The Old Man in the Pool | Ep 152 | Bad Friends
two are bad friends who are these two. idiots. [Music]. or something we're bad friends about a. day. all day every about a day. I bought a Jeep I don't even get the bit. I know. it's terrible. I bought a Jeep I bought a Jeep. I bought a Jeep can you talk about your. attire or what's going on am I retire. your attire my attire yeah yeah what.
about it. I mean it's. it's not good. what's not good about it. it just looks. slick it doesn't even look slick he. looks like a guy like a homeless guy. found a bunch of new clothes and just. put them on or whatever okay all right. do you really think you're gonna call me. homeless guy you're wearing your angry. about you're wearing a got ran over by a.
dump truck beanie and a pre-worn Guns. and Roses band shirt you don't even like. Guns and Roses. oh yeah yeah. right. that's because it sounds Asian. yeah yeah they stole that from the. Chinese I think. yeah that means uh get over here. dinner's ready. when that part happens in China they. play it 50 women come out of nowhere.
juicy got those red socks on today I. wanted a match with Bobby hell yeah. uh excited to be here thanks for. everybody viewed my special cheeseburger. on Netflix Bobby is gonna watch it at. some point I love it. uh we'll never see it you'll never ever. watch it I'll watch fries I think it's. like the third one. when five's coming out good I'm gonna.
love it well what's second Shake yeah. Shake is actually kind of a good name. that's a pretty good one shake and then. fries yeah you know there's actually. meeting there's meaning to it the. cheeseburger probably no no I don't. understand no no because people on. people have been saying it's good it's. all right it's doing pretty good in fact. I was um at my manager's house and her. son sawed Kobe and he goes dude it's. really good. and he saw other people's podcast. because I don't like the other ones that. you know we're friends I want to name. names but he goes I listen to yours and. he goes you're smart guy thanks yeah.
yeah that's fun uh excited excited to be. here tonight. I made that up. yeah yeah I couldn't I'm sorry but you. know other people have said it. it's okay it's okay yeah okay yeah. because that always gives you a smile. when I do it yeah we're not gonna use. any of this stuff yeah it's good at the. end yeah. so go ahead no I want you to go your.
energy is good. did you find your wallet I just Pokey. yeah I found my I think that's what it. was I felt really good about finding my. wallet man you lost your wallet in the. CVS it's the work you know you're losing. your wallet is worse than losing your. phone. um double time for me my wallet is my. phone all right so yeah yeah don't lose. that no I know your life is over but. don't you think that the wallet's worse. than the phone because the phone you can. go buy and then you can I Cloud.
everything back right right but with the. wallet man it's like the credit cards. the ID all that [ __ ] you guys what else. I have a couple of checks in there like. chat like uh yeah and then look this is. the wallet got stolen I mean I it just. dropped out of my pocket and I had. I don't know 200 bucks yeah a couple. hundred bucks in there no some more no. there's my 300 hundreds of dollars.
you don't have a choice because I feel. great that finding it and then um we'll. give Max 100 back there he's back there. get a hundred dollar bill he just. started come here man he just started. school but do he started a new school. yeah get a textbook I don't know how to. say cost but let me get one. a generous man me you're always a.
generous man I don't even care because. I'm so happy I found this because Friday. night Friday night what happened was we. finished this podcast yeah then you left. I stayed here with Andrea we scoured the. [ __ ] place I went back to the CVS I. checked the parking lot with my the. light on the phone for like hours. every crevice in the parking lot in the. parking lot then I had to cancel my date. with that girl yeah right and spots and. spots came back here till midnight. looked at every like you know what do.
you call the brown stuff poop yeah yeah. I took every piece of horse poop that. was out there yeah because this brown is. this is. a horse ate it yeah. deep depression Saturday I was like I. can't move on right I had to drive. because then my accountant right lives. in Marina del Rey right right and he. goes hey Bob that's what he sounds like. no he doesn't he sounds like this. yeah that's good he's 104 years old yeah.
I spoke to him on the phone you can hear. his breathing machine in the background. yeah he can't die but I hope he doesn't. he will I don't want him to die anyway. so I and he goes I'm going to San Diego. you got to get here now Drive early in. the morning cancel my cards get a new. card I told him to get me some cash and. then today this morning they called we. got it and cash was in it. they didn't touch a dime well you. wouldn't know I wouldn't know yeah. that's what's good about you you're easy. to Rob so you have an alternative wallet.
as well you have a new side wallet no. and then I had to get a new this is my. old wallet and I put I got my new card. and some other cash it's fine. everything's good though I feel great. but once you got the brown one back. didn't you want to consolidate. no I'm taking two I got that now yeah. because if I lose one you know I mean I. won't feel as bad I get it yeah yeah you. should always have two wallets but yeah. that's my thing yeah do you carry what. do you carry with you I have a wallet in. my bag but like what is there a lot of. [ __ ] in it. um no it's just a few cards and then my. cash this is how this is how I've.
learned to live after years of wallets. what is that it's a it's a it's a. magnetic case that goes on my iPhone wow. oh it's an apple one too yeah so if if. you'd lose that yeah it's what you would. call it no it's got uh what you call it. it's magsafe yeah so as soon as I take. this off yeah like it'll say you know. like if I'm on my phone it'll uh a. notification will pop up and say. Andrew's wallet disconnected and it pin. knows where it is pin drops oh that's. amazing yeah where do you get that Apple. yeah they sell these but this is all I.
do all I have is three cards ID two. credit card no cash no cash I keep cash. in my front pocket ah I should do that. do not I don't don't keep editing a. wallet because because I bet you they. took 20 bucks and you could have they. could have I have a picture in mine too. oh is it a bus I don't have no pictures. of you guys yet printed you should. I see that Arizona ID I have two of my. one of my mom and one of my best friend. oh show the camera so they can see that. is so cute and we're gonna meet your.
best friend when we go to Phoenix wait. wait do you have a Nokia or something. you can't put your [ __ ] photos on. your phone I do but I had a Polaroid for. a bit and I've I just ran out of phone. so all timey just put on your phone I'll. get a Polaroid of you and put it in my. wallet cute okay good yeah. yeah wait check this out I'm gonna get a. new phone too I'm gonna have two phones. you know why because you lose one yeah. no because I got banned I got banned. from Bumble and hinge what what did you.
do. let me just I'm not gonna tell you I. know what you did no what well you. probably did you send a No-No picture no. no no pictures what do you mean nobody. never sent dick in my life. should you lie about your age on hinge. Carlos how do you know I just assumed. so I was people report me because I lie. on my age why does that even matter yeah. what do you say yeah who the [ __ ] cares.
they but they these they care okay time. out so in real the real world you're 51. years old yeah let's all guess in the. room unless you know you can't cheat if. you already know. yeah right. I say you say you're 43. very good answer go ahead I think you. like to the um like being older so you. say 65. okay that's funny that's so. funny that's funny okay yeah yeah.
