Taste Our Rainbow | Ep 204 | Bad Friends

oh saak Sacramento Sacramento California. we're on tour and we've got a couple. days left Sacramento California Sao Long. Beach Long Beach Windsor onario no. Windsor Ontario Oh Canada then where. else in Canada Niagara Niagara Falls. anio and then Tucson Arizona and where. do we finish the tour Vegas 420 ineg I. can't wait for that one badp pod.com is. where you're going to get those tickets. badp pod.com we also have badri. merch.com and.

exclusive content uh mcone bony mcone is. up there putting a bunch of stuff up. from the tour you also have bonus. content available on the patreon go to. patreon.com congratulations to everyone. involved congratulations to you go to. badf friends pod.com thank you you two. are bad friends who are these two idiots. a white dude and an Asian dude you two. are. disgusting you two are something we're. bad friends before we begin I want to. say this okay okay me and Andrew had. many discussions about about this right.

and we just thought when your name came. up to do it home run not home run we. left for 4 hours. straight just the thought of you makes. us laugh so I just wrote the song for. you oh yeah la la la Craig. a I like your. eyebrows one is thicker than the other. one you which is weird no yeah really no.

okay Rosy Cheeks he's got rosy cheeks I. got Rosa curly hair what yeah no just. let us finish yeah yeah yeah let us do. you have rosacea What's Rosa I I get red. I guess I ate something spicy once and. between that and the dress up horribly. funny I just turned red for like three. months straight yeah yeah yeah your. whole body or just your face just my. face yeah I ate something spicy once. impossible that's impossible yeah yeah.

so you ate salsa one time well it was. like like Mexican salsa from like a oh. hey hey hey. hey. car no we have Mexicans here whoa. two do you want to introduce him and. yeah um uh let me do a little history. yeah do a little bit of a history I. don't know how he got my number I don't. know how that stop I know stop amazing. God your cheeks dude I just want to grab. them I want to grab I grab.

right and I just want to go on your face. I really do so anyway um go ahead so um. dude did you steal those from Santa. those cheeks dude those are so Rosy he. stole them from Santa holy [ __ ] have you. seen the photos of Santa say ho ho ho. real fast ho ho ho no that's not Santa I. I will tip over if you make me laugh I. realize all right stop I'm not done I'm. not done with the intro thank you so. much for doing this by the way I love. you so much but my point is is this um I. don't know how got my number but you.

know for years ago you started calling. me to do your shows he does a show. called horribly funny it's a wonderful. show it's a wonderful show it's probably. the best bringer room is that it's not a. bringer room no um promoted show outside. Booker in LA right we have about four or. five guys that are outside promoters and. they have their um well they use the. same people let's be honest yeah they do. yeah yeah it's you and me yeah I know I. know yeah and then you always get Aro. but that's a he gets Areno all the time.

right and then um who hasn't. aged he like he looks the same as he did. when you did he really does it's a. little creepy how young creepy he looks. young anyway he's the best promoter but. every time we're backstage and I look at. you're you're always in a puddle of. sweat yeah you're just a bu bundle of. nerves and you don't know how to relax. yeah yeah and I asked you questions back. there um make him so nervous I know what. do you make him nervous who who who. makes you more nervous me or Andrew. Bobby there's no one that makes me more.

nervous than you back there Andrew like. shows up 15 minutes early he you know. he's peaceful and and just doesn't wait. wait wait you're great he's peaceful. like it's like he's meditating like oh. so he's like Namaste yeah right and I'm. chaos and I had to wrestle Orie Adams. like you know so that he doesn't go on. stage because you don't want him. watching you wait wait a minute or Adams. didn't want to watch Bobby no Bobby. didn't want or Adams to watch him oh. right yeah yeah you know why why he's.

judgy oh and I don't like judgy oh oh. you don't want him to see your material. then say something no I just don't want. him to be there I love him as a human oh. right I just don't want him to watch no. watch to you does he want to watch you. what does he care about watching you he. likes to watch me and I say no but. anyway um but so I'm so out of all the. comics you hire I'm the one that stress. m is it because I'm the only one that. really asks you questions about life. well that too but honestly you also make.

me the most happy like whenever I text. and you actually respond I get the. Zoomies I like like a dog yeah I I don't. know what to do with myself like you run. around yeah W it's like the part in. Black Swan where I just hold my phone. against my chest and drop to my knees. you know it seems is that the right. movie it seems sexual no no no no you're. not sexually attractive no no no no no. no no no no wait what do you mean no no. no too many no not at all like he's not. he's not attractive at all no he's very.

attractive yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah but. I'm not your type no it's not that it's. just I'm very grateful and lucky to be. working with you you're worth every text. you know I text you so many times to get. a response and and I just I I hear that. Andre I'm worth every text yeah every. non-response when you finally do respond. yeah oh I was getting a little personal. we have different experiences that I'm. going to put that on your uh Tombstone. worth every text no me I am really worth.

every text yeah yeah you know that I. don't know yeah you do yeah you do. though I don't know don't act shy and. cold I'm prompt I'm on time I'm always. nice I always say hey thank you and then. I leave immediately after my set I get. out of the Green Room I don't take any. air you take a lot of air may I yeah. sound late never never then what the. [ __ ] well it's it's I'm always early is. what he's saying I know but am I you're. always early too but like getting you. there it's getting get you there that's.

getting me there what do you mean how. many times has he canceled how many. times has he canel on me believe it or. not zero wow you think it's you Z who's. canceled more him or. me there no he has no it was an accident. but it was oh but stop Yes but he has. I've never canceled he just said it was. an accident no no he said it was it was. like a miscommunication of booking one. doesn't matter no I've never canceled no. he hasn't canceled I've never canel he. but he had he had been booked and he. didn't be he wasn't there no that's not. true I knew early and and I I.

I I I did it I fixed me out you did it. no yeah um say your name properly it's. Greg agop agop I call you a goop we call. you we call you the goop over here goop. no way well your new name for this show. is the goop the goop dog I think it's. the goop dog well you're goop you're. goop you zies like a dog I love dog one. day I will I will be able to take care. of one but for now I'm just taking care. of me which is hard what do you mean. what do you mean.

it takes a lot to take care he has. [ __ ] a thousand animals he can take. care of animals you're fine you can my. for you page is all puppies and Bobby. Lee what is that on your dating profile. as well do you say that to people my for. you my fyp is Bobby Lee and puppies. they're they're the things that make I. think not just me but lots of people. very happy I agree I look both these. things are wonderful stop kissing his. ass it's enough I had enough okay so how. about this then okay okay what are you. you I'm ethnicity wise Lebanese and no.

okay my mom what why is that your mom's. I've always wanted I never know I I. don't know okay I don't know either but. like yeah you do know yeah I do know so. why did you say that okay I my mother is. leban was born in Lebanon mhm my father. was born in Syria oh okay lived in. Lebanon I'm Armenian so I'm just as lost. as you are so wait you're you're.

