't. need you. you don't even go to the store anymore. well really i was there last time going. tonight and tomorrow. see something is talking. it's you. it's not my my phone's off it's got to.

be you it's not me. i ain't got nothing it's bobby or it's. downstairs. it's bobby it's bobby he can they can. [ __ ] hear it what what open your. phone up and find out what's going on. you're probably on a call still. no we can hear it it's not me. you're out of your [ __ ] mind the boys. can hear it can't you boys we just heard. it did you like do yeah i thought my. phone grabbed my phone it's there's. nothing on here. you're so stupid it's like you're losing.

an argument no i'm not losing it. you present you see what he does here. it's called gaslight yeah it's called. gaslighting it's his favorite thing to. [ __ ] do but i'm just saying that you. know. i just want to settle this right now. okay you're a store guy through and. through 100 i'm more store let's move on. [Laughter]. i mean fine it's a fact. that's fine i mean i'm funnier there but. yeah you're good yeah you do well okay. that's fine. please don't you do well.

you're funny you're so much funnier than. i am i know and you kill better i know. and you're a better comment i know okay. better actor you're everything better i. know yeah you [ __ ] better i know. everything's better i know okay. you feel but you're an original store. guy. yeah that's what you got yeah yeah well. you got it yeah i did get it. and you're just a visitor. a faker. i'm a faker yeah you're not real do you. want to start. [Laughter]. coming out. these claws will [ __ ] start gripping.

yeah. so anyway let's move past i'm happy that. you're back by the way i missed you i. missed you so go [ __ ] your day who. called you who called you while you were. gone where were you i was in new york. and you went to new york i call him all. the [ __ ] times you'll see how he is. love new york i love going to [ __ ]. new york i miss going i feel like i. don't get opportunities to go anymore. and also now new york is so much hotter. than la comedy wise that i feel like. they're alive over there we feel like. we're in this weird coma like we're just. getting up i've always been the sp. i know but even post covert i'm saying. it's alive as [ __ ] i went to the cellar.

it's it's bumping yeah it's not like. that at the store i don't know man what. do you mean did you go to the cellar. no but what i what i i do feel though. because you know i'm staying in brooklyn. yeah no d on the end. just brooklyn. brooklyn yeah no it's brooklyn no it's. not brooklyn i was in brooklyn. which is what i said. twice i don't know where you get the d. maybe it's my phone but um did anybody. else hear a d i r d yeah okay. i was in i said it wrong.

brooklyn. brooklyn yeah and um. i'm walking about in town. right yeah in brooklyn. correct right and um. there's a lot of bad friends fans a big. time right and they're like what are you. doing here we never thought you yeah. some guy goes i just never thought you. i'd ever see you here you're shooting on. the stages that's why right in brooklyn. no i was shooting on the stages but the. hotel is in right in the middle of you. know white. wait why the stages are in manhattan. it's in brooklyn no that's what i'm.

saying you're shooting the stages in. brooklyn that's why they put you over. there and you have you're walking the. streets all day just meeting bad friends. people yeah it was amazing. who you [ __ ] he's a bad fan. yeah yeah dead fan that fan was there. what are you talking about that fan i. thought that's what you said i couldn't. even understand he's just like rudy. i know that's why i picked them i i. thought you said that bad friends fans. this show oh bad friends oh my bad i. thought you said that. i said goose.

if you play back the recording. i said bad friends i don't know where. you get that fan from my bad that's what. it sounded like to me i was over here. like that got that many fans in new york. that's crazy that's what i thought let. me back this up yeah [ __ ]. have you been getting have you been. getting a lot of ass lately is that what. i missed did i miss a lot of you like. this is this is what it is yeah i've. been trying to find how to get this. goddamn comedy going so that's where. i've been yeah trying to do that and. work in a regular part-time job with. amazon that's all i've been doing what. are you doing with amazon just uh doing.

some shopping it's like you know they. give me an iphone people shop and then i. go and shop for the food for them and. put them in bags and then they send them. off that's it that's easy yes you do it. at the warehouse or is it at a store. both it's one of many it's not a. warehouse per se it's more of a just. like a big shopping center with just us. in there no customers or nothing and we. just shop you put in headphones you. gotta tell you you don't have to talk to. anybody they don't let us no more they. don't why because uh. safety regulations you want to do your. thing do you have an instagram yeah.

