Slept King Returns and Rudy’s New Replacement | Ep 104 | Bad Friends w/ Khalyla

you two are bad friends you are these. two idiots. why dude i'm an asian dude. you two are disgusting. well you two or something we're bad. friends. didn't you drive together in the same. farm we did but. like um yeah that was i liked it what is. it like angelina jolie and um. oh no i was gonna say uh. what's his name why can't i think of the. dude's name bobby monahan yeah bobby boy.

no angelina jolie and bob billy bob. thornton. they dated but that's what you guys are. you guys are that's billy bob thornton. and your angelina jolie what would be. the difference. is that yeah but my dick is not as. crusty i feel like his dick is crusty no. he's a babe. but now. i think he's always been a babe ask. canadians we don't have any canadians. really bob thornton what he did in. canada what did he do. he had to like i would act.

what like in a good way like an [ __ ]. like an [ __ ] yeah like a big [ __ ]. no because what happened was you know. he's in a band right uh that i know we. talk about it in the show we talk about. the [ __ ] up man i just got out of rehab. i'm sorry you know what by the way that. was my congratulations on getting out of. rehab. you guys we have something for you bob. we've got a trophy. bobby lee kicking the habit 2022 a. little karate trophy for kicking the.

habit congratulations oh i see yeah so. this right here is weed that's drugs. yeah so weeds coming on egos. like that smoke me smoke and then i got. rid of uh porn too. old and young. mostly old more old than young or. whatever my fetish is older is for you. older for younger for younger yes and. the reason why i like that porn by the. way is because i identify with the old. man because i have such a bad self poor. image.

so when i would google poor i don't do. porn anymore baby all right baby. intimacy you are an old man too though. you identify because you're an old guy. you're an old guy i am you are you're an. old sweet man i just realized that huh. yeah you're old but why did when i went. to rehab though why did all the kids. follow me around. because you act like a child ah. right but bro yep i was a leader there. dude. well they they. are you sure because i have a voicemail. do you guys want to hear it yes yes this. is a voicemail of a leader.

let's hear also by the way let's let's. can we welcome the wonderful kalila to. the show thank you. for coming i i'm here begrudgingly. because the little one has covid i know. and you guys brought it so thank you for. bringing it welcome we don't have covet. she got tested she doesn't have it i. know she did i know. yeah. you know why why when i was in arizona. right they let me escape and go to the. mall right i'm double masked right yeah. and i almost got covered do you know why.

no tell me. a lot of people recognize me okay. let's play this voicemail to bring you. back down to earth. is this the is this the message of the. leader over here let's hear. great so awesome basically um. add dinner the food here is. terrible. oh my god um. it's like oz like fights breaking out. it's like. people stalking me it's terrible.

um. i might try to sleep tonight but. nothing's gonna happen bye. bro. you have no idea what i went through did. you hang that sounded like you he hung. up a prison phone right you know when. there was a pain. glass that was a pay phone do i get okay. first of all this is the first you. called me from this place the first.

place yeah i get there right um. they go you sleep there. yeah all right i put my pajamas on. yeah what are you talking about [ __ ]. pictures i get on my underwear. right. there's a man. laying next to me. like i could touch his skin. and he's probably 70 years old right. and he's. naked i think but i see one of his legs. is sticking out of the sheets okay and. you know how you white people have a lot. of varicose. i don't have any spider web veins i.

looked at your skin i'm walking i could. see a lot of veins in your body right. and he was doing this bro this is what. he was doing he was like he was going. every minute he was doing that right. yeah and i took two edibles. why. you [ __ ] idiots. because i don't want to be the first guy. to show up a treatment. sober sober right right irony of that is.

staggering isn't it funny everybody gets. [ __ ] up and then they go to treatment. they get as high as they can yeah yeah. and then i was at the airport i was you. know going crazy. right. nothing yeah. i was jerking off two guys yeah that is. juggling no i was like drinking it and. so i go there and. then i take all my [ __ ] and i go to the. lobby. right and i sleep in a chair like this. right cause you this guy's screaming all. night long but i can still hear him and. then. this little girl comes up to me she must. have been.

14. 15 years old. and she goes. i'm not gonna make it. no i swear to god and she just walks. away. right and i'm literally i have to be. here for a month i'm not i shouldn't. laugh but that is so [ __ ] creepy two. days later right yeah i literally see. i'm sleeping i see a little kid a. teenage kid getting dragged by his hair. across the hall and he's going i'm going. to stab you in the eyes with an ice pack. right. this is rehab.

it's a good one it's no. it's not good it's not good it feels. like and and to get out of there. right what did we have to do i had to. call the jews man. you had to call the jews yeah all of. them. so. you did i called jerusalem yeah you. called israel i got all the lawyers and. they got me out of there well how was it. was by legally binding they were gonna. make you stay they can't make you stay. anywhere but they wouldn't drive right. they wouldn't let me leave and then they. also wouldn't get me a ride but we have. to have some clarity you went to a.

different rehab people it's not like you. broke out of a rehab and came you went. to another rehab he went to initially a. 30-day inpatient oh right. where it's where it's like they [ __ ]. chain you in. yeah and then you're not allowed to make. phone calls. they take your phone. and your ipad. so what are you doing in the middle of. the night i'm trying to masturbate. through my memory. you can't jerk off with your mind no but. but but i my mind right is very clever. and i have a man imagination you do yeah.

so it's kind of like her like her tit. right one tip yeah his ass cheeks fancy. i love your ass shakes what part of me. they're so european and soft and very. good. right. pete's titties. his titties are so so there's three tits. you have one of those. kids here's the center tit both tits. petey says on the side right so sweaty. and nice right and beer comes out beer. comes out of his tits yeah yeah but. because i'm sober so i avoid it okay. yeah so this is beer only sucking yeah.

and i'm avoiding his [ __ ] yeah i'm. sorry i'm sober right. and then um. but i couldn't not. couldn't finish no in fact i i have um. 17 days of no porn. can you masturbate just to your mind. um i can it just takes a long time do. you have to use a toy. no i don't use any toys you guys don't. have any toys i have to look i don't use. any toys because i'm afraid to that i'll.

have to rely on it for the rest of my. life because those [ __ ] suckers these. days yeah are next level. you know we got one at the crib. [Music]. i just get so tired that this thing this. thing picks up the slack yeah but. yesterday i go can i eat your vagina and. then you said it's bloody. and i go i said i want to.

she wouldn't let me do you do it uh no. definitely not. seems like a bad day you just take a. break for a couple of days i know but i. just got a rehab so i'm like let me you. know right it's like pretty like when. you get out of prison yeah i had a fork. and i have the whole thing you know i. mean. i put a napkin. i was ready. anyway um it's good to be back it's. great that you're back we're happy that. um. and then i went to another place. and i couldn't sleep for how many days. well you called me i was in new york i. think you're on four three or four days. 96 hours i didn't sleep.

