Tito Debate Election 2020 | Ep 38 | Bad Friends

you two are bad friends who are these. two idiots a white dude and an Asian. dude you two are. disgusting you two or something we're. bad. friends Bobby was late it's an. update you're late every day it pisses. me off and that's why I'm always mad. you're so late late to the show I'm not. always late you're late every we film.

you're late every time we film B without. fa single time yeah bro yes you're too. early that's your problem so he being on. time too early no no no what you do is. you come here like 20 minutes before so. it seems like longer what you do is you. come 20 minutes before to set up the. show to make sure that everything is in. order so then when we shoot that but. it's all about perception and time it's. all about it's all about uh right Jules. no don't don't don't don't don't what do. you mean it's all about per and time.

it's how you perceive it and how you. live your time swing in the and that. one's way outside Bobby no I live in the. moment yeah and the moment is the time. we're supposed to shoot live in that. moment and be on it right but we're here. now in the moment shooting late but. other people have we have stuff to do. you know what do you have to do I have. to go to a thing this evening what thing. a another co party I'm watching a. another coover party I'm watching a. Premiere tonight are you in it m what is. it Davey plus two no that's FX the.

season is about to start and it's FXX. thank you very much let's not make fun. of my show I'm not making fun of your. show I'm just saying what kind [ __ ]. Premier you the way you say it the way. you say Davey you're on Magnum PI is. Magnum PI the cool show to be on I'm. gous you are Galos yeah good to see you. boop no no no no no because what you. because what you don't understand go. ahead is that I woke up right in a fury.

why when I called you no because I we. have Construction in the house because. of the floor yeah so there's Buzz saws. going dogs barking you know crazy I. can't find my keys and then all of a. sudden like I'm spilling drinks because. I'm looking for and things are splashing. all over the [ __ ] place and you know. there's tension check it out check it. out just let me finish yeah there's. tension right I run down right I you.

know what I I go baby get me Starbucks. she orders me Starbucks right M I run. down and I'm like maybe I'll just maybe. going in front of juwels downstairs. right cuz she's in school right it'll. make me feel better so I go in there and. she just gives me [ __ ] judge eyes you. know what I mean like judge EO eyes. she's just like everything I'm like I'm. OJ guilty yeah guilty right and so then. I'm playing war zone and then like I. can't get no kills I'm just like.

I'm just dying out there man and then. all of a sudden like you know then the. Starbucks is late and we're supposed to. go here and I go should I get my coffee. and have my little sandwich or should I. come to Mel Nish to this podcast I come. nourish check it out yeah check it. out we called I talk to you at. 2 2:30 okay you had an hour and a half. mhm to put food in your body okay but.

and to get here on time I didn't tell. but you wanted tell the story right I. didn't tell the story right so. everything was just a lie what you just. said no no there's one little thing that. I forgot forgot to mention is it an. important detail really huge and why'd. you leave it out because I just want to. get through the [ __ ] story oh so the. important things you should take out. yeah okay so what's the one thing that. you didn't right so that Starbucks. wasn't the first. option when I came down there right. right to your room time out how long did. you play war zone for.

we were waiting for let me just finish. my point okay so when I came down there. what what did I say was coming first. initially sandwich no burrito oh burrito. did I say burrito yeah okay thank you so. I go we ordered burritos from kofax yeah. love breakfast Brios great right yeah. great so then I started playing war zone. and I'm I'm texting Kila you can see the. text where is it we have to go right and. then she goes it's coming we're waiting. and and then all of a sudden she says.

they [ __ ] canel the. order because it was a breakfast burrito. and you ordered it at 2 p.m. I don't. know but that could be it I don't know. what it is and you might have a point. but that's. irrelevant it's irrelevant right what. whatever the reasons why they canceled. it they canceled it sure right so I'm. like now it's like we're supposed to be. here four now it's like. 345 and I'm like I can't podcast without. coffee and I need to get some Nutri in. my body because I'm a human being and.

that's what I [ __ ] drive on could. have some food at the house could no. because could have some food around the. house the construction is. what um they're blocking the fridge yes. so so I can't go up there because and it. has nothing to do with their race or. anything Hispanics up there oh boy. that's what it is you don't like to be. around Mexicans no that's what I love. them you get nervous I love them sing. I'm [ __ ] I'm the one with the [ __ ]. spices man they you go upstairs the.

spices and you're like no I don't so I. can't go up there and it's like um so. we're late all right but there's a. reason why all that other [ __ ] you just. talked about was that not it yeah those. are the reasons those are the reasons. yeah yeah so I think that in a court of. law that I would win mm oh yeah oh yeah. no way oh yeah yeah yeah there's no way. in the court of law I would win all. right well I got you a gift anyway for. what. because I got you two gifts because.

we're concerned about your sleep. patterns and I hear you Brea the fans. have noted that you're breathing so they. can hear how you breathe in the mic yeah. and they're concerned a lot of people. hear fluttering within your lungs people. are getting concerned we've had a lot of. fans WR in medical fans have said I work. in the medical field Bobby sounds a. little sketchy when he breathes so. breathe through your nose into the mic. go. ahead they're. worried so we got you two things I'm. getting you help by the way I'm getting. you a sleep apnea coach we're going to. as going to be on next week okay but.

I've got you two things that I'd like. you to try on now this is an anti-. snoring chin strap the white. one let's see if that. works see if it see if it maybe helps a. little bit with your breathing. technique these chin straps are are from. uh from Amazon they were the cheapest. one I could find so I don't know if. they're and they're made in Wuhan China. I don't know where that is or if that's. a good spot to come from but that's what. these are made you play the wide part I.

already know how to use these before you. used it yeah then put the other part. behind your head to unstrap the. Bop are you. snoring no this is perfect working these. are great well there's a black one too. but we also got you one more thing as a. gift this is from the crew here at bad. friends this is a twoin one anti-. snoring and an air purifier this is. actually very dope this came highly. recommended you put this in your schnaz. you won't snore it'll help you not have. sleep apnea stuff and on top of it.

you're bre you're filtering out all the. stuff that's in the air here in Los. Angeles we have crappy air you know so. throw that in your schnaz and let's see. what that does we have really bad air. have you ever seen the dust outside when. you look at the furniture isn't it. disgusting yeah it's gross this would. mean this would mean this would mean. this would mean that I would have is. that Dusty back home this would mean I. would have the Philippines yeah is it. Dusty in the Philippines it's bad I. would I would have every hole in my Bo. in my face covered if I have this. correct cuz I covered my eyes my ears.

and now my nose I think oh I have one. more I have one more hole my. mouth well yeah but we're going to put s. dick dicks in your mouth yeah night yeah. we're going to put a sleep apnea machine. in your mouth you could could put the. dick in your butt what is this you can. still put the dick in your butt go ahead. put it up your schnaz and see how it. works now breathe into the mic let's. hear it hello no no breathe with your. nose how much smoother does that sound.

dude this is going to change your life. no but why I I I don't I don't first of. all I don't hear a difference there's a. huge difference I I I'm fine with my. nasal pass way but you don't know what's. really going on boob of course I do I'm. the one that's living in it you barely. know what's going on with your body I. know exactly what's going on with my. body you do it's a good machine it's a. bad machine it's a broken machine it's. an old xerox machine we need to fix it. yeah but it's not I'm not going to die. oh don't know am I going to die is that. what they're people are [ __ ] EMA. mailing us that I'm going to die people.

