Rudy & The Goop | Ep 206 | Bad Friends

hey hey bad friends we're on the last. leg of our tour The Greatest Show on. Earth Sacramento Long Beach are totally. sold out then we go to Windsor onario. Canada Niagara Falls Niagara sold out. Windsor it's right there about to sell. out as well so if you live in Windsor. come see us come to Tucson Arizona in. Tucson and the final one Las Vegas. Nevada Las Vegas that's about to sell. out as well uh so come out and see us at. badp pod.com badf friends pod.com and. also bad news good news uh good news. good news good news good news is.

good news is this we did a competition. that's right about what air comp a. t-shirt competition I knew I was going. to win I always win and I won yeah by. how much a thousand or so yeah way more. than you so now what I get is a naked. massage where you're going to massage. naked yeah you get you get a regular. massage no we said naked we said naked. we did say naked you regular massage no. naked if you want to see me um pay the. piper and do my due diligence uh go to. patreon.com friends to see the massage.

patreon.com you're going to get what you. want okay Pig you two are bad friends. who are these two idiots a white dude. and an Asian dude you two are. disgusting you two are something we're. bad friends goop dog goopy gos goop dog. hello do a song for goop goop goop. goop goop goop.

drip drip drip drip wiggle wiggle drip. drip drip drip dri it's the goo I I. can't be ladies and gentlemen the goop. dog is back in the studio you put the. mic to your mouth gos this is a mic yeah. M I thought I was wearing the mic no no. no still near your mouth dude okay. everything's fine yeah yeah you seem. more panicky today yeah because I. realized I can't be the goop anymore. what do you mean why I can't be the goop. you don't like the nickname I love the. nickname but gwenneth palro is a goop. and I'm scared of gwenth P no no two.

they're two different cops yeah quinneth. palro has her line of cherry choo choo. candles I I. know I can't be the goop I don't wanty. buddy buddy relax you're the goop her is. called goop you're the goop Andrew we. should give him the opportunity to make. up his own nickname [ __ ] let's just try. let's see what he comes up with f goop. what would you like to be called I like. the goop cuz I didn't have to think of. it yeah I know so can we stay with the. goop or yeah yeah I I do have a nickname. but it's it's already taken in the.

comedy community what is it called I. don't want to be it though okay yeah can. I say something yeah this eyebrows. thicker this time yeah you grew one out. yeah it's a little finger. congratulations thank you it's un evened. out balance no it's uneven it's a little. it's still uneven it's still uneven but. what's the nickname in the comedy. community that you're given oh I wasn't. given in the comedy community but I. can't have my out of the comedy. community nickname because it's it's. Coco and there's already a Coco Coco. Diaz Joey cooko Diaz yeah yeah but he.

moved to Jersey so you're you know what. I mean you're you're good yeah can you. do an impression of Joey Diaz he's. Italian. right he is Italian so hey hey that's. all I have it's gritty let him do. it Go gritty no uh imagine this you. smoke a carton of cigarettes in one hour. okay and then all of a sudden the spirit. of JFK went to your throat oh wow RFK.

RFK my bad Robert Downey Jr no I'm. dyslexic but RFK who that is he talks. like this like this he's married to. Cheryl Hines but go deeper isn't he. trying to be [ __ ] president this guy. yeah yeah I'm doing a benefit show I'm. doing a benefit show for. himid oh I can't kid around anymore I'm. doing a benefit let's move on I know. wait let's bring up the lineup of who's. on the benefit show for for RFK I are. you. goop.

yeah is it Rudy Rudy that's the goop dog. right there I thought he'd be Asian you. thought he'd be Asian he did seem Asian. yeah shout out to uh the benefit for RFK. Cheryl Hines Tim Dylan Rob Schneider. Bobby Lee uh Dustin yabara yeah and Mike. binder yeah Mike binder I gotta say. something about this lineup. Allstar [ __ ] this is star studded [ __ ]. you dude this is star studded that's. Chelsea Handler it's not Chelsea Handler.

it's ch Budd can I just say may may I. defend myself real quick why I'm just. teasing no no you can tease all you want. all right that's why why I'm here yeah. all right but may I defend myself a. little bit okay. okay our wait. RFK Cheryl Hines they call me together. hey Di will you mind doing a benefit for. yeah yeah we'll talk to Cheryl is it is. that a disability we shouldn't be making. fun of no it's just I don't know what is.

is he dying from that no if he's if he's. dying from it I can't make fun of it if. he's not dying from It Anyway Cheryl. gets on the phone and she can you do us. a favor and please do this better I. can't say no to her you could spasmodic. dysphoria around 1996 One symptom with a. rare neurological disorder is a raspy. voice no cure could patients can undergo. surgery it's not going to kill him fine. not k f we that's his red hair we can. make fun of that's his red hair yeah. yeah you know what I mean yeah he's fine.

that's his Korean. eyes no I love my Korean eyes and if you. have Korean eyes out there I don't if. you have Korean eyes out there be proud. sleepy little boy you know who called me. today your mom oh why I swear to God. your mom called me I'll even prove it to. you no I believe you she rung me up. what' she say just wanted to [ __ ]. link that's weird you know what she said. to me what uh Andrew uh you my sneaky. link she called me sneaky link yeah you. know what a sneaky link is you that I'm. a side piece no that's not what it means.

sneaky link no sneaky link she called me. that no you're a problem solver sne. sneaky link is a slang term their first. to a secret or discreet meeting between. two people who are romantically. interested in each other she called me. she called me sneaky. link no or she said get a drinky drink I. couldn't really make out but I think she. called me a sneaky link I swear oh. that's what she said okay welcome also. to the show the goop is this back and. also our beloved Rudy jwes Rudy jws Rudy. Jews looking nice in her Teddy fresh.

what do you think of the goop so far I. like his energy it's like calming and. chill what color is his energy yeah um. orange for some reason what color did. you want to say pink you're red I'm red. he's Orange what's Bob yellow that's not. you can't that's so racist you're right. you know what your energy is [ __ ] brown. poop no poop purple oh I had explosive. diarrhea before coming here so. anden did you really have an upset.