well that's so crazy so crazy. and you talked like a guy who hadn't. slept yeah and they thought i was gonna. have a psychotic break and then i went. to a mall. and then they said uh when you're gonna. have a psychotic break everybody at home. go to a mall no i had to go to build a. bear. right that's the place no no i had to no. i have to go to build a bear why. it's a part of the thing. so can i tell you about bildemar please. all right so. when you go to this place they go you. have to go to build-a-bear. at least sometime in your break is this.

rehab owned by build-a-bear no no no no. it's uh mcdonald's no i'm so uh. but you go to build-a-bear and you you. build your original child. oh i see right so you know your original. child when you're born. don't laugh this is real i know but. is uh what do babies need they need. to be held love love nurtured comfort. fuel safety food yeah. my dad played golf on my body.

yeah i mean. so um you built you you you build this. bear right. and remember the first one i built you a. couple years ago and you hold it like. it's your inner child you're mean. and um but because i had a psychotic. break right. i literally was had the baby in the mall. and i didn't know where i was. not only did not know where i was i. didn't know what city i was in i didn't. know if i was in the mall. yeah that's how [ __ ] tired i was you. were a guy walking around just with a. [ __ ] beard where am i it was [ __ ].

crazy it's called a fugue state fugue. state. so um do you know that's how you do do. you know that's what it was yeah the. fugue state and the one last thing i. want to say before you go into the. internet is this. i would like to have the renege. reneg i would like to renege. right. because last week i was very vulnerable. yeah. and i called you yeah. i think i cried you did. and.

i think i regret half of the things i. said really yeah a little bit it was. like the nicest call you've what did i. say i forgot you caught i was i was at a. farm in upstate new york. and you said. i just want to tell you that i love you. been no one's ever i'm doing i'm doing. it i'm not making fun of all right i'm. doing you said and no one's ever done. what you did and you're a real friend. and i love you. i'm dead serious and you would go back. into a normal voice and then you'd go oh. you don't understand.

i love you and then you hung up. and you called back. 20 minutes later and you said. i don't know man i don't know how much. of that stuff i mean. you did take it back yeah and then i. said why why would you do that and then. you say i don't know i'm kidding i'm get. okay i gotta go i gotta go okay you know. what so you meant some of it no you know. what you're right i wanna say it here. okay i'm gonna say it here okay. don't roll your eyes well i know what's. coming no you do yeah okay but go ahead.

no but i want to hear it i'm sorry go. ahead. you know i've been in this business for. ever. gonna start over please. i've been in this business forever. right. and um. you know in the beginning of my career i. just met just terrible people yeah i. mean name them. just open micros like zoo man and wally. wong and these guys you know i mean ali. wong wally wong oh oh you don't know. so anyway um and then i came to l.a it.

was [ __ ] terrible. and i spent many many years just meeting. terrible people. comics. but every once in a while you'll meet. somebody that. just you'll it'll just spark your heart. and you're one of those guys i when i. saw you it was like. it was almost as if i saw somebody that. i knew my whole life. like it was that easy that comfortable. and. during. my dark times in my life you've been. there. 100 you call me.

three in the morning you always call me. back right you're always checking up on. me. and i honestly. and i you know i refound my god. like i lost god but you found god again. i found god again and i prayed to god. last week and i said thank you. for putting. brian i mean andrew sent you though. i was waiting sorry no i was say thank. you for putting ander centino in my life. and um.

yeah i'm just really blessed i love you. thank you say something now. about me. well bob. feels good i love it i'm happy that you. are. i'm happy that you are. found god and redefining what you want. in life. because you were a little lost. and i think you're more centered now and. talking on the phone seemed. like you were really figuring out what. you needed. and i love you and you know you mean the.

world to me feels good. but i've said that to you all the whole. time yeah. i do love me though i love you very very. much okay and i was i was very concerned. when i when. sher and i talked. about you coming to mexico and i talked. with these guys you know next week. next time i get out of rehab don't bring. an audience. no no these are these people are all in. rehab as well oh is that what it is this. is all oh they need help the uh yeah. they all need okay okay.

over the hotel that's right that's right. and it was a night and then we said at. dinner fancy was like. no one's gonna have a drink because we. didn't want to have a drink around you. and who's the first person that ordered. a drink. bobby bobby yeah bobby. yeah no not for me the longest two hours. of my life what huh the longest two.

hours it was fancy was quivering the. whole time he was like. so nervous and scared and you know i was. so manipulative i mean the things i was. saying to george was so crazy it was. [ __ ] up it was [ __ ] up yeah. the airport what's that how'd you get. him to the airport because i knew that. he woke up in his own vomit yes we. i got to tell you something what shout. out to. the [ __ ] jfl people for actually. getting you. into a car. because you were not functioning.

you were so out of it. and it was just so [ __ ] up and they. did a good job controlling you you came. to the door with poop on your hand in. front of me do you know that. i'm so sorry that's okay it was a little. shocking well you don't knock on my door. when i'm pooping how would i know. that's true you're not continuing to. send me a text right. i'm just saying try to like how about. this try to know when you poop no not. don't knock on my door then don't come. say hi yeah. you got it no why did you text me first. are you pooping oh that's the first test.

i should say right right and i go. yeah then wait five minutes i'll give it. a go but i shouldn't even if i'm pooping. i shouldn't have wiped my ass and then. brought it to the what do you think is. he do you think he should wipe his ass. and bring it to the door. i'm looking for a third party opinion. because i guess mine is wrong i think. like sober or um not sober he's to bring. poop to the door to the door. he really isn't a poop no can i say. something right now. i'm surprised you don't let me [ __ ] on. your chest do you never want her to do.

something like that [ __ ] on my chest he. wants he constantly wants to smell my. [ __ ] i want to shoot her i like smell. the smell of [ __ ] wait time but you. smell what what though. the in the toilet no no i like the smell. of like wet ass we're back baby. the whole like when the hole is wet. right not poo. right it's like um like out of the pool. out of the shower how about this how. about this yeah you know how you open up. a magazine. and sometimes they have like a cologne. or perfume that you just kind of. write yeah that magnitude of poo it's.

not a big pile of poo it's just. right and i go hmm interesting elephant. poo i you know i mean i do this it's a. light you know it's not a gigantic this. should be good when it dries. yeah yeah yeah yeah i understand yeah so. um. but um i don't want a piece of [ __ ] on. my chest let's try what. [Laughter]. you want to try to [ __ ] on my chest yeah. i do what's the what's that what's the. one where there's a piece of glass.

