Transatlantic Goo | Ep 172 | Bad Friends

hey everybody friends we're on tour in. the fall we added some dates it's gonna. be great September 14th Rochester. Rochester New York 15th and we're in. Northfield Ohio September 16th two shows. one haul Monroe Pennsylvania we sold out. the first one the second one is added uh. in Munhall then October 6th where are we. Boston Massachusetts okay then October. 21st we go to Washington DC go see him. go see Biden and then we hit October. 28th we go to Denver Colorado and then. November is the 24th Milwaukee Wisconsin.

Milwaukee Wisconsin November 25th. Chicago we go Milwaukee and then Chicago. November 20th Minneapolis Minnesota. November 30th is Minneapolis Minnesota. December 1st Madison Wisconsin more. dates to come go to badfriendspod.com. bad friends.com. also and thanks to you guys I'm going on. my own tour that's tour two shows in the. biggest cities in America Irvine on July. 12th and Bakersfield on July 15th where. can they get the tickets. tell them my website jet skijohnson.com.

ring ring ring ring hi Quinnipiac. University hi it's fancy B can I do the. podcast from the school yeah sure fancy. what do you need I needed to look as. awkward as possible without any of the. normal. podcasts no microphone no headphones I. want them to be sitting as if it's a. live 60 Minutes special.

[Music]. nobody welcome listen I have a question. yeah please so I I you know whatever I. I'm not I didn't grow up around trees.

hmm a lot of woods right so let me ask. you a question dude all right you know. you watch a movie when somebody gets. like knocked out and then they end up in. a warehouse or in the middle of the. woods they're tied what is the first. thing they say when they wake up. hello why do they ask that. hello yeah they go hello they think we. talk about that already we did yes. a full episode hello. you want to start again yeah go ahead. start again are you like me when you.

listen to a song like Lionel Richie or. Adele and they say hello and they say. hello do you say hello back I always do. hello hello anyway that's all I want I. want to start off that one. and we've never talked about that before. yeah and you know what Lionel Richie man. Lionel Richie yeah Lionel Richie what. did he do. his face is out of control why it's just. so Lionel richie-ish all right it's. uniquely here it's just like so and also. he's like he's got the [ __ ] cosmetic. surgery so now he's looking like a black.

Benedict Cumberbatch Comfort patch yeah. what is better than Cumberbatch look. like he had facial plastic surgery all. the time he did he was in a tragic. accident when he was seven years old. Doctor Strange he did yeah he was in the. car accident they had to fix him yeah. you remember I do here we are in. Quinnipiac University home of men's NCAA. division one hockey championships this. year they beat Minnesota. uh they sure did beat Minnesota the long. time uh most winningest hockey's.

Championship are of course uh Michigan I. don't like the sport I don't care about. the college sport of course Denver and. Michigan hold the reigning uh nine. titles a piece I believe uh and. Quinnipiac University men's NCAA. division one hockey Champs of this year. and they've hosted us at their college. thanks to fancy B thank you fancy B for. having us we are in the midst of a. wooded area that we drove through today. in Connecticut yeah it's called The. Sleeping Giant Hill Woods State Park. sleeping giant State Park you think your.

people live in the forest no but if you. were lost in the forest I'd be like if. you saw naked Bobby Lee there peek. around a [ __ ] oak tree yeah. right you'd be like [ __ ] he lives here. yeah. um. is that the language you speak yeah. somebody said that we seem like we have. our own language do you think we can. communicate without using English let's. try it. ready ready I'm gonna so we're in an. elevator I got I need to know the. environment yeah.

a job interview I'm interviewing you. yeah and I'm and I'll tell you what the. factory it's a factory yeah for what. felt oh felt Factory for Muppets and. stuff oh okay yeah puppets and stuff. puppets and Muppets yeah but we're in um. an island off of the off of Thailand. off the coast of Tunisia gonk oh gonk. Island yeah gonk Island got it right. I replaced the end with another o. right that's how crafty I am I like it.

but if you put the O in the place with n. it'll sound something different what. what is it. exactly so a different felt Factory. ready um. foreign.

[Laughter]. what happened in that yeah you said hi. I'm here to interview for the job and. you said you have any experience and you. said yes I have tons of experience with. Muppets and you said do you finger The.

Muppets and then you acting how to hold. the fingering no it does exactly what it. was and then when I brought it to you. what were you thinking and you were like. who's that and you're like I don't know. and I'm also thinking I don't know who I. am in this sketch either I was never. introduced. I did a swipe so what was the swipe. about. um I would swipe off her on Tinder I. don't know which way exactly you would. say no no she looks hard our word is. yeah very slow and we made fun of your. breasts and my breasts are funny oh.

that's not I didn't that's not. I thought you're saying they're really. fun yeah that's what I mean no I thought. this meant like jacket like jacket. jacket oh no it was boobs. you see their boobs or Poncho yeah yeah. Pancho Pancho Pancho Poncho oh that's. what it was yeah yeah so let me ask yeah. did he get the job. he owned the factory yeah you just gave. it to me like that I was CAO I don't CEO. and I was like no he's better he's got. to have it yeah and I you and I right we.

die. we tried it that makes sense who dies. first. she dies dude in any scenario she dies. first I jumped to catch a bullet but it. goes through me and kills him anyway. yeah we'll go right through yeah yeah no. you're going to the gym a lot lately so. you might be tough that muscle might be. thick I just started going to the gym. but thank you let me see your muscle. show me your arm my arm muscle look at. that thing something in there jacked. we're all going to the gym I think you. should join you said you were gonna. start doing it I love to let me ask you. another question man ask a question I'd.

love about diversion diverge I love to. let me ask you something if we were in a. war right I got shot and the bullet went. through my body and hit you would you. die too or would the bullet be not as. potent I think you have enough padding. to slow it down oh yes okay I think if. it went through me just say fat I know I. said padding I think it went through me. of kill you immediately if it went. through me right but you've got way more. cushion for the pushing would you think. you would live and I would die. uh if the bullet went through you and. hit me no yeah I threw you oh if it went. through me I didn't hit me you'd I would.

die and you'd be severely uh impaired. right I feel like it would bounce off my. body though no didn't go right through. that thing okay it's soft right like it. looks like it's a tough exterior but. then you can get through it real easy. like Play-Doh yeah would you rather get. shot or have to deal with that machete. Oh shot immediately kill me immediately. you want to get stabbed slowly I want I. like the drama. and I like I want to show my acting. chops you're not you're not gonna be. acting you're gonna be that's gonna be. reeling yeah it's method acting but.

