Soy Boys, Cuck & High-T | Ep 121 | Bad Friends

bonjourno we're in camarillo we're in. camarillo at eric griffin's wedding look. at how gorgeous this is it's so. beautiful beautiful yeah this is the. same fence they used in the show oz this. is the fence actually at the border this. is the border. yeah dude trump one funnier joke funny. joke hey come see us. live on the internet momenthouse.com. bad friends what's the date we're doing. the live show. june 28th june 28th bad friends live. everyone's gonna be there huge surprises. some please come someone might get.

something done to them momenthouse.com. bad friends june 28th sign up now say. goodbye bob bye you two are bad friends. who are these two idiots. white dude i'm an asian dude. [Music]. first of all most importantly yeah. rudy's in the philippines doc is not. here andres is filling in which is great. we have the real. bean.

when they say the real mccoy what does. it mean they're talking about steve. mccoy. love him yeah do you know steve mccoy. yeah one of the fastest shooters in the. world. i have no idea what it means jimmy the. kid oh jimmy yeah it was jimmy the kid. and tonti bob the builder jimmy the kid. yeah what is mccoy. it's from the house hatfields and mccoys. i know who that is do you know the. happened to mccoy is a fueling a feuding. family in the south have you heard of. these people oh no they were racist no. they were yeah they were fighting over. who kind of people who owned the most. black people is what they were fighting.

over really yeah. if i was a slave owner i would probably. only just if i was i would never do it. because it's not um it goes against my. ethics but here's the problem i'd have. only three. reasons that's my lucky number. yeah because they would be all in-house. but what color would they be. asian right but not. but not korean. japanese no a couple of chinese slaves. yeah yeah they work hard the problem is. with that word people have a connotation.

that think it's automatically going to. be about black people you want asian. slaves and they're not going to do. whatever they did i saw in the the roots. well you're you're not going to beat. eurasian slaves no i'm not going to do. any of that you're not going to. physically harm your asian slaves i'm. going to taunt them. with what. which is threats but i would never you. know. do the dishes or else you're going to be. out there with andrew slaves that's. right yeah cause you're out your frills. are out there yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. you know who my slaves are what hot. white guys.

really hot can i change no you already. don't want to change no you already. picked you can't go back dude dude can i. have all right. no hot white girls. no you kid that's just copying me hot. agent girls fine i can't have any girls. slaves outside yeah yeah they're outside. they live outside no i want to know. oh boobs but no t-shirts. oh because you know what i love. i want them to be working and doing the. cotton and stuff do they do. is this i don't know i don't know what. they do but for me it would be rice yeah.

because i don't eat cotton yeah i don't. need it i don't need i don't no need for. cotton yeah right but so rise but i like. it when like when you know like in music. videos when when the shirt they're not. wearing bras and the shirt gets wet all. right and you see the boobs yes. i don't know how you make rice with pans. sure you do yeah yeah why not. there's no doubt. yeah do they pan with the you know the. pan the rice right yeah and they're just. all go their juggies are you know ah. they have the [ __ ] the [ __ ] little. nippy nebula yeah.

the chunky nipples. yeah. i want my hi. my hot white slaves my hot white men. slaves are going to be harvesting uh soy. tofu obviously because that's what they. eat and i make them i make them oh yeah. i'll go i see what they're that's what. guys i didn't think gay but i guess they. are i didn't think gay oh they're not. they can be whatever they want to be. that's true in our day and age anyone. can be whatever they want to be we let.

our slaves be whatever they want to be. yeah yeah. my asian slave the women out there if. they want to rub their little tacos oh. they can rub tacos. kimchi sleeping outside they need a fire. you're gonna make them fire well they. have to rub the i don't know what. however they make the fire but they're. sleeping outside i know how i've. organized my hot male white male slaves. wow they they all sleep in one sleeping. bag all of them oh cool. can i do that with mine no you can't. keep copying. you know what and i and i zip them in.

every single night. oh did i kiss them. like as i go to bed yeah peas in a pod. peas in a pot yeah that's a really cool. one yeah my little soy boys that's what. i call them joy boys and i ring a bell. and you know what i'm wearing nothing. but a gun holster yeah. okay. oh that's good yeah i'm just wearing a. gun holster there's no gun in it though. there it's just it's a squirt it's a. squirt gun yeah okay can i have a. scorpion i spray them when they're. stories. yeah you can. i'm gonna tell you what my situation is. though all right so i'm gonna have a.

bunk bed uh-huh and the girl's gonna. sleep inside they're gonna sleep inside. now i've figured out that they're gonna. sleep outside okay but what i'm gonna do. is in the mattress i'm gonna cut out. holes for their bums. oh. right so i'm on the bottom bank they're. bunk in the top bunk poop on you. that's true it doesn't matter. that's worth it for the squirt guns oh i. thought you wanted them to poop on you i. thought that was the whole point of that. maybe maybe yeah yeah but i'll sc you. know i'll play a little game that night. see if i can squirt in the butthole the. hole itself. and the whole night that'd be cool right.

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah oh look at that. soyboy is what i call my boys soyboy is. a project of term that sometimes used. online communities described men lacking. masculinity not my boys my soy boys are. flipping this terminology i'm gonna have. buff hot white soy boys they wouldn't be. soy boys then what do you mean read the. definition of soy boy again i'm sorry go. back i'm sorry go back. give me the definition read it out. because i can't read it soy boy yeah. read it is a pejorative term sometimes. used in online communities to describe. men lacking masculine characteristics. the term bears many similarities and has.

been compared to the slang terms cuck. and low t. [Laughter]. by the way that's those guys cucking low. teeth yeah. no no no. no no pizza pizza. oh you're low tea yeah that makes sense. yeah yeah actually your high tea yeah is. that high. low testosterone correct thank you if. you have a high tea that's when you. start losing a lot of hair so that's why. he's more manly than all of us in this. room mm-hmm. that's amazing if you have high tea so. low t actually that's your rap names now. it's low tea and cuck.

low tea and cuck and right over here is. soy boy for sure low tea and [ __ ]. could i tell you something put it on a. shirt. can i tell you something that happened. to me. recently that's a miracle. yeah so um you know when i was doing my. relapse and the drinking you know the. drugs i was doing remember i was yeah i. was there i was a part of you were part. of that right was that i don't know if i. told you this but when i was jerking off. frequently i would jerk off. and nothing would come out. the dust not even dust.

no it wasn't. [Laughter]. and nothing would come out a bubble. maybe. yeah yeah. and lately dude bro you've been shooting. bro i could make a [ __ ]. i could make butter. i could make i could. no i could literally make churn some.

