Rudy's 21st Birthday feat. Matt Braunger | Ep 143 | Bad Friends
two are bad friends who are these two. idiots. [Music]. or something we're bad friends one two. three Happy Bird. [Music]. yeah.
we don't wash the feet we don't wash the. feet we like duck egg we like crime the. tree we climbed the tree. [Laughter]. we don't have paved roads hey you know. hey bro hey how do we get anywhere by. boats anywhere potent donkey. is that a happy birthday happy birthday. that's your birthday that's your. birthday do you want us to do it again. yeah. [Laughter].
happy birthday to the Rudy Jewels 21st. birthday yeah. now you can go to any nightclub that you. want you can drink all the alcohol that. you want strip clubs strip club you can. stay out as late as you want are there. strip clubs in the Philippines yeah but. oh did you hear that I heard that cough. in the mic. dude that's like covet and monkey pox. together. it's like a combo bird flu it's got all. of it yeah it's got everything bird flu.
mad cow yeah it's got all that [ __ ] in. there Rudy introduce our our other. esteemed guest on the show today. um this is my younger sister Isabella. hello who also showed up sick yeah yeah. uh they're both she got off the plane. sick cool cool that's cool International. sickness that's always good. is he on the plane. were you sick on the plane or when you I.
only had a sore throat yeah that's how. it begins yeah it starts there and then. what happened and then like. like there I got off the plane the plant. got um. I got a cold oh I see I see and then how. long you've been in America so far yeah. yeah and you still have it yeah yeah. yeah right on that's always good yeah. yeah she's like it was just a cold then. I was vomiting and my temperature was. 126. I blacked out for two days but. great to be here my mucus had blood in.
it right and a part of chunks of my lung. inside the mucus. how old are you how old is she I am 14. so we've seen pictures of you on the. internet when you met with fancy uh on. the boat that's racist yeah yeah I just. see them I think both I understand that. what kind of boat. what kind of boat though yeah you know. it's an engine no no there's no these. are their engines. [Laughter]. it's good to see you it's good to meet.
you yeah big fans over here we're big. fans of you do you know that 14 years. old holy [ __ ] is this show okay it's. okay yeah yeah for her to hear this. stuff well yeah so it's funny because. when I went to the Philippines five or. six weeks ago I hung out with Izzy a lot. yeah and I literally realized that she's. more grown up than Jewels she also has. more to say right and she has points of. views and opinions and I realize that. Jules is not a great older sister I. think that she's a little bit what do. you mean there it is that's it that.
doesn't prove it that's handicapped yeah. what that's mentally the same. by the way you're going through your. gift yeah yeah we haven't even done that. yet I want to open it open it fine do it. then Jesus Christ what'd you get okay. let me read the letter first please did. I sign it I don't remember signing it. you did not sign the card we all got a. card from. Andres Pete and Tito Andrew from Pete. happy 21st birthday stop. don't stop stop for a second.
you didn't put my name in there. I forgot. I didn't forget. okay you forgot my birthday and and you. didn't uh did you get any of the gifts. what's in the bag okay what's in the bag. can I say this no what's in the bag. cantaloupe all right so you didn't I'm. sorry you did yeah yeah. just can I just say something please. what did I get you for your gift Issa.
and my mom I flew your mom and your. [ __ ] sister but it doesn't come back. to America it doesn't matter on my. birthday you didn't greet me at all. where was I nowhere to be found. literally where was I on your butt to be. honest I don't know you know where I was. I don't know. where was I where was I there not there. yeah I was no I was somewhere you were. there I wasn't doing a movie. I don't know what day was that what day. was that Wednesday how do you not know.
her birthday I was out of town you were. here yeah but you came home early yep. yep you sent me this video you were here. you were in touch oh yeah we got to do. the pod that's right that's right we had. to do the Pod no no but after the Pod. you were free I went home I went back I. was that during that thing was the Pod. you made me come here that was your. [ __ ] fault right I was like no. family's coming you're going no no we. got to do it is that what you said no no. please go ahead I got your family out. that's a lot of money so don't give me.
[ __ ] don't make it about money don't. make it about what do I make it about. it's about my intentions about it sure. she's rich without you my love not. really. good not really go ahead read the. [ __ ] thing read the card from Pete. happy 21st birthday don't black out and. have your mom show up like I did on my. 21st. that's cute but I don't even know what. that means he means he blacked out so. much he had his mom come pick him up oh. you oh you got drunk I did it wasn't bad. she didn't drink at all well tell the. story if it's embarrassing I'd like to.
hear it I was you know I was throwing up. I was blacked out and then my brother. called my mom and uh she showed up and. she was all hysterical and where were. you a mess I was at a friend's house and. then I I was just belligerent and I was. really embarrassing oh we should really. write that into a script that's exciting. I mean what the [ __ ] directed by Martin. Scorsese right and then the credits come. down after his oh I got drunk and then. my mom picked me up yeah Fade to Black. yeah yeah well this is the worst [ __ ]. movie.
oh that's that's great. let me see who would play you no. Charlotte buff I like that fat Jonah. Hill. all right I'll take that we got to plump. them up again yeah we gotta pump them up. Pete good story I love you to death yeah. okay shout out to Pete thank you for. being here because we missed Pete when. he's gone yeah fancy B what did you do. for your 21st doesn't matter you can. drink at 18 in Spain right what do you. do at 18. did you have an 18th birthday. everybody forgot about my email. so I was already uh. oh it is it's Applause he's baiting me.
it's baiting it you're a liar he lies. what's your problem who the [ __ ] is. gonna forget your 18th birthday well you. for example will forget any birthdays oh. oh that's an attack I love it wow yeah. yeah wow okay yeah yeah that's right you. know why I treat everyone every day like. it's their birthday that's true all. right I don't take days and go you know. this is the day I'm gonna give gifts to. this person and then never talk to him. for the rest of the year not me I. [ __ ] say hi a hug I give gifts and I.
give you the attention as if every day. is Christmas birthday Hanukkah Concerta. what's kansura what's the black one with. the in the Christmas. Kwanzaa what I say quantzero Quan Sarah. yeah it's like a Diet Coke spin-off. yeah anyway no you you are a good boy. thank you and stop attacking him stop. attacking me go ahead. from Andres Jules don't follow Tito. Bobby's footsteps and you'll be fine.
