Sleeping Away Your Sadness, Working Away My Pain w/ Dan Soder | Ep 182 | Bad Friends
[Music]. [Music]. yeah you have to open it up you have to. open it up you don't open it up no I'm a. trumpet player. oh yeah. they wrote a coffee carrot. coffee Cara. drink it you're drinking you're a bit.
hmm. two are bad friends who are these two. idiots. [Music]. or something we're bad friends. Macon just broke a piece of glass in the. studio he broke uh my glass a piece of. glass it's about yay big I don't know. what's this that's how I describe you. yay big.
all right well that was rude but um. when somebody goes how big is Bobby how. big is your best friend Bobby I go yay. big okay good so yay big. all right anyway so you owe me one you. owe him a new piece of glass anyway last. night what was first of my first. hurricane and I'm gonna say that. not that big of a deal not that big of a. deal at all yeah I went outside and. everything yeah you know what I mean I. went to a local bar with my sister. really my sister says hi they're in town. they want to come see you see me where.
they want to come say hi she came over. at three in the morning last night. anyway um Jesus. was that the hurricane yeah oh that was. the earthquake I felt yeah yeah that was. the earthquake yeah we had an earthquake. and a hurricane yeah anyway it was fun. last night but anyway um. so anyway uh last night hurricane okay I. lived through it but so I hurricane. Hillary ripped up Southern California so.
then I went into my um you know I have a. little um not a cover what do you call. it Pantry okay you've heard of how many. Pantages you have one I have three how. many do you have pantries for food I. have one place for food you have a lot. of pantries well I converted a couple of. a closet bedrooms. another bathroom as a pantry though for. you it makes it in your face dog but. anyway Patrick fat guys do.
but guess what in my third Pantry last. night I [ __ ] real hard last night but. anyway let's whoa did you your sister. [Applause]. I'm kidding I love her but anyway last. night well you better. [Laughter]. is that something I bought it's. something that I forgot about have you. ever bought something you forgot to buy. no you mean you buy something and you. forget when it's true no you bought.
something you put it away and you're. like oh I bought that yeah what did you. buy babe. it was a blue book. be nice. it was a [ __ ] machine. so jealous right and and this one dude I. was like there's no way it's gonna work. but you already have a few but this one. in particular I was like. you you charge it right on a like UCB. this was a battery one so okay it was. like oh my God it's like the 80s where. you have to put like double a batteries. in it yeah you know the the plus and the.
minor whatever so I put it in there I. screwed it and it it looks like a. [ __ ] um it looks like a [ __ ]. machine I bet no it doesn't no it. doesn't look like from afar it looks. like a hair dryer it has the same setup. like a handle yeah and like the right. yeah so there's no way. last night I I'll try it I stuck it on. and as soon as my penis went in it I was. like. oh no this is different yeah this is new. did you have to put anything inside of.
it or just get it started and get it. going. I'll have a variety I have heat. cool whoa every brand of lube you know. how I do with sunflower seeds yeah I do. it with Lube too yeah. you know how David sunflower seed. sponsors us a multi-flavored loop do you. taste the do you ever taste that I don't. taste it. it's not hot it's outside like [ __ ]. um it's fully edible though it's it's. their food grade don't you gotta trick. me again because I'm gonna do it Lube is. food great I know but I'm gonna go home.
and do it and I'm gonna get sick. everybody knows Lube is food imagine if. you have to put it inside of people it. must be safe for you to consume yeah you. did that with my calm yeah you say come. has a different flavor it is food grade. I told you to taste it well I tasted it. it looks tastes the same on every day. you try you have to do every day. Monday's different than Friday what do I. do anyway. so last night um you know the. Hurricane's going and stuff yeah I'm in. the bathroom.
and when you when you masturbate you've. masturbated before right a couple times. you're very good yeah I bet you you're a. pro this guy's ranked are you ranked do. you think on a national level top five. thousand yeah I don't know I got a. master though. masturbator yeah I mean you know like in. chess you know because. um what's your rank what's your rank and. chess like 2000 is unbelievable yeah so. oh then that was what you think as a. masturbator maybe like uh 20 000 out of. 250 million in America that's pretty. good not bad yeah so what happened you.
think you performed well last night huh. Indian guy is [ __ ] number one those. guys they're always the best well them. in the Chinese yeah yeah they do it the. best yeah spelling bees chess and then. masturbating they're the best which they. can all do at the same time. so um. anyway I just woke up so I'm not even. clear but um I made a no I've never made. a noise orgasming. [Music]. um. it's like oh first oh yeah like if I go.
I'm gonna write you the lyrics all right. okay o h o o o h h o o right and then. the last one is capital capital like you. know how Trump when he tweets and he's. angry. social it's all capital yeah yeah oh 15. times.
dude he just cripped he crept in here. did you see that he was cripping it did. you see me damn what's up. please sit down in our blue chair oh.
[Laughter]. oh cool I love to [ __ ] do an arena. what did you what'd you bring you. brought a little gift I just did Mark. Marion's podcast he says by the way he. knows you're gay uh did he say that for. real finally he goes by the way tell.
Andrew I know finally he reads my text. messages yeah let me ask you something. fun not fun was it fun it was fun I got. emotions he digs deep huh no he gets too. deep he got me dude he goes too deep. what did he give you there one of his uh. [ __ ] coffee mugs yeah oh cool he was. like Hey you cried about your sister. here's a mug. no go get a cup of coffee how many times. have you done it I only did it once me. too I think he only does one he has a. one-time deal now I think he you know. people he likes he invites back I know. like tarantine yeah yeah well.
