The Bottoms of Turtle Island | Ep 61 | Bad Friends

yo we got a merch update the greatest. rock and blues band of all time bad. friends is here compiled by of course. rudy jules with carlos centilius uh. peter bleith moulave. and of course your favorite george. trinidad so pick up those shirts and. also 420 special for 420 man. we are restocking these tie dyes and the. tie-dye tees so go check that out right. now at. badfriendsmerge.com or in the merch bar. down below if you're on the youtubes.

also this weekend andrew santino i am. going to be in brea southern california. if you live in the southern california. era and you want to see me do an hour. i'm going to be at the brea improv the. 23rd and 24th for shows that's all we. got come see me go to andrewsantino.com. for tickets andrewsantino.com southern. california let's go you two are bad. friends who are these two idiots. white dude i'm an asian dude. you two are. [Music]. two or disgusting. we're bad friends. puppy report.

oh. puppy report it's. very chaotic it's chaotic. we have three puppies what you posted. was so cute that dog's face oh my god. so cute they're so cute i always go in. there are they pooping all over your. room piss poo everything love it why i. just think it's a part of puppy life. yeah it is and the puddles are this big. they're not big i know but you have to. understand that like her room right we. have a little gate yeah. and then we have three adult dogs.

wanting to get at these three puppies. and eat them yeah so it's a whole event. but isn't it isn't it just upstairs. downstairs you separate them by floors. don't you do that no no no no you got it. for the puppies you should just in case. yeah but then she has to stay downstairs. there's nothing downstairs. it's grim down there. is it scary down there yeah yeah. do you not like sleeping down there no i. like it i'm fine. yeah she loves creepy [ __ ] look at her. are you stoned no i just woke up i know. she just woke up from a nap dude what.

what do you have you don't do anything. she has this week off too it's like. you're on vacation correct. yeah but i'm taking care of the puppy. yeah yeah there is a lot well that's. annoying i understand how much it's a. lot when we had our dog it was literally. i was shooting at the time too so i was. getting no sleep already because i was. shooting 40 14 hour days and the puppy. would wake up. 3 30 a.m 4 30 a.m 5 00 a.m kind of like. your alarm five six seven and then i'd. go to work at 7 30. is your do you want a second pop a dog.

or not really bad actually. you wouldn't look check take you and. take a look at our puppies yeah actually. i'm serious we just we literally just. talked about getting another dog take a. look at our puppies what kind are they. um at the class they might be half pit. bull i just my only worry is how big. they get i can't have really big dogs. we have one called what's stumpy. oh i like that already they're all the. same but don't we have stompy is he guys. he looks like a hot dog he looks like a. hot dog and not only that like a wiener. dog he looks like one yeah weiner dogs.

are awesome but it can't be because then. they're all wiener dogs no or. or can a dog have like. a poodle and a rottweiler come out well. these are all from the same litter. mm-hmm yeah so they're all the same but. wait a minute one looks like a wiener. dog yeah he's actually um stumpy no he's. um i don't want to say this but not. stumpy nobody. stubby. calm stuff we just named it yesterday. give me a [ __ ] break relax but he's. um. mentally. challenged challenged.

no yeah that's what cola said i'm not. saying. she said it he's just low he's slow can. dogs have down syndrome i don't know but. he just like. this is. you go in the room and the puppies are. coming toward me yeah stumpy is just. like. when he barks he's like. yeah yeah. yeah. can dog because down syndrome is. categorized as having 47 chromosomes 23. oh right right that's not right it can't. be diagnosed in dogs who by default have. 78 chromosomes wow wow do dogs have.

can dogs be slow though is that a real. thing like can you have i mean obviously. some dogs are smarter than us no but i'm. saying okay right but that's like some. people are smarter than others but i'm. saying can they have a mental disability. there has to be they're right yeah. because my buddy's dog yeah i'm not. making this up used to run into the. walls all the time in the broad daylight. and they got his vision checked they. thought maybe he has he's blind they. were like no he's fine what's wrong and. he's like well he's just running into. the walls and they're like bad depth. perception it's like yeah maybe maybe.

dogs have to have tourette's too right. it is also true that dogs develop mental. illness dogs can acquire forms of. anxiety yes we know that compulsive. disorders pdfc but no they don't get. okay i don't know imagine a dog with. turrets he's like [ __ ]. and then he comforts his mouth but. sometimes he barks he's like oh yeah. you're like come here buddies. yeah yeah that's silly wait a minute so. there's three pups right three pups in. the litter yeah okay three pups and. litter i'll take a look at them. we really will yeah i mean. my only concern is how big i can't have.

big dogs they're not gonna be big i. don't have a big enough big. i think they'll be just medium you can. tell by their paws if they did a big. paws kinda oh they're gonna be big. they're pretty big when you're a big. paws yeah yeah cause you will you look. at them of course yeah yeah yeah cause. you know your dogs. your dogs are you don't have any dogs. that are that big no we have little ones. you will meet their mediums. yeah they're all like you know. they're accidents man it's like that's. right like the one the one that i have. the old one we have we have a 90 year.

old man living in the house he's 96. right remy yeah remy's 96 right and remy. you could tell by his fingers they're. [ __ ] up and he goes like this each paw. each fingernail is a different color. black brown yellow right and there's. it's just like and then there's a. nail that just comes out of the paw. itself like he's like deformed oh right. and he walks around like this and he's. just like grumpy where is he's. everywhere he's everywhere well he has. no bladder control anymore and if it was. up to me in the beginning it's like.

i could i could have just thrown it. across the street but. but then what happens is you follow he. falls in love with you you fall in love. with him yeah you don't have a choice no. i'm just we're stuck well here's the. back in the day when we were kids. you know a lot of people would have dogs. that they couldn't take care of they got. to get rid of and they just became. outside dogs. so. uh and but we have the middle one julio. that she [ __ ] up yeah but that's cause. she raised up we re she rate listen. don't shake your head do raise do not. julio as a puppy right yeah and now look.

at julio he's. not adjusted to the world right he's a. we've had. the num best trainers in the world try. to train them and then they always walk. around. yeah it's nah what's the loss cause it's. a lost cause he's like yeah there's. nothing. and i'm like and i always point to her i. go what did you do to julio i didn't do. anything yeah you did you and your. sister did you did you did you hit it. did you do something to it no do you. sharpen knives. listen. okay you said you think just the puppy. was just born that way i don't know i.

don't think so did you kiss do you kiss. julio on the mouth no. sometimes okay. do you let him lick your lick all over. your mouth nobody bobby does that's okay. that that makes sense for him yeah yeah. and that's also brand it's on brand. yeah it. i'm curious as what you did to hulu to. make him so damaged do you mouth kiss. your dogs 100 knew okay. no you don't no. why. because i just don't get i don't like. that like white people have just let me. ask you something but i'm not a white.

