The Magic Lick | Ep 191 | Bad Friends

Carlos um you know I've known you for a. long time and I thought that I trusted. you and then um Andreas I mean you look. like a guy that doesn't prank and that. is an honest one as well and when you. guys shock me doing that Hollywood thing. Halloween episode it was a real betrayal. and I and I and you guys mock me still. yeah you know what I mean cuz when I. came here today you still you had the. shocked caller on the table just to make. fun of not funny that was not funny that. wasn't funny at all and I was I was. being real like you're lucky you have a. job.

yeah we apologize no you didn't no we're. we're apologize well they're doing it. now you're doing it now you're. apologizing now yeah well let's see rud. did you accept the apology from these. guys was it really painful is this. here's what they told me that it was. fake and so you don't you're not like. anticipating it yeah so you're. completely relaxed yeah and then when it. hits you like that it it it doesn't it's. it hurts but it hurts your soul I bet. it's kind of shocking to get something.

like that to hit you like that traumatic. to my neck right it wakes you up a yeah. it's like my neck. neck that's what it was and you can say. that you can't cut that you don't have. to cut that out sorry for yeah you did. you did that and you know and the and my. neck said no sorry Bob mhm yeah you you. told us once that you would do anything. for comedy so we thought okay longwinded. not a real apology no no I oh so it's my. fault no yeah dude oh my God what a. Twist he put it on you it's my fault I.

hit you because you you you made me no I. will hit you because you make me hit you. that's what it is right I don't want to. hit you I hit you but you make your eyes. and your face make me want to hit you oh. yeah yeah but yeah I'm sorry Bobby you. didn't deserve it that's right I can. make fun of you dude I know you know. that I mean there's other things I look. at your face and everything about you I. I have things I can say yes you me but I. don't I hold my tongue you do right so.

good yeah you two are bad friends who. are these two idiots a white dude and an. Asian dude you two are. disgusting you two are something we're. bad friends wait is this the real. Invisible candy that we're talking about. candy I'm talking about this is what. we're talking about this I don't know. what this called that's right I'm on the. box look at you on the package I'm on. the package and I remember it does come. with with stickers yeah it's pretty cool. yeah have you had one of these yeah I. they're way better than way better than. the White Lotus whatever you know the.

song b and rice r cand Rice I like B. rice candy is this what you have back in. the old country get in the hole the. Americans up coming get in the hole. we're going to build a trail boom boom. boom a sound of the bombs boom boom boom. goes a sound of the. boms prob one I'm about to I got to open. it up welcome back to the bad Friends. Podcast where we're trying out some. brand new botan rice candy oh my God. Carlos just won't interest anybody.

except for you and me but Dwight Howard. oh yeah it's insane Bobby do you know. who this is oh yeah dude the one that's. singing Taylor Swift that's exactly. right the football player Dwight Howard. is a famous NBA player who got caught he. got caught hooking up with the dudy dudy. and that's not a problem that's okay not. the first time that's okay but he's got. allegations that it wasn't okay that the. guy wasn't in you know it's an it's an. essay wait wait wait it's an essay it's. an assault so he assaulted another man.

yes how does how do you eat the rapper. you eat it wait you eat the so you eat. this is how you eat this the whole thing. it's so good promise I swear to God it. melts in your mouth does everyone do. this. yes M. cool why you why your face like that oh. this is good honestly you don't like it. oh man you like it there's no flavor. yeah I'm pretty there's no flavor what. the [ __ ] you talking you mean sweet. isn't a flavor I don't taste the sweet. oh it's like you just you know nothing.

it's pretty. flavorless all right let's not chew into. the. M no stick it in your mouth no finish it. it's so gross no finish it finish it. finish it the paper put the paper in. your mouth finish it yeah finish. up okay Bob and I had dinner last night. the most depressing dinner I've ever had. it was a fun dinner with a good friend. an old friend it was [ __ ] depressing. we had a very good time good friend. though good friend depressing and you.

had tuna tartar I had stomach aches I. hate that place really yeah my tummy. hurt it was terrible well maybe because. of the cream yeah you did drink a lot I. drink a lot of cream this guy's are. cream lactose intolerant cream Drinker I. love the cream but my point is is that. and then my tummy started hurting and. then I laugh but it was fine didn't you. enjoy the the experience with an old I. love him because he's um an old friend. an old friend is it nice to see old. friends do you have any old friends car.

it's when I see you guys no but Andrew. though is like you know like you see a. show like 30. something what what are you talking. about I'm not a sitcom from. 95 I this is just can I just say. something yeah when you're in that. setting you cross your legs like this. mhm he does and he like he's like a. normal guy like you know I mean so um so. how's your weeks been you know how how. you feeling he's like a normal guy he go. into normal mode yeah but me I'm still.

I'm the guy that I'm like where's the. cream you know I mean I want my c order. the cream you know you I'm crazy you. know but he's like you know he he's. dressed nice yeah he looks like a normal. allamerican man we went out to a nice. dinner you should have dressed up a. little bit it was a nice restaurant I. didn't know I it sounded like a hot dog. joint it is a hot dog joint it's a nice. high-end hot dog joint uh oh hot dogs. presented by m yeah but it was a nice. dinner the valet that was nice.

right by my house which is I've never. even heard of it you couldn't be closer. to your house and then I went to the. store and I had a poo between [ __ ]. shows it was terrible have you pooed in. the main room Green Room every time I'm. in there there's no door it's two. swinging saloon doors I know that's why. I like it so wet I love showcasing you. do no I tell well so there's two parts. of the Green Room there's like the where. people Lounge you've been in there mhm. and then there's a door so whenever I'm. in there I'm like hey I tell everyone. I'm going to take a [ __ ] don't go in. here. you announce I got I make a.

noise I have an announcement to make. what is it what is it I poo poo Oh yay. how am I eating this again yeah are you. sure you eat the outside of this didn't. it melt in your mouth no I feel like. it's in my teeth yeah it melt in your. mouth can I say something about your poy. to Bobby no please no no you may not. actually I'll say it okay go ahead but. let me say something I have beef in my. car do what do I have in my car butcher. box yeah butcher box a lot of meat a lot.

of meat yeah you want the meat right. watch what you say okay every time I. clean your toilet there's so much poo. stains we'll be right back we'll be. right back yeah thank you guys we'll be. right back there's so much of pooa. stains yeah and they're like so sticky. you can't take it off oh your your poo. is dry no you have dry poo no I usually. don't have so much stains and they're so. sticky I poo shrapnel I have to brush it.

for like 30. minutes good it's on purpose it's on. purpose I don't understand why it's so. sticky he pushes. harder when it shoots out it why do we. always have to talk about poo let's get. off of it yeah yeah yeah but can I say. something it's the. cream and I got to cut down on the cream. yeah yeah yeah what have you been doing. Rudy I've been watching One Piece. nonstop love one piece two piece is. better though what.