Armenian your mother's so Syrian and. Lebanese that's what you are you're. Syrian and Lebanese yeah can I ask a. question serious question I feel like if. you were raised in that area and you. were still there that you maybe wouldn't. have survived no no I'm too bougie for. for that no I I just think something. with something would have happened yeah. I feel like they would have got. you you would open up a paper bag on the. side of the road something would happen. something boom I I didn't say that yeah. no honestly yeah I'm glad I'm I'm not. there you I feel like you like a kebab.

I'm a vegetarian are you just SLE a. sleeper. agent are you a sleeper agent dude dud. when you do zingers you got to come you. got to come clean you got to come clean. stay it clean you can't stumble. on you have to say are you a sleeper. agent or give it to Carlos it to him. write it down and then give it to him. yeah anyway wait a minute you're a. vegetarian yeah are are you single uh. single vegetarian no can I just say that. I I I don't what I mean are you a single.

vegetarian I stopped eating meat because. I'm Miley Cyrus all right I want to say. something did she say hold on did she. tell you not to eat meat anymore well I. was really high at a Miley Cyrus concert. twice and she just said we need to stop. eating our friends and I'm like when uh. once in in New York City at Terminal 5. and then at the wilter theater in La and. then I just. replaced I replaced all the meat for. cheese and then I like gained 60 lbs. goop dog I from not eating bread to just.

eating bread yeah and and yeah I'm you. went from meat to cheese and you gained. 60 lbs in what span of time uh probably. two years oh that's not that bad okay. yeah but then I just keep going so how. long have you been a vegetarian since. 2015 right so can I just ask you. something and I I don't want to be. mean you know I don't want I I don't. want to do it ask ask I don't ask you. must eat a lot of vegetables no I don't. eat any vegetables I love chips I love. chippies I see that's what Chi is so.

you're a vegetarian no vegetables at all. yeah sometimes I sometimes I wake up in. the middle of the night because I I. thought I heard a bag of Doritos like. that's vegetarian you're more of a. carbar yeah yeah I. literally I I buy the. vegetables you're a carpar dude just so. good that's best life youve ever you're. a carbet Arian and that's okay cuz. you're not eating meat and I and I agree. with this by the way I understand this. cuz meat meat can affect people very. negatively it gives people cancer yeah I.

eat meat but I'm trying to cut down on. Bad Boy meat like hamburgers bad boy. meat right red meat bad boy meat I'm. trying to eat fish and chicken I thought. you GNA say fish and chips which is I'm. not eating you can have my chips I'll. just the fish so you don't eat fish. either I I can't touch it I can't cook. it but I I'm open to it more because you. can't pet fish but like cows are so. dumb you. know you could pet a you could pet a. fish if you caught it if you caught a. fish you can pet it you don't want to. I don't want to pet a fish what about.

people that have pet a fish as pets I. actually don't like when they there are. places where you could pet starfish. that's gross that's gross pretty gross. yeah okay so I need to hold on before we. move forward what is your what is your. meal day consist of because then if you. don't eat vegetables and you don't want. no meat no veggies where's protein. coming from it can't be from Doritos. cheese I lit only has a limited amount. of protein in it I literally if I could. have chips for every meal they have. every flavor in chips what was breakfast. today today I was going to die since.

like yesterday so like today I've had a. a bagel and I don't usually eat Bagels. but it has cinnamon and raisins in it so. it's sweet so I like sugar give me give. me one day of meals yesterday like. breakfast lunch dinner I like eggs so. you had eggs in the morning and I always. Uber Eats or door Dash I don't cook. right here right here yeah I do the same. meal same I'm the same and I don't even. feel bad anymore like I I don't even. look and you know what I think it's more. cost effective it is it really is. because like I order groceries whenever.

like you know once a month and I. literally just throw them right away I. have lots of vegetables in my fridge. that I'm going to be throwing away in a. week but like I won't even open it wait. so in the morning you have eggs just. eggs yeah and then what happens at lunch. it's door dash time chips oh uh door. dash time yeah it's you know there's. lots of pizzas there's there's Mexican. food is easy to to switch there's just. you know what's your favorite dinner to. have yeah it used to be bar barbecue but.

I do like barbecue sauce like you could. put barbecue sauce on salad and still. you know get the I I so you're putting. barbecue sauce on romae lettuce yeah oh. yeah there's fake there's there there's. Beyond chicken no chicken impossible. that sounds like a chicken imposs it is. chicken. impossible so do do you know what you've. ever had for dinner do you know what. you've ever had what have you had for. dinner last night what was dinner last. night oh I like you know it's not what. you like what did you have do you know.

what you did honestly I've been like. freaking out about today for yeah like I. just let me say this let me cut you off. yeah first of all we love you to death I. think you're such you're you're a. standup guy you're so fun and you're. very nice and you put together great. shows and you're great to work with. you're responsive you're smart you're. sweet you're cool you're the best. outside promoter I've ever worked with. outside of that you're just a great guy. great guy and I'm saying this I'm being. genuine we love you we have you on the. show because we love you don't be. nervous we just want to have fun with.

you but we adore you you're such a a. wonderful human being your energy is you. know if someone says like you have an. aura around you you have all the colors. whoa you're the entire [ __ ] rain. there's some colors missing huh there's. some colors missing which. ones I mean he's not. aggressive color no black there's no. black but there's no black on the. rainbow oh right right that's true yeah. there's no black you're the rain you're. a [ __ ] the rainbow colors you have. all of them you have all the Rainbow. thank you yeah can you feel that in your. in your soul because you're a good human. being I that's way too kind and way too.

overwhelming I made it worse somehow I. thought I was going to make it easier no. no no no no uh I you know one of my. favorite things to do ever is is have an. edible and then I like to turn off the. lights and then I like to eat sour. Skittles in the dark with my eyes closed. and I like and sometimes I suck too hard. but like I have tasted the rainbow and. and it's pretty awesome like but then. you have to know when to stop because if. not you'll get cold sores in your mouth. but that's like my favorite thing to do.

and anything could be playing in the. background Taste the rainbow tonight but. it has to be sour you get high you eat. Skittles you get cold. sores. yeah if you don't stop like if you don't. stop you have to this is you tasting the. rainbow it's amazing what do you mean. don't stop just a regular bag of. Skittles is not that many Skittles I. know but like first I started with the. regular Skittles which come in the mini. bag and then I start eating the whole.

sour Skittles and then one day I'm just. like it's still early let's do a second. bag of Skittles and then I woke up the. next morning and I couldn't move my. mouth but it was too. sore so like I couldn't even have. water no to stop oh God how are you. alive Taste the rainbow how do you live. let's do the new phrase hey new phrase. for Skittles Taste the rainbow know when. to stop in modation in moderation. everything in moderation so um do you do. that nightly oh I um that no I had to.

stop because honestly like my mouth was. going to fall apart so now special. special treats it's a can I how old are. you oh I'm going to stick with 27. because honestly people that's what I've. been saying since I was 27 yeah yeah. yeah yeah and how how many years have. you been saying. it no 10 I'm 27 you're 27 yeah you so. you really don't want to tell us your. real. age wait why does why. I'm 40 Bob's 52 I'm 52 I could get away.

