Sleepwalking Through Trevor Noah's House | Ep 59 | Bad Friends

we got that merch baby look at that. this listen um the other day i was. watching a walk around the house and uh. jules was wearing oh rudy was wearing. this sweatshirt and i saw the back. and it made she put joy in my heart. there's joy in her. rudy put down those knives this is an. authentic. bad friend's sweatshirt that's right and. if you want to be cool. go to badfriendsmerch.com or if you're. on youtube look down below there's all. the on the merch bar you can click on. one of those sweaters. uh down below or whatever else we got.

there uh and buy yourself a rudy hoodie. also. i'm gonna be salt lake city uh dallas. uh houston boston atlantic city. um and then a bunch of other stuff go to. andrew santino.com for dates andrew. santino.com. for dates yeah and i'm going to be. [Music]. nowhere you're not doing stand-up yet. yep come see me live andrew. are bad santino.com who are these two. idiots.

white dude i'm an asian dude you two. are disgusting well you two or something. we're bad. friends watermelon sugar high. watermelon sugar hi guys he loves fruit. watermelon who is that harry styles he. loves the fruit. well is watermelon [ __ ] water is. watermelon [ __ ] yeah because. kalala goes maybe it has to do with. genitals watermelon. sugar you know what i mean yeah well can. you but there's no sugar in vagina.

yeah there is no it's the good ones are. sweet. i know i guess when you know what there. was a picture of like a when a mangoes. there's more salt i think. in watermelon no in [ __ ] yeah it's so. much more it's more. it's a salt block yeah yeah salt black. chocolate it's like a shirt you know. what it is it's like one of those you. know how like. asians that they they like to put salt. on their apple have you ever. tried that what you never yeah because. it whenever a cola makes like. fruits she puts salt on an apple cake. fruit but she slices the fruit.

right right just make it right and she. she'll just put sprinkles salt on it. i've never do you do that. yeah she um you know what she said to me. she goes. when i came home last week wait time out. before you get into that yeah. in my life i've never heard it's not a. fruit not apple it's. more mango and papaya. okay see i get like tahin on fruit makes. sense because it's spicy. hirono tahin what is tahini tahini is. like the. you have you never gotten the fruit cart. the the mexican guy fruit card on the.

corner. no it's tahini i don't do fruit cards. what. no because one time i was in hawaii and. i was with my sarah highland when i was. dating her. rest in peace she's us still alive oh. she is. oh [ __ ] rest in peace and um we were at. the grand wirelea hotel. love you've been there yeah it's. beautiful yeah and then. back then i don't think because i i just. recently went there they don't have it. anymore but. back then when you're out there there's. just some guys selling hot dogs. just down on the street no you're uh. you're at the resort.

you're sitting there you know how they. sell like 20 dollar ice cones. yeah which is crazy yeah but i'll take i. do yeah. i'm hot but um i'm parched and so. something they do was selling hot dogs. there so i go i'll have a hot dog. i ate it and we we right after that we. packed to go to the airport. and we missed the flight because of the. hot dog because. i literally couldn't um yeah move yeah. you didn't mean it because it was in the. hot dog what do you mean it wasn't a hot.

dog. what was it no it's what are you it's. cat meat. no i don't know yeah i don't know what. they get out there what are they. why is america hawaii's not america it's. the 50th one. it's not it is it's a part of the. confederacy there's 42 states in the. united states. there's 50 42. oh the rest of them are. like uh. liars like puerto rico when they the. puerto rico now. whenever i see puerto rico you're not an. american you're not they try to. say oh no we're a part of the no you're.

not you're not and texas doesn't want to. be in the united states yeah they said. we're we're not. we will be our own country you know how. we knew puerto rico wasn't when the. [ __ ] uh. what it was the tsunami or hurricane hit. right. and we present through [ __ ] remember. their faces yeah at their faces but it. would help paper towel. tsunami those bounty quicker picker. uppers are unbelievable the amount of. water that you can get on those things. i love tsunamis don't you. i love me a good tsunami baby oh wait.

you reminded me when you said salt on. fruit. my buddy puts in the north uh east part. of uh. the united states you know like new. england all that they put cheese on. pie yeah no on like. savory pies apple pie not apple pie they. will put they will refuse. a slice of cheese crazy they do it's. probably good. incorrect you could try i try. trace get us next week get us apple pie. and slices of it's supposed to be. sharp thick tillamook cheddar cheese. awesome or when you get like a dumpling.

like sometimes we get dumplings. and i'll order a bunch and then i like. i'll think oh my god there's a pork pork. and shrimp dumpling. and i'll bite into it thinking it's. gonna be and it's a red bean. i hate [ __ ] i hate red bean already's. the best. it's so gross oh [ __ ] you about red beet. red beans. let me say something right that's not at. all it just doesn't taste good. you know what she said though what she. goes um last week she comes home she. goes. yeah and she goes the bird and tom okay.

yeah. they're just nicer than you hey andrew. are you being serious wait a minute. you think those guys are nicer than us. no. i just i just like their company oh my. god. you don't like that burns. oh god i think and you don't like our. company no i also like. but you're going to feel like there's. more a little. oh my god go to their show it's like i'm.

a vampire and they're throwing holy. water on my skin. yeah yeah you really like those guys. i just see them as like like like. fathers. and you two are like brothers uncles. uncles uh what i don't get it. seems the same i think uncles are always. cooler yeah yeah uncles are the ones. that let you get away with stuff. yeah we're not gonna say they're like. the cooler fathers. ah so we're like father's soup but not. as cool. i guess like we like neglect our kids. and stuff yeah we we.

go out for cigarettes and we don't come. back for a couple of days okay so um she. likes them better uh that's a little. annoying i gotta tell you because of how. well we've treated you. and you know what i just said to bobby. what did i do when i called you before. we came i said last night. uh uh i had a conversation with someone. about you leaving and going to school. and. she said what are you gonna do without. rudy and i said i don't know that really. hurts my feelings i haven't really. thought about it i got sad. and i said i'm gonna miss. can i have a moment i said i'm gonna.

miss. i'm gonna miss rudy i don't know what. we're gonna do you know and then i got. really kind of depressed about it i and. i said to him i said if she goes to uc. davis maybe we can fly her down every. week. well first of all she got accepted to uc. davis give her did we say that already. we didn't do it publicly and she also. got accepted to what you see riverside. riverside what's up riverside home of. the river what else. home of the fighting river now so school. that you want to go to. long beach long beach right no long. beach state same thing cal state long. beach long beach state. no long beach state and there's. california what i think it's long beach.

state. what are they the same things long beach. state cal state long beach. i think it's uh but i think it's um just. let's just google it califor. cal state long beach i thought it was. long beach state yeah it's cal state. look at pete googling away pete. california uni. cal state long beach wow yeah you're. wrong. i always call it long beach state oh. look at there that's long beach state is. also. it's the same thing yeah but.

it's the proper way to say it is cool. because right on the website it says. what says it's first though no no dude. look click on long beach look. look at the actual google thing it says. cal state long beach state university. athletics let's move on it's one of the. same okay it's like i've never made it. that way but that's fine. you've never heard of long beach state. i've heard of cosplay called state long. huh. i used to live in long beach we call it. long beach state okay that's fine um. that's the school you want to go to yeah. but they haven't um. emailed me so i think they rejected me.

no no. that's not here here's what we're going. to do now i want everyone to go on their. facebook page yeah we got a campaign to. get her accepted to cal state. because if that doesn't happen she's. going to go to [ __ ] uc davis i don't. want that and then we're going to have. to replace her. that's too far yeah and so here's what i. also want to do is i want to do and. uh andreas memorize this just in case. she has to move memorize this write it. down. just memorize it all right put it in. that bank of yours do not write it down. put it in that memory bank don't write.

it down anywhere don't save it. so anyways we want to hold auditions. for to replace rudy yeah and i want her. to be the judge of him oh that's great. because she can only. judge who replaces 100 only you so um. everyone submit um an audition if you li. first of all you have to live. in southern california the la area yeah. la county specifically la county la. county number one number two. you have to bring this is what you have. to bring you have to bring her essence.