that's deep yeah so you're gonna slowly. die yeah. I I probably need a couple of takes. yeah yeah I just thought about that yeah. and sliced me again I would say. I do it again because I wasn't in the. moment go ahead I'm bleeding now already. I have to fart hold on ooh let me make. you mad no I beg farts today I know. sorry that's a good defense though if. you're getting hacked up farting yeah.

yeah like squids put out that black yeah. yellow fog yellow. wow and all the pro look at this person. going for a run in the in the Hidden. Forest and look at those shorts he's. wearing good luck though you go out. there you go out there to where the. sleeping giant is dude let me just say. something right now you white people you. guys really do live this life I just saw. it what do you mean taking a run no yeah. but no he doesn't give a [ __ ]. I'm gonna wear these shorts I'm free of.

the woods it is yeah. look at the trees right it's you're. frolicking that's not even [ __ ]. running that's frolicking. that's a skip no we don't do that man. what do you mean yes you do what do you. mean you think Asians don't go for a. reason we Frolic no we run skip no we. don't skip you never skip do it as a as.

a [ __ ] Rickshaw Runner I'm gonna try. to get as fast as you can to your. destination so I can make more money. more tips yeah if I get fast I brought. you the Shanghai Hyatt. right I'm staying at the Hyatt oh yeah. Four Seasons thank you Shanghai Four. Seasons yeah yeah I go hey buddy get on. and I'll go hey man you did a great job. it was 20. yeah and I'll get you to you. give me to my destination yeah.

I think you do a great job but I do. think you could live this life I know. you say that but you could live this. life with the white people I think you. could you do you've grown up amongst. whites you you act like you're white I'm. white adjacent no I think you're white. in you're in white no dude I feel white. you're off-white your Virgil ablo's off. white because you know you're egg white. you're egg white. no no he's the yolk yeah I'm the egg. white. in the in the breakfast sandwich of bad. friends I'm the egg white he's the yolk.

you're the English muffin I'm the muffin. you're the muffin for sure but I'm the. fattening part that's right hell yeah. that's why you're the yellow I get it. you're all the cholesterol that's flavor. baby. oh well you're the English muffin you're. dry yeah but I hold everything together. yes you do and you have many crevasses. little nooks and crannies give us your. best British accent right now okay okay. oh my God that's so bad do it again what. you mean you didn't like it the first. time oh it's so [ __ ] bad so bad I.

like it tell me your tell me in your. best British accent that like your. grocery store list like you're reading. me off your your grocery store oh right. all right let's see what we got here I. need some potatoes potatoes let her do. it let her do it I want to pick that. word. I guess we don't sell that here. Asperger's yeah you're the store manager. bonjour yeah they do they do hello hello. hello.

Brothers. yes you have. yes Asperger's is an internal disease. right or no no Affliction the one that. makes your piss smell oh we have got. that in the in the in the vegetable. veggie aisle all right all right all. right all right you know what's so great. we're at a this is like a film school. yeah we're fired imagine how little. these kids are learning from us they're. listening to this being like this can't. be good this is not what we should be. knowing let me ask you this I think that. sounds really good the English come over.

here right and then through time we came. up with our own accent what the [ __ ]. happened how come we don't talk like. this now well you know transatlantic. became an accent when they were crossing. over the ocean because so many people. are blending their their accents. together and then what happened is when. you move to different sections. transatlantic so they're they're binary. too huh the oceans. are non-binary yeah yeah like like have. you ever seen the oceans are getting. involved well the Pacific Ocean so if I. call it ocean a lake they're like Maybe.

I can be whatever I want they want oh. certain ocean to be a river is that what. they're saying it can now. it's just a body it's too far a body. it's too far for me what's next you're. gonna take away River rights yeah but if. you know if I'm like looking at the. ocean I'm going hey Pacific Europe. you're an ocean and they're like I'm a. puddle they're in my mind I'd be like I. don't think you are man yeah but I am. I'm the Pacific Ocean and I'll be. whatever I want to be okay okay I'm not. even water anymore how about that or on.

land and land is water whoa that's. intense so nothing makes sense anymore. correct nothing means anything it's a. transatlantic yeah transatlantic yeah do. you know what the Transatlantic accent. was do you know what I'm referring to no. when you hear this very like astute. Debonair type of talk when everyone went. up yes that was a Transatlantic accent I. mean there was like a during the course. of people coming over accidents were. merged and forged together so it's kind. of scounded like this like TV talk a.

little bit old timey Hollywood yeah. exactly right yeah transatlantic had. very much of this a a very astute. Atlantic nobody sounded like that in. England. like this now get your paper but then. that stuff all dissipated when people. started to move away. well show me your ticket show me your. dukes or put them up. I said I took them out don't come up. pick them up I see I say do come up put. on some Billy Hollow there so here come. up you land on Ellis Island yeah right.

where's the first place you're moving to. out of Thailand. well you can't move here man this is the. port so you got to pick a place okay I. I'll I'll move to. um Maine. Maine. what part of Maine. Portsmouth Portsmouth Maine is it is. there sure is is it really so you came. all the way here from China yeah yes I. have. and what's that what's your trade my. trade yeah Dynamite so you just have you.

make dynamite well at first my friend. at first my friend I was gonna work on. the railroad that's it I have a movie. this is it yeah I was gonna win the. railroad a transatlantic Chinese guy. yeah yeah but I found out that the. Chinese were blowing up so I decided I'm. gonna move to Portsmouth and I'll tell. you my buddy friend do. and I'm gonna work in the lobster trade. oh smart and clams and muscles and other. Crustaceans sounds like you got your.

whole life patterned out. does anybody want a paper why are you. trying to fight everyone. is your publication refused to work on. the railroad is your publication called. Duke Em Up yes do them up papers you see. and I you know you know you from where I. come from right we do no I'm now. transatlantic I do it. dude that would be a cool [ __ ] Ramen. Ramen what let's start a Ramen company.

called goo come up. what do you mean. welcome to America kid yes thank you. what's my new name I'm Chang no not. anymore I know but I will say what is my. name now your name's Jimmy Jimmy Wilson. Chang your post chat what's my last name. your name is Chang Jimmy.

post change. you know the legend of Jimmy do come up. post Chang one of the greatest boxer. slash crustacean sellers of all time. hello. but know you know what sucks about us. back in the day you know I mean we were. in San Francisco Asians right yeah and. probably New York and stuff right. because you know the Chinatown and stuff. like that but there was no cross like do. you think back in the day in the 40s or. the 30s I'd be able to get white girls. no yeah white girls had no rights no.

what. you still don't yeah you know I have a. little more white girls got no rights my. girl's got no rights are you talking. about oh they could have vote and why. did you get married one easy no but he's. saying could he hook up with white girls. they're not gonna hook up you'd have to. marry one and be like you wouldn't even. marry him I think that they would look. right through me not if you were Jimmy. everybody knows you oh [ __ ] yeah.

very successful shellfish business well. yeah I've heard of you are you Jimmy. dugama post Chang yes I've heard of it. crustacean business I have the cross. Nation business would you like to eat my. White muffin does it taste like mussels. hair story hair story is best known for. its hero product new wash the first of. its kind custom formula that cleans. conditions detangles and restores hair. without harsh Foams and damaging.

