Rudy v Juicy | Ep 126 | Bad Friends
rage shadow legends bobby's playing it. right i'm playing all right i love it as. we're doing this ad have you ever. dreamed of fitting uh an amazing truly. triple a quality game right into your. pocket something you can dive into and. play at any time now you can with raid. shadow legend i gotta tell you the. graphics on this are. bonkers it was wild explore millions of. champion combinations master countless. tactics as you take on raid bosses. dungeon runs campaign battles and pvp. arena matches you can build your team. develop your champions and raid your way. let me just say something right now okay. the quality of this game is.
like a console game it's. so beautiful it's gorgeous on your phone. yeah it's it's gorgeous it's fun to play. guys and um. yeah i'm totally into this man rage. shadow legends has an insane variety of. bosses fancy what's your favorite yeah. andrew my favorite character is. hellraiser the dragon let's talk about. how you guys can beat him the dragon got. two main tricks terrible breath and a. host of the buffs it has a skill he'll. use every few turns where it rears up.
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new players will get a free starter pack. worth almost 30 dollars to kick start. your game we're talking a free champion. tyrell 200k silver one time boost. uh one energy refill and one engine. shard so you can summon an ancient. champion as soon as you get in the game. that's pretty incredible man a 2k silver. a one xp boost and a one energy refill. and the one ancient shard that's right. what else do you need to know that bad. friends want you to download this game. and check it out ray shadow.
legends who are these two. you two are idiots. oh you two or something we're bad. friends. hey. bobby's here. what's up bob. we're not starting yet all right. i'm not my energy hey no you're right. anyway um no because you know on the.
internet my ass is glistening from the. live show and they put um because i put. oil butter on my butt and um people are. going i'm jerking off to it or you know. what i mean this is the greatest thing. i've ever seen two positive comments so. far i'm jerking off to it. but the thing is that i i feel like i'm. being used you are being used you are. being used. welcome to the internet welcome to. comedy welcome to being a a personality. you are for other people's enjoyment and. entertainment yeah but not in a sexual. way i never no no no no no sex is part.
of it buddy sec you are a sexuality you. respect me for my mind you don't have a. good mind. that's why it's broke your whole body. baby my whole body your whole body oh. look we hung up your thong behind you we. had bobby's mom on there which was like. probably one of the greatest. greatest guests we've ever had other. than. our newfound family friend jet ski. johnson give it up for juicy. juice right jessie's gone no jessie. jessica well that is her juicy juicy. she's her new name you don't like like. juicy it's it's juicy now officially.
yeah do you not like it or does it feel. make you feel offensive. i like all the nicknames i'm a big fan. of nicknames so it's going to be jesse. jetski juicy johnson. so sick yeah that's so sick for now. has anybody tried to create a nickname. for you that you didn't like. like the c word yeah like and you're. like. don't call me that did you say that no. sometimes people say like what do you. prefer jet ski or jesse and like they're. asking me my pronouns and i'm like you. can call me whatever and then they're. like okay well why don't i call you a.
[ __ ]. you don't call you a [ __ ] you don't. call jet ski a [ __ ] baby you're part of. bad friends mafia you know who named you. juicy. one of you guys i did you did juicy baby. yeah yeah i like you i think juicy is. the is the move and we should introduce. juicy our new family member to someone. that's on her way out if she keeps up. her attitude yeah. jewels hello rudy i like juicy juicy's. very sweet. i know yeah.
that's that's that's not your angle i. like your ankles. that's a really good angle it's a smart. angle it's a filipino angle that's how. you guys survive you know what i call. that angle the dirt day. the third thing yeah the dirty angle. what is that it's the he's the president. this is a terrible person oh oh the dirt. tank yeah the dirt day oh yeah this is. the dirty angle and what you're trying. to do i like it but i see right through. it okay you like her yeah yeah yeah. and she wore her bad friend shirt today. she's looking to not get fired yeah yeah. she wore the shirt she's being sweet. yeah she showed up early.
yeah she drove herself i know like. usually i have to drag her into the car. so i'll be there prompt at new. right she's not your competition no not. at all i'm not i'm just saying oh. defensive defensive defensive yeah. what what what do you like about her you. don't know anything about her you know. nothing about her when i came in she. just her vibe is just very sweet and.
nice correct yeah that is true why don't. you guys have a conversation then. right now i'm not good with. consciousness no you have to your job is. on the line my friend all right all. right so just you guys were talking. earlier about anime and stuff what the. [ __ ] we already did it's done we did i'm. impressed with rudy because uh you are. how old 20 yeah you're young and when i. was 20 i was working at a smoke shop i. dropped out of college i'm older you. know. i'm 32. oh ancient.
you guys look similar in age though you. look so you look so young. thank you juicy looks so young yeah 32. i'm only six years older than her and i. look like i'm [ __ ] her dad yeah i. could be your dad. i could live yeah on tv no no if we. walked into this in a restaurant i was. like my daughter wants something oh they. wouldn't buy it a hundred percent they. go that's his kids i could be your. grandfather. uh great great great great great oppa. on tv on tv on tv yeah that'd be weird. and then who would she be that's our kid. then that's our what what skin tag made.
yeah yeah all right like she looks like. she would grow on your neck. yeah like a background and they're like. hey get that removed i go no that's rudy. you go to the dermatologist i don't know. that's rudy you look like something i. develop when i get skin cancer like you. and you why she grows on you. because whenever white people like me. get darker. when i get dark spots like your color. then i have to go to the derm to make. sure it's not cancerous. you're my cancer yeah it's like a bin.
benign you hope it's benign. you better hope it's benign yeah. malignant's the bad one the nine is the. good one you you you really watch anime. juice i've seen a few animes and i. really like them and so i was getting. some recommendations she's obsessed yeah. what's the new one you're on we talked. about it already. no that's the you're making that up no i. say yeah. what does that look like george kagi. osama george is the only producer in the. house today by the way we're putting him.
to work everyone's gone kagi osama love. is war that's sick that's a great title. love is war love is war look at that oh. my god what is that there that's a kagi. osama oh. now who is that rudy um i'm still. watching the first episode so you're not. watching so you're not into it. i'm still watching i'm trying to wait. wait. so you're we ask you what are you into. right now right you're a crocker [ __ ]. man. and you go cocky or someone which is. fine right but you're like i'm still.
watching the first episode which you. haven't seen i'm already into it. you're going to finish it too yeah like. every episode yeah you watch it like you. read a book yeah george what are you. doing you're in anything. oh my god.
we weren't even gonna do that it's not. even. let him do it now. now we have to see it here we go. oh get some somebody else's review oh. this is stupid. it's like oh just turn it up just turn. it off george came on. george kimmel. juicy what's your first impression of. george. have you met him before uh just now we. met hey remember i i book everybody who. comes out here so. just just so you know honestly and just.
so you know he has [ __ ] nothing zero. power power at all so just be honest if. you want to be booked on anything ever. you ask bobby or me. no no power power you just judge freely. yeah yeah go ahead but you know. it goes through right it goes through me. be quiet what's your impression and be. honest please be honest. and and i'll know you're lying i just. look at us don't even look at him. no need to be too honest. oh george i swear to god. i think under. these working conditions. he's really holding it together.
he's got a pretty hostile boss yeah he. does he does but you know what who's. hostile. but they've been working together for. 20 how many years a long time over time. you just said that i was a hostile boss. well you're yelling at him a lot yeah he. does yell at him i would be crying if i. was george back but here's the. difference. here's the difference juice yeah you. don't get yelled at because you don't do. that kind of [ __ ]. he yells because george does that stuff. you wouldn't see something you're too.
good i found the boss at home depot. oh my god yeah all right and i had an. employer right. taking the chainsaw and he's like trying. to attack dogs. right. as a boss i would have to go hey. cut it out. number one don't use that it's a brand. new chase at number two don't try to. kill the patrons dogs right so if that's. the wood slicer not the dog slices. exactly right exactly thank you so much. and you would be the good employee that. was the employee of the month you would. come and go what would you say so i'd. say and then you come from behind and go.
what that said oh that's the wood slicer. the dog slicer is all five. exactly yeah and you would get a raise. but my point is is that if i didn't yell. at that guy for doing that then the home. depot would be it would be. a difficult working it would be it'd be. lows. yeah it would be low it would be low it. would be low and we just can't have that. around here this has to be home depot. yeah this is home depot this is home. okay. did you stop. youtube is gonna have a cut ad right now.