what's what is it doc willis comedy can. you believe this guy asked me i don't. even thought you follow it do you have a. podcast no you why wouldn't you have a. pocket with a voice like this man listen. to the smoothness of that but. ladies and gentlemen welcome to the bad. friends podcast featuring andrew santino. bobby lee and me doc willis say that. real smooth ladies and gentlemen welcome. to the buyer friends con yeah yeah thank. you. go ahead ladies and gentlemen welcome to. the bad friends podcast with bobby lee. and my boy andrew santino.

damn that's good would you say this with. me but you know how you put you know oh. you know how he slowed down a bit notice. how he put my boy in front of. yeah do this oh. don't me yeah. go deeper bobby. no it's not it's no because i'm throwing. a photo oh the football yeah go deeper. bobby don't slow it down though. go deeper bobby. [Laughter].

go beeper bobby. you see my face though yeah but now. imagine doc now imagine uh bobby is uh. bobby is bobby's. you're locked in a room doc you're. locked and he's got a smash on the door. say. say go harder bobby because he's got to. smash the room as i smash the door say. that one yeah let me do it because i'm. envisioning he's got to go harder bobby. slow it down though slow it down deeper.

voice. go harder bobby i like that i like that. a lot yeah give him another one and then. it's like imagine now um yeah just. imagine that you guys are uh. you're making like you're hard-boiled. you're hard-boiled eggs hard-boiled eggs. you know and you gotta take them up. before they get too hard otherwise you. know what i mean it gets bad so so say. uh ooh take it out bobby ooh take it out. bobby yeah yeah real slow twice. no no this is for the best we animated. it is this okay this is distracting.

yeah oh take them out bobby. take it out it's just one egg. yeah there's one so he's only boiling. one egg boiling one egg he says we're. hungry he's not making a salad just okay. ooh take it out bobby perfect i got one. all right you gotta come into your yeah. come into your house i'm coming to your. house. i knock on your door right just say. slowly. come inside. let him in the house no come inside.

bobby. come inside come inside bobby. that sounds real inviting yeah. it sounds warm and welcoming. warm and welcoming feels good. okay good. so [ __ ] up. yeah yeah we're you know we we love you. we're just ki you know i really you know. i i [ __ ] with you but you know. that's what it is that's what our. relationship is i want to say i want to. ask you a real question before when you. did leave when you did leave the store. what did you say to adam.

did you say goodbye to anybody like you. said about. everybody because everybody knew i was. gonna leave me and they threw they. actually threw me like a i know. what i'm saying did you i know that but. i mean did you do something did you. privately go up to people and say some. [ __ ] or no did you have did you did you. ever go up to anybody and have your. final goodbyes like a [ __ ] you to. anybody that you didn't like. no. no but let me ask you this because it. wasn't are there guys that you didn't. like nobody worked for all those other. guys there were guys there you couldn't. there was for sure guys you didn't like. yeah i mean i wouldn't even say.

yeah then i did yeah it's definitely. guys i didn't like but it's not. that they ain't worth my energy they. ain't worth my time i don't believe. who's the biggest [ __ ] to you in the. lot in the lot. i mean i mean i think. oh my god. it's like i can't even. it's like it's a given it's a giveaway. with him so i loved it. i love this all right so what happened. with him was. you know how i parked the cars and this. is back when they used to be crazy on.

the lot right right jam packs okay just. to let people know right the parking lot. probably legally fits seven cars. a hotel and there's a and there's a. gigantic driveway that goes up. everywhere we. made some sort of deal where we could. park our cars along that railway just. down the river all the way up right to. the house yeah and we've had i've had. i've seen chris rock's car be towed i.

mean crazy [ __ ] right so. it's a [ __ ] to say the least i've. done it before and i did it one night. and. i don't know if he's an asian or. whatever but they just said you can't do. it again. your sheer disregard. for your own. you know how i drive oh yeah i don't. think they're gonna do it against a bad. driver. uh so. he says uh doc get my car. then i get his car and i pull it out.