with like just more if I was younger. what do you mean get away with what are. you looking to get away with have you. committed crimes no so what do you think. you're getting away with you you're a. youngl looking guy you look healthy you. have nice skin good hair let me see your. teeth. smile has Skittles taken care of yeah. have you lost a few no let me see are. you look have don't smile with teeth let. me just show me no show me your teeth. just show me teeth like this. no why why my dentist this is like me.

trying to get my child to brush their. teeth at night no I can't this guy used. to do standup how long did you do. standup For many year actually like I. was freaking out so much today my. brother sent me a video of me doing. standup I feel like that part of me's. died but I I I I but I I it felt I. thought I would hate it watching it but. I liked it a lot yeah you were so funny. it was the work ethic that kind of I. carried on into horribly funny yeah but. your work ethic is a producer incredible. if you just did that as a how long did.

you do how many years did you do comedy. I started in in 200 uh I think uh 16. probably okay and then you went for how. long a couple years yeah and then I I. probably I started horribly funny in. 2017 at the lyric Hyperion which you're. you're you're okay yeah uh uh yeah and. then uh I and then uh uh did the lodge. room and then when I finally got. horribly funny Into The Comedy Store. fulltime that's when I had to stop. comedy because I was I burnt myself out.

I how many years is that two no probably. um probably um math oh I 2016 2017 2018. which of these years did it start one. more 2019 maybe one more 2020 right. before the pandemic yeah probably that. so you did about four years of stand up. give or take yeah yeah probably yeah. three to four years okay are is your. family here in Los Angeles oh no they're. literally all dead um but except my. brothers. like my stop.

stop bro bro that was out of pocket dude. stop it that's not funny caros it was. just the. unexpected obviously they're dead yeah. that's how I get to eat Skittles in door. Dad I'm literally like you know that. family is still alive mom and dad are. gone dad died last November this. November oh [ __ ] oh. my how how how uh oh you you guys aren't. going to like it uh I I guess it was a. mixture between uh heart complications.

and covid and uh and something else I. think it was like another thing that. that was mixed into that he a vegetarian. water in his no no no no I I'm going to. die soon too that's why like every every. hor say that I freak out too much though. like you gotta that's that's why I. brought you on to the show okay because. we want to help you navigate we want you. to relax and have a different Outlook. and just approach things a little.

differently you're not going to die. under you're not going to die under have. you been to the doctor recently I could. I could talk never actually I've gotten. away with not going to the doctor you've. never been I don't know if you're. getting away with. it well here's the thing When We Were. Young our our the doctor family doctor. said that our mother was sick because we. were fat and then oh my. God was this a doctor it was an Armenian. doctor which is equivalent to a dog. doctor he's dead too he's dead too she's. dead yeah she's dead all right so hold. on back it up your father passed away.

and we're very sorry about that in. November dad is dead my dad were you. guys close you know um we could have. been closer you know but but yeah I I. but basically my upbringing was super. weird family moved from not weird it's. not weird we they moved from Lebanon or. um and they just we lived in like there. was four apartments and a house so like. my whole family kind of lived there like. 13 people and uh slowly they you know.

started dying so like so like it almost. looks like we did it on purpose or. something it's like nine of them are. dead or 10 of them like it's just me and. my brothers and a cousin left but like. also before one of the horribly funnies. one of my aunts died in my arms and then. I had to go like literally the same. night to and like it was Theo Von was on. that night and Natasha lero and M I'm so. sorry no no no no I was I was it's. insane yeah I'm like lifting her head up. it's going back down oh so she died. literally died in your arm how old was.

this woman God knows how old anyone is. probably. [Laughter]. 27 hey bad friends looking for a super. offer for Super Bowl 58 draftking sports. book has you covered new customers can. bet on the big game and turn five bucks. into 200 instantly in bonus bets I put a. couple of uh shekels on the big game. myself I'm not going to tell you who I. bet on it's none of your business bet in. private and bet responsibly download the. draftking Sportsbook app now and use the. code bad Friends new customers can bet.

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think she's dying let's let's let's play. it out ring ring. hello sweetie yeah it's your. Aunt hello I'm dying okay I'll be right. there right so you go up there and down. I'm leading oh down she used to live up. there now doesn't matter does it [ __ ]. matter kind of does cuz it could you. could have fell down all right all right. um but so yeah all after it happened. forget it anyway and then you walked.

into her place no luckily she wasn't. feeling well so my brother said oh hey. I'm going to go for one minute can you. keep an eye out on her until I get back. we're going to take her to the hospital. and of course with my luck you know I'm. like you know talking to her making her. laugh and then like her head just falls. down and then I'm like wake up or I'm. going to call 911. and and then I keep like bringing up her. head and it keeps falling her down what. and then wake up for around to call 91. what so wait a minute minute yeah.

so so is it the building does it as. asbestos in it is everyone dying cuz the. building black mold is the building. dangerous I don't know but you still. live there I I live there I live there. alone we got to get you out no I like it. I. have to much you live in a four four. flored apartment by yourself the whole. thing no no I had to they wouldn't let. me live in the house by myself so I. moved to one of the apartments and you. know who's they my brothers okay so how.

many many brothers do you have two and. so your mother passed away how long ago. oh she had Ms so yeah I don't remember. so your mother passed away a long time. ago your father just died years and and. your are your brothers in you close yeah. yeah okay so they're the ones that get. you through yeah but did they think that. you're. the next next no they I mean do they are. they what I'm saying is are your. brothers worried about you all like yeah. but they also know that like you know I.

they're not going to be able to get me. to like go on walks sometimes they trick. me like like they trick me into going to. the park the other day how they trick. you Skittles no coffee coffee but I. can't have coffee either I have to do. Decap and you know why because of this. cuz you know I had to yeah I you know I. didn't want to cuz I didn't want to. freak people out backstage with being. nervous oh wait a minute but coffee. makes you nervous yeah everything makes. me nervous well how can we get you not. nervous yeah I guess I I don't know this.

is an invasive question but I feel like. we love you and we're getting closer do. you can you come a little bit more if. you come I'm on Lexapro you can't come. no I've already asked them questions. like that yeah and and and I mean cuz I. think maybe com I think you're asexual. I'm just not interested in putting. myself out there like but you like [ __ ]. yeah I just don't like I don't like that. you know I just don't want to be hurt. you don't want to be hurt you are a rock.

star no I'm not yes I'm a comedian I'm I. think like people ask like you know I. have options as a promoter half my job. is to keep my pants on the other half is. to you know book book great shows with. with I don't think that's the first half. I don't I don't think think so I think. the first half would be book a good show. okay book a good show keep your pants on. and we're ready to go but like I'm you. know I'm I'm I'm out of shape I don't. take care of myself I don't like compr. selfesteem issue oh that to start with.

but also like when you do the math I'm. really at the moment I'm really happy. alone like I'm really H like if there. I'm like at night I sleep considering a. dog and I'm just like I just don't want. anything breathing in the house which. sounds bad but like I just don't want. responsibility I don't want liability. you know I don't like sharing things. it's not going to work with me I think. I've made myself too comfortable okay. but as a 27-year old man oh now it's. it's cuz we know it's a lie yeah ask. could be trick do you ever.