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back. I'll be back I'll be back I'll be back. all of the years I spent all these years. I explained. fancy can you make a animation. it's wrong yeah right I could do that. all of the years. that that I spent I spent lifting. weights lifting weight in Australia yeah. that's good. it's pretty good Jimmy.

Jimmy Duke him up post Chang anyway so I. always think about like you know this is. the only time where my people could be. here in the last maybe three or four. years what do you mean be here in. Connecticut no in America. you've been in America. I know I'm just saying for a long time. but in the early you know in the 1800s. or early 19th century I wouldn't be able. to be here I wouldn't have I wouldn't. have the life that I have no I couldn't. do stand up. do you not know about the the one of the. most famous cowboys of all time no John.

Wayne. John Wayne oh I've never heard of him. tell me do you come up. he was a famous bank robber whoa yeah. that's interesting tell me more about. John Wayne hands to the sky and he would. go rob banks he literally took trains. across the west and read rob banks he. was a famous this is a real guy really. famous John Wayne yeah yeah let me see. if I can play here yeah stick him up I. hands to the sky listen here wank what. you've been through these parts before.

you think you're gonna get away with. this oh you tricked me. I don't have a girl oh. comedian too oh yeah he was a comedian. yeah he made the bank tellers laugh. that's how he got their mind I've never. seen you do an Asian accent and you. never will. I would love to hear. it well dude have you seen this video. that circulated about the the howling or. they call it the they call it the. what is it called it's called like the I. watched it the other night about there's. a bunch of sailors that they say.

um what the ones with the lobster with. the eggs no no no I was uh kick him out. I was uh no no no no no there's a bunch. I'm kidding let me kick him up but I'm. kidding no no there's a bunch of sailors. that there's a there's a theory you have. to look it up Macon about. um. getting called into the sea about. mermaids they have a Sirens the sirens. yes Sirens history do you know about the. Sirens of the sea yeah I play video. games they sing but have you have you.

heard it there's a video that's. circulating the internet now of of a guy. of a fisherman out in the sea and the. sirens sounds so but they can do that in. post no no no no I'm on the boat I'm not. gonna this is shot on like a [ __ ]. Samsung Galaxy oh well then that's real. and he just heard the sound he's. recording and he's like listen to this. and he's showing that there's tracers in. the water and he's like what is tracing. with us and his buddy is like you know. nobody knows and then the hearing the. sirens and they start talking about it. and then all the thread below it is. about how the sirens was this old myth.

that that uh mermaids would call Sailors. to jump in but this used to happen a lot. people would kind of lose their. orientation yeah and they would jump. into the sea Pirates and sailors and. stuff because of the Sirens of these of. these maidens from the sea it made me. really believe in mermaids I genuinely. think it's real okay seriously do you. not believe in mermaids I don't actually. no no it's now I'm not saying listen to. me though yeah I'm not saying mermaid in. the traditional sense where you see like. half woman with that fish body below you.

believe in aliens but we have no idea. what they look like so why wouldn't you. believe in like a merging humanistic. form that lives under the sea because I. don't live in space so I don't know. about the aliens do you believe on Earth. do you believe in them yeah but because. theoretically there's billions of. [ __ ] planets out there some of those. planets probably can support life but. the depth of the ocean the depths of the. ocean we we have no idea we have no clue. we know we know less about the ocean. than we know about space. ah. hi.

[Laughter]. who I believe that they could have. existed at one point absolutely really. just some dude that looks like Jason. Momoa from the wait stop do you think. everyone has looked like you since the. beginning of time I hope not either I. know so we've changed shape and form do. I have also deep cut when it comes to uh. humans. you're a pretty shallow cut. what when it comes to humanistic form I. mean you're kind of like no I'm like an. original yeah you're like the beginning. stages then they carve it up into. something more beautiful.

no that's not like I'm a slab of [ __ ]. concrete like the beginning. look at that little clay ball trying to. get up in the chair when aliens come. down here they're gonna look at me and. they go wow they did it. wow they finally [ __ ] it up no no. no other way yeah well wow they make one. of these too we have some on our planet. yeah yeah we play with it and they live. in the bottom of the arrow. so wait the mermaid in space is you I'm.

up you're a space mermaid to them you're. a mermaid yeah yeah I like that you. really do believe in mermaids they'll be. 100 what would your siren can I hear. your siren Call I I don't believe in. them so I shouldn't have you are a. mermaid of space what's your siren Call. in space. [Music]. see. uh suck it I would I would steer towards. but in some people at the end is she.

what is she saying at the end socket. yeah there's no sound in space there is. sound there is sound if he's on a planet. okay he's on Mars checks out checks out. yeah dude imagine though if we could. take a space. eat it. I absolutely believe in mermaids wow I.

believe in something else there's other. life forms underneath the ocean that we. have no idea about. I don't know what it looks like I. believe it minotaurs sure we saw one we. know one who. you don't think that in one time I wish. we could just say whatever we want in. life we can I know honestly we can't I. wish we could do I wish in our society. we could just do a podcast where there's. no cutting no consequences no.

consequences nothing would that we could. just be free and say whatever you want. as free as we can get no we're not. because we we are cutting a lot out yeah. I want to be able to say anything I want. yeah but then you get there's. consequences I don't want consequences. why should there be consequences with. things that you say. because what do you mean because people. because because you're you're. broadcasting this to hundreds of. thousands of people yeah right so grow. up grow up no it's comedy here's the. deal we say as much as we can in a free.

form without trying to make people feel. bad yes because you want to hurt people. yeah yeah I know but you're right. because people have said things about. you that you don't like. and me I understand that but still they. should have every right to do and I. don't think I should be able to ruin. their life because they said it but. sometimes it's fun to want to ruin their. lives like fatties I want to talk about. fatties people that are chubby whatever. well do you think you're allowed to talk. about something if you fall in the. category but because you're a little. chunky right now don't you think you. fall in the category yeah that's why I. think I can no you can I've gained.

