Rudy Shoots Her Shot with Marcello Hernandez | Ep 304 | Bad Friends

You two are bad friends. >> Who are these two idiots? >> A white dude and an Asian dude. You two. are disgusting. >> Oh, you two or something. >> We're bad friends. >> What are you doing here? >> I'm back, baby. [laughter]. >> Richie. >> Richie, you're back. I mean, I see I. have eyeballs. I see you. You know what. I mean? But why are you back? >> Cover in front. >> I don't even know if I like it. >> No. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> You know what? We should get a We should. get an email to say who's coming.

>> We should. >> because when I walked in here, I kind of. had like a little bit of a traumatic, you know, response thing. >> It's triggering. >> Yeah. >> I thought we had a positive. relationship. >> No, because one time did we talk about. when I was on stage and then you were on. the. >> Oh, no. We didn't. But. >> I'm in the main room. I. >> You're in the main room and what. happened? >> And then I I'm doing okay. I look to my. right. There's Richie in the front row. >> Why are you sitting in the front row? >> Well, I Well, I didn't mean to. I got. tickets cuz my friend was in town and. he's a huge comedy fan. So I was like, "Oh, cool. Let's go to the store.". >> He wasn't laughing. He just had a.

permanent smile. This is what he was. doing. >> Yeah. Freaky. >> Freaky, dude. Freaking me out, dude. >> Well, I was nervous. >> YOU'RE A FREAK. >> NO, [laughter]. >> you are. >> You're a freak, dude. >> Yeah. I saw Mighty Supreme. >> I heard it's good. >> It's great. >> Yeah. >> It's like five movies in one. >> Are you being positive or ne negative? >> Positive. It's a lot of It's a long It's. a lot of stories in one. We discussed. this the other day. It's a lot. It's. awesome, but it's like a lot of film. You could have made. >> People get annoyed by this. You could. have made a great um limited run series.

TV show out of it. Oh, I see. >> Because there's so many sub stories. going on, like so many different stories. >> that like, you know, you could have this. could have been stretched out. >> Did you see it? >> No. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> I can't believe you didn't see it. >> Um I'm really full of anxiety right now. >> Why? >> Cuz next week's the weekend. >> What is it? >> My special. Oh, >> I know you're taping, >> you know. So, can I say something funny. that happened a couple days ago? >> I call Abby, my manager, >> and she I go, >> "Does she have a phone?".

>> No, I do a smoke thing. [laughter]. >> Bobby needs me. >> Yeah. I um I go, "Well, what about intro. music, right? How much does that cost?". And this and that. And she goes, she goes, "Why don't you just use a. public domain song. >> like a just like a from a from a free. library?". >> Imagine this. Ladies and gentlemen, boys. and girls, Bobby Lee, take me out to the. [laughter] ball game.

>> Look up the Amazing Grace one. >> Happy birthday [laughter] to That'd be. such a funny song to come out to. >> Yeah. Yeah. I mean, public domain. I. mean, it would give you like a couple of. minutes up top to joke about it if you. did happy birthday. >> Yeah, maybe. >> If you're like, "Hey, man, we can't. afford it." See how elaborate this is? >> Yeah. >> Are you excited to shoot? >> Uh, I don't know if excited is the word. It's just like anxiet a lot of anxiety. Really? >> You've worked so hard on this. The hour. is going to be [ __ ] amazing. It's. going to break records. >> You know, it's not. But, um,

>> it's going to get nominated. It's going. to break records. It's going to be the. highest viewed special on Hulu in. history. >> I have really bad jokes in it. Well, that doesn't mean it's not going. to be watched. [laughter]. >> You know what I mean? >> Yeah. >> Plenty of things that were bad were. watched by a lot of people. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> You know. >> Yeah. That's true. >> Yeah. It happens all the time. >> Yeah. Okay. So, bad is good, >> right? Bad is good. >> Michael Jackson. Bad. Good. >> Yeah. >> So bad it was. He I mean bad. to name an album. Bad.

>> Yeah. >> Is good. >> Yeah. It's good. >> So, it should be Bobby Lee. Bad. >> Yeah. Bad. Yeah. >> Everyone's going. The family. >> The family's going. Yeah. I'm sorry I. can't be there. >> It's okay. >> I saw her in Hawaii swimming in the. ocean. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> I saw Bro Shaka. Ocean girl. [laughter]. >> Ocean girly. >> You're swimming for like three days. straight. Huh? >> Mhm. >> That's got to be so freeing. How nice. she gets to do that. >> Yeah. >> No responsibility. >> No responsibility. >> Just swim in the ocean for three days. >> Yeah, man. Hey everybody, I use AB.

[laughter]. >> Yeah, man. Look at how silky my hair is. Oh my. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Shout out to company, EBB. >> Doing commercial. >> The commercials are great. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. You're acting. I see her acting in. it now. >> Are there any times where she's making. you do it and you don't want to do it? >> Sometimes. [laughter]. >> And she convinces you. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> How long when you go out to the ocean. and you guys go for a dive day or. whatever, how long are you in the in the. water for? >> I think max is like four or five. >> Five hours is a long time. >> A long time being in the water. But they.

can just live out there. >> Well, they're from down there. >> Yeah, I know. No, but they love the. water. >> You were born underwater, weren't you? >> Your mom had you underwater. [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> Can I tell you the greatest moment of my. life? >> I better be included. >> You were not there. [laughter]. >> You're absolutely not there. You're not. there. >> Interesting. >> It's like um one of the most peaceful. moments of my life. >> No, I wasn't there. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, [laughter]. >> when you're around I get throat like you. know what I mean? Lump in your throat.

You throat. Yeah. I get sore. >> Yeah. Me, too. >> Yeah. Yeah, you get the Right. I know. I. know. Me, too. My whole body hurts. >> when I said when you were on me. >> Oh, yeah. >> Oh, yeah. Me, too. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> So, um, we all went to the Philippines. and, >> [snorts]. >> uh, >> nothing. >> And you know how they have like millions. of the not million, but thousands of. little islands? Yeah. Around. >> You can take a little boat, you know, I. mean, to like a super small island, >> right? Like. >> a beautiful day. >> And um, >> what's on those little tiny islands? One.

tree sometimes. >> That's [laughter] it. >> Yeah. Yeah. Like one or two trees. >> Wow. >> Yeah. So, we went on this island and I. was It so blew the water. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And I was floating on my back. >> in the water, right? >> Where it's like, you know, I mean, you. can you can hear the ocean. >> bobbing in and out of your face, >> but you can also hear the people. So, they were like playing games on the on. the beach. >> That's where you were. So you could. hear, you know what I mean, them just. you just hear laughter and joy, but. you're also hearing the sea,

>> right? And I closed my eyes and it was. the ultimate. piece pe piece I've ever felt. >> and and joy. >> It was nirvana. You were. >> Yeah. But you know um when I was. [laughter] so funny but when I was at um. that treatment center for trauma. >> right we you know we did this thing. where it's like if you do this right and. you think about your um that one that. was my experience thinking of think of. an experience where you're truly. peaceful and I I got hypnotized and if I.

do this apparently it takes me back but. it never works. [laughter]. >> Yeah. It never works. >> It never does. Yeah. >> I'm there. >> Yeah. But it's like um Yeah. >> Yeah. I'm there. >> Exactly. [sighs]. >> What's your most peaceful moment? >> I think I talked about on the show. It. was uh. >> Had we done Bad Friends yet? >> I think it was just at the beginning. >> Okay. >> And then I um No, right before. It was. actually right before. It might have. been six years ago. Okay. >> And I hung out with these people and had.

a great day. Then I met up with Durmer. and got some phenomenal seafood. And. then we went to Alkai Beach and rented. um uh longboards, you know, paddle. boards. And I went out on the board and. I was just laying out there in the. ocean. It's a similar oddly similar. story. And I was just laying on it just. kind of letting the slow slow wake take. me and I was like I could die right now. >> Alkai Beach. It was one of those moments. that I just I don't know why it was. perfect. It was just beautiful and.

perfect out on the water. There. something about it. It was weird. It was. like everything aligned. And then the. show that night was [ __ ] awesome. >> Yeah. It was at that club in Seattle. >> Parlor Live. >> Yeah. Parlor. >> Yeah. I love that club. >> Where you had to go through the bar? >> Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was the That. was the club where that um native guy. didn't let me in. Remember? >> Oh, yeah. [laughter]. >> Yeah. That's the same club. >> That's right. >> Well, they closed down. >> I know they did. >> That's because of you. >> No. Yes. You got that native a big deal. >> Yeah. Yeah. Anyway.

>> Yeah. They That's your most peaceful. >> That was just a moment that like you. reminded me of when I I've talked about. that before. It just made me feel like. >> Amen. Everything is okay. >> Yeah. >> And it was for a little bit. What's your. most peaceful moment? >> Um, >> but you can't include the water cuz we. already did that. [laughter]. >> It usually does. >> I know. You're right. You can do include. water. >> I think the first time I've um free. dived with Atalai and I was able to go. really deep and I just stayed there for.

like a long time. >> How long can you hold your breath for? >> Not that long. Maybe just like a minute. and like a half or something. >> So you stayed down there for about a. minute. >> You were peaceful for 45 seconds. [laughter]. >> Yeah, >> it was so nice. >> Oh, >> and did you come back up and you felt. like I want to keep going down as far as. I can? >> Mhm. >> And. >> the free dive thing scares me. >> Yeah. >> Two to two. No, no, no. I belong up top. >> Was the swimming of the sharks up when. we used to do that [ __ ]. >> That was so fun. >> I know. It's [ __ ].

>> That was so nice. >> You don't need to swim with those guys. >> I'm not doing that anymore. It just. doesn't make sense. >> Yeah. >> I'm going to swim with that really big. great white shark. >> Okay. [laughter]. >> Aren't they all big? >> No. Like the this one is like the. >> like one that that one lady does. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What's her name? >> I first. >> I saw that documentary. That lady that. swims with the great white sharks. >> Yeah, that one. >> What is that for? What do you get out of. that besides almost killed? >> Well, a relationship. You can develop a. relationship. >> This isn't the octopus teacher.

>> I know. Look at that. Would you do that? Oh, cool. >> Would I do that? [laughter]. >> I mean, >> in what [ __ ] world would I want? Look. at how fat that guy is. >> Get him on a GLP1. [laughter]. >> Yeah, >> but he hasn't died, so it means she The. shark's fine. >> Yeah, he's eating everything in sight. >> Yeah, >> he'll live forever. >> She's got a bag of In-N-Out burgers. [laughter]. >> Is that what. >> you can't You can't see it, but Yeah. >> Double trouble. >> Yeah. >> By the way, he he that is a fat [ __ ]. shark, dude. >> Dude, that.

>> Oh, he's a little cho. So scary. >> So cool. >> He's so fat he can't turn around, though. He can't get you if you're. behind him. >> Yeah. >> I mean, no. Absolutely not. What's cool. about that? That thing. Don't they They. kill humans. >> I don't mind. >> You don't mind being killed? >> No. >> I mean, they'll tear off an arm. >> What a bummer. [laughter]. >> That's a bummer. >> That's a bummer. Yeah. Huge bummer to. lose. Yeah, you're right. You're right. If you're going to lose a limb, which. one are you going to lose? >> My left leg. I don't know. >> Left leg is good. Yeah. It's pretty. useless, I guess. I understand that.