masturbate. uh I think you need to come Greg I think. you need to come and I mean this I don't. you're backed up I think you don't need. to go out with look you don't need to. have you can be being single is there's. nothing wrong with living I'm single. dude yeah there's not there's no one. judging that but I'm saying like for. your mental and and and physical health. of your brain and body you do need to. come you I think you need to come a. little bit once in a while you. have like a doctor oh no wait because it.

burns no when you come does it burn you. don't enjoy it you don't like it. honestly and that's you know what I take. it all back you you I want you do. whatever makes you comfortable I do. think your jitteriness may be relieved. by a little bit of tension relief yeah I. I really don't know okay let's move on. then I feel like uncomfortable no no I. we we don't want to make you feel. uncomfortable at all I'm just curious. cuz I want you to be more relaxed in. life cuz I feel like when I walk in the. back room there you're going to have an. ISM I feel like you're so nervous that. and I'm like you got to chill.

everything's okay Andre and you've done. such a good job so it's like I went to. Paulie's Christmas party yeah I go up I. look through the window just to see. who's there and I see Harland some bunch. of people and I see this guy sitting on. the couch yeah like he's like with his. both hands like this and I stared him. for like 3 minutes he wasn't talking to. anybody he was just sitting there with. his Ros Rosy Cheeks right and then when. I came into the party you didn't move. from that position at all you were there. for hours H yeah but I was talking to. Harland and and and some of the other.

Comics before oh okay yeah I was there. early I was there early cuz I had to. leave early oh that's right I remember. can what are your hobbies I go to a lot. of uh uh festivals lots of concerts. music music is okay what do you like. what do you what kind of music do you. like I love Miley Cyrus I love The. Killers you know I love imagine. everything people don't like like you. know what do mean who doesn't like Miley. Cyrus who doesn't like the killers I. love Sam toown is one of my favorite. albums of all time I love so Miley Cyrus. The Killers Imagine Dragons who else uh.

Nelly forado love I'm Like a Bird yeah. like I I love like pop and like rock. music you know kind of like a bird I. only fly away I don't have a sing I. don't know I come on SOL is homeless I. don't know what kind of bird would you. be if you were a bird bud I was scared. of birds actually my. my my brother had a bird who was too. friendly and he would what do you mean. too friendly I remember break in my box. spring in half because the bird would.

chase me and this is like probably when. I was 24 um just a couple years ago yeah. like and then I just threw like a. comforter at the bird it's just. like but I didn't get it. what what kind of bird was it a street. bird a street a street bird like a. finchy a small the brown one the little. one the brown one you you little tiny. one yeah like the the one you would see. on the street so that little tiny guy. was chasing you around the [ __ ]. apartment huh and you broke a spring.

ball yeah and you threw a comforter yeah. I was more 20 than 20 yeah wait a minute. how did your you mean a pigeon is that. what your no no it was like one of those. cute birds but it's just like do what. birds do don't right why did your how. did your brother have it in the home did. he get it from outside and brought it in. it look look at some of these birds like. that kind of like that yeah yeah but. like more more Brown more Brown now are. you does that image make you scared when. you look at that does that look like. that looks dangerous.

um it's it it's great when it's there. but if it was here it's too close too. close oh it's too close all right put. away the birds birds in the studio yeah. when's the last time you went to a zoo. um last time I went to a zoo is probably. because anthropology class made me and a. baboon started jerking off in front of. me and I don't want to go. back wait stop it was traumatic yeah I. wrote that in the anthropology paper too. that the a baboom started jerking easily.

amused baboon I mean easily aroused. baboom was he staring at you when he was. doing it it was anger in his eyes I'm. just like I'm writing this paper as. quick as you're jerking you know just I. got to get out of here so you haven't. been there since high school no I was in. community college for eight and a half. years I I liked it a. lot I loved you you didn't want to. transfer no so many years so eight for. what community colle it Glendale. Community colle it GCC baby yeah wow.

home of the fighting dragons I of the. fighting dragons what did you study at. GCC uh mass communications but. journalism and photography is what I was. you know journalism and photography and. mass in mass communication umbrella in. eight years of this and did you finish I. I couldn't finish just kidding I. finished you finished yeah okay well. what do you get when you finish I don't. know uh I you get to wear a red dress. and and a tassel you get to have tassel. but you haven't used the you got a. degree right I wasn't going to go back.

to school it was more of you know people. I think you did a lot of school I. wouldn't have to go after eight years. you could be a doctor I'm practically a. doctor of what do you think you're a. doctor of you have a doctorate in what. Ticket Master I think like I like you. know I look at seating charts way too. much of your of what for shows. everything yeah wow I love charts we got. to get him a job at Live Nation or. something we could just following the. blue dots that's no what I'm just saying. don't you think you want to move on from. doing local comedy shows and move your.

way up I think you'd be a great promoter. in in a bigger scale but I guess you. know honestly like you know I love The. Comedy Store like I I don't it's always. going to be there yeah what's your dream. Greg honestly it it just keeps changing. like with with everyone that dies you. know. but I don't know my dream I guess is so. I don't tip over today but star R. survived and I'm going to survive and. tell me what you think a dream of yours. might be or like what is a goal in life.

that you'd like to achieve it was. getting back to The Comedy Store like. well you're there baby so that's it you. you're doing it you don't there's. nothing else that you feel like you kind. of want a little bit in life oh like. before it was doing comedy and and going. on the road I got to open for pully a. few times which was really fun but then. I just stopped and and um you know what. we got to have this guy he's got to open. for us you got to do one of our shows. yeah you got to do one of our shows. you're coming to open open for us in. long I think in Long Beach you you're. going to come down to Long Beach and.

open for us they don't have tickets. anymore what do you mean we're sold out. yeah you have single Pizza no you're. performing you're performing you mean. the backstage you're not going to be in. the audience no yes yeah no yes no. yes why why not you'll have to we would. love it we would love it for us how. about this honestly anything for you. Bobby I wouldn't I Bob Paul has asked me. to do the podcast before and I said no. cuz I can't yeah but but but here's the. deal you're going to how about come with. us to Long Beach okay be backstage side.

stage you'll be with Carlos and fancy. and the crew if you decide at some point. you'd be fond to go say hi he's not. going to do it we have to make him do it. no you don't can't force him to do. anything is if it's not too soon oh uh I. wouldn't need time why because I you. know I'm more of like a Britney Spears. type performer where it's like robotic. so you want do you want we can get pyro. and all sorts of [ __ ] for you do you. want a snake up there knives let's get.

you a knife February 24th you're going. to be doing Long Beach with us you're. going to at least come and hang out a. month away it's a month away a month. away yeah yeah well how about this we'll. get you Transportation down there we'll. take care of you no I was going to come. anyway and you have your own show. horrible funny why don't you just put. yourself up there for five minutes yeah. why not honestly like I would die though. but because no you wouldn't I promise. you you won't die I promise you he could. die give his family who's going to be on. deck like you know it just like you know. it's always worried about oh are they. going to be who's going to be on deck. what if someone cancels last minute and. all right okay but no but I I would I.