stomach yeah what's been going on what. did you eat I ordered coffee but I. forgot to order almond milk I got whole. milk oh you're lactose like I am yeah. yeah how are you got how is everybody. lactose now it's like a thing that's. going around what do you mean I feel. like a lot of people are lactose. intolerant now did you put on perfume. this morning yeah you smell it yeah I. can smell from here what is that it's. ti2 Bob's perfume I asked wait wait you. ask where you take you I asked for it on.

my birthday what was it the Rouge bux oh. that that one yeah what is it I don't. know rou bakaman yeah rou bakaman rou. bakaman and you you took the notebook. too no I forgot to get it all right yeah. anyway goop how's the response been. since the last time you were on our show. oh my God uh I 800,000 people saw that. episode I don't even know 800,000 people. like it's no overwhelming no one does do.

you think we know all of them yeah yeah. you guys are 800,000 people saw it but. even more people heard it whoa A lot of. people listen to it yeah it's I've I. haven't gotten that much love in I. didn't know there was that that much. love in the world for me it it it was. incredible you deserve it don't you feel. good it what are you going to do with. your new found Fame. uh I I I bought tickets to adult final. performance guy June 15th you did that's.

her final performance in Las Vegas I'm. not going to Germany right wait she huh. she lives in Germany no she announced a. Germany residence oh oh okay she's going. to spend a whole like a a year doing. shows just for Germans huh yeah which. sounds kind of who's opening. Kanye you like that. joke like those jokes dude I got the. Goof and then you bought Esther. something no yeah we're going to see. Madonna you got you got her the tickets.

yeah what what second row I heard no. it's it's it's a perfect view because. it's from she has many stages so we're. we're going to be after all the stages. in in the first row so she has like four. stages I don't she has many four stages. and you're in first row in all the. stages no no no no no um we're we're in. a comfortable distance from you know. there's there's two catwalks and then. another catwalk in the middle and then. there's like a little break I want to. make sure she could see so there's a. little break in the middle and and then.

there's me and Esther and Emily and. who's Emily from The Comedy story book R. Emily em oh wow wow I have a feeling. when this song comes up you're going to. get up and you're going to jiggle your. little body there's no madon song that. will make me dle my body like a virgin. no the I think my favorite song would be. probably Frozen or I like Miley's cover. of uh Like a Prayer oh just like a. prayer yeah is like the prayer like you. kneel down to suck the dick yeah and yes.

that's what it's about I know is it. really yes it's about giving head like a. prayer is about giving head that's why. people were mad about it oh and in a. music videoos with like a black Jesus. right remember that people got really. mad about that that's before your time. but in the music video people were upset. she's like she's like kneeling in front. of a black Jesus it's about and I I say. black Jesus I should just say Jesus cuz. that's what color he. was that's hot yeah and she was sucking. him well he was [ __ ] what's on his.

face it's like he's crying that's tears. oh okay it looks like goop yeah it looks. like goop that's you're there but he's. half wooden he's like wooden turns into. like goop nut on his face no it's goop. nut no goop. nut goop dog what do you think about. Rudy have you you do you know about Rudy. on this show I thought she was going to. walk in and then she was going to be. like stop being a little [ __ ] but like. she hasn't done that yeah do you have. any advice to to give to goop Rudy um. not really he seems so cute cute I just. want to like squish him squish him go.

ahead and squish him squish meow yeah. you're allowed to squish him yeah it's. in his contract that he's allowed to get. squished well yeah it is dude you signed. it uh uh Paulie squished me and he also. said that he watched the episode and it. said it was like watching an episode of. Love on the Spectrum and then I watch. Love on the Spectrum and he's not. wrong let me say something you got to be. careful with that guy why with Paulie. yeah why just be careful dude oh you're. saying right yeah you got to be careful.

you in particular to be careful and when. I yeah you'll get scratches hey. scratches you like scratches I got blue. blue what BL balls scratch no no have. you ever had blue balls scop no but I. will call 911 I know that you know. you're not supposed to they're not. supposed to be blue they're not you're. not supposed to they don't physically. turn. blue then why do they call that they. don't turn eyes blue what are you. talking about it just means when you. have like backup of seing in and you. like you get close to ejaculating then.

you don't and the buildup causes pain. and discomfort yeah they call it blue. balls have you had that have you ever. had pain and discomfort in your nut sack. I have pain and discomfort everywhere. like sometimes yeah like uh and you know. you blue shoulders then I just like I. have pain in my chest and I have a. tingly feeling in my arm called a stroke. this one and the left one is a stroke. yeah I just ignore it yeah yeah no we. got to go to the hospital dude it has to. be three days in a row. oh you Googled it what [ __ ] no it.

doesn't one in a row. is if you feel something T if your chest. feels heavy and your arm goes numb. you're having a heart attack I thought. it meant you're in love yeah it can that. tingly feeling in your chest and then. you know you're going to be yeah well. you're going to be in love with the. afterlife if you. can um goop do goop dog you do you. really get tingles in your arms yeah but. they blame anxiety with now you're. either you're either having an anxiety. attack or a heart attack and there's.

really no difference there's a huge. difference really a massive massive one. is one is is from the uh from the skull. and the other one is your heart stopping. so totally different things one of them. is your brain Going H I'm afraid of the. world and the other one is your heart. being. like no they send the same signals they. do feel the same no they don't I've had. panic attacks they don't feel like a. heart attack no no and I hope you not. have you had a heart attack before no. but my dad actually had a heart attack.

and also I forgot to say he has up the. butt cancer so he he had many things. that he died from not just. Co and uh heart heart condition slow. down let's start let's let we we'll. we'll approach up the butt cancer in a. second why do you say up you just mean. does he did he have rectal cancer I. think prostate oh yeah there's a lot of. them that's up the butt if you ask. me yeah have you ever felt your prostate. CPE no but I know that there say that. you know you have have to do it but I'm. only 27 so maybe when I turn 37 have you.