I don't know anime one piece mhm yeah. yeah let me see let me see it one piece. anime two piece Min what are we talking. about yeah so this is it welcome to one. pce look at the guy in the front he's. even going One Piece One pie it's a. bunch of pirates and I've been and the. one to the right is that uh with the. Pinocchio nose you're telling me all. these people are pirates yeah yeah but. is the guy with the lung is he a li is. he a liar yeah he's a liar the biggest.

liar because of he's Pinocchio then oh I. didn't notice that do you know what. Pinocchio is yeah what do you mean I. never realized that the guy with the. long nose well let me when he tells a. lie does his nose grow no it doesn't. grow but it's oh he lied so much it's at. its peak yeah yeah I didn't realize that. what's the story of One Piece can we. guess okay go so the guy with the nose. right he's not the main character I. understand but he's on the the poster.

right so he's like you know series. regular okay Co he had to audition. probably test mhm right he probably had. a test I think they run a train on that. girl on the left and the guy with the. nose used to be the king but now this. guy with his big dick finger is in the. dude that's where I'm yeah that's the. head guy well she was she met the guy. with the long nose first yeah of course. and she's like oh I'm this is the guy I. want to sit on your face yeah and he's. got the his nose is bigger than any dick. I've ever had looks like but then she. runs into the ring the finger the. monster Finger monster finger and now.

the guy in the long nose is like look at. his hand he's like what about my nose. he's trying to make it look it's big. isn't it yeah you yeah yeah and he's. like no but my finger's bigger and she. look at her how happy she is she's. stoked and the two guys in the back are. just Mafia bosses what they look like. Mafia bosses yeah the one with the green. hair is so hot zoom in what do you mean. when you say hot what's hot about him. yeah that guy's hot he barely has any.

facial features that guy no that's not a. good picture find another he has no nose. no nose okay just do Zoro one piece Zoro. that's his name Zoro uhhuh do you flick. your bean to this stuff. what do you strum the guitar to this you. get look. look that guy's hot oh my God I'm so. confused it's it's so stupid you know. why because he has two abs and two ABS.

by he only two abs look at that he's. he's got a two a scars a scar on his. face look at how big his mouth yeah huge. teeth but he uses three swords I mean. this is Downy downsy downsy yeah oh. there's oh that's a that's the live. action version live are they doing live. action. yeah wait you don't like that you like. the animation more than the real Guy. animation is there anything for me can I. be the long note oh you look up Nami. yeah here this is what I'm going to. audition for Nam oh that's the photo.

that's yeah wa oh so that's why you like. them right what is that no is it not. Zoro stop faking it what is I've never. seen that before look at that penis zoom. in on the penis that's the piece in one. piece yeah yeah oh that's the. piece oh look at so much cream so much. my stomach hurts right now just by. looking at that so one piece is your. this is your this is your everything my. everything right now what is it about. though cuz I think probably wrong it's.

you know that guy with the big finger so. he's the captain and he wants to be the. king of the Pirates and to be the king. of the Pirates is to be the strongest. and to be the most powerful and so they. go on a lot of adventures together and. you just see so many like characters and. different powers because he ate a devil. fruit and he's a rubber. guy and so he can like he can he can be. big he ate devil fruit and now he's the.

rubber guy yeah I think I'm gonna go. home what are you talking about yeah so. none of these people look like I I I'm. the Anime Studio you PCT me the show. okay check this out hold hold on tell me. about the characters okay so the. characters you're going to love so there. so the show is called One Piece One. Piece is what they look like shut up. this is my assistant sorry it's my. driver the you you have to fire her. because she loudmouth so it's called. thanks for coming here it's called tell.

one piece what about and there's five. Pirates six Pirates okay five and six. six Pirates five or six one of six but. one one of them is the leader and he's. got a big oh but let me ask you this I. love the photo thank you the little guy. right there what that that's you sir. it's a reindeer oh that me yeah we did. thank you for including me yeah we. incorporated you in the game you thank. you time out that's a reindeer you uhhuh. and he also ate a devil fruit so he can. go half human half animal this who this. your assistant my driver yeah tell her.

shut [ __ ] up you can't please be shut. [ __ ] up but I know one p you don't know. the show hold on she cre she's crazy no. she. created she's crazy oh she crazy oh I. see anyway continue and so so you see. the woman on the right with the big tits. which one oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. the orange the redhe head that you I. knew you'd get it that's me that you. that you that's who I really want yeah I. see and two per two can I ask this thing. just do the transition why create us the.

show if we sell the show I'm going to. have the money to do it oh just like the. wasas brother that's right and two. people to the right is you sir and the. yellow there that is a depiction of you. the little one I thought they the little. one was me well that's just for that's. that's you in the game but you in our. brain is the guy on the far right oh. thank you mhm and then who is the gay. guy in the gr can we cut him out in the. green in the green I don't like at all. that's Zozo Zoro Zoro Zoo that's zoo I I.