weight huh a little bit stop sucking in. your stomach no I've gained weight I see. you I'm gonna feel it Let It Go see. there it is. I gained so much weight can I can I tip. you off as maybe why cookies. you ordered four sandwiches sandwiches. that were this big he ordered four. sandwiches and you didn't even finish. them I gave them a cone Because by the. way he eats once a month and you you. left all of them in the on the table in. the fridge with one bite out with one. bite that's so wasteful so what no. that's no no good wasteful that's nice.

wasteful yeah that's what your pants say. when you put them on because. you know you know like the sea creatures. out there yeah you might see creatures. like My Little Mermaids Little Mermaids. yeah you know they're like Islands made. out of plastics that we human beings. they're out there we're cleaning them up. I don't want them to you want them to to. do because no it's not you're not. polluting because they float plastic. yeah and you know. ducks and seagulls they can relax on. them okay so check it out everybody at.

home please start throwing plastic. bottles back into the ocean I agree with. this I think we should I always look at. those colors look at that pink straw. that's jabbed into that [ __ ] Duck's. eye also when the plastic melts it. creates beautiful colors exactly yeah. when the plastic melts it's yeah it's. good for the fish it's so good you know. anyway that's just my two well tell me. what you want to talk about fat people. then because you're fat now so go ahead. no I don't but you're not I don't think. I have a broader point I want to say. well give it to me I am giving it to you. now I just saying that like you know how.

freeing would it be if we could just say. exactly what we want and how we feel. about certain things but is it how you. really feel or you know it's a joke so. you're saying I think it's a joke but. still it's like I want to be able to go. there you know but you can't go ahead. how do you feel about it I can't fat. people how do you feel I hate them oh. wow here we go I love them I love them. no see you just said you wanted to be. free. yeah so then be free no what I'm saying. yeah you're right but you know my bro my. brother this is my point you don't.

actually want to say it you're right. because if you did but I wanna I want. the freedom to have that as an option. though it is it is you of course you can. there is consequences you can go you can. go around town saying whatever you want. something may happen because of it yeah. well that's the whole point so we pick. and choose what we what we're okay with. maybe saying yeah but I think that words. and actions are two different things. yeah but one can lead to the other that. is true they're not mutually exclusive. but they can you're right you go to go.

to an all-black neighborhood yell the. n-word see if anything happens I would. never do that it's not funny I know. that's my point yeah that's what I'm. talking about what are you talking about. in a comedic way if you could talk about. certain things I mean like for instance. the whole transatlantic thing we did. yeah it was fun I know but in many ways. it we might not even able to [ __ ] air. that what are you talking about or when. I did Asian accent yeah no that one. we're keeping it I know we are also what. you're talking about the transatlantic. joke was was a broader joke yeah that's. that is Sim did you put that dip back in.

your mouth yeah good double dip double. dipping dog. that is way past the three second rule I. understand it but but I'm just first of. all can we talk about that real quick. what did did scientists measure that. [ __ ] three seconds they did germs. only move at a certain speed that's. right right so in three seconds so. there's 56 they found out they did a. bunch of research to find out terms are. slow terms are very french fry on the. floor Let's uh germs have an extra. chromosome I think a dad started that. because he was tired of his kids wasting.

food yeah it's like uh three seconds you. can still eat it okay germs have an. extra chromosome they're a little slow. oh they do they're a little no no. they're a little slow they're Downy a. little bit okay do they Huggle. what there's Down syndrome germs are. there germs that have like spinal bifida. they kind of you know what I mean that's. why they call it Downy soap because it. like. all right. yeah that's what I'm saying.

it's germs there are smaller than. regulars smaller than the eye can see. right and the other germs make fun of. them they do they pick on them yeah come. on Tommy yeah catch up we'll just throw. it up. right so what I'm saying you know what's. the longest something could be on the. floor before you'd eat it. I've eaten things after like a couple. hours actually got around the floor yeah. like a potato chip yeah oh see potato. chip I'm okay with it it's fried and.

coated not gravy I wouldn't scoop up no. of course not but I want to yeah yeah. yeah yeah yeah okay let's go over the. list of things that falls on a dirty. kitchen floor that you would pick back. up and eat a potato chip I'm totally I. I'm okay with it I'm okay with potatoes. what about a piece of fruit like a. strawberry I was just thinking that no. no it's too wet what about a hard like. an apple has a heart outside.

yeah because you could wash it. oh no sliced watermelon no just a whole. water and I can't no of course water. that's fine it sits outside that's what. I'm saying all right so what about. something that's a little bit uh like a. like. like a uh peach because a peach is soft. and a little moist if you could wash it. no you can't wash no that's the whole. point if you can't watch this yeah in. this [ __ ] Center no watch. that's the whole point of this no. washing a peach yeah you're eating it. yeah okay. for some reason I would eat a rib.

like like cooked ribs that is the most. that's the worst it's because for some. reason I can get one side of it or. something the sauce is like the sauce I. know but if it's like on its side I. could eat the side that's not on the. floor all right check it out slice of. pizza Falls face side up right so just. the crust hits you still gonna eat it. hell yeah oh that's interesting Pizza is. always good yeah because the crust is. hard yeah and it's and it's burnt I. would eat it you would how many hours. though thick six no. four.

an hour an hour max yeah what happens. after one hour. [Laughter]. finally gets there yeah yeah. okay what about what about like uh um. what about a liquid that spills no. no liquid at all if they had Cleopatra's. breast milk I might taste it that's. right and now it's preserved in a. sarcophagus imagine they open the. sarcophagus she's holding just a bottle. of breasts.

would you yeah yeah it's history yeah. would you um okay let me just ask you. another question then would you mean Abe. Lincoln's boogers you know they used to. collect his boogers who did Abe's wife. Mabe I'd have to try it maybe because. I've had I've had like modern day. boogers. but I've never had one when's the last. time you ate a booger for real. a day two days hours I'll be honest with. the Judy booger today. and the car if it has the red dryness to.

it I sometimes eat it blood yeah if. there's a little bit of blood on. anything. yikes yeah have you ever eaten a booger. yeah I've never eaten a booger never in. your life no but it's so not true that's. such a life my handy guy my hand to God. I've done much you don't believe in God. I don't give a [ __ ] I've done. embarrassing stuff even when you were a. kid never never because I saw the kids. that did eat boogers and they grossed me. out yeah me too I mean sometimes it. happens.