they're going to run a home depot ad. because we've said it five [ __ ] times. all right right right this is what. happens youtube is listening so. diligently and by the way i'd like to. say something to youtube you guys are. [ __ ] [ __ ] they're [ __ ]. [ __ ] you know they keep you guys are. great my favorite [ __ ] them no it's. google now and you know what they're. doing to us it's great they keep taking. away us they pull us out of the out of. the algorithm because we say crazy [ __ ]. well don't say youtube sucks then maybe. that's just stuck there let's start. there [ __ ] you two. that's what i'm saying i don't think.
they like it. that should be the cover should i do it. too yeah do it [ __ ] you hey youtube suck. a big dick. face. there it is yeah. and you're saying something guys about. youtube go ahead go ahead guys more of a. vimeo girl oh.
well you got a lot of [ __ ] from last. night. no no no it wasn't too bad what do you. mean you got so much love on the live. stream people i think people loved it i. saw one one uh. one one comment is all i need to survive. for uh like a full month i think i saw. one comment that criticized why we. actually never put my finger inside of. your butt why and well i said we never. got a tip we said we would do it for a. thousand dollars yeah yeah i was he. wanted me to put it my finger in his ass. for a thousand dollars all the way. and then for 10 grand put it out and.
taste it which i would have done no one. would had the balls to tip 10k yeah. would you have done that. if for 10 grand yeah i mean it'd be hard. to say no yeah you couldn't say no if. it's a lot of money that someone gives. but i mean who do we have some saudi. [ __ ] prince watching the show yeah. would you stick your finger in my. butthole for a thousand dollars. no. well let's play this game she's a decent. human. being. okay so 10 000. i feel like any uh butt play is not.
great for my image the rest of my career. [Laughter]. you're putting your finger in his anus. you think is damaging to you you're in. control you're you have the power yeah. yeah how about you sticking your own. finger in your own butthole that's. different that's only fans that's only. found yeah that's a whole different. thing. yeah yeah yeah you know in fact you know. you're right you know you're like a. daughter to me so i don't want you to do.
any of that kind of stuff. okay would you eat things on the. internet like how about this what if we. said here's a bowl full of maggots that. are alive. and put some cereal like we'll put oat. milk in it just to make it tasty. oat milk is delicious right which it's. alive maggots would you eat it for how. much. oh my god it's. 100 maggots i have to eat all hundreds. yeah so many maggots how about 20. like. 10 maggots is a lot yeah 10 maggots how. much for 10 megas with some oat milk.
ten thousand i'll do a thousand a maggot. that's pretty good how about you jules i. wanna try frogs. yeah she wants to eat the [ __ ] up [ __ ]. you know how you know how much she would. have crushed that. yeah. 20 frogs in a bowl. 20 is fine but it needs to be fried not. raw right right of course we're going to. cook the [ __ ] frogs yeah what's. rogan's show what was that called fair. factor yeah you would have killed on. fear factor you would have been so good. there was there's nothing that you. wouldn't eat.
what were they. i mean they ate a lot of they had a lot. of like. you know i don't even know it was like. testicles of certain kinds of animals or. the [ __ ] of an animal. you know you know what i saw i saw a. tweet the other day and i thought of you. i almost sent it to you it's some. someone goes wait till pro lifers find. out about balut. and i was like that's incredible that's. so true i thought about that yeah yeah. wait till pro-lifers find out about. balut but pro-lifers eat egg it's the. same thing yeah but balut's like it's. developed oh yeah that's true it's like.
a [ __ ] bird you know what pollutants. i'm figuring it out context. we ate it we ate it on the show. tell her tell juice what blue it is it's. like a uh raw egg but inside there's. like a baby duck and it's like a really. good food in the philippines yeah look. that's a photo. oh my god and they eat that on the. street like you know how we have tacos. and hot dogs on the street after a bar. this is their bacon that's a hot dog. yeah that's a bacon wrap top you put. vinegar and salt and it's really you.
need it. you need it i threw up i almost threw up. live on the show it was so and a lot of. it has hair yeah i was just gonna ask is. there like yes yes yeah the smell is. unbelievable it's it's and they act they. are still kind of like they they say. things like damn. please please don't eat sony please. please. and the and this [ __ ] one yes. yeah would you eat that i don't think so. yeah. no judgment. it's a cultural thing but yeah probably.
so if you were in in a country different. country. and they had some sort of weird thing. that you know that the people ate you. wouldn't eat it you would refuse i i'm. my dad's always like my whole life you. know you should at least try something. once you know with food and stuff but. like. there's certain things that i just don't. sound good to me like do you know this. sushi with the egg on there's like some. kind of sushi like like uh uni you mean. uni or no no um what's it called. what's it called um it's called it's. kaleida loves it so it's just an egg.
right i think so like a raw egg or. something i don't know there's some of. that stuff that i'm like i could maybe. do without trying it yes an egg like. that like yolk of an egg. yeah there's some uni down there with. the egg yolk you know what that is that. the little red stuff is. raw. fish eggs. yeah we eat fish eggs. isn't that what caviar is that's yeah. yeah you already yeah you're eating yeah. already. yeah we took you there you ate it. already. those are just bigger ones.
i don't know yeah i should be more. adventurous with things sometimes you. just get set in your ways. what's your way what's your ways like. what's your go-to meal yeah. salads uh a lot of salads that's what. lately i've been trying to like just be. healthy and be consistent with food but. but then occasionally it's like pizza. pizza so good yeah yeah pizza yeah i. [ __ ] hate salads i eat them only. because i know i'm supposed to otherwise. i would never [ __ ] eat a salad ever. again salads [ __ ] suck it depends on. what it is i don't give a [ __ ].
give me a [ __ ] sandwich like candied. walnuts yeah some cranberry i like that. kind of then it's not a salad at some. point they're putting in ice cream. remember the ice cream salad ice cream. sounds oh that's yeah we had ice cream. salad well that's not salad no peanut. sounds just let me describe it can i. describe it thanks bud. back on the right track yeah we're back. up yeah cause we had it together right. yeah it was in tulsa oklahoma really. nice restaurant. beautiful salad right on top of it is a.
feta right it's a it's like a goat. cheese. a goat cheese ice cream. it's cold and it's an ice cream it's. literally ice cream on lettuce on. lettuce no thank you it's so. [ __ ] candied walnuts. ice cream has no business on salad ice. cream it's so. good. that's all it took. i mean that's amazing yeah we i took a. scooter every day to go get that.
get the [ __ ] out of here you guys. lettuce has no [ __ ] business being. with ice cream yeah i'm telling you. right now dude you you you would blow. your mind check this out. what would it be like without the. [ __ ] salad just the ice cream. pretty good. so what do i need this salad for because. they work well together they complement. each other how is that what kind of. lettuce we opened with that it's you. know usually ice cream you close with it. that's an opener this we opened with it. with some you know bacon you know what. was the middle who featured. a featured what what would we eat.
deer or something or and who was the. closer the closer was the heavens. creme brulee or something oh yeah. oh yeah. anyway did you say ribs. i don't usually eat dessert so i forgot. the dessert but yeah we have why don't. you eat dessert what are you talking. about he ate ribs for dessert [ __ ]. idiot. [ __ ] [ __ ] my dad calls them. pigsicles that's so good so. your dad is the [ __ ] man where's your. where is your dad north carolina. when i feature for polly coming up next. week i'm going to visit him at the end.
of the tour are you doing good nights uh. yeah yeah yeah raleigh have you done any. dates with polly yet yeah in vegas oh. yeah yeah and what was it like. it's fine we talked about it already. right now yeah last time we talked about. it yeah yeah dude so funny paulie came. into the store the other night and he. was a pop-in on the pop-in sheet yeah. and he was and i was doing tiger belly i. was doing tiger belly live yeah. and he's like what's up bro and i was. like hey man i got to be honest with you. you can't jump me like i love you but i. have to go do tiger belly with bobby if.
this happens this will [ __ ] up. everything yeah he goes you're good dude. you're good and i go also i don't know. if you want to go next anyway because. argus i'm not exaggerating argus threw. up. all over inside the green room bathroom. what. wait listen for people that don't know. august hamilton is one of the most. legendary comedians of the comedy store. he's the [ __ ] man he opens up the. show. every he has new [ __ ] every single time. i see the dude he's an he's an og. respect. respect i love him. argus says to me i'm not kidding he goes.
