See You In Purgatory w/ Chris Distefano | Ep 156 | Bad Friends

hey bad friends we are on tour we keep. adding cities as we go people like come. here come here come here we're trying. we're figuring it out but go to. badfriendspod.com badfriendspod.com to. get those tickets we're gonna be all. over the country baby adding cities as. we go go to badfriendspod.com grab them. tickets to see your boys on the road are. we ready. yeah are we greenlit okay. I need to set my stuff up man I need to.

look good here it is oh you look good no. but look how fat I am no but you but but. it's it's pot it's um I look like a. dumpling from Chinatown yeah no you look. no it's me right now looking at this. yeah look at it look at it see what it. looks like. yeah right there yeah you look like um. no but you look like you're enjoying. life you look like you're having a good. time on this planet I wouldn't say. you're necessarily fat uh at all I would. say I would say you look like uh you. probably have about 18 months left.

okay yeah that's rude yeah yeah you. really. who are these two idiots. [Music]. or something we're bad friends yeah let. me uh because I'm filling in for Santino. I thought I want to look like him. uh just you know because I know he's in. Australia now and who knows what. yeah yeah yeah yeah so I don't because I.

want the people at home to you know not. think that he's being replaced or. anything I want them to think that it's. him so I'm in right but you still have. the bigger deck then Andrew saying you. think I'm a bigger than Andrew oh my God. his is so small he does have a little. red yeah it's like pale it's like one of. those worms that you would see on the. moon right right because it's like it. gets no sun and there's no there's no. like vitamins and nutrients in the soil. yeah the worm is just barely alive he. looks like he his dick I bet you looks.

like just a pale like just like pale. little unhealthy grow testing it always. looks like it's like looking in the sun. that's why what does he call his dick. what Bobby Lee. okay that I didn't know that I was going. to come that way you know I mean it went. like this I was like we're having a good. time and then boom right back to me. is that what New York does yes well the. New York big boys okay yeah Dave King he. knows right he's put me in his next. movie all right um.

so here's the deal um man begin because. it is still. you know man my podcast Kinda Yeah well. not for long well we'll see what yeah. we'll see what happens yeah first of all. I want to say um. um thank you so much for your help today. because you know Andrew Tui is you know. he's Hollywood Santino is yeah oh you. know you get it right yeah yeah I'm. doing seeing uh Zac Efron you know he. goes to these private like Portland. country clubs with batemen and all those. guys oh yeah you know what I mean yeah.

and they. who who I'm playing the part of today is. is a known Scientologist and I have text. messages to prove that 100 yeah yeah. yeah it's so funny because. um he had a briefcase once one of those. old briefcases and one of the latches. were broken right right and he was kind. of in a rush to get and it fell. Dianetics right and then a little orb. right right and I touched it right and.

the Xenu appeared whoa [ __ ] yeah I got. so scared so scared yeah yeah and then. and then right David muscavage came out. of nowhere oh my God grab the [ __ ] yeah. got another limb I just drove off just. drove off yeah yeah let me tell you. something here's what's going to happen. for the for the time on this podcast. because I'm I'm gonna be Andrew Santino. but I'm gonna be a little bit different. and the key difference is guess what I'm. going to be the interesting to you know. who isn't mean to you I'm gonna be the. Andrew Santino who's nice to you oh he.

doesn't have a compilation of of him. yelling at you on the podcast which I. don't support I'm gonna be nice to Bobby. Lee yeah well could I just say this yes. is um you don't have the ability to do. it even if you wanted to because I don't. have that in me you're a softy I'm a. soft and he's mean yeah you're gay yeah. you're amazing gay yeah yeah and you're. sensitive and um you know like you know. we were talking about playing the. Hogwarts Legacy you wouldn't even be. able to handle that no I don't even know. what that is yeah yeah exactly I don't.

even know what that is when I hear warts. I start looking at my [ __ ] I bet you. money any Harry Potter movie scares you. any hair Voldemort oh right yeah full. right I don't know the only thing I know. about Harry Potter is when I went on the. ride I went on his ride once in Disney. World yeah you close your eyes probably. close my eyes yeah yeah yeah I close my. eyes on that on that on that thing on. the on the ride and I I was literally. and and and and yeah anything with Harry. Potter to me and my family is gay.

let me ask you about Harry Potter do you. know anything about it be real uh okay I. love this name me all four houses you. can do that okay the only thing I know. about Harry Potter is I have my My Views. align very well with its author that's. what I know foreign. no I don't know I couldn't tell you one. of the Harry Potter houses I don't know. I know that it's uh not Daniel Craig. what's the lead name Daniel Radcliffe.

Radcliffe yeah I know he got naked and. did a uh a play I think The Vagina. Monologues I know that I know yeah I. know the girl who was uh who was Belle. from uh from the Beauty and the Boost. movie that I watched my kids it's in the. beauty of the booster Beauty and the. Beast yeah yeah beauty and the beat that. she's [ __ ] hot that girl oh yeah yeah. and then I think um not in Harry Potter. no not in Harry Potter. and then so and so I know about that but. I I gotta be honest with you I have not. seen I don't think one second you.

couldn't name me any of the houses even. uh House of uh is Baltimore in uh Harry. Potter yeah Voldemort Voldemort yeah. that's not a house but that's not a. house it's a guy I honestly dude I. couldn't name you I couldn't not even a. character I couldn't I know Harry Potter. that's it I don't know. which is a school if that's good okay. that's a win but I learned that from the. ride. I see he got on the right I probably. said it yeah yeah yeah so I no I'm not a. Harry Potter what are you guys big Harry.

Potter fans. well I you know I number one I'm an. American citizen right right allegedly. yeah number two I have eyes okay right. and I'm I just. simple cultural things I know right I. think that Harry Potter is a cultural. thing that people should have like kind. of uh it's like when you know I met that. this girl on hinge and she goes what are. the Beatles. what yeah if that's what Harry when you. say I don't know anything about Harry. Potter's that's what it feels like what. are the Beatles how about this.

you don't like anything I feel like. you're not a fantasy guy no no like um. like I literally like in uh to prepare. uh to prepare for this show because then. it was gonna do a show with you I. watched everything anywhere all the time. you know that big movie I watch that to. prepare because I was like let me get. you know Bobby want to speak about you. would think that that would why that. movie because it's the most. relevant one yeah because yeah because.

there's so many other movies you're. gonna watch it's the Asian one yeah yeah. and I thought you should start with Kung. Fu Panda right that's a good one Kung Fu. Panda's good it's a very good one rich. Asians no even go back oh you could even. come back Mulan yeah you could have gone. uh yeah Mulan Mulan is one of my. favorite ones I can't believe Ronnie. Chang wasn't in Mulan yeah Kung Fu you. could have done the TV show okay yeah. yeah that was a good one David Carradine. yes I mean he was my favorite I like. David Caruso better. you do yeah why didn't even the one who. auto erotic is fixated himself yeah.

