The Slow Clap | Ep 315 | Bad Friends
Hey. >> I believe our Patreon is the best in the. business. We do. >> Number one. >> We We release things that we cut out of. the show. >> Yeah, stuff that you can't get on the. show, you're going to get on Patreon. And along with the fact that we've. always been putting out episodes that. are ad-free on Patreon. >> We're constantly filming. >> When we're constantly filming. And also, McCone has put together a bunch of uh. the docu-series of us tours and on the. road. We just released London and. Dublin, which combined is 2 hours and 40. minutes of more Bad Friends content. >> a full month, you get 70 off One full.
month, you get 70% off. >> Yeah. Sign up for 70% off the new. members. You're going to get 70 70 70%. off for new sign-ups to the Patreon. So, go to uh. patreon.com/badfriends. and check that out today. >> Yep. >> You two are bad friends. >> Who are these two idiots? >> White dude and Asian dude. You two are disgusting. >> Well, you two are something. >> We're bad friends. >> Last night. I fell in love with you last night.
>> Last night. >> You look good today. Your hair looks. good. You look good. You look smooth. >> Interesting. Because uh. >> Smooth baby Asian boy. Baby Asian boy. >> So, we're at. Okay. >> Go ahead. >> At the Comedy Store last night. >> Yeah, at the Comedic Store. >> I DID ALREADY, DUDE. >> WE WERE OUT THERE SELLING JOKES. >> Already already, dude. Already, dude. >> I'm just you from last week. >> yeah. Already, dude. Already. >> I'm you from last week. >> Yeah. I'm you from from 3 years ago.
I I doesn't make it I don't know that. makes. I'm sorry, dude. >> What's up? Okay, tell the story. >> There is no story, dude. >> What's the story? >> I. I just I don't know, dude. >> What's the story, morning glory? What? This? >> Nothing, dude. >> What's up? What happened last night? >> You're a little rude. >> What What did I do? >> I'm at the Comedy Store. Um I'm I'm. watching your set. Great set. >> Terrible set. It was not a good set. I was meanding through meandering. through poop last night. Sebastian gave. me a great intro. I don't think I brought this guy on.
stage before. Yeah, he has. A fellow Chicagoan, ladies and. gentlemen. He's got an Italian last name, he. doesn't look Italian. >> Yeah. >> It was such a good intro. He killed harder in an intro than I did. on any of my jokes. He crushed and. then. >> you did I thought you. >> And I went up there and just. That's all I did for 15. >> Okay. >> for 15 minutes. >> I'm in the hallway. >> Fart, crap, poop. >> Oh, cuz then that was the reason. >> And then he's he's in the hallway. I can.
see him. I can see. just a little dumpling resting in the. window of the hallway and I walk down. and this is what he's doing. This is. what he's doing. Leaning against the. wall going. >> You know you know what that's called? >> you want my reaction to be? >> you know what. okay. Okay, okay. >> WHAT WOULD YOU WANT? I ATE on. stage. >> AND THEN THAT. >> THEN YOU'RE LEANING against the wall. going. >> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, OKAY.
>> IMAGINE THE LEVEL Imagine the level OF. CONDESCENSION WITH. >> OKAY, SO. >> WHAT WOULD ANYBODY'S reaction be. >> Okay, all right. Okay, so I didn't know. Let's just backtrack a little bit. I. didn't see your set. I didn't see your set. >> Stone-faced. >> I didn't see your set. I showed up, right? I'm in the hallway. I'm watching. him, right? Toward the end, right? So I. have no idea what he did, what the crowd. is like or whatnot. I hadn't even gotten.
into the room. Okay? So he walks out and just as a joke. I go. Right? He walks right past me, says. nothing, right? Goes to the kitchen. >> That's right. >> Right? Slips out the back. >> To the valet. >> Yeah, to the valet. Without acknowledging my presence. >> And then Bobby runs up to me. >> Yeah. >> This is icing on the cake. Everyone's in. agreement with me, by the way. >> Okay. >> But this is icing on the cake. After the. condescending clap, then he chases me in. the parking lot, and he goes, "You're.
not going to say hi to me? You're not going to say hi to me?" And I. said, "I got to go home." And then he. goes, "We're business partners.". >> I did say that. >> We're business partners. >> Yeah, so we are. WE ARE NOT BUSINESS OH, WE'RE NOT BUSINESS PARTNERS. >> We're not friends. >> Okay. Exactly. >> We're not friends. >> We are. >> I guess not. Because I would have led. with. >> Two things can be true. >> Say hi to my friend. I guess I'll say hi. to my friend.
>> you say hi to your friend? >> We're business partners. >> Why couldn't you say hi to my. >> Like it's a law firm. >> Oh, yeah. Okay, it's it's Santino and. Lee, not Lee and Santino. Law firm. >> The boss is here. >> The boss is here. You're the boss, dude. Okay? I was your intern. You moved me up. as a. >> I'm the only boss I'm the only boss that. gets paid the same as his employee. I'm the only boss on Earth where the. employee is matched to the CEO. >> Anyway, um. I grabbed your wrist. >> You did. I didn't.
>> Because you're try No, because you were. trying to leave. >> trying to get in my car and go home. >> I know. I'm going to because you're not. going to I'll tell you what's not going. to happen here, bud. Okay? What's not going to happen here, bud, is us being in an environment where. you're just going to not acknowledge my. presence. That's what's not going to. happen. >> See, this fame is going to his head. I. told you, Andre, when I called you last. night, I said, "I think he's getting too. famous.". >> Oh my god, dude. I. Is he gaslighting me, dude? >> What? You're getting too famous. A lot of. people have been telling us.
>> Okay, so. >> grabbing a friend's wrist is generally. considered crossing a physical boundary, particularly if it's done without. consent, forcefully, or to your boss. Particularly to your boss. >> Okay. Boss man, I'm sorry I grabbed your. wrist. >> I had a bad couple of sets. >> I did not know that information. >> through new all this week. Some. nights are good, some nights are tough, but I'm trudging through the mud. >> Mhm. >> And then the clap in the hallway. >> Yeah. >> It was like a Seinfeld episode. He did. the clap. >> He did the clap. He did the clap. Ah, I.
did not know. So now I have further. context of the situation. >> Yeah. >> And you had every right to not say hi to. him. >> I love you. Thank you. >> Okay. >> But I'm going to grab your wrist from. now on. >> I mean you you're going to get hurt. If. you do that, you're going to A slow clap. is widely considered a condescending. sarcastic or ironic gesture. Everyone in the world. IN AFRICA. THEY KNOW. >> YEAH, THEY KNOW? >> YEAH. OH, OH. >> YEAH, OH, OH, OH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. >> They know. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> They know. >> Yeah, okay. >> So it was condescending. >> And a guy has a cricket stick? What's.
going on here? What's the context? He. missed? >> He has a cricket stick. Yes. >> A miss? >> Okay. >> He missed and slow clap. Okay, good. So. uh they play cricket in Africa? >> All over the world. >> Okay, good, good. >> Cricket is a universal sport. >> thank you so much, right? I want to be. >> No, I just had a terrible set. I was. bombing. >> Did not know that. >> in the slums. I was bombing in the slum. >> Yeah, so I grabbed your wrist, I said, you know, um say hi. And I understand why you. reacted the way you did and I apologize. >> Thank you. I love you. >> Yeah, I love you, too. >> for ignoring you in the hallway, but the. slow clap. got me good.
>> All right, all right. >> All the way home. >> Yeah, yeah. >> No music. And all I can hear is. >> Yeah. Okay. >> looping through my head. >> Okay, okay. >> Yeah. >> Yeah, yeah. >> Anyway, can I just throw another fact in. there, though? >> Give me another. >> If I may, yeah. >> Please. >> I killed. But anyway, let's move on. Okay. I had a really good set, but uh. >> I know you did. >> No, but I cuz I'm doing old. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> But. not for long.
>> Okay, not for long. >> Because the finally tour is on sale. right now, so please go to bobbylee. >> All right, very good. >> Go to bobbylee.live. And please go see my my best friend, my. business partner, as he refers to it. I would have said friend first. I. consider you my friend first. One of my. closest friends. >> Yeah, I I agree. >> do a job together. >> Yeah. >> But I wouldn't do this if we weren't. friends. >> I understand that, but we are also. business partners. >> We are. >> Yeah. >> But I'm you're you're my friend first. I. care about you more than this. >> Okay, yeah. Yeah, yeah, and I would. agree with that. >> Because otherwise, if we're just two.
guys doing a show who aren't friends, then it's just two bears, one cave. >> Keep that in. That's true. >> I'm Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> Is he I'M KIDDING. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER. >> Jiminy Christmas. >> They're tequila or whatever. Go buy. their tequila. >> Are we not allowed to make jokes with. anymore with anybody? Is everyone. sensitive? >> Yeah, they're very sensitive. I love. that shirt and your hair looks. good. >> You're doing all the You're touching a. lot of the buttons right now. >> you why, because I quit smoking as well. >> No, you didn't. >> Yeah, this day two.
Yeah. >> Dude, did you really? >> Yeah, day two. >> Day two? >> Yeah. >> And how do you feel? >> Pretty good. Well, I'll tell you I'll tell you why I. did it. Um, and. I'm not a scientist, as you know. >> I don't know. >> I don't know. Some people think. >> Is it general health and well-being? >> Yeah. >> Are you coughing at night? >> No, what No, what happened was I was. smoking a cigarette, and I had a loogie. >> Mhm. >> You know what I mean? >> Yeah. >> As one does, right? And in my sink I. just went and I just spit in the sink.
>> Inside your house? >> In the sink. >> Right, right, right. Oh, were you. >> My sink isn't in my backyard. >> smoking? >> Yeah, yeah. No, it's. >> It what? >> You have an outdoor sink. You have many outdoor sinks. >> I do have outdoor sinks. >> Wait a minute. I thought you were. smoking in this. >> No, I wasn't I was smoking in the house. I went I smoked a cigarette outside. I. went inside, right? I did loogie, right? >> Got it. That's fine. >> Right. And then I just let it sit there. Science. Remember the science? >> Okay. >> I did. I'm a scientist. >> You're the scientist.
>> Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> That's right. >> Yeah, and. um. it dried. >> It does, yeah. >> As one does. >> It should, yeah. >> Yeah, as it's called elements. You know. what I mean? >> I told you he was a scientist. This is good. So, the elements caused it. to dry. Yes? So, elementary ele. Elements caused them to dry. >> Right. >> dried. >> They call it air. >> Air? >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> Learning. >> You're learning. You're you are you are. learning now. >> So, the loogie dried in the sink. >> Right.
>> And then. >> You want to know about geopolitics too? I'm really. >> Not interested. >> Okay, okay. Anyway, um. and it would it looked like um. I it looked like tar. >> Yes. >> After it dried. >> Because of yes, the. >> Because of the smoking. >> Right. >> Right. And then because Remy had died, right, death was on my mind. >> Mm. >> Right? And I made the connection. >> Yeah. >> between the tar loogie that dried. through elements, through air, and. whatnot. Okay? >> Yeah.
>> And the death of my dog made me go, I'm. done. >> Mm. That's good. >> Yeah, yeah. >> So, um I'm a little anxious. Um I tell I told the boys before, I. don't know if I could do this today. I. have you know, very filled with anxiety. and um you know, I don't know much I. don't know what I'm going to talk about, but you know, but we're here. >> Well, you're cold turkeying, why don't. you just supplement it with. >> sweating. >> Why don't you do just a smaller doses of. nicotine to get you off in general? Oh, you're still doing it. >> Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm doing it. >> I know. >> Of course you're doing it. >> Yeah, I am. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> Yeah, but I mean I'm not. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah.
>> I got it. >> Yeah, but it's um. Yeah, there's a lot of anxiety here. >> But it's okay. >> going on. >> But you got to stop. >> I. >> Not to be dark. >> Cuz you you've also mentioned a lot. You're still smoking, you're still. smoking. >> Yes. >> to stop smoking. >> I have said it a lot. >> Yeah, do you know why you said that? >> Mm. >> Not because we're business partners. >> Mm. >> Because we're friends. >> Yeah. I do care about the business of it all. No, no. I do care about you a lot, tremendously. And if I'm being honest, and I know this is not going to be a. funny part of the show, but I don't. care. >> Yeah, yeah.
>> My biological father. is. uh. uh uh perpetually sick because he smoked. for like 45 years. >> Mhm. >> I mean, he's got. >> Did he quit? >> He did, dude, but. >> When? >> Uh got to be. 15, 20 years ago. >> why is it cuz if he quits, I quit, I'll. keep smoking then. I'm. >> No. No, no, no. >> are already in play. >> No, you can lessen how bad it is cuz. your body is your lungs are incredible. They clear out very quickly. >> Oh. >> But if you smoke up until you're like. 60s, you're in deep.
>> All right, you're in deep Yeah, yeah. >> So, if you quit now, the lungs are. amazing. They clean out at such a rapid. rate. >> But Keith Richards has always been my. bar. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. You know what I mean? Because you. know, there's a legendary story where he. smoked like two packs of Marlboro Reds a. day. >> a photo of Keith Richards today. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Without makeup. >> Yeah. >> Without his makeup and hair done. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> So, you go to the first photo. Yeah. There you go. That's what you want to. look like. He's 42. >> No, yeah. >> Him and I are the same age. >> Well, my point though, but he's alive. though. >> He's barely alive. >> I know, but in my mind I'm like, oh, is.
Keith Oh, wait. Oh, there it is. That's. the photo. >> That's what he looks like. >> That's what he looks like. Yeah, that's. Yeah. >> left. >> On the left. >> the way, yes, he is alive, Bobby. He's. A, an anomaly, and B, and B, if you know. nothing about this show, once we speak. of this on this show, >> Yeah. >> he will be dead soon. Everyone we talk about on this show. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> Oh my god. Someone sent me a clip. I guess Eric Dane passed away. >> Yeah. >> And we talked about him 2 weeks before. >> I know. I didn't even want to Yeah, I. said his name. >> It was just in conversation and we were.
like, Eric Dane and and how. We got to stop talking about. celebrities. They're all going to be. dead. >> Can we talk about celebrities we want TO. DIE? >> DIDDY. WAIT, we did a whole episode on Diddy. He didn't die. >> Yeah, he didn't die. >> So, it doesn't work. >> Yeah, it doesn't work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> You know who I saw had some celebrity. beef this week that was wild? >> Who? >> Was Arquette and Tarantino. Did you see. this? >> Oh, yeah. >> She's. This is what's interesting about. Hollywood. Like, now they're attacking. each other. >> Mhm. >> Because she was in Pulp Fiction. and then she didn't like.
>> Jackie Brown? >> No, wasn't she in Pulp Fiction? >> She was. She's mad about the N-word. scene at the end. >> Wait, what? Arquette? >> Rosanna Arquette. >> Oh, Rosanna Arquette. >> Rosanna Arquette. >> Oh, it's Rosanna. Okay, yeah, yeah. >> She's in Pulp Fiction. >> Oh, yeah, yeah, you're right. She is in. Pulp Fiction. >> And and she doesn't like that he used. the N-word in the scene with the at the. house with the guys, and she did like a. whole thing about it. And then Tarantino. went off online. It was nuts. >> Yeah, well, what he was like, he didn't. seem to uh uh he's. uh. >> Well, this is just what she said. >> You take 12 Years a Slave, which is. supposed supposedly made by an amateur.
Steve McQueen is very different than. Quentin. >> Auteur. >> Wow. >> Auteur. >> have a Yeah. She's just going on about. him using the N-word and saying it's. like, you know, cheap and hack and gross. and whatever. And then he popped off. And he was like, "You had no problem. taking the job from me.". >> Yeah. Also, at the time though when that. when that movie was. >> It was fun to say. >> No. No, no, no. No, no, that's not what. I'm saying. It's just that Yeah, it It. seemed um. I think with Samuel Jackson, wasn't the. studio have been weird?
I think there needs to be like, you know. what I mean? Oh, well, Sam's fine with. it. >> There's two ways to look at it. >> Okay. That's his quote. >> He said, "I hope the publicity you're. getting from 132 different media outlets. writing your name and printing your. picture was worth disrespecting me in a. film I remember quite clearly you were. thrilled to be a part of." The. writer-director wrote in his statement. addressed directly to. >> Arquette. >> Wow. >> Um here's what's interesting. Two ways. to look at this. And let's get some. let's get some honest perspective from. the booth as well then. >> Yeah. >> Especially from filmmaker over there. >> Yeah, yeah. >> If the calls for the character in almost.
anything that we've ever made in the. world of art and film, if we're going to. believe that this is the world in a. vacuum, >> Mhm. >> if it calls for the character to use. certain language, it lines up. When Leo. went off, right? It was disgusting, but. that was the character. >> You mean in Django Unchained? >> Yeah. >> No. >> In what? Leo? >> In Titanic. WHEN HE YELLS N-WORD. >> OH, YEAH. I REMEMBER THAT. >> YEAH. >> Right when he drowns, HE SAYS IT. >> YEAH.
>> YOU GOT TO TURN it up, but he says the. N-word right when he. >> WHAT. WHAT HE'S LIKE, "GOODBYE, ROSE." AND. THEN SAYS THE N-WORD. >> He says, I remember that. Yeah. Yeah. >> No, dude. In Django, he says it it's. very appropriate for the character. It's. atrocious to hear, but. >> Yeah. >> what what Tarantino was doing was. showing how vitriol and disgusting these. people were. It was brilliant. It made. you loathe a guy that we love. It was. perfect. The argument that many people. have made is. this man. it didn't really fit.
the character. It was very odd. It was. almost inserted in a way where you go, "This guy lives in the valley, as we. know. He's got a wife. He's friends with. these guys, so he's obviously a little. bit of a. up-to-no-gooder. >> Yeah. >> seem it's it it is true that it doesn't. quite fit the character. >> Yeah, because Leo in. Django is a plantation, you know what I. mean? >> Own He's a slave owner. >> He's a slave owner, and he would say it, right? >> Yeah. >> But a guy that lives in Sherman Oaks.
>> also said. >> A GUY WHO LIVES IN SHERMAN OAKS, RIGHT? Who has a. Does he have a black wife? >> black. >> Yes. >> Yeah, Bonnie's black, right? So, maybe. that. >> Bill Burr. >> I don't know. >> know. >> That's an interesting. >> Burr say it? >> I'm I How about this? I bet YOU HE. DOESN'T. >> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. >> I BET HE DOESN'T. >> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. >> I understand the argument where you're. like, "If things are called contextually for a. character. >> Yeah. >> yes. >> Yes. >> But that character wasn't really that.
>> Right, right, right, right, right. >> So, look, does she need to talk about it. publicly? No. But also, we've all. thought it. We've all been like, "Ooh, that was weird." When he said it, you're. like, "Whoa.". >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> Because I have that sign outside of my. house. >> Yeah. Like last night. >> That fits me. >> Yeah, but last night I saw Chappelle. Lacey at Swingers, right? >> He is always at Swingers. >> He's always there. >> HE'S THERE EVERY NIGHT. EVERY NIGHT. EVERY NIGHT. EVERY NIGHT. EVERY NIGHT. EVERY NIGHT. >> And he gets that chicken sandwich.
>> CAREFUL. >> NO, I MEAN IT'S NOT FRIED. >> OKAY. >> OH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, IT'S. IT'S not fried. Yeah, yeah, he gets that. like just like that, you know, >> I know. >> grilled chicken sandwich. >> Yeah, the same sandwich. He loves that. sandwich. >> Every night. >> But it's it's as if. >> You know what I mean? I said it to him. last night. >> Why? >> No, what I'm saying is that in it. >> WHY DID YOU SAY IT? >> SAY IT. WELL, I didn't say it. What I'm. saying is is that how casually he says. it to you in the movie, right? He's like.
even if you're with your black friend, you wouldn't casually say that. >> No, you wouldn't. >> No, you wouldn't. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> You know where you would say. >> You want to say it. >> Yeah. >> Yeah, you want to say it, but you. wouldn't casually do it. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know where you you. you know You know when you say it in. front of your black friend? >> When? >> Never. >> Exactly. >> Yeah. >> Yeah, you never say it. >> Yeah, you don't. >> Yeah, you never say it. >> I got a fan like a fan to my fan page or. is that or the girl that helps the book. uh the show?