between you. is that i like that is that a hot carl. what is that i thought no i thought the. hot carl was just bare chest [ __ ] on. barry okay that's how carl there is one. there's a piece of glass in between you. pete you've got to know what this is. that's just like a version of a dental. glass bottom boat. oh it's called a glass bottom boat. because you can see all the coral right. that's exactly right see it says. typically a coffee table which is true. i've heard that it's called you guys. have a glass coffee table at the house. yeah we do i think. i have one in the garage i can actually.

lend also we have a little money we can. buy one well let's buy you a a glass. bottom boat so what happens i go i'm. underneath a table like this. well here's the deal you're supposed to. like hug it so the glass is flush with. your chest because you need to feel the. heat that radiates through the glass. that's the whole point because if you're. just underneath it who cares right. of the poo you want to feel it without. the dirtiness so this is like entry. level glass bottom boat is like stage. one of what she wants to end up doing. so let's say you love it then you go. well let's now let's switch it to like.

plexiglas i mean you start to slowly get. away from then on to saran wrap saran. wrap right right and then after saran. wrap the real thing the real deal so you. build to poo right you don't need to go. there right away that's yeah you know i. understand your hesitancy but you know. like i was watching the the bill cosby. documentary. what a comic. just hear me out it has nothing to do. with you know i mean that should have. been the name of his documentary. hear me out. i can explain. can you.

so what so um but in the beginning of. the when he started his career he was. just a bartender right right and then a. year later he was on tv so unbelievable. how fast so fast right so i'm going to. go straight to pool. oh you want yeah i don't need to go to. open mic. right that's what it is saran wrap the. glass that's open mic you're selling out. around i'm going to go pro okay i'm. going to go madison square garden i'm. gonna go dan cook you [ __ ] in my face. yeah yeah yeah [ __ ] in my mouth i'll do. it yeah no you don't want in your mouth. buddy why because no way the germans do.

it oh yeah shaiza i really like. two girls one cop. you know let's revisit it. [Laughter]. the world is great by the way i watched. the tinder swindler and i got to tell. you. full support of this guy what is his. name simon levi i love this guy. hey did you watch it. i i called i texted my brother and i go. i think i'm i have a new aaa sponsor. i mean i'm gonna call him in israel and. go can you sponsor me this guy's. thinking this guy is the king you loved.

it didn't you. i loved it i also was just. immediately as soon as i saw the type of. women he was after i'm like. i see you i see you dog look let me tell. you something did he scam a lot of. people. yeah ten million dollars. yeah. is it. is it. super funny. it's so funny and also is it clever. fairy and well thought out very that's. all i'm saying i think he's a bad guy.

bad guy but he's very good at like. planning at being a bad guy a bad guy. yeah yeah we like bad guys and i'm not. blaming the victims no never blame the. victims andreas right. but. if kolila was in. germany. and she calls me she goes oh my. bodyguard got beat up and. my credit cards aren't working you know. i mean can you wire me i have no data. for 10 years you mean 300 i'd be like. good luck bye. bye. 50 grand yeah you can get that money.

babe on your own okay i'm not doing it. not doing it i'm not doing it so. some it's you know they made some bad. choices the victims. [Laughter]. you're right they're victims and they. were. manipulated. right i feel bad for the women but i. also think do you. no. i do i feel bad no of course yeah it's. so terrible it's awful so man it was so. amazing he was able to do it the the.

part that i started to really go yucky. yuck was when he makes threats to them. and all that stuff then i'm like no. before that it was just a good scam. i like me a good scam but i but then. when he was threatening to them then. you're like no this isn't this is gross. this is disgusting now you're. now it's too much but when you just went. hey can i borrow pete. how funny would it be to scam pete out. of 50 grand. ruin his life. wouldn't that be so funny i have a. family i have two kids yeah yeah oh my. god kids it makes even fun that would be. pretty funny yeah.

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find designs like that on any of those. underwears no none of the underwears. have cool designs like that and my. favorite thing about it i'm being. serious is that it stays soft even when. you wash a lot and we know you need to. wash your underwear more than normal. people yeah. i know. and that's why the undies has the. softest undies browlets loungewear and. more that are made just to fit right. that's exactly right we both wear them. sometimes bob and i match on the show uh. and meonis believes that comfort is. about more than just what's touching. your skin it's about feeling comfortable. in your skin we got comfort starting at.

uh finding the perfect fit and size for. you which is why me undies uh wear tests. on all sizes to extra small to 4xl. everything they make they got it all. baby they also offer different cuts for. different butts in bold colors to fun. and adventurous prints me unders wants. you to find comfort in your size so the. world can be. a. happier and comfier place for everybody. you better believe it me on these. promises if you're not comfortable with. any product for any reason you can. return your order for a full refund. within 45 days me undies has a great.

offer for our listeners for any. first-time purchasers you get 15 off and. free shipping right to your door to get. 50 of your first order free shipping and. 100 percent satisfaction guarantee go to. meondys.com. have you been tricked out of money not. money but love oh that that hurts his. handle on myspace was amarcito888. and he was who i thought was an adonis. that lived in australia but i think he.

was a short indian man with like eight. kids. that's what the 888 was yeah. yeah that's my number of children that's. so funny to think. that i just. it's funny to get. tricked out of love because i feel like. guys get tricked out of money. more than love that's why i. that's why the tinder swindler i was. like he won for the good guys it went. for the bad guys. but also [ __ ] because here's the. problem with the whole thing for me. each of these women.

said they fell in love with this guy. some of them knew him for like a [ __ ]. week right. and you really you fell in love with the. idea that you were going to be. swi whisked away on private jets and i. would fall in love with that guy but you. gotta have some sort of. foresight of like oh this seems a little. i don't know. it's fairytale-ish and that if it's too. good to be true it is he chose wisely he. was very smart he was i know they're all. swedish girls or danish girls. what does this really say about but he.

this guy doesn't have. how. let's be real for a second he's a bad. guy. this guy has to live with life right. yeah. without any empathy yeah he's without. any real emotional connection to other. human beings right and to be able to. lock eyes with somebody and go hey man. how are you feeling you know what i mean. and let me help you. right like when i went to the last. treatment center i was at this is what. saved me and this is a real story that's. not funny okay okay. this old man right who is a therapist.

from the 60s that he's still he it's his. practice this facility i'm at he rarely. comes in but he decided to come in for. two hours to see me to do a session. right i'm sitting there talking to the. man and he starts this is not funny but. he goes he was talking about his great. great grandkids. wow i need how he when. he goes to uh l.a santa monica and he. sees his great. grandkids play soccer and their coach is. like very mindful and he teaches them.

about positivity and you know what i. mean and and he starts weeping this old. man while he's telling us telling the. story and literally he locks eyes with. me. and i started weeping. with him right. and. we cried for like three minutes together. this old man just about kids playing. soccer no about it's about me. me connecting with him and feeling his. joy and his gratitude right and it's in. that moment where i found god and i know. there's going to be a joke coming right. i'm i'm right.

but what i'm saying what i'm saying is. that that dude right there can't connect. with people in that way yeah he's crazy. i know but that's so in at the end of. the [ __ ] day this guy's gonna die. alone. miserable and rich and very rich. do you understand my point though 100. right of course i dude i'm right this. guy this guy so when i was watching this.