i'm not a normal white woman. i've seen your family you're [ __ ]. white as [ __ ] bro yeah i know. welcome yeah yeah yeah. so what what i'm saying is like what. i've noticed her nose is growing up like. you know um. like if we were gonna go out like if i. went left the house with some friends on. a friday night sure and my dad was. sitting at the kitchen table and if he. wasn't drunk if he was drunk that's. another thing how when was he not drunk. there sometimes he wasn't like when he. got back from work right away so if i. was leaving he'd go oh.

i'm going out he'd go okay. and i would kiss my dad on the lips. bro. i hate people that do that. that's the grossest sh your dad you're a. grown-up you're a teenager and you kiss. your dad on the mouth. not tongue kiss you [ __ ] i didn't say. that. i didn't i mean are you out of your. [ __ ] mind and he's like yeah. [Laughter].

or he'll kiss you on the cheek your. cheek is fine yeah yeah yeah sometimes. it lips mouth i don't like okay. my point though it's cultural. right. yeah. like white for folks right you guys. don't. i know like some of my friends never. even said i love you. to their parents. well those are just damaged people i. mean i do you see you i love you of. course it's your dad i say i love that.

your stepdad i say yeah i do not your. stepdad yeah that yes i do you don't. really love him though as much as you. what come on man are you crazy why are. you smoking no no you're the uh you're. totally obvious my stepdad was raised me. he was like my father. he was one of them you don't have the. full. the full experience though. no i mean if you're being genuine right. now not comedy no i that's the opposite. my stepdad was like my father he raised. me my whole life. like he i met him when i was nine. or no younger than that what do i mean. you don't even know how crazy it is he.

he became like my dad no so i do i love. him so much like i say i love you all. the time to him. i i'm gonna ask you i say i love you to. you. and to rudy yeah but for you it's like. well it does because. because you say it a lot yeah it just. doesn't mean anything right that's what. i'm saying cause i've seen you say it to. like dorman at the comedy store sure i. kiss him. i go. i love you yeah yeah yeah there you go. good set tonight. yeah yeah no no i say i love you a lot. to people that i really do care about so. i say it all the time i say it all the.

time because if i really like you i love. you like andres have i said i love you. to you. yoha yeah oh you have you do you really. do you love no do you really do love. honestly look at me in the face yeah i. love andres fancy is a wonderful person. pete pete you you haven't gotten it yet. but that's you got it you got some time. and also okay i want to play a game with. you that i just did okay what okay just. real quick okay yeah so this is a game i. just made up okay. and it's like you know that you know. that app right that changes people to.

different genders or whatever uh sure so. i have some comics that you know okay. and i change their gender okay and i. want to see if you can guess who they. are this is a female comic that's a man. okay. and go. are you asking me hot or not what who. are they oh who is this yeah. um that is uh look at how widespread the. eyes are yeah. this is a little hard because she's not. she's not a. she's not a comedy store comic right. that doesn't matter she's uh she did. chelsea lately a lot sarah kalana no.

damn uh. uh. uh. give me one more hand i'll just you're. never gonna guess it i'll just give you. the initials just give me the initial a. m. arden mirren yeah yes i got it okay that. now i see it in her eyes yeah. whoa that's arden mirrors. next whoa. comedy store comic female. comedy store comic regular get spots a. lot all right i'm looking in the eye. yeah yeah and she and she also by the.

way that's a pretty handsome dude yeah. yeah she. she just had a baby. that's natasha no. oh no no. um. that's sarah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. yeah yeah yeah. dude i see it in the eyes yeah it's so. much fun. wow next one. okay. comedy story it's a man. comic yeah he's a regular he gets spots. maybe on. two spots a week a wednesday or saturday.

right this dude is to me a legend he's. in the same school as like he was. friends with like mitch hedberg and and. and um. what's the guy from uh arizona um. doug stanley doug stanhope. that crew. short hair how about this he spent a lot. of time in europe. like lived there he lived in amsterdam. [ __ ] yeah. you got to give me the initials now. because i'm out. t-r.

tom. tom rhodes yes oh tom ross oh my god. yeah yeah and by the way is he here is. he at like a republican rally what is. that i just found that photo no but wait. wait oh you found the photo to develop. online yeah let's just go online i. thought the app gives you a no no no oh. that's wild. okay this one i'll give you you know. what dude i'll give you my salary for a. month. really on this podcast if i can guess. that but you have to give me one hint. there's no way.

my salary okay okay fine all right so. okay. i don't even believe that i put this in. there this is a hard one so this one. hangs out. with jason collings okay and brent um. morin morin yeah um he does their. podcast as well. okay right he's not a regular at the. store. he just kind of hangs out. he's a stand-up though yeah. he's open for me several times. the kid that the kid i know what is [ __ ]. you know his name i'll just tell you. what it is what's his name will.

berghardt burkhardt yeah will i knew his. name was will that's him i get your. salary. uh next one yes i do next. or this one right here is a garage this. is a good one this is a good one you're. gonna love this one these look like i. know this is a girl this guy's next door. yeah this is a girl right yeah who um. she's not a regular at the store but. she's a cover booth person. that's chelsea yes that's chelsea yeah. yeah. yeah yeah i'm pretty good this is good.

cover booth there's only one girl that's. a cover booth that's not true other. several that's not true there's a few no. next. this oh this is so easy it's tony. hinchcliffe. yeah i can tell this actually look if he. just put on a wig that would look. exactly yeah next one. that's adam wright. next one. that's the oval. i'm getting good now next one by the way. hold on go back to theo vaughn yeah wow. wow. dude because there's a trend on tick.

tock if if my friends were girls would i. sleep with them that's like a big trend. theo for sure go back go back to adam. no no no no. she's like a talk show host she that. she's on the view yeah yeah. yeah yeah go back one more who's the one. before it was tony no no no. but but the prop i look at she looks. like she looks like um in the morning. the next morning after you've like a. one-night stand she's like why don't you. hang out and we go to break together. no yeah okay go forward go forward theo.

for sure though wow and this one is. super hard no it's not i didn't know off. the bat i i can usually see it in the. eyes right now it's not hard not a comic. not a comedian no. but a comedic celebrity oh a celebrity. who i know who's a good friend of mine. what an emmy. play. you know he's a kind of a bigger guy. obviously. and he do you know who it is. eric stonestreet yep that's eric yep.

oh my god next one and by the way i. would not would not know it's a pass. look at this one that's a real comic we. know no no this is this one this one's. easy this one this one's easy you do. yeah i know right away it's nikki. glazier yeah. you know i can tell it was amazing. amazing you can see by the nose next one. yeah. this one this one's hard no it's not. it's the easiest one and eleanor. carragher yes. yes. i'm doing it i'm doing it i'll get this. one right here zoom in.

this one is the million dollar one. regular yeah you know him. i'm friends am i friends friends oh yeah. really yeah regular and friends with. them right yeah um story person that's. all i can give you. yeah. i don't know why but when they changed. this person it was like weird it was. like that does not look like him. he's tall. would be like. jesselnick is tall galern is tall you.

would know that if those are gorgeous or. just like maybe i mean because you said. it doesn't look anything like the guy. just look at the nose. who's tall like that who's tall like. that yeah with a pointy nose. older. who's tall like that the curse. yeah that's kirk fox yeah. wow that crazy he's hot i'd [ __ ] [ __ ]. that's hot yeah yeah yeah is that hot. yeah yeah yeah yeah. rudy. can i call kirk fox because i haven't.

talked to him a long time. why because i really like him i like him. too we'll tell him how he is as a girl. his voice is just so great. baby. boy kirk. hey you're on me and bobby's podcast. yeah just letting you know where bobby. did this game. where he puts your picture into an app. on the phone and it turns you into a. girl and i'm telling you i'm gonna send. you this photo you're so hot as a girl.

like we would [ __ ] yeah. we would [ __ ] you. can i change into that for real. i mean. i think it's i think they're doing this. all the time now right this is easy to. get done. 20 30k and you can look like that. i don't think so is there a place i go. because i don't like the way i look as a. man i don't like the choices i make i. just don't like the feeling but if i'm a. hot. woman yeah can i write it out no imagine. that voice with that face.