David Carradine was yeah David Carradine. was sorry I was blinded by Carlos's head. yeah. oh yeah Corinthian yeah yeah Karen Dean. did it wow he tied him you know do you. think you could kill yourself you think. that's a martial art. erotic asphyxiation you think that's. like a move yeah I think it's a talent I. do think it's a move and I think that. you know my kids are in Jiu Jitsu I'm. hoping I'm wondering when that lesson is. yeah that's the one I'll go to you think. when the door opens he goes. yeah. I know you come yeah.

it gives you like a stripe on your belt. yeah yeah. I think that yeah autoronic is fixated. you want to try it not now no you ready. I really want to try it with you I'm on. my new blood pressure medicine shout out. losartan and it's doing its trick 50. milligrams but not as horny and I don't. get I'm I'm not waking up with morning. wood it's actually causing some issues. in the relationship. what's your BP what does that mean blood.

pressure bad still even on the meds no. on the meds it's okay right but do you. ever forget take the meds or you take. them religions. dude you're telling me like seven months. ago you're like you're like oh you're. like oh I take it you're like oh sorry. I've had a 48 hour stomach virus I'm. like no dude I think you're having. stroke symptoms. I think that's what it is oh yeah I want. to announce to everybody so um I have. did I already say it in front of. everyone I had a 48 hour virus. I'm here in New York shooting that Sex. in the City show I rap like late and.

then I came to the hotel I don't want to. say it was oh I don't know where I got. it but I I shot for a long time and then. my dick smells weird and it really does. it smells so weird because I think you. the Poo because you know when you have. diarrhea that long you don't you forget. to wipe it sucks yeah yeah I mean and. everything just you know I feel bad for. the prostitute that got that on her. chest when she came over yeah don't you. know cut that up but uh I mean yeah. that's my cousin yeah but my point is.

and then so then today I woke up and I. had my first meal in two day two to. three days what was it I had to be um. BTS BLT BLT oh no BTS is the Korean. piece I had to eat that one time too. yeah it was delicious yeah yeah Korea I. got it in Korea I I um I think that uh. well I'm happy that you're better and. then you have your first meal well no. because I feel no because I don't feel. fully like you know me comedy already.

right you know I mean so you know when. you came in I'm like I'm glad it's you. because you're so good yeah I mean you. have a gigantic pimple on your nose too. what's that from. yeah that sucks. that you would even bring that up but. yeah no I thought it was because you. missed Santino you just want to make. your nose beat right. so you can at least see something yeah. man there was because for two days I. didn't wash my face. and I woke up like with this thing on my. nose but here's the good thing about. being Karina as we speak about this is. even though you haven't bathed Koreans. don't have it they have a gene that. makes them smellless you don't smell in.

the pits I don't you don't it's. impossible so yeah yeah you could say. whatever you want to call with my dick. I'll smell you dick really all right. oh dude it does smell like [ __ ] yeah. oh my god dude I've been taking a shower. in three days his penis literally it. [ __ ] stinks. oh no no it doesn't no I put cologne on. it no no no it smells good no yeah don't.

do that bad no it's not that was a trick. dude that was Hawk from Hogwarts dude. yeah that's where the game did I learned. that from the game bro it's pretty good. the size yeah thank you the Lord and. Savior like soft whatever soft dick it's. not bad bro can may I defend myself real. quick buy the buy my eye right for the. public right I've been single for what. six months right and this is the honest. truth okay what's your name what's your. name again man. wolf wolf hear me out.

you know because you're the only one. that doesn't know me here right. you know when you look at me wolf right. look at me wolf right you you and I know. you're not you know you're not gay or. another I get it right you're mad you. know all that stuff but what is it when. you look at a guy like me right you you. would make an assumption that I had a. small penis. be real I wouldn't I totally you. wouldn't you wouldn't have any opinion. probably oh no okay. how old are you 29. he doesn't even see.

gender 29 year old so he will know about. that oh you're thinking oh I get it I'll. dress like that yeah yeah yeah yeah my. bad my bad dude I didn't know wolf wolf. but wolf I will tell you from from from. first-hand account he does have an above. average sized penis so the four so the. women that have seen it since I've been. single this time right they've all. remarked. what a surprise. honestly I agree and I think that's. better going in like that yeah because. if I was a if I was wolf.

right right who happens to be a black. guy can I say that you sure right if I. was wolf and wolf had my size penis it. would be a disability problem it would. be a problem a disappointment my point. being right is I think I'm winning. yeah wolf I would say if if there was a. contest and I would say whose dick is. bigger wolves or Bobbies I would I would. not think you but after seeing your. penis I think I think you could be. within Striking Distance of wolf thank. you so much yeah you know I'll take that.

as a win speaking of wolves oh yeah go. ahead I've seen Twilight. I haven't seen Harry Potter's but I've. seen Twilight Team Edward Team Jacob. okay why because that's stuff that my. daughter and uh my girlfriend want to. watch but they don't want to watch Harry. Potter Harry Potter my stepson wants to. watch and he's you know not my you know. we're we're we're connected because he's. my stepson but I don't watch the kind of. stuff he wants to watch I only watch my. biological children. okay that's fair I'm kidding I love. myself. if you wanted so he's he's asked Daddy.

yeah Daddy can you watch uh Harry. Potter's Harry Potter's which means yes. Harry Partridge yeah well he's the one. that wants how old is he does he talk. like that 12. yeah he talks like that. right it talks like that yeah right yeah. he has Down syndrome Daddy no that's not. rude this is what white 12 year old kids. I did the [ __ ] I'm a sketch guy you. are a sketch guy I was on a schedule for. eight years yeah I've done the research. yeah right and I know about right on.

television yeah this [ __ ] that people do. on YouTube. no what he thinks you're bowing yes. thank you yeah but my point is is that. so I I've done my research so this is. Daddy right what a value with me. what would you say to him what I would. say I would say um I would say hold on. well first of all yeah I would I would. remove my penis from his mom's mouth and. I'd say oh I see it yes and I would say.

I told you to [ __ ] knock when I'm in. here with you mother a child do I mean. yeah yeah I'd say what do you want to. watch Harry Potter uh Harry Potter I. would say I would say okay fine you can. watch it after I watch the game now go. get me a beer that's what I said oh the. game the game right I would say you. watch we're watching the game first. because it's my house okay you don't. like it you could go live with your your. own [ __ ] family go Patriots nobody. would say no well he would say that and. then he'd get a smack that he would say.

let me guess yeah go. um what's New York New York Jets he's. got another [ __ ] smash oh I get it. wrong. um go Yankees yeah then I would say okay. good oh they're taking me hitting me. Daddy yeah. oh I know. taking New York or apples.

and he's jerking off yeah he's jerking. off right there yeah no and by the way I. would never hit my kid and he would. never jerk off and that this is just. I've never hit my kids this is just a. [ __ ] schedule I would never hit my. kids I would never uh hit my girlfriend. I would never make my stepchild uh watch. me get a [ __ ] from his mother I'm. impersonating Andrew Santino those are. things he would do he would have 100 do. it and those those playing by. Scientology rules playing by Scientology. yeah but he wouldn't be on medication. yeah yeah I know I made my steps on.

watch cheeseburger yeah you know it's. funny Chris um what's going on Carlos is. shocking every time I see him by that he. doesn't he doesn't look like for he's. from this era he literally what era does. he look like Carlos honestly he looks. like a woman from the future.

yeah we should do a movie She 2086 yes. and it's Carlos you're the star she and. what happened now does the woman that. looks like that in the future right well. go look because some people don't know. let's just. oh yeah you're people know who you look. like people know Carlos yeah but just. stand in front of the thing this is the. new movie. yeah God sit next to me this is the new. movie yeah 2000 she.

2086 right it's so both actually me and. you both look like women from the future. yeah so let me ask you in the women of. women from the future right is the. vagina still the same shape and whatnot. no because I think it's morphed over the. time it's having less and less children. nobody has kids right now right so it's. it's oh so it's harder to find it's even. harder to tighter that's good. it's more calcified uh is it the hymen. does the hymen grow back. and create the world where's his chain. from is that Amazon oh that's Gucci.

chain I like that how many [ __ ] idiot. 900 for that I [ __ ] like that dude. Italy no you know what it is not hard. work Rich parents do you have Rich. parents good nice dude well I'm also at. work. I flew here I know thank you so much. we flew you here. yeah I mean the company. that's not first class right no of. course not yeah well here's here's a. question I have for you get on screen or. yeah come on get on screen what's wolf. at Wolf left wolf yeah wolf because he's.

