Sick In Japan | Ep 256 | Bad Friends

hey bad friends I have only two cities. left on my tour before I film my special. this weekend Boston massachusett it's. Boston I love you so much you've always. done me right I have four shows at the. Wilbur in Boston this weekend bring your. loves out for Valentine's Day then. February 21 and 22 Minneapolis let's go. baby I'm shooting my special for Hulu in. Minneapolis Minnesota come see me go to. Andrew san.com for those tickets Andrew. Santino. docomo. hello it's me B on toast hello and who.

are you I'm squeaky the Pete squeaky the. Pete boys and girls ladies and gentlemen. you waited for it you wanted we're. coming to London and Dublin we're coming. dude tomorrow pre-sale for the artist. starts tomorrow the code is bad friends. we're going to be in London and Dublin. July 18th and 19th 18th and 19th we'll. be there you got to come because we may. not come for a while after that we may. not come for a while after that London. and Dublin we're coming to see you we're. so excited artist pre-sale starts. tomorrow the code is bad friends and. then it's on to the public on uh Friday.

February 14th get the artist pre-sale. ticket so they don't jack up the prices. everyone on the internet go get them get. it Cod is bad friends you two are bad. friends who are these two idiots a white. dude and an Asian dude you two are. disgusting you two are something we're. bad. friends. oh oh it's so. good it's so good to be free.

and an American. amer. am I love you did you see the protest. this morning in San Diego that's what I. love about America we can protest what. was it about they were they were mad at. ice oh yeah and oh dude and then. tomorrow hey are you are you gonna not. work. tomorrow Carlos oh because y'all because. of the protest against Dei no no. tomorrow what they're doing.

Hispanics are going to do a no work day. so what do you mean it's like every day. for. them exactly no but you better not be. working tomorrow dude I have to be here. at yeah he has to work tomorrow oh my. God he's a Traer Trader no I'm. working I'm legal I'm legal no yeah the. people that are legal are also. protesting for their people yeah don't. you get it I asked about my maid in. Houston and apparently she's. fine she's illegal well that's good well. I need is fine no Marina okay L's say.

listen uh I want to say something up. front if I may that's wrong that's wrong. and if one day we're going to have a. Korean protest mm yeah yeah for what. what what's the protest no more we're. not going to make be and Bop day well. what will we do without b b b you know. what we else we're going to do we're. going to dig dig back our kimchi up from. the ground they so they don't ferment. for one day dude wow yeah I don't like. that yeah I know dude you want them to I. like.

um also those girls at the karaoke. they're not working no yeah dude those. what are those glass girls what do they. call them grass. girls what do they call them I don't. know but let me say this Donald Trump. please don't get rid of Koreans like we. we please Mexicans are fine get rid of. them get rid of how about the ones that. came over here illegally Koreans the. Koreans yeah do Koreans come over here. illegally no we follow the. rules we're law viting I got to say. something while the the woman who cleans.

the house sometimes your house I got. scared cuz I thought what if she is she. going to get gone and then I asked her. and I said uh I said hey you know if uh. you know if I got to blow the whistle. should you know what what do I do yeah I. did and she said I'm from New. Mexico and I was like what really yeah. she's from Albuquerque I have accent. yeah it's so thick I had no idea no well. then she's lying she's a lying bastard. okay you me and I'll be here I'll show.

you how it went I'm you yeah good. morning. um hey uh Wanita her name's just say. Maria oh sorry hey Maria oh hi M Andrew. you know I'm very concerned about what's. going on with the Trump thing and stuff. yeah yeah so um anything I can do to. help you know maybe more money. pleas wait where are you from you're. from Mexico right. har oh you know Jon Jones.

of. course I did I I do love her so much. what would I do I said she could live at. our house mine live with us last week. yeah I gave her so I I Veno her the. money you don't give her cash no venmo. got to give him cash which what look. what I did though cuz they got to pay. taxes on that I gave her 200 cash on top. of the money oo cuz I never thought I. was going to see her. again that's it I swear to God $200 well. like it was like like like hey thanks. for all the. laughs because you know I make fun of.

her when she's you know what I mean I. get it so I just want you know senorita. here I don't I don't know her name but I. you don't know her name yeah I do I. don't want to say it though this woman. is like the love of my I love her she's. honestly like a m i trust M do you play. games with yours all the time we play no. not those kind of games she never comes. and finds me yeah yeah she just goes to. work I go. Marco and they go po po. [Applause]. [Laughter]. but um let me say this Trump come on do.

it leave the Koreans leave the Koreans. alone also leave the Mexicans alone nah. get them out of here because now check. it out dude who's going to do those jobs. no you're not straw oh yeah you look. like you strawberry strawberry love. strawberries yeah I'd eat so many what. would I could I do you think I could. pick. cotton do you think I could no how many. little swabs I don't know how it works. do you go swab by swab it's swab by swab. is it a puff what do you call it a a a.

that's a good yeah how do you do do you. use a Skye no do they do by a sky well. is that a real word in stard Valley we. use Sky oh Skye yeah to get wheat Oh you. mean like a sickle is it called a sickle. or a Skye sickle sickle okay what's a. Skye then dude I hope to God that you. read sickle as Skye I no I think there's. a sky dude if I I'll kill myself I'm not. going to say you're wrong I've been. seeing sky for years dude because it's. start is it Sky I know what a it's got a. curve to it that's a sickle like a grim. reaper that's sickle that's not a sickle.

it's a Skye that's a Skye no a sickle is. a. handheld a hammer in a sick sky is that. dude with a hook sky right that's a Skye. okay what's a. sickle for what I'm right bastard you. dumb Dum you're all dumb Dums dude slow. down there all right for once I'm right. it's almost the exact same thing yeah. right a sickle a sky is just a longer. handed exactly you don't use a sickle. when you cut cotton you don't know it's. a Sky Theater you [ __ ] head I do you. don't yeah I get the ones far oh you.

know what I mean I pick the ones close. and I get the ones far dude cotton is. just by hand right it's just pick pick. pick oh my God can I wear gloves I don't. think so I think that's part of it I. think I can you know what I I would use. those gloves that they use in the. football games with the gigantic like. finger ones number one yeah how do they. pick cotton today I do want to know I. actually don't know it's a got to be a. big machine a big machine that Forks it. up right today cotton is almost. exclusively picked by using large. machines called cotton Pickers which.

sounds. racist but dude you know little white. boy get away from that cotton. picker but back in the day do you think. in the 1800s you think you you would not. be able to do it no way we would you and. me we'd fold immediately you know but my. back would hurt you would be sweating I. would be singing. swing. swinger sweeter.

tell Dude you be singing with me that's. the movie we should make dude you got to. do the Irish song You and I in the Irish. accent let me start yeah. swinger sweeter. Chariot dude we would get nothing done. get and then you would smoke and light a. field on fire on accident oh yeah we. would get fire oh well it's interesting. they never got little people to do. cotton paint CU it's so low to the. ground you don't have to bend over oh. that's good you send him out yeah go go.