Tarantino's huge yeah my dumb ass being. like and then I I like comedy again dude. I was just across the street I gotta. tell you guys this I grabbed food real. quick yeah or cross at that Diner I sat. at the counter the most La [ __ ] in the. world what happened there was just this. super old guy on the phone. and he's like talking about post Malone. and he's like yeah listen to his CD it's. a good song. he's good he's like a real he's CD's. real good yeah then he starts talking.
about naked ladies oh I love this and it. was so old and porny where he goes yeah. look her up look her up she used to do. solo and girl on girl good body he goes. but now she's doing regular porn throw. eight inches at her and I was like oh my. God. Carlos you were next door before this I. thought it was Bobby that's 100 Carlos's. conversations on the phone yeah you got. to look up for it look up her stuff I. was looking up the girls. do you remember any of the girls names I.
left the tab up yeah because I knew I. was coming here yeah God bless I wasn't. like no let me delete the thing that. we're gonna definitely talk about who is. he ranting about uh he was ranting about. this girl name is Sid Wilder oh I know. her I know wait wait wait first of all. [ __ ] I know her I know that's why wait. wait wait okay she's not a porn star. okay she's more of a she's a comedian oh. yeah she does I know who this is oh yeah. but she I we follow we I know her she's. she she she used to do stand-up or. something yeah. more about social media kind of thing.
but I know her the other girl and I know. I I see what you're trying to do no the. other girl I know what you're doing. right now Sydney the other girl he. brought up was uh something Scott. I erased her one it was Sydney Scott. there's one right there uh it's a blonde. lady named. just just an elementary school teacher. named Sydney Scott no I'm gonna fight. he's like and then there's a girl who. teaches my kids yeah I like to see her. tapes this guy was such an old perv by. the way we're setting records another. teacher got busted for just this past.
week for a I want to say threesome or. foursome it was in the news I think she. was an Idaho which one look up the news. another one well there's one in the. Bronx I saw that one yeah but those. three on that one teacher allegedly. arranged threesome with schoolgirl and. mom wait and it was a dude that pulled. this no I think this was a girl right oh. no that guy oh that guy this guy pulled. it whoa well I mean if you do it with a. parent I mean they get consent right. it's like a they had the field trip for. him yeah I mean we go listen before I.
suck and [ __ ] you and your daughter I. mean you can bring your kid to a rated R. movie if you're there right exactly. bring your parent to yeah I don't know. there's absolutely a slimy lawyer that's. like we got this. it's called the permission the. permission slip this is like in uh in. Wisconsin if you're underage you know if. your parent is there you can drink do. you know about this what it's kind of. like um local uh not a law but like.
people just go with it you're allowed to. drink under miners under the stage are. allowed to consume alcohol as long as. they're accompanied by a parent legal. guardian or spouse of legal drinking age. in Wisconsin it is a law damn dude they. have that's basically like training. wheels for boots 100 they're like hey I. let go back a block ago you've been. blessed. just keep peddling. yeah dude Wisconsin would be the state. that does that 100 but we used to go up. there when I'd go with my parents to. like Irish Fest and we go to a bar and I. it always felt like we were getting away.
with something but the bartenders were. like what are you looking at what do you. want like just throwing the beers and. they're like okay which one how old were. you I was like 17 18. so you're already. drinking well yeah but never in a bar if. we if we got into a bar it's because we. knew someone whose Uncle owned it who. was just a degenerate blackout he was. just sitting at the end of the bar and. he's like just make sure none of you. guys drive you you guys wouldn't want to. be around in high school getting drunk. man in high school I got super gay you. know I would get so gay dude tell him.
you did method you do meth in high. school I started I did meth at 11. what. well that's when you can get it when. you're about 10 or 11. yeah yeah that's. why you start understanding Society yeah. wait but what is that because at 11 you. still have child energy you know you. still have like I want to go do that and. then with meth where you just did you. shoot To The Moon no my dad was always. going to come in so I had to prepare. myself oh no you did paranoid meth. paranoid yeah. oh yeah. when did you how you gave you the math.
what happened was um one day we because. from Minnesota to San Diego it was like. when I was 10 whatever and then we we. moved to the suburbs Green Valley okay. beautiful beautiful you know what you. get in the suburbs is good math you get. drunk you get bored kids doing drugs. with this it was the last time I ever. saw a Filipino kid you know I mean with. mustache they used at 11 o'clock yeah it. was insane they really do deep voices.
but they can't grow beards their bodies. are hairless. insane it was a kid he flipped over a. skateboard and he was doing a line he. must have been like five years older. than me you thought it was coke. no I didn't know what it was but I. remember going um I hit my I was I was. in so much pain. I just remember just being in so much. pain like sad and yeah I mean my parents. are so violent I got all F's on my. report card they thought I had Down.
syndrome they thought I would really. rereads yeah and I just walked across. the street girl and I go can I have some. other day it was a drug I knew that it. was gonna change the way I felt you see. that kid if you're doing bad in school. just your jokes a little bump will do. you yeah. I would probably try some stuff with you. guys really when you get drunk you'll be. like just kiss me you fool he did he did. all that stuff all the time I did that. all the time did any of your friends.
take you up on the offer oh yeah oh my. god dude yeah San Diego have you ever. been down there yeah everybody's. pansexual. pan City dude it's pan City. let me say something if you know the. women back then now it's like being an. Asian guy you're like oh it's normal. like you know I could if I was young now. if you would have been killing me. right in the party walking in like this. right yeah did you ever have a friend do.
it and then like call you the next day. and be like hey don't [ __ ] tell. anybody oh no no it was a. you still talk to any of those guys that. you hooked up with from high school. I didn't you were drunk so it's like. nowhere he's right it is a hookup I. didn't say you dated it's not a hookup.
it's a hookup how is that not a hookup. Google what is hooking up it's a hookup. that's the that is a hookup you hooked. up and then now their wives are like so. you guys went to high school together. that's why you've never been to a. reunion he cannot face those being. intimate sexual with someone without. being in a committed relationship with. them that's a hookup buddy that's a. hookup dude so you hooked up yeah no. yeah there's nothing wrong with it you. were getting to get you you said a hook. up you don't like it no it doesn't say. anything about that.