Cleopatra was [ __ ] puts on it stop. diverting you have one time tasted your. poop look me in the face I swear I gotta. have it say swear on everything I swear. on everything that you've never tasted. I've never eaten poop that's ridiculous. tasted not even on accident. there's no flavor. but there's no flavor I know your point. is I know you've tried right have you. tried your own spunk can I ask you about. that have you tried can we go back to. Cleopatra.

have you tried your own spunk what's a. spunk your own jizz yes everyone has no. I've never had never have never not one. time in your life never no one no. curiosity nope none yeah nope I see it I. smell it I know it you gotta do that. tonight though the booger and your jizz. you have to but taste them both you. gotta be careful you do it you feel like. it's cannibalism you're eating your kids. you're eating your own food keeps so. it's not good no you didn't like it can. I ask you something you're a scientist. God bless right you discover the tomb of.

Cleopatra here she is right mummified. right yeah as a scientist you go I want. to see what's on this inside right you. unravel hero right I know yeah. everything's petrified except for the. vag. it's perfectly intact that's how you. become the mummy it awakens. then Brendan Fraser has to come back and. kill her what do mummy sound like. Brendan Fraser as the whale yeah I've. always wanted to be a uh what Indiana.

Jones did what Anthropologist. archaeologist that's what I mean let him. have it let him have it the way he wants. you know an archaeologist I think you. should be an anthropologist no that'd be. cool be an archaeologist you would raid. things. no but I've always wanted to like go to. like a dirty field and with those little. brushes you imagine you have the. patience to do that you have to go to. school first. oh [ __ ] a ruin my [ __ ] dreams man no. but let me ask you a real question yeah. you know you'd have to see of course I.

go to school man that's not that you sit. out there for hours and hours and hours. you have the patience to do that yeah. hunched over in the dirt if there's if I. can find like an exotic coin yeah but. it's hours and most days you find. nothing I know but if I can find one but. let's say you don't. you spend your whole life do I get like. you know back like in Jurassic Park and. stuff they give you like the city funds. it they find like an um I think. philanthropic billionaire most bonds of. my [ __ ] research most of these I'll. just be out there in the middle of a. [ __ ] random field and just do that.

all day yeah I get paid by like some. non-profit you're not making a lot of. money you can't you're a foundation is. sponsoring you you're making a little. bit of money to survive yeah but that's. better than like working at Denny's says. who you're right the Grand Slam you. don't want to slap those on the tables. all day long no but if you could. discover like. you know what I want to discover what. baby find that little knife that's. stabbed Jesus in the god. knife he got nailed he got nailed to a. cross no but there was a didn't somebody. stab him on the side I knew they read. different stories in Korean churches. they did they did they did right yes.

I didn't kill him if you could discover. that knife wow and then you have Jesus's. blood on the tip of the knife would you. lick it no it'll lick it no I'll clone. it yeah like Jurassic Park like Jurassic. Park Jesus Parks we have a bunch of. Jesus's Jesus part yeah yeah. I would make hundreds of them yeah it's. not a knife it's not Lambs what the holy.

lands yeah that's clear Jesus. it's called The Holy lands yeah and. they've cloned him and they found it. Lance I think it's still missing the. Lance I think you're saying holy lands. it is a holy land yeah but so the holy. lands did they ever find that thing the. Spear of Destiny is also called yeah. Spirit Destiny they never find it it's. still missing it's still missing dude. let's find it sounds suspect today was. still missing. didn't happen really he was never.

shanked. I Think Jesus made everything bigger. than it was like walk on water he. skipped across a pond judah's probably. just bumped into it yeah oh did you see. what Judas just did he stopped me it was. just in the farmer's market she's just. relax wait who's the X-Men that just. split the ocean Wolverine oh wait sorry. I got my story this is the guy from the. Biblical times yeah there's an X-Men. that split the oceans oh yeah Moses. Moses part of the sea that's a guy's. dope he's not an X-Men was he who else. could split the ocean apart like that.

Moses X-Men. you know he's like uh that's interesting. Moses was Jewish right or Aquaman wasn't. he Jewish Moses yeah and he split the. scene he goes oh too high the water was. so high all right can I ask you another. scene about the Bible yeah I've been. thinking about this yeah you know how. Jesus turned water into wine why did he. do that because let me ask you something. he's God right so he could [ __ ] turn. water into any beverage even beverages. that weren't even invented like a pina.

colada. imagine if he turned a water into pina. colada and they're like what is this but. I think one of them's so much easier to. communicate what do you mean well wine. he's like you know grapes wine and. everyone's like okay better be sorry to. be like pina colada you know yeah the. flavor of coconut that you get like. that's so cool like this is from the. future it would be funny you have to. like name brands in the Bible yeah it's. like that's a sugar-free Red Bull. they're like whoa I'm not I'm not that. tired what sugar don't worry it's free. of it.

I mean you could do any beverage yeah he. should have turned it. I don't know I you know that's a reason. about it dude and why did Jesus if he. was so powerful exactly how come he. didn't just heal everybody right only. lepers what about him yeah he let those. go yeah imagine if like there was like. Jesus please I'm I'm dying right will. you help me yeah like a Freddie Mercury. guy you know what I mean thick mustache. yeah are you imagine yeah that's what.

Jesus looks like no I'm just saying if. you could cure him they do say Jesus was. a frequent at bath houses so but don't. he could only heal the people that. believed in him and his dad. yeah you had to believe in both what if. you just believe him more I don't think. you can no that's like a package three. of them are Holy Ghost Jesus and God. they're the same yeah all three of them. you gotta believe in you know the Holy. Ghost is Jesus when he's dead whoa dead. Jesus is Holy Ghost wait I didn't get. that far yet that's not the end in the.

book yeah. that's pretty good a pretty good book he. dies. sorry. Morgan and Morgan hey Andrew if you were. in a car accident who would you call. Morgan and Morgan of course of course. right. um a lot of people you know you once you. want injury attorneys to be trustworthy. yeah right and this is the a this is. A-list stuff here well here's the best. part about Morgan and Morgan so many. people don't know where to turn or what. to do or where to go uh when they get. into an accident because they're like do.

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people.com bad friends or pound law. pound 529 from your cell there's a paid. advertisement hellofresh you guys when I. go home I see a hellofresh box outside. my door I get excited because I become. little by hobby Chef I love making. things and hello freshest stuff when you. make it it's so like um Gourmet and it's. so good and it's so fresh. hello fresh with hellofresh you get farm. fresh pre-portioned ingredients and. seasonal recipes delivered right to your. doorstep skip trips to the grocery store.

