Rudy's One Piece Birthday | Ep 194 | Bad Friends

merch you got merch and check this hat. out I've been wearing on stage have you. seen me look at this dude look at this. shirt this is the OG shirt the OG OG. design is back Y and also bad friends on. the back in the back the cute little. faces on the front bad friends on the. back go to badf friends merch.com we. also have coffee mugs for people that. like coffee and beautiful beanies and. and a couple different colors but go get. some OG merch we're releasing new stuff. as we go Bob and I are in a competition. to see who can design the best shirt but. for now you want the OG original stuff. happy Holidays happy holidays get this. for someone that you love go to badri. merch.com badf friends merch.com hey hey.

guys we're on tour we're going to go to. Minneapolis Minnesota we're Minnesota. what happened to Minnesota every day for. a summer every day for a summer. Minneapolis Minnesota then we go to. Madison Wisconsin to end this year. Madison Wisconsin and Minneapolis next. year we're bouncing around Atlantic City. Salt Lake City Tula Reno Sacramento Long. Beach Long Beach Snoop Dog Windsor. Ontario bro Windsor Ontario Canada then. we go to Niagara Falls Tucson and where. do we end 420 Las Vas Nevada got to come.

see us go to badri pod.com badri pod.com. you two are bad friends who are these. two idiots a white dude and an Asian. dude you two are. disgusting you two are something we're. bad friends. hey happy birthday birthday I'm. Zoro monkey. monkey is his name monkey monkey monkey. what get this on my head it's okay kiddo.

no help flip the hold on I be over no. you're fine so you do this and you put. there it is monkey L monkey dofy monkey. dofy monkey dofy monkeyy monkeyy monkeyy. monkeyy happy birthday look at a one. piece blanket for blanket for you are. you are you excited excited for yeah. it's the best yeah and look at we got. you a gift down there.

we have this we have the script for the. two piece one yeah yeah two piece and. three piece and it's going to be you're. one piece two piece three piece yeah can. you guys um like do your like famous. lines oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you. ready yeah do you know I practi practice. it right okay to the. window to the. walls till zoro's Got Big Balls oh these. one piece crawl oh that's not it.

Carlos that's what he sent me this is. what she he sent me I live on the. Treetops with my montgom reward pass. yeah is that not it what is what's my. famous the line what's my famous line. why you doesn't make any sense. Montgomery reward yeah that's why you. betrayed me what is the line I'm. supposed to say yeah what's the line so. you have three swords you do you attack. with three swords three is UN who holds. the third one my dick mouth I hold it in. my mouth uh I go sink. sink he say he's lying with the in the.

mouth I don't know Zoro says it what. Zoro says it what do Zoro says santorio. santor what does monkey man you say. G bazooka G. bazooko. Soro shut up dude I'm doing it yeah yeah. santorio.

gucha what was mine GMA G bazooka on G. bazooka go go ahead. sorio G. bazooka and your your hand like. stretches like really far cuz youw. rubber you got a big finger oh this my. finger or my hand any any okay right all. we'll do it again here ready you got to. make it serious we are he's serious. Santoro.

Booka if that's not it now clap for us. happy birthday Rudy Jules what did you. get in the bag there and how old are you. today 40 22 those lines in your face are. bad you do look old it's. N I don't believe you got this this is. from Andre no way that's from me and dud. we went to the [ __ ] [ __ ] we went to. the store yesterday we went to the. Little Tokyo Little Tokyo no yeah we did. yeah we did you Little Tokyo yesterday.

dude. s. bazooka this is the best what is it it's. naasa it's naasa that's great I remember. I picked that Naz no you did he picked. that first edition this is it's the. first one they printed isn't that. incredible thank you Andress okay dude. that's so ungr so disrespectful. disrespectful I know Andress got this. for okay can I also say this in the car. she goes you know.

I she goes I'm a loser I have no friends. she said you're not saying that I have. no friends and I go well you're friends. with Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino that's. not good enough pretty huge I would say. on I pretty [ __ ] huge dude and you. also. got where's GMA come on dude no but I. want to see the doll if I don't have a. oh wait wait when I do M you do have to. do I know. but bazooka another zor.

it's the best relax relax relax happy. birthday okay last there's no G G and. another yo yo yo yo yo dog where's the. GMA g i I thought You' want the Zoro. only not monkey why am I dressed like. this then Bobby Bobby we were the ones. that brought those gift I know I we left. the store I bought four of them we left. at the store the store we got to go get. it so how happy are you today 10 out of. 10 10 out of 10 good gift giving.

good and let me say this to you now. let's transition back into the show. enough of her nonsense can I so you're. pissed off at Carlos and because your. best friend Andrew okay can I say this. too so funny I don't we have to air this. you me yeah what you man what that. [ __ ] Zoom meeting you made me like a. fool you have another you made me look. like a fool why don't ever do that again. well for the and now they think I'm a.

[ __ ] [ __ ] for the fans so for the. fans know uh we are creating new merch. shirts uh my Edition and Bob's Edition. and we're going to see which one you. guys like the most and all we had to do. was call a zoom a 10-minute Zoom with. the mer merch company to pitch what we. wanted our editions to be our special. Edition and how did he mess that up. uhhuh what's wrong what's up what. happened what happened what do you mean. what happened on the zoom that you are. mad at him about he did it what did he. do he set it up and so why are you mad I.

wasn't. ready okay we've known about it for. weeks I told him for weeks I told him I. wasn't ready you told him you weren't. ready I told him I ready I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready right because you have to. do it I I'm not ready got it and then he. puts me in the zoom yeah and now they. think I'm an [ __ ] and I I know this. happened I know that after I was off you. had to apologize on my behalf like I. don't know I'm sorry guys right not at. all they're so used to work with. artists I don't like the way he just.

said that you know what he just said. they're so used to working with padas. padas yeah padana difficult difficult. people is that what you're saying that's. what he said I wasn't being difficult. you [ __ ] me and you put me in a. difficult situation you have another one. on Monday this coming Monday that's. tomorrow what time you at uh 100. p.m. I can't hear you that well when. you're not talking to M at at 1 p.m. it's in your calendar yeah you're going. to have to push it it I don't know it I. don't know anything it's the middle of. the night 1 p.m. but he shows a time.