29 he's a 29 on black many stage of. protest. yeah that's it all right see this is. what happens if you give them time on. then they keep going yeah now see. Santino would never allow this to happen. he wouldn't let go. yeah yeah um yeah yeah just for a second. wait a second is fancy out then where's. fancy baby you had a baby yeah I have. text to prove that Fancy's on Russia's. side fancy is has taken Russia in this. in this Great War. uh this episode of bad friends is.

brought to you by betterhelp listen uh. Bob and I have talked. so much about better help getting to. know yourself can be a lifelong process. especially because we're always growing. and changing. um you know I'm not the same person I. was in my 20s okay and life builds and. you new stresses occur traumatic events. and whatnot and you just hold that stuff. in your body and if you don't release it. it turns into ailments and stuff right. so um I went into better help and I got. therapy especially specifically for my.

trauma and now I feel super light I like. this way more than in person therapy. because I don't like to travel somewhere. I'd rather do it from the comfort of my. own couch uh and truth be told I think. it's so beneficial to just clear your. mind uh and all you have to do is fill. out a brief questionnaire to get matched. with the licensed therapist and switch. therapist at any time for no additional. charge discover your potential with. better help visit betterhelp.com bad. friends today to get 10 off your first. month that's better help help.com bad. friends.

ship station you guys we have an online. store here and we use ship station we. only use the best here at bad friends. that's right in a landscape where free. and fast shipping is the norm it can be. hard for smaller e-commerce businesses. to compete keep yourself competitive. with ship station it's so easy to grow. your business uh handling your orders. from Marketplace in One dashboard. because they effortlessly integrate. everywhere you sell online Amazon Etsy. eBay shopifying so much more and we love. shipping out merch to you guys without. shipstation I don't think that would be. possible and uh what they do is they. basically provide an all-in-one package.

you know you can use uh USPS and ups and. you get 84 off those rates and if that's. not enough use our promo code with. shipstation for free for two months with. over 130 000 companies growing your. eCommerce business with ship station 98. of the companies that stick with ship. station for one year become customers. like us for their entire growing your. businesses all year long with. shipstation use promo code bad friends. today at shipstation.com to sign up for. free 60-day trial that's shipstation.com. promo code bad friends thank thanks to.

shipstation for sponsoring the show so I. hope that people know Russia versus. Ukraine fancy fancy as fancy has been. telling me privately that he want hopes. Russia steamrolls Ukraine so just want. to let you know who you have working for. you why so maybe he has uh maybe he. knows Putin or maybe he has Rush is his. wife Russian no she's a white girl from. the south are you sure by the way she. could be a sleeper agent with Fancy's. hip and ass he has also looks like a. woman from the future.

fancy loves Porsche that's true right. right he's got handles he does have. handles yeah yeah if I was in prison. what's fancy dude yeah I would just grab. the skin around it yeah and that's a lot. of skin yeah and I would just Yank It. Down onto my dick fancy he's got a body. like one of those guys like like he lost. 300 pounds and never got the Skin. Surgery but he was never found to begin. with so he just he was just born with a. DNA a guy who lost all this weight but. he never had to lose it right he would. confuse Dr no yes yes yeah he would walk. in doctor knows you need to get the skin.

you're removed he's like I'm not one of. those oh buddy just trick me yeah yeah. yeah that's what Dr No would do do you. love that show uh no I what is that. that's the one yeah with the 600 pounds. yeah I like that show. um I like that show but sometimes I feel. like what happens now with television is. is it makes people almost want to be. faster so they could get on that show. right like I think sometimes people like. oh let me get to eight 900 pounds some. of my casting tape they see that I'm. like a real [ __ ] whale yo you. couldn't be like 150 50 and go I gotta.

get to 600. you have to be like 400 and. if you were 400 pounds I could see. you're laying in bed like you're 400. right and you're watching TV and like. God they just don't do shows about 400. pounds right and then your head clicks. right and goes if I just ate three extra. pizzas today yeah a day yeah I could get. to that TV level yeah right and then. that's that's the thing I think there's. somebody out there that does that. right I think that there's somebody out.

there that would has has tried to get on. the show just that by overeating with. the simple fact of I just want to get. casts on that show that's what I think. yeah by the way you haven't commented I. lost weight and you didn't say anything. when you walk into the [ __ ] thing I I. I I I I gasped yeah I guess because I. went oh my God here's a real star I'm. being real glasses can you take the wig. off now yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you. commented about it you're a good looking.

guys give me the wig [ __ ] the wig all. right okay now you have good hair do you. like that dude I'm telling you right now. dude I'll be a real Realty dude I'll do. this. you could be. I hate to say this you could be the best. looking male comic in Show Business. right now what about Matt Rife. no Hottie with a body he is haughty. right. um but there's. he's suspect to me got it. like if he's straight or gay no are you.

correct Ray no that's what's up right. now no what suspect about it right are. you Craig right now no I met I met. himself I know what he does because I I. know that if Matt I gotta fart into the. mic do it. dude look here I took this I took a sexy. pic for you too so could I say something. about Matt Rife yeah. but yeah.

[ __ ] dude holy [ __ ] dude I want to see. my penis I love it Dad you want me to. put it up on the show yeah I'll text it. to you let me see it Matt right is. somebody I look at him and I go oh I. could beat him up. but he's a boxer though it doesn't. matter I feel like I can so he wouldn't. be but you I just know you would defeat. me right in a real you would never. because your insides would go against my. point though because you're a good guy. but I'm just saying if we didn't know. each other yeah and I went in and I you. know you know hugely boogly your kids.

you know you know what I mean yeah. you're saying I could get it to a level. what does oogly boogly mean who knows. who knows because. I don't think yeah because I think you. know what the difference is because I. think I know a little bit more about. history that Matt ripes are my hate for. Asians is more than him because when you. look like history you really want to. hate the Asians can we talk about that. real quick. because you know I have a new stand-up. joke about Oppenheimer love them. Riot love them and I did a good thing. okay Manhattan Project he needed to do.

that because he the Japanese were out of. [ __ ] control. yeah so there's the joke is you know I. mean there's certain movies I can't can. I just tell you the joke yeah that wrote. right let's do it so you know um. just some movies I can't be in like. Oppenheimer Christopher Noll that's a. white movie right I mean the guy that. invented the atomic bomb right you know. Matt Damon Robert Downey Jr and I said I. could be an Opera number two Hiroshima. right right I'll be on the screen for. five seconds you know what I mean yeah I. have only one line you know what I mean.

it's working really well that's a great. tell the joke though I get angry and. because because it always [ __ ]. reminds me because look at Pearl Harbor. dude yeah right they showed that movie. right look at what they did right we. were they were sleeping yeah Emperor. hirito no right yes right and then check. this out right. what in return it's like the old Russian. um um. thing that they say if you hit me with a.

feather I'll hit you back with a tank. yeah right yeah they hit us back with. ten thousand not I'm not Japanese right. but they hit them back with 30 000 tanks. yeah. it was like the right. but but but do you understand Dave Dave. Dave Dave Dave's are you Jewish. Dave as a Jew I'm here to tell you I. mean Hitler didn't like Jews because of. art class right some some you know. Jewish kid in the class painted a better. picture you guys are more creative.

Hitler preserved all the art in World. War II by the way a little known fact. all right. anyway so let's argue that what the [ __ ]. bro okay so here's what happened yeah so. so I think people too you don't. understand why the United they're like. why would Japanese hit the US they had. to because you know that first of all. you're Korean you know if I was a. Chinese person which I'm I'm not I'm not. saying I'm not. um United States so I was definitely. made in China yeah but but I am saying. that Chinese people from the era of the.