you have which is yes um. island energy big island energy yeah. yeah number two you have to be. innocent okay a weird word but yeah. no why is that in it why innocence weird. there's something about it she's like. purely innocent she's like sleeping. beauty here she has knives on the wall. i understand that but she hasn't used. them that we know oh maybe in the middle. of the night. she's after us killing yeah she cleans. them off comes back in the studio she's. like. get a knife for tomorrow and then she. leaves how crazy would that be if she.

went on camera. that was like a nightstalker thing in la. right. and then i and then like at three in the. morning because this is what she does. this is crazy yeah and this happens. every [ __ ] night don't laugh. every [ __ ] night this happens so. kalei and. i are sleeping and we're here. like an alarm ring right and. you can let it go for an hour she won't. wake up. it's in her room it's in her room next. to her face yeah the.

literally. it's a double bed right so she you know. she's a scrawny body so it's like right. next to her head right yeah. and she has two dogs sleeping with her. in bed. and dogs sleep in the bed yeah and when. i go into the room to tell her turn it. off. the dogs are off they're up. turn up the alarm clock please [ __ ] it. up right well. and i go jules this is how you sleep. jewels. jewels turn the [ __ ] alarm okay. and she i don't know this i go back into.

the room. 15 15 minutes later this goes on. all night long so what time does this. start one. in the morning why why i set my alarm to. one two three four five six. why because i don't wake up at the sound. of it so i need to. hear it a lot of times you gotta go to. therapy. something is deeply deeply wrong one two. three four four five six. seven i would make you sleep outside if.

you lived at my house you're in the. garage. and her room's right next to ours that. we share a wall oh wow it's a nightmare. nightmare why do you do that that's i've. never heard of my life. i don't know yeah well we got a whole we. gotta hold on to a replacement. here's another thing right why do you. sleep. with three lights on you sleep with the. lights. not just the lights she has a [ __ ]. lamp on. the room lights right and a nightlight. jewels. what are you doing with the alarm.

because i can't. i can't wake up with the alarm and i'm. afraid i'm gonna sleep in. so i need the light she also has a. problem she asked this and you have to. admit this okay. you have a sleeping problem yeah no [ __ ]. no there's no one she's waiting. like well she has a real condition. she'll. sleep all night long and she'll sleep. all day long. just like you no you sleep you sleep. 10 hours 12 hours she sleeps about 15 16.

hours. she's got you beat yeah yeah what's. wrong i don't know i always feel. tired why do you always feel tired are. you sad. no takaya said because i sleep a lot so. it makes you feel. more tired it probably does yeah you. should you should set in a lot you. should only get like six to eight hours. i don't i just i've never heard of that. before in my life auditions. of sleeping that much and not being able. to just like get to sleep and stay. asleep and then when you get to sleep. what wait what wakes you up at the.

kalila's voice. yeah do you ever wake up like this do. you have those. no no panic sleeps no here's another. thing that she does. sorry but um she farts in her sleep. no she never farts i fart yeah but i. don't hear she always goes. i farted and nobody knew no no no one. knew. when you fart did the dog sniff it. sometimes all the time my dog. why just they dart right for it yeah. just and the dogs are like. yes my breath yeah see the.

the. you [ __ ] talk to me do you think that. i have bad breath sometimes. honestly this six-foot thing because of. the pandy has served our relationship. well very well. no dude you don't have bad breath you. have nice teeth smile look at the camera. and smile. [Laughter]. the how'd the show go last night it was. fun i had a good i had a really good. time these are. doing these shows back as who would you. want to was it skyler or was this uh.

um mark mark uh. no no mark hayes saratella is another. show do you do the saratellum ones yeah. in hollywood they're outside the houston. brothers yeah. two guys that own uh this is mark oh. mark hayes does the show where. he's got one too they all do him at the. west side of the jam in the van and then. they do. uh then they they have other ones. elsewhere but is there a crowd. yeah how many well the one in. hollywood's like a 150. yeah this other one's maybe 70. i can't. really it's outside it's a small outside. thing. it's nice i i honestly it's so nice to.

be back and to be trying new jokes. oh god i get called every [ __ ] day. now just do it i can't. why it's. brennan was there last night good comics. are doing them sarah silverman was there. like. yeah like accomplished comedians they'll. do all they'll do all of them i've done. jam with them i've done nova i've done. both. so sarah was there yeah sarah was there. she she did it um. rory albanese me sarah uh well last. night wasn't they weren't there but that. was the other show i did with them but.

brennan was there last night ian edwards. is there last night. yeah man speaking of schuyler he called. me. we should call him he's got like the you. want to talk about crazy energy this guy. he's i can't even talk to him right now. why are you mad at him well. i'll just can i just say something i did. the other day to him yeah before you. call him yeah of course. but don't bring it up i won't i don't. know if i should say this but. say it so we do an aaa meeting together. and oh well he's publicly sober uh yes. and he'll do so he's.

he leads the meetings so he calls on. people. oh boy there's like 20 people yeah he. always calls me last. yeah to give you time no no no because. everyone would get only. you you're on timers you talk for two. minutes. but i'm saying he's giving you time to. think about what you're going to say. that's i want to sleep i want to speak. speak early. people tune out they just say that i. want to speak early no he doesn't so. you say people tune out because you want. people to hear your story i have funny. things to say. nah i know see yeah it's a show it's a. set you're doing a set well always. always i only try to get the laugh.

that's why i think a lot of comics gets. sober so they can go do sets in front of. aa people. yeah there's a lot of great comics on. this you know i mean the zoom a meeting. like legends oh right that's right it's. zoom yeah so. what i do is i'll do this right when. he's about to call me to go last. i'll leave so dead like a baby. you just walk out i just leave the zoom. meeting. and then i'll text him i'll go yeah my. battery was a liar. what is this uh it's theo vaughn uh. calling you guys out again these guys.

it's over but it's dumb. you guys want to move past that or you. want well i mean it's like i want to. hear what he [ __ ] says but. what does he say it's like a high school. [ __ ] football team going we can beat. the. uh patriots we already won yeah yeah. what are you we're. [ __ ] the we're monsters what does he. say you guys are bad friends. get the [ __ ] out of here you guys are. both two guys that i told i wouldn't do. podcasts with. that's who you guys wanted.

so let's [ __ ] yeah. he's not even awake right now and it's. 4pm in the afternoon. that's funny can you imagine doing a. podcast with theo. well first of all um what he said. when he said that both of us right have. asked me to do. and and never i swear to god on my. mother's life.

sure and she's the only one i have right. now yeah and me. i've never asked he's the last guy. i would ever do first of all you would. never get one done. yeah you mean i don't know man i don't. know i've been oklahoma man doing casino. or you know. or i'm with [ __ ] you know some ufc. fighters. you know he hangs out with you yeah i'm. with corey san hagen. hey i love by the way i like him a lot. no he's he's really close. no he's really close yeah san hagen's. the [ __ ] he's really close with uh.

um uh what's the kid from louisiana. what's wrong with my wife. uh yeah dustin poirier dustin poirier. yeah he loves him. uh that is a funny clip i love schultz. uh that is about you two are bad for you. making fun of our. our show that's funny dude yeah that's. why you [ __ ] ran away to nashville. um i got to go to nashville to get away. from all this l.a chaos man. shut up yeah shut up he's here i'm gonna. see him tonight or tomorrow.

he's back in l.a he comes to la every. five seconds a guy spending [ __ ] 800. grand. a year on plane flight these [ __ ]. it's like you know everyone's. i'm getting texts from comics i love. these shows idiots. yeah everybody wants to move to austin. no and it's like. well there's no comedy scene and i like. why because joe wrote. i like he's the king no he's i don't. want to attack him no that is not. like it's like there's so many other. hacks yeah right and new ones come on. it's like at least comics is not dead.

