Tito Cheeto is Back! | Ep 160 ft. Ryan Sickler | Bad Friends

two are bad friends who are these two. idiots. [Music]. or something we're bad friends welcome. back from Australia who are you Andrew. Santino's back I haven't seen you so. long I've been sorry for so long I'm. Andrew James Santino that's your middle. name Andrew James Santino oh you know me. for 12 years a guy doesn't know my. [ __ ] middle name what's my middle. name.

no it's not yeah yeah it's Robert uh I. do know what it is it's um. oh Robert Robert Lee is it Robert no. udon udon right. and we have in the studio with us today. sickler sick dog one of my favorite. people uh who's in the studio Ryan. Sickler's here today clap right now. everybody. wait what is your middle name bro Scott. I love it white names.

my middle name is Young. no y-o-u-n-g like I'm young and old. young Robert Young. Robert Young Lee Dude after Robert E Lee. he is. Robert Redford man you're you're a. direct descendant of Robert no my dad. love Robert Redford and Stephen um Steve. McQueen and my brother Stephen Queen and. I'm Robert Redford. are you really yeah what color is Robert. Redford's hair your hair. yeah have you ever met Robert Redford no.

is he still alive still alive right yeah. I went to Sundance this is in the late. 90s you're gonna like this sunnets is. his that's his assistance right yeah and. I got my friend Tracy to see her. brother's film and we go out to one you. know it's not all in one location so we. go out to this one remote area to see. this film there's a few of them there. and Robert Redford's there right and. these people are asking him for his. autograph and he's just saying no I. don't I'm not going to give autographs. but I'll give you tickets to any show. you want to see and this guy comes up to. him he's like hey can I get your. autographs like again I'm not giving.

autographs but I'll give you tickets to. any show you want to see and he goes wow. you dropped your credit card and I got. it and on the back of that credit card. is your signature and I really want your. autograph he's like I'm Not Gonna Give. You My Autograph and just give you. tickets he's like I'm Gonna Keep your. credit card okay. you can't remember his credit card he. had to go cancel that no that's he. refused yeah I like that guy that's who. which how smart is that I like the guy. that kept the cards yeah I never thought.

like oh yeah you're I don't sign it back. if you sign the back your credit card I. don't never signed anything. is. I don't know where would you sign in the. front where the numbers are yeah you. shine right over the number I don't know. right on top with one of those Sharpies. yeah sharpie yeah that's what I'll do B. Lee dude I saw first of all welcome back. from Australia all right first of all. say it listen when you were gone you. [ __ ] hell down you missed me. I missed you I love you and you're my. friend. you look like you lost some weight I.

have not even eating I know you look. like you lost some weight yeah okay. thank you. to stop with the hand up at me what I'm. back smile at me spark it up okay don't. spark me so I [ __ ] did an all Korean. episode loved it I did it all Mexican I. loved it I did a bunch of [ __ ] you're no. longer allowed to do movies okay it's. enough I did Borderlands I was gone for. two months right yeah you did this one. you're right Ephron right no more movies. Efron and John Cena. and I just got offered another movie.

today no yeah just got offered another. one are you gonna say yeah well let me. tell you who's in it oh Brad Pitt. oh my [ __ ] god George Clooney. you ready for the last one. you ready Margot Robbie. and me wow those three and me you're the. valet in this movie. [Laughter]. can I have your keys first of all the. line is are the keys in the car no how. many lines is that is the car still. running I don't know the light right no.

there's not a movie. but the look in his eyes dude it's just. for that for the moment. no I want you to work dude I'm just. saying that like panicking like because. that movie's gonna be shot in New. Zealand and I have to do five more. without you I know I'm not doing that. I'm back baby I'm back and we're going. on tour and who hasn't promoted the tour. you.

I called you and I told you there's an. over under in comedy right now on how. many cities you all actually make 14. feelings. we're going to all them we're going to. all them and the first one is going to. be Vancouver that's this week and then. we go to Oklahoma City then we do St. Louis Kansas City I mean we're. everywhere we're Everywhere You Gotta Go. you gotta come see you gotta come we got. such a great show plan and we're on a. bus and I can't wait to be on the bus. with my boy but let me tell you about. some of my experiences in Australia real. quick because I had such a fun time and.

I want to fill you in did I eat kangaroo. with John Cena drink Guinness yeah you. better believe it. are you kangaroo part of the kangaroo is. that like deer it tastes exactly it's. gamey it's just like gaming no no but. honestly you never eat animals that hop. you never eat animals yeah that's a. Korean proverb that's why you don't eat. frogs and [ __ ] bunnies what about. rabbits what about rabbits we don't eat. rabbits dude they hop there's a Korean. song it's about the [ __ ] rabbit this. is real yes.

in fact in fact let me see this is it. [ __ ] truth right during the Korean. War the north the Communists they. wouldn't get shot if they hopped. [Laughter]. don't eat things that hot we don't eat.

things that hops so don't worry. rabbits. frogs cats cats cats kind of hot gay. people. gay people you can't eat them either you. can't eat them right yeah what else hops. um oh somebody with one leg yeah he's. hopping he's hopping for sure you know. he's hopping yeah I guess that's a good. Korean proverb it's a great one but yes. I did I did have kangaroo and it was. very very good I liked it a lot of. people don't like it but I I liked it do.

you quality you [ __ ] bastard first of. all dude let me inform you guy who's. uninformed I at first I thought should I. feel bad about eating this I looked it. up statistics three to one three to one. kangaroo to people in Australia they. can't wait to get rid of those [ __ ]. things they're you know when you're like. I can't wait to see one then you see 40. 000 you're like [ __ ] these things get. them out of here no really they're. everywhere you gotta be kidding me. they're everywhere dude so they're like. cats. where where cats all of what are you. talking about you know those islands. were like you see what world he lives in.

yeah no I saw a documentary whether. there's an island Cat Island yeah like. in Japan or whatever is there such thing. as Cat Island Carlos yeah it's an island. in uh Japanese island yeah yeah but. that's what the Japanese did that. because they like huge [ __ ] I don't know. man island of a kitty they love that. they made that that was everybody and. coffee shop. they charge people you know what I mean. they have one here in L.A no that's a. cat cafe they do have a cafe yeah yeah. have you paid I paid.

that's so dumb the coffee's great isn't. that good. no in in Australia they're all over the. place and and I went to go see a. Tasmanian devil and by the way I learned. why they call them Tasmanian devils. they're ugly as [ __ ] these [ __ ]. things they're so ugly yeah but when. these when the English people came down. there to pick out where they were going. to drop off their prisoners because it. was in Tasmania at Port Arthur which is. the biggest the first penal colony by.

the way the British how stupid are these. people they want to dump off their. criminals in a place that's supposed to. be like treacherous and around the world. Tasmanian one of the prettiest [ __ ]. places I've ever seen wow great weather. down there so the Brits are in shitty. rain gloomy weather and they're like I. don't teach them to [ __ ] princess and. they left them on a beautiful island it. was it's stunning it was so pretty but. when you drop off prisoners on an island. yeah what do you do to the prisoners now. what do the prisoners do party they. party though it was open-air prisons by.

the way so it was just like um Coachella. it was Coachella it was Coachella yeah. yeah basically Coachella you know what I. mean that's what it was but then do they. build houses and stuff I don't know yeah. they built a life down there yeah and. now it's a fully functioning Society. it's incredible no but they but the. Tasmanian devil is called that because. when the Brits came down there they when. they're young and they are I mean not. just when they're young when they're in. breeding when they're inbreeding they. make this noise it's unmistakable it's. so creepy you hear it it's like.

it's so weird whoa and they do this. heavily at night too when they're. breeding so the British came at night on. boats and they would go onto this. [ __ ] wooded Island and all they heard. was. echoing in the woods I'm so scared well. dude they thought it was ghosts and. witches and they were like it's ghosts. and evil spirits so that's why they were. like put the [ __ ] criminals with The. Ghost and the evil spirit there are. these little tiny [ __ ] animals. they're just a little tiny yeah although. they will [ __ ] you up they can bite so. you saw one yeah I saw a guy I saw a guy. um he fed one of the handlers like fed.