[ __ ] did you have retrograde ejaculation. that occurs when semen enters the. bladder instead of emerging through the. penis during orgasm you still reach. sexual climax you might ejaculate very. little or no semen that's you you had. retrograde ejaculation i don't know. about that you know you know when like a. hippie chick is like mercury is in. retrograde. you had retrograde ejaculation yeah my. dick was in retrograde your dick was in. retrograde yeah and now it's not now. you're in uh now you're in full moon but. it's like so much now what are you doing. with it. i don't know man i've been saving it.

i've i have been saving it i know you. have yeah but then it dries quick. yeah it's supposed to change yeah. it's really quick let me ask you. something when it dries quick right um. does the sperm they're dead. no. oh so they're just oh you know they're. like freeze tag oh they're doing improv. yeah they're doing improv and then when. they get tagged into a scene oh they're. doing improv yeah i thought it was more. like you know um prehistoric like. insects. like could i revive them later a hundred. percent oh yeah i come back to like i. just need the technology that. park has 15 to 30 minutes outside your.

body sperm can live 15 to 30 minutes. that's insane have you ever heard these. stories of like um. look this up there was a chick that like. saved a condom from a guy yeah and then. impregnated herself with it afterwards. like he threw it in the trash can he. thought nothing of it she went and. grabbed it and pregnanted herself in the. [ __ ] bathroom. and it worked it. so basically spring who impregnated. himself was stolen semen from. billionaire wins child support oh my god. this woman's a [ __ ] genius. so basically sperm is like princess leia.

in that one star wars movie. go on remember she floated out into the. gravity. right and for like 30 minutes it came. back that's right that's what sperms. like exactly what sperm is princess leia. is sperm. and vice versa by the way that was what. the whole film was about i didn't know. the that was the metaphor you know he's. like you're you are my you are my father. yeah that's where you're my daddy. started that's where daddy started as. like a sex term yeah star wars that's. look there he is sperm sperm in film.

frozen sperm in film. welcome back to sperm and film. yeah yeah sperm and film i've never seen. um. you've never seen a [ __ ] shot in a real. movie have you. [Laughter]. have you i don't think that. no wait no is that against. adam did it. adam driver did in the tv show girls. yeah like on season two he actually. ejaculated yeah they show the ejaculate. as well show me wow. yeah well i want to see i know i know a. movie.

there's something about mary but it was. in the hair. but steven admitted that was all fake. it wasn't real this is supposed to be. real you're carlos you're you're saying. this is real. it's not as real come of course. oh no adam drivers what about what about. that what about what about um what about. the movie that shia labeouf did where. they had to have like real sex with. other actors do you know what i'm. talking about no there was this like. experimental filmmaker do you know what. i'm talking about and yeah they did a. couple of those movies called dogma uh. and it was they had real vision in the.

95 96 where they have real sex the. idiots like live from tree or movies. yeah it's the same directors called. nymphomania yes yes yes lars uh. yes oh i love large front trees and they. had real sex on camera yeah what was. that lars von trier movie where it was. um what was it called york was in it. dancing in the dark in the dark dancing. did you see that [ __ ] no oh my god. anything you gotta watch that movie did. you see that movie guys dancing in the. dark.

there that movie made me cry so [ __ ]. hard anyway that by the way dude bruce. springsteen comes up obviously. look at bjork what a cool specimen. dancer in the dark dancer in the dark. yeah that was a really good movie but. but that was a lot hurts von trier right. yeah remember how mad people got at. bjork. like she's always somebody that was like. [ __ ] the system i love that do you. remember when she attacked that woman at. the airport i loved it that's my. favorite attack. she's my favorite celebrity attack she. tried to rip her hair out i thought that. was awesome it was the best like she.

went for the hair that's dope and they. tried to pretend like she was in the. wrong it's like dude that one had a. camera in her face you should be allowed. to physically assault paparazzi they're. in your face i don't think it was. paparazzi oh i thought it was can we see. that again that's why one of my favorite. celebrity attacks bangkok for the pop. star to lose that icelandic cool. hell yeah. oh yeah yeah yeah stop stop stop stop. stop [ __ ] yeah.

yeah yeah why is an english-speaking. woman welcoming to bangkok give me a. local welcome to bangkok okay how about. this what i'm gonna get off the plane. right you tell me the welcome to bangkok. that should have occurred. okay let's do it the other way. you do it yeah you say it say what. welcome to bangkok but you know that way.

or in in a non-intrusive way authentic. okay okay. i'm with my kids. where's the taxi what's going on welcome. to bangkok oh hi thank you. thank you yeah yeah exactly yeah some. white lady is like rocking your bank. account. i'll do that i'm ripping your hair out. and there's my little texture welcome to. bangkok [ __ ] oh i see i see i see it. i see him immediately. i see now some [ __ ] white lady let's. see it keep justifying let's see her.

yeah yeah. yo. yes. dude. so. rock and roll that's so [ __ ] rock and. roll it just feels not good it feels. awesome what it feels awesome that's. bjork that's literally punk rock. i don't think it is oh that's her oh no. it's julie kaufman. i just have some bruises i have a tough. head you know. no nothing's not i'm okay yeah she's hot. cool yeah she would i would have done.

that maybe she attacked her because she. was high welcome to the begging you know. what i've done. go on. what go on high five yeah high five high. five so it was it looked like a white. lady in the video it was not yeah it was. uh that's high julie kaufman her last. name is kaufman oh she's married she's. she's jewish she's half thai speaking of. wonderful asian ladies that definitely. have my approval what can i show you a. video of someone that i voted for you. did you vote yesterday oh yeah no you. didn't oh yeah no you [ __ ] could do. so dude rick caruso.

you didn't vote for him i did i devoted. for rick. caruso you didn't [ __ ] vote yesterday. i did man where. i did i went on beachwood where my old i. just because my my registration's still. at when you stumble i know you're lying. that's no that's me. no when i get accused of lying and you. lie no when i get accused of lying i. start stumbling. when i'm honest when i'm lying i'm very. precise because i plan it at the. elementary school yeah telemetry school. across the street from my old uh that. wasn't a polling place because i looked. it 100 is i was just there dude i got.

the [ __ ] sticker. it's at home who did you go with by. myself you wouldn't i vote every [ __ ]. time you went alone yesterday and voted. yes i did look me in the face and say. you swear on our friends. look me in the face the whole time say i. voted yesterday i swear in our. friendship. i didn't vote signs of lying it was. yesterday in vague offerings. it was yesterday yeah man you're. supposed to vote rick won. you were supposed to [ __ ] vote dude i. only vote for the main event.

what the [ __ ] are you talking about. ufc i don't watch the all the prelims. show him the video the woman that got my. vote yesterday. this woman isn't [ __ ] incredible go. up where's the it's to the top right. there he is this one's pretty good oh. this is doctor sarasota this is dr. candidate u.s senator. i'm a pastor. an educator an entrepreneur. and a business owner and immigrant from. seoul korea my dreams always supporting. business as educators principal of.

university i always dedicate my life. until today as educators as well as well. as i'm an immigrant you know from south. korea i know the immigration torture. they're moving the camera for some. reason. first of all let me tell you something. what i'm not making fun of this woman i. love immigrants who come here and. succeed. i'm serious. and dr lou is a [ __ ] doctor yeah. who's from seoul korea who came to this.

country and and loves america yeah and. is trying to change the american system. i'm for immigrants that come here and. win go. i want her in the [ __ ] you know why she. can't go why mitch mcconnell he loves. that [ __ ] oh. mitch mcconnell the turtle loves asian. olds he's like oh korean lady get over. here. like a nibble on your little korean legs. i mean i got one at home yeah i collect. koreans you know yeah. well i vote i voted i voted for her. because she is so dope.