ever put anything in your butt at all. no no okay obviously look at me right. now. okay look at me right now dude okay I'm. not judging okay I love you I love you. too and I love you to be honest with me. okay we're we're friends okay and I'm. going to ask you a direct question okay. okay and I would love you to be. completely honest with me okay. have you ever had.

anything up your butt. no dude did I pass I think he passes. dude put put both of your arms up in the. air I can't I have jigglies no put put. them both like this okay all right ready. yeah look will you look at me again. hello have you ever had anything up your. butt no okay that's. great no no yeah you're not supposed to. do this have you ever touched your own. butt when you like your butthole like.

for fun for. fun the hello from the other side yeah I. do like Adele but hello from the other. I'm scared of my own body why are you. scared of your own body I'm not like. other people he is a hello from the. other side yeah that's Adele Adele sex. is like anal sex hello from the other. side that's what the song was about I. bet that or bad reception. but or ghosting I don't know it's her. weakest song actually I can't believe.

it's a hit you don't like hello from the. other side no no well let's pull up the. lyrics to hello from the other side and. I want to see what your biggest beef is. with and listen up Adele CU she's a big. fan of the show hello it's me right I. hello how wondering if after all was. that Carlos like to meet to. go say the time suppos to you but I. ain't done much healing hello you sing. the next L the fact that you don't like. this song it boggles my mind it's such a.

beautiful you get the next line go ahead. hello can you hear me that one yeah. buddy can you hear me no no no s hello. you know the how can you hear me I'm in. California all right right don't let him. do it so know go ahead and go we Rec. recording I'm going to lip synk no no. hello. hello come on goop hello oh no see if I. could sing I would I would be.

singing do you want to get a stab Jules. okay let's go yeah yeah she can do it. hello can you hear me I'm in California. Dreaming about who we used to be see she. gave it a shot she gave it a shot people. it looks sounds nothing like an people. in their cars people in their cars were. turning turning down yeah. yeah just give it a second give it a sec. let it's hard you got it okay just. repeat after me then yeah hello.

hello can you hear me can you hear. me I'm in California Dreaming I'm in. California Dreaming about who we used to. be about who we used to be this Bobby's. version when we were younger when we. were younger and free it sounds like a. country and free I forgotten how it felt. I forgot how before the world fell at.

our feet before Oh that's a pretty. song so you like it now no okay look she. had an incredible record and for this to. be the first single off her new record. you know it was a bit of a let down. because like all her single from the. previous album was better than this you. know but I like the second single off. this album Judy you can't even sing it. and you're judgy oh I bet I can't. hello no no more. saying. part that part is yeah do you know what.

a couch quarterback is have you ever. heard that phrase if it's anything like. this it's probably not very comfortable. a couch quarterback is someone who at. their house criticizes like NFL players. if they could do it and they're so like. indignant about it so you criticized. Adell putting out that single but you. can't sing I can't sing I really can't. sing so you got to give it props it's a. great [ __ ] song it's good song okay. and it's a banger single why not it's a. good intro so you think if you managed. Adele's career you would have put out a.

different single from that album I think. after being gone for that long maybe. that was a good choice but it's not her. best song H it's a reintroduction yeah. it is a reintroduction yeah okay you. guys win thank you okay thank you so. much thank you um I'd like to give you a. gift Mone give him a gift cuz I feel. like it's a Midway point right now of. his comfortability on the show we're. almost comfortable oh my God got you. some chippies bud whoa thank you I just. had a big dinner yesterday I had the. lace barbecue which is a classic but. maybe I could you know you don't to hold. it like a baby it's I like to hold.

burritos and babies like like yeah well. I would trust you more with a bag of. Doritos than a baby for that looks like. you care more about that yeah that's. also these aren't Doritos you don't like. this this is just restaurant style. tortilla chip it's a good starter chip. it's start it's a startup chip do you. want a baby uh look at me right now do. you want a baby babe I love babies but I. hate children exactly yeah so so you. could you could steal a baby raise it.

and then when it becomes a kid give it. away again that's true I mean I really. do want to pet I'm Shia I'm your wife I. like that that's a pretty name that. let's let's do a scene okay all. right and I'm your bigoted neighbor yeah. oh Greg hi. shashia look what I got I don't see it. that that's not impro oh wait stop let's. let's let's teach him wait let's teach.

him the rules of improv that was improv. he didn't see what you had you had to. explain it no but he's supposed to add. information and tell me what it is no. but he just said I don't see it he can't. hold the baby like this okay it's not a. baby okay I'm giv you the ultrasound oh. oh. [ __ ] okay Greg hello sh good morning. good morning. sh look what I got. whoa where do you get that from well I. went to the I was feeling a little.

nauseated and I went to the doctor and. and and my doctor thought that maybe I. was pregnant and I got an ultra sound. and here we go whoa we're having a baby. no way I was going to say we should have. a dog but I guess we're having an. Armenian baby and it's furry and it's. cute so it's like The Best of Both. Worlds um are you having a baby or are. we having a baby no I mean you came. inside me remember. okay what do you mean okay you were. there but that doesn't answer the.

question you're going to have it going. to have missionary you remember in the. missionary the military remember you. were looking at me right yeah just say. what you were said you said I'm about to. come I'm about to goop yeah and then. right and then right inside me okay and. that's what look. whoa is it a girl baby or a boy baby. it's a. girl okay okay this sex scene between. you guys is just like the one in forest.

scump with him and Jenny they have sex. in forest scump in my mind that's the. exact that is the exact same yeah yeah. yeah like how many pumps you think two. not even he stuck it in came s yeah slip. because he had weighed his all his life. whole life yeah man game 2024 is here in. full swing and that means it's time for. a New Year's resolution check-in with. our friend at manscape. news flash Bob it's never too late to.