happy birthday oh really that's. interesting to me oh really the. footsteps of success you guys have the. same size Glory yeah you don't want the. glory you wanna go the Glory Road I. didn't say that Andreas gold [ __ ]. pathway like in the [ __ ] Wizard of Oz. what is that if I Follow the yellow. brick road yeah golden brick road with. you yeah and Follow the yellow man on. the yellow brick models yellow man yeah. yeah anything yellow.
this wall is long well it's the Wall of. China yeah yeah what else is in there. and then Andrew what'd I say dirty. that's right. booty dirty booty booty dirty booty Rudy. which I thought today is a great. nickname and I'm gonna keep saying it. now dirty booty Rudy yeah there she goes. dirty booty Rudy love you Jules happy. 21st very nice and very simple didn't. have to take shots at you I just said. happy birthday these guys both took. shots I understand that you see what I. mean these guys did I you're one of my.
best friends love you that's why there's. trust involved love you and that there's. a connection that you can't [ __ ] ever. suffer and these guys pieces of [ __ ]. pieces yeah these guys are right here. dude this is like if they were in our if. we were in a war right you and I front. line all right. Andreas you hit the wall right and we. turn around he's you can see his back. he's running. if and they were with him Bubba would be.
left out there Dead with no legs that's. right oh dead okay that's what you are. dude. sorry go ahead all right. how old is 14 what how many years of. school are you know what Forest is. Forrest took his idea. like. [Laughter].
you know Forrest Gump right he took. Bubblegum's idea about the shrimp and. [ __ ] yeah made money off it and then set. [ __ ] his the money to his dad mom mom. they would have stole the idea yep right. yep never give give a credit to [ __ ]. the guy nope right and and made all the. money that's right and never gave it to. the mom or whatever anyway sorry I got. that no I like it do you have anything.
to say for yourself yeah yeah that's. true I mean there's other movies I could. do there's other movies I could do but. I'm not gonna do it did you see the. Indian version of Forrest Gump what what. what there is there's an Indian version. of Forrest Gump when you say Indian you. mean Indian India or Native Indians not. native not native yeah India Indian. Forest gum yeah Forest Gump man. if it's called Forrest Gump man. we're done foreign.
just came out huh okay if Forrest Gump. isn't in the description it's not go. ahead read it zoom zoom zoom zoom okay. zoom in. is an Indian Hindi language comedy drama. directed by affidavit chandan.
it is a remake of the 1994 American Film. Forest Gump which itself is an. adaptation of the novel The Same by the. name from Winston groom the film stars. Amir Khan and the Telecaster alongside. Kareena Kapoor yeah to watch it then we. gotta watch it but is there like is it. the same exact story. well let me get this straight look at. the poster. let him get it straight go ahead what. can I get this straight so in Forrest.
Gump right there's flashback scenes or. whatever for us with you know I mean JFK. yeah so there's gonna be an Indian guy. next to JFK uh I guess yeah I mean I. don't get it well let's watch the. trailer there's an Indian guy in the. Vietnam War why is the India more it's. their War. oh just okay yeah it's their Vietnam. it's their Vietnam which is what. I'm so not educated. oh same feather. [Music]. [Laughter].
it's funny. oh my God Push pause. Push pause oh my God I love it it's so. weird let's see come on in fact India. should make remake all the movies I. think they do I think they actually do. yeah so is there like an Indian version. of like uh Star Taxi Driver everything. everything everything.
Bollywood makes everything and they make. like 10 times the films that we make. that's amazing. foreign. [Laughter]. that's amazing. rupa's Jenny. say no Aruba stop stop for a second wow.
they can change it to Cricket yeah it. doesn't have to be ping pong right you. could change it to Cricket what you know. you could have been crazy yeah yeah this. is well that's wild it looks beautiful. honestly like I want to see it I'm. crying yeah I am feeling yeah. I'm like really emotional about it well. I guess we have to watch this we have to. watch this movie we understand the. assignment tonight we're watching did. you see it half of it is that wait did. you see the original yo you let me watch. it I let you like I'm like you're.
[ __ ] I mean. what do you mean parole officer what do. you mean I've let you I remember you. said we have to watch Forrest Gump. tonight yeah oh that's right because you. had never seen it yeah and I forced you. to watch it where did you see it on. Netflix. um this one. oh we gotta watch it then yeah we do. have to watch it it's can I just say. something though yeah there's no way. it's there's just certain things in the. movie that wouldn't make any sense like. what well for instance like he learned. like as a kid Elvis is there a Bollywood.
singer that he learns that do this I'm. willing to bet my money there is the kid. teach Elvis how to do the little John he. dances there's a Bollywood actor there. that he looks up oh really and then that. Bollywood stole it from him that move. and then became yeah yeah wow okay they. got that we have to see it yeah yeah. what's another thing that you think that. like um well he didn't play football he. went to the University of Alabama but. they do rugby out there now well well. yeah but it didn't look like any does he. do that in the film at all um he just. races oh he just races.
yeah yeah. by the way luckily there's no black guys. in this movie they would have been all. right right by this guy yeah right. interesting is there a disease that she. has that's not him is that something. else I didn't finish it yet I don't know. put malaria yeah I don't know I don't. what do they have out there I don't know. they actually don't even say it they. allude to the fact that she got sick. which was up for speculation and. apparently that's a social uh uh social. guess they never once say that she has.
HIV yeah why do we think it's because. she was a heroin addict she was an. individious drug user we watched her use. intravenous drugs and then she said she. got sick so our assumption was it was. HIV but it might not have been. oh that's true okay isn't that isn't. that the Hope isn't that like the whole. thing yeah I think it was a social. perception that we thought that's what. it was interesting because there are. scenes with her intravenously using. drugs so we assume oh well she probably. got AIDS that's the time period lined up. right. huh but but she could have just had. [ __ ] cancer. I don't think it was AIDS you want to go.
yeah you wanted to I like it yeah yeah. that's two Age movies for Tom Hanks man. yeah after Philadelphia yeah back to. back yeah yeah but also. if it was HIV he would have he would. have got it because they slept together. when he had a kid with her. that's true that is true so it's not HIV. maybe he's maybe he's um. oh boy go ahead. well maybe some people are immune or. maybe what's the matter. no my phone's my thoughts just really.
fall. you're what my throat your throat is. what really full full of what phlegm. yeah. somewhere yeah well get up and do it. yeah you're allowed to leave. God she said she still thinks she's in. school I don't know this is crazy by the. way 14 she's 14. what what year was that. how that's why I asked before what grade. is that she's in eighth grade is this. show okay for an eighth grader I don't. think so. she's super sophisticated I know she. feels like older than you yeah yeah yeah.