the whole thing is so cocky in the words. of bill burr bill burst at it best he. goes dude only one of those guys has a. hundred million dollars and i was like. yeah that's right yeah the only one of. those guys is retiring. he's not moving is he no he that's what. he's saying what would he move for. yeah he he has a wife and kids here like. yeah yeah i get why something we got. there's certain people we have to. convince to stay though well bill's got. to stay. bill's got to stay i think uh who else. i'm sad that tommy segura and uh. christina perry i know that's sad. i said goodbye to the crew i think. burke's got to stay bert will stay.

he loves la yeah he does like natasha. like girls like natasha they're gonna. stay mosha. sebastian will stay said yeah you think. sebastian will stay 100. yeah yeah they love it here like what's. yeah. what i you know it's just the whole idea. of like this house is like. it's not a house it's it's it's a. compound that's the compound it's an. institution. yeah yeah it's it's like when you they.

have a school you know you drive by like. you know. a a city building you know i mean like. capital. or you know i mean that's where he lives. it's it. it's insane is that the hall of records. no that's not. yet he you know he lives where um gwen. stefani used to live yeah he bought. their house. yeah and you go you've been there right. jules big. it's really big yeah yeah yeah it's just. so much money it's so much money i don't. know if i'd ever spend a ton of money on. a house like that. yeah you would that's a lot of money you. know what i would if i i would never.

even get that much money but even if i. did i'd be like that seems like so much. to buy a house i would do what um. craig ferguson did yeah you know what he. did no. if you go to his place he bought four. houses and just enclosed the whole. [ __ ] thing. so he made it if you go through the gate. then you see houses and you're like he. owns all of it. wow and then you know who else is doing. that is um. the director uh we did um. what's his name he's one of the biggest. directors in the world. christopher nolan oh yeah nolan is doing.

he bought four houses and then just kind. of enclosed it. wouldn't you do that i don't know and. then we could all live together. you wouldn't want to live with me i. would want to live on the same land as. you not in the same house no no we would. have. a different house right yeah but do. wouldn't that be nice. who would live in our little plot oh. it'd be great it'll be you in one house. a couple of canceled guys so we can. protect them. we i've always wanted to protect some. people you are a protector yeah yeah. okay um the one thing that i you know.

the pandemic was terrible for me. and for many many other people but the. one thing that i um. found solace and is it the right word. solace is right yeah yeah. is um better help uh it really i i got. into therapy and it really changed my. life for the better. is there something interfering with your. happiness or preventing you from. achieving your goals. i'm sure there are a lot of things but. i'm gonna you have hope. better help is there for you we'll. assess your needs. and it'll match you with your own.

licensed professional therapist you can. start communicating. in under 48 hours it's a great service. my friends. yeah better help is committed to. facilitating great therapeutic matches. so they can make it easy. for you to change counselors if need be. uh they want you to start living a. happier life today bob and i have talked. about this very openly we both use. therapy we believe in it. yeah um this is this is uh professional. counseling this is real and it's and. it's uh by the way it's a little bit. cheaper. than traditional offline counseling you. can do this from anywhere. you are into world from the comfort of.

your own home. yeah um this podcast is sponsored by. betterhelp and bad friends listeners get. 10. off their first month at betterhelp.com. bad friends. again that's betterhelp.com bad friends. hey andrew yes i also want to pull up um. this is my doordash app. yeah and these are the things i order oh. let me see what i ordered so i ordered. uh best damn. burritos from march 26th morton. steakhouse on january 19th. uh so dong dong i don't know what that. is but my point though being.

dong murakomi udon old spaghetti factory. you know it says load more i'll tell you. why i showed this because i use this app. dude look at my i love this app. chick-fil-a wing stop. yeah chick-fil-a again i'm fat so anyway. doordash is incredible i asked you guys. something did you forget that one thing. at the store. now you can get snacks drinks and. household essentials in 30 minutes with. doordash that's right. dinner check check deodorant. question mark i mean maybe check morning.

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badfriends2021. bad friends 20 21 that's 25 off up to a. 10 value zero delivery fees on your. first order. when you use the doordash app download. it now in the app store. enter the code badfriends2021. don't. forget that's code badfriends2021 for 25. off your first order with doordash. subject to change terms apply 2021. bad friends 2021. did you see trevor. noah's house. google trevor noah's house you know he. bought like a 24 million dollar house. yeah 24 million dollars.

why look at that thing. look at the [ __ ] size of that thing. where is it in l.a beverly hills i. imagine. he lives in l.a now yeah 27.5. million dollar belair home 27. million dollars my god i tweeted i wrote. comedy central is. paying yeah how come i never got any of. that money i think for my half hour they. gave me like a hundred bucks. yeah and i slept at a marriott courtyard. i knew. poor not poor he um.

i was in south africa you met him in. south africa. well you know the story between me and. trevor right no so i was in south africa. and um he he has said this out loud also. in front of people so it doesn't i feel. weird sharing this go on. so i was in south africa with um pablo. francisco. jeff dunham we're doing some sort of. festival. sure comedy festival and every show it.

would play. this is right when comedy was kind of. new in south africa so it's like. every show that you would do it was sold. out packed totally you do a coffee shop. and it was just like. the rafters would be filled like people. would be looking through windows. on top you know what i mean on that. rooftop i mean was insane. and we would do every night we would do. this theater that was like. 2000 2500 seats or whatever every night. for like. 30 days straight back to vacation yeah. it was crazy.

wow how much time would you each do 15. 15 minutes yeah yeah it's not bad and. but we would have always had this kid on. it. yeah trevor noah yeah and he would crush. at the time he was just a local nobody. knew him no he would have he was like. known in south africa because like you. would go down a street and there would. be like. a german watch company and trevor noah. would be the model. right and he he had this german like. supermodel girlfriend. and he had um he had money really the.

biggest guy in south africa. but he would honor his nicest guy he was. on our shows so funny. and so nice and um. i just go dude do you have reps. and he goes no matt you know how many. reps. so i called caa for him. yeah and you got him signed with you so. i called c.a and i called matt blake. and i go um there's this kid he's like. i'm not gonna [ __ ] sound african to. see this kid.

and i go all right so then like months. later or whatever when i'm back in. america. i get in contact with trevor trevor goes. i'm doing a gig in las vegas. so i go matt you got to go see this kid. i met one song. he flew out and saw him and then he. signed him. wow so matt blake owes you commission. and then when i when trevor got the. daily show. i try to get a correspondence audition. not a chance. no not a chance you don't.

that i don't see you in a suit on that. show. at that time i needed something i know. but you wouldn't be good on that show. all right. i'm just saying give me a shot okay look. into that camera and do let's do it. let's do it no i know because i i. remember because what well i'll tell you. why i thought. he was a correspondent no i was doing. um you know larry wilmore. of course they flew me to new york to. audition for that show.

because they love you no so i it was the. same type of. you know job right like a correspondency. kind of a job. and i tested you know i mean in front of. all of comedy central and. larry was there but could you new york. and i did okay. yeah you because you're funny yeah so. it's like i just thought i had nothing. else going. you're right i'm not right for it you'd. be terrible on that job. [Music]. like unless they needed like a tornado. why could it be weatherman they don't. have weather.

to come up with a different like. correspondence weather go. yeah go it's going to be sunny out in la. and there's going to be um. earthquakes sell it sell it. sell it into the camera no see i'm not. doing this you would be bad on that i. would be that's why i'm so shy now. you're not shy oh my god. i'm shining you know really you're shy. i've seen your butthole outside. anyway so then you know years passed and. um i thought. maybe he just kind of forgot about me.

yeah you know i mean yeah. i'm so proud of him by the way and then. um. i was with dalia and we were at. a caa um christmas party. and he rolls up and i remember like my. manager being there and a bunch of. people being there and. he walks into this party he sees me i. haven't seen him since. that well since yes since south africa. wow. and and i remember like i'm not kidding. you jennifer aniston was like standing. right here there was like people just.

standing around. and he just kind of walks in and he goes. there he is. to me and he tells the story. about him getting signed because of you. i don't know yeah how i helped him and. all that kind of stuff right. yeah and it made me feel like um. i wanted to cry that's really sweet i. mean it was a nice. you know and then he got in a jet pack. and took off.