Ocean Ramsey. >> because you can hide prosthetic legs. with the new high-tech, you know what I. mean? >> Great tech. >> prosthetics, right? >> Yeah. >> So, you could wear jeans, put a. prosthetic on. You can still kind of, you know what I mean? >> Walk [laughter] around, right? But with. an arm, I think it's harder to hide. >> It's impossible. >> Yeah. Although the hands now are looking. pretty realistic. They're getting. better. >> Yeah. But you can't go like this or, you. know what I mean? Or shaka or anything. like that. >> You can't do You can't do shaka. >> No shaka. [laughter]. Or unless you can go you can do sh if. you bend it push it down.

>> You push it down. >> like it's kingpin with that fake hand. >> Like let me see. >> Yeah, they're getting really good. >> Whoa. >> Whoa. Dude, >> that's me. >> Look at how Wow. I can't really It's. getting It's getting good. Yeah. >> The amount of these that are going to. get stuck up someone's ass though. >> Yeah. >> The rubber one. See, that's why you need. metal. So there's no tempted. It's. >> so You kind of want You lose a hand just. to get that. >> No, you don't. >> Yeah. Look at how cool that looks. >> Okay, dude. >> You know what I mean? You can leave. How it's mind controlled. bionic arm. So your brain is now.

>> your brain does it. >> And now Nike has that one shoe where has. it's attached to your ankle and it helps. you. >> what? >> Right. >> Yeah. >> Nike has a shoe that like is. >> that you can now get where it's like I. think it helps you walk. >> What? >> It gives you more propulsion. I don't. know what the word is. Um. >> Yeah. Propulsion's got to be right. >> Yeah. Yeah. That. >> Wow. So it straps onto your ankles. >> Yeah. your ankle onto the shoe. >> and it makes you go faster. >> Mhm. >> I don't know if it makes you go f It.

can. >> It can, I think. Yeah. >> Oh, let's get those. How much are those? >> You're going to get it, right? >> I might. >> I know. >> How much are those? [ __ ] [laughter]. >> It looks awesome. >> I know. >> I mean, that's incred or even planning. on coming out yet? >> Okay. Hey, Nike. >> Yeah. >> Send these to us. >> Yeah, those are cool. >> Let us be the first. Let us be the test. rabbits for the Imagine they have like. world champion runners doing them and. then they send them to us. >> Yeah, these are supposed to calm your. mind down. They come out this week. When.

you step on it, it hits those balls and. it sends uh something to your brain and. it relaxes you. >> They're called the Nike Mind Twos. >> I want those two. >> I want those two, dude. [laughter]. They're doing it. >> How do they keep doing it? >> I don't know. They got to be stealing. from Japanese people. >> There's no Yeah. No, that's definitely. [ __ ]. >> stolen from Japanese. >> Chiropra Noi. What's it called? Um with. it with the needles. >> acupuncture. >> acupuncture like all the nerves and. >> stealing from the Japanese. >> They're just stealing from it. >> Yeah. Um dude that. >> Wow.

>> I really want. >> But do you think it's psychological? >> Of course. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> It's placebo, but it also but also. they've shown that like as the shoe has. advanced, it does do really good things. for your like when you're running long. distances like a really good running. shoe does things well for your brain. >> because there's so much in your feet. >> Yeah. >> There's so much in your feet. It's got, have you ever seen like the reflexology. stuff about like when they find these. trigger points in your feet and all it. like one one thing is release of stress. at certain places and something it's all. connected. >> Like this works when you do this for. headaches and stuff. Why does that work?

>> I don't know why that works. >> I don't want to know. That freaks me. out. Like we found out where the. motherboard is. >> Yeah. [laughter]. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But maybe those shoes. we got to get those. Get get those for. us. >> Please get those for us. Yeah. >> What What else is other high-tech shoes. that are coming out? >> We got to get more shoes. I used to have. Nikes that were Bluetooth Nikes. >> They speakers. >> No, they uh they just tied like from an. app. Like I would put them on and they. would get tight when I would press tie. my shoe. >> Oh, that's cool. >> That's kind of cool. >> That's like auto laces from Back to the. Future. >> Ex. Yeah, I had that.

>> You had those shoes? >> No, I had like the modern version years. ago. >> Or what the tennis shoe that turns into. skates? >> Sick. >> No, but there's like. >> ice skates or roller skates. >> Roller skates. But they're getting. better now, I think. >> Yeah, those the mags. The Nike Mags. Those are the ones from Back to the. Future. >> What do those do? >> Self-lacing. Remember from Back to the. Future? >> Wow. >> You know what I really wanted? Those. were sick. But I also wanted the drying. jacket. >> Drying mode. I just thought that was so. cool. And it came out. It's like you. come out of the rain like.

>> it dried. >> And how far away from hoverboard? >> What the [ __ ] are they waiting for? >> Okay. What are WE LET'S GET THAT GOING. >> YEAH. WELL, how are we? >> Yeah. Why are we not doing hoverboard? >> They invented that 30 years ago in film. We can't get it done. No, that's not the. thing. That's not the hoverboard, dude. >> I clicked on shopping. >> They're They got to be close to getting. this. >> Well, if you make the ground like. magnet, you know, >> then you can do it. >> Then you can do it. >> But think about how do you slow down or. stop? >> Oh, right. >> You're [ __ ]. >> You're [ __ ] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> You know, like they're creating the. train that goes from LA to Vegas. It.

doesn't it use magnets? Isn't it magnet. propulsion? >> Let me ask you something. Okay. Would. you rather, you know, I mean, us. um focus our energy on either high-tech. stuff just for like everyday household. goods or only high-tech stuff for your. health? >> Oh, that's such a good question. >> You know what I mean? >> Cuz I think the health is probably more. beneficial, but my god, would it be. better around the house stuff? >> Yeah. Yeah. Like I mean, talking about. hoverboards, you know what I mean? All. that kind of stuff, you know what I. mean? But it's like, >> yeah, [ __ ] health. Let's do that.

[laughter]. >> We're all going to die. I know, but. health you you could extend your life. for 20 more years. >> Why? >> Exactly. >> Cuz if you're 100, you're going to feel. like [ __ ]. >> Yeah. >> There's no way. Cuz they can't make your. bones get younger. >> Yeah. >> But what if they can? >> No, they can't. >> Can you like improve your body and just. get you abs? And like. >> I think one day they're going to give us. an ability to take your [ __ ] brain. and get a new body. >> Well, they're doing already doing head. transplants. >> Richie's interested. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. [laughter]. >> This guy loves heads.

>> Yeah. You They're experimenting with it, but it's like would you Okay, if you. >> no successful lasting head transplant. with animal experiment showing limited. survival days to weeks and partial. function, but I'm telling you, dude, they're going to get there. >> They're going to get there. >> Whose body do you want? >> Okay, so what? No. No. Okay, here's a. good question. Very. Now, listen. I'm. thinking I'm more if they preserved it. I'm more Gary Coleman. [laughter]. >> I've always wanted to be a little black. guy. [laughter]. >> What do you think?

>> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. That is such a good lineup. >> Your Asian head on a little black body. >> The black body would be so I'd be on a. sitcom right away. >> Right away. >> Yeah, I mean. >> the work you. >> Hey everybody, [laughter]. >> Mr. Cooper, stop. [laughter]. >> Yeah, I mean that'd be cool. What? What? What body would you want? >> Wait a minute. World's first volunteer. of head transplant fails to accept the. surgery for a lack of funds from Russia. So this guy was down to do it. >> Oh. So he could get a a able body as. well. >> What?

>> What? because he's. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. He He wants a new body. because he's he's. >> fully paraplegic. >> Parapillegic. Yeah. Yeah. >> Right. So, he wants a mobile body. But. even if you did give it to him, he. wouldn't know what to do with it. [laughter]. >> What do you mean? >> He's never had one. What does he I mean, >> well, you could go dancing with Richie. [laughter]. Him. and Richard are both [laughter] doing. the same thing. >> Blood vessels are being linked with.

tubes. So they So they're trying to do. it. >> Yeah. >> But this is old. They've they've been. tried. This was over a decade ago. They. tried with this Russian. >> But no, but now I think they're it's. it's about to happen. I think. >> we're going to do it. >> Yeah. Yeah. Try. >> Are we really going to do it? I mean, by. the way, Russia, shout out. They would. try it first. Yeah, we will try. [ __ ]. us. [laughter]. >> They don't give a [ __ ]. >> They don't give a [ __ ] Yeah. Yeah, >> how it's supposed to work theoretically. cooling both donor and recipient heads. and bodies are cooled to slow cell death. connection key blood vessels uh the. jugulars and the karate are connected to.

first maintain blood flow to the brain. potentially using a special plasma. spinal cord fusion because we do those. don't we do fusion spinal cord fusion. now for people that get in like tra. tragic car accidents and stuff. >> other connections and nerves and trachea. esophagus are reconnected. >> but so but you're kept in a coma for. weeks to allow the healing for the body. and then they hope you can come out of. it. >> but where do you get the body though. does Somebody volunteered like you can. have my body. I'm going to die. >> I'm sure it's someone that just died. >> But from died from what though? That. would depend. You know what I mean? Like. I don't want his body. >> Okay. If you go [laughter].

if you get into a car accident, right? That's how they use all your organ. parts. If you're still young and good. >> Yeah. But the body's damaged if you're. in a car accident. If you died from. impact from a car accident, the body's. no good. That's my point. Where do you. get the body? >> Gunshot to the head. >> Okay. That's the only scenario. >> Gunshot to the head. Keep the body on. ice. Would you donate your head to. science jewels? >> Yeah. >> Would you donate all your organs? All of. them? Yeah. >> Everything. >> I don't mind. >> You don't care. >> No. >> Yeah. Good. Good for you. >> Last thing about the head transplant, though. Doesn't your brain old? Like if. you get a 22-year-old guy's body,

>> right? >> But your brain's still old. >> But imagine using that body with the. knowledge that you have. >> Would that extend your life? You think? >> Sure. Of a little bit. Because isn't. isn't part of your isn't part of your. physical existence your mental health. and happiness? So, you would be happier. because you're like, "Wow, I've got this. young body. I I feel less pain.". >> Wow. >> First human head transplant two years. away, says a surgeon. >> See, >> that's that was a decade ago. >> Oh, [ __ ]. >> No update. [laughter].

>> Well, on this note, you know what day it. is today? >> Happy birthday. Is it? [laughter]. >> It's Martin Luther King Day. >> Is it today? >> It's today. >> Oh my god. >> Did you have a dream? Have you ever had. a dream? >> I have a dreaming. >> Yeah. I used to have a bit like that. >> A Martin Luther King. Asian Martin. Luther King. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> What is it? >> I have a dreaming the white people do. their own laundry. [laughter]. >> Like that kind of bit. >> That's a great bit. >> Yeah.

>> Yeah. >> Look at him playing pool. >> MLK running the [ __ ] table. >> Dude, I have a dream. Eightball side. pocket. That album was really good. [laughter]. Airpod in his ear. >> Yeah. Oh, [laughter]. >> your laugh, Richie. I love it. I want to. bottle that up. >> Put in a genie bottle. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> 300 years. 300 years. Somebody finds it. Oh, like. >> I imagine he collects laughs. >> Yeah,

>> you do. You have a can of laughs at home. >> in little jars right next to the heads. >> Gross. [laughter]. >> I just I get scared for these women that. go over there and see all these heads. >> Yeah. >> Cool. >> Yeah. >> When was the last time we had a girl. over? >> Like not that long ago. Two weeks ago. Okay. >> Actually, not two weeks ago, cuz that. was Christmas. >> How many times do you wash your sheets? >> Um, >> be honest. >> He's like, "Sheets. We have to have. sheets." [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> I try my best. Anytime somebody comes. over, it's an instant wash. But like me. personally, just me, like week or two. >> That's good.