and my mom talks a lot of nasty [ __ ] her. mom's nasty nasty [ __ ] like pure nasty. why couldn't she come to this. um she won't talk well because I would. rather I'm scared oh she is yeah and. she's not unfortunately she's she did. tigerbell and she was awesome it's. unbelievable let's we'll chat her up. when she gets back when she when her. throat is not anyway Forrest Gump check. out of the Indian one we'll watch it. we're gonna watch it yeah yeah by the. way don't tell her not to use the phrase. my throat is full it's just it's just. weird why if my girl say that to me my. throat oh boy no they have well I'm.
saying the way she said it sounded weird. you could just say I need to spit. it's like being like my butt is full. it's like just say you have to poop. oh [ __ ] that's true yeah I don't need to. I know that your throat is that maybe. that's how they say it out there though. my throat is full yeah my throat is full. yeah yeah okay spit yeah yeah my butt is. full yeah. yeah the Poo like like a like oh like a. woman that just has a baby is like my. kids are full and they have to have I. need to milk my teeth are full yeah yeah. I saw a movie last night by the way tell.
me one of the best the second best movie. I've seen this year I've seen two. phenomenal movies what are the movies. everything everywhere Ellen wants that. was a great movie it probably should win. everything in my opinion you [ __ ] you. fancy roll your [ __ ] eyes it's good. you'll never make a movie that good. that's a fact that's a fact you'll never. make a movie that good all right can I. tell you okay so this movie this. everything everywhere all at once and. the movie I watched last night is. unequality the best movie I've seen in. [ __ ] years the triangle of sadness oh.
I know I already know that because Gene. okay so it is so good okay last night it. is not really it is okay last night. check it out so don't even show me last. night I was having dinner with David. King and Jean Hong writers yeah right. yeah and they go did you see that movie. yet and you got to go watch it now and I. go it's gonna be I'll I'll watch it. streaming nope I know go everyone's. telling me to watch this [ __ ] movie. this movie is the satire about rich. people right well okay so first of all. if you ever see the movie Force Major he.
did this do you guys see Force majority. you've never seen Force Major oh my God. I don't like the way you talk down to me. no I'm busy man no you're not no you're. not an American they did an American. with Will Ferrell and and and uh um yeah. what's wrong. I don't want to see that one I want to. see the original one and let me tell you. something that okay voice major I want. to see this this was. Force majority original the one by the. Swedish guy is so [ __ ] funny but the.
comedy is why I like this other movie. that you'll love because it is small. very dark it's super dark his comedy is. not like Will Ferrell is like. it's a terrible that is not at all what. his kind of Comedy is so when they. remade it the movie bombed because. nobody wanted to see that kind of Dark. Twisted comedy from a you know he's like. a pratt guy Americans ruin everything. every every good International comedy we.
[ __ ] up that's for sure when I was on. this show splitting up together it was. based on a Dana show yeah right the. Danish show was so funny masturbation. jokes people cheating us it was like. because because the comedy is like. specific and real same thing with clowns. you guys receive cloven that movie clown. where the guy oh I love that so good so. good but we try to do it here they did. yeah bombed bombed miserably yeah that. movie was so so good so this movie Force. Major I highly recommend every one go. watch it it's online it's about a couple. a husband a wife who experience a.
[ __ ] Avalanche while on a ski trip. with their family and everything goes to. [ __ ] meanwhile his new movie I cannot. recommend enough triangle of sadness is. about a [ __ ] group of people on a oh. God how do I do this without giving. anything away it's a group of people on. on an international yacht yeah yeah but. there's so much subset to this I get it. there's so much beautiful commentary. about money Society glass class rules. are our social norms what was what's.
acceptable what's not Beauty and also. rest in peace Charles B Dean that girl. on the left that's on the poster it's. her and this guy Harris Dickinson which. let me say one more thing is the hottest. redhead I've ever seen in my life it's. the role that I wanted it's he's who I. want to be I'll never be I want to see. if child triangle with sadness playing. tonight now you have to now I'm gonna. watch it so let me just look click on. this guy though look at how hot this guy. is this is the first redhead I've seen. Lita film and [ __ ] is he hot look at him. with his shirt off this is in the movie. look at how hot this guy is.
this is he's okay he's so hot girls he's. a good looking guy he's hot and he's a. redhead I was so proud I was proud the. whole film but anyway go back to the. poster he did get 69 on Rotten Tomatoes. is that good or bad don't care okay [ __ ]. that whole site okay Charles B Dean. right there on the left the girl in the. chair who plays opposite of of Harris. passed away this year uh and is so good. in this [ __ ] movie honestly. ugh I know there's a comedy podcast but. I gotta tell you rest in peace of this. girl she would have had a [ __ ].
unbelievable career moving forward the. movie was it showcased how good she was. she was so funny so cool so funny so. sexy so like quick her her acting was. impeccable I think they both killed it. you saw it yeah it's so good it's so. [ __ ] good and Woody Harrelson. although he's in it for a short stint. you know crushes he does exactly what he. does yeah listen I'm so sorry I attacked. you maybe you will direct a movie that. you know me is going to be as good as. you know okay no we won't I know I I.
know you won't no we won't he won't but. come on just let's just be more positive. yeah you could Bobby Bobby he won't he. won't definitely yeah yeah. I'll tell you why you won't because you. can't give it up to that movie yeah. that's right your mind is closed that's. right right let's open it open it up see. the world I think and racist why because. there's Asians in it check yourself can. I tell you something I know that one day. he will direct a [ __ ] an amazing film. right and guess what what he'll never. talk to us again. I mean don't even get me started you'll.
never talk to us again he will he'll go. off and then he won't answer our phone. calls he won't even do this this is. exactly you know it. this will happen we'll walk down the. street hey Andreas he won't even look at. us oh right it'll have his bodyguard. step in front of us excuse me please. excuse me please. no no he doesn't know he wants to talk. to you please please and then. guess what happens what happens we. assassinate you no we go after your. daughter oh [ __ ] oh right yeah yeah. exactly your daughter's being born yup.