yeah you're going to push it to Tuesday. okay honestly push it to I don't know. that don't get see that's hold on chill. chill chill oh. no Booka let me let me just can I just I. want to say this. okay okay I want to say this okay yes. don't act like I'm having the attitude. okay okay you're having the attitude. right all right I'm just being me I'm. not ready we're really taking it away. from her birthday happy birthday Happ. birth so listen um you're 22 two that's.

amazing you have no friends in America. you said mhm uhhuh you're um just. working. constantly who is that oh my god wow. sorry sorry sorry no you have to answer. you have to answer answer it it's Matas. answer answer it speaker. Matas. oh.

huh show us show us. Santoro okay bye mat bye she didn't want. to see us she didn't want to see us at. all she was so oh my God so upset we. have something else for oh [ __ ] it's. Jolly Be spaghetti Jolly Be spaghetti. happy birthday to you happy birthday. that's enough that's no no she doesn't. get the whole song that's insane okay. then you have to make a wish Mone good. job lighting uh seven of the 10.

candles make close your eyes hold on got. to make it no let her have the other. ones unlit that does that's a. symbolic what' you wish for nothing good. good well you got it and you got it let. her uh eat this spaghetti yeah you have. to manifest something man yeah you got. to manifest manifest something man why. don't you manifest a little bit of. friendship here in the United just close. your eyes right now and manifest. something okay try it again think we'll. all think together for you you.

okay okay okay what' you think friends. friends friends friends friends four of. them that's it friends friends friends. friends friends five that's good five. friends mhm that's great let's hope you. get a friend so it be like to show. Friends six people well five. now I'm sorry it was right there that. was so good dud I'm sorry it was right. there I'm I'm sorry it there yeah yeah. five five people and you know what what.

okay toal bazooka I got to take this off. it's it's [ __ ] no you have to leave it. on it's for her birthday I hate you're. the captain she loves the cat the hat. just move it back out of your eyes a. little bit there you go good yeah good. boy yeah yeah mhm okay wait wait what. kind of Captain what are you he's the. captain of his ship the Pirates how many. people are on the ship there's you Zoro.

Nami Sanji she saying five five or six. people. Chopper um Brook Frankie jimbe oh can. you handle that kind of responsibility. that's a lot of people on your ship No. but can I kick jimbe off. youim Jim really irresponsible so you're. the same wait wait wait wait wait what. Luffy the captain so the captain is. irresponsible Captain yeah he doesn't do. wait I thought I was the captain you are. you're Luffy I'm Luffy too mm your name. is Luffy you're monkey what's a monkey. park that's his name Luffy the Monkey D.

Luffy oh Monkey D Luffy my bad isn't. that it monkey du Luffy yeah yeah and so. no what I was saying is is that being a. captain of a eight-man ship doesn't seem. that important I don't know dude it's. double D tiger. bellw wow we got to turn off that guy's. mic I wow wow wow so here's the deal you. know what I'm not doing that [ __ ]. meeting thanks I'm not doing the meeting. thanks fancy yeah go ahead what's the. deal are you excited to eat your. spaghetti if your Jolly Be spaghetti. yeah and I even have the peach mango pie.

we we each got a peach mango pie from. Jolly be so so thank you to the boys a. very good birthday to Rudy Jules now in. effort to exercise your anger being your. best friend on planet Earth what I've. done is something very special look over. to your right at Carlos look over to. your right you look to the left that's. the funniest thing I've like there's a. mirror it because you know but there's. camera left right no I said look to your. right look to your right kiddo but yeah. I I've been on sets before so I just. went camera left okay go ahead so you. see that thing that Mone is holding in. his hand yeah this is great because you.

were upset at Carlos and I wanted to. make up for how angry you were at this. idiot and you wanted to fire him you. didn't want him back so I said you have. to make up for the fact that you guys. shocked him so that is a butt plug that. is remote. controlled he is going to put that in. his tush and at any time during the show. you're allowed to uh make it go off. number one I have to see it Go in yeah. duh and I have to first of all I need I. need the before it goes in I need it see. if the remote control works you can feel. it and test it Mone get over bring it. bring it over man here put on you know.

when I do when we do segments like this. it does remind me why I don't want. anybody to watch this show that I. respect family yeah I just can't have. anybody watch yeah so there's an app for. it there's an app and you can feel it uh. you go let me feel it and there's all. different Sensations but it feels good. though it's going to feel good to him I. don't think so okay that whole thing's. going in his butt oh yeah yeah yeah yeah. yeah oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah oh yeah. yeah that's good put on that's real good. put it up to the mic so they can hear it. when.

it yeah that's good he can move it. around too oh yeah yeah yeah can I just. can I just do something real quick no. just. yikes D I want one of these you can have. it when the day is done okay okay good. good good how does it charge you have. you can I have this okay great I have. the how funny is that when Bobby asks. for a brand new charged Vape he'll also. want this charged he like Carlos my butt. plug so um is it charged so let me b. over and put this in well I mean turn.

this off first it's on still on wait. Carlos don't you have to clean your butt. wait clean your. butt there's going to be pool yeah is it. off it's off wa wait what do you mean. that's he wants to go all the way you. want him to clean the actual tube yeah. inside no there's I don't think that's. how it works yeah B over want to see. going this part is for patreon. sorry and the honest truth is I wasn't.

really that mad about it yeah you. weren't even that mad about the thing so. was it worth putting a butt plug in him. that vibrates uh I don't think so. because I think it's deep down he he. likes it he's into it right this was a. way for him to just get us to pay for a. butt plug yeah yeah so that's really. what that was yeah what's the matter. happy birthday by the way happy birthday. that was another gift we gave that was. the gift yeah that was you didn't like. that gift you don't think that was gift. worthy I don't think I can eat my. spaghetti oh come on come. on I got to take it out put it says who.