no it doesn't mean listen if you eat a. meal it doesn't mean if it's good or bad. you still ate. yeah. you're hungry. bullied right now you're not yeah yeah. all right dip it back up let's bring. this down I just want to tell you right. now Bobby yeah yeah I find this very do. you really I swear to God and I think if. I would have been doing meth I might. have been tossing out I wasn't doing. meth at the time when I was doing that I. doubt it yeah you're not a you're not an. HJ guy you would do meth and go build.
something yeah yeah soda's up building a. shed again all right go teach me a. different fight what's an SJ huh HJ. sub job your hand job the first time I. got a hand job I almost said please stop. it really it was so uncomfortable. from a guy girl it's almost always been. a girlfriend. [Laughter].
say something. I was highly sexual you have to. understand being a Korean dude in the. 80s back then what do you mean everybody. was highly sexual and they're 15. oh. good okay okay. I'm just saying in the 80s back then. they just did it no girls liked uh guys. that look like me well no no it's. because of where you live you live in an. athlete in White San Diego okay whatever. you would have killed also up here I. would have killed it in Korea maybe yeah.
yeah San Francisco Los Angeles maybe. what do you think was the biggest. deterrent for girls when you were young. was it me yeah maybe because I was three. foot two. did you ever go hunting for small women. did you ever see like did a small girl. have with the Noms. wait so no no. you were the [ __ ] military ass I was. out there Charlie Charlie. what about a tiny white.
you should have had agent orange with. you I would have taken them down. oh my God. be real dude you think you think because. of your height was the biggest attorney. also I'm weird. I'm gonna tell you right now. [Applause]. I was a tall weird and they didn't like. me you see they did not they were like. you're weird about you but you were an. athlete I sucked I wasn't I never got a.
proxy though girls did just think you're. tall and attractive I'm an athlete yeah. well I was on the tennis team and. wrestling team that's not athletic the. wrestling team though the problem with. that is those guys are so hardcore about. wrestling that's all they can think and. talk about all day yeah football players. basketball players all they're thinking. about is girls the shitty basketball. players and the shitty football players. all on me yeah we're playing the sport. but we're also concentrating on where we. can get [ __ ] up yeah where are we. gonna get [ __ ] up we were the guy I. was the guy that was like where are you. gonna get beer and you're like I got.
beer don't worry you know you turn to me. yeah we're on the bench but being weird. it does it stops you from getting [ __ ]. thank you but now short King thing this. is a new thing dude all over the. Internet you're in your element right. now dude you couldn't Shine Anymore. short King look up short Kings dude sure. kings are all over the place they're. having short King parties what just for. you guys they're having parties with. dudes not above five foot seven and the. girls are all like above five foot ten. whoa do you want to go to one of these. buddies dude look up short King parties. let's get you a [ __ ] tall Queen dude.
this is Fred you don't think I [ __ ] good. I think. hold on don't come over here. I'm doing fine I think you're doing. great in the last in the last part I'll. have help in the last 30 years though.
lovely lunch last week you and I yeah. one of the best one of the best food I. did poo yeah but you and you washed my. back I did like a real friend wait a. minute mid lunch you went to the. bathroom after lunch yeah why did you. wash his back well he didn't want he. watched my bag. yeah dude what are you getting the tape. on this podcast anyway Bobby but yeah.
but I was saying I I because we had such. a lovely lunch I want you to do even. better than before without you and I'm. saying right now I know you're doing. great yeah but how much better could you. do if you [ __ ] it you show up at a short. King party you're the man you're the man. under five eight and the dates have to. be over five ten this is amazing I love. this this is match this is Dana White. matchmaking now look at yourself could. you imagine yourself with these fellas. right here I think I like these guys. okay let's press play on that let's see. what they got going on these guys oh.
hell yeah look at all these girls are. tall and a lot of times hot tall girls. are hot but they're tall so like men are. like hey they're intimidated by yeah by. the way this is my favorite about. Trucking parties all the girls have. their arms wrapped around the guys like. they have their arm resting on the man. shoulders I've always dated girls five. eight or taller you've never dated a. short girl no could I say this too and. this is a little science when you're. laying down. I think it's because their their lengths. are usually in the legs yeah so torsos. aren't really that much longer so it.
seems like you're making love to. somebody that's your size right and then. when you're laying down you feel it. feels same feels the same exactly the. same I mean I have to do it a little bit. of but if he goes down if he goes down. there it takes him a long time to get. back yeah and I have to like when I want. to kiss him I hit the stretch of my neck. a little bit. yeah yeah we just gotta buy you one of. them. her neck is right here and then I go I. want a kiss. oh you go yeah I had to do that yeah I. get that to get some breath you like you.
go to the ocean yeah you're stretching. your leg let me get a kiss yeah just. keeping your head above water like. that's food. that's food I have to do a dust boot you. know what that spoon is yeah you'd have. never heard of that smooth yeah. right it's one of the best movies ever. made it's pretty good it's a German. movie was it Russian or German I think. it's German German. yeah yeah yeah great movie right yeah. well from Peter there's a lot well fun. pretty soon.