it you know like uh roadkill and he fed. it in front of everyone and he said the. jock is so strong it can break through. human bone okay I was gonna ask you. raccoon or Tasmanian but now I know. Tasmanian Devil uh honey badger honey. badger right that's what would be what. would win honey badger Tasmanian Devil. if a Tasmanian got the if it got its. mouth on a honey badger no no yeah yeah. if the Tasmanian got its mouth on. Tasmanian can't kill snake.

do it in Korean. um. Frank Sinatra did a [ __ ] English. version oh he did yeah. don't eat snake yeah. his Frank Sinatra one of the best I've. ever heard ever.

baby blue eyes yeah. baby blue I tried though now but they're. tiny and they're but they're little. vicious [ __ ] but I'm telling you the. jaw the strength of them is insane he. can look it up it's some they can. literally break through your femur they. could bite and crack your leg in half so. so can you can you have one as a pet. you would never why why can can you have. an alligator as a pet but you know what. yeah you would never though but I'm. saying you could have any guys but can I. say something could I say something if. you live in Dubai no no how about that. if you're one of those guys where they.

have [ __ ] tigers that roam around. their Castle I'm gonna say something. controversial give it but Tasmanian is a. living species right right and so they. might have the same ailments that some. human beings have like diabetes even. worse what like eight no like you know. oh so the Tasmanian muscular dystrophy. yeah and so it's not as wild its back.

hurts like Ryan you know it's more. docile. and maybe blind in one eye you know I. mean you could probably have one of. those a blind uh blind Tasmanian Devil. with muscular dystrophy yeah some that's. not one that's fully like you know I. mean functioning. yeah okay Carlos see if you can Google. one of those for the tour bus see if we. can get one of those things on the bus. have you been on a bus before you have. on segora's bus yeah you know his bus is. nice for sure it's not gonna be like our. don't whatever you got on his bus ain't.

gonna be like that with our bus buddy. really we have to get it you know how. like a propeller plane you have to get. the thing going we have to push the bus. together. and we got a discount bus dude got an. old school bus it's a Kickstart you. literally have to just get that got that. guy is there no floor and we have to do. like the Flintstones. how nice was seguro's tour bus oh my god. dude so nice it's it's yeah it's not. like his the the his security guy both. of them the one from Austin you mean.

with shaved head and the goatee another. thing don't forget we have no security. it's [ __ ] Carl we have the Evo guy. who Brendan durman's friend McCone. McCone yeah all right well he's never. gone security he weighs like a hundred. [ __ ]. security too right look at him it's me. and McConnell where I come from that's. called a warning that guy. we'd like you to get away we'd like you. too would you we're gonna [ __ ] you up. first listen guys I'm not gonna have to.

tell you yeah. what's the food like in Australia. okay Melbourne Melbourne one of the. greatest cities on planet Earth okay I. like Sydney it was it was fun but Sydney. was a city I recognized you know what I. mean Melbourne was so [ __ ] cool so. many of yous so many Asians no no. so many [ __ ] Asians it was insane and. so many different kinds of Asian food it. was phenomenal did you get recognized I. did. a lot enough enough for what your ego no.

just enough where it was just enough it. felt good well it was nice because I'm. around the world it was nice to be like. whoa dude fans here is [ __ ] awesome I. did a couple of shows I did two shows. sold them out 600 seats of baseball. pretty good it was [ __ ] fun I did get. recognized once in a while the the. coolest thing to be recognized was by. restaurateurs when a chef would come out. because you came into the restaurant. that was way cooler because it was like. oh yeah Mr Santino we're happy that. you're in the restaurant can we you know.

get you some stuff and I'm like yeah you. give me some stuff. she's so gross no [ __ ] you man it was so. funny bro you know what you said no I. wasn't recognized I went to McDonald's I. didn't listen why would I go to. McDonald's in [ __ ] no that's true but. no I had a great time and the food was. so good so many different kinds of like. Asian fusion which is nice because I. know you guys up in the you know up. there you guys don't talk to each other. but down there man they all get along. what do you mean up there up there where. all the age and there's a China heaven.

and a Korean Heaven separated tell me. there's not I'm pretty sure there is you. guys are absolutely not going to the. same I know exactly yeah you're in your. own place yeah but we're on different. clouds Yeah a different crowd it's a. different crowd for a different Cloud I. wasn't sure if you think I was I was. confused. he thought I said crowd I thought you. were saying crowd. say cloud. a different crowd. where are they oh different crowds crowd.

nice yeah what so you're right maybe. there are separations of 100 there's a. separation for sure there's a North. Korea cloud and a South Korea cloud in. heaven uh or are we the same class I. would argue one of those doesn't get a. crowd see this is interesting to me I. didn't where I come from racism it was. Baltimore was white and black yeah then. I moved to LA and I didn't realize that. black people and brown people had a. problem with each other and I was like. this is interesting isn't that funny to.

learn and then I learned about the Asian. hierarchy brother. and he he we used to have we used to. work with this really pretty uh Korean. girl and he was Japanese sorry you said. pretty pretty Korean uh-huh okay and. um. he would always say she's a dog I'm like. what you don't find her attractive he's. like no and then he explained to us that. Japanese they feel that they're the oh. yeah Premier Asian race and that Koreans. are the dogs.

went into this whole hierarchy of racism. among the Asians and as a white guy I. was like. it back and watch this enjoy this right. here you know the irony is they all eat. dog so that's a strange. [Laughter]. she's a dog she's a dog she's a dog he's. just handing out dogs you get a dog you. get a dog all right it's a joke relax. Bob after the podcast write his name. down for me.

yeah in the 1940s of them. and then just nuclear shout out okay. [Laughter]. you guys all like each other I love it. there is dude the the the levels of hate. between Asians is it's not that bad yes. it is wow let me tell you something. because I made the mistake of calling a.

restaurant another I went to go to in. like a fusion place and I mistook what. it was and the server gave me the. [ __ ] like no it's a on the server. okay okay yeah man this is some this. might be some of the best uh some of the. best like Filipino food I think I've. I've ever had oh this is a good crowd. [Laughter]. is this not a Filipino Fusion I thought.

that's no. what what what is this. this is time yeah now what is the. difference. oh Filipino uh that you put mud in the. food. a rock oh mud pie and rocks yeah yeah oh. interesting yeah because they said kind. of something similar about it yeah about. you yeah she was she was like a little. kind of like that sketch didn't go over. well did it no it was I got that it was. a Thai restaurant but what was the.

accent because I went in for crowd yeah. and it threw me off I know well you. landed the crowd that got a laugh the. crowd landed very well no but the food. was phenomenal uh the culture was very. cool it was cool like see also the thing. I learned down there this you'll find. this interesting uh because of to you. know America does this better than. anybody but it was nice to see other. people do it you know how there's a law. or a rule but we'll do something to. skirt around it do you know what I mean. and it's all just accepted and even the.

law won't change because even even the. law is like it's pretty good they found. a [ __ ] loophole you know like in. Chicago you can't smoke in bars anymore. right but if you're a proprietor and you. own the building you can smoke in bars. in Australia no no Chicago so like we. have these been Australia so years and. years ago. um there was a log in serving alcohol on. private establishments after a certain. hour of the day and you know they used. to have all these like strict rules. about it. so what they do what they did was they. named these places hotels so most things. are called hotels right like uh the uh.

you know it'll be like the lamier hotel. or the Napier hotel and all the [ __ ]. when I first saw it I was like let me. [ __ ] hold this hotel on every corner. right why and they're only like a story. tall or maybe two and they told me that. that was the way around it that when. they would when they registered it they. registered to bars as hotels and all. they would need was at least one room. upstairs for a patron to be able to. sleep in so if cops or authority came. they'd go no no they're guests of the. hotel they're staying at the hotel oh. wow so they could privately serve booze. so when you go around Melbourne you'll.

go to all these little tiny hotels. they're just about bars and lounges can. I can I rent the room or no you can't. what just cause oh okay yeah yeah they. would give it to someone like me no yeah. you could though no there are some of. those places do have rooms yeah but you. wouldn't it'd be like it'd be like going. to uh a bar here in LA and then it'd be. like renting a joke space you wouldn't. do it you live there why would you rent. a hotel but there are actual hotels real. nice hotels that also have nice bars so.

it's. it's just weird juxtaposition but most. of the time the bar is just a bar called. a hotel but you have to admit you were. bored at some time bored yeah never not. once you called me and said you were I. called you in concert. [Laughter]. ship station you guys you guys um bad. friends we have a e-commerce business we. ship you guys we love ship station when. it comes to saving money as a small. business owner every little bit helps.