I think he goes 39 39 and then 40 40. what is it 35. what you even said that Bobby you're. nowhere near Google 35 year old Korean. guy well it's because that makes you. younger than Andrew dude cute little. Panda Boy but you are not 30. look at. how [ __ ] hot 35 year old Koreans are.
I've never looked like that when I was. 35. yes you did no I didn't yes you did. I never look like that though those are. BTS guys when I first met you like that. you looked exact when I first met you. that was you how come I couldn't get any. [ __ ] then because all they were in. there oh yeah BTS wasn't in it wasn't in. back then yeah look at that that dude. we're the same age that me and that guy. no he's 40. oh yes how old is he it says. over 40. actors over 40. but can I say. 35 is insane listen Okay okay but on the.
profile picture yeah in parentheses I go. I'm actually 51. okay so that's funny yeah that's funny. right so it's like but they reported you. yeah but the reason why I did that who. the [ __ ] reports that. the reason why you did it is what. because when I first did it I said 51 I. was getting no matches got it and the. ones that I got were like they all look. like Judy Dench. but she's a Dame I know she's a Dame.
like the youngest one look like Taylor. Swift. and like this I was like oh I'm [ __ ]. right so I changed the age so that young. now here we go. here's my theory okay yeah and this. might sound creepy all right I think it. feels creepy it was working yeah because. our fans right. range from 20 in the 30s I would say our. fans are anywhere I would say our our.
best age is 25 to 45. exactly 25 45 year. olds their age limit to look at other. guys 45. it's 40 45 yeah right so I just. wanted to get into the pool yeah you. want to get but now but but yeah but. it's weird when the creepy old man gets. in the pool. I'm just like you guys. anybody want ice cream. you're right you're right right so. that's why they reported because the old. man got in the pool and. pool old man right that's what would.
happen that's why I downloaded our time. what is that our times for old people. yeah yeah. our time is for old people wow yeah yeah. so I'm gonna do look at how boring the. website looks oh yeah look at how. [ __ ] bored. I'm in kinda yeah yeah yeah I'm [ __ ]. then no you're good you're great why. because look at that lady up there she's. a witch yeah but I bet you I bet she's a.
Salem witch dude. one of the old-timey days look at that I. know. they're using us as models what these. are these are the models imagine what's. on the [ __ ] side dude. that black guy's 96. look at how good he. looks look at him I just think I think. here's the deal I think you should be. able to say whatever I think they. shouldn't say age shouldn't be on there. if it's over 18 then ah is like well. you're you're it is what it is you can't. say how because girls don't like to be.
asked all there right isn't that a thing. you're not supposed to ask how old are. you I like it but you do yeah but it's. also this it's like anyone that's gonna. like me knows who I am you know you. should have to say based on my phone. that No One's Gonna swipe based on the. photo it should be you know what the the. tab should be under a hundred. yeah yeah that's good enough yeah I'm a. legal dating person now you're single. I'm under 100 [ __ ] leave me alone. yeah who cares if I'm 51 because you're. still [ __ ] hot you're still ready to.
[ __ ] so all of these dating sites of. people that are snitching can [ __ ] off. we're it's our time I have a question. what's the oldest woman you've been with. 66 right yeah no one time I was with us. so funny so I was I've never done this. before. so um. what time I was at the sack I feel bad. for saying oh [ __ ] it well you don't. have to say the specifics I was in a. town. Sacramento that's what I was gonna say.
yeah you're in Sacramento yeah but I. don't want to say that so let's start. from the beginning okay I was in a town. yeah right in America yeah and I was. with Kevin Christie okay so Kevin Chris. is was open for me he's your accomplice. in the story yeah and and after the show. you know this is when this is probably. 15 years ago so things weren't great I. could sell out. maybe a punch line that's a 200 seater. that's good that's pretty good yeah I. mean it was during those days and I used.
to do meet and greets at the end for. free you know what I mean people. and this old lady gets in line and she. goes I love your comedy and I go oh. thank you like it was like I remember it. was so startling because I was like she. doesn't look like somebody that would. like you know I've had to just shake my. hand young man what's so funny you said. young man yeah yeah and I go oh thank. you and you reach out it's just her. [ __ ] oh my God yeah just the lip yeah. what are the lips. she drapes the lip over here I gotcha.
and she has a note in the hand oh right. so she walks away I you know I take. photos of the rest of the people I open. up the note and it says the name and her. number it's written I know where this. original. [Laughter]. written in a world where there's. original rapper yeah and one of her. teeth is in there the paper was from the. Dead Sea Scrolls. you had to wind it out he's made out of. the the lion with goat milk.
anyway. the joke but my point is so then I I go. to Kevin I go. believe this little lady give me her. number he's like you should do it. I go. okay he's a wise man he's a wise man. yeah I call her. right on her on her uh landline yes she. had one of those rooms. the next time. yeah you had to call one of those boards.
yeah wow transferring yeah yeah. and then um so I call her and then she. goes. I'm babysitting my grandkids awesome. right but I'll pick you up at you know. the hotel at five why don't you just. come to the hotel and [ __ ]. I thought she just wanted a bang no I. don't I don't even know I didn't even. remember what you look like I thought. she wanted to just bang and you were she. was like I'm coming over no but so we're.
at the sports bar okay right and she. goes. she's 58 59. oh that's not as bad as you. yeah well don't say the age because now. it'll be more fun we'll let people guess. yeah yeah so go ahead so she was in old. she was older yeah older. probably 25 years older than me at least. yeah yeah under a hundred yeah under 100. for sure yeah and out of nowhere she. just goes. no that's right at the [ __ ] bar right.
were they nice they were saggy yeah but. the nipples were great they were like 22. year old nipples right yeah the rest of. it 100 150 years old yeah yeah but what. kind of sag are we talking it's like a. whale's tits oh yeah yeah okay but the. [ __ ] nipples were like [ __ ] you. know Sorority Girl okay right yeah yeah. and then I remember she had a lot of. freckles for some reason no those are. cancerous.
yeah yeah the liver spots yeah. right and then I remember. um I got a little wrecked and then so. she goes then we go into her back seat. of her Bronco that's so cool she had a. Ford Bronco by the way and I remember. I had to scoot over toys. for grandkids toys yes. I don't know what kind of toys Tinker. Toys yeah a plastic red like fire engine.
truck okay here I mean those kind of. things Lincoln Logs. yeah I mean but but then yeah and then. uh we made out in the second the back. seat and then I called her late at night. after my second show I go come over the. hotel and she never picked up oh you so. she did she go rejected you or she could. have died she probably died. and her Ghost came over. she was 25 years older than you do you.