he deserves that whatever that is that. is i mean do you want a 27 million. dollar home just because i lived with. other people yeah. he lives with one a girl one in there. that's how much do you need. would you buy a house that big jewels if. you had all that money not that big. what's that how much money would you. spend on a house not a million. million yeah what are we talking is. a hundred thousand big. hundred thousand dollars would probably. get you a closet in that house.

no what a hundred thousand dollars. it would probably get you a nice tent. from rei that you could throw up. underneath the 101. yeah i mean it would be maybe a porta. potty and maybe a nice you would get a. sleeping bag. a canteen a little grill heater yeah a. grilled heater yeah. right and then and then maybe like on my. pillow. on my pillow you could get in my pillow. no you love that guy you love that guy. oh you got a cricket wireless phone that. i'm sure you could call some people on. from i think it's noon to six as their. only time that they work. new balance socks new balance socks yeah.

yeah double layered. double. how much is a car do you know how much a. car is fifty thousand. fifty dollars so you're saying a car is. fifty thousand and you can buy a house. for a hundred thousand. yeah i don't know could you get it could. you get a change of this crazy. could you get a trailer for a hundred. thousand. maybe oh yeah yeah of course you could. yeah you could oh trailer would be nice. no. you could live in a nice trailer that's. fine see no. no you wouldn't be you know what yes she.

would no because i know that she's. a dog lover you can have dogs you have. tons of dogs in the trailer. she's two years um i don't want a yard. where's what state of the united states. do you want to live in. i want to go to um san francisco that's. still in the same state yeah that's a. little cheap. yeah the city of san francisco 100 grand. i think it's the cheap one of the. cheapest places to live right now. that's four months of rent no 100 yeah. maybe. three maybe two and a half two hours. security deposit you're done you're you. have one month maybe. the last month free so yeah you get. you'll get june.

taken care of yeah we have prob. our dogs are such a problem isn't it a. problem. one of my dogs is eyes [ __ ] [ __ ] up. and then i think it's internal bleeding. i [ __ ] it up. you hit it no why you hit with a car. with your. how was it the window oh he was driving. no i um i saw a dog one time and. hollywood jumped out the back of a truck. when it was moving and it scared me. yeah jump right out of the back of a. truck did it did it live. yeah i never said and stick around i had.

a meeting. i saw i used to see i should drive by. every once in a while like a dog on the. freeway that was here. and i used to feel nothing not a thing. because i'm the one that hit it. no what i don't know um. because this is when i have you ever had. an animal with your car oh yeah. what have you hit i've probably killed. about six rabbits. rabbits rabbits are fine i'm fine with. it maybe one cat in my life. cat that's sad that's sad it's bad i i.

hit a human. yeah i hit a human too yeah yeah you. really hit it again i did i hit a guy. yeah yeah i hit a guy in the rain. fought fast pretty fast i was going. pretty fast was he hospitalized. as far as i know i was gone so i don't. oh hit run. i did not stick around no no i did stay. he was. he he left the scene i swear to god he. was acting real skittish. and his body was like we gotta go i was. like hold on wait the ambulance is. coming i called the police i want to. make sure you're okay. he's like we gotta go man they were kind. of uh transients. and they had bags and but i hit him.

pretty hard i hit him so hard his head. shattered my witch like glass in my face. i had little pieces of glass i cut my. face. did i ever talk about how i hit that guy. no what guy. oh he was paralyzed from the waist out. you paralyzed the guy. don't laugh jesus it was so shocking. you smoked a guy with your car i think. he's he can walk now oh he got it back. well he has a limp he's a limp he drags. his leg. oh he's a dragon yeah you're the dragon. i was um.

this is so [ __ ] crazy well car the. prius no this is way back when i was a. kid. so this is this is in the 80s okay. and um. so what i went to so when i was 17 i got. sober. yeah so i would go to these meetings and. i had this really just. white truck but it was like the windows. were broken the engine was it would. always explode. it was like it was hard to get started. it was a [ __ ] up car what brand. toyota oh yeah what do you mean ah you.

know. so i was going so i was at this meeting. and um i don't know if illegally. i'll [ __ ] it i could sue it again um. the cops aren't listening right so i one. cop. so this this meeting was in the hill i. was coming down this hill. it was at night and i was taking a right. but there was no stop sign. there was a stop sign but it was like. mowed over so that's what the. when the cops came uh yeah but still i. should have known. that the because there was another you. know.

street this way right right you want to. take a right right so i took a ride. and i didn't stop i just went i just i. think i just accelerated. and i'm like this and i always hear is a. spark. i see a spark in my rearview window. mirror. from the back of my truck and then i. just see a body. being hurled in front of my [ __ ] car. it was a guy on a bike. yeah yeah and i so you do what you. normally do in that situation. yeah you accelerate right and then i.

hear. right which you do. right yeah right and then i go. and i just kept going bob i know it's. bad where is he now. well then then i pull over and i look. and it's just like. it's like mad max oh he's in bad shape i. mean it's just like his motorcycles and. pieces. in the street i just see this body. laying in the middle of the street did. his shoes come off.

and i did a cackle. you laughed not just laugh it was like a. mad because i thought. oh i'm going to prison for the rest of. my life so might as well get it out now. so i just. laughed because i like this is my life. so i'm like. like the joker you're being like a crazy. person right like a hyena. in the night right imagine what he's. thinking he's laying there. he's like kill me just take me out so i.

get out and you know. your adrenaline is pumping right so like. i grab his body. why because i wanted to pull him he's in. the middle of the street. yeah but you're not supposed to touch. the people that i don't know the rules. that's the rule all right but i don't. know so i'll pull him on the side of the. street. i start i don't know why but i started. grabbing motorcycle parts. i mean like yeah i'm trying to fix it. well i think i'm asian i can do it you. know what i mean. you know maybe you can rebuild it yeah. yeah so trying to put.

things together what does this do you. don't need to. try to put it together and i just from. the ambulance coming all that stuff and. then. did you talk to him did you say anything. no it's all right i didn't see you know. what did he say. the blood in his mouth. did he sue you so then what happens is. the next thing i know oh. so what happened that night because we. had no cell phones back then right. so i went to the nearest pay phone and.

i'm. pretty quarter my hands are bloody i'm. putting. quarters i'm 17 years old by the way. yeah i'm in high school yeah and i. called my dad. hello he was sleeping. yeah and i go dad i ran somebody oh. that's your problem. like he didn't even like most parents. would be like you know what i mean oh my. god what do we do what do we do. can we get there this isn't any hung up. yeah that's your problem. he's right i hung up right that's your. problem oh [ __ ] right and then um.

my truck was fine the truck was okay. yeah yeah thank god. i mean it was dense but there was always. dense you know look at my prius. terrible shape so i went home and then. um. the next couple years i end up like. every other week just being in. court rooms and meeting lawyers and. insurance so you got sued i was in. trouble how much did. i mean did you have a million dollars. you got what from my insurance from. insurance.

what did you end up would you have to. pay i don't remember half a million. yeah yeah personal injury [ __ ] but then. i found out through my lawyer and he. goes. that guy was a bad guy no so you. should've killed him i go. why and he goes i don't remember this it. was like either. he was charged with the rape right or. some sort of molestation. yeah he was like some kind of guy that. had a big criminal record. so that was the way i was able to go.

i'm okay with that you feel okay yeah. that was a tool for god. god said i'm gonna actually god tried to. have you kill him. and you maybe yeah maybe i didn't. succeed in the mission i saw you know. how many people get hit on. bicycles down there in in orange county. and san diego's insane because all those. windy turns and they're oh i see them. all the time last time i was at la jolla. comedy store. a guy got [ __ ] hit smoked and died. like the the friday before the show. i was coming back from golfing with a. friend in northern san diego. and they had the road clothes you know.

that via whatever that is to get down to. the store you know what i mean down to. to get up to um what's it called what's. the neighborhood. at the store and um. and they had closed the road because a. guy had got hit on his bicycle and i. it just happened you know like soon. enough they hadn't cleaned up yeah. wow this [ __ ] dude's bicycle was. maybe 50 yards away from where. the body was oh my lord 50 half a. football field. half of a house half a house wow the. house is. 150 yeah he hit him so [ __ ] hard and.