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we like to thank shipstation for. sponsoring the show shipstation.com. this episode so to sponsored by Better. Health you know Andrew what saved my. life Sarah three or four years therapy. always trauma therapy I want to always. improve my life and I want to be free. from all the baggage that's inside my. body and I um I love better help better. help is the best it's therapy and it's. all about you getting yourself the help. that you want if you're thinking about. starting therapy give better help a try. it's entirely done online okay it's.

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a try uh traditional therapy is usually. a little bit more expensive than this. it's harder to get around and to fit. into your schedule so in this regard you. can do it at your time when you want. that's betterhelp.com better. h-e-l-p.com slash bad friends. yeah I'm losing my mind there's nothing. to do you're mean like I was losing my. mind a few times you know what it was I. told sickler this too I was losing my. mind because it's so far there a couple. of days I was getting stoned taking long. beautiful walks and it hit me that I'm. like. so [ __ ] far away from home oh so far.

like a new level of far a nine day boat. ride you know what I mean where you're. like you're [ __ ] forever like. isolated and sad you probably missed. your wife I missed I missed the Comforts. of Home in the weirdest way yeah you. know what I really missed Australia. these [ __ ] and their toilets. dude have the worst toilet they're the. water level in here you know how we fill. that [ __ ] up with what we fill that. [ __ ] up with water so when you poop my. poop better fall into kaboop yeah yeah. out there the water line geek a little.

baby water line yeah so you hit the bowl. every time you [ __ ] every time you [ __ ]. you leave scrapes [ __ ] small then huh. [ __ ] small that's your that's your new. NetApp. I do a little rabbit palette no that's. because you need to drink water can you. control yourself like can you use your. sphincter as a a cut you cut it into. three pieces.

goes back up it might just be up in. there far enough where it doesn't come. back well that's what you put you you. you put air in your stomach it's a. machine.

bring it back out and you cut some more. you don't guys don't even know that dude. that's stupid the poop the poop is in. line the poop is like in line to get. into a nightclub yeah right it has to go. in if you don't let it it's gonna go. home no but no it's gonna go home if you. turn your [ __ ] away it's gonna go I'm. gonna go home and not wait okay let's go. night nightclub analogy okay okay you. people are in groups us three right. nightclub line right and then you have. three Mexicans I just arbitrary okay.

they're not gonna put all six in right. they put you guys are three together you. guys come in cut right so you're saying. three Mexicans like what the [ __ ] is. going on bro so what you're saying is. send the Mexicans back home that's what. you're trying to say aren't you no but. that's what you're trying to say all. right go back to your countries what. Bobby's trying to say he sends the. Mexicans so white people do it in one. thing I'm just learning something white. people take yes we take a show we get it. out you get all of it out okay saving it. for I'm not saving it because in the. Australia situation when you have a. little water you're doing an. installments.

layaway you [ __ ] and layaway I'm in. there like if I could get every demon. out of me at that moment that's the idea. I'm like a rapper when he gets a bonus. check it's just it's all coming out yeah. you're saving you're saving it I'm. spending all of that cash well maybe I. don't know I mean maybe I'm doing it. wrong so do you think this is a white. thing you think do you think many other. Koreans would do this yeah I think. Koreans we use it and we cut it in a. little pieces really cute pieces it's. got to look cute I like I like [ __ ].

on my dude I like [ __ ] on my own. toilet so much that I'll save it like if. I feel it coming up like I can make it. 30 minutes and I'll say yeah because. home is so much better than someone it's. just you know your toy it knows you it. no it yeah it's Comfort there I've got. everything on I know I need it there my. group I've got my grooves ladies. my squatty potty's there it's all there. I like doing it in like gas stations. what yeah you like that and then you. take your time and those filthy [ __ ].

that's where I'm trying to get [ __ ] and. get that's where [ __ ] yeah because it's. like you know you don't leave the. residue of you know when you poo you. leave a little residue a smell you do. you don't I don't smell that's insane. yes you leave a little smell thank you. that's insane what you just said okay. stop saying stuff like that okay yeah. yeah do you leave it a little residue of. course a little something something yeah. my house never has the residue man. what do you mean are you flushing also. you're pooping flush. when you cut it well are you flushing.

everything flushing after you cut every. turkey what yeah are you serious it's. like an elevator. first group comes in you fly further to. the floor another group comes in flush. yeah why you get one and done one and. gone no Let It Ride that's why you get a. hydra flush the ones that they suck a. fart right out of your ass those things. are my favorites do you do this with. diarrhea do you already oh that's a. completely different ball game my friend. of course I cut there too. of course I do it's challenging of.

course yeah you do a little squirt slosh. little squirt flush I get this that. actually made this thank you so much but. in Australia by the way I found myself. talking to other people because I we we. were like all talking about it that I. was like I hit the bowl every time and I. said I feel like I'm having no one's. coming over but even for myself I feel. like I had to like. scrape it away yeah so multiple times I. had to like clean off the bowl because. the water didn't get up that high and. even when I flushed I'm thinking that'll.

take care of it did not it did not wow. until I got to the hotel and the hotel. had the Toto Japanese toilet shout out. to the greatest toilet ever [ __ ] made. I don't know that what is it my brother. it's the one that has a heated seat oh. this [ __ ] dude it heats up in. the middle of the night when you go up. to peas Japanese you know it's Japanese. because they're on a different crop yeah. exactly you've never tried Korean what a. Korean toy looks like they do more what. do they do that Japanese space they do.

yeah the Korean ones have have a. scissors that comes out and cuts for you. you don't have to cut yeah. like a little um like a little robotic. you know nanobot right that comes out. it's like a cup right it takes a little. poo. takes it away there's no splash oh. there's no splash. right so the Japanese they're all right. okay the Korean smells good they got it. better I like the splash though brother. me too the perfect Splash yep when that. [ __ ] Splash goes right back up into.

your sphincter and and not only cleans. it Lubes it for that next one Poor Man's. bidet yeah. yeah. I'm telling you those Japanese toilets. when I came home we got on the internet. and I'm ordering one it warms the seat. also it has so you don't have Night. Lights like in our house when we redid. the bathroom. um the guy was like Hey the outlets on. the wall now can come with little baby. lights as like a little night light. almost to illuminate at night it's.

amazing and I was like oh that's great. this toilet when you get near it has a. glow ring below it and when it feels you. it it glows the toilet so you can just. see the toilet in the bathroom at night. so you don't have to turn on lights to. wake up somebody else in the room it's. [ __ ] amazing the seat's always nice. and warm and it's got two angles of. bidet two mine has a two at home you. have a double bidet double it has a blue. LED light when I walk in late at night. right the seat gets warms but I still. have them the [ __ ] little [ __ ]. robotic thing too see you are in a. different crowd that next level dude you.

are Next Level I'm ordering one of those. things they're incredible a day at home. yeah I have a bidet but but there's. nothing like the poor man's bidet yeah. but also but the poo is making the water. so the water has a little poo in it you. like it my ass has poo in it. that's true that's true yeah I mean. right. anyways you're right anyway. theoretically yeah anyway what let's.