watch it we're gonna kidnap her kid. We're not gonna hurt her no nobody well. we're trying to create another movie. theme for him I have a very specific set. of skills yeah you're gonna become uh. what's my call yeah what is the movie. why can't I think take it. what is the Spanish version what's the. word take how do you say take in Spanish. [Laughter]. we still gotta say yeah. yeah box of Awesomes are my favorite. it's the best gift for for Christmas.
yeah that's a good it's a good thing to. do if you want to do it for yourself you. can also do it for somebody else to get. started all you have to do is go to box. of awesome.com and your answer is going. to help them pick the right box of. awesome pick a quiz yeah well it's like. yeah it's a good questionnaire yeah and. the box at boxingmossum.com and your. answers will help them pick the right. box of awesome for you it's pretty. incredible what happens is this box of. awesome if you're curious to know what. it is it's a specialty curated box sent. right to your front door they have a. bunch of different stuff inside I just. got another box of them shout out I got.
a gadget box the multi-tool comes with. the uh military tools that you can use. around the house they're field proven by. the U.S Special Forces and they also. have sent me uh multiple different uh. canisters and uh drink carts I've gotten. from them I've also gotten uh yeah The. Cask which is the barrel which ages. whiskey uh it's incredible the Aged. one's cool the Aging kit is from Black. Swan Cooperage if father daughter Duo. located in the heart of Minnesota. Northwoods the glasses are hand blown.
from Italian crystal glass it's pretty. incredible we also got the slash box for. Rudy of course which is the knife in the. slash boxes Bare Bones based in Salt. Lake City so all of these things by the. way that we're talking about that come. in the box of awesome they are from uh. wonderful local small companies and it's. great to support smaller businesses if. so if you want to get yourself a box of. awesome you can get 20 off your first. monthly box when you sign up at box of. awesome.com and enter the code bad. friends at checkout that's box of. awesome.com code is bad friends for 20. off your first box box of awesome.com.
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like sister. she still has a farm you have to talk. into the mic okay yeah okay a little. closer maybe she's so nice. so nice yeah yeah uh so do you do people. do you and your friends back home say my. throat is full when you need to spit is. that what everybody says that's what I. say I don't think it's weird have you. ever said that no we've never heard that. what are you supposed to say can I spit. I need to spit.
I think that's way too straightforward. maybe that is maybe she's maybe it's. gross I think we should start changing. the way we say stuff yeah it's a little. okay my throat is full but that doesn't. that still doesn't give us what you want. to do. no I think it's pretty clear no. if I it's a statement right my throat is. full my throat is full and I could just. basically go good good job. right I mean I don't know what that. means congratulations my stomach is full. and you go okay that's good good yeah. what'd you eat uh everything apparently. yeah so you're saying throw your throat.
oh my throat is full oh what's in your. mouth. what's it full of spit cool I mean that. doesn't give me a direction yeah right. so it's more like I need a spit I need. to spit right like your butt is full I. need to [ __ ] yes. say I need to you could always say like. hey um I have a big what do you call. them you always call them not loogie but. what's the other one choki it's chokies. yeah now what do they call in the. Philippines the the thick kind of spit. spit with snot in it what's that called.
oh man yeah. that's a cool name what are you looking. at you're not you're looking at your. knives Bud yeah you want you you want to. tell everyone to show and tell with your. knives this this is my fruit and. vegetable set yeah and I'm excited about. it say thank you to fancy and Pete thank. you and Jason also I've never seen you. cut anything in the house like. vegetables or fruit so don't pretend. you're gonna [ __ ] be using that [ __ ]. okay here's another thing okay right you.
[ __ ] up our dog our dog Julio no yeah. yeah yeah let's get let's get this all. out in the open okay okay let's get the. sound to open I'm very concerned about. you okay your [ __ ] our dog Julio what. wants to eat your mom and your sister. right and it's chaos I woke up today. with barking and Howling I've had enough. of it all right so why did you molest. the dog as a baby because there's. something [ __ ] up about it I didn't no. yeah yeah no what did you do with it.
then no why is it like that I don't know. because his brain is underdeveloped. oh I see it's underdeveloped how do you. know that. because that's what Delilah said because. he took Julio to a trainer and then the. trainer said that oh yeah the trainer. did say it was like a constant theme in. that house. in that whole house. the whole house is filled under the bed. yeah yeah I think we aren't developed. sure oh my God yeah so wait you I didn't.
molest him you promised I promise say I. promise I did you hit him no did you. push him down and he fell down the. stairs when he was young are you sure. and also I took care of William and he. was a baby for like two months and then. I went back to the Philippines and then. when I came back he was already crazy no. oh I love it I love what you're saying. putting it on you I love it I love what. you're saying I love what you're trying. to do right I'm gonna say this no right. right in your face okay let me say.
something right now okay you [ __ ] up. that [ __ ] a puppy right and yeah you. did and let me say let's do it. took care of you yeah not just me now. think about it now you two girls right. you know what you guys remind me of. right now right Filipino versions of the. [ __ ] two girls in The Shining oh yeah. all right and that's what's wrong right. now let's yeah you kind of look like. them too yeah yeah you ever seen The. Shining no look at him right there. that's them that's you too this is. YouTube right now that's what you should. have been Halloween this is what you two. are right now right and I don't [ __ ] if. you scared the [ __ ] out of me.
instead of like that hotel where would. it be though. [Laughter]. the audience knows yeah yeah that is you. guys that's you guys right there because. you guys sound similar you talk in the. same you talk you have the same. intonation when you talk yeah and I. that's just like these little creepy. girls like I bet you if I can say at the. same time to say a number one through. ten you'll say the same number no okay.
on the count of three say the number one. through whichever number you're thinking. one through ten one two three four okay. never mind. that was crazy we can do it again ready. yeah okay. wait we should look at each other no no. It's gotta be just telepathic you just. have to know yeah yeah you have to know. that you think you're both thinking of. the same number the exact same time. you're both sisters your blood there's a. connection Bobby and I have the same. connection yeah what about One Second. Glance yeah Andrew we do we we have the. same connection yeah uh ready yeah one.
two three nine whoa whoa that's you you. and I one two two three three. all right all right all right one two. three five. oh. my God you guys do it one two three. all right we can do it ready we can do.
it one two three two. oh [ __ ]. that's why this show is good that's why. we're connected. and we should take that to Vegas. I can't [ __ ] believe it we might. reconnect that was really good you want. to try again one two three no no. and your face. we're so good we're good we are very.