why the captain. Soro bazooka. why I thought you g to be is I thought. it was going to be in the whole show Oh. I thought you g to vibrate though I. thought no no just keep it. in just keep it in D it feels good I. like the idea it's there a home it's. home I don't like it homeless okay it's. where it belongs [ __ ] hate this thing. just put on the strap on your chin there.

you. go okay this is for her birthday I know. you're right I'm doing it for her. birthday do you feel you feel like this. is everything you've ever wanted for. your birthday yeah this is the best so. you were saying that like the popular. kids in college don't like you no I'm. just saying I I don't think I I can like. relate like why in what way like what do. they talk about that you can't relate to. they're just like so like you know how. I'm always tired and I'm always so. sleepy and then them they're just.

like alive and they know like the trendy. things oh like give me a trendy thing. that they like shoes or what is it. what's trendy I don't know like right. now they went to um Camp fogna oh yeah. oh yeah yeah TI of the creators concert. I know that camp fogna and you and you. didn't go no why were you invited no cuz. I don't know any of the what I don't. know she know any of the artists any of. the performers oh like that I'm not cool.

like that I see okay but you're cool in. your own little way yeah you've got your. own cool things you like one piece yeah. like if one piece was in I would. go L [ __ ] what's it called Lake [ __ ]. flagna oh flna one piece is a cartoon L. [ __ ] no flna is what's Lake [ __ ]. Morango is what you're thinking no Lake. [ __ ] is something what are you talking. there's no Lake [ __ ] there's a lake. [ __ ] dude I've heard of Lake [ __ ] it's. a movie it's a movie Lake [ __ ] oh.

Australia okay it's a horror movie. yeah I might have to poop soon all right. you take it out no you you I think you. just think that way yeah just take it. out just take it out just take it out. well have Mone take it out with in the. bathroom and take it out yeah go take it. out okay this the last couple of podcast. been weird huh very is it us no well. this is very weird but this was fun but. you wanted payback to the guy he shocked. you know we thought you'd be shocking. him during the show with that m but I. gotta tell you he liked it way too much.

yeah go take it out dude I am I'm just. looking for some what's the matter uh oh. I don't know you co no it's just I keep. thinking of his poo yeah okay no I get. it I get it I get it yeah you are you. guys into anal stuff no no no no no no. no have you tried no my my counselor. says no no no you don't like that stuff. no no no you don't like that stuff my. PRI I go I don't like it and he goes oh. come on come on I I don't like it come.

on the holy spirit let them but cuz I. want to get into heaven. but I know that was disturbing but I do. want to see you eat that spaghetti. because it's delicious Jollibee. spaghetti okay so enjoy the spaghetti. for your birthday for your is it though. the spaghetti yeah they got it this. morning at 7: a.m. that's so fun enjoy yeah it's not. that bad it's a day old one day now is. is the is the spaghetti in America. different than the one in the. Philippines this one's like sweet. spaghetti that's like the thing in the. Philippines well they put sugar in the.

but but in America they don't put the. sugar I don't know the recipe but it's a. sweet spaghetti have you tried it no no. do you want to no thank you no thank you. definitely no thank you yeah um but is. the is the uh McDonald's different in um. the. Philippines I don't know I've never I. haven't tried McDonald's there in like. years are the McDonald's up in the trees. or they at ground level up in the trees. you got to go get it huh mhm that's why. probably that's why everyone stays. skinny that's too it takes too long also.

is Ronald McDonald's makeup just running. down because it's so humid. there is it is it is it sweaty Ronald. McDonald yeah he looks like the Joker. probably he does. yeah Ronald McDonald. Joker hit. [Laughter]. me insane insane oh the yeah the Batman.

in m in Philippines must be the big bat. it's just it's a gigantic bat. Batman right it's a bat Village yeah was. it good the spaghetti Jollibee really. good well happy happy 2 birthday Morgan. Morgan you guys I'm in a car acci I'm in. a car accident I'm hurt what do I turn. to Morgan and Morgan Dum Dum oh okay. well maybe I should have called Morgan. and Morgan the first time I got Morgan. Morgan is America's largest injury Law. Firm they have over a 100 offices.

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you're a part of the bad friend's family. all those years ago three years ago was. it now since the beginning almost four. almost four years four years we're. having our 200th episode amazing that's. going to come up in the new year and. surprise for the we've done 200 of these. we will be oh my God we're going to be. going to Vegas to celebrate for the. holidays we're going to do a holiday. party we're having a nice dinner can't. wait so listen here's can I say what I. want to say I mean never have. children why you laughing okay I I may.

never have children and um and I may and. even if that I may never have a daughter. but I think you've given me um a glimpse. into maybe what it might be like and. it's been um a [ __ ] disaster okay no. I know it's been it's been great I. watching you grow you're a hard worker. you're a nice kid and I love you so much. thank you what do you think about go I.

may never have. children and if I ever do get to have. one don't go raciel then I hope to God. she's not. brown no no I I I you a great uh young. lady now uh you're growing up on our. show which is crazy crazy you're an. adult and I hope the future is so bright. for you and I hope you get to stay in. America much longer longer because I. know when Trump gets back in again he is.

going to change around some of those. rules yeah he is going to probably. remove I mean the Philippines is. probably the first to go don't you think. yeah they gotta. go but I want to stay I know but just. Trump's rules baby you got to get behind. the tea you're gonna have to marry mcon. what's Mary mcon oh mcon who's mayor. mcon she said M mayor mcon well you. could marry mcon just for the Green Card. yeah for the green card to stay yeah can. I just hide you'd rather hide like Helen.