[Laughter]. it's bobby's being mean again. kirk we love you. bobby. bobby uh bobby and i are going to be. spending some time together soon you. guys are shooting together what are we. doing. well i think we might be in oklahoma. together bobby oh are you doing that. show. yes oh i'll see you there buddy. same episode same episode what. i i'm gonna be in a lot of them so our.

paths will cross oh wow wow that's. awesome all right well then well then. when you see. let me tell you bobby it's gonna be. probably the best show in the world. these guys are amazing of course that's. why i did it i was so busy i was like i. found out who was involved so i go i. just got i have to define time. yeah i did the pilot in september and uh. now i'm going back they decided to keep. the mustache that's amazing so um how. many episodes they pick up.

well they're doing the first season oh. that's awesome congratulations brother. that's great that's great you guys. yeah sorry andrew i forgot you're even. no yeah no problem all right you're hot. as a woman have fun in oklahoma i love. you i miss you buddy. okay send me that picture quick because. i'm about to take a shower. okay bye bye. look at this one you know he's the best. i love this one. that's kyle donaghy no no that's that's. a guy right there oh.

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yeah of course is so clean because of. hello your brown knot looks amazing i. also i'm saving on toilet paper costs. yep right and it's so easy to um put in. um to install to install yeah we put i. did it on my own i did it on my own and. you know me and bob aren't good at stuff. like that and we have one here at the. studio that andre sometimes fancy bee. will just sit on it yeah and just sprays. out the whole time for like an hour yeah. it's insane uh the brand new hello tushy. 3.0 modern bidet attachment is here to. help level the playing field stylish. eco-friendly easy to install and very.

very affordable man because by the way. when you get the traditional versions of. these like the those japanese toilets. they're thousands and thousands of. dollars yeah yeah they're so expensive i. know you've been to japan but they have. really high quality toilets yeah make. yours high quality that's right make it. high quality at home you don't have to. wipe at all just poop spray dry and go. go baby uh they also come with a 60 day. risk free guarantee and a 12 month. warranty bobby tell them about the. schmutz shield well i'll tell you about. this much sales right it's it offers. easy cleaning and the knobs are. naturally what's the word antimicrobial.

antimicrobials that's perfect. if you already got a tushy upgrade the. new 3.0 model you're going to love it go. to hellotushy.com bad friends to get 10. off plus free shipping special offer for. you guys our listeners hellotushy.com. bad friends for 10 percent off. hellotushy.com. friends i saw a movie movie last night. called. uh let me see if i got the right word i. love italian crime stuff. i saw a movie like the vigil.

oh yeah you saw it yeah. what is it about the guy who prays to. the candles that the it's the it's the. it's the horror movie where he's got uh. the cam the candles the horror movie. there are candles right it is a horror. movie yes right but what else it's the. guy who pray he's got he prays to the. candles the the devil that lives in the. candle. you almost had it i was close you almost. [ __ ] had it but you never seen that. no okay. but was i close pretty close i guess.

there's a ritual you know in um old um. an old napoli no no no no i don't know. in the holes in that. a jewish ritual right but it's like um. what do you got acidic. acidic yeah old hasidic ritual where. yeah when somebody dies right. their body is in a house and then you. have somebody. that looks after the body for like 12. hours whatever to protect it from.

spirits or whatever right so this dude. needs money right he needs 500 bucks and. he's just like. i gotta and some guy offers him this job. so he's in this creepy house with this. like old jewish dead man there and his. wife upstairs it's [ __ ] scary as [ __ ]. bro did does the jewish dead men at some. point come back to life. something like that but the thing is is. that it's like the whole time i'm you're. just like. leave. just get out yeah in the beginning there. were so many chances where he could just.

leave yeah at one point you realize that. he can't leave because now the curse is. on him now he's he's sucked in he's. sucked in but yeah. pretty good i want to suggest that to. people the dead body pops up and goes oh. this casket's so uncomfortable. let's create a horror movie right now. okay what are you afraid of. what am i the most afraid of yeah that's. i think we should play on our fears. right yeah first of all what we you and. i are about if we're gonna write a. horror movie yeah figure out what our.

fears are right and then we'll just try. to wrap a move okay middle of nowhere. stuff creeps me the [ __ ] out like if. like i'm always down for middle of. nowhere films i'm always like oh it's so. sketchy in the middle of nowhere like in. the woods but in the mountains in the. world in the mountains in the woods even. more dangerous right where you can lose. power it can be cold yeah right so mine. has to do with the ocean okay so on a. mountain over the ocean. we got there but just being in the. middle of the ocean so okay we're gonna. put it on a boat then no we'll do both. no no but listen middle of nowhere is.

the middle of the ocean to me okay one. in the same. right so how about how about one where. it's on an island but is that islands. are wonderful what a great place to be. haunted like a haunted island a haunted. island perfect perfect perfect here's. another thing that i'm afraid of being. buried alive uh everyone everyone that's. everyone's fear that's everyone's fear. what doesn't uh kids i've got it you and. i wake up you and i okay you okay starts. on you right. sand is in your mouth you don't climb. out yeah yeah you were buried alive.

right all right so what you're saying is. that i'm a guy right you yeah all right. how about this let me just create my. character i'm a guy right yeah and i. work at like a liquor store in new york. correct okay in harlem so yeah i'm i'm. logging out i'm closing the store it's. not a 24-hour place right right so i'm. locking everything up right and it just. shows me like just. walking with my backpack to my little. squaller house. i have a really i live in the basement. somewhere in chinatown. you live in chinatown uh why does it.

okay anyway. it just feels right. i'm chinese for this movie you're. chinese yes okay yeah i'll be chinese. i'll be black in the middle we'll be. right we'll write it we'll. you live in the basement of a chinese. chinese right you know and then it just. shows me like a little montage of me. like cooking some ramen right putting. some ramen right rat runs by right runs. right right i'm buying a really rickety. table yeah right sitting there i'm. slurping on the ramen i'm watching some. something on tv the news or something. right gravity or tv right there's a cut.