look invited by san bernardino county. endorsement meeting. come on why did god call me to run for. office for u.s senator let's put dr. sarah son liu lou in. the [ __ ] senate did she win. she did not. yeah she did not do you think. she's dope look at her let me ask you. something. mitch mcconnell's face looks like he's. coming what face does he make when he is. coming he looks good when he comes oh so. he's like he talks like that and then. when he comes he's like hello hello he's.

definitely as soon as he knows i get it. then it goes back to creepy again yeah. yeah anyway i cast my vote i cast my. vote for for sarah's son lou and. did you really vote 100. i voted no you did it i voted. i endorsed her. where'd you vote yesterday. from the comfort of my couch exactly so. when you receive steve byrne calls me. and stephen goes. you want to go to israel. i go why. right he goes it's free they'll fly you.

out you come on you didn't do birthright. and pretended you were jewish no no no. can you imagine yeah i didn't do that no. but he said um. no the government israeli government is. flying out like. celebrities for free out there. to do a tour for free. and it's on the house they apply you. first class the whole thing wow and i go. oh who's going he goes. it's going to be me you george lopez. jamie chung brian greenberg her husband. i like him i love him i love brian right.

and i go it's free they go yeah. it's not free. because when you land there. they go you have to every day tweet. positive things. about israel yeah right yeah and i just. felt so uneasy. uneasy about it yeah but couldn't you. just go why do you because you have. because you have a lot of palestinian. friends yeah i mean i know some you know. i mean i don't know much about it i just. know that they're in conflict and it's. just like but i did i did what they said. but it's like the [ __ ] wrath i got.

was insane inside what was some of the. stuff you tweeted. jesus just choose good palestinians yeah. is that what you tweeted yeah yeah you. number one build the wall higher like no. it was just basically you know oh um. palestinians i know israel's a beautiful. country yeah this is probably true. that's true it is true but then it's. like i had to tag the government in it. or whatever oh that's crazy the israeli. government yeah oh [ __ ] that's weird as. [ __ ] yeah and it was just like every day. it was just nonsense you were cucking.

for the israeli government yeah but i. wish i hadn't gone really. but that was there did you float in the. dead sea oh yeah that's tight. that's worth the. dude but i got in trouble can i tell you. i got in trouble. so. so they they every day they go to you. take you on a tour right yeah and i was. you know i smoked back then right i. smoked back then right yeah. don't do that when i'm doing story thank. you new computer my bad all right it's. okay. i was smoking back then right so one day.

i didn't know where we're going they're. like we're gonna go and i was tired at. that point like i had another place. right oh. so i'm smoking a cigarette inside this. room. because there was no windows or whatever. yeah. and i'm smoking. and they go please don't smoke in here i. go why they go this is where the 12th. sub the supper was the last supper was. well i was in the room where the last. supper was well they didn't smoke after. they had a good meal.

that's true you told me jesus didn't. [ __ ] light up after they probably. banged yeah they needed a [ __ ] 12-man. bang like you think they [ __ ] on that. table they did they [ __ ] yeah yeah. that's why they were all on the same. side of the table yeah they were [ __ ]. how do they know that that's the room. that's why i asked how do you know this. is the room [ __ ] they don't know. they don't know [ __ ] but can i tell you. something funny that happened so. i laughed i almost died laughing because. they have this slab where um. i guess jesus laid and died or whatever. what do you mean like.

it's like this slab. like a concrete didn't he die on the. cross they did but after that they put. them down on this thing. they probably threw them down. yeah yeah sure they weren't like gentle. yeah yeah anyway so i'm with steve byrne. and we got to cut in line because that. line was like nine hours long to get to. that slab [ __ ] i'm like it's not like. i'm cutting i'm smoking. sliders. an old 50s mobster yeah then we cut the. line. right so we get to the to the slab right.

yeah and i'm still smoking and i'm going. where the [ __ ] is. where the [ __ ] is steve burns all right. right. and they look down. and his hands are on the slab. and he's convulsing crying shut up i. swear to god. and i start laughing. ship station hey how do we get our merch. out. that ships dude when you run a business. time seems more precious right andrew it. is every misplaced moment feels like a. missed opportunity a lost chance to make.

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microphone at the top of the page and. type in bad friends shipstation.com. click on the microphone make sure they. happen type in bad friends ship station. make ship happen better help you oh my. god you know during the pandemic the. only thing that helped me was better. help because i got to do online therapy. and it's really a great service it is. dude i used to do uh in-person therapy. and i got to be honest with you i didn't. love going to an office i don't like. going somewhere and waiting and. scheduling through traffic and all that. stuff it's so nice to do it from the. comfort of your own house and life can. be overwhelming and many people are.

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anyone on camera if you don't want it. it's much more affordable than in-person. therapy and it can be matched with the. therapist in under 48 hours our. listeners are gonna get 10 off their. first month at betterhelp.com bad. friends that's better he lp.com. bad friends i don't even know. the full ten com like. love thy neighbor is that one. yeah thou shalt not steal thou shalt not. kill thou shall not covet thy neighbor's. wife. thou shall not uh zoom in okay no no go. back you had it go back to the previous. page you had it right there zoom in ten. commandments right there.

zoom in less selfish. you shall have no other gods before me. thou shalt not make unto thee any graven. images right what does that mean only. fans you can't do only fans. they had it back then okay thou shalt. not name the lord thy god in vain to. take the lord's name in vain so if i say. god damn it you just did it. remember the sabbath day and keep it. holy sunday i don't [ __ ] know is that. the sabbath is it saturday for for the. jews yeah oh but what about christ this. isn't for jews. yeah yeah this is christian [ __ ] no.

but moses came way before jesus so until. jesus comes in everybody's a joke do the. new one not the old one. catholics believe in this one catholics. believe in this one i want the new one. though man thou shalt not steal thou. shalt not commit adultery thou shalt not. kill honor your father and your mother. oh unless you don't have one of the two. like your dad is dead you can't honor. him anymore yeah i [ __ ] that up you. [ __ ] that up. well killing's obviously an obvious one. i don't know yeah me either still in.

but it depends on what you dude you. think stealing is always bad check it. out. if you're starving yeah and you steal. food. is that bad. i believe that. like a priest would say that is bad [ __ ]. him he [ __ ] kids. yeah i'm not the priest i'm just saying. that's true you know somebody put up a. really clever post today on twitter that. i thought was incredible that some some. senator some republican senator woman. was like. instead of sending your kids to uh. something why not send them to church.

instead of homeschooling maybe put them. in church or something like that yeah. and someone tweeted back at her and it. was like. uh. the number of. a killings at a [ __ ] school and they. like numbered the amount of kids that. have died in school shootings and they. wrote the number of kids sexually. assaulted by the catholic church in the. past [ __ ] 50 years and it was 260. 000. 260 thousand thousand that's insane yeah. yeah yeah. they keep moving those kids i think that. thou shalt not be homo would be a one of.