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shipping with the code bad friends. manscape.com Embrace a new you and. definitely Embrace a new trimmer. courtesy of manscaped this episode is. sponsored by Blue let's talk about sex I. love sex do you want to bring the heat. in the bedroom that's what I do know you. can increase your performance and get. that extra confidence in bed listen up. bloo.com and I'm going to say something. right now to to Andrew tell it you don't. even have to take it when you're having. sex with anybody you could have you. could do it alone if you'd like I do it. alone do you yeah and I I I do 4our.

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okay never woe it that should feel nice. you don't have anymore this yeah I drove. by Forest Lawn on my way here and I. thought of Carlos why why cuz I passed. by all my family members yeah oh they're. all at Forest La yeah how many do you. think uh I think uh there's four buried. together and then two buried together. and then two buried somewhere else and. then I might be missing a few what with. the two that's buried somewhere else on. Forest Lawn how come they get and not. closer to the we have Prime real estate.

at Forest. Salon for your family I'm sure yeah we. have some great spots not my family are. you Forest Lawn Burbank or Forest laon. Glendale the one that's on the way here. do you bring. flowers I actually don't visit people. because it's kind of like what's the. point but if I do go I would but I'm not. going to go you've never been I've I go. visit from the funeral every time. someone dies we kind of see the other. people but like oh so it's like a and I.

don't drive I can't eight for one yeah. do you cry at funerals be honest at. funerals it depends Rudy when's the last. time you cried yeah I think last week. but also I don't cry a lot so I forced. myself to cry what did you cry about. last week last week. uh it was like a cuz I tried to force. myself to cry so I read like negative. comments what on the internet how about. you that's how I cry why do you do that.

yeah don't look at negative comments. because then I can't cry you don't need. to cry does it hurt your feelings when. you read a negative comments sometimes. yeah what's the meanest thing that. you've read it's mostly just oh. she's. no they said I look like a giant. blueberry and that's cute yeah that is. true though yeah bring up the picture I. bring up the picture of Violet from.

willly W yeah that's what I pictured. funny somebody's got a painting of your. face with that fun fun can a great. artist please paint the goop as that's. our shirt Violet that's our goop shirt. yeah you're turning goop goop wait goop. how old are you no I'm 27 he said that. he said he's been 27 for over a decade. oh he you don't know he looks like 20. whoa who what the [ __ ] he does no he. does not yeah when he does not oh I feel. like uh yeah connection yeah.

because go ahead I wasn't special at. classes that's why that's why yeah but. there was this one special day where. they were enrolling people in honors. programs yeah and I asked my teacher if. I could be in honors programs so she. wrote a recommendation and they sent me. to honors classes and they send me back. the same day back to special ed but in. community in in in public schools you. have the choice of choosing. can I sometime you would be so hard to.

teach yeah I'm a good listen I would get. nothing done I teaching him I would just. want I would give up first day as a I. would want to just chat with them yeah. yeah like I couldn't be I I so did. somebody said you have to go to Special. Ed I wasn't special ed why I have a. learning disability which is what I have. I think it was a mixture of I just can't. learn yeah but. [Laughter]. you're. it's hard but you're int you can't learn.

anything you're intelligent though yeah. I can tell that you're intelligent so. it's weird so what do you mean you just. didn't absorb school [ __ ] yeah there was. too much going on do you independently. learn stuff on your own are you a reader. yeah I like I guess I got right here. check this out here we go I I think. you're undermining yourself and I think. that you have information common. knowledge that we all know and I'm going. to ask you some questions and this is. going to prove a point yeah okay okay to. your best of the your ability you know I. mean why did we attack Japan with the.

two bombs Nagasaki and Hiroshima what. led up to that those were the bombs. names no those were the two those are. the two guys two guys the two cities. that we bombed Hiroshima and Nagasaki it. sounds like it's like the Olympic. celebration uh when they h i what led up. to that though here we go come on come. on goop I don't have Japan knowledge I. don't even know a Japanese star um I.

don't know uh I think he's right yeah he. could be right give me another. historical common knowledge everyone. would know I think that one was pretty. easy let's see what Rudy says yeah yeah. yeah yeah go ahead Pearl Harbor PE exct. PE har you know what Pearl Harbor was. yeah that movie right with Matt came. yeah and it's private Ryan's or. something fictional movie har no no no. that was about Matt Damon that war was. started over mat. yeah yeah what this the Civil War by the.

way two gos two goop Chuckles for me I. got two two uh goop dog the Civil War. yeah was between The Who and the who the. what and the what the indan and the. Cowboys proba you better believe it you. better believe it the Indians and the. cowboy you see the Indians and the. cowboy yeah and it's being civil whose. team would you have been on I would have. to be the Cowboys because I can't pull. off skirts and uh feathers and like. slits I can't show wouldn't look good I. have my mother's legs but still yeah. yeah yeah yeah I mean you would look.

good with those two like little gun. holsters yeah you would look good with. that and with the bullets over your I'm. wearing jeans you know yeah that's what. they all wore yeah Rudy I want to know. for a second um about how life is going. because uh we're getting a little. worried about you well my Visa expires I. know I know what's going on so I have to. go. back [ __ ] when uh June how can we help. this we got to we got to help this how. do we do can we write a letter to. somebody no I can just renew it it's.

just a but you have to go home before. you renew it yeah you can't do it here. no right so what if you go home and they. don't let you back I know that's why I'm. scared cuz they can do that they can. deny it I'll be so we have to do. something I know I'll do whatever it. takes well I mean number one she's a. she's a public figure a personality on. our show what if they hate my yeah they. could no no they could yeah yeah they. could and I keep saying I hate white. people yeah yeah. what your your your your Visa end date.

is in June you have to go home you have. to schedule an appointment there and. then they may or may not let you back. yeah cuz I heard from um my cousin cuz. he had a tourist visa when he was young. and it expired and then he went to an. interview and he didn't they denied it. this is different though you you you you. you're going to college a student visa. yeah that's different than a I know but. the student visas run out when you're. out of school ask this guy but you're. still in school right how many more. years I have one more year so they can't.

