Stabbed With Ramen | Ep 72 | Bad Friends

hey we here at bad friends uh want to. show some love to our bad friends family. uh jenna sunday who is an artist that. works with us. she's made so much so much incredible. stuff that you guys have seen vfx stuff. when the spiders crawl across the table. on. on the show and lightning and storms and. light changes and. she's a part of her family and we want. to help her and um. so can you help ian and the family with. ian's liver transplant yeah her brother. her brother. her brother are sick and we're trying to. promote her gofundme because we believe. here we're a family of bad friends we. hope you guys are a part of our family. and we hope that you guys help.

contribute to helping one of our family. members. uh get through an extremely tough time. it'd mean a lot to us. yeah so be a bad friend and go donate if. you can. donate right now donate now and we'll. put the link in the description uh so. everyone can uh. can click on it bob's donating right now. so thanks for being a bad friend and. donate. hey hey guys tomorrow night we're gonna. be at brea together. brea improv um 8 pm it's a great show. i've got. andrew on it and chad and jt from their. podcasts are going to do and then some.

other people might show up who knows. who knows we're going to be doing shows. and uh also. uh go to andrewsantino.com i'm going to. be in houston in a couple of weeks. uh houston's up first then i go to. madison then i go to nashville and. boston and i'm all over the place so go. to andrew santino.com houston show up. all right. and also tuesday night before the bray. improv jules is going to do a little. session jules will be doing a set so if. you want to see it. yes he's going to be like i said you. don't have a time make sure you come out. to see jules do her first stand-up. comedy show. yeah yeah you two are bad friends who.

are these two idiots. white dude i'm an asian dude you two. are disgusting well you two or something. we're bad. friends where's my red bull who are you. what do you mean that's the new andres i. told you i got rid of andres and i. wanted someone new. do you know do you know who what his. name is i'm going to call him. i'm going to call him what i want to. call him what's your name chongo. it's actually ignacio what do you say. ignacio.

look at me his attitude. who is this guy that's like nothing i. love him eggnogia. i got rid of that bag of trash. yeah and i got ignacio look at me. look at me yeah say eggna like eggnog go. egna. and i go evil.

thanks for coming yeah thanks for. filling in he's like made out of. half human half stone ignacio yeah his. face. it's just like he was very serious yeah. he looks like one of those shelter. shelter island the shelter island. statues. do you remember those is that what he. looks like yeah just. get off my island get off the island too. last night is he spanish yeah of course. this would he shut the [ __ ] up because.

he's talking way more talking more than. where are you from in in espana espana. espana. from sevilla oh bro sevilla is the most. beautiful place on earth great soccer. team it's spelled seville. right yes that's how white people say it. savile we went to seville on vacation. yeah that's how my people do it we're. tapas we okay check it we flew to. seville. yeah all right and then they have this. stuff called carpaccio. you ever had capacio it's nuts.

no. [Laughter]. shut the [ __ ] up what is ignacio's name. in american. i can tell i can tell you right now what. is it ted uh ted. yeah yeah good to see you ted well. thanks for filling in ted. no problem my pleasure what do you think. about uh our new andres. i prefer andrea whoa he's right there. the guy.

that's crazy why don't you like ignathio. he's more serious he is more serious. you know what he does for a living this. guy what you're not gonna believe this. can i guess sure he works in a mine. somewhere. did he talk to you before the show like. he looks like he works in a mine he used. to he's to run a mine. he he gathers iron ingots he does yeah. well no he was the foreman. okay bring up the ingots yeah he's a. he's a heart surgeon dude he used to be. a heart surgeon what kind of hearts.

like both arms he would do he served. he would do surgery on bovine hearts. cowheads they have open heart surgery. cows yeah they do. why high cholesterol high fat high. cholesterol their diet's insane look at. how fat they are well they're hamburgers. and a couple if you're a hamburger. you're going to get your give yourself. yeah you're having high cholesterol so. he's how many how many cows have you. performed. heart surgery on eggnothio i lost the. count you know you need to get that. valve you know. you need to get that valve he lost count. [Laughter].

what is this it's my brother so. you want to work for the scissor bros. podcast god. what makes you think you can cut it here. i'm tired of working with divas and. artists what is your greatest asset as. an employee. well i call myself the. quentin tarantino podcast. rescue you know forgotten talent.

oh my god i think i can make you a stars. did you have any issues with your last. employer if so please explain in detail. okay so i work with two two comedians. who are they uh bobby lee and andrew. santino. you might have heard of them oh yeah. and you know they're funny ish they. they just yell a lot you know they do. yell a lot we don't. we don't you guys have a more positive.

energy right like. i said we tried to do yeah. are you comfortable with male nudity. yes when can you start. they're trying to steal our people bob. the nerve first they steal our show.

[Laughter]. then they steal our employees. they're not going to pay him anything. they won't be able to afford them. there's no chance. and also um i'm very supportive of my. brother. so should we just give him give them. andres. they can have them all right you heard. it here first you can have him we fired. him you could. you get our leftovers he's gonna have. him you can have our leftovers. by the way uh we're losing at nathial. he's gotta go ignacio's gotta leave. because he's gotta get home to.

bye nothing bye nathie thanks for. filling in i guess. i guess no problem i miss andres. so much what if i just clapped and. andres was back in the chair i would. love it they just jump cut it no way i. never thought i would miss. andreas you didn't uh i miss him. he was there last night though what a. good night what a night we had last. night we had tonight my god my god what. a night. so bob and i went down to the bray. improv it was called bobby lee does new. material with friends and he didn't tell. him they were gonna do new material. that's what the name of the show was.

so we all show up and nobody knows we're. supposed to do new material and he. starts complaining. that some of the other comics that were. on the show were doing material that was. a material stuff that they'd done before. and then we all said when did you want. us to do new stuff and you said. that's what the show is but nobody knew. that yeah it's called bobby lee's [ __ ]. show if i if listen. you are a [ __ ] show so it could be just. called bobby. andy don't do it bob don't do it but. when you make me mad i gotta call you. andy what happened last night was bob. and i. did a show bob didn't tell anybody that.