>> A week or two? >> Week or two. >> And then what? >> Usually two if it's just me. [laughter]. >> What about you? When do you change. sheets? >> Change my sheets if there's a lot of bon. going on. Yeah. >> Like if we're getting them sloppy. >> every like 5 days. >> Okay. >> But if there's not a week and a day or. so, it's almost like eight or nine days. >> Yeah. >> But if if we're hooking up a lot, if. it's a fun month, >> Yeah. >> then you got to flip them like every cuz. then they just get nasty. >> Yeah. >> You know what I mean? >> Yeah. >> But like Yeah. I'd say 5 days. 5 to.

eight depending on the [snorts] level of. bone bone juice. >> What about you? >> Every day. [laughter] Bobby, >> you change them every day. >> Well, I did until her mom left. You didn't do You had someone else. change them every day. >> Her mom. >> Your mom would change her sheets every. day. >> Every night. >> Yeah. [snorts]. >> She would wash them every day. >> I have like so many sheets. >> Yeah. >> But she would just cycle through and. wash them all the time. >> Mhm. >> Wow. >> I'm a king. [snorts]. >> Feed me grapes. [laughter].

>> You're allergic to grapes. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Not every day, but she would do it once. every four days. I think. >> that's pretty standard. That's I mean. for for a guy like you who lives in the. lifestyle that you live. Yeah. I cannot. sleep. I've tried without taking a. shower. [sighs]. >> Oh, at night. >> Yeah. >> Interesting. >> Tim Dylan was like, "Yeah, man. Just. sleep without taking a shower. I do it. all the time.". >> No, it's nice to get into bed clean. >> Yeah. So, I tried it and at 4 in the. morning, I was like, "I got to take a. shower.". >> Right. Is that I mean, how do people. sleep without taking a shower?

>> I'll tell you what I've been doing, though. >> Yeah. >> So, I've been had to shower again at. night. Even if I just showered, I've. been going in the hot tub cuz hot tub in. the rain. >> My god, hot tub in the rain, >> it's the best. It's the best in thing in. the world. >> Wow. >> Hot tub in the rain to me. >> is is just something about it. You're. like I feel I feel like Andy D frame. when he swam through the the pipes of. poop. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> You come out clean on the other. >> Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I hot. tub in the rain. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> It just it's it's it's life-changing. >> They would have found me in that [ __ ]. tube [laughter].

>> like 20 years later. I would have never. made it out of there. >> He made it like 15 ft. >> Yeah. They would just see my you a. Korean [laughter] skeleton in there. How long would you last in that poo? There's no way. >> I could never do it. >> I could never do it. >> Well, no. If your life is on the line, if you need if you knew that was freedom. and it was how many football football. fields? >> Four. >> Four football fields. >> Yeah. Yeah. Four football fields are. crawling through poo. >> Gosh. >> Would you be able to do it? >> I think you at some point would just. check out mentally and just be like it. would just be. >> it'd be muscle reflex just like go go.

go. You would just get used to it and you'd. run out of throw up at some point. >> Oh my god. You had nothing left. You. would get some in your mouth. [laughter]. >> Just kidding. >> Splash. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? >> I know. >> Yeah, >> you would do it for freedom. >> Yeah, >> for freedom. >> And then what happens if you got out and. there was no rain? He was lucky. [laughter]. HE FOUND A RAINY DAY. THERE'S NO RAIN. YOU'RE JUST LIKE [ __ ] There's no Ah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Look at that guy covered in [ __ ] running. THROUGH [laughter] THE STREETS.

POO MAN. >> That's Andy Defrain. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Andy, why are you covered in poo? Yeah, >> he's lucky there was rain. >> He was That was a lucky day for him. >> Stephen King. >> Yeah. >> And you know what's so funny? That's a. great pairing because he wrote it cuz. the the the thunder strikes are when he. decided to hit the rock on the pipe. He. waited till it rained. >> That was a part of it. >> Oh, that's right. The thunder had to. rain at night because. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wait. So, he did plan. it. You're right. >> Yeah. But still, you're you're right, though. >> Yeah. >> Cuz what if it just thunder and rain was. dissipating? >> Yeah, it could have dissipated.

[laughter]. >> Like, he thought it was pouring down. rain. He goes out there, it's just. spitting a little bit. >> Yeah. How long would it take to get the. poop off? >> Yeah. There's no way. >> By the way, he washed himself in the. water that was poop water. >> Yeah. >> So, he didn't really get clean. >> Yeah. >> It was still poop water. >> Oh, so it's the 1950s, right? >> Yeah. >> He would never be able to do it in. today. >> No. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> No, they don't have. >> As soon as he got up, there's a cameras. everywhere. Yeah. Tik Tockers taking. [laughter]. >> videos of him. Yeah. Yeah. He'd be. >> Twitch streamers being like, "Come out. here with the Poo Man." [laughter].

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get 50% off your first Factor box plus. free breakfast for one year. Offer only. valid for new factor customers with code. and qualifying autorenewing subscription. purchase. Make healthier eating easy. with factor. I saw your buddy Colin Jo this morning. >> You played golf with him. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. You play golf. >> We talked about you. >> Really? >> Yeah. >> What' you say? >> That we both really love you. >> A. >> And then I asked him uh who who you. want? Headphones? >> I don't know. I'm wondering. I just.

>> give him headphones. [laughter]. >> Yeah. Give him headphones. >> No. No. I don't need it. I don't need. it. >> Bobby said you don't listen. >> Whoa. Yeah, it is what he said. >> [laughter]. >> says, "You do not listen.". >> I don't I don't think you listen. I was. >> I think you drift. >> I was so hungry that you But you see. yourself in me. >> I do. >> So, it's fine. >> because I don't listen. >> There's nothing in this. >> Yeah, I never listen. >> No, you don't. >> There's nothing in this. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> He's got nothing in the Yeah. >> Rudy. RUDY. [laughter].

>> No socks, huh? >> Hey, no socks today. Sockless, >> huh? You like them? So cute. >> Thank you, girl. [laughter]. >> Those are They're very Middle Eastern of. you. >> Oh, wow. Thank you. >> I like that. >> A little bit Hispanic, if you will. >> Are those Hispanic shoes? >> Yes, maybe. Anybody. >> Did your puppy have those? >> Everything I wear is Hispanic. [laughter]. >> Do you know you probably don't sleep. well? Do you sleep well? >> I either sleep a lot or No. [laughter]. >> It's one or the other. >> It just depends. >> What What was it last night? >> Last night it was uh I did good last.

night, but the the night before that I I. woke up scared, man. You ever wake up. scared? >> Why are you scared? >> I woke up scared cuz I drank. >> I drank and then I woke up scared. You. know what I mean? My left leg, my left. leg starts to go numb. But it's in my. head. It's not It's all in your head. >> Where do you stay when you come to LA? >> Um I stay at the No, don't. >> I stay right I stay by the store. Close. to the store. I want to go by there. Want to do stand up. >> FANCY, HUH? >> RUDY. [laughter]. >> RUDY. >> RUDY. RUDY, say hi to our guest. >> Yeah, I do.

>> Hi. >> Hi. >> Yeah. You know, she's got a massive. crush on you. It's unbelievable. [laughter]. >> She can't stop talking about it. >> It's been a continuous thing on this. show. >> Oh, come on. >> When will you have Marcelan? Because I. want to say to him, right? >> Yeah. That's what she said. >> You know what? You're [ __ ] Yoko. >> Yes. >> You're Yoko. >> You're. Yeah. If you were in a band, she would. break it up. You can't sing. Maybe she's. Yoko. >> She would break it right up. She If you. started dating her, she'd kick get you. kicked off SNL so fast. Really? Oh, yeah. >> Your toxic Rudy.

>> No. Are you tonedeaf? >> Me? >> Yeah. >> Why? >> Can you sing? >> Can I sing? No. No. I can do deep voice. >> Yeah. But can you. >> You seem like you're tonedeaf. >> That's. >> very good. >> Only fools. rush. >> It sounds like a foreign guy trying to. do that song [laughter] in English. >> Yeah. >> Wise man will say. >> only will a fool [laughter] will he be. the Russian. >> because I language. >> [laughter].

>> You can dance, too, huh? That I do. Daddy can do that. I can do. >> Well, we've seen that. You've showcased. your ability to dance. >> Yeah. >> What's the thing that we haven't seen. you do on TV that you're like waiting? That's something in your back pocket. >> I got to do a soccer thing. I'm good. I'm really good. You have anything. that's a circle here? [laughter]. >> I can. These guys will kick anything. >> I can juggle that baseball. I can do. some stuff with it. >> Can you really? >> Probably. >> stand up and do it. >> Yeah. Yeah. Okay. >> Oh, I thought that was going to work. Let's go. >> Yeah. Your foot feet. YOU'RE NOT WEARING. SOCKS. WHOA, DUDE. [screaming].

[laughter]. >> OH, BRO, YOU ARE GOOD, >> DUDE. >> WOW, >> that is incredible. >> That's incredible, dude. >> OH, YEAH. OH, SHOELESS. >> OH, SHOELESS. >> SHOLESS. >> OKAY, sit down. Sit down. [laughter]. >> Here he goes. Here he goes up. >> HEY, [screaming]. come on. >> Yeah. >> WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT, SN? >> HOW ABOUT THAT? HUH? Come on. >> Can your fancy bee do that? [laughter].

>> We want you to replace our fancy bee so. bad, dude. >> God, man. >> You would be the one. >> That guy. Fancy B. You guys really What. does the B stand for? >> You tell us. >> Come on. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> What do you guys love to eat? >> Yes. [laughter]. >> You love it? >> What is your favorite? >> Wait, what? Look at me, dude. You like. it? >> What? >> Beans. >> Yes. >> Yeah. >> I like it, too. Ice and beans. >> I'm a fancy bee. >> What's your favorite meal that your mom. made you? Um, my mom never cooked a lot. My mom was always traveling for work. >> What about your grandma?

>> How does that make you feel? Um, my. grandma, she didn't cook either. My mom. was, my grandmother was a cashier at a. CVS. >> Seriously? >> Yeah. >> Wow. >> We didn't have a lot of like. >> So, no, no homecooked meals for you as a. kid. >> Not really. My mom can make a great uh a. seoya. >> Oh, right. [laughter]. >> That's good, dude. >> You You really live in this dangerous. line, huh? >> I don't have a choice. >> You'll do anything. >> Well, I'm not on SNL, dude. I can do. whatever I want. All right. I'm free. living. The thing that got Shane. canceled I do every week on this show.

>> Every single week. Think about that, >> too. It's [clears throat] incredible. >> That's the freedom of this platform. We're allowed to do it. But you got to. stay a little good little boy. You got. to be a good little boy. Cuz you're. going to be a movie star, aren't you? >> I have a job to do. >> Are you going to be a movie star? >> I hope so. >> You're going to be a movie star. >> He's got a movie. Netflix. >> Yeah. >> You and who? >> Kevin Hart. Co-star. >> Kevin Hart. >> Yes. That one. >> He's done movies with Kevin Hart. >> So have you. >> I have. Yeah. >> Yes, I have. >> I just saw you in a movie. >> No, you didn't. >> Yes, I did. Last night. What movie was. it? >> Now You See Me, Now You Don't. >> Oh my god. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. And how was I?