honestly it would be an honor um I want. to get some scoop on so you you you're. promoter right and I'm sure there are. Comics that you book right that are. nicer than others the goop scoop I want. the goop scoop we want the goop scoop. baby right tile card up there you don't. have to name names but let me ask you. let me ask you a question are there. Comics Kinder than others absolutely. okay are there Comics that you book. right that you don't really like that. much uh that's not necessarily true.

because like that's the problem like I. had uh I I only book Comics I like oh. that's great oh that's good yeah because. you always book arino yeah and you love. him yeah he's great yeah yeah he kills. he kills yeah is there someone that you. don't really like that's not that nice. to you that you book and you can say it. and we'll we're going to blank it out. and cut it out you're not gonna yeah say. we are we look at me look at me look at. me right now we would never I'm dead. serious we would never we'll do. something we'll never going to [ __ ] you. we would never do that that's insane we. guested you on our you're on our show we.

would never I I've never seen jzl neck. on your shows I he has done okay well. then he's Anthony gentl is one of my. favorite comics and actually he was. supposed to do the the show that you did. uh January 8th and act I was he asked to. do it and I said we already I've never. seen Nicki Glazer on your shows Nikki. Glazer has done the Nikki Glazer we need. we need to sign a petition to get Nikki. Glazer back to the West Coast no she. loves St Louis no okay well okay yeah I. I I love Nikki has Eliza done your shows.

yeah Eliza's a regular Nikki Nikki could. move back to the West Coast you've got a. little bit of room in that place of. yours I think right yeah we could house. yeah yeah you could house House com but. is there but so who hasn't on your show. and we be bleep it that you don't like. that much there's got to be cover your. mouth when you do it and we'll bleep it. we'll bleep it I promise we I swear no. you know what what comic I don't like. yeah that hasn't done your show that has. done it or hasn't done it that you don't. that you're like G. you're not going to bleep it I swear we. swear why would we [ __ ] you look at me.

that's my producer our produc right our. producer we were not going to [ __ ] you I. pr stuff too yeah we won't [ __ ] you over. cover your mouth if you say it I'm not a. big fan of yeah of course he's not going. to do it anyway I know that's the only. one have you had no he won't resp he I. had him when we were in the belly room. but he's not responding you know as far. as you know you have his number no um. all right say who's been the meanest to. you who's been been the rudest or the. most disrespectful or just kind of not. nice to you I guess you're going to.

bleep it we promise well uh uh I. guess has different it was hard to work. with him yeah that's a bummer that's but. it's also not a surprise if he's on a. little later than you know and even if. it's natural causes uh and and he's. probably a type of guy that doesn't say. hi to you and talk to you yeah I it was. it was hard because like the first time. like the first time I and the only like. time I really messed up was when I was. working my job before I had before this.

was a marketing operations project. specialist too many words yeah it was. used to be marketing production traffic. coordin it was so many words what was. this for uh uh a health care company so. what were you doing for them traffic. production project coordinator yeah but. what are you doing we know the. title traffic production were you when. you showed up and you clocked in what. the [ __ ] did you do I get breakfast. okay Cafe downstairs all right right you.

did got breakfast for people how long no. no no no for me and then I go back up. and then you know I I I worked on this. uh project management tool system uh you. did you did programming I wouldn't say. that cuz I can't do that so what did you. it was like programming for dummies you. literally like instead of building. something crazy you just click and drag. and then all of a sudden the app has. that tool okay cool oh cool yeah so you. yeah okay you were building so you're. building something on on the. internet hey hey hey it's 2024 and let's.

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law pound 529 from your cell phone. that's for the people F the people.com. badri or pound law pound 529 from your. cell phone this a paid. advertisement what would be your dream. job now if I said what is your dream job. Greg are you doing it is it booking. booking or not I love doing this. honestly I stopped dreaming but I maybe. I have to start again you don't have to. dream but I'm saying what would be a job. that you go you know what would be. really fun to do I I would would enjoy. blank a festival Booker like I love. Festival L that's what we need to get.

him to do Live Nation Coachella needs. help like you know you'd be great at. that Coachella needs help why you think. the lineups are not good oh my God I. mean I'm looking for any excuse to go. you know eat two Edibles and roll around. in the desert but like it's not. happening okay let me let me I'll throw. some names out and you see if you would. book it see if you would book it how. about this Lana Del re great the last. album was great this is a this is a she. headlining first night are you into it. no because have you seen her perform is.

she a bad performer he's a bad performer. and he knows how about piece how about. PES paluma paluma you know uh he he. looks like more friendly and more. dangerous than Bad Bunny at the same. time okay how about little little Uzi. vert you like little Uzi I don't know. that one yeah yeah okay let's say Andrew. and I were like we're we're managers we. manage a bunch of bands and we're. calling you m and you you're booking. Coachella uhhuh all right you get night. two Greg who you got for us hey so no. we're ping him oh hey goop we're manager.

oh sorry about that hey goop it's. us hey goop it's Santino and and Bob. what's happening hi WME or Uta no we're. just Santino Le Santino Lee managera. hello hi yeah hey goop so we got some. bands for you we're booking night two. you're booking night two so can we throw. you some bands and you say yes or no so. we got Lim limp the lipster Lim Lim. biscuit uh I I you can't do it like that. because because because they're our. clients it's gonna hurt us right so you.

got to come up with some excuse uh we're. and be smart about it I would contact. Carlos he's booking Sunday and he's. doing lots of Throwbacks okay cool okay. good by the way good deflection very. good because we can't take it on. Saturday Okay so goop uh we've got uh a. couple of throwback stuff but uh I guess. we'll give that to Carlos so so you only. want new age stuff right now right uh no. we got Adele oh Adele yes welcome you. like her oh you want aell yeah she. headline oh she she could she could have.

the whole thing yeah she okay good we. don't manage her we don't. anymore Dr we were just testing okay. yeah we don't manage her we have Selena. Gomez she like to perform what do you. think okay you're not into headliner or. probably second or what second oh second. yeah second and the night or second to. last no second to last and second to in. the lineup okay good that's two. different things but trying to say to. last in the night so call so let's put. her we got so we got Selena she's going.

to come sing wonderful um we've. got Neil Diamond yeah we don't know we. got Neil Diamond he already has a show. America com to America you know no no. your parents didn't then sing that when. they came over did you say parents twet. car. line I the Glee song that's leam. Michelle and she's welcome she's welcome.

all right so no denal no even. Sunday yeah Carlos is. booking he got a [ __ ] up Carlos is a. [ __ ] job give me your give me your. ideal lineup at a festival yeah one. night just give me one night don't look. at that that's don't look at that get. that four four acts four acts. five opener. go this is like so hard like I I I would. have to get back to no no no do it now. you do it now Miley's definitely there.

or a Miley one we don't know yet the. arrangement but Miley no particular. order Miley yeah and and the killers are. a great Festival act so Killers Killers. yeah. um [ __ ] I you know I uh [ __ ] uh I have. to have to who's on your Spotify. playlist right now who's on your most. listened no uh oh Kesha ket's a good. time okay KET three good yeah um I've.