deny me though no no they they actually. can they definitely can what well. because you're you're only allowed a. Visa for their you don't they don't give. a [ __ ] if you finish school or not. they're just saying you have to finish. it in this amount of time we've given. you then you have to reapply so she's. got to I mean we might not let you back. in or you can get married your boy he. can come through dude yeah but he he's. scared of his mom cuz his mom's really. religious so what they don't want she. doesn't want you wouldn't they want you. to get married then if they're very.

relig no cuz she thinks we're still. young so you are you are you are but. you're Filipino he's Filipino yeah but. you got that in common would this be. somebody you'd marry for real in the. future yeah wow wow holy [ __ ] how how. long so if he asked you to marry you. right now you'd say yes not right now no. if he said will you marry me but down. the road and give you like a what is it. a promise. ring that's scary but yeah wow she would. do it it's incredible congratulations. yeah you love have you ever been in love.

before. this no no have you ever been to love. goop no well yeah but not real people. yeah what have you been in love what do. you mean not real people ottoman or. something imaginary love Yeah Shakira. Shakira imaginary thing you've been in. love with people that don't know you're. in love with them yeah yeah it's kind of. like a stalker like unrequited love no. it was young love you know what's young. love that they don't know about no no no. no Young Love Is when two people are. very young and oh they get infatuated. with one another it's a that is a phrase.

that's a that's a you were just young. when you fell in love with yeah yeah. it's like the guy from Florida the bork. killer yeah the guy that yeah bork's. dead no he's not dead but there was a. guy who was so obsessed with Bor it was. a real thing he had you can still see. his YouTube videos yeah he went to. Wicked like 24 times or so. no yeah and he um that you know back. then he there was no like internet I. guess so he went to Ricardo Lopez yeah. Ricardo Lopez this guy so this guy so.

scary I know so he went to a [ __ ] I'm. Not Gon to say it but that doesn't what. is he that doesn't not look like goop no. no that doesn't look like you it doesn't. look like it no so he so look this is. how scary this so check this out he goes. to a [ __ ] you know a bookstore and he. goes to like the magazine section and he. sees that bork is in a photo with a. black guy yeah right wait wait who's Bor. bork you don't know who bork is see the.

girl right there touching her mouth she. was a singer she she is a singer she. Whispers she's very talented oh yeah so. Bor took a photo with a black guy so. then this Mexican guy from Florida the. guy to the right cuz that's the scarest. thing seen of my [ __ ] life right he. goes ah no you're you know and he says. the n-word a couple of times and it's. like you're you're going to die so you. know what he did this is unbelievable. this story so he decides to create a. book. book okay so he was going to go I'm. going to pretend I'm like some sort of.

like um literary company and I'm going. to propose bork with an idea of like a. popup book an interactive book where you. can press buttons and stuff that's right. and in one of the buttons a needle comes. out with. HIV what this this was his plan that was. his plan oh plan okay yeah but he didn't. figure out how to get I don't know how. you get HIV you know what I mean I think. that was a problem I think they sell it. at Ralph no yeah yeah yeah yeah but like. that and then he he killed himself.

yeah you can tell right there yeah no. but he he was a lunatic lunatic who who. put this on he put this on video which. was the craziest part his YouTube videos. are still his monologues it's still. online and we I will not support that. don't no we're not going to watch it but. if you're at home yeah you can watch it. you can watch it at home yeah yeah yeah. but it this was like this was a big big. deal it was like a big turning point cuz. it's not like we had weird stalkers do. crazy [ __ ] in the past yeah you we have.

but this was something different there. was like a Breaking Point do you. remember how it was like such a creepy. creepy and scary scary yeah for the. first time it was scary instead of just. gross but there imagine you're living. your life you're singing you're doing. shows. meanwhile you know I mean my ja my [ __ ]. I'm sorry you're my ja he bro [ __ ] I'm. going to there it is yeah yeah get some. AIDS over here you know mix it with this.

put a button in has a grocery store. checklist he's like book yeah AIDS got. it needle got it yeah yeah yeah is that. scary that like there are things going. on in the world but you don't. stock no do you know where your where. like these people live that's their. business but I know when they're on tour. and she's not you know where Miley Cyrus. lives well yeah I lived close by you. know where she lives. specifically not.

anymore but goof but you did goof what. don't don't don't no no you don't I. don't know don't implicate yourself and. if you did you would forget you wouldn't. do anything no no have you ever made fan. art and delivered it to someone. personally I promise you that's exactly. what well okay yeah actually that's what. we did but it was funny you know like. you delivered to their home yeah well my.

my brother kept bringing home people and. I'm like what am I supposed to talk. about with these people I was much. younger so I brought out my crayons and. my construction paper and we all made. cards for Miley Cyrus and and one of. them was ESL so he wrote I love you. Montana so you know we had a few drinks. and then we dropped off the cards and. how old were you you had drinks in your. coloring on oh it was I was underage. drinking at yeah but how old are you. probably 20 20 and you went to her house. no it soundsound well it was fun it was.

like a little prank thing yeah you think. she was pranked yeah she got three cards. yeah I imagine yeah she was like ah call. the cops no he's like you got me you. drew a broccoli from my leg that's funny. that's funny also funny drawings I know. I know it was innocent we're just. kidding I come from a good place yeah a. really good place so when you do get. deported Rudy do you. think do you think you'll miss us I.

think I'll miss you guys I don't want to. be deported I don't want it either but. can I be honest with you you think I'm. going to get deported yes but can I be. honest with you are you going to go. quietly no no put up a fight yeah good. rip everything I I um don't don't say it. out loud cuz it's going to happen I'm. going to tell you how I feel [ __ ] face. oh okay okay you came with junior year. in high school yeah you lived in my. house mhm and I saw you go through it.

the trials and tribulations of Life yeah. and I honestly I know I sometimes I go. Dad's here when I call yeah I know. you're not I'm not your dad you know but. but it feels like it there there there's. parts of me that do feel like it that I. did something to help you I helped a lot. yeah and. um you'll never be able to repay me but. um I mean there's no way you don't know. that maybe she she's on to something but. it breaks if you were not let back in it.