>> Go back one. Just go back. >> Sorry. >> Okay. >> I got an email through the team from. like a fan or something. >> Go further back. >> Okay. >> I'm kidding. >> My My dad ran out on my mom and I. >> Okay. All right. >> No, I got an email from like a fan page. thing or something and it is a request. for you and I. >> Mhm. >> to perform at a wedding. And now. immediately I was like, no, I'm not. going to perform at a wedding. I'm not. going to perform at a wedding. >> I'm out.
>> But how about this? >> I'm out. >> It's the royal family. >> Okay, I'm in. >> No, but as it was But Prince Andrew has. to be there. >> It is. It's his wedding. It's his wedding. >> Oh, it's his wedding. Okay. >> It is very weird. They want us to. perform at a wedding. Clearly, I'm like, "No, we're not going to perform at a. wedding." But, the thought of it was so. funny that you want this beautiful. special moment. I was just in my car. laughing like, "You want this beautiful. special moment of you marrying your wife. and Bobby and I. doing bits?
You want us to do bits at the happiest. moment of your life?". >> Yeah. >> You want Bobby and I. to do a Bobby Mama. to your uncle? Yeah. >> Yeah, it's just so weird. >> No, I would never, but it did make me. laugh. Cuz they did they said it is weird. We. get Okay, we get people to say, "Can we. propose to my wife at your show?". >> Yeah. >> We did that all the time. We let them. propose. But, we've never been asked to. do the wedding, to perform at the. wedding. >> Yeah. >> Kachava. >> You know, it's like I'm trying to lose. weight. I have and Kachava has. completely helped me. It has all the.
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rocketmoney.com/badfriends. >> That's rocketmoney.com/badfriends. rocketmoney.com/badfriends. >> Let me ask you this. Last night um. so you went up. >> Mhm. >> Then Ali went up. >> No, no Ali Yeah, I brought up Ali. >> Ali brought me up, right? >> And she brought me up, great intro, right right. And. you know, you tell a joke, you know, when the guy previous person, right? She. took it well, but some people don't. How.
do you think about that? It's all what I. did was, ladies and gentlemen, you know, Margaret Cho. >> Funny. >> Simple. >> Yeah. >> A simple, right? She turned around, did. a smirk. Yeah, like. right? And she took it well, right? >> Then went to the lot and. slashed your tires. >> Yeah, but I've I've I've given people, you know what I mean, that and they. haven't talked to me for years. >> You well, you well, it depends on the. relationship. >> No, I've had great relationships with. comics where I said something like. I'm not afraid to say it but You know.
what I mean? It wasn't even bad. It was Argus. Hamilton. >> Respect the legend. >> Legend, right? Great hair today. Something like that. IT WAS. IT WASN'T ANYTHING. >> RIGHT. >> RIGHT? You know what I mean? Two years. later he's like I have a resentment. towards you. You know what I mean? My hair looked. good that night. I WAS LIKE. TWO YEARS? >> HE WAS FEELING IT. >> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. >> probably. >> I mean do you say I mean do you do a. little slam slam? >> Uh-uh.
>> You don't? >> Here's why. Unless it's you. If it's. like. >> Oh, you say crazy things. >> Well, but you're a friend. It doesn't I. can't You know what? If it's If it's a. certain people I'll do it. But pretty. rarely. >> Yeah. >> Like because Marin and I went back and. forth for a little while cuz that. he'd give me an intro every. time and be like I tried to be friends. with this guy. We went hiking once. He. never wants to hike with me again. I. don't know if we'll probably never be. friends. Andrew Santino. >> That's still pretty good. >> And I'm like thanks for the. >> that's still pretty good because it. shows relationship. >> but it's not even like a you're going to. like this guy. It's like here he is. >> Yeah. >> You got I pump it up.
>> You got Spade. >> Huh? >> You got Spade the other night. >> What did I say about Spade? Oh, yeah. >> What'd you say? >> Yeah. >> What did you What did you say? What did. you say? What did you say? What did you. say? What did you say? >> What I was like give it up for that guy. What did I say? >> He needs it. >> He needs it. >> That see? >> It crushed. >> It crushed? >> But David loves that kind of stuff. >> He does. He's He's He's great about. stuff like that. Yeah. >> There's certain people that enjoy cuz. they kind of think it's fun. He also if. you saw from He was holding me from. going on stage. >> All right. You do. That's I I I It's a. good fun bit.
>> me from getting on stage and then he. pretends he needs to like talk to me or. something and he's just making you wait. longer and the host is going. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> Get to the stage. >> And I don't know if it's for them or the. host suffering. >> It's both. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think you're having. two people suffer. >> Yeah, it works. >> Cuz the host is always a newer comic and. they don't know what to do. And that's what I like. >> keep going. >> Yeah, yeah. And then sometimes they'll. look at the curtain. See if anyone's back there, right? They. get really nervous. >> Yeah, they do. >> Yeah. I do a 1-minute rule with Ramsey.
Badawi. >> Oh my. >> I go 1 minute. >> What does that mean? >> He doesn't get to go on stage for a. minute after his name is announced. >> 1 minute. >> 1 minute rule. >> Oh my god. >> It's the best. >> Does he tank? That's That's. >> Yes. It's a challenge. >> To dig out of that hole? >> Yeah, yeah, you got to learn. >> You throw him in the well. >> Yeah, you you got to throw him in the. well, dude. >> You go get out. >> Yeah, Buffalo Bill style, dude. >> Put the lotion back. >> Yeah, the nails have to be in the wall. >> All right. >> So, what I do is I'll I'll grab the. wrist. I apologize. I know I realized.
when we Googled it that wrist grabbing. is bad. I won't do it again, right? But. But when I didn't know that, right? I. would grab his wrist. I would close the. green room door, and I'll look right at. him and he'd go, "Come on, Bob.". Right? They're already clapping for him. >> Yeah, they they're waiting. >> How much more? I go, "44 have 5 more. seconds.". >> Oh my god. >> It's great. >> It's so uncomfortable. >> Yeah, and then I'll gradually open the. door. He'll run out there, right? But. sometimes he kills with it. >> Cuz he uses. >> Cuz he he tells the truth. "Bobby locked me in the room for a.
year." Right? Yeah, he'll figure out a. way. >> And that's going to crush. >> Yeah, because they used to do that to me. when I was opening for people. >> did that? >> Men- So, I used to I don't know, but. I've told this before I I mean I've told. this before, but. >> Yeah, Mencia did it. >> Men- Do you remember why though? >> No. >> Yeah, yeah. So, I used to have this bit. where. I would do my hair like this. >> Yeah. >> Right? >> Yeah. >> And I'd go up on stage, right? And I. would And just the look would be funny. >> Right. >> Right? So, I would they would people.
would just laugh, and I would have like. like a. I just stare at the audience like that, right? For like 30 seconds I go, "I'm not really Asian. I just woke up.". And it. >> That's a great bit. >> Dude. I I would crush. >> Yeah. >> Back in the late '90s. >> Oh my god. >> Crushed it. >> Bring that back. >> that that back, right? >> That's so good. >> And then you know what Mencia said one. night? >> What? >> He threw at me a hat. He goes, "You're not doing that bit. again.". >> Why? >> It's a crutch. >> It's a funny joke. >> I know, but he he put a he threw me a.
hat. >> Because did you do it till open every. show? >> Every show. >> Well, that's okay. >> Yeah, every show I would use it, right? And he he thought that it was not. helping me. Right? And so he gave me a hat. I would. have to wear a hat and not do that bit. >> Okay, well, I get what he's doing. >> No, but he's trying to it's about. teaching. >> Yes, you're you're coaching. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> Cuz you got to know you got to know it's. good, but you got to grow. >> Yeah. And that anxiety I I don't know. what I'm teaching with the 1-minute. I DON'T KNOW. I I I KNOW THAT THERE'S A. LESSON THERE SOMEWHERE. >> YEAH. >> I KNOW THERE'S a lesson there somewhere.
I just don't know what it is yet. Yeah, yeah. >> I don't know what it it doesn't matter. He maybe he needs to find out what the. lesson is. Maybe that's on it's on the. student, not the teacher. The teacher. doesn't need to know the. >> doesn't know need to know. The student. >> The student. >> Student must have figured. >> They have figured out the rule, right? Here's another thing I used to do. All right? You have to say Yabba Dabba. Doo. >> Yabba Dabba Doo. >> five times in your set, and you can't. tell the audience why. >> Oh my god. >> It's a great one. >> Just in the middle of it be like, "Well, you know, Yabba Dabba Doo.". >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> And you use it as a filler. So, if you.
go, "And my mom and dad, they do they're. they're moving and Yabba Dabba Doo.". >> Yeah, yeah. >> And so then yeah, you have to throw it. in. >> Yeah, because you know, they used to be. at those those those like hamburger. >> Oh. >> Hamburger. You know, the comic. hamburger. >> Oh, hamburger. >> Yeah, hamburger, right? They used to do. that between jokes. That was their hook. line. Back in the '80s or '90s. >> Yeah. >> they used to have hook lines. Do you. know what I mean? Like you know, "Chicken fried steak." You know what I. mean? Just in the middle of. Just in the middle of nowhere. And the. whole audience would chant it. "Chicken.
fried steak." Right? So, that's what I'm. teaching. >> Right. >> Yabba Dabba Doo is the thing. >> But chicken fried steak is also great. >> Yeah, that is great. But it's a great. line. >> Here's another thing I used to do, right? You have to hopscotch one time. from one end of the stage to the other. and not tell the audience why. >> While you're in the middle of set? >> No, in between jokes. So you know they do a punch line and. then THEY HAVE TO. ACROSS THE STAGE. AND I'M IN no one's. laughing, but I'm I'm in the back of the. room. >> You're laughing. >> OH MY GOD. DUDE.