them because because they make such a. big deal let me tell you something the. phrase that's in the bible is they'll. shall not lay with another man. yeah. they don't they don't say you can't [ __ ]. them and kill yeah i i i'll never lay. with another man but i'll [ __ ] after we. have sex i will [ __ ] the [ __ ] out of one. after you and i have sex we've never. we've never laid we don't know we just. go on we don't even say goodbye no we'll. see you later. you shall not lie with a male as as with. a woman it is an abomination chapter 18. verse 22 if a man lies with a male as a. woman both of them have committed an.

abomination they shall surely be put to. death their blood is upon them chapter. 20 verse 17. you know why this is what. because [ __ ] he got a little taste of. a guy and was like this is bad you know. what i mean all right no wrong bad. that's what it is guilt it's guilty. guilt that's the original sin yeah is. that he didn't accept who he really was. i've said this before that jesus was gay. jesus was gay. we want to say because i know these are. your jokes on your acts so i want to. tell you to save them so don't burn. through him jesus was gay don't burn. through was he gay.

no i'm dead serious i look this up this. is they have a lot of proof that says. that he might actually be gay. i know but it's just like you know he's. the bottom. uh he he would be top. he's the lord you think that. what but he likes being dominated okay. can i ask you this because he's serving. all day long he wants to be certain. imagine a guy having sex with jesus and. he's on top i'd just be like just. i just feel wrong this is wrong. this feels wrong. and jesus oh oh. it's so bad you're so bad and i come in.

his butthole and then wine comes out. [Laughter]. that was how he turned it was yeah it. was jizz into wine he got water yeah he. lied to us. i can't believe you know so much about. you're christian right. i mean i was born in spain so you have. to be you have to be catholic by just. that and by the way it's pride month. right now right and ironically. who's the most homophobic. yeah for sure yeah for sure spanish.

people for sure which is ironic because. you guys seem the most. hey. yay. this is elegant look at how he's sitting. you know if jesus is talking about right. now jesus uh healed lepers and stuff. what would you i would ask you know what. if i was around back then and he held. heal lepers and stuff i'll just walk up. to one guy. can you. give me a black dick. [Laughter]. what would you ask for what is that zoom. in on that oh it's just a scene if uh.

gay marriage is legal in spain it's been. legal since 2005. yeah. wow. good for you guys how about mexico it's. gay marriage i believe it is is it yeah. because you guys hate gay people. mexicans are so not as much as koreans. watch korea i'm kidding. same-sex marriage in mexico. 2010 legally recognized yeah korea do. korea i don't know about this one yeah i. don't think so i don't think so. south korea declines declines recognized. same-sex partners yeah.

this is my problem though. this is my problem i'm being certain you. didn't have to google i already knew it. no this is my problem yeah here we are. in the united states and whites get the. brunt of all this homophobic [ __ ] yeah. everybody i know that's not white is way. more homophobic that's true i'll say it. and i [ __ ] mean it yeah every asian. friend i have their families are all. crazy anti-gay oh there are some african. uh countries that uh if you're gay it's. they kill you they kill you yeah they. kill you you know stop this [ __ ]. because everyone i know is chill with.

gay people but that's what i loved. because when i like would. [ __ ] around with dudes when i was a kid. you go back to korea they'll kill you no. but i would tell my parents. oh just to make your dad get to make. them angry. i set the dick yesterday dad. he would you know if he could turn into. a yellow hulk. smash yeah asian hulk we should have an. asian hulk by the way yeah. but he wouldn't be korean.

why maybe japanese. they're the only ones he would be. benedict wong. who's benedict wong he's in doctor. strange oh yeah you'll be benedict yeah. yeah yeah yeah. you should be a superhero by the way. which one. just your i mean wolverine you should be. a new one i would can't pay for. wolverine i'm saying you need to be a. new superhero there needs to be bobby. lee needs to be a little superhero i got. one. i know what my power would be what is it. no everything my butthole turns to. adamantium steel.

so nobody can get in and nothing comes. out. so you just fill up with poop. and and and like if i saw like magneto. or whatever uh-huh. [ __ ] me. and he's like oh that's a shot because. my butthole my ass would be nice and. shiny beautifully shiny yeah and they. would stick in i would just rip their. dick off. and. out of their hole pretty cool what's. your power. what's my power. if i was a superhero. my power would be.

to be able to switch races. i could switch that's a good one i could. switch and a dime boom on a dime i could. switch and become another race can i can. my butthole switch races. stop copying i know no just stop my body. you do the body thing i just want my. just your butthole just. fine i'll get good thank you fine thank. you. i had a sore butthole uh. no uh scratch that. did you really have a sore puddle no i. had a sword but my butt cheeks were sore.

because i. uh was swimming all day. in the [ __ ] ocean in hawaii and i got. uh and i got a little leg cramp and my. ass got so tight and sore i couldn't get. back in the [ __ ] canoe i had. the best time i've ever had in hawaii. yeah i saw photos this time was the best. time i've ever had i went swimming. in the morning at 7 00 a.m we went out. and we canoed out like about a quarter. mile out. and the ocean right there is about what. island 30 40 we're on the big island. about 30 or 40. feet deep the guy said and the guy we.

were with he was like i'm gonna dive. down with the gun see if i can shoot. mahi mahi and i was like. what he's like for sashimi and i was. like holy [ __ ] wow he dives down and. then he dives back up and goes there's a. shark. it's so it's a white it's called they. call him maybe whitetail or something. like that it's it it whatever he because. he's like it's the panda of the sea. whatever he was saying. the panda of the sea that's what he said. i'm not kidding he goes if they're soft. they're sensitive. and panda of the sea shark.

oh that no right shark right shark. i don't know what breed it was. but let me say this is that it. no that's not what it looked like. it was really thin but that's cute as. [ __ ]. looks like a dolphin with down syndrome. a a downfin yeah he swims down there and. he goes like this hey there's a shark in. the coral i'm not making this up there's. 15 other people with me that can say. that yeah he goes i'm gonna go down. there and i'm gonna get him out of the. cave and i was like. what if he freaks out and he's like he.

freak out on me if anything it won't be. on you cause it's again it's 20 or 30. feet down yeah he dives down in the. coral this guy was impressive he would. sit for like two or three minutes and. hold his [ __ ] breath on the bottom of. the ocean which is crazy. and he he literally goes puts his arm in. the cave and then he goes like this to. us like this come to look you look to. look and sure enough out comes this. [ __ ] shark swims right around his. body yeah i'm not kidding and then goes. right back in he comes up and he was. like wasn't that cool and i was like no. why get that keep that [ __ ] thing in. the cave we're in the middle of the.

ocean it's the panda shark dude we are. [ __ ] we are two 300 yards three. football fields away from the canoe. we've swam out and we're in the middle. of the fifth floor panda shark i know. but even pandas maybe like to eat [ __ ]. bite and kill and i was like you made a. bamboo yes. but it was [ __ ] beautiful and then we. saw um. we went night swimming with manta rays. which is one of the coolest things i. think i've ever done in my life they. light up the bottom of the ocean and you. can i mean you can see probably a radius. of like 40 feet and it's so [ __ ].

crazy they put these lights on. surfboards so the plankton get you know. the photosynthesis starts to make them. start to eat and you hear them clicking. then these things show up and they do. barreled barrel roll dives they come. right up under your belly bobby yeah and. they flip over and then dive right back. down it was the [ __ ] coolest thing. i've ever done it was so the whole trip. was it made me want to move to [ __ ]. hawaii but then i found out um how much. they hate white's there and i was like. i'll just visit your holly they hate. white i hate you guys yeah do you know. what haole means. no.

land ghost oh really ghost when they. first saw whites they thought ghost oh. wow look at that [ __ ] ghost yeah and. by the way who's more ghostly than me. yeah. no one i'm not kidding when i say this. yeah one can of sunscreen every day went. through one full can you look tanner. though a full can of sun like your four. arms are tan a little i mean this is a. little bit yeah full can of sunscreen. didn't burn very proud five days didn't. burn. had a wonderful [ __ ] time it would. dude hawaii is. i learned what it means it's been there. god i learned what it means too he's.

and the convergence of these three. things that makes up the island [ __ ]. hippie here man it's [ __ ] i gotta. tell you something you have crystals too. [ __ ] i got spiritual i got spiritual as. [ __ ] while i was truly man over here man.