think the girls you date might feel the. same way oh my gosh. honestly honestly I feel like you were. waiting for that joke so good and I know. yeah I know you thought this is me I was. like should I tell it yeah yeah I don't. know and it offended me greatly it was. perfect but it's kind of crazy that. things have gone the other way around. now [ __ ] up that's the world right I had. I had one when I lived in Long Beach my. buddies and I would go there was a place.
called. um. I think it's Balboa no or Naples island. down near uh Belmont Shore in Long Beach. and it's like a little tiny overpass. before you get to Seal Beach and there. was a place yeah little Naples that's it. right there and then look up uh I think. it's called The Crow's Nest it's an old. like uh. I swear to God look Crow's Nest Long. Beach it's an old um yup that's it right. there oh the crows now so that is a. notorious spot for what for [ __ ].
cougars it's a Cougar Bar oh we gotta go. dude so here I was I'm 22 years old or. 23 I'd like just moved did you know it. was a cougar swear when you walked in. yeah we all everybody knew because. because when you go when you live down. in Belmont second street is like uh it's. party town and then Naples is all the. retired retirement people yeah so. everyone jokes around like oh where are. you guys gonna go to [ __ ] grossness and. one night me and a couple buddies were. like yeah we are gonna [ __ ] go to the. Crow's Nest yeah and when we walked over. there we thought well we have to do it. now we have to commit and we walked in.
and everybody turned and looked at us. and we thought we should get the [ __ ]. out of here this is so this is such a. bad idea yeah yeah and we started. drinking and we're like we'll have a. beer and then we'll leave then we talk. to a bunch of these women we got really. [ __ ] up we started dancing This. Woman's like you guys got to come back. to my house I'm I'm divorced and I have. a whole house to myself we can all party. and this woman was. very. very sweet. what does this mean bad breath shoot bad.
looking oh yeah. what was the wrestler that had that as a. thing yeah yeah yeah yeah okay she was. not uh she was not a yeah and I think it. was John Cena she was very nice we call. them in Spanish we call them shrimps. what what that makes no sense because. you can take the head off and then it's. Bueno.
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show notes for details. by the way in this in this world in this. world she was a jumbo shop you. understand all right I get it yeah yeah. so she was a jumbo shrimp. and we partied all night and then we was. at the point where people are so drunk. and stoned that they're passing out yeah. and this girl keeps gr this woman keeps. grabbing my hand to go into a room or go. away from the group and I keep avoiding. it avoiding why why what. I mean you're there to see the cougar. yeah but you get the Cougars attention.
with the meat uh-huh right the cougar. gets hungry and gets a Hog Wild right. and then you go no cougar no no I just. never I just I just don't don't expose. her to the meat well but the meat went. bad I was I had to go home and so I and. she I was like no no no no no no no and. then she like kind of. assaulted me if I'm being honest and she. just grabbed your dick my dick on top of. my jeans like I mean grabbed it hard and.
I loved it now be honest loved dude it. loved it so hot and she just like. started kissing me you got a wrecked. immediately I mean she just I mean you. started kissing me oh my God and then. and then I was like okay okay okay chill. chill I got nervous and I was like stop. it I love it I love it and then my buddy. Colin he'll remember him I'm gonna get a. phone call from him after this here my. buddy Collins we were living together. and he's like oh we gotta go I'm like. let's get out of here man and everyone's. kind of packing up and going out to side. to smoke out front and like get ready to.
start walking together and he says this. is from his perspective because I I know. what happened on my end but he goes I'm. smoking a cigarette I walk out to the. street I get to the street and he goes I. turn around I go where's Santino and he. looks up and I'm up in her room with my. head out the window and I go I'll see. you guys tomorrow. and I slowly close the window I slept. over. you did it I had a lot of fun we had a. lot oh he's blushing you're blushing wow. how old were you I was 23. oh my God. what a great and she was no less than 50.
something 58 maybe wow but she had a. [ __ ] Mansion I mean dude she had just. gone through a divorce you could tell it. must have been a six bedroom house like. on the beach it was [ __ ] huge and I. had to sleep over but I did have a panic. moment in the morning why well I woke up. I couldn't believe I was there like oh. you're drunk then you drunk the night. before we were all drunk we were all. right so you sobered out you're sober. well I knew what was going on yeah yeah. but I thought when I woke up I got. scared because I thought do I have to. like. what do I have to do have to bathe her. in the morning what do I have to do with.
her yeah massage her feet like do I do I. owe her now because I'm her little boy. toy like what do I do now right and I. said I have to go to the bathroom and. she goes okay and this is so [ __ ] up. but. I went downstairs and she's like there's. a bathroom right here and I was like no. no I I just don't want to use the. bathroom in front of you and she's like. oh okay and I went downstairs and I ran. as fast as I could to go home and I. never talked to her again never saw her. again. well she took advantage of little old me. I was a little boy no thank you you ran.
down I ran as fast as I could no thank. you I don't know what I thought she was. gonna come catch me or something. in her wheelchair. I got so scared I didn't know I ran as. fast as I could to go I have questions. yeah okay so when you woke up the next. morning all right and you're coming to. and you're realizing where you are right. yeah and when you looked at her right. what did it look like. I want to know that feeling.
what did she look like what kind of. person did she look like so give me an. example of a celebrity but like you know. and I can let's start there okay. um do you remember in uh I know exactly. what you look like I'll tell you exactly. what you look like you're gonna give me. three seconds good good so I can look it. up because I know this is real because. he's Googling I'm I'm gonna tell you. what I'm gonna tell you what to Google. the girl that I was at the club that I. did okay yeah okay will you Google Susan.
Kellerman okay here we go. Beetlejuice I think that's what it was. that woman yeah. exactly what she looked like oh wow the. waiting room wow yes that is precisely. which and and she smoked in the morning. too so just like this character from. Beetlejuice it's exactly what you look. like no real because mine was I I feel. like that's not real there's no way.
there's a bathroom upstairs. will you have bath salts too I mean what. the [ __ ] dude oh dude it was it was oh. six what do you want mine's Cherry Jones. now Cherry Jones oh that's what she. looked like yeah Cherry Jones now though. that's kind of what you look like. Cherry Jones now yeah yeah. oh okay okay yeah honestly yeah not bad. I like it yeah yeah that's who you get. on your dating sites.
yeah Cherry Jones yeah yeah by the way. what a name Cherry Jones yeah she's. great but you know what I had a good. time with that woman wherever she is and. you know you know where she is right. yeah well she's with my cherry jokes. they have a podcast. good friends. what's the oldest person you've hooked. up with you mine's not as fun it's just. like it's not ashamed 19 with the 30. year old. guy's stories aren't as exciting it's. cements you told me about this gentleman.