good oh are you blowing are you blowing. away yeah. is this is it now that she can legally. drink which one. not a 14 year old. can I give her a shot of whiskey can you. have one Shadow yeah do you want one. yeah I'm gonna get her one I drove here. though I drove you let her drive he. doesn't have a license dude it's L.A you. can't do a whiskey yeah if you're not. driving yeah yeah why can't you drive oh. yeah she gets a DUI runs over a baby can.
you imagine yeah she crashes into a. restaurant kills 35 people one shot one. shot no you know what we'll have one. soon I promise I promise you have you. been drunk before. you know that's yes yeah talk on the. bike yeah I have three or four times did. you get drunk at four times I get math. at 11. yeah yeah yeah and then have you done. any other drugs no no okay not even. gonna smoke weed no no can I can I have. you smoked a cigarette no wow can I.
bring up something personal okay and we. cut it off you don't like it right okay. she went what are you looking at what no. what I just looked behind you because. the picture fell yeah yeah no yeah so um. can I bring up something personal yeah. you did a number thing again try it one. two three seven oh my God [ __ ] anyway so. let me ask you wow wow.
yeah here's the personal thing okay you. went through a dark a time right you. would bleach your hair you got depressed. yeah you through that face. um yeah mostly okay you're happy now. you're happy now what was making you. depressed. um it's mostly like like self-image like. when I oh yeah that makes me sad wait. why but you lost a bunch away yeah you. cleaned up your ad you're getting great.
grades I heard and I just feel like. you've changed because we were worried. about you during the pandemic you're. going to anime style right you did Anna. you love the anime right yeah more than. her yeah yeah she learned Japanese. did you know Japanese say speak. something in Japanese. which ones I don't know that's not hello. I don't know. I don't mean to say anything. um. [Laughter].
yeah yeah I mean say uh say um I'm so. happy to be here. foreign. a 14 year old knows Japanese she's not. even American look at how good English. she is I know that's well that's also. because because of these these people. are always around right what's these. people you yeah yeah yeah no they did. she's been living with us for three they.
haven't seen each other I know but you. taught her how did you learn English. there's school they have school by you. guys. I'm kidding yeah Bobby what are you. talking about of course he knows [ __ ]. English everybody has [ __ ] English in. school now uh one two three eight oh my. God you did that way what hand thing you. did that no I didn't where where no wait. again. and then you went six and then seven and. eight no we didn't we didn't go on yes. you did okay no we didn't again no no.
you know what we're not doing it you. don't own this show we're not doing it. again this is our show yeah okay we're. not doing your bullies I want to go back. let's yeah let's talk so so you were. depressed before no longer depressed uh. sometimes but the body image thing I'm. being genuine when I ask this is it. because of people in school or [ __ ]. mean kids was that why. um no why not really it was just all you. yeah it's just my thoughts this is me. fighting myself I don't like that I. don't like it I'm glad that you're. feeling better yeah but it's I'm glad.
you went through it early because you. were like 11 12 13 when you went through. it right yeah and now you're out of it I. feel like yeah I would honestly when I. saw you in the Philippines and I and I. and we started talking and stuff we went. we had some great meals did we not yeah. oh my God it was a great [ __ ] dinners. man and you know and hanging out with. you I really was like I felt comforted. in the fact that you're bright you're. smart you're getting good grad you're I. think you're cool and I think the. knowledge that you have in terms of Art.
and Anime all that stuff is legit and um. I don't know why your sister is not like. you. you know but that's I guess genetics or. different dads different different dads. different dads your dad's a lawyer right. my dad was uh drug addict yeah exactly a. lawyer and a liar yeah yeah yeah yeah. you're you're your dad is still a lawyer. um he's a prosecutor now. dude.
are you going to come to the states. she's here now no I mean to live to live. to live you're visiting right now I'm I. want to you do you want we we're trying. to work out a thing where she went to. school here for a year right and it. didn't work out maybe next year. do you want to do it next year sure. would you want to do college here or no. yeah you do you'd rather do college here. then. um honestly it's I just want to try like. living here because I have this plan.
with my friend like we're gonna live. like because she's going to college in. Canada yeah and um if I'm going to. college here in La we're planning to. live in either LA or Canada where uh in. Vancouver is that where yeah she's not. sure yet she wants to live somewhere. where there's potato corner sorry a. potato quarter what the [ __ ] is a potato. corner it's like. um the French fry place in the. Philippines. [Laughter]. and we have to rewind okay stop stop all.
right your friend's Gonna Leave the. Philippines to come to North America. they have to have a potato corner yeah. okay let me just say something let me. tell you okay when I'm saying potatoes. we have fries too yeah. potato fries are the best yeah what do. you think our fries are made out of huh. it's asparagus potato too all right. there is the potato corner is that what. you're talking about yeah yeah the. world's best french fries I don't know I. can't impossible impossible let me see.
where are they located where are they. located I've never heard of potatoes no. because it's so weird because apparently. they're adding um a Filipino like. language to studying in Canada but they. only have like one potato corner in. Canada from what I heard. who the [ __ ]. where is the one where is that piece. what in L.A man is there one in L.A no. it's right there it's in there's one in. Americana potato corner in the Americana. in Glendale yeah how come this doesn't. show that in California Pete.
looking for the one in Canada well zoom. in it's a DOT I see the dot zoom zoom. more yeah go in that's in Winnipeg I. think no it just says no locations found. oh so find the one let me see them go. down to the one in California let me see. if there's one out here for real you. have to go we have to go we have to go I. feel like I want to go now yeah. there we go there's a punch. there's a bunch of potato Corners oh. there is there's like 10 of them in la. oh no oh we can prove this Theory here. we're gonna go we're gonna go so there's.
one in Pasadena there's one okay good. yeah let me ask you about potato corner. okay. if you closed your eyes right and I gave. you a french fry from in and out I gave. you a french fry from I haven't had it. enough McDonald's but you've never had. in and out uh no and I gave you a french. fries from potato corner you would be. you'd be able to differentiate between. the three yeah because a potato corner. has different flavors and like. show me the menu what's better.
you mean dips no look original powder. tater tots JoJo chips loopy fries or. curly fries and sweet potato which we. call also they're cut into waffle those. are waffle fries so right I'll pick look. at the third pick your flavor it's a. powder yeah so it's barbecue cheddar. sour cream and onion chili bro so it's. just powdered fries so what's great. about the fries is the powder the powder. not the fry that's right.
what do you mean don't shake your head. like that we're trying to win this. argument all right is it the powder or. the pride. [Applause]. when I got this I have a new car I know. you just got a brand new room and it's. the best it's so convenient no more. going into a hot you know I mean lot. walking around some guys greasy dude. yeah I hate it what are you looking to. buy yeah you never have to haggle or. negotiate the price of a car so you know. you're getting a good deal on vroom guys.