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history of humanity more than water was. consumed at one point because water was. deadly and poisonous yeah but because. through fermentation people would often. drink like it wasn't on it was it was. not unusual for people of a certain era. to drink spirits in the morning for. breakfast yeah because that because. water was poisoned yeah water was filthy. I mean it was polluted whoa so they. would just you know you would make. alcohol and it's easier to drink safer.

to drink you know who would be the worst. follower of Jesus who Bert Kreischer. you'd have [ __ ] gallons of water come. on Jesus every time Jesus would make. something he finishes he's like water. come on Bert yeah yeah yeah don't you. think water do water in the Cheetos. there you go. Jesus secret time secret time secret. time yeah. I don't know much about the Bible I was. not raised with a religion so I don't. know much about it I don't know much. either I just know whatever bullet. points you know yeah it doesn't show.

that's the what did you just say it. doesn't show this guy you know he's a. Catholic yeah like who's the guy the. Jonah not Joan Noah's Ark I was just. thinking no no no no I like that Jonas. Brothers. Jonas on the rainbow no there was one. guy right the Book of Job yeah job is. that his name yeah job is it job or Joe. Joe okay but spelled the same yeah yeah. remember the Transatlantic accent that. came from. it's not job it's job oh yeah so job let. me talk about Joe right tell me all.

about him I don't know much about this. one because I'm just through memory God. took a lot away from him is that that. guy. job yeah God took from him killed his. wife killed his wife and kids right kids. yeah and all that right and then and job. was like yes yes but he was like so. dedicated to God that at the end God. goes here's more women yeah he gave him. all the chicks God told me to do it see. oh yeah I'm sorry sweetheart this is. God's will but which would you be like.

yeah that's nice but what happened to. Cynthia. my son Billy yeah replaceable there are. replaceable yeah I'll be mad they're in. heaven now they're happy imagine if you. get to heaven and God speaks with the. Transatlantic accent hey we've been. waiting for you yeah are you a Duke him. up I remember you hi God anyway. um welcome to the paralegates what are. some other Bible stories well you know. about you know talking about well what. what about like uh um well Noah's Ark.

wouldn't fly now because he's got two of. every animal but he would have to get. um trans animals too can I say that. here's another thought that I had though.

right. let me ask you something so Noah brings. all these animals right a pair. but then no two Chinese guys a Chinese. couple no it's just white people then. what do you mean I mean think about that. it was just him on a boat with animals I. know white guy and some of his family. but [ __ ] the black people and the. Chinese and the Mexicans. they weren't if they had to start over. there wasn't Chinese and Mexicans there. there was no Chinese and Mexicans in the. Bible back in then there dude you're.

you're talking about this is in the. [ __ ] Middle East. it's in the [ __ ] Middle East so if. why would the Chinese be in the Middle. East that's my oh really so there are. certain [ __ ] animals that or pan does. you think pandas are in the Middle East. but they had two of those no they didn't. they took two of all else that's not in. the song they did say two of every. animal yeah they said two of my realm we. know it's a lie sloth from Papua New. Guinea but do you think about that no. because it's all [ __ ] [ __ ] no.

it's real dude no not the Bible the guy. had a [ __ ] boat with animals is. [ __ ] insane and where the [ __ ] the. unicorns go. exactly yeah it was [ __ ] I mean they. didn't make it on that's why we don't. have them today oh they didn't make it. but everybody else made it on yeah no. more crickets made it out. crickets made it on yeah yeah centaurs. minotaurs and burmes they didn't make it. off why didn't they make it up well. mermaids can swim yeah but they could. they didn't want to take a break they. didn't want to hang on. exactly I guess let me tell you yeah.

there's no [ __ ] way that guy had. every animal that's impossible there he. is again that's a woman. yeah you're right so what. but here's what's up dude my point is is. this okay. alligators and long neckies two Humpty. back camels and some chimpanzees some uh. Baltimore's Galore but you don't. understand no dinosaur that's the Noah's.

Ark do you know that song I know it in. Spanish. what is in Spanish. it's the same Rhythm yeah yeah it's the. same song. two alligators and long neckies some. Humpty back camels and some chimpanzees. some cats and rats and elephants and. sure is there more yeah no dinosaur so. [ __ ] like that yeah because they were. pretending like he [ __ ] forgot the. dinosaurs yeah it's not it's not real.

scam you're right scam I just thought of. all that big bang Baby Big Bang guy over. here right your big bang 100. Bing Bang Boom I'm a dinosaur guy. yeah Big Bang Yeah man yeah we believe. that they took them out I'm a dinosaur. are you dinosaur guy Jesus created the. dinosaurs. take a walk yeah can I tell you. something what I don't believe in any of. it yeah you do believe in dinosaurs. though 100. some people do believe that people.

buried the bones to disprove. Christianity Satan like Satan that's. that's a theory right went all around. the world and [ __ ] planted dinosaur. bones to confuse everyone can you. imagine if Satan Satan was getting. frustrated when people were he's like. not don't bury it there. all right. just go there that's not gonna. go into hell he's so demanding we're. trying our best I know same as a dick is. you dick I'm trying my best Satan I'm.

sorry yeah does Satan have a son yeah. yes Jesus is a baby son he's right here. no no. isn't Damien Satan son yes Damian Damien. Damien omen. you never saw that do omen's the best. movie Damien is the son of Satan yeah. the gaming is if you don't want to watch. it tonight omen's so far scary I think. almost so scary it is scarier than her. you wouldn't find it scarier now I. recently saw it like six months ago like. really oh man yeah I went are they still.

scary the first two pretty scary. yeah I feel like now with technology. when I see older scary movies yeah like. but here's the scary part in in the omen. movies they will go back to like some. sort of ancient. archeology site and they dig through. this tomb and they see a painting of. Damien in there no yeah pretty scary. [ __ ] man yeah but okay but think about. it like this whenever we sell like. hieroglyphics and paintings and stuff. like that from a long time ago so many.

times yeah why are they doing this they. didn't know how to draw arms yet oh. really they couldn't put them down yeah. they just always met him up yeah uh uh. what it makes me laugh is like you think. about how intoxicated were some of these. people when they were doing this what do. you mean when they were making some of. these like crazy drawings like you go. back like natives like a lot of native. stuff like that they're they're on. [ __ ] they're on peyote or mushrooms. or. ayahuascas and yeah you see so a lot of.