yeah a grade A guy yeah sweetheart yeah. a prince but some girls your age you. know I because I've been dating you know. with girls that are in their late 20s. and stuff she's she's a young she's. she's 30 what are you 31 32. yeah. because I've been dating girls in the. you know you've seen some of the dates. you know and some of them said no I've. hooked up with a 60 year old man you. know man it's like some of their stories. are wild yeah I think it's when you're. like like in the 15 to 19. it's like. weird but then once you get even like.
young 20s but once you get mid 20s and. on it's like the age gaps I don't think. once you get to 24 or 5 then I think a. 25 year old with like a Donald Sterling. you know like that isn't that remember. that remember that girl that he was it. was like at that age then it kind of. like it just happens all the time so you. get used to it at that point some 25. year old is with some 74 year old man. like this you know she's not 25 but you. know what I mean you see this constantly. yeah yeah she's 30 he's 80. yeah yeah. and that is what it is and at 70 is when.
average men lose some of the their. sexuality would you like your. testosterone a little bit I think it. happens at 40. yeah I've heard 30. no no. seriously well that's that's not for me. that's a person not for me baby 51.50. what is it it's a 51. no but what what's. the age men's just stop having sex I. guess never no there is an age 70 75. I. don't know my grandfather was [ __ ]. till the end dog really yeah he was. seriously he had a girlfriend until he.
like died between 30 and 40. yeah 13 40. that's when the testosterone Falls up. one percent every year. damn it's like losing your egg yeah but. can you Google. when when do men I mean it's their yeah. what are you asking babe when do men. stop ejaculating look at that that's. funny 75 to 85 that's when you what. when they like literally sexual life. expectancy that's such a sad term I know. your sexual life also by the way most. people are dead by 85 so what's the. [ __ ] difference yeah but I bet you.
you're gonna be coming until you're 80. thank you 100 that's the best compliment. you've ever given me I've given you so. many good compliments but that's a good. one all right I'll give you another one. yeah uh because I think that I'll give. you another 25 years I'm gonna be. [ __ ] it feels like oh it's worth. living of course what did you not want. to live otherwise yeah if. you know I have to say Jesus Christ I. have to say that you know I've seen you. know documentaries and stuff where kids. and they get a spinal injury and then. they can't have sex because you know. there's no feeling down there and in my. mind it's like I don't know how I would.
be able to exist in that state you're. saying if you couldn't up if you. couldn't sexually use your penis anymore. you don't want to live. what about you if you couldn't use your. chocha anymore and you couldn't have sex. or have any sensation and by the way not. all people that get paralyzed you know. that there's plenty of paraplegics that. still have fun I'm not accusing anybody. of it no no you're saying. but what I'm telling you is you don't. know dude there's people like I don't. know Stephen Hawking now that rolls up. he could [ __ ] yeah he [ __ ] are you.
sure yeah he cheated on his wife and she. left him. do you not know the story this guy. [ __ ] uh this what is this diagnose 21. years no no look at you Stephen walking. he cheated on his [ __ ] wife while he. was like fully you want to know. something crazy handicapped and so he's. still [ __ ] he went to the island. he went to steens he's an empty boy yeah. see look. he's cheating on her with strongly he. denied it of course 11 years of marriage. but but um but look he was in that state. good to see you yeah yeah put that [ __ ].
on my face and he could still [ __ ] oh. wow he could still [ __ ] look at him. there that's him right there saying can. I get can I get head yeah but can I get. him look at this right he can't look. down to see their expressions on their. face. I'm a man well this is what's even. funnier zoom in what is the expression. he makes when he comes I mean is it does. it does he go back to normal. yeah he can stand up for a bit yeah I.
mean. can you imagine he's like this he's. getting he's getting sucked and he's. just like oh yeah yeah it goes right. back it's like Awakenings. this is amazing while we're going to. hell no no I don't feel bad if you tell. me he went to steens no but what I'm. saying. of it there's pictures of him at. Epstein's yeah whoa but I'm not talking. about that though what I'm talking about. is I know there are people that can't do.
it I know and I think you know I would. probably become very spiritual you might. be you might become like a great artist. what do you mean well if you can if you. don't have to focus on [ __ ]. oh maybe you could focus on one thing. for the rest of your life right think. about like dating and girls and losing. your wallet and yeah [ __ ] right just. about art. well doing better in war zone yeah you'd. best Wars don't play of all time yeah. look at my KD look at this yeah what. would you do though what would you do. let's let's say let's say you lose all.
feeling in your in your or you can't. have any sexual pleasure on your side in. your organs whatsoever would you live. just to give pleasure if you could never. receive would I I would live for sure I. have lots of other things to live for. see see she's like it I like it well you. don't you made it sound like you don't I. don't you do I like so much to live for. but here's can I ask you a question and. I'm not it makes me nervous whenever you. ask me if you can ask the way you phrase.
it I know but it's like because I get a. little uncomfortable he I know so if a. woman feels. you know I mean no feeling down there. through an accident or whatnot sure. a guy could still make love to them. though. yeah. that's not saying anything wrong that's. it for us. they could still have sex yeah but a guy. can't because if a guy's because he. can't get erect if he has no feeling. yeah yeah you can because they can I.
mean there's a pump there's a bunch of. different versions there's a lot of ways. to do this yeah his mouth his hand yeah. nobody what he's saying no but you can I. mean look at Stephen Hawking's eyes. he's got a [ __ ] he's got a hog dude. he can't even do a fist dude no yeah. he's typing all the time oh yeah yeah. yeah all right [ __ ] you I'm [ __ ]. you I'm [ __ ] you that's true no dude. there's scientific things that can help. achieve erection not only just like. boner pills stuff like it still works. blood flow yeah but also there's there's. like pumps there's gels there's all. sorts of stuff people can use so yeah.
you can still imagine imagine you're. it's Iraq yeah you can't feel anything. and you're just like can you can you. play on your Game Boy will you get your. feet you get because you're just looking. well I'm sure you're not just looking. like a psycho I'm sure you would act you. would kiss oh yeah yeah suck it you'd. suck a tit you didn't get oh that's. right that's right you suck a tit and. engage right apparently that you can. have a lot of pleasure in your ears so. they will oh yeah oh yeah because yeah. so just do that I want to say this not.
like that. that'd be so weird I had somebody this. is this is where Twitter because your. Twitter your allowed to put up any photo. you want right right I had somebody say. um like oh congrats on the special or. something like that yeah and the picture. even the little icon was pretty racy and. I was like wow like it looked. the naked you know what I mean yeah of. course I come to find I want to click on. it it's not it's it's like a skin skin.