been uh when you say good time though. what does that mean what does that mean. just you know have a few drinks and you. know so you'd like to have a few drinks. and you like to have a little bit of. eddies do you do other ingestibles no. because once I I have an addictive. personality obviously yeah so I have to. have you done. acid no Molly no Molly I would like like. I would love to but I I know that would. be last person have you ok oh yeah you.

do yeah but I suck at it suck at it any. he nose beers oh uh no I thought I had. something in my nose no I'm cocain. cocaine you have cocaine never done. cocaine no yeah I'm open to it but I. know that you're open to it I would your. heart would explode. yeah I'm a doctor not good all right so. how about this this that that's your. ultimate kind of lineup would be Miley. Killers uh what did we. sayesha that's pretty that's a good. little lineup you think you could uh.

facilitate a festival if you could reach. these people's managers you could get. something together like you could be the. new firefest I loved firefest did you go. to firefest I have an actual wristband. from firefest an artist band so you went. to firefest you got fed the baloney. sandwiches and all that stuff no I was a. fan afterwards so I bought all the merch. merchandise that like were in crates in. the ocean and like I bought a artist. wristband and we do the go ear we come. up with a complete thing the goop Fest I.

think we should do goop we don't do a. [ __ ] Island where do we do it on huh. we don't do it on an island no no no. like a toll or um a peninsula we'll do. it in a peninsula or an is the Peninsula. hotel is nice what we're not going to do. it at the hotel yeah what hotel the P. pinula talking yeah yeah yeah a mountain. top they do they do one on a mountain. top we should Kanye already did that all. right so where we do the goop Fest where. does goop Fest take place. Antarctica Fredo's Factory no okay at. the chippy Factory at the chippy Factory. okay good so we'll get we'll get a hold.

of Fredo guys reach out to Fredo see if. we can do the goop Fest at presented by. freay follow up with Andreas with Carlos. Carlos Carlos is going to be doing that. so we're going to be at the fre delay. Factory where is what town is that in. it's in Perry plant Georgia yeah so if. you live anywhere near there just know. goop Fest is coming to you in the next. couple of years at the Fredo Perry plant. Factory now let's get images of what. this is going to look like cuz we just. want to map it out a little bit. no just go to images baby boy yeah let's. go to images baby boy let's see what. they look like let's see what there so.

this is beautiful that's where goop Fest. is going to be yeah it seems so hot. that's no different oh yeah Georgia is. hot look at that yeah but we'll do it in. the win win we'll do it in the fall oh. we can't do it in Georgia because they. allow guns we can't that's whoa wait. stop yeah that's they St wait wa wait. wait stop what's up with guns they allow. them in Georgian festivals I know but. you don't like them it's so scary guns. you press the button but and you kind of. get you've never held one trick I used a.

one of those things that cut wood ones. and I like shook hold on hold a cut wood. gun no I guess two different things uh. anything with power scares me like a. power tool you're yeah I used a table. slicer oh man table saw yeah I think my. I my home my my my teacher was like. let's get him away from this he's going. to cry so you don't like things that. cause harm I don't like things that. cause harm but also things that like. Shake is that shake yeah or vibrate what. does that mean what do you I mean it was. just you know you don't like any sort of.

vibration or. shaking yeah I I yeah it just you don't. have tools at home no I have a brother. who has he's a tool oh no he has tool he. has tools got it interesting wow so at. night when you go to sleep what time are. you going to bed I go to bed at like 8. and then I wake up at like 11:00 and. then I eat melatonin gummies and then I. go to sleep for another hour and then I. wake up again you have sleep apnea I is.

that when you like make weird noises. yeah sure it's when you can't really. breathe in your sleep no I'm good at. that like but I'm not good at like. staying asleep but it's potentially. serious though sleep apne what do you. think we could get you a machine can the. bad friends buy you a machine and maybe. get you through the night I want to get. you through the night we need you need. one of those no that's the Batman movie. one that's not Bane no you do know that. if you don't get any good sleep at all. it has it neurodegenerative properties. you could start losing your mind if you. don't get any sleep I get too excited to.

sleep sometimes but we got to get you to. sleep dude you're sleeping three hours a. night that's [ __ ] terrible that's all. you sleep is three hours some days it's. better like I just like there's so many. dogs on Tik Tok that need watching yeah. I agree with that yeah we need to take. you to Tulum over the summer yeah we. need to go on a beach no I did that no. you haven't not with us I did I went I I. spent 10 nights in Cancun and it felt. like I died and I was in purgatory I. know but my point is not with us that. Cancun's not [ __ ] Tulum I need. entertainment but I guess you're the no.

we're the Entertainer so when you go on. vacation you went solo I always go solo. it's not always like have you ever been. on vacation with with with family or. friends or anybody well last uh I don't. like yes uh yes my idea of a vacation is. I book like you know 9 to 12 nights in. in New York City and then I see like 16. to 18 shows oh you're one of those to a. show a night sometimes four solo yeah. you've seen Wicked 24 times and I.

stopped counting 24 times you seen wi. wow yeah Book of Mormon I love Book of. Mormon how many times have you seen it. I've seen it you know over 10 times but. also the best part about Book of Mormon. is watching the audience watch Book of. Mormon god dude I I got to tell have you. it's [ __ ] incredible first of all. Book of Mormon yes it's amazing second. second to this I saw Lion King you're. the most interesting [ __ ] I've. ever met in my entire life no yeah dude. I've have 24 times a wicked you can keep. going yeah but you don't understand.

that's W that's that's I mean you must. you're in love with it no it'ses you. sing you probably sing with the do you. sing along sing along I'm an emotional. person and like sometimes you could hear. the emotion in these women's voices and. they all have different riffs yeah so I. follow the riffs I see you are you love. perform you truly love performance yeah. that's why you're saying about musicians. that you don't like is because they put. on a bad show yeah yeah yeah yeah you. don't you don't have any patience if. they kind of mail it in quote unquote. you like a tight show I love a tight set.

list yes yeah a set list is like so. important right so what have you seen. the most on Broadway Wicked uh Pro I see. a lot a lot like some of my oh I was. really into the one that was out uh. about the Filipino dictator here lies. love how many times you see that that. one I I flew uh back Thanksgiving. weekend because it was closing so i i. before I buried my father I had to go. bury the show cuz and say goodbye to.

that as well right but the whole venue. is like a little nightclub you know you. take your candies and then you know you. you know and you have they don't let you. have drinks because you could spill yeah. but like the whole place is like a dance. floor and like different VIP sections. and the show happens all over it's about. ailda Marcos yeah we know it was so. awesome it's one of those shows where. you're sitting there and and there. actors on the. all around around yeah wow yeah it's. interactive if you well The Lion King I.

did well yeah there's a giraffe that. walked there a giraff I did that like a. wedding you scared the [ __ ] out of me. dude there's a yeah there was a company. called sleep no more do you know sleep. no more yeah so have you seen asleep no. more I've been there which one have you. seen which one they I've seen I love the. MRI cotel they put on that I see I'll. I'll see anything do you know what this. is no sleep no more is incredible it's a. theater company that basically puts on. live interactive you are a part no no. they're not all the same there's a bunch. of different stories you wear Mas you. wear the mask as a as a as a viewer and.