oh man i'm sorry i threw up all over the. place and i was like are you sick he. goes i don't think so i think uh. i think it's from the carnies carney's. hamburger i just say you ever had one of. those yeah yeah i was like carney's the. train on sunset hot dog yes yeah no i've. never had a hamburger there he's like. well don't do it. dude he puked all over the green room. after the poor guy and then and then. danny made him take a covet test because. danny was like. nervous he was like why are you how do. you not know if you're sick yeah because. argus was like i don't think i'm sick.
and he's like what do you mean what does. that mean you'd be you would know what's. going on so danny went and got him a. [ __ ] covet test and made him take it. yeah and i told polly that and he was. like really i was like i'll wipe down. the mic. before and after it's a [ __ ] it's a. [ __ ] circus it's a [ __ ] circus. yeah argus um saved my life. did he yeah. he got me sober the first time he one of. the guys he's been sober for how long. 40 years yeah it's crazy but although um. i can't if he's speaking at an a meeting. i have to leave.
i have to leave. i have to leave why i can't do it does. he do jokes. he does his act and then it's like. he's asked yeah i mean. yeah i mean uh it's tough it's tough. because he starts you know he'll say. something like yeah me and sammy dave. davis jr you know we used to you know he. told me this one joke at a cafe and it's. like yeah but we're trying to get sober. yeah.
yeah but he's a good man. he's a good man he's a good man he's a. good man i don't want to because now you. know me he's going to come because he. didn't talk to me for two years okay. yeah because i don't know one night i. had to follow him and i was in a bad. mood. and and i said something like you know. run a plus for the old [ __ ] with the. wig yeah that would make sense or. something like that right yeah and but. and i'm on stage i kind of got to laugh. and i could see him in the back.
just you know he just his silhouette. just kind of like takes off his wig. god damn it i mean it was just like i. felt so bad yeah why would you say that. i've said so many bad things by the way. he doesn't have a wig what are you. talking about i don't know i don't know. what the joke was because you're just. being mean yeah okay. and now a word from our sponsor. better help hey man we've talked on the. show pretty openly and candidly very. often. about mental health awareness about. getting help if you need it better help. is of course online therapy that offers.
video phone and even live chat sessions. uh you don't have to see anyone on. camera if you don't want to how well. would you take care of your car if you. had to keep the same one your entire. life. that's how our brains work andrew yeah. it is so why don't we treat them that. that way we should we really should. there's plenty ways to support a healthy. brain like learning new language or. taking power naps but there's also. better help online therapy yeah it helps. i actually use better health online. therapy i love it it's changed my life. you can be matched with the therapist in. under 8 48 hours it's more affordable. like andrew said in and then in.
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that's cool because every box is valued. around 70 but you only pay a fraction of. that price you have to check it out it's. free to sign up you can skip a month or. cancel at any time what's your favorite. box scorch oh yeah i love hot sauces. and they're all from um small brands. right yeah from all over the country. texas nevada even right here in. california you know what i love and more. you know which one i love what carnivore. baby that's right that american bbq rub. in the carnivore box my great american. spice company. what's your favorite box box is your. favorite the slash box slash box you're.
such a sicko man you're nuts the knife. in the slash box is made from bare bones. based in salt lake city so go to box of. austin.com and use that code bad friends. get 20 off your first monthly box when. you sign up at box of awesome.com and. enter the code bad friends at checkout. that's box of awesome.com the code is. bad friends you said anything mean if. they're my rule is if they're killing. then i'll go and make a joke about them. but if somebody goes before me and bombs. i'm not gonna like attack them more. that's a good rule that's a really good. rule but when you're when you're when. you're one of the headliners on the list.
here's the here is our rules at some. point. if i don't know you well i don't talk. anything about you that's probably smart. i i don't i don't i don't like this idea. that people say stuff when they don't. really know somebody it's like what the. [ __ ] is that you don't know that you. don't know how they're gonna take it my. rule is always like if like him and i. it's it's you know no. rules there is a rule and i'm gonna tell. you something right now you did this. thing i'm gonna do it and i'm gonna do. you did something the other day that was. made me so [ __ ] angry that crushed.
for you it crushed for me. so good you did your set i had a really. good set i had a really good set then i. gave him an incredible intro and then he. came out and i just kept coming back out. on stage. no no that's not it that's not it not. only did he walk through the [ __ ]. crowd yeah so i'm on stage doing my. jokes and he's walking around the crowd. and people are cheering him on. he left the building i'm like okay i'm. gonna go into my act he runs back in. right and everyone's cheering and in my. head i'm like.
if he wasn't like a guy that i loved i. might kill him you would do this to me. you would 100 percent when you're doing. your job that is not true when it's your. turn that's not true because when i'm in. the or you've come back up on stage and. [ __ ] around with me when i'm in the or. you've wanted that you've asked for it i. didn't ask for it oh cut it the [ __ ] out. this is an agreement you and i have for. the rest of our lives no that's your. agreement i want to create an agreement. okay go ahead and create one right. you're allowed to do it after you say my. name right first asked me first.
before never. okay that's not the agreement then well. it's the one i'm making i know would you. negotiate this. i wish you guys would do more back to. back spots at this store i like stuff. like that why. because we're friends and it's fun. we're friends and it's fun yeah it's. exciting it's live theater. marin brings me out the same way i've. told you this every time he goes. tried to be friends with this guy we. hung out once it didn't work andrew.
santino he does it every time. wait. every. [ __ ] time i tried to be friends with. a guy he didn't work he was this next. guy. he's all right do you think he's maybe. trying to see if you ask him to hang out. more yeah it's 100 what he's doing i. think so no mark is a sweet and he has. become a good friend i love him he's. just so funny about. hanging out. he's like why don't you ask to go on. hikes i'm like because i can't. i'm squeezing in things during the day i.
don't have i don't have huge gaps of the. day where it's like i can. make my way over to his house and drink. coffee and play with cats and go hike i. don't have a lot of time he loves cats. don't you know i didn't i just said i. didn't want to play with them all day. and then man loves cats he's allowed to. love cats i love him he loves them he. brings me on the same way though he. always goes we try to be friends we hung. out once it's not what he used to say. about me what would he say i can't even. say it say it we'll beep it. no it wasn't it's nothing that you can. believe it was just kind of just so mean.
that like i had to go. afterwards one night this was before i. was i'm very good friends with him now. yeah he's the best i love him now what. happened um like you know when he does. largo he always invites me to open and. like i just love him and he's you know. he's a family. but 12 years ago he would. you would say this next guy. he's a dancing clown he. you know he needs to you know give you. energy and an attitude to get laughs.
you know not really good. joke rider you know. how much of that do you think he meant. all of it how much of it because it. wasn't like i didn't know him. i mean did that hit home for you oh i. would just be. rage tears in the back would you would. you still get up there and dance like a. clown though yeah yeah. that's right that's my that's my talent. that's all i know how to do it. that's the thing because you're watching. it going it's true i mean it's mean it's. mean but true but true that's right mark.
is mean but true you mean true yeah i. could say things about him you know i. mean that you know go ahead he gives no. energy to you i mean yeah no on stage he. gives no energy on stage he's bitter. you have angry i mean i could say things. but i go i always i don't do that he's a. legend i'd say the good things you know. yeah i have give give great intros you'd. give some of the best the best in the. world you've seen a lot working at the. store who gives the worst intros oh my. god. wait can i defer and tell you something. crazy that happened last night yeah the.
ac was out in the original room oh my. god. it was 94 degrees last night so hot we. had three fans going which did nothing. and in the middle of the show. like five comics in i should say greg. fitzsimmons was on stage and a lady. stood up in the back and said. my husband he's choking i need a doctor. can someone get a doctor i know and then. i'm working the room and i know our. security joes and emt so i go jojo we. need joe and he comes in and we clear it.
and. also we're thinking how's he choking we. don't serve food there he has no food. so he wasn't choking kaylee who plays. the piano um. before we figured out what was really. chase kaley chase she tried to give him. the heimlich remover. remover the highlight maneuver and two. people yelled out you're too weak. no and then charlie yes this is in the. middle of fitz's section. what's great what's greg doing greg i. already respected greg a lot as a comic. i respect him so much more now he was.