OH MY GOD. I'M JUST CACKLING. It's so. funny. >> for you. That's for you. >> It's only for me. >> Cuz I've never I don't I got I'm a. boring headliner. I'm like get out there. and have fun. >> No, you got to do challenges. >> I just I'm I'm scared of making them. uncomfortable. I'm nervous that they're. going to be like. >> I think this is back in the day, you. know what I mean? >> Yeah, not now. >> think. >> Yeah, you with Ramsey now. >> Only Ramsey now, but but I'll tell you. why Ramsey I've. he owes me his life. >> Why? >> I've given him everything. >> You've given him a lot of opportunity. >> him a lot of opportunity. We're very.
close. I talked to him last night. We're. good friends. >> You do love him. >> Yeah, so he's not just an opener, he's. now turned into a friend, so I feel like. we can with each other. He. with me as well. >> Well, you know what's next? You're. friends, you might as well be business. partners with him. >> Maybe one day. >> Dude, I watched Soft White Underbelly. >> Yeah, I love them. >> Those are I cannot stop watching them. >> Yeah, some of them are hot, the homeless. girls. >> So many of them. >> Oh my god, I GOT YOU CAN LIVE AT MY. HOUSE FOR FREE. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. >> AND YOU KNOW WHAT THE SOFT WHITE. UNDERBELLY? You know what's crazy about.
this? He'll go back like he'll go back. like 8 9 months later. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. See what they're. doing. >> AND THEY'RE DOING THE SAME THING. >> SAME THING, same thing. Yeah, they like. this girl. >> Beautiful. >> Yeah, yeah. >> Beautiful. >> All she needs to get on is like, you. know, Accutane. >> She just needs to get on Accutane. >> Accutane, look at her face. >> No, buddy, that's a tattoo. >> Oh, that is. Oh, >> It is crazy. >> Yeah, yeah. >> Oh man, that's a good one. Yeah. >> is that a bruise? >> No, she's half panda. She's one of those new hybrids.
>> Yeah. Wow. >> Like like this like this girl like for. instance, if she okay that well, last. girl that you had. This girl's gorgeous. >> Gorgeous, right? You're single, right? >> Yeah. >> Yeah, yeah. I mean. >> If this girl said to me, "Hey, I'm in. the throes of addiction. I live on the. streets. I'm sharing needles with. strangers. I'm sleeping with people for. money.". >> Yeah. >> What do you think? I go, "Come on in.". >> But then your TV is missing. >> So what? >> Oh, yeah, you're right. >> a new TV. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> Get a new TV. >> Right. >> She robs all my friends.
>> And then like late at night, she's in. the bathroom, you hear scratching sounds. for some reason. Like, what is she doing in there? >> Right. We should note. >> Yeah, yeah. >> This is very sad. >> Sad, it's very sad. Very sad. Very. >> No, what it is is we love the interviews. cuz they're powerful as We we get. to see the window into this life of. addiction that is it's dark and. wild and it takes everyone. The point. we're making is addiction knows no. bounds. It doesn't matter where you're. from, what color you are, how much money. you came from. But it's everybody. And then these. interviews are so powerful.
>> Yeah, they're real. Honorable, yeah. >> man. You're like, I can't How can Like. sometimes you'll see a kid who's like 20. years old. >> Yeah. >> And he's like, "I haven't been home. since I was 16." YOU'RE LIKE, "WHY?". >> YEAH, a lot of it's nurture, though. >> It's not nature. >> Yeah. >> It's all nurture. >> I think most of it's nurture. I think. that. you know. >> Well, you don't think that addiction is. nature? >> addiction I think addiction's nature, right? But if you have I know, but if. you have great parents, right? You can. navigate it. >> I I I think so, but I think. >> I think that without my parents, cuz I.
got sober when I was 17, right? My. parents threw me in rehab, a lot, right? >> Yeah. >> And they never stopped caring. They. never stopped trying. >> Yeah, that's important. >> I think that's important. >> But also. >> If you have a broken home, right? Your. parents aren't there. They're in their. own addiction, right? You know what I. mean? You have no money. You know, I mean I mean these things. >> It's a layered effect. >> It's a layered effect. Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> And it And it gets harder and harder. >> Yeah. >> Well, I'm happy that you're sober. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But what I My. point is is that it's more It's a. combination of both. >> It is. >> Sweating.
>> Yeah, why are you sweating, though? >> Because of the um. >> I know. withdrawal. >> Withdrawal. Okay, so how much is the. What What is you What's the in intake of. nicotine now? How much? >> I don't know. I This one is six. >> How many pouches a day? >> Six mg, it's probably three. >> Three a day? >> Yeah. >> That's not that bad. >> I mean, I guess what do I know, but I. feel like that's not that bad. I feel. like the average has got to be way. higher. >> Yeah. >> Oh, you'll be proud of me. Last night I. was laying in bed. and I put away my phone cuz I was. thinking about our screen time. conversation. >> Mhm. >> And so I put it away. >> Mhm. >> and I didn't touch it until.
made coffee in the morning, walked the. dog dropped a deuce, played with the dog. in the backyard. Then when I was finally. done with that, made a little snacky. breakfast, and then I picked up my. phone. >> You know, um I love you, and I know. we're business partners and friends. I. think that's a lie. >> Why? >> Because last night you sent me a Tik Tok. video. >> What time? What time? >> Let me see what time you took it send. it. >> Well, I prob I wasn't in bed yet. >> No, no, hold on, hold on, hold on. >> I wasn't in bed yet. >> Okay, let me just see. Let me just see. >> What time? >> Let me see. So, uh there you.
uh. >> What time? >> Hold on, I got to go down because I got. to Oh, there you go. I go hahaha. So, time was at What So, what time did you. say you you put your phone down? >> When I went to bed. >> Yeah, what time? >> 1:30. >> That's when you put you put your phone. down. >> 1:30 or 2:00 in the What No, 12:30 or. 1:00. Maybe that Maybe it's closer to. 1:00. >> Okay, 12:15 you sent it. >> Okay, so that What do you mean? >> Okay, you're right. >> Yeah. >> Okay. >> I I don't go to bed. >> I thought it was much later, right? Because I was like, he's texting me he's. You know what I mean? Sending me a. >> No, I was on the couch with the dog.
>> That show what you sent me or. >> It's one of the funniest. Well, I was on the couch with the dog. what scrolling through my phone. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> because she had to get up early. >> Yeah. >> And so when I sleep, I sleep in the. other room cuz she's got to get up. early. >> Mhm. >> So, I'm sitting on my phone, playing. with the dog, and then I said, I know. what I'm going to do. I'm going to brush. my teeth, and I'm going to lay in bed. and just stay on my phone. >> Mhm. >> But I didn't. I left the phone. But that. is one of the last texts I sent. Show. them the video. They you can send it. >> Text it to Carlin. >> Text it to Carlin. >> Okay. >> Play the Play this video. I So, here I. am sitting on the couch. >> Yeah. >> petting the dog, Tik Tok-ing away before. I go to bed, and I see this video and I.
think Bobby's got to see this right. away. This is what he sent to at midnight. >> Here's what I don't even know what's. going on really to be honest with you.
>> They don't either. >> Okay. >> This is. >> Yeah, yeah. >> She's singing a song and having her. daughter or sister sing along. >> Yeah, yeah. >> I just think the. >> But what's THE FUNNY PART? YOU SEND CRAZY STUFF. YOU. >> WHAT? >> YEAH, you send the most wild dude. >> Guys with no heads. >> Yeah, but that's unbelievable. HOW ARE. THEY LIVING? >> I was I was impressed by her talent. >> Is this Did she post this? And if she did, what was the goal? >> Yeah. >> So, I'm thinking what am I supposed to.
feel? >> Yeah. >> That's why the internet's beautiful. You. interpret it as you may. >> thing I would like to add is is that the. little one feels like doesn't want to be. there. >> No, yeah. It's forced. >> It's for clicks. >> It's forced. >> Yeah, yeah. >> Yeah, go go to It just zoom in on the. girl the whole time. >> Is Excuse me, Sabrina, do you want to do. a video? No, no. >> Zoom in is causing. >> That joke sucked. >> No, it's good. >> That joke was bad. >> It was good. >> Yeah, yeah, I'm sweating, dude. >> let's see. >> Yeah, yeah. >> Let's zoom in on her, start it all over. again, and let's just see her from the.
beginning and just go to her face. >> You're right. >> It She doesn't want to be there. >> She does not. >> It's a hostage situation. >> a hostage. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> And they put the dog in the background. to give people some semblance of normal. >> see the dog. Where's the dog? >> Watch it go to her right there. >> I don't even see the dog. >> Right there. >> Yeah, where? >> to watch the video again? >> What? Oh, there is the dog. Yeah, yeah. What a cute dog.
>> Huh? >> The dog has like. eight eyes or something on its forehead. >> Oh, maybe this is AI. >> I It could be AI. >> Is AI getting me all the time and I. don't even know half. >> AI is so crazy, dude. Do you Do you. think models are in trouble. because of AI? >> Uh. Well, I know why you're asking that. >> Why are you asking? >> Because on Instagram. >> I mean, why am I asking? >> Because on Instagram. >> Sometimes I don't know. >> I've seen I know. >> Do you? >> Well, you've sent me some of the girls. that you're questioning.
>> Yeah, yeah. I go, "Is this real?". >> Real or no? >> Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. >> "No, it's not." But it is funny, some of. them are so They're so good at copying. real influencers that I you don't know. cuz How about this? The real influencers. are putting so many filters on, they. look AI now. >> Exactly. >> So it's like a hat on a hat. Yeah, they all look fake. >> They look yeah. >> So the fakes look more real than the. fake than people It's. >> I think filters should be illegal on. dating apps. >> That is a very good point. >> I know, I'm being real. >> No, no, no. There is an app that does.
that. There's a There's There's one that. you. it can't use makeup and stuff. There's. like a. >> Oh. >> Mhm. >> What is that one? Someone talked to me. about There's There's a dating app where. people are like in the raw or something. Yeah, real? Is that what it's called? >> I don't know. >> Whatever. >> Yeah. >> But Bobby Lee's new app is going to be. no makeup, no. >> How you can wear makeup? >> No, no filters, no. >> Yeah, yeah, but but filters are. >> Let me see you first thing in the. morning. Do your hair and do your face. again. >> What? >> Your hair and your face again. >> Okay, okay, here we go. >> This is your date This should be There.
should be a dating app where everybody. looks like this. That would be amazing. >> Amazing. >> The first thing in the morning. >> Yeah, yeah. First thing in the morning. >> First thing in the morning. >> First thing in the morning, dude. >> Dude, that's the app. >> First thing in the morning. >> We No, I'd get no matches. >> That's not our problem. >> That's not our problem. Yeah, yeah, >> It's your problem. You can stay on here. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stay on the thing. >> That's where there's AI, by the way. I. get fooled by Hinge AI girls. >> That's what I just said, it should be. illegal. >> Thank you. I I did I NOT. >> YOU'RE WELCOME.