Keller like elen Gonzalez look what. happened to him they ended up finding. him was Helen Keller hiding what was the. what girl that was hiding was Helen. Keller hiding no Helen Keller was blind. and deaf you're talking about an Frank. an Frank an Frank she was hiding by the. way Helen Keller was deaf and blind. often she was hiding without knowing. him Helen K had no she was just hiding. all the time people just just just. didn't know I I I I I mixed the two up. how they're nothing alike they're girls. one of them is DEA and blind and the. other I know but they're both girls yeah. they're both ladies yeah okay that's. going to be you alen Gonzalez gonzale.

why you have alien Gonzalez up there. well she said she wanted to hide that's. what's going to happen if you hide from. the feds during the Trump era they're. going to come find you in all those. clothes is that too much you think I. don't know I just think that's a little. overboard why do they have the guns well. you never know what that kid's going to. do that elen Gonzalez that kid was he. was a he came over on a raft he could. have knives all over his body dude Zoro. has three knives you don't think Elon. could have multiple knives but he's not. illegal Santoro. G bazooka okay that's him today is that.

him now he's hot that's him now yeah. what did you say he's hot I said he's. hot D is the butt plug still. in I think he's a good-looking guy look. at that yeah he's a good- looking dude. pretty good looking guy but it's gross. that that's where you went to yeah I. mean I'm glad he's alive is he in Kuba. uh yeah he became a lawmaker there. apparently oh really that's pretty. actually smart he probably became famous. when he came up back he was very famous. very famous he was famous here we know. him should we get him on this podcast. that'd be great I would love to have him.

on this podcast oh no fancy doesn't like. that he doesn't like Cubans you don't. like Cubans you know how they the. Spanish they're so racist towards every. other Latin Community yeah he could. teach you how to float on those on a. raft yeah do you think he still got raft. skills I think D dude he went from Cuba. to here right that's so far that's so. far being a kid he's got skills dude I. mean how far is it from Cuba to to. Florida okay there you go 12 Days 12. days what would you need on 12 days on a. like raft yeah yeah I going see I would. probably get you know that the bottle.

water from aroan I need a couple of. those you need a $30 bottle of water yes. I do two of them smart right but they're. heavy yeah very heavy okay glass okay. yeah I'm willing so you think for 12. days you could two Vapes two Vapes how. many Vapes two like six six or six right. but you have to charge them before I go. yeah me I yeah you have to charge them. right sugar-free Red Bull for sure how. many a dozen 24 20 oh my God okay two. dozen okay great right what else would I. need I would need two a day that makes. sense Uncle Polly you got to have a.

sandwich a bunch of them you limit you. have limited limited weight though in. this thing you can't if you put too much. in there you know the ref well I'm not. going to bring my [ __ ] switch really. yeah I'm not bringing I'm not playing. stard do Valley out there dude really. what are you going to do what are you. doing all day all right I'll bring it. yes you are I'll bring my switch that's. the first thing I thought you I'll bring. my switch what else would I bring I have. to bring do you get internet out there. of course starlink dude thanks to Elon. oh really it's everywhere all right so I. can bring my iPad of course you can and.

a like a portable charger so I can jerk. off right right so I can still get on. the PornHub imagine that the the the the. Navy is is like we see him down there oh. my God we can't rescue him yet you're. give them one second one second one. second right I don't want to get rescued. imagine that like moment where I like. lose the the the switch in the. [Applause]. water what would you bring. uh water what kind it's very important.

Mountain Valley baby bottle my fave I. know but it's but you still see that's. what you made fun of me bought my bottle. yeah but yours is $30 mine's 30 for like. a two cases of them okay so you bring. two two two. bottles um I would bring uh I'm trying. to think food I think Pizza would last. the longest cuz Pizza you can eat it. warm or cold it doesn't matter sandwich. is going to be nasty when it's sitting. in the sun remember you're out in the. sun right shaking you that sandwich is. going to get nasty nasty now if you use.

Elvin bread Elin bread Elvin bread. elephant bread Elvin who's Elvin do you. remember when Frodo and Sam W gamji they. survived on Elvin bread for that's not. part of this world buddy for five months. dude and you know what Elvin bread too. when you eat it dude that's the bread. right it keeps you full for like days do. you turn into what he what he is a. good-look white dude yeah is that a. good-looking white dude Orlando. yeah Orlando Bloom not like that I don't.

think that's a hot version of Orlando. Bloom but you're just looking at the. [ __ ] ears anyway you're [ __ ] an. [ __ ] so just go back to what you're. going to. do water you water what pizza okay. that's it um probably I mean Mo to be. honest yeah I probably would bring a. flashlight oh bring your flashlight did. J off yeah but no porn no just use the. brain oh you your well you're out at Sea. you're probably disillusioned you're. probably going to see uh what is it.

called like mirages and stuff like that. oh so you may see like M to a mountain. or something well yeah like the the. clouds may be big huge boobs in I see. Caesar's Palace and you just yeah cuz. you know how some you're in Vegas I oh. we go walk to Caesar's Palace and then 3. days later you're still not there yeah. you don't never get there yeah how far. is Caesar's you're right four miles. those [ __ ] casinos are so [ __ ] far. dude they don't want you to leave baby. yeah yeah but you think it's anyway go. ahead so Pizza flashlight water water. what else um and then a pillow I want a. pillow I know what kind H my pillow yeah.

the my pillow yeah the m m m i Mike I. want Mike Lindell in the boat with me. yeah yeah yeah just screaming. out conspiracy theories yeah yeah yeah. yeah what's your favorite so far of Mike. lindell's of his conspiracy. theories um I the Hugo s Chavez is that. one of them like like Argentina and all. these other countries have something to. do with I like Michelle Obama's man. that's my favorite do you not know this. I know that Michael Obama you don't know.

about this no this is so good what do. you mean he there's a lot of these guys. that believe in this that Michelle. Obama's just a dude it's so [ __ ]. [ __ ] up it's so [ __ ] funny to me. it's funny so funny it's so funny yeah. yeah they believe in it deeply yeah. they're like show me a picture of her. pregnant and they have pictures of her. uh they have pictures of her like. walking and they have like an outline. that they say is a penis it's so funny. dude but it's mean it's mean spirited I. know I know but it's a conspiracy theory. yeah. like let me ask you something Melania. Trump or Michelle Obama Melania Trump.

racist that's not why you piece of [ __ ]. no I just like cold Eastern Europeans. yeah you're right they're cold like. after you hook up with her she's like no. cuddle no no cuddle she barely wants to. touch you that's great that's amazing. when she's done she Michelle's just like. come here baby m Michelle wants to have. a. conversation come here baby come here. baby Michelle's Michelle's an intellect. she would want to converse with you. don't you want that no Fu what what what. get out of here oh so Michelle Obama.

seems like the person like if you're. [ __ ] playing your PlayStation two. days in she goes give me that and throws. it off the [ __ ] balcony yeah yeah. Melania doesn't give a [ __ ] she's not. even there she's not there she does know. what it is as soon as you guys are done. having sex she's just like I go now yeah. yeah yeah and you're like no no no you. don't have to she's like I want to yeah. you making me sick oh my God she's. pretty hot how hot is that if she said. that to you right right right after you. have sex yeah you making me sick oh my I. would go let's [ __ ] again. I just reloaded but what about okay.