colored bikini like it looked nude but. it wasn't nude color bikini. and then the one of the first photos or. first whatever it says watch me play. with my new. punani and I was like oh I get what. you're saying my new I know what I know. what it is yeah yeah I don't know she. got a new one he got a new one oh well. it was a trans uh woman yeah and so and. so. I was like does that have a new car.
smell you think well they have the. little little Pine freshener is hanging. off oh really yeah that would smell. really good lemon zest I think oh it's. brand new but and so I was like I wonder. if there's a final because I do want to. see what it looks like me too I'm. curious I've never seen it yeah so I. scrolled down and like the fourth or. fifth photo was that right there of the. reconstructed. because I think and then of course I. Googled I was like did they tuck it in. do they you know it's like an Audi do. they push it as an inning yeah yeah and. I had to Google like how they did.
imagine if it was like a you're like. buying a new car like it's you're a car. lot oh show me the parking lot yeah some. guy you know I mean a plaid's dude walks. out so what do you want to see show me. the [ __ ] facts yeah let me see the. history of the [ __ ] facts I want to know. what happened to the puss facts oh right. show me how many accidents you're gonna. get used to it yeah. oh yeah I can't buy new oh all right. days are tough yeah but I had to see I. had to see what it looked like and it's. it's wild it's wild let me ask you. something because I've never seen one. yeah no I don't want to see one you. should do so don't go no I don't want to. see it why not don't know it I just.
don't want to see it right now okay all. right yeah I want you to explain it to. me. it looked it looked does it look like. let me ask you some simple questions. is it in the vagina ballpark very very. much Bing it looks great is there an. opening oh yeah Bing yeah I'm already in. I'm already still a butthole by the way. butthole right there right butthole. still good to go but being the three. we're being right yeah. um does is there lips oh yeah. that's four right and the fine and the.
final right can you still see some of. his dick yep. baby. [Applause]. wow wow no no but still some there no no. no okay but it looks I will say because. I'm not making fun we're not making fun. by the way no yeah it looked no we're. not okay cheers. I'm being supportive yeah but I had to. look I wanted to know I was [ __ ]. curious that's human nature I wanted to.
see and it looked impressive oh it's. impressive how good they Google it yeah. [Music]. is the better way to buy your next ride. you know Andrew before I bought my car. during the summer yeah I had to go to. these lots and I went forget it forget. it I'm going to vroom.com and it's so. much easier from is the better way to. buy your next ride go tell them about it. with room you can shop thousands of cars. right from your phone and have your next.
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forthepeople.com bad friends or dial. pound law pound 529 from your cell phone. that's for the people.com bad friends or. pound law pound 529 from your cell. I'm a little bit worried because I've. been gone so long from where I'm a. little what do you mean I've been I was. out of town for a [ __ ] month from. here I was gone for three and a half. weeks I was a little worried because we. did that benefit show for The Comedy. Store and the money was gonna go to the.
it still is gonna go to the door guys. and girls yeah but like I haven't been. there to get the checks and give them. the money yeah so now Richie was like. are you gonna keep this money oh my God. I was like no I'm not gonna keep the. money I just haven't been at the club. they've been asking I'm sure yeah I'm. glad you brought that up yeah because I. was like Andrew just skipped town yeah I. left I took it I spent it no it's at the. comedy store but also I asked if they. could this is all semantics this isn't. fun but I asked if they could distribute. it to them and they said they won't we. have to do I know that's what they.
[ __ ] a nightmare it's a nightmare I. was like why can't you guys just give. them the money we made the money you. have the money give them the money why. do I have to get the money then divide. it up you do that what do you have to. divide it bro they can't do it because. they say it's like a tax thing so we. have to like we have to just split it up. I'm just gonna get cat I'm going to cash. it physically and just hand people cash. we've hired a new door guy since then. well he doesn't get it he doesn't get it. I don't give a [ __ ] I'll give up that. was before the before he got hired after. the show yeah and the reason that the.
door guys and girls got it is because of. their work for that year for last year. yeah this new guy [ __ ] off shout out. Chris Riggins and you know what we're. not gonna do it next year now because of. that because of this because this guy. yeah no not because of the guy because. of the way that they [ __ ] us they. [ __ ] us now we're gonna do it again. everyone do whatever it feels really. good yeah yeah but people have been. asking now people like when are we gonna. get that money no they've been asking me. too everyone forgets about it and then. somebody will remember it and they'll be. like oh yeah yeah because we have a. check there that I and I haven't been to. The Comedy Store in a month do you know.
what the check is no I have no idea how. much it's for but I'm gonna go get it. next week when I come back I'm getting. it and everyone's gonna get cash because. I'm not gonna [ __ ] play this game. make sure you have a list of all the. names and stuff you know she gave them. to she gave me the names oh you did yeah. and I'm gonna make sure that guy's not. on it how funny if you just never give. us money and you do this whole benefit. show every year that's kind of funny and. get the credit for it yeah you think I. would do that no no but all the work I. put into putting it together no What a. Sad twist we watched a movie the other. day uh being there have you seen it oh.
wait wait wait bring it up because I'm. gonna see being there yeah you love that. movie how many times have you watched. that a thousand times. uh I think I have seen that oh yeah I. remember this movie I remember yeah. anyone listening right now bad friends. it's a great [ __ ] movie is it as good. as my movie that just came out. house party. which one which one so I went to go see. house party right in the theater right. and I went with my cousin and the old. lady 29 is fine it's fine we're getting.
better. Kevin Hartson got I think it was like. 13. oh yeah it's getting better Rising. so we went to go see the movie yeah. and I will say. I am not I'm going to put this out in. public right now okay I'm not making a. joke I'm not making fun okay. the move is great it was deeply unfunny. and downright tiresome Katie Walsh at. trivia news thank you Katie. um no I'm not making fun. but you know how we're in the first row.
with the bar you know with the bar where. you can put your feet up do you know. what I'm talking about yeah. down below you is handicap seats yeah. now most of the time you can't sit in. those they bar you from buying them you. have to buy them at the location because. you have to prove that you're also. handicapped and you need them where is. the premiere no no this is just in. theaters I was gone for the premiere I. was in New York oh so you went to go see. I just wanted to go see it I was like. let me go support I'll go see it let me. go see I just want to see what it looks. like exciting you're in a movie you're. paying a ticket for the thing that must. be exciting no no I knew what was I.
going into it I was like oh I could feel. it on the internet uh oh you know I knew. all right I knew I knew I knew okay but. I was like I'd like to go see in. supporter who cares it'll be fun yeah so. my cousin me the old lady we go. we're sitting there and. 17. 20 minutes in in comes a rather large. group of handicapped people. and they most of the time those because. those chairs are reserved for physical. handicapped so you could wheelchair in. that's why there's seats missing.