stop talking about poop I had it I know. me too yeah yeah I had I had a. phenomenal time down there I did miss. you I missed you too a lot I called you. a lot I know I called you a lot because. I missed you very much and I wanted to. say hi very often the hours were so. different the hours were great six hours. in a day so it was great for me because. when it was you know around 10 a.m you. know I knew that was the afternoon here. it was great so he'd be up it was kind. of for the first time ever we were on. the same we were cycling the same. because most of the time here I have to. wait till three or four to hit you up. yeah and even still you put on read.

quietly I don't do that delivered. quietly stop [ __ ] doing that. pisses me off can I I'm gonna say. something really honest yeah I have no. idea what the [ __ ] you're talking about. there's a you can you calm down and just. explain it dude this is our entire. relationship let's explain it when I. text you yeah it will say notifications. turned off by Bobby or whatever and. it'll say delivered quietly meaning you. won't get the pop-up on your phone so. you won't know until you open up our. text it doesn't vibrate it doesn't ding.

it doesn't do anything it just comes. into your phone I literally thought my. phone was broken you have it set to that. you said I didn't know that you could do. that you did it somehow somebody did it. I'm gonna have to change it yeah because. it'll say delivered quietly I was gonna. go to [ __ ] Verizon and go can I get a. new phone that's broken well do that. anyway your phone is bro it is broken. yeah yeah you do need to get so why do. people do that like quietly because. that's when at night the ninjas would. love that yeah don't you think ninjas. with the iPhone ninja yeah yeah because. you know when they're in the tree a. ninja calling another ninja she's got.

ninjas in trees right what was it where. else are they where do they live yeah. right right they're about to assassinate. yeah that's it gives them away right the. people look up and go oh the ninja and. then right right yeah that's why. probably they have the silence and they. get back to the base and the boss ninja.

is like. you gave our location away yeah yeah. yeah. well what is that for though like if. you're at night time if you don't want. to be disturbed by text messages and. stuff if you want to like tune out and. turn off yeah you put on the deliver. notification to Carlos knows he's the. [ __ ] text when you're on a date you. don't want other girls if you want oh. did Carlos went on a date and he doesn't. want other girls blowing up his phone. and see another girl go who's that. that's a that's a car like a DM or. something like that are you dating a lot. right now by the way I mean I'm going on. dates can we tell can we tell the fans.

about the amount of uh glory hole. requests this guy's gotten because yeah. I've gotten a lot a lot of emails about. the glory holes I had people reaching. out thinking it was their glory hole. they were like oh I think I know that. one remember he went to the glory Hall. in West Hollywood. we think he thinks that they found he. found the guy the people that he went to. yeah they're like me and my wife had one. and then when we talked about yeah sex. clubs we got an invite to another one. you and I did yeah well you never. [ __ ] said yeah I I know we can when. you get invited.

well it's like every weekend we can go. okay where's it at Beverly Hills and how. much money is it I think we can roll in. for free. and what do I need to bring just your. dick. it's at the shop. yeah no really I have to bring my dick. and then what do I have to I think we're. good because I think they're watching. right now you want to try just for fun. yeah okay why would you say no of course. you should go yeah yeah I've never been. to one last I guess I'll get nervous. most people haven't right right you talk. about it have you been to a sex club.

I've never been no sex club but I when I. first moved here I worked at a hotel and. this dude would come in he was uh he was. lapd's bad boy and this dude would. always roll in with two prostitutes nice. and he was the nicest guy to us and he. would invite us out to these things and. what he would do he was a rich kid his. dad made the money surprise surprise and. he would rent a mansion in Beverly Hills. or up in the Hollywood Hills and then. throw a sex party and it was like Eyes. Wide Shut in the sense that we could. come but you're not partaking you you.

might be able to meet up with someone at. the party but it was like Israeli. soldiers standing next to this room in a. Velvet Rope and then here's a guy and a. girl [ __ ] and here's a threesome and. here's whatever and each room had. something different live sexual act. going on why you mingled him and you did. this you went to this I went to it I. didn't partake or anything but I was. yeah we all went to it from the hotel. like we all rolled together so but when. you're there you just you're stoned or. you're having a drink you're hanging out. at any point are you trying to hook up. with anybody you're trying to talk to.

anybody you can to the people who are. there at the party I'm saying you did. you no no you just chilled oh yeah you. were high I was high but also like this. is the [ __ ] when I'm growing up as a kid. this is what you hear Hollywood is like. and then you get to go to one of these. you're like oh my God that's [ __ ]. real they really do have this they. really have these where do you buy. annual Beats uh online or at uh what's. the store what's the one store that. we've sent you guys to go get stuff to. uh Hustler yeah hustler hustler yeah he. buys them a hustler Bed Bath and Beyond. should have them in the Beyond. Department yeah that's it.

there should be a [ __ ] area in bed. bath beyond where you know it's a little. risque it should be the correct Beyond. should be insane it banned should be. insane yeah it's never you when you go. to a bed Beyond you there's no Beyond. Department oh that's funny you've never. been invited wait there is one is it a. white people thing so when I go to bed. what can I put Prosthetics on and go in. I don't know we'd have to change those. eyes buddy yes the eyes.

[Laughter]. all right all right fine [ __ ] so what's. in the Beyond Department. it's for us tonight oh [ __ ] please tell. me it's hard man I'm sorry yeah it's. like we signed a thing years ago but.

you're not supposed to I mean you know. so we want to lose our 20 off coupons. you know who you know who's gotten you. know who sneaks in well Carlos because. they think he's a white oh that's right. I think he's a white guy by the way and. Bryce fart he's too white when he goes. there they're like get the [ __ ] out of. here dude yes I think Bryce walks into. anywhere and people are like oh this is. the cops. no like he's an informant or something. doesn't he look like an informant yeah. 100 yeah you look like somebody we.

wouldn't trust price either looks like. um but he works for the feds or he's a. school shooter. by the way Bryce good to see you it's. been a long time we haven't seen you in. a while. um and he said I appreciate it but. that's the way I like him minimal talk. about that guy I love you Bryce it's. very good to see you it's been a long. time you're still tall. I was hoping you'd shrink this guy's.

domineering you know what I mean like. because I don't know it says the thing. about like tall lanky guys especially. tall lanky white guys you don't know he. could snap in a minute and go go nuts. I'm on a crate right now oh yes yeah I'm. I am no I don't know when I was playing. when I remember when I first play I. started playing stardew Valley yeah and. I didn't know how to fish oh that was me. that was I know that's what I'm saying. thank you slow down be nice. that was me that was me I taught you how. to fish and stardew Valley he gets. excited that's what I mean about not.

getting into the Beyonce but he was. stuff like that he was so patient with. me yeah he just you. I used to I thought it had to do with. like the repetitive you know I mean. button pushing no he goes it's just very. casual man you just kind of flow with it. you gotta flow with it yeah you know. he'd be a good dad you know video games. he is a dad oh you are no no he's not. dude do you not know what the show is. [ __ ] welcome to the show this is why. we don't have them around anymore I know. because at least Pete will go yeah oh.

yeah yeah he'll disagree when you call. George Andreas if you always hear a baby. in the background crying I love it and. by the way fancy our boy fancy and the. baby I was checking in with him to see. how everything is going and it's not. good she's leaving him 100 yeah he can't. he doesn't know what to do he doesn't. know he's like I gave the baby sambuca. and I was like don't give the [ __ ]. baby dude you're out of your mind man he. doesn't know what he's [ __ ] doing. yeah he doesn't know what he's doing you. know video game right no not anymore see. you know what's so funny is like he's. tried multiple times to get me back into.

it and it's just hard for me and it's. not because like it's not like a time. thing I've got a couple I could do it a. couple hours at night or something like. that but every time I've tried this. sounds like old man [ __ ] it's it's. daunting too many buttons too much stuff. to do I I just want old school old. school I can do a b you know what I mean. but he tried to. he put me on like the best war zone. people that play the game yeah yeah. they're probably real snipers and [ __ ]. yeah yeah but I literally look at.