>> And [laughter]. >> it was funny, dude. You were fun. >> It's a f It was a fun little part. >> You got a lot of facial hair in that. one. >> Yeah, I grew it out. No, you. >> No. Yeah, I did. Yeah, I did The bush. I. did the front bush. We shot that in. Budapest. >> Where What's this movie you got coming. out? >> Um the uh with Kevin Hart, it's called. 72 Hours. It's like a bachelor party. thing. >> Oh, >> yeah. >> 72 Hours is like a I thought it was. going to be like an extension of the. Nick Noly 48 hours. I thought that was. going to be another What is this? Kevin. Hart, Wild 72 Hours, a new comedy. Who.

wrote it? >> Uh, >> not you. >> No, >> no, >> no. >> Who's that handsome guy? >> Look at that. >> Who is that guy? >> That's uh Mason Gooding. >> I'm talking about you, sweetheart. >> Oh, that's. >> care about that other guy on the left. What are you talking? Look at how good. looking he looks right there, Bob. >> Dude, >> zoom in on Marcelo. >> Marcelo. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> Kid's built. He's built for the picture. >> Come on. >> It's like Pepsi Cola now. >> What's up? He's like Pepsi Cola. Like. >> you think his name is Pepsi? >> No. No. What I'm saying is is that. you're like out there. >> Yeah. >> You know what I mean? How's it feel?

>> It's crazy. It feels weird. This is like. I've only done like four podcasts in my. whole life. >> Yeah. >> And today I did the third one of my life. and today I did the fourth one. I did. like one or two like before when I first. started doing videos online. Yeah. >> Which was like 2020. >> Yeah. >> So this is like the first podcast. >> This is the only one that matters. This. is the first one. >> This is the real one. >> This is the one. >> Look at you on variety with your shirt. off. >> I They made me do that. I was You didn't. want to take your shirt off. >> I didn't want to do the chains. I didn't. want to do the shirt, but you know, you. [laughter] don't know what to say. You. just don't know what to say. >> So, so they someone came by and was.

like, "Marcel, we'd like it if you had. your shirt off and we want to put put. these costume chains on you.". >> Yeah. And they go, "We have this idea.". And then, and then I go, they go, "Smile." And then something felt weird. to me about smiling with my shirt off. Yeah. >> So, I was like, I can't do that. >> Can you do that face? I want to try to. do that face. >> Look it. >> Look it. >> I like that's interesting that they go. take your shirt off, put on these. chains. And that was the idea. Somebody. did not do their work before. >> Thank you. >> They showed up that day and they were. like, "We have nothing to do.". >> And you don't get to approve pictures. So, you just find out. >> Your team never said yes or no to this.

>> No, you just find out. >> You got to get a new agent. They should. send you this before they approve it on. this. >> This was years ago. >> I don't think people can get I. >> It's hard to get approval. >> No, it's Dude, when they. >> I mean, Julia Roberts probably can. >> Exactly. You get to a point where you. can't. >> he's the male Julia Roberts. >> I know. I understand that. But. >> he's gonna get there, but I don't know. if he's there now. Yes, he is. >> Yeah. Okay. Get approval then. But this. was years ago. >> This is America's new sweetheart. >> Hi. >> Yeah, >> you are the representation of America's. best. >> ideas. >> Dude, you guys, you guys. Um, that was.

the worst one. That one right there in. the white. >> Let me see. >> that one. That's the worst picture I. think I've ever taken. My god. >> What am I doing with my neck? >> What? >> You know what I mean? >> Yeah. What are you doing? >> I don't know. You don't get aord. I. could have been stretching. I I. [laughter] could have been stretching. there. >> Yeah. >> Selling weapons overseas. >> It's like what? >> God. >> You just. >> Yeah. But you know what? You still look. good. The kid still looks good. Are you. happy on a little break right now? Right. >> Yeah, little break. But this has been. I've been busy, dude. I've been doing a. bunch of podcasts. I've been uh I'm. doing a a screening for my. >> screening for your special tomorrow.

Special comes out. >> uh January 7th. >> One day after our favorite holiday. >> Yeah. >> One day. >> What's your favorite? Oh. >> yeah. >> Come on. Day, dude. Come on, dude. >> We were there, dude. >> We were there twice. We got to go back. >> And a brick. [laughter]. >> Just you with a photo of you with your. shirt off a change. >> Yeah. If if AI was around back then, how. many comedians would have promoted their. their their week of shows? >> Oh my god, dude. With an AI. >> So many flyers. So many flyers. >> Oh, that would have been great. >> Let me ask you something, and you you. don't have to answer this, >> okay? >> Does Lauren know about this show?

>> Like, will Lauren see you on this show? >> Maybe. >> Uh-oh. >> If something bad happens, >> Rudy. >> Rudy, >> stop hitting on me. >> RUDY, [laughter]. >> DO you get intimidated by him? >> Um, sure. I but he's he I've gone to. baseball games with him. He's a cool. guy. >> He's also just like such like a he's. like we all have like a a grandparent or. somebody that's like, you know, the. elder of the. >> You call him a grandparent. >> The elder of the family. Yeah. >> Um and uh. >> it's different when the elder of the.

family is like working at like a crazy. high level. You know what I mean? >> Like it's different when they're. retired. It's a different energy. He's. he's on. >> he's on. >> Oh, right. Right. Right. Yeah. >> He's doing the thing. >> Yes. He's still very much doing the. thing. >> He's still your dad. He's still your. papa. But if he's like, "Come here. Let's go over here." You have to go with. them, right? >> Yeah. Yeah. I go to baseball games. >> Well, you go to baseball. You like You. guys You guys love baseball. >> My people. Yes. >> Yeah. >> We love baseball. >> See? >> And it's been very, very good to you. >> How you see your face? >> How you see. >> how you see your face? >> How you see your face? >> What are you doing? Move it.

>> Shut up. He's flirting with you. >> Have you seen your face? >> I have seen your face. >> How good does Bobby look these days? >> Honestly, the the Well, take a good look. at the skateboard behind him. Look at. how fat he was in that photo. Look what. [laughter] he looks like now. I mean, that's a that is a dead like that's a. great comparison. That is a before and. after right in front of your face. >> 100%. And yeah, that's dude. >> When you're like that, you don't No one. tells you. >> I told you all the time. >> I know, but I thought you were joking. >> I wasn't. >> Yeah. [laughter] Yeah. Yeah. But other. people out in the wild, they're like, "No, you look good." No, I didn't. >> I DIDN'T LOOK GOOD. You know what I. mean? >> But this was good. This has always been. good.

>> BUT [ __ ] THIS. >> All right. Yeah. >> I want to look good. >> Yeah. You want to look good. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is nothing. >> I prefer you fatter TO THE BODY. [laughter]. >> WHY? IT just feels like you look. huggable. >> OH, >> right now you got to look sexy. It's. time. Sexy now. >> I don't know if I look sexy. >> Yeah, you do. >> It's a stretch. >> But let me say something. I am excited. for his transition. He's going to get. >> I want to get real. >> He's going to get you know it. It's the. stage. It's the next thing. They're. going to go, "Look, Marcelo, you're. great on SNL. We love seeing you on the.

show, but we want the We want the. movies. We want the girls. We want the. money." And they got to get him jacked. >> cuz he's in good shape. Lift up your. shirt. >> Huh? >> Lift up your shirt. >> No. Come on. >> Come on. Come on. Give him some money, guys. >> No. No. No. >> You want to see? It's nothing crazy. >> Let's see. >> Yeah. See, he's in great shape. >> Skin and bones. What do you What size. waist? 28. >> 30. >> 30. Yeah, right. Liar. >> 30 with a belt. >> No. 30. I got big legs. I played soccer. forever. >> See? Sexier. You know what? You drop. sexy little things as a Yeah, [laughter]. I got big thighs. >> You know what stage I'm waiting for?

>> What's up? >> Stage five. >> What's that? >> You know what stage five is? >> Answer. >> Hey, Marcelo. It's Bobby. >> Oh, yeah. gone. >> I'll never [laughter]. >> I'll never You guys have. >> When's that stage happen? >> Dude, you guys have such a special place. in my heart. You don't even realize it. I was in the pandemic. I had a panic. attack in my house. I was spraying my. family. I was spraying my family. I was. [laughter] my I swear my mom my I. sprayed my whole family. My mom would. get home from the supermarket. I go. naked now, take the clothes off. I take. the clothes off. I throw it in the. washing machine. They hated me. My.

sister would paranoid. Dude, it was. really bad. >> It was really bad. [laughter] Don't play. a fool with me, [ __ ] It was really bad. And I was spraying spraying spraying. I. was mad at them. They were like, "We. want to go to lunch at a restaurant.". And I go, "You got to kill us all.". [laughter]. I would I was doing I was insane. I was. spraying my sister's hands. I was being. like a real psychopath. Was he a little. bit like that? >> No. But Kyla was like that. >> Kala? Yeah. Yeah. >> We We get food orders right outside. We'd have to spray it down for 30. minutes, let it sit out there, let the. air do its thing, and then bring it The.

reason that she really got on the show. was because Kala didn't trust him to not. go do something when we were done. filming. So she was kind of like a. liaison. A child by the way. >> She was in high school. >> She was in high school when she started. the show. >> She was babysitting Bobby. >> 100%. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I remember. Dude, I. I'm telling you, I used to watch it. every night. I used to listen to it to. go to bed. I needed people to be. pretending like things were fine. Yeah, we did. And you guys did that. >> But we were so dumb. We don't know any. better. We didn't know it wasn't fine. >> You guys sitting relatively close to. each other and talking and being funny. It saved my I I I truly believe it saved.

my life. >> Wow. >> No, that's that's very sweet. >> From For from me like really losing it. And I did end up I had to move out of my. mom's house. I had to move to my dad's. cuz it was like so contentious. >> And what about your dad then? Your dad. didn't care at all. >> My dad is just like two guys living in a. house when it's like your mother and. your sister, the people that you're. supposed to protect. You're like, don't. don't move a muscle. And [laughter] you. know what I mean? And then but with my. dad, I was like, it's okay. We're guys, it's fine. We'll be fine. >> Yeah. You didn't you didn't care if you. guys got CO together. >> Yeah. I thought it was like it's just. two guys. Like we'll figure it out. But. it's like your sister and your mom. It's. different. >> Protect. Protect. That's what that's. what you do with her. And then.

>> Did you get a co? >> Um I eventually did get it. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Do you like it? >> I was [laughter]. I got. >> No, I got it bad, dude. I couldn't. breathe and stuff. >> Yeah, it was bad. >> It was bad. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> You did get it back. >> I was laying on my side trying to. >> You don't [laughter] have You got Do you. have any health issues from when you. were a kid? >> Um no, but I don't like I think I have. to like I stopped smoking. I used to. smoke. I stopped smoking cuz I think I. my lungs I don't think are good. >> Give him a cigarette. >> Come on. Start again. >> Let's do it. We're here, right? >> The stress. The stress. The stress. You. got to start. He started smoking again. and I try to get him to quit multiple. times. He just won't do it. How did you.

do it? >> You're a sneaky healthy guy. >> I'm healthy, but I But I like to. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Whiskey. Whiskey. Whiskey. I like whiskey. Yeah. >> I love whiskey. >> You want some? There's some in the other. room. Be a little bad boy after the. show. >> Be a little bad boy after. >> Yeah. Um I want him to quit smoking. Tell him how to quit. >> How do you quit? I I I went cold turkey. I don't know if you've you But he's. tried everything. That's the problem. with a guy like this is that he's. Whatever a guy like this. >> What do you mean a guy like this? >> It's a problem with a guy like you. I. [laughter] when I was you tried. everything you tried everything you. started every drug quit it I quit I quit. quit it. >> the same thing. Yeah. Yeah. You started. it in a year. >> What the [ __ ] do you mean? What do you.

mean? Yeah. Yeah. You know what I I did. quit smoking two years. >> You started again. >> I know I started again but I'm just. saying what do you mean guy like this? >> Over a year now. Right. What? >> How long has it been? Over a year. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> You've been smoking again. >> I know. Here's the thing. I'm going to. quit after my special. >> That's not true. >> Yeah. Yes, it is. >> Yes, it is. Right. We have a pact. >> You will. Let's put an amount of money. on it. [laughter]. Give him. >> He goes, "We have a pact." No, we don't. I know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. See, he. doesn't listen. >> No, he listens. >> I listen. >> No, cuz you have one thought. >> You said make a packed. He didn't do it.