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unless they win for more information go. to forthepeople.com bad friends or dial. pound law that's pound 529 from your. cell phone that's for the people f o r. the people.com bad friends or pound law. pound 529 from yourself this is a paid. advertisement you know what I rewatched. alien one and Aliens. yeah I mean that's James Cameron that's. well the first one's not really Scott. yeah really did the first one yeah. release got to the first one but both of. those movies when you re-watch them. you're like this is pretty good [ __ ].
though dude I might you might have yeah. you might have inspired me to watch them. back to back because it's been probably. 20 years since I've watched it so I just. went I went to the Hollywood Forever. Cemetery this past week you know they. show movies in the cemetery yeah and I. went to go see it's Kill Bill it was a. Kill Bill sleepover one and two great. here's the wild [ __ ] A the movie holds. up to an incredible degree like I. thought I've seen that movie so many. [ __ ] times maybe it'll be whatever. phenomenal again 4 500 people in the. cemetery my brain goes to someone's. going to ruin this they're going to be.
talking they'll be [ __ ] around yeah. everyone silent really clap when they. clap laugh when they deserve to laugh I. was like how come we can't do this in. normal functioning Society like how come. we can't just all be on the same page do. you love those movies Kill Bill I adore. after Michael Park he placed a couple of. roles in it but he plays this Tijuana. like. like he's like some sort of like a pimp. or something it is Michael park right. Michael Parks yeah Michael Park that. that monologue he does I don't know if.
it's one or two yeah that monologue it's. in two yeah and so you know he wasn't. supposed to have that part really no the. actor that they hired was out of town. during the like um table read then you. get back in town so you know you're. [ __ ] changes. you're gonna miss it it's my great. aunt's birthday yeah so Tarantino asked. my because you're already in the movie. yeah just you just read this part and he. crush and he crushed so bad doing that. part that territory was like oh the.
other guy's fired that's exactly right. if he would have just shown up skip your. aunt's birthday also what's more. important it would have to be like um it. would have people like oh uh a Stanley. Kubrick's was reborn yeah why shoot for. him or your wife was getting heart. surgery and you had to help do it. I don't skill things I don't skip. [ __ ] table wait for that yeah yeah. I'd rather have my wife die. that's how big that is you know that. right you heard that Clinton if you ever.
want someone to sacrifice. you heard my history. Tarantino you bring a line to Matt this. guy will be at the yeah I haven't. watched Kill Bill since it was out in. theaters phenomenal honestly oh you have. to watch it it's so good again sodi how. long he's in town for. so uh Wednesday are you are you here uh. running around promoting or what are you. doing I was supposed to promote but then. there was a strike.
the whole background was the show and I. was like hey uh that's gonna get me in. deep [ __ ] I need my health insurance and. what did he say was he like I'll leave. it up there he's like no no I'll change. it he's cool yeah I think people La is. the city where they understand because. nobody wants to lose them without like. liking highways yeah Bobby's World yeah. so when you was that the first time you. met him yeah what a nice guy right I've. known for years but I love them. sweetheart yeah yeah and like walking. around yeah very nervous because I.
didn't know you don't know how that's. going to be kind of like an older School. dude like old school dude you're like I. don't know if we're gonna get along I. don't know how it's gonna go and he was. super [ __ ] did he show you his. hologram yeah he's got Tupac's Holograms. I love that yeah yeah and then I yeah he. does have two boxes in a warehouse in. L.A it's it's some real adrenochrome. it's a 50 thousand Squidward square foot. warehouse and I was like what's all the. other rooms for he's like we're figuring. it out he already knows oh yeah you're. harvesting the fear of children I um it. was one of those things where I'm anti.
I'm against Ai and chat gbt it just. scares me yeah you know and I was like. joking at first being like yeah that. [ __ ] kind of scares me and he's like but. why does it scare you yeah like it. really was that moment where you're like. are you a computer why are you so big on. pushing computers on me man he's like. write down your feelings we'll talk. about it on Michelle zero one zero zero. one one zero sorry I [ __ ] up what were. you saying but he doesn't take a second. he he's constantly busy and it's like it. just like I look at him like I don't. ever want to be like that no way.
you stay on the path you're on right now. you're just fine you you almost do. nothing. so rude dude what's wrong with you today. isn't that true you're attacking me at. all isn't it true what's the real matter. with you right now isn't it true that. you you do you you like to do almost. nothing I do so many things in my life. so what are you talking about what do. you mean you just said I don't want to. do it how I met you no I'm just like. he's constantly like 8 A.M to [ __ ] 9. p.m yeah he scheduled booked book book.
he really did that as we do this podcast. he's like I got something right now yeah. yeah he's constantly going and one time. I asked him I go dude he's like if I. stop and think I'm gonna get depressed. and I get in my head and I'll get really. I get really depressed and he goes. oh that was a good one did he do that. yeah he did that by the way yeah yeah I. just as a fart connoisseur oh really I. could hear this back thank you man well. the these seats are built for that we. did buy one but you're right I I mean. there I mean I am you know a little. lazier than most I'm not saying you're.
lazy I think you like to do less because. I will I will join your team Bobby and I. will sacrifice myself for this. conversation yeah I love to do nothing. you do loved it thanks man what's. nothing to you lay on the couch all day. if I can I think you have it I'll walk. my dog what do I have you have a little. bit of Howie Mandel yeah I want to do. stuff no no but you're constantly going. yeah you're like sometimes we'll go off. the road and you're like oh no I'm going. to Hawaii I'm gonna do it I'm doing a. golf tournament in originally and I'm. like dude slow down you know what but.
this is what this is all I've got I'm. gonna die I should do it while I can but. I'm gonna agree with Bobby I'll watch. your stories and I'll be like I just saw. you were doing a show how are you. golfing with Travis yeah because I. because I feel like I gotta I've gotta. get it while I'm having it right now I. understand that but to argue what Bobby. and I love to do yeah I work hard so I. can take a Monday next Monday right yeah. I got nothing nothing and it to me is. better than doing anything okay I'm. gonna walk my dog twice see I'm gonna do.
that too but then and then I'm gonna. literally go upstairs I'm gonna play. Playstation I'm gonna watch TV shows I'm. gonna order food get us maybe walk to. the Starbucks at the base of my building. mate that's gonna be a sick [ __ ] day. yeah we went on tour right we would wake. up on the tour bus he's already got he. he comes back with a bandana a hiking. backpack a test Racket and you're like. I went spear fishing yeah you know and.