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first booking one app over 300 000. experiences you'll remember do more with. Viator. so this is the arrival video. of your your sister and your mom coming. to the coming this is your Coming to. America now you don't know it was a. surprise no I didn't know so the day. before the day before we go me and. colada go we got you a present and you. try to guess what it is yeah and then. you said something big and brown yeah. it's a big and brown I mean like is it a. couch you know she didn't know show me a.
lie right so then this is a surprise you. have no idea what's happening right now. okay go play it who's filming this good. camera work. what. happened. oh Rudy look at how happy the Rudy is. [Music]. oh rude.
Rudy she's crying. so sweet rude. how happy were you to see your mom. really helped and you didn't hug her. though your arms are still by your side. that is very sweet honestly that's very. sweet. thank you Tito Bobby thank you Tito. Bobby she's not genuine that was thank. you to Bobby it's not genuine yeah try. it again it sucks.
that felt good I felt better one more. time. one more time but do it this time with. be be like very honest and also not only. that throw in at the end I love you yeah. that would be nice yeah okay. thank you Tito Bobby. I love you. oh one two three one I told you. it's amazing we are so you have to do it.
without your. help we didn't have our [ __ ] your. hands put it back put it back what are. you talking about you're such a bully. you just do it one more for my birthday. first of all he brought he brought your. [ __ ] sister and your mom here yeah. for your birthday and you're asking us. to give you more gifts you spit on the. cake so we couldn't even have covet cake. yeah yeah we'll do it one more time okay. hide your hands one two three four. [Laughter].
can I get a slice of cake or what no. it's covered cake I don't care I'm sick. too all right well you guys go eat cake. in the front room what's up big dog. introduce the guest Matt Brown we will. we will in a second but I'm gonna say. Matt bronger.
let me just say something okay I was on. a TV show called Mad TV yes I was on it. for eight years and the last two years. was it last two years of last year the. year the last year I was on the show. yeah I canceled the show we canceled the. show me and you yeah we did Matt bronger. was a cast member on my eighth season of. Mad TV it was a real joy to work with. you I loved working with really talented. guys and we got to know each other real. fast I remember this is how comfortable.
I got with you where you sat across me. and you took your pants off while I was. eating lunch and I was like I don't need. to see your dick and balls man I'm. eating a salad and we both started. laughing so hard and I don't know why. yeah but did the salad have any meat in. it what's that did the salad it didn't. wow. that's why it's acceptable gotta fill. the void yeah did I really do that you. yes and you um I remember I wrote a. sketch that did really well and we all. went out for a drink the whole cast. after the that this taping and you're. like come outside with me and I was like. what and you're like you're [ __ ] and I.
was like what do you mean he's like they. love you you're gonna be on this show. for another six years like me I hate my. life bronker and you walked back in the. bar I couldn't tell how serious or not. you were Alex Borstein yeah the same. thing to me one sketch she goes I love. [ __ ] and I go I go why you're gonna be. on this miserable show for like five or. six years and I just had to say that to. him and she and you were right I was. right how many years ago I was I was on. and it got canceled.
that was it yeah oh no it was literally. the opposite I I uh I remember they they. canceled the show on my day off I'm uh. Eric Price called me and my agent called. me they're like yeah they just they. called everybody into the big room and I. was like [ __ ] that sucks but I'm really. glad I wasn't there big time just. looking around at all those Carpenter. you know people doing real work actual I. was there real work yeah to make a show. run camera people and they're just like. it was terrible [ __ ] man this was a gig. what was that fox it was fox fox yeah. what a [ __ ] bummer though you know.
that's the thing I think America doesn't. understand is like when things get. canceled uh there is no. um uh uh uh outline on how it gets done. they literally are like uh [ __ ] off they. walk off [ __ ] you right off uh to your. face I remember I talked to uh John Cho. after he got that show Selfie he was on. got canceled and I was like how are you. doing he's like you know what man I wish. just [ __ ] once I could be on one. [ __ ] show where they walked up and. said it's a hit yeah like he's like if I. could in my lifetime I've never gotten.
that and that dude Works Davey yeah. Dave's a hit but it's funny because it's. like it's we don't this is what's funny. no matter what level we're at we're it's. always a complainy thing because like. yeah Dave does well but they don't talk. to us about it so like of course not FX. doesn't like say hey this is doing good. like yeah we're good yeah you guys are. getting another season nobody tells you. [ __ ] the only way you get to hurt you. hear something is when they go hey there. you're canceled yes they don't go dude. this is awesome no they just let you.
keep sneaking along going are we good is. everything good that gives you power. yeah you know that gives you negotiating. power like their words you're gonna be. like I want more money yeah that's what. just like just keep it under wraps but. but it is true they don't tell you when. it's going good the only the only way. you know it's if it hit is it socially. you understand that people are like can. you imagine how good it would feel to. get hired and they're like we're gonna. have you for three seasons and then you. get shot in the face and you're like I. love it yeah yeah you're gonna get. [ __ ] gone down in the street yeah. yeah but they're like we actually are. going to kill you. no we're seriously we have like have you.
seen this this have you seen this um. Oculus headset that some guy designed. that kills you when you lose in the game. I I saw the article and I refused to. read it but tell me there is there there. is a game designer that's that tried to. design this thing where when you die in. the game you die in real life oh God no. really this is a [ __ ] heavy headset. that tries to kill what's that what. James Bond movie was that yeah I think. that was beautiful kill. view to die so go down what does this. say thanks to what to zoom in thanks to.