are saying they're concerned about your. sleep your sleep habits because it's. really dangerous how people die so much. younger when they when they have sleep. apnea when they can't get good sleep. when they when they stay up too late and. their body isn't on a good time schedule. this is how people die. young okay I'll keep it in then it. sounds good it does honestly it sounds. like you're getting full full filtered. air in. there you feel. that it's smooth right I I literally am. dizzy because you're getting so much.

oxygen no no no I'm like I'm about to. faint don't faint. [Music]. okay should I keep it in I think you. should take it out no I'm going to keep. it in keep it in I'll keep it in look. it's going to help you tremendously okay. and who are the who okay who are these. doctors people from the internet yeah. internet doctors internet doctors so. what are they saying on the they're. saying that they're they they're saying. that when they're listening to the. [ __ ] podcast they can hear me breathe. yeah they can hear you breathe through. your Shaz and it sounds it sounds like. you're not getting enough oxygen you.

don't know your body what's your what. kind of body fat percentage do you have. do you think 4.5 over the Redux of my. body fat really yeah I'm going to get a. body fat at measuring machine and I. guarantee you're like 20 or 30 you're. like you're almost 30% body fat pie over. [ __ ] grams put your arm out to the. side put your arm straight out right. here man all right jiggle. it like this do it like that look at. that [ __ ] you there's nothing here. there's no muscle that's like a there's. no muscle but there's no fat yeah there. is look on the underside look at all. that fat wiggling down there it's no. that's not SK I come from a big skin.

family you guys have a lot of skin we. have longer skin and we have more skin. genetically from my family okay yeah but. there's no fat no fat there's fat in my. stomach but anywhere else doesn't it. doesn't exist okay well I hope this. works at least this I think is a good. start I'll try tonight though I think. you should honestly so this what is this. going to do it's going to open up your. nasal passages right it's going to get. more air flow that's why you feel like. fainting cuz you're actually probably. getting a lot of oxygen in your blood.

I'm a little high right now it's cool. that's cool yeah you do get a little. Stone from Air yeah yeah have you ever. had an oxygen machine have you ever had. like a have you ever been in the. mountains before Oh I'm a mountain man. no you're not oh [ __ ] yeah where'd you. go Big Bear Mammoth okay okay okay um. Mammoth is good Mammoth is up there m. mount solidad mount solidad yeah most. mount solidad when did you go to m. solidad there's one in La Hoya oh that's. not no there's one in Mexico that I'm. think that you're not you didn't mon. solad is like a hill yeah it's Mountain.

but it's called Mount solad I promise. you that yes that's true right yeah. there's there's a high school called. Mount Carmel it's not on a mountain I. know but it's still uphill sure it's up. a hill yeah it's up and you're elevated. okay yes it's a mountain it's not a. mountain but I'm just saying they call. it Mount solidad I'm just giving you. facts yeah but that's not a mountain I. need to know mountains if you okay Fiji. and Fuji Fiji Water Fuji water yeah yeah. I know I drank Mount Fiji Water on Mount. Fuji did you really yeah that's kind of. fun that's really good you just it's. gonna get more oxygen in your blood it's.

gonna help you sleep better and it's. filtering the air so then if Kila if. kalila lets one rip at night or one of. the dogs you won't be able to smell it. yeah or you or you if you can't if you. don't want to smell your body this. really has me really concerned though. man this is kind of freaking me out same. to us that's why we're doing this no but. do I really need to go to a doctor and. get a [ __ ] we're getting a guy on on. I have to do a test that's what my. doctor said he's going to he's going to. analyze everything up front and and find. out how if you really need to come in. and get a machine. yeah but I think he's going to find out.

that yeah you're drinking 87 ounces of. coffee you're still smoking you're. drinking Red Bull your diet consists of. pizza boogers and you. know yeah Korean. barbecue yeah I mean what was last time. you had just a. salad for real Monday maybe but was a. salad with fixing on. it it was a pizza salad pizza salad yeah. okay that makes sense well it's a pizza. right with the sauce but they put salad. on.

top they really do I know it's really. good yeah yeah Pizza salad's fine yeah. yeah and then we I love um is um. carbonara a salad carbonara is not a. salad no it's delicious though sure can. we admit that yeah it also it fills you. up sure does it gives you energy no I. don't know if it gives you energy yeah. there's I like Carbono a lot you don't. know if that's a salad and um pen with. carbonara I'm sure that's not a salad p. is a pasta yeah yeah but it is um it's.

really good yes I also like. um what fruits do I like I like um. blueberries okay bananas bananas are. good for you yeah I like peanut butter. with my banana though same you do I put. peanut butter on my waffles too I had. blueberry waffles this so what I'll do. is I'll chop up maybe five bananas mhm. and then I'll stick like three um. spoonfuls of peanut butter okay and then.

I'll drench it with. honey yeah and then I'll make two. gigantic pieces of toast and I'll take. all that and chunk it you know what I. mean mhm and is that a salad yes okay. that's a salad yeah yeah byad probably. by by proxy by proxy yeah it's near it's. near Enough by salad yeah take that out. of your nose will you do it tonight for. real will you really try it tonight and. sleep with that in the chin strap will. you lick this mhm no no be honest you. know what let me ask you this all right.

that's an old Korean custom right it. really is I trust I trust nothing the. Koreans have done I understand that but. you know what it would mean a lot to me. and it would make me laugh you want me. to make me laugh yeah you want to make. me laugh mhm you would make me cackle. laughing if I could make George lick. that no if you licked the tip of tips of. these right now like stick this in your. mouth yeah right now I just got over a. Corona virus you want me to get a new. virus you you I I twice SARS okay so um.

but I'm you know I mean I'm on. antibiotics right it would make me laugh. are you on antibiotics right now why are. you on antibiotics I always take them. it's like a vitamin for me that's so. they're so bad for you oh [ __ ] I'll stop. they deplete your immune system oh [ __ ]. Bobby don't take antibiotics kiding I. don't take it could you lick this no. you're not yeah lick this I could see. you just throwing down a li the tips and. the fans will love it it's entertainment. the fans will love me licking your snot. uh device yeah yeah why don't you one of. these guys do it yeah get in here George.

you [ __ ] you look it George George he he. he literally goes he just lefted nobody. sounds like you George it's you he just. left you know what Andrew um you're a. coward thanks okay okay I'll lick that. if on camera you lick my open. butthole on camera I will on camera yeah. yeah Moon there and you lick my open. tush and I'll lick that okay really for. laugh yeah I do anything for the fans I.

know it's disgusting you know that right. I would do anything for the fans I think. it's hilarious right I'd have to put a. mask on no no no no no no I will I'll. stick my tongue out but I have to wear. the mask out no it's got to be tongue. it's got to be tongue to. Tush can I do something that's like. equivalent to this though I just feel. like you took it to a Next Level comedy. Elevate always no but it's a it's a. contract right yeah and my deal is. better than yours no no no the contract. is this it should be equal equal no cont.

never equal why don't you do this right. why don't you stick a [ __ ] tissue in. your nose right swir it all around I'll. eat the tissue you lick the tip of this. so you guys are afraid to go out to eat. at restaurants yeah but you want me to. lick your nose cont that's right let's. be real okay let's be real George trying. to get away from that George we should. have made George do it what do we make. him let's have him do it or he's fired. do it or you're fired. George George get in here I'm I'm not. being real now George George lick the. tip of or you're fired you're.

fired is that what you want you want to. be out on the street also I'll tell you. this George you're gonna get a lot of. fans lot of fans and you'll be punk rock. do you want to be punk rock or not think. steveo how cool is he think sto correct. thanks steo all right all right Bob um. he fired you're fired yeah what's up. okay so two weeks ago people know we put. up an ad about Riso Riso Soma audio. victims of George's laugh because. George's laugh is quite frankly a lot of. fans have complained well I've been it's. like I'm immune to it it's like when you.