>> I'LL VOTE FOR YOU THEN. >> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. >> WELL, if you'd like to get on our app. first thing in the morning, it's all. natural, it's completely verified by. humans to make sure you're human. You. have to call our call center to verify. that you're human. >> But I'm going to be working at the call. center. >> Correct. >> Okay. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> And you can reap some of the benefits. You can go, "Hey, you know, I work at. the call center. So, if you want to wear. makeup and not wear your first photo.". Corrupt it. Corrupt the system. Something has to corrupt it. >> Give me a blue check mark kind of thing. >> validate them. >> I'm being real, that's a good idea. >> First thing in the morning is awesome. >> A dating app? >> Yeah.
>> That's a really good that's genius. >> Because it will force people to go, "Don't try to look good for this first. thing in the morning photo. We will call. you out.". >> Yeah. >> So, first thing in the morning is the. app that Bob and I are creating. It's a. dating app where you take a photo. >> Right right when you. >> Every photo is right in the morning. >> Right in the when the morning. By the. way, >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> you're allowed to every day you're. allowed to update or change that photo. Like, let's say you don't like it, you're allowed to change every You can. leave it in perpetuity, but you can keep. >> you you can take as many photos as you. want and choose. >> No, no, no, no. >> What? >> I like the idea of your profile photo is.
you, right? First thing in the morning. >> Yeah. >> If you want to change it, you have to. wait a full day. So, once you upload it, that's got to stay. >> Yeah, yeah. >> And you can leave it for a few days if. you want. >> dating apps, you need five or six on. your page. >> No, no, the joke of first thing in the. morning is this. >> It's not a joke, it's a real app. Sorry. >> Yeah. >> Shopify. >> Here at Bad Friends, we have an online. business, and without Shopify, I don't. think we would have this online. business. >> very lost. >> Get started with your own design studio. I think that's what I'm. I'm trying to say. With hundreds of with. ready-to-use templates, Shopify helps. you build a beautiful online store,
Andrew, that matches your brand style. It's all about style. >> style. >> Hooking people in. >> That's right. Well, cuz you want to. embody whatever you're selling or. putting out to the world, it has to be. what you are and what you're selling. And Shopify is your commerce expert with. world-class expertise in everything from. managing inventory to international. shipping to processing returns and much. more beyond that. Shopify helps all. businesses of all size. >> what if I get stuck? Shopify's always. around. They're always around to share. advice and their award-winning 24/7. customer support.
>> You can tackle all those important tasks. in one place from inventory to payments. to analytics and so much more. >> Talk about the purple button. >> Did we mention that purple button, Bobby? Cuz that purple Shop Pay button, it's used by millions of businesses. around the world. It's why Shopify has. the best the best converting checkout on. the planet. It also helps boost. conversions, meaning less carts are. going to go abandoned and more sales for. you. >> It's time to turn those what ifs into. ching with Shopify today. >> You can sign up for your $1 per month. trial today at shopify.com/badfriend.
>> shopify.com/badfriend. >> it right from my friend. That's. shopify.com/badfriends. >> Blue chew. I'm 54 years old, all right? And I'm going to say something right. this right now. And I'm not You know, embarrassed to admit it. It's harder for. me to get up. >> Upstairs? >> Yeah, upstairs, right? And sometimes you. want to go upstairs when when the time. is right, right? >> is right, you want to go upstairs. >> I mean, you find a lover, right? And I'm. telling you right now and I 100% endorse. Blue Chew. It saved me. >> You love it. >> I love it so much. Right, Carlos? >> Oh, yeah. >> Yeah, it's the best. >> It's time to level up and Blue Chew just.
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bluechew.com for more details and. important safety information. And we. thank Bluechew for sponsoring the. podcast and helping Bobby stay rock. hard. >> Talkspace therapy is so important, guys. Every Thursday at 4:00, I do therapy, all right? Talkspace is the number one. rated online therapy bringing you. professional support from licensed. therapists and psychiatrists that you. can access anytime, anywhere. >> Here's the thing, man. We all need to talk to somebody. >> Yeah. >> You know, I I I don't think you should. keep anything bottled up. And sometimes. it's hard to talk to your partner.
Sometimes it's hard to talk to your. parents or your friends. You just kind. of want to get it off your chest to a. uh, you know, a just a non-partisan. party. And uh, Talkspace makes help uh, convenient for you. You can take these. appointments from anywhere you are, your. car, your house, your your tub, your. backyard. It doesn't matter. They give. high-quality care that's backed by. science. >> Yeah, like I I think it changed my life. And also with my therapist, you know. what I mean? I can talk to somebody, you. know what I mean? About what's going on, you know what I mean? And dealing with. your trauma and whatnot. I think.
Talkspace is so important. >> Well, Talkspace makes getting help you. need easy, accessible, and affordable. Plus, most insured members have a $0. copay. So, you got to try it. As a. listener to this podcast, you're going. to get $80 off your first month with. Talkspace when you go to. talkspace.com/badfriends. and enter promo code SPACE80. >> That's SPACE80, s p a c e a d to match. with a licensed therapist today. Go to. talkspace.com/badfriends. and enter promo code SPACE80. Why do you want to make it a joke? >> Cuz it is a joke.
>> It's a Def Jam. You know what I mean? >> Yeah, I kind of do. >> Yeah, no, no, no. We do it I'm being. real. >> Okay. >> We make a real app. >> First thing in the morning. >> Cuz first thing in the morning where. it's just natural pictures of people. where people really know who what you. look like. >> But the problem I have is if you let. them upload multitudes of photos, they. are going to try to manipulate those to. look better as time goes. So that's my. point. If you have one photo, that's all. you get, that's who how you engage, that's more interesting to me to go. that's the one thing I have to work. with. Let me go from there. Otherwise,
people are going to try to make those. other photos look better. They're going. to they're going to find a way to look. as sexy as they can first thing in the. morning. >> Yeah, but you can rep. >> You just have to upload one a day. >> One a day. >> It goes into your life. >> That's what I'm saying. So you upload. every day. You have to upload every day. >> And you can keep the one that you like. three days ago and share and not upload. Pin it. You can pin it. >> pin it. >> pin it. All right, good, good. Yeah, yeah. >> And then what's the. >> How do how do you start it? >> We'll get an app guy. By the way, there's an app guy listening. to our pod developing it as we speak.
>> Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> And he's like, got it. I'm going to make. a billion dollars. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> We should hire someone to develop that. app. >> Yeah. >> First thing in the And we've talked. about it too much. >> Yeah. >> YEAH. SO AI. >> I HONESTLY THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA. >> It's a very good idea. >> Yeah. Do you think it's a good idea? >> Natural. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because we we've been. deceived. You know what I mean? >> How about this one? >> deceiving you? >> No, no, no. You like roll up to a house. and you see them walking out of the. house and you just drive away. >> That's happened, but I've gone That's. happened before. >> I've gone out with them. I don't Me too. I've done that, too. >> Horrible.
>> Yeah. Come on in. >> Now, I see these stories online. >> WAKA WAKA WAKA. >> WHAT DO YOU MEAN STAR STAR WARS AI. MOVIE? >> WAKA WAKA WAKA. >> HOW COME I SEE THESE stories online of. so many of these women being stood up on. these dates? Is this though? Is. this Cuz I see these TikToks. or these Instagram reels of people being. like, I got stood up again and I'm like. >> I don't know. >> happening that much? >> Mhm. >> But I feel like it's happening the other. way. >> Yeah. are standing up dudes, for sure.
You've been stood up. >> Twice. I've stood up more girls than. not. So I've actually done it. >> Oh really? >> I've done it through scheduling. I've. done it. >> Yeah, flaking, yeah. >> No, not flaking. I just scheduling. >> What do you mean schedule? What's the. difference? >> Like something comes up, like you know. >> Oh, a fake thing. >> I got a one more dating app for us. >> Oh, give me another one. >> Um. I don't feel so good. That's what it's. called. I don't feel so good. >> You see them at their worst. >> And when they're sick. >> Oh, that's a good one. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> I don't feel so good. >> Yeah. >> So the whole the the purpose.
>> Well, let's go all the way. >> Yeah. >> Diseases, too. >> Diseases. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Can you take a look at this? That's what. it's called. Does this look bad to you? Does this. look bad to you? Tumors. Tumors. Tumors website. Do you have tumors? I do too. Tumors. Uh honestly, I I think I'm a I think a a. sick one where where the photos of you. are when you have been very sick or very. It's very funny. Cuz what you look like. when you're sick, that's the.
That's way worse than first thing in the. morning. Cuz when you're sick, you look the. worst. >> Yeah. I don't know. I don't I don't know Yeah, yeah. I think. Yeah. >> I know. I'm experimenting. >> I know you are. FIRST THING IN the. morning. >> I'm an app developer. >> Oh, yeah, yeah. First Yeah, first All. right. >> First thing in the morning we'll take. We'll do first thing in the morning. Someone is doing it. You know that. What's up, dog? >> Is that All Saints? What are you wearing. there, Mike? >> Oh, see he's interested in the clothes. already. >> like the shirt? >> Yeah, I I like the fit cuz I don't This. is my merch. >> Oh, this is your merch? >> Yeah. >> Really good fit, dude. >> Thank you, bro.
>> The pants, too? >> Uh this is Puma. >> Oh. >> Puma and nothing but Puma and then the. shirt says buildings don't fall like. that. >> Yeah. Wow. >> is just a fun. >> 9/11. >> You get it. >> Yeah, yeah. You got YouTube, buddy. >> I'm a YouTube guy, dude. >> You know buildings don't fall like that, dude. >> I think it's important to talk about. >> And laugh about it. Now, first of all, it used to be funny. Now it's just too. true. >> Yeah. >> Yeah, yeah. >> It was too much people know. >> We found out all the conspiracy theories. turned out to be real. >> QAnon is was correct on almost. everything they predicted. >> Nailed it. >> Pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza.