go go yeah yeah yeah that'd be great. it's crazy we could we would never last. if we weren't in this do you realize if. we weren't living right now you and I. would be [ __ ] that's you know you know. when people say that and I I argue. against it what would we do in another. time because I'm going to say something. okay I'm the way I am is because of the. environment that I'm. in hear me out D no I you laugh at me. you mock me dude but I'm going to tell. you something right now you know I just. do what's. necessary no yes I do what's I've always. done what's necessary better mean. minimum yeah but just survival right.

yeah right so back then I would do the. bare minimal but I would still be able. to survive and eat and all that stuff so. I would work you think so cuz a lot of. people went starve to death because they. did did the bare minimum if you couldn't. contribute you were gone you were dead. bare minimum today you get away with. anything you want okay yeah you know. what I'm saying no no keep saying. because because bare minimum today just. you can get by but you have so many. resources back then what would you do to. get food you're not going to hunt yeah.

but I would have I would have developed. a different skill set what do you think. your skill set would have been that's my. point I would be. omelets omelet station no no what I'm. saying is I would probably make it came. out wrong these days with a price of. eggs no I would I would have figured. something else out I would have also. done like maybe prostitution so you'd. hook yourself out I would do something. that's going to be or you know I know. what I would do Opium Den I would do. something kind of borderline illegal. right oh you know mean right this way Mr.

John you know what I mean and I would. sit down right and I would Supply i'. have that supply chain going okay well. that that's not the minimum that's good. that's lot that's good work e think yeah. it would say Mr. Le Mr yeah Mr re I just I see the. [ __ ] font oh I see it now I see the. lights right it's like Vegas yes Mr re. right premium. opium right discount for white wait why. I just get people in get them in get the. bodies in there will say no you know the.

other who's not allowed got it I get it. like who guess who might well no hats no. loose fitting clothes I get people do. yeah no what yeah no Timberland boots I. know. you're yeah yeah no fuboo I'm going to. have different things in there right. that's going to like make my your store. shine what foot massages they got that I. know I know but I'll do other things. like um Brazilian wax this is all going. back red eyebrows you're selling your. body manicures yeah yeah I'll stick sit.

on your dick all right this is all you a. hooker this is you this all is just a. front for you being a hooker no it's not. no it's not yeah that's last case that's. first Case Case close first of all have. you ever tried to have sex when you're. on opium have you yeah it's impossible I. how this I've had I've tried to have sex. on opio opioids yeah yeah it's hard even. opioids it's hard you can't get hard. it's hard it's hard to get hard yeah. it's hard to get hard so I would like if. if some white Burly guy was like jacked. up on my. premium opium like straight from like.

you know I mean the Opium opium right. from the Opium yeah right from the Opium. straight from the tap right from it. right and they're still able to go hey. man you know I mean get your butt over. here you know what I mean I would be. like oh [ __ ] this one I have to do it. got to do it yeah yeah have I saw a t. Tik Tok video the other day there's. people just posting how to make cocaine. on Tik Tok do you know this yeah I they. put it behind different kinds of music. but there was like guys that were it was. just like with music and he was just. showing like the cocoa leaves in the.

barrel and all that stuff they're just. now cocoa leaves are different than. cacao Cacao is chocolate chocolate right. okay good I but they're cousins are they. really chocolate and Coca coca cocaine. coca leaves and Coca chocolate I think. are like cousin plants really I think so. cacao and Co Like Cocaine leaves yeah. because Co it's and cacao leaves yeah. coca the plant yeah it's worldwide. psychoactive alkaloid. cocaine so if I let's first of all and.

then chocolate plant is is the Coco. plant right yeah but like before there. was cocaine if you and I were living in. that time and you you and I cow sorry. yeah we were Wanderers right yeah we're. just Wanderer you and I noads noads when. we saw that leaf we wouldn't know what. to do with it well they started chewing. on it that's how they found out the. powers of it they chewed on it and gave. them energy yeah but then who was like. oh this be great in a powder up my nose. like who came up with that who started. cocaine Mexicans and how how why would. you think that you could do that like.

here's what we're saying right Albert. nean isolated an active ingredient of Co. COC leaves which he named cocaine well. that's like I found out you know how you. know how microwaves were invented oh. [ __ ] teach me there was a guy who had a. bar of chocolate in his pocket and he. was working near a a uh a a radiator a. radioactive uh radiator or whatever and. it melted like because he was standing. next to it and he was like oh [ __ ] are. you being real right now like you made. that up look it up how microwave watch. the first microwave it was a guy he had.

a [ __ ] bar of chocolate in his pocket. and he it melted cuz he was too close to. this radiator or whatever that's called. I'm saying it wrong American engineer. Percy Spencer Spencer was working with a. radar set when he noticed a candy bar in. his pocket had melted he discovered the. magnetron tube in the radar set was. emitting microwaves that generated heat. melting the bar of chocolate in his. pocket that's how [ __ ] dumb we are we. find all this [ __ ] on acent accident so. all accident yeah in. therapy this is so shameful I've never. shared this before no you have to but.

I did something in third. grade about the microwave anyway can I I. was living in. Minnesota and there was a girl that. lived next to me and there was a rumor. that she put a rabbit in a microwave. yeah and exploded a pet. rabbit yeah and I when I found the rumor. right I was so mad I mean I never met a. rabbit but I was just I just remember as. a kid going [ __ ] [ __ ] explore.

rabbits man can't do that yeah that's. [ __ ] [ __ ] man bad right so I I. would every time she would walk by in. class I would go rabbit. killer and she didn't do it well it was. just a rumor right and one time she. cried in class you kept calling her. rabbit rabbit killer yeah yeah yeah and. then the teacher brought me on in front. of the class and sat me down in the. chair in front of the whole class and. goes you're short you know what I mean. you're little what how does that feel.

like he was belittling me in front of. the class because I was make and I. started to cry yeah and it Tau taught me. a really big lesson here's a lesson even. if it's a rumor you don't say [ __ ] dude. keep it to yourself keep it to yourself. also what also that. teacher what we got to get that guy we. do where the [ __ ] is he belittling my. friend in front of people did that makes. you mad that pisses me off I wouldn't. put up with that [ __ ] really leave him. alone you would have said that in class. I would have been so mad if somebody.

belittled my friend in class oh yeah. yeah I I think now you can do it I've SE. Tik Tok videos where students talk back. the one kid is my favorite that's like. instead of you you ought to be love that. I love that yeah yeah instead of yeah. yeah what he's like well no no you make. it up to me he like yeah you know you. know you know Charles Charles you know I. just I you don't you don't pay attention. in class right and you're you're not. putting your essays in early you wonder. why kids are failing hold hold on hold. on you wonder why let me get over again.