Andrew's character and he's yeah. [Music]. you know how it Warzone you hit somebody. and they can fall right he didn't finish. it off somebody else finished it off. yeah I know but I shot him out of the. building but his neck count partially I. shot him and he fell off you named. somebody congratulations yeah yeah sick. at least I [ __ ] maimed yeah and our. team won by the way yeah because I had.

the best guys in the country to play. with I think it was you and I no I think. I think me pointing the gun at the me. pointing the gun at the crowds help no. and after that I was like I don't think. this is Andrew's thing yeah you didn't. have the patience to learn you're like. [ __ ] this [ __ ] I didn't it's too comp. it's just too complex also I just I I I. also know me I know I'll get addicted uh. and I'll be you because with anything. like golf I gotta I get I'm obsessed. it's like if I get into a thing I'm. gonna be addicted like you and then I'll. spend so much time I'll be I'll be.

wasting more time than having fun yeah. I'll just be addicted to not having fun. you know what I mean we're not used to. play back back in the day we do Halo and. all that I used to love Halo but we. would be up till [ __ ] I'd look over. and I'm like the sun's coming up yeah. I'd have to call in sick to work and. [ __ ]. yeah it's bad yeah but for me it's like. and I've passed it with four houses. I know it's insane what are you talking. about what are the houses do. what do you mean what are the houses why. do you say the houses because as a kid.

when you create a character you have to. you know they put the Hat on no dude I. do nothing about it you've never seen. Harry Potter the movie I've never. watched one what are you playing I. haven't either that's insane we're about. to start a couple of adult males a. couple of adult males never seen it to. me it's insane okay I don't know who. Selena is of course I know who that was. [ __ ] that was was thank you it was she's. dead she died yeah. you really don't know anything about. Harry Potter I I told you more okay I.

know more than I should know I I told. you the names that's right things so. basically in Harry Potter right when you. first go as a new student right a hat. chooses your house wait a minute. patches so so so a hat is a room of hats. you know what okay so there's one. [ __ ] hat per person no oh one guy's. ahead is one half there's only one hat. oh that's unsanitary yeah right everyone. yeah yeah so you put on a hat and it. tells you basically in the ceremony a. bunch of kids are there and they're and.

they'll like they'll go uh Ron Weasley. come up Ron Weasley will sit down they. put a hat on his head and the hat has a. mouth. and little eyes it's like a little Asian. eyes huh right they said whoa I think. this is Gryffindor and the Gryffindor. clap run we see leaves right and then. they put another kid on the [ __ ]. stool and put the Hat on so that the Hat. tells you where you go to live yeah but. that's based on what what is the Hat. [ __ ] no it's a hat yeah because each. each house has a you know like. Gryffindor is about like um exploring.

right they're like explorers Slytherin. are like people that are like greed or. whatever so you're Slytherin no what are. you Gryffindor you're Slytherin no. you're Slytherin you're Slytherin you're. Slytherin you can't say it to me when I. just said it to you all right you're. Ravenclaw fine and what is he Hufflepuff. 100 yeah he's an Explorer. Gryffindor is the Explorers what's. happening the lazy ones oh yeah I mean. like the old Korean groundski yeah.

it's sickler and a bunch of old Korean. groundskeepers. that's so strange that you guys don't. know like a very big pop cultural thing. well I don't love it we know the. elements that we needed to know we know. we know she was a bigot against trans. people we knocked that out of the park I. know that [ __ ] Harry Potter Ron. Weasley and the girl Hermione I know. that's great I know but the names this. is this is what I'm talking about in the. cultural Zeitgeist I know what I need to.

know from a framework stand up point of. view I don't need to know like the. [ __ ] hat that talks let me ask you. some questions this is very important. sure there's a game that they play. Quidditch wow that's amazing because I. took my nieces I took my nieces to the. ride at the universe at um Universal I. did we I did the ride with them oh let. me ask them this is fun um let me ask. you another question okay um in the. series of the movie there's one anime. you know I mean that is trying to get. back nah now you're [ __ ] with me. there's no anime porn in the [ __ ]. movie there is there's anime porn in the.

movie. enemy yeah. they said anime didn't you say anime I. thought I can't. [Laughter]. believe. I'm just rolling with it yeah I'm just. here to promote my special yeah welcome. to the show you so you don't know about. the anime. enemy enemy yeah the main Nemesis I know. I seen it yeah what's his name Gargamel. yeah. that's pretty close though.

Voldemort Voldemort yeah Voldemort yeah. but he was originally named he was a kid. named Tom Riddle. oh and who played who played Voldemort. um the guy that played um so you don't. even [ __ ] the menu oh yeah I do Rey. finds refines Well I like Ray fines a. lot yeah he's great in it he was he's a. he's such a good actor and then who else. is in it the guy what's my favorite. actor that died that's in it he was the. uh Daniel Radcliffe House of Defense. um legendary he was in Die Hard yeah oh.

I even know this guy wait what's his. name the main enemy what's what's sneeze. what is it Peter Pan Peter Pan not Peter. Pan no. um no oh what's his name I played Hans. Gruber enemies. oh who are you talking about yeah the. guy that played the enemy in Die Hard. the main bad guy yeah first I played him. that's not Hans Gruber well that's the. character's name yeah. but what's his name what Alan Rickman.

Alan Rickman yeah yeah yeah okay yeah. yeah Han gubert that's Hans Gruber yeah. that sounds but Alan Rickman is in the. all the movies wow it's a great cast I. should see it you should in our defense. you don't need to see Empire Strikes. Back to know who Yoda is fast or Darth. Vader facts so stupid no but but he's no. that's what High people say I don't need. to eat a [ __ ] a burrito because it's. like any other burrito that's not true. that's not what he's saying he's saying. we understand what we need to know to. get by.

[Laughter]. all the fans out there boy oh boy am I. glad to be back on this [ __ ] show. and I want to say this we're going to. say goodbye to Our Guest because he's. got to go live a life okay. time out time out this Wednesday in two. days Lefty son is out on YouTube go. watch this [ __ ] special on YouTube. you should link it in the description. boys so they can go click on that easily. and watch his [ __ ] special please and. spread that it's over my YouTube channel.

Ryan sickle on all social media. subscribe to my podcast the Honeydew do. thank you both for do it give him a kiss. for the mic love you too Bob you know I. love you dude I do so much I'm so sorry. what happened to you thank you brother. he's alive thank you for having me here. to support I love you guys I love you I. love you all right get out of here we'll. talk to you soon. you know when I was just in Hawaii I. used doordash so many times because. they're the most reliable they have the. best options I love doordash missing the. syrup from your pancakes sometimes we do.

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off up to a twenty dollar no Min. subtotal and zero delivery fees on your. first order when you download the. doordash app in the app store and enter. the code bad2023. don't forget that's. bad 2023 for 50 off your first order. with doordash when you're in Australia. do you just hold in all your come or. huh say that question again. what do you need to know when I'm in. Australia I hold it in yeah because you. have to what you think down under I. can't I can't just rope one out oh you.

do rope it out you don't think I you. don't think I don't masturbate I know. some people like Steve oh they're like. ah no I saved it for a year well that. was that strange she did like a year of. celibacy uh or he wanted to do it as a. testament to his addiction to see if he. could do that as like a I think that's. what he said yeah no I mean what the. [ __ ] the first day I got to Australia I. cried and I jerked off on the couch you. know what's so funny my patio faced like. five other patios and sadly I was so. lonely for the first week because we. didn't film yet and I was there without. any meeting any cast members yeah I was. hoping someone would like see me a.

little bit oh really just to be like oh. I was jerking off like at the window on. the couch oh right through the window. well I just wanted someone to go like. this. you know but you know what I had a. discussion with with oh with our buddy. Brian Jarvis one of the writers of the. movie who's one of the such a [ __ ]. funny dude yeah and Jarvis and I were. talking about I have a funny story about. Brian Jones we're gonna tell in a second. okay but Jarvis and I were talking about. that about how like people can see you. and all these windows face other windows. so there's no privacy in the need to. close the curtain then it feels weirder. when you jerk off sad in the dark so I.