it's like you're supposedly going and. it's like I think you have the same. thing that happens it's a sickness. without a doubt it's a sickness your. sleep away your sadness and I work away. myself first of all that's a beautiful. song. and I work. and you sleep away your sadness you. don't want to face it and neither do I. we we're the same guys no one wants the. face two separate ends I just can't keep. going and going and going and going and. going and going and going yeah but I. know I like facing sadness sometimes.
yeah no I like to put a little dip in my. mouth lay down with my cat gooner right. yeah and listen to some really sad [ __ ]. dude that sounds honestly right and I. bring out the machine. you know see me I listen to sad music in. my car if I'm really sad. starting to sound the same I miss the. comfort of being sad yeah yeah I like to. take a drive and listen to sad [ __ ] oh. my God so look I'm still moving even. when I'm yeah you can't you're a shark. this the machine has yeah I can't sleep. you can't so you can't stop I think I'm. gonna get one of those aura rings to.
find out how often I sleep at night yeah. and I think genuinely I'm gonna it'll. register four hours a night maybe I mean. I looked at mine because I didn't I. don't snore but I toss and turn yeah and. I didn't know that's how I lived with. Katie and she's like dude you flip and. flop all the time does she sleep really. easy she can't fall asleep but once. she's asleep she's dead. I would think is she does what I do. where it's like yes constantly yes she. can't really she can't slow down she. once she slows down she can sleep or. whatever but then I'm I can fall asleep.
fast and then I'm moving in my sleep and. I'm up so I sleep for like an hour then. I'm like I'm up and I sleep for another. hour and I went and did the test and. they were like you're waking up 23 times. an hour 23. I have the same thing and so. I got to sleep at me and ask but it. didn't work it like there's something. [ __ ] up with my nose I feel like I'm. suffering a [ __ ] up face I think stop. it. I'm sorry you're right I just looked at. it now it's so long it's long this way. you gotta stop that I can't yeah you did.
don't put water on it. his brain is so big it's weighted down. his skin is I don't know why there's Dan. soder's head there it is there it is. that is absolutely it that's it yeah. it's hilarious that's a long skull yeah. yeah wait a minute look. give me Korean guys skulls what are they. like all right let's see what the [ __ ]. he's just doing some light racial for. knowledge.
that's it normal totally normal wait a. second whoa that's cool what does an. Irish guy's head look like I'm sure. there's not there's not a lot of room. what if like a Korean guy skull had like. little slips. oh my God the orbital bow yeah what is. that just a Dropkick Murphys album yeah. The Pogues floating around our brain the. whole time it's just the shoulder tattoo. of Austin firefighter. but when will when will you stop doing. stand-up you think what age 65 if I'm.
lucky when they when they do not buy. another ticket I'll be done it's I'll be. done at 60 65. what do you think would. be the next chapter of your life then. after that yeah what do you do nothing. again I'm 52. you do the thing I'm 52. you're not gonna quit at 16. really yeah. because I'm 52 right now I can't even. imagine quitting at six days what about. 65. no I think 70. Kevin Kneeland I'm. done see you that's that's you say this. but I think you're just like me in this. regard you'll want to do stand-up. performance or something like that until. they tell you I bet there's a form of.
podcasting when I'm like 65 70 where I. can do it from the comfort of my own. home yeah get the creative Outlet be. funny yeah we're going to want to be. funny still but stand up with the. traveling and like writing a new hour. and putting all the effort in I think. like uh a while ago I was like if I. could make nine hours of published stand. up throughout my whole career yeah then. you're good I feel like I did it Justin. said like almost the exact same thing. remember we were backstage and he goes.
I'm working on my six hour or something. like that and he goes I think this is it. because he goes I want to for hours yeah. he goes I want to look at it like a a. discography yes and he goes I want to be. proud of all them and he should be all. his [ __ ] is great and he was like when. I'm when I reach the thing I want to be. at he goes then I don't put out hours. anymore because you save your legacy. that's what he wants because I think. there is there is a little bit of that. of like it's like a band man when an old. band comes back together like Metallica. you're like can you guys stop we. wouldn't saw him at MetLife and I was.
like this is a bummer should I not go. I'm gonna go see them this Sunday they. they're here they Rock it's just not. who Metallica I'm gonna be honest do you. want to go on Sunday with me. I love that let's go go to the show I'm. gonna say this. I love Metallica I've Loved Metallica my. whole life. for the first time seeing Metallica it. felt like James Hetfield was old oh no. oh you felt it I I was like. oh man I I love Metallica but it is it's.
the same like as a professional. wrestling fan when you watch them get. too old and you're like don't get in the. ring like Ric Flair you're like stop. getting in the ring you don't need to. get there but you want them to be. associated with it still right. in the world somehow if they can be in a. way that makes sense right in a way that. makes them doesn't it's it's what. Jeselnik was saying like you want to. leave a legacy where you're like don't. come back and make it [ __ ] Eddie Murphy. should not come back to stand up comedy. there's no Legacy. there's no Legacy yes there is there is.
no Legacy look let me see something. who's one of the best Comics that died. in the last 10 years Patrice right yeah. none of the kids know him that's not. true that's not true they don't I think. I think okay you're naming someone who's. well if you have no hours out maybe. there's no Legacy uh oh that's a shot oh. no why did you look at me when why. didn't you look at me when you said it. did I tell you that I noticed that too. yeah. you took the shots. and say it yeah take the shot if you're.
gonna take the shot take the shot you're. gonna shoot a guy in the back yeah yeah. that's what you do no you shoot him you. know what he did do these Sucker Punch. you yeah yeah he looked at you boom and. punched you without even just say it you. [ __ ] go ahead. and I was just saying the Legacy thing. you know that you have to put Instagram. I love how ready he's getting go ahead. yeah go ahead slow down you have to put. something out there to get a legacy I. know what I'm saying though is is that I.