like. okay everybody let's just stay calm. let's uh give him some room everybody. just step back and then uh they said. okay yeah it looks like he's breathing. out and people started clapping he goes. let's keep the energy down like he was. like controlling the room keeping things. light not trying to get laughs like. during the sky that's really nice that's. really yeah what a gentleman one of the. best comics in the country yeah and then. joe got him out um he was the guy was. fine he i think it was just heat.
exhausted. got him out to the patio and then greg. uh got the show back rolling and then. brought up moshe who mosher cashier. called the 9-1-1. it's like all the comments all the. comments were saving this guy's life for. backstage. oh wow another great guy. they were all helping this guy with. kaylee chase once can i just say. something embarrassing that happened. sure i love kayleigh. i love kayla. oh i was calling fizzy because i wanted. to hear his story so i love kaylee chase.
right. pianist pianist i adore her right is she. permanent now are they still switching. without with the other with like uh. um uh they have three keyboard players. yeah are they all still rotating uh-huh. but she's like i didn't know who her dad. was right sure so one day. you know who her dad is now yeah so one. day i know this is because of the story. uh chevy was chase was on stage chevy. was chase chevy chase was on stage and i. didn't he was eating it i mean that's. just point blank.
and i was at the club he was bombing. yeah nice and i was at the cover booth. and kaylee's behind the counter. and i got this [ __ ] [ __ ] face. oh my god i'm just [ __ ]. eating it she goes he's my dad i go oh. anyway um. you were [ __ ] on chevy chase oh my. god. why. why would you audibly be like this. [ __ ] loser's eating i didn't say that. i didn't see a loser you're putting. words in my mouth like this [ __ ] face oh.
go [ __ ] face i'm so sorry i said i. apologize right yeah i was cause you. know i was i cuz i showed up and i'm. like he wasn't on the list you know. you know and then he after his set he. didn't even bring me out he just walked. upstairs my point is is that you know i. mean i s you know you should not watch i. should watch my mouth yeah. yeah you really i say things and i. you know. you regret it all the times he but guys. he's a legend it guys do that all the. time though when they come to the store. and they don't know the rules about. bringing up somebody they just walk off.
that happens. i hate it and you and then you gotta go. out there and be like hey hey and it's. so uncomfortable oh no not anymore paul. rodriguez did that paul rodriguez two. weeks ago did it. and he comes up to me and goes hey bro. can i go up before you five minutes i'll. do five minutes i go. okay. right. 22 minutes in yeah he's still on stage. yeah i've seen that and i'm looking at. emily. like you know me. i [ __ ] told you. like a little [ __ ] right yeah right.
and. he just walks off stage he's supposed to. bring me on. right and for a second i'm like i just. run up there i go i no i go i paul comes. to the side i go. get back up there. i yelled at him and said and bring me up. right and he did it but my point is that. normally back when i was younger i would. just do it i would just go up on that. but no more no you're not taking this. fight for my right you goddamn right you. do do your job do your job bud i don't. care who you are you're a legend i get.
it i get it i get it but please do your. job who's allowed to do that to you. just walk off stage martin lawrence does. it yeah i let him do it you let him do. it because he's more i love martin. lawrence do it who else uh but i mean. chappelle or berto they bring you up. they know the rules yeah but they know. the system they know the system yeah but. um yeah martin does it it's done it nine. times to me. but i already know he's gonna do it so. you're prepared so i'm whenever he's. before me he's always before me yeah he. always brings me up yeah i don't know. why they do it like that they'll put you.
know anyway emily told me she likes to. watch you kind of scramble yeah yeah. yeah that's why so whenever he's on. stage like i and when i know he's done. i'm always pacing like all right. how do i do it how do i do it and you're. trying to think of something funny to do. not only that or i always hope. today is the day. but he's going he's gonna yeah i think. today's the day. oh he's putting the mic. he's leaving. he's gone he's gone right he's gone and. then i i run up there and it's oh never.
i was it's never ready it's never good i. always go anyway. outs i'm bobby lee. because you have to say what you want. they go oh right all right right we just. saw a legend yeah we know moving a real. movie bonafide movie star so yeah right. yeah it's really sad it's so sad yeah is. he still is he do he's back doing shows. again here. yeah i mean every once in a while right. he's still cool yeah i haven't seen him. at the store but it's always sometimes. the nights you're not working and then.
they text the group chat they're like oh. my god. i wonder if he's doing that he was doing. that wet [ __ ] joke it's like a 10. minute wet [ __ ] joke. you know can i just say oh have you ever. heard it mm-hmm yeah he's literally 10. minutes on wed [ __ ] i'm not i'm not. exaggerating. when he was in his young when he was. young it was funny it's a little weird. now yeah he's 60 now yeah it means i. love wet [ __ ]. and you're like. and you're like. do you have children. and a family it's it's weird to hear him. say it because he goes on and on it's a.
lot of um. metaphors and analogies about wet [ __ ]. and at first you're like a champion like. the song [ __ ] you're like hell yeah yeah. and then. it's as if [ __ ] was like 40 minutes long. by the end you'd be like this is a lot. of [ __ ] stuff yeah. i support big wet [ __ ] supporter but. also. i don't need so much time about it yeah. it's a lot and he did a bit about. like i like it when they spin on my dick. yeah he does a lot of that stuff yeah. and it's like ah.
yeah man no i love it i love it though. no i love it i like it too when they. spit on your dick yeah. i do i like it don't you like it it's. like a humor they're so degrading. yeah yeah you're ready you're their. [ __ ] yeah yeah yeah and on your little. penis spit on it but okay anyway. but martin he's a good guy no he's a. great imagine great comic okay so tell. me who does who does the worst intros. this isn't you being mean about that. what you just what i loved about what. you did though is you because it's an. uncomfortable question.
and when he asked you the first time he. diverted. a good story. it's a hard question because. all that last night was so crazy and. then i didn't get home so like 2 a.m. you're diverted. have you guys ever been in a situation. where someone passed out during a show. it's so fun she's so good she's so good.
yeah yeah so i've never seen any like. i've heard of stuff like that. but you guys have been around so long. yes so we've been around for a long time. yeah you're a professional dude. juicy i'm telling you right now already. dude already you're already a part of. the family you know that you got a lot. of followers new followers on instagram. right did you yeah it's crazy yeah how. many. thousands at least five like five. thousand yeah and it's still you deserve. more and more more more and more follow. her but.
let's go back to the question go back to. the yeah yeah lawyer please. oh yeah my question uh have you guys. ever seen anything like that when you. were on stage. what see what like while you're on stage. somebody pass out whether it's like it. becomes real and you have to handle it i. saw a guy drunkenly uh fall forward and. smash it his head on a table and split. it wide open. uh i was in. somewhere in the midwest i can't. remember. but i i i you know what's so funny you. know when you watch something i watched.
it happen like i knew it was coming. almost you know when you notice that. you're like watching in slow motion i. watched him kind of stumble and my brain. literally like. pre-set it my brain was like that guy's. gonna fall and hit his [ __ ] head and. sure enough he he like tripped over a. chair and. his head hit right on the corner of the. table. and it [ __ ] my whole show up i was. right in the middle of a good [ __ ]. bit. and so i said don't help that guy let. him [ __ ] bleed out. i have to finish this bit yeah no it was. so [ __ ] up i felt so bad i mean he. split his head [ __ ] wide open on a.
table. i was a doorman at the store once and um. it was new year's eve. oh nye shows yeah. [ __ ] haircut. you're running around like a little. monkey i'm just running around getting. like hats and glitter oh i don't know. what it was [ __ ] hate me running. really quick last year holtzman was on. stage during new year's eve and he. brought in the new year and there are. people in the back that were literally. saying what's going on. what do you mean because they were like. they're like why is he bringing in our.
new year. why is brian what is going on he was. just like you know women's shock. yeah what is going on [ __ ] worthless. pieces of [ __ ] yeah he just yells and. yells i'm running around that's awesome. i'm running around this is 19 probably. 97. right door. hollywood running around when you were. born. yeah and some guy comes up to me goes. before you this bulgarian man knows. wants to talk to you because you. your family members.
passed out i go my family what. what are you talking about he's like. do you know bulgarian guy like i don't. know bulgarian i go and there's a. bulgarian man and i know then i knew who. he was and he's married you at the time. he was married to my cousin jenny. right and this is a real member of your. family my first cousin jenny bulgaria so. my mom the mom that you saw here yeah. right yeah mom her brother's daughter. is married to a bulgarian.
was no longer what happened he died this. is how he died no they divorced oh. anyway here comes a bubbly puppy. i go oh yeah he goes jenny i think she. died. and i look in the hallway. is jennifer. just passed out little vomit out of her. mouth oh my god it was so. embarrassing she didn't die she didn't. die she was just drunk she was just. drunk and i just i didn't even help her. up i just i gotta work. oh my god i just continued to work.