these Visions was it because of the. intoxicants yeah because I've seen some. of my notes during that's what I'm. saying when I trip and I'm like this. could go on a wall somewhere yeah but it. don't make no sense also they're similar. in many caves there wasn't like a. Basquiat heroin guy that did his own. thing there had been but there's. probably and there's like some caveman. was like no no that's not good not good. yeah yeah and he's like whoa whoa well. yeah the poppy seed guy. pop see it the poppy seed guy got the. heroin back then must have smelled so.

good I think it's probably better today. yeah but if you could figure that out. back then if you're the first guy to do. it yeah you see what what a poppy seed. yeah a poppy seed field how did they. figure that out they look at it how do. they turn it into heroin well there's. probably one guy that smoked everything. like an oak tree is like my throat hurts. yeah it's something I try they tried. everything and he got [ __ ] lit up on. that [ __ ] a poppy seed and then imagine. the first guy that was like. we should put it in my blood.

like put it right inside of my brother. like Nathaniel that's not gonna I don't. want to smoke it I don't want to eat it. throw it in my [ __ ] blood wow I'm. sure someone tried to stab themselves in. the heart with it one time wow for sure. oh my God the first heroine the first. heroine dude or imagine the first time. they got the first guy that sniffed. cocaine because I bet they would eat it. or taste it touch it because he oh yeah. who made it into powder farm that guy. must have been [ __ ] genius yeah we're. like yeah that's the gym you imagine you. know how like you know when you first. start masturbating when you're a kid and.

you're not really talking to your. friends yet about it you know like. everyone's kind of Keeping a Secret no. no I'm saying and then you slowly start. to speak to each other about it right. but when you first do it it's kind of. like you don't talk so imagine imagine. the first couple of guys that were doing. cocaine and then they all get together. and one guy's like so how's it been he's. like dude it's been amazing my nose is a. little bit and then one guy's been. sticking it in his ass and he's like. wait you guys are in your nose yeah. just Coke in my ass you guys are in your.

nose right yeah it goes to your brain. yeah but your [ __ ] yeah I guess I'll. try the nose you know when you and your. friend start jerking off. and you start to kind of clue each other. into [ __ ] when you're like you don't. start you never talked about it with. your friends. here's the thing about masturbating as a. kid. may I say something. I never thought it was embarrassing but. all the kids would like I remember. saying to my friend [ __ ] Craig yeah I. masturbate it feels and he's like why do. you do that I don't Mouse right I get.

real girls I go yeah but it feels good. yeah I never felt like why why why do. you guys notice that when kids didn't. admit it guy kids well there was always. a couple of guys in my group that were. like no I don't really do that and it's. like really yeah yeah it feels like I. can't stop yeah I know. at one point I was like three four times. a day yeah when you're 15 and you're. just like. you guys don't ever have that feeling do. you like do young girls need like is. there wherever were there ever a day. when you're flicking the bean like two.

three times a day yeah no I think like I. think what I did a lot of women do is. like you're masturbating before you know. it's masturbating because you're rubbing. up against stuff yeah like fruit or. vegetables in there or no no oh they're. rubbing stuff like pillows you'd rub. them yeah yeah I would stick if I was a. hot dog I don't know a cucumber I don't. give a [ __ ] but that's why God made you. a guy. you would eat it afterwards too they. feel he feels you out and he's like this. guy's gonna shove too much [ __ ] in his. [ __ ] yeah make him a guy I've had like. lamp fixtures in there like all.

everything I would try everything where. was the where where did you often jerk. off was it always in your room at night. or was it bathtub bathtub me too you're. still today I love it love in the shower. you know what I do yeah I get on my. knees hey when fossa comes out yeah I. sit like you get on your knees and. masturbate to God I'm like this right. and the fox is going down and with the. water coming down have you tried that I. have the water pour on your penis I like. it strong water ow ow no no no no no. lukewarm and then sometimes I do free.

hand where's the water here I do. freehand and the water hits are you sure. you don't have a vagina that sells. and then sometimes I can come that way. where is the water hitting right the. head on my foot yeah my my [ __ ] dick. man don't make it sound like I'm weird. you don't even [ __ ] Rushing Water of. a spout they hit you on the penis what. do you think is gonna [ __ ] hit man. that doesn't feel good. you're trying it man you're [ __ ] the. water so you're funny. yeah man that's nuts my nuts sometimes.

do I do not some no you've never tried. that no no you guys have never done that. oh you [ __ ] a water spout. I've never taken you to a water for you. yeah right [ __ ] the the [ __ ]. jacuzzi have you done that. stick it on the [ __ ] jacuzzi so. strong those current and I just do this. like this doesn't water get in the tip. yeah man no no thank you that also both.

of those sound like things women do yeah. exactly. you put your little [ __ ] up against them. see when I share things man sometimes. man I want some support do you use a I. support I'm not vulnerable man no but. you can't you can't you can't watch. support and then also asked if if that's. what we do we don't do that but I. support you for doing it but it's. [ __ ] strange share things about. myself man. I get [ __ ] ridiculed man that's not. true you're fine. that's all though I support I thought it.

was great what you just told us yeah do. you use a vibrator. I'm serious. what do you mean by that do you use a. vibrator I I've used things that Vibe. right yeah all right. now we can move on. it's [ __ ] strange man how much of you. like the East Coast now. you know I'll be honest with you. um it's blowing my mind it's beautiful. over here yeah because I I didn't know. much about it you thought Jersey was.

people last night he said I never played. Jersey I thought it was just guys like. the Jersey Shore the only thing new. about Jersey is through Sopranos and. Jersey Shore so I'm like this is not my. audience well that exists yeah but my. point is is that so I every gig that I. would get offered in Jersey I would say. I'm not playing there because you. thought Tony silly or any of those East. Coast places. Maine I've never been to Maine have you. no but Maine is not we're not going to. Maine they have people there right I.

like a 30. okay there's like 40 people. Bob Marley created a [ __ ] career up. there Bob Marley's the king of up there. yeah yeah Bob Marley people that don't. know we're talking about the stand-up. comedian yeah but you know you know this. tour has been great because you know. I've been exploring. um places that I thought you know you. think things are one way but they're not. yeah like the South we love the South. yeah they accepted me how much fun did. we have in Nashville I loved it so fun. so fun it was a fun night and so you. know this whole thing Raleigh you love. you loved Raleigh you loved Raleigh so.

you know I've been having a really good. experience man you know and um it's kind. of built my self-esteem up a little bit. are you about to say thank you to me. yeah. go on. I want to thank you man. because I'm a big fan of yours no. without me we wouldn't be doing this. because you didn't want to tour some of. those cities and I said you should. you'll love it I was gonna go even back. but further go back. I'm a big fan of yours thanks man when. you asked me to this podcast.