but this was a group of handicapped. adults that were with a a person and. they were physical not physically handy. but mentally handicapped and. they were so much funnier than the movie. laughs. it was unfucking real I was so I was. having so much fun laughing with them. because genuinely yeah LeBron James. hologram come on yeah and he would start. hooping and hollering yeah like champ.
champ. I was dying yeah so much fun right. because this was this couldn't it's like. you know how when like you're like how. can I follow that right you know on. stage it was like they were so [ __ ]. funny and then at the end. he stood up and the credits are rolling. and they're showing. um uh bloopers yeah and he stands up and. he goes like this one of the kids yeah. the kids he's a man yeah and he puts his. arm wings out.
wings out and he literally goes. Hollywood uh Hollywood it at 100 years. have a golden Cinema and a beauty I. think he thought he was you know on the. ark light they talked to you he was. doing a show and he and so we sat and. everybody like people people literally. went like this they got up to go and. then they sat back down did you see what. would happen to see what he was gonna do. wow and he and he kept going cinnamon in. a golden age. television no movies cinema and he kept.
saying Cinema I said Cinema like six. times and then he and then he but his. arms were big yeah and he and he was. actually a pretty big guy and we were. like four feet away from him so a piece. of me thought what if he grabs me yeah. yeah because they can [ __ ] you up also. did you think that he was gonna turn. around see you because what what are the. odds I don't think he really watched. much of the movie. they were just having a good time oh is. it like like they they kept coming in. and out of the room they left like six. times yeah one guy threw popcorn on his.
buddy like not all of it but like a good. amount of it yeah and he laughed and. then he threw it back on him they were. having fun dude they were having more. fun than anybody could have had with the. film but this guy was my favorite. because he was like he was he was doing. his like speech his like open speech and. then I thought this has got to have some. kind of ending or it's going to be a. little strange. so then he literally in the middle of. talking it was so cool he was like the. the years have gone by then and and he.
just walked out of the room. how hard did you laugh well we clapped. oh that's amazing no we did we clapped. we I'm dead serious just to give him. some love I was like all right [ __ ] yeah. yeah but that was. that was better than the movie wow and. I'm not look I'm not being rude to the. movie the move the movie the movie no be. honest it was I didn't I tried we tried. you guys tried I didn't I'm not your. best I'm not in the movie I'm barely in. it but it just doesn't hum the way I. wanted it to hum right I wanted it to be.
good so bad I just it was there was. really funny moments it's hard to make a. good movie but it's a nightmare it. stinks yeah making a good movie is like. the hardest thing in the [ __ ] world. but it's but it's fun the first movie I. was in heirloomar I went to the theater. and I did the worst at the worst thing. ever wait what happened in that did hit. you with something or someone no in. heroin Kumar her own chroma 3D it hit me. with Ed they hit you with eggs yeah yeah. but the very first one right it's my. first movie I went to the theater bought. a ticket it's a great movie I went to. the premiere too yeah but I went and. bought ticket and when the lights went.
out in the theater I thought people. would like recognize me so I would do. this like thing like. and no one gave a [ __ ] you and I were. the polar opposite. I have a hat a hoodie I'm so scared me. I'm just I'm dressed like the character. in the movie. I'm walking like if you don't mean like. yeah yeah and that was the last time I. did that no one gives a [ __ ] well I know. I that's right my cousin was like what. if somebody sees you and I was like.
people may recognize me yeah that was. when I got hit by the eggs. yeah that I said people may recognize me. in the lobby but they're not going to. notice that I'm in the theater no one's. paying attention enough in a movie. theater to notice that's you right. although I will say this. let's just say it embarrassing is it. embarrassing not for me okay but there. is a scene it's a big party scene yeah. and this is how you reminded that you're. in Los Angeles. a girl behind us audibly.
audibly kept going oh that's me that's. that's no to her friend she was a. background actor in the party scene and. I dude I proof you can [ __ ] we were. sitting there all of us kept looking at. each other like why is she doing that. but it was it was under her breath but. loud where she would go. that's me. and you can hear a friend going I know I. know I see it yeah I know I see it and. she kept going. then she was sitting behind you not in.
front of you right behind me. yeah I match with a girl right and on. her Instagram. you know the story you could you can. title it yeah it said I made it I made. it yeah I click on it and it's this low. budget movie She Made it right did she. make it physically. and I had to watch it four times to see. where she was in the thing.
I'm not kidding you. right yeah like less than Brian Callan. in the Joker yeah the back is the back. side of somebody it was like this and. she was like I made it I'm in Hollywood. she did though maybe that is what I'm. saying is it's just doing delusional. thing it's too delusional it's a little. much yeah but she did make it though to. her to her. I I want to say something arrogant right. now do it baby you want to do it baby.
if you have a line you can say that. right if you're speechless you didn't. make it don't you think or no no oh so. you think if you're just if you're. working if your elbows in it your ear. you did it you're a piece of the project. all right you're right yeah that's how I. feel. all levels of it are different but also. I think it's strange like what that girl. did which is like yelling I'm yeah. that's what it bothered well it was. weird no it's not weird it bothers you.
no isn't it weird that's weird no it's. not weird you're like no I'm serious no. you no I don't care yes you do no I'm. telling you I don't care that she. celebrated her win I just think it's. strange to do it loud enough that other. people hear yeah that's a strange thing. so nowhere in your mind your you thought. I'm actually in this movie and I don't. give a [ __ ] piece of my mind actually. went I'm in this movie and I don't want. anybody to know I'm in this [ __ ]. movie yeah and so that irritated you no. but what I'll say is I feel like a jerk. right now no no it's because everything.
no everything I'm saying you're going. against and now I feel like a [ __ ]. part of the show I feel like a [ __ ]. [ __ ] I thought I was being real and. talking about like how you felt that is. how you know what dude I should have. your point of view. they did make it okay she made it she. made it yeah yeah but can I. congratulations okay so I'll tell you. one more what happened to me today in. the Uber in the Uber today okay the guy. goes he's wearing a Yankees hand or. something and something how New York. came up I said oh I'm going to New York. in the morning. and he was like he's like man I love New. York I'm like me too I'm gonna go spend. some time over there this year I want to.
you know go there for a little while and. he's like you're gonna move to New York. I was like well I mean you know. informally and he's like wow so you're. leaving La. and I was like well I'm not I'm not like. leaving and he's like. just giving up huh. I swear to God yeah he said they were. given up and I was like no I mean I'm. not he goes all right well just fill me. in I've only been here for a couple. years like what is and he hasn't looked. at me really once in the rear view yeah. like he doesn't even looked me in the. eye he's kind of speaking just as he's. staring not like it would matter but.