[ __ ] earth water don't disrespect the. [ __ ] [ __ ] you don't disrespect. [ __ ] wrath don't disrespect dude. don't disrespect my culture and my. [ __ ] people dog he goes to one truth. he's so annoying one trip he's like. breath of water light [ __ ] you it was. beautiful. yeah i've been there [ __ ] god yeah but. you're trying to get an experience yeah. you don't get out of the [ __ ] hotel. you loser you don't do [ __ ] you [ __ ]. sit on your dick in the hotel. you don't think that i've been out there. with the sharks too one time i'll do. everything one time. and after what you know after i do it.

one time i've done it. i want to show you the video oh i don't. want to see it the guy oh look at this. can i send this to pete or well pete i. text it to you i don't [ __ ] see this. [ __ ] man no because this you'll like it. you'll love this it's like having a. girlfriend it's like. i mean check out my day [ __ ] you. anyway go ahead. okay. it's kalila. this guy was a huge bad friend fan.

the fire the fire spinner yeah yeah. and he came up to me afterwards and was. like. i'm a massive fan of you guys i [ __ ]. love you guys and i was like oh thank. you and he went up there and he spun. [ __ ] fire like you've seen them do. that [ __ ] at the luau i have yes and. this guy explained it to me like an. [ __ ]. i mean carlos [ __ ] amateur over here. i mean he's so excited about the trip he. wants to get you included yeah yeah. thank you carlos what did you do in. hawaii carlos with bobby when you guys. went no i don't want to [ __ ] know how.

many how many sharks did you guys see. uh. zero sharks and it was the first time i. took a hundred milligram edible. with me yeah yeah and you introduced me. to it and then what did you guys do. i went to my room and just yeah yeah. yeah yeah yeah. cool cool vacation yeah [ __ ]. here. yeah but still we're in hawaii doing. that yeah we had dinner yeah different. environments. let's see the photos no no it's over you. drown my mood. [Laughter].

[ __ ] drown my mood it's just it's the. same thing as you know i mean like you. know you have to endure that with your. girlfriend right like check out my day. look at the photos i went to the dog. park look at the photos right and you do. it and you know you're half interested. but you have to be mindful and you have. to do it right but from your friend it's. just come on guys let's go man. look great though do you win the golf. tournament or. celebrity golf tournament distillery.

golf tournament it was enjoyable. i say out there i saw some of the. pictures looks great with you and your. white friends. in the golf cart. really good did you win. i hosted my it was hosted by a black guy. my white friends. with the photos i saw were with you my. friends what photos. were you golfing on the golf tournament. where on your instagram why are you. looking at my instagram because you're. my friend get off my instagram i don't. want you ever looking at my answer no no. no no no we're best friends [ __ ].

[ __ ] tell us about more hawaii. more words that you learned. what does aloha mean. we'd love to hear about that. a means. sunlight. okay. lo means low to the ground. r beans hello. [Laughter]. aloha who gives a [ __ ]. okay okay what. mahalo what does that mean mom means ma.

literal. means hello like i said in aloha right. yeah yeah. oh means who gives a [ __ ] who gives a. [ __ ] [ __ ]. [ __ ]. [ __ ]. yeah am i not right carlos. you're on my side right. how about carlos. i understand. harry i love that package look at how. cool this package oh my god harry's is. the high level. it's highly it's what clooney probably.

uses maybe yeah yeah this is harry shave. gel it comes in this beautiful little. package they give you this great little. box you slide it out and there is your. razor box. that's the starter kit i've had it can. we shave your back right now on bad. friends no come on baby come on let me. foam you up yeah i'm not eric griffin. now listen. and it comes with this little traffic. case which i actually really like you. can clip it in this thing uh when you're. on the go to shave your face i'm gonna. tell you about the um the first time uh. starter kit okay it includes a five. blade cartridge yeah a weighted handle.

yep foaming shave gel yep and a travel. travel cover to protect your blades on. the go a 13 value all for only three. dollars do that three dollars come on. this is more than three dollars three. dollars dude wow that's pretty. impressive you get everything you need. for a great shave and nothing but that. these other people are gonna overcharge. you for gimmicks that you don't need. harry's prioritize this simple quality. craftsmanship at a fair price you get. everything you need right here in the. box and it's not a rip off and they're. still going to offer you a no risk trial. which is impressive if you uh don't like. your shave no worries it's on them.

they're going to give you back your. money which is ridiculous. just go to harry's.com bad friends today. to get your starter set for just three. dollars three dollars hey man new look. same incredible offer there's really. never been a better time to give harry's. a try that's harry's.com. bad friends. whoever. where would we go in italy if you and i. went. i would go out to to probably i'd. probably go out to. capri the island of capri with you and. [ __ ] leave you there. see you know it's so funny take you on. the other side of the you got to get.

over whatever you're doing right now. this this anger thing it doesn't suit. you. it's all i have. it's literally what i'm made of anger i. understand it's my whole [ __ ] thing. you tuned me up and you're gonna get it. back. i didn't do anything yeah really you did. a [ __ ] five minute no you're talking. you should have a five minute who gives. a [ __ ] no people will give a [ __ ] okay. so keep going then no you care about my. opinion yeah you [ __ ] it up your. rhythm [ __ ] it up no i didn't [ __ ] it. up yeah you did yeah you and you didn't.

yes and any of it you [ __ ] it off yeah. yeah i guess and all you're [ __ ]. well let's talk about the panda shark. again. [Laughter]. that was interesting. how you wrapped around the [ __ ]. instructor and went back in and you're. like oh whoa. reiterate all everything you said good. i'm glad you listened yeah yeah it's. [ __ ] fascinating all right yeah. [ __ ] i can't get that [ __ ] time back.

you need it back. you need to get that time back no i. loved it no we'll get it back i want to. hear it we'll get it i love it. i want to hear it again. it's like i want to see top gun again. you want to go see it i saw it already. good yeah yeah good we were like we were. going to go who you and i remember oh. that's right yeah thanks for waiting. are you going to [ __ ] eric's wedding. yeah i moved my flight to go to eric. griffin's wedding and i'm so happy that. he's getting married and i'm gonna go.