and I was like winning a lottery. thank you man. is that the face you make when you rub. your [ __ ] on the faucet. stop you know what you could be sweet. and be honest but you can't get. vulnerable no because you're making a. face you do that same face you do Steve. does the exact same face my brother yeah. same one yeah because we don't feel. anything I know you need to learn to. feel. feelings important I feel nothing right. now. nothing well I feel hungry yeah.

right yeah my stomach's grumbling. yeah. what is it beef jerky beef jerky. that's his nickname on campus yeah. here comes beef jerky this Camp is no. offense to Quinnipiac whatsoever we. appreciate you having us this looks like. a place. it looks boring. it looks beautiful but it looks boring I. don't know what you would do it out out. here in the woods you study this is a.

university oh [ __ ] you fancy shut up. [ __ ] up man loser loser your study this. is. he says that because he's you know by. the way he's gigging a check from them. you know he probably got paid for us to. come here and do this right you know. they've got they've got their symbol up. you know what you you're a [ __ ] liar. I don't like it okay I know how many. times I [ __ ] tell you I don't like it.

okay because the thing is we do stand up. right so we have to do you know there's. a certain. Rhythm yeah and a way to do a language. that is for live I don't want to do that. for podcasting It's So Different yeah. because it's like a lot of this will cut. out you know I want to be able to just. kind of say things without waiting for a. laugh that's why I don't like doing it. with an audience. we thank fancy for putting this together. very good thank you thank you and thank.

you for Quinnipiac and thank you for. being a bad friend. [Music]. well you know we're gonna give it a go. oh. what I'm gonna say whatever I want to. say. there it is dude I'm gonna talk about. what are we talking about trans yeah. yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I feel about it. yeah.

yeah you can't stop religion in words. it's got sort of a Hogwarts Vibe too. kind of like that that's pretty cool do. you guys go to school here yeah you like. it. how's your Quidditch team are you guys. good yeah what's your records. what's Ravenclaw raise your hand if. you're Ravenclaw let's go down and. listen pictures in what house.

he's got kicked out of all of them. I know about that the ones. it's incredible right. yeah. go do it go fart on them if you need to. he'll take no my [ __ ] is so rancid today. oh my God. right now count by me please. how about you man.

what do you watch man you don't like. fantasies. a lot of fantasies what fantasies like. what fantasy movies do you watch. each other like. yes space sci-fi you know I mean. it's like nothing nothing and you're. full of [ __ ] too much but I can't. remember anyway let's go duck hunter we. were doing like sci-fi or the degree. well just anything. what are we doing here.

welcome to the another episode of bad. friends I'm your Hostess I'm your host. Bobby Lee we have another guy here. Andrew Santino we're like Wham. why would you say interview like that. I'm sorry I'm your host you're not the. host we're both yeah I'm one of your. hosts can I start over start again hello. only here. you know welcome to another episode of. bad friends that's the name yeah um I'm.

Bobby I'm one of the people on the show. okay Andrew Santino he is also one. another person on the show we got this. little one right here which is great and. uh let's talk about uh the future of and. the state of our country what do we. think what are we talking about how's it. going I don't think trickle-down. economics works you know what I mean I. think that um. I think the rich hoard the money and it. doesn't trickle down what do you guys. think. and I always think that right.

you are the rich Mommy. so you know you are the one percent yeah. particularly to these kids you know it's. funny whenever I eat eggs tell them to. give everyone a hundred dollars I'll. give everybody a hundred dollars but. whatever I eat eggs. um hard-boiled eggs uh for days my farts. smell so rancid do you think maybe it's. time to stop eating hard-boiled eggs but. it's so good for my body yeah it doesn't. seem like it is I think I think. logically it seems like eggs are good.

for you but I don't think they're good. for you personally yeah or maybe things. are bad for some people but how have my. farts been are they intense oh yeah yeah. right windows in the car rolled. themselves down on the way here we. didn't even touch them yeah. and then um a beautiful drive-through. beautiful beautiful Connecticut's a. great place it's so good it's very. pretty raise your hand if you're from. Connecticut. what part of Connecticut are you from. Stanford beautiful we went for yeah. Stanford's not too far away why didn't.

you go to that college. no no that's different from a Ford Sam. Ford yes Cam Ford universe is in. Northern California Stanford oh I don't. know this is stamp is there a college. there. okay. no. Yukon oh Yukon University of Connecticut. it's a good one right we'll be right. back. I don't know anything about it about. Connecticut football team does. Quinnipiac have one yeah I don't know do.

you guys have football no no what teams. do you know. he just won the hockey championship you. don't get to throw that out there like. that you they might because I I don't. even hear them even no it doesn't matter. it doesn't matter it doesn't matter this. is going to go in the trash. it's never going to work what what. hockey championship what class are you. guys this is a Divi you won the division. one. National Championship NCAA National. Championship you beat out Minnesota you.

beat out Michigan. you beat out all those guys. you did the place yeah all right the. place who did you guys beat in the. national championship. UB Minnesota you beat Michigan you beat. all these guys for the national. championship this is a D1 school. it's nuts right I can't believe it I. actually don't believe it I don't want. to believe it either I don't but I do. like it.

wait wait stop whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. whoa whoa. very popular I don't know if you ever. heard of the White House did you go have. you been to the White House. why have you gone to the White House. lady. oh you didn't go in it you got near it. well you didn't go to the White House. you went near the White House. like what like. amazing no that's why she said she was. Slytherin. you could tell she's she's up to no good.

so you want to work in the bowels of. Hell of the United States yes you. believe in our government I I'm. you are yes yeah but that's what Trump. said I know so there's not a lot of. Truth in it do you ever see the show. Westway. one of the best shows ever okay the. first four seasons are Master.

communities what would your end game be. in politics like. like the the dream dream job would be. like White House Press Secretary like. the new gents hockey whoa you want to be. a press secretary you'd want to handle. probing questions or do you have a clean. background a clean record where are you. from Massachusetts what part of. Massachusetts. yeah outside of Worcester what does Mom. and Dad do. um. what does she do. it.

it's a good question because if your dad. ever was cooking you know they'll find. that if you go to be a press secretary. yeah I don't know if you know her or dad. was a [ __ ] they'll light you up that guy. will let you out you could be an ankle. model. I don't know like socks and stuff what. yeah. I don't know so you're one of the White. House Press Secretary. good luck good luck I hope you get. everything that you've ever wanted. [Music].