I'm not a good teacher you skip a few. classes you don't. remember so Charles yeah you know I'm. you know I'm tired of your attitude you. come to class late right you don't seem. to like be interested in your book. work right and your essays are all over. the place I mean what is going on PL pal. you know you don't really care about us. as youth you don't invest in US you. don't care about our issues and what we. care about all you want to do is get a. paycheck and that's dis disappointing to. me and maybe if you showed a little bit.

more love to the students and cared. about our world and what was important. to us maybe just maybe we create a. better environment and a better future. that's so good you don't even have to. look that up that was good dude I would. never be able to do that yeah you would. there's no way dude do yours I can't do. it there's no way I can't even all right. try Kevin Kevin yeah you don't pay. attention and your essays are late and I. want to know who you think you are. screwing up my class not paying. attention and goofing off yeah that's.

what I'm talking about man your. generation the algorithms of your. superiority man us kids we just want to. learn by tactile approach by touching. feeling right learning through our own. physical experiences man there's other. ways that we can learn you know not just. analytical well you're failing I exactly. but if you taught me the right way with. love and empathy right I'd be able to. absorb the information maybe that's very. good but the beginning the algorithm. Part I. that I didn't know what I was doing.

there I don't know how even know how to. look that up but that kid was so. powerful had such a great speech I could. have never snap back at a teacher we. never did that yeah we never did that we. got in dude we got in so much trouble. all the time you couldn't say [ __ ] back. you couldn't go to the bathroom if you. go to the bathroom you're [ __ ] I have. to go to the bathroom too bad well I'm. going to go well you're going to I'm a. student ready mhm you're a teacher mhm. Mr Stevenson yeah you know I don't know. what bathroom to. use because I don't feel comfortable in. the men bathroom even though I was born.

male right but there like you know I get. stares when I go to the women's bathroom. we got to do something as a school stand. up that's it stand up that's enough. stand up okay what take your pants off. all right. what that's. interesting and. scene even the teacher doesn't know. yeah I don't know what that is yeah I. wouldn't be a good teacher because not. because I I don't I don't know knowledge.

and I don't have any topic you got a lot. of knowledge but yeah what what if I had. to be. forced to be a teacher at a school with. the things that I know what would it be. about well Star Wars you could do some. sort of uh but I'm not that Star Wars no. but I'm saying you could do like Star. Tre Star Trek film you could do film or. television Theory you could do TV Theory. right production maybe maybe media media. what is that media production you could. do that you could do you could do an.

entrepreneurial class a digital. entrepreneur you think so how to start. your own business on the Internet it's. literally your whole life but you could. do more than me the [ __ ] I could I I. don't know math I don't know science. bowling oh B Sports yeah yeah yeah golf. yep I could do yeah like I know but. still PE that you could be a coach I am. a gym teacher a gym teacher I would be. gym teacher um I think you would know. about hipop history of Hip Hop and music. yeah but I don't think a white redheaded. guy can teach that I think that needs to. change I do too yeah yeah yeah oh I.

could do probably um like more of punk. you know I mean art rock you know I mean. the history his of punk or the history. of alternative music maybe I could do. you could do alt music but by the way. think about this now the generations. below us how old is like Nirvana to them. now it's so crazy think about that it's. classic music now we have a radio. station here in La called K Earth 101. and when I first moved to LA it was the. oldies which was the 50s 60s and' 7s now. it's the 70s ' 80s and 90 I can't. believe it that's oldies the '90s the.

'90s is oldies 70s ' 80s and '90s so. creep is an oldie yes that's song Creep. yes how about I'm a Loser by Beck oldie. that's not an oldie that's a Nee dude. it's a goodie but it's an it's a good we. oh w wow what's a what's a newie chapel. rone that's a newie [ __ ] Sabrina. Carpenter that's a. newie wow we're oldie buddy oh my God I. feel that with um Styles be newie he's.

newish newish newi isy yeah yeah because. there you got to think remember that kid. that was at the show he was 16 years old. you think of his world we're old we're. [ __ ] old dude then why does he like. us cuz we're new we're new. she you know that song I don't know the. lyrics but it's a hairy style. song I'm way on the Stars oh down this. way and. yeah.

M what is the song. wait this yeah this is I can do in dudes. I can do it in dudes I can't do it in. yeah yeah I can do anything in dudes. you're a chter I'm a doter dude but that. song one day if that song becomes a like. an oldie I hangy we. be sh. oh my god without if you have an online.

business and you don't have Shopify you. do you're not doing a good you're not. doing a good job that's for sure because. no one does selling better than Shopify. it's home with the number one checkout. on the planet we've been shipping you. guys merch since we started this show. and thankfully for Shopify it makes it. so simple so easy put into one easy to. ous place for us and for you so if. you're into growing your business which. you all should be you should be your. your Commerce platform better be ready. to sell whenever your customers are. scrolling or strolling on the web in the.

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Box new subscribers only varies by plan. that's up to 10 free hellofresh meals. just go to hellofresh.com. badri1 FM hellofresh America's number. one meal kit that would mean that I'm. just too old we're well that like what. we like we're son like it's like our. Sinatra you I mean we're going to get. there that Harry Styles will one day be. like Sinatra he I mean he for that oh my. God for that generation is he not Shalom. is kind of.

like not I was going to say Newman but. Shalom is kind of like who's the best. comparatively old actor to Shalom he. would be. like Paul Newman's not too far off yeah. it's like a Robert. Dao but but the Nero was very brand. specific right Brando was more. broad Newman was more W more more more. like him because he was very. traditionally Stuart Jimmy was more. Jimmy had a lot of character-based stuff. too like he was very kind of uh I don't.

know yeah it's. hard think about this God he's good. though huh he's the best shom. unbelievable that kid 200 years AG go. from now what is the music going to be. like to us it's going to be like right. don't you think you know it'll be. [Laughter]. like yeah yeah and people are just at. the club dancing to that we're going to. be like what is this turn that [ __ ]. music.

down right and we're like what the [ __ ]. and there's a singer going ding he's. going to ding he's going to yeah. ding right and we're like what is this. but the kids are be like you're old you. don't get it yeah you guys like. lyrics right and like you know Melody. what's melody yeah loser oh my God and. what are what is movies going to be like. [ __ ] it's going to be all around us we. will V yeah we'll be living in a movie.

imagine like you're in The Avengers cuz. they're going to do another Avengers 100. years from now they have to keep making. they're going to remake it right but now. you know what I mean I'm going to be the. cab. driver you know that Cal driver that. just dies yeah you know what I mean yeah. cuz I was watching Avengers yesterday. again for the 90th time I get bored you. got to and I look at all the extras. right the lady goes ah you know what I. mean with a briefcase down the street. you know what I mean and I go what is. where is she going you know yeah where. is she going but I also looked up the.