you were supposed to do new material so. we all went out there well no no no no. andrew let me just ask you can i say. something by the way. can i finish go ahead bobby didn't want. to go last on his own show so we want to. go in the middle. which is crazy and yes it is you're. supposed to headline your own show no. i'm not. it's yes you are the whole reason why i. did in the first place is i'm not going. to raise my voice. is because i haven't been going up at. all. ever that was my second time up right.

and i wanted an. environment where i wasn't playing at. the store because i don't like playing. i just wanted to just kind of get my. chops back up i know right. so the whole point of it was i thought. maybe i create like an open mic. situation but that's more insulated. and i'll do it where i can control it at. the very improv. i thought a hundred people would show up. 50 people that's four. how many four sold out yeah last tuesday. and this tuesday. and i'm not gonna do i'm gonna then my. next last one is next tuesday i'm not. doing it anymore.

because it's like it's too much the why. because it's like i'm. stopping five minutes and then it's like. people are going. well i paid money you know i mean what. do you mean the whole show was. packed with comics it was people loved. it but want me to do more time. well well what happened last night was. bobby went up in the middle and did some. time and then i was supposed to close. the show or go last and then i said you. got to come up on stage with me and you. did. and we had a blast didn't you we just. didn't want 40 minutes i didn't want to. do it. yeah you did no in the beginning it. didn't but then i'm like oh i.

don't think he's gonna do stand up i. wasn't gonna right so you grabbed the. other mic. and then you and i did a 25 minute 34. minutes. 34 minute improv we did a bunch of. improv here let me show you why how this. uh. p pete's got it why you came up on stage. in the first place because the gentleman. in the front row. yelled out bobby let's see your wiener. or something and i said he's not going. to show you his wiener and then bobby oh. yeah watch this one said yes this is. crazy let's press play and find out. so they take you take them backstage.

[Applause]. oh he just wanted a picture you look. great i love it. insane he wanted a picture that bad.

[Music]. [Laughter]. that he got what he wanted finally very. sweet. very sweet now we continue to discuss so. this guy so this guy this this guy goes. um. let me see your penis obviously i'm. gonna just [ __ ] not everyone gets to. see it. that's right right special people he's a. celebrity he's rep by um apa. does he really have i'm with caa but my.

dick is right. yeah is he uh lit or a theatrical or. hit lit oh yeah he's a writer in three. scripts get out of town yeah. wow yeah so um this guy goes let me use. your dick i go. cause you don't want to get canceled. right and you're kind of thinking of the. modern times. so go how do i pull this i'll bring him. up on stage yeah. i'll bring him behind this curtain. privately privately he asked he asked. so there's no problemo there no and i. and you did it in the private location. right i pulled it out.

he doesn't look at it okay and he looks. at me right in the eyes and he goes. i don't want to see it can i get a photo. yeah all he wanted was a picture. yeah but it's like now i look like the. fool no you don't look like a fool. my penis is out andy but nobody saw it. robert nobody saw your penis including. the gentleman small no. well yeah i mean but he didn't see it. the funny thing is i had the camera. pointed at such a perfect angle. yeah i was like well we'll have to blur. it out and i catch no penis. yeah because i'm like usually because.

you're slope yeah because you're slow. slope you can't say a slope. your stomach the slope of your stomach. don't do that to me. oh snippy out are you gonna do that too. oh you son of a [ __ ]. don't just try to listen to my words and. find a chick in the armor don't just do. that. that's not fair no the slope of your. stomach covered up the breath of your. penis which was kind of nice. because now there's no nudity on the. camera right that's great i have a. self-editing system on my body. your stomach is photoshopped yeah yeah. but that guy had a great time and he. loved it but then. one of my favorite things that happened.

last night was i had seen. brea is a part of southern california. where there's uh. a lot of latino latinet latinx yeah. latinx. see how we had a lot of brown people. which are my favorites but no black. people and i said bob there's no black. fans here you don't have black fans and. there was two men in the front row yeah. and they were both uh black fans of. who's. yours mine yes two black ice bubbles. because one of them was during it's. summer one of them he's wearing a thick. ass cosby sweater he didn't speak. english. but with the other but you know what i. think he wore the cosby sweater because.

because of what happened today guess who. got released i know congratulations bob. bill cosby got out that's what bobby. always wanted like if i i'm. cuz i'm doing a show tonight so where at. the store. okay so i imagine like um if by chance. bill cosby wants to do a guest spot and. i have to bring him up yeah i'd have to. say. our next comic ladies cover your drinks. [Laughter]. how can this guy get out look at there. he brought that out he got out. he got free do you know who bill cosby.

is rudy no that's crazy i love that i. love that about you. well just by looking at him who do you. think this guy is. who do you think he is and what was he. what do you think he meant to us do you. know anything about him. an actor he was an actor he's an actor. do you know any films that he might have. been in. war or more movies he wasn't a bunch of. war movies. do you know what wars what's. specifically what war. world war ii that's right he was in. [ __ ] uh. yeah he was a he was a uh he was an. actor and an actor yeah. um did you see what he said when he was.

walking by cameras. no he goes hey hey hey. shut up i swear to god google that. [ __ ] he does a fantastic fed albert. wow yeah yeah so bill cosby was a. stand-up comedian. okay just i want to just put to do this. in the 80s rudy he was big. there was no one bigger i mean he was. like. think of right now who do you think the. biggest star is right now. biggest star yeah leonardo.

okay leonardo dicaprio for television he. was that. that that big there we go oh let me hear. it. [Music]. [Laughter]. because he used to do in the 70s our. cartoon. called fat and his catchphrase was.

hey hey hey and that's he just got out. of prison. that's the first he got a prison for. rape and that's what he did that's the. first thing. out of his mouth what a good [ __ ]. real piece of [ __ ] no he's a piece of. [ __ ] he's a piece of [ __ ] he's a piece. of [ __ ]. yeah you get out of prison for rape and. you you make me if i got released from. prison. right and immediately the first thing. [Laughter]. that's insane what he did was he put uh. he put stuff in women's drinks and then.