know so many great Comics that have died. right sure Greg no electricity okay but. what he's saying is if you've built up. if you built up something no one has it. in this day and age there's no in 100. years the future people are gonna go oh. look at um Caligula by Anthony jeselnak. they're not going to say that someone. might one guy who gives the [ __ ] you're. dead no but he's not saying it for. himself. [Music]. take the Legacy thing out yeah as if. fans of yours yeah.
if you come see me live. but that's the Jay Leno Theory that's. what he said yeah come see me live He's. not gonna put out hours because he says. just come see me live until I don't do. it anymore really that's his whole thing. he did an interview with rolling stone. or something like that where he kind. they were saying how come you don't put. out specials like everyone in your. generation is doing now like Romano put. out one and he was like yeah he says. come see me tonight. yeah he's got to go hey guys. you seen this you heard about this. apparently I'm gonna say like I mean I. mean like Legacy is this is a weird.
thing okay how about this when Seinfeld. dies will he have a legacy I've never. seen him perform I think Seinfeld should. not have put out that Netflix special. the one where it was all the old jokes I. don't think he should have done anything. after I'm telling you for the last time. right right that was such an iconic way. to close with the funeral at the end. yeah or at the beginning and it was like. all of his classic jokes in one tight. HBO special I think you hit hard what. when you said I sleep away with my. sadness oh you brought that back yeah.
I'm bringing that back I know I've been. thinking about that just now. okay yeah. all right so what I'm saying is that. what you did what you did. what you did dude yeah nope like 911 I. will never forget never dude okay what. you did was [ __ ] put a plane inside. my body yeah two of them all right you. know what and I'm falling right now dude. and what you did dude I'm never doing.
your movies. last week that movie that you wanted me. to do it. Bobby I'm gonna tell you right now a lot. of people a lot of people say fancy they. say that he took the lessons on how to. take off but never had a land yeah. [Music]. but let's be honest you are very this is.
very nine eleven because you do. self-implode this is what are you doing. now dude nothing yeah whoa dude I'm. saying you literally it just looks like. maybe the planes didn't do as much. damage as some of the internal inside. job. I don't know if his comment can melt. steel beams. yeah. [Music].
and if you were around the fancy Bobby. comment please check in because you. might have some carcinogenics. blah bro though oh my God I'm never. gonna forget I don't think you're gonna. I don't think you'll quit I think you'll. transition to something else what are. you trying to drive me into a different. [ __ ] genre. you're gonna be the best plumber. and honestly I'm gonna give you this.
number while we're doing this podcast. and they're going to get you and they're. going to get you enrolled you're gonna. be I mean it's gonna be sick yeah yeah I. think you should take it you know I'm. not gonna be more serious no I'm gonna. what I think you should take your music. ability more serious what do you you are. you getting started a podcast with him. no well I'd love to and what's your. dream though. our friendship will not be uh will not. be changed and this podcast won't be. changed by the fact that I do support. you digging deeper into your music. abilities and your love of music okay it.
is funny I want you to do it it is funny. how podcasts isn't this nice I'm giving. the guy a [ __ ] huge compliment yeah. there's nothing underneath it there's. nothing underneath okay. it's funny that podcasting's like The. Swinging of Comedy where you go like. what are you guys gonna do a podcast you. go like no it looks like you'd be down. with that. I mean we haven't really talked about it. but yeah if we're just like sitting. around riffing you know like maybe just. no I think it was a genuine compliment I.
mean that that was yeah let me take a. shot okay let me ask you something. you're real though right he he produces. a show right kinda yeah kind of he he. also has something to do with my other. one too yeah right yeah he's always. around he's always around right yeah. what how do you feel about his comment. be real though the part that upset me go. ahead and I'm just gonna tell you this. is someone that witnessed it the part. that upset me was that he looked at. Andrew when he said he does that and I. know that because when he said here's.
just where I was sitting okay the. comment happens and I go. put out an hour yeah and then I went oh. my God. and then oh my God he's talking about. Bobby. and I and I'm gonna tell you this right. now I have felt guilty since the moment. you said you you thought we were teaming. up on you right so I'm I'm in defense. and Bobby mode and so when I noticed. that the shot wasn't it right it was. that you that there was a gunman on the. grassy Knolls yeah take an aim okay okay.
maybe it's I've been molested okay yeah. so when it's happening to you as a kid. okay right yeah I know is this happening. yeah and you try like you're in a. different fantasy in your mind like well. you know I'm playing baseball with my. you know my friends. when he was saying that to him that's. what I was feeling yeah where am I so he. molested your people. you just came in you molested his mind. did you molested my mind you just came. in and played with his mind penis. and he had to fantasize you were talking.
about Andrew yeah I did how dare you. were talking about Santino and you're. over here [ __ ] [ __ ] touching his. brain dead anyway you don't feel bad. about it dude I apologize sorry really. yeah. all right we talked a little bit before. you showed up by the way I want your. gauge on this Bobby's got a couple of. the of sex toys the [ __ ] toys oh yeah. the ones with the mouth have you ever. done these things uh I did at moon tower. they gave us a flashlight yeah we all.
use that and I went upstairs and used it. once and it made me feel like a serial. killer yeah cleaning it the second I was. oh I didn't I [ __ ] spunking that. [ __ ] and threw away. DraftKings sports book can you believe. we had seven months without an NFL game. Andrew tell you I was bummed about it. I've been watching all preseason I love. it let's go it's crazy right well good. thing that's over NFL is here and. DraftKings Sportsbook an official sports. betting partner of the NFL is giving you. a can't miss offer to for week one this.