Avengers that New York. scene I go approximate how many people. died in that last scene 2600 people died. there Jesus that scene 2600 people died. and no one gives a [ __ ] about those. people they're. gone. wow God yeah what is Cinema's going to. be us I guess it's just going to be a. live it'll be a thing that's happening. like live perform I think performance. art will like morph into like will just. become life will they be they'll be merg.

into one you'll just be seeing live. performance art like now I walked down. the street the other day in New York and. this these girls were doing like a. [ __ ] full ticktock coordinated dance. their phone is on the window they have. no they they're in the middle of the. street they don't even care about the. world around them we'll just continue to. be immersed in this where people are. making their own V their own realities. through virtual reality yeah and they'll. just live through that or maybe I could. be Bob Dylan I don't think so yeah the. gullies are broken the silly is gone. yeah yeah you know what I mean the. mountains arise and The Fountains are.

done keep going yeah the Clippers are. winning and the Lakers are. done times they are a. changing what do you think whoa pretty. good Dylan ask right you could do. one the Mexicans are gone Trump wants. them. out very good Koreans won't budge. they'll scream and they'll Shout.

oh and then Woody go was. [Laughter]. like so that guy scoot who played Woody. Guthrie came to the O cuz you know he's. he's dating my friend SOI so soy goes um. we me and Scoot are coming and I got on. a table and they sat and five Comics all. night long pointed to him and goes great. job in the movie he did do a great job. like Mark Marin like a bunch of people.

and it was I just and I could see him. just like like take it in you know what. I mean like he killed it in that movie. imagine what that feels like but you. know like we we get audience reactions. every night yeah so we know what that's. like yeah but we never put out like a an. award-winning performance this is hm you. think so I don't think we'll no I don't. think. so I don't think so I yeah I don't think. so you know what this is this this show. should be called bare minimum that's. what this is yeah yeah two bears one. minimum wow yeah you're right but it was.

nice to see so um I shared with you what. um what happened last Thursday for to me. what um it was a disaster I like to. share it on group level if I may give it. okay um I get a call from the little. hobbit the punk rock Hobbit you know. what that. is no the punk rock Hobbit just think. about it he's a comic the punk rock. Hobbit yeah he started Josh Adam Myers. started comedy later late in life Dean.

Del. re so he calls me hey hey Bobby you I'm. doing this benefit show stepen Tyler. baby yeah right and I go I don't know I. don't do well in benefit shows you're. going to kill so I show up and Stephen. Tyler is um in the Green Room wow I take. a photo with him super nice did he ask. you or you ask him I think he goes hey. let's take a photo I'm serious yeah yeah. I think that was the the the vibe I know. he's a fan yeah and I sat there and I. was like this is cool then Josh Hol. comes in from Queens of the Stone Age.

and let me say. something I'm one of his biggest fans I. love you love Queens not only that I. love um Them Crooked vultures yeah with. yeah and I um and I I met him and I was. just like oh are you ever going to put. on another vultur album he's like I know. we're all you know our schedules this. and that and then um Adam ray goes up. and he's pretty good and I'm after him. and so um I go up I opened my mouth and. and I I'm telling you guys right now and.

know I told you guys this yesterday. right I haven't bombed like this in. years it was silent in the room and I my. time cuz I want to kill right because. I'm like my heroes are in the crowd yeah. right and about 2 minutes in in my. periphery cuz I know where Josh Hol is. sitting I could just see him stand up. and just walk out yeah he walked out of. the room what if he was going to make. another album. he you could have inspired him no no no.

no no no no no my heart combusted into. my [ __ ] chest plate well Josh please. reach out and then I go he might went to. the B and you know what he's doing he's. talking to Adam R in the back oh boy. that hurt it hurt and what toppled that. over the worst the server comes to the. table the other night right after you. tell that story the server goes sorry I. don't know who you guys are yeah that's. okay she goes do you know Adam Ray yeah. I remember you got [ __ ] I didn't get mad. you were bummed I'm proud you were you.

were bummed too no I was I didn't give a. [ __ ] at all when your eyes crinkle dude. you get that's jealousy yeah you did. that you did to cleint Eastwood dude you. know what I was on I was like I don't. want to talk anymore I want to eat food. I'm starving yeah she wanted to talk. ComEd but you know and Adam's having a. moment that's great right but it's just. like it it broke my heart and you know. what I the same thing happened to me 18. years ago and I've never shared this cuz. it's so embarrassing give it so there. was this time where Anthony keas was. really hot on me he was like you hitting.

on you no he loved my comedy oh I. remember one time he I was playing in. Vegas and he brought that's the reason. why I was in the dictator is because he. he introduced me to Sasha wow so I was I. was playing the Playboy comedy um night. at The Palms and Court McCowan comes up. to me and goes dude [ __ ] um an Kus is. here with Sasha Baron Cohen and David. Spade oh wow so they sat watched my set. and then they took me to dinner right. and then um and then like he would.

invite me to shows Anthony and then I. was doing a show at the elid and he. brought flee the whole band and they sat. in front it was alternative. room okay okay I bombed so hard that. night I never talked to him again he. never communicated with you again no wow. I would I could see them blush and he. was embarrassed you've never Bound in. front of your Heroes well you're my hero. and every time I do bad in front of you. it breaks my heart no you've never you.

always kill it in front of your Heroes. did you like that that's not even. remotely true dude you're you know what. you know that's you know that's not even. remotely true in fact in fact in fact in. fact in front of like famous people no I. don't have any good stories of like. famous people coming to see the only. good story I had was when kathern rera. came to see me where at The Improv wow. when I told you guys that St no we never. heard that when I've never told that. show I have told the story yeah I was. auditioning for a show he did a TV show. for HBO I auditioned for the show yeah. and then by way of somehow through a.

manager or something she obviously so. close with guest she came and saw me at. The Improv and somebody was like hey I. think Katherine o''h is here to see you. wow and I was like [ __ ] really I was so. bummed I was by the bar I was like [ __ ]. this is not good cuz what like what the. [ __ ] am I going to do right I go up I. have a fine set it was good it was of. course you did well the Rhythm the. Rhythm was nice the room was good and. then I go back like I nervously like. walked by the room and then I go I go in.

um I go in the you know to The Green. Room yeah and I was like oh I should go. say I want to go say hi maybe and then. who the guy that was working at the. booth was like she left I was like [ __ ]. dude and he was like no no no no she sat. watched your whole show was laughing and. then as soon as you got done she got up. and she went back home and I never heard. about it ever again Christopher never I. never spoke to him about it I never. heard anything about it wow kind of. crazy that's cool it felt so s so rock. St I don't know if she was like if she. like caught wind and they I don't even.

know how it happened that it was like. I'm going to go watch that guy so I I. have you know that there's a movie idea. that I my my my friend mcgrael and I. came up with and there's a pretty big. male you know actor that wants that is. curious about a role like a like a big. guy he's pretty I want to say who it is. but he um he wants to see me sometime in. the next couple weeks perform but I I'm. I'm afraid that I'm going to it's going. to be another you know Josh home. situation no chance and Josh by the way.