I prefer Zoo it's Zoo because Zoro is. hacky right Zoro is a guy that exists. stealing right stealing yeah yeah what. about the woman that look like my. mom she's an. archaeologist yeah [ __ ] right yeah. really you think that woman's digging up. [ __ ] yeah she wore a [ __ ] big titted. top and a grass skirt to dig up the. Earth yeah no tool what an ill she use a. titty to [ __ ] but she has powers. where she can create more.

limbs oh God I'm so sick of this what's. a devil this is pissing me off explain. me devil flute it's uh it's what all the. the Filipinos call their private. parts oh devil fruit yeah I've eaten. devil fruit I know you have tastes like. ballut and then uh what is rubber man. what explain me rubber man oh rub who. what is a rubber man well you said he. ate the double root and the rubber man. the rubber man yeah a rubber man do you. have any friends friends that are into. like glory holes oh I have one friend in.

my company we have a we have a janitor. name is Carlos years ago he used to work. for a batt friend company all right yeah. but then he said the andw so many times. he did yeah yeah and he did so many. Glory Glory [ __ ] yeah you know I do I. know them I've never seen one but I but. this guy go in all the time he Liv in. there so that guy what that guy Carlo. he's a rubber man now it makes sense. right yeah mhm what's a glory hole. oh you ask well we have something here.

let's see it this is a true story that. happened this week um a girl yeah a girl. in uh Amsterdam a British girl was um. sucking a dick in a glory hole and when. she turned on some sort of light at this. really fancy Glory Hall it was revealed. that it was her. dad and this and we have a voice note. from one of the friends I want to hear. it okay go ahead all right it's pretty. good to story because I'm literally. telling everyone it's so horrific so my.

friend Amia who I was with yesterday. she's got a mate called Ellie who's in a. house share in London and um Ellie. shares with like a bunch of girls and. one of the girls was telling her she's. just been on a Hu to Amsterdam where the. Stag and the hen went at the same time I. think they were were just like a mixed. social group who kind of like knew each. other but then the Stag went one day and. the hen one way and the H went the. other for people that don't know stago. and hu are Bachelor party that's what.

that means dude got super drunk and went. into one of these boobs with like a. glory hole and so a girl on the other. side stuck his dick through so the girl. was just drunk and started sucking him. off but it was one of these ones. apparently where like if like he pushes. a button and the guy pushes the button. on the other side they can kind of see. who's on the other side like it makes it. like transparent like a window so they. can see and so being drunk she thought. it' be hilarious to push this button. just to see H you been sucking.

off uhhuh and so she pushes the button. and looks up and it's her dad on the. other side I'll tell you how that make. I'll tell you where it could have even. been worse imagine if you went to a. glory Hall imagine a penis comes through. it's your dead. Dad it's my dead tag he's dead he's dead. so before it was cold then. your tongue gets stuck to it like it's a.

pole do you really think this happened I. don't know this. girl but if I was do we know this girl. no a glory hole Rudy is just a place. where adults go and they put their. genitals through a literal hole in the. wall and they don't know who's on the. other side and they get pleasure what. and somebody else sucks that from the. other side yeah in this scenario there. was a door like a window thing yeah and. then they got to see each other that's. just scary Carlos. all the time they she found the hole at.

a place called cuckoldplace.com I guess. that's like the name of a oh Carlos play. dumb I guess that's a website that. you've literally been to 100 how' you. get the story [ __ ] face yeah that's the. story what would you do I mean it was. your daughter KMS you would I killed. myself yeah on the site or you make a. deal yeah I me to deal with the devil. just that moment when I put my dad no. you make a deal with your dad don't ever. tell anybody no that's just Dad. very good by the way but nice pis but.

don't tell M let's not even this never. happen Okay and then at the you know. Christmas is weird he's gonna be drunk. at a party and you're GNA [ __ ] beat. him in a game of Scrabble and he's be. like remember that time you sucked my. dick oh yeah he's GNA do that every time. that's what dads do that's true they. they hold that stuff that would they ter. like what would happen i' I'd bleach my. tongue and then kill myself yeah you. want to get it off the tongue first yeah. yeah yeah garle it what does it say on.

your shirt property property of it's. another anime show hey so are you aren't. you are you going to outgrow anime at. some point I don't think so no you'll do. it forever forever hello fresh you guys. you know um I love food yeah you do but. I love good food yes and whenever I. drive up to my um driveway at my house. and I see a hello fresh box I get super. excited because I get to um be a chef. par get a little you get to be a little. boy chef and with hellofresh you get.

farm fresh pre-portioned ingredients and. seasonal recipes delivered right to your. doorstep you can skip trips to the. grocery store and count on hellofresh to. make home cooking easy fun and. affordable that's why it's America's. number one meal I have a question. hosting this holiday yeah well. hellofresh Market has just what you need. to please a crowd without the hassle. from photo worthy chuder boards to. mouthwatering desserts let me tell you. something it's the most wonderful time. of the year the holidays are coming. hanging out with friends and family uh. is hectic sometimes but hellofresh makes.

it so much easier because these. ingredients travel straight from the. farm to your door you know they're fresh. it's already pre-or so you can get. cooking very quickly and serving the. people that you love that's right uh. we've been using hellofresh for quite a. long time both of us I do love it very. much I'm not a good cook I'm not I'm. only good at maybe following exact. directions hellofresh lays it out so. simple for you uh they can choose from. over 45 weekly recipes and over 100. curated picks from hellofresh Market go. to hellofresh.com badf friendsfree and. use code bad Friends free for free.

breakfast for life Wow one breakfast. item per box while subscription is. active that's free breakfast for life at. hellofresh.com badf friendsfree with. code badf friendsfree hellofresh. America's number one meal kit display. display is a one-of-a-kind metal poster. designed to capture you your new unique. passions display created a 21st century. canvas that's sturdy magnet Mountain end. durable enough to withstand a lifetime. of intense staring and loving listen to. this thing man it's incredible you can. customize collect and rearrange all of. these fun fun displays so listen guys.

when I was an a kid you know I used to. have these Duran Duran posters on my. wall and within months they were like. ripped off and they got they got wet and. weird Sun faded Sun faded with these. never happen baby it's not going to. happen listen it's tough I used to have. a Kathy Ireland poster my dad got me. yeah and he goes don't wear out the. poster which made me sick to my stomach. but now you don't have to worry about. that because this thing is tough and. durable and beautiful displ has over 1. million designs guys including Star Wars. Elden ring Marvel Harry Potter Lord of.

the Rings and many many many more each. artwork is assly conveyed to your. doorstep within four five days four to. five days is pretty incredible they're. also eco-friendly for every design sold. they're planting one tree we need trees. to live buy one of these okay. introducing displays ingenious magnet. mounting system un unequivocal. Testaments to the harmonious alation. Amal amalgamation introducing displates. ingenious magnet mounting system an. unequivocal Testament to the harmonious. amalgamation of convenience and security. liberating you from the cumbersome task.

of wall drilling this remarkable. solution boasts unparalleled Simplicity. requiring a mere 20 seconds to. accomplish it's that easy let me tell. you something we're giving you guys a. higher discount use the link in the. description go to displate.com badri and. use the code bad friends at the checkout. to get 23% off for one to two displates. or 34% off for three or more displates. displ collect your passions what have. you been doing in your life I want to. know what you been doing I've been. taking a birth control and I've been. going crazy what the what is going on.