but here's what i don't like right when. you go on the website right. it has all those little things of what. they want. registry the registry i don't know what. that is right but you gotta buy him a. gift not doing it you got to buy them. again did you buy them i i don't i. didn't buy it yet but you have a year to. do it oh well. isn't that the standard is a year yeah. you you have a year after the wedding to. give a gift traditionally people do it. within like a couple of months that's an. american thing it's an american thing. what do the standards do you do it on. the the day off or or before well [ __ ].

you guys we have [ __ ] going on i like. the way italians do it like in the mafia. movies where they just have a bag and. envelopes of money money right yeah. that's the way you should do it well you. can give them money. so if i just give him like 500 bucks. that's good. yeah is that not enough not enough no i. think that's like a thousand. i think you should give a thousand. so i'll just give him a thousand i'm not. doing the registry thing yeah that's the. one in the same cash is just as good. it's yeah it's the same a grand but give. it to him in once. of course just to be inconvenient yeah.

give him stripper ones yeah i'm gonna. i'm gonna buy something off the [ __ ]. thing what are you gonna buy whatever's. on there's some [ __ ] they probably. want like pots and pans or glassware. [ __ ] if it's like bracelets like a final. bracelet yeah but the good thing is then. you can just buy one of those things and. then get it over with i don't want to. like get go get cash out or write a. check [ __ ] they're like [ __ ] 1200 or. something. wait is it really yeah. i'm gonna buy the cheapest thing on. there that's what i try to do sheets. i was looking for [ __ ] paper towels. like you know soup i think i'm gonna buy.

them soup. a couple of cans of spam yeah. but there's two events i don't like. going to. weddings one is weddings funerals yeah. they're both like just i love a good. funeral. some i'd rather go to a funeral actually. i love a good funeral yeah you know what. you know what an irish wake is you know. what that is no it's a party we get. [ __ ] annihilated we literally drink. the whole time where the body's in the. room it's funny as [ __ ] really the. body's in the casket yeah look at that. and we throw a [ __ ] rager around the.

body. oh i love that we did that for my. grandmother we literally [ __ ] part. you party you [ __ ] party like if i. was there could i party with your. grandma 100 yeah and people and people. like put weed in her mouth and stuff and. [ __ ] do rock stars oh do they really. no. oh that's cool. that's the body i can't touch the body. no you don't [ __ ] touch a body but. you party around it that's the whole. thing. you're celebrating their life while you. know what i mean like you're celebrating. so people are you know ripping [ __ ]. heaters. smoke a little [ __ ] herb chug some. booze shotgun a beer do you cry a lot.

though. not really because you're talking to. people you're catching up with people. the crying part is that the physical the. funeral. uh service but what if it's like you. know. your 12 year old son got ran over you. still party. yeah if he's irish oh really yeah what. ran him over what what round that truck. sick yeah yeah but you would still party. yeah i don't think you would yeah you'd. party really yeah you got a party you. celebrate their life because they're. already dead we can't bring them [ __ ]. back what are you gonna do.

hmm this that the irish like to i the. idea is you have to celebrate. with the people that are still left and. to to toast to the person that's gone. it's a good idea. yeah but i don't like looking at the. body i don't like that the body's an. open casket thing i'm not a huge fan of. that we have you looked at would you. look down at mine. i'd yes. and you know what you know what they do. you go up and people cross out and they. say like a prayer and [ __ ] or they. stayed they talked to them god i just. had a vision of going to your funeral. oh my god it's devastating you think.

you're you think we'd invite you. i would go anywhere and give a [ __ ]. we're not gonna tell you where it is. but i'm not gonna you're not gonna have. i'm getting cremated i'm not gonna have. my body out and about you're not gonna. have an open open [ __ ] that you know. what the jews do that i love the jews. for this they [ __ ] jews they don't. show you the body when it's dead oh i. don't want to [ __ ] see it again yeah. i never liked that as a kid when any. family member died and you got to see. him and like why am i looking at this. [ __ ] guy it's a weird like final. image like i don't like it yeah yeah. i've never like lost somebody i'm really. close to though except for my dad i was. just gonna say you're [ __ ] dead my.

dad but like in terms of like someone my. age or somebody i've you've never lost a. friend. well like brody was a friend yeah but. not that close huh no i was still close. but he's not like in my. top two or three circle. yeah yeah i mean i've like you know like. if i lost klyla i've never like. something like that. would you throw a party no. you wouldn't throw i think i would be. devastated if she died yeah i would be. devastated but would it depend on how. she dies or it doesn't matter no if.

she's eating about a panda shark. doing whatever she loves funny joke. didn't hear you didn't understand what. you were saying. funny joke though what if she's getting. what if she's getting like a train run. on her by a professional sports team yes. and she dies that way i would go. then you'd want to see it yeah okay yeah. and she dies getting a train run on her. yeah i just like if somebody's sick for. a long time that would be sad. and then they die. okay how about this yeah delilah's in a. coma.

let's talk about your sister. how long your sister how long until you. pull the plug. that's a tough one she's in a coma for. how long and i'm the doctor yeah mr lee. hi thank you yeah. listen she's been in a coma now for a. week yeah she's showing signs i just. unplugged it. well we're trying to conserve a little. bit of power yeah yeah solar panels.

aren't doing a job this year let's move. on. all right how long how long. how long would i um how long would you. give it if the doctor said let's be real. about it so there's brain function she. her brain is still firing. we predict she could be in a coma for. maybe even another week to a month so we. don't really know but well i saw a movie. with robert de niro in it. i forgot what it was called but um. awakening. yeah dude i know what it's called. in the [ __ ] bit.

[ __ ] face these guys are these guys are. invaluable. i know it's awakenings but like you know. me for the bit i was. not knowing the [ __ ] name. do you understand what i'm saying. god bless you you [ __ ]. i hope one day a [ __ ] panda shark. eats you. man all right. so i would probably. what about your sister. how long. oh man you can't you can't answer this. question. i would probably it depends on what she. wanted right i think she would want it.

us to unplug her if she never clarified. because no one said this i've never had. this conversation i would just be like. because of the movie awakening. [Laughter]. how long yeah i'm gonna keep it as long. as the brain's functioning. when the brain's dead i'm gonna unplug. then you'll unplug yeah. what about your sister now. how long would i keep my sister alive. yeah. brain's functioning.

a couple hours. it depends i have to go somewhere not be. real how long would i keep my family. alive yeah unless they said they want to. be taken off i would just keep them on. forever yeah me too but then you think. what if they're miserable. what if like if they're trapped in like. this purgatory hell of like half awake. can't funk that's crazy nightmare well. that's what i'm saying that's what you. we know and they're in the program like. you won't unplug me and we don't know. that they can't die like you don't know. that they're you know what i mean we. don't know what their movement is or. their cognitive thinking is still like. firing enough to have them be conscious.

trapped in a place where they you never. had a dream where you can't breathe or. you can't speak or you can't run oh my. god when you're getting chased by. something what if they're having that. and you're running so. slow yeah and then i just stop i just go. eat me. you colitis told me a story about a girl. she was in social coma or something and. they thought that she was brain dead or. whatever but she was trapped in her mind. right and then they figured it away i. don't know exactly what it was a way to. communicate and she they were able to. and she was like.