they would go to sleep and he would. assault them and he just got out of. prison after serving two years. only two years that's all you need if. you're bill cosby you get two years and. then you're good to go. and you're allowed to walk out and go. hey hey yeah and also when he was in. prison. what made me laugh was which is not a. funny situation but um. some inmate did you hear about this. threw a chicken patty his face. that's very funny and it hit him like. i mean as you can imagine it's sticky. and it just kind of slides off his face.

no wait i thought he was separated from. general population because of. his uh health and age and all that stuff. i just assume that they put them inside. i think at lunch. he can join oh you can sit with me maybe. kids i don't know but um. i can't believe what i got first is. camille. his wife what about her oh because she. was like uh it's all a lie. first of all she stood by him she's just. um they live in. two separate houses i think what do you. but i guess the the question would be. what did america want her to do condemn.

him and then leave him. well it's like i'm asking i'm just. asking i will just let you know if i. leave. a cigarette butt in the backyard. underneath the rock she's moving out. kalila knows about it right. right right how the [ __ ] does camille. not know that he's right you're saying. she's in in on it i just i just. can't you know can't imagine it imagine. her not knowing i mean. if it was one or two that's one thing. right but. it's like 1050 or whatever 60. yeah.

whatever it is. right it's crazy yeah well i mean she. did she was kind of adamant about saying. it wasn't real and she was like this is. all lies and all for. attention and fame and you're like man. is she so delusion that she might. actually believe that. yeah or the best she's just holding. trying to hold it down for she's holding. down the forbes she's. because she's making i mean obviously. he's a multi-millionaire yeah. at this point she could have all that. money it's not about money for her i. think it's about. legacy she just doesn't want it she. doesn't want to believe it's real. maybe doesn't want to believe it's real. yeah but my favorite.

interview was when they were i guess. at an art museum opening or whatever and. then they did. an interview and i guess his publicist. cleared it with. you know the journalist saying no no no. weird questions okay. no weird questions yeah and then the the. guy brings it up. and then there's that weird awkward. exchange between. camille cosby and the journalist have. you seen that no can we see that so good. thank you okay here it is thank you now. can i get.

something from you what's that that none. of that will be shown. i. i can't promise that myself but you. didn't say anything. i know i didn't say anything but i. i'm asking your integrity that since i. didn't want to say anything. it's interesting to talk about integrity. if i don't want to say anything of what. value will it have. i don't think it will ma'am but then he. starts pulling weight.

he starts he starts telling people hey. his publicist. can you call you know i mean this person. oh can you call me watch. this is so shady if you will just tell. your boss the reason why. we didn't say that up front was because. we thought. that ap had the integrity. he says integrity twice to not. ask this guy's a rapist and he's talking. about integrity one other point on that. and i think you need to get on the phone.

with his. i will person immediately okay. okay thank you insane yeah yeah. that's insane yeah so then he calls. you don't have the integrity yeah. i like the nerve to talk about integrity. to journalists who's like what's up with. all these crazy allegations. but it's not only that it's just that. his boss is like he's an. employee yeah right his boss is like you. got to ask the question it's all over.

well what is he going to do it's not. like it's inappropriate it's a museum. you know. yeah it's like it's not like what car do. you drive it's like yeah it's not like. you prefer chicken or beef this is. totally legit. yeah he's i've never seen that's insane. i look at camille though. oh dude well yeah there's what's going. on. this is. [Music]. i love better help so much andrew during. the pandemic i. i i um involved myself with their.

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you know what's a great air bring this. up i don't know why this made me think. of that but bring up uh. mike tyson interview it's my favorite. one. where where's canada when he's like. you're a goddamn piece of [ __ ] yeah yeah. that's my favorite one that's my because. mike tyson interview and then he's. it was a slow like a slow burn in his. mind. what what what what would he say mike. tyson interview canadian. canadian that well that's it right there. right there that's it right that's it. right there this is so great. pull that yeah he's not you're not. supposed to swear on television he.

cannot or. threaten to kill someone in the. journal's life. right but then don't ask mike tyson this. is one of the strongest men. yeah this is it yeah now some of your. critics would say you know there's a. race. for mayor we know you're a convicted. rapist this could hurt his campaign how. would you respond to that. okay um i don't know who said that you. know when i heard say that. you know what i mean and i don't have no. comment to that. you know because it's negative and. you're being negative.

and i i i met the mayor. right and now they can do about it we. actually had a really good time. we we we talked about george travallo. here look at him look at him staring at. him. staring at those were the thoughts it's. brewing look at it oh my god he wants to. kill him. life eyes so interesting when you come. across like tonight that but you're. really a piece of [ __ ]. hey come on come on [ __ ] you that was a. piece of [ __ ] you know. we're doing we're doing live tv yeah i. don't care what you gonna do about it. all right you got it. we are a lot of people.

[Laughter]. um you know it speaks for itself. everyone saw the show. all right it said broadway production it. went to vegas. he's turning into the hulk yeah he wants. to just rip this yeah. he's so angry for you to do something. like this is it more. nervous for you to box how does it go.

it's more nerve-wracking here's talking. to a rap piece of [ __ ] like. [Laughter]. all right we're gonna we're gonna we're. gonna wrap up this interview. thank you thank you for coming [ __ ] you. it's the best [ __ ] you that's one of the. do you know who that you know mike tyson. is kind of yeah. he was one of the greatest boxers of all. time but it's crazy because that guy. you can feel him being like let me just. say this he. not only the greatest boxer of all time.

he was. so few he was a one punch he was a. knockout. yeah monster he would he would like he. would annihilate. time travel yeah people hit and it's. like tomorrow. yeah i mean he was so scary. he was the biggest guy now put in the. contact of this journalist. you mean said you're a convicted rapist. cause. he was yeah he was yeah but i'm not.