Palmer lucky there's a new way to die. playing video games he founder of oculus. VR since left the organization creator. of oculus rift has come up with a brand. new piece of VR headset it can actually. kill you if you die in the video game. that's insane it's fake that's not real. though it is actually real the idea is. real but obviously there's no execution. of it. no someone tried it. yeah I think the one guy that tried it. probably then it stopped I think we had. to kill it after that there he is. laughing about making it. this will kill somebody an innocent kid.
this white piece of [ __ ] you imagine you. imagine like a family member why did you. make it so far of course wanted to kill. people Yes Man Out of Control first of. all yeah listen half of the yellow white. guy but an Asian guy designed it that's. exactly that yeah okay you came up with. him theme music. you came you guys come up with all the. intricacies yeah we just have to put it. to Market here's my question for you. guys yeah a family member dies by this. thing do you lie and say they died of. like autoerotic Exposition yeah like.
what's more embarrassing yeah he was. video game killed you or you choked. yourself to death Jack in it it depends. on and you know the level of autoerotic. asphyxiation is is different though. because like I think belt against the. door is kind of cool. yeah let me ask you something it's a. sexy it's a sexy feel that good it must. oh yeah could Kung Fu die from it right. yeah he did in excess he died for a. minute yeah yeah so people big people. have done it so it must feel. if you're selling out in excess 30 50. 000 seat Arenas right yeah and you're.
still having to do that that must feel. much way better yeah probably yeah yeah. but also you know I think it's because. you're gonna try it David Carradine you. want to get close to the edge that's all. that yeah that's it and then pull back. and then stop yeah they went two for far. but that's why you always do it with a. friend Matt comes over yeah exactly. exactly we watch each other it's just. like when we do a ton of cocaine it's. like uh my left arm's numb can you take. me to the hospital yeah you've got to do. these things with a friend you can't. David Carradine was wearing a fishnet. stock in a dark wig when his body was. found in Bangkok God damn it look at.
David reveals incest that's how you go. out yeah a wig and fishnet oh wow that's. the song One Night in Bangkok that's. what it's about that's good it's about. dying and fish not choking yourself. that's that's got to be part of the the. the the the like the high though too. we're like oh God what if they found me. what if they all right I better be. wearing my good heels yeah oh yeah I. better be wearing my red box I don't. want to die in sneakers you you gotta. have Jimmy shoot like Jimmy shoes on. yeah those balenciagas on my feet Daddy.
really if I'm gonna die in drag I better. be wearing good [ __ ] clothes when. they find me you don't want to die in. drag wearing like cheap [ __ ] bag lady no. we found this bag lady upstairs no you. want to die in fashion you want to die. in Chanel dude so if I wore Forever 21. I would not pick up some nice stuff I. know but if I were wearing a full blown. from head to toe Forever 21 would not. come to your funeral that'd be. embarrassing yeah I'd be ashamed well no. they wouldn't dress his body in that. what do they what no they should dress. you in what you were found in all right. you should not get dressed up in like a.
suit when you die you should be whatever. you died in that's how you that's how. you go I like that as an ordinance like. you just people in an open casket just. in their underwear yeah yeah one sock. yeah wouldn't you be naked doing that no. dude so who wears clothes do you wear. you wear a button front I wear a button. the front of my dress all right I wear a. sundress yeah if I were gonna do that. I'd be naked I know but what you're. missing is part of the fantasy is that. they're role playing this world of like. sex and and and it's and it's like oh.
they're doing something naughty and. wrong so he's wearing like clothes he. doesn't usually he's by himself in a. full-blown [ __ ] outfit his his. [ __ ] neck is tied to a door yeah no. one's around and he cares about what he. looks like it's for him I didn't know. that what if he had his Kung Fu outfit. on like yeah. some things are just for you yeah so. bronger do you you you did a special. what's it called it's called Doug it's. named after a terrible guy my wife and I. met on vacation oh really yeah it's a.
theme then well because it has a story. at the end that has like a big reveal. where I have an audience member on stage. and I take my pants off and that's my. idea. yes I'm also asking the booker if I can. only do 20 minutes. can I just do 15. no Bobby they know. everybody I respect people I love it. they sure do yeah people know me look at. that that's the art for Doug it's yeah. so that's why it's all vacation themed.
and so it's it's like I I think you guys. would agree men need good examples in. our lives sure you know we also need bad. ones and Doug was a terrible example. Doug uh followed a Dude down the beach. insisting the guy played for the uh the. NFL it was just a large black man we. were in the Caribbean oh uh he uh he got. every time I saw him he was drunk and. wet every time yeah no matter what time. it is this is your bit and you're done. you're Doug yeah it's Bobby before he. got clean does this man know does this.
man know you know I don't know yeah I. don't know he knows he's gonna like uh. it's the whole special isn't about him. it's about the you know driving my my. kid across the country during the. pandemic how many kids are like I didn't. know that one just one okay just one and. I'm snipped and that happened after my. TV apps a long time ago this kid is two. years old um. thank you brother appreciate it uh and. uh yeah so that's it's it's available. where is it I did moment house and then.
I then I did a VOD and then at video on. demand and then it's gonna go to YouTube. just basically the first two. installments were kind of just to pay. for production and now I'm good okay. yeah so why why that road because I know. that I already did that road I know that. Schultz kind of did that oh Schultz. Schultz was my inspiration Schultz made. like upwards of five or six million yeah. yeah yeah yeah yeah and uh I did not but. I did fine uh and and I mean but he's. like the Magellan yeah of everything. modern he really is comedy in terms of. promotion yeah yeah uh but it was like.
because of him I was like oh why don't I. try this that's crazy but yeah well I'm. glad I think that is a good like um road. that you can take well it's we're in the. age of wild Frontiers like you know you. guys do this podcast it's insanely. popular you know and I know you both. individually and I never would have. called it yeah. you're right you're right literally just. doing [ __ ] till you find something that. works you guys together you work great. you're both hilarious comedians I'm not.
bullshitting here I'm not calling you. thank you gift [ __ ] [ __ ] but it's. like it's just finding the thing that. works will Doug work for me I I like it. I think it's fun does Doug know that. you're is it did you change his name or. does it no his name was Doug do you know. him I mean no never we we spent this. weekend at the same Resort and they. didn't have a lot of guests so he would. him and his wife when you get uh I. shouldn't say unexpectedly but when you. get murdered sure we know who did it I. mean he works in finance he probably has. some dough yeah does he live here uh no. I have no idea you better hope not yeah.
you're definitely leaving breadcrumbs. it's not 100 I didn't say his last name. or what he looks like or anything no but. you know that's so funny is there's two. ways for this to be played out sure on. his in his world one he tells nobody. because he doesn't want anybody to know. this for the rest of time of course or. two he tells everybody he meets that I. am Doug yes and like then it's a. prideful thing he's like that's me it's. all funny wow left out so much [ __ ] like. there was there was a beach bar that was. in a hollowed-out boat that was just dug.