[ __ ] document i was just kind of. going he's free in israel he can't go. anywhere else he can't go to europe. again. well did he just make a fake password. didn't you do that like ten times i know. but. really he kept doing it the whole film. yeah but he now i think they they're on. to him how i feel there's a [ __ ]. movie about him now dude they did they. also he's suing netflix i think is what. he said they did they gave him 16 months. he did like four or five he [ __ ] they. don't give a [ __ ] it's because he's also. wise about the amount that he's.

swindling it's not it's not. billions of dollars and it's not. millions and millions of dollars so it's. sort of like yeah he's he's gonna serve. what 48 months. max but that's a small price to pay for. him he can just resume activity after. see i think they said in total he might. have uh. acquired 10 million over the course of. all of his scamming not just from women. from other stuff. i kind of hand it to you that's. pretty great he can't but he used like. he would take advantage of one woman.

right. they would give him 300 grand whatever. he would use that to finance another. right why can't you take that just. bamboozle one woman invest it invest. that [ __ ] money yeah i thought about. that the whole time me too but that's. logic he loves the the gambling he loves. the ponzi of it all of it's like i'm. gonna use you to take her out and i'm. gonna use her to get another hot chick. to be my friend remember he did that. with another girl he just befriended hot. girls with cool hot girls so that made. another girl go this guy's gotta be cool. he's friends with hot cool girls but. but he has to ass. my argument is this i'm sorry yeah yeah.

he has to realize that you know some. marks might not work out. i think a lot of them don't for him. right but let's suppose because it. didn't remember like he got to the point. where he had to live in that [ __ ] uh. what it was a hostile hostel yeah and. he's begging for money yeah he's just. made that's how desperate was he but. look you can go on his instagram fans. he's back at it again he's like got a. new benz he's got a new watch he's got a. new group of hot blonde girls so my. point is. it's gonna continue even these women. that have seen this they don't care.

they just still they're like [ __ ] it i. still get to go to private jet with some. other [ __ ] money. people are still doing it look up his. instagram he's out there it's like when. women like serial killers in prison. exactly why do you guys like that why do. you like that you get the good sex. without the stalking. you get the good desperate oh my god. like. a man is so just. wasted. in in a prison right yes there's so much.

just pent up down there just. testosterone and then you are just the. peak of his existence at that point. right so a conjugal visit the idea of a. conjugal visit with a man. where i know i am just the peak of his. existence he's gonna [ __ ] me with all of. his might and he won't be able to stalk. me or call me or contact me wow wow. but also okay but okay here's a guy. who's a killer not this guy let's just. say there's a guy that's like he's a. murderer stone cold murderer then he.

says he found god in prison a lot of. them do. and he says i would never hurt you do. you buy this. you buy this i just want you to come see. me i know my record says i choked out. and killed four women but i would never. do this to you do you buy this not a. chance no but some people there's women. that do. yeah and they go back and they're like. he would never hurt me you guys don't. read the letters he writes me. because women are say it with me. [Music]. i didn't mean that no women are.

beautiful. you guys would never do conjugal visit. with a woman in prison honestly you you. no but if you were in prison no it has. to be and it can't be her because that. doesn't make sense of course you would. with her you [ __ ] love her okay what. about this your mom your mom. what is this what does it say what does. this post say. no caption. this guy's the goat. he's just on a [ __ ] boat no captions.

on all these. what does that say memories. you know who was you know you know who. he is huh andrew schultz. that's the same. i can see schultz doing this look at. that top or nothing. this guy's the best dude wait wait wait. wait wait what a psycho what does top or. nothing mean it's a drop down he's in a. drop top car. oh but it also doesn't make sense yeah. doesn't make any top or nothing. i love this guy he's fascinating. love it what does that say back at home.

just rubbing it in i don't know i don't. i would never would i don't know would. you conjugal visit a woman that was in. jail say but you don't know her you've. never met her you read about her in the. news this is what happens with women. they read about the guy in the news they. start writing him letters i i had. fantasy about eileen warrenos. she's like a. imaginary fantasies about. like visiting like a dick by eileen. in prison i don't know who that is she. was they did a monster. yeah i had i had fantasies about her. right. really yeah like looking like that yeah.

but my fantasy was i i was in the prison. cell next to hers look at that one two. three right back to that i was in the. prison center next to her. and i dug a little hole so oh so it was. like a glory hole yeah gloria i i stuck. my penis in but in one of them i fantasy. she bit it off. you ever tried to cut it off with that. one too yeah. that's the face she makes after she bit. it whoops. yeah you know what you know what's such. a mean thought that i got when you just. said a glory hole thing i wonder like. you've ever seen a glory hole live at a. truck stop.

have you ever seen one have you ever. seen one no i've seen them at the truck. stops i've actually seen a glorious goal. and at first you think this is some. teenager did and then you think no this. is this happens out here yeah and then i. looked at it just in my mind's eye when. you just said glory hole yeah and. sometimes the thickness of those stall. doors is big yeah do you think you do do. you think yours would so what you're. saying to me like just your little head. would poke out what you're saying to me. right now is. if i did a glorious haul getting me in a. [ __ ] stall right how big it how deep. my take is a lot long so what you're. saying it's it's not gonna reach enough.

so that there's that she could suck it. yeah but can she stick her tongue in the. hole yeah just a little just. just lick it but yeah. [ __ ] you dude imagine how hard you push. against my erection good have you not. seen him fully hard no i have seen him. i've seen him i've seen him just after. he was hard you know it's like the post. post game and what did you think it was. it's you know what it's i've said this. to him before over all the years. since when we first met at the comedy. store and he put his penis on my arm and. all that stuff when i was in the booth. which you did.

penis out on my arm. i his jokes about his penis being small. it's all good and fun but it's so. regular it's not thank you it's not. small it's a very normal penis thank you. but you're a grower not a shower that's. a fact. because there's days for sure when it. needs to grow okay because it does that. thing in mexico when your penis was out. it did that thing where it tucks away. you know how it like turtle bathes. itself. it tucks away. and it puts the balls up to its cheek.