reach out he's not mad no I know it's. all in my head he was so nice to me by. the way and I'm a huge fan he's a such a. great talent imagine if he emails Carlos. in the booth at gmail.com and he's like. please tell Bobby that I do love him and. I've hit the ball so many times too I. mean I mean you almost always almost. every time I do you know what I mean. sometimes we sometimes we foul. tippet we're going to foul tippet yeah. sometimes you do who's. here bring him in yeah bring him in. bring in our. boy.

uh-oh look who it is oh my you cut your. hair uh not recently well I took a. shower a second. ago that's it that's it I think that's. it I think you nailed I think you nailed. it that's it buddy yeah yeah hello. welcome back to the show Dax flame. everybody you look like you had a. spiritual experience like you look like. a different person uh I exercised also. today and shower what did we do in the. exercise what do we do uh I played. basketball with a friend can we can we.

can I see your three-point. stance wow wow whoa one onone uh uh no. just. shooting you guys were just shooting. together mhm how long do you shoot for. uh maybe 30 minutes to an hour and do. you break break a sweat or no yes you. you wearing these clothes that you're. wearing now or you wearing no uh I wore. shorts today and a oh you did wow I've. never seen your legs before I yeah I. usually wear jeans beans or pants are. your legs. nice uh let's see you can see them if.

you want yeah I'd like to see well I'd. like to see one whoa W those are pretty. good legs actually thank you they're. World War II. legs those are that's like nor you know. I mean like just a traditional white. that's Nory those are Normy yeah. Normandy legs dude traditional white. have you ever stormed a beach no do you. go to the beach uh yeah but I never swim. yeah you shouldn't yeah you shouldn't. you don't know what's out there you know. who you're you know what guy you are on. Normandy who the guy that kind of. catches on. fire but then you run into the ocean is.

that this the is Saving Private Ryan is. that where that starts yeah okay but. then you run to the ocean you're only. half burn but then you pretend you're. dead in the water okay then the war. passes and then you and then you're back. would you play dead in war do you think. in a movie or in in real war no real war. it's coming if I didn't think I had a. chance anymore you just play dead play. posum yeah unless there is like someone. I could potentially. help let's let's play it out right we're. in one of those I don't know what you. call it but you know in the beginning of.

Saving Private Ryan they're in that boat. those boat youat well no you boats are. the submarines right yeah but it's one. of those boats where like you and. they're always like either vomiting. right and they're just super scared yeah. and. bullets whizzing by right and they're. hoing and there's always one guy with a. cross and he's kisses it right right. there's always one guy like that and. there's another guy going Mama you know. what I mean there's a mama guy always. and there's one guy going yeah yeah yeah. yeah yeah yeah the Rogan killer Jo Rogan.

yeah overcompensating right jacked up on. alpab right so then the thing closes. goes. down and then you see two or three guys. in the front just go down right away. right what do you do what do you do so I. see two people just diated yeah well. you're like fourth row you know what I. mean yeah yeah you know mean Frankie. Castro dies in front of you right Devon. Sanchez dies in front of youco Jackson. Jackson dies in front of you yeah maros. swano maros swano but dies in front of. you and then what do you.

do stay in the boat stay in the boat you. don't move forward to the peach I mean. is every single person is getting killed. they are no but you're you're [ __ ]. cap what do you call it captain or. you're Sergeant you're a sergeant yeah. Sergeant's going come on. flame move forward. flame get going flame and you just G to. sit there people are D you just sit. there flame yeah I would I'd probably. just point out that every single person. has died as they left so oh all right.

this is pretty logical pretty logical it. does make sense yeah uh you know what. you probably go overboard on the other. side into the water they would throw me. over you're say I that cuz if you were. in front of me and you weren't moving. right I would throw you over so I can. get forward but then you would get. killed right I don't know yet it's the. odds are bad but it's like I have to go. forward I would use you as a human. shield yeah me too I think I would grab. you and I would just have my flame. Shield yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and. you're just. getting let me see what that looks. like.

yeah you know what I would do too when. when he's. down when he's down you know what I. would do yeah I would steal something. you know what I would steal from him his. morphine packet oh yeah Morphine. Morphine packet packet and you would. You' feel every pain yeah you would of. your death I wouldn't inject you with. the morphine because you were a coward. that would probably yeah that would make. more sense than just people going. forward using someone as a shield if. yeah yeah pretty heavily dude that was a.

brutal sing what's been going on with. you. Dax um what's been happening in your. life somebody told me that you're seeing. somebody now I heard a rumor that you're. dating somebody famous do you know this. oh that's not accurate who he's got a. famous girlfriend he's been sh about I'm. jealous tell me tell him Emma. Watson he's dating Emma Watson he has. been he's been seing Paparazzi have. caught them out in public you're really. dating Emma Watson mhm why are you her. she she asked me to um keep it private.

but I don't like to keep anything I mean. we can cut it out are you being real. right now yeah he is do you want us to. cut it out yeah we should cut it out is. there a photo there was a Paparazzi. photo I don't know no with I want to see. Dax and Emma together I kind of believe. it no they are really real quick is that. him yeah blue I'm sorry but without blue. maybe I'm not good right because I've. been using it you know I mean because. I'm an older male MH and uh sometimes I.

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podcast Zach and you know what if. without Zach do my skin wouldn't be good. because I got what's on matter I have I. have a sore throat oh my you got to go. to Z I have to get a doctor yeah this is. the best way to get one got is I'm like. can I tell you what it is yeah Zach do. is a free app my friend what is it and. website where you can search and compare. highly quality are you breathing okay I. in network doctors and click to. instantly book an appointment wow and. we're talking about my friend booking in. network appointments with more than a.

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doctor's appointments and go to Zach. do.com badri to find an instantly book a. top rated doctor today that's zocdoc.com. badf friends Zach. do.com isn't that crazy that's crazy. dude so you so how did you guys meet how. did you meet Emma Watson I went to a. Harry Potter thing like a Meetup or a. convention or what was it or a book. signing oh okay right on oh a book. signing who was signing the books Emma.

oh Emma Watson was did you just run game. on her mhm so I'm Emma Watson hello. welcome you want me to sign your book. hello I I'm her publicist Ramon hello. it's my publist fromone would you like. me to sign a book uh yeah wonderful. what's your name Dax Dax you're cute. thank you so are you thank you I don't. know why you're signing that that's Eyes. Wide Shut the script oh wow yeah yeah. this is this a script for American. psycho. listen are you a big fan yes you want a.

photo yes all right anything else all. right hurry hurry up um what how's your. day. going I mean not bad at all really it's. better that you're here oh thank you. what kind of things do you like to do uh. I mean count money um these things are. probably the worst go shopping eating. food crab c crab crab crab love cra cra. I. like I'm big I'm a.

biges I love. oata that's very good yeah yeah. so salsa verde Love Salsa verie if she's. eating Mexican food she loves Sals. what's your favorite place to get it. Mexican food maybe like Del Taco Pito. Mass okay uh we should go there sometime. you asking me out on the DAT M really. wow wow you got quite the confidence. little man thank you you're absolutely.