Melania or vonka. Vanka why for sure why I don't know I. don't know what it is me too me too me. too she testifies. well she's in the pocket she's cool she. does all right Lauren bobert the girl. who oh yeah I know Lauren yeah yeah. Colorado or. AOC in what in what way though to date. oh to date yeah this is your girlfriend. now aocc to date really yeah one night. stand no chance B she's so much more fun.

I'd want to date her she's a Luna it's. embarrassing it's awesome I love. Hamilton you're going to get kicked out. with. her first of all you of all people. you're not staying through a whole play. you know how great that is she causes a. scene you get kicked out it's great but. it's embarrassing it's like you no I I. want to don't Vape. now she's Vape don't Vape now you're. vaping too not in the show of Hamilton. yes you would if you could get away with. it you would you'd vape and blow it in. your shirt yeah I've been with you in. places where they tell us not to vape I. got kicked out of Ellen John do you guys. know that for Vaping no I was drunk what.

would did you just yell gay or something. in the middle of a song he's like no. this is your song I'm G to I'm going to. say what I did. gay I spent. $850 on the front row in Vegas and they. kicked you out and I was so drunk and he. just stood behind this [ __ ] piano out. five songs and I just go this is so. boring I go dance you yell dance at. Elton John yeah because he was standing.

sitting behind the panel he's old yeah. you want to see an old guy gec back in. the 70s remember he was. like moving his [ __ ] legs over there. the [ __ ]. trador right and like he didn't do any. of that man he was just like K house so. I go dance then they pulled me out of. the [ __ ] place and then the um you. know the talent ADI he slapped me you. got physically assaulted by El John's. Talent coordinator tent Talent guy right. he slapped me how dare you well he's. right how dare you well move your legs.

he Elton John's. paralyzed you don't know that that's. what the Crocodile Rock is about you. know his legs dragg behind him but I. love him Elton John and then years later. I got invited to his birthday party I. never went because of that like he would. he would have never remembered imagine. you walk into to a birthday party and. Elton John is like telling the story. he's like well that night we and sees. you all right and he goes dance. dance would you dance for him yeah I. would dance better than he did well he.

didn't dance at all so anything exactly. all right anyway so let's go back to the. float all right so I want water Pizza a. Fleshlight yeah and. honestly I need music but I don't know. but I I don't know what I would do make. your own okay so I'd bring in ukulele I. don't know how to do ukulele okay I'd. bring a hang drum but aren't you going. to attract like shark yeah they love. music yeah I'm a shark yeah is that.

music yeah that's what I meant Oh I. better go see what's going on there do. you think that's what sharks do I don't. know they're just going to hear it and. they're going to be curious all right me. and you are sharks and we're swimming. we're like hey Marcus yeah Tad do you. hear that up there not not really oh is. that a ukulele uhhuh let's go check it. out check it out oh my God it's a. redheaded guy playing the. ukulele and what's on his penis what's. that Contraption I think they call that. the Flesh Light you know how we [ __ ].

Dolphins imagine if you got eaten by a. shark while you were jerking off oh. that'd be terrible like the moment you. don't stop you're just like what are you. going to do did they like C or no oh. yeah look at F you shark like blood or. come more probably blood probably. both I think I think I'd bring as. minimal stuff as I could I would just. bring a little bit of food water and. then something from music to keep myself. occupied yeah light what would you bring.

one of those butts one of those little. butts you could have sex with yeah. because I've never done that before so I. was just thinking I can't believe none. of us could last 12 days without doing. without sexual stuff yeah well you how. about not a butt but kill two birds with. one stone make the flotation device a. gigantic butt whoa that's a good idea. right so just you know create something. kill two birds with one stone is what. I'm saying all right I was just bring. yeah xana ax and a and would make a sex. toy out of my raft easy easy yeah do SW.

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delicious thing I've ever done it's. incredible so wild all you have to do. yeah is you get these pod packs right. and then you clip it on you take it out. and then you clip it on to onto the. water bottle no matter what flavor you. want vanilla Orange Swirl they got mango. passion fruit and you clip it on you put. your regular water in here and by. breathing in yeah and sucking your brain. thinks you're drinking flavored water. but it's just the the nose the sniffer. your sniffers smelling this it literally. tastes like a berry kind of a drink it's.

delicious and it's just water it's just. water and it's your nose is doing it and. it's incredible honestly this might be. one of the most uh easy cool new. inventions I think I've ever seen it. makes me mad I didn't think of something. like this yeah uh honestly because I. hate drinking regular water it's. annoying I always want flavors or. whatever but I'm afraid of sugars and. all this stuff you're not getting. anything other than a good sniff in your. nose and drinking delicious water. incredible I really like this this is. genuinely fun this and also during the. holidays this is a cool gift that's a. really good gift that's a great stock.

you have this and then you just have. this and boom and there's so many. flavors of PODS there's so many flavors. of PODS yeah give me some of the flavors. here do mango they have let me try. different one yeah try orange Vanilla. swirl this one's this one I like the. most I have that one at home sorry my. bad this is got to be a totally new way. to experience water that's not even. flavored it's just flavored in your nose. you're using air up elevator the. experience of drinking your regular. water I love this man and I love all the.

different kinds that they come with oh. you like that one this is better than. this one no they're both good but wow. gift with taste this holiday season with. air up click on the link in the. description or go to air up. link badf. friends to save up to 40% today during. the last day of air Up's biggest sale. ever that's air up. link badf friends to. save up to 40% today mhm have you taken. up any sort of like uh now that now. because of the baby are you doing. anything that you weren't doing before. you smoking you secretly sneaking off. and having a cigarette no I'm just not.