would break my [ __ ] heart and that's. why we have as as a bad friends company. seven Eis whoever needs to get involved. we have to get write letters to the. government I don't want I know please I. don't want to it's not for us oh we'll. make them do it yeah yes we will have. someone at the company write letters to. the government yeah it'll it'll would. honestly your honest opinion you know no. no I want I want to hear it out of your. mouth look at her in the look her in the. eyes and tell you how you feel about her.

how about this yeah how about this do. you know that I would do it for you I. think so yeah do what anything whatever. she wants anything she asked me I would. do it she knows that when I call her. sometimes and she goes Tito Andrew it's. always a question mark me too cuz she's. always nervous why are you calling yeah. cuz I should be texting so you have his. number saved MH uhhuh and he greets me. happy birthday Merry Christmas I do and. when I call you and we talk talk you. know that if you could you ask me for. anything would I give it to you or get.

it for you I think so yeah I would same. here I know I'm just you wanted me to. [ __ ] speak my piece I told you I no. I'm just there's no one in this studio. that I wouldn't do everything for other. than mcon yeah me too other than m i. fired you yesterday dude what are you. still doing here people do hate that. your head is behind their heads I have. heard this that people go what is that. [ __ ] guy's head lingering behind the. heads yeah Carlos or fancy keeps him. close and Carlos by the way we we should. give a little bit of credit if we're. going to bounce around the bad family.

room uh is sober now for over a month. over a month very good you look better. thank you yeah yeah you know what it is. honestly Beyond look better I can tell. that you're functioning at a higher. level now I can feel you feel better. about stuff when we text at night and. stuff I can feel you're more like uh uh. what's the word you're just more like. involved and aware I also texted you. what did I text you give me cigarettes. no no today not today not. today not today not today you sent last.

week what' I say you're doing great but. we're proud of you thank you man we're. proud of all of our bad friends and we. mean that and we don't want you to get. deported and we want you to stay around. the goop for a long time we're proud of. all them and fancy we'll talk about it. later yeah Morgan andg is 2024 now so. let's talk about something very. important if you get injured by a person. place or thing you deserve to get paid. that's right life can be crazy sometimes. and one person's negligence can result.

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checkout or use code bad friends at the. checkout to get 22% off for one to two. displates 33% off for three plus. displates so go to display.com badri. that's display.com. badri March 1st and 2nd I'm in Phoenix. I'm probably not going to be able to do. that one what's going on in Phoenix I'm. doing standup live with who I'm just. going to headline so you're going out to. do weekends again just one I'm not J I'm. just interested is this because we're. prepping for something no I just can I.

be honest with you well that's what. we're here for. okay it wasn't even me wanting to do it. well then you could say no no but I know. but it's like you know who I'm talking. about don't say her name yeah right she. was insisting that you do it yeah and. I'm. like okay I did it for her I get it okay. uh that being said I will announce that. I'm putting together 10 Club dates to. cuz I'm ready working on my hour good so. I'm going to be going out where do you.

want to go I've already got it we. already have them I'm not locked into. the all of them you're doing clubs I'm. doing clubs I'm doing clubs Friday two. Friday two Saturday shows to work out my. hour what I'm doing got a good amount of. time that's great but are you going to. film. it don't be that guy what's that guy. arrogant what you just said was arrogant. no I just said are you GNA film it. didn't you I have you know I don't have. the technology or the equipment to do. that all right so don't be that guy. right you don't have to recording shut. the [ __ ] up what you can just have. someone record you see what you're doing. here I'm asking you a simple question.

are you going to be filming an hour at. the end of this run I'm doing one. weekend I thought you were going to. start doing shows on your own yeah I got. one weekend yeah you've won in the books. now that's it show run a short. run that is equivalent to the amount of. running you would actually. do a little quick jaunt you know the. honest truth is I prefer staying in town. I like doing his shows. I like being around my friends I like. being in town I like is goop also a.

comedian he used to be he was and he and. he's going to get back into it at any. moment we can feel it because get you. got to get ready for Long Beach I can't. I I will die I I barely made it to here. buddy no you have to do it you're going. up on stage at Long Beach no it's not. even that big of a deal it's like 5,000. people it's it's like a baby less than. 800,000 you're doing it too you know. that right huh oh yeah yeah you're. coming out you're coming out I can't do. that one please you yeah you do I can't. I can't why why why can't you do it cuz.

I'm why can't you do it cuz I'm one of. these away from a heart attack no you're. not you're [ __ ] doing it stop living. in fear bad friends has no room for fear. it's it's next week it's next week there. have plenty of time plent I I literally. almost died today and I'm going to die. tomorrow too you're not going to die I'm. going to die I promise you don't have a. choice to literally anyone I need more. time I need time don't never call us. again I need time can I share a video. too yeah please this is something I want. you to be a text to me Rudy Rudy texted. to Carlos this is something I want your.

judgment on Bobby because you're. somebody that is into fighting you love. professional fight I love fighting and I. want you to take a look at this uh this. fight here and tell me if this was a. fair fight yeah so far pretty. good pretty good fight pretty good fight. so far and it and it's mostly and it's. mostly kicks which is strange no one's. thrown a punch well not one punch has. been thrown no shoulder shot you can do. a shoulder shot yeah no arm barring. going on here yeah wow no no takedowns I. think takedowns that' have to pause it.

yeah if you're just listening we're. watching a video two men fight without. any arms uh in the cage and it's it is. pretty remarkable it's remarkable and. pretty good kicks going in no head kicks. though yeah now do you think you need an. arm to get all the way up to and wait. look who won look at this ready and and. the winner. is get your arms up. there yeah you know what I like to see. you know what I like to see the twole. guy fight you know what I mean a two arm. guy I would rather see a I would rather. see a fight with two guys without legs.