incredible dude are you cut or. uncut uh have you got a sleeve or is it. a musroom. um it's uh I'm circumcised yeah really. how big is it limp uh noral excuse me. for a second Emma there's a long line. yeah they can wait I know it's like you. know we we had a heart out in quite. horny so they can I know but how how big. is it limb um I'm uncomfortable with. your publicist hearing oh close your.

ears okay how big is it average normal. great uncover okay I heard it still but. um said average Tom hard is in line. really yeah he's going to ask you out. well give me your number and take me out. on a date okay I can't wait to see where. you going to take her uh Pito M get more. creative get more creative. uh hi ho that the place hi. H it's owned by after the date what.

would you want what do you want to do to. me. um uh maybe I'm Yours Dex oh uh what. would you do to me in the Villa we have. a. villa I guess uh make out make out mhm. then maybe see whatever you're. comfortable with uh I'm comfortable with. all of it tell me what you like you want. me to spit on you kick you pull your air. um I think uh maybe just play it by ear.

you want me to play with your. ears sure wonderful grab grab his ears. [ __ ] in his. mouth dude I see how you got her really. good well let me tell you something. we've had a lot of submissions to break. up your relationship you know this we've. had women who have submitted to date you. do you know this okay put on your. headphones so you can hear this You'. like right there let's be honest okay if. you if if you really want to go on a dat. and if you you really are dating Emma. Watson so some of these women need to.

get in line people people need to know. so this woman will be second let's. see hi Dex my name is Katie I'm 34 years. old um I am a single mom I have a. four-year-old son that lives with me. full-time I work in Orange County I work. at a veter hospital I'm a practice. manager um so I'm. around animals all day pretty much um I.

do like to go to comedy shows I was at. The Comedy Store a few weeks ago when. you opened for Bobby and Andrew and that. was awesome um you were super funny mhm. and I like going to hockey games I'm a. huge hockey. fan um I like good. food um I don't really know what else to. say but yeah hopefully I get to talk to. you soon she's a babe she's a babe she.

works with animals babe hockey babe. she's very pretty yeah we did not pay. her to say it oh okay yeah yeah in case. you have doubts honestly honestly how do. you feel let's be real good you do how. about her yeah is this someone that. might be your type uh yeah right on do. you like hockey at all no could you. pretend it like it uh yeah all right. check it out we're at the hockey game. they we're at the Anaheim Ducks game and. they're playing the Edmonton Oilers look. at them out there H which one do you. like the most that guy who you rooting.

for oh the Oilers or the. no [ __ ] dude we got to get that part. right yeah yeah the Ducks Anaheim Ducks. du Ducks she Liv in Orange County yeah. oh which which uh what position do you. like the most on the ice who do you like. goalie you love the goalie nice dude you. like to protect yes yeah you seem like a. protector yeah right on man and she has. a four-year-old son you going to be. comfortable with another another young. man around a child yeah oh now a puck. comes toward you what do you do up who. you grabbed it no you grab it with your.

mouth like a seal dude you got and then. go like that well no he grabbed it what. if he puts in his mouth afterward oh. that's true wow did you catch the puck. do it again whoa. whoa. wow and then okay so um great you going. to take her on a date uh in real life or. in h in real life oh um yeah okay before. you do her four-year-old son is right. here this is Milo hi and you have to.

tell Milo that you're going to take his. M on on a day because he's a little. uncomfortable it it it he's got he's got. a tip it it it's cool to meet you nice. to meet. you how was how are you I I I I I I I I. I. good do you go to school yep yep yep. yep uh you're ah you uh you seem really. cool you cool do you like.

hockey yeah yeah Gretzky oh yeah Wayne. Gretzky no. John John Wayne Gretzky John Wayne. Gretzky John Wayne my favorite seral. killer so I don't know if you're willing. to leave Emma Watson but bad friends. will pay for you to take a girl on a. beautiful date if you'd like to take any. of these women on a date we will pay for. the date and I'm talking start to finish. okay get you a car service we'll get you. a nice dinner we'll pick up the bill we.

you know movie whatever you want to do. afterwards you I'll be there we Bobby. will have to chaperon the chaperon would. y'all both be there would you like us. both to be there um uh so it would. either be just just you or just the two. of you no. I'm I'm probably not going to be. there wait wait I'm sorry be honest with. me dude let's get this out on the open. dude why are you uncomfortable is just. me being there well I think if there's. just one other person on a like a date.

if it it might feel well I don't I. actually don't I don't know yeah you. don't know true exactly would you like. me and Bobby to go on a double date with. you and one of these girls oh like you. would bring people I bring my own date. you bring a date bring your wife you and. I date each other oh yeah yeah we'll. bring yeah us two together we're on a. date uh that could be distracting yeah. but it might make things less how about. this we'll pay for for a date with you. and one of these nice young ladies if. you feel like or many if you'd like and.

and you just report back and tell us how. it went do you want us to be there I. don't think we'd want to be there okay. do you want us to be there uh be honest. I I don't I don't know I have to I have. I have to think yeah think about it but. okay if you were to do you have a car. yet yes good that's good thank you. congratulations you got a new car no. it's not new but I mean you got a car. yeah did you not have a car before yeah. no I did oh you did you always had a car. I know why I thought he didn't a Subaru. oh oh that's a good car thank you yeah.

would you drive to Orange County to take. our on date M okay I will say there's a. couple hockey games coming up maybe we. can get you to one of those hockey games. with that girl if you're interested do. you hook up on the first date or no um. generally or no I if I felt comfortable. with someone and I there was a good yeah. then I then I would be comfortable. too how believe. that I believe.

that if you had an unlimited budget to. take a girl on on a date to to a. restaurant or whatever where are you. taking her we're paying bad friends are. paying don't worry about it no like how. about this a. weekend a getaway right you we will'll. pay for everything you just tell us what. sky's the limit yeah where do you want. to where do you want to go we're travel. agents yeah and you know. Tokyo to Little Tokyo yes Little Tokyo. in downtown LA right that's what you.

meant or or Tokyo Japan uh Tokyo Japan. okay to okay Tokyo Japan that's great so. um did you write that down Tokyo I did I. heard it it's a little expensive it is. but we're going to do it um yes so um. and First Class M ah for both of you. uhhuh first class both of them wow. interesting yeah that'll be cheap yeah. what hotel like we're already $110,000. yeah we're deep this is bad Park haatt. what hotel yeah Park okay he knows how. much how much is the park aost. translation Yeah couple thousand a night.

couple thousand yeah how many nights is. it I think how long you going stay there. a couple weeks okay 14 14 times what two. and a half thousand yeah yeah so we're. talking about 30 grand along with the. flights 40 we're about 50 Grand we're. sinking right now yeah yeah 50 Grand and. then um Euro Dreams of Sushi you want to. go see Euro and the subway yeah Subway. okay that's another grand two grand five. five grand from EO all right can we go l. like you know like dumplings and stuff. after that or now for a couple days okay.

oh he's got demands and so then what are. some of the activities you would like to. do should probably just walk around and. look stuff okay that'll be cheap that's. cheap thank God yeah this guy's gonna. buy a bullet train or something yeah. have you been to Japan before yes and. you loved it I got the flu so that's why. I want to go back and then not get. sick wait you got the flew on your way. there once you got there on day two oh.

my God what was that like depressing how. did you get how did you get it do you. think you got it from traveling yeah. probably from just from traveling was it. a bug or the physical like you were I I. they told me it was the flu cuz then I. went and like went to the doctor to see. if I needed any medicine and they said. it was the flu it wasn't Co it was. before Co after wow wow wow that's. incredible and how long are you there. with the flu uh one week so one day. healthy and then six days is sick and. then I went back so you were in bed for. six days well yeah I mean the second day.