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solid base yeah i love my family andrew. that's the question. i'm going to okay good you love your. family yeah my mom's side is like. my my mom's side is really big like uh i. have cousins and aunts and uncles so my. dad's side is it's like literally just. my dad and my stepmom oh but you know. what. who gives the worst intros at the comedy. store. probably me. you're so sweet how did you get out of. that one a third time. i don't want anybody to feel that okay.
so here's the deal the reason why you. don't answer that question that's really. funny because you you want you don't. want anyone to be mad at you. yeah that's part of it that's part of it. i'm a peacekeeper you're a peacekeeper. and also a lot of the guys are probably. headliners and stuff yeah right and you. and you don't want to burn any bridges. i also. like really can't think of anybody that. i'm like wow that sucked. i bet you can yeah that's not true. and i go up there. i go at first so nobody brings me up so. maybe you guys are thinking about your i.
know what you're doing and i love it. you're crafty and you're survivor right. but let's be honest that is not true. what you just said all right so here's. the deal. you don't have to answer that question. right oh thank god you don't right ron. white's called me andy san clemente like. seven times. i'm not even exaggerating like seven. times yeah i can't think of it the only. andy san clemente. literally. andy san clemente yeah yeah i've. reintroduced myself to him no less than.
five six times. not only that dude you know what he says. to me who are you who are your times. yeah doesn't know who are you well you. know he's sober now he's talked about it. i go you're bringing me up yeah he. doesn't oh. and you said asked me who are you last. week yeah he doesn't know no he doesn't. no i think but he's sober now so i think. he probably is more in tune yeah he got. clean he told me okay. i'll tell you i'm gonna i don't give a. [ __ ] see i love burning bridges um i'm. gonna say something about burning a. bridge that's just the truth he called. me andy san clemente here's a guy. that for the last 30 years.
i've met him i'm not probably over a. hundred times. right he doesn't care. to even memorize my face my name give me. the initials. bibi. brenton biddle calm no and he's been. pulling that [ __ ] oh. yeah. and he's a legend not a legend but you. know who he is. he's black brian botano he's black brian.
babylon uh uh black guy bb bb bb do you. know b bb he's not a regular at the. store. he was on mtv at one point. as of dj vj as a vj yeah. something like that like a black bart. the pirate he's a comic he's a comic oh. okay. um legitimate stand up come on bb bb bb. uh uh can i say his first name yeah.
woman black guy bill burr no. bill bellamy yes yes [ __ ] bill bellamy i. didn't get that right yeah bill bellamy. even today if i was standing in front of. him excuse me i think he would not know. wouldn't know who you are no have you. had a conversation with him yeah. i've tried he just it's not in his. wheelhouse. i'm not in his wheelhouse there are. people like that out there. yeah but there's also a part of it how.
many you how many used does he meet you. have to think about that how many cranes. does he mean no just like you would. think about people in general how many. people are meeting bill bellamy probably. really in a green room at a comedy club. you wouldn't know. i'd probably try my best but i'm sure. there's some comics i'd forget unless. they crushed and then i'd remember them. yeah well that makes me feel bad well. that wasn't a shot at you no i'm just it. does make me feel bad. why because you didn't do good enough. for him to remember i just feel like if. i've been in the business for as long as. i have so long with the amount of things. that i've done so many i don't care if.
regular people i mean there's so many. 99.9 of the people on planet earth. doesn't know who i am right. but as a comic you would think that. eventually you could memorize. somebody you know men's face and name. that's all what do you think juice. yeah i. i like when i go in a green room. i just try to meet everybody if i don't. know them or what do you do if somebody. goes like this we've met before. and i go oh yeah.
that's me. you lie. do you know i genuinely remember. all the good times we had together. let me ask you something see but that's. because your your disposition looks. sweet and happy and you can go oh i'm. sorry but once someone has said to me. like we've met before and they do with a. little bit of attitude it's like what do. you want me to say i'm sorry i guess i'm. sorry that we had yeah people are. complicated man i sometimes i will have. met someone a bunch of times and they'll. be like oh hi i'm so-and-so and then i. just go through the dance again.
oh hi i'm jesse because i you know yeah. i had a guy do this to me what said do. it what he did this thing where he i i. just introduced myself to be polite. because i walked into a room there's. five people in there i know who he is in. fact i knew who he was before i met him. do you know what i'm saying like yeah. his presence is known he's kind of a. popular guy yeah so. i walked in i go hey what's up what's up. guys i go hey what's up andrew just to. remind just in case yeah i was doing it. in case he didn't remember yeah he goes.
i know dude we've met like five [ __ ]. times yeah but with real attitude and i. was like. i'm sorry i thought maybe what if you. didn't remember me bill maher. what you're bill maher no i did it to. bill maher bill maher was standing in. the comedy store once i walked in and go. hey i'm bobby i'm he's i. know sorry sorry i just i'm sorry i. didn't know that you would even because. bill belmay doesn't know who i am. you just assumed all bills don't know. who you are yeah yeah i just had another. bill that didn't know me yeah that's all. you know i mean i thought you had an.
issue with pills but my point is is that. except but he did that he goes yeah i. know we met i know we were in hawaii. yeah you know i mean and i did this film. festival hawaii with freddie soto years. ago and i met him briefly and he. remembered that's pretty powerful that's. pretty cool but my point is is i didn't. know that he i would thought there's no. way he'll remember so i'll just open. with him bobby i'm a comic i'm a big fan. that's the move i think that's all i. think that's the move and then they can. just go if they do. i think the move is in and if you do. remember someone you just go yeah no. great great to see you again that's and.
just let it go yeah don't have to make a. [ __ ] you do have a big thing with. bills though i do have yeah you bill. clinton that whole thing with him that. beef that you had with bill clinton oh. yeah that's insane you know you're i. love the you know i said to him like. you're great at the trumpet he goes sax. yeah zack he was so pissed off i played. the sax. yeah my bad. yeah yeah i played the sags yeah but the. reason why i um. because the generations even like. rest in p is richard jenny.
right but i don't know who that is. you don't know richard jenner you used. to be like. considered one of the best joke guys. she's a great joke writer coach a great. joker writer but i remember i was a kid. and johnny sanchez and i saw richard. jenny and johnny said she was a huge. richard jenny fan. and johnny just goes high five richard. jenny right and richardson just walked. past us. and that johnny johnny was left with his. hand out like this. and i could see i could see johnny's. face just. like almost falling right because it was.
like he was a. huge fan of richard jennings oh rich and. he stood there for like i don't know 20. seconds like this i think he was trying. to milk the laugh. because he knew i was there but he was. still embarrassed. right so but i just oh we'll always. remember this well. yeah i mean johnny also saw a ghost. who's dead and who's alive you know what. i mean that's a rich cats. well he didn't he killed himself i know. i know which is sad you gotta high five. somebody dude what if you. [Laughter].
what what what did you say. somebody had to high five you and you. what if that was a thought i said fight. johnny sanchez why didn't i [ __ ] die. it's awful that's awful terrible that's. awful that's good yeah that's terrible. so you're not gonna name any names no. she won't i almost didn't recognize. somebody who at the store i was working. a lot and someone pulled in and they. weren't on the lineups it was faison. love oh faison yeah and i've seen him in. movies but i didn't recognize him and i. was asking him if he's on a show and he.
was he was [ __ ] with me and he's like. no and i and then i said well this is. for paid regulars he goes how do you. know i'm not a paid regular oh and then. oh no and then i thought he was just a. customer trying to park there and he was. like. ian edwards was standing there he goes. i'm ian edwards and then they all start. cracking up and then because he's got. his friend in the car too and i'm like i. know ian edwards and and then uh he just. opens the door and gets out. like a big [ __ ] you to you yeah yeah i. was like in my feelings about it and. then i realized who it was and i felt.