i've been trying to talk to you guys. forever. you're i mean see that's what i mean but. i you know for years i've been in. like watching you guys not being able to. say anything. right just like that would [ __ ] me up. right and now she can communicate i. don't know how she does it but like yeah. she with her like with her mouth. the keyboard you know that thing with. their eyes oh their tongue i don't know. that'd be cool that'd be a cool thing a. tongue thing. clean my [ __ ]. right.

but if i if you if i had the tongue. thing. and the keyboard was i heard i put my. dick right on the keyboard yeah you. would. [Laughter]. let me tell you something if you were on. a call if you were in a coma state like. that my friend i would stay with you for. the until the very end no you know you. would i would keep you alive and i said. yes i would. i would do everything in my power to. keep you alive. well they said i'm in a coma with my. eyes open.

your choice. oh so can you if somebody's in a coma i. don't i don't know why i'm doing this. with my hand. all right yeah i would probably do that. call my hands. [Laughter]. like i'm a squirrel yeah yeah so i'm in. a coma right. can you open my eyes. we could open the lids of your eyes. would it stay open like this no. or. oh oh i would just close it back down. yeah okay. but i would keep you alive. wow. no no i'm saying i wouldn't i would make. sure they don't they don't unplug.

because steve would be like i don't know. man maybe we should unplug them you know. steve would run on play yeah because he. knows my will uh-huh. yeah he'd want you on camera he knows my. will yeah yeah so and i'd keep you alive. i'd say we can't unplug them we have to. keep bobby like this but i i honestly. dude and this is the honest truth and. i'm not doing this for comedy sake right. okay well number one. i think that you would visit me more. than anyone else i really i would but. probably once a year. no that's insane there's no way you. would if i knew you were i'm just saying. this right now you would never visit me.

i would i would not more than i would. visit you yeah we would you know what. we'd have we would have you we would. ship your body to the big island. that's where you left. hawaii yeah that had me swim with sharks. yeah yeah yeah and we would be right. there right yeah and then have an. aquarium around you yeah yeah with. [ __ ] panda sharks yes right yes and. that same guy the [ __ ] luau guy for. being a bad friend he's gonna be there. yes right just with the torch all the. people that i love all the people you. love and the torch right and a big ban.

on what hawaii means. whatever i don't forget what it was. but we'll look it up breath breath. breath breath breath water light yeah. that would be tattooed on your face sick. yeah i would do that tattoo that right. on your face dude i would keep you alive. yeah where would you put me and i would. always say and i would say to the um. i would say to the doctor or the nurse. and i'd be friendly with them and i. would bring them stuff snacks chocolate. wine you know i'd butter them up yeah. and i'd like can i have a moment in the. room alone with him and they would go. absolutely yeah and i'd be a little.

sweet i'd pretend to be sweet and every. single day i'd visit you every single. day yeah i would visit you every day. once a day okay and i would put. something in your [ __ ]. every day what anything anything i could. find it would collect slowly but surely. over time right i'd start with something. small like what a sharpie okay a sharpie. i'd throw a sharpie in there would to. freak you out though is if you stuck a. sharpie in my butthole and all these. things right the next day came in and. they were in my mouth. [Laughter]. would that freak you out i would wink at.

the doctor. because he knows. no you did it i don't know we it's a. mystery that will freak you out it just. ends up somewhere imagine if i go two. sharpies in my nose if i'm talking to. you if i'm like. bobby it's good to see you i've got to. go soon and then you just go and a. sharpie just comes right out of your. mouth yeah yeah yeah from your butt and. i gotta. [Laughter]. yeah i would visit you i would visit you. a lot yeah and i'll visit you once a. year yeah yeah that's what i'm saying. i'd visit you way more than you'd visit. me i don't know we'll see this is it's a.

contest i hope we never do. it's a contest i hope that never happens. it never happens yeah yeah let me ask. you this like so if let's say eric. griffin was in a coma. pull the plug. no no oh no no no no keep him alive yeah. keep him alive how many times do you. visit him. i think once is good. twice i think wants to say i miss you i. love you yeah if you get out we'll see. you yeah if not yeah.

i want there's not a lot of room in the. in the room. hey buddy excuse me. it's so [ __ ] mean. so mean. it's so great. i love them why are we even talking. about this comas and stuff well because. that thing i don't know i don't even. know how our brains got that way yeah. well the [ __ ] box that was so. depressing i saw rudy post a picture of. herself in the philippines in like a. little lake or some [ __ ] like that with.

her mom. well she was like swimming in a bay or. something like that yeah she looks like. she's having fun i hope rudy likes where. she is because she's not coming i know i. called um. i called them you called ins yeah yeah. and i said that she can't come back she. can't come back she's illegal she's. illegal and i don't think she i don't. think she wants to what if she doesn't. want to come back. i've thought about that because if. another pandemic had because you can't. what i mean if if something if there's. another there's monkey boxes on its way. i know do you know there's not like 30. how many people have monkey pox right. now yeah but you can only get that it's.

hard to get what do you mean it's hard. to get you need the anal sex to get it. okay. so i'm a candidate yeah i'm not. the second case was found today in. california oh. cases it's hard to get it's here. it's one guy it's here look at that look. at all the states it's in it says one. right now that hasn't been uh yeah it's. been around for three or four months one. guy has it dude eight cases pretty tight. where do we have the most cases in the. country yeah no i thought new york was. higher york has nine ah they got us by. one yeah well i'm going to new york.

maybe i can bring it back. i'd love to try it out what does it look. like on your skin. little bubbly i don't like it the little. bubbly bubbles oh because so it could. really it's actually you'd hate to have. it yeah so should i get it. i don't want bubbly bubbles it sounds. like something i'm purchasing off amazon. should i buy it look at that you want. that that's monkey box. yeah yeah that looks that looks like. burns like blister burns yeah yeah how. do you get monkey pox. anal anal sex is that the only way with. a monkey you have to [ __ ] a monkey get. the [ __ ] yeah how do you catch monkey.

pox. it's a cool name it's a real zoom in up. top. monkey pox can be caught from infected. rodents such as rats mice and squirrels. so whatever i'm going to eat in new york. yeah. in parts of west and central africa you. can catch monkey box from infected. animal if if you're bitten or you touch. its blood body fluids spots blisters or. scabs yeah why do they call covet panda. pox panda pox yeah it wouldn't be cooler. panda pox yeah i got panda pog it's just. a seamless covid cove it sounds mean. mean panda pox sounds fun fun look at.

that though you can get it from touching. so it's either close contact with. infected skin so someone else bedding. clothing so if i sleep in like a shady. motel i might be able to get it yeah. yeah or just playing with the animal. blood. yeah so if you're just out there well. you know i love playing with animal. blood. people in new york who did it yeah well. obviously it's someone someone had. something a rat had either you know what. i mean but if ebola. ebola i want to have ebola let's get you.