move all the cars you know how you got. to do this goddamn tetris. yeah yeah i move it get it. and then he's not ready to go. so i [ __ ] had to get other people out. i had to maneuver again and move people. back and put his [ __ ] back and then he. came out again 30 minutes later and was. like i gotta go and i go [ __ ] and i do. it again yeah and then he leaves again. and then yeah he comes back out. i move all the cards to then i remove. all the cards on the rim this time it's. like 11 30. it's jam packed this is when.

everybody's there yeah that's like so i. moved all the cars on the ramp and i had. to put three cars on sunset so i had to. block the driveway of the hyatt for. people to go in and coming out oh my god. so and the car i was in i had to come. out to the second lane on the other side. of that and block that whole lane. a man pulls up oh my god and he starts. talking to chris delia from the trump. for like five minutes. this [ __ ] then he. and then. the police come.

and they honk the siren at me hey move. your car you're blocking i command this. guy. right yeah yeah so i pulled back in he's. still talking yeah then he's like okay. doc i want to go i go you want to. [ __ ] go now okay so i pulled back out. and blocked the traffic again now mind. you the cars are still blocking the. driveway of all the cars trying to get. out right like they're stuck now i got a. line there everybody's walking at me and. they're like whoa this little black gary. colt you know. [ __ ].

so. i pulled back out he pulls up and then. he stops and starts talking to neil. brennan now by this time the cops see. what's going on yeah they yell from the. siren to him hey no no actually i get. out the car and i start yelling at him. yeah oh man what the [ __ ] yeah why don't. you look at this yeah this is crazy yeah. and then he pulls up yeah and he says. hey doc. you know you should have a little bit. more zen about this is saying are you. [ __ ].

did you see this [ __ ] yeah like man he. was like you know that's a little bit. too much and then the cop yells from the. speakerphone hey move your car you have. all the traffic back up he's like oh. okay officer all right i'm like oh you. want to listen to the officer yeah. man [ __ ]. that was like. and then the next day he came in. we got into an argument about it oh you. got a new fight about it and then he. and then like it was something i had to. do. later on and i wanted to contact him. about something or and he.

[ __ ] blocked me on facebook and. deleted me. oh my god [ __ ] so i was just like that. was it for you yeah that was like [ __ ]. but we after that i think we had made up. after that but it was just like that was. like the word like the worst. i've ever. the most [ __ ] you dealt with yeah. i don't know man that just triggered me. that story. did it a little bit. because of the past. yeah. it brings up a lot. it triggered me bobby is so maniacal he.

plans someone's demise and when he. watches them fall he sits in his. underwear in his little room. you love watching your enemies get. listen listen. i'm in real deep therapy right now. just hear me out okay and i'm addressing. all that stuff right is it today did you. go today yesterday i did how was it it. was good but my point is is that that. there's um. there's issues that i look at like i ask. why do i do certain things.

why do i behave in the way i behave. it's like um. a lot of it's just fear really a fear of. what. um rejection and i also have i avoid. things because i i fear. trauma. right. and it's like um. i'll just give an example. the two jobs that. i'm doing right now right which is. the reservation dogs and sex in the city. yeah are two jobs that in the beginning.

i turned down because of fear. fear that you couldn't come uh couldn't. just i just you know one of them was a. doctor it's like. do i even know how to do that to be a. doctor yeah and the other one was. something else i do i know how to do. that. and it turns out that i can you know i. mean i do and you know but it's like. but before i would just not do things. because of fear. because things you know so that's. something that you know that you're. working through yeah and it's also i i. do have this thing where i get slighted. by people and i um i'm by who like.

people enemies. yeah who's sliding you. it's not a slight it's like. like one time i wanted in the person but. two years ago before the pandemic. i. was in the or. and the guy it was martin lawrence. literally i was literally next yeah and. he goes but bobby lee. and as i'm walking some other person. walked in front of me and went up on. stage.

i gotta go she goes i gotta she goes i. gotta go i'm going up now. in my head i'm like. and this person never apologized right. so i hold on to those little things but. now. i let them go you're learning to let. them go yes you still have a few in your. belly. there's some you'll never let go. no i i no i i really will let it go you. will even something happened to me. recently that i'm letting go. you want to say it whatever. who did it. you know what it is man oh fine.