gonna say i'm not gonna sit in the couch. and say that to him because i don't want. to kill him. i know him you know tyson yeah i know. tyson. well yeah and it's like why would you. why would you bring it up to him. i don't know i think even me saying that. he was a convicted one just now. i might want to edit that out i'm scared. now yeah i'd be scared if i was yeah i'm. like. my nose is sweating yeah imagine being a. crossroad man. it just say it to me. so mikey some of the critics are saying.

it's a little interesting that you would. meet with the mayor rob ford because. you are a convicted rapist uh do you. have anything to say about that. you could say that really well that's. what he did that's exactly what he said. about. that's exactly what he said would you be. able to do that though no no my oh my. god no. yeah this is what i would have said if i. was that's what i wanted okay give it to. me they give it to me and i go and you. it's on the question yeah i got the card. now mike uh you met with us the the. mayor rob ford now a lot of your critics. are saying that. uh a lot of the critics are out there. saying that you.

that it's interesting for the mayor to. meet with you considering the fact that. you. are a chef. you're a chef is that right you're a. chef i'm not. that's cook's most oh you cooked up. before but you're also somebody. you're are you a rapper that says you're. a rapper you've been rapping. all right we'll be we're. yeah i can't i this that interview gave. me the chili yeah i can't believe. uh that cosby i've never seen anything. seriously dude because i've been asked.

to do his podcast. whenever i run into i photos with him on. instagram um. he's super nice to me i'm so even just. this what i just did here scares you we. do can we cut it out he's a cop but he. loves comedy he gets. i'm gonna just say mike i'm on your side. i mean i'm not though i don't know. let's i can't i'm a meltdown what are. you trying to say. nothing he's a change reform man he's a. change guy he's. one of the night like i can do that yeah. literally one of the nicest guys i've. ever met no he's ch he's he's had a lot. of struggles over the course of his life.

and he's changed as. yeah as the the man he's become a uh i'm. not just letting you know. one punch from him even now how much. would you would it be to take a punch. from mike for real. right now well because i got his prime. right now how much money. would do would i want to receive there's. no money because i would die. no you could take one i don't think so. do bare-handed no. with a glove for sure bare hands on the. head yeah in the face. one glove in the face no there's no way. i would have. i would have something wrong 50. fifty.

what. fifty fifty million fifty bucks this is. no way how about you what about you. probably ten million. one punch yeah because can i come you. you will when. you hit me trust me yeah yeah the moment. he punches me. yeah i would you know what 10 minutes 10. million because that's enough to leave. my favorite. ring with mike tyson no for 50 million. okay. and i was on your corner oh my god the. funniest coach. mike no no you're not boxing you're not.

boxing you're just gonna get. you're just gonna take a punch from him. right well i'm just gonna run as fast as. i can. oh so you're saying you want to do a. round no if i took a punch it'd be 10. million. to fight would be i would never want to. do the whole round. yeah i mean 100 million nothing as a as. your corner map just being like. i'm sorry the whole time you're just. saying i'm sorry yeah yeah the moment we. touch gloves yeah yeah. sorry dude um. i'll take care of things yeah you'll. have to yeah yeah you won't have a. choice. eric will fill in because you would.

definitely. he's my cut man yeah yeah come on man by. the way. yeah i honestly think that we you. wouldn't be able to do bad friends for a. year. at least yeah yeah and then the moment i. get knocked out all you hear is hey hey. and cosby's in the audience yeah let me. ask you this if you were in prison with. cosby. yeah what are your night talks like. oh i'm sharing a cell i'm a seller. you're a cellmate and you're you it's a. bunk bed. you know i mean he probably gets top. bunk oh so scary that he gets on top. i don't want him bottom bunk well you.

don't why oh you're right i can feel him. climbing up then. if i could feel him come down he would. swing down so fast oh yeah right on top. of you you'd never see it right okay i. want top he would jump right on you. right so you're laying there. and it's like can you sleep. i think that's what i would ask for are. you are you awake. he's like just sitting here with my. thoughts. yeah and then what would i ask like what. was the cosby show like was it fun. no what i would do is like no i would be.

honest i would be honest. yeah i think i'm i mean he's a rapist. but i'm here with cosby. i have a compliment so i'm gonna be like. you'd compliment him. you know in terms of comedy yeah you did. a lot for us. for and then i'd be like uh bill cosby. himself. like i remember going to camp this. really happened i was in camp. and my cousin had bill cosby himself on. just you know his record cassette oh the. cassette though right in the car.

and i remember the [ __ ] dental the. dentist bit. oh my god yeah so classic yeah and i. remember as a kid. just crying laughing yeah it was so good. i mean the album was incredible it's an. incredible album. yeah also here's what i love about just. as a stand-up. in that specific um you like him as a. guy more than a stand-up though. no i think that his that that special. also shows. pacing his timing was great no it's also. there's like gaps of him just sitting. there and contemplating.

and taking his time well that's what. that was kind of it's a cool. like control of the room yeah and. confidence. he was just he was he was um he was very. influential but. animal burst all it took was hannibal. like at a show to just be like. y'all don't even know the bill cosby or. rapist and then it would just blew. everything up. it blew everything up it was wild that. all it took was a stand-up comedian to. blow up another stand-up comedian. that had been that i that people had. talked about him. roofing people for years it's also there.

was like already. women out there accusing him of roofing. that roofing and all that stuff and then. just one comic does that. what an incredible what a crazy what a. crazy rollercoaster and now he's out. whatever crazy 10 years though if he. showed up to the store tonight. you're on tonight yeah he shows up yeah. are you gonna stay and do the show with. him well if i had to bring him up i. would do what like what. martin lawrence does if he has to bring. me up he just leaves he'll leave yeah he. doesn't even say your name yeah so like. the comic has to bring all the other.

comics on. what martin lawrence will do is just. walk off stage yeah and then you just. walk on stage. like it's so uncomfortable no one knows. you're going up so you just kind of. walk up on stage hey i'm not one. more time for martin it's so insane it's. so insane i don't know why and he knows. that he's doing that. yeah he's been there enough where he's. seen other people bring other people up. also can i say this about him i hate. that is. i used to open from for martin lawrence. well what happened was at the store. where he used to do these like.