you literally walk around from room to. room while the play goes on in front of. you we went in London we went to see one. called the drowned man did you ever see. drowned man I didn't see the drown man. oh my [ __ ] god dude you literally. move through a factory in London it was. in in shortage I think it was New York. has it permanently New York has it. permanently now you go it's in New York. sleep no more has and you go floor to. floor Bob and you pick up the play in. pieces where it's happening like this. are people are viewing the play while. it's taking place they could move they. could leave the scene whenever they want. go to another scene you don't have to.

stay in one spot wow it's but how do you. follow along you can follow one actor. you can follow a group you but if I want. to see the whole movie what happens you. stay for an hour or two and you get you. start to you might get the end of the. [ __ ] show in the beginning every time. you go you'll see something different. pretty rarely because there is no. beginning and end quote unquote it's a. big loop so you don't really know what. part of the loop you're in the story is. continually uh uh uh growing and. changing so you could hypothetically. start in the middle and and the second. middle could be the end to you wow it's. closing it's they keep extending it but.

it's closing now March 31st I'm going to. see it the last Thursday of March I. highly recommend in La you mean no in. New York I'm planning my next New York. trip it's one of the greatest things I. think I've ever seen live I'm going to. watch it in my life and also can we go. together or yeah I would love to go with. you oh they separate people though and. funny they do if you if you they open an. elevator door they let someone walk out. then they close the elevator door so if. you if you and I go like I went with my. wife if they separated on purpose they. don't want they usually want you to be. alone and you can get touched and kissed. and hugged and pulled into room did you.

get touched uh I I've gone like a lot of. times and like you know sometimes they. just drag you and then sometimes they. just like do some weird stuff you know. I've Been Kissed yeah I got kissed on. your M well she kiss she moved my mask. and she like kissed my cheek and then. kissed right by my lips she must have. known did you get did you get hard huh a. little. hard you get a little hard did I did I. get a little hard Greg as long as it. doesn't last more than 24 hours it's. good. have you had a boner for 24 hours one. time no but if I do I know what to do.

what do you do what you do I think then. I have to go to the wake up or I'm going. to call 911 or go to sleep or I'm going. to call 911 that's right go to sleep or. I'm calling 911 wow so you've had a. house full of of unfortunate death and. you're you're you're now making your way. into the world as a single man who's. owning his own business so you you've. succeeded tremendously cu the show is. extremely successful. you get awesome Comics it's always sold. out so you've achieved a lot amongst.

heartbreak he pays the most he pays good. money for the yes he's Fair he's Fair. he's fair and true and just but you get. a nice chunk huh yeah that's how I have. to pay for Adele Adele wants needs a lot. of money so how much money do you think. you spend a month on shows is it all. your checks I'm smart with my money but. the thing is I after every horribly. funny I go and and I don't come back. back until the next horribly funny. usually where would you go to New York. like see my next thing I I was just in.

um Las Vegas for New Year's and um I saw. uh post Malone Christina Aguilera Demi. Lavado and bunch of bangers Kelly. Clarkson in one show no four different. shows and sometimes like you know you. just have to like leave and go to the. next one a little early but um after. this horribly funny I'm going to Las. Vegas again I'm not a big fan of his but. like you know at this point I'll see any. in with that within reason but I'm going. to see Bruno Mars uh Adele um there has.

to be other people Usher is in Vegas. have you seen Usher I haven't seen Usher. you have no no you don't BR Mar is a. great Entertainer yeah he he is a he is. a great Entertainer yeah um but but yeah. just uh so every dime you make goes to. live entertainment it goes right back. into entertainment and and I love. festivals I love VIP experiences at. festivals like treat me well in a. parking lot you know that's that's what. you know I don't even understand what. that mean cuz like all these festivals. are like basically in a parking lot and. they like charge thousands of dollars.

dude imagine him when he in Woodstock. when went. wrong I would be calling my mom I know. there's no water no water right you're. trapped people get trampled to death I. actually had friends call and ask if I. was at fire Festival like because really. yeah uh but no I wasn't like the lineup. wasn't good or I would have been okay. here you go you're at you're at firefest. okay you're trapped no it is kind of a. deserted island. what is your final meal going to be if. they say Greg we're going to have to we. don't we can't get you out of here we're.

going to give you your final meal what's. your final meal I thought about it I. like even if I knew I was going to die I. wouldn't go back to eating meat just. because out of being kind that's your. moral that's your but it's like also. it's not religious so it's not weird but. like Miley Cyrus is kind of has been a. like is kind of like a a religion she's. the [ __ ] best so tell me what your. final meal would be um probably all the. chips uh what what do we talk what kind. what flavors like what's your what's. your I love barbecue I love all the. Doritos families really yeah are we.

talking spicy nacho spicy spicy nacho. yeah and then the half the fun is you. know afterwards when you're getting it. off your fingers and then you fall. asleep so when you look your fingers is. your favorite so your last meal would. just be chips you like do you like the. Mexican ones where this say lemon lemon. uh you know what oh those what are they. called Takis I don't know Tak most of. them are stale like you know I try I. like them they're hard to find I don't. go grocery shopping outside like I don't. do anything you know I just get. everything delivered but like they.

rarely have them and they finally have. them and it was stale and then I got. them once in Las Vegas and it was stale. there too where do you stay in Las Vegas. I like to stay somewhere different every. night and like wait a minute wait a. minute if you're there for how many days. three four days last time I was supposed. to be there for seven nights but one of. the nights I decided to book a a. two-floor suite and then I forgot how. much money are you making and and then I. and I kind of fell down a spiral. staircase but it was glamorous like you.

know and then I was just sitting down. going looking up I'm like it's funny to. have a two-floor suite and not be able. to go upstairs sure wow so you change. hotels every night yeah why why why. would you do that to yourself I because. I'm a very uh a person who uh uh I guess. what's that word it's nomadic Restless. Restless uh I guess close but no it's. it's like when um. nostalgic and I have different memories. in different places and you know it's a. good way to like you know experience.

different things and it's also a way to. get yourself back into a different a. place you were in a different time in. your life. nostalgic yeah we are how many real. quick how many horribly funnies do you. do a month two only two a month yeah. only two shows two shows there were some. months where uh they were trying to get. me to double up you don't double up and. and I did some some months worked and. sometimes it doesn't but like a 10:30. p.m. show on a Monday right cuz I'm. trying to do the math you know okay I.

charge more than other promoters I know. but I'm just seeing how much you make so. I get yeah so that's yeah that's a lot. yeah yeah yeah but but yeah it goes It. goes back to the community just yeah. yeah yeah entertainment entertainment. that's great live entertainment yeah. what part of the city do you live in Los. Bell sorry Los B yes Los oh Los F Los I. really didn't know what you're were. saying oh lost bellies yeah yeah uh not. fies no that's no say say Los FES Los. Los FES I can't losis losis losis I went.

to Los bil elementary school but it's. always been Los wait you're from there I. well I that's I was bullied there from. you were bullied there yeah who bullied. you there everywhere in Armenian school. was the worst well let me tell you. something all these [ __ ] that. bullied you all these [ __ ] pieces of. [ __ ] that thought they were better than. you where are they and look at you now. successful business owner he must been. the cutest kid imaginable actually I. I'll show you I'll send you a picture. there's a picture of me like kind of.

dressed the same with a microphone like. kind of the same as I would do like you. know a few drinks in just singing um but. but I I'll send you a picture for fun so. you're telling me you went to um. Elementary School there then where was. high school John Marshall High School. John Marshall right on yeah and I was. not in the yearbook and I didn't go to. prom because AAL LaVine had concerts. wellow that's a good reason skip oh so. you've always been like this yeah wow. what's the first show you've ever seen. Greg so I had my first big show like was.