scene where i'm just kind of reading a. book on a mat that's where i sleep on. the floor yeah. this guy is so so sad right. and then um i plug in my iphone whenever. i have a phone right samsung. samsung okay. you gotta be samsung. all right samsung i plug in my samsung. chinatown right yeah um does it matter. what kind of tv i'm looking at or. toshiba. toshiba yeah yeah um a tube tv no less.

like an old tube not a flashlight. so i assume just by your thinking i'm. wearing a kimono. what else would you be wearing at your. house. so just all right. kimono i have a sword a sword. and your hair is in a bun it must be and. what's in it what's wrong what's holding. your hair up chopsticks chopsticks. that's correct. oh you raised as [ __ ] all right come on.

come on let's get back to where we want. to be all right so. for some reason. for some reason for some reason i'm. wearing regular clothes you're wearing. regular clothes at the liquor store but. when i get home there's got even montos. i put the chopsticks in my hair people. will love it people love it i have. samsung tooshima. tv right right oh [ __ ] right so you're. slurping your new right when you lay on. your mat i lay on my. bamboo bag bamboo man.

yeah right and then i wake up right on. an island you wake up you wake up it's. crawling out of sand crawling out of. sand yes. naked butt naked butt naked yeah right. how about how about i still have the. chopsticks in my hair oh you got it yeah. yeah we need to have you have materials. yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah right for some. reason i still have the bun perfect with. the chopstick of my right i come out. right yes oh i'd be completely naked. right and it's the brutal day of this. it's the sun it's right right bright. and all of a sudden you your character.

digs out right and you're wearing like a. green. suit. like a little leopard. [Laughter]. and where my penis is is a little pot of. gold. a little tiny. over so you're wearing a leprechaun i. guess. i work in finance i wear suits but i. went to bed. when you go to home you drink irish. whiskey correct right right you wear the. green leprechaun i wear it right and i. do a jig right and i jig myself to sleep.

all right how about this look okay okay. all of the [ __ ] aside we both wake. up on the island no we're both are we. keeping that stuff in or no that's just. a joke it's a joke that's a joke but it. could be fun okay we're both butt naked. we wake up on the island we wake up on. the island and you and i are ready to. fight cause we don't know how this. happened did you do this to me. no of course that's not gonna. we're both coming out of holes where i'm. not gonna go but did you did you put me. in this hole bury me and then put a. whole you put yourself in a hole and. bury yourself yes yes yes no that's the.

last that's not the logic. we when we both come out we're just. gonna be like we were both buried what. happened we're trying to explain what. happened so that could be a twist at the. end where it turns out that you did do. it all. we'll leave it for later. oh yeah yeah correct so we jump out of. the hole yeah we jump out of the hole. we're freaked out we're playing of. course we are we have no idea what's. going on. you always say something like. who are you who are you you're right. that's the dialogue who are you who are. you you're right. um and we kind of calm down we try to.

calm down and go all right so my name is. um yoshi am i yoshi yoshi yoshi right. yeah. lucky. i'm not yoshi i'm lucky yeah yeah do we. have to have accents for this we should. [Laughter]. how funny it would be i had the asian. accent you had the irish accent. don't make me die. i'm lucky. i'm lucky.

what are we doing here. i wouldn't even get to the first [ __ ]. scene. right so so yoshi and lucky so now they. bonded together well now what let's be. real let's be real about it okay. we're back we're back so um you know is. there a third. well here's the thing yeah yeah so so a. show uh washing up ashore is a woman. badly hurt bleeding right and it washed.

up ashore it's rude okay enough it's got. that cut there's rewind it's gone cut. that out. okay so. in this island it's not a big island. very small it's maybe what a half a mile. around not even quarter mile around. quarter mile right but there is in the. middle of the island is dense dance. there's trees at one thick very thick. but there is a path right right you and. i we you you go it's so hot out here we. have to get i mean we have to get. covered i'm gonna go. yeah you're almost in flames i'm done. right and i go um all right so let's i.

found a trail we go on the trail in the. middle of this island you see like a. little tiny like a hill like a stoney. kind of a hill yes i see it but in the. middle of the right is a statue. of. her but it's but and it's been it's been. there for for a long time ten thousand. years a thousand years and and it's old. it's it's it's just all it's like it's. her. statue like this right her eyes are. black black right and there's red. blood tears right there right blood.

right and obviously she has knives two. knives like two knives like this and. she's staring but by the way yeah she's. like she's like this right right. blood like this and just just like that. and staring off straight through this. there's like a little message underneath. what does it say um i can't read it you. i don't know what does it say it says um. those that sleep will die first right. something like that those that sleep. will die first yeah. well well i'm well okay.

i can't go to bed we can't that the. whole i the whole goal of this horror. movie yeah is you and i don't can't. sleep we can't sleep keep each other. keep each other up keep each other awake. yeah yeah and you know what happens when. you don't get sleep what you should have. delusional hallucinations right right. you're also kidding horny you're super. horny. you know because you start getting. delusional right you start getting real. horny there is a sex scene. right so um i wake up with your dick in.

my mouth i'm just trying to keep you. awake. so um. i don't want you to die. all right so here we go all right let's. let's go by the way by the way what a. good device we can't go to bed we. realize and so first of all we read it. those that sleep will die first i go. yeah this is [ __ ] you know. stupid right yeah can't be true but the. first night we both are like. [ __ ] what if it's true yeah should we. decide maybe that the sleep could could. it be more of a thing as like you know.

at nightfall right don't be on the. ground. don't be on the ground yeah. but we'll just build a canopy and then. that would be good right so you and i. are always uh so check that out you and. i build a canopy yes right amongst the. trees yeah. like a platform right. and then we were laying down. trying to go to sleep but then we hear. things. below us. no just like. oh oh gosh. right i'm a creature and different.

things. that's like an old guy. yeah whatever it's like an old man yeah. yeah. right. and we're just i mean we're naked we're. naked right of course you don't have the. green suit that was gone yeah we know. and we woke up naked we woke up. right naked so you and i are completely. naked i imagine right. on these platforms we built right maybe. we're i i say. it's not high enough. oh what do we have to build it higher. than we're going to don't talk loud.

because right here like that that's. something like that can't hear you. something like that right i like that. but then we hear her too what's her. noise you make a noise. oh my god. [ __ ] and you know what we can't tell. where it's coming from. because. i'm like it's coming from over there and. you're like it's coming from over there. [ __ ] dude it's surround sound do it. again. [Music]. what is it do we suck each other's dick. there yes.

the film critics are like it was a. brilliant idea they kept blowing each. other the whole movie. i forget the suck dick so we wake up the. next day. pete's writing down. they start blowing they blow each other. to make it go away. this is the only way to make the sound. stop. oh god okay all right all right so.

here's the deal i do like the device. that we're not supposed to sleep right. yeah okay. so you know so you don't like the. platform thing no i do. but like we can make it say like those. that sleep first die first those that. touch ground make it like a bunch of. rules all right so don't sleep okay and. then the touch ground they who they who. sleep first dies first yeah they who. touch you. at nightfall. uh those on ground will die like uh and. the last one has to be um. one rule has to be uh uh um. not only. so you can't sleep you have to be above.