20s 30s and 40s they have a lot of. reasons to hate the Japanese you know. everybody talks about how bad you know. white people are on the straight white. male and that's all in the news the the. [ __ ] Japanese what they did to the. Chinese is so much more important to the. Koreans what they did the Koreans they. would banging at babies light people on. fire all in the name of manifest destiny. so my dad told me the story once yeah. because as a kid I used to go um. dad all the white kids you know I mean. their parents tell them bedtime stories.

and you never do and I said it for like. a year right and so one night I was like. maybe 11 10 years old I was in bed and. my dad walked in he goes he goes story. time. right like more like with a smile yeah. I'm like this is cool right yeah and he. goes um you know. they're way back you know when Japanese. or press okay they take Korea and they. take and they attack them and with the. Rope upside down and I go okay.

you're dead and they take you know big. you know boiling water. you know and they hang three you know. sometimes building but three right and. they don't you know Korean upside down. into boiling water so many times a. little skin they go they scream ah he. would do the movement. right and I remember okay thank you good. night you're like I didn't want you to. finish right yeah but like that's the. kind of [ __ ] they used to do yeah yeah.

yeah that was they were and so the. Japanese atrocities but it's one guy. right yeah did you forget your hair to. show that you're more Japanese now. because you you just pushed in a samurai. ponytail in the back yeah you know I'm. 10 Japanese are you 10 Japanese yeah I. did it at the uh the 23andMe so more. okay it won't be probably because it was. raped into you that's probably what it. was like no seriously they are being. real they came and raped it oh they. rejected in me the 1930s Japanese the. 1930s Japanese people [ __ ] themselves. the 1930s Japanese deserve the nuke not.

not the end not the civilians but the. 1930s Japanese soldiers natural cool the. 1940s Japanese soldiers deserved oh yeah. now the [ __ ] Japanese Pokemon. Godzilla Hello Kitty thank you thank you. thank you nice the best candies. delicious I love it I love a modern day. Japanese but back then yeah yeah that's. why and that's why the United States the. atrocities were so bad in Nan King you. know they've heard of the rape of Nan. King no so okay Nan King China sounds.

like a good restaurant to go to the rape. would you eat at a place called the rape. 100 yeah it'd be delicious yeah. Nan King was the um was the capital of. China called the Republic of China Rock. Jay-Z and so Nan King. the Japanese when they were invading. China right before World War II they. said we're going to invade China and. they said we need to have a terror we. need to put fear into the Chinese people. because they viewed the Chinese as. sub-human so they started they would.

enter Nan King they bayonetted the. babies rape the women torture the women. Kill Them Burn families alive in front. of the father all that stuff horrific. horrific and then the United States. heard about that the whole world heard. about that and they said we're done. dealing with Japan embargo no money for. oil no money we're not helping them out. in any way shape or form because. Japanese were like Manifest Destiny like. we want to take over all of Asia that. [ __ ] is ours so then that's why they. bombed us to Japanese because they had. we stopped giving them money to fuel. their War Machine and oil to feel their. war machine so they hit Pearl Harbor. when they hit Pearl Harbor they [ __ ].

up then they got put in the microwave. three years later but they deserved it. you know what thank you there you go. you're right my name is Christopher De. Stefano yeah Christopher's there's a. little segment I do on my YouTube but. you know what bothers me with us yeah. what bothers me about the whole time I. think you're right but what bothers me. about it is because the people that died. though right did not literally have. nothing to do with that zero that's the. government it's Emperor they worshiped. him as a sun god right yeah and it's. like all these people babies people.

what's why are you smiling you pieces. because of the Sun God thing it made me. laugh yeah what that's what they said. Sun God yeah it's crazy. Gucci chain that's true right. yeah yeah I think because of how rich he. grew up and privileged life he has that. was God's way to balance out I said I'm. not going to grow any hair in the middle. of your head for your whole life. you can only grow on the sides right. even wolf is do you have sisters right. yeah do they have the same room yeah. they have hair they do yeah are you sure.

I've yeah I saw is it like if I look at. their head in the sun when I see gaps no. no they have external hair yeah honestly. this here's the type of hair that looks. like he was born in the outskirts of. Hiroshima. right right. fully there. yeah what I like about Carlos is the. commitment to this because much like. Stavros when Star Bros will come out and. be have hair only you know no hair in.

the middle and a gap in the tooth he. beautiful women are like confident. confident and Carlos beautiful are you. gay no okay. allegedly beautiful beautiful women yeah. beautiful women I bet you come up to. Carlson like because they're confident. confident confident because if you pull. off that look it is very very difficult. yeah because he has the beautiful hair. in the back but it just in the middle. that's creative what did you start. losing it oh like when I was 20. right. yeah it looks I'm telling you I don't. know if you had a full head of hair I. don't know if you'd be as handsome I.

think you're better off this way was the. drug addiction because of the hair I no. I wasn't addicted to drugs because I was. sad about my hair. can we Replay that no I wasn't addicted. to drugs no you could have been like 17. and like you saw a clump came out I want. to get on Fentanyl no my dad's bald and. all she knew it was coming oh you know. what's coming I just didn't know it. would show up so quick no but it comes. to your mom's side though no that's what. they say male pattern baldness comes. from the mom's side yeah yeah so they.

say yeah I mean I just saw my dad being. bald and I was like I assumed I would be. no dude it looks it really does like you. really do look really good like that you. pull off and it's interesting because. when you put the Hat on it's like oh. look this flowing hair and then boom. cancer yeah I mean I've mentioned this. before I used to work at a coffee shop. with this [ __ ] a dwarf little person. yeah right he's all three whatever he's. all three no they don't mind yeah little. person I mean yeah they love it all um. ah Hobbit. that I've seen right.

um but he I worked with him back in the. early 90s oh at a coffee shop they had. rights did they even have rights back. then no you could step on them you can. do anything sometimes you would put them. in the coffee grinder yeah. yeah yeah yeah yeah you could like lean. on them yeah they hated it you know what. I mean yeah but you know you could use. them as a you know but um no rights back. then but this kid had tattoos though. okay all right I need a gold tooth whoa. right so he was one of those nice wow. magical what he's like magical almost.

yeah and he was like a ground what the. [ __ ] you're looking at man you know I. mean like one of those guys yeah yeah. yeah yeah and he always had. the hottest chicks I believe it I've. ever seen confidence and one day you. know. because he's only he was only like an. inch shorter. right so you know I would kind of like. look at him like this you know what I. mean yeah yeah and go I think yeah but. um but yeah I'm Asian but my point is is. that how come you know you get so many. women he goes he goes he used to call me.