i'll let it go do you hold on to [ __ ] do. you go to therapy. no you don't go to sleep i shoulda my. mother told me i should have when i was. when i was younger why do you think why. do you think you want it you don't want. to do it. you think it's not cool. is it just well at the time. what if you want to be honest with you. yeah. there was this street [ __ ] that you. can't talk to therapists about. right. what there's street [ __ ] you can't talk. to a therapist about what isn't their. confidentiality.

oh what the [ __ ]. no you ever you ever go uh. if you ever there's a there's an italian. mafia uh guy named michael franzis you. know what i'm about. and so he did a podcast with vlad all. the time yeah and then he said on there. he was talking about. whether uh. sopranos was true. and he said that. he said you're kidding me he said. if. if a mafia member went to a therapist. he'll end up in the trunk a week later.

that's how it is. the. street guys can't go to a therapist. you just don't if if if you have done. things. as a teenager on the street wild enough. so you can't go to a therapist and be. like yeah you know this happened. it's it's like one of those things where. you just go okay well you know what. we're gonna let this one go. yeah they can't they can't they have to. tell the cops if they hear anything. illegal if you do anything illegal at. all they're gonna snitch. they don't have your back like that.

that's not your buddy. so you're saying that you have certain. things that you did in your past that. were illegal that can get you in trouble. now. i don't i i don't know. you can't kill anybody with a squirt gun. as many baseball bats. and then like well here's one thing that. i just couldn't talk to about was when i. was selling crack my father was on crack.

so i used to sell crack to my fox oh. [ __ ]. no you give him a little family discount. yeah i used to hook him up you know i'm. saying but here's what happened right. did that do you ever feel guilty selling. crack to your old man. after he died but that first moment when. he was alive. would smoke his whole check away right. right and you should so. and he never gave me so when he yeah so. when he would bad for me it was like. child support yeah no not even child. support it was more like uh. kids would be like hey when you get the. new juice shoes from i would be like my.

daddy bought me these you know what i'm. saying i didn't have to tell him that he. bought crack it's like my father you. know what i'm saying so like but how. much have you talked about that on stage. um. i may have talked about it once twice. maybe. so did he die from crack no no no how do. you die suicide oh [ __ ]. oh. okay it's kudos. it's been a long.

him yeah did he shoot him. no he hung himself he hung you hung. himself and so so. don't what. don't. what i wasn't gonna do anything. i'm just asking go ahead or go right. don't. what okay.

i don't even know i wish i knew what you. thought i was going to do because i want. to do it i know. but i don't i don't think you i don't. have anything locked into what you're. you know was your dad as tall as you or. taller yeah he started me he was talking. he was tall i just got the bad end of. the stick but that's. my mama was taller than me she was about. bobby how high were the ceilings in the. basement. regular you know regular eyes oh yeah. you were thinking.

[Applause]. just got to go to the garage and get the. biggest [ __ ] ladder they've got. for real you need to talk about that. [ __ ] that's so real so you walked in you. walked in you saw him you know. dangling i'll i'll tell you i'll tell. you. ornaments oh yeah like it's not a. [ __ ].

tell us how it happened yeah chicago. what year detroit detroit i mean detroit. 1991 1991 right so. y'all headed this out right hell no. but anyway he. he was supposed to bring my mother. because they had separated yeah. because i moved she moved me out so that. i can get myself together and then she. moved. and then so he could try to get himself. together but he never did. so. he was supposed to take her some clothes.

the rest of her things and he never. showed up. she called me. he had actually called me. before her. and he tells me that he's going to kill. himself and then he tells me to hold you. yeah yeah he went through the whole. thing and we talked about it and he told. me and i said uh well you don't have to. do it blah blah blah. and i said you know you know you can. fight this he's like no i can't and then. he told me he left me some instructions. to take care of my mother and my. grandmother and hell man and he was like. uh. so then.

when my mother called me she's like he's. supposed to bring these clothes he never. came can you go and get the clothes and. i go oh [ __ ]. so i forgot. that i actually talked to him earlier. like completely forgot so he said i'm. going to kill myself and you're like. yeah yeah i got stuff to do oh no no no. no let me let me. break it it was four days later oh i was. like the same way yeah no no no it was. four days later that's what it was but. did you really believe he was that he. meant it when he said that or no yeah. because. he tried to kill himself before that.