ground at night fall you can't make. noise. during the day during all day no at. night at night so this is all nighttime. so correct okay good right so it's like. imagine now not a people. completely naked yeah up above ground. cannot say a word like this and we hear. all these crazy noises yeah and we just. have to look at each other. yeah yeah and then at some point maybe. your leg is hurt yeah right right. because i cover your mouth you know how. they do that so you don't make a.

don't don't yeah like something fell. from a tree yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. yeah. spiky coconut spiky coconut yeah spiky. coconut fell from the tree right hit. your leg right it's blood squirt like an. artery right. i take like a strip of leaves or. something i try to make a tourniquet. right but i cover your mouth and the. whole time i'm like. yeah yeah yeah yeah and then i bite your. fingers because it hurts so much and. then you go to the end.

right and we're just. right and that's all night long all. night but then once the dawn out we're. excited. and then as soon as we see the sunlight. we go. oh [ __ ]. oh i can't do this i can't do this i'm. tired yeah. this is good this is really good really. good so. just as a side note would be funny as if. if you were pinching your butt because. you had to let out a fart.

you know it's not a comedy though sorry. you're right it's a two broad uh. we'll get it as scripted we'll do one. for us we'll do a couple alts yeah. because we do try we eat we have to eat. okay so here's the next day so right now. our first conversation after night no. one should be this. um we gotta get water we have to get. food and water that's the most important. one yeah because we already gotta get. the [ __ ] out of here i think getting the.

[ __ ] out of here is number one well you. gotta we have to see where we are in. water right in water yeah. and if the island you build a help sign. out of rocks right and you said. you have to write help in the sand in. case of a plane flies over okay that's. what everybody does okay all right yes i. just why do i have to do the hardship. it still just feels like i have to pick. up rock and then make a help. i'll do it you know that's gonna take. all day i haven't eaten or drinking. water why do i get that job this is the. conversation on the island yeah yeah.

okay i'll do it yeah yeah all right what. do i do you have to find us food. okay now do you want to ride help in. rocks you'll find this food i'll find. his food yeah okay. because i'd rather go like i think i'm. better at maybe going in the ocean. with a spear. sure. you fashioned a spear but you get out. there and guess what what no fish just. sharks sharks. all we are on an island surrounded by no. whites no what are the most dangerous. ones not great the mega the megalodon.

yeah that's where they come from. that island but the island is called. megalodon oh megalodon island and on the. other side of the island right is where. they birth so that's where all their. eggs are right that's where i go that's. where you go to get food you can get. eggs. that's our plan that's our plan so i. come back right you're you you haven't. even made eight yet no it's like eight. hours in and you're just one line of the. h i'm in i'm right i'm into and i'm like. we have that argument like that's all. you got is half an h there's not that.

many showers there's not that many. stones on the island right and then. you're gonna go where's the food where's. the food oh i'm sorry but it's not my. fault that we're on megalodon island. and there's [ __ ] fifty to two. thousand megatons in the ocean. they'll [ __ ] eat me you take you take. them. did i say yeah but check it out man i. was watching them go around the island. right i know where their eggs are. brother well. perfect. omelettes megalodon omelettes have you. ever had one no but i can't wait to yeah. so hey but let me ask you something but.

megalodon would have like. um. they would they wouldn't have eggs no no. but it's like it's kind of like a caviar. but big we have to make a creature that. we have to have a creature that makes. eggs because sharks don't have eggs they. just come out as little sharks so. whatever we make in the ocean it has to. make eggs there is no [ __ ] creature. in the ocean we make it up. yeah but then we have to explain the. science but the whole thing isn't real. no we don't how do we get on the aisle. who cares we're making it up let me ask. you something do turtles make eggs yes. that's what we have turtles gigantic.

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and i imagine the scene i'm in the water. and you see a turtle come toward me. right and you think and they. my face is like this. turtle yeah cause you know i i love. turtles right yeah you know who doesn't. love a turtle i love it you know how. you're. right and then you see the turtle. it opens his mouth and it has like ah. just like rosy. [Laughter].

right right and i realize there's like. 50 000 of them in the water swarming. around. [Laughter]. [ __ ] i was mad i was trying to fight. fish yeah [ __ ] turtle dude turtles. you're scared of turtles they're not. normal dude go you go out there i will. all right right there you go out there.

you go out there right and i get. bitten by. buy one yes right so now they've tasted. our blood our blood so now they're ready. now and also now you [ __ ] believe me. now i do believe you of course but then. i go yes i was watching. some natural national geographic yes in. my little squadron place in chinatown. when i wear my kimono. chinatown apartment television. [Laughter]. yeah about turtles right.

obviously it was you know in chinese you. know. subtitles. right yeah and so um. they lay eggs on the beach bro. what we have to find where they lay yeah. so um i know i don't know if you can. make omelets out of their eggs we're. gonna try but we're gonna give it a go. so we hunt. so we look around we dig dig and we find. some we find their eggs we find a couple. but there's no frying plan there's no. frying pan how the [ __ ] are we gonna. make this [ __ ] right we don't have fire. either. tonight today we make fire.

we grab the eggs okay no i do what rocky. did what you just eat it raw yeah. yeah no you put a hole on top there's a. scene like that. there's a scene where i crack it right. and i drink it drink but then what comes. out is like um. blood like black ooh black blood it's. black this is not no normal when you. open up it's like it's like um it's like. uh like asphalt like like when asphalt's. liquid eyes you know it's like.

it's like it's polluted it's blue it's. balloon it's turtle balloon turtle. balloon right i open it up and there's. an eye. right oh we can't eat these it's alive. yeah we can't eat these right so then. now the sun's right sun's going down we. still have no food no food nothing this. is the first day right right and i we. get a little fight like you're [ __ ]. half age right half of the age right. right and then we gotta get back on the. right right we climb back up and then. another night of but what happens that.

night. tropical. storm. tsunami a tsunami is coming. a tsunami is coming we can feel. yeah windows pick up so we're we can't. talk though we can't even explain what's. going on. so we're just kind of guess what when we. get back to work we communicate with our. eyes. right so we're like laying there and. your eye you're looking at me with that. what are you saying with your eyes. [Music].

which is what. i'm horny. [Laughter]. what if this. what if i read your eyes what if i read. that your eyes were saying i'm horny but. i'm reading it wrong and i just start. i said i'm hungry. i thought you said you were horny. but i can't say anything when you're. doing it. [Laughter].

this movie all right this movie is. diverted. but but here's the deal. here here's the deal. if someone in our fan group has a good. ending to this because we've laid out a. lot of tracks here yeah this is good. tracks don't you think pretty good. tracks yeah someone has to help us. finish this movie because i think right. now. no no we've got to work we're close. we're gonna end it because um. what we do we no let's do one more day. okay we go one more day three days three. days all right next day.