Lee. yeah right you're one of those guys you. know what I mean. I've seen you around man you don't even. try you're scared I mean I go to a back. a bat a hundred times I strike out 98. times and sometimes I'll hit two you. don't Strike wow and I still never. Strike after that lecture I still didn't. do it but I got it but I realize why. what's the reason because I did I never. I was too scared oh you but but why did.

you not even try though like what's the. reason because I'm not willing to get. rejected 98 times right but that's but. then right but that pain. but why did you pick a life in comedy. then it's our whole life is rejection. that's a different kind of rejection you. think that a woman you being rejected. from a role or something like that you. know because comedy rejection I always. felt that with Society how could it get. be worse than what society's doing right. right so I you know I I always viewed. stand up as a war.

me versus the audience and I'm gonna win. the military veterans right now are. agreeing with you thank you for who are. sitting there you know somebody has a. torso is listening to bad friends right. now be like comedy is a war that's a. [ __ ] using you're using a straw to. [ __ ] into a straw yeah all right. you're right I shouldn't use a different. analogy no but I like it okay okay my. point is is that but being rejected by a. woman is a different kind of pain and. now I'm okay with it I'm fine with it. yeah I throw it out all the time and I.

don't care you know I mean you know who. cares yeah at this point what the hell's. the difference there's no difference 50. years old but we've been rejected you're. going to find the woman here can I go. back to the China though yeah. um and this is more of a historical. thing please. I had read somewhere. that it was the Chinese. hundreds of years ago that were the. first people to invent gunpowder yeah. that is true right so they could have. and pasta. and pasta yeah so they could have had. you know I mean guns and spaghetti way.

before the Italians you'll enter the. mafia right yeah my point is is that if. they would have developed that the. gunpowder into guns because the. Europeans took the gunpowder yeah and. they made these weapons and that's why. they took over the world yeah right but. why didn't the Chinese do that I think. because at that time the Chinese the the. some of the stuff I read was that they. knew the power behind it and they wanted. to leave it but where the Europeans said. we know the power on that we're gonna. make like Oppenheimer yeah that is that.

interesting yeah yeah and do you think. it's religious based because you know. the Chinese right or Eastern religions. like Buddha you know what I mean sure. peaceful people this and that support. and they're not well Taiwan we'll see. yeah yeah. you're right but the Christians are more. like you know I mean Crusades and you. know I mean will make you you know. believe you know yeah it's interesting. man I think because with Christianity I. think that the fundamental difference is. I don't think in Buddhism and in the.

Eastern religions I don't think they. Place such an emphasis on what happens. here on Earth on where you get placed in. the afterlife I think it's like. spiritual ancestors whereas Christianity. they're so worried about where they're. going to be placed in the afterlife so. their actions here on Earth get dictated. by that that's what I think one of the. that's why I think Christianity the. guilt the anxiety or the the you know at. one point you know the [ __ ] being. like you better be a Christian or else. I'm not if I don't convert as many. Christians I'm going to go to hell for. it all that stuff is they believe. placement here but don't even isn't.

murder a sins listen people at different. times in history you can convince. anybody of anything I mean you know. Russia just wants to land in the Ukraine. so but they're saying all these they're. calling Ukrainian Nazis and this and. that which may or may not be Nazis are. bad they're just taking the land. you know you know there was one not. here's here's the thing what Nazis were. bad I [ __ ] the Nazis but do you know. there was a Nazi okay there was a Nazi. no he tried to help your people in Nan. King when the Japanese were executing. all the people of Nanking the there was.

a Nazi his name was John and he that was. his name what's his last name I forgot. bar maybe his name was Roseanne's Father. John John Barr oh yeah yeah yeah yeah. John wanted John the Nazi wanted to help. the Chinese citizens flee Nan King and. he went up to Hitler and said can we. organize help and Hitler said no Hitler. said he said well no Hitler was like I. want them all dead because you know. Hitler was you know he was in there he. was like they don't have enough art for.

me Hitler didn't like the Chinese art. the Ceramics I love it yeah I'm not. listen I'm not pro-hitler at all I'm. just saying that they yeah wait wait so. let me ask you about Hitler because. obviously you know a lot sure right so. he uh didn't like the Chinese either he. didn't like anybody who was an Aryan who. wasn't who wasn't it he specifically. said yeah I want the entire race of. people to have blonde hair and blue eyes. when he didn't have blonde hair and blue. eyes. it's so wild yeah he had he ever even. met a black person I don't think he ever.

met if he met one I think he would he'd. like him sure he probably met one he. like met wolf. oh yeah yeah man he would be like this. guy's got the big penis bigger than. Bobby Lee well no you would have to hide. it I think that we'd be threatened by. that yeah hide the Dick Wolf. I would tuck it yeah right and I would. you know. is. nothing okay. just say it no man because I know I say.

I ruined the [ __ ] room why what no. you won't Bobby it's your show oh now. what is um what is going on here with. this podcast is it what do you think do. you think bad friends are we coming to. the end is it gonna go for another 10. years is it going to blow up is it going. to be oppenheimered what do we think. hello fresh hello fresh you're gonna get. farm fresh pre-portioned ingredients and. seasonal recipes delivered right to your. doorstep skip those trips to the grocery.

store count on hellofresh to make home. cooking easy fun and affordable that's. why it's America's number one meal kit. I'm telling you making Meal Time easy is. huge for me because I want delicious. recipes with fresh ingredients that. delivered to my door okay I don't want. to wait in line I don't want to get in. my car and I want to go to the store. anymore I just want to have it delivered. to my front doorstep cost of groceries. is going up up perfect time to get. started with hellofresh it's cheaper. it's way cheaper than going to the. grocery store and it's 25 less expensive. than takeout because that gets a pricey.

powering up with protein is easier with. hello fresh just check out the protein. smart tag on their menu to quickly find. recipes featuring 30 grams or more of. protein that's a lot like one pot pork. and black bean chili or creamy Dijon. dill chicken which you know I love they. make it very easy on you and they know. you're busy that's why they take care of. all the meal planning for you prepping. and freeing up extra time in your. schedule pre-portioned ingredients that. are fresh foolproof recipes and. convenient Doorstep Delivery they make. it easy to get dinner right on the table.

I love it so much honestly I've been. using it for years now and it makes it. easy because I have a busy schedule and. it's crazy we're traveling around the. country and so in this regard now you. can get hello fresh sent to you quick. and easy so how do you get it go to. hellofresh.com badfriends60 use the code. bad friends 60 for 60 off plus free. shipping once again that's. hellofresh.com uh Slash bad friend60 use. the code bad friends 60 for 60 off plus. free shipping hellofresh America's.

number one meal kit. Morgan and Morgan hey have you been in. an accident we all have I've been hit. multiple times I got hit in my own. neighborhood by a woman who was looking. right at us uh and I gotta tell you it's. a huge bummer and uh you always think. what am I going to do what action can I. take if you're ever injured in an. accident you can check out Morgan and. Morgan Morgan and Morgan is America's. largest injury Law Firm they have over a. hundred offices Nationwide and more than.

800 lawyers with over 15 billion dollars. recovered for clients Morgan Morgan has. a proven track record of fighting to get. you a full con and fair composition. submit an injury claim with Morgan. Morgan it's so easy uh it's more like. using an app and hiring a lawyer with. Morgan and Morgan you can submit a claim. without ever having to leave the couch. just open up your phone and in eight. clicks or less you're already done so if. you're ever injured in an accident you. can check out Morgan and Morgan their. fee is free unless they win for more.

information go to forthepeople.com. slash bad friends or dial pound law. that's pound 529 from your cell phone. that's for for the people.com bad. friends or pound law that's pound529. from your cell. can I ask you this question why are you. asking because I feel like you're asking. me this because you want to do something. with Andrew. I want to do something no no no no I no. believe it or not I'm not asking because. of that I'm asking because it's similar. because I want to do something with you.

are you being real with me right now. yeah you and I would have a good one. yeah yeah I want to do something with. you yeah who else could be in there. uh wolf. there you go wolf let me ask you. something Bud let's be real dude do you. own this company here no no you're just. an employee right yeah right but check. it out dude right if you got to produce. uh Bobby Lee Chris [ __ ] podcast you. would leave this company no.

with our [ __ ] podcast do it I'm happy. he doesn't want to do it bro hello fresh. gives us real money oh my God I love tea. Integrity yeah that's Integrity. Integrity Hitler would have killed him. for that yeah I don't know you would. have died for that make no mistake they. kill the artist and they kill the people. like that with the Integrity I hate. Integrity can't be broken yeah I don't. like you can't be prone I want to break. people oh yeah you can't break it why. are you so unbreakable you can't break.