week these um main room shows like on a. wednesday thursday. and he'd just be like somebody would. come up to me and go. martin wants you to do open. oh martin want you to open the show yeah. so i would go up before him. but i was beating the green room and he. wouldn't look at me. and every question that i have was. through his road manager. shut up yeah so i go can you add he's. right here. i go can you ask martin how do how he. wants me to bring him up did you try to.

talk to him at one point and he just. every time i talk to him it's almost as. if i'm not there. like i'm like you know an aboriginal. like i'm not there. right so it's like and then he'll go and. then. mike will tell you know martin yeah what. should he say. tell him to say you know what i mean. i'm right here tell him to say this and. then he would tell me if they would. he didn't even look at you no so it. would be like i would get the same. information twice. right because i had to get it through. he's like tell him to do 15 minutes he's.

like. i'd like you to do 15 minutes and then. this is another reason why i know. were you cool with him i love him i mean. he's nice no but i mean like would you. go say hi to him if you saw him. he wouldn't know who i was he wouldn't. see me. but would still be fun to go say hi to. him yeah hey martin but here's. how i knew uh and then he would ask his. friend who the [ __ ] is that and he goes. who the [ __ ] are you where where i am in. the black community in terms of um. where i stand super low. i've asked the documentary you were very. low but this is how i knew. yeah so one time when i was doing game.

on did i tell you the story no i was. with keegan. and keegan and i were talking because i. you know i was on math tv with keegan. for years. yeah and then he sees cedric the. entertainer. and he goes yo yo cedric he goes come on. let's go say hi so i run with keegan oh. yeah right. then they hug do a kiss right i go. what's up man i say it he doesn't even. look at me. yeah you don't exist yeah and he's just. talking to keegan.

and i think i said one more like like 45. seconds later i go maybe he didn't hear. me. they're talking what's up. nothing nothing so i just kind of walked. away yeah he doesn't want you there it. was. so pitiful that's a black thing but why. because a little asian came running up. he doesn't want to pay anything. i know but it's like he's like if i was. seeing. if i saw john cho right and some little. black kid. you know i mean like i know john cho. right yeah and i'm with this. you know let's say i'm with uh jamar.

neighbors. littler oh you mean a little physical oh. doc willis so. there was a there was used to be a. parking guy lockeye and a very funny. standoff yeah it's hilarious. doc willis yeah i run up with dr c john. cho. if doc said what's up man john would. definitely look at him go what's up. little guy you go hey what's up hey. what's up john joel. yeah yeah yeah that's what doctors yeah. hey what's up john troll there's doc. willis right there doc williams we love. him he's so cute why do you say little. you don't say little you're the same. height. i know but for black guy that's not good.

right you're yeah for black-eyed shorts. yeah right for an asian girl when i shot. the movie in. in hungary and i worked because i don't. mean kevin. i'm taller you're taller than kevin yeah. are you really 100. by how much by like this much by like. two inches. he's he could kill me because he's boss. he's huge yeah yeah. but he's i'm this much taller and so i'd. be like so. what's the first time so kevin what's up. so you want to rehearse real quick it. was great. it was great did you make a comment. about how you're taller than him how.

tall is kevin hart. between five two and five four that's so. funny it says between. between like his weight like it. fluctuates like his weight we did mine. here remember we did the [ __ ]. measurement five three is what we. learned. we did the height we did the thing that. one five four right there's five three. really rudy what was that so um. right so he's five two it says between. five two and five four. he's not by four it seems like he might. fluctuate there's i bro. i saw him like 30 times there. and every time i had the thought.

i'd call her maybe he's have maybe as he. was having a bad height day. sometimes you have good height there's. maybe you know when you know you're. taller you are. yeah i'm taller people are blown away at. how much taller i am than you people. think they see us together at this desk. they think we're the same size. i know and then they say and then we put. up a photo and they're like holy [ __ ]. it's like a. gigantic size difference are we gonna. keep doing live shows yeah we're going. to do tuesday. right yeah we'll we'll do tuesday at. down at brea yeah i'll go i'll. we'll go down but but but i got to say. we have to make a real tour out of this. because we're doing chosen cancun.

you know by the way last night we told. people it was cabo uh. like three people were like where are. you how do we go to cabo in cowboy. okay but um you what i realized last. night was that if you and i. say if we went on tour we did. 30-minute sets yeah each and then. and then did time together time together. then. great show i know we should do jewels. can come up and open i would i cannot. wait. oh can you come on tuesday to not open. yes yes yes yes no to hang.

yeah but also you have to introduce us. no yeah yeah. yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah did you do. it you have to jules. all you have to do is this is show up. it's not hard. no we're not asking you to write jokes. or to perform. you're just going to walk up in front of. the audience just shut the [ __ ] up. that's it i just listened that's it all. right and you're going to. go hi everybody can you say that. do it now hi everybody no it's a room. full of people. this is not a library just just vocalize.

hey everybody hi. everybody great that's good hey jules. people will cheer oh yeah as you will. you cheer right oh yeah are you guys. ready for the um. you know you said i just have to. introduce you. that is what he's doing what i'm doing. you get to say hi by everybody just walk. off stage. no i'm just saying here's to the ball. andrew. yeah yeah but with enthusiasm it's gonna. sound like you like it.

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so easy. um and hello fresh is 28 cheaper than. shopping at your local grocery store. they did the stats and 72 cheaper than a. restaurant meal without sacrificing the. quality and that was a zagat survey. zagat you gotta trust they rank they. rank restaurants. um so we've both done it i love it i i. like it because uh it gives me the power. to not be as dumb as i am. they tell you how to cook and you can do. it and actually look like you know what. you're doing in the kitchen so. go to hellofresh.com badfriends14. and use code badfriends14 for up to 14.