his shoes came off that's why i asked. you their shoes come off all the time. they do people get hit by cars their. shoes come off wow yeah i can tell why. why because you're flying things come. off yeah but shoot me when dorothy was. flying in the whirlwind and whatever her. shoes stayed on they did. yeah well look at my shoes are so tight. they couldn't these wouldn't come off if. i could yeah. these would fall off though i don't know. why. your story brought this up but and i had. just gotten a haircut and my hair was. like a mushroom you had bangs no it was.

like a mushroom like well on magic. i was so mad yeah yeah but like that i. was playing a character then. you're always literally had this like. mushroom haircut. and i remember being so mad like even. like they didn't want to go down to la. jolla i'm like. i can't go down there with this haircut. and you're like don't be a [ __ ] bro. right so we drive down there and it's. like night it's like 7 p.m or whatever. yeah and um we're driving down gerard. street or whatever or pearl street pearl. pearl yeah and there was this kid in the. corner. of pearl he's wearing a skateboard and.

he does this he goes. and i just so i was so sensitive about. my [ __ ] haircut right. i go chris popova right and i run out. right this kid the car right and then. once i get to the kid i realize a kid's. like. 6'3 he's a man yeah but he's a kid. a kid but a man yeah he had like he was. a huge kid. but i was like still like i'm gonna die.

but. are you racist you know i mean you like. racism. you know like i didn't know what to say. right don't be racist please. and i kind of walked away if he was. smaller though i think i would have. gotten a what were you going to do. punch him oh that's true yeah what a. waste yeah. what would you do to the skateboard. could steal a skateboard i guess yeah. see you it's so funny as a guy you've. never like. experienced that type of thing. racism yeah well people make fun of me. that's i mean they're not the same.

though. i don't think it's the same because i. was made fun of because of my. personality and. who i was as a person okay but like. making fun of you because you're asian. is making fun of you because it's. something you can't help. right like i have red hair i got made. fun of constantly for having red hair i. can't help that. oh that's true you know yeah yeah it's. not like getting picked on for something. that i could i could service or change. but do you get angry you you so you get. like into yourself like oh what. like you at nights i used to hate it it. used to drive me nuts as a kid yeah as.

anything does when you're a kid yeah. but then i just then you grow up and. you're like i don't i couldn't care. it doesn't matter once you find how. little you but i'm but i'm not saying. it's the same as someone being like. that's not the same yeah yeah but we all. get. picked on for something did you ever get. picked on jules um. there's this guy in school and then. what's his [ __ ] name. here or in the philippines here what. what what. who is it but he wouldn't i don't. [ __ ] care give me his name google him.

pete. what's this yes i don't know his name. yeah you do i are a guy at school you. know. you know he was just a classmate from. english and then. he was a classmate from english good. google very good pete very good. so go ahead and then he just asked me um. like what are you and i said filipino. and then i don't know i i have an accent. and then he. imitated a filipino accent oh. but not on the left and now did did did.

this filipino accent get a laugh. no i didn't laugh it was just her it was. just to you yeah. and then we were seated to him. because i i didn't want to fight so i. just like ha ha. so you did laugh it's not allowed. like a genuine laugh that's a really. [ __ ]. you know unenthusiastic laugh. yeah and then i didn't um like talk to. him again what's his first name. you don't need to say his life i don't. know i don't know.

isaac isaac his name was isaac yeah. google isaac. from english class yeah so and then you. had to sit next to him every day. for that year yeah but i didn't talk to. him like he would try to talk to me and. then oh. you know this is he has a crush on you. that's what it is that's a clear. if he continued to talk to you after. he's like where are you from and you're. like i'm from the philippines he's like. oh that's weird and then he went home at. night and was like learned everything. about the [ __ ] philippines and got. obsessed because he has a crush on you. that's why he wanted to talk to you. this is the loser young weirdo uh what.

do they call the kids that are uh. what are they called in cells in cells. yeah yeah. yeah that's him there he is there he is. and look at that pete found him. is that him yeah that's him yeah you. guys you guys see this guy it was. like no he was ugly yeah. stitch fix oh my lord hey my problems. are over. yeah because now you don't have to go. shopping i don't have to shop online. it's just a hassle. shopping is annoying yeah yeah and once. you fill out the form it's. the the little form there it's easy you.

tell stitches you have a guy. you know what i mean or a girl or a. human just a person. yeah they pick out things and they. generally pick out things for you. that you wear and you want yeah and it's. really it's nice i kept. jeans two shirts and one pair of chews. so far. and am i past uh how much money i. thought i was gonna spend yeah uh. yeah but you know what it's nice stuff i. don't really care at first i was like oh. i wonder if i'm gonna like any of it i. do. uh shopping for clothes is daunting and. stitch fix offers clothing hand selected. by expert stylist for your unique style.

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get started today at stitchfix.com bad. friends and you'll get 25. off when you keep everything in your fix. that's stitchfix.com. bad friends for 25 off when you keep. everything in your fix stitchfix.com. oh my god without raycons my ears would. be so depressed. that's right i need i need my wraith. it's my favorite wireless earbuds when i. go running. pop-pop i pop them in pop them in and i. go right and you get um. just the the purest quality sounds well.

the sound is the sound is incredible and. also they're half the price of what. you're paying for these overpriced. earbuds that people are losing all the. time. uh and if you don't like having wires. dangling out you want something. when i see people wearing the white. dangling you know i mean things coming. out of their ears no thanks. they also look great they're really. sleek uh they're water and sweat. resistant which is. really really cool because i take them. when i run and bob takes them when he's. just sweating in the middle of the day. yeah. um they come in a range of styles. stylish colors. and uh they're always comfortable in erp.

fit for a more discreet look. yeah they do they look like they're a. little bit hidden which is kind of cool. i really do enjoy them. raycon's offering 15 off all their. products for our listeners and here's. what you got to do. to get it go to byracon.com. bad friends that's it you'll get 15 off. your entire rakon order so feel free to. grab a pair. and a spare for someone else that's 15. off at byraycon.com. bad friends by raycon.com. it's funny like think about like what. you were like at 19. me yeah the things i was doing at 19 and.

all the history that i had. before 19. what was 19 sophomore in high. school or i mean in college. yeah in high school college yeah i mean. i was. wild i mean i was i was in college being. a [ __ ] maniac but i was also. um i mean okay by the time you were 19. right let me ask you something yeah. had you smoked weed yeah had you been. drunk before a thousand times. cocaine no any lsd or anything. acid mushrooms a lot right a lot of.

mushrooms i only had acid twice. yeah i did like by the time i was on i'd. probably done 60 hits of acid. that's a i've only done two twice i've. only done two tabs oh i've done math. before at 19. never did math and that's. obvious prostitutes i've had. no yeah no sucked dicks didn't never did. you got me beat yeah molested didn't. happen yeah yeah no. sorry so imagine now i look at then when. i see. when i see her every day yeah i think.

wow what a nice life she gets straight. a's. that's where innocent came from yeah. that's why i say innocent you know. because you've never had a drink of. alcohol. 19. i did i tried to weed when did you. try weed. at mommy's face. when when what last year with roger. what really you smoked weed last year. with roger how much. three did you get high no sometimes. people don't get high yeah.

she you took three hits yeah three hits. yeah. did you inhale it yeah breathe in your. lungs i don't think she did some people. don't inhale and then they're like i'm. not high it's like well you're not. smoking. yeah i did rogers saw me do you want to. do it again. yeah because i want to feel the high you. want to feel all you do. you know what i you know can we get some. weed flying some weed you know grace. you know what drugs is acid because. acid's fun. because for the first 45 minutes you. don't feel anything. right you're like this drugs like the. first time this drug sucks and then.