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888-789-777 or visit. ccpg.org please play responsibly on. behalf of Boot Hill Casino Resort KS 21. plus age varied by jurisdiction vote in. Ontario c c d k n g dot Co slash. football for eligibility terms. responsible responsible gaming resources. bonus bets expire seven days after. issuance eligibility and deposit. restrictions apply let's stop talking. about sex man okay too much sex for you. yeah let's let's try it let's do an. exercise here bud all right okay let's. go with this extreme opposite show him.
that clip right show him this woman look. at this Korean woman from the hood. because Korean I ever seen. since I've been here. what's wrong with the house phone. two hour oh [ __ ] wait watch him she.
calls. Rocky call me I've been calling you I. don't know what are you with. that [ __ ] that's my problem in. the fish is here. I love her [ __ ] out there. fishing this [ __ ] yeah yeah bro what was. the exercise. what is it would you talk about. something completely different what do. you want to talk about Mr Kim in the. hood that's Mrs Kim in the hood they. said she makes the best collard greens. butterflies buddy. you know this guy yeah all right so I.
was before the hurricane. I've been out on my patio and just in. the sun sure right there's a lot of. butterflies out yeah okay and what I. realized is that butterflies they fly. together and they would dance no they're. mating. sex dude when they're flying in tandem. they're amazing what did you do yeah you. brought it right here. and you're over here birds and bees how. do you know because why are they flying. were they in an area Studio 54 like boom. boom fun they're just [ __ ] and what.
did they do in studio 54. they danced so. they could go [ __ ] I see which oh [ __ ]. you're right okay taking the air out of. my chair dude. okay okay look at them [ __ ] dude. that's butterfly porn they do [ __ ] them. butterflies everything does buddy you're. one of my favorite moments ever like a. dad one of our favorite everything [ __ ]. yeah yeah seventh grade seventh grade. the toughest kid in my neighborhood. David Clark it's always first name last. name David Clark he would always talk.
[ __ ] to the teacher we were in Mr Coons. the science class and he first off got. kicked out one day for just putting cart. he got bored so he started putting. Carmax on his shaved head. yeah he goes I thought it'd be funny and. then one day he was like a big kid yeah. this is before he got sent to military. school he's just sitting in science. class and he goes. hey Mr Coons how did we learn about. mosses and Moss and stuff he goes hey Mr. Coons how do mosses [ __ ] like that and. everyone was like. he's like get the hell out of here.
legitimate question legitimate Science. question he was saying that he's leaving. he goes I'm sorry that's a science. question that technically is the science. question and I realized as an adult I'm. like if you phrased it different yeah. it's a great question you just stayed in. the class yeah but that's a story of our. whole lives guys like us was like man. you should have just done it a different. way I know what you were trying to do. but that's why you're think you're funny. always go the other way because he. kicked him out and then he went. now reproductive wise so you're going to.
answer the question you got you it's an. honest question you just have to get. there the right way that was the thing I. could never do that in school me neither. that's why us guy that's why Comics yeah. we always were trying to find the tricky. funny way to do the thing to get away. with it because even though we knew we. were smart enough to go I know this is. going to get me in trouble but it's. gonna it's gonna be great and then I'm. gonna tell my parents I'm just I just. drew a dick and gave it to the health. teacher it was just a dick they gave us. pictures of dicks I got suspended in. seventh grade because we were learning. about onomatopoeias and acronyms and I.
was just doing like wild. onomatopoeia acronyms like Splat and I. would like write out like a crazy [ __ ]. and my teacher was like what is this it. was like aliens barfing on this chair. and I like write this like crazy ass. [ __ ] and they were like we gotta suspend. you you can't be right in that and then. my mom was like. technically you do the assignment yeah. you did it yeah yeah what do you want me. to do lady so can I play Nintendo 64 or.
not are you gonna take it out of the. basement or can I go downstairs and play. Nintendo because definitely I've still. lived in the basement by the way it was. the only place you the Nintendo 64. couldn't get on a second floor yeah. that's Subterranean game how to stay. deep in a cave that's what we did when. we played for some reason when we all. played like games like that like like uh. when we play double 07 and [ __ ] it was. always in the dark we would always turn. off all the lights for no other reason. that it was like made me feel like. that's what you grew up with I grew up.
with intellivision. I mean yeah Santino and I were seniors. in high school and Playstation 2 came. out wow which you were like this [ __ ]. rules was a huge thing we liked. techmobile but we had we had the. advancement from your generation ours. was insane I mean you guys were. literally playing techno bowl and we. were playing NCAA college football which. you could then take your guy and move.
him to Madden yeah you had like there. was like a whole world you could play. through EA Sports I I had a kid in high. school tonight as an element in the game. get it in television and and there's an. RPG but the RPG was a dot yeah that was. your character right oh my God and they. were just walls right because he goes. hey man I'm in a dungeon right now I'm. always like holy [ __ ] and he goes check. this out and he put the dot against this. like line and he hit it a couple of. times he goes it's a secret room it was.
just another little square but it was a. secret room but I was like mind-boggling. is there a dragon in there you know what. I mean it's insane that you guys grew up. with a Nintendo yeah I remember those. little game boy came out and I gotta I. got a Game Boy for my birthday and my. dad was trying to do my mom so he's like. yeah I bought you a bunch of games and I. was like let's go but he bought me. Nintendo games because he thought they. went into the game I remember taking. Mario Brothers three in my game boy. going C and my dad's like all right I.
got it's got to be an adapter. you guys ever put that snake game on. grew up with them. I'll do I'm Advanced look at him now. I saw your whole brain acting I think I. think the game that shocked me the most. like visually that I was so into doom on. PC was crazy dude on PC because I was.
like if you remember they're all. immersive the original game Doom was. like it was Duke Nukem but also it's a. spear of destiny yes and my [ __ ] big. dick Nick big dick my stepdad was super. into computers and he was like oh do you. want to play this game called Spear of. Destiny and I was like you're shooting. Nazis and he was like yeah and I. remember him loading that up on the. computer me being like am I allowed to. touch this computer this is very. Advanced I [ __ ] love it I love that. and I love turak dinosaur hunter turret.