sleeping that's it that's it are you. eating bad yes did you gain some weight. yes what's your little bad boy snack. that you have because the baby's keeping. you up I will eat anything you'll eat. everything that's around exactly. Meanwhile your wife is still skinny and. gorgeous and beautiful you didn't have. the baby you know that right it's I this. is an American theme but like the baby. weight goes both ways oh you think. because you're an American now you're. allowed to get right out of shape but. your wife maintains a good shape she's. in great shape right she yeah she. exercises and eats healthy right so you. think because you're now an American.

citizen you're allowed to be fat right. it's your right to be a fat slob yeah. while she works her ass off yes wow I. thought that was I worked so hard for. right that's why you took that test. right how old is your baby nine months. is it recognition now or no yes like she. she look at oh there's a por yes she. does that how often do you have to. update her do you have to do like an. update on I mean do you is she connected. to Wi-Fi every day yeah to put but she. knows who you are yes oh that's cool did.

she go. ta I'm I'm talking to her in Spanish. only so no Dada what do you say what is. papy oh my God that's so gross that's. worse than. Daddy hi puppy hi puy puppy. julo so poppy is so what does she call. your your wife mama mama mama puy mama. go home today the baby's going to look. at you and go poppy yes oh that's so.

cute no it's not it's gross poppy is. what that's what that's what like I mean. if she went to say it like you said it. then I would change she's going to Poppy. hi Poppy I don't like Poppy I disagree. with this is the same thing with me and. Daddy I don't like Daddy I don't like. Daddy yeah I don't like when little. girls and their dads it's like Daddy. just say Dad d da d da is good d da fun. or pop or pop. po poy is Poppy I don't like it you're. only teaching her only talking to her in. Spanish only yeah and your wife is not. though no she's speaking to her in.

English so hopefully she's going to get. bilingual hopefully wow what a superstar. she might turn out to be yeah isn't that. incredible yeah it's a good one and has. your fames met your baby yet yeah Oh. that's oh when you went to um Spain you. brought the baby mhm oh that's cool. coach coach yeah where' you put the baby. in the overhead yeah in the suitcase sir. you have to put your baby in the. overhead do you buy three seats with the. baby too or no oh they sit in the lap. the baby gets to sit in the lap you and.

your wife are sitting together she has a. little bassinet that goes in the plane. okay do you do you and your wife like to. sit together or do you like to sit. separate together you sit together yeah. I'd buy three seats one at the ends and. the baby in the middle the baby goes on. your lap though yeah but sometimes you. want to you know I mean put it down yeah. that's expensive just to buy a seat you. buy three uh first class itats no if I. was going to sit couch I would do is. that more expensive or I mean it's. expensive just buy bu a seat okay my bad. I mean I don't know make it more. comfortable for you that's all thank you.

well do you want to buy his next trip to. Spain no I've never met the baby if I. meet the baby you you willon never. interj me the baby how about this if you. get if you meet the baby will you pay. for his next trip to Spain yeah I met. George's baby and he cried well right. I'm a scared you are a little. shocking what what do you mean you're. scared for him to meet the baby yeah wow. well n would you would you who would you. trust more to babysit your baby and R me. well this is. Andrew oh my God didn't even. stall can may I explore this please it's.

obvious yeah pretty. much what is it what's the obvious part. no I'm good I'm good honestly no listen. I've had a negative attitude today and I. I I I got into a little slump but dude. I'm I'm I'm open to hear anything right. now and I really am not going to be. argumentative I want to learn okay so. may I ask you oh I'll give you an. example give me an example okay you. wanted to have the dogs for one night.

one night only yeah yeah and what and. then what happened the dogs were taken. care of no no what happened there there. was diarrhea all over the house dogs. poop no no no diarrhea dogs don't just. diarrhea all over the house my dog poops. outside okay and you and you texted me. 8:00 a.m. to say get them. already like you wanted them gone a. dog's not a. baby yeah it's it's it's easier than a.

baby may I ask you another question. please I'm open okay I feel. great thanks. for the other question I want to ask you. is I have three cats do they seem fine. self-sufficient you don't have to do. anything with cat what do they seem fine. well they got. skinny and they seem more afraid. so they seem more afraid MH are you. going to make me mad right now I'm just. so I'm I'm fine. I feel great I feel happy birthday happy. birthday happy birthday you.

why well my UI brief experience with you. and babies they just get riled up and. cry you've never seen him with a baby. yeah yes I just I'm not saying his I if. he wasn't with his wife alone yeah for. 24 hours he met my baby my baby was so. happy yeah you met his baby how we had a. little gut together right a baby thing. baby thing baby thing I wasn't invited. to the baby thing it's just because.

you're not good with babies you're not. good with babies God everyone's going to. so M so many other other sometime you're. just triggering me man every [ __ ]. corner it's you would come to the baby. thing even if you were invited you. wouldn't come to the baby thing right. okay would you have gone I'm sorry let. me ask you something well then Andrew. okay we're doing it again tomorrow do. you want okay yeah I'll be there let let. me I'm sorry Andrew let me ask you. something let me ask you something. Andrew all right you you invited me to. your party was I not did I not show up. party is different than a baby I show up. to everything people invite me to.

there's no babies at my party his his. baby thing is not a party like a Baby. Bash or it's just a hang out it's just. to meet the baby or a shower what a. shower shower okay ready I'm calling you. right now all right hello hey Bob I'm. going to go to this meet Fancy's baby. playing Starfield okay so you don't want. to go what's going on we're just going. to meet the baby and say Hi and then. leave what baby's baby it's 9 months old. who's that the guy who works on our show. oh yeah okay he has a baby yeah but are. you busy playing Starfield just said all. right man I'll talk to you later bye see.