watch like you know a scary movie and. night like I've been watching um The. Haunted House of BL house what is that. called BL Hill House. BL man she just like BL Bean BL Manor BL. man whatever BL Manor yeah and you know. and there's a woman that just constantly. she has to cover the [ __ ] you know um. mirrors because she sees a ghost all the. time right but she's used to it. I'm used to George's laugh but if I.

heard it for the first time I would. probably need trauma therapy right yeah. it's like so like you know heavy. invasive does it do anything to you I. like his laugh you do oh my God she's. crazy she's a crazy human being she's. like an insane a little insane person we. have in the studio yeah yeah well we had. put up that commercial I like his lap I. like a la we put up that commercial for. the victims to call the hotline it's a. real number some people used it um we've. got some uh some concerned these are. real fans who are actually very.

concerned with what George's laugh has. done to them I'm going to play you guys. a couple of Clips. okay um here we go let's hear this. one George has caused my family to leave. me his annoying laughter has ruined my. life in every conceivable way it haunts. my dreams caused me to lose sleep at. night I lost my job my wife left me and. took our daughter and moved back home. with her family [ __ ] you George yeah. more please more these are real these.

are from real people man I can't get it. out of my [ __ ] head every time I try. to go to sleep at night I just hear that. stupid son of a bitch's laughter it's. driving me insane man I punched my wife. in the throat the other day because she. laughed just almost identical to him but. then again maybe I'm just hearing it I. don't know she was asleep so I doubt it. great man I gotta make stop. though hello hello uh and calling a.

bobie oh I could. hear I'm not going to hear no. [Laughter]. more please. help Rudy is that somebody that you know. that sounds like somebody you might know. yeah no I don't know you don't know who. that is no that's your mother that was. your mom that called honey yep George's.

annoying laughter I was listening to the. podcast one day while driving and that. they just popped up out of nowhere wait. mom I'll change the your diaper now it. just popped up out of nowhere and it. honestly scared me I almost swer right. into a 14 wheer next to me he almost. killed me I should sue you're gonna get. sued George you're gonna get sued that. that message though was very good yeah. because in between he did a bit he did a. bit he's changing his mother's diaper. yeah yeah that was it was really nice. but when he says changing his mother's. diaper but he's yelling across room that. must mean they're reusing diapers he.

must be cleaning it out right he's. another room for sure right yeah. right it was dist. disturbing um I mean I got the joke but. he would just Howl in the back. and [ __ ] me up man like I don't know. like where the [ __ ] is George. man George people are really Disturbed. honestly George this is bad George's. laughter has completely destroyed my.

life I can't go to sleep at night I can. hardly wake up in the morning every time. I hear. laughter I'm always worried that George. might be somewhere near me and it's the. scariest thing ever I truly think I'm. suffering from emotional distress I need. your help I need your legal. representation so here's the deal we. have a law firm that people called and. you know you and I are both we both have. we passed the bar here in Southern. California oh yeah yeah I oh I passed. the bar in three states you have three I. only one yeah one in Nevada one here and.

one in uh Delaware why Delaware it's the. smallest state it's the easiest bar to. get over easy to get slow to the ground. is it and not only that it's just easier. to get one there yeah they just want to. hand it to you yeah yeah you're a lawyer. there in Delaware yeah we got one more. call from someone who's very. concerned oh my God is this. real I'm not gonna lie I love George's. laughter hearing it in the background. you guys give pink dick too much [ __ ]. yes you don't know [ __ ] you idiot. [ __ ] meand Bob what kind of underwear.

do you have on right now mandes it's the. only underwear I wear because it's uh. it's so comfortable I like the patterns. and designs and it's like I don't think. that I'll ever wear a different kind of. underwear I think meundies is the. underwear for life for me you know. whenever some people are like do they. even use any of those ads we both wear. meundies it's the only underwear that's. in my drawer because I threw away the. other ones CU other underwear have seams. on them they get uncomfortable they rip. they tear and they streak easily Bob and. these don't I also like to perform with. me undies they're just so comfortable.

you moving around moving around and I. just you know if I I don't ever do this. but if I do take my pants off on stage I. also want to be fashionable up there. that's right that's right me feels like. you're sitting on a heaven Cloud all. right because it's so comfortable and. smooth and soft and nice think of how. much better you'd be feeling if your. aies were covered in pandas or sushi. rolls huh Bob what do you think about. that don't you think you feel I have. ones with raccoons on it I really like. raccoons we got to get you don't have. the sushi ones the sushi ones are my. favorite I eat them oh you ate your own. okay don't eat the meundies put them on.

your body they have classic colors right. they have all the classic but they also. go ridiculous prints I've got pizza. parlor on mine I've got little pieces of. pizza and cheese uh and your tush and. your genitalia deserve the comfort that. meundies has we have an amazing offer. for our listeners firsttime purchasers. if you're out there get 15% off in free. shipping they also have the problem free. philosophy if you're not satisfied with. any product for any reason they'll. refund or exchange it no caveats no. questions say I don't like the underwear. they'll give it back but you won't cuz. they're amazing get 15% off your first. order and free shipping go to meet. undies.com friends that's meundies.com.

friends that's right better help oh my. God Andrew this is the F my favorite. thing in the whole world because during. the pandemic my friend yeah it's been. tough it's been tough and I've literally. used this um better help and um I do. therapy every week because of it and. it's like uh you can it's so easy man. it's like you can start communicating. with somebody in under 20 48 hours and. it's not not even a Cris crisis line or. self-help it's like professional. counseling like done online but it's.

been so helpful no it really has I use. therapy Bob and I both talked about it. we're pretty open about our troubles and. look this is a great way it's much. cheaper the than than the other way. which can be very very expensive this is. done from your own home there's you know. clients worldwide these are real legit. therapists that can help you get. professional counseling done uh and. they're committed to facilitating. therapeutic matches for you online but. what's surprising about better help. which is it's really affordable and it's. then more than like traditional um. offline counseling and financial aid is.

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we have our offer for our bad friends. listeners use it you want to talk to. someone do it special offer for bad. friends listeners get 10% off your first. month at betterhelp.com bad friends I'm. tired of um people thinking that we're. being mean to people please they know. we're having fun yeah we're having fun. and um you know I have to be honest with. you George is not a good guy tell me. more well George and these are things.

and I I you know when I first met George. yeah we had a meeting and um he says you. know these are things that um please. don't you know tell. people about my life about my history. and you did it right away no I've never. said it and I'm saying it here for the. first time oh okay yeah yeah uh he likes. well when he was a kid right he fondled. um. squirrels you know he really would. fondle squirrels really yeah yeah he.

would well he was he's from the forest I. I understand right he from the woods he. raised in the wild right so he would. capture you know I mean but these aren't. just um adult squirrels these were kids. squirrels oh no yeah yeah yeah they. didn't have no they didn't have that. brown patch of hair down there and their. Squirrel Nuts haven't dropped yet yeah. they they're little drop no Squirrel. Nuts right and he used to lick his you. know finger like that right and like rub. even the penises rub it like this right. and and squir right and and he would rub.

it hard right and one time two two. squirrel babies right he rubbed it so. much it started a little fire oh no. flames yeah he lit squirrels on fire by. rubbing their genitals yeah he rubbed so. like this so hard circular right so. that's number one and so that's you know. not illegal you still wanted to work. with the guy huh yeah he's very good. with numbers he is and he's very. proactive yes right so and the second. thing he did was um. he didn't there was an old lady yeah in.

the forest that lived right and she had. 52 bags you of Safeway bags full of. groceries one one for each week she like. to hoard she likes no she likes to hoard. right and get all her shopping done in. in for the year right I'm saying she has. one bag for a week exactly right yeah so. she's like George will you please help. me and he goes [ __ ] you [ __ ] or. something like that George yeah [ __ ]. right and so she was carry Mac. Truck she died she got hit by a Mac.