we're like okay we have okay water okay. we're starting no food right thursday. here's the deal today let's be real yeah. no sleep. there's got to be something about the. statue. so we go back to the steps we have to go. back to the statue and there's got to be. a [ __ ] something there. that's going to give us a clue how to. get the [ __ ] out of here right right. on the other side of the statue is. braille. and i said my mom is my mom was blind i. can read braille. right right so i read the braille and it. says.

a limerick along the lines of. we need to get beneath the island. to save our own lives. so we start digging right wow we need to. get beneath the island to save our lives. right yeah or or maybe not that. is. maybe not that can i finish the joke. okay. and we dig all the way. to china. [Laughter]. go ahead yeah go ahead what does it say. and then that's why i have the.

chopsticks in my hair we dig all the way. to the chin. with the chopsticks. that's why i have it that's it no. seriously yeah yeah what does it say on. the back there what does the statue have. to do we have to do something with the. statue yeah something the statue. maybe the statues um are we doing like a. sword in the zone no like maybe i. realize you can turn it. oh you lean against it frustrated oh. like yeah like right and it it kind of. turns very indiana jones of us yeah. let's not do that let's just go. it's circular on a like on a little.

[ __ ] platform you get mad at it you. get mad and you kick it you pick up a. coconut yeah i spike you i spike a spiky. one and you throw a spiky coconut yeah. yeah and boom and then her arm. and you're like what what the [ __ ] right. and then it it. maybe there's like a little cake like a. little cliff on the left right and it. opens up a door oh. right yeah and then there's like stairs. that lead down yes we go in we have to. we have to we go.

in and it's a big spiral looping spiral. it's you know what it is huh we have to. it takes 12 hours it's it's. it's like 12 miles to the center of the. earth not to the center we're not going. to china. i want to go no we're not going to try. another movie okay all right. [Laughter]. we walk all the way down yeah we finally. get to the bottom yeah and what's there. what's there. jewels jules is there yeah what are you. doing there jules what do you look like. there what's that what does this scene. look like to you that's what you know.

[ __ ] yeah. sleeping but with a lot of dead bodies. oh. wow how many. a thousand there's a thousand imagine a. lot of extra thousand yeah that's a lot. can we just do a hundred can we do a. hundred because it's a little bit easier. for the low budget. or we could you know we could use ten. and cgi cgi the rest right or the rest. and just. so you're sleeping you're trying to buy. 100 dead bodies right do we wake you up.

yeah yeah okay and and what do you say. to us no no no no what she's sleeping on. a stat like a slab of a concrete slab no. no she's sleeping on bodies okay she's. definitely on the bottom how do we not. know how do we know who's who then what. do you mean oh it goes to the top and. she's just on top yes like she's like. a cherry i'm gonna have a sundae in the. hill right so so she's on top of this. gigantic sundae body but she looks. remarkably comfortable yeah or maybe. she's not even slaying she's sitting.

indian inside style and she's right and. she's like the statue should get the. knives oh my god she's like the statue. she's like a statue she has blood in her. eyes right right and she's just sitting. there like this right and slowly her. eyes open. no what we do is no no we go no. because that's a i know i don't know you. and i go we.

they're dead i understand that they'll. figure out what there's clues okay okay. right all right so we look and we go um. maybe you know what we do you know what. we see yeah we look at. at the walls around in this thing right. right staircase but there's there's a. wall right of course and we see. fingernails people trying to climb up. this thing uh-huh right right they could. they would use the stairs stairs yeah. people use the stairs when we get when. we get to the bottom yeah.

the stairs go away disappear they go. away there we go now we can the stairs. are gone there we go thank you so for. helping me we got it that device okay so. the stairs are gone yeah they've just. there's a gun now move themselves right. so we can't even [ __ ] cause we. wouldn't run out anyway like as soon as. we saw her up there we would go back up. we run up the stairs 12 miles yeah. yeah it's gone so the got now we see. fingernails people trying to these dudes. imagine people dudes have been doing. this for thousands of years by the way. it's all dudes it's all guys and no no. women half of them are fat asian guys.

yes and half of them are right. right yeah so there's got to be. something there too it's the pattern. right. and then what happens where what is do. you have something in your brain. what do you do what do you want from us. um i want her to wake up i want her eyes. to slowly open her eyes open eyes up and. she must say something right yeah you've. made it this far you made it this far. you say that say that. you've made it this far yeah. in order for you to survive and honor.

him in order for you to survive. [ __ ]. right [ __ ] jesus and then you're gonna. say um. you must solve this riddle. you must solve this riddle yes okay give. us a riddle give us give us a riddle. if i. if. i had. ten. bunnies if i had ten what.

bunny if i had ten bunnies. if you had ten buddies. they said ted bundy yeah just 10 bunnies. if i had 10 bunnies finish it. and. andrew. took. nine she knows my name. yes he knows your name yeah yeah. i would go one. you're dead right away oh that's not. okay. so if i you're ten bunnies. and you took nine. give me the finish it.

how many does bobby have one. no no because i took nine she kept one. you have none zero. i'd be dead you'd be dead so i know how. about this you say i i had five nine. bunnies. andrew took nine right. i took one you say i took one right can. i wrap this up a better way go ahead. she says. only one gets to leave. you must fight each other to the death.

but we've bonded we've sucked each. other's dicks. three nights in a row. back. without even saying anything we just. kind of looked at each other. through our own so we don't know if we. really want to kill each other. can we do this right right and then you. know what i you know what you know what. i would do we started. because these two swords drop right. right there are the two swords she's. holding her yeah. she goes no she goes like this yeah.

and they land right right. and once i realize you know what i mean. i have to fight you to the death right. i'll probably do one like fun glance at. your penis. and i go like this i go and then hey and. then. we cut into my penis we cut in my penis. and cut up and then you go wink yeah. then we know yeah yeah check this out we. grabbed the swords and we're both like. i'm sorry yeah i'm sorry here's a twist. yeah the twist is this yeah we both look. like we're gonna attack each other right. but we somehow know to attack her.