and then. yeah yeah i like when things get. pixelated on acid when it becomes like. kind of like. minecraft that's and a lot of people. want to go to like. people always go like let's take acid. and go into the desert. nope or the forest nope i'm a mall guy. yeah. i like going to the mall that's cool. because i like seeing people's. teeth and eating walking around and it's. just so [ __ ] i. everything becomes like cartoony for me. yeah see i like that but then i saw a. demon once in my room and i [ __ ].

oh my god dude i was [ __ ] i had this. duran duran. right poster in my room yeah of rio you. know. that one woman yeah right bring it up so. people see what they're like yeah so. i was it had a bad trick i was sitting. there and all of a sudden the walls. started closing in on me i hate that. right and then the rio. yeah so dude yeah so she's right i had. that on my wall right. and she was just like this right and i. was gonna show you she looked so easy. she went and she came.

out of the [ __ ] poster poster and she. was red with [ __ ] wing. and she was coming toward me and i was. in the corner of my room. my dad come in hey what are you doing be. quiet try to sleep. [Laughter]. yeah man are you afraid of the real. poster. yeah yeah i one time i did mushrooms at. a concert and i came home and i. thought the mushrooms were done yeah. like i was like these are done these are. out of my body. yeah so i but i laid in bed and i. couldn't sleep.

like it might come down was just started. it was just i was anxious and shaky. yeah and i was like oh so i laid down on. the floor right. and i remember thinking to myself just. go to sleep just go to sleep it's okay. you can just. go to sleep this get your this is over. you're going to be fine come on come on. get up go to sleep. i did this for what i thought was. [ __ ] hours i mean hours i had tossed. and turned and tossed and turned i put. on a sweater i took up a sword i got. cold i got too hot toss and turn and. toss and turn and toss and turn. and finally i i lift i stood up to go. piss. to go to my bathroom piss my mom who had.

saw me come in was still up cleaning up. in the kitchen. yeah yeah she was like what are you. doing i was like oh i did i can't sleep. she's like what do you mean. i was like i've been tossing and turning. all night yeah it's like you've been. home for 15 minutes. and i was like oh. in my mind i was like this has been all. night i thought it was hours had gone. by yeah and i went and sat in the. [ __ ] bathroom i sat on the toilet. just staring. until my body finally got tired and then. i went to bed it would. that sometimes the come down from. mushrooms i i don't enjoy.

yeah acid's not like that but yeah acid. kind of. ends and then you feel a little. blue for the next whatever it's like. it's like a meth come down. what's meth i don't know what those are. like three three days you can't eat or. sleep. you feel like it's constantly and then. when you come down on it it's like. the worst feeling man it's like you. sleep for like. 24 hours oh it's terrible you just feel. chemicals in your body how do you flush. it out how do you get rid of any of that.

stuff. i don't know i mean i would do it now by. going to spa probably but you know. sweat it out but i have to say about. this real thing is is that. i don't know if it was the acid that the. demon. or something because you know i've been. possessed in that room. bobby you were not possessed yes i was. you were not okay did you know about the. possessions. yes in my house yes but you're not you. were not possessed i don't but my. brother was possessed as well. they almost got a shaman.

don't see i you know that's what i don't. like about you that's the role of the. eyes yeah yeah you were possessed. dude one time my eyes flickered back. i'm not kidding why are you laughing i. don't like your i don't like your tone i. just you're being rude. [Music]. let me see it what happened i was in the.

bed i opened my eyes and i go i can't. move. your whole body it was a saturday i. wasn't on drugs. right you weren't on drugs no nothing. right i can't move. and all of a sudden i felt heat on my. chest. and i couldn't move and then i felt my. mind. i i was thinking about crazy things like. like like evil [ __ ] like yeah yeah yeah. yeah kill yourself. i just feel the evil presence and hurt. other people.

yeah really how did you get rid of the. possession. so i just said you got to get someone's. like this i was like you get out of me. and i i ran we had a swimming pool so. right by the garage you're right there's. a door and it goes right. and i was possessed and i you got to get. out of me. right and swimming pool was cold yeah. right because it was during the winter. time and i jumped in the swimming pool. and i snapped out of it so every time. with my clothes on so the secret for. this those at home is going to get.

possessed. i must i might have jumped in that pool. eight times in my life with my clothes. on so every time you got possessed you. would jump in the pool. so then one time how do these demons not. know how to figure out what water is the. catalyst. my aunt who died rest in peace. um was i one time um. i hear a commotion going on my my. brother used to take bible verses. what's so funny it's just whatever. happens next right so he he. my brother was really religious yeah i.

remember that right so he took. he and he would take bible my parents. would have to buy them bibles. isn't one serious no because he used to. cut him out he was like. she was like kevin spacey in the movie. sevens all over the world yeah yeah. it was like stickamata in there momento. right so he would like um. he would cut the oh this is important. sorry we'll pause for the beanie. he would cut bible verses out of the. bible and just paste him on the wall. what stuff that he cared about that i. don't know what they probably know he.

just liked. the way it looked or whatever okay and. he would like draw like crosses on the. wall. what yeah no wonder he got possessed. i don't know i mean it was because so. anyway one time. i come home and my whole family's there. like i have you know i have uncles and. aunts i have uh 28 first cousins. everyone the house is filled yeah and i. walked into the. my brother's room and my aunt had three. aunts an uncle. and my brother was like naked and my.

brother was like. you know i mean in the living room no in. his room in his room right. you know i mean his little penis was out. no his dick wasn't out this is not his. dick. you said naked well his dick was out. yeah yeah hard. that'd be weird your aunt and my. brother's like my brother's like you. know what i mean. twitching twitching right and i go. i go is he being cause i knew what it. was. a possession he'd be possessed and he. was getting exercised or ex.

i don't know what they were doing they. probably came kimchi or something right. some sort of ox blood soup or something. out of it but. um yeah and then we moved out of the. house and stopped. when you moved it never happened again. no can we know the address. uh i can see the road i want to know the. address i want to look it up so bad. what take i want to look him up i want. him to look it up on google my brother. knows the address. dude it's ranch hollow road highway. california ranch hollow road go to. google maps pete and you. because i want to see the i want to see.

you at home let's see if we can get a. negative brother i want to call my. brother okay. um. yeah i'm on bad friends with andrew. right now hey baby. yeah we ever possessed in the house. yeah yeah okay good wait hold on hold on. stevie what what. do you really think that you were like. that you had something take you take. over your body. yeah there's like 20 um demonic like. indian spirit whatever spirits on me. holding me down.

how did you were you nate you were naked. bobby said you were like i wasn't naked. but i had bible verses on my walls and. [ __ ]. and who told you to put the bible verses. up on your walls they're whispering. holding me down. you know what were they saying. it's nothing good nothing good nothing. good dude. how did you get rid of this heavily it. was probably built on. uh on some poltergeist [ __ ] like on in. on an indian burial ground. stevie what what how did you get rid of. it how did you get rid of the um.

i i had a yellow jesus but i only got. the jade. uh they were holding my mouth he was. trying to yell out jesus he only got the. ge party. [Laughter]. one strong burst like you know like a. ryu fireball. and i jumped i jumped in the pool right. yeah you got rid of them. by the pool yeah yeah what was the. address. what was the address remember the. address ranch hollow road one. five nine four five one five nine four.

four ranch hollow road. one five nine four four ranch hollow. road we are looking it up one five nine. four four ranch hollow road. it's real yeah it's real there it is. let's go to satellite let's go. okay all right thanks steve i love you. brother all right so look at that. that's how that's it right there that's. it it looks creepy. full screen it baby i don't like this. yeah yeah look at that oh and look at. that blue truck that ominous native. american.

zoom in on the house clicking on the. house so you can see can you click click. yeah yeah. how about this you know what do this. copy and paste that address and go to. zillow that's the best thing you can do. because then we can look at the inside. of the home. copy and paste that address yeah go to. zillow.com and then we'll be able to see. the inside of them and we'll be able to. see how much the house is worth now yeah. yeah. we'll see how fancy you really are. that's a well that's a i used to okay. show the house again hold on one second. let him put this in there's a funny. story. i just saw a little area perfect yeah. there it is.

four bed three bath 3 700 square feet. 1.5 million. is what it's worth now oh wow oh you. could rent it for five grand. can you click there's no other photos eh. sometimes they have other photos. that you can scroll through nothing huh. why is it. why are they running it out no they're. just saying you could rent it out if you. wanted to rent it out yeah. somebody lives there right now but that. that's the satellite view right there. you can see. so if you look at the house yeah let's. go back and go back to the house go back. to that. oh it's all right so zoom into the house.

to the left side. you can't really okay so anyway. right in between that house and that's. house so that side of the that side of. the house. was my room right and see that house to. the left. yeah and see those trees over there yeah. one night i don't know who lived there. but there was a kid. wearing a cowboy outfit yeah okay. okay and he was going to keep making. noises. okay i don't know what the noises were. okay.

right right and i remember just opening. that i go. i was a kid shut the [ __ ] up man. i would yell right he wouldn't stop. he had a [ __ ] toy gun right. and i walk up to him like i meet him in. between the houses. i go hey man i'm trying to kick a nap. man. yeah i mean you're going to choose right. and he goes shut the [ __ ] up man and he.