Truck and then George's laugh at across. the street George did you laugh when old. lady 1 years old 17 years old ew dude. yeah um what are other Secrets here's. another secret um he was taking a [ __ ]. right in the forest right and he didn't. have any toilet paper so he wiped his. ass with the Bible whoa yeah Corinthians. dude Corinthians Corinthians new test. yeah new test old test yeah yeah yeah. yeah right you've heard you've heard. things correct I've heard so much bad.

stuff about George in fact in fact here. here's what happened when we talked. about doing this show yeah we met uh we. met at uh a restaurant on Ventura yeah. uh in the neighborhood and I said to him. uh hey I'm going to be running uh a. little bit late because I have to go. right next door and grab something from. CBS he says I'll I'll just get us a. table you know yeah that's how he sounds. and he and he got us a table right and I. walk in on time actually so he thinks. I'm going to be two minutes late I'm. actually on time because it worked out.

better I see the way he's talking to the. waitress I'm not kidding I'm not making. this up she's a little plump she's a. little a little thick she's probably 5. to you know 33 rot she's rotund right. she she look like violet board when she. blows up in Willy Wonka anyway George. looks her in the face I'm not joking he. goes I said club soda fat ass and she. starts crying and he goes yeah keep. crying maybe you'll lose some weight. maybe I swear to God he goes maybe.

you're carrying around water weight and. so then I I I enter and I said George. what was that all about and he stumbled. Mr oh I left some to get my car he got. in his car he left so that's how he. treats people when we're not looking can. I tell you another he does please just. cuz you take a letter out of a like. racial you know I mean slur doesn't make. it right of course not like we were. driving right wee back you can't say we. back said we back that's what he said. yeah yeah. see he laughing he loves it yeah yeah.

when I met when I met um when I met. George outside of your old place for the. first time when I first did Tiger belly. yeah uh you were like oh George will. come down and open up the gate and. George comes downstairs and I'm not. kidding he's got his penis out George. had his penis out and he's pushing in. the code for the gate with his penis I. bet yeah yeah yeah and and he's and he's. going like this to me smiling waving his. hands as I know I know I know I thought. for a second okay comedy world he gets.

comedy this isn't this okay but then. this is insane I look across the street. what's across the street from your old. place an elementary school wow and he. wasn't waving at me he's waving at the. kids showing him the code well you know. I went we went to a pottery class uhhuh. George and I went to a pottery class. right and there's children old ladies. you know I mean a couple of black. people d as well right all kinds of. people everybody likes Pottery right.

right and you're painting and he did the. same you know there's two a brush you. know because we we molded oh you did it. on the wheel we molded on the wheel. right we did it like the movie Ghost. right so he went right behind me right. and we're just doing it right and then. all of a sudden I'm like um is your dick. in my [ __ ] was it yes e his dick was. in my [ __ ] no approval by the way no. approval right and then after the. [ __ ] Pottery dry put in the oven and. whatnot right he painted it with his. dick oh my God right so it was just like.

these like little dots from his the hole. like a little you know from a slip yeah. from the slip yeah I got to tell you I. don't approve rude do you like George at. all now that you now that you know the. secrets that we're not supposed to tell. yeah how do you feel yeah he's scary see. he is very scary very scary and he's not. a man that you want around you correct. and I'm going to tell you right now. Jules when he calls you o. right Jules and you're like what does. that mean I'm afraid to tell you what it.

is but he always goes hey you o right. and I'm like yeah well he thinks it's. cute he goes hi ukie he think it's he. thinks it's like a fun term of. endearment it's like U I was afraid to. tell you what it meant and so I'm just. letting you know add whatever letter you. want in front of O I bet you could. figure it out yeah you could fill her. figure out it's not a vowel how about. that. yeah well anyway so George is a bad guy. but he's really good with numbers and. he's uh very um hardworking he's a. politician yeah he's very good uh. speaking of which it's.

um it's election time and uh and I'll. tell you what I'm looking forward to. right now Kanye Kanye 2020 yeah yep we. want him to win president of course you. did yeah um here's the deal yeah we we. have a thing that we're about I'm. filling you in as we go we're going to. do best since we can't have a president. of the podcast right people say why. don't you guys do a presidential race of. the podcast I said no one can be the. president of the podcast because there's.

three parties right you can't and there. has to be two only two parties so I. think she's kind of like the green party. she's the green right yeah okay and what. are you democrat and what am I. Republican you bet your ass yeah no but. the truth is we have to run against each. other and I think the we've decided to. make you and I are going to are going to. run Andreas has compiled some questions. for us okay and so does it debate uhhuh. oh [ __ ] because of the I didn't prepare.

it doesn't neither did I but we're. running for we you you have debate. people that you practice with we're. running for best Tito okay best Tito and. and she's going to choose who's best. Tito do you. understand all right good evening from. the bad friend studio in Los Angeles. California I'm fancy B your moderator. and I'm welcoming to the first and only. B friend best American Tito debate of.

2020 between Tito Bobby and Tito Andrew. the commission of very important debates. have decided the format four sections of. approximately four minutes each with one. minute of interrupted opening statements. from each candidate for the record the. candidates have not agreed to respect. any rules I have decided to topics and. the questions and I can assure you none. of the questions have been shared with. any of the candidates. as a precussion the candidates have.

agreed not to shake hands at the. beginning of the. debate George has promised not to laugh. no noise except for now when we welcome. Tito Bobby and Tito Andrew yeah thank. you thank you very much thank you so. much thank you thank you good to be here. thank you so gentlemen a lot of people. have been waiting for this moment so. let's. start our first topic is house roles. Tito Bobby you have said you leave dirty. plates everywhere you have a drawer full. of ANS and you leave boogers in your.

guest bedroom Tito Andrew you have. called your opponent disgusting and. accuse him of unsanitary practices you. prefer to have plastified unused. furniture and spotless. rooms why are you right in your opponent. run we start with you Tito Bobby um I am. right because um as we. know life is hard for some of us yes for. most no for you for for sure well for us. that struggle right and know what.

humanity is about and know what hardship. is you're you know I mean he's been. taking money from the Chinese for years. he's been taking money from the Chinese. excuse me excuse me explain the email. excuse me explain the email excuse me. there's a little email that we have on. file that says that says you're taking. unite and group together there is no. sides there's no red or blue R andell. we're just Americans we're Americans are. you where were you born I was born in. San Diego California show I my I don't.

need a passport cuz I have a birth. certificate show me that much show me. your birth certificate hoax fake news. how am I fake news okay you're the one. who keeps who keeps unkempt records of. yourself you're L you were late to this. debate you were how what kind of person. wants a Tito who's late to the debate. let me ask the question at hand why. don't we leave the questions up to the. moderator let me finish my point sir go. ahead go ahead well you shut up man life. is hard let me honestly can I finish. without him interrupting 30 seconds how.

is that even 30 seconds when he [ __ ]. interrupted me here we go all right so. let me just finish all right sir thank. you life is hard okay and I know that. when Jules leaves our house right she is. going to be confronted with all kinds of. elements right and I want to be able to. toughen her skin right I want her to. succeed and I want her to know what um. tough love is etc etc so what what I do. is I put things around the house. purposely bodily fluids yeah he puts. bodily fluid around the home I'm going. to tell you this right now you want a. Tito who does stuff like that yeah can I.

say something right now when she goes. out in the world right yeah and some. homeless person spits in her face she'll. know what to do she'll have the immune. system to fight it off homeless people. by the way in my under my under my. regime as Tito right everyone's homeless. everyone's homeless I know everyone's. hom right so I am preparing her for a a. hard life a difficult life right and she. one day will be grateful for my [ __ ]. tutelage okay can I have the floor. please cuz see this guy well Andrew you. have been going over the limit great so.