like an [ __ ] and i messaged him the. next day like apologizing you messaged. him what via instagram and i was like i. just felt really bad and then um. he said you don't have to apologize. what's your cash app and he sent me 150. for parking in the lot because he was. like i didn't see you when i left and i. have to tip faison love is the. [ __ ] man yeah he's awesome the. [ __ ]. man and the next time he pulled up in. the lot we had like a laugh about it but. i yeah it's when you're on the other. side of it.
and you don't recognize somebody. so it's so funny because i don't know. how to handle those situations like. that's funny i just shut down like i did. i went to the comedy cellar and i. [ __ ] walked down the stairs and the. guy goes he he he like slapped his hand. on my chest and he goes back the [ __ ] up. because he was talking to two other. customers and i was like oh i'm just. gonna go downstairs he goes you ain't. going [ __ ] nowhere and he's not. really looking at me he's like looking. down at my body you know what i mean. like he's looking at me kind of but. peripherally and he goes you ain't going. [ __ ] nowhere and i was like oh all. right.
and like a [ __ ] i got on my phone and i. stood there and then he looked up at me. he goes yo. oh [ __ ] and then he felt bad yeah he was. like yo that was i'm so sorry i didn't. even yeah and i was like that's okay i. had to call someone. i shut down so fast yeah yeah i didn't i. i don't know how to i was like because i. don't ever want to be like i'm on the. i'm one of the things yeah yeah i don't. want to do that that's what i go to it's. embarrassing i don't do it any. i know because i don't want that to.
happen. i feel like no one knows who i am so i. don't want to just show up at the seller. and then have this happen no they all. know who you are yeah but i don't know. that you can't assume that they do i. know i'm saying but you yes they know. who you are you yes it's kind of nice. too though like you guys probably missed. this or you don't even remember but it's. kind of nice. nobody knowing who you are when you go. to a show yeah because you go in and. they're like uh do you have a ticket. and then i'm like oh i'm on the show and. they're like oh what's your name and. then they'll check me off and then i'll. go and you know do good go crush and.
then they're then they all and they gain. their respect. i like being like an underdog and kind. of being invisible and then just shining. it never goes away trust me okay good. i'll give you a better example. now that i play like small theaters not. all the time but like clubs we'll all. know who you are because they're like. they do meetings and the staff they're. like here's who's coming this weekend. blah blah blah so they all kind of know. who's coming even if they don't know you. as a comic are like he's the [ __ ]. redheaded guy you'll see him when he.
comes here. small theaters they don't give a [ __ ]. [ __ ] about that you don't mean [ __ ] all. weave multiple times me and o'connor. have walked to the back of the theater. and a guy who's working like one of the. crew. will be smoking and we'd have a notice. in pittsburgh and i was like uh uh can. we is this the artist entrance and he. was like yeah. and i was like oh uh we're the. we're the guys. and he's like who you who's your contact. and i'm debating on if i could get in.
with one of the stagehands all right and. a piece of me was like let's just go. back to the hotel yeah. i i like i didn't want he cause he his. attitude they don't give a [ __ ] about. you you don't mean [ __ ] they don't know. who the [ __ ] you are i played the. chicago theater it was 3 700 seats. half of the back staff doesn't know who. you are theater people are like that. they don't give a [ __ ] about you you. don't mean [ __ ] so that doesn't go away. people not knowing you that doesn't. [ __ ] a whole room is there for you. and there's a bunch of people that are. like who the [ __ ] is this [ __ ] piece. of [ __ ] yeah. and then you'd be like can we can we get. some waters downstairs and they're like.
the waters are out back you're like. we'll go get. yeah yeah yeah it's it never changes. yeah that's it's nice it's humbling. because it's like. you're not getting hand and footed even. at those big venues they don't you mean. dog [ __ ] to them you're just another. idiot that's gonna come in do the show. and then they're like you guys got to. get the [ __ ] out well part of me was. kind of hoping that part would change it. does not okay. but it's also i want to just amongst. your peers the reality you know because. i i'll run into like a kid from high. school that i went to high school with. i'll be like oh your my life must be.
completely changed or this and that and. it's like. honestly dude i feel the same as you do. because. at the end of the day. five times during the day well someone. will it's never like even a big deal. they're like. nosotros papaya. we'll yell out of the car and you're. like oh cool right but normally you're. still waiting in line no one knows what. the [ __ ] you are you know i mean yeah. you're just. living a life like everyone else's every. once well if you're at a club or you'll. get a perk and if you're like at the ace.
theater saturday when we do the tiger. belly show obviously there you feel. special because everyone knows who you. are because they're all congregated into. one area right at your show so that's. why comics do shows because all your. fans are in one area you get to feel. good but when you're out in the real. world you're just you know me at the dmv. just waiting in line. yeah you're going to be just another. five hours i mean. like everyone else do you get recognized. ready. not a lot just sometimes and i don't. like it because i don't know what to do. wait why don't you like it i don't know.
what to do they say i love you i i like. you and then i don't know what to say. next do you ever say i love you i like. you back no. let's let's let's replay it love is a. big hey hey hey are you rudy jules oh my. god that's [ __ ] rude. we love you we like you we love you so. much we like you i like you. and we love you we love you hi. what the [ __ ] what the [ __ ] [ __ ] that's. what i do. all right we love you we love you will. you take a photo with us. sure oh [ __ ] you must be rich on that.
show will you cash out boss i don't have. money. i have to go but it was nice meeting you. wait wait don't go anywhere. don't don't. my buddy wants to sing you a song he's. also on the same flight so they haven't. called our yeah we're all flying. together. uh i have to go to the bathroom i really. need to poop let us come with you yeah. girls go together yeah she'll come with. you yeah yeah. she can come with me okay we'll just. wait outside. okay okay okay bye bye bye guys i'll get. the picture okay thank you. that's how you walk. what are you feeling inside.
i want to die i want to die. really interesting so you want no one to. recognize you ever again no yeah well. you came on the show you wanted to be on. the show so. that's your fault. oh yeah at the tiger belly show there. were like two girls and one of them was. like hey can i get a photo and i was. like sure and then her friend took the. photo and then she was like do you want. the photo and the friend was like. okay george and his story is wrong. he wanted to add in let's just let's. just analyze what he just said here.
you know pissed off george the most. about that. that pissed me off yeah go ahead. that pissed me off yeah it did i know it. did it's like you know we're holding. court telling stories right. and you know the whole time he was. thinking. i think i got a story. hey i just wanted an excuse to get this. camera on so that i get a little more. screen time a little more famous with. andres not here i think i have a chance. to shine so that that irked him so much. after the tiger belly show fancy walked. outside there is a there was a cheering. of fancy fancy fancy.
dude it was huge it must be easier to. cheer than pink dick like it's it's just. but it's much easier nobody cheered for. george george literally came out no one. said anything fancy fat they don't know. why you do [ __ ] like this. i'm going to tell you something this is. what he does what's so gross. we're at the ace theater audi you know. the door is open right uh seven right. yeah and so you know the the lobbies. flooded with tiger belly fans or.
whatever merch line whatever right. this [ __ ] face goes out there and just. kind of walks around oh yes he wants to. see [ __ ] he's like i just wanted to see. what the merch was what the bridge was i. just wanted to see what the merch was. you know i was for. [ __ ] compliments yeah you're fishing. a little [ __ ] dude you're fishing and. it took a long time to get them you know. i was walking i was like they wouldn't. even let me to the front of the merch. line they were like no no not you get to. the back get to the back what. compliments did you get. um hey great job being in the background.
yeah that's his name. most of the time. he. what he gets the thrill because when. they look at him it registers yeah that. oh that's that's the guy that's the guy. and that's what he gets off on right. right finally you have respect sick. twisted [ __ ] [ __ ] twist [ __ ]. [ __ ]. look at him. gross rudy i hope you get recognized. more and more and by the way to the fans. out there good story though when you see. rudy when you see rudy in the major. metropolitan area of los angeles please.