[ __ ] takes the butt of the gun. it hits me in the tummy shut up yeah how. old was he. uh you must have been 13. and you're 13. i was like 16. that's a little boy. gun butts you yeah yeah and you're and i. went back in there to my room. and all night long i could just hear in. the tree. you think he was possessed no but he was. just like you know. there's nothing i could do about it you. just got beat up. we never had anything creepy in my house. except.

my sister sleepwalks and she would fall. down the stairs sometimes she's cute at. your sister. enough she used to fall she used to trip. down the stairs so they had to put up a. rope by the stairs so my sister wouldn't. fall face-first down the [ __ ] stairs. she would just sleepwalk all the time. and then they had to. which i didn't i didn't know you're not. supposed to wake someone up from a. sleepwalk. do you know that no if you wake someone. up from the middle of a sleepwalk they. die. they can have like they can they think. they're going to die they're having like. panic. look that up why you don't wake people. up from a sleepwalk because apparently. like you're supposed to let them wake up. on their own because they're really.

conscious like they're actually like. aware and they kind of are half awake. but you're not supposed to do it because. apparently it's really dangerous they. can have a heart attack and die. oh it's not dangerous experts who. discourage a quote it's unsuccessful and. leads to patient disorientation. ease them back to bed without making. forceful attempts right i've heard that. they just get they freak out they panic. they might think their life is in danger. oh wow you're supposed to let them walk. it out on their own do this by the way. uh sleepwalk just do sleepwalk tick-tock.

girl. have you seen this [ __ ] girl it can't. be real no no it's hilarious her. her boyfriend her husband videotapes her. tic-tac-toe but whenever i see stuff. like that i think to myself that they're. acting. that's her selena's spooky vibe for the. for the video no chance. i mean some of these are unbelievable. you could just tell she's actually. sleepwalking. i'm a sleepwalker i've always been a. sleepwalker. and i sleepwalk alone. so we have security cameras outside this. is how my mouth is. no no look there's are going outside.

ten minutes no no no. no no no no. you can tell she walks the same when she.

does it. she's naked no. she's throwing beers into the snow. outside. see this is how you know she's not it's.

just a a human walking by yeah. [Music]. and they mumble they don't make any. sense. listen listen would you break up with a. girl if they did that 100.

once she went outside i would lock the. door. you're gone maybe they would teach her. yeah she'd wake up in the snow all cold. free dead first of all you die. hypothetically yeah 100. oh then no no you just set her back in. you'd save her yeah. yeah you would save her if you if you. were with someone. jules if you're with a boyfriend and he. was he ended up being a sleepwalker. would you break up with him. if it's like extreme then yeah but if. it's just like. going around the house it would depend. out it'd be hard for him to sleepwalk.

because you'd never get to [ __ ] sleep. with you because every hour on the hour. the phone is can i see something going. on. [Laughter]. we'll have to cut it out not say it but. it would depend. how hot hershey was if you look like. that. that's and that's a breakup huh breakup. that's a breakup she eats all the pizza. right right she snores us to sleep yeah. i mean and she sleepwalks. right no i if but if she look like you. know. what's that uh the kardashian girl the.

the. jenner what's her name kylie what not. bruce. what kendall or kylie yeah either one. you know the kendall is the tall model. yeah the target kendall. right yeah i'd just be like i could have. maybe a couple more years of it. yeah you just gotta deal with it right. but if she looked like you know that. girl. yeah kendall is that mean to say no. that's honest. is that honest you're on you're you're. very honest yeah. if nothing else that's very honest look. also maybe she doesn't like you. yeah you know i saw something scary on.

youtube yesterday where i was looking up. um the most loneliest people in the. world. [Laughter]. who is the most loneliest person in the. world so there's this woman. that um this is in the 1800s okay. and she she told her mom that she wants. to marry. this lawyer or whatever she lives in. some victorian town or whatever. she goes you're not mine laura so she. she kept the [ __ ] girl. locked in her attic the mom did yeah for. like.

35 years oh my god. look that up and look at what she looks. like at the end when they found her the. authorities found her. loneliest woman in the world locked in. the attic. is this a documentary about this no it. was like you know how they have the. seven most loneliest people in the world. no you said that like the normal. category i found on yahoo news. but see the girl the left that's what. she looked like before oh on the far. left yes. wow so she's like i'm marrying a lawyer. no you're not and then boom. and then yeah then boom that's so is.

that crazy and then look oh look at the. picture where the mother kept her. on the fourth photo look at the fourth. one they show where she kept her up in. that corner and that's the mom huh yeah. piece of [ __ ] for like 35 40 years. didn't feed her. how did she live well every every month. she would go in you still want to marry. the lawyer. and she's like yeah and she kept her in. there and she kept saying yeah. and then the lawyer dies from old age. yeah. yeah yeah and then she's still up there. that's how women believe in love so.

much like a guy if you're like you don't. want to marry the girl you're like no. i want to get out of here tinder. give me the app you know what i mean i. don't give a [ __ ] why do you think what. do you believe in love that deeply. do you believe there's one person for. you. that's a loaded question of course it is. because i once heard that like. every human being there's like 33. million people that are compatible. well there's seven billion on earth. right be hard to be just one. you know it's like i was playing the.

witcher. like video game which are three yeah. which are three at the video game. there was this one moment i forgot what. mission it was but there was a tree. right and the tree was haunted because. she said that her lover. you know i mean was going to return oh. mean to her. he never did so she just died lonely and. she her spirit was in this tree she. became a tree yeah and it's like um. i didn't do that mission because i. thought it was [ __ ]. yeah [ __ ] the tree you know yeah yeah.

that's ridiculous i thought it's an. insane idea it's an insane idea yeah. but like you know women believe in like. that kind of everlasting. forever yeah one person like they. believe that there's only one. yeah you're the one whereas if i was an. emperor i'd be fine with like 3 000. concubine 100. do you believe in love jewels for family. yeah. but not for not for not for the opposite. sex right. do you think like do you think you're. you do you think there's a person out. there for you at all. that's the face that's it i don't know.

but i want to date someone you want. [ __ ]. all right kid she's 19. she's going to. college. i know well you had you know look you. could capitalize from this show. and date another 19 year old that's. probably a fan. from the show yeah she thinks that like. when she goes to college no one's going. to recognize her yeah they are. yes they are yes they are yeah yeah what. if she becomes like an [ __ ] and is. like super. like like you know what i mean yeah if. there was a bad friends. guy right a big fan he's cute in college.

and he goes oh my god are you jewels. from bad friends. what would you say yeah yeah hi. hi that's an [ __ ] yeah. yeah like all right relax [ __ ] star. because i don't know how to interact. with him. will you be the guy hey oh my god. are you rudy from bad friends yeah. whoa whoa i'm micah i'm dave that's my. buddy dave we're new here.

are you are you new here at um. university of california state long. beach state. yes you can call me jules oh cool oh so. oh yeah cause again because. rudy was because that's a jewel so yeah. yeah we're big fans of the show huge. fans. hey you can we get your number you want. to hang out um. maybe i can give it to you tomorrow i. left my phone and i don't remember. my number you don't remember yourself. your [ __ ] number. weird that sounds like that wow how long. have you had a cell phone.