it does tuck away when you see him. around the house what is the time when. it's at its smallest. stop talking about. is it first thing in the morning a penis. no this is fun. he's been shy about showing me his penis. lately bob i haven't seen it in a while. you don't walk around naked honestly it. just got out of rehab man yeah i need. some time no it's just like all jonesed. out you know what i mean. yeah yeah he's detoxing bro you know but. dick on this episode of detox dick do. you walk around naked did you see the.

ricky gervais special where he talks. about. the so there was a glory two guys. right. went to a glory hall. and one guy stuck his penis out. got his came in a random man's mouth. when they walked out together it was a. father and a son. okay right. so if you did a glory hole. right and you get your dick sucked and. you walked out it was your dad. right what would you do. would you hug him dad or would you be. like [ __ ] the [ __ ] or.

would i hug him. is that your first dad. whenever yeah. i don't know it's your dad i wouldn't. say a word i would just oh you would oh. so let's let's both walk out i want to. see what you would do okay so i'm. walking out right. wait wait am i the sucky or sucker i. just you you sucked it. and you're the down to sun okay right so. i'm zipping up that was the best [ __ ]. [ __ ] i've ever gotten that was. amazing. he [ __ ] did sack work.

he did sack work. i walk out. i dad i would say dad. what if you gave me a kiss. [Laughter]. oh that'd be so good. yeah that i do that would ruin the. family right okay what about this okay. what if you saw. you know i love these scenarios well. yeah like what okay all right what what. what if you're at like a a butt plug. convention. and they're like you know try out some.

of the newest butt plugs the newest anal. beads right and and they're like dude. you someone comes dude you gotta see. this guy he's got 40 [ __ ] beads in. his ass and they get bigger as they go. and if you said that to me i'd be like. where we gotta go we gotta go and you're. like they're pulling out now it's like a. [ __ ] chainsaw right and there's a. dude like a you're pulling up. such a big crowd we have to get in. excuse me excuse me excuse me. and everyone's screaming more more more. more more you can't believe it right and.

then this guy gets up and it's your. father oh. dad. i would be like you know what i would do. huh honestly i would so i'd be in the. front of the crowd right. i would slowly just. backwards. the homer simpson yeah absoria would. absorb me back right and i'd probably. walk that'll be the loneliest parking. lot walk into your car because. everyone's going to come up to you did. you see the anal bead guys yeah it was. amazing what i would do i would kick. something just kick it.

just like a tin can just one loose anal. bead that fell off a rope you just kick. it down there right. what if you saw your family at a sex. convention type of thing i think i'd. feel. pride yeah yeah my family are freaks oh. they're just a bunch of freaks freak. freaks they're free so you were never as. you're as a kid your family was never. shy about any of that stuff no they were. open. yeah my aunties would just openly talk. about sex like pinch each other's. nipples talk about the men they swindled. what did you just say about.

wait have they have you ever seen a. family member hooking up in front of you. um. is that not traumatic so i saw a family. member cheating on my uncle yeah. and. just openly for like weeks at a time and. she was like [ __ ] this dude you watch. them hook up yeah i would hear them. [ __ ] or whatever and when my uncle. came back from hong kong and i was like. uncle freddie do you know that so-and-so. is [ __ ] jerry and it backfired he.

cussed me out he's like look at your. [ __ ] business what she does yeah. what the [ __ ] i thought i was being you. know like a hero he just didn't want to. hear it you just get the [ __ ] away that. [ __ ] because i think that it hurt. his pride that a little kid was telling. him what it was doing i was eight oh. yeah a little kid a little kid saying. that's tough. calling it out is tough because then he. knows it's real because kids don't. [ __ ] lie yeah kids are gonna say the. r he's like he was loving it it was. [ __ ] he was smashing her to pieces.

it's like kids just they go all the. details they can't not tell you the. truth. i almost witnessed my parents [ __ ]. i was so i would sneak out of my room i. just got the i just like shook my i have. goose bumps. but don't you guys like the idea yeah. but i like the idea of my parents being. like. dumb and full of calm yeah yeah yeah. [ __ ] machines yeah yeah. well you don't my parents look like. mythological creatures.

yoda and [ __ ] gollum [ __ ] yeah. so i would sneak out of my room and. watch like late i would hope to like. watch the tonight show or letterman to. see if there was stand-ups on yeah in. high school right yeah so one night it. was me 16 maybe and i was uh watching. and then i could hear my parents walk. down the hallway right so i turned the. tv off and it jumped behind the couch. then my parents put in a korean video. like a vhs tape right of some weird like.

korean porn it was all fuzzy and stuff. and they're like my daddy. [Laughter]. i was watching stand up and my dad got. so [ __ ] mad man does he have a boner. no he beat me with a boner yeah. imagine your dad hard as [ __ ] just. beating the [ __ ] out of you but i i had.

to i had i couldn't do it i've only. heard it once your parents [ __ ] yeah. nick [ __ ] me i hated it i was gonna go. down i was up i got up late and i was. gonna go downstairs to go get something. to drink. and as i walked past the door it was no. what a year traumatic. you know what the worst part was i heard. him not her what'd you hear like i. couldn't hear my mom that's the worst. when you can hear the dude over the girl. women i'm not saying women face is. buried in a pillow dude. well she was probably. no but it's so [ __ ] up to hear to hear. your parents hooking up because.

i just i you want to hear a woman when. you hear someone hooking up you want to. hear a girl you want to hear yeah yeah. you don't want to hear someone huh even. your mama no it doesn't matter i'm just. saying the idea of sex i don't want to. hear it at all but the idea of sex in. your mind is like. the woman should be the one i hear so. what did your dad hear what'd you hear. it was that it was like yeah oh i was. like oh no try not to traumatize me i. just went downstairs and i ate. everything in the [ __ ] cabinet. eating i was like what is it. you know what i was thinking about why.

do we always talk about poo. sex glory holes. tell me something else to talk about ooh. do you want to hear what new role play. is going on at home yes. so our new role play is that i'm a gold. star lesbian and he's a gold star gay. guy what's gold star like we've never. been with um the opposite side right. and um we um i don't know we're not. getting laid. i don't know what you're doing cut his.

mic off. we're both in college but we're not. getting laid but we're best friends. so we're having really just like it's in. the conversation let her do it. [Laughter]. so he's a gay guy i'm a gold star. lesbian but we're best friends we're not. getting laid lately and we're just in. the dorm and we're just like i guess. we'll have sex so we're having very. disinterested yeah it's like no passion. sex and you're like i guess i gotta do. this it's gonna disgust me. you say that oh yeah well he's a lesbian. i'm the gay guy right yeah yeah.