>> I know what I'm saying, though, though. [laughter]. >> What's that guy's name in the in the. maroon? >> Um, no idea. But that's Carlos. >> And who's the guy in the back? You know. who that guy is? >> No. >> Yeah, that's Mone. >> He's nervous, dude. >> Yeah, >> he is nervous, dude. >> We call him nervous, dude. >> You guys make him nervous. >> Shopify. >> Oh, we have an online business here at. Bad Friends and we use Shopify. uh. channel the fresh start energy of the. new year and finally launch your. business with Shopify. >> 2026 is the year that you rewrite your. story, your own future, uh and make your.

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quint.com/badfriends for free shipping. on your order and 365day returns. >> Now available in Canada, too. >> Oh, we love that. That's quint q i. nce.com/badfriends. Free shipping and 365day returns. quint.com/badfriends. >> Just based on looks in an apocalyptic. moment, right? Like zombie apocalypse. What? Whatever. Right. You had to choose. four people out of this room to be in. your team to survive. Who would you. pick? >> Easy. >> Yeah. Go ahead. >> Easy. It's It's you three. Rudy. I know. when we get out there, Rudy's going to.

be secret leader of the pack. >> And then um I'm going to go with Carlos. I mean, the other two I I I like you. guys, but [laughter] you seem easily. killable. Like, I get killed very. easily. >> Now, what's the first errand you make. Carlos do in the apocalypse? >> Cuz he's the errand guy. He's the He's. the runner. >> I mean, yeah. I mean, >> bullets. >> What do you mean bullets? It's the apoc. Oh, you mean the apocalypse here? When. >> like a zombie? Like a zombie apocalypse? >> Oh, zombie apocalypse. >> We have a compound. >> Yeah. I You know what? I don't even tell. him. He knows. >> HE KNOWS. [screaming] HE KNOWS. >> YOU WHAT'S THE bullet look? Give me the.

look. >> What look Oh, like when I need him to go. do something. >> Yeah. Yeah. Don't say anything. Like I'm. Carlos, right? And I look at you like, "Give me the bullet look.". >> I go like, "No, it's not bullet. Carlos. knows what we need. Not be bullets.". >> But I go like this. I go, "Hey, >> I'm on it. I'm on it. Yeah, I'm on it. >> You're in the car. >> I'm already getting bread. You're in the. car. >> I'm getting [laughter] bread." Yeah. Yeah. You want bread? You got it. >> Now, let's ask this question. >> That's why That's why you're not the. errand guy. You'd come back with bread. and we're like, "We don't need [ __ ]. [laughter] bread.". >> Goes bad so quickly, too. Golly, dude. >> Carlos, zombie apocalypse. I look at.

you. I go, "What are you going to get? Couple girls who haven't been. >> Okay, Carlos. >> Carlos. Girls who haven't been bitten. >> Okay. All right. Smart. I understand. I. understand. I understand. I understand. But you know what's going to happen? Carlo's going to go get these girls, right? Then he's going to try to be. cool, show off in his new car. You know, he's like donuts in the parking lot. They he end up getting them bit anyway. He still shows up with them and he's. like, "They weren't bit when I got them, but they're bit now, [laughter]. >> but we can hang with them for a little. bit.". >> And I've been thinking about it and I.

think we should all just get bit. [laughter]. What do you guys think? Should we just. get bit? Let's just get bit. >> Yeah, >> you're Yeah, you would. That would be. fun because it'd be like a version of. getting high probably because I know. that's You're seeking. You're seeking. The addict is seeking. >> Are you Are you sober? >> No. No. >> We've tried. >> We tried. >> We've tried for a long time. >> But in a zombie apocalypse, if you saw a. hot zombie, fully hot, >> would you try to hook [clears throat]. up? >> If I had a really bad injury already and. I was. >> But you're not You don't have the. [ __ ] virus though, right? You see a.

real like the titties are the body is. still fine. Maybe some scabs. >> You know what I mean? >> Couple of scabs. >> A couple of scabs. You know what I mean? The eyes are completely white, but the. face is still good. >> I did this in real life though. Like I. would go to parties. >> Yeah. Meth. >> Oh, co. Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. He would go hook up with girls in. the middle of. >> CO. He would have given you a panic. attack. >> There were parties in the hills during. >> CO and you would go and try to. >> No, not try. He would do. He hooked up. with a bunch of people during. >> CO. Yeah, >> it's actually where he hit the most home. runs during co because he was the only.

guy willing to just go for it. >> And to you it's he's easy to hook up. with chicks. >> Not anymore as I get older. >> This is not true. He is a [laughter]. >> He's a He's got a problem. He's got a. problem. >> He does very well with women. >> That's projecting from Bobby, obviously. >> Really? How dare you? Really? >> Explain yourself. Explain yourself. Explain yourself, dude. >> You're You're one of the most. problematic people with women. >> Wow. >> Wa. >> Like wa That's heavy shots, huh? >> Yeah, that word. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. word is crazy. issues with women. >> Whoa. Right. Issues. >> Wow. Right. >> With a lot.

>> Crazy. A lot. He says. >> lots. >> Yeah. What else? >> I mean, >> and you have no You have no issues with. women. >> Countless. >> Countless. Yeah. No. No. Exactly. So, we're the same. No. >> Yeah. But I'm just saying you were. >> It's like the pot calling kettle back. >> Yeah. You. >> And the pot will call you back if you. leave your phone out. [laughter] Will. call you back at some point. >> Honestly. >> Yeah. >> Why are you doing something today? You. shot it before you came. He was shooting. at was so nice to you today, too. >> And you Carlos, I said, >> "How was your day?". >> He was bragging that he stayed at a nice.

hotel and I needed to just tell him, "Oh, I've also been there." Like, let's. not brag. >> These guys have been button heads today. for some reason. >> What's the What's the deal with you, MAN? [laughter]. >> I know, dude. >> Because he's Hispanic. You're Hispanic. You guys kind of, you know, right? >> Connect. Connect. >> He might He might be the whitest looking. Hispanic of all time. >> What's your What? Why is it. >> Why am I white? >> Yeah. What's your Yeah. >> Mexico's city. My parents are Spanish. That's why. >> They're Mexican. No, they're Mexican, but they're Spaniards. >> All right. So, tell Marcela you wore.

those socks for him. Go ahead and tell. him about your socks. She [laughter]. wore socks just for me. >> Oh, play dumb now. Play dumb. Now that. he's here, tell him about the socks you. wore and why you wore them. >> Well, you bought them for him. Like, I'm. going to buy these because. >> I want these. Marcelo think these are. cool. >> Yeah. So, why those particular socks did. you buy? >> It's annoying. >> At the Universal Citywalk. [laughter]. Well, because. it's Snoopy, but I don't know if it's in. your culture to eat dogs, but in my. culture, it's. >> okay to eat dogs. And [laughter] I. thought that it would be nice to share. culture.

>> See, is that sweet? >> Okay. [laughter]. >> No, listen, Rudy, I love I I really do. love Rudy. I'm a fan of yours, I have to. tell you. Um, we don't eat dogs in my. culture um that I know of. No, but I'm. sure it's it's. >> people think it's a cultural thing. I do. think it's a socioeconomic thing. I. think it's like who who can we grab. >> and the doggy go and then [laughter]. >> you know. >> um but. >> I think you're right. I think you're. right. >> My mom said that in Cuba they were. eating horse.

>> So. >> that's that would be so tough. >> There's no fat. >> Yeah. >> Did you see that video on Tik Tok where. the I don't know what race they were but. they were boiling a boiling a horse. head. It was very horrifying. >> What on where what is your algorithm? >> My algorithm is like that. Yeah. Yeah. Just boiling horsehead. >> Oh no. Yeah. Yeah. That's on Ventura. >> It's on Tik Tok. >> Yeah, that's on Ventura. I know. Yeah. Yeah. What do you mean? No. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. No. No. [laughter] No. Like open it. Look. All right. All.

right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> No. He's brushing HIS TEETH FIRST. [laughter]. >> Very nice. >> What's that cavity? You can't eat. cavity. >> No. >> That's crazy. A horse head. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> All right. Enough. [laughter] Enough. He's getting sick. Take it off, please, >> enough. Oh, so you don't like any of that? >> Not I mean, what do you mean any of. [laughter]. >> Yeah. What does that even mean? >> Any of it. There's more. >> like that kind of stuff. You know what I. mean? Yeah. Yeah. You don't like it? I. got Yeah. >> I'm not sure what it is. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> What is What is What is your late night.

postshow meal? You got to have like a. late whether it's stand up or or taping. an SNL. What are you doing late night? >> I need to change it, but I love to get. home after doing shows and have like a. burger with fries. >> In New York, I do Seventh Street Burger. Have you tried it? Mm-. >> Really good smash burgers. They're. amazing. >> Smash burgers. >> And it's open late. >> It's open super late. >> It's got to be. These guys aren't done. till till 1 in the morning. >> That's That's the best. And then here, I. love In-N-Out, dude. I I really enjoy. it. >> I like the energy there. The people. inside of In-N-Out. They're taking it.

serious. They're taking it. [clears throat] serious. They all feel. like they're on camera, and they. probably are, but that yesterday we went. a couple days ago, we went and we're in. the window. We're waiting to get to the. lady that gives us the food, and there's. a guy in the window, and he's looking at. us, and we're looking at him, and we're. kind of just waiting for the food. And. then he goes like this. He goes, like he wanted to play rock paper. scissors rock paper scissors. >> Whoa. [laughter] You know what I mean? Wow. >> Did you do it? >> Yeah, of course. Did you win? >> No, he won. I think he does this a lot. [laughter]. >> He knows. >> Yeah. What What's your first just right. now? Instinct. You want to do it?

>> I go Yeah. Yeah. Let's go. >> Wait. One, two, three. >> It's always on three. You do it. >> No. No. You go rock paper scissors. Shoot. It's. >> correct. It's one rock paper scissors. Shoot. Okay. Ready? You want to do it? Rock paper scissors shoot. You won. I. never I've never won that game. >> [laughter]. >> I've literally never won that game. You. want to do one? >> Go ahead. >> Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. [snorts]. >> Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. >> Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. [laughter]. You got me. >> I did. >> He also went three times. >> So, I knew what he was going to do it. again. Yeah. So, that's why I did rocks. the same thing. There's. >> I I think you did do that. 100%.

>> Why did you do that? >> Well, cuz I want you to feel good. I'm. your friend. >> Oh, [ __ ] There's a therapist somewhere. that's like if they do paper three times. in a row. [laughter]. >> Very sad. Some Yeah. Yeah. >> And tell us about your father. You did. paper three times. >> Means you don't learn or something. >> What's your in-n-out order? I'm gonna. guess. You know what? I got it. >> Give me. I'm picky. >> Okay. >> Yeah, I can tell. Yeah, you are. You're. a little sweet prince, aren't you? >> Well, he's trying to lose weight animal. style. >> Animal style is not lose weight. The. animal style is just with That's just. grilled onions. No, protein style.