that's what I mean you wouldn't go to. the baby. thing that's true yeah you're not going. to go to the you're right you're right. you're right right so so it's based on. evidence that's fine everyone spoke. their minds can I make you feel a little. bit better because I love you so much as. my best friend on Earth who would you. trust the least with the baby in the. room I mean the any of these yeah yeah. yeah yeah yeah I mean you're way so I. beat these two of course of course why. these don't qualify this wait a minute. time out time out you asked why yeah we.

made that guy put a butt plug in his. butt and you yeah that's why true I've. had multiple abortions though so like I. was there I could have I could be a dad. right now no that qualif what no what. that's your logic that's your logic for. why you'd be good with babies because. you got rid of them you kill them yeah. but responsible you're a baby kill what. you got rid of them you who knows how. good you'd be with them you got rid of. them it's responsible to get rid of them. if you're not ready though. ah for you so that's why I keep them a. little away from you yeah you might he.

doesn't want you to kill his baby but if. it was a competition you would want to. pick me cuz I always want to win yes. that's true okay so if there was a baby. competition I think the baby would be. stoked with me would you be better than. the merch competition or or. worse before I choose I need to know. that's good i' be better with the baby. okay they don't chose you okay thank you. that's going to be your merch by the way. it's just a picture of andreas' baby.

yeah I'll be with the baby okay let me. say something I bet you'd be you're I. don't care whatever no no you're good. with I'm irresponsible no you're not. you're good with kids the you're good. with kids thank you we know you're good. with kids I love him this dude right. here yeah and I'm not a man you I and I. understand why he how do you know this. guy this guy's all over the Internet. he's my favorite guy he's blowing up. right now because of uh he gets because. Manu is not playing great so he he gets. devastated he's the best we got tagged.

in this a thousand times people said it. was it was you in like another Universe. right yeah yeah he's so funny this guy. go ahead. [Music]. what he's the best. are you telling me that's not.

you yeah I like that his Cher said XL on. it let you know also smart of him did. not have a lot of breakable [ __ ] in his. room yeah but do you know why he likes. Manu um I don't know I know why why I. don't know the is there a Korean player.

on the team there there was a. legend on their team when Beckham played. yeah his name is Jung Park Jung Park and. he was a regular Alex Ferguson's menu. uhuh and this guy was so good he's like. a busy B what do you mean he's just all. over the field he has Asian work iic. nonstop yeah I mean he's nine jobs when. the game is over he's still playing he's. running I mean if you see on the map. where he is everywhere he is a hero say. his name Jung Park look that up Jung.

Park I want to see this guy this dude. was a beast dude Park jiung yeah so this. guy just the just the king of the pitch. the king dude King of the pitch and he's. the Koreans probably went because at. that time there were not any Korean. players now you have son and you have. the guy from wolves um but back then. they were like and this guy was a stared. I explain something to me I'm being. genuine not being I'm I'm ignorant if. you're say looks like a chimpanzee I'm.

gonna I'm going to go out of my. mind. Santoro yeah yeah wait a minute why why. is it when it's this in of sports I'm. being honest I'm dumb heart G sung but. on the back of his jersey would say Park. why would it say his first name because. it's in. Reverse they say the last name first in. Korea but on that thing his name is. what's his name his name is Jun park. that's why I said Jun Park in America it. would be J Park in Korea it's Park ji. why did they do that because the last. name is first why would the last name be.

first it's last it says last it's a. first name there your last name is your. first name yeah well how does this make. I'm Lee Young. Bobby I'm Lee Young Bobby in Korea dud. you're Santino Andrew I'm Santino James. Andrew yeah you're Santino James why why. I don't understand this I never that's. the way we do it but I don't get it what. is it mean I don't know why does the. rest of the world not do I don't. question it just do it let's question it. what it makes no [ __ ] sense did they. do that in the Philippines no no yeah. yeah why is it like that like for.

example the name Kim minu Kim is the. family name the family name of surname. is in. inherited the use of personal names is. Guided by a strict system of honorifics. so it seems like it's rude it's rude to. refer to a stranger or person higher. Social Status by their personal name. perceived gender and names is less. consistent than in western names that. doesn't make any [ __ ] sense yeah yeah. I'm an aristocrat you're not at all I am. you're a kid from Powe way yeah hi hi P. High P High yeah I just don't understand.

this I think they're just like hiding. the personal name last like every what's. personal about a first name that the. least personal I think the last name is. more personal I think to them it's. because the last name is where your is. your family route like if I'm in Korea. with you and I go hey Andrew you you if. you're Korean You' be like no call me. Santino I don't know you well they call. me Santino here but that's out of term. of endearment but I wouldn't say that in. a formal sense of like my name on my. jersey wouldn't say Andrew it would say. Santino yeah and in in America I mean in. England J soon Park they said park on. the back I know but you're saying but.

when you're referring to why are you so. angry about it because I don't like the. way you guys do things I'm not I'm an. American I don't know you call the. Embassy and fix it okay thank you I'll. call them what's this this is when. something goes Ary this is so you know. the the Vikings and the the Vikings and. the uh the Packers are not a fan of the. Chicago Bears I know and these two guys. they found common ground and disliking a. Bears fan that they saw in the park. parking lot okay this is a packer and a. we have some common ground we have some. common ground we got to start.

talking hi how you doing nice to meet. you go Bears go Bears goar yes yes. sir have a good day all right man yeah. they backed right. off they thought they were going to go. talk [ __ ] to that guy and what they. walked over we had Down syndrome they. were both like okay never mind we can't. say anything to this guy oh Oh no you're. not a real [ __ ] Packer andan yeah you. should have lit him up what would you. have said if you saw a Tottenham fan.

imagine imagine if you go I'm a. Tottenham fan you say and my back is. turned and you tap on my shoulder and. you've wearing an AR hey [ __ ] what's. up. hey you. [ __ ] why. you it has nothing to do with the teams. because if he said uh dingdong I go yeah. that's right you're a. ding-dong in that why did they commit.

they got scared what would you say what. are you gonna [ __ ] say to that guy. hey [ __ ] the Bears yeah the kid with is. gonna be like why are you so. mean oh yeah but they should have even. known that he had it in the first place. how do they know it's just backward turn. a [ __ ] Bears [ __ ] he's the only. one wearing it no no no there were other. people there were other fans oh there. were okay no but I mean how would they. know you're right how would they know. yeah you're assuming that every Bears. fan is has Down syndrome and I got to.