why did i think about it the other way. why why did i think you know i'm the. girl yes i know i can't believe i even. jumped to the other conclusion yeah and. i've never had anything like like aside. from fingers you're the lesbian right. yeah that's not the lesbian voice that's. my character choice i've never had. anything but fingers tired of other. actors you're me telling me how to do. choose my [ __ ] some of your choices. aren't good. all right but the [ __ ] director let. me hear your gay guy voice ew [ __ ]. yeah yeah which is that's the only thing.

i've ever heard those guys say you know. kalila i just don't talk to people. here's the thing okay. you and i we share so much have you. heard about brandon. what. what is brandon virgin brandon is that. your little character virgin brandon. yeah he's a virgin brand is brandon in. there sit down get up to the microphone. is brandon in there where's little. brandon. you know andrew i travel a lot and. whenever i go on the road i only use. doordash because they have the most the. best restaurants always they're quickest.

and the other they're the best behaved. dude they got everything you can you. want in 30 minutes yeah okay. deodorant yeah. yep morning pick me up from dunkin. donuts check get everything you need. whenever you need it with doordash. that's right you want chinese yeah yep. or korean yup yup you want pizza. bonjourno. someone is creating froyo there's. something for everybody at doordash the. best part about doordash is they connect. you with restaurants you love right to. your front door they got 300 000. partners in u.s puerto rico canada. australia support your local. neighborhood go-to's or choose from your.

favorite national restaurants like. popeye's chipotle cheesecake factory. limited time only our listeners get 25. off and zero delivery fees on their. first order of 15 or more when you. download the doordash app and enter the. code bad friends 2022. that's 25 of up. to a 10 value and zero delivery fees on. your first order when you download the. dash app in the app store and enter the. code bad friends 2022. don't forget. that's that is bad friends 22 and 22 for. 25 off your first order with doordash. subjects have changed terms apply roman.

andrew i'm getting old and my pp don't. work so good not so good and that's why. i go to roman roman is the best hey look. millions of people suffer from erectile. dysfunction it's extremely common and i. got to tell you something all you need. to do is go to getroman.com bad friends. now you can speak to a u.s licensed. healthcare professional about erectile. dysfunction and get 15 off your first. month of treatment it's so easy all. right 80 is more common than most people. think in fact 20 52 of men between the. ages of 40 and 70 will experience some.

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right there yeah she makes she makes me. suck on her breasts she does. it makes me. feel funny you don't like it do you. brand you like it you do yeah. and then. he cries oh your peepee cries but you. don't cry do you. if i cry because i'm so happy yeah bran. anyway on where is she she's right there. yeah but what we do we do not do that. kind of.

this is brandon. talking to andrew it's not what he would. react when he's with you. i'm appalled. virgin brandon is a 29 year old incel. who's so thankful for the fact that i'm. writing him. backwards oh that's brandon that's. brandon i was playing timmy sorry you're. playing. reverse cowgirl so no fate no not.

looking at you no no no i don't want to. see um yeah i don't you don't want to. see it but you know when she goes off. whenever i whenever i'm like i've never. done this before right she's like yeah. we'll just lay there let me do all the. work and when she's when it enters right. my character. acts as if. jesus himself. like it feels so good. he just keeps saying thank you thank you. so much thank you so much and she comes. so fast.

she comes so fast you don't say that. what do you say to him you don't say. [ __ ] huh you're not saying anything a. little brandon no no shut the [ __ ] up. little brandon yeah. see he likes it i do. yeah. but um who do you think of the bad. friends family has the weirdest uh. the most uh. surprising sex stuff now pete pete pete. is just a he's a. good-hearted bear. see that's why i think he's just i think. he's a [ __ ] freak because of that. because you don't right hey dude do you. power [ __ ] or what.

sometimes yeah oh [ __ ] yeah yeah. yeah what about fancy you think it's a. bit you think it's. fancy vanilla here's what i think about. fancy yeah here's jen have you guys ever. seen you know the porn star small hands. yeah yeah does this one thing there's. one move he does that absolutely drives. me wild and i swear to god when i look. at andres i'm like this is what he does. yeah he tears he doesn't tear he doesn't. ever take the panties off right he rips. the [ __ ] part of the panty and he.

creates a hole. wow this is the wrong day to bring my. students here no this is a great day. yeah they're all in college yeah they're. doing all this [ __ ] up [ __ ]. he rips it so he's a ripper he's a. ripper yeah look at little ripper he has. never taken a penny off in his life he. rips it he doesn't know how but he rips. it carefully because he's going to sew. it back up because he wants to save the. underwear. right he does it carefully right so then. later after she's naked after he comes. right yeah he's just in the corner of. the room just sewing it back up.

yeah speaking of victoria's secret. i don't know if we should talk about it. because we might no no i already know. what you're saying and we can't talk. about it but let's try no i'll tell you. why we can't talk about it because we. can try i know are you let me prove to. our audience that we're not just sex and. poo and grow stuff we can talk about. something adult and not be mean or. [ __ ] up all right but can i just say. this right we will talk about it. but um before we talk about it. when i first saw the first photo i saw.

right how did you feel. maybe we shouldn't talk about it. i need you to talk about it i am in the. dark about this i don't know what's. happening all right so let's let's say. it so we all know uh yeah so victoria's. secret hired their first down syndrome. uh underwear model okay okay so uh get. to get the first picture pete [ __ ]. pete yeah the second one zoom that out. or i mean make it big so we can all look. at it.

okay. i'm being honest and i'm not being mean. i'm just saying the first thought was. amazing tits i mean. holy [ __ ] she have amazing perfect tits. beats nodding. and then the second thought was. she's [ __ ] beautiful but the weird. thing is they make you feel weird. because they put it out they don't make. you feel weird no no i'm saying the. headline the articles the articles are. like uh down syndrome underwear model. shows all and i think you're on to. something they're baiting you they are. baiting you if they were to just put it.

out there ask this girl without. announcing it yeah that's the way to do. it if i saw that right i would be like. oh. yes. i'd be like oh she's hot she's hot yeah. but they're doing this bait thing where. they go oh you oh you liked her yeah oh. she has down syndrome how do you feel. now and you're like well i did that. wasn't i you now you make me feel like. bad about even thinking about it and. that's [ __ ] up and also can i say this. if i saw that i went oh wow beautiful. you know i joke after it right i calm. right sure and then later i read you.