[Music]. as we're fighting in the middle of it. i'm giving you the eyes with the eye. communication that we have yeah but i. don't know if your eyes are saying suck. my dick or attack [ __ ] hurt i know. you learn we learn so we're fighting. we're fighting and as we're fighting i'm. giving you the eyes towards her all. right right right right so. are you streamed that. and i go like this. and as we're fighting with the swords. check it.

it crosses through her oh. and she goes you what do you say. you [ __ ]. what happened how did.

yeah that's the horror part of it we're. trapped yeah the stairs are gone right. you know she's gone yeah but there's no. way up. we have to get on each other's shoulders. no that's you know that's not what you. know what would happen if there's. harmony. if there's [ __ ]. 500 red-headed andrews and 500 right we.

are all gonna suck. that's the orgy the finale is it's like. an orgy right and a disco ball comes. down right that's great i've got two red. dicks right i have another yoshi stuck. in my dick right and it's. yeah yeah yeah it becomes a gay. nightclub it's a gay nightclub right. right. that's good i like it it's a good movie. uh right write it dear paramount plus. yeah fund us. what's a movie called. sucking deer.

i don't know what was it called not. because turtle well turtle island. i like turtles i like turtles no no what. i know what's it called it's cool what. could be a good play on like a gay. nightclub bar scene. name with turtles involved on an island. no but that's i don't want to give. anything away it'll just be like a nod. right you know. like okay you know in engagement the. turtle. no that's that sounds pretty on the nose.

turtle suck you know the gay night again. you know sucker punch the gay community. there's a bottom you know like a top oh. yeah so it's called the the bottom. turtle. bottom of turtle bay. the bottom turtle island the bottom of. turtle island. the bottoms of turtle island the bottoms. of turtle island. that's what it's called the bottom the. bottoms the turtle island see that great. but and it's got so many double. enchantress because i mean the bottom of. the gate community it also means the. bottom of the bottom when we go down. right the bottom i want people listening. to this right now you got to make movie.

posters you have to make a bottle of. journal and maybe you know maybe animate. some of it i would love that i would. love it. it's a good movie look what pete. actually wrote this. there's a masked dick sucking he wrote. like six pages this that's amazing. that's i felt like we talked more than. that he took good notes okay good we. rambled pretty heavily yeah yeah yeah we. oh recorded we haven't recorded yeah go. back into our transcript and and just. you know what i mean. andres you want your directing debut.

with andrew santino and bobby lee you. got it kiddo i think this is the best. movie i've heard the best pitch this is. a really good pitch imagine if we made i. mean i know it's dumb and it's not going. to get why i imagine if we made this. well why couldn't we make something so. dumb this is i mean this is so dumb i. would love to try how much fun would we. have making this movie yeah i mean i. would do it the whole thing put the. chopsticks in my head. no you know how many bad reviews you. would get but it'd be help no but they. would they would. what every review would you get zero. percent around tomatoes right and then.

it would be a cult classic and then. they'd be playing us at movie players. all over the country people want but no. but here's the thing. people know that we made it up on a. podcast on the spot yeah so it's great. the absurdity of us actually making it. yeah could be the thing i would love to. make this movie wow we could just go do. it at catalina island yeah. island the bottoms of turtle island the. bottoms of turtle the bottom of the. island i really love that the bottoms of. turtle island yeah i like that you guys. are in andres do you like that. absolutely would you direct it andreas.

yeah the one thing i'm worried about is. her fees and all that stuff like you. know she's going to be she's going to. want a big the biggest trailer she's. going to complain about. god she's going to be like the worst. i want to double i'm going to double. double trailer. the one that will smith has with the bed. i want two of those two of those i want. one for day shoots one for night shoots. yeah and i'm not you know you know that. when you make the statue you're not. gonna do what did they call it a cast my. body no no no i'm gonna get a double for. that because i'm gonna double for me i'm. not doing that yeah and then your.

demands are so heavy dude i don't even. know if we can we'll have to just. we'll have to like get someone that you. know i don't know could do no i can. sleep on the island. oh. i don't need a trailer you don't you. yeah she's from an island all right. that's your yeah let's go in the tree. did anything like this happen in the. philippines a bit yeah. i think some of this stuff might have. happened right yeah lucky gives yoshi. i got to tell you this i hope i hope. this movie does kind of come together in. some degree.

i never i haven't left so hard in so. long i mean that was so what a [ __ ]. you know what's so fun about doing that. i see it in my head i see the island i. see the movie i see the island i see the. um. you know the grim. i don't know why we're picked. see okay why redhead. i would i would say we have to have a. twist that shows why we were chosen not. because it's redheads and and eight no. by the way those guys down there yeah. it's it's just us it's like other i got. it right it's authentic i got it right.

here okay we put a shining. we've some you we put a shining moment. in it where it's a little confusing and. people don't know why so basically what. happens is right we're in there we kill. the uh the goddess whatever and we're. all goddess. we're all downstairs we're all like. whatever she is right the demon right. demon and we're all sucking each other's. dick down in the bottom of this you know. what i mean yeah. and then it cuts to. right. my liquor store. the one i work at. and right. or my it cuts to my house my little.

squaller. the the camera just kind of slowly moves. through my house. right right and it zooms in where the. toshiba television is right next to it. is a frame of a photo. and of you me and her. right. just you know i mean playing in the yeah. we're we're just playing in cabo or. something. right. and it zooms in. right yeah it's us that we knew each. other and the audience thinks what the.

[ __ ] right what is that what is that and. i want people to you know talk about it. let them make it up right on the. internet you may maybe they'll do a. documentary about that. right explaining right yeah one thing mr. mysterious i like it do you like that. can i give one more go ahead yeah. something like that can i give one more. yeah. the liquor store that you work in you're. a stock boy yeah okay so after the orgy. party whatever right we cut back to new. york. we go back yeah to the stock to the. stock room yeah right the stock room the.

stock where you work yeah and there's a. little young korean boy. who's being taught by the owner to stock. right you know. another like another one in the cycle we. got to go back to my job and and and the. guy goes to you could see the guy goes. you want this job he's like yeah. your new name is yoshi. uh but that's not my name at all my name. is mark. i know but to work here your name is. yoshi yoshi right right he's like okay.

okay and it the way it the way it's. gotta tie together is. put this chopstick in your hair right. he's like this is really racist yeah. yeah it's like trust me trust me yeah. yeah trust me light sugar fish. okay that's very funny i know so. okay. so go back to nozawa oh yeah okay so. wait time out it has to all tie it. inside wait this it has to all tie in. right it has to all tie in so it's got. to be either i work or like we have to.

open with my job being shitty too we. didn't do that we'll do that okay cut. back come back in the beginning of the. movie right. we're writing right now both work and. live in dingy sad [ __ ] up disgusting. you work at like a you know uh. a pub. and but i'm in the basement i'm the. stock boy yeah yeah i'm changing the. kegs yeah all that stuff you have a. shitty shitty pub job and the pub is. right next door right to the liquor. store to liquor store you work at a. liquor store or don't you work at a. chinese food place i feel like you do no. liquor store are you sure it's not a. chinese food. liquor store because but i'm liquor.

store when i see the pub right next door. is all right i work at a chinese place. right chinese restaurant and the. landlord yeah of the buildings yeah. right it's her. right so this is what you do this is. what you do got it this is what you do. forget it. now you can see it right yeah thank you. for that right go ahead so after the. orgy in the bottom of the thing right. we cut to now right a camera moving into.

the chinese restaurant right right. and it goes like there's a cashier and. there's a busy restaurant people coming. in and out right and it goes and there's. a photo of her on the thing. right on the wall on the wall like she. owns it right and it goes back into. right. the pub right and it zooms in on a photo. but she has red hair or not but the same. face same face red hair right right. she's the only one rosie mccann yeah. mccann yeah right right rosie mccann's. yeah and then okay right so rosie mccann.