go up to her please take a photo she. loves hugs. she loves that stuff you love and she. wants to engage she doesn't want to just. say hi she wants to talk to you she. doesn't know what's going on. yeah you did yeah yeah you just just. wave then go away. no no too informal you you want. something more proper you want i i think. you should really let people open up to. you if you're going through a divorce or. or if your kids just went off to college. why don't you. [ __ ] tell her about it right i think. you should open up let people open up to. you rudy.
okay okay yeah thank you well when you. back went back to the philippines. did you hang out with your old friends. yeah. did anybody in the philippines know. about the show yeah some some of them. are like really like fans of the podcast. and they like listen and the philippines. wait your friends yeah and they listen. yeah and you keep asking like when's the. next podcast i want to listen i'm. excited do you feel good. be honest a little bit yeah especially. like when the. the. the other girl.
so there's this other girl can i explain. all right there's another girl. so she lives from the philippines right. there's a girl that wants to be a social. influencer or. what's that called influencer influencer. right. and she's trying to get you know i mean. she wants to be famous famous in this. but it's i love it when somebody doesn't. want to rudy rudy right and she just. falls into it. and wins the lottery yeah right and she. and if even if we told her you're no. longer on the poc she wouldn't care yeah. it doesn't matter she would move on with. her life yeah doesn't want to be here. now yeah.
that's true he doesn't want to be this. is the one you. yeah but my point is is that so that. must feel good a little bit yeah yeah oh. the other girl though is she or. competition like do you guys have beef. no we're friends did you hang out with. her yeah uh one time because she has to. do like other influencer stuff what are. the influencer stuff what does that even. even yeah. like they have a meeting and then they. like like promote stuff and then like. they go and like take photo shoots and. did they add bite you to any of it no.
but you're what you're. who has more followers on instagram me. oh and they didn't collaborate with you. at all no no they had this opportunity. they don't know me how many followers. did she have you were hanging out with. them you were at the meeting right how. many followers did you have i think she. has like 20. yeah you have over a. hundred thousand followers. yeah. that's got to feel good yeah yeah how. many followers do you have on instagram. 18 now 18 000. when before the podcast i. bet there's more getting that than.
crazy that's going to get weird we got. to get you to 50 man wow at least right. rudy. i kind of want to look up the other girl. even though. just because i want to see how many she. had yeah yeah i got recognized at the. store last night during work from bad. friends really monday's episode. what did they say. i i was doing the whole like two drink. there's a two drink minimum i'm showing. them to their seats then they go wait. excuse me. you just aren't bad friends and i go. yeah and they're like you were awesome. we loved you on there and it was really.
flattering and nice and then i had to go. oh thank you anyway there's no cell. phone used. photos or videos that face on love story. made me cry i saw you get emotional. yeah i shot it because i've cause he's. from san diego. and i've known him for a very very long. time and i just know his heart he gave. you 150 dollars yeah he's a good guy. that's a big factor we should have on. this love to have him on we should have. faith on love on that love to have him. yeah he's the best that's that was a. very sweet story yeah he's the man i.
yeah i was really embarrassed it's. embarrassing and you shouldn't be by the. way but i know but i learned you know. you learn so much at the store like it's. a school and i felt like i should have. just kept things light-hearted but so. many people park in that lot it gets you. on edge because. so is everybody parked in a lot where. they are paid regular but no like they. don't get spots and they act they give. you attitude. no not really attitude most people who. are parking there like if like if uh. someone comes for fallouts.
they'll be like hey is it okay if i left. like they make real good sure that. they're oh so she's not gonna tell you i. know we're not we keep fishing i know. people come in that uh are customers or. they're like on a development show one. guy i'll tell you a story okay. this is what we want yeah yeah so there. was a show and in the belly room and it. was an. independent show so it's not paid. regulars yeah and they're allowed one. car per show well someone rolled in on a. motorcycle. and.
they had the one car. and so at first i told him you can't. park here but since it was the bike and. he was saying you know it's small i. can't i just put it up here i said okay. yeah you can that seems reasonable it's. just a motorcycle yeah yeah and he was. you know at first he was kind of upset. he was like you know i've parked here. before blah blah blah don't give. attitude yeah you got a lot of attitude. and i ended up saying yeah it's fine. just park up there yeah so he parked the. bike and then came up and then went to. his friend and you know you guys he's. talking to his friend where you guys are. and i'm sitting i'm standing right here. in the lot and he starts speaking in.
spanish and he then points to me and. says puta. it was like i don't speak spanish but i. know what that i know [ __ ] yeah. i need to know who the [ __ ] who the [ __ ]. is this [ __ ]. hey hey hey.
yeah but i was like why was this a guy i. want to even know you know so that's a. great mindset why the [ __ ] is lying. because he's playing political [ __ ]. no she's no i really don't no no she. doesn't know who he is he's probably. yeah i don't know his name i really. don't know his name but i told him he's. on a book show that she has no. experience so let's investigate it he. has a bike i'm going to figure it out. off the air we're going to figure it out. no i'm going to figure it out now so. yeah yeah i'm going to figure it out. he's on a [ __ ] bike didn't tip me. either right he didn't tip right yeah he. was on it hilarious friends and family.
or some sort of night show belly room a. belly room yeah what show was it. it was uh well see that's why because it. was like but it was it was the spanish. show which was cool so i don't want to. dog on the show yeah so wait what night. is that you could also one-off that's. what you do you call francisco ramos. yeah yeah and that was real yeah i love. francisco so i don't know who rides a. motorcycle i don't listen listen i don't. know who right there. yeah yeah yeah yeah. you know all right but everybody said. that guy's cool he shouldn't have talked.
to you like that that's right so maybe. he was just having a bad day but and may. there was a small chance he wasn't. calling that to me but the timing of it. was like he seems a little like i just. want to have a message i want to have a. message right now and this person's. watching right now. right i'm telling you right now they're. not. they're not i don't want to make enemies. with this guy on the motorcycle yeah you. never know what he could do yeah so. we're not going to say his name ever. right i'm not even going to push it i. won't know his name but listen here. chunky i live here. okay.
if you ever do that again. we have a very big problem very big. problem and if you have a war with her. you have a war with us you got a war. with us right and you may think who. gives a [ __ ] this and that you know it's. funny. how can i say something i'll tell you. what's funny can i tell you what's funny. it's funny what's funny is when we did. the live here right yeah our buddy. bart's doing it right love him bar bart. and i talked to barney i was like one. that we made we met in 1998. he said 23. years ago yeah yeah whatever right and i. and i a lot of my relationships right go.
way back they're deep deep historical. relationships and i've done a lot of. favors and i have a lot of really. positive relationships with people and. it's just a phone call motorcycle man. motorcycle man what it literally is just. a phone call you know i wasn't uh. done um. hey dave becky or whatever you know i'm. not throwing names out there but you did. anybody i just did yeah.
you know what i mean but anyway one of. the biggest managers in the world. yeah the motorcycle man is a piece of. [ __ ] any anybody's picking up your right. a you know any comedy club and let's. just a stroop from. columbus yup i i could go to specific. markets oh right we could hurt you. regionally regionally you want you want. me to go regional. ohio right ohio alone yo strew this guy. piece of [ __ ]. nope over over hey um um go ahead batch. cough basketball you know right.
he owns all of the improvs in florida. this guy yeah. what if you found out he was like one of. these really good friends you've known. for like 25 years it could be yeah it. can't be no there's no way because any. of my a true friend would not call. anyone a puta yeah right just for but. how funny would it also be because i. thought about this too if he was like he. had a really bad day and he was talking. about someone at the grocery store and i. would just stand here right there yeah. that could be that could be let's put an.
asterisk at the bottom yeah yeah yeah. yeah. we're not saying his name and that's. what i'm just saying if you did say it. about her yeah yeah that there are. relationships that you know i mean that. you're going to if you were saying it. about someone at the grocery store carry. on carry on that's fine yeah you're. allowed to be we're giving you a pass on. this you're getting a pass you know. people right too right. yeah you know some people dude you know. yeah i guess i know who you know and. that was the same night faison came in. and there were like other customers. trying to park on the ramp so that whole. night was just like it was a night. nobody's [ __ ] with me tonight.
see what you started motorcycle man. oh god you're gonna get me [ __ ] riled. up here baby motorcycle man is just. found himself in a bad place right yeah. and you know what. for the future. uh if anybody does go into the comedy. store a lot and you decide that you're. gonna be a mini weenie. and you enter the [ __ ] gates of hell. with juicy yeah you gotta answer the bad. friends family i'm call rudy is she. gonna slash their time yeah she will.