Wango Tango but my first solo artist was. Nelly Fado at the wilter theater wow the. bur in the spot cosic it was the there. were bubbles too there was or yeah yeah. there were bubbles you love Bubbles I. love I love I can tell I love like lots. of Lights light show big I don't like. EDF you take bubble baths no I don't. it's hard to get this in about in and. out of things oh you take showers then. yeah okay what do you mean it's hard to. get this in and out of things it it's a.

lot like you know like literally this. chair deserves an award. like bubbles are supposed legs if you. guys are I want to go you might be. sitting go Spa with you would you go to. a spa with me no Korean spa yes no why I. dude I'm not going to look at your dick. I know. what wait wait no won't look at your day. okay okay but can we go to Wiis Spa I. after horribly funny you and I will get.

in my car we go to Wiis Spa we go to the. S with my t-shirt on like no no you can. keep your t-shirt on you can keep. whatever no when we get yes he can he. can keep whatever he [ __ ] when we go. you got to get naked put your [ __ ] in. the [ __ ] locker and then you can put. it on he doesn't want to get naked he. sounds like the bullying just kidding. you think I'm being no not you not you. yeah it just you can look at mine okay I. guarantee you your yours is bigger than. Bobby's. hey let's what what what am I out of.

bounds we we can do a. comparison it's something to. consider good good job consider let's. that we'll consider going to the spot. but how then we go upstairs and we'll do. the [ __ ] clay room clay room clay. room yeah we lay in the clay right and. we'll have we'll be fully clothed and we. can reminisce don't you want to. reminisce with me I like reminiscing can. we do this like somewhere else. yeah yeah yeah we can do wherever you. want okay where's your favorite. restaurant to go to could we take you. out for a nice dinner I need to take you.

guys out to a nice dinner no no no where. would you like us to take you we can go. to hope hope have you been to hope I. haven't been to Hope but that's a Street. in downtown right yeah yeah I mean. there's a restaurant write that it's. called h o. IHOP I'm it's yeah right there're. healthy organic positive eating oh that. sounds like it's a vegetarian place and. I heard is great do you eat at. vegetarian restaurants no I wouldn't eat. at a vegan restaurant which is crazy. like even though like you know I don't.

have much options to begin with but um. you know uh yeah yeah we'll get you out. to somewhere special now seriously I. need to take you guys out no but if if. you guys are down February 5th it's uh. Eliza Margaret Cho Esther Rick Glassman. can't have two Margaret shows on One. show yeah it's too hard to. no no yeah one at a time that's what. they say Margaret dude Margaret the. other night she's the [ __ ] best I.

love her but she had her dog right and. she goes hold this when I go on stage. and so I'm literally you know what I. mean sitting there with the dog and it. it was trembling it's the sweetest dog I. know but it doesn't know me yeah but it. also was a little scared it it does Li. sick and she did extra time I felt like. so I was holding this dog and I didn't. want any cuz other people walked up to. me and went you want me to hold it I go. I can it's Mar dog she asked me what. time was it that's how I too I I protect. that dog with my life when she's on I. know me too do you hold it you know I I.

I I at first yeah but if it's not on. going anywhere I like you know I'm just. like you know more like playing what's. it name uh L Luc it's someone you could. say it Lucia Lu Luchia Luchia yeah that. one that's what Luchia I said it over. here oh you did it but then she but then. Luchia turned to me and kind of looked. at my face and it went like Mom like she. thought I. was and then I kissed her in the mouth.

the and then the dog thought I was. Margaret well the same face same face. yeah yeah yeah so okay so Greg um it's. been more than a pleasure to have you on. the show no thank you I mean it you're. would you do it again yeah we'd like to. have you back would you do it again I. think the fans are going to love you. you're such a lovable human being but. but next time you know this this was. your introduct introduction introduction. the next time we you won't talk so much. we'll just be a sidekick but with.

jesssie what Jesse does right so you. could just interject well sometimes. throw it to you so it wouldn't be as. much pressure okay right did just feel. like a lot of pressure I it was actually. pretty awesome it was awesome yeah yeah. but I was so nervous but did we make you. feel comfortable absolutely wonderful we. thought you did great yeah I think you. know the old me would have really like. you know been more yeah I'm glad we got. you so uh why don't you sign off to the. fans uh there in your camera go ahead. and tell them tell them tell them what.

tell say what you need to say oh no. um this one right here oh thank you for. being a bad. friend yeah yeah that's great yeah thank. you for being a bad friend that's great. do it. again thank you for being a bad friend. oh I think I did too many a it's fine f. thank you for being a. bad. I think he killed his family you think. he killed his family he said he doesn't. like I I didn't want to ask him because.

I didn't want to have to have a heart. attack but he said that he doesn't like. anyone breathing in his. house he has he likes to be alone in a. in a imagine he was holding his aunt and. he was like yeah hey. Auntie it's crazy yeah it's crazy died. in his arms in his arms that's awful. it's and you know what dude that's awful. what are you laughing at death. yeah Carlos you're a piece of [ __ ] man. bro Carlos are you still sober right now. yes I am how's it been going 10 days wow.

10 days clean right now yeah you look. great you look brigh eyed thank you I. appreciate that you look you look uh you. look prepared to take on this trip that. we're taking this week oh yeah yeah oh. you're going yeah I'm. going no and I'm not drinking I have no. plans to drink but you are coming yeah. it's going to be great you were super. nice to my friends the other night which. ones oh my the friends the females the. crew that you had yeah they were such. big fans and they were so nervous to. meet you well they were so nice yeah. yeah and then they were like you were so. kind well my pleasure always you're.

you're storming around the the castle of. The Comedy Store looking like a king. there you had a Herm of women just. friends yeah but it was a herum of of of. young women friends meanwhile the rest. of the people 30 something come on young. ladies I'm not saying it inappropriately. I'm saying they're young. ladies 307 I'll make it weird yeah why. did you make it weird I I'm not making. it weird I love that show. 30 not a one of them was 30 they were. all 27 so why are you making it worse by.

the way when Greg kept saying 27 yeah. what are we talking my guess 30. something he could be 60 I don't know I. have noidea I mean I I I think he's in. his late 30s mid-30s I think I think 35. 34 33 and I didn't want to also you know. cuz he you know and I I don't want to. push it right but it's like when I told. Andrew a couple of weeks ago that. Greg Craig Greg or GRE it's Greg Greg g. r a i g yeah Greg Greg Greg you told me.

his name was Craig I've been calling him. Craig no it's Greg Greg G yeah and you. no but he told. [Music]. us. wo. yeah.