>> That's for me. Protein styles. My bad. >> No, he doesn't do that. [ __ ] that. But. he But I will tell you, he doesn't like. the onions. He gets those off of there. No onions. >> Yes, onions. >> Yes, onions. Yeah. Onions, dude. >> But but there is something I take off of. there. >> Tomatoes. >> No. >> ch. >> They're sauce. >> Yeah. >> You do? >> Yeah. They're sauce. >> Blasphemy. >> Yeah. >> You take the sauce off. >> Double double lettuce, tomato, onion. No. sauce. >> No sauce. >> No sauce. >> No sauce. >> You love it? >> I love it. >> Yeah. Do you eat the pepperonchinis? >> What's that? >> Oh, come on, dude.

>> It's like nothing. >> I was going to talk about nothing. >> Nothing. You don't. right there. Pepper. >> What do they call them? They're the. chilies. the the chili. >> They're not that spicy. Always eat it. >> They're pickled, right? They're not. spicy. >> I think also, do you like that stuff? [laughter]. >> Yeah. Like I'm just see I'm seeing you. go like this. Don't look at me like I. asked a crazy person. >> She goes like this [laughter] and I go, "You like that stuff?" And she goes, "What? You you [laughter] were you your body. language was Yes.

>> She likes She likes wild shit.". >> Yeah. I bet. Yeah. Yeah. >> Do you know what belute is? >> No. >> Oh my god. Look at a photo. >> You go to their house and you eat. whatever. >> Okay. Okay. Look at me right now before. you look at the photo. Okay. All right. Balut is this, right? >> Balut. >> Balut. Right. You say. >> ballout. >> So they take a duck egg. >> Balut, >> right? And then two weeks before the. duck is born, then they boil it. Yeah. >> Right. And they ferment it. Yep. >> Right. And so you eat kind of a baby. ducky kind of situation. Look at the. balloon. >> That's what it is. >> It's so good.

>> They love it. >> They love it. >> They love it. You put vinegar and salt. and you just slurp the. >> sauce inside. >> It's not sauce, >> Marcelo. [laughter]. >> That's guts. >> Marcelo, you can taste the feathers. >> I've had it before. >> We had it on this show. >> I've seen you guys talk about it. >> When you crunch on the skull, you you. can see the brain squirting your baby. squirting your. >> mouth. All right. All right. >> You know, that's what this show has. become now. [laughter]. >> Yeah. No, we know. >> You just stir fried a horse head. >> and then you showed me this. >> Yeah. Yeah.

>> Yeah. Wow. Wow. People of the world, they have different diets. So, no sauce. on the double double. >> I don't like I'm not a big sauce guy. I. also think um. >> You like fries as is or you need a more. more crispy. >> fries as I can do it more crispy. >> I like the more crispy. >> You know what I mean? But um. >> Are you a gravy guy? >> No, I think that's gross. >> Okay. Any gravy on biscuits or anything? >> Any gravy. >> And what's the soda order in the in this. combo? >> Uh Seven Up. I'm a Sprite guy. When I. was little, my dad told me that. Coca-Cola had cockroaches in it cuz he. was scared of me having caffeine and. then being a problem. [laughter]. >> I see. I see. I see. Yeah. Yeah. >> Seven Up Sprite. have an upper sprite.

Yeah. >> Yeah. >> But I think once you as you get older, >> you got a better palette. Yeah. [laughter]. Your soda palette changes. >> You're just looking for excitement. >> Do you look at us as like old men? >> Huh? >> You look at us like old men. >> Not old men, >> but definitely older men. >> Yeah. Older men. [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> Like I think that this. >> when you look at Lauren and me, it's. different. >> Yes. Different. >> Oh yeah. But close. >> No, Lauren, I would say is closer to me. cuz he has gotten to an age where you. can kind of you can make mistakes and. stuff and they're like, "Oh, he's old.". Same way if I make a mistake, they go, "Oh, he's just a young guy." You guys, what you're doing, it's important.

[laughter]. >> The decisions you're making, Carlos has. to be careful. >> You know what I mean? The one with the. glasses and the beanie and the hoodie. inside, he's okay. >> He can make mistakes. >> He's 24. >> He can do this. [laughter]. >> And people, he's 24. >> Yeah. >> And then the other one, you know, uh, >> mysterious. >> Mysterious. Yeah. >> He's 25. He thinks he's more super 20. He's 26. That's right. I for I always. forget that you got you grew up. [laughter]. >> You're 24 now, right? >> That's insane. Bobby, does it feel a. little bit good to have like these white.

guys running around doing whatever you. say? >> I do like [laughter] it. >> Yeah, >> there is a part of it of like Yeah, >> it is a part of it. >> Yeah, it's my time. [laughter]. >> You know what I mean? I'm no longer. running, you know, because in the. beginning I ran. I got all kinds of. stuff like you know I mean. >> so today candy bar. I'll get it. You. know what I mean? But not anymore. They. get the candy bar. >> I um you know Skankfest. >> Yeah. >> I used to do I was an intern at. Skankfest in 2019 2018. >> Wow. And I so they basically had I was. doing everything. I was setting stuff. up. I was making the goodie bags for the.

comedians. I was doing all that stuff. And then one day the lady that runs the. thing, she goes, "Um, the impractical. jokers are coming." And they would need. a shakurerie board. [laughter]. >> It sounds like an impractical joke. >> S and them are coming and they need a. shaky board. It's going to be Sal, David. They're doing this thing and you. need to get them a shakureri board. And. they give me a card and they go, "Get me. a shakureri board." And now I'm in. Brooklyn. I'm I'm an intern. I'm by. myself and I need to get a shakuri. board. [laughter]. >> So I'm running around from Delhi to. Delhi. Do you shakuri board? They go. this is a deli. What are you talking. about? I go over and over. Nobody knows.

Nobody knows. Nobody knows how for how. many people is shakur? I go like 10. people. They go that doesn't exist. You're talking about something. Finally. I show up to a place. >> I think it was a Korean delhi. I think. there was a Korean guy behind the thing. and I don't know. >> Yeah. You don't know. >> There's no way to know. Okay. >> And um [laughter]. and uh I don't remember. I didn't ask. him that. It was just an Asian guy and. it was at his deli. And I go I need a. shaky board. And he goes, "I'm sorry, man. We don't do And I go I go, "Do you. have um let me Google what's in our. shakurer board?" And I Google I go, "Do. you have this? Do you have carrots? Do. you have this? Do you have this? Do you. have this? Do you have ham? Do you have. this?" He goes, "Yes, I have all those. things." And I go, "Can we make it.

together?" And he goes, "I don't know. how much that would cost." I go, "It's. not my card." [laughter] And the guy. goes, the guy goes, "Okay, so now I'm. behind the deli, behind the the glass, and I'm chopping stuff up with him. >> You're making a bar." If I was, let me. just say, if I got that as a chukuri. board without the like, you know, the. little jam and the, you know, I mean, all the little things. >> Well, you didn't let him finish. Maybe. he got the I don't think he did. We. didn't get jam, but. >> you took sandwich meat and you chopped. it up. >> That's not a churu board. >> Sandwich meat. We got cheeses, different. cheeses. Um, cucumbers. What's the the.

peppers? The long peppers. And we put. them all together in a thing. I made two. of them. I made two of them. And then. the guy goes, "I don't know what to. charge you." And then honestly, he was. like. >> he was he looked at me and he was like, "I had a good time. [laughter]. like like we we built a kind of a. relationship and then um and then I. walked in like a legend cuz they were. really panicking about the charity board. and I walked in with the shakureri and. they were like how'd you do this and I. go don't worry about it. >> don't worry [laughter]. >> and I'll tell you something the jokers. didn't even touch one piece of meat. >> yeah yeah. >> that's the worst part is whenever we get. something in a rider it's like we don't.

we didn't even ask for it someone else. said they going to want this and we. never [ __ ] eat any of the stuff they. put in there and then the most beautiful. thing is I did that David telling all. these guys were in the green room and I. didn't get like a big, you know what I. mean? Congratulations, you did it. We. were in a tough place. You saved us. I. didn't feel like I got the credit I. deserved. But they were thankful. It. just was like I I didn't know how what I. went through. And then um the next day. at Skankfest, David came up to me and I. guess he had seen me deliver it and he. gave me a bag of oranges. >> Yeah. >> Oh, did he know you did stand up?

>> Yes, I I think so. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> He's one of the sweetest guys. He always. brings gifts for people, you know, like. when he goes to the seller, he brings. gifts for everybody in the world. That. was so nice. >> Have you ever done Skankfest now? >> Um no. So, you only interned and you. never even got to do it? >> No. They gave me five minutes though at. the end of it. I got one of those little. shows they let me do. >> Crushed. >> Oh, wow. Crushed. >> I don't think so. [laughter] It. >> was early. >> And Skankfest is like there's something. they want to hear. >> Yeah. >> And I'm not exactly like I don't know. >> That's not your thing. How'd you end up. interning? How did that even start?

>> Um, a friend of a friend I interned for. Impractical Jokers. I was a I I used to. hide the cameras. I used to stand in. front of the guy that has has the camera. and I used to wear all black and stand. in front of him. [laughter]. That's funny. >> Yeah. Yeah. Really? >> Yeah. Wow. In a in a park and you stand. there and then I did that for a couple. of times. I did the Impractive Joker's. thing and then um one of the ladies that. was a producer on Impractive Joker, she. knew the producers from Skankfest and. then she put us together and then I did. interning there. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> And look at you now, young man. >> Look at you now. Look. >> with Rudy. Rudy. >> with Rudy. Rudy.

>> Rudy Giuliani. >> Rudy, do you have any questions that you. want to ask Marcelo? Because this is the. time, man. He came all the way here for. you. >> True. >> Um. >> don't stall out. This is so crazy. You're [laughter] stalling out all day. She's like so excited to meet you and. then she's stalling now. Just say what. you need to say. >> I think you're upset that we don't eat. dog. I think we could still be friends. >> It's okay. >> Do you like po? >> You know, I've heard of it. I can't tell. you what it is. >> Oh, that's all my question. >> Okay. [laughter]. >> That's not your question.

>> That's all you want. Yeah. She does. research. >> She does research. >> She works hard on. >> I mean, there's so many other questions. you can ask. >> Yeah. Almost anything. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Are you Are you nervous in front of him? >> No. >> Oh, Carlos, you're not. >> You're not. >> I think you are because you're hamming. it up more than usual. >> Oo. >> Yeah. Way better. >> Yeah. >> Wait a minute. >> Are you really nervous a little bit? Be. honest. It's okay. He can't hear us. >> But because you knew who he was, right? >> You said it quieter. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Maybe a little bit. >> There we go.

>> That's fine. >> Now the door's open. Yeah. >> It's totally fine. >> Yeah. >> Do you like dogs? >> No. No. [laughter] No. You can't do the. dog again. >> Can't go to the dog again. She. >> I mean there's so many. Did you see. >> a pet? No. >> My mom has a little tiny dog. I like. >> Did you see Godzilla minus one? >> No. What's that? >> It's a movie. >> I I [snorts] can I can imagine that. >> Okay, good. Something you can ask. anything. >> You know what I mean? >> Do you like the wind? >> Huh? [laughter]. >> Do you like the wind? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Hate. >> You hate the wind? >> Yeah. It's one of my least favorite. elements. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> What's your hair like? >> What is it? Orange.