them do you hate do you like that or do. you think it's admirable. did that to me for him or did what to. you so I was on Mad TV do you hear about. this. I was on Mad TV right and faheem Anwar. was an open Miker right an open Micah. right he I saw an open mics and I was at. Mad TV and I go uh I wrote a sketch with. um a couple of writers and I it was like. um Dave Navarro was in it okay right and.

um it was like what you know when MTV. had those cribs that crib show sure so I. was gonna do a Bobby Lee crib show right. and you know you go through my house and. you open up this is my cloud you open up. and I wanted an Arab man. oh. right like kind of with just wearing a. you know man little head thing making. something. and just look up we don't even you know. address it and just close it right. like making food or a bomb I don't know. an Oppenheimer yeah I don't know what it.

was no it's a stew or something that's. hilarious yeah yeah and he said no for. him so I walked up to him he was an. Obama I go and yeah dude it's like it's. sag intermitting and you'll get paid. like 1500 because we're gonna use it as. a you know I mean uh a guest star or. whatever and he goes no. I go why are you guys I don't want to. play an Arab person. he's like wolf I like that yeah now wolf. is one of those guys the difference is. Wolf would have did it no he went off. you know they won't put it down no no no. no no no I would have sucked dick for it.

I would have sucked. everyone's dick for it even the [ __ ]. sound guy yeah I wouldn't even ask what. you do he has a boom what do you do I'm. a boom oh you have no power you know. what my point is is that yeah I was like. I'm that guy I think I'll do anything to. make it right would you but now uh I. would say a few years ago yes but. definitely back then yeah yeah no what. but but but but what now that you have. made it in many ways what what do you. feel is missing because I feel like.

you're a guy who you've careers become. so successful but you push the goal post. further and further away and you don't. realize your success oh no no I'm. already there you feel it you feel good. about yourself now then no I I feel um. oh. it's just she broke it just no The. Matrix I'm being real because I don't. know because I'm being real I want to. say the right thing right I feel like I.

have everything that I've ever wanted or. needed right the future. yeah. why [ __ ] you say that I'm just kidding. did you get a new maid by the way or is. it still Kyla's mom Clara's Mom it's. still your maid that's beautiful because. you're connected to her it's beautiful. yeah yeah no it's a control thing I. think oh a fool with who from you to you. want to have some sort of control still. I need I need to know things yeah you. need you want to be able to you know I.

mean ask questions yeah yeah I mean I. mean the other day I go. hey I want to come over to your new. house and see the dogs she goes not. today. I go why do you have a guy over she's. like yeah oh she just said yes and I go. okay does that hurt you. what guy. someone you know. so it does hurt you still and could I. say another thing yeah I would like to. get this off of my chest and you're not. gonna [ __ ] believe this David right.

let me tell you another thing. she's on Raya right we know. okay. you have seen her on there I know I've. seen her on there too okay I've seen you. on there and a guy you see me on there. no no no I deleted that account a guy. that we've had on my. that we're associated with right like to. run Raya. okay oh yeah went for him her right it's. not good and now this guy has been.

texting me hey let's hang out but you. know that he went in on Ryan. you know he went far right yeah he. doesn't know that you know. I because he never texts me and it's. been like two or three texts in a week. uh right so I think he thinks he has no. there's a feeling right so let's hang. out let's party let's you know what I. mean let's get let's hang right I'm like. yeah let's do it next time back and you. know what I mean but you know how did. you know that he messaged Sean Ryan she. told me she showed me she showed you she. look at who liked me.

got it right and there should be a rule. no. there should be a [ __ ] rule listen. right. right no no because if you and asked in. the middle of this yeah Dave if you and. Esther right broke off right this should. just be rude that Carlos can't like. Esther oh my God why are you putting me. in that situation because you guys are. all close. that you would perturb you. so this guy's like a Carlos in your life. like he's closer to you yeah.

yeah it was George Kimmel dude that. would laugh that was hilarious no no. this person is like a guy that I'm a. huge fan of oh [ __ ] yeah I'll tell you. later. I'll tell you later what it is so yeah I. um I I you're not gonna believe it wolf. I think uh yeah you're not gonna believe. you might work for his podcast I I think. that I think that my general rule yeah. like even see Mr Dave King even though I. haven't been in any of his movies yet. just even the simple fact being in the.

presence of him yeah if Dave died. tomorrow yeah in an accident Esther's. like the only thing that's going to make. me feel better is to go on a date with. Chris I wouldn't do it because even when. I'm in a man's presence and I know him. to be with that woman of course friends. and family off off limits but even that. even Wolf's girlfriend I would not even. come close to anybody's you have a. girlfriend wolf.

you too man. we don't do right I wouldn't I wouldn't. I wouldn't hit on them I wouldn't hit on. that it's not right but if there's. plenty of women out there okay but come. out with this song and there's even more. women now because most a lot of guys are. going trance.

right now it's better right it's better. because you have not only do you have a. men's sperm count being altered by some. type of I think conspiracy either from. the Russians or the or the uh Chinese to. infiltrate our water to make us more. feminine because everybody I know is. only having daughters so that's one more. women they're coming up. more biological men yeah becoming female. so there's as many women as you can so. there's no reason to hook up or even try. to hook up with one of your friends. girlfriends that is a power move yeah.

that is it's all coming from power and I. think those people I think those people. I would love for them to have been in. Nanking in December of 1937. thank you. so much for that yeah I really. appreciate that dude yeah never ever. ever ever ever uh try to try to hit on. she tried to hit on me and I rebuffed it. well you dude first of all I um I I feel. like I only see you like once or twice a. year and every time I see you though. every time I see you I be real.

everything be nice every time I see you. yeah yeah you're you look like a a. person to me that I think is is is is is. is is going towards happy but not there. yet. you're always struggling you know what I. mean like you're but but I don't believe. you to be in a negative space or or. whatever I believe you to be this guy is. is right on the fence and he's leaning. happy so what is it going to take to. push you into being happy you know you. see all those people working those. Cobalt mines in Africa yeah right.

thousands of people that's where we get. our you know the battery from the cell. phones yeah I appreciate the 5G thank. you so much for doing it thank you. because we love it you know I mean and I. know that you respect that we have the. phones yeah I'm gonna get a Tesla as. well and I know Cobalt goes into that. yeah so without your hard work but my. point is is that you know these kids. like five-year-old kids are making two. dollars a day and these just what's so. funny I'm not like why do you left. because every time there's a [ __ ]. every time I know your humor or some.

[ __ ] [ __ ] up thing you laugh are. you trying. but it's you [ __ ] you Mexican piece. of [ __ ] why do you laugh about the. Cobalt people [ __ ] dying on the. [ __ ] because I know you're leading to. a joke. there's no joke I know you're mentioning. Cobalt people no because because I. was gaslighting me. I'm not because you once I'm finished. saying what I'm gonna say right yeah. you're gonna realize there is no joke. right and then who's the [ __ ] sad one.

you are that because I assumed it was. you made an assumption right today right. I see these kids you know doing the. Cobalt right right right and I'm like it. just kind of dawned on me like because I. was laying down playing you know. Hogwarts Legacy. you know what I mean and I was like. doing my own you know I mean kind of. mining in it you know I mean. yeah you know what I mean because I you. know I was capturing beasts right and I.

got some puff skins right and you know. you have to Cone them and then feed them. right and I was mining their fur right. and then on my phone I was like. there's a difference there's a. difference in my mining. I'm in a good place yeah it's like R2 to. mine yeah yeah it's not the same right. and people live these terrible lives. right and I live it's such a great light. and now you know I've lived a life in. the last 25 years that was magical the.