you've been taking a birth control yeah. and I'm like going crazy I'm like mad I. want to kill someone why did you start. taking birth control at 22 because my. acne I don't even care about sex it's. just my acne That Tito Bobby bullies me. every time you don't have acne he's the. one with a pimple patch on right now. because I've been taking the person she. doesn't have acne I don't bully you you. bully me every time you see me I go. Rocky out high when I look at your face. I know I do that but that's aoke it's a.

joke wait a minute so you're 22 years. old now right 21 okay 21 when you turn. 22 next month yeah you're 22 shut up 22. I can't believe it I remember you were. in high school I know it was insane. started this show when she was in high. school that's incredible so you're 22. and you just started taking birth. control who told you to do this your. doctor yeah why cuz of my acne and then. she said oh just take the new ring it's. like a small they're always just shoving. is that funny how Qui they are to just. prescribe stuff why would you take it.

don't take it wait it's this big what. are you talking about the circle and you. just put it put in your but hole why in. the butthole that's where I put mine oh. I put mine there yeah put myver ring up. my butthole yeah so you put it in there. yeah and it just stays there for three. weeks and then I'm just and you're are. you I don't want to are you still seeing. that guy yeah how's that. going how's that how's that going fine. we haven't.

we haven't done it but in like four. months so it's fine. why cuz I don't know I'm just not 4. months that is at at 21 years old I was. spewing with Seaman I was dripping out. of my eyeballs okay but you're a guy. she's waiting for Sor. Sor if he dyed his hair green would it. be yeah tell your guy to dye his head no. I need the real. no but why four mon really four months.

yeah I just don't like sex right now. yeah that's okay I'm actually better off. with that side no I like this yeah I. mean I like it I like that you're not. but it's like save yourself for for. marriage marriage whatever no I'm not. save I just right now I'm not no I mean. save the save it for someone that you. want to obviously it sounds like you're. going to break up really yeah what 21y. old is it's over. how are you hooking up with someone once. every four months that you're dating.

it's over doesn't make sense you know. it's over right yeah I still like him I. like like yeah you like hanging out with. him as a friend no not a friend no. you're not a friend do you guys kiss. still Peck oh but no tongue no I don't. like it this guy goes home and cries at. night is that a generational thing no. some people don't want tongues in their. mouth do you like tongue your tongue no. you've tonged my tongue yeah I have yeah. I kind of like it yeah so my boy my. point is you do do and your wife's still.

tongue when you get married there is. moments for for tongue kissing but. during the course of the day oh you. don't no not during the day no but. there's moments when tongue kissing is. yeah but it's it's not as frequent as it. was when you're young and but you still. you're still Oppo not opposed to it no I. like it but but it's situation dependent. she doesn't like it okay but it's the. same thing as I don't like you know. touching and like oh intimacy like the. key ingredients to having relationship. yeah you like any you don't like.

physical affirmation no you don't want. him to touch you even like hug you don't. like him no even when he does that I'm. yeah that's not it's dead it's a dead. thing like that's why are you doing this. with your eyes CU I'm sweating I'm being. honest yeah yeah do you think I'm not. making a joke do you think maybe you. don't like boys Le I'm lesbian I didn't. say it it's okay if you were but do you. think maybe you don't like boys I don't. know I think Kila thinks I'm a lesbian. that's cuz she's a lesbian like she.

keeps I really she is she dated you for. the longest. time well Sarah when I dat as soon as I. you flipped so many women yeah Sarah. Highland I was dating for years and then. when I we broke up she went with she. never went back to men I am I the. [ __ ]. last what was that movie where nobody. can compete what was the movie where. every woman slept with a guy so they. could get married finally what was that. called Dane Cook movie yeah what was. that called Good Luck Chuck yeah you're.

[ __ ] you're Dane Cook you're good luck. you're good luck Chuck for women wow. you've made two girls go to the other. team I know maybe honestly maybe you. don't like boys or maybe you don't like. this boy but maybe you don't like boys. maybe maybe you don't like anybody you. could be uh what is it asexual right or. no is that right yeah yeah maybe I don't. know yeah maybe people don't interest. you sexually and you're just want to I. just like being like in their company.

but not like touching or like physical. you sound like you don't cuddle. error like when we're watching a movie. you don't go like I'm just like that and. then he's there and then when he tries. I'm just like no yeah yeah wow that must. be heartbreaking it's so heart yeah he's. got to leave how old is he. 21 God yeah he's got to get out ID this. idiot what an idiot he's got to be. heartbroken but I'm nice it's just yeah. we know hey guy you know who I'm talking. to break it up break it up it's not.

working it's not working yeah find. somebody else so you think I why don't. you just be single why are you in a. relationship if you don't really like. this guy so much it's your it's your. family dude my family yeah it's in the. blood dude me I've dated your family. staying with someone for too long no. they're just like you know no yeah I get. it get out get out yeah it's shit's. weird man I'll think about it tuck tuck. you got to get out tuck tuck let me tell. you how much love Filipinos my physical.

therapist is. Filipino love this guy Lo love he uses. all those Filipino tricks of the trade. that you guys have back there like what. he hits me in the back with uh um little. tiny like little sticks with bugs all. over them he says that's from the home. country that's what he says and it's. getting all the impurities out of my. back he licks my feet which I think he. said is a thing that they do in the. Philippines do you lick feet well I had. a cousin that they he they said that he.

had she had like healing saliva so she. would just like everyone and that it. would heal. everything so I did make my part up but. it is so beautiful that yours was real. you had someone who are she's like the. Filipino. theovon I know yeah like M money my B. would lick the sickness right out of you. it's insane that's I've never heard. anything like that that's crazy saying. the saliva was had magical powers. everyone thought that she had magical.

powers because every time she would lick. like something would like heal right. yeah it would heal wow it like their. Wolverine just close right up that's. insane some kid of the neigh does like a. broken arm like come over here like. broke whoa that's what she did and you. saw it first yeah have you been healed. by her M no I no no we got to see this. my sister was like had this um a fever.