I was kind of like just kind of like. walking around but feeling bad and I was. like I'm just going to relax at my hotel. and then I just started to feel really. bad wow so you spent six days in a hotel. basically yes who' you go with just. solo Dax you're by yourself sick in. Japan sick in Japan by yourself that's. the saddest did you ever write a song. about this no you should okay sick in. Japan sing it now sick in Japan let's. hear it here it is ladies and gentlemen.

the debut of sick in Japan by Dax. flame I was. excited bought my ticket let's take this. trip wow it's awesome going around but. there's something else going around it's. the flu and I miss you wow wow sick. Japan sick in. Japan pretty sick so yeah did you fly. first class no why' you ask first class. for this trip yeah what's going on you. said unlimited budget that is true.

that's my bad I got to be honest with. you I kind of want to send this you him. to Japan I know like I really now we. feel bad I want you to go uh I'll go. okay should we pay for him to go to. Japan I think that's a [ __ ] rad. move would you would you love that uh I. would love that but no pressure but how. about this here's the here's the twist. you've got to go to LAX right now uh. twist would be you have to leave from. the podcast and go to you have to go. literally now um You might not even be.

able to go home yeah we'll buy you a. kimono okay right one of those you know. I mean Chopstick hair things you got to. put those what do you think Dax would. you go to Japan right now if we bought. you a ticket there's two flights tonight. I do need my. laptop why you want to watch Netflix. what are you doing so I can edit yeah he. wants to be able to edit and shoot I'll. edit your [ __ ] yeah cuz I have videos. that I have to post still I could make. new ones or we could maybe bring a.

friend of yours to shoot he's going to. work out there right no he's got to go. alone cuz he wants to relive that solo. experience in Japan that's the beauty of. Japan am I right uh yeah who shoots with. you normally uh my friend yeah I met him. yeah we met him we met met like that guy. I think we should send him to [ __ ]. Japan dude like Singapore no is that. more SM what's cheaper what's cheaper. Mongolia or something yeah I mean I. don't that's would would you like to go. to Mongolia uh I don't know anything. about it go it's great there's a gask.

Khan. Museum that'd be cool yeah yeah and you. like Mongolian beef yes they got a lot. of that they got that there it is right. I I got to tell you and the eagle look. at the Eagle do you like Mongolian. Eagles baby that looks pretty cool like. I'd like to see that dude look at how. much you you're going to you're going to. get sick out there no way you get. healthier if anything yeah I manag us on. a donkey with an eagle on her arm dude. you and I us three going there now I'm.

watching that's you and me and that's. you and me and Bobby that's Bobby with. the eagle imag imagine that. life the fresh air it does look like. really really refreshing and. interesting I really want to send him to. Japan okay Japan I really mean it I'm. not even [ __ ] kidding for the show I. really want to send him to Japan well. let's just [ __ ] do it man okay fine. we going to send you to Japan look at. that though huh cool. have you ever seen a skeleton. cow what is that next to that lady.

that's insane looking Mongolia dude what. is that cow that's a. cow wow what time an OIC what time is it. right now what time is it 8 it's 8 8:01. what is there a midnight flight would. you really go tonight if we booked you a. flight well I would have to get my. passport yeah we'd send you home and. then of course okay there's an 11:20 I. am supposed to go to New York on Friday. why cuz someone wanted me to come make. videos for them would you rather go to.

Japan. Um this can I do both you want us to. well just we'll fly you round trip from. LA to Japan and back so you leave. tonight at midnight 11:20 p.m. you lose. two days you know that right let's see. we get him back when you come back yeah. is it really that long well he has to. stop there's only a stop at night. there's no direct at night huh 22 hours. you willing to stop stop is 10 hours.

yeah yeah cuz you want to go to Japan. can we stop him in Mongolia at. least there's got to be a cheaper. way how much is it 940 you have a 5 hour. stop in he wants first class though dude. I mean first how much is first class. first class is so expensive just to see. what it is how much is first class. $20,000. $220,000 that's how much cost to go to. [ __ ] the both ways or just one way. that's got to be both ways it's got to. be both ways round trip we hope so and.

what's. business that's. insane 20 grand yeah we do business. right we do business when we travel we. better be doing business yeah yeah yeah. we don't do first holy [ __ ] holy [ __ ]. imagine. that imagine how many little Japanese. guys can do that they just do that all. the time like little Japanese. businessmen they fly that all the time. to be little huh some are bigger which. ones that's true yeah yeah there's big. business 5,000 let me say this and I'm. not kidding I'm not making a joke when.

you get back from New York you call the. boys and we are immediately going to. book you a flight to Japan wow okay I'll. I'll do it if you still want to then no. I want to now so we will do it the boys. know we will book you a flight to I want. to go though you want to go with him no. okay but don't you want to go let's all. go well we're going to Korea aren't we. we're going to Korea that's what you say. but I don't know man do you not want to. go I do want to go but is that real yeah. it's literally I have to go so I know. you have to go so you but who's going to.

fly me there they will but they're going. to give me a business of course okay. okay I'm AC like a baby yeah I'd like to. go of course you're going to go I'll go. Dax Dax will you go to Korea with us. yeah dude how funny if he got sick again. in Japan oh I'm going to get him sick. the second time yeah yeah we can blend. that one of the funniest things I've. ever seen in my life we get him sick on. purpose to the second trip to Japan do. you speak Japanese no try. good done you're done dude I thought it. was a.