>> No. No. Like what's it like? The shape. >> It's short. [laughter]. >> Okay. >> It's a It's a nightmare right now. Yeah. I was expecting like a. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Oh, no. Oh, dude. I just took a shower. after the gym and came here. It's like a. >> Yeah. Bobby, dude. Bobby is good, man. >> Bob. >> 54. Still got it. >> 54. Still got it. >> It's really nice. >> Still got it. Thick. >> Really freaking good, man. >> Really good, man. [laughter]. >> I'm really good, dude. >> I'm sexy, dude. >> You have always been sexy. >> Sexy, dude. >> Even before you lost the weight, you. were sexy.

>> I have an idea. What? You guys do this. stuff all the time. Do Do me a favor. this new Bobby, skinny Bobby, kind of. like taking care of your body going out. there. Single Bobby, >> body. >> What do you do now? Now you would you. say you have a little bit more. confidence now out there? >> With women? >> Yeah, with women. No, no, no. Keep the. Can I Can you keep the hair for a. second? So you have a little more. confidence with the women. You would say. >> no. >> No. >> No. I mean, what do you mean? I always. have confidence better because you. >> I always have confidence. >> But you know you look better. >> What? >> You know you look better. >> Do you know what? I'll tell you. something. Okay, Marcelo. All right.

Right. I always shoot my shot. >> Yeah. Okay. And you know what? I'm not. Robin Hood. Sometimes the arrows miss. >> Can I see an example? [laughter]. >> Shoot your shot right now with Andrew. just so I can see. Give it to me. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Well, what's the scenario? >> I got you. You're at a bar, right? >> What kind of bar? >> I need specific. >> I have a better scenario. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> You just did a show at the store. Okay. There was a girl in the crowd that was. watching you. You liked it. She was. laughing. She liked your show. You like. her. You see her at the bar outside of. the. >> Okay. In the patio. >> In the patio. Yeah. >> And you walk out and you see her there.

and you make eye contact. >> and you walk over. >> Yeah. I walk over and I go, "Hey." I go, "Hey." I'll say something random. I'll. let it do it for real. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> You like the wind. >> What's up? >> What's up? >> I noticed you from across the room. >> Yeah. She's drunker than you thought. >> Yeah. What kind of jacket is that? >> All Saints. >> Oh, I love All Saints, man. I have two. One of them this I have a leather. jacket. I think that.

>> Are you Chinese? [laughter]. >> You're making me nervous, dude. >> Yeah, I'm making. >> Yeah, you're making me nervous. What do. you mean? >> OH, HOLD ON. LET ME DO IT AGAIN. I got. to wear the hat. >> Yeah. Yeah. You can come in. >> Yeah. Yeah. Come in. >> Hold on. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> I got to be real. But that's [laughter]. You're being weird. You're being weird. He's being weird. >> I'm drunk at the bar. I'm drunk at the. bar. I'm drunk at the bar. >> You're excited that he's coming over. You like his show? >> Oh, I like his show. >> Oh god. >> Yeah. Yeah. See that? I don't want that. I want to hit on that girl. >> I know. I know. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

>> Do it with me. Do it with me. Ready? >> I'll do it with you. >> I wouldn't [ __ ] you anyway. >> See, that's [laughter] what I'm saying. It's a [ __ ] dead end, dude. >> Yeah. It's a dead end. >> I like black guys. >> Yeah. Yeah. [laughter] There's no way, dude. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> I'm Korean. >> Yeah. >> Okay, you can flirt with Go ahead. >> I saw your show. >> Oh, you're doing it now. >> I saw your show. >> Oh, yeah. >> So funny. >> I didn't go up tonight. >> No, I've seen your show. your bad friend. show. >> I don't I have a podcast. >> How'd you know it was a podcast?

>> I did. [laughter]. >> She's good now. >> You got me. >> She's good now. >> I do have one. Thank you. >> Yeah, it's You're so funny on there. >> Thank you so much. What do you do? >> Um tech. >> Oh, I love tech. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Um you Nike has a new shoe. where you can strap it to your um calf. and it makes you run faster. >> Really? Do you have them? >> No, I'm gonna get one. You know, I love. tech. I like all kinds of tech. >> Yeah. In fact, I have two robots in my. bedroom. >> Really? >> Yeah. Yeah. >> What do they do? >> Uh, Emo, I can ask for the weather. And.

Emo goes, I go, "Good morning, Emo. Hello, mommy." I go, "What's the weather. like? It's going to be cloudy today.". You know what I mean? And then sometimes. you can shake him and he goes, "Whoa.". Right? Cuz he gets like, you know what I. mean? And then like And also at nights I. always have to say good night. >> Yeah. >> It's just a little robot. while I go. Good night, Emo. >> Good night. >> Do you know Marcelo? >> No. No. No. >> Could you introduce me to him? [laughter]. >> Marcelo who?

>> You know, >> Hernandez. >> Mhm. >> Bobby, at no point did you shoot your. shot with this woman? [laughter]. >> I. >> Look, look, I'll [ __ ] you if you. introduce me. >> No, no, Marcel, just come. Okay, let me. say something. Right. >> His shots are slow. >> Shot took a long time. >> It's a lot of arc. >> Yeah, I'm waiting for you to. >> It's not a. compliment. >> Why don't you hit on him and see what. happens? Yeah. >> Go ahead. >> No, no. Let me just say something. >> Oh, he's offended. >> I'm not offended. No, I'm not offended. I was a little offended by the by the. notes out there. >> It took a long time. >> I understand that. Right. Okay. What I'm.

saying? Right. Sometimes you open, right? It's a slow open. You do slow. He's a slow open. >> And it's a fast close. >> Oh, wow. >> Right. You slow you slow open fast. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right. So, what. I'm saying is is that I just showed you. a technique called slow open. >> Got it. >> Okay. It was. >> And kids like you don't understand that. move. >> You go straight up. You want to [ __ ] I. don't. >> you want me to hit on you? >> Yeah. Yeah. Go ahead. >> Okay. Ready? >> What? You Is it got to be me? >> Yeah. >> All right. >> Hey.

>> Oh my god. Hey. >> Hey. Wait. Um, are you on SNL? >> Yeah. You just you were you saw the show. inside. I did in the comedy store. >> Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You you're really. funny. I I went to the bathroom halfway. during it, but I came back and the clo. the last couple of jokes you did was. funny about your mom in the Puerto Rico. >> Well, thank you so much. It. >> was really good. The way you do your. accent. Dominican Republic. Cuba. >> Is it the same? >> No. Yeah, sure it is. [laughter] Yeah. >> Is it? >> You're funny, too. >> What? >> Yeah. I think you. >> Thank you. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. What's up? >> Nothing. I just wanted to come. >> You live in New York?

>> Yeah, I live in New York. >> Yeah. >> I just want to say hi to you. I saw you. Hi. I thought you were cute. >> Yeah. Thank you. Hello. >> Candace, let's get the [ __ ] out of here. >> Okay, let's go. Who's that guy? >> Hold on. Hold on. Candace, that's your. name. >> Yeah, I'm Candace. Why? >> Well, no, nothing. Owens. I was just. making sure you seen my podcast. >> OH MY GOD. [laughter]. UH-UH. You know, you know what? Now that. I Now that I think about. >> Good date. Good date. >> Good day. [laughter]. >> It was a good date. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> See, he But he closes with a smile. >> You know, >> he just flashes those. Look at those.

things. >> This thing, >> Marcelo. [ __ ] off. >> It's so different for You're young. You're on a show. >> You're You're on the rise. >> I'm a sinking ship. I'm the Titanic. >> Let me say something to you right now. Can I say something? You let me do. Bobby. Can I say something? Can I say. something? Can I say something? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to say I'm. going to say one thing. I'm going to say. one thing. I'm going to say one thing. And what I want to say is. >> Yeah. >> Um and I want to say one thing. Um. [laughter]. >> Bobby, >> yeah. >> When you think about it, right? >> What are women looking for? Someone.

that's successful, someone that's. working a lot, someone that's busy, and. someone that's taking care of. themselves. >> I think the criteria is. >> I think the criteria is different. Right. >> Two different worlds. >> Yeah. Now women are like they need to be. 6'2. >> No. Yeah, I've seen them at Tik Tok. >> True. >> Yeah. Yeah. I I get that and I get the. boiling horse head in my TikTok. [laughter] feed. Okay. All right. So, I. get two things, right? And then I, you. know, I mean, and they're like, I want. 6'2. They have to make 3 million a year. And their criteria is different. >> No, they're not. >> I'm 5'4. You know what I mean? I'm.

weird. >> I forgot you were 5'4. >> Yeah. Yeah. How tall are you, little. >> 5'8? >> Are you really 5'8? Yeah, >> but you're 54. 5'4, 54. It's a good. luck. Maybe that's good luck. >> That's good. >> Yeah, it's a good thing. >> How tall are you, Andrew? >> 61. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> And and he developed a personality. [laughter]. >> My personality is [ __ ]. >> No, yours is fantastic. He's not saying. it's. >> makes sense. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> He's not saying let me ask you. something. You don't think I have a. personality? >> It makes sense that you have a. personality. You're 5'4. >> Oh, that's what you're saying. You know. what I mean? >> Oh, yeah. So, he's 6'2 and he had to.

develop birth. >> Wait, the red head. >> The red head. >> Is that what happened? >> Red hair. Red hair. Where did you grow. up? They came at you for that. >> A little bit. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> A little bit. >> The Chicago projects. >> No. >> Yeah. Always in the projects. No. I was. in the projects. >> Oh. I always tell people that you were part. for the project. >> Why do you do that? >> What? [laughter]. >> It's like one of those stand and deliver. kind of, you know what I mean? You mean. like green? >> He was in the project. He rose. You know. what I mean? The story is better. >> Yeah, it is. I like the story. >> If you say from the suburbs, who give a. [ __ ] from the project? Yeah. From the.

project. Toughest toughest part. >> Yeah. I'm from the streets of Korea, dude. >> I'm from San Diego. >> I know. But I tell people Korea. >> San Diego. Busong, dude. Busang. >> Bus. Yeah. Yeah. During the war, dude. I. had nothing. >> He really did. And yet took a little. boat to America. Went to open mic and. here I am. >> They used to do open mics on the boat on. the way over. >> You would kill. >> Hello. >> Everybody. Everybody on. [laughter]. >> That's me doing stand up on a boat. >> I know. [laughter].

>> You got scared. I did an accent. No. >> Yeah. A little bit. >> Accents. >> I know you do. >> You do. You do. >> You do accents. >> I do. I do. I do. >> Spanish, too, huh? >> Yeah. Sometimes. Sometimes. >> you speak Spanish. What do you say in. Spanish? >> I can't. Well, I can't say it because. you'll know it. >> But say it. >> No, man. >> Have some fun, man. >> No, because our Latin audience has been. writing letters lately and they're. really upset. Yeah, they they're upset. Carlos knows and Fancy, they've been. writing a lot of letters. >> Just just about the way that we treat.

our our Latin employees. >> And we should say that the Latinos that. you're going to be fine and everything's. going to be okay and we love you here. >> They didn't write us letters. I was. joking around. Say something positive. about Latino. >> They say something positive. That's. actually Let's go around the room. >> I have many things I want to say. >> Let's go around the room. And And Rudy. should go first. >> Okay. Go. Go. What do Yeah. >> I love their food. I love their. language. >> You can't do more than one. You can't do. more. We all need to We all need some of. that. >> I love their noses. >> Very Their noses. >> Very good. >> Very good. >> We'll take it. Okay. Who's next for us? I'll go that way. Go ahead. Go ahead.

>> All right. You'll know what I mean when. I say it. You'll know what I mean. >> Okay. >> I have a dream too, Richie. >> Laba. >> [laughter]. >> Richie Val instead. >> Okay. You love Richie Val. >> I love him. >> That's nice. [laughter]. >> How you still Asian while you're doing? >> I do it in Japanese. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> It's like a Japanese Richie Valent.