>> Honestly, I was I was nailing the last. 12 years hammered drunk at most bars. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. You were telling. people the truth. >> Now I'm like I'm calling people like. dude, I was right the whole time. >> Yeah, yeah. I'm still on your fit. though. >> Yeah. >> You like the fit. >> He loves the fit. >> The shoes. >> Puma also. >> Yeah, yeah. White, brand new. >> Uh no, I keep them clean. I got some. dirt I got the same ones dirty. >> Yeah, yeah. You look good today, man. >> Thank you, bro. Yeah. >> You know what is. >> Insinuating I look bad most days? >> No, not No, THAT'S NOT TRUE. >> I'M SORRY. >> NO, NO, NO. THAT'S WHAT I WAS. INSINUATING. Is that the word? >> It is.
>> Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> Yeah. >> I was just saying I was giving you a. compliment. >> bro. >> How nice you look today. >> Thank you. >> That's all it was, you know. >> Cincinnati's finest. Cincinnati, right? >> Oh, yeah. >> Cincinnati. >> Yeah, we're a couple of Midwest boys. that attended a great university in the. desert. >> That's right, dude. >> Phoenix. >> Mhm. Arizona State. Go Devils. >> That's his That's his mother That's his. mother's home now. >> Really? What are her prospects? >> Tell me. >> If I was going to focus on one of the. windows in the home, which would I. >> That's a good one. >> Thank you. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> You're like Asian ladies? >> You know what? I got one in the crib. right now. >> You really? Your girlfriend's Asian?
>> Yeah. >> Do I know her? >> No, she's I don't date other comics. I. try not to. I I don't. I actually act. up. >> Is she full blooded or half? >> Do I know her? >> You know what? Honestly. >> Mike, I SEE MIKE AT THE COMEDY shows all. the time. >> I know you guys all know each other. >> You're right, I'm right. So you know. what I mean? There could have. >> You know what? We live close to your. hood. I live by K-Town, so. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> I drive home sometime and just We don't. know each other too well, but I'm always. like what if I just turned and saw Bobby. Lee just getting a handy in the alley? >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> In K-Town. >> It's more likely he's over there eating.
Korean barbecue. >> Barbecue, yeah. >> Which isn't that the same thing. sometimes. >> It is. >> Is she full blooded or half? >> She is full blooded. She is not your. This is my first of all, she's not. Korean. I want to say that. >> That's fine. >> Yeah, which is but which I love because. Yeah. >> We love that. >> I went more because you guys are like. elite Asians. >> That's right. >> that again? >> elevated Asian. >> say that again, please? >> You're elite Asian. You're aware of. this, right? There's a There are. rankings. The Asians know. >> Is she Chinese? >> No. She's That's also not. >> She's Filipino.
Filipino. >> No. You're in the You're Stay on land. >> Laotian. >> Stay on land. You're getting closer. >> Thai. >> There was a There was a Yeah, give us a. hint. Yeah, there was a similar war to. Korea. >> Cambodian. >> Brother, you You don't know. This is tough. Do you know what. >> You went straight to Cambodia? >> I teamed up there. There was a similar. war. >> Stay Stay in Stay in the game. >> Cambodian, no. >> No, all right, good. Let's stay in the game. All right. All. right. All right. We did Family Feud. We. lost to Flavor Flav.
>> First of all, that was rigged. That was. rigged. >> Okay, that's what you're dealing with, though, okay? >> Yeah. >> Not Laotian. >> Wait, what did I. >> Not Cambodian. >> Not Thai. >> You said Thai, Filipino, Chinese. >> us another hint, please. >> Um phenomenal um. culinary stuff, really good, and uh. Like a huge a huge. >> Vietnam Vietnam. >> Yes. Yes. A very like a very popular. dish, yes. >> Is it Vietnamese? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Now, that wasn't much of a war. >> Brother, I think we won. >> Yeah. >> You know, I like to tell people that. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah.
>> And that's why I always say, our. relationship, if it ends, I'm going to. tell everybody I won. >> We won. What's your favorite Vietnam movie, you. think? >> My favorite rom-com is Hamburger Hill. I. stick around for the I stick around for. the blue dress at the end. No, I don't. know. I probably like uh I mean, they're. all pretty depressing. There's none that. are like. um What's the Full Metal Jacket? >> It's Full Metal Jacket. >> So funny. >> Jacket. Yeah, it's a good. >> Full Metal Jacket might be one of the. best movies of all time. >> You think? >> That's a tough That's a bold I. >> I love that movie. >> It's such a It's such a Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I that I'm fine with that. It's.
Kubrick. >> It's a dark, beautiful movie. It's a It. says a lot. >> And then I'm like almost I'm 39, so when. I watched that movie growing up, that. was such a the first time you see a. movie where you're like, "Yo, what the. was that?" Like halfway through. you're like, "What? There's more movie?". >> Oh yeah. Oh yeah, yeah. I'm not joining. the military. >> Yeah. >> Oh my god. >> the Midwest, so you know. >> I I know, but when when you when I saw. that as a kid, I was like, "I don't. think I'm going to join the military.". The first half of Full Metal Jacket, you're like, "I can't deal with that.". >> Yeah. >> Screaming? >> Yeah, no. >> Yeah, yeah. Me waking up at a CERTAIN. HOUR? >> GET UP, YOU LITTLE PIECE OF.
>> YEAH, IT'S 2:00 P.M. >> HOW CLOSE WERE YOU TO JOINING THE. MILITARY OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL? >> I wasn't, but I'm like, that's what I. say about the Midwest. You either leave. the Midwest at 18 you're dying in the. Middle East. >> Yeah. >> Um. >> Right. >> It's true. Real good slogan. >> Yeah. That's the That's my other merch. >> Yeah, yeah. >> It's in camouflage, so it doesn't hit as. hard. >> Midwest people that a lot of our. friends, yeah. I think like they go for. the Midwest first. >> Yeah, we're easy. I think that we are. very American, proud to be American. >> Yes. >> Um so, I say I didn't go, but a lot of.
my good friends joined. Couple of homies. passed away. And. I know. Yeah, that's what Honestly, that. was my origin origin comedy stories. My. buddy passed away when I was 21. I was. like, I hit the family up. I was like, "Yo, I got to speak at his funeral." I. had the preacher crying and laughing. And that was the first time I was like, "Yo, I can do something with this.". >> Yeah. >> If I got people cracking up at a. funeral. >> Yeah. >> Uh because I was 21 and that nobody. knows. anybody more at that age than your. friends. You know You know what I mean? Your. parents and your family don't know you.
>> My my dog died last Saturday. Maybe you. should have showed up. >> Yeah, I would I would have crushed. >> Chuckle cry. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> Well, super funny. >> First of all, I told the story I told. the story the other night about you. flirting with the vet tech that came to. put your dog to rest. I mean, that's amazing. That the guy's. dog is dying and the vet comes and he's. he's trying to. >> He timed out the blue chew snort at a. bad time. He's like, "Daddy's rock hard.". "You took the wrong pill.". >> "Goodbye, Remy. Hello, Mommy.".
>> He's insane. >> Hey, we all mourn differently. >> That's exactly right. That's But I gave. him credit. You're vulnerable. >> Yeah. As a California boy, do you think. I'm a. >> Uh I don't think I know. Um. >> Facts. >> You think I am though? You think I'm a. little weaker in my strand? >> Because you're California? >> Yeah, yeah. I'm San Diego boy, LA most. of my life, Southern California. >> generalization of my world view is yes. >> You Oh, you think that I'm. >> That that this is just cuz you're from. SoCal often times but.
>> was from SoCal and he was Mexican, different different story. >> Different stuff. >> East LA? >> No East LA in you. >> Uh uh I'll go what do I have in me? >> You've got You've got a lot of Garden. Grove some Garden Grove in you, maybe. some OC. You've got some. nice Anaheim areas in you. >> Boboa? There's some Boboa in my story. >> He's a lot more Montebello. You know. what I mean? >> Yeah. >> He doesn't know he's rocking. When he. starts rocking. >> This is deep SoCal. >> Don't come a knocking, dude. This guy,
he'll go nuts. >> I'll go nuts on you guys. Snap, dude. Anyway, yeah, there's some suburb in me, too. >> Sure. >> Mall life, mall life. >> A lot of mall life. >> Oh, I like You know what? I'm I'm not. above mall life. Good people watching. >> San Diego. >> think in a war No, I think he started. something with me. >> I'll go Yeah, him up. >> You You think in a war like situation I. am much older than you are. >> Much. >> Yeah, yeah, but you think. >> They're not recruiting you. >> Yeah, yeah. Not now. >> Sure. >> Yeah, but back in my day, we're the same.
age, you think that you would stand You. you you would be tougher and more. resilient in a war like situation. >> Yeah. >> Um yeah, I mean, dude, I used to crush. laser tag. >> Oh, right, right, yeah. Okay, good, good. >> I could dodge and stuff like that. >> I did the number one VR boom boom I mean. the sandbox. The last one I got number one, but I was. with you know what I mean, Jules and. them. Yeah, but maybe you're right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> This guy. he'll cheat in an escape room. He's so. clever. He's good. >> Yeah, I'll do it twice and then take a.
date on it. And go, "Oh, no, this is how you do it.". >> But that's what's so good about you is. that's why Bobby would be good in. wartime. He would find a way. >> I'd find a way to live and survive. >> It's selfish, though. >> So what? >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> It depends on your perspective on what's. good at work. Kills or survival? >> You're surviving. >> I always thought that in a war movie, right? >> You and I would be dead. >> We'd be dead. Yeah, yeah. >> But we'd get a couple kills. >> 100%. I get no kills, but your dead. bodies would I'd be you'd be on me.
>> Yeah. >> I always thought that? >> You would PULL ME OVER YOU. >> right I would just two dead bodies and. just pretend I'm dead like that. >> I'd die in a murder-suicide, dude. I'd. kill a guy and be like, "Dude, I can't I. can't go on." Like my legs would be. blown off and and I'd get a few hits and. then be like, "I got to get out.". I can't go on. >> But in a Forrest Gump situation, you. know what I mean? My legs blown off, would you come and get me and drag me or. not? >> I would get you. You'd seem the most. carriable. >> That's a very good You're a thinker. >> Well, this is post-Walgreens. Yes. >> Post-Walgreens, yes. >> Yes, pre-Walgreens, a little bit harder. A little bit harder.
>> Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> Speaking of which, that Tom Hanks threw. me I saw on the this morning. um Jim Irsay, the old owner of the Colt. Colts. >> Sure. >> You're a big football You're a big. football fan. >> Yeah, yeah. >> Um he sold you're going to love this, dude. You're going to blow This is going. to blow your mind. He had the biggest. collection of. a sports and uh whatever memorabilia. that you've ever seen in your life. He. has a a guitar of Hendrix. He's. got Dylan's guitar. He's got This guy. had Look at this collection and I. brought They saw It's all It's up for. live auction now.
Oh, dude. The collection this guy had is. so unbelievable. >> Yeah. >> It's going to blow He's got the lyrics. of Hey Jude handwritten by. McCartney. I mean. >> Really? >> The collection is explore the 3D space. I want to or. or whatever. Go through it. Let me. >> got John's passive-aggressive. corrections on there, too. >> Exactly. >> That's a deep Beatles cut. >> That's for all the people that watched. all four episodes. >> so good. But look Look that. >> Wow. >> Uh hold on. hold on. Oh, wait. There we go. >> Yeah.
>> So, a lot of rock and roll. But, not No, but dude, he had he had Ali Ali's robe. that he wore out. >> Wow. >> Oh, really? >> Hunter S. Thompson, uh, that's Hunter S. Thompson's car. >> Oh, wow. >> That's amazing. >> That's the saddle from, uh, what's the horse that won That's the. That's the script. >> Secretariat? >> Secretariat. That's the That's the. original script that Rocky was written. in. That That. >> Dude, incredible, dude. >> He You know, so so Stallone probably. wrote it on a typewriter. And then wrote it down just be like, "You know what I did?". >> Jack Kerouac's type script scroll of of.
on the road. Kerouac's book on the road. on typewriter. >> Wow. >> That's a weird one, I think. >> Yeah, yeah. >> No, that's amazing. That book is so. good, man. >> Amazing. >> This guy's got so like this is the kind. of but I I met Yeah, Gretzky's. jersey from his 500th goal. >> Keep going. The guy The. >> That's a lot of value there, too. >> It's a lot of value there. >> I think they said the. I Some of it is you can't price it. Oh, this is the one that you would have. loved, too. >> Which one? >> Smells like Teen Spirit, Kurt's guitar. from Smells Like Teen Spirit. >> Yeah, really? >> The actual guitar. >> From like the video or like. >> From the video. From the video. From the.
video. From the video, right? >> Johnny Cash's, uh, D-21 acoustic. >> Yeah. >> I don't know if I had the money that I. would do that. >> If you had his money. >> Yes, you would. >> No, I wouldn't. >> Bobby, the guy was worth billions. What. are you going to do with it? You of all people love music You. wouldn't go buy Cobain's left-handed. Fender Mustang? >> How much is it? >> It's It's not priced on there. It's a. bit It's forbidden. Oh, wait, there it. is. >> Estimate is crazy. Is that 2 to 5 mil? >> 2.5 to 5 It's either 2.5 million to 5. million. That's a big gap.
>> think maybe Yeah, you're right. That one. I would. >> You would? >> You know, I want specific things. >> Clapton's The Fool Gibson. Look at how. >> Yeah, but like Janis Joplin's toenail, I. don't know, like $5. Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> Okay, if you had unlimited. If you had unlimited funds, Mike, what. would you buy? >> I would do some weird Like I'm a big. hip-hop guy, but I don't know. I'd like. get the MPC player that Dilla did some. stuff on maybe or something like that. Or like some Tribe Called Quest I. don't know. Like I'm a huge. >> Low End Theory, good album. >> A great album. >> You know what I always You know what I. always thought that I would love? People's Instinctive Travels too, by the.
way. >> Yeah. >> You know what I always thought I would. love? The carpets that are in recording. rooms that go underneath the musical. instruments to muffle the sound. >> Yeah. >> I want one of those carpets from someone. powerful. >> Oh, that's cool. >> in my house. Cuz Cuz these things they. sit on a shelf and I think this I'd want. the carpet to be my carpet in my. house. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> You know what? I want the carpet from. the Menendez killings. In their parents' bedroom? >> Yeah, with the blood. >> Yeah, yeah, I've always wanted that. How. much is that? >> I want the duvet cover. It's beautiful. Beautiful stuff. >> Miles Davis's trumpet. I mean, get. >> I I don't know what I like. The sports.
stuff too. And then I'm a big movie guy. Wouldn't you like like things from. movies? >> Or like what's something from a famous. film that like moved you or that like. >> gun that Vincent D'Onofrio blasts his. head off 20 minutes into Full Metal. >> That's awesome. >> That'd be That's a fun. >> That'd be That's a fun one. >> That'd be a fun one. >> That's a fun one. >> That is actually a weird one. >> That is very good. >> I went immediately dark, but pretty fun. >> I I got one. >> Oh, yeah. >> Like you know what I mean? "We're. walking here." That car that he slapped. >> OH, THE TAXI? >> WELL, MIDNIGHT COWBOY, RIGHT? >> MIDNIGHT COWBOY. >> "HEY, WE'RE walking here." You know what. I mean? That car I'd buy. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> You know what else you got?
>> $100. >> He had the original. He had the original uh volleyball from. Cast Away, WILSON. >> NO. >> HE HAD WILSON. >> REALLY? >> That's yeah. He has some movie stuff in. there that was pretty cool. >> That's pretty cool. >> Like the Oh you know, I showed you the. photo. And I think we can say it. It doesn't. matter, but over at Spade's house I got. emotional cuz in the hallway. >> Oh, yeah. >> he has Farley's jacket. >> Oh, that'd be. >> And it dude, it's even looking at it. >> What What jacket? Like a little coat. jacket or what?
>> No, a jacket when he was 3 years old. >> That one, right? >> that jacket. >> The Tommy Boy jacket. >> Tommy Boy jacket. >> Yeah, but the jacket Tommy Boy jacket. >> How much is it? >> Sorry, Mike. I'm bombing. >> I like that. He's tanking the room. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> 101 grand it sold for. >> Not bad. >> And then now this image has conspiracy. theory stuff all over it, too. >> Does it? >> Oh, yeah. >> Can't tell me one. >> No, let's go. >> Well, like that image is something that. is on a lot of celebrities' shirts. It's. something very similar to that, and that. is something that they now with the. Epstein stuff coming out is like. attached to that. >> What? >> Oh, yeah. Like connect that to.
like. there's some weird conspiracy. >> Turner, open us up, dude. Open my mind. >> there's some Yeah, QAnon. >> Oh, baseless. >> I don't know. >> They're baseless. >> Pedophilia myths. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> Wait, pop culture trivia. Uh the original heavily damaged Wilson. prop in the film was sold in an auction. for $308,000 confirming its high status. in pop culture rather than any hidden. sinister meaning. This sounds like AI's. trying to convince us of of this. >> Oh, they bring it up. >> Yeah, why would they say that? You said. it. I didn't say. >> Yeah, you brought this up. >> Yeah, come on, AI. Shut the up.
>> Ellen has a shirt with it. Jay-Z has a. shirt with it. It's tough stuff. Um. >> Ellen? >> Ellen, yeah. >> Is she gone? What did she do? Did she. leave? Didn't she get mad at Trump and. left the country? >> falloff. One of my Honestly, growing up, one of my favorite stand-up. >> Yeah, what did she do? She was great. stand-up. >> the hell? >> She was a great stand-up. >> Do you remember her Beelzebub shows? The. early ones were so good. >> So good. And now you're like, oh, she's. a monster. >> Remember when they did the deer antler. bit? The deer antler bit on the wall? Didn't she have a bit like that? >> Maybe. I just remember the slipping and. falling one. >> Oh, that's a good one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> Yeah. >> No, I like the elevator button.
>> Yeah, that's how good she is. There's. like three. >> It's a lot of good Yeah, bits. >> I I already I already pushed it. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> It might make it come faster. I I love that I It's such a stupid idea. >> Yeah. >> Yeah, she was great, and then she just. uh. >> And now she's. >> Now she's gone. >> Yeah, with the I mean, the Anne Heche. death. >> I think she got I think she got two. >> You know that? >> Oh, yeah. >> She died on a a car that all of a sudden. went speeding through Brentwood or. something like that, and then she was. pronounced dead on the scene, but if you. there's a video of her going to the. ambulance where she physically gets out. of the car. >> It's crazy.
>> That is insane. >> She wakes up for a second, then they. push her back down. It's creepy, creepy. >> Woah. >> That is where The last words were Cast. Away should have won the Oscar. >> So, that's the whole circle. That's full. circle. >> Yeah, so. >> So, Mike, where where can we see your. special? >> It's on YouTube. >> Yeah. And when did you when did you. release it? >> On. You know what I did? So I filmed it on. New Year's and then I'm familiar with. the Asian culture and I dropped it on. Lunar New Year. >> Thank you. >> Chuc mung nam moi. >> Thank you. >> Thank you. >> Vietnamese I don't know what you your. culture says but happy happy belated.
Lunar. >> Thank you. >> Um and. and so yeah, it's on YouTube on my. Michael Turner Comedy. on YouTube and then yeah, just dropped. it. I filmed it at Fort Collins on New. Year's Eve. I'd never seen anybody film. a special on New Year's Eve and I was. like you know what? I like keeping. things loose. I'm like loose but also. tight with my bits and New Year's is a. very competitive night sometimes. I. thought it'd be fun. Shout out to Fort. Collins. >> Congratulations. >> Thank you man. Yeah, self-funded and. it's all me so. >> Well, Michael Turner is a very very very. funny stand-up. He's up and coming. We.
we love him here at Bad Friends and go. check out his. special on YouTube. >> Also by the way, do a great you do a. great job. For people that are sports. fans, you are a sports fan but specific. sports fans. Have you ever done it at a. soccer game? >> I No. >> Cuz he's a die-hard soccer fan. >> Really? That's interesting. >> You would do it for you. >> Wait wait wait what's that? Why? >> Well, I don't know. I just don't meet a. lot of soccer fans in America. >> Okay, good. Very good. >> Good counter. >> Mike I'm just going to let you I know. you're blushing but. I quit smoking a couple days ago so I'm. a I'm a little agitated.
>> He I know it comes across. >> I was like. >> as I'm being combative, right? But it's. just me full of anxiety. >> oh interesting. You said why the is. it interesting? >> So that's what that's about. So I apologize. It's. Yeah, yeah, I apologize. >> No, you're doing fine. >> Yeah, you're doing great. >> And I don't say it enough. I'm proud of. you. >> See? >> Thank you so much, Mike. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> I told you he's proud of you. >> Thank you, sir. >> No, he does interviews outside of. football games and they're very very. funny. >> I love you, brother. >> And it's usually. it's a little bit of nagging.