I think we have a lot of questions we. have to mov thank and you know what this. is this is CNN propaganda that's what. this is this is MSNBC and I know and I. know and let me tell you something why. don't you show why don't you talk what. they muted my. mic that's really good they should mute. M why don't you talk about your son why. don't you talk about your son who was on. heroin my son Al Fredo right yeah he was. on. heroin traff business was never on.

heroin he owned a pizza parlor and the. clintons were running kids out of the. Parlor what's the excuse there we made. pizzas my my son made pizzas and I said. he had a human trafficking business you. made he did not Sho heroin he did not. shoot heroin next question okay our next. look is dedicated to holidays thank you. my expertise by the. way thank you well you're welcome you. have handle Halloween uh by turning the. lights of your house and hiding from.

kids Tito Andrew on the other hand have. been given 50 bags of candy 50 so uh the. question that nephews and nieces Across. America want to know how are you going. to deal with. Christmas well here's here's we start. with Tito Andrew thank you well I as a. Christian God-fearing adult male who. loves baby Jesus uh both black baby. Jesus and white baby Jesus uh I handle. Christmas with care with Precision with.

expertise and with love I decorate my. home uh I give away gifts to the. homeless increments of of of a thousand. I give away $10 $100 bills to people at. random on the street I'm very giving I'm. very loving and uh I I believe that. during the holidays we need to be. praising the good Lord preaching the. good word and uh making sure that we. instill these beliefs into the youth for. the rest of time uh and and I am someone.

I'm a Tito who gives gifts as people. know of this show have I given you gifts. yeah I have have I given you gifts I'm. not done have I given you gifts no you. have not I just gave you two. today this is not a gift sure and and. this is how he feel this is not a gift. and this is how a privileged person. feels this is insulting this is how a. privileged person feels about everything. they don't want anything you give to. them it isn't enough cuz it didn't cost. enough he didn't like his cake him for. his birthday cuz it was from Von right. you you it's like if I give you an.

eyebrow trimmer that is not a gift that. is something to help you I would love it. if you gave me one and may I have the. may may I have the floor I'm not D may. may I have the floor rebuttal Tito. Andrew I mean shut up Tito Bobby is your. time it is true I will Deport you this. guy is getting deported after this it is. true that I do not give children candy. on Halloween yeah that is a fact but. what you do not realize is that I give. the kids candy every other day after.

that prove it I do I go around ask I go. around right after Halloween I'll go up. to any random child give them candy they. go why give because I will give you. candy not Halloween but every single. other day and they go thank you there's. no proof of this this is a lie it is not. a ever seen I I do do it all right and. here's the thing right you've given. [ __ ] Juliana gifts yes giv her the. gift of life you didn't give you're not. her father I know but I give her food.

nutrients and shelter and blankies as we. know do you not have a blankie do you. have a blankie I have right do you have. do you have a temperic bed yes thank. you as we know uh Tito Bobby only gives. gifts to Rudy jws to hold them over her. head when he wants something in return. He has tried to blackmail her as you've. seen on the show on the show he. blackmailed her with Starbucks he told. what can she do for me what what can she.

do for me enr Enlighten she is the youth. that's the future I have not learned. anything except for certain anime shows. from her what the sharpest knives are. yep right that's pretty much it she's. given you more than you could ever give. to anybody because you're a selfish. person and she is not next question um. selfish. question mic's got cut good next. question Okay so. B I have a question or a statement I.

want to make to you I've always wanted. to learn a different language and the. one language I want to learn and I'm. doing it through Babel is Portuguese. because I want to be able to talk to. Cristiano Ronaldo oh what do you think. you'd say to him if you did El Guapo or. something like that you're handsome and. you know sexual something sexual. something sexual um I've you know so. Babel is different than other um you. know language learning programs yeah it. very much so is they are they use a. method designed to get you speaking a. new language within weeks which which is. insane because most other ones take. months and months real talk like slang.

and how normal people talk in that. particular language yes if you ever. worked in uh in a restaurant industry. and you're a young white dork like me. and you had Mexican men making fun of. you Babel would have helped me a lot. because I would have learned what what. all those slangs were yeah Babel does. help you teach you Street language and. also proper uh proper language uh words. and phrases to get you back running up. with whomever you're speaking with but. it gets really complex as well you I. mean you can like speak you know. to a politician as well by using Babel.

it's not just Street [ __ ] no you no you. start you start with words and phrases. and then sentences gradually as they get. more complex uh then you can do. conversations it's they they get you. doing a daily 10 to 15 minute lesson so. that's super quick and easy uh over 10. million people have tried this so why. wouldn't you be another one these are. real language experts that have created. this program and algorithms so it's. pretty Flawless yep we Bob and I have uh. committed that he's going to learn P. Portuguese and I really want to learn. French just because I want I want to. have this accent I just I really like I.

really like french bread and I figure. that adds up for me uh right now Babel. is offering our listeners three three. months for free with a purchase of a. three month subscription so three months. you get three months for free with the. promo bad friends that's babble.com and. use the promo code bad friend on three. month subscription that's Babel spell it. Bob B Babble is b a BB L BB l.com use. the promo code bad friends that's B A DF. r i n NS there you go Babble language. for Life keeps guess what Andrew I'm.

losing my hair and I'm really going to. do this thing keeps yeah I've already. I've already used it I I've been losing. my hair since I was uh six I think six. or seven it started to fall out you were. telling me about it and I was like you. know I I want to start doing it too. because it's really working for you look. it's a bummer for dudes cuz our hair. falls out of our head chicks don't. really have to worry about that as much. as the dudes do uh we get in our 20s and. 30s we start noticing hair loss almost. every dude on Earth unless you're you. know Brad Pit um and uh two out of three. guys are going to experience a form of. male pattern baldness and you used to. have to go to the doctor's office to get.

something like this done no more those. days are those days are gone you can do. it online dude and it gets delivered to. your house they make it so easy uh they. deliver medication every 3 months you. can say goodbye to go into the pharmacy. and people are embarrassed about this. you shouldn't be most dudes have some. kind of hair thinning okay unless you're. Rob low and you know what I don't even. trust robow who knows what he uses so. the FDA approved hair loss products out. there and you may have tried them before. but probably never for this price not at. all man keeps treatments typically take. four to six months to see your results.

find out why they have uh more five star. reviews than any of the competitors. 100,000 men have trusted keeps these. plans start at 10 bucks a month all. right so that's worth it all right. that's definitely worth keeping your. hair we're all losing it me for sure my. thin red hair I like to keep it uh and. it's worth your time you must try it out. if you're ready to take action prevent. your hair loss go to keeps.com badri to. receive your first month of treatment. for free that's keeps k ps.com bad. friends on the topic of being a good.

uncle on your on your last episode Tito. Bobby you have described Rudy as an. ungrateful Mongol Feit Oak Tito Andrew. you have mocked Rudy's accent constantly. so why would any of you be a good uncle. for America Tito. Bobby like I said Okay the reason why I. put the boogers on her wall and I insult. her right is because I'm trying to. strengthen her because she does she is. not from this country right she is not. she is from the islands of the.