>> Go ahead. >> Really good. >> Really good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He [laughter]. >> go ahead. Go ahead. >> Some of the most beautiful women I think. I've ever seen IN MY ENTIRE. >> OH MY GOD. HALLELUJAH. >> My biggest my biggest my first crush my. first crush was at an arcade and a uh a. Puerto Rican chick who was much older. than me was with like her little brother. who was near my age. And for the first. time in my life I I thought I don't know.

what this feeling is but I like that. thing. >> Wow. >> I don't know what it was. I was like, you know, when you were too young to. understand, but you were like, whatever. this is, I like that. >> Whatever that is. >> I love I loved what you said except when. you called her a thing. Did you feel. that way? >> No. No, [laughter]. >> not her. The idea. I didn't know what. you didn't understand what feelings are. You go, I like this. Whatever this. feeling is, I like that thing. That. feeling of like you. I like you. I don't. even know why that what that means. That's before when you didn't understand. girls and you were young and you were. like, I like it. >> It was just a feeling. >> Well, you can't even describe. It's like.

a I think do I and I want to and I. [laughter]. >> Well, no, you don't know how to feel. You're like, what is that? How to That's. why little kids hit each other cuz they. like each other. They don't know how to. feel. They're like They don't know how. to tell each other, "I like you." Say. pull a girl's hair cuz they're like, "I. [ __ ] like you so much.". >> God, [laughter]. >> that's your guy's crux. That's the crux. >> Bobby's addiction and your anger. [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> Dude, he does have rage. >> And he's strong. >> Yeah. Your strong has rage. >> Yeah. He's an athlete. >> Cast me. He's an athlete. What do you.

guys like about Latinos? >> Huh? >> I just watched El Mariachi. >> Okay. >> Robert Rodriguez did. >> But you didn't say you liked something. You said you watched a film. >> I loved it. >> El Mario was a great movie. >> I thought it was better than Desperado. >> Nah. >> Compared it to another Latin movie. Okay. >> Well, it was his other movie. >> All right, Richie. >> Yeah. Go ahead, Richie. >> Oh, well, I have a reoccurring. >> Whoa, that's your voice. [laughter]. >> WHAT? THAT'S ME. >> WOW, MAN. UM, I HAVE THIS reoccurring dream where. I have a Latino wife. Um, so I I feel.

like I'm searching for her. >> What's her name? >> What's her name, dude? >> I I don't know. >> Make it up. >> Marissa. And what happens in the dream. that How do you know she's Latin? >> Well, all right. So, I wake up and I'm. like in I'm definitely in Mexico. >> She's yelling at me first thing in the. morning. How do you know it's Mexico? >> No, it's just like the architecture. Like it just feels. >> Okay. You could be in Spain, though, too. >> Could be in Spain, but like somewhere. >> See how he's answering this? He's. skating around everything like careful. careful careful careful careful. >> Okay, so you're ahead. >> Somewhere I'm in Mexico. I'm like waking. up like my wife's like making bacon and. eggs and I'm like like great in the.

morning and then I like walk up and like. we have a little kiss. I'm like oh like. this is awesome. Like thank you for. making me breakfast. And then she's like. I'm pregnant. And I'm like oh my god. that's so awesome. >> And that's how you know she's Latino. She's pregnant and you just met her. You're racist Richard. This is like my. wife. It's like years in the future. It's a dream and she's making and then. you speak some Spanish to her. What do. you say? Hola. [laughter]. >> Mama Richie. >> So, you introduce yourself time. Extreme. >> Well, she's got she's got brain damage.

>> He has to do that to make sure she. remembers who he is. >> Okay. >> The idea is very funny that you were. married to this woman for a very long. time. She's making you bacon and eggs in. the morning. >> You probably have a pet chupacabra. >> You son of a No. >> A little baby chupacabra. And he's. every morning. Yeah. Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> I've never I don't know what chupacabra. sounds like, but I assume that's what. >> you have a you have a you have a pet you. have a pet baby chupacabra [laughter]. and then Rudy comes in and eats it. >> What about you, Carlos? Say something. nice about the Latinos if you don't. mind.

>> The Mexican hairless dog. >> He loves Mexican hairless dogs. One of. his favorite that he talks about it all. the time. Loves this dog. >> I want one. >> He wants one very. >> They all have a mohawk. >> Yeah. >> Wow. That is very cool. I've never seen. that before. >> Have you never seen a Mexican Harris? >> Great. And that's him. He's Yeah. See. that? It's a match. >> Reverse me. >> Whoa. >> Wow. >> Reverse you. >> Isn't that crazy? You never knew that. about him? >> Yeah. Yeah. >> My god, Carlos. [laughter]. >> Is that crazy? >> It is very crazy. >> It's crazy, right? I thought you the.

show, dude. >> No, I I DIDN'T SEE THAT. [laughter]. >> WOW, CARLOS. >> WOW. >> YEAH. >> WOW. No wonder you have that anger, Carlos. [laughter]. >> I'm not mad. >> Yes. >> I'm not mad. >> Yes. And you know what's funny? They. look down on you. [laughter]. >> They have hair, don't they? You know. what? You're a beautiful man. Don't let. anybody tell you. >> Listen, he's not wrong. You are a. beautiful man from the forehead down. >> Yeah. Yeah. Keep the hat on. Wild. >> Carlos, you're holding on. >> Yeah. >> You'd be a good-looking bald guy. Why. not just do it? >> I've been that. It just wasn't me.

>> When we years ago, he used to shave it. all off and then he started to do this. look again. But by the way, >> women love it. >> Women the success rate with this is. through the roof. >> Really? >> Yeah. Women love it. It's immediate. sympathy. [laughter]. Is that what I said? >> Your authentic self. >> You know what I think it is that they. like about that? That it is very unique. >> Like there's only so many men that were. willing to do that. >> No. And next to him, they're going to. look nine. [laughter]. >> Can we get you a toupe? I want one. Have. you ever had a toupe?

>> You would do it. >> Got me one. >> Oh, >> I think you look good. >> What if we did? What if we What if we. bought him a hair like bought him one of. those hair pieces that they glue on the. real got one? >> Oh, yeah. >> Yeah. Annie Letterman got me that. >> She got your real one, right? What? What. about the spray? >> I don't think the spray works. >> Steen, let's get a spray. >> That's a lot of spray. It's a full. [laughter]. >> would be good content, though, is if you. guys bought him a trip to Turkey and. made him film all of it. >> Yeah, it's a lot of turkey. >> Would you take that? >> I would go to Turkey. >> And we bought you hair.

>> and you have to film the whole thing. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. But that's a lot. That's a lot of. hair, man. That's not like a little bit. >> You think it's going to be too. expensive? [laughter]. >> Yeah. That's the money problem. >> $450,000. It's like the hairline would. be up here. Mine's like back here, >> right? Turn around real quick. >> But they still can DO OH MY GOD, DUDE. >> But he has a He has a great smile. He. has a great face. >> Yeah. I never seen the back though. That. back is wild. Turn around in the back. again. >> I have to people. >> Can you turn around in the back? >> Jeez. My god. >> That guy does creepy crime. >> I I know. But you know, you know what.

really is the land the land for him with. women truly is and I've heard this from. every woman ever that we've that we have. like mutual either friends or peers or. co-workers. They're all like Carlos is. such a sweet guy, >> right? >> Like he's so [ __ ] nice and M's. nodding off cuz he knows the truth. The. guy has a way with people and women the. way he's like disarming and sweet and. genuine. >> that that gets them, dude. Sometimes. that's all they need. And also a guy. that is willing to let his hair look.

like that. >> is very confident on the inside. >> He is a confident guy. >> Yeah, probably. >> And a guy like Richie on the other hand, uh, too confident for no reason. [laughter]. >> For no reason. >> Richie, what's under the hood there? Show. >> No, he's got a nice head of lettuce. >> Fine. >> Yeah. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> Well, now you look more like a lesbian. now for some reason. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Where did you get him? That's what he. does whenever he's. >> I know. >> Were you going to Lilithare? What's. going on? [laughter] He. >> Sarah Mlaughlin take it. >> He works as a he works at the other our.

other studio helping out and then he was. designated to come over here when Fancy. was gone and we kind of liked him. We. left him. We said, "You know what? Let. the kid keep coming by." Were you an. intern first over there? >> I wasn't an intern. I was a PA first. >> God, every time he talk I talking. [laughter]. >> Yeah, I know. >> It's. But you're not a Quinnipic kid. >> I am. >> Oh, you are? >> That was the first time I was here. >> That Oh, really? You were? We had these. guys come from college. They come over. and they did an intern thing. >> And can you sing? No. >> Can you just try? >> Yeah. Yes. >> Like just give him a song. >> Amazing Grace. It's a public domain.

song. Go ahead. >> Amazing. >> No. Commit to it. >> Sing yourself. Stop. Yeah. >> Sing your favorite song. >> Your favorite song. Sing it. >> It's Gu, right? What is it? >> Oh, I'm blanking on like every song. ever. Right now. [laughter]. >> Anything you got. >> We're singing a song. This is my song. What? >> Just do Pink Pony Club. That's what you. love. You love that [ __ ] song. >> Pink Pony Club. I'm just going to keep.

on dancing at the Pink Bunny Club. >> Is he doing a Mexican accent? Anybody. else feeling. [laughter]. bunny? [laughter]. >> I'm trying to do chaperon. >> Yeah. Chaperon. >> Chapperel. >> Chaperon. >> Chaperon. >> Yeah. He can't dance. He can't sing. >> I can dance. Come on. Come on. >> You can see here. >> No. No. Get your thing out. Go. [laughter].

I've come here. I've made all the white. people do something in front of me. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> All right. All right. >> Oh. Oh. >> Music. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. All right. >> Yeah. Rudy's right. I think he might. have a big penis. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> I don't know why he's keeping these. girls around. This is I I can't. >> What was the thing? >> It was so good. Rich, what size shoe are. you, Rich? >> 12 and a half. >> Yeah. Go back in the thing. [laughter]. Get away from me with that thing. >> Yeah. >> Get out of here. I might sue you. >> Yeah. Yeah. Real bad. >> Marcelo.

>> No. >> We want to say thank you for coming on. the show. >> Yeah. >> It always happens like this. The ending. It comes out of nowhere. >> No, it doesn't. You know why? >> You have a special, right? We. >> because we want to talk about the real. [ __ ]. >> Oh, okay. >> Your special's coming out. Yeah. >> January 7th. >> Yeah. >> It's called. >> American Boy. >> American Boy. >> And the irony of that is staggering. >> That's what it's for. >> Yeah. >> I know. I know. He's stepping on our. >> I've seen some of it. >> Not not the special, but I've seen some. >> stand up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Looks great. >> Thank you, man. >> Right. >> Um we're proud of you. >> Oh, man.

>> Yeah. >> He needed that, by the way. Used to say. that. >> I do. >> Uh. >> I look up to you guys. You got me. through the band. >> I know we did. >> God bless. >> Um you're on the rise. >> Congratulations. >> He's at the top. >> You're at the top. >> It's only down from here. >> It's only down from here. >> But if God forbid you ever go back down, >> right? >> Right. We'll be here. Well, you can't. come back here if you do go down, but we. will be we'll be around. >> We'll be around. We will say hi. >> We'll say hello. >> Yeah. Yeah. At a club or whatever. >> Everybody, please watch American Boy. So, it's out right now. >> Yeah. Check it out now. Please go. Whatever you're doing right now, watch.

it now. >> Thank you for being a bad friend. Yeah. Yeah.