and she licked her. forehead there's no way way no there's a. way she did that I sure she did it and. the girl got healed from embarrassment. she was like I'm okay now yeah she could. have died that night she wouldn't have. told anybody she was so embarrassed yeah. maybe it's psychological well everyone. thought so I believed it yeah yeah okay. my grandmother yeah how many people in. your village had magical powers my Lola.

my grandma like you said with your. physical therapist he would hit me with. bug sticks not he she didn't use and I. made that up but she used like leaves. and stuff and she would like put it on. like the wo yeah Palm FR like Palm FR. yeah that's that's not magical that's. not magical that's ancient Chinese Tech. yeah M there was this old lady who we. thought was like a mananga. oh a man well we've had three of those.

growing up I had three manal growing up. I used to have a manal underneath my. balls like a year and a half I had to. get it removed so expensive though. they're like $3,000 a month to rent one. it's a mythical creature exactly and. they're hard to find yeah they really. are yeah yeah so so you thought you. someone in your village was a man angal. yeah and then there you know where you. can find a manal in the taint of a. Bigfoot that's right that's where man. yeah yeah they cling on right you know. how like sometimes sharks they have.

other fishes that that clean their skin. that's what a man does to a Bigfoot so. that's how I got mine and a lus monster. if you can find one okay I have another. one I have another one so they said that. okay so there was like a bunch of like. pregnant women in my Village yeah and. then they said that there was this lady. an old lady that would come at night and. then she had like a really long. tongue and then she would go to their. room and would lick the baby the baby.

would. die. what what wait a minute wait so those. were these women getting an abortion I. don't know and they blamed it on a long. tonged woman yeah yeah yeah they were. just shoving hangers up there and were. just like he has like a Planned. Parenthood [ __ ] yeah walk that's what. my grandma told me that's what your. grandma said she would go down on women. maybe she was related to the other lady. with the tongue yeah the lick lady the. lick lady the lick family the lick. family yeah yeah one kills one heals I'm.

Bing lick mm lick yeah that's insane. yeah so she the the the myth that I. really this is why I love the. Philippines they have they believe they. all believe that perhaps this woman. could tongue could go inside of another. woman and kill the baby and they believe. that yeah everybody believes that yeah. we were scared yeah I was I'm scared now. scared scared now you know that's insane. yeah and my mom was pregnant and then I. kept like I was so scared for her you. think that the long tongue was going to. come yeah yeah was now was the woman's.

name long tongue is that a Filipino name. long tongue no I don't know I forgot her. name something stick out your tongue is. your tongue long whoa that is a long. tongue that's a long tongue dude you. could be it you could have the thing I'd. do that you'd kill babies with your. tongue lunatic lick a baby you lunatic. she blows gu he's. like it must you're killing it killing. it yeah yeah but I think what we. learning is that Rudy needs to go. through a serious unfortunate breakup.

and we can be there for you but I do. think you need to get you need to break. up how are you going to do. it no I can't do it all right Bobby is. the kid whatever his name is Bobby's him. break up with him now hey je how you. going doing don't do that accent that's. what it sounds like you want it to be. real or not yo je what are you. doing does he call her Jew I don't know. okay okay Joey mhm yeah yeah what's up. it's me you want to go watch a movie no.

let's talk oh [ __ ] what do you want to. talk about okay well first of all can I. say something to you okay the first time. I ever saw you it was like I seeing. myself and. being oh I'm too loud first. time me first me first me first no can I. say something first though no no no no. me first I'm going to tell you just. something I never felt love no no I. never I never felt love in my life I. didn't even know what love was until I. met you and then once I met you I was I.

felt like I was at home okay done okay. done hold on let me finish let me. because I have I wrote this down and I I. I want to get this off my chest why are. you seeing it now because because I. don't know it's just what a beautiful. day what a beautiful day and today I. have the courage to do it all right so I. also want to say can I tell you. something okay it's like um I would do. anything for you I would lay my life. down for you and it's so weird because. we're not family or nothing like like. that you know I wouldn't even do that. with my own dad but with you I would die.

for you do you know why I love you your. soul hey guys I met you tatina P roll oh. thank you so much we love you you love. the CH P roll what what are you guys. talking about yeah anyway tell me what. you were going to say to me I'm your mom. I I don't know Mom you love you make the. great P Pizza World on the world what. did you want to say to my son oh ta this. is private you can go okay I can say. stay because remember I told you last. night yeah about how her yeah you don't.

she doesn't give you. head I know aside from that okay yeah. yeah yeah okay I said yeah no tongue no. tongue work no tongue I will St yeah. anyway um is it yeah what is it uh tell. you want to watch a movie no no I'm okay. here yeah mom stay here I will yeah tell. me what you're about to say to me okay. joey yes love of my. life sueme he really does love you I. love.

you so rude that's my mom don't don't sh. my mom oh sorry sorry okay Joey yeah. yeah yeah yeah listen I'm listening. love okay sweet love. go oh shut up oh so sexy don't say that. to my son he will. come when you tell him to okay Joey Joey. Joey I'm about to come right now joeyy. let's be serious yeah I don't I don't. like you.

anymore I think I mom do you have a. mirror at do you have a mirror at home. have you seen what your face look like I. know out of my house mom go get the. shotgun mom get the shutgun he's going. to kill you no no no no Mom I thought I. was the love of your life no you are. give me the gun mom you got it thank. you oh. yay confess. you broke up with them and that's what's.

going to happen you want to do it though. I can tell yeah no I don't want mhm I. feel like I just want my own space right. now you guys don't live together how. many times a week do you see him no. because we're classmates so I see him. every day at school every day I see. that's what [ __ ] it up what class. biology and chemistry and you're not. excited to see. him no cuz I I just hate school and so I. hate him because I hate.

school yeah how much school you you have. one year. left yeah one year left one year left. one oh wow when you drive then you park. is it is. it are you depressed I'm just not. excited about everything anything. nothing is making you happy right now. except one piece oh my God Zoro Zoro is. the only thing that makes you happy yeah. I've been binging it and I watch it like. until 4:00 a.m. oh my God that's all I like enjoy right.

now she needs medicine I have a question. do you guys have road. rage be spoke post you guys I can't wait. for the holidays because be spoke post. has a box of awesome and what it is it's. the best gifts you can give anybody open. up that box OFW this is the box of. awesome right here no matter uh where. your adventures are going to take you. this fallen into the holidays the box of. awesome is filled and carefully Chosen. and curated for you to things that you. love you can collect every single fun.