Philippines it's taking money from China. and people from the Philippines just. know that that's his agenda she is in a. new land right and I am just trying to. um help her grow she's grown a human. being she's an adult grown human being. survive in this crazy world she knows. how right she doesn't need and she. doesn't need your disgustin and let me. tell you something and when you call her. o I never said that when you call her a. Fed o fake news you're a white person. fake fake for you to do that for you to. do that not blood related fake I'm blood.

related no you're not yes no you're not. yes she is no you're not she's my. sister's [ __ ] daughter no I have a. sister named honey it's my daughter. that's not your sister she is you're not. Filipino I am Philipino no you're Korean. 25% Filipino you're 112% Korean and the. extra 12 we can tell we all know where. that 12% you you are obvously white sir. for you to call a young Filipino lady a. island pan is o no I never said that you. were the one that says Mongol feet you.

were the one that says racial epithets I. simply have you ever seen her climb a. tree no she can and. quickly the IE only tease her accent. because it's sweet and loving I've never. insulted her I've never called her names. like you have you call her um degenerate. brat you've called her the seword off. air I've seen it yeah yeah Catherine c. yeah I've called her Catherine but. Catherine in Filipino means something. else pal beautiful no it means the c. word it means [ __ ] yes yes he does this.

and this is okay okay we we yes thank. you guys thank you let's try to keep it. civil we're. trying okay we have our next topic is. quality time oh Tito Bobby my expertise. you have complained about waking up to. go to see a satellite lunching or to go. fishing MH you decided to stay in the. pool while your family went hiking in. the Philippines and to stay in your. hotel dur yourent recent trip to Joshua. 3 why would you say um to those who call.

you lazy and that you want to spend time. it's really about um point of view and. perception mhm and um let me ask you. something all right when you hike when. one hikes anywhere in the world right. you you don't want to it doesn't want. you don't want it to take a week you. wanted to take a couple of hours right. if I went on the hike it would take. weeks for you to get through the hike. because I'm so slow like a sloth right.

so I'm being mindful about their time. right I want to go to the hikes I look. them in the eyes I go may I go but you. don't go and they say Tito Bobby she. says Tito Bobby right you know I have. school next week right I have a life to. live you I mean I want to be able to get. through this hike today right so you can. watch you know what I mean your movies. in the hotel room room right and you can. go to the buffet in the morning right.

the high class one right and have your. pastries right well I partake but thank. you so much for volunteering and this is. and this is what somebody says when they. don't have the best Tito someone like me. best Tito you've never taken anywhere. you've never taken her anywhere you know. why you know why you know why I've taken. her San Francisco Canada I can't take. her anywhere Canada New York Hawaii I. can't take her anywhere because because. you're because I'm a white male no and. if I'm seen around town with her in a. van they're going to think that's a.

kidnapped kid yeah why do you a white. van why do you have a white van why is. it white yes so everyone can see where. I'm going all right I'm a great Tito and. I would love to take Rudy out to lunch. or somewhere nice I would always be on. time I would take her for a hike and I. would get the hike done on time a good. Tito you've never done it sir because. you're all talk because it's illegal. because it's illegal because it's. illegal you keep her caged up at your. house I'm the one that have at proof do. you have a to do you live in a cage kind.

of kind of you live in a cage she lives. in a cage you heard it America you live. in a cage the Le CAG hon be honest you. live in a cage yep kind of uh all right. I love it next question okay but Tito. Andrew in on this topic of quality time. made me so [ __ ] mad just now it looks. mute him yeah Tito Andrew it looks like. you have some rage issues It's Not. Unusual to see your face go red I I mean. redder than usual your eyebrows like.

palpitate and and you yell a lot you. know like so why would anyone want to. spend some quality time with. you here's why the only time that I get. upset and I get more red than I am is. simply when somebody disrespects my time. Andor space Tito Bobby the worst Tito in. the room never respects my time or my. space doesn't care about what I've got. scheduled or what I've got going on and. that's the only reason that I have anger. issues which by the way I'm in therapy.

I've been in therapy for it for a long. time I'm working through it I'm I I have. multiple therapy therapists by the way. okay I am in therapy it's working I'm. struggling through it it's not easy but. I'll say this have I ever yelled at you. directly have I ever screamed at you I. have not I yell at someone that. disrespects me in my time and I am. therefore the best heard Andrew uh Tito. Andrew scream though yeah and do at whom. at whom Tito Bobby that's right do you. get affected by it it's scary sometimes. thank you so much it's called residual.

no it's residual fear it's scary because. it's scary because you think I might. actually hurt Tito Bobby but he deserves. it it's funny it's funny my friend it's. funny my friend oh don't talk to me like. that I'm not your friend I've had so. many people call me and go how do you. work with that guy oh is that what they. say right you know what they say to me. so how do you work with that guy how do. you work with a man full of Rage. unreliable and anger and hostility dirty. and I say I can see through that thick.

[ __ ] disgusting crust and. see a kind of a human and yours is so. thick I can't see through it that's who. you really are and you always result to. meanness ladies and gentlemen I am of. course the best Tito I am the best Tito. because I'm the one that have the actual. experience and the facts he's never. lived in our house he's never been a. Tito I'm the one I'm the one that's you. done it two I'm the one that's Tak her. to San Francisco I'm the one that takes. cabonara sauce oh San Francisco city in. the United States remember that Melrose.

Melrose that restaurant that you really. liked I got you cabonara that night cut. his. mic okay final question the most. important of all you live in a cage huh. interesting a lot can be learned I got. [ __ ] cut out from how others judge. you so can you please take your phones. out and open your Uber app please tell. America what your rating. is okay okay what's your what's your. what's go ahead Tito Bob what's your. rating on Uber on.

Uber what is it. 488 488. yeah my Uber. rating. is. 489 I swear it's 48 fine well that's. fine and there there you have it there I.

have it okay now we have Rudy here to. decide who is the best Tito put your. phone. down oh sorry hold sorry I don't want to. interrupt this is real interesting I. think both of you just kept. screaming at each. other there weren't a lot of points.

taken you have to choose one but I. think you have to choose one no I can't. you have to choose. one how are those sandals that you're. wearing the new ones they're comfortable. right you have to choose one or that. knife that remember that cool knife I. got you you have or that frame Dart. behind you you have to choose one this. is hard it doesn't matter you have to. choose one right. now the choice is clear. here do you want to sleep in your bed.

tonight be honest just answer there's no. consequences okay I think Tito Andrew is. really nice and I'm very um grateful to. I know where this is going but I think. Tito Bobby. wins take off the shoes take off the. shoes best Tito well as you see there is. no I'm not far off cuz I'm the best.

other. Tito I got a little hostile Che cheers. my friend cheers to the best Tito May. the best position I would love one okay. but you know what I want to do. Transportation uh how about how about. removal of people yeah yeah yeah removal. of people is fine yeah yeah yeah we got. to get rid of some people yeah that's. true that is true that is true hey I. appreciate the honesty you did a great. job.