is the owner here this is what she's. trying to tell us we're right next door. to each other we've never met we. literally. cinematically how pretty you'd see the. world of the story hold on okay you'd. see like look at how cinematically this. would play andre's yeah you you see us. and you see everyone partying in the bar. and they see everyone eating in the. chinese food restaurant and you zoom. down you know like when you can like put. like go down to another floor you know. what i mean but it's the same scene and. below in the floor that's where you're. working then a dingy thing and you suck. down there and everything is shitty. instead yeah and i'm down and we're. literally one wall separating i got.

something better i got something rosie. mckenna owns both oh. what about this what about that rosie. chan owns yours after the the orgy in. the box right yeah it says. five years ago. so now we're going back oh right okay. we're going back. and you and i uh-huh we're on a bus. like a greyhound bus yeah no we were on. like a bus city bus oh okay city bus. you're in one you know seat i'm in their. seat right. and you know i'm reading you know i mean. my book you know what i mean dumplings.

or whatever it is right i make dumplings. right. and you know i mean we have this look. you look at me. and i look at you in the bus yeah. and we don't actually we want you know. what i mean are we gay i don't think so. a lot of this stuff is us being gay. i don't think we are. i don't know i mean we should be at some. point i don't think we are okay but. there was a moment right five years ago. right that we. [Laughter].

it's a lesson or something right right. right she just wanted us to take me. right that's all this was that's all it. was right are we ever gonna explain how. we ended up waking up on the island. naked. no oh wait what the [ __ ] the comedy. version yeah we caught two. we go to like in the end credits. it's literally rosie mccann comes. downstairs and she's like you know you. had to change the guinness keg and he. didn't do it again and i'm like sorry. rose and then she hits me on the head. and i pass out. and then. someone comes down to yoshi yeah yeah.

you didn't you know you haven't filled. all the fortunately no no it takes it. takes away from the hit you on the head. you know it takes away from the like uh. the scary aspects of it the mystery. i think because we you have to remember. we wake up on an island buried naked. out of nowhere this is not like when we. like in the beginning of the movie when. we go to sleep right we both go to sleep. right. an hour later we're in the middle of the. pacific in some [ __ ] island right. right so it's that like mysterious rosie. mccann in mine and rosie chan and yours. yes exactly same person girl it's her.

same person right right but a different. colored hair different look yeah this is. good i like it it's still called the. bottoms of turtle island right are we. gonna end on the orgy. no because we have the cutaway scene. five years either we can do two things. we either do the panning into the things. seeing rosie's photo right or we could. do both we'd do that right we pan pan. right and then eight years ago you and i. were on a bus right right or maybe even. younger something fell out of your. pocket and i picked it up for you and i.

handed it to you right and we kind of. you hand it to me we kind of touch. fingers right but we touch fingers a. little too long. right right so you know i dropped. something and this is how long we did. touch your fingers right you hand it to. me. and there's a little bit of this. just like three little things like this. and i go and i kind of. i do a smile. and it's yours yeah do a little chuckle. pull your hand away and do a chuckle. too much too big. tone it down tone it down two obviously. my bad right. here here do it right now all right give.

me you dropped your um your. your how appropriate is this yeah yeah. um oh your mask you dropped it. like that take mask take it. like here we go. first of all don't i don't want to work. out the scenes we're writing well we're. trying to work it out right now and i'm. writing all right give me the chuckle. okay just give me the give me the light. chuckle that's perfect okay good so we. do eight years then yeah but. i know this is not. film school kid will hate this.

we cut right back to the orgy. we do no because i'll tell you why you. do. because um. i think this is a franchise. oh right [ __ ] we have to set up a sequel. we have to set up a sequel we do right. okay so how do we go what we do is. something else has to happen right just. out of nowhere right so we do okay so we. go. see the photos of her face on the. restaurants right eight years ago on the.

bus right we do the thing right right. yeah we cut back to the orgy right yeah. and everybody's like ah we're sucking. each other's dicks right partying oh so. there's like. right the [ __ ] it shakes everything. shakes opens up about right and then. like. eric griffin eric griffin's got to be in. it. man bobby what the [ __ ] is that. what the [ __ ] you guys. no on what happens it opens up it opens. up and we hear a voice yeah yeah and it. says.

he who sucks hardest gets out first. whatever all right we think whoever's. sucking the best yeah suck at hardest. because right and we have to look at. each other everyone's going suck suck. suck suck suck no no you wouldn't say. sucks like if every okay if everyone's. competing because you can go like that. you're gonna know everyone's competing. if everyone's competing to get the [ __ ]. out there's one guy that's gotta ride. they're not gonna encourage each other. to suck each other's dick but it could. be like this. suck no. suck you wouldn't do that you wouldn't. do that you this is what you'd see.

the guy's saying all right yeah whoever. sucks the heart is right immediately. right and you just. [ __ ] focused. and during all this chaos i'm getting. sucked off right and you're stuck. right but this feels so good. amidst all the chaos amidst all the. chaos. it's all the chaos one guy bobby one guy.

gets it get extricated one guy. and he is gotta be. that's the sequel that's the sequel and. i don't know what happens to him. right he's our guy now one red and one. one red and one yoshi gets to go up. right because. you're not gonna go up and then i'm not. gonna i'm gonna be in the sequel as well. correct i know thank you all right all. right so sequel for yourself one yoshi. and one lucky gets sucked up right we. both get sucked up right not the. original guys right just two other guys. right let's just open up with the second. movie.

let's just let's open up for the second. book we both write and then the credits. go right two right we're up right. right credits right. the end turtle island already right. right the music and then all over. and everyone in the theater is like oh. god we gotta wait a year for the. next one guess what you don't you really. we released the second one a week later. because we filmed the back to back like. the lord's rings. right we had like a secondary time to. back to the secondary game yeah we shot.

two movies oh. [ __ ] dude anyway oh god man i laughed so. hard in that one of the most fun movies. i think that will hit the theaters. hopefully in 2022 2025 and if twenty-one. never. uh bottoms up too much s and the d stuff. but that's okay too much. i feel like yeah way too much yes if i. look if i was a film critic. i mean i think the first thing is like i. think it was a little bit too much. focused on. the the the sexuality that being said. yeah pretty good film pretty scary.

pretty scary um honestly uh. our fans please can you drop some man we. should actually if you're a good artist. can you draw some stuff for us so we can. get we need to have a storyboard to be. able to pitch this we have a storyboard. right we need like some art concepts we. do need our concepts concepts so please. send in that stuff but don't just submit. just to write to go i loved it don't do. that please submit real art to this. submit real storyboards um i thought it. was. very good for just coming up with it i. loved it on the spot i loved it i. thought it was a great movie yeah yeah i.

thought it was a great movie and i can't. wait to make it a good writing team i. think yeah yeah we just we bounce well. and pete pete uh. we're gonna make an nft over this script. that pete did and sell it on the. internet for 800 million dollars yeah. um i want to take i want to let rudy. take us out do the noi do thank you for. being a bad friend and then the noise. into that camera go ahead rude. thank you for being a bad friend. it's scary.

[Music].