know man she has down syndrome i'm not. gonna put the [ __ ] back into my penis oh. so i wouldn't feel bad about it why. would i i don't understand so i i know. why they're doing it they're saying hey. this is the first time it's happened. this should have happened before. inclusion great great but also. this is a tough thing to talk about man. i don't know why you would bring this. off it's such a it's like when i saw it. because it's interesting as [ __ ] yeah. can we talk about camilla. what camilla the russian skater oh who. she [ __ ] got caught cheating and then.

she fell every time and then she fell on. all her routines yeah don't you think. they made her fall i couldn't stop. thinking about that she fell on every. and you know what what's his name said. what johnny weir goes that's the worst. i've ever seen her skate in didn't she. land like five quads just before that. yes so why would she fall so much. because she's 15 no no bobby because she. was. in she was so [ __ ] up in her head. about what had happened to her that's. what i'm saying she's 15 the pressures. it's not pressure. first of all she feels terrible that.

it's that it's over i think she's like. this is over i'm [ __ ] no she did let's. just hear me out okay don't get angry. okay all right not gonna not gonna she's. 15 years old right she's. skating for the roc right the reason why. they're called the rc is why because. they cheated they cheated before right. in sochi or whatever right. so. now she has a drug test that says. positive right the the olympics in. itself is pressure because she's like. one of the best ones she's expected to. get goals she's the best she's the best.

yeah right and then um. she's like that little ching chung that. won for us. nathan chen. that nathan ching chung chan that it was. his that's his big nickname by the way. yeah ching chong i think you're in love. with him. you do love him i love him so much bring. up a picture of this beautiful nathan. chen. is so [ __ ] talented is his middle. name for real yeah well that's my. nickname. this guy is this guy. [ __ ] oh my god. i just made you [ __ ].

you just came look at your penis yeah. yeah look at how big your penis is now. this dude right here is [ __ ] a. prodigy he's the man he is the man but. he's a boy right how old is this guy. he's a boy what the [ __ ] how old is he. he's 20. that's so funny they're so. young but they're so unbelievably. talented what did you think you're gonna. do a racial joke what well he's asian so. he looks younger oh something i know i. mean you guys all look amazingly young. for your age thank you not you. look at him right there god look at that. oh look at that why do they take those. pictures and why do they publish them.

why do we need to see that. he's such a he's such a handsome dude. they didn't need to put that one out. there yeah you know what the [ __ ] are. you doing wire image you couldn't this. couldn't be one that you tossed. like during the kill session everybody. knows when you get photos there's a kill. session why did this go what if it's a. beginning photographer. and he's his first time right he's so. nervous. right and then he that's the only good. one that they got right and they're like. i guess [ __ ] man. uh yeah super talented what do you think.

about eileen goo eileen goo eileen goo. she's the girl that wrote for china but. she's american what do you think about. that. i don't know well you got to have an. opinion she's born and raised here i. don't want to raise it. from the bay area snowboarder she's from. look at her gorgeous beautiful she's a. model she's so [ __ ] talented she's. beautiful she rides for china because. her mother is chi mom is chinese nominee. mom is chinese but she's born and raised. in america and she rides for china. there's a lot of controversy you when. you mix asian sometimes with white white.

is great white is right look what it did. bless you white is right look what it. did. white is right look what it did and when. you're when you're a purebred like you. not a sagud. we need a little bit of mixing i think. chen is hot this the point i'm making is. racial mixing is [ __ ] great i'm being. positive i'm pro-racial mixing so eileen. goo snowboarder phenomenal but she's. writing for china bob but chyna. and her both won't answer her.

citizenship because you cannot have dual. citizenship for china she'd have to. relinquish her american citizenship. legally. and then become a chinese resident and. her quote was pretty political she said. something to the effect of when i'm in. china i'm chinese when i'm in america. when i'm in america i'm an american but. i i identify with both nationalities. because of my my background. i think. give it a try you trained in america. yeah you used our facilities.

yeah and now you're gonna write for the. chinese oh yeah yeah it's [ __ ] up yeah. you can't train here okay did she get. into the american team she probably. didn't and she was like i'll go to the. channel wrong she's the best she can get. better than troy the the the korean girl. different event this is skiing this is. um oh this is snowboarding no no no no. no no no no no no no no no no no no no. no no no no no no no no no no no no no. no no no no no no no no no no no no no. no no no no no no no no no no no no no. no no no no no no no no no no no no no. no no no no no no no no no no no no no. elena i mean she's skiing yeah chloe kim. is a snowboarder right but but. who got her into skiing her immigrant. chinese her immigrant chinese mom.

who moved to america. to give her a good life yeah and they. grew up in the bay area and then she. trained in i think it was in tahoe tahoe. and then. guess what what you're a married. yeah yeah you can't do right for i just. think it's not right i think that's not. fair because then you can say that about. [ __ ]. i can say i identify if i spent every. summer in ireland and my grandfather be. like oh i'm irish she's like wow well i. honestly i have fantasies about i really.

have fantasies about this about eileen. goo no about me being an athlete in the. olympics what would you play oh no high. trump. yeah can you imagine i could watching. you in a long distance. that i could high jump with the pole. better than you can. my bank account my literal bank account. how much oh all of it all of it. literally all of it 100. no let's make.

the pole this you holding the pole. you get a telephone pole yeah find a. facility not now but i have a fantasy of. being a high jumper right and i trained. in america and then korea is like. we don't have. anybody to do that. right and you're the guy and me going on. the phone what the [ __ ] you say speak. english dude or whatever you don't mean. an [ __ ] yeah and then i'd be like i.

will join you i think i would [ __ ]. high jump for korea you would yeah i. love being who i am. and i love the korean you're a san diego. boy. yeah you're a little san diego [ __ ] boy. you're brandon. you're a little brandon. there he is scared you are scared who's. that girl over there. keep going yeah what is your character. name when he's brandon do you have one i. think i'm like adult susan or something.

like that susan or no it's always a last. name like mrs gibson. oh miss gibson new mississippi oh she's. married. and what about mr gibson what's he up to. he's watching. oh yeah don't stop now. what do we think fancy fantasy is. because he won't tell us. you would say was he korean. no i could not even i said honey honey. yamaha you said that like that honey i'm. home. that's him okay honey.

yeah right and she's like uh what'd she. say i don't even know what his wife's oh. she's beautiful by the way she's. gorgeous she sounds like this first of. all can i say something. when i saw his wife. i swear to god. i did. not believe it. yeah. i did not it was like what do you think. it is with fancy that she likes so much. it's not those shirts. it's definitely the shirts. you think it is yeah by the way. translucent skin.

we don't say translucent oh so sorry. about that. and the thing about fancy is that he. brought his students to the show today. yeah. and they. used to. seriously respect him. right he's their [ __ ] teacher and now. can i can we bring one student to stand. here i need to ask them a question what. did anyone volunteer who's the leader of. the group. oh what a cutie we got a cute ear do you. know what this guy's name is well you. got to get him on the phone yeah get him. down camera no no no no no no no no no.