I'll tell you why it's mine's a 48 I. know why mine is the first time I ever. did Uber I didn't know how it worked. right and I didn't tip the person. through my app they don't but that's not. why they rated you low yeah really yeah. I got rated low low all of the first one. like a zero or something and I'm like. what I gave a friend you know how you I. called an Uber for a friend yeah and he. threw up in their car okay and Uber char. charges you a puke fee right yeah so the. next day he by the way who a friend it's.

it's a guy from back he doesn't tell me. I don't he doesn't tell me that he threw. up yeah I think he took the Uber home. and he was fine right I called him the. Uber because we were still staying. out well I get a charge on my $100 and. it says damage to vehicle so I contact. Uber I said damage to vehicle because I. had taken an Uber later and I was like. how I took one to the airport what did I. do to the car this is a lie that guy's a. liar yeah and he goes yeah well there's. throw up in the car and it's a cleanup. fee it's a mandatory fee that we charge. you automatically and I said I never.

threw up in the car finally it clicks I. call my buddy I'm like you throw up in. the car he's like yeah dude I'll venmo. you and I was like why wouldn't you tell. me and he was like I I just I figured is. that a game changer for you with that. friendship we're not friends anymore no. being real we're not friends anymore. because of that event yeah yeah you. threw up and you didn't tell me that's. so lame why would you just be like my. bad I forgiveness no not today it ruined. my rating I had such you got to be real. see I no be real I was in the 49 no you. you I swear to God in my life real story. you're literally not friends with we.

don't talk right don't throw up and not. tell me that's so [ __ ] up cuz what if. I that why that's not it's not money. it's just like that's not that's not. cool so then I got a bad rating I. contacted the driver personally through. Uber in the email and I was like hey man. that was my friend this isn't me so. please can you change my rating he's. like no you can't change the rating once. it's ch once I already gave you a star. it doesn't matter yeah it's so fun and. and then he wrote an email don't let. your friends use your Uber that's what. he said said I was being nice and I gave. someone a ride because they they were.

like oh I don't have Uber on my phone so. I gave him a u when a friend does. something right that's a little weird to. me like really weird like that no there. like I I it completely ruins the. friendship like I went out to eat with a. friend of mine and I said it's my tree. right yeah he said cool and then he ate. half a salad what yeah he ate half of a. salad and he tells the waiter he goes. don't charge me for that it was. terrible no yeah you ate it you pay yeah.

but I looked at him and I went dude. don't worry about it I'm paying for it. he's like no no no dude don't you can't. you can't you can't pay for that that's. and it made a stink of it and I just. thought to myself oh we're done yeah. that's a cheap guy I can't do it how. much was the salad 10 bu what could have. what it could have been yeah it was just. the act of it that's what I'm saying. like how cheap I don't like it have you. lost friends like that from a bunch from. others a lot of other stuff what else. I'm trying to become friends with this. guy again right because I feel guilty.

about it but he does one thing that. really bothers me what is it he because. we were kids we grew up together right. so he does this thing where he touches. me and run away what like a CH like a. child playing tag yeah and then I have. to touch him and I run away right well. you participate I know but it doesn't. matter it's like if I if I don't like if. he touches me right and he runs away and. I don't chase after him he will touch me. again. again until you chase him until I chase.

him so then eventually it'll get to a. point where I oh [ __ ] you know it's. always after dinner when does it end it. just goes back and forth and then in my. mind I got to win right so him and I. just running around in a [ __ ] Park. I'm in my 40s running around a parking. lot he's hiding behind a [ __ ]. dumpster he climbs the [ __ ] fence and. I tag his shoe then I run the other way. and he chases me it's a [ __ ]. nightmare this sounds like you're just. upset because you don't win no no it. it's it's like I don't want to do this. game anymore but you do cuz you. participate so stop it's because he.

touches me first so you do want to play. the game I don't want to play it I just. don't I need the last touch so don't. touch me at all so you do play the game. if he starts it he starts it every. [ __ ]. time he starts the game every [ __ ]. time but you don't you just don't you. just don't want to lose that's what it. is once he touches me the game is on. right but if he didn't touch me it's. it's shaking hands is one thing but. that's not how he goes he'll go and. he'll run he'll hit you a little bit. yeah that right like it's starting it's. we're starting now right and I want to.

go I'm on TV I don't do that anymore. yeah you do yeah but I still do how old. is he same age yeah I grew up together. two guys almost 50 to playing tag 50. playing tag you know can I tell you. something yeah something sweet about. that it's something gay about it too why. do you guys kiss at the. end is that how you know who wins no no. but do you understand how that would. bother one I guess but like I have. friends from that I grew up with that. you have that old game that you play. yeah yeah I still I I have a photo I can. show you that when we were in I ha hang. out with old friends and then they say.

something like you know remember Martin. qu you're like what and when you're 12. you know what I mean you know what I. mean like somebody threw a rock on your. shoulder you cried yeah but it's like an. experience yeah it's like yeah I. remember martiny who gives a [ __ ] and. they're like wasn't that crazy yeah it. was crazy it's like 30 years ago 30. years I don't give a [ __ ] I have a. friend that I always hit in the nuts we. have we always hit each other in the. nuts yeah don't you you hate it right I. do but but I choke him I always choke. him right really love it I get behind. him I I I like choke him from behind. like if he's at a if we're like walking.

to another bar or restaurant I'll always. sneak up behind him and I'll and I'll. put him in a choke do you like old that. old [ __ ] though or no it feels good when. I can choke him cuz you can't do that to. adult other adults now and that's only. with friends that you grow up with you. can't do that to new new friends and. I'll tell you another that kind of. bothered me I'm going to do it that. remember that band that kicked me out. yeah they're going back together Laxton. yeah Laxton Supreme is making a [ __ ]. comeback yeah why don't we make a band. and compete with no they invited to be. back can I go but I'm thinking are you. using my you know notoriety to no they.

would never maybe not huh I do it no of. course they using your notoriety you. bozo head I'll do it huh no are they. cool still yeah do you talk to any of. them yeah have you been keeping up with. all of them no. no but they text me why don't we form a. why don't you and I form a band what. kind of music though the bad friends. band Rudy can you play anything no she. can sing I've seen you sing will you. sing a little something for us. I can't I can't here here's here can I.

say something here's the deal you either. sing or you're off the show forever yeah. all right so um she was she had the. audition for some sort of school look at. her school school play all right so oh. rude what was the. play um something rotten right yeah oh. so the whole family it was like. Christmas or something the whole family. was in the house we're talking about why. you laughing about [ __ ]. 20 people right and somebody mentions. Jules you have that audition coming up.

she's like what no what and we're like. yeah do it yeah sing the song and then. we all kind of gather together on the. couch so mean I know and she walks in. front of. everybody she starts singing and then. halfway during it just her eyes bulge. out she just she's committing to the. song tears coming down her eyes shaking. [Music].

why are you crying Jules I don't know I. just cried wait were you emotionally. hurt or upset no I don't are you upset. now no oh what's the song what is it uh. Lumineers by no the band is The. Lumineers yeah yeah Lumineers and you. sing it now yeah you sing it now no yeah. you sing it now you what's the song. what's the name of the song before if. you sing it together yeah we will. together what's it called ail is the one.

that goes uh uh girl dead SE Dead Sea. okay well yeah you you have to sing the. okay we how about we'll play. the wait wait wait wait wait wait wait. you do first I do second she does third. verse you ready start from the top. ready I headed west I was a man on the. move you're next I thought you were you. reading the whole thing you reading the. whole fck thing right so it goes I had a. w i was the man move New York had lied.

to me I need sing it just sing oh I. needed someone needed someone I could is. that the same thing yes I don't gamble. but I do bet on us something yeah you're. perfect I headed west I was the man on. the. Move New York had lied to me I needed. the. truth oh I needed something someone I. could trust I don't gamble but if I did. I would better. was like the Dead Sea told me I was dead. like the Dead.