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something that happened the other day. with her so we are in the [ __ ]. driveway and our neighbors are cool guys. yeah right young guys and they're they. play music they're in a band yeah and. they're young they're like 20 21 yeah. her age okay. and they're like um hey guys we're doing. a. like a party next door you guys are. welcome to come by great music. beers have fun a bunch of young people. okay. next door to my house so we meet kalylah. and jules were. ready to go to go get ramen or you get.

something to eat. and we looked at jules and we go. i think you should go now send her by. herself you guys don't want to go. yeah okay because they're young people. we know them it's safe. and she's like no no and i'm like yeah i. think because she's been trapped in the. house for a year. she's gonna hang out with anybody her. own why didn't you want to go over. i wanted to but i'm shy right so then. you live next time i know so we i get in. the car and that. it's two houses down i just we just kind.

of stop her from the house. and we look up there's lights having. people having beers and having a good. time right. and we just go get out you oh you kicked. her out of the car yeah. did you go and then so this is she goes. okay so just go up the stairs. here we go yeah so we drop her off we do. a u-turn later. come back up to see if she went she's. not there anymore she went home. she went home i knew you went home why. did you do that. i went up and then i tried to knock but. you don't.

knock at a [ __ ] party you just walk. in i didn't know. we got to teach this kid everything yeah. yeah all you have to do is show up if. it's an open door like that if it's a. party it just means come on in. say hi and you just walk up to someone. you knew the guys right didn't you know. him. no you never met those guys but you knew. there are neighbors and they're young. and stuff and there was a bunch of. people up there are they famous kids. i don't know who they are probably you. two people but then we're youtube people. that's right and we and we um. so clyde and i went to eat we came back.

and she was out and she's got home. so what you know what we did beat the. [ __ ] out of her. we took her there oh you really walked. her over there yeah. really yeah and we go go up there and. she went up there and this is what she. does this is so pitiful. she goes up there the music's play she. puts on her video camera. and she just does that like a you know. what i mean like i'm around like a. panoramic. video thing right and then she pushes. his paws she runs back downstairs just. to prove that she went. did you have anything to drink they gave. me.

something oh my god was bill cosby there. hey hey jules drink this wait a minute. they gave you a drink you drank it. booze i don't know but it tasted like. alcohol. and then did you enjoy the drink it was. fine how long did you stay. 20 minutes that's not that's not even. real. that's that's what we're saying that's. why when we go to cancun yeah. yeah you when you're 21 next year you. can only have to be 18 to drink in. mexico oh that's right yeah. right so you can drink it you can drink.

and party there's going to be. it's cancun so it's going to be a lot of. young people i mean i think that's the. whole place i don't know why we're going. yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah they're. going to be way young people and then. there's going to be wheelchairs for us. there's going to be parties you're. drinking you're doing drugs because just. for laughs. are going to have those night parties. that you have a big time big time at the. bars yeah so you're going to be partying. with. the best comics on planet earth mm-hmm. your buddy tom segura is going to be. there. tommy's going to be there anthony. jesselnick jackson next going to be. there. i don't even know i'd have to look up.

the yeah yeah but a lot of big people a. lot a lot of big names and you're going. to be able to drink there will you want. to party there. yeah jeffrey jeffrey epstein he'll be. there jeffrey epstein will he'll be. there i think so. wait so here you go so far for the just. for laughs lineup that we're going to do. in cancun. uh it is jim jeffries tom segura nikki. glazer stevo nicole buyer jay pharaoh. girls got to eat with podcast donnell. rawlings ron funches. uh goddamn comedy jam deborah giovanni. and of course. yours truly the bad friend's crew that's.

a lot of good people. that you can party with you excited yeah. couldn't care less all right let me show. you something this i got sent this. this is wild jimin. hey guys i'm finally korean i've. transitioned. i'm so sorry i'm doing this completed my. look i'm finally korean guys i have the. eyes. just had a brow lift as well um so i'm. so happy. finally i've been trapped in the wrong. body for eight years.

and that's the worst feeling in the. world when you're trapped and you don't. feel like you can be yourself but. finally i'm korean i can be myself. yep and i'm so so happy okay. okay okay okay okay okay okay okay. okay we here at bad friends are very. promotional for everyone. being who they want to be right look at. me right right we're being serious. yeah i don't care if you were born. a race or a gender and you want to um. switch it up we are happy for you. whatever you want to do yeah that being.

said yeah. why would you want to be korean of all. the fun ones. it could have been japanese is way more. fun. or chinese i mean they're taking over. the world these guys god it's so it's so. crazy. [Laughter]. it's so crazy that you say this because. um. why would you want to be korean if i was. going to change my race. i wouldn't go to korean. japanese at least at first i mean.

they're the best. they really aren't the japanese add up. they're not the best. the japanese are the best they're good. they're good. who's better japanese are korean. japanese japanese. really she loves anime yeah you're. asking i wonder how many white people. want to be filipino. [Laughter]. i wonder i would be filipino. you okay so if you had a choice between. korean korean and filipino i'd be. filipino. why because the color of their skin is.

beautiful. look at that brown like it's brown it's. like and yours is like uh. it's beautiful it's not it's angelic. it's. it's urine it's coming it's not. urinating. in nature look at how gorgeous their. skin tone is it's that it's beautiful. brown skin. it's beautiful um i would easily be. filipino over korea for sure. let's ask the other two white dorks in. here what about you guys whites what do. you want to be.

uh here let's p go first yeah yeah no. so scared so scared like it's it's such. a pus i would choose korean i like their. movies. what korean movies do you love pete oh. my god. the uh old boy uh the uh uh trilogy the. uh. sympathy uh yeah wow he does know. um no sympathy for uh. uh mr vengeance and lady vengeance lady. vengeance yeah wow. yeah yeah peter are you married to a. korean woman. uh no to a spanish woman oh yeah oh.

george you're married to korean right. yeah okay uh i go korean all the way. there we go there we go what a [ __ ]. george you're such a [ __ ] have your own. stance [ __ ]. but here's the thing you know growing up. i knew. like secretly a lot of koreans growing. up. wanting to be secretly white i know i. love it say it again. what does anyone say hello means hello. yeah what's aseo. hello no i know it means.