some ebola. because if i got ebola and survived it. that's a bragging right you might. how about this though look up the size. by the way i saw an article the other. day about the size of the the rats in. new york now all right like the amount. and the size are at an all-time high. it's gotten out of control they're. literally doing one of these uh. uh they sent out like a [ __ ]. what is this new york city rats of the. norway red brown the average rat is 16. 000 weight of one pound can grow up to. 20 inches and weigh two pounds but there. was like this thing i just saw an. article on twitter that was like they're. calling not for a state of emergency but.

for for new york to finally like they. have to actually do something about it. it's getting out of [ __ ] let me see a. photo of one. but it's nothing like the filipino bat. no it's not have you seen that yes we've. showed it on this show yeah look at the. size that's a [ __ ] that looks like my. dog that's my dog yeah that's like a. little chihuahua it's the same size as. my dog look at how big oh my god zoom in. on that one that's a foot locker in the. bronx. it's a foot locker yeah yeah he back. well he didn't know jordans were getting.

released that day so he was just gonna. drop yeah. [Laughter]. guinea pigs bigger bigger yeah. what is that. one and a half pound rodent. caught in new york lately these are the. big ones uh andrew's talking about my. god. because they can eat them of course they. do how do you think monkey pox got. spread. pox baby yeah.

that's oh there's a guy holding one. no no way no. like a raccoon that's not a rat that's. not a rat that's a raccoon or a. porcupine it looks like. massive rat in london oh yeah but that's. you know london. yeah there they love their rats out. there that's out there you can make fun. of me again for hawaii but [ __ ] me on. the way back do we hit such bad. turbulence that there is that moment. where you're like i'm over the [ __ ]. ocean i'm over the [ __ ] ocean yeah. and it was sketch.

would you but would you sketch but would. you rather. land in the ocean or in a mountainous. region like colorado. well i would rather land like in the. flats of any [ __ ] place there's a lot. of most of the country is flat as [ __ ]. i know but if you if if a plane went. down though i'd rather go water no no in. the middle of the [ __ ] ocean at night. [ __ ] off no chance oh it float on dead. bodies no you're not you're not floating. i mean well you're quite buoyant but i. don't think i i would survive do you. know. if i if i survived the landing.

if a plane crashed if i survived the. landing you're never gonna you wouldn't. survive the lane because i would do the. opposite of what you're supposed to do. yeah everyone's supposed to do this. right yeah. i would just do i would stand and do. something opposite because i know that. doesn't work. and i will live. i'm alive. right. so you're the only one that lives. like this right and everyone's gonna be. like this i'm gonna be like this. you crash in the ocean right the chances. of it landing swimming it's dark yeah. i'm swimming here comes a panda shark.

all right and i go and it swims around. me and it goes right back into his cage. yeah it goes right back in this game. right and that guy is like. yeah so what i would do is i would find. other things that would float. what parts of the plane yeah parts of. the plane together right you mean or you. know a large man the wing or a wing. right and i'd float on that for a while. and then people would try to get on it. and i would do. like get mine. yummy yeah you know i mean i would. that's my wrath you would fight people. off of it. yeah you would your if someone's like.

there's plenty of room can i get out no. no. no please no i would be collecting like. like cokes and different things to. survive i'm in survival mode you're in. survival mode yeah. but what about then you see like a. chubby guy and you're like i could eat. this guy at some point. oh you got to eat something you know. what i would do no i would wait for him. to die first oh [ __ ] i would be on the. no i'd be on the wing right and i would. i am. i would i am keep your eye on that guy. yeah keep in mind. he's dead. and that would swim over to him right.

and then eat him. right. he's not getting on the [ __ ] round. you're not gonna let him on if it's a. hot chick. i'd let him on do you think you would. survive for real anything like that i. really do how long though a day two days. i know that i have probably a 24 hour. window and i'll die yeah one type of. thing one full day and i believe that if. the plane went down don't they have like. little beepers. is it like a black box or like a little. like well the black box records what's. going on. isn't there a thing like a raid or. something that they're they can locate i. don't figure this out.

all right so gps. yeah not gps right i'm pretty sure. they'll be like we lost. we lost the flight pattern. in this area right so we think you know. scientists or whatever they have right. yeah probably it'll be like you know. this is the general 30 mile radius. that we think the plane went down sure. right they would probably zip over with. their planes yeah right the little buddy. holly ones.

so they would probably zip right and i. would have. on my thing i would have help but small. written small help because it's on the i. don't have a lot of space where how are. you where are you going to sit are you. the h i'll probably use i'd probably use. yeah. i'll be with the h i think i could do a. p can i tell you something yeah you'd be. the you'd be the bubble of the pea. stomach right so i put. chestnuts if they're chestnuts no the.

would be the h-e-l i would be the p. right i'd have half of a dead uh fat man. can you imagine you to the side like. this and then with your stomach they're. like help. that beep down there help that's what i. would do i guess they don't need help. right and um. you would never survive and i'm and i. mean this genuinely okay let me ask you. this if you and i were you think you. would survive more than me a hundred. percent talked about these [ __ ]. pieces we're talking about this get this. get us on naked and [ __ ] afraid and.

i've guaranteed you always that really. pisses me off i'll last longer than you. did that's there's no way to know that. yeah there is just sheer athleticism and. grit and but it's my will to live. i have a will to live not when you're in. that kind of situation you don't i do i. do i do you know okay first of all yeah. i come from this kind of stock they. saved my son look up red-headed boy. found in woods they saved my son. literally two days ago it's been all. over the paper. and they found this boy they found this. boy little missing boy in montana the. first article first article go back look.

at the picture of this tell me this. isn't me. that is you that's my son that's your. son i found my son and where'd he where. was he he was lost in the woods in. montana we let that kid outside for five. minutes he [ __ ] disappeared how long. was he in the lost words for i think it. was like two days dude i think that. kid's dead dude. what's really weird about it he had a. bloody nose which i think is like how. did you get a bloody [ __ ] nose he. returned home safely go down return home. safely uh after spending two days. outdoors on his own in the [ __ ] woods. in montana. this kid's a soldier would i be able to.

do that no no way as a grown adult you. don't think i'd be able to do nope oh. yeah 100 percent. montana now i want to leave you in the. [ __ ] woods so bad do it. no because then they'll lose you no i. want to prove a point you'll never live. dude you'll die two days yep so fast. so fast you'll die it'd be a terrible. two days i'll tell you that you'd be. attacked by something immediately it'd. be a terrible two days can you imagine. [ __ ] like that. go find a person in the woods they had. drones it's not as hard as it used to be. just.

let me know are you saying that or do. they say that no i'm saying that because. i don't think you saw that they had. drones and atvs as well yeah but. okay i mean drones help. they got to help a little bit yeah yeah. yeah but also. like when gandalf was on the tower and. without that moth if he only had a moth. drone yeah that moth and then got the. eagle right that he would have never. escaped. i guess that was the drone of that world. yeah. [Laughter].

well let me tell you something yeah. thank you for being a bad friend. [Music]. [ __ ]. anyway [ __ ]. anything i swam with sharks and you. on the [ __ ] island. at least i went out and did something. and here was you filming a [ __ ]. and they put it on [ __ ] tv. all right why are you so angry dude you.

attacked me oh i'm sorry i was having. fun. [Music].