[Laughter]. Sea you'll never sink when you are with. me oh Lord yeah oh Lord like the Dead. Sea yeah. yeah okay I'm like the Dead Sea the. finest words you ever said to me me. honey can't you see I was born to be be.

your dead SE wow we're making a band. that hard is we're making a band it's. not hard that was so good you about to. cry again no but my throat is very. tight that's our band name my Thro my. throat is very tight yeah yeah Rudy. you're really good yeah you want to do. the whole thing or please please it was. so good yeah you told me you were good. at running away domestic life it never.

sued you sued you like. Sue I don't know the to you left with. just the clothes on your. back you look the N when you took the. map yes there are times we live for. somebody. else your father died and you decided I. think she's out I think she's out okay I. think she's out oh then you're out of. the band yeah cuz we're trying our best. here to make a band but here here's the.

thing rude um Jew uh Julie is is that. you know you Sayang it in front of the. house in front of you know 10 people you. just Sayang it in front of just now well. how many people are listening hundreds. of thousands hundreds of thousands of. people yeah yeah what's is now can you. do it in Christmas you think this. Christmas do you can which you did it. was so heartbreaking it was. oh when she oh I was going to say the. song was she had to be whisked away you. know how they do that come here sweetie.

and the girls whisk them away into her. room and I'm like smoking. giggling went yeah yeah like you what I. mean it should have been Steve Harvey at. the Apollo where they pull the cane you. know when she's he's like get your ass. off stage and they just pull her back so. we're forming a band that's it you guys. comment below on what you want the band. to be called cuz we're starting a band. The Bad friend's band you're not going. back to Laxton we're starting a new band. have you have you watched the comedy. Central documentary about The Comedy. Store Showtime documentary about The. Comedy Store what I have is it good yeah.

yeah it's pretty powerful they did some. great stuff I I I smoked smoke smoke I. spoke to Mike binder today about it who. created it literally what' he say I mean. you know it's just we kind of went into. the depths of like it was wild about how. Sam Kennison really died for young. people that don't know who Sam Kennon. was or or you do if you're a comedy fan. it's it's a it's a sham well look no no. no I shouldn't say young some people. don't know some people are are are older. and don't know who he was but Kennison. had died I heard two different version. of the story and I told Mike this today. I said you know I had heard two version.

of the story that Kennison had gotten. clean and was going to do the gig in. laughland. Nevada um and spoiler alert he dies he. got hit he they he tried to pass a a. truck in an 18wheeler and he got smoked. head on and he died and his wife lived. uh car laau was there okay so car leau. tells the story in the documentary which. I highly recommend and I'm not blowing. anything because it's known that. Kennison died with Carl but Carl's. perspective was interesting because that. he told kind of the opposite which was. no he was still getting [ __ ] up he was.

still using Coke heavily still drinking. still being. irresponsible um and car tells the. moment that Kennison died in his arms. yeah and I got to tell you it's on the. documentary and I highly suggest. watching it it's it's extremely powerful. because it's simple he's telling it you. can tell he's not hyperbolizing the. story there's no lies you can tell he's. saying it like literally what happened. he was looking away from him he said his. eyes looked like they were at the sky. and they kept saying you're going to be. okay buddy you're not you're you're not. going to die cuz he kept saying I don't.

want to die right now yeah and he said. what are you talking you're not going to. die and he goes I realized he wasn't. talking to me he was looking straight up. in the sky oh my God and he was talking. to somebody else oh my God and he. reiterated the way he says it and he. said when he snapped back into reality. he could hear cars and ambulances and. his wife crying and he said it took a. lot for me to forgive him but the thing. I never knew what Caro told me or told. us was yes he was still getting [ __ ]. up he wasn't sober he hadn't reached. that point which was a lie publicly.

people thought he was and also carbo's. daughter yeah that's the most. Shakespearean well can I finish it for. the. fans yeah but I just want can I just. throw in my yeah but let it's. Shakespearean let this let this go real. quick I Caro's daughter turned out not. to be his daughter it was Sam kenneson. his best friend was sleeping with his. wife on drugs she got pregnant had the. kid they never were able to talk about. it so imagine imagine your friend. imagine imagine I knock up. Kila I would know how the baby comes out.

all redheaded and freaky looking oh you. don't think you could have a redheaded. baby yeah it's going to have [ __ ]. bushy eyebrows and angry it's going to. cry like that imagine a redheaded. Filipino kid how bad would he get beat. up if I sawell red hair on that baby I. might go to prison why for killing the. baby I might throw it across the street. yeah but they're resilient they can. bounce redheaded babies can bounce you. think we haven't thrown out a Windows. would be it would be devastating I I'm. going to tell you this right now if I.

had a baby and it came out with a little. red head and I asked Kila is that Andrew. baby and she said yeah right you I would. literally probably May kill you why it. would be such it would be great for the. show all right the numbers are good the. numbers are. good no because Carl see Carl you know. when I came to The Comedy Store him and. I became instant friends yeah I've heard. he's a good dude yeah in fact um he used. to like him and his at the time he was. dating this a an ex- waitress from The.

Comedy Store yeah and they would invite. me to his house I was like kind of like. an open micer almost yeah like today. they would make food right and then when. I made some money I helped to get his. teeth fixed oh really yeah why cuz he. had messed up teeth one day he was. talking and it smell like [ __ ] and I. said. um so mean it just smelled like pure dog. [ __ ] like that's so mean Bob it didn't. smell good he had rotting teeth yeah and. I go oh man what the [ __ ] is that. [ __ ] did you eat [ __ ] for lunch yeah and.

he goes no man I just have hole this. hole and it hurts so bad and he goes I. you know I asked Roseanne for some money. and she wouldn't give me any for my. teeth she's like how much yeah how much. is it and he's like 2500 bucks or and he. paid me back but I gave him the money. that's amazing because I love him so. much that so nice do that one of my. Idols yeah in fact you know um Sabrina. one of Sam kennon's um his wife well. yeah right she one day this actually.

happened cuz she knows I was a big Sam. kenneson fan and she go she comes to me. and I was like I think I just got on. Matt TV or something and she goes she. gives me a plastic. bag and I open it up and it's just. gigantic. stinky shirt with a cut down here like. this open I go what is it she's like. this is. the Sam's favorite shirt that he used to. perform in I never watched it wow and I.

had it on today I found it today you. need to frame that I found it today. right and I tried it on looked in the. mirror it's so big on me right and I um. yeah but it's. ironic coincidental that you brought. that up yeah that you wore a Kennison. shirt today yeah Bobby I'm being genuine. when I say this I'll buy you a frame but. you must frame that I'm going to frame. it because that's the thing that'll just. get lost on accident you're right that's. like that's it's not like the rooster. those can go yeah yeah yeah you know.

what I mean like that's a thing that I. like George car gave me that he's dead. you get another one yeah no it's really. special and um but people should watch. the showtime documentary it's about The. Comedy Store if you care I know people. sometimes are like we've already heard. about it's like look this is beautiful. insight and it's Leno Letterman uh uh. Jim Carrey uh uh uh Burr but Paulie. yelled at me because appar apparently he. said that I said in the documentary that. the green wound smelled like his mom's. [ __ ] did it I don't know but I don't.

know remember did I say that on the. documentary I don't think I don't. remember that that's what he told me. that I said and he yelled at. me I don't remember that dude was I in. it you you are in it okay yeah they said. it said Resident noodle that's what the. tag said all right that's enough stop it. that's crazy JK thank you for being a. bad. friend. W yeah. [Music].

woo. [Music]. wo. woo. wo. wo. yeah. woo yeah a.