this crazy [ __ ] we should put her in. the parking lot with a knife and just. stab people's tires yeah she'll do it. you will won't you i'll do it yeah she. doesn't give a [ __ ] i also want to. encourage you right so sh you did the. korean soap opera sketch we did at the. la you'd like that right it was so good. yeah is it available for people to see. no we're gonna because we're gonna use. it for the other lives it's so good. you're so good but you're acting in it. was really good can we support you in. that. why don't you why don't you wanna do. stuff like that because. i don't know it's embarrassing why is it.
embarrassing i don't know because people. are gonna watch it yeah were you. embarrassed that night when they played. it in front of 600 people yeah. no i saw your smile at. i saw your smile she was texting. backstage the referee jersey backstage. smiling yeah you were smiling and you. were having a great time yeah you were. and you were wallowing in it. i guess yeah yeah you were like negative. you were oh you were sorry. you were wallowing you were swallowing. you were swallowing you swallowed all of.
that yeah all that happened is you. swallowed it you put it right in your. mouth you loved it right yeah and. honestly it made you look good in front. of your boyfriend. no i made him not watch it what. he saw you on stage did he not yeah he. saw the cheers. yeah. that's so cool that he gives you the. advantage. it gives you the power dynamics. you got to make sure you get a prenup. because you're powerful yeah yeah you're. the you're the reason you can't boss you. around no and i hugged him that night by. whisper stuff in his ears.
you know that right yeah yeah i should. watch it. i think we should continue to act in. fact what we should do because juice. wants to act too we should do a [ __ ]. we should do a bad friends uh. acting uh. show debut show yeah we should debut an. acting show we should do a real drama a. drama. drama you're good at drama yeah yeah. well but it will be funny though right. like will be dramatic. yes. no. i mean i kind of want to do a drama all.
right how about this. if you're good at drama. i want you to break up with bobby right. now like it's a real drama scene like. you found out okay what was really going. on and you're breaking up with bobby you. found out that he doesn't doesn't love. you and he told everybody in your. friendship circle oh so so we were. dating how long were we dating you guys. are dating for 30 years for 40 years 30. years. how no you dated for four years four. years i was at my bed and you found out. from your group of friends that he's. been saying how bad he wants out and he. just can't do it anymore he also might.
be in love with someone else. can i be a different guy though no it's. you all right but can i have a different. voice you can do anything you want a. baby that's great okay. hey juicy what's up. bobby we need to talk. yeah. what are we doing now baby what's up. we're talking now right baby i mean who. are you looking at i'm not here oh yeah. you're the director. i know but you don't want to direct her. in the middle of a shoot when i act. cameras are uh let's look at the. directors.
don't look at the [ __ ] director. see i actually get director and although. i got a piece although this guy now he's. got a plan see but juice is already. prepared you see how deep she's already. yeah i'm in it hey hey any notes from me. director yeah stop [ __ ] looking at it. oh my god my bad. where's my mark right here yeah you're. on it you don't have to move anywhere. you're sitting down i'm sorry my bad all. right ready all right and action. bobby we need we need to talk okay baby. what's up juicy. what are we doing now. stop [ __ ] looking at the director.
i can't look at your scene no this is my. first job okay it's all right it's fine. so what you're saying not to look at you. never yeah never after i say action only. how do you expect me to work with this i. understand and i'm so. sorry miss juicy all right don't look at. me i won't even look at you at all. where's the camera at right there no i'm. not going to tell you where the [ __ ]. camera is because then you need to look. at the camera oh oh that's the camera. right there i'll just look in the camera. no no no. only at home. and action. bobby we we need to talk age you see.
what's uh that's what i thought we're. doing right now yeah but it's serious i. i went through your cell phone yeah hey. [ __ ] i told you not is that the right. line line. hey [ __ ] i told you not to go through. my [ __ ] okay hey [ __ ] i told you not to. go through my [ __ ] yeah well it's too. late for that. i saw i saw all those pictures. i saw those fingers in your [ __ ]. do you want to tell me who's. whose fingers those were.
oh. did my fingers baby what's up. no you both your hands were also in the. picture you were doing this. oh that's right [ __ ] you caught me my. bad. i was doing like this because i was. doing a home alone i was doing a home. alone [ __ ] thing right yeah like oops. which i thought was our thing that was. our thing my bad you know who that was. no that's what i was telling you it was. my mom.
all right we got. we got bigger broncos no because i have. bumpies down there. yeah my mom you know my mom's a doctor. right. you never told me your mom was a doctor. she's not. what's up. what's the line. what are you trying to break up or. something what was what. what does my mom do. oh. oh you're my oh because your mom says. you got to break up with this white.
[ __ ] oh yeah so my mom my mom said i. gotta break up with this white [ __ ]. you know what yeah it's the first thing. your mom's ever said that i agree with. cry. so it's over so it's over. say goodbye to these. pretty good really good really good. really really really good what about. mine huh not really good not good not.
good yeah i think i've made the wrong. choice. when you. when you were my age and you were pooing. does your [ __ ] like bleed a lot. yes okay. just let that sink out. all right now i want to answer this. without being funny. yeah.
just let it. yeah just let let the moment my my. [ __ ] has been bleeding a lot we get. we get what you said and i haven't done. anything. and you haven't done anal no right yeah. doctor. yeah doctor. okay yeah. let me ask you are you are you pushing. no i don't even wait until like it just. drops you wait till it comes out yeah. you eating those baby birds yeah the.
balloon the blue. no. okay um. so you probably have hemorrhoids. no. it's just bleeding your ass is just. bleeding yeah like right now is it maybe. blood. maybe wow. are you being real. no honestly yeah i mean let me let's. basically is it like rudy's dying is it. like the shining where like you poo and. then it's like the elevator blood blood. poop let's see what what does it mean. when you're just bl i it's usually. hemorrhoids.
i don't wanna you haven't gone to a. doctor no yeah well my next question is. how come yeah. yeah we're doctors. why don't you go. i'm just tired yeah that makes a lot of. sense. rectal bleeding is a symptom of. conditions like hemorrhoids i said it. fissures inflammatory bowel disease you. could have ibd ulcers and core and uh. well the last one's cancer but you may. notice rectal bleeding on toilet paper. in the water the toilet or in your stool. is it everywhere all three of those the. trifecta no just a um paper paper just.
on the toilet paper yeah yeah maybe we. do a bad friend's trip to the doctor i. think i'd like to be cool and yeah you. should do that make it a real event are. you wiping too hard no okay. i'm not a doctor that's probably the. dumb question no that's not a dumb. question you can wipe too hard and cause. it to tear you can oh yeah you can dry. it out okay tear it up okay we got to. get this taken care of man yeah we got. to fix this i thought you were kidding. around you're not kidding around no i. keep telling you oh [ __ ] man it's my. fault yeah you're a bad dad i'm a bad.
dad no we got to get this [ __ ] taken. care of i thought you're saying as a. joke like my i have or we just. thought you had maybe you know a little. bit of diarrhea once in a while which is. normal yeah you're having it all the. time yeah. yeah you have ibd there you are. constipation. yeah one of the other right they kind of. go hand in hand yeah they're cousins all. right well we got to take you to a. doctor yeah yes we have to [ __ ] go to. a doctor but we we also can do it use it. in the show so we'll do it you're right. juicy yeah we're going to go we'll take. a bad friends trip to the doctor yeah.
you'll feel better if they go with you. yeah but. the camera shouldn't be on my ass no. [ __ ] no. it would help this yeah it'd be good for. the show yeah we could animate it but. juicy will be in there with you so it'll. be a woman in there with you that'll. make you feel safe i'll be holding the. camera she'll be holding the camera. thank you for being a bad let's let. juice do it yeah yeah. go ahead jews can we do it together yeah. do it together okay okay this one yeah. thank you for being a best friend.
timing was bad let's do it again one two. three thank you for being a bad friend. love it. [Music]. do a woody allen no i wasn't that's why. i stopped because i couldn't do one. first of all. there it is yeah. i don't know i just my back would he. would it it's me. [Laughter]. sonya can you um. come with your bed.
you're gonna. that's a really good woody allen. [Music].