like we didn't even make eye contact he. was just staring and he just goes as. someone's only been here for two years. what is it that made you kind of quit. yeah and he goes is it relationships is. it your career like are things just not. panning out yeah and I was like no no. I'm very happy I'm very happy and he was. like yeah but what's making you like you. know what'd you want to say though what. what you want to say. the things that you're saying right now. is what sounds good.
listening right and you wouldn't say it. out loud even in that I could never say. I don't do great yeah that's what that's. what you want to say no I don't want to. say it it's just no you do no no no but. you don't say it because it sounds gross. I want to say yeah I want to say things. are really good too many Paparazzi I'm. not leaving yeah well there's an Uber X. so there's not much you can say yeah. yeah okay it's an uberX all right. because he because if I was like I'm. doing great so good he'd be like. there's an uberX right and you didn't.
pay for priority yeah like he dropped. someone off and then he got me right so. I couldn't say anything but I didn't. want to but it does feel weird when. someone's like so you gave up and you're. like none no yeah I didn't give up yeah. no I'm doing great and they're like wow. but you're giving up yeah well I'm not. giving up. I'm giving up. I'm giving up he's right though I am I'm. giving up and I'm giving and I'm getting. out why are you doing that. because it's just it's not leaving. he's absolutely that's how gross this.
thing is he's not moving I am you're not. I am it sounds like you you're not okay. what did I say if you did. I don't know I'm done with the podcast. yeah you're staying. no I'm being real I'm not [ __ ] around. you're coming you're coming in I'm not. going to New York yeah you are no if you. had a job there I do oh no you don't. yeah we do we're shooting you there. what what is. I can't say it I can tell you all fair.
no you're not you're lying I swear to. God I swear to God there's nothing that. you could be shooting there that like. you'd have to move there for three. months yeah. okay. maybe more no. that's [ __ ] well who knows. why don't you just admit that you're. afraid to lose me. as a as a friend and a homie why don't. you just admit that you're afraid of me. going away well let's explore that. nothing to do with the show yeah just. admit that you're like you're sad that I. would be gone.
I think what I'm sad about is like you. know. um I don't think that John and Paul did. better after the Beatles they just kind. of carved their own way. right but it's still not the Beatles. are you John. I'm whatever you want me to be in this. because I know you're going to say. you're gonna make a joke on Pete best. you know yeah you know who you and I. really are what we're we're Ringo and. [ __ ] George Harrison that's fine yeah. that's that's more I'll be Ringo I'll be. right in the scenario no no no I'm gonna. go I play drums okay what is she then oh.
Yoko. yeah Linda McCartney yeah yeah. so I was at the same thing that happened. to me I was at a um a meeting in San. Diego and you know no one knew at this. amends me no one knew who I was and. afterwards I bet somebody knew who you. were maybe but like you know and. sometimes you know after the meeting I'm. a guy from out of town but go ahead. we're gonna go eat at this Diner. right and they asked me they go what do.
you do some guy asked me he had overalls. on older white man and I go I just stand. up and you know this podcast like yeah. but you know Asian kid like yourself she. gone to college man you want to make. money don't you is every white guy a. racist today I don't know he's like you. want to make money don't you I mean. because you know these are dreams and. these kind of dreams you're sober now. man you should take responsibility oh go. to college and I I wanted to say what. you wanted to say in that car is I'm.
[ __ ] killing it no yeah but you can't. say it no because you're a girl so I. went you're right man I'll think about. it maybe I'll go to Palomar Junior. College you know what I mean and just. like figure out a vocation but one day. that guy's gonna be taking a [ __ ] coming. through YouTube yeah see you it's not. say YouTube everyone's on YouTube. one day that guy's gonna be taking a. [ __ ] watching what he's gonna be. watching PornHub. see you right right and then be like. that guy's killing his dreams came true.
but that's is it the same kind of thing. yeah yeah it's [ __ ] annoying it's. annoying and you don't say anything well. I mean look you I bet you juice you've. had this at your at your level even. still on the come up where you're like. and we're still on the come up that's. the funny thing so I was trying to tell. someone he's like it never stops but I. bet you where you're at someone has said. something to you where you're like no. I'm like doing good like things are. going good but they talk to you like. it's like your little like yeah your. little comedy [ __ ] dream is that do. you feel that have you ever had that.
yeah I've had that I I've had it where. like. um people will be really nice but. they'll be giving me all sorts of advice. right and I'm like oh and I go oh thank. you also from that so paid regulars yeah. and like and you know that's gotta. [ __ ] make you mad no well it it makes. me kind of like uncomfortable because. I'm like I don't want to tell them I I. don't want to be like I know but but I. had Express so somebody. I'm like a name name but I was talking.
to you at the comedy store and then when. I we departed another common character. because who is that and I go I wanted to. say this oh that girl. she's got a career and you don't I was. like but. [Laughter]. but she is but I know who she is no but. it was like one of those things where. it's like I want to you know really just. you know go no that's the future well. it's like just have you ever had it. where like somebody gives you.
um tags or joke notes that you quite. frankly don't want tags or joke notes. from yeah that [ __ ] Breaks My Soul To. Pieces when somebody I have had so much. when somebody gives you like a tag or a. joke note that you're like do you think. I would listen to you like the person. you'd want to give you a joke note or a. tag yeah that works in every career like. the person you would want to give you. filmmaking script notes director they. would never give them to you yeah I have. a text I want to show you this happened. to me you've heard the phrase those who.
can't tag those who can't tag. it's just crazy to me when I've had. people do that and you're like I would. look like an [ __ ] if I said anything. other than oh cool man so this guy right. here right I tried a joke for the first. time last week okay but that's he's. trying to fix the joke yeah but I. already knew what the problem was yeah I. see it no that's not that's not the joke. right so what I'm saying is I tried it. the second time now it's a part of my. repertoire it's doing well right yeah. but it's that [ __ ] that I get all.
the time it's the wrong thing yeah it's. the wrong thing you saw who it's from. yeah yeah yeah yeah but that would but I. think that's I think this is a lesson. for people in life to get back to. listeners for all of our fans. uh don't think you're bigger than you. are is that what it is because when. people think they're bigger than they. are. I didn't see that coming well don't. think that you can impart your sh like. your [ __ ] don't offer advice unless. somebody wants it yeah if I want to give. a tag because sometimes I like giving. tags to my friends yeah I know them.
really well but I always go like. hey can I give you a tag because I don't. want to just go up and give it you know. yeah but you know there's a rhythm to it. yeah you find a good time and also you. get it if it's me and him it would be a. it would just it's you there you know. when it's appropriate yeah you everybody. [ __ ] knows everybody knows the rhythm. of it where you'd be like if I came to. you and I said privately I was like Bob. when you did that and the you know you. know what you know what you know be. [ __ ] amazing yeah but you'd take that.