thing that they come in and look at this. we're opening up for the first time I. don't in here what's in there oh the. porter lunch box ooh so someone can take. their lunch to work I love stuff like. this huh yeah you little lunch holder. little sandwich holder I'm a big. sandwich holder guy but also that's not. it my friends also huh look at this what. is it it's a that's a lunch sack it's. like a cute little lunch SE go to school. Bo man this stuff is really great um and. also uh they threw in uh utensil set of. stainless steel utensils this is all for. on the-go stuff box of awesome is great.

they have a bunch of boxes guys so to. get started take the quiz of box of. awesome.com your answers will help them. pick the right box of awesome for you. they release new boxes every month. across a ton of different categories. yeah they do man all you got to do is go. to box ofawesome.com let them know what. you like that helps them curate a bunch. of cool stuff for you and the best part. is 90% of everything that comes to your. box is from a small and upand cominging. brand it's free to sign up you can skip. a month or cancel at anytime we've been. doing it for a long time we love their. stuff they make really unique cool stuff. so get 20% off your first monthly box.

when you sign up at box ofawesome.com. enter the code bad friends at checkout. that's box ofawesome.com codee bad. friends for 20% off your first box box. ofawesome.com. code bad friends I shot and killed a guy. on the PC yeah I remember or seven that. was hard that was hard hard hard hard. and I and I got acquitted because it was. self-defense self-defense on not he. tried to hit my car and I they pulled. over pull over they got on the one one. yeah on the 101 yeah and then um that. was tragic but it wasn't even you didn't.

even kill him though you hit him over. the pipe two 23 times something like. that yeah 23 24 times but I got. acquitted. yeah so no not really I don't think I. have it anymore because you know why cuz. it was his pipe the other guy's pipe it. was his it was out his he he got it out. of his hand you and of self-defense he. was swinging like this what pipe what's. pipe. a metal pipe where did you get the pipe. it on the side of the how did they get.

the pipe ear no honestly how did they. get the pipe my friend my super good. friend Mario my super friend Mario. always has pipes on. him okay and then you hit it 22 times 23. 23 the sound of a pipe on someone's head. is Skull I'd say skull pink yeah. yeah crack crack yeah it's okay but you. know what was crazy what what you were. wearing in trial that skirt yeah the. skirt it was crazy that you I wanted to.

show my legs well I think you were. trying to you trying to do the trans. empathy thing well there was a jury. filled with lgbtq plus people so I. figured I wanted so smart yeah you got. to play to your crowd yeah yeah you dyed. your hair purple mhm right it was. incredible we should dye my hair at. least once yeah do I have road rage um. you know what I do is I used to scream. right but then I realized there's. nothing I can do if we pull over so what. I do is I'll put my head down and I look. at my jeans or my pants and I'll so they.

can't see my face you [ __ ] you. scream down. yeah yeah that's I mean that's at least. better than doing something yeah I don't. do anything I just scream downward so. they don't see me do you have road rage. I developed one why why cuz I've been. driving a lot so I've been screaming and. like whenever something happens I. just I just do. that what where are you driving to.

school school work and I'm just like. [ __ ] you do you never get recognized no. from Mad bad friends at school sometimes. like like when I walk after um work. sometimes there's like film students who. say oh are you Rudy yeah what do you say. it's like oh yeah and then what they say. and I say oh can I take a picture I said. yeah sure and then I just run you run. you take fidget photos with them yeah. cuz they ass wow are there any hot guys.

that do it no no if you our fans yeah I. know our fans's noot they're great. people film students he said huh she. said film students they serious people. but she said hot guys there's like what. hot hot people don't like regular people. like our show yeah but they're all. beautiful no they're beautiful in their. own way yeah yeah but they're not. supermodels we don't get supermodels. that's true but you have anyone that's. that you are attracted to that does it. no any girls probably no girls no no.

girls it's all boys that recognize me. yeah yeah it's always boys it's always. boys yeah it's always boys and does it. how does it feel though when that happen. be real I always get shy and I always. look so ugly at school and they ask for. a picture and I'm just like oh but do. you feel popular though or no no do you. ever dress up or is this kind of always. it this is it yeah I dig it you're. allowed to do whatever you want yeah. yeah feel free. the Next Generation I don't think people. I don't think like do you think people.

will wear suits in like 20 years do you. think suits will still be a thing well. suits was a. thing for hundreds of years not hundreds. oh yeah in the early 1800s that suits. their own versions of it yeah different. styles right there's been different. styles of stuff yeah I mean but I don't. think suits will keep going I think. we're at the end of the suit you think. so I think so are we in the age of the. sweats look we're in the age of the.

sweats age of sweats the end of suit Co. finish off Men's Wear that's an American. thing though what do you mean that's. where people dress the. worst what dude have you seen European. jeans with all their little sparkles and. little [ __ ] it's [ __ ] stupid. classy the [ __ ] are you talking about we. dress the worst we're the epicenter of f. fashion dude the [ __ ] are you talking. about yeah but yeah the IND everything. everything that the world likes we did. yeah but you don't wear it yeah we make. it for you losers to.

buy you know what we tell our Chinese. friends to make it for all you idiots to. buy right now could could I say that. America has the best restaurants no I. could say that France probably has the. best in terms of the best restaurants in. the world I don't know I'd say we. probably have the same but but we still. we could we can compete mhm but with. with fashion we beat everyone we do all. the [ __ ] because we we're Multicultural. so we have different kinds of fashion. yeah but here for example kids dress so.

bad at school you know like that's the. The Stylist what do you make kids wear. in Spain yeah I don't know people just. dress up a little more here's like they. wear their pajamas because going to. school is a big deal for you yeah it's. like the Crocs and the pajamas yeah but. it's not a big deal for us right no also. they can't afford to dress up she just. spent 100 Grand on school I think he has. a skewed idea can I can I ask you about. I was at therapy yesterday yeah and we. were talking about high. school and um I asked her I go how do.

you feel about pure couns not pure. counseling career counseling mhm so when. I was a freshman and so every year. actually I would go in and every year we. would have to see this career counselor. and every year they would go yeah just. take wood shop well that's a good to me. right that's actually good because my. grades were terrible I have no skill set. right that's not true no at the time. right I knew that I had these you know. power. mhm you know not the licking powers to. heal the sick but like you know real.