[ __ ] and me and my mother caught and. found him on the ground did you did you. what same thing try to hang up no this. time he had drunk a bottle of iron dying. yeah almost but he didn't so wait a. minute so hold on one second so then he. told you that day yeah did you go call. anybody or talk to anybody or do you not. say a word. like you i didn't say anything because. you told nobody yeah because. i didn't even. like. they didn't even register after i got. off the phone with him that he was going. to actually go and try and attempt it i.

forgot you know i'm 17. you thought it. wasn't that you said i'm thinking he'll. be all right man he's just having a bad. day you know right so then four days. later then four days later she called me. he's supposed to bring the clothes can. you go get the clothes yeah. i get in the car. i go over there do you have a feeling on. the way there that something's wrong or. no yeah 100 you knew yeah you were like. so when i got there i was like oh [ __ ]. because i didn't tell her i was like oh. [ __ ] i did talk no because she asked me. what kind of car smart car she asked me. she said did you talk to him.

[Music]. it was a wind-up you had to pull it all. the way. he had to pull it all the way before he. got in. okay. so uh. we go. what happened oh so.

when she told me that and she asked me. did you talk to him and i go yeah i'll. talk to him friday but that's it so. she's like we're going back to the house. so i go over there like i say. and when i got to the front door and i. got ready to open the door one of my. friends from from she won the street. dudes ran up to me he's like hey man you. say your paws been in this house man he. said we haven't seen him since friday he. said you know yo pops used to let the. dog out something wrong let's kick the. door in and i said nah man no no wait i. was about to open the door i said damn i. forgot my goddamn key and then he was. like kick the door in man i'm telling.

you man he ain't been out he in there. something wrong yeah and i was like nah. man chill out let me let me go get my. key and i'll be back you went back home. yeah went back home to get my keys you. went got a sandwich so. yeah all right. man i'm hungry. i would break the door down i mean it's. no no because i still didn't think. nothing really at that point too much no. i felt it but i'm saying. i was more like. man not chill don't i think you're. probably yeah you're probably fighting. the feelings yeah yeah i was like damn i.

said okay how far is your house from. there no you talking 30 minutes yeah. like i'm on the east that's on the west. side of detroit i was on the east side. so it's a pretty big disc. so. i go home. get the key. and then it kicks in and i'm like holy. [ __ ] let me go get my mama so i drive up. to the job and i was like hey. you got to come with me and she's like. what and then i'm like you got to call. with me i said something wrong like that.

and she goes are you you okay and then. she goes in tell the boss whatever and. then we leave so we get there. and as soon as we open the door. and we walk in. no no we walk when i walked when before. we open the door the dog runs into the. window and he's got phone all on his. mouth and he's barking like. hella aggressive he never looked like. this and i go what the [ __ ] he hasn't. eaten and drank anything yeah yeah. exactly so i'm like [ __ ] and i'm like.

calm down and when he sees me he's crazy. he started getting his dog's name. his name was lee. bobby. anyway. so then uh. i go in that's his real name too lee. yeah. uh so. we go in. and she says you go upstairs and see if. you're up there and then i'm gonna check. down here you said that in the living. room she said to me so i go upstairs. and this guy got all has all the doors.

to the room's clothes upstairs bathroom. door every door closed and i'm like [ __ ]. so i'm like all right [ __ ] it if you. want one of these room i guess i'm gonna. find him i kick open my old bedroom door. he's not in there. i kick open the bathroom bedroom door. then it was another door down the. hallway i kicked that door open then. they master bedroom i was like [ __ ]. so i waited and then i pushed the door i. kicked it open when i kicked it pushed. it open yeah and then i looked in. and all the sheets were pulled off the. bed and in the middle of the bed there. was a life insurance.

so i looked on me that's what the [ __ ]. is this because he he worked for ford. too. so i looked at the life insurance and. i'm like what is this and i said okay. whatever and i go down the stairs. if the sheets are pulled off the life. insurance thing on the back you think. nothing about it bro i'm telling you. just like that just [ __ ] just. willy-nilly. there was this note. saying goodbye and i was like what is. this is he going on vacation. this dude is leaving so many [ __ ].