differently than when somebody. just throw stuff at you that you don't. know that well like Griffin does it all. the time and 60 of the time he's right. yeah and I listen to him yeah sometimes. I go I don't think so but like sometimes. like oh I'll try it you know what I mean. but you got to do it in his voice I. can't try hey man. you gotta do it this way man you gotta. do it this way Bob so anyway um. wow what an interesting podcast today. we've been all over the place. how close are we to getting you in your.
own apartment. really close I'm just waiting uh to. decide what to do like when the tour. comes out if we're gone for a whole. month I feel like I shouldn't get the. place right before we go yeah so I'm. like wait to get the place after we get. back. and just you can oh honestly and this is. gonna sound you're not gonna do this but. if you literally needed some help. financially you can always go to us well. thank you guys you know that right but. this whole thing is another stream of.
income so it's already been such a great. help I I'm calculating my income and. everything and I'm I'm doing better than. I thought it was I just want you to I. want you to get your own we'll help you. I think I can do it and you guys are. helping me you know you go so long with. making so little that now that I'm. starting to make a little bit more I'm. like afraid to spend it because I'm. afraid it's going to end but what's. happening is I'm only getting more. opportunities so I just need to take the. jump and the risk and just do it so if. you look at your bank account you can. seal rise in your savings yeah that's.
awesome yeah and I think I'm ready to to. get the place but now it's just a timing. thing yeah when we get back yeah because. I I could get it I could like go out and. look but I don't you think it'd be it. better to wait until after we're gone. for almost two months prom maybe but. also maybe it'd be nice to come home to. a place that's your I mean I don't know. yeah it would support it either way. we'll figure it out either way because. we want you to have your own place it'll. be really exciting because at one point. in your life you're not going to ever.
live alone again. what do you mean well you either get. married and live with somebody. or like Bobby where you have a house. full of vigilante [ __ ] Filipinos you. know this week they're moving it makes. me what yeah they're packing it's so sad. oh God I think it's amazing it's gonna. be so lonely wait where's everybody. going they got a house in the. Philippines no. in L.A they're letting them stay yes I. thought you were like a guardian I. called.
I didn't say I called them wait so they. got a house yeah oh wow the girls are. gone yeah they're leaving what would you. like would you like me to move in. we should we'd have so much fun if we. lived together we would kill each other. no because we're I'm never home and. you're always home oh that's true you'd. be there and I'm never there yeah but. then you're gonna make me get stuff well. like what get the cheese. [Laughter]. of course with you I know we would. [ __ ] order Amazon delivery I know but.
can I get the cheese for you yeah. I want to get the Mexican cheese so wait. let's be real for a second okay you you. are gonna be living alone yeah are you a. little scared I'm really it's sad job. because now we're like I'm like take the. take the left take the lamp oh my God. it's like that yeah what about the. animals the animals are gone all of them. the four dogs yes oh my God so nothing's. gonna be no one else the cats are at the. house yes are you gonna get a dog at the. house again no that's it yeah you're not.
gonna I can't do dog you love dogs. hungry. but you're done yeah. so give me be real no jokes. your first thought when you when you. think about you have being in the Home. Alone what's your very first thought the. ghost of your mind. silence. you can invite girls over no. yeah but. you know what's what's great about my. house it is true.
there's always. people there and there's laughter. communal and communal and camaraderie a. sense of family yeah and when that's. gone it's gonna be an empty cold house. how can you change that. you know what you could do is invite. over more friends I was gonna say human. trafficking okay yeah that's a good idea. okay that's a good idea that's actually. a really really good idea what I was. gonna say but I think that's wrong but I. think you can invite over more friends.
why don't you why don't you invite more. people over. yeah you know what you could do you. could do like the Paulie thing. just befriend up and come and comment. let them stay at your house. well this is a message to all young guys. out there right now go up to Bobby did. that to you didn't you stay in policy. you stayed at Polly's house you stayed. in the studio right yeah yeah I paid. rent yeah and it wasn't a part of his. house it was a completely different. building but then you can do this where. you don't make the guys and girls pay. rent that live with you you just want. the camaraderie and the family in the.
community I'll tell the door guys right. now yes juice do that we can all stay. with you yeah you can you could spend. the night one night I have a bed one. night well I can't move all my stuff I. just want to be real let's be real it's. gonna be lonely I've got an idea yeah. this is actually perfect this is perfect. to what we just talked about. juice gets out of her place before we go. on tour stores all her [ __ ] at your. house yes so when she comes back she. doesn't have to pay for this place that. she isn't living at she stores at your.
house then she spends a little bit of. time at your house downstairs. in the bedroom downstairs then when we. get back allergic to cats no I love cats. all right so you can stay there so let. her put your stuff in you for a couple. one month a couple months two months. okay no no no things got weird though if. I lived with you what way I don't know. like. um I'm hanging out in the kitchen and. you come home with a young girl and you. don't hang out you don't hang out in the. kitchen first okay stay in my room stay. in your [ __ ] room okay well you. downstairs there's a bathroom and you.
know um a bedroom. and you have all the little thing. fixings down there you're not gonna like. open the door and and like move me or. something nope and do what like a. meerkat what'd you say Moon me or. something. she takes off and she doesn't talk to us. I know I can tell and then we're and. then we're like and then the boys call. her and they're like and Fancy's like. Hey Jessie I've called you three times. it's um we have to shoot tonight what. are you yeah yeah and she a text comes. in from her phone and says this is. Jesse's assistant yeah Jesse we'll get.
back to you when she's here assistant. yeah or she comes to the store she sees. us in the hallway and she goes the other. way around oh oh that would burn she. goes to the office kitchen way yeah. you're right well she's fancy like that. I do that a lot I go through the kitchen. way yeah sometimes I don't want to say. hi who does it the most though out of. YouTube oh yeah Sebastian's the king of. there what out of me I do it a lot yeah. you and Sebastian both do that but. occasionally there will be a night where. you'll like talk to everybody and it's. fun but Sebastian's like in and out in.
and out yeah I do talk to people. sometimes I just sometimes I just want. to I just want to go in the store but. because then you have to say hi to. everybody on the Patty what am I like. yeah you're very social yeah you love it. yeah you get there early and you leave. late thank you it's fun thank you for. being a bad friend. [Music]. never once has someone gone when you.
walk it imagine okay but here's why if. you walk in you if they go hi and you go. hey but if they went why'd he say Hello. in Korean. they'd be like there's outside. no he slipped that's right I slipped I. slept I do it again that was like my. words like yeah. why do why don't you guys have a little. fun add-ins like Japanese always like. because because 20 000 years ago when.
they were developing the language I. wasn't there you should dude because if. I was at that meeting oh there'd be all. kinds of crazy stuff. yeah yeah different things. [Music]. laughs. [Music].