human powers right and um so all through. high school I thought oh I'm a loser I. have no other options because all these. other kids are like oh yeah my career. counselor said I should be an attorney. or an engineer or whatever right and I. got wood shop and steel shop every. [ __ ] did you ever take wood no I. refused to but also my parents are like. no no wood you can't do that Koreans are. scared of wood yeah we're scared of wood. right. Driftwood are you crazy we have [ __ ]. PTSD nightmares about Driftwood yeah.

yeah yeah anyway um fing a tree that's. just oh my God I can't sleep now for a. week I pointed a for a tree if a tree. falls in my dreams will it kill my whole. family yeah yeah yeah probably yeah can. you make anything by hand did you learn. to make anything by hand can you sew I. would make I mean can you sew I can make. like little sculptures with meth scabs. ooh I used to get these meth scabs when. I you did math do you know how to sew no. I feel like that's in your blood a.

little bit Yeah if I I'm sure I could. [ __ ] it up right I put you out in front. of a Singer sewing machine I bet you can. [ __ ] it yeah you want some Nikes dude I. got I got it but um but you know what. sucks is they don't they don't give you. the other options in high school in. America right they don't go okay so um. you're funny like if they said you know. I heard you're funny what direction. would they would they point you in and. they're like what about improv or comedy. but it's not even a this it's not an. option right when it anything.

artistic is an option in American. schools yeah they they don't go all like. well they just say wait till you're done. you'll you'll be better off but they. never even said that they're like wood. shot what does Woodshop mean making. stuff out of wood I know but it's like. that's my only future there's a billion. other things you can do but they don't. [ __ ] Bobby Lee the carpenter how. [ __ ] I would make [ __ ] fer better. than Jesus he actually wasn't good at. all some of his pieces are really bad oh. yeah they're like Ikea Ikea from back. then um they're always missing one knob.

they're like where's the Corgan. scroger why is that gone Jesus um no I I. get that I high school's tough because. it's it's placing you in a very broad. box of [ __ ] when you're like I don't. like any of that stuff yeah I like if. ASA Kira that they said oh you like the. [ __ ] huh you should be a porn star yeah. yeah but now they might do that in. schools they might be like look only. fans is right for you dude that be that. but that's a thing but they they. probably don't do it well we should just. like in my high school pwe high they.

don't view my [ __ ] oh they don't view. what I do as a talent that's why I'm not. in the Hall of Fame right and I agree. with. them in what way because are you in the. Hall of Fame in your school no why would. I be I'm a [ __ ] dick okay what's your. school I'm not in the Hall of Fame no. what's your school what's the school. what's your school what high. school Bartholomew boys are you being. real Bartholomew boys if you're not I. swear to God Bartholomew.

barthol. Bartholomew Bartholomew Bartholomew. boys school boys you went to an old boy. school yes School in what Chicago mhm. Chicago St Bartholomew school that's who. you want mhm well you're not. lying okay and then Andrew Santino what. high school did Andrew C Santino go to. he went to napperville North High School. that's.

right you [ __ ] like piece of [ __ ]. dude Hall of Fame I can't wait yeah. there's no Hall of Fame in yes they do. right. here uh n. okay North Athletics what the [ __ ] see. athletes it's all. athletes athle it's all Athletics. yeah yeah again what we do isn't special. okay no if you go to North napperville.

North High School is that what it is and. you go to um it'll have it Athletics. notable alumni yeah you're a notable. alumni so are you you're a notable. alumni you're just not let me ask if you. know any of these guys Adrien holava oh. God I love hola what did you do he's a. rocket scientist. no James holow James holow was the. Jeopardy champion [ __ ] yeah dude well. everybody knows that he was [ __ ] like. really one of the best champions of all. time yeah let's go to S there we go.

you're in it well yeah a stand-up. comedian yeah but that's it I'm not in. like a Hall of Fame I'm just a guy that. went to school there how does that feel. to be H Bob oder went to your school. yeah the odenir yeah whoa dude uhhuh Bob. that's cool yeah pretty R yeah his is. long comedian actor writer director and. producer a lot of a lot of stuff he. deserves it yeah yeah he's very talented. okay let me ask you who this is huh um. lval Brown played football whoa dude.

that's [ __ ] good no this is not that. hard did you know no I mean no no no can. we do go more try Paul Brittain he was. on. SNL yeah can I ask you why this did you. put on a pimple patch on the pimple on. your chin so what happened this last. night I put a pimple patch on M and then. when I was driving here it looks worse I. know when I was driving here just leave. it as a pimple when I was driving here. yeah I took off the patch and it looks. more noticeable because of the sweater. stop let meish the sweater is yellow.

your skin is yellow let meish the pimple. is yellow and red it's me and you on. your face I know just finish yeah so I. was driving here had the pimple patch. from last night well you left it on you. can't you're not supposed to leave it on. for a whole day but I did good you slept. in it yeah and I looked in the in the. rear the rear view window that mirror. mirror mirror imagine if it was a. window. right and I I I saw a white head me just.

poking up so then I [ __ ] peeled it. yeah I popped it and it was oozing blood. so I took the [ __ ] patch and I put it. back on no idiot that's you D you're. supposed to do when it's dry and not. bleed it yeah and it Dam did it do the. dam effect that I thought it was going. to do let me. see I mean it just looks it looks like a. flooded pimple patch like it's a full. diaper on your chin why do you still. have simp to Bobby you're 50. two and you know what dude that kind of.

talk means you're going to get a lot of. [ __ ] sprayed on the toilets this week. yeah yeah oh you want sprays hold on. stop oh it looks hilarious now now it's. leaking how much money stop can I put. this on you no please can I put this on. you no 10 grand no stop stop I have. pimples what stop it stop it can I just. put it on your face ah. put it on. Andre lick it eat.

it what if I ate this well it's your. [ __ ] oh that's that's not gonna that's. not going to bother anybody what are you. doing fck can I tell you these pants. what these pants are [ __ ] fun which. pants go up to the front there show off. your pants empty your pockets empty your. pockets. first look at these slacks these are. sexy they're so. tight let me see go forward a little bit. so I can see more we you spit around for. the. camera you are a little sex machine are.