would be way Doper to me but can you. yeah that'd be cool just two guys just. big arms no legs yeah going at it yeah. stump. town what's this video that you sent. what is this let's see what this is yeah. Bobby you're in the Australian news we. made the Australian news oh wow no I'm. in it you sent this I sent it no let's. see let's see it Bobby Le who gets an. instant reality checked when he claims. that Korea didn't oppress people or have.

slavery but can I but some societies. like Koreans they might have a God. complex but they don't have a history of. Oppression oppressing another group of. people each other right are you out of. your mind what the you don't think. Asians had they didn't oppress Koreans. Koreans didn't have slaves we didn't fly. did Koreans have slaves yeah Google that. yeah cuz I think that's wrong doc laugh. somebody built them pyramids it wasn't. just somebody like pyramids Korea had. the longest unbroken CH Korea had the.

longest unbroken chain of slavery of any. society in history spanning 1500 years. off that's not what it says Zoom it in. my eyes are blurry go I want to read it. all right read it out loud. you get close all right Korea had the. longest unbroken chain of slavery of any. society in history. [Laughter].

holy you guys are. scumbags I just love that he's not a. lefty by the way I'm not sure where he. is on the political Spectrum but that. was hilarious Nat to Lefty losing it in. Lefty heart this is weird is this this. this is Sky News yeah it's not like Fox. it's like Sky News but she's doing. lefties she probably a lefty commentator. a righty righty com commentator she must. be but Sky News I thought was one of. these kind of apolitical news thing. right we made it under the news in.

Australia I know incredible [ __ ] rad. yeah wait till we go down there and play. those shows maybe we'll make the news. again mate yeah and you made her laugh. look at you she was laughing she was. laughing at you guess what yeah I make a. lot of people laugh that's right goop. that's right goop we make a lot of. people laugh what's this Rudy want and. guess what next week in Long Peach make. a lot of people people laugh that's. whether you like it or not that's way. too s oh God Rudy what is this is this a. real ballute is this ballute oh my God.

oh my my God God I'm actually going to. throw up because I can smell it from. here yeah yeah. yeah what is it playing with a br it's. brother is that another one in there oh. my God that's so you'll just eat that. yeah oh I'm going to throw up turn it. off yeah yeah but I've been craving that. yeah I you know what that's why we'll. Deport youed you're getting deported. yeah yeah yeah that's. wait can I share also my other yeah. craving it's like this dried fish but.

how they do it is they ferment it as. long as possible until you get worms out. of. it till it gets infected yeah well they. say once you have the worms it's like it. takes out all the bacteria it's maggots. yeah. maggots and then you take out all the. maggots and then you eat it and you put. tomato sauce and everything you need. sauce yeah you definitely need a tomato. sauce this is it Lau la la no no no it's.

called Uh tinal yeah but you have to. spell. that t t i n a b a l. tabal but it smells like. [ __ ] like bad [ __ ] okay all right okay. but it's wa wait wait zoom on zoom. in those those aren't worms on top of. that's probably some no they take it out. they take it out so this is post maggot. removal uhhuh yeah yeah wow it looks.

okay no it does not yeah no it does not. it doesn't it's good okay that's what. I've been craving too so you really miss. that and Ballo a lot mhm well when you. get back there are those your first two. meals yeah yeah that's so funny that's. like I go back to Chicago and I just. want an Italian beef and she goes back. she gets maggot fish bro bro that. Italian beef remember you gave me that. the best dude you changed D you know can. I say something yeah you've changed my. life in so many different ways you.

changed my life in so many ways no but. in terms of like Foods same I'll tell. you what that Italian beef give you. another one give me another one that. you've inspired me well you tell me I. don't know the eggs with the [ __ ]. baked beans oh my God hello I know. goodbye hello and come on back yeah I'm. all around I love it I love it too you. and me we've introduced me to to do new. dishes in Korean barbecue that I've. never had before and you've introduced. me to music Warren zon. yeah yeah hello hello goodbye goodbye. ain't coming back come no not coming.

back yeah yeah coming back what else. dude you've given me you we've. influenced each other in a wonderful. beautiful I love you so much man you're. my best friend I really do love you so. much I love you more than I love anybody. and um and I mean and I mean that and. I'm saying that doing the podcast with. Adam get. [ __ ] I knew this was leading up I'm not. I knew it was baiting I'm not I'm not no. but you do you really have you know you. changed my life who's changed your life. uh goop someone not not Miley Cyrus but. of like somebody in your life I think he. was going to say myy I know he was so is. there anybody in your life where you go.

wow that guy really if I didn't meet. that guy in the right time that guy or. girl change my life change your life I. like my brother okay y did your brother. change your life yeah what has he done. for you that really stuck stood out uh. he pushed me to go into improv and learn. how to play nice um uh with white people. and then that was the first step and. then I I took you got to play nice with. the white people yeah yeah that's where. I learned yes and actually I failed. improv they made me take it again I took. 101 twice look at what I got here.

Ambiance what what is this that's a b. that's a MRI it's ultrasound ultrasound. yeah well The Improv paid off yeah for. sure. M but but no that was very nice goop you. say whites as if you don't appear to be. a little white yeah you look white goop. what. thank you I well I'm it's not a. compliment yeah but I'll take anything.

as a compliment. okay it's funny you that day that you. did the podcast you also sent me a photo. did you not. yeah is that the goop dog that's the. goop okay so by this photo we can tell. you're you're not 27 how that van is. from the [ __ ] late 80s early 90s Yep. this is really good zoom in on the. license plate I want to see the. registration year oh you know what that. is what does it say I know what that. says 84.