no no no no no no no yeah just stand. right here in the middle of the room. stand in the middle look at this cutie. what's what don't get too close kneel. down yeah kneel down kneel down kneel. down so they can see you they're right. thank you this is funny yeah yeah. you know what this kid's name is. yes look at me. francisco no you won't believe you don't. know let me just give you guys yeah it's. me andrew no what. his name is that's his first name. yeah yeah. so let me ask you something my friend. right. do you go to like.

devry. oh my god or no just let me ask you that. do you go what school let me ask you. what class are you taking is it like for. like. what is he teaching. fancy what. okay he knows about that. let me tell you something yeah. according to these young.

students yeah. he is the best they are in love with. this guy. is yell out loud is fancy the best. can you see this. these kids respect this man they love. him they think he's got the answer. you know what the funniest part is bob. he works for us. [Laughter]. we can fire him yeah at any moment and. they would lose all this respect for him. yeah he's not he doesn't even work for. us he's our slave slave these are little. slaves.

let me say something about santino can i. look at me. beautiful eyes look at those beady. little eyes he is a pretty boy right now. santino look at that look at him look at. the fresh skin stare at him santino. don't break it look at my skin my my. bro. i'm your elder i'm 50. i'm asian too respect me dude look at me. right now. you have soft angelic skin. and there's a really nice you know. are you a virgin oh don't be crazy don't. be greedy.

let me laugh. perfect i want to say something about i. want to say something about let me say. something about your teacher okay. i. whatever i do from now on. right. whatever project i do i want him. involved in everything that i do. that's how much i respect him he really. is um. just one in a million and um. yeah man he's a good dude so. congratulations let me tell you what i. feel about him.

the moment. and i mean this the moment this show is. over. bob and i quit the show. i will. never underline never. speak to that piece of [ __ ] ever. i'll block his [ __ ] number he'll see. me in the street hey andrew i will just. look the other [ __ ] way i want. nothing to do with that pig. and he direct he's a great director he's. a piece he directed [ __ ] a sketch for me.

dude like 10 years ago they got like six. views on youtube. wow he's phenomenal all right you can go. back and sit with me thank you santino. you're the man he's a good dude right. he's cute i like him he's a cutie. patootie when i say cutie it's not a you. know i mean i just think that he's got a. good energy that's all. yeah but it does have you're it yeah. it's a little how old is he santino how. old are you. 19. yeah it's a little weird. sorry about. that pete brought us something pete i'll.

i'll try it out with bob to see what he. says pete brought us a can. pete want you know pete like games pete. wants us to do games yeah what is it. it's a what-if game all right so this is. for kala and bobby together. let's see. what if you had to dress each other for. the insurrection oh what would we drink. what would we dress what would we do for. you that's a really good one what's your. insurrection outfit what would you do. for me how would you dress me up for the. insurrection. you. yeah what i would do you have to dress. me i have to dress kaleila right so what.

i would do is put eyeliner. yeah yeah so i want you to have like a. robert smith cura vibe sick right yeah. black cure wig yeah right yeah and then. i would want like um what's that movie. with um angelina jolie magnificent. magnificent maleficent maleficent yeah. that black leathery. with the you know i mean. you're gonna look like venom. oh that's so sick yeah i got like a. slick yeah black yeah leathery thing. right i'm showing up high eyeliner right.

and then your. your speakers right oh guess what it's. playing dashboard confessional. emo. you're gonna emo right but right you. have a belt right and you've got like um. you're gonna really [ __ ] things up i've. got guns you got guns explosives you're. giving me everything and then you break. in and then you go to nancy pelosi's. office what do i do in there right and. what you do is you. you you. you kick the desk. yeah you go [ __ ] you man [ __ ] you.

your pants. you see your pants and he pops up yes. sir yeah what would i dress like. uh i would put you in one of those i. would try to dress you in every single. racist stereotype that i could find i. want you wearing a rice paddy hat i want. you wearing a karate outfit i want you. wearing. what. that's what they like. and so what. i want you wearing i need to need. teenage mutant turtles yeah uh i'm.

dressed like. and you have sizes thousands of. different asians raphael. obviously you have those shoes that the. divide the feet divide yeah but they. have you have socks and the. and they're little wooden bottoms are my. feet binded they're bound right your. feet are bound i probably have an accent. a hundred percent and so i'm probably. i'm probably going. where mitch mcconnell bigger. or bigger and even bigger. [Music]. perfect right yeah and that's how i want.

you to be yeah yeah because they would. love that they would get a kick out of. this guy yeah look at wang over here. that's what they would say i'm dressing. you for those guys so funny would they. not light him on fire 100 that's why i'm. doing it i'm just sending him in his. bait. how would we dress kalila for it you. know would be better if you dressed me. like elaine chao. oh. mitch mcconnell's wife very smart right. so i'm coming in right excuse me i woke. up here. can i see her by the way yeah she might.

look like you yeah yeah so i'm dressed. as elaine chow. right this is mitch mccollough's wife. there we go. can i be 100 seriously. your hair looks exactly like that right. now. exactly you don't have to do much no. seriously that's you i shave my mustache. hello excuse i go to my office. right. i'll do the walk. she walks like that. insane. with your kitten heels you have a kitten.

and then what i would do is i just. put down a. briefcase. open up. and it the whole thing went. yeah. you'll do it dress up. dress kaleila for the insurrection by. the way oh god yeah. she's too deep. what if bobby had a six-pack. i would have you ever [ __ ] him again you. would never [ __ ] him again if he got in. shape he would never if i suck in my. stomach you can see the packs. let me see what do you think like the.

outlines of where the packs used to be. no they're there it's just under a lot. of fat you know you take a beer out of a. six-pack and they're still and it's like. they're still the ring don't suck in let. it go. do you see any but let it go right now. yeah i mean. suck as hard as you can now one two. three suck. now jump up and down. it's not jiggling too much now put let. it out wait no no. did you see any packs i saw a suggestion. of one. i saw like a.

suggestion. i saw like a an apparition i saw. i saw a ghost of an ab. i used to be here. a ghostly ab that used to be there you. go um here's what here's what i want to. apologize to the kids kids this this. this podcast. was supposed to be i just got out of. rehab sunday right it was going to be me. you know. talk about like. you know how we feel and this and that. and because these kids are here right i.

felt like we had to do this i just want. to apologize no you know man don't okay. they loved it did you guys like it. is there a camera on those kids all. right so i want you guys to sign us off. and say thank you for being a bad friend. on the count of three all together okay. one two three. that's great. [Music].