these These are soccer pants aren't they. I know what they I got them at uh we. were on the road one day but I like them. I'm going to wear them tomorrow to go to. Denver I really like them I like when. you were tight stuff it turns me. on I had a panic attack in line the. other day like a full-on panic attack. what happened I was going to order a. salad and I and I was on the phone with. the wife and she didn't know what she. wanted but it was already my turn and I. was doing a build your own.

salad and I was freaking out cuz she. would change the order as I'm ordering. it and the guy's like no no check pce. Air1 huh where were you uh Air1 no no no. no airan I I've walked in there once I. walked out oh I hang out there all day. long I know you do what's up people that. don't know airan is like an overtly. pretentious. overpriced Market I bought that $50 w. oh you got that one I still get it now I. get this little bottle like this $50.

water why what is in it I want oxygen. top water oh it's oxygenated water so. good no it's top water it's like notp. water no it's real like I drink it and. my my I get fizzy eyed let me see what. is airwan $50 water don't make fun of me. I'm just saying I no I'm gonna that's. insane it's 50 American dollars exactly. the same as the woman who licks babies. and she probably started that company. that's not it D not Mountain. Valley it's.

$26 go zoom in I'll tell you what the. brand is oh that's $40 that bottle the. first bottle yeah that's it oh for yeah. $30 a $30 bottle of just a regular. bottle of water yeah what is it it's. oxygenated water it's from the heavens. butabi you have a filtered shut the [ __ ]. up with the filter shut the [ __ ] up with. the fil every time you [ __ ] shut the. [ __ ] up with filtered all right wait go. up go up this says nanopure go up this. says nanopure it's nanopure hyper.

oxygenated and restructured it dude they. restructure the water for your. mouth I can feel it in my body it's like. it's going down different channels. what's H2O what is H2O oxygen hydrogen. and water and aqua oy Aqua dude okay. what could be. re-engineered infused with an unmatched. level of bioavailable dissolved oxygen. 40 plus PP listen humans get. re-engineered. now what yeah they do I want to be a.

woman now trans people who transition. yeah that's it's trans water dude soak. in it now do you can soak in it and. drink it do you drink it after you soak. in it they have a wellness spot dude you. need that I need that so bad yeah get a. quote didn't tell $30,000 probably for. that little all right whoa a pool oh my. God your pool organically fresh. sanitized totally salt waterer can I say. something can I say something okay I. need why did we why did we get a for our.

water to no no for we had guests on we. had are you garbage on oh and you got. them fancy water no no no and we go we. want you to see if there's a difference. between the two moners and we did a. taste test and did they we all said a. four is number one there's something. about it when you drink it I'm your. mouth. goes it's it's a Christmas a breath of. relief yeah it's the the best water dude. I don't believe that water can be that. much better look at the Mexican the. Mexicans well if they like Mexicans make.

it just like everything else it turns. out the Mexicans are making it you like. good sushi it's not made it's Mexicans. you like good water it's Mexicans will. you try it though by the way will you. try it it's Mexicans I love Mexicans no. I know they make everything would you. try it no I'm not buying it I'm going to. buy you I don't want $30 water there's. good reviews Andrew yeah give me the oh. there's good reviews. let me read Ashley white and white. people know their [ __ ] do not trust. white people love water dude do they not.

I don't do we trust white people no in. terms of water yes no yeah so here this. is what what you mean white people white. aor is simply the best water I've ever. tasted I am Healing Arts practitioner. the consumption of clean pure structured. water is one of the most critical. components of Health what is structured. water if you haven't tasted it you don't. even know but when you drink it you go. oh my God that's. structured I would recommend it all day. long I drink so much it's like drinking.

dirt water now this she goes I drink so. much that 10 lbs melted away but this is. bought this is generated it's not that's. real peoplee yeah she lost 10 PB from. what's her name what's her name what's. her name what's her name Deb no one's. been named Deb in a hundred [ __ ]. years every Deb is dead give me more. reviews only two yeah six total reviews. of this [ __ ] [ __ ] go down to the. bottom I'll tell this is the biggest. croc of [ __ ] on Earth go down to the way. bottom yeah right there yeah Dr Jeff let.

me zoom in I'm going to say what he says. and I'm going to say thank you o for my. family's been drinking oxygenated water. for the past year my 9-year-olds hardly. ever get sick now this is kakimi. [ __ ] it's so crazy this guy's trying. to pit you that your water [ __ ] makes. you not get SI so crazy you say that. because I go suck on a CO door now I had. Co that's like the leaking lady is the. same thing you guys are so stupid you. know what I hate about you you guys. right now. dude what what do you not like about us. I'll tell you what you don't like when. coch one came.

out Coke one yeah when they redid Coke. Coke Zero no the one original Coke oh. yeah no Coke what was it Coke what was. it called when they reinvented Coke New. Coke New Coke that's not there was no. new Coke yeah b as a spokesman what in. the 80s New Coke in the you weren't even. live you [ __ ] in the 80s they got rid. of old Coke and they go I'm new it was. just and people went we don't like it. but a lot of people didn't try.

[Music]. it did you know that a lot of people. didn't fry. it we bottled a big can of. [ __ ] we bottled human poop and a lot of. people didn't like it but they didn't. try it what I'm saying you're a great. boy dude try it you're such a marketing. major dude I'm the best you are I'll try. it I'm telling you that water I'm going. to give everyone a bottle of [ __ ] $30. water please you buy it I'll buy it. bring it in here and then I put in your. fridge let it chill and in the morning.

wake up take a shot of it and then you. see I'll tell you what I liked I like. Crystal Clear Pepsi when it came out. what was that and no one liked it no one. liked it and it got pulled off the. shelves and you know why nobody liked it. why they didn't try it and I hate. Crystal Clear Pepsi never had it look it. look at it it was clear it was literally. Clear Pepsi you can still buy it on the. internet today it was so good I don't. know why I liked it so much so here's. the deal for next week go go back to the. story what you're in you're in line with.

the the salad oh yeah and I couldn't get. it right and they kept dumping out the. ingredients I kept going back and forth. and I had such a I had such a moment of. fear that I anyway thank you for being a. bad. friend. perfect you didn't say amalgamation yeah. I literally did say amalgamation did he. say it yeah that's you got the woods. wood shop yeah that's why you couldn't. do wood shop and because Bobby gave all.

he can in that one uh let me tell you. something we're giving you guys a higher. [Music]. [Music]. discount. wo woo. W.

woo. wo. yeah.