84 so you were born in in what is it 78. or 79 how old is he here he's probably. how old are you here probably. two he's about six years old there no I. I'm I'm practically standing five five. five look him five he's three or four. three or four yeah give or take so um 8. you 1980 you were born what a cute baby. man. congratulations still a cute guy GRE but. now we found out you're born in 1980 is.

that I'm trying to figure out if you. guys think I'm younger or older than I. am I don't I'm still doing the math. you're 43 yeah you're 4 no I'm like God. no no no no no no I'm getting the [ __ ]. end of the stick it's so funny I want to. show I want you to watch this so this is. a guy named Charleston white who is. maybe one of the. most prolific uh comedic internet. personalities I think I've ever seen in. my life and the guy in L of course is is. Cam Newton who's a football player let's. hear what he's got to say simp I have a. list of names describe each person using.

the first word that comes to mind Will. Smith. gay Jada Pig. Smith [ __ ] up. [ __ ] how would you approach a woman. like. Britney. oh you got to handle a rough oh you got. to be you got to be a dominant dominant. man to deal deal with Britney Britney Ry. when you say Ru you're not talking about. domestic violence R yeah.

[Laughter]. yeah take me down so what do you think. about Charleston's answers there is. every relation needs someone one of the. two people need to get their ass whooped. is this cat Williams's nephew no this is. Charleston white baby he is his own. entity do you think in a relationship. there needs to be one person needs to. get they ass whooped how do you feel how. do you feel. goop no no no not in a relationship.

that's willing if you guys are in it. will you ever hit as a kid uh I'll. answer that. please goo were you struck as a child. did your did your dad hit. you to be continued which is the camera. there all there's a cameras okay oh you. were that to be no no no no no no no. that's actually that's a bad place to be. continued no never were hit not NE no no.

I mean like they weren't like you know. abusive at all but they yeah no uh I had. a different growing up situation because. you know anytime they were sick of one. of the kids you know like like I. mentioned before like I had like three. ants and a grandmother living in one. four apartments and then the house in. the back so they could just you know. anytime they're sick you they just. pushed you another apartment yeah they. they play a game it's it's called Uh it.

translates Ro Loosely they the the. mother or whoever's sick of you will. send you to someone else's house and. they ask do you have it it's called D. brma yeah which means hold this child. and do not let him go and that's how. they would get little breaks from us oh. so then they would just pretend to look. for things and then just keep us. occupied but they wouldn't hit us I want. to play D brma. would you love to play Duke. brma like if you had a baby with your. wife you could Duke brma and me I you.

you are the baby to. you you send them over to Bobby and you. think I would give you the baby to watch. for a while just because no I just I. thought I get to your house no okay no. no no I'm not we're not going to play. then this Duke it's a fun game this is. emotional sabotage yeah yeah it's. terrible Duke bma's bad it's bad that's. what I meant sounds like a torture. technique no you just basically look at. cabinets forever and wait for for them. to find an imaginary thing and then when.

enough times has passed then they grab. any random thing in the house say oh I. found it and then they send you back off. to your parents did you have an. imaginary friend I did was the imagin. out of spite we talked about that right. didn't we did we talk about that Shakira. oh no no she's not imaginary yeah yeah. yeah she's real yeah no I did have an. imaginary friend and I think that it was. it basically had a span for one day. because my parents had enough because I. cried because they sat on her and they. said this is too much but I think your. parents sat on your imaginary friend.

yeah and I just made a whole big. thing that's abuse that's that's your. parents are pretty abusive at times. emotionally emotionally that's abuse. what did your imaginary friend look like. it was a girl I I was mad that day I. think I made her on purpose yeah yeah. human though yeah yeah I didn't know any. other kinds yeah yeah yeah no but he. means like what did she look like yeah. do she have like a little horn I mean as. an imaginary friend you he can pretty. much we only spent a day together I wish. I yeah you don't remember her that well.

yeah not that good of a friend then huh. not a not a great friend yeah yeah. imaginary acquaintance yeah yeah okay. where was your favorite hiding spot when. you were a kid I would hide well I would. hide because I would have to poo but I. didn't want to poo so I would hide. behind a tree and then just like poo. there yeah okay that's where we went to. the bathroom that's not I guess I I. guess I regret really a hiding spot. that's my hiding spot that's where you. pooed you don't you don't hide where you. poo that's what they kept saying to me.

that's the old friend don't [ __ ] where. you sleep but you hide where you poo. I I think that's a great hiding spot. Rudy can I open my present yeah wait. wait wait wait who gave you a present. the goop the goop brought fancy a. present but not the two guys that put. you on the show well technically I book. him you speaking of the mic first of all. technically I book him technically you. you arrange his arrival right we made. the choice to put him on the show sure.

so that gift is ours whatever it is we. you know what now we get an extra 100 oh. okay on your. sh uh happy to discuss yes no no no no. that is actually it that's it no that's. more of what is it what's the gift that. you were given oh my. God I did it it's OJ's book. that's very sweet right professions of a. killer. yeah we know no yeah that was from what.

he said at the end of the last podcast. what did he say well because we blamed. him for killing his whole family but you. really didn't kill your family no no no. okay no you don't have a violent streak. in you do you no no have you ever killed. anything not even a not a bug spider. well I see I I won't kill it but I I. kind of if I there is a bug that I don't. want there then like what happens I have. to tell someone else to do it Dy say. come kill this please but you live alone.

so who's going to come kill it now well. my dad used to live up there so now I. have no idea I'm going have to be a Bo. maybe ghost I hope so oh your dad's. ghost you believe in ghost you believe. in ghosts right I try not to I think I. have enough to believe in honestly okay. yeah I would I would watch a show called. goop's ghost where he's a ghost hunter. oh my god' be amazing you'd have to. quietly eat chips while you're hunting. though you don't want to scare the. ghosts oh they'll find me for sure put. the chips down maybe okay no no no no I.

it's been an hour of it yeah it's an. hour of you holding that yet so goop you. know what you're in for you're coming to. Long Beach and you're doing the show no. yeah go ahead and tell everyone thanks. for being a bad friend thank you for. being a bad friend not. [Music]. smile you're the one that's getting. naked that's you're getting naked too. that's what oh my God you are both no. you're getting naked no it said you too. what are you talking about D you're. naked no you're naked too. dude it says both we [ __ ] made a teal.

dude roll. [Music]. the.