into the sand and there was a large. black man named Elvis who bartended. there every night and it was great you. just sit on the edge of the boat and. you'd have your beer or whatever and. Doug would go and Doug would just be I. wouldn't even say like passed out he. would go sleep he'd go sleep on the bar. and like people would take pictures in. front of him yeah and the next day him. and his wife be laughing like Ah that's. me and I'm like you you have a prop like. duh yeah this is just no that the thing. is it's like no self-awareness I think. like it's important to not have. self-awareness as comedians where we.
need to get out of our heads and just be. like I'm gonna do my silly [ __ ] and. you're gonna you know like I love how. Bobby just comes out and just says. something on his mind like something was. backstage that was [ __ ] with him and. it's just it kills It's the funniest. [ __ ] you know I try to get more into. that style yeah yeah but like you know. when it comes to you you only have one. life you know you have to be aware yeah. yeah of what you're what you're. ingesting well Doug is doing it for what. it's worth dog is living that one life. he has he's doing the best he possibly. can also I do think Doug should be a uh.
supplement if not a replacement for like. when you're too [ __ ] up like it's like. dude your dog you're so dugged right now. Matt you're a good actor too are you are. you doing other things or not yeah I. mean well the thing is I'm I'm always. I'm always going in for stuff right I. mean it's like I kind of laugh about how. I'm that person that has gotten so close. like a lot yeah and it's like I'm I've. I'm happy and stuff and I have my little. moments where I just go God damn it what. is this kind of thing yeah but. thankfully I have stand up yeah that's.
my wife and my kid I don't know how. people like if I was just an actor and. they brought me in uh twice and tested. over the course of a year uh and all but. offered got me the the lead in the. Showtime series and then David Schwimmer. expressed interest and it was gone yeah. yeah if all I had was acting I would I. don't know what I would do is that would. really happen oh yeah I would emulate. what was that on it didn't go anywhere. it was an it was a it was an all the. time me and Heather Campbell improvise.
an entire sitcom well listen up ladies. and gentlemen of uh YouTube uh world and. podcast land uh go watch Doug right now. Doug he's like. so funny he's a guy that I've known you. sound sad when you're saying it. like say it happier. no I mean I thank you. you're right you're right it just sounds. you're like ah listen guys hit a gun. Point give me another action and action.
hold on. yeah that's so forced full sound and. also you've got a good amount of cake in. your teeth you have like a good cake. tooth on your left side which I'm cool. with all right and action. seriously guys. Honestly though it's wonderful it's good. to be here what's it called I gotta get. into the Rhythm yeah I feel yeah that's. what it looks like so don't even like I. love it I love everything I love this. guy honestly guys I love this guy he's. he's a guy that I've known for a very.
long time he's a part of our group right. he's. um a killer on stage I've worked with. him on a TV show he's amazing. um great actor great stand-up and the. reason why he's on this podcast. promoting is because we really want to. help this guy because he's one of the. best oh man and we love him so much why. do you keep looking at me. we never have people on this podcast. ever yeah we don't it's like you're like. the 300 episode fourth guy I appreciate. it because it's also people listen to. the podcast for you guys and I know when.
you said my name and it was a name they. might not have known they were just like. oh what the [ __ ] no no no that's not. what this happened. so I give your listeners credit we like. to educate people okay so what I'm. saying is because they're not that. educated so you're a [ __ ] great. please watch it on YouTube thanks you're. gonna [ __ ] love it yeah go watch go. watch Doug right now uh on these yeah. you do a thing now oh oh okay ready five. for Action hey guys please watch Matt. bronger's Doug on YouTube right now that. was a condensed I mean that was a lot it. was a lot better than both right I feel.
like yours was clamoring at [ __ ] all. this [ __ ] I give it to him straight. yours was a perfect candy yours was a. fantastic wedding cake let me be honest. dude that's great yeah all right Bueno. thank you so much. [Applause]. um I also. um wanna pay my respects to. somebody that is. um it's so important to stand up comedy. um Bud Freeman he passed away I know his. uh daughter Zoe you know Zoe Friedman.
yep she worked for Comedy Central and um. but it was always a nice man you know. he's at the level of Mitzi and he's like. a one of the [ __ ] Godfather. Godfathers of comedy and um he was a. nice man and a legend and without his. Club I don't think we'd be where we're. we're at nope The Improv is such a he. was the only he started the Improv he. started the Hollywood and probably. wouldn't improv home to some of the most. famous comedians you've ever seen and. heard of uh started there got their.
start there cultivated there it was a. cultural place where famous people would. go just to watch shows shout out to Bud. Freeman that's him there on the left. with the monocle he's he was the [ __ ]. man rest in peace to a [ __ ] absolute. Legend in comedy who found cultivated. and promoted some of the greatest. talents in our comedy world he was in a. super super wonderfully smart cool dude. who definitely got it I feel like. there's a lot of deaths. yeah. and I and I'm kind of thinking to myself. why is that it's because I'm getting. older people die yeah no because as I.
get older people that I know are now. getting much older you know what I mean. like Harlan said something to me. yesterday is like I turned 60 Monday it. blew my mind yeah 60 is wild it's wild. you know so it's like well love each. other cherish the ones love each other. love each other baby anyway it was let's. bring the girls back in let's bring the. girls back in yeah do you want to be on. the show full time yeah yeah yeah I. think so I think so what do you think of. our psychic abilities. it's fake how could it be fake do it two.
more all right with your hands on your. back all right okay and you know what we. won't look at each other. all right okay. one two three four no no no no you. followed you follow me. okay one more one more wait wait we go. wait one two and then I'll say I'll. count down because well I'll see it well. that way no because your rhythm is wrong. one two three go okay no you don't say. go okay one two three and then you do it.
yeah okay go one two three three. one more one more one more one. two three nine. thank you for being here. [Music]. you guys. [Music]. yeah if it's if it's industry I'm not on. the list. but when it comes to the people you're.
online I'm on the list well the people. are all that matters you got among other. people. and you know what too you guys don't. respect me you guys look down on me you. let guys like Matt brunger slam me when. they're right I only do 20 minutes you. know what I mean this and that and I. mean and go [ __ ] yourselves dude one day. I will get my [ __ ] day in the light. if you wake up a little earlier it'll be. in the butt. I gotta do what you have to do man. beat his ass.
do it on camera. do it on camera. leave that in. [Music].