Japanese say it again oh. go when they walk into the restaurant. yeah yeah I get that it's funny you're. scared of doing the accent I. know uh yeah yeah yeah. yeah yeah you are scared of it I I don't. know yeah I don't know how how that. would sound yeah yeah yeah you've never. did it at home like come on Dax you know. you've done different accents at home. not on camera because you know you're. afraid to get cancelled to to do the. Japanese accent while speaking Japanese.

yeah at home in your privacy you do it. um maybe yeah I mean you've done you've. done like Urban guys at home you know. what I. mean maybe I can't remember specific. yeah yeah yeah you how about rednecks. have you done can you do a redneck you. know I mean impression you could CU it's. white go ahead hey. y'all hey hey do you do you like do do. you like. uh trailers I do do yeah we do you you.

have one for sale yeah how much yeah. well tell us about it I don't want to. just buy it I yeah you're right how much. you. got what what that's not how it works. explain to me what kind of trailer. what's what what are the convenient. things about it and the utilities and. just like a trailer hitch and that's we. we always we always wanted to yeah hitch. what else. uh little. um bed to a bed we love little beds.

little bed to bed yeah little bed to bed. little bed to bed you have a medium bed. to bed yep okay we'll get a medium bed. bed yeah and what else TV oh oh what. kind though color color TV yeah what. flat screen oh that's nice how big 36 in. TV wow that's not big at all not big at. all but okay 48 in to that's still. pretty small but that's fine what else. is there is there um a bathroom y okay. how many one two one be losing your. accent sir where are you from yeah yeah.

where you really from sirex you're from. Texas yeah yeah what part Dallas really. where oh my cousins my cousins live in. Dallas they just moved there which which. area north of Dallas like Frisco we love. north of don't we love north of Dallas. we love north of Dallas yeah we love it. there nice piano bars so are you going. to sell us this trailer yep what are you. asking for. it. $1,000 no wow that's like a flight to.

Japan oh my God he keep's having a. nervous break that's what so weird seems. like is that what you're doing you. selling everything because you're moving. to Japan yeah wa did something. happen yeah I got sick last time I was. [Laughter]. there we should bring him. to yeah I know don't say it yeah don't. say it out loud yeah yeah we got some. plans for you.

bud I you like us as F we feel like. family to you yeah you can I ask you a. question uh who me specifically or okay. go ahead my friend said she met you and. she said that I'm friends with Dax and. you said he oh wait wait stop stop stop. stop stop wait wait stop stop stop stop. stop stop stop stop stop. don't hold on stop I know what you're. going to say and I know is a true. story it is your friend's lying okay no.

yeah yeah and it did it in a funny way. and you know you know how funny I am. right right I do things in a comedic way. right do I not you do right everything I. say is like with a with the hint of like. comedy right say what she said no let. him say it what did she say she said. Bobby said that guy smells. weird did you say Dak smells weird one. of our. brothers yeah smells. weird I didn't ask about the body.

language how do you feel about that bud. do you think D smells weird is that how. you perceive him dude he's our friend. let's can we work out the conversation. here okay yeah oh I'm friends with d. yeah he smells weird what do you talk. what do you mean I was kidding that's. not funny I know maybe it wasn't my bad. he doesn't feel smell weird that's why I. could say it but that's really mean I. think yeah can you call him and tell him. you your friend right she has another. thing coming now. okay she right and um I said it in a. comedic way but when you started talking.

I knew exactly what we were talking. about because when I said it and this is. what a great friend she is she was so. mad on your behalf she was pissed oh my. God yeah will you call her she's like. what she goes what the [ __ ] do you mean. great and I go I'm just kidding will you. call her right now yeah I were you. shower today. before can I text her and ask her if. it's okay text her yeah yeah text her. of cuz I want cuz Bobby's willing to. apologize because let me say something.

about my best friend Bobby Lee he will. he will make up for his mistakes always. am I. right God am I right I hate being. embarrassed you make good you always. make good you always have he's done. everyone right also can I just say. another thing I I'm I'm proud of you Dax. because it's something it's not it's. something that you wouldn't say right. right I I feel like you're like I want. to right you would hold things within. yourself cuz you're kind of shy and you. were very confrontational there oh yeah.

yeah yeah yeah I didn't want to make you. uncomfortable by confronting you I asked. her if I told her okay I said can I call. you I want to ask you about the smell. thing on bad friends and what she say. nothing he hasn't replied I turned it. off of silent mode so that okay I can't. believe that I believe every second of. it no I cannot believe it I honestly do. I didn't say it in like to be like. offensive it was just like a funny thing. we know it was a joke I know but it's. like but she she was being a good friend.

to you what did she say she said no he. doesn't what the [ __ ] do you mean by. that I was like oh I was just just. kidding just kidding yeah and she was. like no it sounded real and I'm. like how did you meet this person at the. store I don't remember I I know that she. was I think she at the Improv at The. Improv is what happened yeah she. performed oh she's a comic yeah she's a. comic oh I know to Comedy she's new to. Comedy well new to stand up standup. comedy and so um now when she said it to.

you was she saying it like be careful of. that guy he's an [ __ ] no okay what. did how did she say it she just told me. that. story oh my God I'm embarrassed was this. the girl with it that we talked about. the other night no some complete i'. never seen her before she seemed super. nice you know I mean she was a little. nervous about comedy because she even. said that I think she's like I'm not I'm. new to this right I you'll be fine or. something you know I mean and then she. goes I'm friends with Dax and I go oh.

yeah he smells weird and she goes what. the [ __ ] no the same girl I would not. say that. again one and. done so DX can I say something you I I. apologize I accept no I don't no really. listen Okay well I don't have a sense of. smell. so I I it's something I'm I take showers. whenever I'm going to be around people. and cuz I can't tell anymore since I. lost my sense to smell a couple years. ago from Co so you can't smell at all.

yeah seriously yeah nothing nothing oh. my. God now do you feel. bad yeah I'm GNA tell you something. right now you told me that's not true. you don't smell bad you don't okay I've. never you've never smelled bad I've. never even smelled you when would I had. the opportunity to well he's here you. don't hug that that's what I said I said. um I'm usually sitting like seven yeah. and when we when you we never we're. never we don't cross paths you know what. so I want to say something okay I said.

it as a joke. to I no I was listen I want to say. something to you okay I honestly I love. you so much yeah and I'm it's a blessing. that you get to do our show I mean that. we have you on our show came out weird. yeah I do feel no no no that's not what. I meant what I'm saying it's a blessing. that you do our show we think you're an. asset you make our show so much more. interesting and fun I agree you I mean. you're so important to us I would never. do anything to burn this bridge I really.

think that you're you're a sweet guy. you're a funny guy I think you're brave. when you did that show with us at The. Comedy Store in the main room in the. main room you know how difficult that. was and you crushed it you know what I. mean I only see you as an ally and a and. and a brother thank and I said it I was. trying to act cool because she was a she. was hot your friend her her his friend. is beautiful right so I'm sorry thank. you but you know what Bobby occasionally. will use comedy to deflect when he's.

uncomfortable so maybe she her beauty. blew him away would you want me to say. anything to her yeah I'm sorry that she. had to hear that okay okay no that's not. no what you want to it was a joke tell. her clearly he's kidding no I apologize. okay all right let's squash it squash. the beef I wasn't yeah I didn't feel. offended good thank you Dax have you. ever been offended by us on this show no. good we love you so anyway look in the. camera thank you for being a bad friend.

the best. [Music]. what.