last 25 years of my life. has been storybook and I've complained. through the whole thing so what about. the next one this is the whole [ __ ]. thing just bitching and moaning my back. hurt you know I mean and if I look back. I go wow you had a storybook life yeah. right and it keeps getting better so. right so my point being is is that I. feel like if there is a God and if there. is I'm gonna get there and he's gonna go.

you [ __ ] through the whole thing you go. downstairs. I don't want to go downstairs. right Purgatory what I think you go to. Purgatory. [Music]. yeah. okay I'll tell you why you're going. there to jail why because you want to. tell me I'm going there. too. and you do bad things. I know I'm not gonna say anything. because I want to edit it out right bad. things.

are similar many ways right yeah I want. to say this my friend right I think God. said no I'm gonna say this right we're. both going there so you see you have. another thing coming. all right I'm sorry Dave my you know him. too right he does some things all right. so you want to go there I think shut. your mouth it's not a bad thing shut. your [ __ ] mouth I love you man thanks. for coming to New York yeah to help us. out yeah right but you know I mean I'm. not going downstairs I'm not saying. you're going to hell I'm saying. Purgatory so I think you have a good. heart but like we're in a little bit of.

trouble when we die oh so you think that. I'm going to be in the middle ground. it's gray yeah that's what I'm saying in. purgatory I'm lost I think it's like an. empty am I Asian am I still Korean no. maybe Korean no you're just skin I want. to be a spirit you're just skin oh I'm. just skin yeah if I if I'm in [ __ ]. purgatory and there's a mirror and I'm. like I'm [ __ ] still Korean I'm so mad. hell yeah for sure because he has ethics.

you can tell but he won't suck a dick to. get a [ __ ] TV job here's the thing. like me and Carlos. here's the thing is Dave going to heaven. oh yeah for sure Davis well no the Jews. don't go to they don't have an afterlife. right they just go to the dirt. y. I believe there's no afterlife no you. just go into the dirt yeah it's like. it's complicated but pretty but that's. why but that's that's why it's kind of. different Jews are just when we're dying. we're done we're in the dirt Lifestyle. the Catholics Catholics think they're.

wrong then that they're gonna be up. there anyway or like in purgatory or. whatever again what you're doing here on. Earth will say if you don't go to. confession but it's also there's also BS. because it's like Al Capone according to. Catholics when is in heaven right now. because he was absolved of his sins by a. priest on his deathbed yes I can see. that I can see now it's like you go so. that's right it doesn't make any sense. to me but I think no I believe that you. know when like because I heard Jeffrey. Dahmer right before these glasses yeah. that's great.

um did he die he got beaten to death you. know what I mean in prison he turned his. life over to Jesus Christ he might and. now he's in heaven supposedly but. imagine being. yeah well the rules based on the rules I. think you still go to Purgatory if you. get last rights did Christians believe. if you turn your will and your life over. the Jesus Christ no matter what time. 10 seconds before you die right you go. to right to Heaven are you gonna do that.

right yeah. that's exactly what I'm gonna do yeah. Dahmer did it other people did it again. did it yeah yeah yeah what do you think. you'll die. when where. oh [ __ ] that's a good one Rikers Island. no he's not going to go to jail yeah I'm. not going to jail dude are you on your. dude very difficult coming dude. [ __ ] your behavior dude is. insane why do you think you need to go. to jail oh like I just get caught buying. drugs or something yeah yeah you do.

something Shady. man. I can say some stuff man all right so. yeah back up dude no you're right you're. Angelic right now you're right what. you're acting in Angelic like a good. person yeah like you are Angelic but oh. you're saying that I'm do you let me. you're pretending I'm a CD guy yeah I am.

what would you do if when you get to. Purgatory it's Carlos but it's mixed he. has hair on the top not on the sides. what so it's like a mohawk yeah yeah but. it's but he can't grow it out so that's. I would laugh so hard everything's what. would I look like then you think you'll. be bald because everything's reversed I. think yeah if everything's reversed no. you would have you would have long hair. coming out and then just just the just. the samurai thing on the head oh that'd. be really funny right in the middle of. your head that'd be cool dude yeah. that'd be really cool yeah yeah yeah.

yeah but you having the knowledge and. the wherewithal to say that you know. that the last 25 years of your life have. been great but yeah you've complained. makes me believe that you're a lot more. grounded and a lot happier than you've. ever been well the truth the truth of. the matter is is that I um. you know I we've been really diving into. a a and going to a lot of meetings and. doing all that kind of stuff and I don't. know what it is it's like I've never. felt this.

um kind of. desperation to really. do the work when it comes to my sobriety. because. um I believe I believe it's the key to. um hmm a happier life it was right I. started a um my own meeting in La yeah. um and I've never done that before out. of all the years I've you know I. I was so so surprised I I got the place. I we went about the thing the you know. the book and the all the chips and all.

that stuff we rented the place out you. know what I mean and we did all the. things people showed up and when I'm in. La it's like I can't wait to go to that. meeting you know what I mean and it's. just like. I don't know it's like I feel like I'm. giving back right you know what I mean. and I you know I think that's what. life is about and let's be real because. we talk about purgatory you know what I. mean about our seedy behaviors but the. end of the day I think that life is. about helping others yeah is it not I.

think getting out of ourselves the. things that I think have changed in my. mind is yes life is about helping others. pushing you know what you can forward. and we're all connect I think all living. things are connected like I used to be. the guy that'd be like I don't want a. pet pets get this animal away like. humans are the number one but now I feel. like we're all connected like the Avatar. like the yeah like the spirit of a dog. or something like that is connected you. know you're we're not that different. from a pig you're right we're just like. a couple of a couple of you know numbers. different on the DNA yeah what we're.

talking about is I think that you know. you are just I think that you're in in. the best place that I've seen you in a. long time even though you're just coming. off for 48 hours yeah yeah I felt. spiritually you feel good. yeah I feel you know it's funny I uh. maybe it's because Angie Santino is on. the other side of the world. and and that's what it is and that's why. I was asking before how long do you. think it'll it'll go because the truth. is I am I am looking to start something. with uh Andrew Santino.

right here I want to take what I see. what you guys have is I have a cold hard. rule about never ever ever going near. someone's girlfriend that does not apply. to podcasts I'm going to steal and take. what you have like the Japanese took Nan. King. I'm gonna take it right and then yeah. take it from your heart and I'll take. your entire team as well including Dave. King I'll be honest with you dude. go for it. I think we should end it. wow I think we should end it right now.

you just spoke truth. yeah we do have a tour that we have to. do right and a big one a big tour so. we're gonna finish the tour yeah saving. our money right and then you know we'll. address it afterwards I guess that's. what it is I mean um or never address it. like I did right. um let me ask you something man. you could do that pretty easy huh just. cut people out like that. oh yeah. Cutthroat yeah yeah you've done that. before yep yeah yeah how's that feeling. your soul.

don't feel anything. I don't feel it now you do no of course. you're a good dude no yeah you ever want. to hurt people yeah yeah but yeah no but. uh it's one of those things where if. this podcast ever ended I would start a. podcast with Santino immediately you uh. but the the honest truth though is you. would start one with him and not me no. I'd start one with the both of you. you would do it three ways I do what Sal. did I would start one with JoJo Rosa and. me at the same time oh wow yeah yeah. yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah.