breadcrumbs and doc is like. where is he outside so then you go what. to the basement yeah don't know so then. i go down to the living room. and my mother's in the living room. and she's like he's not in here. and i said okay she said he's not in the. kitchen you know nowhere around here at. any point are you yelling out pop. dad are you guys yelling through the. house like no we never called for him no. yeah yeah and then so. i say uh well. hell no because for me i told you i was. already feeling eerie and [ __ ] i was.

like man oh [ __ ] man i'm like you know. i'm already just like damn like this. might be. so. she says to me. something about. the dog in the basement and the dog kept. grabbing my pants and pulling me towards. the basement and it ran back grabbed my. pants and i kept slapping them like stop. playing he would run literally it's at. least not playing. you knew it's like yeah you knew that's. good listening yeah my friend anyway. so. we.

she she says what a dog she said well. the dog is probably hungry go outside. and get his pelvis in the basement i go. oh [ __ ] i said you didn't go in the. basement and she goes what i go you. didn't go to the [ __ ] basement and i. said listen call the police right now. and then she goes. what you're you're what's wrong with you. and i said no call the police she said. boy come here and go in this basement. with me and i was like nah you need to. so. you knew of course she knew i knew then. life insurance because i said she scores. close four days yeah the dog it's in. here whenever he smoked crazy he's.

always scared he always smoked in the. basement right so that was like the. first place she should have checked out. like he [ __ ] probably was in the. basement because he smoked crack in the. basement he would never smoke crack. upstairs. i've i don't know. i've just only came home he we surprised. him he'd oh [ __ ]. happy birthday he's like oh no. [Laughter]. like it was just a couple times. he didn't hear us come in or whatever.

and going to be like god damn you in. there smoking crap get back to the day. okay now okay. so there's this door. we open the door yeah and there's the. stench come up oh. my god what does that smell like crack. it's no it's a dead body for me yeah and. crack and it's the summer too so it's. been on there for about four days oh. summertime crap yeah. so uh man. damn damn dude so you walk down the. stairs so she's i'm behind her i stopped.

like five stairs before her i'm like i'm. not going down the stairs it's like a. haunted house and she was like get down. here and come down here and then what. are you talking about like that she's. not thinking nothing i said [ __ ]. all right so i started coming down and. she gets down to the bottom i'm coming. down i'm about a couple stairs. behind her yeah and she goes see look. that's all this uh. doodle on the ground you smelling blah. blah blah and then i look around and i. say oh i guess you're right and then. she looks up and she says. what are you like she's about to ask him.

what he's doing a question and then i. returned and i got really look at him. and she screamed. and then she pushed me it was like so. for me right now to this day i still. don't have that image of what was over. here the only image i have now is just. her face so once when i look like this. over here towards him. she screamed and pushed me so it was. like a boom boom so it wasn't enough for. me to grasp a hundred percent and just. well i grasped it but not enough to.

where it it [ __ ] with me but it wasn't. as bad that i i feel like it wasn't so. you never looked at the body not at all. she went back in the house and. everything and trust him and everything. god damn it oh like [ __ ] so you never. after that you never saw it again no i. won't go in no until you went to the. funeral. yep you had to open well. he was so swollen you couldn't have a uh. opening oh my god so we didn't even get. to have it all. wow this is a comedy podcast spot. man.

how do we. make some jokes yeah we can make some. jokes. go ahead well we did throw a couple in. there yeah yeah yeah yeah he was swollen. and you couldn't have you couldn't have. a funeral no black people love funerals. no we don't. nobody likes funerals do they dress up. they do it they i've seen some really. good like i've seen some where they prop. up the body at his favorite video game. table yeah that's some weird [ __ ] that. they do now i'm like. i've seen people have your real [ __ ]. yeah some black fingers they go all the. way they're doing that with latinos.

they now they if they have a favorite. thing that they like to do they put them. in that position at a position and. decorate uh like and have something. you've never seen like a set yo can you. bring this up i don't know if i want to. see this no it's not it's not going to. creep you out i mean it's just it's not. i don't want to see a guy playing war. zone but he's dead. and they're standing around him like. i swear to god that's crazy i swear to. god it's the wildest [ __ ]. look at that look at that look at that. like a guy in a boat. oh my god that's hilarious.