said yeah I sit on my couch and no one. can really see me you know like kind. maybe kind of or whatever and he goes. you know what's so [ __ ] funny about. that all of us kind of want to be seen a. little bit right a little bit yeah cause. like he goes there's a girl that would. leave you know she would be like. changing and she knows people can see. her but she leaves the blinds open on. purpose because she kind of wants to be. all of us kind of want to be seen you. know it's like in New York you kind of. want someone to see you a little bit. because even if they're like look at. that guy's small dick they can't say it.

to your face they can laugh in their. apartment alone yeah but I don't have to. hear it yeah no I might give them a. little piece of laughter during the day. they see my little red penis and they. might you might have a cup of coffee and. go and that might make his morning yeah. me with my little red penis on the couch. yeah give him a laugh in the card you. pick your nose and eat it I don't pick. my nose okay but and you shouldn't eat. it oh okay do you do it can I just say. something I discovered the other day. Carlos and don't try it why do you have. to rub a warning I know you're gonna try. this okay but I'm gonna tell you.

something I discovered I know you're. gonna try it right is this gonna make me. sick it's gonna be sick Okay so. good we haven't had enough gross [ __ ] on. this podcast all right I will say it. then no please yo you discovered your. uncovery discard. discard huh you discover you uncover. discard you figure it out I'm just. saying it right now you're boogers yeah. but boogers I don't eat them. by the way I would throw that out there. you know I bet we can rewind the tape. right now from like the 12th episode and. I we talk about you eating your booger. why stop.

oh you oh you kicked the Habit until I. discovered something new wait. have you ever Vaped through your nose. no you hold it a [ __ ]. oh and it dehydrates all your books no. it flavors your it flavors. I don't even know if I'm happy to be. back right now. I'm gonna try it you know you're gonna. try it right but don't do the first one. dude same one you don't want to do 15. different flavors up there yeah right. just do one mango there's always a good.

one you flavor your booger I just like. one day I was watching Star Trek I was. alone on my iPad and I was creeping. through my nose. and I go and I remember the smell still. being in my nose like my house sounds. mango it smells mangoey right and then. and then you know the light bulb. wait the two of the nose you know is. like mangoey right maybe the boogers. never didn't do it right away. still watching the new Star Trek and I. was like.

it's like a mango oh God don't all right. so everyone at home you know if you do. vape don't you're gonna try it don't why. why would you teach people to visit. because I feel like people don't eat the. boogers is because it's salty. right it causes high blood pressure Salt. and this and that you know what else it. is dude it's [ __ ] gross it is it's. not just the salt. don't eat your boogers you're gonna try. it Carlos he is probably there's no. doubt in my mind you're totally gonna. try it tell me the Brian Jarvis story. that you want to tell me.

oh well you know he's sober he's a great. guy yeah and um I remember back in the. day when he was loaded you know and I. used to work at the one-on-one Cafe yeah. you mean loaded by the way uh he means. uh on [ __ ] not rich yeah he was on [ __ ]. I know I know the word loaded and he's. like one of those guys that like you. always looked at him and you went this. guy is just Talent she's so so naturally. funny so funny right and then I remember. one day I go you know what you know I. mean hey I want to take you to a meeting. he's like all right man right and I.

remember driving down the street he. opens up the door he just jumps out in. the middle while I'm driving. I see him roll and he's just running the. other way I swear how fast are you going. I was it was a residential area so I was. going maybe 20 miles per hour so he just. jumped out and roll that's gonna run I. looked him in my rear view I'm like what. the [ __ ] is he doing right and. eventually I got him in a meeting. oh yeah but it was crazy that's that's. my old memory of Brian Jarvis so when I. found out that he wrote them he did. punch-ups on the movie A rewrites so the.

movie was written a long time ago and. then it was Rewritten a few times so. Jarvis and his partner Jim did the most. recent version you know what I mean with. Pete because it's funny I've gotten a. lot of calls. from producers that want to do a movie. with us yeah well what the [ __ ] can. Jarvis write it uh would love to he. would let's just do that I'm so down. have Jarvis ride it we got to give him. some concept to write that we can't just. be like write us a movie Andreas is. gonna be pissed Andres is gonna be he's. got a baby now he's confused and also by.

the way yeah we don't speak Spanish. that's gonna be a tough script for us to. [ __ ] read yeah you know I don't know. I don't know I don't know it either stop. stop no listen Andres can have a hand in. this but the guy's gonna be too busy. produce it yes yes yeah he had ideas. you're just worried that you're cut out. what are you talking about yeah you [ __ ]. your Eagle got in the way oh you're. projecting yeah you had a year with this. project dude nothing I wrote a script 18. months ago but not the bad Friends. script yeah I wrote bottom to Turtle.

Island oh did you really yeah yeah oh I. didn't know is it good it is pretty good. we definitely can't make it it's just. not makeable yeah yeah it's good but it. is good yeah. I mean and I'm sad now that magnum's. over we're not gonna be able to do an. episode of Magnum. you bastard man don't even bring that up. man wait why I'm serious I wanted to do. an episode with you what do you mean. they wrote an episode for you yeah dude. I [ __ ] couldn't do it I know yeah I. was in Australia Hollywood. is Magnum not Hollywood oh it is yeah.

and also by the way it's above I know. also all the comments Kirk Fox did it oh. he's so good yeah he's better than me. what do you [ __ ] find that's great. he's a better actor it was fun well. that's worth it yeah yeah all the. comments that say I'm more Hollywood is. so comical to me because you know he's. worked with the same level of like stars. but they do that because they placate. his little ego and so annoying to be. like oh said titiro's how you do the. same kind of [ __ ] that I do you do the. same thing you do TV and fail me do all. sorts of stuff yeah I know but you hang. out with them afterwards I don't I cut. the line no you know why no they don't.

yeah I do you don't caught the line they. go hey they go hey you want to go out no. I cut the line I know what they go oh. cool. he's been sitting in the corner eating. his mango boogers at this restaurant no. [ __ ]. yeah I will say I will say this I did. get to eat kangaroo and hang out with. Cena and John is one of the [ __ ] he's. such a nice guy it's like a new level he. loves you. are you being real he remembers I called.

you and we talked about I talked the. same day I called you up because come on. tell me more see. he does remember the sketches because he. said he he made the comment about you. know us together yeah it was very. complimentary and was super nice about. it and then he said you know I used to. do [ __ ] with Bob and I said I know Bob. told me yeah and then we were just. talking about it for a while he's a good. dude he's great and talk about a guy. that [ __ ] has worked hard for the. success it's kind of crazy it's like. sometimes you meet people where you're. like how do these people fall face first. into luck yeah with him it was like you. can just he's a Workhorse yeah he works.

even when back when he did Mad TV you. could tell that he's just there ready. learning and yeah wanting to do it did. the [ __ ] the [ __ ]. exercises uh he plays piano during the. day to keep piano up he then he. practices Mandarin during the day to. keep all that [ __ ] up wow dude and. meanwhile I'm you know jerking on my red. penis on my couch. it's like I feel like I needed to do so. much more yeah me I'm like vaping out of. my nose it's terrible when you meet. people that do so much you're like [ __ ].