from one of the best shows on television. or well that was i mean. was what what's what's probably one of. the greatest comedies ever assembled on. television. adventure time no it's it's. adventure time has to be wonderful jason. bateman was he an adventure time. what's what's the best show that jason. bateman's ever done he was in a uh i. know. it was on um i did the show so did i.

and i forgot it you go to jail and when. you get. what do you when you get you go to jail. when you get purgatory. yeah chained chained yeah chained in. purgatory when you get. no it's another just let me guess don't. don't please i'm giving you the. easiest hint no you're not give me. another one a police officer puts. handcuffs on someone they call they they. just got what. arrested for development arrested for. development. for development arrested development. arrested development yeah uh annyeong. they called him on young they didn't. understand that. he was saying anyone saying hello they.

thought his name was did you do the the. new. one or the old one sadly i did the a new. one because i did a new one as well oh. you did yeah. i thought you're gonna mock me no i did. a new one but i actually enjoyed it. bateman was really cool. i wasn't on with bateman oh really no i. played a. female gang member. in a prison that's funny and then i try. to shank. somebody with a noodle i did a ramen. shank. god that's funny right and i but then. raw ramen. raw ramen but then they poured hot water. on it and it dissolved.

that's funny it was me where there is it. there's bobby right there yeah right the. first the first one the very first one. yeah yeah put the first one. the first one the very first one that. one yeah there i am. so that's amy hill she's on magnum pi. you look hot thank you. i like her on the right amy hill yeah. she's great she was great in um. uh next friday oh she weighed that she. was on that friday yeah she's like. what's up [ __ ] yeah she was funny.

yeah dude she's so amy. um is a good friend of mine i love her. so much before we jump let's go back to. oil london. i have to go back to this this this. person because it's a they correct. correct all right so they came out yeah. as korean. yeah and this transition's been going on. for quite a while what i was saying is. is that i never thought in my mind. because. you know when i went to korean church. the korean kids. you know secretly we all wanted to be. white of course you did yeah but then. it's like. but then as you get older oh god.

there we go. because i identify as korean that's just. my culture that's my home country. that's exactly how i look now um and i. also identify as jimmy and that's my. career name but uh. not only that i just i know it's a. little bit confusing for some people. nobody's ever come out as jimin or. korean but um. this is something that you guys know if. you've followed my journey for the last. eight years i've really struggled with. identity issues.

he better have shaved his penis down oh. he had to have a little snip snap he he. needs a snip snap they're like now. because he will stay because he if he. has like you know a thick dick a thick. white dick. it's not going to work for me yeah you. want to be korean chop it off. yeah yeah that's the final step yeah. this is so interesting to me because i. can't i can see both sides of this. argument he's got to darken the dick too. you got to tan it up well he's got to. get her purple way too white too because. korean penises have purple shading in it. do they really.

yeah like the sack is very dark well. your sack is very dark no our sack. yours as a people i think i've seen. other google are korean sacks always. dark. are korean balls nut sacks always dark. cause yours is oddly dark. no it's they're all i'm not an anomaly. no i think you are if i had if there was. a dark sac competition in korea i. wouldn't win it. you get close i would take third third. or fourth that would be you could be on. the podium you'd. place i would probably yeah do asians. have small testicles south korean nut. rage. family has a darker history of what does.

that say yeah yeah why is nut sex skin. darker on. than the rest of me a korean man's. plight that's well okay. you got dark sax bud yeah why do you. think that is. i don't know so what do we think about. this people are people. are you mad about white people. transitioning into korean i like it. you like it yeah it's proud but he's not. but do you but is it okay. they weren't born korean just because. you you grew up in korea but. do you think it's okay to change your. structure in your face no it's like. he said how it is the rules have changed.

you are who you say you are. okay what are you i'm korean okay me too. okay i am korean i accept it. and you know yeah you know what as a. korean yeah i i hate koreans. they make me sick they're the worst. people that have ever they're disgusting. why because i'm korean i can say that. wow see since you're korean now. right since you're korean now right just. you could just. freely say of course i can yeah yeah. as a korean see it as a korean i can say.

it yeah yeah i can say it yeah yeah do. it. korean i i can yeah i don't need but you. won't. i don't need to okay you don't need to. because i think that's racial because. you're not korean yes i am yeah. i am korean yeah i am who i say i am uh. we've got a great game now we're gonna. have uh. i don't wanna oscar winning uh actors. and you guys can guess what. uh what movie they were actually won. their oscar for oh. does everyone get a shot i think that's. what should we do so.

who is that rudy who is that rude. i don't know can i guess like what movie. sure. sure the godfather yep he wasn't the. godfather. he is yeah and that was crazy that she. knows that. how do you know that i don't know what. was his character's name. oh if how about this if you know his. [ __ ] character's name. okay give me a hint no no because i'll.

give you a hundred grand. hints 100 thousand dollars holy [ __ ]. rudy. [ __ ] 100 grand were you really over 100. grand. yeah she's not gonna be able to get it. there's no way maybe she will because. godfather was a long shirt. cause she would have to know the. family's name in the godfather she. doesn't know that. maybe she does i don't know yeah yeah. look at your phone. don't look at your phone his name was uh. in the godfather name was michael. corleone oh yeah guest michael.

yeah yeah rudy gets a point if you can. guess the actor. name and you guys get a point if you can. guess the uh oscar that. uh that they that they won oh which. movie i i i think i can give it shot but. go ahead what's his name. give me a hint. it's you know it breaks my heart because. he's literally. one of the greatest actors that's ever. lived that's ever. lived ever lived yeah. the fact that you don't know who ray.

liotta is is just so annoying to me. yeah yeah it's ray liotta. incredible okay so what movie did he win. oscar for what movie do you want to ask. before do you know his name for real. al pacino al pacino um what movie. dog day afternoon i got a scent of a. woman. yes i get a point yes i love this stuff. one for me. don't you think dog day afternoon was a. better movie attica. that was a great movie one of the great. and i like the documentary about the. the real the real guy yeah did you see.