that's hilarious. yeah that. there's an elvis one is that elvis a. dead guy no no okay up to the right you. see that dead people life-like poses. that's it dead people life like poses. right there that's a woman they propped. up. unbelievable click on that article. that'll tell you. that's unbelievable you know shanice she. loved her wine so we pro we're bush. light. hold look at that drink go down and see.

if there's insane. wait wait wait she said look at that. look at this no that's insane look at. this dude let me zoom it in the body of. mickey esterling in new york's new. orleans socialite sits on a bench. surrounded by flowers look at they prop. her up oh my god i think that's a good. idea you want to be like this yeah. scroll down a little bit look at this. one. look at how crazy that is no no dude why. don't pass the photo that stay lynette. carmona wright the wife of late boxer. chris jeffer riviera hugs the boxer that. the guy to the left is a boxer that's.

dead dead yeah he's dead no he's alive. that guy's going i'm getting i'm getting. the next hug. that's really a guy. look at this that's how they do it. that's insane stands next to his body. propped up in a fake boxing ring during. san juan in san juan puerto rico dude. this is a thing go down go down this is. amazing. this guy's no no no no no no no no no. no no way. look at this motorcycle he that that's. his let go down a little bit the body of. david morales cologne was placed on his.

motorcycle in peculiar view and peculiar. viewing ceremony that his family. requested shot in san juan puerto rico. apparently it's a lot of puerto ricans. that are doing this. latinos do that all of that. this is amazing. oh i wish there was more there's none. more do puerto rican themed funerals. apparently the puerto ricans got this. [ __ ] on luck show this to jock talk doc. do you know doc. look at that doc. do you know what that is.

yes. that's steve and bobby's mom oh and. their father my dad died right in that. right moment my dad died right now he's. dead he takes his photo right now right. this moment no no no not today i mean. what i was about to say what kind of. [ __ ] is this. trust me we've said it before okay and. this [ __ ] this guy he has this in his. i mean that you took that picture bobby. yes look at this guy green lantern. that's amazing. that's amazing. i'm telling you the puerto ricans look. at that yeah gambling gambling this.

homie. whatever they like that's the theme of. it oh my goodness. puerto rican themed black dudes and. puerto rican dudes that's who does it. look at the milk crate and what is that. one. what is that the guy waiting no no. that's a sketch oh that's a sketch. no that's just a regular picture that. standing him up in the corner. how old is that kid puerto rican. gangster propped up playing dominoes at. his own funeral. that's a real guy there's no way that's.

guys it says sam on puerto rico the dead. man is sitting with his eyes open at his. own funeral motorcycle. that motorcycle clip is bad. that's insane. [Laughter]. i don't know what it is. look at this guy yeah yeah he was a. drummer. look they put it outside isn't that word. that's outside the funeral yeah what. would you do what would you want your. body to do. but i don't know what like position do i. want in yeah this in this podcast studio. just.

in front of the podcast mike you and me. yeah. i would just say put me in like diapers. yeah put me in a gigantic panda uh-huh i. have a lasso i'm on the pad you know i. mean riding the panda yeah just. i could see that i could see you hey you. hanging from like a bamboo tree. like doc and i die at the same time. here it is all right go ahead and go. with the story bro would you be mad at. that we're dead already why wouldn't you. you're both dead what does it matter.

we're both dead yeah and we're just like. um like 69. you know i'm the boss i have my hands on. like this i'm going to that field. what about my wishes. oh that's true. how do you want to be prop what would. you think. if i had a pro oh damn that would be uh. just make you tall.

but just hanging from the hoop now. here's something with bobby in it under. my nuts. all right let's have doc sign off all. right say thank you for talking about. that that camera that one in the corner. and say thank you for being a bad friend. slow and smooth we might put some funky. ass music beneath it. thank you for being a bad friend no no.

come on draw that [ __ ] out like thank. you for being a bad friend you know draw. it the [ __ ] out thank you for being a. bad friend. damn i love that. [Music].