uh just two years so in two years. i have to go my mom's here your mom's. here you're in college. yeah i live with my mom oh oh really. because on the show we pay attention to. the show you lived with tito bobby down. in. los angeles right no he's lying. dave here um what so what's let me ask. you something. what's bobby lee like he's. dirty okay. but he's funny i like him cool yeah he's.

funny yeah. sometimes he's annoying what what what. what's annoying about him. just him trying to put boogers on my. face all right okay. what about what about the red-headed guy. oh he's fine i like him. he's nice he's nice yeah what about the. um the mexican guy who does the. sound he's really sweet yeah yeah we. don't we. we we're curious about him he seems a. little weird yeah seriously he's just. fancy he's just fantastic has he ever. said anything to you that you're like ew. you're weird.

no really he's kind what about that new. guy. pete that they've got over there what's. his deal i haven't really talked to him. he doesn't seem like someone you'd talk. to yeah yeah. he's like a android yeah he comes in. like a gigantic android book. i have to go you have to go hard okay. look at that. i like that you just get to blow us up i. have to go. well wherever you choose i'm excited to. see where you end up going to school and. that that's the thing we need to make an. email let's make one right now.

um dress write this down fancy that it's. got to be um. uh i want to be rudy. gmail.com i want to be rudy gmail.com. email there. if you want to submit and rudy gets to. judge who's going to take over in the. interim period if. that even happens we don't even know you. got to live in los angeles county. you got to have your own car be able to. get here yeah and uh. it's it's a long shot it's very long but. it could be fun. and also i don't think it should be. someone who's like trying to be. a comedian or i just want someone no we.

don't want anyone in show business we. want. basically and this is why um it's a. difficult find because what makes. um jules here special is number one. she doesn't really want to be here she. hates this yeah. yes number two she doesn't know exactly. what it is we're doing the same. right yeah she doesn't know what the. world is yeah number three. obviously doesn't care number four um. you have to be there's got to be and. when i say innocent.

uh you get what i'm saying you know it's. like someone's who's. um almost ignorant not ignorant no. that's also true yeah yeah yeah she's a. little ignorant of stuff she thought a. car and never saw 50 000. yeah her innocence is the best word. and also do we want only um girl. submissions or guys i think some guys. would be. some guys too yeah well would you guys. would you be. really harsh on them though we'd be mean. the whole time so means. that's right if it's a girl at least it. balances out with female 1 yeah there's. some. rules that we can't cross some lines.

with women well with a woman in here. gives us nice female energy with another. guy it becomes a guy it's you know right. you're gonna pick you are you into that. yeah are you afraid of losing your spot. no. do you care a little no. honestly if you we you went to uc davis. and we're going to find a new. person that person comes in it fits. perfectly. you won't be jealous no. that hurts will you miss doing the show. at all i'll miss it. yeah but you won't really care that much.

i'll tell you why because she thinks. that she's going to go off. right and all these great things are and. great things are going to happen for her. right yeah but at the end of the day. right. this is the gift this is the gift right. she doesn't realize though. how cool this is this is the gift yeah. yeah. yeah no you don't think that though it's. like people that are living for the. afterlife you know people that say like. i want to be good so then i can get into. heaven but you're like but you. but now is this yeah it's one of those.

things this is heaven. yeah the journey right is the death. is the destination and the destination. is. is the end and these mo i'll i'll i'll. be honest with you so will sasso has did. you. see a post i will show you a post and. this made me want to cry from will. from sasso he he was on his instagram. but um it made me literally want to cry. because i'm going to show you it i put. it on my story as well. but um let me see here hold on.

i gotta show you this thing it's kind of. cool. oh no what did sasso post right so. check this out so when i so it's on. he's direct messages to me okay okay so. basically it was. um when i was. my first year on my tv you know will. sasso said. um just let me give it to you in a. second okay well salsa goes hey kid. you know i'm going to this wwf event.

do you want to go and i go yeah i was so. excited like. you know senior cast member wants to. hang out with me yeah so will used to. take me around everywhere. right and he shows me this thing that. they televised. and i was so young and i was so like. green yeah but i remember being so. excited. and when i see this it makes me want to. cry because it's just like this. young asian kid you mean who's like the. whole world's in front of them.

and i and as an older person now. i'm almost 49 now i look back i go i. should have just. savored those moments yeah because this. kid. is thinking about the future yeah this. kid's going i'm going to be a star. yeah i mean you know i'm gonna get. movies and this and this i'm gonna buy. the mansion all that stuff. and none of those things that i thought. were gonna happen happened but. they happen in their own way they happen. in their own way you know i mean and i. had my own journey but it's like. you know it makes me realize that i.

didn't really. appreciate all the little steps it's. hard. and it's hard but now i i feel like i. want to you have to soak in those. those moments and i never did yeah you. did i'm sure you did sometimes. no i remember one time i was on matt tv. and. ryan gosl not ryan gosling it was ryan. reynolds. he did he was deadpool right yeah ryan. reynolds was sitting there with dick. lasuchi the executive producer. and i just sat next to them and we just. talked i didn't know who he was.

yeah and i was be in my own thing you. know i mean you know. if i would have done if i would have. lived in the moment more. and just because you know and just kind. of talk to the guy. but that's so hard to do you never know. you know i remember one time. um green day played. and i just was kind of just aloof to it. all. and i'm like literally sitting there. were you using at the time. no i was just like in my own. ego and in my own head that sucks right.

and it's like. everything you know me i was just. oblivious to you know i mean. the gifts that were all around me but. it's well but now you appreciate it so. at least you respect. you know some of it like trying to do it. now i'm trying to take this in you know. right here doesn't seem. like anything but uh um i really am. trying to take this in and this is. special this is not forever. right and this is um something special i. think that we. created you and i together yeah you know. what i mean and it's like um i just want. to be able to savor those moments a. little bit better.

savor it so before you go away to. college. right now these moments right now i know. you're playing with your hair. doesn't care doing it couldn't care i'm. saying that this right here doesn't care. this is you know this is it. this is it right and under your head. like i want to meet a boy you're going. to meet all those things. but he's going to cheat on you you know. and he's going to lie to you he's going. to hit someone with your car and yeah. he's gonna. deceive you he's gonna steal he's gonna. steal from you money he's gonna date.

your best friend. yeah yeah and then and then and you're. gonna be. crawling back here in your hands and. knees you know what i mean please tito. can i do the show yeah yeah i failed out. of you. we've got some simone or whoever is. you're. killing it killing it killing it she's. getting just unbelief she's like. laughing at their laboratory. murdering yeah and um i also want to say. that um. i have a prediction that if we keep. doing this. and after you graduate from college. hopefully we'll do this for what another. 10 years. i would like to do it as long as we can.

we can how long do you think it's going. to last. six or seven months i know but. do you think i mean we've i've never. really thought about we've been doing a. year. we've done it over a year now in my. heart i would like to do this about five. years would be cool five more years. and then what happens between us um in. well i mean we either a hatred or is. there a no i think. i don't want it to end badly well what i. think is going to happen is we're going. to parlay this into something else. like i think bad friends will do a tour. when everything is back to normal.

i think you know we're doing the. animated show that that hopefully will. get out to people so like. i think we'll parlay this into other. things and then we'll be at other points. in our life and career let's make a. promise. with each other though there's no um. bad feelings never okay there never will. be. yeah because um we're better than. theo and brendan yeah we're. better than bert and tom we're better. than those guys and and i know you. say you like them more than us which is.

a little repulsive to me. but i'm gonna let you take the hit. because it's like this you live with us. you're we're like family. and they're outsiders coming in so it's. cool because it's different but if you. lived with them you wouldn't like it. okay okay anyway bobby's right. this is it and thank you for being a bad. friend. very good. [Music]. i could like say i like it like that i. like it like that. come on tacos come on what i can like.

say i like it like that i like it like. [Music]. that. [Music].