I need to be doing more so what did I do. I bought a couple of books while I was. there how many did I read there's no way. you've read how many did I read zero I. swear to God I bought five how many did. I read you say zero what do you say. Carlos how many did I read two how many. Bryce. three hmm I read all five [ __ ] all you. guys I read all five books beginning to. end no you skip around. no really I'll bring him in I'm gonna. bring are they Cliff Notes. laughs. are they Cliff Notes well down there.

it's Cliff Notes yeah it's just a cliff. notes yeah hey mate they're so [ __ ]. nice by the way let me ask you about. Australians as a people right so nice. but in terms of beauty ah can we talk. about that well we can all right would. you say that there's a lot of pretty. women but the men are straight look the. mullet they're Theo Von yeah is. everywhere yeah he's everywhere he's. king that's all you see is mullets it's. mullet City dude and Carlos is here yeah.

you'd be a god they'd build a statue out. of this guy wow dude there's so many. guys that have like long flowy hair that. are bald it's a Vibe but are they. stylish at least the guys yeah it's. their style which is what. Australian Bogan they call Bogan Bogan. yeah you're a Bogan mate so what is it. khakis or no no they don't wear [ __ ]. khakis you know what they look like down. there they look like what we used to. look like in the 90s they all were like. super baggy oversized you know like Doc. Martens are. everyone has Doc Martens on uh because I.

imagine they dress like Panama Jack. right with the like the a tan vest no. not being real right like it's a safari. hat no none of them alligator shoes no. they're like hip kids they're like hip. kid everyone that looks like a [ __ ]. cool kid yeah we look like [ __ ] they. look like cool kids but that was the. vibe that was the style was a lot of. like mullet haircuts but it looked cool. they styled it and looked dope obviously. it's not for me or you could do it I. guess. you could do a mullet I've done a mullet. before.

but it's not really your style you know. it didn't look good with me that's what. I'm saying in fact I'm getting my. haircut do you mind if I take a haircut. before the tour I was gonna say I think. we should shave our heads for the tour. I'm Really Gonna shave my head I think. we should shell shave our head for this. would you shave her head Jesse's got to. do it too then yeah no yeah Jesse yeah. we all have one if we all have to do it. as a family if she's gonna do it Carlos. this took me years. I know we're trying to just play your. game no I was thinking about doing like. a bowl cut I love that you know like. like one of those like most beautiful.

haircuts. yeah who's Edgar I don't know I just. agreed with them yeah but why do you. what the [ __ ] is that he doesn't know. what he's talking about Edgar what the. [ __ ] is that Edgar who what's Edgar and. is it called Edgar yeah it's called. Edgar cut and it's apparently uh NBC. says gen Z Latinos are crazy about it. the story is that a young fan asked to. Barber Anthony Reyes to cut and shape a. design of a Major League baseball player. Edgar Martinez yeah Edgar Martin I want. to look it up right now Edgar cut I just. told you I know I want to look what. looks Edgar cut there we go yeah let me.

look Reyes no I'm not doing that so wait. a minute this yeah that looks so dope. you know what I'll do with you yeah yeah. if you're down we can give each other. haircuts on the bus you want to give. each other haircuts on the bus no I'm. not doing no no no no no I need a trim a. tiny no no I can't no I want to go to a. professional guy and do it I'm gonna get. an Edgar cut what's the fun in that. going to a guy who does hair let's go. let's give each other cuts on the bus. because you're gonna [ __ ] Nick my. scalp that's the [ __ ] fun of it no.

because I get boils oh yeah little baby. bottles I have little baby balls on the. head all right we'll get a professional. yeah but can we do this on the tour can. we go to a black barber shop and get. like Fades oh yeah that's tight I would. love to do that also by the way we got a. shout out from somebody can I go in with. Urban Bob or what no we can't do Urban. Bob we can yeah yeah I got a shout out. from a guy uh I'm not gonna say the name. but we got invited to go to like one of. the highest end. um Diamond stores to go get like Iced.

Out oh wait you and I did and now we did. in Houston I'm not gonna say where we'll. talk about it later oh so what does I. stop mean go Diamond should we go get. [ __ ] ice like I like diamonds how. much more necklaces does it cost I don't. know we'll figure it out when we get a. grand 20 grand I don't want to do that. I'll lose it let's get grills yeah does. that stay in forever no what the [ __ ]. you take it out no but we can it's like. it's like a [ __ ] what do you call it. it's like yeah like a retainer yeah yeah. it's like a retainer and you put it over. your teeth. let's get grills please yeah yeah let's. do it all right [ __ ] yeah let's do it I.

would love girls grills for the crew how. about what else what else do they do huh. what who where else can you put diamonds. on your body you can put diamonds no no. it's like four chains and all we can put. diamonds on your forehead or you can do. like one of those Indian duck dots yeah. yeah yeah. right little Uzi did that I think Lil. Uzi vert has a diamond in his [ __ ]. face well maybe I would just do like an. eye oh your third eye like a third eye. but then blank these out because I sew. these up right and I'm Cyclops but then. I wouldn't be able to see but you could.

correct yourself you could oh yeah those. mango boogers. by the way your new nickname is mango. booger mango Burger internet do it. internet do it listen I was just kidding. about that to be honest with you. never even tried it dude it's like you. know I just threw it out there man yeah. I was saying science experiment if see. if it works it works I don't know if it.

does I've never tried it. look at me in the [ __ ] eye and say. yeah never tried it I never tried it. look at me in the eye and don't look. away I never tried it swear to God no. see. uh doesn't swear to God I don't swear to. God well I've never tried why don't you. swear to God I swear to God if I think. that um it's real it's real yeah yeah. it's real yeah yeah if it's real I swear. to God but you know why juicy is in the. studio today we should say that for some. of our fans because she's on tour with. Anthony [ __ ] dude this [ __ ]. steals Arkansas that's our crew he's a.

sucker dude he's infusing in our crew. yeah [ __ ] dude he's lucky he's so good. at comedy otherwise we'd fight him we. should still we should fight him I. honestly I love that guy I know I. [ __ ] and that's why it's okay like if. it was somebody else I brought Jesse it. would kind of irritate like who who I. don't want to do this I don't want to do. it right now I don't want to do it get. in trouble I don't want to do it right. now. um okay how about this what if Paulie. took her out because I think well Polly. does right yeah Paulie does bring her. all right so that's fine what if what if.

are they gonna throw up names no okay do. it throw a name. what if. who would take her out that would annoy. you what if Griffin took her out. for dinner I would laugh you'd laugh why. why I would just laugh. I would laugh come on no I would go to. juice and go really you want to do this. would that if she if he took her out. would you not let her back on the show. as a punishment for a week at least.

I'll make it seem like we're done with. her right and then bring her back later. oh my God right because that's a little. if he has to uh-huh that's betrayal that. is he's too close to us too close yeah. too close. um eat him or in fact any of our friend. Circle no yeah right if it's somebody we. don't know like Dr Drew. fine I love Dr Drew you know what I mean. she could open for him what if a mayor. like Marin. that's interesting though it is an. interesting one because he could he. might that is kind of like her vibe you.

know what sickler said about her that I. thought was very nice and you didn't say. it when we talked he goes you know what. the reason that she's such a good fit. she has such a great disposition she's. like such a positive [ __ ] Vibe no. she's not just she's such a good one of. the greatest people I've ever met I. think in my life I'm honestly she. doesn't have a bad bone in her body in. her body she's just really just well. look she's a great comic is with the the. a that a a the first thing good great. comic but then like her mood her thing. the thing I can't describe so she won't. talk bad about anybody no she doesn't.

want how does he feel about this person. she won't do it she goes another. whatever yeah yeah and you go yeah but. they're really good girl they talk [ __ ]. about you and she'll go that's a bummer. and then she'd move on meanwhile if I. said that about you if I say you know. who talks [ __ ] about you you're like I'm. gonna [ __ ]. it's the Korean side that is and you. know what that's not your fault it's a. cultural thing speaking of Koreans go. watch beef on Netflix Oh beef just came. out I know I see the Billboards I. haven't seen it just came out yeah you. happy with it I haven't seen it yeah. they did it Premiere I couldn't go. because I was her show was really good.

he is yeah Steven young. was he yeah there's so many good people. in that you're on it I'm in it but I'm. not really in it you'll miss me if you. watched it you wouldn't even know I'm. there really no I mean also they you. know I couldn't go to the premiere. because I just got back from Australia. and I was working yeah and then I you. know got asked by a few people like why. wouldn't you go and I said have you seen. the [ __ ] pictures online. what do you mean it's it's [ __ ] 37. Asians why would I be the one [ __ ]. like hey I already have that it's the.