was [ __ ] red you didn't know any of. those games I didn't know anything about. it and then and then GoldenEye comes out. and you're like well that changed again. Perfect Dark that was tourak dinosaur. hunter. look at the cover zoom in look at how. dope that cover is yeah 64 was for me. the game changer was Nintendo 1064 did. do everything for me Nintendo 64 even. the first Mario you're like that's the. future but see could they pitch that. today him stabbing a dinosaur in the. throat like that's that new uh Adam. Driver movie what uh 74 65 65. this is.
that's two Rock dinosaur hunter all. right yeah. they just did that movie where they were. like what if uh Adam Driver fights. dinosaurs that's sick they just by the. way I just saw a preview for a movie. that's gonna come out about uh I about. GameStop the GameStop Bitcoin I heard it. I heard Paul Daniels in it yeah and I. heard he's the star I heard it [ __ ]. rich I mean it looks amazing preview one. of my friends saw a screening of it and. said it [ __ ] it's about the Game Stop. you know to the you know they were.
[ __ ] yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah but. it's Paul Dano Seth Rogen uh uh Pete. Davidson and and uh Sebastian Stan yeah. yeah dude the trailer I was like holy. [ __ ] and Dano he's so he's the best he's. so like uh small and so good at small. stuff he's the he is our like uh Philip. Seymour Hoffman he's like no that's a. really good call he just can do. everything he can be the Riddler he can. be a a dick wad in this and Pete is Pete.
Pete he's doing Pizza. what he's doing no one's doing Pete. better than Pete yeah Pete's peting. right there I love I always love when. you see Pete movies because you go yeah. he just wore that there yeah he's like. oh no I don't feel like changing oh I. don't know all these quick supporters. suck. it is true though he's gotten away with. that the fight like just being him the. most it's that's gotten him the furthest. it's honestly for a lot of us is it's a. good lesson of just like be yourself. more yeah it's not gonna why why change.
but also I was explaining that to my. little sister about how she's like. she's saying oh so-and-so it wasn't in. reference to him but it was like oh that. guy always does that in in whenever I. see him and it's like yeah that's. because they do the best at that thing. why would they shift I saw that Ricky. Gervais said that years ago when he was. like really blowing up after the office. and all this [ __ ] and he was like. getting all those movies and stuff he. was like sometimes I see people in a you. know he's like people criticize me they. say you do the same thing he goes but.
sometimes I prefer someone that does the. same thing incredibly versus a lot of. things okay yeah right he's like so I'm. doing one thing but I do it the best. yeah instead of Jack of all trades. master and none you want you might as. well just do the thing that you're the. [ __ ] thing when I see Danny McBride I. want to see him Danny McBride yeah well. that's why that's why I Will Ferrell has. always been Will Ferrell whether you. like it or not he stayed well for 25. [ __ ] years he made George Bush. lovable yeah dude you like saw George W. bush and you're like well I I like in my.
mind it's the Will Ferrell version same. thing well same thing growing up at. Chicago Harry Mary like we knew Harry. Caray as kids but when Will Ferrell did. it it was like I almost remember Will. Ferrell more than I remember Harry Carey. yeah you remember that it was just crazy. impression of him who uh. who I think one time flirted with my mom. Harry carried it yeah at a bar yeah. flirted with my mom and I think uh. think I might be uh that's so good. Harry's boy. give your boy a base.
yeah your mom's like Oh I understand. what's up with the little redhead oh. oh okay. all right. okay here's here's the deal yeah I'm. being real I know. when I first met you the first time that. you were even in my like um visual um. Range yeah was maybe a couple years ago. it was only about four or two it's only.
yeah yeah and I and I I go I I had heard. your name but I couldn't put a face of. the name and then and then you were like. I'm Dan Soder in the hallway there at. the store and I go oh okie dokie every. time I think about I say okie dokie and. then um. and then years and then all of a sudden. there's algorithms and stuff and then. you would pop up on my thing and then. but then I hadn't seen you until you. came to my house yeah right and I didn't. know how it was gonna go yeah it went.
excellent yeah it was very fun it was so. excellent yeah and you and I have a good. chemistry great and I think we respect. each other yeah absolutely but I think. that um in my mind and in my heart. what's so funny nothing why are you. laughing I'm being real hey you're funny. in my mind and my heart I believe that. you're a part of my regime. you're a part of my company you're part. of my uh what your troop I like that. yeah I I and you're always going to be. in my heart can I tell you something go. ahead I always uh obviously known of you.
uh watch you on Mad TV thank you. um I was there when you hosted my first. episode of Live at Gotham was the. episode before yours don't remember in. in New York in 09 yeah so I'd always. been around you but never really met you. yeah you didn't meet me that night no. because I I didn't I didn't do well and. I wanted to go get drunk oh I see okay. oh those were tough yeah it sucked I. hated watching them made me anxious yeah.
um but now when I got to go do. tigerbelly because I had met you in the. store and I met you briefly at a. festival but we never really got to hung. out. doing going over to your house and. hanging out with you then getting lunch. I was like man not only do I get why. everybody loves this guy but I [ __ ]. love this dude I'll go to war for Bobby. Lee thank you I was like dude that guy. [ __ ] rules if you talk to anybody. that I talked to after I went to Bert's. house right after that yeah I was like. Bobby leaves the [ __ ] man yeah we.
just had a great life he said yeah he. agreed yeah yeah he agreed okay but I'm. telling you and I've Loved this [ __ ]. Ginger I love this [ __ ] guy This. Ginger Snap and I are the same age and. we just [ __ ] you know this this right. here is the best it's the best the. future and the past it's the present I. love it well I gotta tell you it's all. three it's uh you're dead to me it's a. goddamn Legacy Bobby I love you though. pork thank you for being a big friend. [Music].