that one you know how strange it just. real quick to. talking about dog day afternoon and how. powerful the movie was here's a guy. who has it's like what a great story of. an emotional breakdown of someone who's. trying to yeah to rob and then is. for those that don't know you're a. little late to the game then comes out. it's about coming out his sexuality. coming out yeah. i mean i mean the movie is so good. [ __ ] deep and weird and good and like. unexpected yeah if you've never seen dog. afternoon you don't know what's his name.

can i guess just the movie he was in. he's been in a lot of movies so many. films but he's in the silence of the. lamb. yeah yes that's true what's his name. [Laughter]. he was the doctor in the silence of them. yeah. his cannibal doctor yeah yeah yeah but. still a doctor nonetheless anthony. hopkins. what did he win an oscar for bob that's. a hard one. that's a heart it's what two movies oh.

he won two oscars you're saying. yeah silence of the lamps yep but what's. the other one. just this year i don't know wait just. what just this year. 2021 i didn't watch the [ __ ] oscars i. have no idea what happened this year. wait what was he in this year what. happened i know that i know he was not. in it because steve yoon. young yun was unnominated as well for. midori. [Laughter]. uh give us a hint about the movie that. he was in it's not the mother.

but the father yes hmm. good hint i have no idea what that is. she's captain marvel. she's captain [ __ ] marvel. [Music]. i don't know her name that's so funny. that's so funny you know why. why because these white actresses to her. they all they're all the same she. couldn't tell that she thinks that's. jennifer lawrence. yeah then that's jeffrey lawrence all. right. she thinks they're all the same yeah. yeah she won for room. yes right room got a point yes you got a.

point. one one yeah one one okay i got two. bobby is two. okay no signs of lambs we both said what. do you mean that doesn't count. okay i know who that is let her guess. i've never. seen him are you really he has a famous. brother who's also an actor. how do you like them apples well these. are way too specific she'll never know. who this is this is casey. that's ben affleck's brother ben. affleck's brother who when he received. his oscar was. um i saw the movie i forgot what the. movie is called that he did.

yeah something about the sea it was. called uh. old man in the sea no what was it called. it was called uh. um close close see no i know manchester. oh manchester by the sea yes yeah you. can't get. yeah we'll just wash it we'll wash it. it's a washer to wash oh. yes and what did she win for i don't. know. come on you know thor ragnarok. no i don't think thor's won any oscars.

do you think thor the movie thor has won. an oscar yeah i don't know what you won. an oscar for. do you i'm trying to think was it really. a long time ago pete 2014. no not that long ago i got let me ask. let me. guess okay blue jasmine yes damn woody. is that three yeah it's three charlize. uh i got this one yeah fast and furious. nine i saw it last night it was so good. yeah she won one for a monster. so good in it monster yes monster. correct i get another point you didn't. say it so.

okay you have the name no she doesn't. like her on at this point this is for us. the listeners don't even give a [ __ ]. about this at all. okay this guy right here. is the greatest actor i know. not of all time but one of yeah. yeah i i i would he he he would be a. really strong argument. that he was the greatest of all time. you're not gonna include someone like. you know mel gibson in there. no this guy right here do you know his.

name. three names it's three names he give me. a hint. okay okay so his middle name is. what's the first name ian ian d brown. andy brown. and dan brown ian the brown that's the. company.

daniel day lewis day lewis danny lewis. what did he win for bob. there will be blood yes he's got three. oscars. yeah holy sh three three oscars lincoln. yep uh there will be blood and what. about feet. what'd you just say oh i know my left. foot oh yeah my left foot. come on you remember this guy denzel. washington no no. that's dave dave chappelle right there. how do you know yeah that's safe. he's got covered that's what he looks. like yeah.

that's dave chappelle that's what. happens when he gets covered yeah. you did his monologue last week yeah so. what do you want an oscar for just throw. the the name that you did the monologue. for. training day yeah training day did he. what did he went for training day. yes yes yeah that was the movie you get. a point oh you like her you know her. it's either emma watson or emma stone. god i love you so much rudy that i. say that i say stuff like that yeah. because i can't tell.

yeah me either this is emma stone emma. stone. okay harrison ford. [Laughter]. indiana jones but which one. which one temple of doom oh no the.

sleeping left eye. the wandering and the watering oh this. is one of the best. one of the best actresses of all time. yeah probably i would say that probably. yeah. probably it's like her in streep yeah. honestly this is what this is going to. do jules. is we're just going to go back home and. i have to educate you on this [ __ ] you. got to watch all these people because. this she. you should know who is she francis. mcdormand.

mcdormand mcdormand yeah she's married. to ethan cohen. yes no no no joel joel no wait. no maybe it is ethan going there's two. brothers ethan and joe cohen they. they're great directors. and they did they usually use her she. was also in. um um raising arizona if you i don't. remember oh yes she was yes she was. raising rosario she's done. probably a lot of them but the best one. she did was the first one which was. blood simple you think it's her best.

movie i mean it was a great movie blood. simple if you watch it it's like. low budget and it's her first movie with. these guys and yeah. in the 80s it's pretty good but. sometimes you have an affinity for the. original like people love uh. people have bottle rocket but i don't. know if that's as good as people want it. to be i love that movie. it's good but i think it's a you like it. because it's original um she was in. um fargo yes. um what's the one about that. uh that where her daughter gets actually. assaulted in that town.

is that it too which one's it called. it's the one that she just did norman. land. yes she won at four normal land yep yep. just this year. and uh the one that i'm talking about. it's called uh just one three right so i. got two of them already what stop. i know what's the score so far george oh. no who cares. yeah this movie this game is just like. bobby's taking it away with one two. three four five six seven sure. here's george just putting his balls in. your mouth when he says. george move on guys andrew has five and. rudy has. five with a couple of double uh double.

points all right rudy i think rudy won i. think we're done. [Music].