house party poster I'm [ __ ] the only. dumb white guy yeah yeah hey wow wow I. don't need that again and also you want. to talk about a moment for [ __ ]. people of color or minorities this is an. all Asian show it's it's a I think it's. probably one of the first of its kind. that has that many main character all. ages 100 right yeah so what am I [ __ ]. doing there they should have not invited. me they should be like you can't come. you white [ __ ] devil because they. want to use the best Sunny thinks you're. great no no I'm saying for the promotion.

of it at the premiere it's like I don't. need to be there for that's you guys. it's time to shine yeah what am I gonna. do also I'm barely in it I'm not it's. also weird like I I went to Bert. Kreischer and Whitney's you know um only. fans roast uh screening and they're like. going the the line go in the [ __ ] um. you know the Press line oh right right. I'm like I'm not in it you're not in it. yeah and they're like please like I'm. not doing it well because you're not in. it not in it but why would I have to do. that if you're in it it's different I'll. do it right right so it's like but. that's the other thing why I wouldn't do.

anything I mean I would promote it. online I promote posted about it but. it's like me going to the premiere even. if I could I wasn't here but even if I. could it's like this is not for me do. you know what I mean yeah it's like it's. for them it's for Stephen and Alex. Koreans love you. I love them too we love you you know I. know but I'm just saying Carlos he's. nodding off he gets me I'm saying I'm. not naughty yeah why are you nodding no. I was just thinking no because he's not. he's using again. he's [ __ ] nodding off dude I've seen. him do it three times today you're. fentanyl are you fattening again I mean.

just no I'm at one milligram of fentanyl. because I saw on the bus ads that it. takes two to overdose. so you need one see he's half docent are. you being real man no of course. we're gonna keep we're gonna keep it. what a beef is that a hundred percent on. Rotten Tomatoes that's amazing yeah. that's great well it's not because of me. it's [ __ ] good those guys are so good. in that thing dude honestly when I when. I saw some of the scenes I wasn't in. just like watching I was like I'm just. doing a fun good show yeah that's a. little jealous I wasn't Korean what.

you're imagine being the only white guy. on a Korean show that's how good you are. as a white I know but they used to they. would throw stuff at me at lunch oh. really what all the Korean that's rice. it doesn't hurt. but handfuls of it hurts yeah oh I see. and it's not wet rice it's hard it's. hard it's uncooked rice right and they. go Lunch is ready white devil and they. would Hawk rice at me yeah and then. honestly yeah they would they'd make me. take off my clothes and wear tidy. whities I had to wear tighty whitey. underwear yeah that's a wardrobe set so. I never wore boxers and they were tidy.

ways and they would hit me with rice and. then I had to eat it raw and pick it up. one by one like have you ever been on a. set where it was like all Asians. probably not that was probably the first. set you've ever been on that that's like. that that or the Jet Li film I did. [Laughter]. no and you know what it was [ __ ] you. know what's fascinating about that show. not like I need to we're not plugging. the show but like it was such a great. perspective of like what it's like. feeling like a young Korean America in. Los in Los Angeles yeah and the culture. and the subculture that existed in their.

world particularly because we weave in. and out of religion and they talk a lot. about like going to church in it and. these church people and to see that as a. kid who not not a church guy but I saw. white people do that in our world and I. was like this is cool to see the. perspective of a Korean sure because how. how serious some of them take it because. some of the Koreans in church that's. like holy [ __ ] [ __ ] yeah I might. start going that's like some white [ __ ]. the way that you guys are with church is. like some white people [ __ ] yeah and it. was cool as [ __ ] to see beyond the fact. that Sunny made an amazing show I'm just.

saying perspective wise it was cool to. watch another culture's perspective on. things that we could also compare to and. go oh wow that's [ __ ] that sick yeah. yeah it was dope the show was [ __ ]. God bless Asians man good people yeah. great people we're the best not the best. no chance I know we're good you're up. there and we're up there you know who. goes first. let me guess. in terms of Asians or just white people. oh people just people redheads not.

redheads you're last no not last you're. second to last close yeah yeah we'll be. third or second to laugh yeah yeah. white people black oh for sure yeah. blacks are the best they're the best. well they do yeah they're the best yeah. and then Asians smell so good Asians. that's weird. what last night go ahead. you smell someone that smell really good. well Dave Hellam brought me up I love. Dave and he always hugs me yeah and I. smelled him.

yeah yeah it's like this sweet you know. sweet sweet smooth it's like their. cigarettes. sweet smooth yeah okay black people so. like slick they smell like that that. sounds racist yeah it does it's not it. does I was slick bad slick always is a. term of like oh look at this guy's. [ __ ] things he's slick like cool cat. cool cat yeah right like 19. I smell. them I was like and I want to go.

like he left after because I went up. after him uh I want to go how do I get. that smooth yeah I have to have another. life and he's like nah you'd be like nah. nah not for you yeah not for me I'm more. um pungent yeah is it good yeah so if. he's sweet smooth yeah yeah you're. pungent rough. yeah. you know um. you know what it's like stale fruit. you stale fruit I'm still fruit what am. I oh you're um dry wood old baloney.

dried wood actually is exactly what. white people smell like dried wood dry. wood yeah yeah what about Carlos what. about uh Mexicans. um. [ __ ] that's a hard one huh Mexicans well. he's different because he's like an. imposter Mexican yeah he's not one of. the ones that we love like this guy you. know this guy doesn't make a Pupusa no. [ __ ] way no I can't make pupusa no. that's what I'm saying it's like he's a. [ __ ] phony Mexican I would order. pupusa see though see yeah like a. [ __ ] white yeah I'll order pupusas. [ __ ] white.

um soccer ball being I don't know. I'm trying to find what do Mexicans. smell like to you. um laundry. that's good yeah laundry they always. smell like clean laundry yeah yeah every. neighborhood I go to yeah on the east. side smells like laundered Frijoles. London Frijoles. is that offensive no no it's kind of. like right on we're kidding we're all. kidding we're all kidding we're all. kidding for [ __ ] sake internet yeah I.

want to take this time while you sip. your water to thank you so much for. holding down the bad friends family Fort. you Bryce George fancy Carlos thank you. for holding down when I was gone you've. done it always done it you know that's. we help each other we got to keep this. thing going this is the bad friend's. family yeah and I'm serious when I say. this I ca I seriously genuinely can't. wait for people to see what we've got. planned for the tour on the live show. you're gonna get stand up from both of. us you're gonna get stand up from juicy. you're gonna get bits live bits. interactive bits that Carlos is working.

on now audience members when you show up. this is phenomenal this is the first. time we've talked about it there is. going to be a code that they can sign up. to be members of the physical live show. to come on stage perhaps to maybe. interact with us to maybe get another. slice of being a part of the best. friend's family so we've worked on this. we've got a way to do this you are going. to be involved doing great bits from the. show uh Bobby is going to play music. sign your waiver too please sign your. waiver I also um want to say something. that um it's very difficult for me to.

say. but I really. um. I really do love you. and um you're a real friend. and. um you know I you know I think about. like kalila you and people around me and. um I'm just so blessed to have just. great people that love me I can feel it. you know um I haven't had the best month. of my life you know and it's like um. you guys are just really there for me. and I really appreciate it man I love. you so much I love you so much and you.

know what. it's so hard for me to say I know it's. so hard I know you know. it's like giving Hitler a high five. I mean you know when he's doing this and. yeah. yeah it's really hard but you did it. yeah I did it because I'm your Goebbels. yeah you you know you you look at your. life and you go you look at the people. around you and it's like oh I know I. have love and support and you never. think that you know about your life you. know.

um but when you do it's touching you. know and and I get emotional about it. well I love you and thank you and you. know what what thank you for being a bad. friend. [Music]. now when you get annual leads you know. you would think you would want white. ones white ones yeah no you'd think. you'd want the ones that don't show. anything no you want to see what the. change of the color for me I want the. change like a mood ring. dude you should make mood beans. why so that you can know how clean you.

are that's cool that I do I understand. what you're saying okay good but I think. the mood bead one is better you think so. well because when you. then you're like is everything okay. all right you seem you're you're happy. your booty's Moody yeah. oh yeah someone's feeling cheeky. [Music].

thank you.