tell you you're not too far off as a. Bears fan yeah you're probably right. what's a ding-dong who's great it's what. they do no but do you not understand. what he do you not see what he was doing. there he shook the hand of the Vikings. fan right oh let me let me guess let's. St St stop yeah do you not understand. what happened here racism yeah he's. racist he just called the black guy. dingdong yeah that's right and that in a. street term in the Down Syndrome. Community ding-dong is the n n word. you're. right yeah cuz that was a hard dong yeah. it was hard hard G that was a hard ding.

dong yeah hard G wao dude well so what. do we got to we got to cancel this guy. yeah let's cancel this guy well that's. [ __ ] crazy wouldn't shake his hand no. or can I just say this though let me see. no no let me explore this righte maybe. he was rapping ding he wanted him to. kick off a yeah ding how about somehow. more somehow more racist he was kind of. doing it that's more racist he starts. rapping to the black guy right no. because he wants to be cool so he.

doesn't know what to say he's like oh. it's my first time FR of a black I like. what's up ding dong I get it yeah I get. that dude I've just that's just Pro by. by the way that just Pro the building. was good Bill b me so so funny he. doesn't know who that is yo do that. thing do. that that is the rapper. designer I know what time it is swag. that's not Bill b that's designer say.

say hello to the Chinese fan right yo. much love man shout out to all my. Chinese fans y know what time it is we. in the building BTS man Mike drop we. about to drop it real soon shout out. Steve O key y know what time it is we. out here we making the moves man across. the world I know how we rocking hello in. China is niow miow you. dig what's miow the Asian girl was. dancing thinking he was rapping when he. was just simply talking that show it. again that's. hilarious she was just she just this.

whole thing is. embarrassing say say say hello to the. Chinese fan right here hey yo much love. man shout out to all my Chinese fans. know what time. ints okay St damn that is insane dude. she starts Dan she thinks he's raing. shepping he's just talking that's so I. to see that again no that's hilarious. yeah okay. here but he is doing hello in is he.

speak he is speaking Rhythm yeah are you. taking her. side yeah all right you're right that is. crazy oh my God it's like two cultures. that shouldn't like mix it nowhere near. each other and yet they have so much in. common what well they both love uh kung. fu movies that's that's good yeah yeah. love Kung Fu anime. that's good black people love anime yeah. yeah uh break. dancing yeah okay break dancing yeah can.

I can I share what I've been mourning. this week oh my God is everything okay. it's about Harry Styles's hair he died. no what happened he's bald now what do. you mean he's bald he shaved his head. yeah let me see Harry Styles shaved his. head another Carlos this is tragic. tragic for you that what's wrong with. that yeah that looks cool that's cool. you don't like that at all no he'll grow. it back no what if he can't grow it back.

look at he's balding here already yeah. he's balding a little bit so you're. saying this is it for him huh yeah and. everyone's like mourning about it cuz he. had like such luscious C he's so hot. though huh I don't know the butterfly. tattoos don't do it for me what that. would distract me the whole time I would. lick. it I'd want to know what they are like. what is that a monarch I'd want to know. what kind it is he's hot though look at. him not for me that's not my style he's. so so hot I'm sorry about Harry Styles I. think his hair will grow back and it'll. be just fine okay yeah i' I've also.

discovered something go ahead so you. know how you and I think that I'm a bit. slow M and like a little bit r word yeah. so I so I discovered you know I thought. my mom just was just smoking. weed the whole like her pregnancy. teenage year to like 20 something yeah. and then it's called shabo and then when.

I asked my mom oh what's what did you. use again and she said oh I've I used. meth yeah so we all knew that no we all. didn't your I discovered I'm a meth baby. you are yeah you were a meth baby. because cuz what what kila's Dad did is. huge yeah it's great what kila's Dad did. was she she had a remember Locker she. her head and then lock her in a house. tied her to a [ __ ] radiator for a. month and she's got off meth I always.

thought it was weak what's what that's. how you do it in the old days. transporting Style just tied her to a. radiator and said no more MTH fed. her. could could you go to to the bathroom. yeah you have to ask radi the radiators. by the bathroom oh okay that's fine yeah. not radiator but they they locked her in. that room so your mom smoked meth the. whole time you were yeah I don't know I. asked her like how long did you stop.

before you had me and she said oh like 2. years three years that doesn't make any. sense I I think that's a cover up yeah. and help is available call. 18006624357. if you have meth problems please. 18006624357 call today do not smoke meth. when you're pregnant uh that's crazy. it's called what shabo shabo is what. they call meth in the Philipp M sounds. more fun like how how do you use math. because from what two ways you snort it.

or you smoke it well I've only smoked it. but people do snort it from what I saw. like in my Village they use like a. plastic yeah that's cuz they can't. afford the the real pip pipes good pipes. don't make their way down there by ages. one and two Toddler Show delayed motor. development preschool and school age. children had subtle but significant. attention impairments and were more. likely to have cognitive behavioral. issues in school including liking anime. like one piece wow in the. article that's what it says right there. meth baby like one piece but a lot of. the meth is from North.

Korea no yeah most meth doesn't come. from North Korea no the meth that. Philippines get well yeah yeah yeah yeah. they make meth in North Korea and then. they there's ports in Philippines ends. up there that's crystal meth is is is uh. North Korea's trendiest Lunar New Year. gift to the rest of Asia yeah where do. you think our meth come from the stuff. that we get Bakersfield yeah mid Midland. California the desert that's terrible. man I'm sorry that you're a meth baby. yeah so what's your new name on this.

show meth baby meth baby methab there's. our little meth baby over there well I'm. sorry meth baby but we're happy that. you're here with us how about that and. now you're a meth grownup and you're 22. thank you Tito Andrew thank you Tito Bob. thank you everyone for giving me the. best gifts thank you and thank you for. being a bad friend there you. go. woo.

wo. woo. wo.