>> Mhm. >> It's it. >> But it's but it's light ribbing in a way. that people would really love that like. sports. >> And it's some like I know enough about. the opposing team to make fun of them, but also be aware I'm a fan of bad. sports teams, too. So, it's like you can. make fun of me, too. >> I know. >> So, it's fun. Yeah, it's like yeah. >> I'm sorry, brother. >> Cincinnati Bengals since they were bad. >> the Bengals. Yeah. >> Arizona State Sun Devils. >> Phoenix Suns. >> Arizona State, not that you would give a. whatsoever. We literally played a. men's basketball game 2 days ago and. lost by 45 points, I think it was. 50. points, yeah. Pretty cool. >> Hill was like, I'm out.
I'm done. >> Can you imagine this in soccer would be. losing like 12 to nil? >> Yeah, that'd be it. >> That's how big of a get In men's. basketball, losing by 50 is unheard of. >> Mhm. It's It's like a. It's like even the players who were. winning were like, "Are you guys okay?". >> Yeah. >> Yeah, we're tapping in. We're. you guys up. >> I had friends I haven't heard of in. years being like, "You good, dog?". You all right, bro? >> Yeah. >> Yeah, you need some help? >> But I do I like I like sports, drinking. beer, talking And so, I go to. sports games and sporting events. And. then I do a tour around it every year.
So, it's fun. So, that's my that's I you. got to be a self-starter in comedy, as. you guys know. So, just start. >> Well, you're doing Well, you're You're. here, aren't you? >> This is great. Yeah, I appreciate you. guys putting me on the play. >> No, we're proud to have you on the. >> And it's great. You guys have always. been very kind to me, so I appreciate. it. >> And. um. Let's Can I be honest with you? >> Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Careful. Settle in. >> Yeah, I want to settle in. Let's be. real. >> Yeah, say what you need to say. >> think I have been that kind to you. >> That's fair. >> I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I. I I I I I I I I I I I I. >> It. >> I'm Let's be honest with you. I think.
that I've. been in and out with you. >> Oh, is there a rule book? >> I don't know. I Here I I'll just. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I. I I I I I I I I I I I. >> You're saying in general right now? >> I I I bypass him a lot at the store, and. I don't really take the time to say hi. >> I think that. >> Let's be on Let's get that LET'S GET IT. ON THE TABLE. >> AN INTERESTING guy to me, cuz I I know. you and I are are good friends. When I. see you, it's always love and say. whatever. And so, sometimes like I. remember initially when you guys started.
the pod, I was like, "Oh, Bobby will. probably be cool to me." And we've we've. had we've had some back and forth. You. know what it is though? >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> I'm just who I am. I'm from the Midwest. I'm just a dude that's from Cincinnati. And I remember one of our first. interactions, this is probably something. that's not shocking to either of you. I. think you like tried to high kick me. >> Yeah, yeah, and like. >> And like. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> Speaking of soccer being a soccer fan, now I know you're just a soccer fan. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> He tried to. >> Yeah, I I. >> He tried to freaking. >> I I think that's what it was. >> Liu Kang me. >> Yeah, he tried to try to Liu Kang. >> He tried to high kick me. I was like, "Dude, I've seen Mortal Kombat and.
>> I've got a couple of Asian stereotypes I. can kick at you, too. >> I understand that. >> But I'm above that. >> But that's what I remember my. relationship with you. It's not like. it's more like a violence. >> Well, so. >> Yeah, yeah, and so I I I I want to. change. >> Yeah. >> No, no, today's the day. >> We're buddies with the same people. I. have Ramsey's a good buddy of mine. >> Yeah, we talked about him. >> clarify something. >> Okay, okay. He will only kick you if he likes you. >> So now, knowing like seeing some. >> Am I right? I don't kick everyone. >> I do think I let's just get that out of. the way. I think about that now in. hindsight. >> And was IT WAS IT HIGH?
>> IT WAS HIGH. It was impressive. >> Yeah, that's a good one. >> And this is pre-GLP thing. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's that's. cuz I like you. >> So again, now I know that. >> Yeah, yeah. >> I was like newer to LA and I was I'm. just not the type of cat that'd be like, "That was cool.". >> Yeah, yeah. >> And I didn't say anything, but I. probably gave you body language that was. like, "Yo, >> That wasn't cool. >> Nah.". >> Oh, that I think that's what I read. I I. think that's what I read and I was like, "Nah, I I said nah myself.". >> Yes. I made you did. >> Cuz I didn't like your reaction. >> 100%. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like, "Who the. is this guy?
>> headliner. >> What is it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't see his name on the wall. You know what I mean? >> But then I don't I don't bend the knee. and I don't take. >> you don't. And you know what? And now we. have an understanding. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> Right? But the next time I high kick. you, I got. >> I'm grabbing it. You know what. I'm saying? >> Maybe a DDT. Okay, okay, good. >> His girlfriend, he's been TRAINING FOR. YEARS. SHE'S VIETNAMESE. Her family's all. Vietnamese. >> Oh, there's traps. >> to. >> Okay. >> I've been to the house. You know how. battle tested I am now? You ever party. with some Vietnamese people? >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> I know what the to do. >> Yeah, yeah. >> Wait, this is interesting because you I. want just a quick perspective share of.
where in the overlap of the pie charts. of you've adopted a Filipino family into. your life. >> Oh, that's interesting. >> You've adopted a Vietnamese family into. your life. I want to know what the. similarities are of like cuz you live. they live at your house. >> Yeah, they do. >> And now you're embedded into their life. >> Yeah, we've lived together for years. now. >> What are the Do you have Are there. moments where uh. >> Let me let me ask it. Let me let me ask. it. All right. All right. Can they can. they sleep anywhere? >> Oh, yes. She can She can sleep anywhere.
>> Like in the kitchen on the floor? >> They sleep everywhere. >> They do. They just fall asleep when they. just. >> Right, right? And it just chills on a. chair sleeping like this. You. know what I mean? >> Can they eat like the. anything? And and like in amounts that. are alarming? >> Yeah, yeah. I I've I've done this like. um I'll get two Jersey Mike sandwiches, right? >> Two? >> Yeah. >> You're eating two? >> No, I don't eat them all the time. I. have an emergency one. >> Oh, good. Good check on that.
>> I'm a huge Jersey Mike guy. That's not. >> I'll get two, right? And I'll do an. emergency one. >> That's smart. >> Yeah, yeah. And I'll keep that in the. fridge, right? And then it'll be there. for like I don't know how long. And. they'll eat it. >> They'll eat If they're. >> After like a week. >> A week. Yeah, yeah. They'll just delete. it. >> The I I know. >> And they'll and they'll eat the wrapper, too. They won't even have. >> They don't waste. They're very not. wasteful. >> Well, and then are they actually from. the Philippines and now live here? >> Oh, yeah. >> Yeah. >> So, she's Okay, yeah. Well, you know how. it is.
>> Is your girlfriend from. >> So, half her family's from Vietnam, but. she was born in Cali. So, she has a. she's more of. >> Oh, well, mine is from the actual you. know. >> Well, half her family's and I party with. them a lot and we kick it a lot. They're. great. They've I've never had more. support in my life, but if you cross. them. >> You never cross them. >> It's the most combative Like. >> So, if this relationship, which I hope. it never does, go south, you need to. leave the country. >> You know what's funny is if it it'd be. so it'd be so cold and icy that there.
would be no interaction ever again. It'd. be it'd be dead in a way that would hurt. more than if it was combative. >> I got you. I got you. >> If it is if it is if it was with a white. girl, you know what I mean? >> Yeah. >> Yeah, but this is like this is. >> Yeah. >> Um and also Southeast Asia, both. Filipino That's the other crossover. It's Southeast Asia, but Filipinos are. obviously on the island, but Vietnamese. are. They're They're They're kind of that. that energy is a little similar, I've. always found. Laos, Cambodia, Vietnam, Filipinos. Is that fair? >> It is fair. I'm dating a hippie white,
and hippie whites though, right? I think. >> This is your first hippie white. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> Hippie whites are different. >> They're different. >> Yeah. >> They're a lot more like Asians. >> In what way? >> They'll eat anything. >> Well, that's cuz they're high. >> Oh. Is that why? >> That's the weed. >> But also hippie whites are like Asians. in this trying to find. >> In a zen way. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> In a zen way and probably closer to. Buddhism. >> Right. >> Than Catholicism. >> And this hippie. >> You'll leave the room while they're and. and they're doing this.
>> Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I. like that. Yeah, yeah. >> And this hippie Asian has coached. >> You know I got to you know. >> has coached. >> It is interesting that you're. open-minded to other Asians though. Usually other Asians hate other Asians. >> Yeah. >> Which is funny. >> Wait, wait, wait, wait, what? >> Like I I know like Koreans don't like. Chinese. >> That's that's absolutely that's. absolutely not true. >> Well, all right. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> All right. >> I love all the Asians. >> Except for. >> This is you. >> I I what? >> Except for. >> What? >> Which one? >> Indians. >> You can always get one. >> kidding. No, I love everybody.
>> He's kidding. >> I'm kidding. Look in the mic Look in. there and go, "Thank you for being a bad. friend.". >> Well, first of all, we want to thank. Mike for coming on the show. >> I already did that. I We already plugged. the special. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> I I just got I have to go. >> He's got to go on a date. >> Oh, really? With a hippie girl? >> Yeah, yeah. >> I'm proud of you. >> Yeah, yeah. I got to go. >> Uh thank you for being a bad friend. Is. that what I said? >> That's how you say it again. Yeah, still. good. >> Thank you for being a bad friend. >> I love it. >> I don't know when this episode comes. out, right? But the towels were not. done. >> Really?
>> Yeah. >> After all of this? >> After all of that. >> an entire episode about towels. >> The towels were not done. 3:00 in the. morning last night, I texted Jules. I. go, "Where are my towels?" Right? And. she goes, "I'm going to Hawaii.". She went clubbing, too. She went clubbing for 3 hours. >> Maybe the the merch will be your towels. at some point. >> Yeah. >> You use some of our merch as towels. >> Maybe. But she did not do the towels. Insane.