I hate pranks. pranks suck don't you hate pranks I. don't like a prank at all I'm being real. no because I if because it's pranks to. me are sucker punches we're doing real. comedy here do it to my face let's do it. give me your material I saw one the. other day right on Tick Tock right this. Mexican kid or whatever he takes one of. those didgeridoo or something right he. has a thing that makes a noise right and. he's at a Home Depot and there's this. manly man you know I mean picking out.

his Hammers and this kid comes up behind. him and blows this thing in this man's. ear. scares the [ __ ] out of this man right. the man turns around tackles them and. this kid's going please don't please. don't I'm sorry it's just a prank it's. just a prank right and in my head I'm. like smash him smash his skull into the. ground yeah he deserves it yeah right. I I hate him yeah I never liked him when. I'm watching them do you like him no you. deserve to get you know whatever's. coming to you like the Brazilian ones. are good though there was a they're.

scary The Crazy Ones they do in Brazil. what do they do oh they [ __ ] people. walk walk into an elevator right and the. elevator stops and there'll be a flick. of the light the light will go out and a. little demonic girl would crawl through. a little opening and then the lights. will come out and they'll be a demonic. girl there and people will have these. PTSD traumatic functions and it's. Brazilian pranks yeah yeah well if you. take it to that level where people need. to do EMDR and then therapy yeah then.

that's pretty good yeah that's worth it. right but like the American pranks. though I don't like black yeah like a. like a like a tick tock or a YouTube. thing it's stupid to me I don't need. that no I I'd listen guys I know you're. trying to make a living. right. and make your living I know there's. entertainment is entertainment and there. are a lot of people that do like it by. the way I was just you know go ahead I'm. sorry um I love you I love you too I've. known you for a long time and you've. always been supportive of me well I. could I I mean we've said this before.

the reason why I like you so much is. because you know I met you when my. career was legitimately not going well. right you know I mean I was like. you know just reaching for straws really. you know I mean I was desperate right. and I was in New York and I was on Obi. when I think Anthony was gone Anthony. was gone and you were there yeah you. know what I mean and I had never met you. before I never even knew you yeah and I. remember doing the podcast with you or. the radio show yeah this radio show yeah. oh this guy's good you know what I mean. yeah and then we had breakfast.

afterwards with with Opie and I just. remember you being so nice to me and. like. um. is that the right word yes and we had. also like this same kind of humor I. guess in terms of quickness or whatever. right and I was just like no I really. like this guy and you just stuck in my. brain since then I mean as a good dude. you know I appreciate it baby. um I think too that's why I was bringing. up because you know social media what's. helped me a lot getting off it is not. seeing comments and not seeing any of. that stuff because I made a decision.

like a hard decision to say if I don't. know who you are like at all if I don't. have if I've never personally met you if. I don't know you in any capacity at all. I've never been in the same room with. you then I won't let your opinion of me. you know sway me one way or another I. won't let it if you tell me how great I. am I won't let that get in if you tell. me how much I suck I won't let that get. in I'll listen to it from friends and. people I know so because I because. because you get involved in that where. you start to then become the comedian. that you don't want to become because. you're listening you know somebody will. make a comment on a YouTube or an.

Instagram and say something you're doing. is not funny it's like the same guy that. is at the Knicks game saying that the. player on the Knicks sucks it's like no. the player on the Knicks even it's at. the end of the bench he's the best. basketball player you've ever seen in. your life just like you know comedians. doing it how we do it whether you think. we're funny or not it's like there's not. a chance in hell a person making comment. on YouTube could ever even do half of. what we're ten times funny them on their. best day on our worst day you know like. so I've just kind of separated all that. and because of all that I do feel like. I've been the comic that I want to be.

and I appreciate you know when I hear my. peers like you say you're doing good. work. there's two things I want to say yeah I. thought you were doing like Korean Pizza. no. okay. but I what I want to say is two things. okay okay number one. this [ __ ] lives in clips. right so I used to go. if we're I was doing a party with. somebody and it's not killing the whole. time right Uncle oh my God don't even. put it out eating it right and now I.

don't care yeah because they all live in. Clips number two right. direct messages that I get you know. because I'm single right so how do you. get girls from drug messages because I. can't look I can't look at it all. because 90 50 of it's hatred sure so. what I have to do is I have to skim. through to find you know what I mean. yeah chicks through the thing but. quickly right right because if I read. any of it because you could read the. first five letter right right if you tap. on it you get to read the whole thing.

but I'll read like you [ __ ] [ __ ]. unfunny right and I have to read through. all that so I do it quickly so it's. really hard so yeah but I think even. that even that when I was single I think. that even you know that you can get. trapped in that trying to look for women. and find that like who only know you. from this way and if if the whole method. of them trying to get with you is. through your DM then already it's it's. not what you want already you're like I. would keep that at arm's length now yeah. huh how did you meet your wife I met her.

at a bar I met her at a bar at a comedy. club no no no no she ended up she didn't. know I was a comedian but then she found. out I'm saying but I've been with her. eight years now you know but I'm saying. I've I don't have all the answers but. for I I do feel since I've been off. social media my whole life like has. improved in a way and I've said because. I said to myself if I may not be. commenting back to everyone I realize. like I can't give my energy to complete. strangers I do it on the stage and on. the podcast this when I get my energy to. people I don't know I can't then give.

the energy to them also on social media. and Facebook and YouTube I don't do that. anymore and I feel like Korea has just. been going up up like little by little. the way it should be like when you're. losing weight you can't lose you're. killing it. I mean your name comes up like in in on. the west coast and people are can't even. believe I know you I'm the next man. alive. no dude. Dane Cook yes. you're the next thing cook dad are you.

gonna come to Radio City in September. will you be in New York doing sex in the. city or what so in September you're. doing Radio City September 22nd I'm. doing Radio City Music Hall tickets. what I would like to do is just come to. support I would need backstage passes. sure right yeah I'm not going to go in. the audience no that's ridiculous yeah. right I'm gonna be in line like oh I'm. gonna here see Krista Stefano yeah right. I'm not doing that right I need the pass. right I need an extra pass for some girl.

that I'm bringing yeah to get clout. right and um. fruit bowl. what's the biggest venue you ever did. don't tease me dude no no because what. do you mean no because Sacramento. punchline. because because no because you because. when I met you I remember you doing. Gotham you had all the shows sold out. killing and then but then it changed. like the last few years now I do. theaters no I don't why do the comedy. clubs every other comic book why don't.

you do the big theaters do you not want. to well we're starting with the [ __ ]. bad friends thing to see how that's. gonna go no but you personally like. Santa. do it what do you mean you don't know. how to do it you've been in the game so. the comedy you want to do clubs in. Sacramento all right. oh for me for me it's this okay I don't. know how to do it but you and also yes. you do. how. you have a powerful agent and you have a. fan base right so what I'm gonna do the. two things that everybody just to.

realize I could do it because I just. played a club. in San Jose right and uh San Jose Improv. yeah shout out yeah I love them and you. know I could have done probably eight. soul-out shows or whatever easily and in. my head I'm like whoa I could that's. what rooms fills you know 600 people. that's like a mini theater right and. then if I could have sold that many. tickets I could just one night at a. theater could have done the California. theater right there in San Jose maybe I. don't know 1500 seats or something yeah.

maybe I could have done that I'll be. there February 25th yeah go but my point. is is that you're right I think I can. but what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna do. this run with Andrew okay right and then. and then the next time I go on tour I'll. do that okay okay because anyway thank. you so much for supporting me and coming. here and helping me because Andrew is a. Hollywood star now and when I found out. that you were the guy that was gonna. help me out here today in New York I was. so excited and so relieved because I. honestly believe that I love you so much.

and I love you more than Mark Normand I. love give you more than Andrew Schultz I. love you more than um Bobby Kelly and. Jim Norton no I love all of them but my. point is. there's a special part in my heart I. appreciate that but thank you so much. thank you for being a bad friend thank. you for having me and also just real. quick I just want to say um or any all. the stuff that was edited out I have. been recording on my end you can go to. patreon.com. thank you.

[Music].